The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 695 - Albert Okura

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Albert Okura SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Hims  Helix Sleep Squarespace - use code: Dollop...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to the Dullup on the all what's wrong with you things comedy network. This is an American history podcast. Each week I Dave Anthony read a story from American history to a pig. Gareth Reynolds, onky onky listeners who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I want to tell you about my day before we start. Okay. I drove from New York and I'm headed to Nashville. And I mean, the fire smoke. Yeah, yeah, I've heard so, so bad that it was like my, you know, it was like apparently this it's not good for you. So, um, well, wait, wait, though, you know that
Starting point is 00:00:57 Republicans are taking care of this because they sent a letter to Canada, state Congress, no because actually Canada saying that they have to rake their forests and stuff. Yes. However, on top of that, the problem is that they're not going to... It's very complicated and nuanced what's happening with the... I think it's safe to say the Republican government right now. If you're a state that is anti-Israel, you're not going to be getting help when it comes to your own disaster relief efforts. So I might have been driving through some of these democratic horseshit zones.
Starting point is 00:01:40 So they're kind of screwed in their own right. But obviously, we're all for fighting Canada. But so I'm driving to avoid the fires. And I'm just, I'm like with Luke and I'm like, we just have to head south. I'm like, we like we're going along like, you know, ways is taking us kind of West before we go. And I was like, no,'re you're driving right into it. Then it's it's so bad. And and it's depressing, obviously.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And my eyes are really wide. Because it's it's the fact that it's it's, you know, it's that it's happening. So it's like really happening. And yeah, but that's depressing. AI will fix it. AI is great. AI has got a good plan, obviously. AI has got a great plan. But so then we find, so I'm like, so we find this little town called Worcester in, I guess
Starting point is 00:02:40 in Ohio. I don't even know. I mean, I don't think it's, oh, it's not Massachusetts. It's not. No, no. Like in like, so's like so we say it's a fake. Yeah. It's look, it's got a really good mall energy. And and so we drive here and then, dude, I'm at the front desk and you know, it's like, you know, I mean, I'm just why I said we would start at whatever time we're going to start at.
Starting point is 00:03:07 So I'm like, I have plenty of time, 20 minutes. I'm like, that'll be fine. All that. And man, the front desk experience was like, wow. So fire drove me to here. And then I had this experience with the woman who was checking me in who literally with my California ID three different times confirmed that the address on the ID was in the United States. And I, the third time I go, I go miss it is a California driver's license. I was like that, that address
Starting point is 00:03:43 has to be in the United States. And she was just confounded like, I don't know. And then offered me an extra bottle of water as a mea culpa, which I was like, great. Well you sound really sick. So. Yeah. Well, she was the picture of health for sure. Well, it sounds like you had a true American experience. And I think you should be happy that you got to experience freedom. It's December 3rd, 1951. Year of our Lord J.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Town, who who's taking some time off. Yeah, we're in. Let's go already. We're like, it's time, dude. Albert Ryu Akura was born in Wilmington, California, near Long Beach. OK. His grandparents left Japan for Southern California in 1910, and Albert's father, Tiochi, was a star player on the San Pedro Skippers, which is a semi-pro Japanese American baseball league team.
Starting point is 00:05:00 OK, so I like the dad. That's who cares. He's a star player. So when World War Two started, he was already in the dad, he's already in the feeling. He avoided being sent to Japanese internment camps because he's already in the army. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I think that let that be a message. Thank you. Future internment. Possible entrance. If you can embrace our sport well enough. No, no, no. It's because it's not. No, it's not because of the sports.
Starting point is 00:05:45 It's because of the because he is in the army, not because he's a baseball player. OK, so I. Oh, let's just rejigger this. Yeah. So if you're willing to if you're willing to fight on our behalf in a war. You're fine. You're good to go. Although not really, because now guys who did that are still being rounded up and put into concentration. Back then, back then, back then.
Starting point is 00:06:12 That was I'm not saying now. Now it's time for white face. Albert had an idyllic childhood in Wilmington. He had a bicycle, a paper route. Mostly spent his money on baseball cards. Typical kid, right? Sure. Comic books, he loved hamburgers.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Well of hamburgers. Yeah, I know, that's definitely, that's. Now, Gareth, in the 1950s, a burger was about 29 cents. Yeah, okay, sure, Oh boy. What's. And when Albert was 10, the first McDonald's opened nearby. It sold 15 cent hamburgers. Okay. It's cheaper. Hell of cheaper. About a buck 59 today. That would be the comparison. So every Sunday, Albert's family went to McDonald's to the drive-in for dinner and Albert loved going.
Starting point is 00:07:09 So the drive-through or the drive-in? Drive-in. Okay, so they got McDonald's and then went to the drive-in. No, the McDonald's was a drive-in. A car hop. A drive-in, oh, like little day. People come to the window. Yes. All right. I'm on the same page.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I don't know if we are. And so Albert loves going to take a time out. Just come on. Let's connect a little bit. You seem to seem like you seem like you came out of a fire and you haven't recovered. Yeah, but you're you're attacking me for something that's out of my power. Knowledge. Not my fault that I drove through fire. Be my buddy. Look, be my pal.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Let's I don't give I don't give sympathy to comics on the road. What does that even mean? What is wrong with you? Who are you? Brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald opened the original McDonald's barbecue in San Bernardino in 1940. Yeah. Well, yeah. How you guys like it? Those ribless rib sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:08:21 You muted yourself. Well, maybe you finally stepped in. Luke, listen, can you mute him in the background? That's not possible. There should be one of those. Yeah. So it's a drive in with car hops, as we explain. And it did very well.
Starting point is 00:08:42 But the brothers got tired of constantly looking for new car hops and new short order cooks because the old ones would leave for higher paying jobs. OK, discuss. So instead of because you see, there is an answer here. Do you see the answer? Yeah. Kill the kill the kill. No, no, no, no. Stop them. No. So they are they, they are.
Starting point is 00:09:05 They are. They are your enemies. Once you hire. No, hold on. Once you hire a person, they are your indentured servant forever. You're lucky to get any scraps. No, you could just pay them more. Me, boy.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Leave me, boy. You pay them more so they stay at the job. Well, I touched the burger to the back of my hand. Taste it. Yeah. Okay. You. The brothers were also tired of. Boy, what do you what are you doing? How dare you higher wages.
Starting point is 00:09:48 I'll take your penis. Okay. So far it, uh, it's weird. What, why would you? Yeah. Okay. All right. Uh, the brothers are also tired of teen customers breaking or stealing the glasses in the dishes. The glasses and the dishes? Yeah, they they it would come out on a tray and there was glasses and dishes. I mean, again, that's what you do. I remember when they do you remember when they used to have the like foil ashtrays at
Starting point is 00:10:21 McDonald's? Mm hmm. Oh boy, did I steal a lot of those. I think I might have two from a we were a Jack in the Box family. You people. Yeah. What? In 1948, the McDonald's brothers fired.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Oh, I already did that. Oh, sorry. So it I didn't do this in In 1948, they fired their carhops and they closed down for three months. So they shut everything down. Okay. And they revamped McDonald's. And it came back as a self-service drive-in.
Starting point is 00:10:59 No carhops, cut out the labor, and they had a radically new way of preparing food with the division of labor like a factory assembly line. Now employees only need to be trained to do one task skilled and expensive short order cooks no longer needed. So they figured out a way to get around the labor. Yeah. So the brothers also replaced dishes and glassware with paper cups, bags, and plates. Okay. All great.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Items eaten with a knife, spoon, or fork were gone. Yeah. Menu is now down to just the top selling items you can hold with your dirty little hands. Yum. To attract the young families. They stopped hiring women worried that they'd attract the teenage all the teenage bros to the restaurant. So they got rid of get rid of the teenage bros.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Great. What a great barometer for a functioning society. The women will be harassed. They're unirable. Well, then we can't have women around if young men will look. Look, look, men are rapey. No more women. So with the new small menu and the patented speedy service system. It does better
Starting point is 00:12:27 Yeah, a lot better and pretty soon they expand to seven locations across Southern, California and Arizona let's go and the McDonald's method becomes a blueprint for the rapidly growing fast food industry which directly inspires Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. and obviously many others. Disgusting. So now, Gareth, in 1954, Ray Kroc comes to McDonald's for the first time. He's 50 year old, 52 years old.
Starting point is 00:12:58 He's diabetic. He's an alcoholic. He's a high school dropout. He's a man in the 1950s. It's getting it done. He works as a salesman. He's a high school dropout. He's a man in the 1950s. It's getting it done. He works in the 1950s. White man. He's a sales guy.
Starting point is 00:13:11 You don't need a background. You just got to talk. Yeah. The past couple of years, he had been selling a milkshake machine called the Multi Mixer. Sure. And that could make six at once. Six milkshakes at once? Malts.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah, six at once. Called malts then. The San Bernardino McDonald's had 12 of these machines. And so Croc just couldn't believe that a place needed so many. So he went there to see why they needed so many of these machines. That's crazy. Sure. It's a lot of malts.
Starting point is 00:13:51 So adding to McDonald's corporate history, according to McDonald's corporate history, Croc quote had an epiphany and he was determined That his future would be in hamburgers. I Mean that's a big moment for a young Old man. Yeah. Yes, it's very dumb. My futures hamburgers. Are you gonna order? Sir, oh, I'm thinking of the future. Hold on I'm not gonna order I'm gonna order all of them, sir sir, every hamburger from now Intel hundreds of years, honestly the guy in front of me is having a stroke. I
Starting point is 00:14:39 foresee hundreds of thousands of franchises and guy comes in every Thursday. Everywhere just tells me the future is burgers and he's the guy who's going to bring them together. Money. Oh, my God. He just houses the free ketchup. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Why? What are we doing? Trying to you just were saying now that your future is hamburgers. And is this the origin of the Hamburglar? This feels like his story. Well, he's going to come up. Oh, good. So he convinced the brothers to let him open franchises in other states. And and croc and croc and the brothers opened the first national McDonald's
Starting point is 00:15:33 franchise in Duplanes, Illinois. And by the end of the night, Valet says was from all is it really? Yeah, I see what you're doing. No, no. By the end of. Can, is it really? Yeah. I see what you're doing. No, no. By the end of. Can you enjoy it? That's a good little bit.
Starting point is 00:15:49 It's a nice one. Talk about nuggets. By the end of the 1950s, there were over 220 McDonald's in the USA. OK. So that's that's pretty massive expansion. That's sad. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:03 It's sad how hard it catches on so quickly. Yeah, it is. But I said that we're just just groveling pieces of shit for just burgers. It's all about the weight and without the weight, right? It's not. It's not order comes the way. Think about it.
Starting point is 00:16:23 I did. I didn't. Doesn't make sense. Without the weight comes the weight. In 1961, the year Albert ate his first McDonald's hamburger, Croc borrowed money to buy out the McDonald's brothers for 2.7 million. Okay. The brothers sold the McDonald's brand and the name, but they refused to sell. Stupid.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Yes, they refused to sell real estate rights to a few of their old restaurants, including the original San Bernardino location. So they basically gave away everything except for a few restaurants. Well, they made a lot of money. I mean, that's retire money. Like, sure, they were done. They made it. Yeah, they definitely made a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:17:17 So Kroc opened the McDonald's franchise nearby. And because he owned the name, he made the brothers change the name of their restaurant to Big M's. Big M's. So he's a dick. It's a dick move. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:33 It's just a dick move. Yeah. Well, I like when a fucking piece of shit capitalist comes along to like regular people. It's not a competition. You're like, oh, ever. Yeah, it sucks. So.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Croc is a very good promoter, and he turned McDonald's into the world destroying thing it is today. The shirt's nightmare. Now he had met Walt Disney. Oh, Christ. World War II. They were both training to be ambulance drivers, so they were friends. That is crazy. And Kroc and Walt Disney both obsessed with cleanliness and control and very good at selling
Starting point is 00:18:21 products to parents or kids or whatever, right? Sure. So his marketing innovations like publicity through charity like the Ronald McDonald House. He had tie ins with Disney movies, the NBA, the Olympics. It makes McDonald's the most recognizable thing. It's all about his like ability to promote and right today there's 13,000 in the US and 40,000 in the world. That's awful. Really awful. So now Albert, he's a student still. He's okay. He's not a great student. He went to junior college because he didn't want to be drafted into
Starting point is 00:19:02 the Vietnam War. Yeah, he's back. So he doesn't want to be drafted into the Vietnam War. Sure. Yeah, he's back. So he doesn't want to be drafted into Vietnam. So he goes to junior college, which I highly recommend for everybody if there's a war. In 1971, Nixon dropped. Can I do it? No, you're too old. They don't want you. Who?
Starting point is 00:19:24 The Juco or the draft? The draft. Nobody wants you. The draft would be lucky to have me. First of all, I'm not going to serve. They'd be lucky to have me. No, you would be totally useless. A war.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Absolutely not. I would be that they'd make a move. Mel Gibson to make a movie about me. That's how good I'd be. Anyway, we don't need to get to rail. Let me tell you why I wouldn't get drafted. Well, here's why I wouldn't get drafted. Ask just ask me, you're the draft board. Just go ahead. No, no, just ask me.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah. So, yeah, we're pretty excited about you. Is there anything? Yeah, yeah, I'm really. Yeah, I'm looking forward to getting in. I want to kill as many officers as possible. Yeah, not in training. I'll wait till we're out in the field and then I will. I think it's called is it called? Well, you wouldn't be able to kill that.
Starting point is 00:20:15 You wouldn't be able to kill the enemy and our bearer. No, no, no, not the enemy. My own. You're talking about American American soldiers. Yes. Well, sir, you, you're right in. You're going to be right. Yeah, you're going to fit right in. All right. Now do me. Now try me.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Is there anything we should know about you? I'm super in to poop. Well, welcome. Thank you. Welcome. We call you Ted Nugent. Thank you. OK. Yeah. Do you think that would get you out of this? No, I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Let me try again. Go ahead. Go ahead. Anything you want to say? Yeah. I'm not into poop at all. Well, we are neither, sir. Welcome to the military. Damn it. Do you know how many do you know how many if a war happens and they start the draft, how many trans people there will be in America?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Oh, yeah, that'll be. Be amazing. Boy, oh boy. That'll be amazing. You'll find it'll be fine. Fucking watching. Fucking like Chevy Silverado's with the pride flag on the back. Finally covering their Declaration of Independence vocab. It's just like, all right, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:43 We're just going to need you to say the trans life matters. Of course. I'm very I'm trans. I am a trans. I'm a trans them. We looked on your Twitter bio and it just said he him still. I'm changing that. This just hit me.
Starting point is 00:22:14 that. This just hit me. Okay, so in 1971, Nixon dropped the draft and then Albert dropped out of school because that's the only reason he was in school. Sure. And he starts working as an assistant manager at Burger King in Torrance. So he's kicking ass. He really loves hamburgers. He really wasn't kidding I said the hamburgers. Yep. He quickly, he moves up the ranks. He becomes a store supervisor. Now at the time he was the only non white person in BK management meetings. Okay. But they don't talk about him in history books as far as like being that groundbreaking of a you know, that's, you know, first Asian American to be in Burger King. Jackie Robinson and Burger King.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Yeah. Thank you. It's weird. But Albert never, he doesn't really think himself as a minority. Just a regular American. That's how he views himself. He's just a regular old American. I'll be later.
Starting point is 00:23:04 That's that makes you not American. Ah, shit. Yeah, that's a big part. A big part of being an American is recognizing the race. So unfortunately, yes, we're going to have to let you go. Later, he would write, quote, I spent my whole life here. So the only thing I know about Asian countries is they are proud people and they don't like each other.
Starting point is 00:23:28 OK, I'm like Americans. Yep. Albert became friends with one of his regular Burger King customers, as we do. Oh, no, he's wrong with this. No, no, I know my local Taco Bell cashier. He's always asking if my address on my driver's license is located in America. How sad is your life if you if anyone at a fast food place becomes your friend? Well, it's it's like if you're the employee and there's some weird guy who keeps coming in and he's like, is Kathy working?
Starting point is 00:24:04 And you're like, oh, God, this poor in and he's like, is Kathy working? And you're like, Oh God, this poor man. Oh God. Is Kathy there? How are the fries? Maybe you make me a very crispy batch. No. What a Dairy Queen. What?
Starting point is 00:24:19 I think you'd be coming with people at a Dairy Queen because it's a different animal crazy statement. It's a, it's a friendly joint where everybody's family. No, like if you're talking about like you're BFFing with like an employee at Schlotzky's deli. Well, now I get it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Schlotzky's. You're in there. We're in schnitzel. What about your we're not see Panera definitely can be a Panera. No, I have anything to say about der Wiener Schnitzel. You're an idiot. Got anything to say at all? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:24:50 Stupid. You're a Nazi. What did you say? What did you say? Enjoy your Reiki. The last time I said it, what did you say? You kept last couple of times I said der Wiener Schnitzel and you said fucking made up Nazi propagandist bullshit.
Starting point is 00:25:06 And then I showed you a picture of the actual derwina schnitzel that it was called during the schnitzel and what you do, you yelled at me to go Klaus. What do you want from me? I don't care. You're still a Nazi when it comes to hot dogs. They put on the mustard and sign ketchup. They put on the mustard on the ketchup. So the guy he meets and befriends is a real estate agent named Ray and Ray talked Albert into buying a two bedroom house in Torrance for 69,000. But Albert still lives with his parents and rents the Torrance house to friends who trashed it and never paid him rent.
Starting point is 00:25:46 So business wise, he's not great. That's not what you're supposed to do. He's good at business. But inflation is high and real estate is booming. So Albert still sells the house and makes a little bit of profit a few years later. Okay. So one day Ray told Albert that he had
Starting point is 00:26:07 one big real estate regret. In the late 1940s, land in California was very, very cheap. So cheap that Ray could have bought his own town and been the mayor, the chief of police, just been his whole, his whole empires did. Sure. But he never did it. And he regretted it to this day. And Albert never would forget Ray's story.
Starting point is 00:26:32 He was always like, that's an amazing idea. I'm going to make a city called Hamburger. I would go to a city called Hamburger. Yeah. Well, you'd probably go to Dear Wiener Schnitzel and you do whatever they told you to do. Be a good little soldier, wouldn't you? When I went when I was a child, I went to Dear Wiener Schnitzel quite a few times. Is that right? Because it's real, it's a real teach you how to march.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Huh? Do you get a little like armband? Huh? Do you join their little program? Huh? Did you in 19 in program? Huh? Did you? In 1980. You're a good little boy, David. You are. You're a terrible person. You're such a good boy. Now, eat the Venus. Eat the Venus.
Starting point is 00:27:13 I don't like your stereotypes. Now, remember, there are certain people who won't eat the Venus schnitzel. They're not the chosen people, David. They don't need you to help with that. They must be dealt these accordingly. Disgusting. You and your drunk dad, your dad drunk on gin, taking you to Derweiner Schnitzel. No. First of all, my dad drank cheap whiskey,
Starting point is 00:27:39 and secondly, he would take me to Taco Bell. And why did he take me to Taco Bell, Gareth? Because Matuci's was next door and he could go in and drink while I me to Taco Bell. And why did he take me to Taco Bell, Gareth? Because Matuches was next door and he could go in and drink while I went to Taco Bell. It's called being a parent. How many drinks can he drink during a Taco Bell order? Well, he'd stay in there for two hours. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Then I'd go to another burrito. Yeah, this is my fourth meal there today. In 1981, Albert was managing a Del Taco in Carson. Well, he really was real about this. He really this was a path. A young boy fell in love with fast food. What are you going to do? They don't have burgers, though. So an El Pollo Loco franchise opened up across the street, and it's the first El Pollo Loco that Albert has ever seen.
Starting point is 00:28:26 And customers were lining up around the block two hours before the restaurant opened. There's so many indicators for why this country should have been nuked. And this is a mine. It reminds Albert of when he was 10 years old and the first McDonald's in Wilmington opened and there were lines that night for the McDonald's. He brings back his childhood.
Starting point is 00:28:56 This is one of those wonderful, wonderful moments. Friend of show, Dill, has that story about when the first McDonald's opened in Sri Lanka and his parents allowed him the day off of school and he was fifth when the first McDonald's opened in Sri Lanka, and his parents allowed him the day off of school. And he was fifth in line for McDonald's. And he went up and he ordered like a Big Mac and nuggets sat down. And then so the line was like two and a half hours after that. He ate it and then got to the end of the line to go get another meal there. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, do I have a weight problem later on? And that's where it started. But now he's better. Yeah, he's much better. Now he's just fat on the inside.
Starting point is 00:29:35 That's right. El Pollo Loco was founded in Sonola, Mexico and sold Mexican-style grilled chicken. Its first US franchise was in MacArthur Park, Los Angeles. And in 1983, Denny's bought El Pollo Loco, changed the recipe, raised the prices and expanded so quickly they almost bankrupted the company. And then they sold it to a private equity firm. So that's the American dream right there. What we just. Horrible. That is so.
Starting point is 00:30:02 The thing that El Pollo used El look. I used to be good. Yeah. Well, Dave, if I'm being honest, when I first moved here, boy, did I love El Pollo Loco. So did I. I mean, so you know what? El Pollo Loco. The quality was much better back then. It's horrendous.
Starting point is 00:30:19 I have not been anywhere near one in 15 years. It's really, it's really tough. But years ago, 20 years ago, whatever. It was amazing. It was really good. And it was cheap. And if you got the receipt, you could go online and take a quick survey and then you get a dollar off your next order. And I did that every time.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I was never that sad. Yeah, I've been pathetic for a long time. Albert was inspired by the success of El Pollo Loco, and he's also a fan of Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich and Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People. And of course, Ray Kroc's book his 1977 autobiography, grinding it out. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:31:08 So he's just reading books about rich guys and wanting to be rich. That's the- Sure, rich men riching. Yeah. Yep. So he watches the movie- JP Morgan's book.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Fuck everyone. So he watches the movie Patton, and he starts to think pretty strongly at that point that every man has a destiny. Patton's destiny had been to be a great general. Ray Croc's destiny hamburger. The McDonald's. Yes. So Albert starts to think that maybe his destiny is to sell more chicken than any human being
Starting point is 00:31:49 in the world. Man, it's just what an off kilter dream. Makes sense, right? No, no, not at all. That that would be total sense. Nope. Absolutely not. Not at all.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Like, how about we're on the same page? No, we're not. How about like, helping like solving world hunger or I don't know, like, I don't know, making equal rights for everybody or stop me or Stopping war. Don't get meat out fast Fast meat. I need to kill more chickens than any man before me So Albert starts to make plans to create his own chain of grilled chicken restaurants targeting Latino customers and
Starting point is 00:32:43 develop a cult following in Southern California, just like El Pueblo had I'm trying to think what the hell this could be. Well now, he's not Latino, Gareth. He's an Asian fellow. He doesn't speak Spanish, and he didn't really eat chicken. He was more of a burger guy. Yep, obsessed with hamburgers. So he talks to his girlfriend's sister's husband.
Starting point is 00:33:09 You're a chicken guy. Armando Parra. And Armando is from Chihuahua, Mexico. Right. No, I think I said that in correctly. Chihuahua. OK, absolutely. And he told Albert that the rotisserie chicken was more common than grilled because grills took up too much space. Hmm. And Albert agreed that their new venture should be rotisserie chicken. He's like, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:33:47 We won't grow a rotisserie this shit. So for the name, they came up with Juan Pollo, which Albert thought sounded noble when spoken. Right. It's also Juan Chicken. Well, no, it's like P. F. Chang's how that stands for Paul Fleming. Chang's. Yeah, it's yes. Except this is this is John Chicken. So but John. How are you? Good. Thank you. The story of chicken. John Chicken. So Armando's brother Fernando designed a mascot for them, which was a cartoon chicken wearing a sombrero.
Starting point is 00:34:31 So they're killing it right now. They're hitting all the everything's getting hit out of the park. Robert Smigel did that hilarious fake chicken commercial where it's like the chicken keeps talking about how good he tastes. It's always weird when the spokesman is the thing you're eating.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Mm-hmm. Like when the chicken is like, come on in here. My brethren are being genocided. Yeah, like Ronald McDonald. No, no. I'm in the burgers! This is made from 100% clown meat. So he looks for investors.
Starting point is 00:35:06 His first investors were Uncle George Kamatsu and his son Robert Kamatsu. George is a distant relative who owns a strip mall in Ontario, California. Now, Albert had been to Ontario once and it was over 100 degrees and he got lost in a sandstorm. That's good. That's great. Yeah. But George was willing to invest because if the restaurant failed in the strip mall, well then it could be a tax write off. So it works. Oh, I didn't even realize how any of that worked. Okay. Yep. So Albert had a lot of respect for George's ability to avoid paying taxes, and he called him the human computer.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Sure. Absolutely. So Albert moved Ontario and he lived in a trailer park behind the restaurant as the human computer is is like maybe the human computer isn't so awesome. So not not a trailer park in a trailer parked behind. Oh, okay. Trailer out back. Sure. That's really.
Starting point is 00:36:18 By the way, we're we're pretty close to doing that. Pretty close. This is. Yeah. You and I specifically, I mean. Yes. Yes. So Albert buys a rotisserie oven and Armando created a marinade and the Juan Pollo restaurant opened in January 18th, 1894. 1894. That would be amazing if that's sorry. 1984. I think that'd be great back then. This chicken is unfucking believable.
Starting point is 00:36:52 My trailer. Whoa. What the fuck? This is unbelievable. But that's all all chicken was for history chicken back then. Unless you boiled it. I can't even imagine the quality. I can't even imagine.
Starting point is 00:37:07 They would just be like, take off the feathers. What are you? So those are the best part. So at first he makes too big of a menu. A lot of sides like french fries and jello. Yeah, it's I like, just a better side. I'm just trying to six piece and large ba ba ba jello.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I'm looking to what I'm going to declare a civil war inside of myself a little bit. What flavor? I'll do orange jello, please. I really I'm going through a pretty bad divorce. You know what? Let me do you guys do just skin. Could I just get a bag of chicken skin and then a bunch of orange jello?
Starting point is 00:37:57 I'm going to go to the car and take my own life. Special we have a special parking lot over there for life takers. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's perfect. Oh, I can see. Yeah, that looks like a cemetery. That'll be great. What's interesting is everybody who does that orders the jello first. Well, jealous must. I mean, it's just it's just it's you could really get it down you with a lifeless chew. That's what I love about Jello. Like if you don't want to chew Jello, just keep your mouth shut. It'll liquefy and do its own business, right? That's right.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Oh, so I have to put on my face. OK, I don't need to know anymore, actually. Yeah. Thanks. I'm going to pretend to be a severely dehydrated man. Okay. And then I'll go to the car. Well, our chicken's very moist. So Wow. After a few months, he scales down the menu and he just starts selling the top selling items, just like the McDonald's brothers did, right? He cooked thousands of chickens to perfect his rotisserie method. And Juan Pollo starts getting really great reviews in the local press. And they built up a loyal customer
Starting point is 00:39:17 base and they expanded to more locations in the internet. I love the local press being like, wow, this fast food place is really good. I mean, that's what it used to be. It's really weird. But I mean, it was a better quality of food, obviously. It was the chicken. All of our food tasted better back then. In 1991, Albert wrote and copyrighted what he called his legal. He called it his legal pyramid scheme. Absolutely. A key part of that is that word legal. Yes. Because that helps you a lot in court.
Starting point is 00:39:54 So it goes like this. The more chicken I sell, the fresher the product. The fresher the product, the better the quality. The better the quality, the more people talk about us. The more people that talk about us, the more people find out about us. The more people that find out about us, the bigger our customer base, the bigger our customer base, the more our sales, the more our sales, the fresher product, etc. So what he's going for is he's basically saying, I'll be really good at this and that'll
Starting point is 00:40:20 help as opposed to now. And they're like, how do we fuck everyone and still had a we shit? How do we how do we fuck everyone so hard and we still make everything and they get shit? How can we put the cheapest worst food in these fucking idiots? Mouth for the most money. Bare minimum standard that we can put in these fucking slaves. And then when they get sick, it's not our fault. That's right.
Starting point is 00:40:48 So pyramid scheme is fraud, right? You bring in investors and you defraud everybody. Right. But Albert's legal pyramid scheme is not actually a pyramid scheme, but he arranged the text in the shape of a triangle anyway. Sure. I don't know why he's like so like, like there's a really great way to do this with arrows connecting to each other as like,
Starting point is 00:41:12 it's a, it's an evolution. It's a, it's, it's just the passage of time, how this affects each other positively. But he's like, no, I want to show that it, look, I want to get all that pyramid scheme clout without all that nasty ripping off. So he comes up and write with and writes a 50 year business plan. Wow. And outlines the plans for one. Chicken.
Starting point is 00:41:41 You have lots of plants for one point. It was growth decade by decade from 1991 through 20, 50, 51. He'd be 100 years old at that point. So we did all up until he's 100. Sure. Now, a key is for him. A key of his part of his business plan is for him to become the recognized spokesman, like on par with Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders, sure. The ultimate is Colonel Sanders.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Yeah, I'm in the chicken. Dollop is brought to you by Helix Sleep. So I'm using a sleep watch. I'm not a sleep watch. I have an Apple watch, but it registers your sleep. And I sleep awesome on this Helix mattress. I sleep like a baby or an adult. I sleep like all forms of human.
Starting point is 00:42:38 You know what I sleep like a cat. That's more like what I sleep like. I sleep like a cat on a on a thing. Sure. And it's great. I what I sleep like. I sleep like a cat on a thing. Sure. And it's great. I get great sleep now. It's the best. My previous mattress gave me like a little backache. It was like too soft or something.
Starting point is 00:42:53 I don't know, but this one, and also my old mattress got hot and this one I just don't feel hot on it. You don't look hot on it. Thank you. There really are people who like will ask me genuinely be like, do you really like Helix? I'm like, it is. Yeah. Greatest bed.
Starting point is 00:43:10 It really is. We get asked all the time. I go, yes, I, I genuinely really like my Helix. Yes. We had a previous company that wasn't as good. Well, we don't need to bring in a long, long time ago. And he looks eclipsed and people also are like, it comes in a box. You're like this. Yes. I don't know when they perfected mattress box technology.
Starting point is 00:43:34 It's crazy. Real good. And my son liked it so much. We we got him one. I mean, got him one. We gave him ours and then we got the new one. I mean, that's how that works. But yeah, I mean, so we're a Helix family and the dogs like it too, so take that. So what we're saying is,
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Starting point is 00:44:44 Yes, Dave. Our people. We're also brought to you the dollop by Squarespace. Yes. Oh Dave, our people. Squarespace, of course, we've been working with Squarespace forever. We love Squarespace. We have all of our websites with Squarespace. Every website we're involved with.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Every website we're involved with. Probably our busiest website is Gareth's. Two that we're off the record involved with, that we don't even want to tell people about at Squarespace. Yeah, we have secret websites. We have two secret websites. Go try to figure out what they are, people.
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Starting point is 00:48:59 and important safety information. By the 2010s, Albert wrote he should, quote, become recognized as figurehead and founder of the company, need to start becoming larger than life. I like the idea that that is a like a 25 year, 30 year plan for him. He's not able to pull that off in five years, 10 years. Now I unveil who I really am. In the 2020s, quote, In order to maintain control of one Pollo and stay in power to accomplish my goals, I need to become
Starting point is 00:49:35 so closely identified with the company that we become synonymous, similar to Walt Disney and Disneyland. At this point, it'll be difficult because I'll be wrapped up in that whole Epstein thing. But I think Trump will win the 2020 election. And if he does it, it will have been stolen from him. And 2030, I become president of the world. 2030, I become the president. By 2050, at 99 years old, he would, quote, become
Starting point is 00:50:03 the number one seller of chicken in the world. It's just such a dumb. It makes sense. Think about it. This is sort of stupid. And when I'm 150 made, I will become part chicken man. So he sets it in motion and Juan Pollo became a Southern California chain. And it's expanding through franchises that are mostly owned by employees who had started entry level positions. And he creates a profitable restaurant supply company and he expands it to catering. He and his wife have kids With each kid his wife's family consults an Indonesian religious seer for predictions about the
Starting point is 00:50:50 Child's destiny as you best job in the world the best job in the world Yeah, I mean like that like lowest stakes like he's gonna become a figure skater Can I ask you a question does he enjoy hamburgers? Yeah, yeah, his kid loves hamburgers. I see. And he's going to become a... Okay, go ahead. I'm seeing hamburgers and I'm seeing a crown.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Like a hamburger king. I'm the guy who's seeing it. Oh. So, yeah, what are you... Well, I said, because I asked you, if I'm not the seer, why would I ask you a question about him? Like, does he enjoy hamburgers? That would be something the seer would ask.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Not necessarily. That seems like something a father who's got a burger obsession would ask. Why would what? All right, look, it's pretty obvious what's going on here. This kid doesn't have a dad. We're just two kids being raised by two. There's two. They raise by two fake Indonesian.
Starting point is 00:51:53 I think we both know the truth there. This kid's super sick. He's not going to make very long. So Albert interprets one Sears prediction about his second son to mean the boy was destined to oversee a one-pile operations in overseas markets, which is part of the 50 year plan to expand worldwide. What a nightmare to be like growing up in the shadow of your dad being like, you are going to be in charge of our Middle Eastern one
Starting point is 00:52:25 boy. Oh, Locos. And I want to go there. No, you like it. It'll be better than you. Don't speak Syrian. You'll go there and we'll be great. How's your Farsi coming, boy? How's your Farsi coming, boy? So he he starts putting money into publicity.
Starting point is 00:52:55 And then one day this guy, Jack Marcus, comes into the San Bernadino one poyo and he tells Albert that he wants to make a series of one poyo pogs. Well, we really are in a rare time. It now you Dave, are you seriously not going to tell people what pogs are? And why don't you explain? I am Albert doesn't know it. Albert doesn't know. OK, OK.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Well, they're a little they're a little round. I mean, how do you describe it? It's like a little like the dumbest. I don't know. It's like, I mean, so when you're when this is explained to you, if you don't know what it is, you're going to be like, why was this a thing? And nobody has the answer to that question. Now, they basically look like casino chips of like popular things. And you get like a Pog of like, Al for a Pog of whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:53:44 People would do it for a promotion. And I'll tell you what, it made more sense than an NFT. Oh, I made a lot of money off NFTs. I know you have. I mean, I haven't checked the numbers lately, but when I when I sunk the family fortunes that talk off air, because I think it might be time for you to dip back into some of those and have a little game.
Starting point is 00:54:07 I mean, the one I bought for 250,000 has got to be worth like five million by now. So he doesn't really explain it. He just says they're going to become a craze, a big thing in Southern California. I'd love chicken pogs. Let's get involved. So Jack designs the pogs. That's great. Cartoon, original cartoon characters. They're so successful that Albert made Jack the marketing director for Juan Pollo.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Wow. Just some guy. I looked at him and I was like, see them make a chicken pog. Right. So Jack and Albert developed other marketing things like the power Pollo Rangers and the Pollo man like Pokemon Pollo man. That's so eventually they came up with the annual Miss one Pollo beauty pageant. Oh, sweet God. Are you ready to see these chicken tits? Oh, sweet God. Are you ready to see these chicken tits? Yeah. I'm trying to find a Juan Pollo Pog.
Starting point is 00:55:10 And then the Miss Teen Juan Pollo Beauty Pageant. I'm excited to meet all the contestants. I'm going backstage at the chicken pageant. You can't find them. I found them immediately. Is that some sort of I only use AI and it's just showing me a chicken reassuring me. These are the pogs. How interesting.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Now they aren't coming up. Well, well, well, not so hot. But I found them yesterday. I might not have used Google. That might have been what it was. I might have used something that actually works. I'm not sure what your problem is. Is anybody using Google anymore? I am. I'm hanging in there.
Starting point is 00:55:55 I'm not using the AI part, but I'm still using it. You're still using Google? What are you using? Yeah. I use Brave or I use Dr. Goh, but I like brave. Brave seems pretty good. I do a lot of Pornhub search engine stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Nothing's coming up with the one. What are we doing? But I am saying huge don't. I saw one point. Oh, I got the non. Yeah, this is good. This is good. This is good radio right here. Yeah. Well, I got the Nong. Yeah. Well, this is good. This is good. This is good radio right here. Yeah. Well, we're not doing radio. Just Pogboy.
Starting point is 00:56:35 So so they got the poyom and like the Pokemon. And they got the beauty pageants. And then they came up with the one poyo chicks, and they got the beauty pageants. And then they came up with the one Pollo chicks, which were an all female promo team that wore miniskirts and would go to local events. I love how like this is genius shit. It's just like, you know, we'll go.
Starting point is 00:56:59 We'll have women pretty naked go places. I think the men might respond to that. It's like, yeah, no, it's way to go. Genie. It's literally what took 10 years for you to just be like, yeah. It's like the guy is like, it's great that like Hooters is failing now because it feels like finally people are like, that's pretty weird. But there were like so many ripoffs of it and they were like, like the guy was like, I came up, I call it twin peaks.
Starting point is 00:57:29 It's a bar. And you can see down women's shirts when they were there. It was like, wow, way to go. Where do you come up with this? Yeah, this is like all bar stuff, everything they've said. So the Inland Empire, it's car country, right? So there's always a car show or a car parade happening. So Albert made sure to get at least one Juan Pollo vehicle in every single parade.
Starting point is 00:58:01 It's usually a truck plastered with Juan Pollo decals. And occasionally they put Albert's cell phone number on there And of course miss one miss Juan Pollo would ride in one of the parade cars sure and Albert Albert then buys the yacht car that was in the Gallagher movie huh, I Don't know what that is. I didn't know there was a Gallagher movie, but there's a yacht car from the Gallagher movie and you've I haven't looked that up and he bought a car from the Gallagher movie So this becomes like a legendary presence at car parades in the Inland Empire
Starting point is 00:58:41 Those things are the yacht cars always gonna be there Albert bought four eight foot tall used Warner Brothers cartoon character statues. Of I think I'm seeing it. It is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. The yacht car. Well, it's because it's a it's a Gallagher joke made. It's like a stupid thing. Right.
Starting point is 00:59:08 And he's like, it's like something. So what did he buy from Warner Brothers? Sorry, I was in Gallagher yacht car mode. Used cartoon character statues, eight feet tall. The Tasmanian devil Sylvester, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. And he put them on parade vehicles. And this work. Why don't you? Why can't you? How?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Why aren't you seeing the vision? Because it just seems like if a five year old had limitless money in a restaurant. OK. Yeah, admit that's a pretty fair indictment on what's happening right now. It's a huge hit, Reynolds, because we're so dumb because everyone's a fucking boy because I just tried to check into a Hampton Inn. And while the woman was looking at my California driver's license, she kept asking me if the address was America. One boy's reputation grows.
Starting point is 01:00:00 It's so becoming legendary in the island empire. Did this chicken until he put a cartoon character on a car. This guy's the real deal. In 1998, the site of the original McDonald's barbecue in San Bernardino went up for sale in foreclosure. Now, the restaurant's gone. It's been gone for a while. It's been replaced with an office building.
Starting point is 01:00:28 But Albert buys it and turns it into one Pollo corporate headquarters. And carters. And a McDonald's history museum. Oh my God. It's free. It's free to go. And there's historic photos and new clippings and old menus.
Starting point is 01:00:52 A lot of Happy Meal collections, other promotional stuff. It's really great. Really dumb. And there's a big headshot of Albert. And outside there's a big hamburger, hamburger in a cage. It was brutal what I stood to him.
Starting point is 01:01:13 So McDonald's lawyers are not happy. Oh, this is a non sanctioned McDonald's museum. Yeah, it's a free it's a wildfire museum. Welcome to my Tom Cruise Museum. Because I can. Well, the other problem with this is that McDonald's already has McDonald's History Museum in Illinois. I was going to say there's the original Rock and Roll McDonald's
Starting point is 01:01:42 over to the fuck it's called back there. So Albert is. Told he's forbidden from profiting from the name, and he's like, yeah, it's free. So that's fine. And then they also said he has to stop calling it the McDonald's museum. And he he can. They tell him to call it the historic site of the original McDonald's restaurant. Wordy.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Can't tell a guy who put a tweety bird on a car and is doing well that this is not OK. You get it. You can't tell him anything. No, you can't stop this guy. Well, Albert compromises. And he calls it the historic site of the original McDonald's museum, which is what they told me. So they made him remove a link. On the one poyo website to the museum website.
Starting point is 01:02:38 And McDonald's corporate history does not acknowledge Albert's collection or the San Bernardino Hill or the San Bernardino site. I don't I don't know who's stupider. The guy who's just opening the McDonald's museum that nobody asked for or the company is not just like, let him do it. It's not it's not like it's not not it's not there. We're as far as we're concerned, it doesn't exist. It's not real. OK. I would just put in the I want to not not there. We're as far as we're concerned, it doesn't exist. It's not real. OK.
Starting point is 01:03:06 I would just put in the I want to go in there. If you want to learn the real history of what? One go in there. You're not going to have all your McDonald's facts straight. Hey, I hope you like McDonald's misinformation, because that's what you're walking into. Excuse me? I don't know. You want the real deal? Go make a little trip to Illinois. That's where you're going to find a bunch of stuff that actually is going to inform you as far as McDonald's goes.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Are you just standing out in front of this museum in a church coat telling people stuff? Free country. Do whatever you like. But I'm just telling you, you'd be better off just getting your McDonald's information from a nobody which is basically what you're about to walk into I'm just taking the kids to see the old happy meal stuff. Like I don't care about I hope the kids like a little how are you kids doing? I hope you like a little misinformation meal cuz that's what you're about to get rammed on your goddamn throats What are you doing right now? You guys are about to walk into a McDonald's house of lies. What if I told you I could show you the real Ronald McDonald?
Starting point is 01:04:17 And that he's really sick. Okay, where is he? Is he around here? He's really sick. Two hour drive, I could take you and the kids out to the middle of the desert and show you the real Ronald McDonald. So I need you to get instead of a waste instead of wasting everybody's afternoon inside of a fabrication McDonald's layer. I came here to get some chicken.
Starting point is 01:04:40 I saw the car. Could you get away from our kids? And just why don't you get out of here? Do you have a car? No, we walk. I saw you drive. OK, we drove. So you have a car. Yeah, I need you to get away from me. Well, if you look, well, it seems like you like lions.
Starting point is 01:04:57 So maybe you go inside there. Go inside there. You're going to see a bunch of menus without the McDonald's logo. You know why? Because McDonald's has asked this place to not exist. Do you want to see Donald McDonald? If you want to see Ronald McDonald, do you work for McDonald's? I'm a friend of the family. Now, if you want to meet the real Ronald McDonald, just get me in, get me in your car. And we're two hours away. You can go meet him. And he is super sick.
Starting point is 01:05:27 He is very sick. Your life is fucking pathetic. I'm just trying to take down what is a house of misinformation. Did you hear- We're a Jack. We are a Jack in the Box family. Did you hear what I said to you? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:43 I can get you to Ronald McDonald in two hours and he's I don't give a fuck. He needs help. Good. He needs a new heart. If you must know. That's fine. Let him die. What if I told you fucking weird? OK. I'm either not going to let you go in there or I'm going in there with you. Period. I have a handgun. Here it is.
Starting point is 01:06:14 So. So. So they're not acknowledging whatever. It's just weird. But sure, they don't make them. They don't force him to shut it down. I think that would have brought more publicity. So in an interview, Albert said, quote, I feel it is my destiny to own this property. Buddy, I don't think you know what destiny is.
Starting point is 01:06:39 I think it's meant for loftier ambition. So there's a town, a roadside town in the Mojave Desert called Amboy. It's three hours east of Los Angeles. It was a mining camp in 1858. In 1883, the Southern Pacific Railroad bought it to turn it into a water stop for trains. In 19... It's 1939, Herman Buster Burris moved
Starting point is 01:07:10 to Amboy with his wife and in-laws, thinking his in-laws Roy Crowell, and they hoped it would become a boom town. That's why they moved there, and it did. The next year it did. A mill was built to process gypsum and salt. The population exploded to 600, and it did. The next year it did. A mill was built to process gypsum and salt. The population exploded to 600 and it's on Route 66. So drivers are stopping there all the time. Sure.
Starting point is 01:07:33 It has church, a post office, a school, an airplane hanger, water came by rail. At Buston Roy built a garage and a diner and a 30 room motel. They sold tires and gas and milkshakes. Business is booming. But in 1972, Interstate 40 was built 10 miles north, just killing Route 66. No longer the primary east-west highway through the US. Road and traffic just plummets. through the US. Road and traffic just plummets. And in 1980, the population is down to 150 people. 10 years later, it's down to 24. It's a sad 24. But now Route 66 tourists are coming, like people who love the old route and want to, yeah, that whole thing. And they're keeping the bus. People still are into it. Yeah, they're keeping Buster's business alive.
Starting point is 01:08:27 It's kicking long. Diner's downgraded to a convenience store. After 50 years, Buster decides he's gonna put the town up for sale. Jesus Christ. For 90 acres, gas station, motel, din diner, hanger, water towers, everything for 2.5 million. Now you just want to sell it to just anyone, Garrett, because it's a wonderful. Amboy is a wonderful town.
Starting point is 01:08:56 Sure. And he wants someone that's not going to tear down the motel and the diner. Keep the spirit of Route 66 and Amboy alive. It's not even a diner die anymore as you've acknowledged. But OK, you stop it right now. I'm just saying Buster Buster quote, if I was 20 years younger, I wouldn't sell under no condition, but I can't get people to do things. The younger generation doesn't want to work.
Starting point is 01:09:23 They're not reliable. I love that. That that argument that just is always there. The younger generation doesn't want to work. They're not reliable. I love that. That that argument that just is always there. Always young people hate working. They hate it like Gen Z. People are just like they they say we don't want to work. And it's like they call they literally called us slackers.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Our entire generation, they call us slackers. Well, and I also like if you were Gen Z, wouldn't you just be like, you know, it's like there's like nothing good. There's no reason. There's no reason to work point. Yeah. Don't you want to get a good job and retire, buddy? I'm going to be fighting marauders. Don't you want to use your car to drive strangers around so that you can get sick and not have
Starting point is 01:10:08 health care and then you won't even have enough to afford a place to live? Come on. And then if you do it burns down. And then nobody will take care of you because you didn't support Israel. So Buster found a buyer, but the new owners, they got foreclosed on really quickly. So Buster dies and then his widow puts it back on sale. Same terms in 2003. And boy was then one of three towns listed on eBay as a promotional campaign for the website. What a weird. World.
Starting point is 01:10:49 I'm going to go buy a boy on eBay. Well, I just bought a body. Of course, he did. Of course, Albert bought it for four hundred and twenty five thousand dollars cash. Sure. Others offered more money, but Albert promised Bessie he would restore and reopen the motel cafe. And that was enough. Right. Albert quote.
Starting point is 01:11:15 I believe my destiny involves that town. It's hard to explain. How many people because it makes no sense. I could say they own a town. It isn't you idiot. Everything that I think I want to do is destiny. Everything I do. I was meant to do. My son will be running my franchise is in the Middle East.
Starting point is 01:11:43 He spent at least $ million dollars restoring Amboy. Oh, my God. He had to redo the electric water and septic systems. He reopened the gas station. He restored the lobby of the Motel and Cafe. So funny to just be like, when he buys it, that he's like, wait, what? Yeah, the whole septic system is totally screwed. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:12:07 So that's going to be like one point two million dollars. Otherwise, your town's going to be covered in poop. Do you think this was in his pyramid scheme plan thing? No, it is destiny. We're way off. It's really weird. Of course. Not sure what's happening anymore, to be quite honest with you. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to own an old ghost desert town.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Yes. Does that make sense? Absolutely, Albert. This is your destiny. I keep hearing that voice in the back of my head. I just keep saying, yes. Yeah. Every time I'm. Yes. This is your destiny, Albert. Everything you do is right.
Starting point is 01:12:46 Now, where are those jars with your pee? Oh, I've been saving them. Good boy, Albert. They're in the bunker, as you requested. You're a good boy. I wish you would stop saying that, though. You're a good little boy. Please wish you would stop saying that, though. Good little boy. Please, God, stop saying that.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Your daddy's little baby. In 2014, he self-published an autobiography, Albert Okura, the chicken man with the 50 year plan. Kura, the chicken man with the 50 year plan. It includes his legal pyramid scheme and pictures of Miss Pollo, Miss Teen, one Pollo and Miss M. Boy winners. Yes, there's now Miss M. Boy. That is correct. Around 2018, Daredevil and stuntman Mad Mike Hughes was launching a homemade rocket in
Starting point is 01:13:47 the desert, but he needs a launching pad and he needs sponsors because that's expensive to launch a rocket. You can't just. Well, now you can actually, but go ahead. He's an ex dirt bike racer and race car mechanic and he had set a Guinness World Record in 2002 for the longest limousine ramp jump. Uh huh. Just how limousines, by the way, how they do it. No, that's too. That's I know. But that's 2002. It's very easy.
Starting point is 01:14:19 That's like if they had a waterbed in the back, they'd be like the 80s in one action. Guess how far he jumped it. It's a stretch limo. Fucking 10 feet. 103. That's pretty far. It's a little stretch limo.
Starting point is 01:14:42 He was Mike is obsessed with publicity because he wants to be as famous as evil Knievel sure Oh, I actually think I know who this guy is. I Genuinely know who this is. Okay So sometimes he would say the earth is flat and he was going up in a rocket to prove it was flat Other times he said that his believe in Quote flat earth has nothing to do with steam rocket launches. It never did. It never will. I'm a daredevil.
Starting point is 01:15:11 His PR guy later said he just said that to get PR, but whatever. Mike and his friend, former daredevil Waldo Stakes, worked for years building a rocket in Waldo's garage that could take Mike into space. So the plan is to attach a huge helium balloon to a steam powered rocket called a raccoon. Go ahead, proceed. I'll stop you if something's striking me as odd.
Starting point is 01:15:46 And the blue would take Mike 20 miles into the air and then he'd ignite the rocket. Oh, so he self ignites the rocket once he's up there, I'm guessing by fuse. That would take him another 40 miles across the Karman boundary into space. So we're hearing a plan for death. No, you're hearing a plan for boundary into space. So we're hearing a plan for death No, you're having a plan for going into space, right? Okay, and Once it peaked and started coming down Mike would inflate another helium balloon slash parachute thing called the Balut Names are and he float down to earth Yep, where he would die because that's probably not going to work.
Starting point is 01:16:32 No. Then he gets just sponsors and contracts and money. And he's famous. This man is about to die. No. Yep. They need about three million dollars to do this. Yeah. Well, when I heard the scientific method they were using, I thought price tag should be pretty large on this one. Yeah. Well, when I heard the scientific method they were using, I thought price tags should be pretty large on this one. Yeah. So they raised it from sponsors who would get advertisements on the rocket. They should have just started to go kill me like a NASCAR. Right. Yeah, of course. That's a rocket. Yeah. Because he goes going up into space, people see it and then as it floats back down, they see it again.
Starting point is 01:17:09 Right. Twice the punch. And again, it's called the Raccoon. The Raccoon. Yep. Absolutely. And they raised, they did raise money from sponsors. Sponsors came to advertise on the rocket. One sponsored was a dating app HUD, H-U-D. And on the side of the rocket was supposed to say dating isn't rocket science. Right. So they're looking for a big, big portion of it. By the way, HUD sounds like the it doesn't sound like a dating app.
Starting point is 01:17:43 It sounds like the discharge that comes from an STD. So that's good for that. You think it should. That's another sponsor was an inland empire window tinting service. That's right. And another was Juan Pollo. Like that, he's getting his he saw the tinting business. He was like, we better move. This thing's really taken off.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Part of the pun. Mike and Waldo did a test launch in 2018. It didn't go well. Really? And Mike, Mike ended up with a spinal injury. Oh, that Mike was on it for the test launch. He did it. I would say just do the launch if you're going to do that.
Starting point is 01:18:34 What's the point in testing it? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. Wow. You know, you do it with a dummy. That might have messed up. But OK, it's a he's a man. He's not a coward. You know what I mean? Right.
Starting point is 01:18:46 Yeah, for sure. So he has a spinal injury from his launch. I think when we sent men into space, there were no tests, anything. We just put a man right in. Now, we put a chip in. But a guy right in. No. Uh, and 2019, they did a second launch, this time from Amboy, because. Oh, right. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Albert's Albert's there to watch. Sure. This one, though, you're right. It was unmanned. Let's just see what it can do. Good. It's essentially they're just doing this one for publicity for the next launch. Right. To kind of drum up. And that one will happen soon. Right. That one, Michael, be in and he'll be right. He'll die. launch. Right. To kind of drum up and that one will happen soon. Right. That one,
Starting point is 01:19:25 Michael, be in and he'll be right. He'll die. Yep. Right. Unfortunately, the second launch did fail. It didn't go well, but it did lead to more publicity. Right. And more money. Train wreck. Oh, yeah, I definitely. Yep. Yeah, like maybe a cas it service could put their name on the side or maybe a cremation business or something like that. Or a balloon company or like a landing, like landing soft, like a mattress. The balloon company that they don't use, you know, and you can be like, our balloons actually work. A mattress company for when you land like softly.
Starting point is 01:20:01 No therapy. Yeah. Tons of stuff could go on there that I think would make a ton of sense. Well, a will notary. A science channel reality show came on called homemade astronauts. So now they now they're filming this. Absolutely. So it's all it's all this is going as this is legitimately a good idea that it's happening Yes, so the third launch was outside of barstow on February 22nd 2020 now is Mike a part of this one? Yes, the reality shows filming and so mad Mike is a part of it and
Starting point is 01:20:40 The rocket goes up. He goes up in his fucking homemade rocket And then he comes down in his homemade rocket and he dies. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. Really shocking that crazy that that didn't work out. I'm fucking floored. Obviously, that's crazy. So can I ask you this?
Starting point is 01:20:56 What did he die from? I don't know. I think maybe COVID. It seems like. Yeah. Wow. So crazy that this plan didn't work. Yeah. Gosh, I could only imagine that Albert would... I wonder how he felt about this whole thing. Because he basically paid to have a man killed. Well, we don't know if Robert was there. There's no for sure confirmation that he was there,
Starting point is 01:21:27 but there were a lot of reporters and Albert did put money in. So he's probably there, but we don't know. Right. The rocket and Mad Moog's jumpsuit, just like a NASCAR team, displayed the names of his sponsors, which included Juan Pollo. So he's probably there. Yeah. Now, Albert's father, Tiochi, lived to be 100.
Starting point is 01:21:51 Great. So this is perfect for Albert's plan in his destiny chart. Did it show that Mad Mike was going to die from a rocket that he took a balloon to try with? It didn't actually. Interesting. Yeah. 100 year Tiochi came to work with it. It didn't actually. Interesting. Yeah. 100 year till she came to work with Albert regularly until he was 99 years old. Great. So you can see where he got to be an idiot. Why don't what do you people stop working as early as you can? The whole game is to not work.
Starting point is 01:22:25 That's what you should be doing with life, the less you can work. Well, this is a conversation for 30 years ago, but the whole point of this should be that you go, at this age, I don't have to do it again. I believe the generation before us, or two before us called it retirement. And it was like this whole point of everything.
Starting point is 01:22:48 It's like when people look down on sex workers and you're like, that sex worker is making more in a day than you make in a week in a factory working an hour. Like, what are you? Who's winning there? No, it really is. Again, I mean, it's down to Grubhub or OnlyFans you pick. So, uh, so Albert does not take a day off work for 40 years. See this, but this to what you're sort of alluding to is what's so stupid. It's like this is the American dream of like, yes, look at him. He just did so good for so long. And it's sad and it's ridiculous. It's like you're in a money
Starting point is 01:23:28 cult. You idiot. He Yes, he worked on holidays. He worked on his kids birthdays. He worked every day. He was a delinquent father. In January 2023, he got sick with what he thought was a stomach bug. Now it's January 2023, so that's most probably covid. That's when maybe it could be Nora. That was a big spike stuff cooking.
Starting point is 01:23:54 By the time he went to the hospital, he had sepsis and he died a few days later. It's 71. Well, Juan Pueyo still has 20. Juan Pueyo still has 23 locations in Southern, California, but it's not expanded to any other countries. I've never heard of it until this I've never heard of it. No, I've never heard of it now Albert's son Kyle became the owner slash mayor of Amboy and Social media upped Amboy as a tourist destination. So Europeans going to national parks are the most frequent visitors to Amboy.
Starting point is 01:24:32 This is what they call their best chicken. Olivia Rodrigo filmed a music video there. Wow. Kyle plans to restore the motel and is in talks to have a portion of Route 66 renamed the Albert O'Kara Memorial Highway. And recently he unveiled a 15 foot tall sign portraying Albert O'Kara with the text Restoring Amboy Was My Destiny.
Starting point is 01:25:04 If Carl, if Kyle, 1951, 2023, and he's wearing a Roy's Motel Cafe, Route 66. And holy shit, is it a big sign? Gareth, if Kyle has a daughter, he plans to name her destiny. Well, I would name my son, Mad Mike. Yeah, I'm just checking it all out right now. It's really quite stupid. And yeah, but it's also it really is. It really is also so America.
Starting point is 01:25:47 It's so perfect. It is the most American American thing of all. Yeah, we are just I actually think Kyle's all over the social media to be quite honest with you. Is he there? Yep. There February 14th. Juan Pollo post comes.
Starting point is 01:26:03 It's a him and a woman feeding each other drumsticks like Lunatics and come celebrate Valentine's Day with your special someone at Juan Pollo It's really not come celebrate Valentine's Day. It's come serve your future ex with papers at Juan Pollo Well, what a what a what a strange little Story and What a strange little story. And I have to say, if you go on their social media, it feels like they don't really know how memes work. Seriously, it's that bad? It should be.
Starting point is 01:26:38 It's pretty bad. It should be awesome. Like they've had enough time. I gotta say it's... Oh, here's a... It's just a Feliz Navidad. Yeah, bring Juan Pollo home for everyone on Christmas. Yeah, coleslaw looks good.
Starting point is 01:27:05 The research is done by a Sarah Shabsy sources, Albert O'Curr, the chicken man with the 50 year plan by Albert O'Curr, fast food nation by Eric Slauser, Slauser, LA Times, New York Times, Orange County Register, the once I'd, it's a picture of Obama giving Obama the Congressional Medal of Freedom. And it says ordering one Pollo instead of cooking dinner. Well, they're not good at that, are they? Orange County Register, Orange County Sun, Sam Bernardino Sun, People Magazine, Wired Magazine, Altamagazine, SFGate, and The Guardian. Yeah. America is- They're just really abusing their meme generator.
Starting point is 01:28:04 Uh, this one, they're really abusing their like their meme generator. It's a woman whispering hotly into a man's ear. Very close up. One poyo, rotisserie chicken. And then his arm hairs are standing up. His arm hairs are standing up because, uh, because that's good. OK, well, there you go. America. But it's just it's such a America is such a great place. We are so our brains are so fucked up and scrambled that this is like considered a great story.
Starting point is 01:28:35 It's a guy who work every day for 40 years. It's a tragic, horrific story. You don't want that. It's like, what's the point of being rich if you don't do any leisure? It's and it's also sad because was the chicken good? I don't know. But it's all about PR and literally you can do anything and get PR and you move forward. The most successful businesses in the country. They really are not like look at the biggest beers in the country. They are not the best beers ever.
Starting point is 01:29:17 The worst beers. Yes, like so it clearly is not the capitalist thing is that it's like it incentivizes the best product. That's like, no, it doesn't. It incentivizes monopolies and slave wage labor. And that's really what breeds success. Bribing the government. Yeah, like Coors Light is everywhere.
Starting point is 01:29:45 It's it's not even beer. It's not. It's just like beer flavored water. Yeah. And like, well, I like it. Well, that's not something I mean, that food like I think that all the time when I like anytime I'm in a 7-eleven and someone's ordering dinner, I'm just like, sir, literally walk a block. There's no eat at Walgreens. Like I'm just telling like there is a better op. I know it seems like this is but but we're just wired to
Starting point is 01:30:18 ubiquity is the best. It's just it's it's I've never I'd like I don't Understand people have ever eaten at a 7-eleven. Like what are you doing? It's like you there's no lower Form of food like you're at the bottom. It's really bad if you're eating wings from a 7-eleven like you you really if you see the someone ordering wing and this is not even down to price because some people could be like That you could go get cheaper wings. Yeah If you see the someone ordering wing, and this is not even down to price, because some people could be like that. You could go get cheaper wings. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:49 It's like it's like, why are you doing it there? Only if you're shitfaced out of your mind. Even then, drunk, you should be like, I can I can do better. I saw a guy ordering wings in front of me at a 7-Eleven, and as he was getting the box, I just hugged him and I just go, it's not your fault. Well, there you go. USA. Hey, OK.
Starting point is 01:31:16 Thanks for stopping by the dollop. We'll see you next week. Is that our diet in or take out? That's it. Rotisserie chicken. Hey, dollop fans. I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop.
Starting point is 01:31:32 Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-part animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below.
Starting point is 01:31:40 And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to the link below. And if you want to watch a five-part animation, you can go to animate some of our episodes so if you want to go watch a five-part animation which is actually like a 22 minute episode or 30 minute episode I can't remember of the Rube you can go to lakeside animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube it it really genuinely kicks ass and we're very proud of it and the more you share
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