The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 696 - Bo Gritz - Part One

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine military guy Bo Grtiz. Part One of Three. SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Rocketmoney  Hydrow - Code: Dollop Chewy  

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd will be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport, and 26th the Gramer City Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. You're listening to the Dalop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast for each week I, Dan Anthony, read a story from American history to my work.

worker. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. And how do you feel today working for the dollop? I'm furious at Luke and have a new respect for him. There's a lot of wires. A lot of wires. There's software happening. There's cameras.

There's a lot going on. There's a freaking smiley face balloon for cry Pete. You brought that in. No, this is just where do we walk in? right through the door with it, and I said, why are you doing that? It doesn't sound like me. Where did you get the smiley face balloon?

I don't want to tell you. Well, we're just going to see her quietly then. I will do a balloon off. Me day of the week, my friend. Well, welcome to the dog. Let's say this is someone's first episode. And the intro is pretty clear, but I know nothing.

You're going to walk me through it. We've been doing this for, almost 11 years, 11 years, over 11 years? So we've been doing this for 11 years. You know, and it's just, it's fun. We're going to have fun with it. I think you're going to like it. And if you don't like it, all right, you know, that's fine.

It's not a big deal. But I think if you hang in there, I understand. I think if you hang in there, I think you'll learn to like it. And give it a minute. Do you consider this to be a sales pitch? Well, you know, I started thinking that I'm telling the new listener, hey, welcome here. You're making the podcast sell by Broccoli. Bracolini is delicious.

Brussels fries. Brussels fries delicious. No, people do not start out. Most people are like, all right. That's a great appetizer. Spargas, also an acquired thing. Dave, please, right now, new listener is not a food show. So you're probably a little thrown and you're going, hey, I thought they said there is some history in here.

there is. Dave just took it to a Brussels sprout level, ignoring the fact that Brussels sprouts are often a fantastic app at any good restaurant that many people get. That's not what I said. I said that it's an acquired taste. It's not an acquired taste. You can go there and have it for the first time because they put so much stuff on it. It's delicious. So, but that's not what it is. You tell me, I'm blowing the sales pitch. You're blowing the sales pitch. You're adding sauces. I'm adding eight. So think of this show like Brussels sprouts and I'm the sauce. Boom, go, go, go. We're going to be on tour.

Oh, my God. More stuff. We're going to tour. Yeah, we're going on tour, man. So go to dollpodcast. com slash tour and there will our tour dates. We're going to do about Midwest. Midwest.

Indianapolis, Chicago, places like that. But let's just take a minute to say to Milwaukee, this is your last chance. There's a balloon string hanging off your hat. This is it for you, Milwaukee. It's really bad. You better show up to Turner Hall. Yeah, Milwaukee. Because you're embarrassing.

I'm from there. Yeah. Where is this treatment of, come on. Yeah. What are you doing? You, I've been, I'm from, you're not saturated with entertainment to the point where you're just going like, nah, go to Turner Hall. My God.

I don't know if that's a sales pitch. I know, I'm blowing it. I just, it's all things bad. Do you think that was better with the balloon? Yeah. You can't really control a balloon. A balloon control. On the contrary.

Hot air controlled. Go ahead. January 18th, 1939, year of our lord, J-Town. James Bogreitz was born in Enid, Oklahoma. James Bogg Wrights? James Bow-Grites. Bow-Rite. At five, Boe's dad, disobeyed

disappeared flying a mission in World War II, becoming missing in action, or as it's known, M-I-A. His mom wasn't around much, as she worked full-time as a wartime ferry pilot. Go ahead. And we're taking questions. What is it? In World War II, there were fairies,

and they needed people to pilot them. Gigabelle, move. That's correct. Okay. So he's mostly raised by his grandparents. Okay. All he wanted to talk about as a kid was the military and his dad. He was obsessed.

Okay. Grandma read him stories of fictional war heroes, and Bo would like to say he was going to be a real-life war hero like his dad. Okay. So Grandma said him on nightly make-believe missions. with the ghost of his dead father. Well, there we go. So, there it is.

I was letting you cook for a minute. And there we are. So, yeah, go ahead. So, well, ghost dad and regular boy off on war missions. That's right. Yes. 1910, roughly. Yeah, nighttime ghost.

Ghost dad war missions. War missions. So that's not going to fuck up a kid at all. That's going to... No, I think, you know, that's one of the... those things are it's like in the moment you're like yeah that he's happy he's happy but long term maybe just talk to him a little bit as an adult he's going to be weird dad what do you think I can't right now my dad and I have to go around the neighborhood to make sure there's no enemies

dad we got a trench over there he's like 35 so she she encouraged a boat to recreate his dad dead dad's flights with his father's spirit beside him in an imaginary cockpit it's It's like there's a thread there that I understand. But again, when you see it once, you'd be like, this is horrible. This is a terrible thing to do to a child. What do you think, Dad? Here we go. Dad, here we go.

Okay. All right. On another mission, a boy in his dad. Yeah, buddy. So listen. Oh, look at this scum. More air scum, dad. Yeah, we've talked about this before, but I would not...

Anything I should put on? Son, I wouldn't bring a child with me on any of the mission. Look, Dad, I don't want to be rude to you, but right now we're on a mission. It's not time for stuff like that. Might never be time for stuff like that. Uh, boo. Huh? I'm a ghost.

Yeah, Dad, focus. What's with you today? Well, I'm a ghost. Oh, boy. Oh, Dad, they got us on the wing. What should we do? I'm thinking water landing. I don't know.

Oh, Dad, here we go. Is any of this real? Like, what is real? What is real? Oh, no. There's so much water. coming in. I would like to...

Here, Dad, get out of the glass with me. Whatever spiritual... Yeah. I'm in, trapping here. Here, the further we swim in to the ocean, the further away we get from our actual feelings. And I... Down here, there's not feelings.

I have come to the conclusion... Down here, there's not feelings. That the reason... Down here, there's not feelings. As a ghost, I am still bound to this hell earth is because you won't let me go. Dad and a boy, boy and a dad. Fly in the plane that he once had.

Boy and that dad fly in the plane. Oh, dad looks like he's going and sick. I hate the song. But long term, I'll be fine. You're not going to be fine. This will turn out and I'll shine. Oh, yeah. Boy and ghosted.

Yeah, okay. I wish I could take the plane down again. We should drown grandma. Jesus Christ. Yeah, don't you think? No. She's coming up with a lot of stupid ideas later. Well, okay.

You and I can figure it out. Nope. Can you cook? I don't think I can lift things up. Teach me how to shave. Other, so other than like the ghost dad's stuff, he had a pretty normal childhood. Okay. But then he starts to act out as a teen.

Okay. So he did pranks. He built hot rods and he'd speed around town, stole motorcycles, blew up the school auditorium with fireworks, just things that hijinks that kids get into one's bigger

like stuff like that one's bigger yeah but you were a rascal I'll be honest I love fireworks how old were you when you blow up the school auditorium

I should put him a house burned down once but it wasn't me but everyone in my school thought it was me of course they did yeah but I love fireworks

yeah well so in 1953 he was 14 years old and he was expelled from school. Okay. So he's got no father to discipline him. He got Ghost Dad. Yeah, they kicked me out.

Yeah, that's true. But Ghost Dad doesn't discipline. He goes along with you. Exactly. That's why I love you, Ghost Dad. So Bo had to sort of discipline himself, and he picked, he decided to go to military school. Oh, boy.

He's like, that's what I need. Discipline, maybe his dad's future. Well, it worked. In what way? Well, in his senior year, he was offered a spot at West Point Academy. God damn, I'll tell you what, we keep going to that West Point well. Comes up a lot. And it seems to be a bit of a bit problematic.

A lot of fucking weirdos go through that point. Seems like it's not great. Yeah. As he was considering it, going to West Point, he saw a Greenberry poster on campus, right? so posted for the Greenbraes. And he asked his recruiter. He goes, what do those guys do? And the recruiter said, quote,

they go out into the woods, live off bark and lizards, snoop around, blow up bridges, and garret people. And Bo could not sign up fast enough. No, Garrett. Gareth.

No, it's not you. It's the action of garreting. Gerrithing. Bo enlisted in 1957, enrolled in officer candidate school, because this guy sounds like officer. For the Green Berets. Yes.

By 1963, he was a captain, just in time for the Vietnam War. So he's good. Whatever he's doing, he's good at him. Yeah, no, he's good. Quote, I used to test my people once they said they wanted to volunteer for my unit. I would sit across the table,

take a hand grenade, place it on the table, and say, pull the pin and let it go. I think you're allowed to do that. I knew I had taken the blasting cap off the grenade, but they didn't know it. And when you're on special operations, they cannot let common sense ruled their judgment. They have to believe in me. I mean, I don't know, man.

I feel like a lot of it is common sense, too. You've got to like, you know, there's got to be... By the way, I would definitely be like, he's full of it, I'll do it. I think most people would think, well, he's not going to blow us both. Yeah. Right? If you were, like, leaving there, you'd mouth to the other guys, like, the grenade,

probably everybody, probably everybody knew going in. Yeah. Like, yeah, no. He does this stupid grenade thing. Well, I need you to, oh, you pulled that pretty quick, huh? Yeah, I don't care. I trust you. I think out there, I've really got to listen to what you think.

That's right. So. So, a boat in command many of U.S. soldiers. Instead, he was given a detachment mostly of Cambo. Cambodian mercenaries. That's cool. Let's assign you're normal. I'm feeling that.

Well, I think in retrospect, we've been quite good to Cambodia. Thank you. If there's one country, America has been good to it, it's Cambodia. Yeah. No, I believe Anthony Bourdain's quote is if you want to hate America, go to Cambodia. Yeah. Indeed. In 1966, a U-2 spy plane crashed in Cambodia, and it's black box full of

Secret Coats could fall into the hands of the USSR. Real easy, too. Which is our enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Who's on your shirt? That's Carl Marx. Well, what's your deal?

What's the shirt say? Told you so. Yeah. President Johnson wanted the black box back, so he called in special forces, and that means Bo Grites. When I was growing up, I always thought his name was Bill Grites. grits. I've never heard of him. You've never heard of Bo Gritz. No.

Or Bogrites. No. Bo said he led his team behind enemy lines to the crash, but the box was gone. Cambonians. Cambodians. It didn't take him long to find sandal tracks leading to an enemy camp, which we call them just Cambodians. Yep. But yeah, Cambodian village. an area of Cambodian people living their lives. The feeling this isn't going to go great.

Well, he led a raid on the camp, successfully recovered the Black Box. Okay. Now, other Green Brays who were on that mission said that his version is absolute bullshit. They said the Black Box was just at the crash site and they got it without firing a shot. Or they had to attack an enemy king.

camp. He said that they went in there just attacking and that's how he found it. So he went on a Rambo mission to find the black box. He followed the sandal tracks. Now can I, you've seen, you've seen video of a jungle, you've seen, sure, Vietnam War movies. How do you think following sandal tracks goes in the jungle? Well, I think you're probably looking, you're looking for some depressed leaves, some areas of, um, some areas of, um, of, you know, I think you could, I could probably figure it out and probably follow it, but it's not the easiest. And here's why, Dave, it's quite, quite leafy and foresty.

And the ground is, and moist. Moist. And it's probably not that easy. And even if you can follow it for a minute, it's probably difficult to keep going. Yeah. But, interesting. Yeah. So there, that's what happened.

And Beau on some fellow soldiers, quote, there are soldiers like myself who are not staff pukes. We didn't come up the rank slow stroking the generals. Instead, we came up in the fox. Is that hand job? Yeah. Wow. Instead, we came up in the foxholes and the field. We will not sell our time, our talent, our resources to anyone regardless, but we'll give them if the cause is right.

Who jacked off a general? I knew it. I got. These generals have an insatiable hunger for hand jobs. Can I be a colonel? Can I be a colon? Drop and give me it. Oh.

Yeah. General Westmoreland wrote of the raid in his memoir and portrayed Bo as a hero. Okay. Even though it's clearly not real. I'm open. Francis Ford Coppola wanted to use a picture of Bo and his mercenaries for Apocalypse Now. Bose rose up to Lieutenant Colonel in Vietnam. Time magazine said he became, quote,

the most decorated soldier in American history with over 60 medals, including the Distinguished Flying Cross, two Purple Hearts, two Legion of Merits, three silver stars, four bronze stars, and 26 air metals. I mean, that's crazy. That's a lot. You're happy now, Daddy? You could probably sell that for a lot.

Two Purple Hearts? Yeah, well, yeah, but I think you get those pretty... I don't think you do. I think you'd get them pretty easy. If you're the right people. I've got a bunch of them. I think if people like you, you get those easier. Yeah, yeah, I got a bunch of Purple Hearts.

You want one? No problem. That's not how you get them. Yeah, you do. You can steal a Purple Heart, and then you are officially injured. in Vietnam. People don't know that. Were you alive for Vietnam? No. That crazy?

But a Freedom of Information Act request later seemed to show that Bo basically gave himself many of the medals. Oh. Sometimes awarding himself twice for the same thing. Oh my God. People who just aren't checking paperwork. How was he able to do that? He's just... Do it. Send in paperwork once. Send in metal. Send in paperwork again. Change some of the details. Get it again.

Jesus, guys. This guy needs a lot of purple hearts. Imagine what his uniform. Oh, that whole thing is like grown up Cub Scouts. After the war, he had a crisis of conscious, and he said he had killed 400 men. Jesus Christ. And he was trying

to grapple with it, but couldn't. Can you imagine killing 400 people? Yes. Okay. I have a list. But, I mean, you've never killed. Well. Okay. No, I have not

killed a human being. Yeah. I accidentally killed a possum. once. Ah. That's sad. Ugh. Quote, I went to the top of a mountain in Mexico. I had one bullet in my 9mm. I come to... Shot one Mexican.

Dirty, dirty Mexican I saw from the bluff and I shot him. I come to some sort of realization. Had all of the loss of life that I had precipitated in Vietnam, was it excusable? No. Luckily, Bo came to a conclusion, quote, searching back if you take life and do it in the course of duty, that kind of wrongful death is excusable. How can you possibly? I did soul searching is what I did.

How can, but imagine if, I mean, look. What I realized was if you're wearing a uniform and you cut off someone's head, be it a soldier or a child, you're doing it for your confidence. and therefore it is what is officially termed ok-dokey what you don't understand god was i was told to oh well go on i'm in here but i i really think like i mean there are so many soldiers who have come back from you know fucking whatever war are like what the fuss what did i do i mean and and you have i mean how are you got to like find a way to be like all right i'm just i mean they told me to they told them to. They lied to him. Yeah. And but although he's not lied to.

No, he's the lie. Right. A lot of them are lied to and they have to do stuff that's absolutely horrendous. Yeah. And then you have to like come back and actually like, you know, figure that out, which is impossible. And then you become a cop. Yeah. And then, oh. Bo started doing a karate. And that

that is when he met a beautiful woman. He gave him something like four black belts. Beautiful woman. Okay. They were married that year. Okay. She's 16. 20 years younger. She's 16? 20 years younger.

16? Fertile, Gareth. 16. She's 16. She is just at a childhood. You know, the whole... How long until Trump just lowers the fuck age? I don't think they call it the fuck age.

Well, soon enough. It's called the fuck age. We call it the fuck. That's how we might get around everything. Yeah, you really might. But it was transferred to... Special Forces, a commander of South America, where he served until 1977. Okay.

Now, if you have heard the doll before, you'll remember some very bad shit was going on in South America at that time, may I say very, very bad shit, concentration-y camp shit. Right. By us. Okay. All right. So, amazed and frustrated, he watched the U.S. Shield, ruthless Panamadian dictator. Manuel Noriega.

Have I done it all up on Noriega? I don't think so, no. He had a major role in a joint operation by the CIA and the Mossade to create the cocaine boom in the U.S., which led to millions of dollars going to buy weapons for

anti-socialist contras in Central and South America. It really is shocking to me, once again, the length of time we've just been doing the exact same shit and being lied to about a, I mean, Massad and CIA are Pip and Jordan.

I mean, just one's always like, I'll cook. Yeah. From Panama, Bo learned quote, 10% of acquired CIA covert funds come from congressional appropriation. The other 90% is made up from extra legal means. Extra legal means? Right.

So if you really look into the CIA, you'll see that they do get a lot of money from the government, but they make a lot of money on their own. Is that right? Yeah. How are they making that money? Well, right here, it's drugs. Hello, CIA.

I'd like to donate. Drugs. That's so cool. Yeah. Shortly after... I've never liked them more. Yeah, they're pretty fun. They do drug deals.

Shortly after his 22-year career ended under mysterious, mysterious circumstances. So, Beau said a general asked him to retire to focus on civilian. prisoner of war, P.O.W rescue missions. Let me guess. He was forced out. But the general died right after that. Pull this pin. So, Bo showed people a letter.

He said, proved the general wanted him doing P.O.W. rescue missions. And the FBI said the letter was a forgery. What do they know? Who's to believe? Who are you going to believe? This decorated, this guy's got

7,000 medals. He's got 15 purple hearts. Three on the same day. Yeah. Really tossing them out. Pentagon sources said Beau retired because his superiors pressured him into leaving after believing that he'd done a Colonel Kurtz.

A Colonel Kurtz? Go ahead. Colonel Kurtz, I will show you. Oh, God. Josh is going to be mad of you. Josh is pretty much. constantly mad. It's true.

You want to read it? Oh, yeah. Oh, dear. So he did a Colonel Kurtz. He did the Apocalypse Nowd? Yeah, so Colonel Kurtz is Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.

As I call him the straight man in the movie, just like a real chill character. Okay, so I'll read it. Walter Kurtz was a career officer in the U.S. Army. He's a third generation West Point graduate who had risen

through the ranks and was seen to be destined for a top post in the Pentagon. So, yeah, so and then he goes bananas and not. So they think that's what happened. Right. So that's what some people in Pentagon say

that they were like, okay. How'd you go, buddy, buddy. That's a bit. Like, we love a lot of shit in the army. But Wow. We were meant to do it. Tell him, Dad. The issue of prisoners of war, the soldiers missing in action,

who were left behind of Vietnam, was pretty big amongst veterans. And now he's going to be involved in that? Amongst veterans and their families. So Colonel Kurtz is like, I was reassigned. But it's a sham. Right. They're just people having hope, right?

And they can't let go. Oh, that's a shame. Families and. and whatnot. In 19... Here's how it happened, though. So in 1972, the Nixon administration lied.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I know. I know. I know. I know. He did one bad thing, and it's this, but he didn't do anything. So he did tell a lie.

He was on the up-and-up for the most part. Yeah. Yeah, but this is one thing. Everything I've heard has been pretty soft. For it. Stop. So he said there were around 1,300 prisoners of war. Is he just trying to cover for death?

No. If you can imagine this, so he wanted to say there were prisoners of war so he could justify a Christmas bobbing campaign. Right. If you can imagine a country saying there were... Right. And he would use it as leverage in peace talks, so that's what... So he lied.

Right. This is Kissinger's shit. Who else could it be? It's so crazy how... If we could just put our... minds towards doing proper things that help people, but instead we're like, how can we bomb on Christmas?

Like, it's just the most evil shit. There were actually half as many POWs, according to both North Vietnam and American intelligence. After the war, Nixon only brought home 591 soldiers, which is probably the amount there actually were. But now people are like, well, there's 700 still there, because that because of the fake numbers.

Right. So Nixon now says, no, all POWs have been freed, which makes everyone super suspicious. Why is he saying that? And created a cottage industry

of people determined to bring our boys home. Oh, no. No, not a cottage industry of POW hunters. Oh, no. Ross Perot. Oh, my God.

Is this short Texas billion, obsessed with bringing every prisoner of war back. We're going to find them. We are going to find your boys. Okay? He called the Nixon White House so often, then an exasperated aide finally said, quote,

God damn it, stop calling. Now, hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. Put me on hold. I like the music got up there. He organized a private... Oh, my God.

Paramilitary operation. Ross Perot. to free two employees from an Iranian prison. Now, where can find me, boys? But in an act of incredible timing, someone else freed the prisoners right before Pro's team arrived. I think we still go, okay? I think we should still make the trip.

Get the ghost one. The only thing that we're, look, we might find more pals, okay? Yeah. I think we'd look over, turn over every rock, every stick, every log, everything we can find, every tree, drunk. Maybe a guy will be under our shoe. Can I just ask you? Can I just ask you to stop calling them Pows?

Pows. Now, what are you talking about? What are you calling? Never mind. It's like the Batman comic. PiaW, I call him PiaW. It's like when Batman hits a guy. POW!

And we're going to get him. It's not really. And when we break the door down, we're going to make a pal on the pail. Okay? We're going to find these boys. No matter what. I've never seen you so excited to be able to D Ross Pro.

I don't know what you're talking about me. I've never, never done, I never brought back a character and seeing you, I mean, you're, now, hold on a minute, you're floating. Hold on a minute. You're floating. You're calling me a balloon? Yes. I might be a little ballooning right now. I'll tell you what, I got more helium inside of me than a big bunch of a birthday bash. Okay. According to Bo, the director of the defense intelligence agency, which is the Department of Defense's own CIA.

What the, why? Everybody needs one. We're good. Everybody needs one. We're good. Everybody needs one. We're good. The end of this country will just be everyone's in a military service. So he asked Ross Pro, the director of the defensive judge, asked Ross Pro to fund Bo's first POW rescue mission. Absolutely. You absolutely have a deal.

As Bo entered a pro's office, the first thing he saw was a massive bronze statue of John Wayne atop a majestic steed with his gun out looking very... Now, how good is this? Huh? From Bo's autobiography. So, Paro gets right to the point. I should just have you read this.

Sure. Okay, wait. Yeah, so there's two sentences here, but I'll let you read Bo. Okay. Now I need to go over there and do it. everything necessary. You come back and tell me there aren't any POWs left alive. I'm not interested in Bones. That's Bones. B-O-N-E-S. Now, how crazy is that

that I just said that? Remember the second one. And as I pause, let me go out a little more. Ross Perrault goes on to say a quote. When you get back, I have an additional task for you. Governor Clements and the head of the DEA have given me permission to have one man operate outside the law. I know you have extensive. contracts in Central America. I want you to uncover and identify everyone dealing with cocaine,

everyone dealing cocaine between Columbia and Texas. Once you're sure you've got them all, I want you to wipe them out in a single night like an angel of death. Okay? Like a little bit, that little guy said that. I want you to ride in and I'm like, you're one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse,

take your sword out of your sheep, and I want you to cut the heads off these boys, you understand? And when the heads are off, I want the blood drained out of them, and I want you to put it in a big bucket, and I want you to cut the skulls out of the skin, and then I want you to drink the blood out of the skulls like wine from a craft. Okay? You understand?

Yeah, but the skulls, because of they have the skull. You will take the skull out of the skin. I'm holding it. Are you slow? I'm holding it upside. So it's upside down. The skull? No way it would hold.

Of course it is. The water. It's like a headball. Blood. A headball, yeah. It's like a body out of the, exactly. I'm just thinking of the particulars of drinking. Well, some of it's going to spill down your neck.

Yeah. But that's okay. You will be covered in blood at that point anyway. Okay. So there's no need to worry about a napkin or anything like that. Okay. Are you slow, son? No, no.

You understand what I'm saying to you? I'm just thinking this through. You will drink the blood out of the skull like it's blind from a big old bowl. Okay. And that's what you'll do. And this is legal? You said something about legal. Now, you said, outside the law is what you said.

Outside the law. But that is not illegal. So illegal is illegal. You're just working a little bit outside the law. I guess my question is it. I would rather you not have a question, but go ahead. If you say the DA says they give permission or outside the law, can they actually give that permission?

It seems like from a government perspective, you can't actually say work outside the law because then... They're not saying it I'm saying. Okay. They gave me a head nod. I said to them, can these boys work outside the law? And one of them open a window. Okay.

So we're 100% clear. this. Yeah. All right? Yeah. I want you to do stuff you've never done before. Make it dirty. I've done most of this. And, by the way, I want some of the skulls. I've killed 400 people. That's awesome. I'll tell you what. I never drank from my head, though. Yeah, this is going to be good for you. Yeah. I'm telling you, I never drank wine out of a skull or blood out of a skull or anything like that. Now, what if I get it? But you know what I did have once? An old bottle of Merlo. 1951. Okay. Yeah. Real good. But they like that. But they like, but they like, but they like, it's standing up, so it's kind of vinegory.

But I didn't even care. Are they making Merlo in 51? What kind of question is that? How would you even... What year you'd think Merlot was invented? Are you actually going to Google this? That is an inappropriate Google right now. We have bigger fish to fry.

Right now, we're a grill covered in fish, and you're telling me you're making room for a little bit of a Google. They don't make any sense. They probably had it, right? Probably. Of course they had it. I can't wait for you to eat crow. Yeah, I don't know to say, oh, history, here we go. Here you go. History of Merlot.

Yeah, no, it's, uh... Ha ha! Now, look at you, boy. 1824. Yeah, 1820. What, what do you think they just made Merlot in like 1975? It seems like... It's not Sun Kiss, fool.

Yeah, yeah, it seems like... Out here acting like Merlot's Cheetos. It's been around for a long time. Mugs probably made it. Mugs probably drank it. Speaking of monks, I want you to take a vow silence when it comes to talk back with me. Now, on my table,

I have a grenade. I want you... That's my thing. I want you to do me a favor and eat it. I'm not eating the fucking grenade. I will eat it. Okay. All right.

So there's no record of this being true at all. There's no record that... Oh. There's no record that... Most of the stuff that Bo says, there's no record of it being true. Is that problematic? Well, there's no record of Pro ever giving Bo a dime.

But I... My memory... is of Perot. How was Perot involved? Backing Bo and liking Bo a lot. Like he pushed Bo. Well, the same way Elon gets involved in his.

He was a billionaire. He was a rich guy who was just now like having fun. Yeah. Yeah, you listen to me. But Boe did get a quasi go ahead from the Army's version of the CIA, the intelligence support agency. Oh, I'm like, what?

He's got to have another one. The ISA was forwarded in 1979, to plan the failed rescue of American hostages in Iran. Oh. When we sent two helicopters and they weren't. Right. They were running for the desert and they crashed. In two years, the agency outworts welcomed the Pentagon,

mostly because... Can you imagine the Pentagon being like, you know... What the fuck are these guys doing? You're a little crazy. It was deemed a rogue operation accountable to no one. So they got rid of it. It's the perfect organization. however her bog rights.

Oh, Jesus. How are they, they're just fighting each other. Yeah. Like a war crimes bumble. Bo's old army buddy at the ISA, codenamed Shipman. Hello.

Gave him the green light, and Bo was ready to form his first big mission. Operation Velvet hammer. It is a soft fucking hammer. That's what Mel Tourmet called his cock. I'm going to... What happened, bud?

What happened? I'm going to hit you with a soft hammer so fucking soft. You're going to want this hammer to hit you over. And in this corner, 0 and 51. So the velvet, based on the findings of a Vietnamese man named Lowe, who approached U.S. agents about a POW camp in Laos. Okay.

So, the U.S., when they hear this, they send a spy plane to take a picture. And the picture shows there is a large facility with walls, fences, and guard towns. Well, well, well, well, well, he will, well. Told you.

Uh-huh. There were standing figures whose shadows seem to indicate that they were, quote, taller than Asians. How do you make spy plane pictures racial? Jesus Christ. It is just...

You know what? It's actually kind of nice to see the racism trip up and tell it. And there were sitting figures who, quote, don't squat like Asians. Mother of God. God, get it all out. This is called proof. That is...

Uh, hey. No. That guy's sitting like a white. No. Uh, I mean, I want to go out. So, we analyze the photo general, and you can see here that this is white sitting. Absolutely. Those men are not squatting, and they're tinier than regular men.

Asians sit with their bottom down and their legs over the, their shoulders. These men are sitting with their just legs out. Yep. That is not an Asian. They don't even know about that technology yet. They haven't heard about legs going straight out. One more.

One more thing, Gareth. The symbols B and 52 seem to be stamped out in the grass. So they're saying the stamped out. What do you say? They're saying they saw. someone stamp out an imprint. No, they didn't see it, but someone had done it. Someone had done it.

And the grass. Right. But they're, so they're saying it's a part of... It's a, the code. The prisoner of war is sending a message. Oh, the prisoner of war. He didn't stamp out SOS. No.

He stepped out B-52. He's the love shack. Spy plane. Love shack. Love shack. Oh my God. So the military. hire Thai and Laotian.

I have a low bar for the military war crimes. And, uh, oof. The military hire Ty and Laotian operatives to stick out the camp. And they find no evidence of POWs. They're compromised. In fact, it looks like it's been deserted for a long time. Hmm. Just like they want you to believe.

Yeah, you fell for it. The DIA The DIA? That is the Defense Intelligence Agency? Yes, which is the Department of Defense is CIA. Cool. The DIA asked Lowe to take a lie detector test.

Okay. This will do it. Lye detectors work or not? This will do it. Well, he did fail several times. Okay. In this case, I guess it did. Okay.

I think they do sometimes, but I think there's way to... Yeah, right. You can drink it. Yeah. Yeah. Like I put something on my ass. Huh? There's a particular butt plug.

Huh? You can also just press, put a pebble under your toe and push on that. Why would you not go with that route? Don't answer. Do not answer. Don't answer. It looked as soon as they're, oh, it's up, yep. The DIA concluded that the figures had been set up by low,

or they were just shadows. I want to talk about technology at this point because why are you even doing it? Because if you can't tell the difference between and if you can't tell the difference between a shadow and a man and you are pretending you can tell the difference between a white guy and an Asian guy, maybe you shouldn't be using that technology. Maybe that technology is not actually that good. No, look, we're all excited for you guys to come up with that tech, obviously. The drone era, we're all very pumped up for it. But right now it feels like maybe you're not there yet. The ISA, however.

By the way, it's not only Asians. It can be tiny. Rossboro is Asian-sized. I don't think you're allowed to say something like that. According to this. I don't think you're allowed to say something like that. No, according to this. There's many things you can compare me to.

According to spy photos. A dress size, pony. Prozish. I'm the size of a fire hydrant. But not one of those ones that's in the ground fully. It's got the little base sticking up out like it's a little dress. You don't know what I'm talking about. I'm half a mailbox.

I'm a newspaper stand size. Okay. I'm pocket friendly. So the ISA, which is the Army's version of the CIA, feels differently. Shipman thought that. Shipman is his contact at the ISA. Shipman thinks it's an active camp.

and sends the classified picture to Bo Grites. Bo? I let me guess what Bo thinks. Well, he agrees. He's like, this is a fucking active prison camp. Look at it. You give him the inkblot test, everything. He's like, camp, we need to go in.

And clearly some of our boys are there. They're sitting down. They're making B-52 in the grass. B-Fingo, baby. Get moving. What's taking so long? The dollop is brought to you by Rocket Money. Gareth.

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That's H-Y-D-R-O-W.com. Code Dolop to save up to $450. Hydro.com code dollop. So Bo gets funding and starts putting together a team. I need a team. So news of this gets to the DIA's Admiral who hates Bo. So right now you have the Department of Defense's CIA now working opposed to the Army's CIA. Yep, which is cool.

He would later, the Admiral would later tell Congress, quote, the best thing Grites could do for the P.O.W. issue is find another activity. Oh, just something else. Oh, because you don't want him to be rescued because you left our boys. They're not there. You never stop. Yeah. No matter what they say, you can never end.

Can't win. And all because Nixon said that's $1,300 there. Jesus. And this went on free. This was like a lot of started in my childhood, but went on and on. for you, the P-O-W thing, there's P-O, dude, there's movies. Missing in Action with Chuck Norse. That's all based on this shit.

That's crazy. But it's a great movie. I mean, those old movies, I mean, it's just like, you would watch war crimes and be like, let's go. Like, that was like the 80s and 90s. You were like, awesome. Our guy just killed a bunch of villagers. Well, have you ever seen Blackhawk Down? Oh, yeah.

It's crazy. And like, oh am I supposed to be rooting for? Yeah. So, the Admoe declares that no one in the government is allowed to cooperate with Bo in order Bo to return the photo. No.

That's right. Bo refuses. And now, because he said that, he's more motivated to carry on. He's like, these motherfuckers. I will show them. So he called old special forces buddies and offers seven thousand.

This is war crimes expendables? offer $7,000. Christ, palture. For a cool secret mission. Do you guys want to go on a mission? I don't have a lot. That's actually a lot back then.

Is it? That's a pretty good amount of money back. Okay. The new team also has green, it has green braes, but it also has some unconventional type of people you might not expect to be on a P.O.W. rescue mission? This is Arm. They had a famous P.O.W. MIA advocate Ann Mills Griffith.

Hello. A psychic? I sense that there are war crimes coming. A hypnototherapist? I am looking to the... Where's that watch? Look into the watch. There you go. They all got together at a...

So you're going to take a psychic to find POWs that don't exist? You bring a talking head lady who's just like, I don't know, Anne Coulter of POWs and you take a hypnotherapist. And a psychic. And a psychic. What do you use? We're ready to go. They're definitely Asian.

Are they Asian? You two don't work together anymore. You two steer clear of each other. You're kind of ruining each other's jojo over there. So move a fart. So they go and train at a Florida cheerleading camp. All right, guys. Now, we're doing a pyramid.

and we're going to get it right. And we're going to beat those girls from Clarkton. Fuck, Clarkton. That's exactly what I'm talking about, hypnotherapy lady. Bo invited two reporters to watch the training, as you would do for Seagrebich. Well, he's probably just trying to get ahead of the terrible things. This is a PR stunt.

Well, he threatened to kill them if they compromise it by report Drilly. He was like, we're going to rescue POW guys, so we want someone to get the whole story so when we get back right we'll be superhero eight side right where other missions like this involved rehearsing raids in exact

replicas of prison compounds which is harder if you're because a chilling camp doesn't really it's not really the same um Beau did so Bo did it differently he refused to show anyone

the surveillance photo so all of the guys who are working with him can we just see the picture. They don't, he won't show them a photo. No. But trust me, it's real bad. Can we see it? Can you draw a picture for us? Like, make a map? Um, no. No. But believe me, we gotta get these guys out of there. We're really gonna make a move. Can you give us some indication of where we're going in and how to get out? I can't compromise the mission right now.

We're, we're... Part of it. Yeah. A big part of it. Well, we're gonna have to do it. a big part of it. But I will not be... This is a picture time. Trust me. Okay. I know what I'm doing. Okay?

It seems like not. I want you to take this gun on my table. So instead of showing everyone the photo, he turned things over to the psychic, who described the layout of the camp as she saw it from a vision. There are many POWs and many Asians. Oh, it's bad.

At this point, how bad do you need $7,000? I guess you're doing it because you really think there's POWs over there, but maybe. Some are probably just like, that's something to do. There are red flags. Yeah, yeah, for sure. A psychic is a red flag. How sure are we in the mission?

Well, this lady can count cards pretty good. Are we going through? Are we going to come up in boats? Are we going to go by foot? I'm seeing us on rockets on our backs. What's your son named Tony? I think he's here. It's a T name.

She described barbed wire tunnels, cell doors with dog tags on them and seeing soldiers out in the jungle digging up bamboo shoes. They're in the jungle. Bamboos. mainly grows underground. Is bamboo mostly Japanese thing? Is it in

Vietnam? Not right now. I'm seeing a lot of bamboo, but the Vietnam bamboo grows underground towards the Earth's core, and they're making our poor boys dig it up. Why? Because they want them to go make really cool a really cool teaky bar.

They really want a teaky bar. Do you see pandas? There are a lot of pandas there too. And they are eating the bamboo. And oh no. One of our boys is in trouble. Is it Tony? Is it my son?

It is Tony. Tony's there. And the panda is trying to get the bamboo out of Tony's hands. But Tony turned it into like a bow weapon. Oh. And he's, he's, poking the panda with it, the vicious pandas.

Pandas have a taste for humans and fighting and flesh. And they, and, and, and he's, and he put it through the panda's heart. Oh. And the panda's dead. And Tony's okay. And he, and he's taking the heart out. Tony seven, by the way. And Tony, Tony took the heart out and he's playing with it.

Like, it's a little train. Okay. He's on the ground and he's making choo-choo noises. Okay. Yeah. That's on my Tony. And wow, what I'm... You're tired?

Very tired. Yeah. It really takes it out of me. Yeah. There's so much creativity I have to do. Yeah. It's difficult. Yeah.

Well, you can take a nap for a long time. Now that they know exactly what to expect of the prison camp from the psychic. We've got this. It was time... I know just where we'll park. It was time for Bo to reveal how they'd get there from the jungle. Boe just received a state-of-the-art experimental transportation device, an inflatable airplane. So...

Just think about that. No, no. Think about it from a physics stamp. It's all I'm thinking about it. So... We will be floating over there. Yes. A 747 balloon.

Well, it looks like a big flamingo. Yes. It's also in the summer it's using a pool. Is this, what does it? What am I? I don't know. I have no answers. One team member.

If you weren't, you're like, man, I'm kind of getting cold feet. Hey, hear him out. We will be leaving the jungle on an inflatable plate.

Will they be shooting us? Yes. We will all have to stop down and blow it up and we'll probably get a, little lightheaded from doing it. And when you take your lips off, make sure to put your thumb over the little pluggy bit. Otherwise, you'll lose your breathwork. Okay. All right. This is going to be great. This is going to work out good. One team member imagined hiding in the jungle under the cover

of darkness, fervently blowing air into the nozzle. Moral was not great. No. Now, once they made it into the enemy camp, Bo had a plan for the assault. They'd kill the guards. We have inflatable guns. Rescue the P.O. Everything here is in. It's all, yeah. This is a big easy to get in. Picture of pool party for an eight-year-old. Everything here will be blown up on our mouths.

They'd rescue the P.O.W. As easy as that, but how would they get out, you might ask. And Bo imagined it going like this. The team would send word through a series of relay stations to the base commander at their hotel, who would call... Great job in this. Anna Mills Griffith, who was in Washington, D.C., who would call her people at the DIA,

who would call the White House, and then the president would call the 7th Fleet to send in helicopters to rescue everyone. It's a good, it's solid, it's solid, there's no way that communication could break down. To preserve, I'm starting to think this guy doesn't know what he's doing. To preserve mission secrecy, nobody in the government,

including the president, to know anything about the mission until those calls went out. Now, see, that's a problem. No. No, no. The president's supposed to know that stuff. That's how you get reassurance. They'll come pick you up.

No, it's outside the law. Oh, no, that was the other thing. But this is also outside the law. The president can't know because it's, you can't have soldiers in another country. Well, boy, do I have a future for you? So bro, Bo brings in more reporters to observe the training, which consisted of morning.

The White House can't know about this, but he's doing press conferences. No. No, he's just bringing the reporters like embed him. Yeah. Oh, are they going with them? No, well, they're just coming to the training camp. Right, okay.

They might go with them. But still, it's like you're like, if you have a couple, yeah, a couple reporters know about it. You're good. Now you're just like, we need a team. We need a bunch of reporters. So who is not familiar with inflatable plane? It's pretty exciting.

So the training consisted of morning and evening, exercise sessions, group hypnosis, and church. It's like an eat, pray, love. Well, if they had done this from the beginning of Vietnam, they would have won. Absolutely. Bo was the preacher. Oh, God.

Telling his team, quote, he had been ordained by God to rescue POWs, and that team. members were his disciples. So it's fine. It's all, this is what you want to hear when you're about to go on a mission of this type, which isn't real. Who ordained you? God. Got. Don't you have to take some sort of training? God said I don't. No, he's good with it. Well, fine. One reason you don't invite journalists to see your training. It's kind of obvious. They check your sources. Right. so bo bragged the operation was being funded with $300,000

from Federal Express What the fuck? The shipping company So he's just out of his This guy's just out of his mind About to go rescue POWs that don't exist On a plane that is inflatable And it's all funded

By somewhere that mails packaging Federal Express If you're a reporter and you're like, I'm a little skeptical. Don't worry. There's all things being funded by Arby's. Federal Express obviously heard about the operation when reporters called to ask them about it. Before? That's how they found out about it.

That's how the... Oh, okay, right. No. Yeah, before it's happened. Yeah, the reporters called. So the White House can't know about this, but Federal Express is like, wait, sorry, there's a P.O.W. Wait, what? We need to seal every left, except for these 18 journalists who can follow up the sources.

We'll get it there overnight, including POWs. If the plane doesn't inflate, Federal Express has agreed to shift bus at half the rate. Bo still sent two team members to collect the money. From Federal Express? So he lied. Reporters checked up on it and said Federal Express, doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. And he was like...

And to double down, he sent two men to get the money. Go get it. Where did they go? Just to a... Federal Express... He goes? Headquarters.

What the fuck? We're here to meet Mr. Federal Express. And the two team members get screamed at by a corporate executive and then they quit the mission. Not Federal Express is an ever part of it.

The two team members. Are you guys hiring? Oh, my God. We're not UPS. Oh, my God. So broke. Why are you quitting? What do you mean?

It's all been pretty good so far. So broke and nervous that word of the mission would get out, Bo changed course and moved them to a hunting lodge. So now they're out of nature. And Bo felt the word of the Lord running through him more. How old is Bo right now? I'm going to say, no, no, no, no, no. 45?

Yeah, around middle age. So he feels the Lord running through him being in this nature sort of area. He held services. He forced the men to hold hands and sing hymns. Five men quit. They're like, okay, that's, I was with you, everything but the holding hands thing. I'm out. The chairman of the National League of Families, which is the biggest organization devoted to POWs and MIAs, came to visit the camp.

and don't tell anyone he was immediately horrified to learn that zero of the men had been paid so no one's been paid these guys have been at train camp for a while nobody's been paid and they had all a bunch of being convinced to quit their jobs to participate so the chairman right there writes a check for 20 grand for them and their families wow and three days later the Orlando Sentinel went ahead and published their story on the front page. This is for the mission that we can't tell anyone about. That's right.

So Bo Scraps the mission. Well, I guess you didn't want the P.O. Duffy is enough. Imagine what, like, someone tells them it's on the cover of, like, an Orlando paper. Like, wow. Oh, shit. It's like you can't invite reporters to your clandestine, training camp anymore. How the hell did they find out?

Someone here squealed. So he didn't kill a reporter. He didn't kill a reporter. Remember he said he's going to kill a reporter. He didn't kill him. So Bo canceling the operation isn't great news for the remaining

mercenaries, operators, wherever they are. They're stuck in Florida. They have no money and they have no way home. They're just stuck. So the National League of Families Chairman again opens a checkbook and writes them all checks

so they can get home to their family from Beau. Like if you're there where the guy's like dude I'm going fucking buying plane tickets they don't need to fly

I have an inflatable jeet they can all go on that it'll be fine. But also embarrassing for the guys who did this going back Yeah

families are going You make it up You make it up You make it up You make it How was it? You look great considering

what you must have gone through. I didn't eat much. Oh my God. We know, we trained and we were ready. What was it like in the jungle? Well, you must have. Oh, come here. You need a nice, clean bath. So there were in a blowjob. Yeah. Yeah. How tough was the mission? Well, it was like being a cheerleader in a camp, really. What? Yeah, it was hard. Wow. And then we were camping in the forest. Ah, the jungle. No.

And then how did you get to the P-OW base? We didn't know. How many guys did you release? We saved nine. Nine men. Yeah. Well, get that dong out of your pants. Okay, it's my network because it's sad.

What? It's been humiliated by our country. Are you looking directly into your camera? Yeah, it's not what we do for this kind of thing. No. 12 years, 12 years later. Okay. The guy was still mad at Bo, the guy who wrote the checks.

Yeah, I thought he's furious. He told the Senate committee that Bo had hoodwinked him and the men, and he wasn't anger about wasting $30,000 on a mission that never get off the ground. He just wanted accountability. Quote, this committee has a responsibility to investigate and, where necessary, prosecute these incredible liars. Because when there's something like a belief that there's P.O.

W's out there, then and there isn't, then all that comes out of the woodwork is grifters. Yeah. Now, he's a grifter, for sure. Well, that's a, I mean, I don't know. He could have believed that. He's also just maybe nuts. He's war nuts.

Yeah, he's nuts. He's nuts. He wants there to be a mission. Yeah, he does. Big time. Boat quickly recouped. Dad, what do you think? Where are you at on this one, dad? I'm just, I'm really disappointed.

and I wish I had died twice once as a person and then again is a ghost, so he didn't have to see any of this. My father thinks two men should go to Federal Express. Fuck. So he recoupes his losses and sets off on another mission officially called Operation Grand Eagle, code name Bohika, bend over, here it comes again. What? Like, come on, you're doing concept lords?

Former Laotian General, Vang Powell, and Congressman Robert Dornan, okay, that's a bad sign when Robert Dornan comes in on. Robert Dornan was one of the OG Magas. Oh, wow. Before Maga, he was mad. Right. Congressman, Robert Dornan. Robert Dornan were both behind the plot, as was the CIA.

When Dornan called the CIA to get a lowdown on the funding, CIA deputy director Bobby Ray Inman told him, this is the first he was hearing about it. And the mission was immediately canceled. Oh, what? The bend over one? So he did it again. He did it again.

He started up another one. No one was actually doing it. He said he just got found out earlier. He keeps saying there's funding and there's never funding. Yeah, yeah. He's doing pyramid missions. Bo? He's not going to give up on the POWs.

Now. He's going to take another crack at it. This time, from money he would raise himself. Oh, no. He called this Operation Lazarus. No. He made contacts overseas like the deputy premier of Laos, who would rent Bo his army.

Rent Bo his army. That's correct. An American professional P-O-W Hunter and Lowe, the guy who had grifted everyone about Pito Co. He came in the first place. So, Bo is, you know, the CIA or the DIA or any other three-letter group get in his way this time. Nobody's allowed to, yeah, there's really... Obviously, that means he has to go straight to Reagan.

He just needs someone who can access the president. Yeah. Somehow, some way, he finds one, actor Clint Eastwood. What? Right-wing lunatic who would later talk to a chair. Clint was so into the idea of this mission that he gave Bo 30,000 to fund it. We will find them. We're going to get him.

Bo now realizes Hollywood is a good source for money. Oh, my God. So he sets up... Not actors. He sets up. a $10,000 sale of a book and movie rights with another actor, William Shatner. I will get them. I can't believe there's P.

O.Ws. Hollywood likes Bo, which is why... Idiots. He would later say they made the Rambo's movie after him. No, because he went on missions. Of course, the first Rambo Mobie is based on a book written before Bo did a POW rescue mission. That doesn't mess with what I said. But Rambo too kind of seems based on the type of operation Bo was raising money for.

Right. So Lytton Industries, which is now part of Northrop Grumman, which is a weapons maker. We're great, one of our best. Ponyed up 50 grand and the use of their high-tech equipment. This is, again, to go find people who aren't there. Yeah. Including a set of sophisticated communication devices designed for use in a nuclear war, and they are worth millions of dollars.

Bo must have jizzed his army fatigues. Oh, my God. He bowed all over his pants. Oh, he bowed a load. They bowed a load. From Prisoners of Hope by Susan Katz Keating, quote, Through a series of mishaps, Grites wound up grossly unprepared for a cross-border foray.

The former deputy premier swindled, so the guy who was going to help and give him men, swindled Grites out of 6,000 and were nagged on the offer to rent Grites' army. So he just, this is, This is before the mission, though? Yeah. So the grifter got grifter. Yeah.

Yeah. The- Where are the men? The professional POW hunter, who was paid $5,000 for use of his boat and never got the boat, Clint Eastwood did not tell Reagan to send in rescue helicopters. A contact who was supposed to supply guns apparently lost the key to the locker that held the weapons. What? That happened. This is like, this is the opposite of the Ocean's 11 crew. How are you going to get into a gun locker if you don't have the key? There's no way. It's over. The mission's over.

Yeah, unfortunately. All the guns are in there. I'd shoot the lock off. That's a combination. Yeah. Oh, sucks too. You're so close to being able to do this. And finally, the $27,000 payroll for the men of Operation. and Lazarus mysteriously disappeared. FedEx. Go get it, boys. So it's looking like this mission, like the other ones would end

before it even started. Damn it. This is Lazarus. Yeah, but Bo makes up his mind. They're going to go on. Well, no of this shit's going to stop them. Why would it? Because of everything that they need is gone. Well, they still have feet.

And so they marched. through the jungle, 65 miles. Despite vocal objections from the men, between the 19 of them, they had three weapons. Well, because the guy lost the key. So... The rest of you boys just hold leaves.

We're going to snap necks. The others will massage the others. We'll do massage trains. They were going to meet with a team of hastily hired Laotian mercenaries at a rendezvous point and then marched to the rescue site at which at this point doesn't exist. There's no rescue site. So that's a problem. I think everything's a problem. But two days in, they were ambushed. It must have been the easiest ambush ever. They're like,

lay on your guns. All of you. That's all. That's all we have. All of you. We were sharing. Put all of you. There's only three years. There's 19 of you. Put your guns down. We are, we believe in sharing. Put your guns down. We did. Search them, boys. They don't have any guns. You have three guns?

Yeah. You didn't. What are you doing? We're going to get this. We're going to let you go. I just want to get paid, man. I just want to get paid. I left my job.

That's what we want, too. I worked at handles. Handles? Ice cream. Handles ice cream? Yeah. I'm barely speaking English. I'm just not doing the accent.

You're not doing, why aren't you doing the accent? Stop asking. Please do your Laotian accent. No. Please do your Laotian accent. I will not be doing that. How about improv is a little more real than this? I don't think it is.

Okay, so one American is captured. And the team gets ready for a counterattack, but Bo finally for their first time in a position to actually rescue a POW who orders them to retreat. He has a POW. I think they got guns from the oceans that they met up with.

They must have more guns at this point. Anyway, they leave the guy behind. That's what you're supposed to do. They run back to Thailand. Help! And that actually escaping didn't go well. For example, one of the guys

impelled his foot on a tree branch. other men got swept away by the Mekong River and almost died. So the retreat was also bad. So he's losing men on a mission to save men that don't exist. That's right. So they get back to Thailand. The goodness, bad news situation here. The good news is the prisoners okay.

The prisoner they created. Yeah. The bad news is that he's being held for ransom for 17,500 now by the former deputies. premier who would help plan the mission. Oh my God. That guy was like, where do you think you'll be, where are you looking to meet up? He's the one who sent the,

he's the one of the Ampherson. So clearly. So he got, he already got 6,000 by scamming them. And that is getting, okay. So, by the way,

there's our hero. Yeah. That guy is the best. So Boe doesn't have the money. Um, and he's too embarrassed to tell anybody, that he didn't just fail the P.O.W rescue mission. He created a mission. He created his own mission.

Well, now there is a POTF. He went on a fake mission and now he has a mission and now he doesn't know what to do. And now there actually is a P.O.W. And the Southeast Asia, finally there's. We got to find money. Wait, why don't we go break him out? What are you talking about? We can't do that. Is it possible? So he just goes, he just leaves. He goes back to America. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? What are you going to do?

Well, this is like what you've been training everyone for for like 20 years. So. The family's like, how did the mission go? You sons a P.O.D. What? The opposite happened. We made one. We made one.

We went there to stop them, but we made one. Did you try to rescue him? We just, we ran. We took off. They were tree branches. We went to, well, Clark heard his foot real bad. bad. So we had to go back

one quick. And then... We had three guns. Well, well, no, we got more eventually. But that guy, the guy we got the guns from eventually, well, he ripped us off and he took him back and then he... Took a P.W.

Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, that's where you're... Yeah. People are playing fair. Yeah. But the good news is if we get a little bit of funding, we can get over there and probably try to get your boy back. Yeah.

No man left behind. That's what we say, ma'am. That's what we say, except for him. Yeah, yeah, him we left behind. We left him behind. Because, again, Clark's foot was so bad. I mean, like, our tree went through it. It's a freak accident.

You just seen it. Freak me out. I don't know what you want, like, us to do, but he really hurt his foot. So, um, do you have any money? We really need some. So, he's back in America, trying to get money for his next mission. His motherfucker called Operation Lazarus Omega. Oh, because it's better. But an opportunity presents itself.

Lytton Industries came calling after their million dollar equipment, sending an executive to Bo who would ban a P-O-W. So this guy has been a P-O-W. And Boe told him he kind of lost one of the million-dollar boxes in Laos. He did? But he would give the rest of the boxes back for 50 grand. Dave, there are flashes of me liking this guy. The executive disagreed with this plan.

On the grounds that they loaned it to him and he lost one and they're not going to pay him for the stuff they already have. And he asked for his property back. He's like, that's my property. So Bo goes to the L.A. Times and places an ad for a one-day discreet sale of highly valuable military equipment. And the executive caved and gave Bo $40,000. dollars. Gareth Operation Lazarus Omega is a go

we're going to save POWs. Woo. Finally our funding. Oh my God. So with this money, right now this is official. He's got real money now. So he brings in two

blonde women. Once they were in Thailand, another team member asked Bo why he's bringing two young, attractive blonde women on a covert mission and Bo said that the girls needed him to be their Lawrence

of Laos. In part to shut that team member up, Bo used operational funds to send sex workers to his rooms. So Bo brought two sex workers with him to... And then when the guy was like, what are you doing? He was like, take sex workers.

Wait, trust me, we have money this time. We can have a little. little fun before we go on the mission. And is the mission, what is the mission now to go save the guy that he left behind? Oh yeah, probably, yeah. Among others. He's still trying to go get the ones that don't. Well, yeah, he's still trying to get the ones that don't agree with Gris. The guy, finally the guy that Bo abandoned is released, but not, had nothing to do with Bo. He was like, we did it. We did it. Hey. Well, while the prisoner is being held, he found an explosive device and he put it around his

neck and he said he'd blow the place up if he wasn't freed. So they let it go. That's the grenade trick. Just like I taught you. So Bo is determined to get to that prison camp and free those POWs. So he and his team leaps. But instead of going to the jungle, they just hung out in a series of safe houses and a rock quarry. These are all owned by Lowe, the original Gifter guy. Meanwhile, the Bangkok Post runs a front page story about Bo's current

mission. And because of the story, Thai authorities have reason to believe Bo has had smuggled in illegal spy radio equipment. A hundred percent. He had, or he had before, if he didn't this time, he did before, for sure. So his missions, there's no covert nature to any of these missions. Everyone knows. Everyone's talking. That's a problem. I mean, you're on the front page with your covert mission. You would think once burned You would be like We got a bat in the hatch

So here's what I'm thinking So I know we got burned Because we brought in reporters So this time I'm thinking Reporters and Sex Workers So we're just gonna bring sex workers for this one Right Because they don't

They famously don't say anything They don't say anything They didn't have Tight-lipped Absolutely Absolutely Well So the tight government

Raids one of Lowe's safe houses where they found a blonde woman, a team member, and a shit ton of radio equipment, and they charged them, and lobe posted their bond. So one of the sex workers got arrested for having spy radio equipment. Yeah.

She was just like, wait, what? Still hiding in a rock quarry, Beau wrote... We never leave a sex worker behind. Still hiding in a rock quarry, Bo wrote a letter declaring that he had found proof of POE. He also said he was working with the DIA and CIA, and he handed the letter to a courier to give to the Bangkok correspondent of the L.A. Times and made him tell the correspondent that Bo brought this letter all the way from a secret camp in Laos.

What? On the day as team members were supposed to turn themselves in, because obviously the word's out now, Bo showed up allegedly right from the jungle to surrender. but photos taken of the event show Bo as completely clean-shaven and freshly showered. I was at Holiday. I'll be honest. I bear grills did. Nobody thought he was more ready to believe his own defense attorney in a Thai courtroom than Bo Grites. Ready to be his own.

He's going to be his own. Of course he is. The dude is checking every box. Yes, every box. Of course he's going to be his own. If only we could, if I could have a thimble size of the conference, and it's his pan. So he tries to show up

in his military uniform with all the medals, right? See that? But the Thai government won't let. I got a lot of these from killing people. I know. It's not going to help you in a Thai corner. You know, but I guess in retrospect,

you guys probably don't love this. This is for killing some of the people you know. I killed 400 people. Thinking quickly, Bo did the next best thing. Naked. Have Lowe show up to the quarter. room with the uniform and paraded around.

So he couldn't wear it, but he had him. Oh, gosh. Oh, come on. Well, that's mine. Zandex went on there from there. He was basically so annoying that the Thai government promised to give up on any other punishments if he just left and never came back. No, that's their thing. They're like, you can never come back.

If you leave and go away forever, we will end this. Objection. He took the deal. Bo arrived back in America There's a media firestorm He does a tour of national TV shows promising that he'd reveal real evidence of POWs Still being held prisoner in Laos

And when asked to produce the photos Bo said the role of film they were on Was undeveloped And this I remember When he can't I remember this specifically because he is on all the shows and he is being talked about as this he's being treated like a hero

instead of what he is which is a fucking lunatic he's a lunatic everyone's like what's it like so that's the end of part one Beau part one is crazy Beau returns a military icon a hero

for doing nothing we are so incapable of anything yeah I mean it is shocking Yeah. Talk shows. Yeah. Yeah.

We were so primed for Trump. We were. I mean, we've just been like, we've just been making it just putting the butter in the pan for, it's time. Yeah. It was time. Yeah. God, are we seasoned? This isn't the only one.

I'm currently writing one up of another guy that's just like this. Sources or whatever. Oh, shit. Yeah, sources. So this was written by Josh. and Adrowski and Revolution of Small Guns

by Adam Harfay Prisoners of Hope by That's in the San Diego Reader Prisoners of Hope by Suzanne Katz Keating Ruby Oh no, I don't want to read that one That one's not a source yet

It'll be a source in part three Uh yeah Oh, there you go There you go America, we did it Oh my God Oh my God! Oh my God!

Hello there, dollheads. It's Gareth Reynolds. I want you to join the Gareth Force and come and see me do stand up on the road. I will be in Spokane, Washington, February 4th. I will be in Bend, Oregon, February 5th, Portland, the 6th, and the 7th. Then I will be in Bakersfield, California, February 27th for two shows. And then, oh boy, April, here we go. April 19th, I'll be in Albuquerque, Tulsa on April 21st, Oklahoma City, April 22nd, Dallas, April 23rd. I'm going to try to see a viral chiropractor that day, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be in Tyler, Texas, April 24th. I didn't even know that. I'll be in Houston, April 25th for two shows.

I'll be in Austin at Cap City on the 26th, and then the 28th. I will be rounding it out in San Antonio at LOL. Oh, my gosh, and I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. That's rounding it out. Go to garethrennalds.com for tickets and information. Also prizes. We're giving away a bunch of trucks and stuff over there. If you just log on and legally, that's not binding.

But go to garethrethrennels.com. Love you.