The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 699 - Jack London - live

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds with guest Nato Green examine writer Jack London. Recorded live in San Francisco SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Rocketmoney  Squarespace - use code: Dollop Helix Sleep

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for each week. I, Dame Anthony, read a story from American history to a conservative. What the fuck? You've said a lot of mean stuff. How dare you? Garrett Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

Our guest tonight is someone who I've wanted to get on the podcast for a long time because I really enjoy his comedy and I respect his comedy, which is very rare. And also, he is a union organizer, which is... And he brings that to his comedy, which is a really fucking hard thing to do, and it's good. So, ladies and gentlemen, Nato Green. I have some wine, yeah.

Thank you. Unprofessional. I would never drink on. The couch is such a great vibe for this. Feels like we're on your talk show. I overdosed on fentanyl 11 times on the way here tonight. Welcome to San Francisco. This city.

Have you tried our fentanyl? It's just so bad. The terroar of our fentanyl. It's like estate grown. Yeah. I'm so excited to do your show for the first time, and I had a dream about it last night. And in my dream, we were doing the show here, and you were married, and Gareth was a woman, and you were excited to report that you had spent your time in San Francisco visiting our famous toothpaste museum.

I love the toothpaste museum. Excuse me, you're sleeping on the fact that I'm your lady wife? Oh, yeah. Wow. That's 100%. Typical Dave. Typical Dave. Typical man.

Most people, when they dream about the podcast, they dream of you as my wife. It's interesting. What an interesting thing to say and not blinkering. What a crazy thing. One of my favorite things about the way things are now is how all conservatives are terrified of cities. Don't you get kids? killed when you walk down the street. It's so funny to live your life being like,

honey, no! That's a city! What are you doing? Stay rural. Drive through this field. As a city guy, I've always been scared of the country. Like, if I can't hear screaming and gunshots,

I can't sleep. No, we all saw deliverance. Right. Like, I'm a Jew from the city. Like, if I see wood, woods, you know what I mean? Like, I'm immediately murdered. That's how it works, right?

The wind just whispers, are you low? Yeah, yeah. You look a little low. I didn't see hay until I was 27. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm so scared of not cities. January 12th, 1876.

Year of our Lord J-Town. This is a Christian podcast, by the way. I don't know if you are. He has risen. He is risen and fucking catching waves. And he's rad. Look when I'll say he's rad. Say it.

Jesus, Dave. All right. John Griffith Cheney was born in San Francisco to Mother Flora. a spiritualist who made her money conducting seances and teaching music you gotta do both

you gotta have you gotta have a backup for spiritualism yeah absolutely probably for music teaching a side hustle yeah a side hustle yeah yeah you do music

people like eh he's not that good and then you're like your grandpa's here what take my watch yeah there's treasure in your yard

keep digging And his stepdad, who was John London, the boy would take his stepdad's name since his biological father, who was a traveling astrologer, skipped out on him. That's the best kind of astrologer, one that's on the move.

That's definitely like a Tinder job in California. They're having an astrologer. Not to confuse the two. Imagine that dad abas. conversation with the child. Son, I've got to go tell people what a Sagittarius is. You can't do that in town?

No, I've got to ride the rolling fields and tell people what their fucking moon sign. I don't even know those things. They're rising. It doesn't sound like you even know what you're doing. Nobody does. That's the beauty of it. I got to go and some guys

are trying to hang me. I'll leave town for a little while. I misdiagnosed in Aries. I'm on the run. And you know they're known for their bad tempers. I think that's a cancer. Whatever it is. Not too confused the two Johns, right?

So he took his dad's name. So it's John London and John London. Little John London started going by... What? Little John. Little John London started going by... Oh, wow. Thank you.

Thank you. started okay all right all right everybody just calmed down it was jesus christ it was god little john london wait you went by jack london started yes uh oh oh he drank his first beer at five fuck yeah oh fuck yeah uh so jack london endured a typical 19th century working class existence as a child before he was

a teenager he worked as a farmhand a newsie an ice delivery boy a bowling alley pin monkey

a grocery boy and he hunted cats to sell to Chinatown right oh Jesus just trying to

put a little money on the table sometimes sometimes you got to hunt cats for Chinatown so you

do you want a tidbit of San Francisco history related to Chinatown yeah So in the late 19th century, the conventional wisdom of medical science was that infectious disease was spread by weird odors. Sure, still in. And so, as you know, and so when there was an infectious disease outbreak, because they used different kinds of ingredients in Chinatown, there would be like race rights and they would just go burn down Chinatown periodically because they blame Chinatown for like, so San Francisco General Hospital originally.

was a leper colony that was how it was founded and where they would put any Chinese people who were sick because they were, that was like the way that the racist police the borders of Chinatown. Welcome to San Francisco. Liberal San Francisco. A lot's changed. Well, the cool thing is RFK Jr. is bringing all that back.

What a good business model. Can you flip this computer towards me a little? Is that possible? May I? Thank you, Jesus Christ. Before, oh, I did that. All this boy before he settled into as a teenager, a 10 cent an hour work at a Dickinson cannery.

Dickensian cannery. Dickensian? Dickensian? Yeah, like dicks, but. Can dick? Yeah. Nice. He said he was treated like a, quote, work beast.

How old is he? He's a child. But it sounds like, you know, he can't hold a fucking job. Yeah, no. Kids these days, they give you a thousand excuses on why they can't work in factories. It's disgusting. I'm little. I don't deserve this.

The fumes hurt. My hands aren't working. I'm watching a lot of my friends get hurt in these things. I want to go outside. It's fucking disgusting. You get it. 10 cents an hour. Yeah.

Maybe he wanted to be paid 12 cents an hour. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Union guy. Yeah. General strike, everybody. Don't listen to him, Luke. Fight through the pain, Luke.

It's fine. So, Jack couldn't. take the grueling conditions of the industrial hellhole anymore, and he turned to crime. Nice. Which, yeah. That's what happens. That's when you call the cops. Right. Specifically, maritime crime,

he became an... Whoa. He became... Sea crime? An oyster pirate. Oh. Isn't that a sushi roll? I mean, it probably is, yeah. Oyster pirate. What do you think is on it?

On an oyster pirate? Yeah. I mean, it's the American version. So it's like rice and avocado and oysters and then like a shitload of sauce that belongs at McDonald's. And we're like, I don't know why I'm not losing weight on my new sushi diet. It's supposed to be healthy.

Hand me more Thousand Island dressing. I do hate any sauce on sushi. It's crazy. Just fucking stop it. It's crazy. So he would poach oysters on private beds in San Francisco Bay on his boat, the razzle-dazzle.

That's fucking, fucking kid is kicking ass. I mean, he's a child. Of course he calls it the razzle-dazzle. Dude, he's fine. It's like baby Kenny Powers. He's fucking slamming beers on his boat stealing oysters. And his boat, his boat? Yeah.

His boat. He's sailing out into the bay as a 10-year-old. With the razzle-dazzle. On the razzle-dazzle. What's up, motherfuckers? Prepare to be boarded by the pirate. The dread razzle-dazzle is coming for you. and you're

next up your minionet it's like oh shit here comes a razzle dazzle suck them down boys Jesus Christ

I came here to shuck and to fuck who are you I'm almost 11 what the fuck all right

everybody chill out who's got a grit I brought my special glove for it I got my shuck glove So he was so good as an oyster pirate That he earned more than one month's factory wages In a single night So he's like a stripper

Yeah that's how I'd like us to think of the boy I think everyone agrees That's how we should picture this how many oysters is that I don't know but it's a it's a like this is this is when it was just they were just fucking everywhere

like before we before we ruined oysters in America but yeah it's probably I don't know how many it is but it's probably a fuckload like you're out all night right collecting oysters

it wasn't like oh I took the Subaru to to Mollis Bay to pay $37 for four oysters that's what it should be that's how we do now that's hunting now yeah that's hunting

foraging I went to the farmer's market no but I saw I saw a picture of a low tide and like this is San Francisco and it was just all oyster beds like which obviously is not there now yeah that was smart just keep eating it

what we don't eat cover in oil Bing bang boom it's a toilet it's not meant to be funny it's a poignant point go ahead thank God we've replaced all those oysters

with like 17 Hyatt's yeah yeah I mean those are jobs that's how it works it's going to be really good in the end this is the end and it's going to be awesome there's people who travel all the time

it's going really good out there everywhere so soon Jack Lennon was being called the Prince of Oyster Pirates. Nobody could beat that? Nope. In his memoirs, he recalled that life on the waterfront among the hard-drinking sailors and unemployed men thrilled him, and that he would, quote,

rather rain among booze fighters than toil 12 hours a day at a machine. 100%. I mean, without question. Yeah. At any age. Yeah. Let alone 10 or 11.

Yeah. That's fucking great. Did he try stand-up? Start a podcast, London. Yeah. He would. He'd be huge on TikTok. At 15, he said he drank two Bay Area

Oyster Pirates under the table. That has to be really fucking weird to even agree to that sit-down as a grown man. Yeah, all right, I'd like to drink with this child. Yeah, I'll enter a drinking competition with this child. It's probably at specs Near Fairfax It was at this time

Spex One of the last union bars In the last union bars If you order a course They will kick you out They got a problem with Nazi water It was at this time That Jack became a lifelong

Devotee of Socialism I know it's bad it's bad wait hold up so what was it about drinking the sailors under the table that gets you into socialism

I mean for me yeah what's that step I don't know what that step is I think it was more seeing the conditions than it was living as the prince

of oyster pirates I hear there's a prince around here We need to redistribute all the oysters to the people. Just like someone in the monarchy. He began by joining Coxley's Army the first ever protest march on the White House. I love the conservatives and some liberals were just like, there's no flags at these protests in Los Angeles.

Yeah, there are, just not American ones. Wonder why. That's exactly right. It is that funny. I don't think that you're an outlier. The rest of the people fell short on what just happened. You laughed the right amount. Ridiculous how bad everyone else did. Coxley and his men demanded what essentially became the New Deal,

government-funded public works programs. Now, Jack never made it all the way to D.C., but his experience with the working stiffs gave him more insight into the camaraderie among the working class. I feel like that that snippet is a little bit misleading because it was Coxley's Army March on the White House

didn't make it to D.C. How far did he get? Well, I'd marchion on the White House but I only made it to Walnut Creek. And then I ran out of oysters. I just went back. Come on, he made it to Concord. Go on, brothers.

I'll see you when you get back. Give the White House my regard, those fuckers. I'll be over here with the oysters. It's like the Howard Dean's speech. He's like, oh, everyone, we're going to D.C. It's up at the White House. Yeah. But he was like, I'll stay here. Fuck it. It's over.

Yeah, he probably was just like, oh, you guys are going to D.C. Okay. Ah. Well, there's only so much a comrade can do. You definitely keep marching and then slowly just fade.

You don't like... You start walking backwards, looking like you're marching forwards. We're going all the way. We're going all the way. We're going all the way. I mean, that's literally why we haven't overthrown the government yet. Like, if you look around the world where they overthrow the government, people don't go home.

But here, people are like going to go to the march and be like, I'm going to march until they go by the tachorea and then I'm going to peel out. Yeah. Which tachorea are we talking about, though? It's strictly Cancun, right? So. Yeah, I mean, it's just the same thing that they're like, march on the sidewalks. Okay, okay Yeah, we like to follow rules

And like bail on shit Right, that's why all of our marches Are only like from Civic Center Down Market Street To Justin Herman Plaza Or from Justin Herman Plaza Down Market Street to Civic Center We're ready to overthrow the government

If we can do it on the one street only Have them come to us Move D.C. here. Yeah, if you want to fuck with shit If you want to have real protests you don't do it in one area, you do it in many areas at once all over your city because they can't defend that.

Officer? So you told this, we have cops here tonight, so you told us to get the instigators to yell out, well that's... We got one. Who else thinks that guy's right? Oh, an arrest! Drop the gas!

We only have like four. So... Dave, everybody knows that if you want to overthrow the government, you have to leave the city and go to the suburbs because it is really pretty easy to overwhelm a small-town police department. Oh, my God. They really don't know what they're doing. Once, I had two cop cars pull up on me in Cordomedeira,

and I was like, send all... of you and they were like we are all of us we're looking for backup you have him oh we're waiting for backup from Roner Park most in the suburbs most of the cops are just harassing teenagers and taking their beer

razzle dazzle at least that was what it was like for me I used to play poker with when I was in high school I had an older buddy did you drink them out of the table yes are you And I would bring my bag of oysters, and they'd bring their boots. But he had two cops who were friends, and that's how we got all the liquor and drugs. Because they would just confiscate it and then bring it.

He used to be cool. Man, they used to be cool. Those are the days. They don't do that now. Now cops are awesome. So it became the new deal. He had commodity with the working class. And the panic of 1893 was raging and decimating the American economy.

which was partially caused by the McKinley Tariff Act that raised tariffs 50%. Okay. Oh, and we've learned a lot since those ones. And so now we got good ones. Yeah, 120%. Yep, yeah. You're saying, like, that's that good.

Yeah, make them more. Yeah, exactly. It's working. Yeah, let him cook. So Jack became a hobo. So Jack rode the rails and saw the degradation of American life for a growing proportionate society. Yeah, he's doing it.

It was the worst depression ever, until the next one. And Jack wrote about his experience, lambasting liberals for their ideas of philanthropy, quote, oh, you charity mongers. By the way, I like how you said philanthropy like Tony Soprano. Philanthropy. Philanthropy. Oh, you charity mongers,

go to the poor and learn for the poor alone. are the charitable. Charity is the bone shared with the dog when you are just as hungry as the dog. Damn. He should be a writer. That's pretty good. You're thinking of a different one. Yeah, yeah.

He was arrested for vagrancy for sleeping on a sidewalk when he traveled to see Niagara Falls and put in a New York prison for 30 days. That would be an amazing. That's what HBO Max has. changing its name to, by the way. Hobos. What are you now? We don't know.

Quote, I was down in the cellar of society, down in the subterranean depths of misery. This is in prison. I was in the pit, the abyss, the human cesspool, the shambles, and the charnel house of our civilization. I was scared into thinking. Oh, God damn. That's a nightmare. who wants to be scared

into thinking. Oh, that's what you did to me. You're a right prick you are. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, I can't say met at you, little guy. Such a cutie. So he vowed to stop subsisting

on Braun and switch gears to pursue his studies and become a, quote, brain merchant. So the time in an upstate New York prison terrified him into going back to San Francisco. And here he, We joined the Socialist Labor Party.

And he rolled in UC Berkeley and started giving public speeches demanding labor reform. Did that for about a year until he ran out of money. And then he got kicked out of school. By 1897, he became a sailor. and by 1897 he was an expert sailor and he sailed across the Pacific Ocean. Jesus.

He was an expert brawler having drank his way from pub to pub across several waterfronts. Wait, an expert brawler? Yeah, he would just get in drunken fights. Oh, okay, that's what I figured it meant. What did you think it might mean? That, but I was like, what is it an expert brawler?

I mean shit out of people well. Like he trained. Not just that he did it a lot, but he like had mastery. Oh, yeah. Skills. Sure. He had a Sensei.

Now we're definitely leaving. Yeah, yeah, he did. It was like a wash-on-wash-off situation. Stop it right now. With fists. And booze.

There had been a training montage of some sort. Yeah, there was a training montage. Listen, you guys need to stop pretending like the Karate Kid story is what's happening, because I'm going to start buying into it. In July, the steamer ship excelsior came in from Alaska and documents. You know, back then at UC Berkeley, you could just major in fistfighting.

It was like a whole department. Department of Fisticuff Studies. That's right. You can still do that at the University of Texas. Leave them alone. They're figuring it out. They're not. Yeah, they are.

They're absolutely not figuring out. What if our entire school? is funded by a football game. Okay. Forget water. Let's figure out the bathroom. Like it.

Making weed illegal is the greatest thing that they could have done. For all the people like, bingo, move, what? No, fuck! The best thing ever is Joe Rogan moving to a state that made pot illegal.

Oh. Oh, great. So good. It is fucking great. So this steamship excelsior comes to. comes from Alaska, dogs in San Francisco,

and it has thousands of pounds of gold on it because they had discovered gold. And Word gets out, and there starts one of the most insane gold rushes in human history. So the Yukon is harsh, brutal, it's a violent territory. That's if you survive the trip to get there.

Wow. It's estimated 1 in 15 men died before reaching the gold fields. Fuck. But those are good odds? I was going to say, you do kind of like it a little. Yeah, 14 guys lived. Yeah, a little too many for my...

Honestly, I'd be like, hey, some of these guys got to drop. So you would kill guys on the way there? No. Make it harder for them? Yes. Yes. Slowly make it more difficult. Yeah.

Just eat their gruel in the mess hall? How do you eat gruel? Yeah. How do you do it again? that's the beauty of gruel if you could get it you could fucking slurp it it's a slurper

it's a stewie it's like paper machet you could just slip it down all right you're both looking at me the same way so I'm going to take it out all right

so gruel so jack obviously did not want to be one of the guys who dies interesting he's 21 Jesus Christ definitely felt older

an expert fighter Expert fighter Prince of Oysters Prince of Oysters Used to be on the razzle-dazzle He's done it all And he goes with his Six-year-old brother-in-law

Is six? 60 That's better I'm married And they packed up some goods And they got on a steamship for Alaska Okay While they're on the ship

They meet three other gold Seekers from the area Ira who was a carpenter and weighed a little less than 100 pounds. What? Well, we know one out of the fucking 15 who's gone now. I guarantee you Ira's gone. That's why he brought it up.

Under 100 pounds. Hey, I'm ready to go. We eating soon? Oh, little Ira. Bye, bye, buddy. How long's the trip? It's quite a while, you idiot. This feels vaguely anti-Semitic to me somehow.

some sickly Jew carpenter aboard the Excelsior. I want to walk away from my Ira impression immediately, obviously. I did not know. No, lean into it, Goy. Now it's not a good... All right, fine. I got the pass.

Of course he's going to get gold. We're having a laugh. We're having a laugh. If we can't laugh It's for the coins For Hanukkah Yes Hey

Also there was Fred A red-haired court reporter Who kept a diary Interesting This feels like clue Like you're sitting I'm like man So far both those guys should be gone

We're putting together a gang Yeah Oh fuck Yeah We got the guy under 100 pounds and a redhead before sunscreen. Yeah. The guy had a hundred pound of a guy who's like, I'm a snitch. Oceans 15.

I mean 14. I mean, nine. And then Big Jim. Big Jim makes it. He's the only one who had his experience as a minor. Yeah, Big Jim makes it. So they docked in Skagway and undertook the deadliest and most grueling part of the journey, which was the Chilkut Pass.

I can't imagine getting off that ship and then having to do that. Yeah, this is, none of this is worth it? No. None of it's worth it. It's just like, why would you? I don't, like, just for like, if there was skiing at the top, I wouldn't do that.

Yeah. No. Four out of 15 die walking up the hill. Yeah. So it's a very narrow ice-choked mountain trail that rose a mile in elevation. in a very short amount of time. That's good, though. You want that.

So there's a brutal bottleneck where men and animals died by the thousands. Sure. There's nothing like seafaring to prepare you for hard cardio. Absolutely. It's okay, boys. I know oysters. Jack, quote, dead horses were everywhere. Oh, that's good. That's good.

You want that. The trail... Once again, yes. The trail was a bonyard. One could not walk 100 feet. That's what she said. What's up? Yeah.

Woo! Welcome to the boneyard. That's what I call my room. I have a rectile dysfunction. I didn't expect you to come all the way. home. Up the Chiguit Pass. All right.

Now's not for a lot of disclaimers. I apologize. Here's a to-go bag. And a note that says, I'm sorry, you bought me in this bullshit. I'll go down on you. What is that? My mouth gets sore quick, so I'll stop early.

I should have trained my job. But once again, I didn't think this was going to happen. Is this a seance? Yes. A yes. The only thing that'll be rising is the dead. Oh. So you could not walk 100 feet without stepping over or around.

carcasses. That's cool, though. That's what she said. Jesus Christ. Right, so rich guys go that way. And then there's overland, and then there's the worst route over here. Right. Jesus Christ.

But where the fuck are rich guys going? You know, they're like, I mean, they got to do something. They're like, look at me! Yeah, it's like when, you know, the Trumps go hunt elephants in Africa. They're like, whoa! Like, they made them.

that there's something to show. It's for the Graham. If you keep looking at me, I'm going to leave the show. Stop it. Okay, so here's the crazy thing. You don't cross the trail once. The Canadian government

is getting sick of just dumb Americans going up there, unprepared, and dying of hunger. Let them go. So they made a rule. Every man had to bring 2,000 pounds of supplies with him, which was enough to last a year. 2,000 pounds? Wait.

Okay, so this meant you had to cross the Chilcote Pass dozens of times to bring all your supplies. Oh, my God. Including the most infamous section, which is the Golden Stairs, a steep 1,500. step path carved into ice. Holy fuck. So they're just being like, don't do this. All right, I brought all my stuff.

Should only be about 200 trips. How in the fuck do we discourage dumb Americans? Like when they see them, are they fucking, what the fuck are they doing? We got all our stuff. What? We packed.

I'm going to leave mine in a pile here, and then I'm going to go, up and then I'll leave someone in a pile there and I'm going to come back and get it and I'm going to do it just keep an eye on it for me will you you don't think it's going to snow up here or anything like that do you because that would really be a flaw in my plan

Jesus Christ Jack quote I climbed that past 30 times each with a 50 pound load my shoulders bled through my coat what the

I've done that though why to get the gold baby if you get up there you're gonna be so rich there's not enough gold for new shoulders at this time you really don't see people

with that level of like drive drive anymore no it's just Elon it's just Elon it's that grind mentality it's that grind mentality he's on the grind set

yeah like now it's just like I'm going to send my drone to get the gold for me. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Interesting. Oh, no, kids.

Yeah, the kids are definitely like, my kid, he's like, yeah, I don't want to work. And I was like, my wife's like, what? And I was like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, you shouldn't want to work. Now I'm going to go out into the yard and put on the clamps. No, that's the whole thing with like the Medicaid cuts and stuff, But they're just like, I mean, there's so many people

who are just playing video games. You're like, so fucking. Yeah, why not? What the fuck? Fuck you. Why can't people who are? You've got to go to. You have to work.

You have to work. Why? You just have to. At the same time, they're like, and AI's taking all the jobs. Yeah, he's taking all the jobs. And I get eight weeks paid vacation a year and the best health care in the way.

You have to work. They should kill them. So, um. That should be what you have to do to work in the Senate. I agree. Yeah. And then you're like, all right. Yeah.

I would feel better about it if they're more senators with bloody shoulders. Oh, that's good. Every bill they're passing is like, a new shoulder skin grafting bill. So many Americans are suffering with shoulders traptitis. Your short. Ah! Order. Oh, never mind.

Ah! All they talk about. Only a few months after they went through an avalanche claimed 60 lives and minutes. On the trek, many gold seekers went mad and turned back or they took their own lives. Oh, that's fucking nuts. How can you even tell?

They took their own life? Well, you'd just lay down. Wouldn't that be the fastest way to do it? Or you could slice your throat? That's fucking self-pop out. eyes with a spoon. Yeah, you're definitely entering Fantasiesville. You could smash your head with a rock.

Oh, Jesus. You could set your monkey loose. All right, okay. Hey, once we get into the monkey... By the way, I'm bringing a monkey with me to the Klondike. No one else is going to have a monkey. I'm going to make a fortune. The monkey's dead.

Fuck. I didn't think about how little his organs are. I just thought they could handle the snow situation. I thought there weren't there snow monkeys? I thought there was... There should be, but... There are, but you brought a capuchin.

That is a tropical monkey, sir. Yeah, but they're really fun. Are they were? He's not as fun now. By the way, he took his own life. I'm 100%. There's no way he didn't want to stay a part of this. Come on. He's a caboochin. Capuchin.

Capuchin. Capuchin. Not a kombuchin. He's not a fucking mushroom drink. Why not? Or actually, he is now. I still don't think that's true. I'm going to cook them.

Starvation, hypothermia, dysentery, and frostbite were rampant. Jack wrote of the physical toll, quote, Our hands cracked and bled. Teeth loosened in the gums. Wow. Why? Why? Why?

You're cold? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, your fucking mouth is frozen. Gates became shuffles. We had entered the Kingdom of Frost. If only they could have anticipated. So. Hey, boys, bring socks.

One pair should be sufficient. You got a lot of stuff to schlep over the pass. 2,000 pounds, maybe a couple pairs of socks, max. And if it gets really bad, you just turn Ira into socks. He's not making it. What are we doing? Too soon. We just found out about him.

Jack's brother-in-law was in so much pain from his rheumatism that he turned and left. Who goes with rheumatism? You know what? Everything hurts. I should go to the Klondike. Maybe it'll all freeze. I'll be numb. So once they crossed the pass, they still had almost 600.

miles to travel with 2,000 pounds of gear each. What the fuck? So what do they do once they're just continuing to do the up and down with their 2,000 pounds of shit? I guess so, yeah. They got a, yeah. I mean, you can't... This is why we've got to takeover Canada. That rule's

bullshit. Too soon. I agree. We can't come soon enough. We'll show them. The dump is brought to by Helix. Sleep, Gareth, I use what is known as an Apple Watch when I go to Betty Buy.

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Come on This podcast It's brought to you by Squarespace This is a Squarespace podcast It is I mean it should be It should just be called the Squarespace I don't think it's

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No no update Like the know how to update stuff It does it all on its own. They got 24-7 customer service. Yep. They got everything you need. You want to sell stuff? We're selling stuff on our website.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if we've even mentioned that. Go to the dollar. Have we mentioned it? I don't think so. Go to dolloppodcast.com. There's now a merch tab where you can really peer inside the mind of Luke and what he creates. But that's all Squarespace and they make it really so easy a Luke can do it should be a Squarespace tag.

Gareth, you can set up a premium workshop, which I'm hoping you do. I did I tell you that I did do that, and I lost a thumb. Can you believe that? I can, yes. Yeah, right off. So look, we are obviously big fans of Squarespace. So go to Squarespace.com slash doll for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code dollop to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain.

That's Squarespace.com slash doll for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use overcode to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Gareth, we are also brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money, of course, is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

And that's what it's done for me and Gareth. for for me i canceled subscriptions i got one for you right here i don't mean i'm not i'm not trying to attack any anyone but look there was a uh a home workout uh app that i still had uh oh yeah it was hidden and uh and rocket money not only said you don't need this anymore it said you should be working out still but you're paying you shouldn't be paying to work to not work out so well the other thing that they get you is they get you with the yearly subscription instead a month yeah completely slips by like that's really and sometimes you'll be yep sometimes you'll just be like oh you know if you don't do it soon enough you'll be like you just missed it and then

you know 13 dollars later yeah and it's a year and then you forget about it yeah that's how they get you and also uh rock of money uh renegotiated my my yearly interrupt subscription and save the three i i'm actually a player on the brooklyn nets now be rock and money negotiated me a deal to be a, a third string point guard. Stop. A third string point guard? Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming off the bench.

So you're not, you're not playing. So you're not on the bench. I'll see some time. I doubt. And blowouts? Besides that lie, Rocketland's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions with members saying saving up to $740 a year when these all the app's premium features.

That's a pretty sweet. deal, kiddo. Wow. What a demeaning. What a demeaning. Better than punk. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your

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Rocket Money. There's no way they... Go get it. It's really not good. What? That was produced by Kenny Loggins, dude. It wasn't. Yeah, it was.

Don't besmirch Loggins. Dave, this is a live episode? Which one is this? What do we got here? This is, no, tonight's. This is a... Oh, yeah, it's live, yeah. This is Jack London. I really thought we had a miscarious.

communication and we were about to record an episode while I'm sitting here freezing we should point out that um on wednesday if you haven't already joined uh we are doing a live three parts on patreon uh 700th episode so it'll be 700 to 703 we will be recording but with james adomian and the uh the subject is uh president william jefferson Clinton. And so if you're not a part of Patreon, it might be a good time to start, as well as we just watched Under Siege on Patreon. We're watching a lot of Segal stuff. And we've also watched, we watched and commented on the, uh, on the Segal SNL episode, which felt longer? A full-length feature movie or the one-hour edited Stephen Seagall?

Seagull, by far. The SNL. Painful. Unreal. You'd rather have a root canal, but if you want to enjoy any of that, go to our Patreon. Very easy, very fun, lots of cool stuff. So enjoy this episode, everybody. I'm going to work out now, see if you want to come over and smell me about 45 minutes. God, what's going on? Smell later. Yeah, the Dalip is brought to you by Moor. Not just like moods.

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you but probably not going to do that so um i ended up uh booking an Airbnb in uh like the village of chippewa right on the well well land i believe canal and um yeah it was awesome i had like uh there's like a little dock there were a big wind windows, the whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did. And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to

you know, go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your life. It's flexible. It's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle. Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Squirrel Square space, our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites.

They're crisp. They're clean. They're easy to use. You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again, but if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with, and it is Squarespace. Yeah, look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the...

Flexible employees, too. Those people are... It's weird. You can make the whole checkout experience, seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards, Apple, they do it all. You can sell content. You can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site, buy on the paywall. You can sell memberships.

You sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients. and invoices, vetting, and receiving payment.

Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again.

Go to Squarespace.com for free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. so after he did this because he ran out of money to go to UC Berkeley

that's right he couldn't think of any other way to pay college tuition yeah oh shit we're out of oysters so I've hacked the

I sent the razzle to the pawn shop I'm out of options to pay for my tuition well you know what I'm doing next obviously well it's time for the walk of death yeah So after a grueling 16 miles, which...

Jack, do you want to try bartending? No. Yeah, I'm going to go to Alaska and schlep for gold. Do you want to do some carpentry, maybe, or... That sounds like a... No. No. No.

No. Do you want to work in a library? No. No. I'm thinking I want to go somewhere I have to have my feet cut off. I want my hand cracks to finally explore themselves. Okay, so it's 16 miles. but it's much more than that because, like you said, they have to repeatedly go back and get gear, and so they are making double...

Fuck. Yeah. So they came to the Yukon River, and they chopped down trees and built a 27-foot... You imagine just chopping down trees without any of this. After all this, like, now we have to chop down a forest. No, if we get to the point where they're like, and now we chop down trees to build the boat,

I'm like, well, I'm dead. Yeah. I can't do this anymore. Throw all my supplies on me. So they built a 27-foot-long boat. They built a boat. Jesus. I guess Ira survived.

It's my moment to shine. Glad you guys didn't eat me 500 miles ago. So the boat worked very well, and they crossed a series of lakes and began the 500-mile voyage to gold country. Jesus Christ. And as they approached a set of very dangerous rapids, they saw most other men carrying their boats and gear to pass the rapids on dry land. Yep, so that's what you do.

Jack was an excellent sailor. He's like, boys, I'm an oyster pirate. I know how rapids work. I'm a sailor. Coming about. Jack. So he wants to put a little bit of his old razzle-dazzle into the trip. Trust me.

Hundreds of would-be miners dropped their supplies and jeered as Jack steered perfectly through the water. They ran the canyon in two minutes. Shit. Nope. It's like the castle run.

It's like the castle run. White Castle? No, from Han Solo. Did the castle run in some parsecs. Someone just said no, which I don't think is the right response. Are you guys getting mad about Star Wars facts right now?

Whatever. Are you arguing the Star Wars fact? No, you're not. You're just upset that he did it. 12 under 12 parsecs. I said under something, something. Yeah. So 12 was implied.

Checkmate. Up top. Man, you fucking, you fell for that so hard. Oh, my God. Set up and slammed. I don't know. Why are we going to go on? We talked about the Kessel Run.

We're done. It's over. At the next set of Rapids, with much bigger and scarier waves, Jack assured his partners that everything would be all right. Too cocky. His exceptional boatmanship saved the day. No damage was done except one snapped. paddle. Wow. Good for him. In fact, Jack was so confident that he doubled back and helped a young

couple who had accidentally gone into the rabbit. Let's go back up the other way up the rapids. Jack, what? Trust me. I'm as cocky as they come. It's time for what I call a little razzle, pf, dazzle. Let's dance. Jack, no. As a matter of fact, let's go back to the boats. Jack. I'm about to teach these Alaska rapids a thing or two about the mean streets of Alameda. Yes, we helped a couple who were stuck in the rapids. It's nice. Yeah.

They finally made it to the capital of the Yukon Gold Rush Dawson City. Of the 100,000 gold rushers, fewer than 30,000 made it to Dawson. Wow. That's still too much. Many. Too many, yeah. And only a few actually struck gold. Most lost everything.

That's the worst fucking outcome possible. Yeah. I made it. It was a mistake. Financially, I'm ruined. Shoulder-wise, I'm ruined. I lost all my family. Those are the same numbers.

Just like crypto. I love crypto. I love crypto guys right now. They're like, oh, so I'm the dumb one. right give it a little bit but these are the same numbers of stand-up comedy

30,000 get through couple strike gold we're all working on sperm odds that is I'm glad no one told me that when I started because I'm like I'm fucking done I'm not doing this sperm

Jack observed the futility quote Gold was not the madness. Hope was. They died chasing a yellow lie wrapped in frost. I mean, all well and good for him, but he's among them. Yeah. You know, he's up there too. Yeah.

Dawson was as much of a city as could exist in a place where temperatures often went below negative 70 degrees. Oh, my fucking God. Just let me die. He's got five hats on his hand. That'll be nice. I'm staying warm. I once pumped gas, and it was one of those, you couldn't, you know, said the thing. It didn't have the thing.

Yeah, the thing, the doodle. In Nebraska, when it was like zero, but Winchilla was negative 30, and I was like, I'm going to die. I'm not going to make it through this. Like, it's fucking crazy. Like, you're just standing out. So how the fuck. Now imagine that. Yeah.

Who had it harder? Me. Yeah. I agree. None of these guys had to pump gas. No, I know. No. It's disgusting.

fucking comedy it was a swampy settlement with makeshift cabins and tents spouting every which way the combination of the frostbitten landscape the paranoia of someone stealing your gold and the alienation from civilization

led to some very weird shit doesn't sound like it podcasting men would offer the town's few women their literal weight in gold to marry them Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God.

Why would women even stay there? Run! Because they get gold. Yeah, even then, I'd be like, I'll figure it out somewhere else. I mean, if you're a sex worker, you're making a force. Yeah, if you're a sex worker,

but you're also like, I'm good. I'm actually taking a few days off. This is fucking crazy. They'd pay nearly $3,000 for a box of oranges. What? What did you say? They'd pay nearly $3,000. for a box of oranges.

What? We're going to have that soon. Wait. Huh? They'd literally bathe an expensive champagne and one... But that's like one of those things where it's like, okay, so you got fucking sticky

and needed a bath, like a bath again? That's nice. It's just fun. It's not, it's on paper. Here's one for you. And one man bought the entire town's supply of eggs to impress a burlesque dancer.

Bingo. Let me tell you from experience, it works. How do you like that? Would you like another egg? Love a frittata. Yeah. Oh, boy, do they? Hey, how about a bang and quiche, huh?

You like that? Don't wink at me when you say banging quiche. Yeah. It's pronounced quickie. Yeah. How about I scramble these eggs and then scramble those eggs? What do you say, huh?

Mm, well. So in Dawson... Restaurant! I'm in! That sounds good. In Dawson, crime rates were basically that of a war zone. Street justice, frontier law,

and vigilanteism dominated. There was a code don't steal another man's gold, don't cheat at cards, and don't touch another man's wife. Yeah, codes are good. They're followed. If you do, don't get caught. If you did get caught, you could expect public floggings, branding,

banishment from the camp, which is basically a death sentence, hanging without a trial. A death sentence. At taring and feathering, other public humiliation. You know, I'm going to pick branding. Oh. You know what?

I'd like to be flogged. Yeah, I wouldn't want the flogging. Could I pick where I get branded? No. Trampstamp me. And say Daddy's Girl. I'd do branding, too. Sure.

Yeah, out of all those. There's a choice between branding and taring and feathering. Tar feather. You're doing tar feather? 100%. So you're, I just, I'm just sitting... Think of all the eggs I'd lay. If I had all the eggs and I was tart and feather, that's awesome.

That's a look. That's a vibe. Back to that burlesque show. I did the full transformation. You sold me a chicken, granted a large chicken, but it is shit. I couldn't hear you, motherfucker. I'm doing the best I can with what I have. Every day I'm out there trying.

All you do is eat. I don't know how to, produce eggs. I don't know how it works. I've been a chicken for like four days. On account of I beg Todd's wife. Now I'm a chicken. I'm trying. I'm sorry. His wife's a monkey.

What? In one case, a man accused of stealing was tied to a post in Dawson Square with a sign that read, Thief, watch me die. I didn't write that Should I put him Watch him die

Or should I put watch me first person First person Yeah Watch me die Yeah But aren't people going to be like Why would he write that? He won't be there to answer that question

But then if he wrote it also This would be very hard All right do it M&M style, do EM Watch M die Yeah Because he's like doing it in a I don't know He's doing it in a mirror.

It was your note. Well, I'm dead. I mean, I'm a court reporter, so I get very stuck on this shit. I'm dead. Are you the guy who? Ira really came in handy on the gallows. They really, thank God they had a carpenter. Ira, can you build some stuff?

You know, you want houses or a seesaw or... He builds it. He's like, what are we putting the walls on? No, guillotine is what we're... Gellas. So he was forced to survive a negative 70 degree, 70 degree winter night, but he somehow survived. But then he was chased out by a classic torch-wielding mob. Always.

Jack? Jack was? No, this is the guy that they put... The guy you got tied up. Watch me die. But the other thing about a tar and feather, tar hot, feathers, you know, that's what blankets are made up. You know, it's like a duvet. Insulation.

Yeah, it's your whole body's warmer. We know that tar then cools. Feathers do not. It's like I'm a Dow. Jack, quote, there were no courts in the snow. There were guns, ropes, and a great silence afterward. I wish there was snow court. That'd be awesome.

So, Whoa. Jack was lucky to stay away from all that. stuff. In fact, he even stayed away from mining. He was more interested in spending time at the local bars observing the sourdows, what is what they called seasoned miners, listening to their stories and learning all he could through conversation. Jack became friends with two brothers and camped outside their cabin and he became very close with the men, but even closer to their 140-pound St. Bernard Scotch Collie mix, whose name was also Jack. One of the brothers admired

Jack's rapport with dogs. Quote, Jack always spoke and acted toward the dog as if he recognized his noble qualities. He had an appreciative and instant eye for fine traits and honored them in a dog as he would a man. He's a dog guy.

Yeah, it's great. Like him. It's very likable. That December, when the weather was at its worst, Jack left Dawson and headed eight miles upriver, joining his old partners where they'd stake to claim. They live mostly on canned meat, bread, and beans and whatever they could kill.

It's like us in the van. It's very similar. And I can only imagine what was happening. They had to chop water out of the river with an axe. Chop water up there. I'm going to go cut some water down for it. I'm thirsty and feeling stabby. It really took my brain a minute to get through that.

Yeah. I'm going to go chop some water. They would light fires to thaw the ground and dig for gold. Oh, my God. Well, that's not going to work? No, obviously. It didn't. They, but found practically none.

They were in sort of a makeshift cabin complex along the river, often hanging out with their neighbors and playing cards to pass the time. I don't think they really wanted to find gold, to be quite honest. They were there, they just were like, we're up here. now. I'm tired still from the walk. Yeah. More beans. Almost every single one of these

men would become characters in Jack's novels. So soon enough, because of the lack of fruits and veggies, they all caught scurvy, and Jack got it the worst. They called it Arctic leprosy, and it killed many prospectors. His gums bled,

his joints ached, and he lost strength. All he could do to try and stop it was eat boiled beans and brush his teeth with salt. Huh. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. There are a lot of times where, there are a lot

of times where genuinely thought someone fell. There are a lot of times where you look back, I mean, we've talked about it a bunch, but it's like you'll look back, you'll be like, oh, there's no plumbing, like people are just shitting in the streets or however, like, that truly is eating boiled

beans and brushing with salt. Fucking. First of I'll salt the beans. I'm glad he was still committed to dental hygiene, though. Yeah. He was trying. Like, I always read, like, when I read books about things that happened a long time ago, like, I always wish, like, the three musketeers that there wasn't dental hygiene.

And so then I'm imagining the characters that half the dialogue would be like, your breath stinks. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We've definitely have talked about, like, the breath, like. The smells. Just the smells.

And the way, like, talking to someone, you'd be like, yeah, it smells like shit. And they'd be like, he stinks like shit. You're everything. He was like, man, it fucking stinks. Yeah. Smells like shit. There was just a nice light change on that one, too.

Lighting was like, fucking bingo. Time to work a little magic up there. Oh, I thought there was a planned light queue. Yeah, no, we're doing, you weren't at the queue to queue earlier. Yeah, we're doing a lot of those. Scurvy lights, hit them. Let's go. Make them yellow.

But the scurvy wasn't the thing that tormented him the most. It was the, quote, thousands and millions of mosquitoes biting him through overalls and heavy underwear. So those are like industrial mosquitoes. Mosquitoes have gone soft. Yeah. Woke. Too much DEI in the mosquitoes. Oh, completely.

They can't even penetrate a basic H&M garment. It's really. ridiculous how weak they are now liberals those libtard mosquitoes well they before they bite you they're like may I take your blood

it's like just fuck out of here cuck suck your blood and read some bell hooks so the time had come for Jack to leave the Klondike and head back home how the fuck is he gonna get out of here

well he just walked he went the other way. Just rolled? I don't know. I mean, he made it. He did the... I mean, he doesn't have to walk

20 times to get some lives. He doesn't have all the shit anymore. No, but it's all gone. It's not a picnic. Jack summed up his time in the Klondike. Quote, I saw the naked

soul of man, and it was starving. So once he got home, he recovered from scurvy and quickly got back to writing. so he was a voracious writer devouring empty pages

churning out action and adventure he'd often work for 18 hours a day on short stories based on his travels so he's a cocaine addict I have another story about my teeth every story about his mouth

Gums Chapter 11 Journey to the center of the molar But I mean life must be so much better than what it was And he lived so many crazy that he was probably like, fucking, I don't mind.

Yeah. I'm just going to work. This is great. My mouth works again. Yeah, I can eat food. Yeah. When he wasn't writing, he was reading, learning how to write in a commercially viable way

so he could finally make some fucking money for once in his life. So nobody bit. Jack became depressed. Then suddenly he got a yes. It was from Overland Monthly, and it was the low ball fee of just $5.

Oh, take it. Is he like 24 at this point? Yeah, or I think he's younger. What? Yeah. Jesus Christ. My mouth lived a life, though. So he reluctantly

took the $5 and was so broke that he had to borrow a dime just to pick up a copy of his own story. Then almost two years after he returned, penniless and despondent, he finally struck gold. The Atlantic wanted to pay him almost five grand. today's money for a short story called

an Odyssey of the North. He eagerly accepted and his career took off into the stratosphere after that. Jack had mastered the type of action-packed stories that were all the rage in the magazine

world and now just 24 years old. Wow. He was being held as the American Kipling. Jack married his math tutor Bessie. Oh, not that. Yeah. We've all done that. He definitely hired her to fuck.

He wasn't like, I want to learn math. He was like, you're hot. What do you do? Will you teach me math? Tell me, I was too algebra. I need to learn some math to write about the Yukon. And walk me through that again, huh? They had two daughters, Joan and Becky.

But he's still out of the wonderlust, and he wasn't quite ready to settle down. he ran for mayor of Oakland fucking idiot right still had the wanderlust after all that died in Alaska you know sometimes I want to get out there and just muck it up a little still

go see the old boys lose a mouth again something like that BFF a dog chopped down some ice Joan and Becky I'm going to wander off and be a traveling

astrologer like my puppy You're in Ares Urinearies! Urinearies! He did run for mayor of Oakland in 1900, but lost badly because he did not campaign. I get it. Back then it was a lot harder to do that.

His next project was to be a 4,000-word short story honoring Jack the Dog. But unfortunately, quote, it got away from me. That's so great. It ballooned over 30,000 words. This was to become Call of the Wild.

He wrote it in just one month. Wow. So he's like Stephen King on cocaine writing. Right. In a quote, Creative Fever Dream and submitted it to McMillan Publishing, the head guy thought it was brilliant

and offered the equivalent of $75,000 for the full rights. Jack couldn't say no. He had a wife and two kids to feed. This proved to be one of the most lucrative deals in publishing history for McMillan as it sold millions of copies and Jack didn't get a dime in royalties.

Yeah. I wonder why he's a socialist. But it didn't matter to him. He was a celebrity. now making hundreds of thousands of dollars on stories and speaking engagements. He was one of the first authors to live a life in the headlines like a movie star, and he spent his money like one, too. He divorced his wife and married Charmian Kittridge, who he'd known for years.

Easy, sir. Her name is chairman? It's Charmian Oh shit That is a miss I mean Maybe she's a communist Welcome to my wife

Chairman That's That That's after you get married stuff Also call me chairman She's changed That should Someone should have checked that

Yeah I'd like to gavel this wedding to order So when Jack had been injured in a buggy ride, his wife Best asked Charmion to take care of him, and she did very well. Very, very well. And that's when their affair began. A little too well.

He continued to be a really big drinker. He famously portrays alcohol as a figure he refers to as the noseless one. which represents the deceptive nature of alcohol and its power to control the drinker. I don't get it. Yeah, I thought there's going to be like a syphilis tie-in. I know, right? I have a sip. There you go.

Yeah, what's up, noseless? There you go. Feels pretty noseless right now. Yeah, right. Trimian was a socialist firebrand and an author who Jack respected tremendously. His own socialist views that only hardened during his time in the Yukon

despite having a little dialing with Nietzsche's great man theories. The cooperative pact. Typical 20-something. Every fucking 22-year-old. I'm getting into Nietzsche. Shut the fuck out. Go for a walk, kid.

Get back to me, me. You don't hate women. The cooperative pack survives and the lone wolves don't. He expanded upon his beliefs in other writings, like in the people of the abyss when he embedded himself in the slums of London, England. Quote, the people of the abyss are the human waste of the greatest empire the world has ever seen.

Oh, come on. Oh, lighten up. Chill out. What are you doing? It's because your mouth came back to you. He also said out without a warning, without structural change, socialism specifically, and he said collapse is inevitable. Quote, the path of civilization is strewn with the wrecks of nations that have tried to lift themselves out of the abyss by charity and not by justice. I feel like his writing would have really benefited from some punch-up.

Yep. Just pitching some jokes. He wrote more specifically about his socialist views in books like The War of the Classes and Revolution and other essays, explaining his views to the Everyman, quote, socialism when stripped of its academic finer, is merely the economic expression of the ethical desire for justice. I got to remember that next time someone, yeah. That's not covered with academic finery.

You know, it's the economic expression of the ethical manifestation of justice. That's very every man kind of speech. Relatable. Yeah. That's what you got to say. That's a bumper sticker. That's what you say to the people in the abyss. Hey, it's the ethical expression of

what? You can't even remember it. You just heard it. I didn't get it till this guy broke it down but now it makes sense.

Now that would you say it's the economic of the ethical... It's another thing. No, no, is the ethical... Expression. Expression.

Of the ethical desires. Yeah. Of every... For justice. Yeah. Motherfucker. Yeah.

Trust me. I'm married a chairman. That's how this works. he also said quote socialism is coming it is not a theory it is a force it is being born in the smoke of factory hells and the blood of child labor well i mean imagine getting him to back to he'd be like wait what the fuck see wait a minute emily oster said what yeah jack london's how it started how it's going me would suck so hard he's such a buzzkill He's doing memes.

He also predicted fascism. In kind of a perfect way, decades before Hitler, with his novel The Iron Heel, featured a future capitalist oligarchy that makes up nine-tenths of one percent of the population and hord 70 percent of the wealth. It's like literally right. The oligarchy consumes the government

and absolutely demolishes a socialist uprising in America. Fuck. He predicted manufactured consent and Goebel's propaganda machine, the brown shirts, the hollow performance of democracy, and the regime as the arbiter of peace

via the barrel of a gun. Wow. Another heel. The novel in particular inspired not only writers like George Orwell, as he wrote 1984, but also revolutionaries themselves, Trotsky,

Lenin both admired Jack and his book, but he angered a lot of fellow socialists by predicting it would take a century's long struggle, not an overnight explosion in the streets. Something that almost 120 years after its publication seems like it may have been pretty on the nose.

So many socialists attack Jack for embracing his celebrity lifestyle, and Jack was a champagne socialist, for sure, but he believed everyone else should be, too, in a let it a fellow writer Upton Sinclair, he wrote, quote,

because I have tasted wine and known women, shall I be called less a socialist? Because I wear clean shirts, shall I be called a traitor? I have no patience with those who sneer at me for making money. I am preaching socialism every day with every story I write.

Same. So when he wasn't writing, when he wasn't doing something, arguments, he kept busy working. He traveled to Korea and Japan as a war correspondent for Hearst San Francisco Examiner. He didn't exactly have the best

time, quote, the function of a war correspondent so far as I can ascertain is to sit... I love that he went and being like, what a vacation. You know what, I didn't have a great time. The whole country is in a pretty bad state. The function of a war correspondent so far as I can ascertain is to sit up on the hills where honored guests cannot be

injured. The fighting was so far, that we weren't certain any noise was involved. That's so funny, think of today's war correspondents where they're just doing like war porn. We're like, they are always on a balcony, too. Like, right behind me, it's unbelievable. We're all living in fear. Meanwhile, you just got to go to L.A. and be Australian.

Boom, fucking let's go. He also traveled to the South Pacific with Charmian and on a yacht custom made for the journey. They were like about to hit, Rapids, he was like, I've got an idea. Jack, no, what are you doing? Trust me.

This is where he kind of have to talk about his pretty bad views on a race. Uh-oh. It's always something. There's never, there's very few, perfect. John Brown, the only one. John Brown's the only one. John Brown, every time you're like, all right, we got a winner. It's like, bad he actually, he had a slave.

he subscribed to Anglo-Saxon socialism which is that socialism would overthrow capitalism but only after the Anglo-Saxon race had outbred other peoples of the world

Jesus Christ way off a big miss his white supremacist's views from his early writing I mean you really teased us I was really on board and he was also like

big white power guy. So, um... There's a whole section in Marx. It's in the third volume of Das Capital about surplus value in the accumulation capital

and then just like a lot of white people raw docking. The whole white people raw dogging sequence. People overlook that part of Marx, but... Yeah.

I mean, it was so vulgar. Yeah, there's a whole section, no A and L. Yeah. Doggy will be the style. So his white supremacist's views from his early writings are a product of the contradictions of the time, but some of the things he wrote were just, you know,

really fucking racist. But his socialist views evolved, so his views on race, he wrote a book about being a boozer, John Barleycorn, and in it he wrote the first literary... That's a great fake hotel stay name. In it, he wrote the first literary description of pink elephants.

Oh, wow. Quote, there are, broadly speaking, two types of drinkers. There is the man, whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots, who walks generously with widespread tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice, and pink elephants.

he is the type that gives rise to the jokes in the funny papers. And then there's the guy who reads the story to him. It's got your glasses. That's how I see it. He didn't. become... How do you believe in the superiority of the white race when you just saw fucking 70,000

dumb honkies die on their way to the Yukon? Looking for gold? Looking for gold. Like, oh yeah, these people are definitely better. These people are the future of humanity. Canada just tried to put a tariff on you to not go and you're like all right, sounds good. We'll make

800 trips. You fucking idiots! We got this. We're going to lose all our teeth and brush our teeth with salt. But and beans. We should be in charge of the world. That seems, that tracks. When you're only eating boiled beans and brushing your teeth with salt, like,

are we maybe not the chosen ones? Are we, are we the master race right now? This feels like master race stuff, what we're doing? Lock me through what the Indians were doing one more time, would you please? I think they were using pinto beans. What? They refry the beans. You can do that?

Genius. He did become much more anti-close. Colonialist writing non-white people as complex, dignified, and capable characters. And after his travels with Charmin, he even wrote a story about a Hawaiian leper as a metaphor for how colonialism stripped the indigenous people of their autonomy under the guise of public health. Quote, because we are sick, they take our liberty, we have obeyed the law, we have done no wrong, and yet they would put us in a prison. Okay, so he evolved a bit on that.

It was also just the time. Like, everybody fucking thought that, like, eugenics was like it. Here we go. But I'm not going to defend it. It was a different time. Here we go. He spent a lot of his money on a ranch in Glenn Ellen and building a palatial home known as Wolfhouse.

All right, we get it. Wolfhouse. Sounds like where Charlie Sheen lives. Yeah. We get it. You wrote a wolf story. I sure did. The ranch pioneered the use of organic, sustainable farming, trying to show that socialist harmony with the earth can create a better world around us.

It was a success. Although one that cost him far more money than he thought, the house, unfortunately, burned down right before he was able to move in and they had to rebuild. Jesus Christ. Wow. Jack never made it into Wolf House because his kidneys failed. I wonder why. In part, obviously, due to alcoholism.

In 1916, he died. He was 40. Oh, my God. He was 40? Yeah. Wow, he lived. Since his death, he has become a bit of a punching bag by critics and academics. They relegated him to juvenile literature, dismissing him as a boy's adventure author.

One critic, quote, his popularity became a liability. He was too widely read to be taken seriously. Seriously. Wait, what? Modern scholars have re-evited his work, and I've begun to appreciate him more, but, you know, really he's a vital, flawed character who stood astride of both 19th and 20th century.

His contradictions mirrored America itself between individualism and solidarity and idealism and empire. Jack Lennon biographer Earl Labor, quote, London wrote with his fists, his fire, and his contradictions. If he was messy, it's because he was real. there you go

Jack London Oh, shit The research was done by Josh Androsky sources gold fever, deadly cold and the amazing true adventures of Jack London in the wild by Richard Grant

to the short, frantic rags to riches life of Jack London by Kenneth Brandt The Many Sides of Jack London by Owen Clayton Inside Jack Lennon's Story From the Gold Rush to Literary Fame by Alia Silverman Jack Lennon American Life by Earl Labor Jack London, a writer's fight for Better America

by Cecilia Tici Jack Lennon's Racial Lives A Critical Biography by Jan Reesman Lee Tadah! Oh fuck. All right, well that's it, yeah? Yeah. All right, thank you. you everybody appreciate it very much thanks for coming out that's the end of our tour as well

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