The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 700 - Bill Clinton - Part One

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by James Adomian to examine President Bill Clinton - Part One of Three    -   James dates and specials and merch SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Nutrafol - use code: Dollop Hydrow - Code: Dollop MeUndies - Code: Dollop

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Coming to you live from the All Things Comedy Studio with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds The Dallop, Dullop, Dullop, Podcast. That's our live, yeah, it's a lot better than what we do. Way better. You're listening to the Dollars. Oh, there's your Clinton. All Things Comedy Network, American History Podcasts each week.

I read a story from America. I have a little fucking. His is better. Still, you know, 700. Wow, this is the 700 episode, everybody who are celebrating. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. And our guest for all three episodes, the great James Adomian. Thank you.

It's an honor to be inducted into the 700 Club. Finally. Yeah, welcome. That's right. It's a 700 club. Basta. It's exciting. It's where he is now.

Now. Where? That's the 700 Club grab. Pat Robertson? Or no, it's Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson. No, I'm thinking of the other guy. I'm thinking about Jim Baker who does Basta.

Oh. You know, Basta is, they sell these. Oh, yeah, you show me that stuff. Yeah, like emergency goo. Yeah, it's like a bucket of emergency stuff. And then he's... He has Basta. Basta's also a stop in Italian.

Vic Berger was very obsessed with that for a while. Seems perfect. How I find most of my information is through Vic Burger edit. Shit, one of my neighbors, all of his cars, the license to play is Basta. Is that weird? Yes. Yeah. What? What? Oh, shit.

You need validation on that from us, just based on that? I had no idea what it meant until just now. It's very bad. Oh, shit. Well, let's play the theme song. Oh, I made a new theme song. Oh, fuck. Hello, Gobna.

Hello, Gobna. Hello, Gobna. Hello, Gobna. It's a big and spicy. Hello Governor, Hello Governor! Hello Governor! Hello Governor! Hello Governor! Hi, Governor! Hello Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! I like a spicy meatball, huh? Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor! Hello, Governor!

It's right? Footie! Footie. Good, right? Someone put that up on Reddit. It's really bad. It's really bad. Holy shit. What a terrible start. It's called, well, you'll figure out how to do impressions sometimes, but that's Margaret Thatcher. Jesus Christ.

It is pretty good. We should just dive into this. Too bad. Too bad. She's in hell where she belongs. Do we need these if we're not going to listen to anything else? Well, I wish I hadn't had them for that. To be honest with you, I didn't put them on as for that.

Cairns off. Oh, there's no other audio? Yeah, that was it. I didn't have time to get together any audio. And also, like, you know, who wants to do? Well, it's great to blow that surprise for the people that were only watching for audio. Yeah. For pre-recorded audio.

I did have a little some sound bites of Monica orgasming, but because he recorded it. That sounds like something you would hear back in the day on like Tom Likis. Tom, can you take me out Monica Lewinsky's style? You got it. You got it, Dave. Oh, I did not. 1,800, 500, 500, top. Flash Friday or whatever it was called.

Jesus Christ. All right, well, let's just get gone because it's going to be a long day. I know some people need to sleep. Okay. August 19th, 1946. The third. What? Yeah.

Wow. Didn't know that. Yeah. Already. Known as Billy. Was born in Hope, Arkansas. Okay. His mom, Virginia, was a 23-year-old nurse.

His dad died in a car accident three months before he was born. Oh, wow. There's conspiracy theories. I'm behind that. That I was behind that. Anyone who was a witness to that. will end up dead on a train track. I did not.

We know that Hillary is behind his death. Hillary killed Bill's death three months before he was born. In utero. In utero! The Clinton death machine was working. So Bill's mom and dad met when his dad brought his girlfriend to the hospital, his mom was working at, and then he immediately dumped his girlfriend and got together. So no need for any sort of DNA test.

We know it's like his dad. Well, so he was conceived in an affair in the fraternity ward. Basically, it began. Well, so they got together and got married pretty quickly, but he was already married. Oh, shit. So he had a girlfriend. Wait, so he had a mistress, and then he met a mistress mistress. Yeah.

Wow. He routinely impregnated married. married and abandoned women. Wow. Wow. I mean, that's cool. Sure. Yeah, he's a pollinator.

Virginia was his fourth or fifth wife, we're not sure. Wow. And what's the dad's name? The dad's name, the new, the guy who died is Jefferson, William Jefferson, Blythe second. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. So Billy and his mom moved in with her parents, Edith and Eldridge.

and at one point she left Billy with them and went to New Orleans to study to become a nurse anesthesist. Okay. And then she met a guy named Roger Clinton. Oh. Wait, I'm confused.

I know you are. But it's early for you to be confused, but also I know. Okay. Well, your attitudes. What are he confused about? His mom? He has.

He's with his mom's parents. Yeah. And then she goes to New Orleans and meets... And meets Roger Clinton. Yeah. So his dad was Blythe, Mr. Blythe. William Blythe?

I forgot. That is correct. William Blythe. Oh, okay. Got you. Got you. The Arkansas. So that's...

Okay. Of the Arkansas Blythe. So his whole life, he had the Obi-1 Canobee of his father over his shoulder. Get in there. Come harder, boy. Billy, there's a hole you're going to want to get that. Fill her. Bill.

Use your force. Outside of consent rule. Use your force. You mean use the force? No. So, she meets Roger. Roger's a flashy car salesman who also sold bootleg whiskey and gambled. Nice.

So he's a catch. Yeah. I'm a fantastic stepdad. This is perfect. Already the elements are perfect for them. He's also married. Okay. So.

This is in New Orleans, Texas? New Orleans. Yeah. But then they go back to Arkansas. Well, okay. So he is also married. He is accused of domestic abuse with his wife. Virginia marries him.

Yeah. Well, yeah. He's awesome. And then they move into a small house in Arkansas. And Billy calls him daddy. as you would because he's a baby. Yeah, sure. I like my new dad.

But Roger doesn't really care about Billy. Sure. He just no time for him. Sure. So Roger was a drunk and he was violent. Is it weird? I already feel bad for Bill Clinton. That'll change.

He's like one. Everyone's dying, abusive, drunk. Yeah, it's not a good start. My father, one time, when he's, was caught cheating on my mom to distract from that scandal ordered an airstrike on the Sudan

I learned some terrible, beautiful techniques from my stepfather. So Roger was a drunk, he was violent once he shot at Virginia and five-year-old Billy. God damn it. Why do you keep him in line? That's from, that should be

from the 1800s. Yes, that's right. Not the 1900s. But it was legal. He shot at the five-year-old. So, Billy was chubby. His mom, his grandma liked to feed him a lot. He blamed her for...

Well, he probably ate his feelings. Everyone he loves is dead. Yeah. Billy, you want some more corn sauce? Come on over here, Billy. We got plenty of cheese. You haven't had enough Mountain Dew today, have you? He was teased by classmates.

Once they chanted sissy as he cried after breaking his leg. Oh, fuck. So Arkansas's hard. It's a hard place, is what I'm saying. Yeah. Wow. There's other paths to redeem the Arkansas

in you, though. Yeah, that's true. You don't have to go down the Clinton path. No, you don't. I think it's going to be all right. I'll balance the budget. So the family moves to Hot Springs after Roger bankrupted car dealership.

Fuck me. And Virginia and Roger would fight constantly, and they're always accusing each other of cheating. And it sounds like they both were. Sure. They had a second kid. If they were living through this now, they would have constantly microphone packs on the back of their pants falling off as they fought each other. Yeah, that's right.

Fuck you. The Learning Channel. Let me show you how I make macaroni. cheese with beef and pork and chicken. I'm going to shoot my son. So there's another kid? Yeah. This is a Roger. They have a second kid. Yeah. Right? And yeah.

So Billy's very smart. At eight years old, he starts dressing in a suit to walk alone to the Baptist church. Oh, yeah, super smart. I'm not scarred. I'm not scarred. I'm fine. That's what we call growing up in an

alcoholic home. Wow. Is that what you did? I'm off to church. No, there's one or two ways you go. I went the other way. He was popular in his new elementary school. A schoolmate said, Billy, quote, just took over the school.

He didn't mean to, but he just took the place over. That's weird. This should not seem like a positive. That's very authoritarian. Yeah, right. It's not great. The kid in the suit is taking over the school. And you're like, this is awesome.

This kid kicks ass. Plus, he laid one on the teacher. We have suffered on. 12 months of the student jurisdiction of Kimberly. Bill sit down. Now hold on. Kimberly Jenkins must go.

He was a smartest kid in class. Sure. Well, this was Arkansas. So. I'm sure. Big Charles Portis fan, but that's my favorite thing that came out of Arkansas. The humor author.

Yeah, nothing else? I don't know much else. Billy Wayne Davis is from close to there. Jesus Christ. It's from Memphis or something. A state nearby. Yeah, I don't know if he's not a, he's not associated with Arkansas. Yeah, but what's the difference?

Sure. So, Roger's boozing makes Billy, he tries to become someone his mom can be proud of and not have to worry about because there's so much chaos going on, right? So he's going to be the straight and narrow kid. They divorce. but Billy spends all the time after the divorce pleading with his mom not to get back together with him

and she does within six months please we're better off now to protect his little brother Billy changes his last name to Clinton that'll help that'll fix everything so they don't look like it's a marketing issue yeah we're the Clintons marketing

there is a market there is a third way there is another way a path of moderation We will take on the name of the right wing patriarch I figured out a way out of this pretend to be for the people I'm also a Clinton

and I know we all feel better but I'm going to act just like Roger Billy was Unless y'all want to be blast Billy was junior class president and picked for the American Legion program that sends him to D.C. and there he gets to shake

JFK's hand and this is the thing sets him off to want to be a politician because J.F.K. It was like, you can get so much tang, son. How much pussy again? That was the question. I recommend that you follow my personal failures as an example and abandon entirely my progressive positions that are the good part of my personality.

That sounds fantastic. Do as I fuck, not as I campaign. Mr. Kennedy, Mr. Kennedy, President Kennedy. Those are nine-year-olds, President Kennedy. No, I'm good. I'm advanced. I'm a smartest kids in my class. No, let him finish. The president told me to do as I fuck. Mommy.

The two of them hanging out later, having scotch. You are an unbelievable child. I love you so much. So he got really high grades without really even studying. He was just really smart. He was also one of the best young sex phone players in the same. state and he decided to go for a career in law so he goes to georgetown school of foreign service he brought with him a book called what presbyterians believe as most kids will do getting out of high

school just pack that bad boy around and he would reference it he would reference it in debates about original sin in the dorm And nowhere does it say he was beaten up, but he should have been beaten up. Well, his kind of was that. This guy is not someone you want in the dorm. At this age of development in my life, I am a nerd about Calvinist theology. And I do believe in original sin, but I take a little left turn from that. Since we have original sin, we might as well jump in with both feet.

Let's go! Balls deep. New spin-off. Yeah. With the balls deep set. So for speeches, when he was running, he was running for freshman class president. And for speeches, he brought his own cheer squad of musicians. Oh, all right.

There we go. Remember how much you love me? He won. Yeah. It was like the Muppet babies. There was like a young James Carville. Oh. That's tough.

It's the economy, stupid. So he's well liked. But also some people just tolerate him because he's like super... Such a fucking nerd? He's always in a good mood. He's super positive and it drives people crazy. Right. He was already acting like a smooth politician.

He was competitive. When meeting people, he'd sometimes... I met her first. I shook his hand best. When he meet people, he sometimes asked what their GP. was GPA. Wow, how forward. He got a girlfriend, Denise.

And then during the summer at home, he convinced a girl who lived nearby who had a crush on him to practice her wife skills by being hostess and paying for a party he threw. Wow. It's very... Why don't you practice your wife skills?

Okay, what would you like for? We're off for the summer. Well, you got a party. host things. Okay, well, sure. You got to make sure that we have a party where we look like dignified members of the community.

Absolutely. And you got to have a bedroom door that's slightly ajar on the second floor after half the guests have left and then we don't talk about what happens in that room. And I'm in there? And you pay for it all.

He was elected sophomore class president. And that summer in Hot Spring, He joined the campaign of Democrat Frank Holt, who is running for governor. And then he got Bill a part-time job in Arkansas, Senator James Fulbright's D.C. office. Frobert's like a big influence on JFK's foreign policy. Although Fulbright is very against the Vietnam War at this point, which JFK started. Right.

So Bill becomes anti-war also. and he had a two-year student deferment from the draft, and then after that he'd be draft eligible. So he had 18-hour school and work days with the job and the school. That's a lot. Yeah, he's running away from his childhood. But he still made the dean's list junior year,

so he's fucking smart. Yeah, he's crushing. He's still wearing the same suit from when he was eight years old. Same suit. Just kind of like, I look like the Hulk. Plumping out of it. It's like shorts now. I'm Angus Young.

He ran for student council president, but some thought he was a bit too slick. And his campaign manager tore the opponent's posters down and threw him onto the parkway. Okay. So he lost. Bill Clinton lost. For cheating in the election and throwing the posters away?

I'm not sure if he lost because people found him a little bit too slick and annoying or for throwing the posters away. But either way, yeah, people who didn't vote for them. We have a four-year journey here. I'm not even old enough to drink alcohol, but I already have the manipulative thumbs up and everything I say.

He focused on getting a Rhodes Scholarship, which sends 32 postgraduate U.S. students to Oxford. And then Roger got cancer, and Bill would go back and visit him a lot and then he died just before Bill became a Rhodes Scholar which upset Bill. So he missed that.

Yeah. Bill Chase Women, if you can believe it. Oh, yeah. He loved women and women loved him. So LBJ abolishes draft deferments. Love blow jobs. LBJ abolished draft deferments

for grad students. Is that when you come up from the bottom? What? A low blow job? Love blow jobs. Oh, I think he said low blow jobs. No. There is a path for that as well.

So. We got to cover up some of the things we've done here. We got we just killed a president, barely got away with it. We need to stop these draft affirmers to look like a good guy. Yeah, well, he does. For grad students, they don't have draft difference anymore. So Bill's eligible. He graduates as 21.

He works on Fulbright's re-election campaign in the summer. He's a terrible driver, apparently. Bill Clinton is a terrible driver? Well, he talks too much when they're in the car together. He fucked up the AC, and the whole car flooded the floor. It's impossible. I don't know. Is he a cartoon?

And then he drove up. Dill Griffith. You broke the seat. You broke the goddamn seat. No, I didn't. My jacket's caught And then he drove 100 miles In the wrong direction

Which is far in Arkansas Sure Well it doesn't seem to know roads for a scholar So Fulbright just ends up driving himself Okay He was trying to turn left And I kept saying we need to turn right They're not in the hard left

Will ruin this Stay center Bill dated multiple women Including the girl Who footed the bill for the party Denise No Denise was a girlfriend that's gone now.

She, Denise got out. Her life, I would love to know about her life. She's like, it's pretty good. Yeah. I can way better. She thought the girl thought they were a couple until she saw a bill make it out with another girl. Is that wrong? It happens.

Bill told her he wanted to marry a woman who was, quote, very independent. She's going to work outside of the house. She needs to have her own interests and her own life and not be wrapped up in my life. On an island in a way. So in a way, I taught you to do the wife stuff so that I could then dump you like a good wife gets dumped. Now I know what I don't want. His stepfather's brother, so Roger's brother,

pull some strings with the draft board chairman and said, quote, put Bill Clinton's draft notice in a drawer someplace and leave it for a while. Give the boy a chance. Wow, that's great. Yeah, it's true. Give that boy, give a boy a chance. Yeah.

Yeah, the rest of them, fuck him. So off to Oxford, he goes. A student said Bill, quote, had a way of making you feel you were the most important friend in his life. Uh-huh. So sociopath. You are awesome. Bill looked up every Arkansas, every Arkansas, is that Arkansas? Arkansas.

Arkansas? I'm not sure. Every Arkansas studying in Britain. and he would call them on the phone. How are you? I'm from Arkansas too. And sometimes he'd invite himself over. I'll come over tonight.

It had it been like four. Wow. How many people from Arkansas in this time? Rhodes Scholar and a few. In England. Very few. My name is Harry Dean Bean. Now I'm down here, research in Chaucer.

Just as the English are around. My God. Who what? Oof. That's like our Birmingham. I say, these are Kansans. They're infesting the area. One of them made a dog the other day.

So he partied. He was a partier there. Bill later said at this time, this is when he smoked weed but never inhaled. Ugh. The most centrist bullshit policy. The most bullshit thing, anyone. Maybe ever said.

The weakest way to say you smoked weed. Yeah, you, okay. But he got a friend to say, quote, we spent enormous time trying to teach him to inhale and he absolutely could not inhale. So it is legitimate? No, this guy's just backing it up is bullshit crazy.

Over and over again. He called the friend. He said could you say something? Really dumb. Only women could swallow. The guy that made that statement was, oops, somehow came into a mansion in the hampton. Now I'm an arms dealer. So,

on May 1st, 1969, he got a draft notice. Uh-oh. So the semester had just started so he could finish out the semester, but then he has to go in. So he's trying to figure out how to get out of it. And when we can get out of it is to go into an ROTC program. Okay. So he figures have go to a university in Arkansas and sign up for the ROTC, which would keep him out of the war.

But ROTC, because of that, ROTC programs are awful. everybody wants in an ROTC program and you got to you know you call someone to get in right like it's not just like you can't just show up now and say I want to join the ROTC so Fulbright's office helps him

get into the University of Arkansas law firm a law firm law school and then someone else in an office or maybe Fulbright himself pressured the ROTC

until they gave Bill a spot because it was full So there was a multi-year conspiracy to keep him out of the military. That's right. Which is definitely not laying a great foundation for this guy to do things on the straight and narrow. So the idea then was you would do ROTC for two years, but then you'd have to go into the war, but then you could go in as an officer. Okay. So you're not going to be in the...

At least then, you're telling people that they need to die. And then after all that, he goes back to Oxford. Huh. He's like, I'll start I'll start IOT next summer. I remembered, oops, I had a girl that was still locked up in a closet. All that to just go back. She can't finger herself. Well, she can, Bill.

Well. No, not the way I can. Yeah, so he goes back now So they pull all those strings and he's like, fuck that, I'll just go back. Right? So while he's there, he gets into the protest movement. And he's like, he organizes. He's like really protesting.

He's protesting Vietnam? Yeah. Because he doesn't want to go. But his war's bullshit. His chances of getting drafted go way down because, again, they make more changes with grad students and and then there's troops being withdrawn so he kind of puts the math together like my chances of going are because by this time Nixon's president and it's going well yeah 69 so it's uh things are going to 69 was a very lucky year for me what some people say I'm always

living in 69 I see here I came up with a low blow job what look if you're you're if you're practicing 69 it's important remember you're not locked in any kind of a reciprocation. You're okay to just be down there making come time. You can look and not inhale. So he gave up the ROTC spot officially. He's like, I'm not doing that because he knows. He's like, they're not going to pick me.

So a biographer said, quote, Bill played the draft like a chess player and withdrew his deferment. only when he thought it was safe to do so. And the colonel, who had gone out of his way and given in and led him into ROCT, thought Bill tricked him into getting out of the draft. We kind of did, right? Yeah.

Yeah, he's like this guy. And this was Colonel Sanders, right? Yes. Yeah. Well, 11 herbs and spices, and he went outside of that recipe and cooked him up a devil's dish. So he applies to Yale Law School.

At this point, fully bearded, long hair, dressing like a lumberjack, you know, type guy. He doesn't study much, mostly just, quote, reading and tooling the sacks and talking politics with buddies. It loves getting the sacks tooled. I like to prop up on the steps outside of skull and bones and just, you know, toot off a few notes. I'm like you.

So classes are past fail. Oh, I like that. Yeah. A biographer quote, the prevailing sentiment at Yale law was that you truly had to put your mind to it to flunk out. He missed most classes his first semester because he worked on a campaign,

but he still passed because of his amazing memory. Right. So Bill was into a woman on campus, and he would wander behind her as she walked to class. Which is cool, which is, I think that, that has gone out of style for a little while now, the trail, but the trail is a great play. Women love fear. Yep, yeah, the corner, I also love a corner. Yeah, unless you find a woman who has no sense of fear, and then that one's like, hi.

That's a turn on. So she finally got annoyed by the following, and she walked him up at the library and said, quote, look, if you're going to keep staring at me and I'm going to keep staring back, we should at least introduce ourselves. I'm Hilary Rodham. Our hero enters the picture. Wow.

What a crazy, what a crazy start to a love story to be like, he was following, my stalker and I need to know who each other are. I don't have a flight response. a friend quote Clinton had the charm and the sex appeal whereas Hillary was next to him didn't so much

Hillary was straightforward articulate and self-possessed I just I saw you know Elton John said you see your future in the water it reminded me a lot of that I saw her and I said this is a woman who I can be with and cheat on

for the rest of my life what a lesbian What a 100% lesbian. She was raised by staunch Republicans, but now was anti-war, and she was co-publishing a liberal answer to the prestigious and conservative Yale Law Journal. She's...

This is hot stuff. She had been a response to it. She had been like a Goldwater girl, right? In 64. Yeah, as a teenager, I guess. Yeah, and I think now she's, you know, anti-war. But, yeah, I think the beginning of college, she was a Republican Goldwater girl. And Goldwater was a fucking monster.

It was a great guy. So, oh, right, good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, super progressive. A lot of people talk about the horseshoe theory and the red-brown horseshoe. There's also other paths. There's deep red to lukewarm. That's where, that's the path I took. So he spent hours, sorry, she spent hours advocating for children's rights and providing

legal aid to the poor, which is a sign that she's going to go into politics, too. And he was like, sure, sure, right, yeah, a little bit more time. Yeah, that's good. They moved in together. In the summer of 72, Bill worked on George McGoverns, president. presidential campaign in Texas. He was a state coordinator, and Hillary got a job in Texas with the DNC. That's great.

Wow. Just been changing things so positively since 72. They would argue constantly, and they nearly broke up, at one point even seeing other people. Well, to be fair, that was not something to change until the arrangement. You mean we're only doing that when we're apart? I don't understand But they always worked it out They'd always get through it

Now Bill graduates The law degree at 27 years old And he goes back to Arkansas And the law school Of the University of Arkansas Hires him as a professor They're a little worried he might leave And start trying to run for office

But they're like Sure You know he's a smarty pants Sure He looks more like a student With long hair That's going to come in pretty handy We'll walk in campus

How are you? I think we could do some private tutoring Of course I'm also a student This is the key He hung out in the student lounge Hey how great is this Just a bunch of kids going to college

Nothing predatory here I look cool You don't need to worry about my status As someone with power over your dreams I'm just like you I'm just hanging out I'm not fucking every girl here at all. That's fine.

Yeah, there's only one reason this professor hangs out in this. Super weird. Yeah. There was a, I saw this clip of friends the other day where Ross, like, he's like hooking up with a student

as a college professor. It's so funny that like, when that show was on, you're like, that's hilarious. Who wouldn't? And I was like, what the fuck? I think that's why a lot of guys become professors. Yeah.

Damn right. Professors, other professors didn't like his style or his grading system. You get an A if you fuck me. It was really easy. The final exam is we put down a game on the floor. Women only. Women only have to take the final. It's called Twister.

It's called Keyster. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Looks like you passed. It's called Keister, but it's a twister with your ass. Whoops, I'm in you. he was at times so unprepared that he wrote the next exam question as students were answering the previous one how is that even possible you can do it if you're super smart okay and lazy yeah right yeah that sounds like my career make it up on the spot so he is very popular so his family was uh

very much not racist. For all that chaos that they had, not racist, like, super, like, segregation. Surrogation is bullshit, like, treat everybody the same. So that's, like, the one redeeming thing about his family. Sure. So he's very popular with black students who nicknamed him Wonderboy. Strange.

It seems. A former student quote, In the South at that time, whites would say one thing, but their deeds and words were often different. At that time. That's not that one time. Thank God the whites have changed that a lot. That's good.

So they used to be misleading. So here comes a person where no matter what your relationship with him was, he was not prejudiced. He did not let your race treat you different from anyone else. I'll fuck black, Asian, you name it. I'm happy to bring everybody in. I'm trying to manipulate. things on a much higher, longer scale. This is a big tent when it comes to manipulation.

I got a big tent we need to take care of. All right. Fellas, get out. He's not let your race treat you different from anyone else. That's what we call the Wonder Boy. It was a miracle the way he was. It's so funny to think of it. But it just to me, after having done this, I just think like, yeah, because he was trying

to fuck everybody. Yeah, he was probably, I mean, he must have just been severely damaged, obviously, from the beginning. He's just learning now how to be a last pollulator. Like, I think he's our horniest president. Even, what was the guy who? Well, there's JFK, I think JFK and Hoover, but the difference between, I think, JFK... I didn't know Hoover was a horny boy. Oh, Hoover was a horny boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I know there's a depression, but... Isn't he... There's more important things to handle here. I feel like he's the one who was... who banged his, his, like, assistant when she was, like, in a closet in off the main room while his wife was in the house. No, wait, wasn't that the one we did? Wasn't that Hoover?

No, that was, I can't remember which one it was. Harding? Yeah, it was Harding. Maybe I didn't think of Harding. It might have been Harding that I'm thinking of. They returned to normalcy. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. I think he does.

Harding was the horny boy. And he just wrote about his penis all the time. Yeah, Harding was a horny, horny boy. Yeah. But the difference is, is I think, I think they would fuck a lot, whereas Bill was always trying to fuck. No matter where he was and what I was doing, I think he was always, he liked the chase. Every single, I think every moment of his life, he was like, how do we get in bed with that one? How do we get in bed with that one?

Like, that's how it seems. Maritime law. I know, I know two women he met and he shakes here, shake my hand, this is what he does, comes in, and he puts us. hand up to the elbow and slides his other hand down that's like some weird like uh game stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah oh boy yeah it's very like if you saw him shake your wife's hand you'd be like all right look i don't ever seen someone rape a hand but that's pretty fucking close my guy what are you doing right there enough elbow tugs i'm happy to i love to stroke the arm of a possible wife or career lady and I've got things you can stroke and return as well.

All right, Mr. Clinton. Right this way. I'm just saying. Okay, so. I'll never get over what just happened on my arm from you. Yeah, me neither. So he tutored and he helped black students who felt like they were being graded unfairly by other professors. So then he decides to run for the house.

And he hits the road, shaking hands. He's an amazing campaign. Takes forever because he's. stroking elbows yeah it's always stroking the elbow but everyone who's with him he makes them feel like they're the only person on earth right he's just got this thing yeah um he's

winning over voters a lot Hillary goes to D.C and she's working on the Watergate impeachment staff she is also talking constantly about Bill and Bill's campaign staff knows he has girlfriends

around the campaign trail so this it's And this is the plant. This is it. We're in. This is where we're in. The plane is taken off. Yeah.

He was reportedly having sex with a volunteer on the campaign. I'm sure it was a lot more than one. A lot of this didn't make it in the news because these are dog bites man stories. Of course, yeah, a volunteer, a random girl that knocked on a door. Somebody that lived upstairs or downstairs. Somebody had no connection to it all. Yeah, I was fucking all of them. So Hillary sends her dad and brother to volunteer on the campaign to watch Bill.

Wow. And they were like, they were going to sit in a chair across. the hotel room watch bill that's nice I don't mind it you can watch there you go no noises

this is great so that doesn't work so Hillary threatened she calls him up and she threatens she's going to fuck someone in DC and then Bill cries and begs no

tear us apart no idea what that feel like he begs her not to, quote, make his life miserable. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You imagine the messages they left each other at this time?

Oh. Nights and white sat. Never reaching the end. Just what the truth is. I can't say anymore. So she, everyone at this point is like, I mean, she's on the water. gate. Yeah, she's doing stuff. There's like three women out of like 40. So she's like on her way up. Like it's very clear she's going to have a big career. And yet she's still

in a bill and her friends are like, it is crazy that you would follow that guy in Arkansas. Like stay here in D.C. where you're taking off. It is crazy because I think at least it's so hard to think back on them legitimately being an actual couple because it's felt so fake and just for political gains for so long. To imagine

a time when she was like, I'll bail. Well, yeah, they're advanced. He's been wearing a suit since he was eight years old. So already now in his early 20s he's like, well, I've got, I've got a middle-aged marriage. But then

And she applies for and gets a job as a professor at the same school. Wow. Which he was like, that's... Oh, great. That's great news. Oh, hell yeah. I'm going to go to the quad. Hacky with some of the girls.

All the Watergate guys of the senators and they were like, well, we're going to miss you, sweetheart. Yes. So she's not as popular as Bill. She's a normal, challenging law professor, and he's like the... I also like... to hang out in the student union. Uh-huh. Look at the narque.

And I'm going to grade hard. Really hard grades, okay? When Hillary would go to campaign headquarters, Bill had staff take the volunteer. He was banging out back. Ah, fuck. Like a sitcom. Why don't you stay here. I'll take her out back.

Yeah. I took her out back twice. It's also amazing that, like, it's so, I mean, he's just so damaged already. Yeah. why be with her? I mean it's crazy that she how old is he now? What is he like 30? No

28 he's like 28 yeah and but she but my like at this point you're like what's wrong with her like she's chasing this what's wrong with her like this is there's every red flag in the world has been thrown up

I am smart I am an intellectual And I understand that it takes a sociopath to rise. That's why. Quote, Bill would say, go take her somewhere, get lost, and Bill and Hillary would then fight in front of staffers. A friend said, quote, they'd have the biggest damn fights just shouting and swearing. Okay, so that's what he saw at his childhood, right?

Yeah. And so he's repeating it, but she must have, too. Because that's like a level of just like it's only us in the world and no, because they're fucking fighting in front of people. It's crazy. My wife was like, like a couple days ago, she was like, have you ever seen me in your dad fight? And my son was like, no. I seriously thought she was asking you if you've seen her and your dad fight.

That I've seen. Which I would love to have a look at that. No, my dad loved her because she has a Ph.D. And I was like, look at you, smarty pants. A woman. She's on my level. I'll show James the picture of your dad. You keep talking.

Bill's campaign was about saving the working class from greedy corporations and shitty Republicans. Pastors called him a dope-smoking homosexual. Wow. This is Dave's dad, just seen him. What is he wearing? What are you talking about? What's he wearing? Is it a Masonic thing?

Sort of. He was part of the... He's a native son of the Golden West, and in that picture, he's a president? A native son of the Golden West. That's right. had a drinking problem with Canadian Mist. That's not affiliated with the Granger's or something like that? No, they're their own

thing. Okay. They're native sons of the Golden West. Yeah. So Dave is technically a native. Do you have this? I don't think, no, because you have to pay dues every year and he signed me up, but I never went. The password, though, truckie. I'll get you in any Native sons

place. Probably shouldn't have said that. Yeah, there's a hit on you now. So his opponent said he was saying he has affairs with his staff, which is true. It was already an unhideable scandal in his first election. Well, think about this is a small state. And even back then, there's not as many people as now. So everybody fucking knew. None of them were dogs.

Bill loses, but comes within 2%, which is considered at that time a victory for a new guy. That's when I realized we need to triangulate. He won the love of Arkansas Dems and decides he's going to run for Attorney General. He asked Hillary to marry him three times and she finally says yes on the third. Jesus Christ. I see it all. I see someone who's intelligence I can milk for the next 40 years. And then who will then, I promise you, you will ride my coattails to doom.

His mom's not happy. His mom thought she was too ugly for Bill. Jesus Christ. The mom's great. Maybe our hero. They marry in a simple ceremony on October 11th, 1975. For Attorney General, he only runs against. Dems in the primary, organized labor, pulls support when he refuses to sign a statement

to repeal the state right of work law. Look, you got to triangulate. There's me and there's my opponent and then there's Mephistophiles. You say he's running to the right of all the other Dems. 29-year-old Bill wins easily. no Republican runs in the general so he just now he just has to wait for the general election

to win yeah he's gonna win he's just gotta wait that's great so this is still at the tail end of the like some of the former Confederate states where they were just run by the Democratic Party

certain offices would be so he works on Jimmy Carter's campaign Hillary gets a job at the Rose law firm In 1977, Bill runs for governor. A reporter, quote, he looks you in your eye, and for a short period of time, makes you feel like you're the only person in the room. Yeah, everybody says that about him.

I love that story you wrote about me, honey, and I really appreciated that buried lead. I've got something I'd like to bury a couple paragraphs in, too. So he's elected easily, and he is the youngest U.S. governor in. 40 years. Wow. Since the 30s, huh? Yeah.

Since the New Deal era. He should still not be hanging out in the student union. 40s, I guess. Wait, no, you're right, 30s. What do y'all kids feel like getting into? I'm the fucking governor. You want to come over to the Twister house?

What do you guys want to do? He's just got a whole floor. This is Twister. I got a Ouija board that always seems to suggest a blow job. It's a Ouija board with two letters on it. Moving around, hit a BJ.

There you go. Here, let's get real high. I don't inhale. The Clinton's invested $700,000 in property in the Ozark Hills on the White River with friends Jim and Susan McDougal. That early. That's a lot of money. Immediately they did this. Yeah.

And already, early on in my political career, I got seven large to just throw up. around here and there. Where the fuck? Yeah, obviously. Well, she was actually a good investor. We know that. But yeah, I don't know where all that money came from. You know? You're attorney general and you get elected governor. It rains. I mean, she was a lawyer. They did work at the law school. Still. 700 grand

and 75. That's a lot of money. They did take out some loans. Sure. So they formed the Whitewater Development Company because they're going to build and sell vacation homes on this property but the real estate market tanks interest rates go up and the mcdougals and the clintons now have to use their own money to pay interest payments as governor bill pulled everything he wanted to do so he's not just like i want to do this he's like find out what the people think first and then do it upholds at everything

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and just having them ask not to clear-cut. It's classic dumb. Please don't. Please don't clear cut. I'm sorry. Look, you can't build the pyramid of the pharaoh without several triangles that are triangulated. Power is built on failure and compromise. So it's not going well.

His governorship is not going well. So he starts to avoid people. That's the way to do it. Yeah, I'm going to go hide Well, I'm going to the quad Staff is now lying about where he is And where he's going to be He's always late

This became known as Clinton time And instead of apologize For being late He'd rage at staff How dare you be on time What the fuck? It's insane A temper tantrum

Would be followed by joking and chatting And this drove his staff insane Right When an aide was told a dangerous visitor was downstairs threatening to kill Bill. A dangerous visitor. Oh, no. Bill asked the scheduling office if they could. Bill asked the schedule office if they could work him in.

What? Wait. Look. Not to be killed, just to have a meaning with him. I mean, but still. Let's play wild. Let's play. Look.

We're down big. We can just kick him out. I start rolling the dice. I don't know. He says he wants to kill you. Machiavelli said your greatest allies are people that used to try to kill you. You have a break from 2.30 to 3, but I really think we should just have lunch. What if he wings me?

Get him up here. Well, he sucked my dick. Well, I fucked him. Well, I invited him up and made sweet love to him. He's great. On February 27th, 1980, Hillary had a baby. Chelsea Clinton. So he was governed for like 12 years?

He was governor for a long, long time. Four term, three or four terms? Five terms, I think. Okay, okay. Yeah. Just hiding? Yeah, hiding the whole time. Well, there's a, okay, so Cuban immigrants escaped a resettlement camp in Arkansas.

Back to Cuba. And that leads to this large battle with police. Locals get freaked out. They're all armed, armed groups are forming. So Bill activates the National Guard, and he actually handles this really well, and it calms down. But critics use the footage of the, like, rioting and the, you know, whatever, the disorder to say everything's falling apart under Bill. What a time. So Republican Frank White runs against Bill, and Bill seems off.

He's not paying attention when people speak. I've been cheating. It's just not at all him. I've been cheating like five days. I'm all red He seems frantic Even eating is off Staff are unnerved

Eating is off Yeah I'm just having tomatoes and mayonnaise Mr. Clinton You have turned red Sir Well that's why I'm having the mayonnaise I get a whopper And then I just

I eat just the slop that falls out of it I throw the burger away This guy came up with the slop diet You throw the burger and then you eat everything that remains in the package. I'm a bottom of a bag eater. Stafford unnerved that he inhaled apples in a few bites.

I didn't inhale. I did not inhale. Core at all. Yeah, like a pig. There you go. It's like a horse. Right. You guys want to see me horse and apple? Well, why would you?

He doesn't seem well. I'm fine Bring me more apples Ride me One night he stayed until 2 a.m. To win back his high score On a pinball machine After a 7 year old beat it

What the fuck He's out of his He's whatever's happening He's fucking lost it Give me an apple Damn it would have been so much better If he stayed In this failure

Yes God we'd all be so much better off He couldn't handle people not liking him. Right. I look, I don't know what it is. If I go left wing, they call me a pot-smoking homosexual, communist. And then if I go right-wing, they say, I've sold out. Nobody's happy.

I haven't figured out yet how to pretend to be one and actually do the other. Excuse me. Anybody want to ride me on a saddle? So he doesn't know how to emotionally or political deal with the public backlash, and he's heard walking around saying, God, I'm an idiot. Wow. He's far laying around the office. Idiot. Then he became America's youngest ex-governor.

Okay. Wow. 82 he lost. Yeah. And he tries to blame others. Mm-hmm. He screamed at the Little Rock Associated Press Bureau Chief saying he plotted against him. You did this.

He blamed Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter. So he gets a job at a law firm, and he hates that. The marriage is not going well. Has it ever? I think it did for a little while. Okay. A friend saw Bill rocking baby Chelsea while gently singing,

I want a divorce. I want a divorce. while Hillary was in the other room. Wow. Jesus Christ. No, babies love that song. You know, that's an album track off the Doobie Brothers. Wow.

I want a divorce. Oh, fuck. Michael McDonald does the guest vocals. So Bill reaches out to an ex-political advisor named Dick Morris. Oh, fuck. And he also reaches out to Betsy White. Bill said Morris was, quote, something dirty that he didn't want to touch without gloves. That's who you invited.

Yeah, look, I've lost once, so I'm ready to do whatever deal with the devil needs to happen. Get me, Gallum. Well, Carville. I got a text from Carville. Like, there, I've gotten so many Democratic texts today, and I got one from Carvel and I'm just like, man, you guys just don't know who you're texting. Some very, usually I ignore it. Market is spam and move on. But sometimes I can't help myself where it's like, I see, wake up to like, hey, it's Pete Buttigieg.

You have a moment? So for the small number of them like Pete Buttigiegs, I'm like, I will never forgive you for the Iowa caucuses. I go worse. I will be like, eat my asshole. No, that's what you said to me Yeah, no, well you're always trying to get me to join the Democratic Party Yeah, true

But early on when they were doing those I did write back You're from the Rottom Illinois Rodham Republican family I'm a Rottom Republican yeah But I wrote back to one early That was like offensive And someone did write like

Obviously not the person But someone was like Really? Take it easy Or something like that What? Yeah And I was like oh my God And then it never happened again

Like early in the spam text game. No. Yeah. They don't read them anymore. No. Okay, so Dick Morris joins up. Betsy Wright is a D.C. political organizer and she moves into his guest house. I realized that I had reached a point of flacidity in their career and I needed an injection of some dick.

I need a lady in the guest house that I can just go hammer at any time. And she's the long-time strategist as well. Yes. She's a forever. Yeah. I thought she was a golden girl. So Bill Courts labor, who he really pissed off in his first term. But the new governor, Republican, hates unions, so they're like, okay, we'll support Bill, the pattern we've seen for the past 50 years.

You're not going to do better than this. do the math that Hillary did you're not going to do better than this to the left of the right so the labor money helps fund his exploratory campaign and pay Betsy's salary so once against mudslinging

he is now for it quote when someone is beating you over the head with a hammer don't sit there and take it take out a meat cleaver and cut off their hand first of all I don't I guess you got off their hand, right?

Well, it feels like it's beyond mudslinging. Doesn't sound like a guy who does a lot of physical fighting in a personal level. That's what I'm going to say. Hold it up like this and I'll swing. No, put it down on the table. He blames his old, he puts the, for losing it, he blames it all on his staff. He's like, they told me what to do. I didn't want to.

But, I didn't fuck enough of them. Quote, one of them said, quote, all of a sudden, I'm. getting the feeling that for his own well-being, the staff becomes expendable. Voters hated that Hillary didn't take Bill's last name. Of course, and at this time, fuck yeah. They probably were like out of their minds.

Was she still Hillary Rodham? Yeah. She wasn't even Hillary Rodham Clinton. She did the Hillary Rodham Clinton, like late. Like wasn't it already... This is when she does it. A state house member said, quote, Hillary's going to have to change her name

and shave her legs. Jesus Christ. Fuck me. Everyone was like, wait, what was that last part? She got fucking hairy-ass legs. So you're going to need to take care of that. Plus her glasses are dark.

God damn it. So they weren't just evil out of nowhere. It was also done to them. And this is probably a guy on their side who's like trying to give advice. Let me give you some advice. I'm a little old to you. I help Huey long.

gave politics back in his day give you a little vice woman's going to have to have your name and you're not going to want to see nothing on those left she begins going by Miss Bill Clinton Oh she overcorrected Miss Mrs. Sorry I'm single

I'm a single Bill Clinton I'm Bill Clinton Yeah Mrs Bill Clinton That must have been a tough one for her Yeah Jesus Christ Mr. and Mrs. Bill Clinton would cordially like to invite you.

So Morris had Bill apologize for the last term without actually using the word apology. Smart. Damn. Very Democrat. The ad? You learn things during your Saturn return.

You learn things about how to change your life for the better and everyone else is for the worst. It wasn't right. So they do it an ad and the ad causes Bill to drop 20 points in the polls. Wow. But Morris is like, it's going to pay off. Hang in there. It's going to pay off.

And he's correct. So because of that ad, mud slinging doesn't work. So everything they try to attack him for, he's already apologized for her. So Bill then attacks his primary opponent for. being in the pocket of big labor. What? And a bleeding. No, hear me out, guys.

I'm going to attack him for being on your side, and then you're going to come back because I'm the best that you're going to get. I mean, he just, for the exploratory campaign, he got labor money, and now he's fucking. Plus, look at her legs. Huh? Oh, my God.

I'm not going to give you everything you want or any of it, but I'm going to wear a hard hat and play that. game. Ask the foreman. I'll be one of those guys with a suit and a yellow hard hat on and you will say, wow, it looks like he's on my side.

Look at him cosplaying. And I'm going to shave Hillary completely. We're having her industrially shaved right now. We dropped her into a foghorn leghorn machine. We're going to nair her in front of the state. Oh, shit.

He also calls his opponent a bleeding heart on welfare, and he wins the primary. Good God. I mean, it makes sense, then. This all tracks. But this is, yeah, I mean, this is when, it's like in L.A. We have Democrats, right, in every office, but half of them are Republicans. Yes. Right?

Yes, and most people. Or then Newsome. I mean, even Newsom now, where you're like, everyone is so many of the. people who hate Trump are now just like he's so good Newsom is awesome he doesn't use the army to get homeless he's the cops

when I was talking to my mother the other day and she my brother and I were she was like I really like Newsom my brother and I were both like kind of like who wants to just fucking hammer shatter this apart in two sentences if you don't follow the news

about everything that's going wrong I can make you like me a lot yeah I mean so he wins the primary and then they go to the general and the apology 6-ish

I think you know I don't know what year it is the apology video works again in the general and he's such a man and he's elected government I'm so sorry

yeah wow it's crazy I fucked up so Arkansas is not doing well farms are failing high unemployment recession's going on education is 49th in the country nice so bill wants to become the education

governor turn that shit around and his a in his team began a permanent campaign while in office which is to constantly shape the narrative always gauging the public to decide the next thing to do

and it's a new way of running an administration and it becomes synonymous with Bill Clinton and it's one of the biggest problems with the party today because then they're never actually making long-term choices for the better it's just knee-jerk reaction to what is I'm smart I'm a good student nobody ever said I was wise that word's never been used that's why I'm still in the quad hanging out lava lamping wise boys don't get

late so the state is last for teacher salaries some some teachers are on food stamps Hillary chaired education hearings. One parent said... Look at those games. Wow! Nice. She had her laying them up on the table at the hearings. By the way, the beaves the same.

Ms. Clinton, I just wanted to thank you for shaving. Mrs. Bill Clinton. A parent said her kids teacher kept calling World War II, World War 11. And you can see how the mistake could be made. Yeah, for sure. Because in the books. Yep. Oh, no, it's right there.

Yep. Well, it's one in one and one. Well, that's a forward-thinking child. We will get there. Yeah. Sooner than you think. So Bill wants teacher competency tests and smaller class sizes. And conservative voters are like, yeah.

And the teachers association is like, what the. fuck so bill attacks the union and it passes bill convinced huge corporations like walmart to expand in arkansas a labor leader said quote bill clinton is the kind of man who will pat you on the back and piss on your leg that's the way i can come there you go that's not all piss some other fluids mixed inside of that i'm a squirter excuse me In 1964, Arkansas got into the business of selling plasma donated by inmates. God, Jesus Christ.

Donated. Yeah, donated. Donated. Donated. Voluntarily donated. Yes, what good people. Wow, that's quite a fucking statement. Selling plasma.

And they have a huge prison population, of course, this whole time. It's not sold in the U.S. though. Oh. Because the dangers of inmate plaza who have a higher level of having things wrong with the blood. Infected, hepatitis. Early naphton. And then now in the year we've moved on to HIV, right? Like it's...

Jesus Christ. I mean, that is, that's like some teal shit. So... Wow. It's centered in Cummins Prison. Oh, yeah. Yeah? I've been there.

This is a terrible name for a print. That's what I called the bedroom. The bedroom's called the Cummins Prison. What were they thinking? And it's overseen by the company Health Management Associates, HMA, from 1970 onward, which is the year Bill got into office. So because they can't sell them in the U.S., they sell it to a blood broker in Canada. Hello. Type A.

Who then sells it worldwide. Blood broker. And you got to meet him in a cafe in Cairo. He's coming to chat. Everybody's doing hookas. I can't believe blood broker. So the broker is not told that the blood is coming from prisoners. Look, we've got grade B plus blood.

Coming out of Arkansas. We've got so much of it. We are thick with blood. I can't believe how much blood Arkansas is sending us. Well, it's the Red River, sweetheart. We've got more than we know what to do with. So, prisoners with hepatitis C are allowed to donate. Hep C is a big indicator of HIV plus.

So they're also just like not screening for these things. Sure. In 1983, the FDA issues of recall. The FDA is recalling plasma blood? What the fuck? It's not like birds' eye vegetables. This sounds like the hairy lime scam in the third man with Orson Wells, where it's like water down the penicillin and kill some babies,

but who would care? Do you really care if any of those dots stop moving? That's the whole, the whole, that's, there's several scams. like that going on. I cannot fucking believe the FDA is like, now hold on. If you're taking prisoner blood from Arkansas, we have bad news for you. Well, they recall it and they say it's from Cummins Prison, and that's when Canada realized the blood's coming from inmates. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry where? Well, listen. Bad news. Well, I'll not be tolerating this. We thought it was... These prisoners all, they said they had top-notch blood. So we are just as mad at ourselves as you are at us. We had hoped that there was some kind of ethical way that you were providing the blood.

A lot of those fellows work out. They look good. We'll do a make-good with seminal fluids. And I will handle that all myself. I'll handle that. I got a bunch of it. How big of a bucket? So the FDA revokes HMA's license.

To help with the license issue, Bill says they should hire an ombudsman to oversee things for $60,000 a year in our money, who was his friend? To oversee... Let me tell you, what solves a lot of problems is an ombudsman. Wait, people around the world are dying from tainted blood. What about an ombudsman? Get yourself in on Bloodsman. The bill orders an investigation into HMA by the state police. Right.

Now, I'm issuing an investigation from the state police that are my private army. You guys are going to leave no stone unturned, but when you do turn over some stones, you're going to turn them right back over. Another investigation was started by the Institute for Law and Policy Planning, and that investigation found it was extremely negligent hiring staff, health screening, record keeping, and repeatedly violated its contract. Bill State Police found out that there was gambling amongst the employees. Just regular gambling?

I am shocked. It's shocked to find that there is gambling. gambling this establishment. The gambling ring. They had like a gambling operation set up. I bet he's got HIV. I bet. I have 50 on that guy having hep C.

Yeah, I got a side bit here. I'll take that. So, so that's all that the police found. Leukemia insurance. Leukemia insurance. No, it's not terrible. The state police only found the gambling. the other agency found all the other stuff yeah right the state police only found gambling right yeah

there was nothing else going on yeah yeah and then an arkansas state senator who is part of the scandal pushes bill to end the investigation so bill does yep why wouldn't he so since the police found no issues with the actual quality of hMA they got to keep their contract boom beautiful and the HMA president later worked on Bill's next campaign for governor. There you go. It's so great. Look, this is how it comes together. Private industry, public resources.

It's perfect. But HMA gets dissolved when the Institute for Law and Policy Planning releases their report, which took a lot longer because it had all the other fucking actual shit. Right. Good guys are always slow. Like, we're doing it correctly, legally, and so it'll be, we're going to be done after the relevant election. We already figured it all out. It's fine. They were gambling a little bit. Or John Blood on half Canadians? Well, they were playing, they're doing more pie gal than anything.

So they bring in another contractor, Pine Bluff Biologicals, which is just no better. It's the same thing. Okay. They're out of business. They're going to change their name. All the same people are going to work, though. Problem solved. The Arkansas Department of Corrections plasma business would sicken and or kill. It's a crazy start to. It's fucking shocking. The Arkansas correct plasma.

Would sicken and or kill thousands of people with HIV, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C. One report estimates it has or will kill 7,000 Canadians and nearly 2,000 British and more around the world. Thousands were sicken. they sickened other people like it wasn't just like that guy got HIV right that guy got HIV and then spread like it's tons of people getting and kids like people just getting blood like it's fucking horrifying well there's no reason that that border at the 44th parallel should be an artificial border of HIV on one side and the other they can join us in hell I dream of a world where everyone is getting AIDS I'm not going to can't

Canada, they got HIV up there. So Bill continues to womanize. State troopers on his security detail said he used them to proposition women. I remember this. I remember this. Hello, you have any idea why I pulled you over? Bill Clinton's looking to bang you. He's over there.

He's half cocked at the back of the car. This is actually a fuck stop, ma'am. How are you? one trooper said he approached 100 women for Bill in two years wow everyone on his staff knew it's also I mean a cop approach I mean it's just so I mean it's even beyond Bill Clinton being an elbow grabbing

handshaking pervert if cops are going up to you and being like and was he doing ride-alongs in the backseat hello bad girls bad girls what you gonna do hey while we got you pulled over pull it up I think it was like Def Leopard in a concert where you go that one and then you have a guy going to the crowd and pick her out and he says, hey

the lead singer Def Leopard wants to meet you, come back and I think it's that I think it's that kind of thing. Yeah, but even stronger with people in uniform on behalf of a Clinton. That's much weirder. Yes. So everyone

on the staff knew, including Hillary, reading this, I really have to believe that Hillary was okay with it. Like it was It has to be. It was an early version of open marriage, right? Like it was just like, it's

what happened a lot back then where the guy's cheating all the time and people are like, I can't believe he stays with her. It's like, well, she knows and she's accepted it. It's like NBA where you're like you're hanging in there because you're benefiting like she's benefiting from what's happening with him. And like you said, he's crying on the phone if she's cheating or

wants to cheat. No, she can't cheat. So she's just basically like, look, it is what it is. It's like, I'm dying inside, let him do what he's going to do. Yeah. Thank you. That's where I need you. I mean, or else it's just insane.

So the governor's mansion is staffed by mostly, quote, We just had a glory hole installed. How good is that, huh? The governor's mansion is staffed by mostly, quote, African American men in their 30s. Hillary, quote, using prison labor. the governor's mansion was a long-standing tradition, which kept down costs. Wow. Because that's slavery.

Oh, yeah. So our 13th Amendment allows for us to use prisoners to slaves, and she wrote this recently. She's saying, yeah, we had slaves, and that kept down costs. Halladine admission. Yeah, it's really crazy. And I think this came out during her last run. Amazing. It just shows you how sloppy she is.

I don't know. What problem you have with a loophole? That is a loophole. Well, I didn't write the amendment. I just abused it. She also said the men were black and she had a strict policy to send them back to prison if they broke the rules. Wow, that's, fuck. She wrote that.

Yeah, recently. It might have been after the election. It might have been her book. Trump was like, well, she's winning that part. I agree with her there. In 1986, Bill wins another term. Now, he was considering running for president, but he didn't because he thought Chelsea was too young, and then there was all the affairs that everyone knew about.

Yeah, right. And he saw he's thinking about that 88. He's thinking about that 88. In 88, he gave the nomination speech for Michael Dukakis. Remember that? Yep. It was a famous speech. Was it? Well, I don't remember.

That was like his Obama. It is a historically bad speech. Oh, bad. Oh, okay. We are coming together to try to tank this one and be in the running for the next. That's why I have slaves. An aide called it. To do caucus.

An aide called it one of the, quote, most miserable political experiences he ever watched. Wow. On TV, delegates were slashing their hands across their throats as he spoke. Wow. Like, cut it. cut it. Yeah. People were yelling get the hook. Wow. Now, I might disagree

with Michael Dukakis as many Americans do on issues related to budget, social issues, crime, warfare. But I'm voting for him. Why? Because I get to stand here if I say that. Do you have any

idea how hard it is for me to turn down a bush? When Bill said, in closing mock applause broke out broke out so after the speech he is ridiculed across the country wow like Carson like everybody's making fun of him but he goes on the tonight show and makes self-depreciating jokes and plays his saxophone oh that fucking saxophone and enhances his likeability with voters because i watched it he he is just like yeah the speech is terrible how bad was that like it just goes on and on like which is what you want to see at that time, right? You're right, Johnny.

You're right. Yeah, yeah. I think I could say it a little bit better with maybe some keys. In 1990, his patience and peace of mind were fraying. Some think he's in a midlife crisis. He's been in a midlife crisis since he was sick. During an argument with Dick Morris, Bill punched him in the face. After his next election win, he calls Jennifer Flowers. Uh-oh.

So who, maybe their two-year governor terms or something? Yeah, they must be, right? He had been sleeping with Jennifer for like 12 years. She recorded the phone call. Soon after, Bill went to a governor's conference in Little Rock and 24-year-old Paula Corbyn was working reception. She claims a trooper gave her Bill's room number and said, quote, the governor says you make his knees knock. So she went to his room And he made sexual comments

When I get horny I look like a like the cartoon turnip That tells kids to eat vegetables On Saturday morning cartoon Knees start knocking You know like any healthy And healthy male sexual appetite Bang bang bang

He said He made sexual comments Touched her And tried to kiss her neck Before taking out dick and asking her to kiss it well now look let's at least he's following the regular protocols for how you court which is a neck kiss take your dick out and then ask if you want to kiss it this is how my daddy taught me look you might be fantasizing about 69 but let me tell you

we can compromise have you heard of a 19 I'm the best you're going to do take out your dick and ask you if someone wants to kiss it would you like to kiss this little fella I mean that is Six-year-old shit. Is there any other governor you have a chance with? I understand what was the trooper not clear. See what it does if you kiss it. Would you like some champagne? I have slaves.

If you notice right around the shaft there, I got a little tiny state trooper badge that I pinned to my own penis. How about that? So you can stick and pull you over. Watch out. Don't disobey. It's deputized. To protect the shirt. Oh, the snake's throwing up.

There you are. She refused to kiss it Bill said quote Well I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do And he put his dick away Well you're in a room with him and his dicks out Well look I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable Want to watch the three amigos

So that he denies all that When Chelsea was 11 I did not kiss her neck When Chelsea was 11 Bill decides to run for president That's perfect Because that's when she's an awkward teenager That's when you want your kid to be

Yeah right exposed to all this Yeah I mean that's one thing I always say The fucking right wing is so brutal to Chelsea Like it was crazy Oh yeah it was fucking nuts On October 3rd It's a good thing they didn't know about him eating

Those fucking apples hole That would have been a whole Other nightmare for her It's like a fucking snake On October 3rd 1991 45 year old Bill announced And said he and said he was concerned about, quote, middle class people spending more hours on the job,

spending less time with their children, and bringing home a smaller paycheck to pay for health care, housing, and education. Yeah, problems the Democrats have been good at seeing for a long time. We make those things happen and then we notice that they have happened. Those realities exist. That's where this ends, the speech that is. So, recession is in full swing. Bill is a, quote, New Democrat. Yeah.

So from the DLC, the Democratic Leadership Council, which formed in 1985. And by New Democrat, what we mean is the older Democrat that predates Franklin Roosevelt. Back when it was a right-wing party. That's what we mean by New, old. New to you. It's like Dick Gephardt, Al Gore, Bill Clinton. Lieberman, those types. The DLC wants to move Dems away from unions,

from progressive radicals, from FDR's New Deal, and to the center, and more to corporations, so then they could pick up suburban white voters. Is it truly for vote? I mean, they're just corporatists. Is it really, like, is that just the outside just? That's like their talking point justification. No, this is why I always say Democrats are dumb.

I do think they truly believe this is the way to win. seem to be like, all right, let's get away from FDR. That guy, fucking sucked. But they, like, if you, you can trace there the beginning of this thought process to McGovern losing, then they decided. They were all horrifically traumatized by McGovern losing. Yes. A whole generation of baby boomers. Yes.

Was like, oh, we won't be that anymore. Right, right. And they blamed the older FDR guys who were still in office and had been. union guys and gone to congress and they thought well no it should all be run by lawyers and professionals strongly antitrust too yes yeah and so yeah this is what sets it all in motion so he does run on progressive stuff like health care for all any any couple of words you can put together that match what our polls say the people want just say it just say it they don't read the news enough to notice you're not

doing it. But not single payer, health care for all. Nope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not those two words. Bill said people, quote, need a government that offers a hand up,

not a hand out. Which is just ragging language. But he is for choice affirmative action and to let gays serve in the military. Which is also an amazing one. He had an early lead in the polls and then on January 23rd the star tabloid dropped a story about his affairs

uh oh they paid Jennifer flowers and Bill denied it and said she was paid and had been pressured is it paid or pressured um so now Bill um he's on the campaign trail this happens now he's pro death penalty because he's what doesn't want to seem like a soft liberal right and Ricky Ray rector is a 31 year old Ricky Ray rector he's a 31 year old guy in 1981 and he has a lot of anger issues he he was teased a lot as a kid because he had a learning disability and because he's black a lot of racism obviously so during an argument in 81 over a bar cover charge he shoots a guy and kills him and then spends three days on the run.

What was the cover charge? Do we know? $7. Yeah. I'm just saying. And it's already after midnight. Come on. You should have a half price covered after midnight.

Good Lord. I can see nobody's in there. So his family talks him to turning himself in. And when the cop comes to get him, he shoots and kills the cop. Okay. The shame the cop was like, me, the Bill Clinton would love. like to meet you in his suite. After he shoots the cop, he shoots himself in the head.

Fuck. So, medically, they basically said he lobotomized himself. Medically, they... But he didn't die, he'd hung on for 10 years. Yeah, the medical professionals said... Well, what kind of lobotomy? Like the Rose Kennedy or... The one where your frontal point's gone.

He was just easier. He would pay the cover charge going forward. He had an IQ of 70. Which is not extraordinary. like George W. Bush low. So he's totally incompetent. I would not pay the cover charge. But

they still put him on trial and he got the death penalty. Wow. So his execution is scheduled two days after the star tabloid story comes out about affairs. Oh, fuck. What do you know? You lean on some of those state troopers. I've got

the pardon telephone, but I can also I can make other calls. to that same phone line and I say I want you guys to be very well aware of when the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary are I apologize Ricky

So like I said liberals are seen as soft on crime So Bill rejects clemency And he flies to Arkansas To be there for the execution That's fucking weird Rector's last meal Fried chicken steak Peacan pie

Oh but he doesn't eat the pecan pie Don't. And he tells the guards he is saving it for later when he comes back. Arkansas Encyclopedia, quote, Rector's obvious inability to comprehend the fact that he was about to be executed, unnerved a number of prison officials. Technicians could not find a vein. Quote, Rector attempted to help them find a vein that would work.

And witnesses stated that he seemed to be innocently cheerful as though he believed, that the technicians were performing a simple everyday procedure. And then he was killed. Oh, fuck. One prison official was so horrified that he quit. Oh, that's fucking brutal.

And Bill was not soft on crime, was he? Today, the Supreme Court ruled, so if this happened today, that would be considered cruel, unusual punishment. He could not be executed. And that's in today's world. Yes.

That's fucking crazy. And that's this current Supreme Court that's building concentration camps everywhere. But, I mean, they have a line. They're not lines there. They're just keeping, they're stopping the bad people. I mean, they're like, I love that so many people are always like, I now realize what my parents' generation did wrong. And I will not do that as I do something much worse that won't be noticed until the next generation. Two days later, Jennifer Flowers held the press conference to explain the affair.

I'm killing a prisoner of night. Yeah, and I said, hey, is there any more room in that execution chamber? A couple other people have loud mouths. I called the number of bars and speakies. We've told them to raise the cover charge. We've got Super Tuesday coming up real soon. All right. We're going to need one for each state.

Drinks, twice the price. she had recordings of conversations with bill oh he continues to deny it his lead in new hampshire shrinks the saxophone out and starts playing it how about that here's my new song i'm sorry uh his lead in new hampshire shrinks he and hillary go on 60 minutes to refute the accusations and this is a big moment for hillary because you know she is considered this feminist icon, but this moment is like stand by your man. Yeah, right. And her being there shields him

from what could have been a lot worse. Right. Yeah, they started playing that card now and then, but that card only lasts so long. Who was the 60 Minutes interview with? Do you know? Well, it was just Bill and Hillary. Yeah, but who was the interviewer?

Oh, I don't know. Who do you want it to be? What are the names there? Mike Wallace. Mike Wallace, yeah. Ed Bradley. Mike, let me tell you, as a feminist, I have a career, and it's attached to him. So he takes second to New Hampshire.

Now, some staff think... Behind Paul Songas. Oh, shit. Am I wrong? Silent tea. I think you're right. A silent Tee. Or Dick Gepart, right?

I think Gepart was running also. Paul Songas, he's wrongus. he's hot and tees he's got letters that ain't pronounced he's got teas that he's not allowing to speak Paul songus I think we should lose in the same way

that the last Massachusetts guy Dukakis will seem amazing when I'm done God they always just have the worst candidates What was the one The California governor who was Jerry Brown that was when he was the he was the left wing guy that year yeah he had like a blue bus that he drove to DC or something yeah you know Jerry it was like downtown Jerry Brown you know yeah um so some staff think bill is clinically depressed and maybe not

mentally fit to take on the stress of the president what do you mean depressed I fuck whatever I want to, and I smile all the time. I haven't felt since I was five. The only time I feel happy is when I'm calming in a woman. I ate that peacamp pie. How about that? The worst thing about cum is that it goes. And once you have that, then it's good.

Lip it, lip it team wear is what the French say. A congressman recalled a hoarse, quiet bill repeating, quote, I'm all right. We'll get through this. We'll get through this over and over in the back of a car. I want a divorce. I'll be okay. I'm going to be okay.

You're going to be right, Bill. Bill, you're going to be okay. Somebody get me an entire gala apple. Somebody get that woman. He's just looking out of the back of a limousine. Her, I want her. Whatever. Communications director, George Stephanopoulos, was disgusted when he saw stress eater

Bill inhale a box of donuts. There we go. That's better. That feels nice. He won the Democratic nomination. But he lagged in the polls behind President George H.W. Bush and Ross Perra. And then he chose Tennessee Senator Al Gore for his VP. Gore had originally wanted to be Perra's VP.

And the Gore pick causes Bill to pass Bush in the polls. Wow. The economy is bad. And Bill's driving theme is, quote, it's the economy stupid. This is this is Gormentum 1992

Gormentum I take you from third place to second place I'll put it in a lockbox he pushed increasing wages for working class health insurance reform

and targeted investment and he talked a lot about investing in America Bill was elected on November 3rd 1992 and that is the end of part one he had a lot of back channels going like let's make sure ross pro's in that debate

let's make sure this is a three if i've ever seen a three-way fight it's this i appreciate everything you're doing for me there bill and i don't i disagree with you now wait a minute here hold out a second it was so amazing that was the only three-way debate of my entire lifetime yeah well the only way to get it is to it has to be a billionaire The only way to make that happen is a billionaire has to buy his way. Right. And then they were like, okay, well, then the normal fake rules that are illegal don't apply this time. Yes.

Yeah. No nadir, but parole. And this was the first election where they got rid of the Women's League of Women Voters. Who used to do the debate. And they just have the CNN and the guys or whatever. Yes. And then the networks take over. Yeah. Wow.

And then questions got really bad. Right. That's when the questions got bad and turned into garbage, yeah. But before that, the League of Women Voters had great questions. When I was a very, very young kid and then just seeing even in the older days before my time, you would have questions and debates where there were like, this important topic to democracy and our Republican system of government deserves an answer from both of you gentlemen. And they would have to answer it.

Yes. First of all, great shirt. I can see your ariola. And that's fantastic. Oh, fuck. All right, well, there you go. Brittany Cohen Brown did the research sources. The Survivor, Bill Clinton in the White House by John F. Harris.

First in his class of biography of Bill Clinton by David Marinus. Look, it might be nice to put you to put some candy can over there while we were wrapping out. A vast conspiracy. The real story of the sex scandal that nearly brought down a president by Jeffrey Tubin. Bill Clinton, new gilded age president by Patrick Maney, The Life of Bill Clinton, 2004, Living History by Hillary Rotten Clinton, Shattered Inside Hillary Clinton's Dumed Campaign by Jonathan Allen, Monica's story by Andrew Morton, the war room, the Clinton affair, the Linda Tript tapes, footage of Bill Clinton's testimony of the grand jury, footage of Bill Clinton's testimony in Paula Jones, deposition, the style report, transcript of Monica. Lewinsey's grand jury testimony, AP footage of Bill Clinton's address to the nation, articles, how the Clintons went from deadbroke to rich, the Washington Post, uh, 1994 crime bill and beyond how the federal funding shapes criminal justice.

Uh, the 08 race, the other Clinton steps up. Clinton's camp seeks gentler role for ex-president in the New York Times. Clinton campaign advisors, Bill Clinton needs to stop CNN. 99 1994 crime bill did the 1994 crime bill cause mass incarceration the brookin institute is a really great one to cover up a really bad shit that's happened can biden center hold new yorker magazine i know the answer to that article bill clinton concedes role in mass incarceration CNN trump offers no evidence for a claim about bill clinton and ebstein island a fact check dot org confessions of a clinton world

exile, vanity fair, the politician, Bill Clinton's life, the New Yorker, Arkansas Prisoner Blood Scandal, Encyclopedia of Arkansas, the Bloody Truth, examining America's blood industry and its tort liability through the Arkansas prison plasma scandal, Mary Business Law Review, testimony by Kelly Duda, created the Factor 8 documentary for the infected blood requiry. The blood thing is crazy. Yeah, the baffler.com casualties of Clinton. Clintonism, Politico, Hillary Clinton email, monthly review, neoliberalism from Reagan to Clinton.

That's a good title. Remarks signing the telecommunications. Remarks signing the Telecommunications Act at the presidency.ucsb and how Monica Lewinsky saves Social Security on Counterpunch. Hey, Dullop fans. I know you love the Dallop. You love listening to the Dullop. Do you want to watch? Watch the doll up. You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary. It's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. The more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.