The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 701 - Bill Clinton with James Adomian - Part Two

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds with guest James Adomian examine President Bill Clinton - Part Two of Three    -   James dates and specials and merch SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Hims  Mint Mobile  Squarespace - use code: Dollop

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Kiss, kiss. Nope. Yep. You're listening to the Dallup on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast where each week I read is started from American History 2 at Goober. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Actually, I do. It's going to be about Bill Clinton.

And this is part two. And our guest is the great James Adomian. James, you have any dates to promote? plug? Yes, I do. All right. Thank you, everybody. One of them might have already happened. I'm in Columbus, Ohio, at the Columbus Comedy Festival this

weekend, September 6th and 7th. And then I'm doing the alternative show at JFL Toronto. Oh, great. September 18th, 19th, and 20th. That's fucking great. I didn't know that was still going on. That's very exciting. It's back. It's back. Okay. One thing I will say

about the Clintons is I didn't know that they were just dorks when I was younger. Like when I was, when they were in office, I didn't realize that all these people are mostly, uh, just docks, weird social, social weirdos. When I saw Hillary would,

Hillary looked like a dork to me. Bill looked like, it's exactly what it ended up being. Bill looked like he fucked and she looked like she was like a bookworm. Well, one time I stumbled into the wrong kind of dungeon and it was a D&D dungeon when I was governor. and the dungeon master it was the 12-sided die that led

me to triangulation and the third way there was wizards and orcs and you had to make neither one of them happy all right so Bill has won the presidency April 4th

1992 you know down down down down down down do do do do do do you know each one of those balloons

you know you know each one of those balloons I fucked afterwards. The one of her looking at the balloon and be like, that's when, that was 2000. That's her. And that's her in 2016, right?

Yeah. Yeah, but what James is addressing is that that was not the first time she saw a balloon. Yeah, and it looked even though it looked like she had self-lobotomized when she saw that balloon. We had so many condoms

coming into the governor's mansion in Arkansas that we used to have to disguise them at public events and major holidays. Bill, what is this? We're celebrating. Yeah, we would just blow up the condoms and then we would deflate them and use them later on. All right, so.

Her balloon reaction is a top five political moment in my opinion. It is. Yeah. Do! So Bill gets in off as immediately has to face the fact that he can't really fulfill his campaign promises. And he won with like 39% of the vote or something. Yeah, because it was split between. It was a three-way race.

And both, both were 96 pro ran again. But didn't, was, did he, did he not do a sort of Obama-e thing where he gets in and then he just starts stacking his cabinet with the Wall Streeties and then. It's a little different. Robert Reich, like, Robert Reich is straight out of Wall Street, I think Goldman Sachs is where he was. Yeah. And then he gets. He definitely had a. election of Wall Streetie guys.

But yeah, he did that Democrat thing where he runs, yeah, go ahead. This was also back in the day when Congress was like always Democratic. So he came in. Yeah, right. He came into a Democratic Congress, of course, because it was always going to be that way. Yeah. Congress, the House has been in Democratic Hansen's 1955. That is fucking crazy.

When people now think that Congress naturally switches every couple of, Well, it's a midterm, so it's going to flip. Yeah, right. That didn't happen until Bill destroyed it. That's exciting. Okay, so he immediately has to face that he can't fulfill his campaign promises. And one big reason, the biggest reason, is that the budget deficit is a lot larger than everyone thought. His advisors are shocked at his lack of understanding of government processes.

Instead of cutting taxes for the middle class and investing, 60 billion on things like child care and education, he's going to have to make sacrifices. Well, that part I knew going in. We're going to have to say one thing and then deliver something else, if anything at all. And guess what? It's probably going to be blood plasma and more Wal-Mart. So Haiti is going through as terrible violence and upheaval, and Bill had promised to allow refugees to come here. And Haitians hear this, and there's an estimated 100,000 Haitians coming.

So that's going to cost a lot of money. Whoopsie. So he reverses his position, and people are like, well, you broke your fucking promise. So he changes it, just adjust a little bit to say he's supporting political refugees, not economic refugees. A great thing about a promise is that it is a living. I remember that when Jean Bertrand Aristide was taken out in a U.S.-backed coup, and Clinton went in, Clinton went in and was like, we're going to take him out of power to protect him. We've done some great stuff. Like, I think the country that's gotten the worst of America by far as Haiti.

Has to be. I don't think there's any of us. And isn't it all, I mean, it's all birth from the fact that at one point they decided they were, I mean, they were the most done at America was like that's a lesson. They had a slave revolution. Yeah, right. That's what I mean. So you can't have that. Yeah. Yeah, there's a very ugly centuries long punishment campaign that the French passed off to the Americans.

That's right. They still owe France like so much money. And it's just fucking forgive it, man. What are you doing? Who does? Haiti. That's fucking amazing. You actually have to pay the tab at some point.

We've been quite good to you. They made them pay an impossible debt for the value of the slaves that they had left. I mean, it's shocking. Truly. Okay. You're welcome. Haitians are now being stopped by the Navy and Turnback. As far as allowing gays in the military, guess what?

He now says there should actually be limits. Quote, I don't want to see soldiers holding hands or dancing at military posts. That's fucking crazy. Because that's what would happen. Because you know when a straight couple in the Navy are at a military post, you often see them dancing or holding hands. So obviously gay guys are going to do the same thing. Right. Well, what I know of gays, I know that there are.

never competition after hours and I know that whenever there's a police chase in an action movie that oops they go through a gay bar during one of the scenes

and they're always dancing at their posts they are but he also thinks he also thinks that sexual orientation shouldn't be a basis for discrimination so

it's really It is the most Democratic policy of mouth marbly bullshit jargon. Well, I think someone like that... See, I didn't inhale of like military... Yeah. So Franklin Roosevelt, I think, made a great mistake

in fighting hard for something that he believed in. It killed him. So they had a very tense meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff who rejected it. Marine Commandant Carl Mundy said the military considered all gays to be inherently guilty of moral depravity

and we're worried about troop morale. Yeah, and keeping it in the closet really fuels the way Mr. President, we're not prepared to have San Diego come out of the closet. San Diego is the unofficial gay bar of this country and it is closeted.

San Diego's America's gay bar. So, Colin Powell comes up with a great idea. If people didn't have a list of the Colin Powell episode, he's a fucking horrifying human being. He said, uh, the military should just not ask people if they are gay. Senator Sam Nunn threatened to hold up the family and medical leave act over it.

Democratic Senator Robert Byrd. Robert Byrd? Yeah, he's a clanman. He was a clan guy. of the day. White-haired Democrat. Oldest. He was an old populist right-wing Democrat.

Gays are invented. He said gays in the military was a cause of the fall of the Roman Empire, and it would lead to gay marriage and gay boy scouts. And gay boy scouts, the cannons will shoot confetti, the village people. I read a couple of chapters of the only book on Rome that anybody ever gets signs, written by a notorious Catholic. And they blame it not on the currency or trade or endless war, but on the games. Bill still signed the don't ask, don't tell law.

Soldiers cannot be... That goes for women of sexually assaulted. That's a policy. Don't ask it. Don't ask it if they do. Shut the fuck up. You won't be asked and you should not tell. Do not say a word.

Soldiers could not be openly gay, but they couldn't be asked if they were. A compromise that left everybody unhappy. It's so fucking weird. Everybody's unhappy. That's the thing about all these things that this version of the Democratic Party. Yes. So this version of the Democratic Party, you can go through every single issue that they've compromised on since 92. And the whole thing is like, yeah, no one likes it.

Everyone's unhappy. So Alan Greenspan, head of the Federal Reserve, Told Bill, radical spending cuts were needed to slow interest rates, or it would end in financial catastrophe. Uh-oh. Staff are looking for $140 billion in cuts. So out goes his promise to cut the middle class taxes. He still wants his child care and education plans. Then he spoke, he goes on TV and said he tried to avoid raising taxes, but was unsuccessful, and the speech bombs.

and the stock market goes down 83 points. 83? Yeah, not that much, but for then it's like... Yeah, I was going to say, like... Remember when the stock market would just go down that little bit and everyone would freak out? And now it's like, you know...

1,400 points in a day, and we're like, all right. So Bill is hating being the most protected man in the country. He called the White House, quote, the crown jewel of the penitentiary system. I mean, it's so bad they ought to take my plasma. Denmark is a prison It's like a chastity belt

He drove the Secret Service crazy He hated telling them where he was going And what he's going to do Mr. Clinton, please stop ordering Poon Tang from the chef Send up a little Poon Teng Right, so that's the reason a guy like this would hate it Yeah Because he's always on the make

And now he's not on the make Because there's always Secret Service around him Fucking crazy awful Hell. They've arranged it for 200 years at this point. They're like, there are tunnels everywhere, sir. Once he quickly decided to go for a jog, so Secret Service agents had to jog with him in suits and dress shoes.

I remember that. That became a thing where he would go on these jogs with his Secret Service agents. Yeah. So they had to start having two security details, one in suits and one in sweats. case he went for a jog. Well, fuck, I mean, how great is it to get on the sweat detail? I know, right?

So rare, too. He got very annoyed when he couldn't stop his motorcade on a whim. I'll pull over. That one, her. That's a nine. Pull over. We got a nine. Woman!

Invite her to my room, ask her if she wants her neck kissed, and then she could kiss my pecker. Yelling, quote, why can't I do what I want? You're the president. What the fuck are you talking? I mean, it's called public service. man Bill and Hillary

had an antagonistic relationship with the White House residential staff I completely forgot about her or she'll be around I forgot many were many of the staff were ardent Bush supporters and could be rude to the Clintons

That's fucking awesome And they would gossip about the Clintons And word of Clinton's screaming matches spread Once Bill had a small scratch on his face and the rumor was Hillary did it because Bill let Barbara Streisand spend the night. Wow. There was always in a rumor that they're having an affair.

Well, you remember there was, there's always, there's one side of her face that's the side that she lets the photos be taken on them. That's not the side you want to finish on. Oh, shit. There's a completely unrelated stric sand effect that I'm very familiar. Bill also had a very antagonistic relationship with the press that just got worse over time. They were hard on him more than other presidents. Well, he's also a liar. I mean, yeah.

So he's that like, he's like, where's this coming from? Don't interview those women. Press calls weren't answer. And the White House often chose to tell news to local press instead of the press corps. So his aides had to deal with the president who stayed up late. and then would wake up grumpy and then couldn't stay on schedule at Clinton Standard Time is what was called

CST. It's a money and time suck and police are on standby roads are closed, crowds and venues are waiting we have the motorcade route blocked off sir and you get in the shower

can we go to Buffalo Wild Wings I'm clipping my toenails Junior Employees were told not to look Bill in the eyes Or he'd start chatting and waste time I mean he's kind of like Wow the opposite of the Jim Carrey asshole thing where it's like don't talk to me because I am important

Evander Hollifield same thing When I did excerpt on Saturday Night Live He made us all turn around and face the wall when he walked by Don't look him in the eye But there's the opposite of don't look him in the eye because he will talk to you too much. That's what I mean. It's very strange that he has this weird, sad power to make you feel.

He's like a weird Medusa. Like he makes you feel like you're the only person in the room and that is kind of a high for him. And you imagine 200 million people who think they're the only person in the room. Get closer to your TV. It's weird. But he's still. He's the president. He still has his temper tantrum.

which are then followed by apologies, jokes, and hugs. Once he had five people fired and rehired in the same week. This is a lot like a dysfunctional bar. Everybody's getting paid in cash. He's very ambivalent about decision making. That's good, though. He took the longest of any modern president to fill a Supreme Court vacancy. He wanted Mario Cuomo.

Oh, my God. who passed. Oh, not a way. And then he reluctantly was like, okay, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but then an aide was like, Mario's on the phone. No, Mario wants to do it, but he wants you to call him. So then Bill went to call him. But before he did, the aide was like,

no, he called back and said he doesn't want it. So it's just like chaos. Well, just promise me you'll do this job until you die. So he doesn't want Ruth, Ruth, Bader Ginsburg, but he does. She's a six. I'm just scared she'll stay in office until she's dead. Well, Cuomo, come on, there's between, there's got to be someone if it can't be Cuomo before her. Ed Koch is available.

Here's what I like. Cuomo's name has come in it. And Koch can be pronounced cock. Morton Downey. Arsenio Hall, for God's sake. He announces her nomination. to the press and watches her speak with tears in his eyes.

When a reporter asked about his zigzagging decision-making process, an angry bill said, quote, how could you ask a question like that after a statement she just made is beyond me? Thank you. Goodbye. And left. And Ginsburg just stood there awkwardly.

Oh, man. That is the, but that sort, I mean, again, it's always so funny to see like the machinations of where it ends, but that's such a Trumpy sort of like, How dare you insult the moment? Yeah. The view of Bill as a wishy-washy president was becoming an issue.

He wanted to hear everyone's opinion on an issue and could easily change his mind. And punnet started calling him a failed president. Time ran a story on Bill and called him the incredible shrinking president. I don't remember this part at all. I'd cross 250 at this point too. for a shrinking president I sure had a lot of exes on that t-shirt side loaded

childhood friend Vincent Foster was deputy White House counsel he's brilliant and he's a close friend of Hillary but not experienced with D.C. political life and it's fucking hard

he also dealt with Bill and Hillary's personal legal issues so papers would make the occasional comments about him and he said the damage was irreparable. And he started having panic attacks. And he wanted to quit, but he was scared that he would be humiliated going back to Arkansas. And then Hillary was also treating him like an employee instead of a friend.

He starts having marriage problems. He's anxiety, depression. And then he drives to a park like 15 minutes away from the White House and kills himself. It's amazing to hear how he's actually just someone with emotions. and sensitivities is really what the thing is and they were just like but just bury that all deep inside you go pork a nine

he's having a real fucking hard time this is a parade of sociopathology what are you doing how did you get in how are you still here I'm worried about you now even though Hillary is very we know what really happened Dave that's right

we know it really happened Dave the lizard people he was dragged to the park even though she's very upset. Hillary knew there could be personal legal info in Foster's office and doesn't want the Justice Department to have it. What an amazing. So this is, and we know this now because we've watched it over decades, but Hillary has a real problem with privacy like, no, no, no, no, no, you can't know. And she has been attacked, but also she doesn't see the problems that's going to

cause with what she's doing. You know what I mean? Right. clear out the files. If there's nothing illegal in there. Yeah. And it's best for you to let it be transparent. Be transparent because this is what's going to happen. Well, there's probably something illegal. Counterpoint.

There's a reason those files came with us to the district and we're not left in Little Rock. So, papers, oh, sorry, she spoke with the White House counsel, Bernard Nussbaum, and over angry objections from the Justice Department, Nussbaum demanded to go through the office first and decide what would go to justice and what wouldn't. One of those was a file labeled Whitewater, which he gave to the Clinton's personal lawyer. So the Justice Department and the Parks Department both rule Foster's death a suicide. But conservatives start yelling who killed Vince Foster. Yeah.

Because they did rummage through his files. They did. Like it's very, it's like Jesus Christ. It's like a guy. In their mind, they're just like, we know him. He killed himself. It's fucking sad.

But in everyone else's mind, they're like, a dead guy. There's a body and files missing. Like, that's all it is. God. damn so they roll it a suicide conservatives are they have who killed Vince Foster bumper stickers immediately bumper stickers yeah you know the the right wing propaganda machine now manifests mostly in um um podcasts yes uh yeah what's up I'm a M bro guy um let me tell you about alphas and beta and I'm not somehow I'm stumbling on to tops

and bottoms, but um... We talk about alpha and beta men. But back then, like, for the technology, they were quick. They were well-funded. They were.

They had the bumper stickers immediately. It was out on Rush Limbaugh. Effective, yeah. Newspapers, they owned half the newspapers back then. Yeah. Yeah. And it was. And it was.

Yeah, it was like Rush. When Rush started, it was just like a shit-throwing contest because he was. He had like that. four hour block a day where he was just kind of testing out new material yeah um so russia's telling millions of people that the clinton's are lying about foster Vince foster ladies and gentlemen rush rush limball killing deaf pounding oxy cotton my career has really been resuscitated by the liberal regime of bill clinton so can get

Newt Gingrich, Newt Gingrich, starts pushing for an investigation. Short conspiracy films are made about the Clinton systematically murdering scores of people. What's also amazing during this time is that their party, aside from Gingrich, is run by a full-on pedophile. Right? Who? Isn't Dennis Hastert? We haven't gotten him. He's not running.

He's coming up. Oh, he's not. Well, he just blew that. Exciting tidbit coming later. I like that you do know things. He does know. He knows all his pedophiles. Oh, yeah.

I'm big getting to the pedophiles. My heroes. A congressman who is the chairman of the House Government Reform and Oversight Committee conducted his own ballistic tests in his backyard and reported on his findings on the House floor. Wait, what do you mean? Not a suicide. Yeah. Now, we got a.

We got half a bottle of wild turkey out here and I'm going to come out here and I'm going to blow my own hand off to make a point right here in the backyard, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, you can only imagine right, he probably had like a melon and like a gun. He's like, read it and he's like, no way that happened. I'm a Native American shaman here to also, if there's enough smoke, then Vince Vaughn, there is a Vince Vaughn fire here. Vince Foster and Vince Vaughn. Oh, fuck. They've always been crazy. Rain Dancer thoughts.

After three months of working on it, Bill finally realizes he can't have the deficit and investments in education at the same time. Jesus Christ. And he yelled, quote, We are losing our soul! It's turning into a Wall Street plan! Nothing for the people elected him. Who's he saying that to?

He's saying that in the... He's trying in the White House. It's a Wall Street plan. I feel so betrayed by tying myself to them and telling them in private fundraisers that I would obey them and now they're running the show. Who could say this coming?

But he's got Alan Greenspan there and I don't know if Larry Summers is there yet but he's brought in Wall Street guys who are saying the deficit is a problem and if you believe them then you've already, yeah because they've already framed the narrative and now you're going with it.

Well and it worked fucking I mean, the deficit shit has worked so incredibly well as far as, like, being a talking point or whatever. So a biographer said Bill always ends up agreeing with the deficit-obsessed experts. Venet between the parties increases. Republicans want no new spending, and Bill wouldn't cut expanding the earned income tax credit and tripled it. Now, like you said, Democrats, I think, or maybe the Republicans. Republicans controlled the Senate at this point. Not told him 95.

So he still has the Senate. If it's before the midterms, yeah. He definitely has the House. He has the Senate, too. He does have the Senate? Well, that doesn't really matter, though. But, right, but he's... The lots of Republicans have a veto power.

No, it's the conservative. It's the blue dog type Democrats. There's always a problem. And if it's not them, it'll be the parliamentarian. Filibuster power, I guess you see. So, so... So the House passes their version. And the one thing his red line is he's not going to cut the earned income tax credit that he wants to give, increasing it.

So the House passes their version and the Senate passes theirs and then they need to be reconciled. So now Democrats are dragging their feet. And Bill gets on the phone with Democrat Senator Robert Carrey. I think he's from Nebraska, but he's a conservative, Dem. who is a no, he's a no vote. He's like, I'm not going to vote for this. Back before all those guys got flipped over into Republicans, yeah.

Bill, quote, if you want to bring this presidency down, go ahead. I took on the most difficult problem the country faced and suddenly I'm regretting it. I wish I hadn't done it. Carrie, quote, I really resent the argument that somehow I'm responsible for your presidency surviving and Bill yell, fuck you!

If that's what you want, go do it! And slam down the phone. Nice. called winning people over. So they got they got Warren Buffett It's a great start to call

Kerry. Buffett's from Nebraska right? Yeah. That's probably why. So they got Warren Buffett. So as long as it's a Wall Street game. So they get Buffett to call Carrie and then Kerry flips his vote. Wow. That's awesome. Good for up. Is it awesome? Yeah.

That's our system working. That's the system in action. And this spending bill passes with a tie-breaking vote from Gore. Raises taxes on the wealthiest, funded free vaccine for poor kids, and expanded to earn income tax credit, which is fucking nothing. Almost nothing. It's fucking nothing. Yep. It was, I remember living through that where it was like, we've done it.

A means tested, partial. cosmetic benefit to your dad's sister. Hey, here's what's going to happen. Two-year-old poor kids aren't going to die a croup. God damn it. The North American trade agreement, free trade agreement, NAFTA, has already been negotiated by H.W. Bush. but is not ratified.

Well, we've got to support that because it's against the U.S. economy. This is the really crazy thing about their thinking. So Bill is worried about passing it because a big Democratic voting bloc, labor, don't want to lose all their jobs. Yeah. No, it makes sense.

I can't believe it. I did not know it was ratified by George Bush. No, Bush had it ratified. No, Bush didn't have ratified. Oh. It's not ratified. But it's his plan. It's been negotiated.

Right. We've already lost Detroit. How much more can we afford to lose? How about if we Detroit America? Environmentalists are also opposed to it. Okay. And advisors said he would alienate Dems if he pushes an after through. It sounds like all upside.

And then Treasury Secretary Lloyd Benson slammed his fist down and said, Bill needed to fight for NAFTA for the good of the United States. So that's how you wield power in the Clinton administration is you slam your face or the phone. Look at Lloyd. Hold on a minute. Can anyone punch a bigger hole in this table? That's unbelievable. It's like Thor's hammer.

Al Gore was also for it. Mr. President, I knew Jack Kennedy. I serve with Jack Kennedy. How big was his cock? How big was it? And he wanted NAFTA. I shook his hand. So Bill agrees.

He truly, they truly believe. This is where I got to go back to their stupid. Yeah. They truly believe that free trade is a cure-all and is going to unleash the economy and everybody will be working. Sure, some will lose their jobs, but then we're all going to have jobs. It's very AI-ish. in a way. It's like a less, maybe a less fully diluted AI, but there is

this sort of like thinking where they're like yeah, you will lose, like even hearing Elon. That's why I keep saying the word education, because I'm not saying the word job. There's not going to be as many of them, but we're going to have education. So then later on, if you're not the member

of your family that dies of depression and addiction because you've lost your job, then you'll get a lower paying job. We'll never discuss that part how the new jobs are always a little bit lower paying than the old jobs. Why would

you want to work for Ford when you can work for Jack in the Box? Why don't you code? Everybody code. Oh shit. So it looks like it's not going to pass. And then Gore, without Bill's permission, I'll handle this. Offers to debate

anti-nafta Ross Perot on Larry King Live. Oh, what the The fuck. That is awesome. I don't want to be the face of this. Mr. President, I will handle this. And...

Now, hold on there. Now, hold on there. Now, hold on. Give me a second. I want a little ladder. I want a little ladder if I'm going to debate him anywhere. You understand? Rio Grande is turning into Grand Rio.

Uh-huh. Doing Peros. Also, everyone was Southern. Like everybody was Southern. I guess still, you'd turn the TV on and it would always be like, I disagree with it. No, it was more prevalent to be Southern. Yeah. I mean, even El Gore.

Now, hold on. Now, I'm a more dignified. I am. Rich. I own the plantation. I'm the boombox that's running out of battery. I'm like the man that many of you hate, except I don't have as much say. Now, hold on a minute there.

But I stand for an equally low amount of things. I sound like if Ross Perrault was running out of battery, Charles. I sound like if my wife is fighting twisted sister. That's right. One of the best things ever. Maybe I'll do a dollop about that. Now, wait a minute. That sister ain't twisted enough.

The Energizer money, he keeps going and going and going, but if this afterpasses, he ain't going to go. He ain't going to have enough battery. That's sucking, Sam. Okay. Gore. Rossboro was right about all that, by the way. He was 100% right. 100% right.

But the entire news media was pro NAFTA. But to be fair, how could you get through to what Rossboro was saying? Right. Well, I think, I think very similar to Alex Jones, if somebody crazy is saying the right thing, they're like, oh, put the microphone on here. Yeah. Right. To discredit it. Now, wait a minute.

So, Gore crushes him in the debate. he said and after we'd create more jobs than it would cost and he attacked pro because he had dealings with Mexico one time and after the Larry King

live episode Mr. Perrault your response well now wait a minute pro's popularity just nose dives well I mean he crushes he kills pro um and the new

put me in a tiny casket and put me under ground two feet not six I'm coming back there will be a full moon and you will see my tiny fist pop out of that circle. The Terminator has nothing. I am immortal. New Dems really believe that free trade is going to solve most of the problems.

I mean, that's what they're, that's what they think. That is again where I do get caught up. They are dumb. I think nefarious, not fully stupid. I think that they're, I think it's a combination of both. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. I think their corruption leads them to be stupid.

Okay. I think the large plan. has been put in motion already, you know, by Reagan. But then they're like, let's keep looting the country. Yeah. I mean, Bill Clinton is at this point just doing NAFTA is Reagan. This is all Reagan now. Well, they're all Reagan.

So then he gets a victory with the Brady handgun violence prevention act, which creates a federal background check and waiting period on handguns. Yep. The next month, NAFTA passes the house. I look good. It doesn't do much, but we look good. It's a version of bump stocks. The next month, NAFTA passes the House.

Less than half of Democrats vote for it. Wow. A congresswoman said Bill, quote, abandoned the real core of the Democratic Party and represents Wall Street, not Main Street. Wow. NAFTA, of course, would hollow out factories for years. Perra was right.

What did I tell you? But Bill has two big wins, right? They're like, he won. Yeah, well, yeah. They always, the president, no matter what the legislation is, he won. Yeah. Conservatives kept Whitewater alive. Advisors told the Clinton's...

They were not grateful that he passed their Reagan Bush trade plant. That is the other thing. They weren't like, this guy's great. They're like, thank you, and we're still going to keep trying to get him out of office. Now we'll go further to the right and say that you're not right enough. He can't, he can't, he think, they always think that they're going to get Republicans, and Republicans just hate them more. Yeah.

I mean, they do that. They've lost that war. It's been going on forever. It's crazy to watch. Yeah, they just did that with the border. Yeah, exactly. They just did, yeah. And yeah.

So they're keeping white water alive, obviously. They're right. Advisors told the Clintons to release their financial records to calm it down. And Bill was okay with it, but Hillary's like, absolutely not. We're not releasing our records. Quote, these are my paper. they belong to me. I could throw them in the Potomac River if I wanted to.

Wow, that's so weird. When the Whitewater Records were eventually released, you know, a long time down the road, they showed nothing illegal. Wow. There was nothing in them. I love that that quote lives up there with all the great first ladies of history. Eleanor Roosevelt. Mimi Eisenhower.

They're my goddamn. You know, there's probably, that's what you really said. They're my fucking. faced papers, I will throw them in the goddamn river, bitch boy. I mean, it's the same thing as when she had all those fucking emails on her server at home. It's this crazy paranoia. Well, she also knows that they will make something out of so little, but you'd rather that

than... But they'll make, they'll... Yeah, they're going to do it either. Right, yes. They'll make something out of little. Never give them a void. They will fill it. Yes, right.

Don't give him a void. Give them, yes. That we've seen a million times. When, oh, sorry, I said that there, just, all it showed was that she made a killing in commodities in 1979, turning 1,000 into 100,000 in cattle futures. Some thought she was worried that the files would leave a speculation of an affair between Bill and McDougal's wife, which is like. Like such a, well, of course that was in there. That's such a bullshit excuse also like, he's had a. affairs with everybody who gives a shit.

We cannot let people know that I might have estranged. We can't. Imagine. We have a, we have a document that before we go into business that has a, it's a boilerplate

document that says, I will be having an affair and then there's a blank space that's going to. And there's eight lines under it. It's got petition spacing. And the rumors of his affairs are now fucking rampant.

state troopers Which is such a fucking turn on by the way That's my kink That is so hot Arkansas state troopers Are not coming forward with tons of stories Bill's staff wants him to start An investigation into Whitewater

To end it And Hillary refuses Saying nothing It's nothing It shouldn't be an investigation And when Stephanopoul's pushed for it She broke into tears And Bill asks

He goes to his advisors And he says can you please convince her and one said it was, quote, the biggest fucking waste of time. I wonder if there was any water coming out of those tears. Could you imagine it, would you, if someone assigned you the job, hey, could you please go convince Hillary Clinton?

That is the dream role for Dave. My favorite Hillary story is her assistant, Una, who was married to Wiener. Yeah, who Matt Aberdeen or whatever. And I know this from an insider. They sat Hillary down and they said, you have to cut her loose because he is

going to fuck up somehow. He's going to come in and fuck this. After his scandal or before? It's after his first one before his second one. And they sat her down and they said because her campaign's going on and like

he this this fucking this is going to blow up. Carlos Danger. She's a fucking nightmare. And she has to cut him loose or you have to cut her loose. And she's like, nope. I've been friends with her ever.

I'm sticking. with her and that's the thing and then remember at the end of like September that's what's got the Comey files released and all that shit it was Weiner. He fucking came back and all his people were just like yeah this is

fucking obvious um anyhow Anthony how did Anthony Weiner managed to have a weiner that embarrassed Hillary Clinton more than her husband like Bill was like he's a fucking

threat that guy's a pervert he's got pictures of i never take pictures by the way nice pecker though game respect game so uh we have troops in smalia as part of a u.n mission and um after a raid in which we killed a bunch of elders in this warlords clan a couple months later his men down to u.s black hawk helicopters the kill soldiers dragon bodies to the streets of mogadishu 93-94 yeah Worst losses in one battle since Vietnam Bill to an aid quote

When people kill us They should be killed in greater numbers I mean It would take you a minute If you heard the president say It's been a long time since that beard It's been a long time since The Paul McCartney look

And no longer am I and never inhaling. Now it's time for me to not exhale. Well, he wants to do a big offensive, sent in tanks and troops, but the Pentagon and Congress resist. And he compromises there's a surge of troops, but then they pull out quickly after.

You got to. A week later, U.S. advisors and engineers are going to Haiti for the U.N., and they're forced into a retreat by a mob throwing rocks and chanting, quote, we are going to turn this into another Somalia. Oh, well, that's a little much. So Bill now adds new restrictions to peacekeeping operations.

So the answer to all that is real in peacekeeping. Right. Now we are no longer going to keep any peace. We will find what the oil company position is in any conflict, and we will guard the pipelines. There you go. January 1994, Bill's mother dies. He's pretty out of it. He's upset.

and he wants to get it over with, so he asked Attorney General Janet Reno to appoint a special prosecutor for Whitewater. Huh, okay. That's his reaction to his mother's death? Well, he just doesn't want to deal with the fucking... We should investigate Whitewater. He doesn't want to deal with the bullshit.

He's just like... He sort of loses it. He's taking him too much fucking time, and he's like, why am I waiting for Hillary when this could just be dealt with? All right. Also, they may have invented a vagina you can carry around your pocket.

You heard about this? This thing is awesome. Pocket pussy they call it? Have you heard about it? Investigate Whitewater. So everyone's for it except White House lawyer Nussbaum, who thought it was a bad move. He said Republicans would not stop at Whitewater. Quote, they will chase you, your family, and your friends, through the presidency and beyond.

Yeah, right. Republican prosecutor Robert Fisk is picked, and he a couple months later, submits an interim report saying Foster was a suicide. There's no proof of wrongdoing by the Clintons. and Republicans flip out and they want him fired. Right. So he's gone. Lawyer and Bush administration veteran,

Kent Starr, who's a conservative. Oh, shit, that's right. Never been a prosecutor of any kind. He is selected. It came out of this shit. Kid it's Star. Oh, fuck. Our favorite.

I forgot. So now you've got, you've got the Justice Department, the Parks, police force, and an independent prosecutor all saying, nothing going on here and they still go for more right the Dobbs brought to you by square space square space is an all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online how about that have you succeeded online yes I have thanks to Squarespace my website is one of the top five most trafficked websites in the

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Remember to use promo code dollop at checkout to save 20% on your first order. Bill told Congress he would veto any health care reform that does not guarantee private health insurance for every American. What's the difference between that sentence and saying private any health care for her? More words. Insurance. It wasn't health care for every America. It was health insurance.

Oh, right. Right, right. Yeah, he set the reality. of that. Yeah. Health care. You guys are going to love that. I'm a wizard of the Overton window.

And I just slammed it shut on your fingers. And nobody will fix those unless you have health insurance. Now, health care for all began with the presidential primary campaigns of 1988 when Jesse Jackson ran on universal health care, single payer for all. Rainbow Coalition. Rainbow Coalition, and that's when, that's when, that's what got Bernie Sanders all up on Jesse Jackson's team. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Look, I will do my best to get Vermont on your side. The biggest. I delivered Vermont for Jesse Jackson in 1988. Oh, fuck. So the Democratic. Establishment is very against it. They called it too radical, but it mobilized the base. So the base is all fired up and the party's against it, if you can imagine that.

The DLC are very against it. So in 92, Clinton just takes Jackson's campaign slogan, putting people first, and called for universal coverage. Universal coverage. The Financial Times quote, Clinton has borrowed extensively from Jesse Jackson. in 1988 he sounds like a Swedish social democrat but bill didn't want new york times said that like it was a bad thing no the financial time financial time course it's also said it like a bad thing yeah um but bill doesn't want single payer we're the rainbow corporation he wants what is called managed care competition now think about it he wants obamacare well that's a bit lofty

it's a little bit worse insurance companies having control over health care providers and all doctors in HMOs. Oh, everything in HMO. Basically, the free market is going to solve health care. That's what they're setting it up for, for the free market to solve it. Now, problems with the free market solving health care. Patients don't... There are some?

Patients don't determine the cost or price of medical services. Is that an issue? Patients have very little choice. Yeah, you can't boycott a doctor in any way. way that works. Employers mostly choose the plans. But you know their hearts in the right place. The market

does not exist in the health care sector. To make money, health insurance companies have to discriminate heavily against heavy care users. So the White House said managed care would work if there was regulation,

but also never said who would regulate it. Oh my God. I mean, it's perfectly Democrat. Insurance companies and large employers want managed care. Yeah. Healthcare companies, labor unions, and social movements do not want managed care because it's

anti-person. Yeah, right. It's anti-human. Right. Anti-health. And so Hillary is put in charge of health care reform. Bill always said you get two presidents for the price of one. And I remember this whole thing as people were like flipping out about how can they put her in charge? And he's

like she's really fucking smart which she is very smart sure but she's also a Clinton I well she's a she's a very bad politician and he's like well I think we're going to lose this one so we need a smart person in charge of it also it gets her out of the white house a lot which is fucking awesome you can be down on the hill honey baby go down there for a long time don't come back till you figured it out so she creates a task force there are no on this task force so jesse jackson and the the leader of the biggest health care workers union meet with hillary and she says okay they can have someone on the task force wow their pick was ostracized quote i had the feeling i was in the white house as a token unions get 200 000

signatures for single payer so bill tells the task force they have to do something kill workers Explode factory workers. They end up putting in one sentence that allows states to choose single payer if they want. The public option. They want. And they do for sure. State by state, look, Confederate states can have Confederate rules.

And Canadian states can have the good stuff. But remember, this. came out, this was birth out of a people's movement, Jesse Jackson's people's movement, but they never try to mobilize people to support reform because the people don't support an alliance with the health care industry. That's actually what they're against. So there's all this dialogue between business executives, the White House, and insurance companies. Like, that's who's doing all the talking to create a health care plan. Excuse me, the people? They're not talking to the people. They're not talking to Congress.

and once it's done, health insurance companies are against it because they have to put in some regulation. Yeah, I know we wrote this for you, but we still don't like it. It's crazy. So they literally came up with a health care plan that nobody wanted.

Remember when we said that earlier? Nobody wanted it. It was a loser. Yeah. Let me tell you something I learned about triangulation from Pythagoras. A squared plus B squared equals C squared. But if it's labor and business, you're going to square those and plus them together. That's not always going to equal C squared.

Okay. There's variables at play here. So Hillary was told by different people. The only way, from the beginning, the only way to pass health care reform is to frame it as a battle between the people and corporations. And she acted as if those people did not understand how politics works. Well, she also had to stroke the egos of Congress, but she didn't. Some like John Dingell, so like the health care guys in Congress, the guy. guys who are like, we got to do health care stuff.

John Dingell, he sends word that the plan he's hearing about sounds like chaos, basically saying, hey, tell me what's going on. And they don't. Others thought the White House didn't understand the legislative process. The main rep in Congress, who is considered the intellectual father of managed competition plan, was completely ignored. A memo was sent, quote, he could be a problem, particularly in the press. if we don't get him to at least feel we are considering his opinions.

Who is this? Sure enough, he became an outspoken guy against. And when the plan is released, ready to be released in September of 1993, Dems in Congress tell Bill they hadn't seen the plan. They don't know anything about it. There is literally no one to support it. It's really good. You're going to freak out.

You like foreign films? Yeah. A lot of them, too. They're obscure, but you're going to get a real kick out of it. If you can read the subtitles. Congress doesn't support it because they ignored the progressives and all of Congress. So the progressives don't support it because it's a shitty plan. The centrist don't support it because nobody talked to them and they don't know and they couldn't get anything that they wanted.

So when health care companies fought against it and they did a big blitz against it, they won easily because they, they, failed in building it up and now the narrative was while we tried to pass health care reform but the health care companies came out so strongly and it's like no you fucked up and there was again a void yeah and what filled the void the bad guys did they have those um they had an ad campaign where there was a husband and wife yes breakfast table yes that was like i don't like how this is going to be expensive yes you you could just put out any ad like that and it's true in the 90s it's true today

where it's like well I represent an obviously funded billionaire funded fake person that has a what do you know pro corporate opinions at my breakfast table and most people go like oh it looks like somebody I know in my life that's what they do

with the props too every time the props roll out it's like some woman in a kitchen and she's like unfortunately though it's going to raise the place of watermelon and I can't afford that right now and I can't afford that right now You're just like, oh, for fuck's sake, it's so obvious. We're a watermelon family. Yeah.

And then it says right down at the bottom, what's going on? But they're like, they're like, we're not targeting the people who see how dumb the ad is. Yeah. We're targeting people who go like, oh, an ad said something. And it works. It's pretty good. And at least get, most of them get across the line. But if you're, if you're...

Brought you by Coke Industries. If your unions are farting for it. If you're fighting for it? If you're, if your social groups are fighting for it, if you're doing for it, if you're Democratic congressmen are on board well now you have a fight. Yep. But instead you don't have any of that. No. It was just

it was a quintessentially Democrat. It's like Hollyfield fighting a five year old. It was like Hillary personally herself versus the 100% health care industry. And the fact that she said to those other people who described exactly how you should do it that they don't know

politics is exactly what's wrong with the party right. And she had pre-compromise and given them everything they wanted. Pre-compromise. I guess they thought a lot of the times oh we'll compromise and then they'll appreciate it yeah right uh with no one for the only voices came from the right right wing radio radio host told listeners to find Hillary and tell her what you think she was told we're recommending that you track her down and tell her what you think blow dart Hillary and tag her she was told to wear a bulletproof vest to public

appearances now bill's advisors are like you know what you got to back off that veto promise That's what's causing everyone to go crazy. It's the veto thing. You said you'd veto it if it's not 100% coverage. And so he gives a speech and he said maybe all agreed to 95% coverage. And when he gets off the stage, Hillary calls him, quote, what the fuck are you doing up there? You get back here right away. The next day he backed off the 95% comment.

Wow. Health care reform died weeks ahead of the midterms. and hundreds of thousands of people died hundreds of thousands of people died because of this it's so classic and the crazy thing about the Clintons and doing research on them is I remember everything and I remember everything very clearly because of political junkie

and when I watch now I watch history being rewritten as they run for office or do this thing or do that thing. Their history is always being rewritten by people. The Clinton's history. Like so when Hillary runs, there was a big blitz in the media of how she would be great for health care reform. Right. Because she was a show cheap. She tried and she knew the guys to fight. Yeah. She, right. And she did her best and those big bad guys took her out. And it's like, no, she fucked up. Yeah. Horrifically fucked up. Well, and then what you were like you were saying

earlier, James, like the fact that they were running away from McGovern, like that, that. scared so then it really is then the Clintons do this and then the Democrats forever replicate what the Clintons did because Clinton is because of that he is look back on by centrists or whatever the people who buy the the bills are going to go up bullshit they are revered as as a great political family yeah I mean they are like most people still believe that yeah people have a what would Jesus do bracelet I have a what would McGovern do and don't do it Brace it.

Which is tough because I'm in government and I love McDonald's. And it's usually, you know, stopping a war or helping the people. When you said that thing about Somalia too, when he has a right wing

mentality when it comes to the retaliation for Somalia, that I also wonder, I'm like, is that because is that who he is? Or is he, again, an empty vessel who just tries to get ahead of the right wing thinking and he's always trying to get out of the right wing thinking so it is it's like which

is you know honestly potentially worse really so he can go to the debate stage and be like yeah why do we even need a republican president yep i am doing the work of a republican president and yet the republican president then is a fucking psycho who's like look at this fucking look at this lefty loon yeah if if a democrat is taking up the space of where republicans were uh and winning then republicans have to go further right. Yeah, and they just refuse to fight that battle. Instead, they lose, and then they just go, well, I mean, she was just so left. Yep, she was so far left.

She was so left. We can't do that. Communists. They were communists. Bill Maher is just like, we need sensible centrists. So several congressional committees are looking into Whitewater. The Senate special Whitewater Committee chaired by a Republican had hearings for a lot of 11 months.

Jesus Christ. No health care, though. Yeah, Starr's team charged the McDougals and the Arkansas governor, Jim Tucker with fraud. James McDougal had a mental breakdown, and his savings and loan went bust and needed a $50 million bailout. And Bill's opponents said he forced that on taxpayers. Suspicion grew. But Starr could find no Clinton crimes. Starr's investigation was wrapping up, finding no wrongdoing by the Clintons.

What a relief. In April... Turn the page. In April 94, the Hutu genocide of the Tootsie began in Rwanda. And as it unfolded, the White House was completely silent. Bodies literally piling up in the streets, and they wouldn't call it a genocide. The State Department said more research was needed. We're not sure.

The U.N. Security Council voted to pull most soldiers out, and the U.S. didn't consider peacekeeping forces. In July, we sent troops, but just for security in refugee camps. Bill, quote, from the beginning of this tragedy, the U.S. has been in the forefront of the international community's response. Tragedy is a great word to use when you refuse to use the word genocide. And you can plug it into different regions throughout world history. Let's play the genocide hokey pokey again. It's a tragedy. Rwanda, Armenia, Palestine, it's a tragedy.

It's not that other thing. Nobody wants that. It is true that the U.S. was on the forefront of the international community response because there was no response. Right. Exactly. So we did lead that. That's the sweet spot, idiot. It was, yeah, it was shocking.

Yeah, I would expect the ruling powers to have gone, in hindsight, I would expect them to be like, oh, we can use this to get involved and take over the country or something. They didn't even do that. Right. It was so shocking to live through. You were just like, what? Even, even, it's one of those things where you have a low respect for people. You don't think much of them. And then they do this and you're just like, my God, there's so much more craven and awful than I thought.

And they, that happened, like, that just truly happens. in every fucking administration where you're just like, where the fuck are you on this? I mean, because it was, I mean, it was really gruesome. Yeah,

it was ridiculous. It was crazy. It was like, well, yeah. Let's see what happens here. We call it a Senadjad. Waves of desperate Haitians continue to be turned back.

Are you political or economic? Let's have a look. Talk to us. Are you coming here because you can't have. afford to eat or does someone not like you? We're going to do this voice style so I'll have a chair spun around. Oh, you

know what? Your plea worked. I spun around. All right. Let's say, wow, I did not expect you to look like that. I'm better to reconsider. Have you considered that you're lucky or not Tootsie? Bill considered an armed intervention

but the U.S. public absolutely does not want that. The polling told them that. At this A lot of the best things that I didn't do were because the polls were like, nope. If I had been a leader. I'd be FDR if I'm not careful. I would have jumped straight to the FDR wartime presidents. How bad was that?

He's just like, he can see a rape in a bar happening and be like, do people think I should stop? You guys think I should stop this? Well, I don't know if that would be his perfect city. He'd be like, hey, brother. Why am I doing this? Let me know if you're tuckered out. The Congressional Black Caucus wants intervention. So he changes his policy of immediately returning refugees.

So they're not going to stop them in the boats and make them go back. So that leads to waves of refugees seeking asylum and he sends them all to Guantanamo. Fuck me. With that fucking word. God damn it. Jesus Christ. There's capacity there. No.

No. They are in rudimentary barracks, garbage bags over windows. Some are sleeping outside. Inedible food at times spoiled, at times filled with maggots. They don't have enough blankets. I mean, I remember reading about this and it was just like, what in the fuck are you doing? and black people in this country screaming like, what is going on?

Now, someday a president's going to come along and promise to close that place. The U.S. tries to get other nations to take the refugees. How are you? He's just calling Finland. How you been? Well, I'll tell you what.

I'll just sit here the other day. I haven't talked to you in quite some time. Can I interest you? Unfortunately, every country is like, I'm sorry, we're raising. I watched the sound of music the other day. You seen there, man, you got some nice prairies out there. Spacious.

Oh, that was Austria. Well, either way. Oh, fuck. Gore got Bill to set a date for an invasion. So he's finally like, you have to invade. Set a date. Al Gore. Al Gore.

Yep. Got him to agree to invade Haiti. Everything everybody says about Gore when they're like, this shit wouldn't happen when if Gore was an officer. instead of Bush, I really ask you to read about Al Gore from, say, like, 85 to 99, and then tell me that. Right. We would have an American allied principle of the entire Caribbean. So Bill goes on TV and tells the Hunter, who we're in charge, quote, leave now or we will force you from power.

Now, Jimmy Carter comes in and offers to go to Haiti and negotiate. Because, of course, Jimmy Carter was having phone calls with the hunter leaders for weeks. This motherfucker. Of course, he's been talking. Who's been talking to him? Now, I understand that you have a faith in the Lord, as I do as well. And I currently have my study Bible open to Deuteronomy 4-6. Also, can I interest you in some peanuts?

So, Carter goes with Colin Powell and Senator Nunn. Oh, just like a nice summer trip. Boys trip. Boy's trip. Take one more. Let's do silly faces. But it's not going well. Negotiations are not going anywhere.

What the fuck? The deadline. Colin Powell is like, this guy won't stop eating his peanuts. Do you mind if I'll throw the shells on the ground of the plane? Sam Nunn is just drinking in the pool. And Colin Powell. Colin Powell's just trying to figure out a war crime to cover. well they were that was that that's what would have happened yes um so bill sends the planes

as the deadline passes and once the junta hears the planes are in the air they quickly agree and uh to to uh to uh leave and bill gets to the american public that war has been averted but everyone gets credit to carter right wow So Bill promises to get tough on crime. Ugh. It's fucking, this is so fucking stupid. Well, I think that we've, all these adventures have been a little bit too far to the left. Here in my first year in office.

We have, I don't want to be known as the left wing guy. All right. We have to do a little bit in the other swinging direction of the pendulum. By the way, not sex crimes. He signs the violent crime control and law enforcement activity. 1994, mostly written by a Senator Joe Biden with help from the National Association of Police Organizations. It is the most wide-ranging federal crime legislation passed in U.S. history.

Support was higher among black people than whites. Black pastors had lobbied for it because crack was devastating black communities. The act became a tool to mass incarcerate people disproportionately young, black men for longer time periods. States got billions to build more prisons. The Ben and Seder of Justice, quote, for a period, new prisons opened every 15 days on average. Oh, my fucking God.

Oh, my arm is tired from all this ribbon cutting. Look at us. Well, look, we are going to, there's a silver line in here, or should I call it a crimson lining we are going to have so much blood plasma oh my lord canada hey trudeau trudeau are you on the line where did it come from don't worry about it here come the blood it's absolutely pure is this i don't know the i know for example the last 20 years at least the u.s has a prison population that's uh the largest in the world besides some very small strange countries like but of all the big countries and all the developed countries by far.

By far. It's not any case. And I believe in raw numbers and per capita more than China. Yeah. Oh yeah. But was this the case before that or did the crime bill take us up?

This took it. So the crime bills went, look, we finally beat China at something. I mean, it wasn't great. We were probably leading before, but this made it go fucking astronomer. Well, and this is also the governor's mansion 13th Amendment loophole, free labor.

I am always surprised. I guess I shouldn't there's no good guys with any budget. No one ever makes a political issue of how we have the most prisoners in the world. No, they don't. You're only supposed to know that if you read too much, and no one else is supposed to know about that. Well, because it's like scary, I mean, that is, the United States economy is so fickle and fragile, and that is a large component. That should be an easy campaign slogan. I think we should have fewer people in jail.

per capita than China does. Yeah, see what they say. Or even the scary authoritarian China that you're all worried about. Maybe even the head count. Maybe we should have fewer people in prison than a country four times as large as us. So between NAFTA and the health care bill, things are good. It killed off the Democratic majority in the House, which Dems and controlled since 1955.

All right. Those who want to say Bill's reputation always blame the gun control bill. But the exact same number of Republicans voted in 1990 as in 1994. Well, that's a problem. The difference is Democrats stayed home. Labor, right? The people who were wanted health care, they fucking stayed home. because of failure. And that empowered the right and demoralized the left. And that became known

as the Republican Revolution. The contract with a contract with America. And it became then and then it became the Chuck Schumer plan of we go get Republicans now. I mean, that's what Bill's plan was. Yeah, right. But Democrats, and now it's different because there's fewer Democrats and Republicans because they've fucked up so bad. But Democrats always lost. because fewer Democrats came out. It was never more Republicans. It was always, do they show up or not? There's a ceiling of Republican support.

And that's why over the decades of my life, the Republican strategy has solidified around, let's try to make sure nobody goes out and votes. Yeah, gerrymandering. If it's low turnout, the Republicans win. Whether that's done by being unpopular Democrats or if it's a legal thing, illegally stopping people from voting.

They're like, either way, as long as it's fewer of them, we're going to win. So, NAFTA and Healthcare Empowered the ride. This is actually quite depressing, I'm finding. It is. This was called the Republican Revolution, Bill, quote, I set up Congress for failure. He retreated into his own head, and he went very quiet, and his passivity alarmed staff. Man, I'm dying to shoot a load. You ever see the guy that makes you feel?

feel like you're the only person in the world, and then he doesn't have much to say to you that week? That's tough. Yeah. Sometimes I can't even look myself in the eyes. Maybe I need a little pity myself. I mean. So he starts speaking more and more with his old aide Dick Morris.

How you been? Now, your advice is always that I should go to the right. So what should I do? I've been doing that already. We're doing that a lot. It's weird that a Republican would tell him to go to the right, isn't it? So most in Bill's orbit saw Morris as a bit of a sleaze ball, but Bill depended on him for his next moves. And his involvement was kept a complete secret because Morris was a Republican who worked for Republicans.

And he was given a code name, Charlie, by those who knew about him. Charlie don't surf. Stephanopoulos said he was quote You know I dodged the draft during Vietnam Because I didn't understand the fireworks I was stepping on with that one He's called Charlie Stephanopoulos said he was quote

A small sausage of a man Who looked like a B-movie mob lawyer Jesus Christ People said he had absolutely no When is Stephanoplas's Vegas stand-up show Honestly. I want to see his roast show. This was when Dennis Miller was writing for me.

Other people said he had absolutely no morals. So Republican Newt Gingrich, the new speaker of the house, called Dem... Contract with America. Called Dem. I always sound like I have a small road that I've all halfway devoured into my throat. I mean, talk about a piece of shit. That guy is like amazing. So he calls Dem, quote, the enemy of normal Americans with no concept of family.

And whatever. Is there a point to go into why? No, it really isn't. It really isn't. But the idea that this guy is... He was having a well-known affair with his now current wife. She was an employee that... Whatever.

Yeah. On his wife's death, then he's like, I found better gatch. A congressman... And I'm doing you a favor, not pulling the plug. I want to keep you playing. I want you to be alive for this. And he told his wife that he was... leaving her because the lady's having a affair with said she would let him fuck whoever he wants

if they're married you understand can she hear me doctor because who doesn't let me finish in anyone do you understand can she hear who doesn't want to bang newt gendritch oh beautiful yeah a human well i i knelt there next to the bed and gave her a chance to recant her position and she didn't she just she was she was unable to do anything yeah she just she just kept cancering yeah it's Cancer culture. So, a congressman quote, Gingrich persuaded the Republicans that Venom was the way to succeed. He blamed Democrats for Woody Allen's

creepy relationship with his stepdaughter and falsely accused a high-ranking damn of being a pedophile. Well, I mean, which guy was this? I don't even remember. I forgot to look it up. I don't know who he called it. Bill started to get himself together for the State of the Union and relied on Morris and they wrote the speech to win over... In 1995, January State of the Union, I guess.

They wrote the speech to win over white guys who thought they were not paid enough and convinced Bill was coming for their guns and it worked. He got almost a hundred applause breaks. Oh, my God. We are here in a world that will not tolerate crime

from people who are not white. Yay! 21-year-old intern Monica Lewinsky started at the White House. When she met Bill, he gave her, quote, the full Bill Clinton. It feels as if you're the only person standing there.

His legendary charm. Even Gingrich said, quote, I've got a problem. I get in these meetings, and as a person, I like the president. I melt when I'm around him After I'm out I need two hours to detoxify

My people are nervous about me Going there because of the way I deal with him under the blanket Get him some electrolytes Get him under the blanket Get him a scone Newt, nude, nude, nude Come back, Newt, nude, nude

Newt, newt, newt. He makes my tiny Pecker clank around like a metal clitoris I was so aroused I had to go to my dying ex-wife and tell her. He stroked my arm so thoroughly I handed him the other arm.

How are you? Well, we fucked. Oh, that took a wild turn. Look, now, I am 97% straight. All right. Newt Gingrich is one of the few guys that I've

choke-fucked. But no... I choke-fucked Newt Gingrich. And he was in a position of power, too. It's what he wanted. He was the top. He was the top. But, boy, I did the choking. Oh, boy, I'll tell you. We had to bring in a shop back. Two of us nutted so much. It was like the Ghostbusters were in that room. We were like, hurry, hurry, get some girls in here. Hurry, quick. My God, I thought he was a squirder the way that was going.

Lord, news. Monica began what she called intense flirting via eye contact and engineered brief public meetings. Morris came up with what he called triangulation. So they haven't even been doing it yet. I mean, they have, but not labeled. Labeled. Like now it becomes conscious where I think before it was just instinct. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So, it's Bill fast-forwarding Newt Gingrich's plan, his agenda. So Bill would stand apart from both parties while taking ideas from each. What a great idea from the Republican advisor you have. Who could have seen this coming? Give it, give him what he wants so fast that he runs out of things that are on his agenda. Yeah, yeah. But that is so fucking stupid.

It's so dumb. They'll be done right-winging eventually. Then they'll run out. Then we can, well, I don't know what we do that. I'll probably be dead, but whatever. It's so dumb. Okay. But, you know, it's what they do.

So the new strategy in Bolden Bill, and after the Oklahoma City bombing in April 1995, which killed 160 years. We're back, baby. Yeah. He went out 60 minutes to discuss stopping future terrorists, which boosted his approval ratings. Bosnian genocide is going on. Wow, look at this. Terrorism is a big boost in the polls. And Bill finally set up talks in Dayton, Ohio, and this led to a very drunk Boris Yeltsin discussing Russia acting as a restraining force. And on November 21st, they agreed to a cease

fire. I agreed to what? What? I agreed to... Does it still make sense and hold up? okay um huge victory for bill who now looks stronger and more capable then congressional republicans shut down the government over the budget and bill holds firm and people blame the republicans when bill met bob dole newt gingrich and house majority leader dick army he basically told them to fuck off army tried to say something and bill cut him off and said he called Hillary a Marxist during the health care debate, quote, I never ever have and never expect you to expect to criticize your wife or any member of your family.

That was it. The meeting was over. Wow. I mean, what a rude thing to call her. What an insane thing to call her. How dare you call my sociopath, why? A communist. She does not have that level of empathy, you asshole.

Gingrich told reporters he was upset because the, the man. meeting happened on Air Force One and Gairge comes out and tells reporters he's upset because Bill made him exit off the back ramp of the plane. Get out. Go down the garbage shoot. And so then now papers start making fun of Gingrich for letting his feelings continue to shut down to the government. Oh, wow. And they hammer him over this. There's like a famous, I think it's the post and it's like him with a baby bottle like crying. I remember, I remember they, I don't know how it looked doomed. I don't know how.

Yeah. It looked doomed when it was happening. Yeah, it did. Gingrich said he was ignored, but Bill's staff then released a photo showing Bill chatting with him. Bill's approval ratings climb higher with the shutdown. The West Wing operated with a skeleton staff. And that meant interns.

Oh, la, la. Monica Lewis. And it also meant the lights weren't fully on. Oops, government shut down. Uh-oh. Guess we're going to have to go dark and sexy. I guess we can use the strobe. Hey, Monica, you see some candles and some flashlights over there?

The White House just became ski school. It's always late night at the White House now. Is it possible to get a hot tub in here? Ooh, la-la. So... More interns. I mean, just fucking like, should we put more bananas in the chimp cage? Monica Lewitsky is an unpaid intern and asked to help.

She was one of the few people... Unpaid intern in the White House is also fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. I mean, that's fucking nuts. But it keeps... It's not a classic rock station. Well, no, but it allows the rich to... Yeah, it's all it is.

Of course, it's still insane. Because no poor person can afford to do that. Well, you do deserve a tip. So she's down the hall from Bill answering phones, and she thought his glances are flirty. And once she left a room with Bill behind her and lifted up the back of her... shirt enough to show off the top of her thong. That's like raw meat in front of

a dog. I'm going to eat that. Wow. And at this point my reputation, unfortunately, had been devastated so much by these false allegations. By the hundreds of false allegation. A lot of people were

curious if they were hot enough for me to notice. I can't help that I ended up on that throne. I'm not a dead man. Fuck me, I need to floss. Shortly after, Bill took her through Stephanopoulos' office, then a hallway, and to the study by the Oval Office. Look at that. She said she had a crush on him, and he asked if he could kiss her.

And then they did. She gave him her number and went back to her position. I cannot fucking believe that it's so that he gets her number. It's like crazy to think. And that's how he out, like, oh, cool, I'll hit you up. Right. That's great. I'll call you this week.

Maybe we'll go out on Tuesday. What are you doing? You like bowling? You like Tuesday tacos? They got a special. Come on. I've been passing notes to her during Pentagon meetings. That evening, he told her to meet him again.

Oh, God, he's so ready. She did after taking off her underwear. Oh. they met in the hallway kissing and partially undressing and then went into the study the phone rang hello bill picked it up and spoke to a congressman and followed her to quote an orgasm or two he talked on the phone as she blew him but he stopped her before he came saying they didn't know each other well enough wow what the fuck what a I mean that's one of the craziest things I've heard I mean in all of this. I think Vince Foster was killed. That's fucking nuts. What? Well, when you got Bob Dole on the phone, you don't want to have, you don't want to have to go through a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, are you there, Mr. President? Are you there, Mr. President? What's happening? Are you falling, Mr. President? Coming where? Are you coming down to Congress? What are you doing, Mr. President?

Well, you wouldn't know. Well, all right. Anyway. Bob, you know how you hold that pen? Absolutely. She's holding something like that. Who's she, Mr. President? I can only come if I'm talking to Senator Bob Carrey on the floor. Well, the problem is, Monica, I won't finish anything. They met again two nights later.

Again, she blew him while he was on the phone. And this time you can come, because I know you. And that was the end of part two. Oh, fuck me. Wow. Oh, fuck. Wow. It's really getting hot now.

That's true. That's true. This is now. Now it's hot. This is the next era of Bill Clinton. Yeah. Well, this is after he came. After he, I mean, it is.

I don't think he came for a long time. I think that his thing was like, don't come. Oh, you think he was. Was he one of those guys? I feel like he's doing it because he fears what is actually coming. I feel like he was like, Simon is a problem. He thought he had fixed his problem and he was. being a good boy for a year? Maybe, maybe it's, I think it's one of two things. But I mean, we've all,

like, the idea, there is no good part of getting a blowjob to write before you come. I would rather no blow job than a cumless blow job. Unless you go to some pastor on the Sunday who goes, that was the right thing. Well, at one point, he was like, she blew him and he was, he was like, there's people waiting for me outside on the other side of that door. So I can't make it look. like I put a crispy cream in my boxers. So she stopped and then she tried to go out of another door and she came back and he was like jerking off to

finish it. Oh, so he did, yeah, right. Oh, he, okay, right. So he does want to come in the mouth. I think he does. So I think it's one of two things. Can we email him, Aaron? Is that possible? I think it's, he thinks it's not fully cheating or two evidence.

He fucking get his cock out of it. I never had sexual relations with that woman. Yeah. But I did let her suck my cock for 20 minutes And I jacked off into a book Or maybe him and Hillary had a deal Just don't come on him Just don't finish

Just don't finish Just don't finish Just don't come in him And don't come in me either You did it once No coming bad boy Wow Either way

I've been holding my slow in so much I'm right wing Either way it's very weird Well there you go All right That's part two All right Fucking A.

Jesus Christ. It's worse. It's just worse. Oh, it's getting worse. It's definitely getting. He's going to start winning again, but that's bad. Brittany Cohen Brown did the research sources. The Survivor, Bill Clinton in the White House by John F. Harris.

First in his class of biography of Bill Clinton by David Marinus. Look, it might be nice for you to put some candy cane over there while we're wrapping out. vast conspiracy, the real story of the sex scandal that nearly brought down, a president by Jeffrey Tubin, Bill Clinton, new gilded age president by Patrick Maney, The Life of Bill Clinton, 2004, Living History by Hillary Rotten Clinton, shattered inside Hillary Clinton's doomed campaign by Jonathan Allen, Monica's story by Andrew Morton, the war room, the Clinton affair, the Linda Tripp tapes, footage of Bill Clinton's testimony of the grand jury, footage of Bill Clinton's testimony in Paula Jones

deposition, the style report transcript of Monica Lewinsey's grand jury testimony, AP footage of Bill Clinton's address to the nation, articles how the Clintons went from deadbroke to rich, the Washington Post, 1994 crime bill and beyond,

how the federal funding shapes criminal justice, the 08 race, the other Clinton steps up. Clinton's camp seeks gentler role for ex-president, President in the New York Times, Clinton campaign advisors, Bill Clinton needs to stop CNN. The 99, 1994 crime bill, did the 1994 crime bill cause mass incarceration. The Brookings Institute, Brickson Institute is a really great one to cover up a really bad shit that's happened.

Can Biden's center hold, New Yorker magazine? I know the answer to that article. Bill Clinton concedes role in mass incarceration. CNN. Chump offers no evidence for a claim about Bill Clinton and Epstein Island, fact check.org, confessions of a Clinton world exile, vanity fair, the politician, Bill Clinton's life, the New Yorker, Arkansas Prisoner Blood Scandal, Encyclopedia of Arkansas,

The Bloody Truth, examining America's blood industry and its tort liability through the Arkansas Prison Plasma scandal, Mary Business Law Review, testimony by Kelly Duda, created the Factor 8 documentary for the Infected Blood Requiry, The blood thing is crazy Yeah, the baffler.com Casualties of Clintonism

Politico Hillary Clinton email Monthly Review, neoliberalism from Reagan to Clinton That's a good title Remarks signing the telecommunications All title for America Remarks signing the Telecommunications Act

at the presidency.ucsb and how Monica Lewinsky saves Social Security on counterpunch. Hey, dollop fans. I know you love the dollop. You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary. It's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube. You can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome. animation of the Rube, it really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.