The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 706 - Mike Lindell - Part One

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Mike Lindell. Yes, sound sucks. AWS effected us as well. SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Squarespace - use code: Dollop Nutrafol - Use code: Dollop Download Cash App Today:  CashApp As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.  

Fall travel is beautiful, and I'm really looking forward to visiting Vancouver this time of the year. City will always be alive with the autumn colors. I'll get to see Stanley Park, do a coffee shop crawl, and maybe, maybe even go to a hockey game. If there's time, I'll take the skyride gondola for incredible views of the city. And while daydreaming of fall travel, I realize my home could be working for me. I'm talking about hosting my home on Airbnb since it will just be sitting. empty while I'm gone. Sounds awesome, right? While you're off living your best life, your home could be bringing in some extra cash. Whether you're off for a work trip or a family vacation,

why not make the most of it? Hosting on Airbnb is smart and a practical way to help cover travel costs. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca. You are listening to the Dullop on the All Things Comedy Network. This It's an American History podcast for each week. I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my enemy. No, Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Stop it. This is what, these are new established rules as of today.

It started over something very small. I don't think so. I think it started. Do you even remember what it started with? Yes, I was going to meet the hosts of knowledge, white for lunch and you were supposed to come. I said, and then you said you were not coming. I couldn't.

And now you're my enemy. I couldn't. And by the way, I wanted to meet those dudes very badly because I've thought that I met Jordan from that show two different times. One time I agreed to do a podcast on the road that I thought was him. And then I showed up and I was like. Like, wait a minute, all these little details that didn't add up early have no longer add up at all. Well, you were not missed because you're our enemy.

I'm not there enemy, no. Hello, governor. Hello, governor. Hello, governor. Hello, governor. It's a big and spice. It means fun. Hello, governor.

Hello, governor. Hello, governor. Hello, governor. Bang isn't my. Hello, governor. Hello, Governor. Hello, Governor. I like a spicy meatball.

Hello, Governor. Hello, Governor. Hello, Governor. Hello, Governor. Hello, Governor. June 28, 1968, 1961, the year of our Lord, J-Town, Old G.Z. As he's also called, J.C. Penny, he's all of those.

Do not call him J.C. Penny. that's that's the what the kids know that one like the kids understand that one that's a little we should point out we're on tour in the same hotel in our rooms doing this the reason we don't want to record it together is because that would include Luke and Luke means an extraordinarily long uploading could it ever be uploaded situation so what we call it's what we call it's what we call Luke factor we decided to it on Zoom instead. But we're on tour.

We're starting our tour. So if you want to come to a show, go to dollopodcast.com and dollheads. We see you and we love you. I mean, you know what to do. Luke picked me up from the airport

last night and I got to the hotel and I opened up the door of the van and two dollhouse rolled out. Not ones from our fans either. Luke just, Luke's been rolling with those separate. Well, we were just, before we started,

we were just talking about how Luke was like, we got to bring a small, you guys we need an emergency gas thing in the van and we were like okay and the more we dug into why the details were that we needed that was because Luke slept in the van on accident for seven hours with it running in the Rocky Mountains in the middle of nowhere Michael Jane Lindell was born oh my god what happened sometimes Gareth knows right away

There's no secrets. I mean, he was born in the small town of Mancato, Minnesota. Quote, in those days, there was smoking and there was sugar and nobody cared. So you didn't want to do this one in Minneapolis? Well, it's too long. Did you think about it? It's too long. I asked.

Oh, this is two parts? It might even be three. I've only finished the first part, but I asked, I asked Josh Androski to do the research. and he sent it to me and he's like, there's no way this is. This is, I cannot believe we're on the precipice of a three-part Mike Lindell episode. It could very well be, yeah. When he was seven, his mom suddenly, she just comes in the room and she tells him and his sisters to pack up, they're leaving. So they barely have time to find his like match buck cars, his toys.

Leave your pillows. Don't even bring your pillows. They get into an already running station wagon. and take off. Wow. And they were living in a lakeside house, like a Brady Bunch style sort of home, and then they drive two and a half hours

to a trailer park next to a pickle factory. And that's his new home. I feel like if you, this is like an X-Men origin thing where it's like, and then lightning hit the trailer park pickle house. And out of an oozy egg, Mike Lindell re-emer.

always smelling of pickle i've got an idea for a pillow so this is this began mike's sort of lifelong feeling of social discomfort and feeling like he doesn't really fit in right he's never because that's sort of jarring change at a young age he's he's how old he's just it was seven when that happened terrible like no leeway to know you're moving just seven's brutal because it's you can recall it and yet you're a baby yeah and it sets up deep feelings of like oh god what's going to happen

but he turns out okay he just turned out fine so he learned soon the best way to deal with it and that would follow him into adulthood which was showing off he I live next to a pickle factory

he would put on carnivals in the trailer court Well, you don't need to look far for you. He had homemade boardwalk games and he did magic shows. I present to you, the drunken man. No, he's still a child. Don't, we don't know where this is going to go. The woman who can smoke two cigarettes at once.

Late night pickle eater. And the man on the other side of the glory hole. he put on carnivals he even had a freak show that's the one I was talking about quote when my little sister Cindy drank water then jumped up and down the sloshing sound

and her belly was loud freakishly loud none of the kids could believe it okay terrible I'm going to tell you one thing that it does not make me happy to explain that this is a symptom of a child being hungry Oh, he's got Oh, so you're saying

That because there's no food in the stomach That the water is slushed up and down Because there's a lot of room in there It's not a skill This child has gone hungry And yet It sounds like a skill Yeah, I mean, I'd be there

I mean, where are you going to find some food? Like a, I mean, it's not like you live next door To a place that produces it He did his best non-stove avoid being bullied. Once, he dared the bullies to bury him neck deep in dirt instead of beating him up so he can show off his, like, Houdini, like, escaping skills. It's just like a better way to beat you.

Instead, he was almost run over by... No, don't just kick my head. Oh. Instead, he was almost run over by the trailer park manager's truck. When he was buried, they did do this. Yeah, they put him in there. Jesus Christ. Another time he jumped out of a moving bus going 30 miles an hour.

I now present to you my next trick. I am the great fucking idiot. I am the great suicidini. But he landed safely in a snowbank. So he's fine. However, when he gets to school, the principal is waiting for him and he has his mom on the phone. And the principal saying, quote, he keeps doing, oh, the mom, he keeps doing crazy things. just don't know what to do with them.

So they're, they're like, you know, he's out of control. He's, he's trying to be the, the, the, the fun guy, right? Yeah. It's not, though, it's not a way I've ever heard of it, though. Like, it's not. No, these are screams for help. I mean, if we're going to get serious. Yeah, these are, these are, these are help yelps.

So he goes, he goes to high school. He discovers he's very good at math. Uh, and he felt like he could rely on numbers, quote, they didn't change on a whim. and they didn't trick you. So he's still dealing with the, we moved abruptly. Yeah, it's obviously, numbers don't hit mom. It's just sitting in the room holding a four. Yeah.

Mike, honey? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Well, we should probably let the numbers go, because it's almost 11. No, oh.

Yeah. Oh, 11. Yeah, so it's almost 11. So it's way past when you're supposed to go to bed. So can we just lay down? I can turn up the lights. Well, we can do a little, we can, we should. Everything goes away.

Well. Nine. Okay. We're going to go to bed, okay? So we're going to, we're going to turn off the lights. You're not. good night what'd you say

good night so he took advanced but his academic reputation suffered because he was undiagnosed a D ADHD

if you can imagine an undiagnosed ADHD person and terrible at group projects because he is also very shy and then Garrett if he finds his thing that helps you with shyness.

It's called alcohol. Alcohol. Specifically, he got, he, he's in high school, so I think he's like a freshman. That's fine. He got really into peppermint, schnops, and slow gin, which I also drank slow jane when I was freshman. I was going to say schnops. I mean, schnaps to me was a bridge into the world, yeah.

Because it's like a candy-flavored alcohol. It's like sucking Santa's dick. It's a delicious, it's a delicious, just, um, That's not helping me with the, what you say delicious alcohol. It's like eating an elf's ass around the holidays. Again, we're not on the same page at all. Beautiful. But yeah,

I think we're saying that the message from the podcast is that's what we both did. None of what you said is beautiful. Absolutely. I was thinking that it tastes like a-one, go ahead. Jesus. And a sophomore year, he gets into gambling, as you do in your sophomore. sophomore you know

I'm getting so many of these goddamn ads now for like gamble on everything will it rain tomorrow I mean holy shit

and you can and there's all these different apps like you can gamble with us oh gambling's in legal in California not if you use this app

dude you're getting a lot of that it's really it's good it's a sign of a healthy society to gamble on how bad things are going to get

yeah so he's just starts betting with friends over sports and stuff at first. And then that kind of, you know, that's not enough action. You don't get a great feeling. It seems like he has an addictive thing going on. And he moves on to bookies. And he's making bets on bookies.

And, you know, the kind of bookie that would take action from a teenager. That kind of awesome. Hey, what are you thinking on Saturday? Well, okay, we got different odds for pre-puberty, post-pre-puberty. Where are you at right now? How many freaking times? I got to tell you, don't talk to me. that you don't sound like you're done the puberty yet so uh i'm gonna give you eight eight to one i got more hairs than a bunny race let's see if we already bet on how many hairs you have oh no come on

this is like teen wolf but with a pubis drop them wait a minute um he loves he loves the rush you get from a last minute gambling win you know whether it's car of sports at that last minute. We all do. Yeah, it's an exciting thing. Gambling is extremely, there's a lot going on in your body. The problem is it's fleeting.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. And gambling was actually like a tradition in the family. His grandfather, Chuck, quote, dealt so many hands of cards, his fingerprints were worn away. Oh, stop. I mean, that's obviously not real.

That's hyperbole. He's saying he gambled a lot. Okay. His grandfather worked at a saloon in Deadwood, and he hung with Bugsy Siegel in the 40s, and he would just, he would drive around telling Mike's stories about those days. So, you know, romanticizing it, building it up, sounds awesome. That's what I did with Finn and crack. Yeah, that's what your dad and I used to do.

Yeah, what? When your dad would drive me around, he would just tell me these great stories that just made the life stuff. Oh, gosh, this is probably in the first two years of the podcast. Your dad and I would take a lot of trips. we'd had a lot of trips yeah we did a bunch of stuff your dad was honestly a real adventure

he was like a cool Anthony Bourdain you pop you know his his blood was slow gin you know they found that right when yeah he also had a bit of pepper the autopsy he died from a hammer claw blow

to the back of the head that's crazy too it's like if we ever find this son of a bitch that did that. This podcast is really just becoming a, it's almost becoming a my favorite murder about who got your dad. So Karen, Georgia, feel free to cover this stuff.

And we're trying to find out who hammered clawed the back a slow gin Anthony. Because Dave's dad was a legend. He was my best friend. He is my best friend. And he's gone. The fun Mike's gambling habit, but he worked at a drive-in ticket booth,

and with him there was a very cute blonde girl named Donna, and they started dating his first relationship. And then he took a second job at a grocery store where his new stepdad Fred worked, and he saved up and bought a Ford Mustang. Nice. Which then he then very quickly totaled. Nice. Yep, cool.

Yeah, that's, yep, nice. And then one night he's driving Fred's pickup truck around 3 a.m., he's coming back some friends. house and he's very sleepy and so as you do when you're asleep driving you put your head out the window to stay awake and the next thing yeah he said he saw himself like in a third person like shooter video game sort of seeing himself yeah that's one of the side effects to keeping yourself awake with your head out the window

you're going to see a third you yeah uh and then he's standing at a farmer's yard yelling for Fred and he's very clear about this that he wasn't yelling he's watching himself yell right and so there's a farmer in the farm house and he hears this crash and then he hears someone screaming fred and he comes outside to find this pickup truck just wrapped around an oak tree and mike had been flung 20 yards from the wreck i assume out the window because he's halfway out the window yeah it's an easy it's an easy lift at that point And the next thing Mike remembers is he's in an ambulance and he heard the EMT say, quote,

we have no pulse. Yeah, yep. Oh, yeah, this is, but again, I mean, you're awake. Yeah. And at the hospital, the doctors are very shocked because he doesn't have a broken bone. He has no internal injuries. And he walks out of the hospital the next day.

Do we, this is this real? Who told it? Who told the dog? I have a very, I have a very hard time believing that one. Okay. It's going to say. But we're going to go, we're going to go with his, his tail, though. Well, yeah, I think, why not?

Yeah, yeah, this is part of his magic is the crazy lies that he tells. I choose to believe. Sure. Sure. So this starts a series of brushes with death. Sort of, he's sort of living in Upper Midwest Final Destination movie scenario. Sure. He falls into a lake once and gets trapped on Versheed of ice. He's very close to being

neglected once by a, quote, bolt of power so massive that it shut down half the town. He wrecked a motorcycle twice the second time. He said he was on his way to a skydiving lesson where he smashed into the ground because his parachute didn't open at 60 miles an hour. Quote, yes, I crashed my motorcycle and survived a skydiving accident on the same day. So his, just to be clear, his skydiving accident was he fell from a plane and his shoot

didn't deploy? Yes. And he hit the ground and was okay on the same day that he crashed 60 miles an hour. He hit the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just. Paces it together, right? I mean, this doesn't sound. You know what? This is what I think. It sounds like a guy who someone. Upstairs is looking out for. That's right. someone has a bigger mission for this guy and knowing what i and knowing what i know yeah god damn were they right because we needed this guy boy did we this guy needed to be around this guy dying in a skydiving accident but imagine what the world would look like without that guy that's right when islamic revolutionaries sees the u.s embassy in teheran mike quit college

Who gave a shit about studying if the world was going to end, right? Yeah. He moves him with a friend, but he gets kicked out pretty quick by the friend's family because he kept throwing huge parties. Yeah, okay. But although that's what Jesus would have wanted. So I shouldn't say that yet because he's not a Jesus guy yet. He's just a kid.

No. So he buys a van. And, whoa. Whoa. So it's getting, right? Now I'm feeling it. It sounds okay. Did he go on the Rockies and sleep?

In June 1980, Mike convinced his buddy Rick to drive with him to California. And they're going to stop in Vegas on the way. Uh-oh. Quote, when he walked through the doors, I saw the lights flashing, levers cranking, and coins clinking. And I felt like I... Lever's cranking? Levers. Oh, they said lovers.

Or lovers. Lovers don't crank. Well, some do. I've been cranked I felt like I had just entered a giant money factory from that first breath of stale cigarette smoke and Aquanette

I was in love so I'm awesome I like this guy I mean it's kind of fun but a money factory would be a place where you bring in different supplies and then turn into money

and you leave with that money this is not I would A money factory doesn't quite... I mean, it's a money factory for the guys who own it at the top. Yeah, but maybe that, A, maybe that's what he's talking about. And B, it has the vibe of a money factory. He... Again, I disagree.

He doesn't know yet that all the lights, the oxygen levels, the sounds, the smells, they're all there to make you feel like it is a money factory. Yeah. He almost immediately lost every dime he had. Yeah. Sometimes the factory, bankers. you. Now, Rick's not happy.

They're not going to make it to California now. That's quite an update. What did it make? You're five hours away. You're like, well, this trip is completely ruined. Now we got to go back all the way back home. He goes, he's bummed, he's tired. He goes to sleep in the back of the van.

And Rick, I mean, Mike is just upset. He has guilt and he's depressed. and he sits in the passenger seat just thinking about what he's done and then he notices five shiny silver dolls on the dashboard. That was all that Rick had left. That's what he brought with them to the casino.

He still had it, but he's asleep. And look, Michael get him back, right? If he borrows, I don't get him. Sure. Yeah. And he takes it and he walks into the casino and he said when he walked in the casino he heard his grandpa's voice,

quote, Craps has the best odds in any casino. Well, why didn't you tell me that before? Where were you when I lost at all, Grandpa? I was playing money hole. What? Will you throw the money in the hole? Man, tell you what, I lost it all on money hole.

It's really, it looks like it's such a good idea. Take another hit. And so it's true. That's actually true. Craps does have the best odds. It's like the only socialist form of gambling. If you play it the right way, you winning makes everybody win, right? Everyone's in it together.

So Mike, he never played. And he asked the dealer where to put his one $5 chip. And the irritated dealer is like, just put it on any number, kid. So Mike picks six and then he rolls a six. And then he rolls another and then another and another. And he keeps rolling until he's up. over $2,600. And then he actually cashes out, quote, that was the first time I've been all the way down

and then won big. What I didn't know was that for the addicts, much of gambling isn't about winning at all. It's about betting. But he's got money now. So go back to Missouri. I don't know why they didn't go to California at this point. Missouri or Minnesota? Minnesota.

He buys his own trailer because he's got fucking cash now. Yeah. So he's got his own trailer and the trailer park. Now, what are you going to do with a trailer? You got trailer and trailer park. I mean, you make a mini casino, Garrett. Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, you turn it into exactly. Yep.

Like, because I think all of our favorite memories of trial that are going to a trailer park mini casino. Without question. Best odds. And now he is wagering hundreds or thousands of dollars at a time. on credit, regardless of what, is in his bank account. At his trailer park casino? No, that's on the side.

And then he goes into actual casinos. Yeah. Well, he's betting with bookies. Oh, right. Of course. Right. Yep. Now, in June 1981, he's down about 12 grand.

Where's grandpa? Sorry, I've been so derelict. Oh, shit. I said craps. Uh, that's about 40. 2,000 today. Fuck. He's 20 years old.

Good. Good. And the day he was scheduled to repay it, he just doesn't. And he goes into work at the grocery store and went to see his manager. And he grabs his manager by the caller and said, quote, you have to do me a favor. If you see anybody that looks like a mafia type, let me know. At a grocery store job. Which is a great thing to hear from an employee. Yeah, absolutely.

if the mob's here you never saw me so they had like a little code and less than an hour later over the intercom I heard I would be like hey get the fuck out of this grocery store what about not working here I don't want the mob coming in here you know what how about this instead of coming up with a cute little single for what I see

the mob go so over the over the intercom he hears Mike telephone line three and that's the code The mobs here. Mobb's inside. Mike, the mob in I-O-5. He just bolts, goes back to the trailer park,

and then he hides in a friend's trailer until midnight. Nice. And then after that, he goes back to his trailer, and he hides there. He's like, just windows closed, you know, all that stuff. And just before dawn, he hears someone come. So he hides in the closet, and someone tries the door and is looking in the windows.

The mob is so weak. Not that great, yeah. And what are we going to do? I tell you what, this door is pretty locked, boss. I suppose we can't do anything. I mean, if there was some way to get to a trailer park door, but it's like... The screen door has got the little extra lock on the handle, so I don't know if we're going to be able to get in.

God, this guy's thought of everything. So he hides in the closet for hours after it sounds like they left. He's just so scared. and then he finally comes out in the morning and outside in front of the door is a hearty's bag with writing on it. Carl's Jr., for those of you who've never traveled.

Quote, Mike came to get our money. Booky was with me. Physical force may be needed. Call me. Because here's the thing about the mob. They always use terms like physical force. Yeah.

And they communicate a lot of times through Hardee's. They do. That's like their main thing. Any time they're going to go to maybe rough someone up, they get a Hardee's bag just in case the person is not there. Hey, should I say it's from us? Absolutely. We're all going to sign it like a get well card.

So Mike decides the way out of this is to get a bank loan. And he goes to the bank and he is completely honest with the banker. What? The bankers, like, okay. He was.

Well, I've lost money to some bad guys with some betting and I need cash right away. I got to have $12,000. And he got it. Is this before J.G. Wentworth? Yes. You got it 15 minutes. I made a lot of bad bets and my bookie will kill me. Oh, J.G. Wentworth.

It's just so obviously fake. But you got to let him cook. I'm sure I'm sure there's a grain of truth in here somewhere Well that's what happens though He's told this story 800 times now So this is what happened with Brian Williams He was telling that story about how an RPG was being like shot It's like they told it a few times

Nobody was like bullshit And then so by the end they're like Yeah that's exactly what this is So it gets the money and he arranges to do the drop-off with the mob, bookie, whatever, at a mall. And he said, a short little fat man he'd never seen just casually walked up to him and just happily took the envelope. So he got away with it.

That'd be so fucking great if after all that, they're like, all right, so a guy's on his way in. Wait, but I just gave it to a fat guy. Yeah, he's not with us. So, of course, he learns nothing. because he really didn't get harmed in this, except his credit's probably buck. Well. Although I don't think they had credit back then.

I don't think they had credit in that. Going to a bank for bookie fees. Pretty great. Pretty great. So about two years later, he now owes $25,000 to even worse mobsters. And this time he handles that by just getting shit. shit-faced and just sleeping on other people's couches and never gone home.

And then one day he thought it would be safe to spend some time with his mom and stepdad and he's got a 10 and 13-year-old half, like siblings, and the phone rings. Quote, we know you don't care about yourself, but you're living with a pretty nice family. Oh, no. So they sound like a really bad movie version of a monster. Yeah. So he drops the phone, he says he's crying, and he lets out a guttural howl and collapses, and then he lays in a fetal position.

And then he starts to think. And he's like, oh, my God, if they called, they're on their way here. By the way, this floor is so uncomfortable. My neck is all. I don't like sleeping here. I just wish there was a better way to sleep on something so hard. He runs to his car. and he has to go through the passenger side window

because the driver's side is jammed. He can't open it. A lot of people have been. That used to be very common. It was so funny. I was always like, no, no, no, no. We're right side car only, my man. And then he went straight to a liquor store.

He bought a case of beer, and he just drove around all night, just drinking the case in a total panic, trying to figure out what to do. And he decided, he decided, quote, just break into a place and wait there to get arrested. So then he'll be in jail. And he says, at least I will think,

they will think I try to get the money and I'll be safe in jail. Break into like a business. Yeah, well, yeah, like pretend you're going to rob something. Right.

Okay. So it goes to a gas station and he walks in and he goes to the cash register and he grabs some checks and then he waits. And then he realized there's an employee crouched in the corner just like trembling. It's a cell.

This is so fucking, I mean, Jesus Christ. Don't you wonder what actually happened? But yeah, he's hiding in the corner trembling. So Mike runs to his car and mostly out of shock. He threw the checks in the air and then just fucking takes off. And as he's pulling out,

he almost slams right into a cop car and speeds off. And he ends up leaving the cops on a high-speed chase through St. Peter, Minnesota and after five minutes he uh hits a curb uh pops all four tires and he has to try to climb out of the passenger window I'm not trying to flag everything but pops all four tires yeah I know there's some problems that's pretty difficult to do or crashed it like but yeah it's pretty hard to pop all four four unless you're my buddy Oren who went the wrong way over those spikes exiting a parking garage and as soon as he told

the group I'd replace all four tires we were like it's crazy and then we all were like wait so you went over it with two and then kept going he was like yeah I didn't realize what's happening we're like what so he comes to in a jail cell

and his dad is there to bail him out his OG dad who he had not seen for 20 years but his OG dad's like yeah i don't care and he just sends mike back home so his o g dad bales him out yeah how does he know he's there i don't know because it was on the news so maybe he saw oh okay sure okay so uh now because it's on the news all of southern minnesota knows and mike goes into his local bar and the owner looks him and goes quote mike you need to leave town

you're never, ever going to live in this town. So he's charged with a DUI fleeing the police and felony theft. Plus, he still owes the money to the mafia. That hasn't changed. The 25. Yeah. He tries to go to the bank to get a loan. He probably was like, well, you're my last resort, but I'm not going to lie.

It's bookie fees. They're like, what? Yeah, last time the gentleman just let me get all the stuff on. out. So this time it's twice as much. You still owe us $14,000. I don't have it. I know, but we're not going to give you another loan. Oh, hold on.

Hey, Bob, it's me, Mike. I need to borrow $12,000 to repay the bank. It's 14 now because of interest. 14 because of interest. The bank's on my ass. So if you loan me that, then I can get that, then I can go back to the bank, and then I can see if they could float me the money that I owe you.

No. Hold on. Hey, bank, it's me, Mike Liddell. So talk to the mob. They're not going to give me the 14 grand. Kada, I owe him 25. So in order to get your 14, I'm thinking, you give me the 25, then I pay them back. Then I can ask them for the 14.

Boy, I love numbers. Then I can get the 14, and then I'll come back here, and then I can probably pay you back your money. But then I'm going to need to borrow 14 to go pay them back. I feel like you just like saying numbers, and that's all that's really going on. Okay, so I just thought. talk to the bank, mom. So look, they're not going to give me the 14 or the 25. And I know I owe you the 14. I owe you the 25. They're not going to give me the 14. What I'm thinking is you'll just

fill up a Hardee's bag with as much cash as possible. I'll go home. I'll count it. Then I'll be go to the bank. Probably get the money out of them. It could be 14,000. It could be 15,000. It could be 12,000. It could be $8,38.28.22. Oh, numbers. Oh, yeah. No, no. Oh, just feeling so rowdy. You know, my favorite number? No. Self-69.

That's where you're 69 and you're on. No, we're right. If you think about that, that's not, okay. You ever had a reverse Blumpkin? No. It's pretty fucking gross. You want to know what it is specifically? no

okay I'm not going to tell you because it is really bad I'm not going to tell you because it is really bad did you spit take a little bit I drank right it's good enough

I really shouldn't it drink right then uh quote part of our decision on giving alone is based on moral character, so they're not going to do that. Yeah, I mean, good Lord. But Mike's plan to get arrested so you don't get your legs, you know, broke with the mafia. It kind of works. They kept their distance because they know that everyone's watching him now.

Like, you know what I mean? Like he's. Genius. Sort of version of famous in the area. So Mike knows they're bidding their time. And at his court date, he said a woman leaned over to the defense table and handed Mike a note that said, quote, you're doing a good job. don't give anyone our names.

Wait, wait, who said that? Mike said that at, he's at court and a woman, random woman hands him a note that says you're doing a good job, don't give anyone our names. Like the mob's gonna fucking too. Oh, the mob.

Oh, okay, right, okay. That's hilarious. That's so fucking dumb. Do you have our buddy? Check yasser doll. The dollup is brought to you by Cash. Uh, yes. Gareth, uh, the cash app, of course, is, what does it sound like?

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I'm into me. He's a white suburban man in the 1980s, so he pleads guilty to misdemeanor theft and a DUI, and he gets five years probation. And then a few weekends of work release. so then his book he gets pop for counterfeiting and gets 30 years that's great that's awesome so he's in the clear and now he can tell people why he did the crime he's not like a just a dirty little thief he was a pathetic gambling addict and that's why he did it oh his grandma said quote oh mike i knew there was something behind that i knew that wasn't who you really were i love that

excuse. I'm not a bank robber. I'm a degenerate gambler who's also a thief. They're like, I knew he had a heart of gold. Good boy. He's the best. Mike had spent a lot of money trying to start a feeder pig operation. A what? Right before a feeder pig operation? Uh-huh. Feeder pigs? Yeah. Uh, right before the bottom fell out.

Sure. So he owed the bank $4,000 for the pig situation. Or for the pigs. And he realizes he could use his natural math ability for good. Learn how to count cards in Vegas. All right. Yeah, definitely two. Definitely too.

There's a lot of queads left at that deck. So this is not for fun. It's business. Sure. And he promised himself he wouldn't get fucked up. He would just hop from casino and casino, make him $300 a night, and then send it to his mom. But one night, he gets kicked off a table by a pit boss who notices that he's counting cards. How do you know someone's counting cards?

I don't know. That was my first thought. Like, if you're on a hot street, why wouldn't every pit boss anytime some guys up, be like, get the fuck out of here. We know what you're doing. But I think they do that sometimes. but how do you like Rain Man I think is

real it's a documentary that's a documentary about Dustin Hoffman before he became an actor but but but I don't I wonder like how you can

I mean even if you're watching it's like you know anyone who's intently serious watching everything you'd be like he's counting cards and why is that illegal that should be legal

I don't know it's such a weird one to just be like why yeah why can't you count cards hey hey hey Hey, you, you're too smart. Get the fuck out of it. No, no, no. Hey, you figured out how to win.

And we don't like that. There are some gentleman's rules here in this nightmare of poverty creation. You're not allowed to count cards. You're not allowed to count cards or win real big. So he, after that happens, he goes to a bank. He had a slot machines, and he's playing three slot machines at once. You're counting levers. Get out of here.

And then this dude comes up with his parents, and they ask, hey, can he play one of the slots? And it's his 21st birthday, and so Mike's like, yeah, sure. And on the kid's first pull, the machine starts going crazy, sirens. And he had won the jackpoint, 1.5 million. Have you ever been in a casino where, like, you've won on, like, I'm really. the only thing I ever play anymore is slots, if anything. But I've had it before we're like, I've hit, and then like some weirdo like three machines over.

It's not a year. That was my machine. Yeah, I've had that. What? Yeah. That was my machine. I was where I. I didn't have left it.

I'd work in that way for six hours. And then you came over, did you got it? I feel like I had my friend. Me or my friend had this work. I think it was my friend. He won. And then this guy came over and was like, I just left for two minutes to go to the bathroom.

like he was all maddie i'm sorry well you know we both know someone who we won't name who won like one and a half million dollars playing the penny slots one million whatever it was but it was like that person like one he doesn't have it anymore well it's a real mike lindell story he goes i ever told you my college story when i didn't have of money to pay rent the last month? No. My rent was $300. Everyone just shit blood when I said that. My rent was $300

and it was the last my very, very last semester in college. And I was just telling my friends, I had $38 and they were like, let's go to Vegas. What's the fucking difference? All right. So we literally piled in

his car at midnight and drove to Vegas, got there kind of late because there were some stops. and uh i got $10 in coins and went down to the casino because we got a room i went down the casino i put three in nothing three and nothing three in i won three hundred dollars and i just put it all in the cup and went okay i'm done and they just went to the room and slapped and paid my rent that's just the uh did i ever tell you about the story where i uh my friend needed three hundred dollars and uh so he took the money and uh we lost every

everything of Vegas, and then the mob shot, made him dig his own grave and killed him in the desert. Oh, yeah, you said that. It's so funny. That's just being young. Yeah. I wish it was like a moral to it, you know. Don't make friends of a guy named Rick. Yeah.

So, so Mike leaves the casino just, like, tormented, right? This kid won his money. And somehow, he, he stayed. the course. He keeps counting cards and over 40 days he wanted enough money to pay off the pig money and everyone he owed. So he's out of debt by gambling or counting cards. By 1984, he's living on a friend's couch and he's drinking and he's gambling. That's his life. But his friends get into this new thing that everyone's doing called cocaine. Mike's never done it. He didn't really like at that point being around people on drugs. He found them very

annoying um that holds but still depressed by the judgment he feels from the people in town mike told his roommate one morning that he didn't feel like doing a dang thing and his roommate pointed at a small pile of coke on a mirror and said try doing some of that well to be fair is true now you're going to feel like doing something and more cocaine now that was a rock oh So he puts a rock of coke in his mouth between his cheek and gum in a rush of euphoria. He's treating it like a zinz? Yeah, that's what I do. A rush of euphoria, euphoria instantly shot through his entire being.

And he grabbed the straw and vacuumed up everything that was left. Quote, that day, cocaine became my new best friend. Not only did it match. Go ahead. Go ahead. Not only did it mass my pain, it made me feel like I could conquer the world. Yeah, then we're going to, like, find a different kind of. I did goose feather.

And we're going to put it in a pillow. And I'm going to call it my pillow. Well, he gets a job as a janitor at a drive-in and made enough for Chevy Suburban. And he started working at a bar. And then he opened a carpet-cleaning business. Dude, people need to understand how much different this. Like you were saying before about the rent, it's like, this is the, like, this could happen. It's not regular.

But she was like, I got a job. I'll save money. I'll invest it in a future. These were things that just kind of were a thing. They happened. You used to be able to easily get a job and save a money. You didn't just get a job as a lift driver. Right.

So he meets a beautiful woman named Karen during a bar shift and he used his newfound Coke powers to get over his intense social anxiety and talk to her. After a little persistence, she agreed to go on a date with him. and then she goes on a few Mike didn't want to talk about being an alcoholic Coke head who owes tens of thousands of dollars to bookies

but he couldn't really talk about anything else either at least not in an interesting way and so Karen breaks it off because she thinks he's fucking boring yeah okay and Mike spirals out of control he gets

17 traffic tickets in two days what this is All the fucking bullshit. This one is the biggest bit of bullshit. He bet his roommate that he can roll through a giant bonfire. By the way, if your roommate says that, take that action. Yeah, you always take that action.

Okay. He borrowed someone's leather jacket to do it and dove into the fire only to get stuck because his roommate, a purpose of put a huge log in the middle so he could win the bet. That's a funny prank. That's a funny prank to pull on a roommate. And it is, and anyone who hears that it thinks it's violent or regret, it is a goof, and he was goofing. It's funny to put a speed bump in your roommate's fire roll. I agree.

I also think back then there were more fire pranks. Yeah, we were, dude, this before ridiculousness. Yeah. So this was, this was, this was, this was, this was, this was PR. This was pretty ridiculousness. This is when we, we didn't really know where our fire pranks would land us, but, you know, it was just a, that's right. I was just a bonfire goof was always a good goof. Hey, I'm going to push Trey into the fire and hope he dies.

That's good. That's funny. So Mike ended up with second degree burns and he ran and jumped in his car and sped off only to roll the car at a corner. That's just, I mean, oh, man. It's just imagine if this was real. it's so it's so the guys who just lie all the time are fascinating to me because it's just

the pathological pace there's a shade of reality in here and there's some of the stuff happened or there's a fucking low red drughead right but there all this stuff is like some this might happen as someone else or whatever I mean I yeah he's just like

what if Fonzie did Coke so one One night he climbs five stories to the top of a drive-in movie theater screen and mooned the crowd, but then slipped and had his pants and underwear come fully off, and he almost fell to his death in front of a Cheech and Chong movie. Now, that would have been the best. Now, here's the thing. He told all of these stories at his five-year high school reunion, which people remember. But that doesn't mean they're real.

It just means that he told it at the high school reunion. that may that's a little more interesting to me though it is so so there is a degree of reality to it but he or his or his disease set on early and fast yeah also at the five-year reunion i'd be like hey cool mike shut the fuck up 1986 mike goes back to vegas and he stole a big jar full of change and 13 blank checks from his sister's boyfriend and packed everything he owned, which is a fishing pole, a pocket knife, and a pair of binoculars and necklace, and a gas station car. And he headed out. His first stop, Circus, Circus. America's greatest casino where I did spend a lot of time.

If a flipped car and a bonfire and cocaine were to be a hotel. Circus, circus, circus, where murder clowns are the logo. Where's the one place you think would be the best place to do mushrooms and go to Vegas? And it turns out, oh, no, that's the worst place to do mushrooms and beyond. I could see it going either way. It's not great. I was at O'Shea's once, which I don't even know if that still exists. And I was hammered, and it is a shithole.

It's such a shithole that I remember the dealer saying to me, sir, you cannot eat a subway sandwich and play blackjack. And I was like, you're right. You're right. you're absolutely right his only gambling memory was exchanging the jar of $180 for chips he doesn't remember gambling it

he woke up the next morning praying that when I did open my eyes I would be somewhere other than Vegas instead I cracked my bleary eyelids to see a giant clown staring in at me through the dirty window what oh obviously

I'm gonna kill you you. This is like if Rainbow Man just was like, I'm going to lie for a little bit. So he ran from the clown and from Vegas back to Minnesota and he decided he's going to change his life. It's time for rehab.

And he got sober. Here we go. He also decided now he's a Christian. He just decided that pre-rehab? Or during rehab? Probably during. And everyone... That's the only drug they can pass around rehab.

Yeah. And everyone would support him if he just said he's transformed like he accepted Jesus. So he gets out and he goes to his sister's boyfriend who does not actually accept him. And he said, quote, what the hell do you think you're doing here? And then he and Mike's sister threw Mike's bed out of a second story window. So the Christian transformation does not work for some people. Yeah. And so Mike says, fucking screw it then and he went to go find

some Coke. Okay. But something happened. Someone or something stopped him. No, by the end of that second week he was homeless and he got two more DUIs. So now it's really time for rehab. But by the end of this stint in rehab,

he'd started an inpatient gambling ring and came up with a cocaine-brained idea to make a million dollars. Food truck. Sorry. You're going to, you just told that like a co-kid. What? He gets into rehab.

And while he's in rehab, he starts an impatient gambling ring with the other people. Okay. And then he comes up with a really cocaine type idea. Food truck. To make a million dollars with a food truck. Food truck's not a thing at this point. Or they are. They're sort of like, no, it is.

It is. It's not as far as they're now. Like the morning construction breakfast sandwich coffee food truck. Yeah, you do egg and cheese on a row. And it's not really a million-dollar idea. It's an idea you can get by on. Sure, yeah. It's kind of a nightmare occupation.

This rings more truly than anything else because this is a pure cocaine idea. Yeah. So he puts all of his efforts into this food truck and he still got Karen around. He's falling further in love with Karen. She does not love him back. She's still in love with her kid's father. And then her kid's father does something bad. now Mike

sorry I should have said that yet that comes later oh wait here is so Mike Mike because she's not loving him he is like I'll do more drugs right that's one of his excuses that she's not loving him back and then something bad happens with the father

and she's like done with her baby daddy and Mike she's like well that guy's at least nice and then he starts being himself around her more and uh that's not good they fall they fall in love um at the minnesota state fair apparently great state fair great state fair maybe the best in the country great state fair that's where i met karen that's where i met karen go gerrish why what did he do wrong

the dollop will be right brack hey guys so we a lot of time are we not doing an Oh, okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Sorry. We were doing something else. I thought I just throw it. I just was going to do a hydro. I don't know. I didn't know what to. I was going to do a hydro. So they got married within months. Smart. And celebrated by going to Panama City Beach, where they have an argument

that ends with Mike punching a biker and running out on her to hide in a karaoke bar for four hours while he has no idea what she's a big oopsie hide guy he's got a big case of the oopsies i'm gone yeah he really does and by the way what better place the hide out than a bar that nobody wants to go to except for nobody want to be actors yeah uh the karaoke bar is a great place to hide but she doesn't leave them and they have a daughter within a year and then they have another daughter and then they have two sons and he's a married dad for the first 10 years of his marriage he says it's the happiest time of his life he buys a bar in 1990 called schmidis love it now you may be wondering how he got the money for it food truck by winning a

massive bet on a football game quote probably the bears probably not 80 no I guess it's the 90s now quite i was having the time of my life i had my own business and i loved working so it didn't matter if i worked 15 12 20 hours a day it was easy for me to do that because of my good friend cocaine he's still he's still doing a lot of blow and you can't work on cocaine it makes you focus i'm the i'll double down on it it's fantastic work if cocaine cocaine is it's great now i'm not just I'm not trying to talk to the teenage. Yeah, let me get myself out of this one. Now, while cocaine will make you highly productive

and you will be working at a level that you've never worked at before, a lot of times the stuff that comes out of it is the best stuff you've ever come up with or have done. So, yeah, if you can get it, just go ahead and give it a shot. Also, one time we were on cocaine, my friend, Annie was like, what about change banks? We just open banks and give people change. CoinStar.

The opposite. And that eventually became a sketch on Sire Night Live, a big commercial. Oh, I remember that one. Because there's no way to make money from giving change. No, but I think the message we're both sort of saying is it's illegal and it shouldn't be. Because it is just so good if you get the right match back. I don't think we're saying that. I don't think we're saying that.

Yeah. And I'll clean it up. I don't think you will. Yeah, yeah. Of course, what are you talking about? So to any of our listeners who have never done cocaine or try, it is, don't do it if you've never done it. And if you, because you will find that you as a regular human will never touch the level of

intense work ethic and profitability that just two to us. that seven lines will provide. And by the way, there's no better feeling than, then, you know, tooting a big one and then putting it on your gums. That's just the best. And I would definitely recommend smoking cigarettes while you do it. There's nothing better.

It feels like it's just the greatest feeling and the best productivity. And it makes booze more fun too. Go ahead. Yeah, it's just, I don't do it anymore. But I think about it. The regulars at his bar drank until closing time, and then they'd all head over to a guy named Toad's House for more booze and Coke.

And that little party situation went on for a while. But then within a few years, the farm started to turn. The Cokeheads were going into back bedrooms with torches and turning Coke into crack. Yeah, see. And soon there were only two honest Cokeheads left. Mike and his friend. And Mike looked at his friend and said, let's promise each other we will never, ever smoke crack.

A few months later, Mike smoked crack. Quote, when I hailed, there was a whoosh, and I was instantly there. It was Coke times 10 at least. Math, numbers. Yep. Even Mike's Coke dealer told him, quote, I told you never ever smoked crack.

You're done now. You're through. You just ruined your life. The Coke dealer's like, great. There goes another customer. There you go. You know what? God damn it.

Well, I mean, Reagan was America's Coke dealer. Yeah. Or a crack dealer. By the late 90s, Mike was avoiding his house, living at the bar, watching his friends descend into full-blown crackheads, and he was right behind them. He even got Karen into it on the rare occasions when he came home. I love a social crack smoker.

That's nice. Yeah. So few of those left. Well, it's such a short time period. You can do that. Yeah. Because it's like, there are different levels.

Yep. Small window. With the bars, marriage and everything kind of going down the tubes, Mike thought this is the perfect time to get back into card counting. But he's going to do it right this time. Yeah. Wouldn't gamble.

He would simply do crack and count cards the way God intended. So just to this. Yep. I don't want to have any inebriation of any kind so I will only be a smoking crack when I count the cards He took a card counting a refresher course All right everybody welcome For those of you who are dusted off this technique

For the first time in a while, welcome back For those of you have never done it before Please open your syllabus yes this is part of the learning annex how you doing welcome to pray good use card counting it's still fucking weird yeah uh but the class wouldn't start for two weeks so he chose instead to test his memory at a riverboard casino in kansas city and none of the limits at the tables were high enough to be worth his time so he did the next thing he for sure remembered how to do snort cocaine and lose all but like six dollars at the

craps table. Now the reason he didn't lose the $6 was because those ones were rolled up to do cocaine. Not to make this too much about trucks, but I do remember that feeling when sometimes I'd be like going to buy something and I'd be like, oh, there it is. And I'd be like undoing a rolled up dollar bill and like, straightening it out and being like, there you go. Sorry about that. I was drinking a milkshake earlier today with this little dollar bill. On his way home, he got lost and ended up in a very rough neighborhood in Kansas City and hit a pothole so hard that the camper shell flew off of his pickup. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. That sounds really real. Wow. That sounds really real. Wow. Mike, that's really something. Man.

So he's pissed. Yeah. He's pissed. And just then, two guys come out of the dark toward him, one holding a gun. And Mike had had enough. And he roared code, put your fucking gun away. I've got all of six bucks on me, and you can each have three. But first, you're going to help me put this camper shell back on my truck.

Also, I don't know how to lie well. Hey, while we were about to rob you, and we will, we will help you with your shelf. because this is all taking place in your weird little head. There we go. You've seen vacation in the movie, right? Here we are. I feel like he was watching vacation and he came up with this idea. Okay.

So the guys, they don't know what to do and they looked at each other and walked over to the camper shell and helped him put it back in and then started walking away. And Mike yelled, quote, get back here. I told you I had six bucks on me. I'm good for my word. Hey, this guy's reverse robbing himself. and they sort of feel guilty for yelling at him and he said quote and i've got cocaine if you want to do a line well now we're talking that is the fakest story of all the stories that we've

heard well i don't know man we would need to have an oscar sir yeah there's some real bangers in there rolling into a fire and then rolling his car and that one hurts that one's a tough yeah and also So I guess the one where he crashed his motorcycle and then went skydiving and fell 60 miles. The skydiving one just fully is total bullshit. Well, the skydiving one, he should be dead. So it doesn't make us. They should be dead eight times over. His mother must be a cat.

So he's back home. He gets more DUIs, so many that his license is taken away. But then he gets in there. He's a hot street, Garrett. Hot street. He doesn't get pulled over for. 12 years but that strict ends in

2002 when he gets pop for what he calls a minor infraction I shot a car he was charged with a DAC driving after cancellation so that's when they completely take away your license you're never allowed to drive again

when you get a cancellation happened when Kevin Spacey got pulled over and he gets a real it's a serious offense driving a few licenses have been canceled You can't drive for any reason. License being canceled is so great. Isn't it?

You're canceled. The judge sends him home monitoring as long as he doesn't use drugs or alcohol. And every night he has to blow into a breathalyzer, which only tests for booze. So he just does a lot of crack. Great. And he's cursing along without drinking. And then his friend Wayne comes to town. And Mike figured you could have a couple of beers.

Yeah. Yeah, look, what's the, yeah, you know, you have a breathalyzer in your home that you have to blow into every night. You could definitely have a beer or two. It's too close to a mid-night. And when he blew into the last breathalyzer, an alarm actually sounds on the breathalyzer. I hope it's like a ship foghorn. Whop, whoop. I like if it's just like, you are drunk.

You have drank. You are drunk. So he has to serve 19 days in prison. Now, the head of him county jail is a very comfy place for a guy. Like Mike, he's in the area where he has a TV. He gets to leave the jail every day for work release. Not that bad. It's a real Epstein sort of deal. Yeah.

On his first day out, he takes his son to a bar to play pinball. What the fuck? How else are you going to play pinball, buddy? What are you going to go to a pinball place? The best pinball machines are in the bar. Why don't we go to the bar? Well, here's the thing about the bar. He wants to go down to the basement to smoke some crack before they play pinball.

There it is. So he's like, I'll be down there for 10 minutes. But two hours later, he comes stumbling up and he bumps into a regular. who was like, hey, man, I got a, I got a little concoction that can make your urine clean. To Mojito. Because he's going to, he's going back to jail that night and he doesn't want to get tested when he gets back. So he gets back to the jail and they don't test him right away. And he's like, okay.

But then three hours later, they test him. And that was long enough for the urine fixing concoction to wear off. So it lights up, right? I mean, I'll tell you what, I knew this guy partied, but Jesus, I didn't realize we were dealing with, like, the fucking Hunter S. Thompson of bedding. So now the jail changes. They take away his work release, and he's transferred from the hotel part of the prison to the part, the prison part of the prison. The prison. He's strip searched.

He's marched through a walkway where other prisoners are catcalling and throwing garbage at him. He's put in an isolated cell. He couldn't see the other inmates, but they could hear them all, and it's just constant noise. And after several days, the rap songs are making him go nuts. And desperate, he jams his face between the bars at the front of a cell and screamed, quote, hey, our cells are so small, we should sing that Disney song. One, two, three, it's a small world. after all, I start singing in a small world.

And the other prisoners join in. This also did not happen. This is just not what happened at prison. And Nala after it started, hundreds of men are singing, it's a small world. And even though he finished the song, he wants to go to sleep, the other men wouldn't quit singing. And it got so bad that the guards found out Mike was responsible, and they hauled them in front of the prison shrink to try to get him labeled as a mental patient.

well look I'm ready to label him that the only part of this was that he took his son to a bar and smoked crack and got caught I am starting to believe

that Mike Lindell doesn't even exist so he gets out and he gets out and he's got to face the music his bets are so high he just can't escape by anymore. He's hundreds of thousands.

And he needs to make money immediately. And he managed to pay minimums by card counting, but he really just can't keep up anymore. The debt's just too high. Through it all, he was gambling on sports and losing big, and so he has to sell Schmitties, the bar. On the last night, he throws a massive party where he, quote, made it snow by throwing $1,000,

of the ceiling fans and watching it blow everywhere. Nope. Next. So he sells the bar to a bookie for hundreds of thousands less than it's worth so he could get $50,000 in cash up front. So then he could go to Vegas and count cards and make more money. So he does. And he immediately loses all the money.

And he goes back to the bookie to explain. Start him, quote, you know, if the bankruptcy judge sees, I sold my little bar for so little, they'll come after you, too, and the bookie gives them a little more money. Lies. Lies. Oh, boy, Mike. You're right. You got me pretty freaking scared. You're right.

Okay, okay. I get it. I got a fantastic deal. What do I need to do? The only reason people believe this absolute, just endless stream of. fucking bullshit is because he became a Christian. Because they always want to hear how bad

you were before you became a Christian. The redemption. The redemption. The comeback. The comeback becomes bigger and bigger. Every time you tell it, again, I mean, there's so many who do, politicians get caught in all their fucking lies because they just, it's just, you tell it enough and people start to go, wow. It's like the bigger like a celebrity becomes or like a con,

the amount of comedians who were, uh, and had one Mike left before I could make my money. It's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. So he takes the money that the book he goes. He goes back to Vegas. He loses all that money.

And at the same time, he becomes best friends with another crack addict who Mike convinced to go back home to his family. So he saved this crack addict. So Mike is a crack addict with another, crack addict. And Mike tells this crack addict he needs to get his life together and go back home to his family while Mike remains a crack addict. And he gives him what's left of his money

for a train ticket and food for the guy to go home. Take this. Crack is a dangerous drug. He said at the station the two crack addicts stood embracing and weeping and wailing as they waited for the train until the crowd formed around them. Jesus Christ. It's a small world after all. And most places I went, we ended up singing it's a small world after all. So Mike somehow makes it back home.

And soon after getting home, he just thunderbolt, Gary, I think it's a dream. He's sleeping. And he shoots up from a deep sleep. Quote, I glanced at the clock. It was 2 a.m.

Words for my dream were still running through my head. It was my own voice, repeating words, where's my pillow? I got up. I headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a notepad and started writing. My pillow. My pillow. My pillow over and over again. I wrote it a hundred times. His daughter comes in for a glass of water and looked at the hundreds of pages of paper on the floor and asked what was going on. And my calmly said, quote, I'm going to invent a pillow and it's going to change the world. do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, boom, brum, wow. And a part one.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm going to make a pillow.

all. The research is done by Josh Androwski source material for much of this episode is Mike's autobiography. So if he did something that seemed cool,

you should probably take out the greatest salt from crack addict to CEO by one of the odds from crack addict to CEO by Mike Lindell and also a little bit from the Guardian

and the business insider. But that is really something. So this will either be this will either be two parts or three. I got to see how much lying there is and the rest and if I want to cut a lot of it. Well, it's fun.

It's fun. I think, I mean, yeah, I don't mind listening to Mike Lindell's self-lore. And let me just say, if you watch Mike Lindell, he is very clearly on drugs, back on drugs now. He's fine.

Yeah, he's the fucking disaster. He's doing good. Totally. But that's the reason I think we don't really see him around. he's been cut out of the circle because I think he's just get him back in yes get him back in hey dollop fans I know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop do you want to watch the dollop you're like gareth what are you talking about by the way it's not gary it's gareth well we have partnered with lakeside animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes so

if you want to go watch a five-partner animation which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode I can't remember of the rube you can go to lakeside animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.