The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 709 - Butter vs Margarine - live

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Wisconsin butter/margarine fight.  SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Hydrow - Code: Dollop MeUndies - Code: Dollop Momentous Nutrafol - Use code: Dollop Ridge Wallets

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I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a swordfish cherry guy. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the Highland House was thinking. I mean, none of us do. Yeah, it's crazy. What the fuck? Like, why would you... They were putting it through the washer. Why would you clean it?

Yeah. Let it stay dirty and just use it again. You're not... You're... You're glib, Matt. You're glib. You're not listening. You're the only guy who wants dirty swordfish You're not listening That's not what I want

I want a fresh from the box Swordfish Well then why don't you take your swordfish home So they had to do that I did But it was a reused What year? 14, 22, let's go, come on

Come on, chop, chop Let's go. It's just like You need to February 22nd, 1841, come on. You need to go to therapy Let's get moving. To work out your swordfish shit.

Yeah, I don't need to go to therapy. I'm doing really good with my swordfish. You're not. Yeah. 1812. Yeah. In 1812, Napoleon attempted to conquer Russia

and failed spectacularly. His troops suffered horribly on the retreat due to the cold and lack of food leading to the deaths of close to a million. Fifty years later, Napoleon III wanted his troops to be better supplied. That meant the foods that lasted longer were cheaper and nutritious. Now, the French love, bread, and butter. Yep, that's it. Now, specifically, Napoleon III wanted an alternative. for butter, so that way you didn't have cows cruising along with the troops, or you could

have fewer cows or whatever. So when Prussia started eyeing France as part of its expansion plans, Napoleon III started a competition with a big money prize. So in 1869, French chemist Hippolyte-Méry came up with a lower-priced spread made from beef tallow. Oh. Oh, that is right. I've come up with a new way to spread. We're going to use a beef atello and it's going to be an exceptional. Trust me, we're all going to live out my father's trauma because my dad, I watched my dad and my uncle get shot in their hands. So now we all have to suffer.

And you know it, fuck it, I'm going to take down that pretty woman from Kerbior Enthusiasm with me. Excuse me. She also going to come down. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So what are you looking at? I was asking him to cut your mic. He called it it oleo

margarine from the Latin oleum meaning beef fat and the Greek marguerite meaning pearl yeah wait so what was the first word oleum it's for Latin for beef fat

he's got beef pearls yes fuck yeah bro well we went to inseminator but somebody had already put these things these weirdos are calling beef pearls up there. Apparently, they like it better.

They have bigger cow gasms. Make more moo-goo. Speaking of which, this moo-goo could be a pretty good spread if you wanted to put it on a charcutory. Can I leave? I just want to be clear. Anyone can leave whenever they're ready to go. Okay.

Those doors are locked. Well, you can figure it out. We play by Scientology rules. You can leave whenever, but there's no windows and every door's locked. And if you do get out, we'll kill your family. But you're free to go. Or have a little moo goo. Okay.

There you go. Look who's back. Yeah. Oliol Margarine was cheaper and kept better than butter. And besides the troop, the emperor was opening the poor, would eat it, but they all hated it. So Meje-Marie sold his patent

to Juergens, a Dutch butter-making company. Mm, okay. Mier-Marie then didn't make much money from that, and he died poor, and he watched Margarine become successful worldwide. Wait,

yeah, so he never got, he was like the Nick Drake of buttery spreads. I mean, that's what they call him in history, the Nick Jake of buttery spreads. He just died like, man, I didn't do anything. Whenever it was like, you know, there's a lot of hidden messages in his margarine.

I think he predict, take a bite of that. I think he predicted his own death. Where to bring everything up? Margarine was patented in 1873 and began rolling out across the U.S. Oh, fuck. What are we dealing with here?

I don't know why you're booing. They're going to boo margarine a lot because this is Wisconsin. So just let it happen. The oleo margarine manufacturing company opened in New York and started a PR push immediately in a telegraphed courier column titled Butter Made Without Cream. Quote, this new butter is made from the same material as ordinary butter, but this material is obtained by a more simple and natural,

process than milking the cows. It's an interesting phase to skip. Of all the steps, that feels like a very crucial step. It's more natural. Because there's no cow? It's from cow. No, it's from cow. How? Well, it's all, it's the same.

It's from also from cow. But you said you don't. Well, you can take it out the side or the top. Of the cow. Yeah. You're opening it up. Yep. Okay. Are we doing well when you can hear a can drop?

I think so. It's a sign of killing. That's a Wisconsin Jewish wedding, by the way. Not a lot of people know that. You drop a Papps. Yeah, fuck yeah. La Hams. Open bar. It's all Paps.

To make sense of it, the paper explained it more, quote. Now, one would naturally say, this butter is made from tallow. Not so. It is made from the same material as tallow as also the same material as ordinary butter, the oil from the fatty tissue of the animal. Sorry. This poor guy. It's pretty confusing.

So it is made from tallow. Not so. It is made from the same material. It is made from the same material as tallow, which is also the same material as ordinary butter, the oil from the fatty tissue of the animal. So it's not tallow. It's not tallow.

It's made from the same material. It's made from the same material as tallow. But it isn't tallow. It's made from the oil from the fatty tissue of the animal. The same is ordinary butter. It feels like the... It's the same. It just comes out from a different part.

Why do I feel like Abbott? We're doing who's on tallow. It's more natural. What is? The margarine. Getting the... The fake tallow. Yes.

But it's not tallow and it's not... From cream. It's from the cow. No, where is it from the cow? It's from the fatty tissue of the animal. The oil from the fatty tissue. You don't milk it. You just sort of scoop it?

You take out a scoop. So what are you, like, rendering it? Yes. Is that a yes period or a yes question mark? Yes. What is it? It's oil from the fatty... No, I don't...

No, I don't... Do not answer again. Even if I say what is it, don't answer. Do you understand? Yes. Go ahead. I'm not gonna ask. While there was some blowback and worries over fraudulent ingredients in Europe over margarine,

it was nothing like the U.S. The agricultural community was immediately upset. Americans were suspicious, alarmed, and people raised. and people raged against margarine. This morphed into a movement to suppress margarine. All right. It worked. People said it threatened the family farm, the moral order, and the American way of life.

In retrospect, maybe not a freak out. Maybe not just being paranoid. be accurate. It was an attack on the superiority of farm life. Politicians made passionate speeches about, quote, sweet and wholesome butter.

I can't fucking believe they, I cannot imagine, it's like a buttery A-pack. Just takes over the guy. So they just, no matter what, there's always a nice handful of politicians who are like,

this is the way. Yes. Future generations will be loving margarine and you will look like a buttery idiot if you're hanging back. This is Christ. So Governor Hubbard had margarine in his cupboard.

So Governor Hubbard of Minnesota lamented that, quote, the ingenuity of depraved human genius has culminated in the production of oleomargines, and its kindred abominations. Nice. Wisconsin was just getting into the butter and cheese game

when Margin arrived. Whoa, that's wild. That is wild to even picture. Back who we're like, maybe we will have cows. What do you say? Gotta do something. We'll figure it out.

Don't worry about. bought it. The state was shifting from small farms to factory production of butter and cheese. And that's because Wisconsin small farms were making butter of quote, abysmal quality.

Easy does it now, David. Easy does it. This is a long time ago, everybody. Everyone's like, why don't you shut your fucking mouth? This fucking guy's talking shit about our butter. people on the streets. Where are we going?

Some fucking asshole comedian's in town from Los Angeles. We're going to kill him. Why? He's fucking shit-talking butter again. You suck it. Suck the fucking butter. You like that butter, don't you? Let him live. Shut up. Wisconsin butter was made in the summer

from a tiny amount of milk. Usually the wife made the butter, and she may not have had the knowledge or equipment to do it well. Is that important to know the recipe? So she just, I can be like, all right, go outside, figure it out. And I don't have any idea how to make it.

Shut off. It's hot. Get out there. Go outside. Go use your fucking broom thing. Yeah, do this with your arms or whatever. You know how to do that. There you go. I'm going to shut these windows, though.

You're making a lot of noise. fucking games on, idiot. I think that's pretty bad again. Would be nice if someone gave me the recipe. No. What if I just pour it on this popcorn here? That makes no sense.

Jesus Christ. What are you from fucking Minnesota? Yes. Yes, I was. Not anymore. No, but that's where I'm originally from, Clark. God damn it. Well, you ask the basic question. I met you three years ago.

I, God, the noise won't stop. And I love you. Stop the noise. But I don't know how many more times I can go outside just tinkering with a recipe that I have no access to. Get back the fucking butter! I don't know what it is really. Do you understand how complicated and dark it is?

Every day you send me out there in way too many clothes. And you give me one of the sweatiest exercises I've ever seen. I'm just sloshing around a stick in some weird goo. It's like it's moo goo or something like that.

That was like some kind of inside joke. No, I told it outside. Look, I don't know what I'm doing out there. But I'll tell you. I tell you what I do believe in.

Us. I believe we will figure this out together. No. Yes. Why you say no? No. Come on. I'm gonna make margarine. What?

By myself in the shed. Well, that's quite a turn. I'm gonna give it to my new girl. Wow. I really thought we'd wrap this up a moment ago. It's hard to tell with you, honestly. I can't believe you're just having an affair. I'm right outside all day.

I'm literally four inches from the window. You make bad butter! I don't know what it is. This is Christ. Then you don't know what love is. What are you? doing? This is insane.

So this leads to butter of uneven quality. Even butter that was made well could deteriorate while waiting to be shipped to the city. In Chicago, they called Wisconsin butter

Western Greece. All right. we'll finish the show and then we're going to Chicago and we'll show them who does butter and Chicago Wisconsin butter was sold

as a lubricant not for eating now hold on a market, we've got to be eating. Now hold on a minute I feel like there's a market we've not been thinking of. That's called Wisconsin style. Put a little on each side like a grilled cheese. Let's party.

So in 1872, the Wisconsin... Wait, are people really... Lubric, not lubricate. Yes, really. For fucking. No. Jesus Christ, man. Get your fucking head out of the gutter.

Get my head out of the gutter. You can also use it for machinery and like a fucking bike chain like, yes, you can do that too. I'm churning the butter. In 1872. But hear me out. No.

It probably happened. Yeah, I'm sure some weirdo like you use it as a fucking... There's no shame in that. Hold on, let me get the butter. All right, honey. I'm not putting it on mine. Who's it?

Who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, we're doing buttercuder. I'm already wet. Jesus Christ. What? Your father's here. Yeah. I believe he left.

What? Let me tell you what this podcast is about asking important questions and coming to conclusions. And I think together we came to a conclusion. It was probably also used for fucking. I don't know if we came to that together or if it's just something you needed to happen for some weird reason,

butter-related something you did as a child. I've never done it, but my life's not over, is it? Your dad was always like, why is all the butter always gone? Don't worry. Why are you taking it out at such huge holes? So in 1872, the Wisconsin, Derryman's Association was formed to develop a modern butter industry. It was created to make butter better butter and promote it, but quickly switched to protecting butter from

competitors. They realized that the shit quality of Wisconsin butter was an issue. This is such a comeback story we're about to hear. So president of the Wisconsin Derryman's Association, Hiram Smith, Quote, oleo margarine is giving better satisfaction than most dairy butter as now made. He believed if butter quality was not improved by the state, margarine would completely take over in cities. In cities? Yes. This is so fucking weird.

It's cheaper. Uh-huh. So he just thinks it'll take over. And also the travel time of butter, it's like obviously not going well. Sure. So oleo margarine was attacked. So Senator Joseph Quarles said butter must come from dairies, not slaughterhouses. Quote, I want butter that has the natural aroma of life and health.

I declined to accept as a substitute, call fat, matured under the chill of death, blended with vegetable oils, and flavored by chemical tricks. Your steak, senator? But I love steak. I enjoy a steak. But boy do I like a burger. I will eat a steak. Fuck. Papers called oleomargarine a vile adulteration.

An adulteration? We're cheating on butter. With a dirty mistress. Margarine. In the shed. Where it belongs. Where it belongs. Where the dirty stuff happens.

Yeah. The Coshawton Tribune. The what? Go ahead. The Cawshokton? C-O-S-H-O-C-T-O-N. C-S-H-O-C-T-O-N. Sure.

Is that not a thing anymore? I don't know. Yeah, no. Okay. Quote, it is dangerous because, quote, it is indigestable, insoluble when made from animal fats, liable to be the vehicle for disease germs, and in the desire to make it cheaply, improper ingratiates our used, borax, psilacetic acid,

benzoic acid, glycerin, alum, cows udders, sulfuric acid, caustic potash, chock, stomachs of pigs, sheeps, and calves, nitric acid, tallow, lard, and flour. I mean, literally, read a bag of Doritos' ingredients,

you'd be like, yeah, that's pretty much it. I know now it doesn't sound so bad. No, that sounds like a regular bag, oh, that's pretty good. Not too shabby So pro-butter cartoonists What does he cut down? He's got poisons and a little bit of poison

So the stuff over there is margarine being made And on the right is the butter being made And it looks like he's putting Well he's not putting That's the factory doing it Yeah but it looks like the factory's putting cats in the butter And a can And a can and a hat and a boot

They basically are like It's the L.A. River They just wrote soap up to Pop. Soap. Soap. He's like, I'm sick of drawing shit. Hey, Hey, Dan, did you just start to write things

that were in there? Yeah, soap fat. Yeah. Dix. Yeah, don't, first of all, don't write dicks. And second of all, you could draw those things. Clowns. Just draw a clown then.

Because most of it is drawn. No, it's weird. It's like. you don't have a deadline I'm done I drew the cat I know I don't even want to give you that note

Pro butter cartoonists drew factories putting all kinds of stuff in a margarine soap paint arsenic rubber boots and stray cats then a bunch of scientific reports said margarine caused cancer and led to insanity It was a nice tactic. And then the other attack front was legislation.

In 1881, Wisconsin passed an anti-Margarine law. Fuck yeah. Are you from a farm? I get it. I get it. Other states had passed similar laws. Butter and margarine had to be clear. clearly marked what they were.

Bullshit. Fucking total bullshit. Only used for fucking. Hey, we're remarketing it is fuck butter. Yeah. One could absolutely not substitute the demon

spread for butter. Farmers focused on borrowing margin from the marketplace. Big Dairy pushed Congress to pass legislation in 1886 that included labeling and packaging restrictions and

taxes. Wow. So margarine was cigarettes. Manufacturers had to pay harsh licensing fees. What is this margarine money? That's like that's literally, so you're paying a tax. This is your, and this would be on it saying that you paid your tax.

Oh my God. It's fucking real I also got to take. It's an oleo margarine I got to take my hat off to how patriotic our taxes are. Pretty normal. The eagle loves you. So the end result was not much because there were no margarine cops to enforce what was happening. We would have that now. So Wisconsin passed a law requiring hotels and restaurants to post if margarine was sold on the property.

Wow. The state barred the manufacture and sale of margarine that was color. to make it seem like butter. Wait, did I not mention that margarine is not yellow? What color was margarine? Butter is yellow from plant, carotene in the milk of grass-fed cows. Margarine was made in the industrial vats and came out white like paste. Ooh.

So margarine producers were coloring it yellow, and the buttermakers screamed that that was deception. Wow. Oh, by the way, butter from corn-fred cows is also pale and commonly dyed so it comes out a pretty butteryellow, but butter makers call this a cosmetic tweak. Well, cows are supposed to eat corn. They love the stuff. Nature. Wow, that is a, I like, I really do like doing that in front of the cow, too.

You like the look at that? That came out of you. Must I sit here and watch it? Yeah. Look at how juicy the slice is. I'm going to spread it all on my toes. Can I please go outside? Shut up.

Gonna cuck this cow. You like it. By 1898, 32 out of 45 states had passed laws restricting the coloring of margarine. Wow. Some states like Minnesota required margarine to be colored pink to show how fake it was. Wow, that is. Hats off to them.

That's awesome. There you go. How's your pink toast? I regret my decision. But the state Supreme Court ruled the pink laws were unconstitutional. The pink laws. Wisconsin's dairy lobby tried to get a pink law passed but failed.

Vermont, New Hampshire, and South Dakota passed laws requiring margin to be dyed pink. Others pushed for laws for margin to be brown or black. That would have been fucking hysterical. By the way, Australians are like, nothing wrong with putting a black thing on your toast. It's actually quarter delicacy if you spread it properly. Can you make it taste like sour and awful?

Well, here's what it is. This is a nice black paste. And when you put it on your toast, it'll be like licking someone's forehead after they've just had a long jog. You like that? It's nice, isn't it? Black, salty nightmare spread.

And the texture's awful. There you are. How does it taste like fucking dirt? Like a fucking salt lick, mate. Wisconsin, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Ohio completely banned margarine. But the Supreme Court declared the ban unconstitutional. The Supreme Court is, what is, why?

Now hold on a minute, I don't want to wait a second before we start jumping in and talking about how we should not be having margarine. There's a good chance that margarine might just save us a lot of lives. How is work, honey? We're doing important stuff in there. Janine, we got rid of those oval tomatoes and margarine. Madrin. But finally, Marjorin might have a second life because of me.

Also, companies are now considered people. That'll work out great. That should be a fun thread to pull. I love that that was never actually a decision by the Supreme Court. Wait, what? It was never a decision. What do you mean? A guy wrote it in the margin of a decision.

In the margarine. An assistant justice, the guy was like writing it up, wrote it, and they are people. Oh, yeah, it was like right at the end. They were like, there you go. Yeah. So it's never actually, we're just going along with it. Yeah. Okay.

I mean, you can do that, I think. That's fine. It seems to be working out pretty good. Okay, so Wisconsin law didn't even. make it past their own state Supreme Court. The war on margarine was one of the most contentious political issues of the time, because

margarine could not be stopped. Even with the restrictions, more people began using it. And margarine production increased from 3 million pounds in 1888 to 126 million pounds in 1902. What the fuck is going on?

People love margarine. People do. Much of that was because you could color it yellow. so big dairy wants more laws wait the reason why they liked it was because you could color it the same color as butter because you can pass it off as butter oh so you'd have people over and be like it's butter yeah or it's just more palatable like it was just a big white slab isn't that like appealing delicious what do you eat that's a big white slab Mike Podkin

the driver So Vermont Representative William Wallace Grout sponsored the Grout bill. William Wallace, so you're named after William Wallace, and then what we put in between tiles. Freedom! Also, hold on one second. The Grout Bill, which amended the 1886 legislation, margarine was now bound by the laws of the state. It was shipped from. So margarine that was colored to look like butter was.

taxed 10 cents a pound while uncolored was only taxed one quarter cent a pound and licensing fees were reduced for sellers who sold uncolored it took years to get the bill passed and hearings went on and on as Marjoram producers defended it

saying it was wholesome and cheaper for the working man It's fucking crazy It's insane This went on for 20 fucking... What are they packaging it in? Just like regular old packaging Just like waxy, papery. Yeah. Okay. Pro butter farmers were being driven out of business.

They said they were being driven out of business and said margin was made in horrific, dirty conditions, and cried for the cows that would lose their butter making jobs. What would become of them? That is so. What would become of them? As they're literally just like cutting their heads off. Think of the cows. What's going to happen to them? Well, we're...

Shut the fuck, shut the fuck up. Shut up, shut up. We're worried about the... The cows, shut up. The cows are smarter than most dogs, which we can investigate. Marjoran makers said Marjor was more wholesome than butter, and that cows... And that the cows that made butter were diseased and dirty and milked in disgusting barns. And they produced photos to prove it.

The marjor makers also brought up the scandals from all the times. times when dairies sold spoiled butter that had been reprocessed and sold as fresh. They used the 1894 handbook for packing plants that described the horrors to build their arguments.

And my God, it was cheap and they cared about the poor. Oh, and margarine had to be colored because even the poor were ashamed to be seen buying it. It would not serve it in their homes. Quote, people while they are poor, have some pride.

and they do not like to go into a store among people who have money and buy the article because everyone knows it is oleo they are getting. Wow. So it's a shame food. Yeah, it's like pulling out food stamps, right? Yeah, like using EBT, you're like, just a little... Oh, look at this margarinator. No, it's not.

Animal. No. It's better. It's for fucking. Oh. Yeah. There you go. Anal?

What? That's crazy. I'm crazy, and you're freaking me out. The view that Marjorins for poor people was poor people food made butter more of a status symbol, which would continue for years. That's cool. Marilyn? So that's, ugh. How did they make a worse name? I don't know. How are their billboards for beef tallow now? Well, listen, RFK's had a lot of head trauma.

Cheaper than butter, more economic... Morrow. That's delicious. What's the last line? Never get rancid or sour. Cool stuff. So Wisconsin's a big player in pushing the grout bill, and it was true that Marjorin was the byproduct of city slaughterhouses. So Big Butter tells their own horror stories about grotesque conditions and them,

And the grout bill finally passes in 1902, and the use of margarine plummets from 126 million pounds in 1902 to 76 million a year later. And the tax made colored margarine cost as much as butter, and licensing fees make it more expensive, at least the shittier grades of butter. So there's this loophole that allows margarine barons to sell large containers of 10 to 60 pounds. So you can sell like a P-Ditty amount of it. That's all you can do. So Shifty retailers could then substitute it for butter. Every day. And a fucking clay pot.

You know what? You got to want some margarine. No, not anymore. We sell it by the fist. Oh, my God. Here you go, ma'am. Do you have a container? No, it's this fucking terrible decision.

Yeah, yeah. Good, isn't it? Thank God for freedom. So they just needed to put color in the white margin. Some began to say a flat margarine tax would stop this cheating. And then they came up with a new idea, a workaround. They sent out the white margarine but included a capsule of yellow dye

with each pound so people could color it themselves in their home. So go home and then like... That's exactly right. My guess will never know. What'd you say? Nothing. Soon coloring margin became a common kitchen task.

Oh my God, I over-yellowed it. Sweet God, we need white powder. Gareth, kids, loved it. Loved margarine. Coloring the margarine? Coloring the margarine? What the fuck? TV's ruined and saved us.

Quote, Maxine Clark remembers running into the kitchen with her brother just as her mother started to color margarine asking, may I stomp it? May I stomp it? Stomp it? A butter stomper was a special tool. She watched in fascination as the margarine changed from white to yellow, carefully turning it several times to make sure the food coloring was entirely mixed in. Now, Butterstomber is like a, it looks like the same butter churn like thing.

It's like a... Uh-huh. But not everyone had a butter stomper. Some would mix the yellow packet with a wooden spatula, or if their mom wasn't there, some kids would use their fingers. Oh, fuck. I mean, this whole fucking nightmare just got a lot worse. Just eating it?

That's very good. Could I have a little more? There's no way Billy washed his hands. He was just like, I was not playing with the pigs. I feel like in two days we'll be driving and Luke will be like, hey, look, look what I made. So it's some van margarine?

When it was softened from mixing, it still didn't look appealing, but it was a bit improved. One boy said, quote, it was always pretty unappetizing but it was super unappetizing when it was white. Gareth the Dalop is brought to you by

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In 1910, the Daily Northwestern a paper from Oshkosh published a how-to guide to ID and apprehend Margarine Moonshiners. Holy fuck. Butterleggers? Wow. Quote, their capture has often attended with as much danger as that so long associated in the public mind with the capture of the daring mountaineers who manufacture in cell whiskey.

So, they're saying that butter, sorry, margarine moonshiners are as dangerous as, uh, as people who, you know, bootleg whiskey. Well, sure, of course. Yeah. They go great together anyway. The paper described a margarine raid. A margarine raid. Quote. An internal revenue agent reinforced by other officers rushed to,

into the place where the oleo-margarine trade was carried on and found four men there, their arms bared and smeared with the coloring matter, which they were using to convert the white oleo margarine into yellow. I cannot believe we are in Butter New Jack City. Why are those women topless? Look. The men were let go by a judge who said that while they were probably not all using the 3,000 pounds of margarine for their families there was also no... What fucking judge is this?

Now, while I doubt they were using 3,000 pounds for supper Your Honor, I also used it for sex. As we all do. There was also no proof of illegal sales. So they let him go. So the judge was just like, yeah, I would, I don't. I don't know where it's going. All I know is that these men, they were caught in a big system.

They're pawns in the butter game. In 1910, Margarine came back strong due to new developments. Hydrogenation or the hardening of vegetable fats. I'll tell you what, you take kids' fingers being in it, I'm listening. You don't want that. Yeah, I don't want that. The hardening of vegetable fats was invented around 1900. I think that whenever I see like anything where someone's like,

my kid and I are making cookies for you, I'm like, I'm not fucking eating that. Sally and I baked them. I'm like, yeah, well, fucking, nope. No, I'm out. That's a child. Picking its no, it's horrible. This is awesome because I, me and Finn. I wiped my ass with my hand and made cookies.

You're like, cool. Absolutely not a song. Happy holidays. Not a song. Fucking kidding me? Did she'll Miss Rachel sing that one? Yeah, it's Miss Rachel, yeah. I mean, me and Finn made you cookies every year for...

No, no. Good for you. I'm glad you guys had a montage together. Keep me out of it. I'll have some entomints, thank you very much. So the hardening of vegetable fats made making margarine out of vegetable fats possible. Also, federal food laws had improved the conditions of meatbagging plants, and margarine makers started using oils that made margarine yellow. The color thing is so...

We are obsessed. So the rich people are using yellow butter, and the poor people can't afford it, and they want to be able to be like, I have butter. Yeah. It's a Gucci. Yeah, yeah. Right. So they could just say it was natural, making it exempt from color taxes, right? so now there's a vegetable

addition so it can look yellow. Now on top of that, they introduced one and two pound packages of margarine that included a packet of coloring stuff so you could color it easily at home according to taste. Ugh. Just fucking bag massaging your

space butter. Need the bag. Easy color pack. Always the housewife. My life's the fucking worse, but at least I can make this shit yellow, finally. Go to work? Not possible. I had dreams of being a scientist. That's right. I read books all day and my head's full of knowledge.

But Doug comes home drunk and demands his butter yellow. Do my own taxes? Why, no, no, no. I'm not allowed my own bank account. But sweet mother of fucking God, I could take Valium all day and squeeze this weird yellow bag. You know, life under house arrest can be pretty banal and boring. But thank God I can now get a two-pound bag of goo. And stress balled my way out of all the problems. Gender prison, for sure. But at least now this bullshit can get yellow.

How many went over just like, fucking son of a fucking bitch? Hey, honey, someone beat the shit out of the margarine. And it's not even yellow. Hey, the yellow powder's organized into little lines with a dollar bill rolled up next to it. The fuck's been going on in here. It's something I got to fucking talk to you about.

Ah. Ah. Get the goo. Get the lube goo. Now, Big Butter wanted the packet of color outlawed, but it never was. Oh, also, I mentioned before, Big Butter colored the butter. Big Butter colored the butter. Yeah, butter was being colored. So butter was colored too.

Yes. So Margarine is trying to be the color of a fake butter. Colors sometimes vary due to the season, and the cow, based on what the cow ate. So they gave the butter a little bit of help to adjust the tint to yellow. But that's legitimate. That's okay. But yellow margarine, deceptive. Right.

But also, quote, we are not concerned in the least about the final outcome of butter. If given a fair chance to compete with margarine, oleo margarine, masquerading as butter, does not provide competition but substitution. In 1950 in the University of Wisconsin, released studies showing rats-fed milk fats were healthier than rats-fed vegetable oils. Fucking, those rats are like, I don't know why they captured us, but this fucking rules. I know, right? They're just like,

so you guys are going to be drinking a lot of milk. Oki-dokey. Hey, they put an ear on my back. I don't know what to tell you, Andy. Sucks to be you. What are you guys doing? We're eating cream all day. What?

The fuck? So, hordes, Dairy magazine, celebrate hordes. H-O-A-R-D-S. Hordes. Hordes. Dairy Man magazine celebrated and published an article with an illustration of fat-happy milk-fed rats besides crazed unwell, vegetable oil-fed rats.

What? I can't, I understand doing rat tests. I mean, I don't love it, but I understand doing it. And now you're like, rats are our spokespeople. No, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, retort. So they had a picture of happy milk-fed rats besides crazed unwell vegetable oil

fed rats. Sorry, it's not a retort. They're pushing the point. Now they're driving that one. Yeah, they're like these rats are so happy. It's literally fucking 20 years after they just will not stop. Yeah, right. The margin industry began to consolidate and now with a few big manufacturers

they would fight back better. Also, using soybeans and cottonseed, more states now join. the margarine fight. I can't let it go. No. I cannot believe margarine survived this. We're only getting started.

Oh, fuck. Wisconsin, you guys are out of your fucking mind. Prove it. Marjorin stopped trying to compare itself to butter and created brands that stood on their own like parquet, mazola, and blue bonnet. And then came the Great Depression. Oh, boy.

Margarine was cheaper? So people had resisted it now started using it, and December 1931, angry Wisconsin farmers protested outside the Capitol building, so the state legislature passed more laws to protect dairy farmers. New licensing fees for makers and sellers of oleo margin, more taxes on uncolored margarine, and then colored margin was completely banned. Another tax in 1935, but it didn't matter, people were coming around. to margarine. When World War 2 came, so did food

rationing. Now people had to use margarine for the first time. FDR's head of the Federal Security Agency Paul McNutt was a former governor from a

soybean growing state Indiana. Oh boy. Quote, he put the squeeze on butter and gave Olio the green light to take over. Now Marjoram was showing up in popular cookbooks after the war it was over. Marjoram was

a normal thing to find in a kitchen in Wisconsin, though it was mostly for cooking and still called white butter. I got to say, I'm not loving the way we're using it now. White butter!

Jesus Christ, they're out in the streets with teakie torches. White butter, what butter! Shut the fuck up. We will not be replaced. Oh, my God. How did they do this? Oh, shit.

The National Association of Marjorie manufacturers educated customers about the nutritional qualities of oleo. Well, what about promotional materials and pamphlets like taking the mystery out of margarine? This pamphlet was 8.000. pages about margarine's ingredients and step-by-step directions for coloring and molding margarine. It's a great book.

Eight pages in a page? I'd be like, buddy. Do you know what a pamphlet is? It's great. It's shocking. Oh! Look at what I can do. After the war, federal restrictive laws were repealed, but it was also a year's long fight.

Now the can was kicked back to the states, but without federal support, very difficult. So states began repealing color laws. Uh-oh. Most tax- Now, it can't be black. We did that before we, civil rights.

We were like, yeah. Black people were like, oh, awesome. Like, well, hold, hold, no. Not you. I think you got the wrong idea. No. We're talking about spreads. But without federal support, very different.

Oh, sorry. Most taxes stayed because it was a source of revenue. Between the 1920s and 1950s, butter consumption in the U.S. declined by one-third while margarine sales quadrupled. Those fuckers. Can't stop it. But Wisconsin refused to change.

One could not buy colored margarine in the state. Yeah. The federal minimum wage was 75 cents, and the tax. on oleo was 15 cents a pound. Holy shit. You gotta really want it. Nobody would want it

that much. It's a tariff. So people in Wisconsin started buying margarine on the black market. Wow. Why? Because they wanted it. I don't, okay. At this point we want it

now? Because it's like hidden? I don't know. It wasn't just illegal to sell colored margarine. It was illegal to use it. Use it? It was okay to possess it, but you could not use it. It's like Colorado's mushroom laws

in the 90s. You could have it and they're like, what are you what are you all planning on doing with all that margarine and that? Nothing. It's ornamental. how come that one guy can't look us in the eyes what are you doing sir

he's blind oh that's fucking sucks all right you guys can go just don't be spreading it on nothing or using it so you swear to God you're just going to go home and not use it nope you're going to just you wanted to have it

just have it around and that's it. Just to look at. Just to look at. Yeah, for Christmas we'll decorate the tree with it. You'll put margarine on your Christmas tree? Yeah. Isn't that kind of disgusting? No.

I guess I got to take your word for it. I don't know what else I can really. This is a pretty stupid law if you think about it. Yeah. All right. Go ahead. You want something. It's okay to have.

No. You just can't use it. Yeah, that's the whole, yeah, I don't, I don't know what I, huh? No, I don't know what I'd do with it. Well, you have it around. What would I do with it? Have you ever seen, like, plastic fruit in a bowl? Yeah.

It's like that, but it's margarine. I just, have it on your table to never use? Yeah. I said you're free to go. I'd really rather if you just left. Honestly, this is really like, just go, please, you're free to go. That's like my polite way of saying leave. Just one little cute.

I don't want to... There you go. I should have never taken that first grab of butter. That first taste of margarine. Little did I know my life was about to change. You were supposed to pick the kids up from school. I told you. I don't even fucking remember that.

What the fuck? Are those helicopters? I can't wait to see Vancouver this time of year. The brisk refreshing air, autumn leaves scattered across Stanley Park. I'll get to hang out at Granville Island Public Market and try the local delicacy, candied smoked salmon. And best of all, I get to see a crowd of adoring fans at the Rio Theater. While daydreaming of fall travel, I realize my home could be working for me. I'm talking about hosting my home on Airbnb.

Might as well, right? Otherwise, it will just be sitting empty while I'm gone. While you're off living your best life, your home could be bringing in some extra cash. Whether you're off for a work trip or a family vacation, why not make the most of it? Hosting on Airbnb is smart and a practical way to help cover travel costs. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca.com. A few people were given margarine consumer permits so that,

they could legally have it. Yeah. What's that for? So you could legally have it. Why? So you could legally use it. For what? Who the fuck gets a pass? You get a consumer permit.

You got to what? For margarine. Go into the margarine. Are we in or are we out? You go in and you're like, hey, I really, I got to, medically, I got to, medically, I got medically, I got to have margarine license. I got a condition. and if I don't get

margarine every day I'm done He has glaucoma I got glaucoma I can't see I get all blocked up I need to keep everything lobed and just kind of running We use it for fucking just give us the pass

I put it in their ass Stop it! Why do you always go one step further Sorry, doesn't matter I just like to yell that Jesus Christ You know I like to yell it and I apologize I love you, Gladys. I can't believe someone went aw

Now that's nice that he said he loved there at the end. I literally just yelled 30 seconds ago. I put it in her ass. I thought it was disgusting until he said he loved her. And then it became a love story to me. Putting the butt in butter. So people are given margarine consumer permit so they can legally use it, but every pound they bought was recorded and reports were sent quarterly to the Department of Revenue.

What the fuck? It seems so not worth it. 120 permits were issued in 1954. If one was found with illegal margarine, it would be confiscated. But the entire situation is absurd because the Department of Revenue wasn't going to raid houses or inspect kids' school box lunches. a court was not going to convict anyone, so margarine smuggling became a daily part of life in Wisconsin.

What in the fuck? Why? Meanwhile, it's like, it's very popular nationally. Former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt made a commercial for good luck margaret in 1959. Marjorin is cheaper, so she's like people should use margarine. She's a part of it. I liked her until that.

She's an enemy now. I used to really like her. You know, she killed her husband. What? What are you talking about? No, she didn't. Didn't she? No.

Jamie, can you? Jamie, no. Jamie, can you pull up? Is Jamie here? Jamie, can you check to see? I read this. No, we had a hard issue, you asshole. No, she killed him.

I just read this on the... Actually, Joe, that was AI. Oh, come on. Yeah, that was AI. Yeah, but she was bad. No, no. She was bad. Come on to know the mothership.

I'm doing a set this Friday. No, you're not. I just looked it up. You're not even on the website. I think I am. What's going on? It gets debunked on that. So it was just mailed.

So people are mailing margarine from other states. It's just, fuck. What the fuck is this gooey letter? What is this? It was labeled OLEO, handle with care. if a neighbor if like your neighbor in Madison went on a trip they'd bring back

margarine for other families like they'd take care of the whole block it's exactly what I do with New Glaris when I get back to California like 80 spotted cows I'm like I got the margarine savor every fucking drop boys

they would pack their chunks with cases of margarine excuse me do you all Ladies have margarine in your trunks? No. No. No. But don't open it.

Don't open one fucking piece of it, pig. Excuse me? What? You leave it there. Ma'am, I'm just asking. You open that trunk, you're going to see some shit you don't want to see. Ma'am. That's right. You just leave the trunk alone.

All right, ma'am. I was just... I'm wearing margarine on my... I mean, regular butter on my head. What? You'll have to excuse Phyllis. She's hammered. She is shit-faced right now.

They won't know if I go home with this big pound of butter on my head. She's really shit-faced. She had a lot of gin this morning with our butter breakfast. Now move on. You move on.

That's, we're on the same team. You, okay. Phyllis, Phyllis, it's me. Hi. Yeah, he just started threatening me like I was the cop. Fuck you. Son of a bitch. Oh, I gotta get her back.

Don't you touch my Madrid. I'll fucking cut you. By now, even farmers were using margarine. Oh, man. Margarine smuggling got really hot along the Wisconsin border, and border stores and gas stations stocked up and advertised that they had margarine inside. So it really was like when you would like, before, if you're on a state where their weeds is not legal for some stupid fucking reason. And the second you cross the border, they're like, hey, weed here.

You know what this reminds me more of? it's the states that don't have fireworks and the states that do. That's what this reminds me of. Because if you, if you, like, cross, I don't know if it's still the same, but you used to cross from, like, North Carolina and South Carolina. Oh, yeah. And they would just be... Yeah. Well, you can get as many fireworks as you want here,

but no weed. Can you still not get weed here? That's weird, because you guys kept fucking margin illegal until, like, the fucking 90s. So you're a pretty normal state. We don't want to get burned again. Baby steps But instead we have tobacco that you can color green

In the 1960s The Wisconsin Commissioner of Taxation Estimated some gas stations By the state line We're selling one ton of margarine per week Oh my fucking God What the fuck? It's just because it's off limits at this point.

Yeah. People are just like, eh, it's contraband. South Beloit was the epicenter? The town of 4,000 was selling more than the city of Rockford, which had 130,000 people. So that's like the Marjorin Haven. Store hunters happily told anyone that even clergy and farmers were coming to buy. Margarine. Oh, even farmers

coming here to get their shit from us. Even the priests are coming down. There you go. Take a spoonful of that. Tell me you're not riding the fucking dragon right there, my lady. There you go. You like the taste of that? Melting your fucking head, doesn't it? We got a room if you need to come down over there. We got some rugs laid out there and some

pillows. Walk through those beads over there, lay down. We got some nice lighting in there. Don't worry. Just remember, you're part of a bigger problem and a bigger solution. We're all interconnected. Go in there. trip your fucking go trip your tits off, ma'am. Have a nice day.

Oh, no, no, no, don't, don't, oh, my God. Wisconsin was now losing out on tons of tax revenue, and, you know, it's really fucking dumb. Between 1945 and 1961,

there were six attempts to overturn margarine laws, and all failed. Oh, my God. Minnesota. I think it's time to stop wooing. That time was a long time ago. We're fucking out of our minds. 1961.

We're like, but yeah, why are you doing it? Don't know. What's your plan? Ain't got one. It's bad for you. Okay, fuck it, still don't. Minnesota repealed their laws in 1963. Yeah, look what it said to them.

Wisconsin was now the lone state with Margarine illegal. Now, Democrats were on the side of repeal, and Republicans on the side of keeping the margarine laws. Well, that might change your feelings about it. The same arguments were made. Pro butter peep said margin was a fraud and a color lie, and that butter was the wholesome American way to go. The pro-margarine people were like, uh, look, this is fucking stupid. You both have very compelling arguments. The pro-butter-only people, obviously you're very into butter, and we understand that.

But then the pro-moderate people also raise the point. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you like this? Who hurt you? What the actual fuck? Are you out of your minds? Will you drop as children? Jesus fucking shit Christ! Get your heads out of your butter?

bottoms. Also, at this time, research indicated that margin was better for heart disease. We choose to have our hearts explode. I want to go down with the butter. These colors don't run, and these arteries don't pump. Sorry to do this, do you? Thank you. I'll be dying at 54 like a good Wisconsin man.

Thank you. The biggest butter man in the state Senate was James Earl Leveridge. I can't wait to see the size of this man. There were literally no pictures of them. I had to look in the papers to find out. He grew up on a farm. He led farm co-ops and organized the 1931 anti-Margarine demonstration at the Capitol, which he rode to his seat in the legislature.

He was essentially elected because he was anti-Margarine. He was elected. And so it's 30 years later, and he's still there. He's still there, and he's like, he's like McCarthy with the Red Scare but for butter. Senator, please stop.

Stop what? Butter is better. He's now on the Senate Agricultural Committee, where all margarine law repeals went to die. There was also State Senator Gordon Rosalie Leap. Gordon Rose Heap? Rose Leap. Rose Leap. Rose Leap.

Okay. A veteran crazy anti-commy guy who was very anti-Margarine. He combined his anti-commy hate with margarine hate. whenever Imagine like trying to align yourself and then be like Jesus Christ, dude that's the whole thing

that's why we got to keep butter pure why is that? Because the Soviets these motherfuckers you don't understand they hate us for our fucking freedoms which is why we can't have butter

whenever a pro margin bill was introduced he would amend it to allow its sale as long as it was colored commie red. Dare I say, I think that was the right level. Red. It's called red spread.

And that's pretty good. Yeah, you like that, huh? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, there you do. Nice. Democratic Senator Martin Schreiber was from Milwaukee, and he was pro margarine. And on June 23rd,

1965, he came up with the idea of a taste test. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is, oh, boy. He had fellow senators try the two while blindfolded. Now, Senator Leverage... The pressure on these senators.

Well, Senator Leverage declined to take part. I'll invoke the Fifth Amendment. But Rosleap did. Uh-oh. The vast majority ID butter... He just keeps going, look, I'd like another sample. Now that one, please, again? One more over there. We're running low.

Come on, we give it up a... Not without its charm. This one over here, please? There I say, I don't hate it, but I don't trust it. You know, we're just... Oh, that's a pretty good one too. Oh, that's nice. Oh, yeah, that's good. Whoa, Senator.

All right. I plead the fifth. The vast majority IDed the butter and margarine correctly, but the one who didn't was Senator Rosleap. He said the margarine was butter. and when he learned he was wrong he said the samples came too quickly

and he didn't rinse his mouth between tests I was that is so fucking funny I didn't rinse my I was unable to I don't know why he's always Southern when it comes to this stuff and I was unable to rinse my mouth properly they still had the butt

plus I pounded a lot of butter even prior to the taste test. I was house and butter on the drive over here. Just in the stick. I'm what we call an alpha. Oh, yeah, I was butter. I was fucking stick pounding the whole drive. I like to say, I drive a stick, but she's an automatic.

I said from earlier. He also said the samples came too quickly, and the editor of the Pro Butter Capital Times wrote, quote, the farmers don't need enemies when they have friends like Rose Leap blustering and blundering through the legislature, and the front page is discrediting their cause. It's a career-ending taste. The spoonful I've never regretted more. never regretted more by Rose Leap. 20 years after Rose Leap died, his daughter. His body was exhumed.

God damn, it's all butter! He's just a fondue! Mother of God! Anyway, let's get in there. Anyway, absolutely. Get your bread in there. He's very... 20 years after he died a daughter revealed his wife

had been secretly substituting margarine because of his health so he he'd been eating margarine for years And he thought it was butter because margarine is better for your heart. At least

that's what they thought then. That is such a betrayal. How fucking dares she? She's here tonight. In In 1966, redistricting came and Leverage

lost his seat, which was a big blow for butter. The governor said he'd support a realistic margin repeal bill. This is like what people think Wisconsin politics is. Like in other states, like,

what do you do? Just fucking debate theory all day? No. But the governor was like, it's time to take a long, hard look at our but a lot. In 1967, the color ban was removed, but a tax of $5.0.1 quarter cents was kept to end, and then in 1973, that it didn't have much of an effect on farmers. The sky didn't fall. Everything just kind of went on as it was. To this day, Wisconsin, in Wisconsin, restaurants are still forbidden from serving margarine instead of butter unless a customer specifically requests it. And I wouldn't if I were you. Well, congratulations. You're out of your fucking minds.

You're out of your mind. Oh, sir. Yeah, you are. I'm the right one. You're all fucking weirdos. No, get out of here. Fuck yourself. Boy, that is the most Wisconsin story we've ever done here.

By far. And I feel in the room, there's still a lot of people who are like, screw you, Dave. You take is wrong. We were right on that one, and Marjorin should not fucking be. It's this fucking asshole's, he did it. Well, his wife did it, really. No, no, no.

He was right. To him, he thought it was butter. I hadn't even really made that connection necessarily. I thought she was like mixing it into stuff. I didn't even think he was like, may I have another spoonful? She was like, Jesus Christ, Gordon. He was only, he was eating margarine thinking it was buttered.

Oh, that's good. Butter is delicious. Uh-huh. How good does it slip down? It slips down great, Gordon. My sweet prince. my buttery buttery king may you live five

lifetime he passed away already oh fuck shit all right well whatever how the guys who were on the border for like 10 years were just like buying houses and putting in pools and all of a sudden it just one day was gone they're like no but it's like those trend hitters the guy who like opens a vape shop right away

like motherfucker bingo you know he's like I got 10 years of this shit. The sources the Olio Wars, Wisconsin fight over the demon spread by Gary Stray. Demon spread is so good.

How the fuck is there not a margarine called demon spread? Right? Like the day... And make it red. The day they made it legal in Wisconsin, I'm still filming red demon spread butter. Red demon spread butter. Spread butter, yeah.

Sensient media, history of margarine, plant-based battles, national geographic, the butter wars when margarine was pink. That guy, that guy was like, someday some guy's going to read this book. It's going to happen. Inverse.com, America's forgotten war on margarine, the telegraph courier, and the Kosh-Octon Tribune. Well, well, well. I guess the only thing to say is RIP to the greatest senator in this state's history. Yep, yep. We miss you, Gordon, Rosalie.

We miss you, Gordon. Butter forever, buddy. We hope you're up in those buttery clap. those buttery clouds right now weighing them down and you still have no idea that your wife was margarine poisoning you for half your fucking life

thank you guys so much appreciate it thank you hey dollop fans I know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.

Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.

And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.