The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 711 - Early Baseball Mascots

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the mascots of early professional baseball SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Aura Frames - Use Code: Dollop Momentous Nutrafol - Use code: Dollop Rocketmoney  Helix Sleep 

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My mom came into the kitchen today. Hick it up so loud that it scared the shit out of me. She's like, I'm sorry. This is an American history podcast for each week. I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a dweeb. Gareth Reynolds, not a dweeb who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Not at all a dweeb. Cool guy.

Hey, hey, guy who reads all the time calling fucking other guy a dweeb. Nah, the roles are dweeb, cool kid. Number one, you're not a kid. You're a middle-aged man. I'm a teenager. And number two. In this relationship, I'm 100% the teenager. Number two, you parked cars as what, when you're a teen, what were you wearing?

What were you wearing? You're going to ballet park, shame me? What were you wearing? A two-two. Dweep. Not a dream. Do you know how many girls would put their numbers into my tip slip, slit, slit? Shame.

My tip hole? Women would put their numbers. Into the tip hole. I'm determined, but... What's a tip hole? The anus. 1880 France. Hmm.

The French opera La Mascot opened. Mascot was a fairly new... The French what? La Mascot. It's an opera. The French opera. Okay, gotcha. By the way, the way that you were like, it's an opera.

Complete dweeb. Masco. What a dweeb answer. It's the opera. At least it didn't get under your skin. I'm fine, dude. Mascot was a fairly new French slang word derived from the term Mascotto, which means spell or bewitchment. Hmm.

It was a witch. It was a gambling term mostly and about having a good luck charm. Okay. So at first it was used for items like trinkets, but the writer decided to me. make mascot a person. Like a mascot. Gareth, you are smart. The opera was about an Italian farmer, Rocco, who struggled to grow crops.

And his brother, a successful farmer, sent him a new worker, Bettina, who was a keeper of turkeys. This is Bettina. This is got their cas. It's a post- Thanksgiving episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, I forgot we've already had the day of... You know, I stopped saying happy Thanksgiving this year to people. Yeah.

I just have a good week. Rocco did not read a letter his brother had sent with Bettina and it said she was a mascote and mysteriously brings good fortune to whom she's connected. This is in the opera. Yeah. Okay. As long as muskotes remain pure and chaste,

their power continues. Pure and chast? They're only virgins. You don't bang your mascot? Can't fuck your mascot. Don't bang the turkey lady? And this still goes today. Do not fuck your mascot. I've made so. I'm specifically talking to Philadelphia fans. I've made some big errors. Hmm.

So the only versions, and Rocco's fortune turns around with her there. Okay. The plot goes on, local ruler takes her, etc. And then it ends with her getting, you know,

getting the sex. A masshole. Yeah, now she's not a mascot anymore. Right. So the word. The Scotts lot. Because of the opera, the word finds its way to America. We make it really stupid.

The sporting life... It'll dress up like a chief. The sporting life. We'll be chiefs. And New York Times... We'll have a white guy do brownface. He'll put on war paint. Woo!

Hey, that's the good version of what I'm about to go into. Thanks, France. I can only imagine. The Sporting Life in New York Times, described the new phenomena that was happening, teams started taking on good luck mascots or muskotes. It is not certain who the first mascote was,

but it was believed to be handsome Dan. Handsome Dan, of course, is a bulldog that belonged to someone in the Yale class of 1892. Oh, right. And they started walking him on the field before games. It's an actual bulldog, though. Yeah, he's still the mascot today. of Yale.

There's been 18 handsome dance. Christ. They kill them if they lose. They're dying at quite a clip. Oh, yeah, I guess they are. Well, when did Yale start? So 1892. I don't know.

Yeah. No, that is. I mean, Bulldogs aren't going to live the longest. But they live at least. They're supposed to live at least 10, right? Sure. Then that's under. Okay.

But also, they're being taken care of by students. It's also a stressful life. Yeah. Yeah. And if they lose, they beat you. Yeah. And then, yeah, if you lose, well, every time, every losing season, they eat the mascot. And then you also have to know that you've gone, you're at the same school as some of the most horrible people in history.

Bushes and, and kiss and jures and so on and so forth. I'm sorry, am I the only one who wept at Dick Cheney's funeral recently? Yes, you are, actually. Tough watch. A man died. Harvard, Harvard, Harvard, Harvard had. John the Orangeman. Uh-oh.

And listen. John was an Irish immigrant, actual guy, he's an actual guy. He's an Irish immigrant who watched a football game or practice and then after offered to get the player's water. Would any of the guy or any of those guys

thirsty? I like you game. Can I get you some liquids? Would some of you like to hydrate a little bit? And so he did and afterwards, they passed a hat and he got he collected two dollars whoa that'll go a long way for me thanks gents this is what we kind of symbiosis and then someone one of the players someone said if he brought fruit to their rooms later fruit tip him more well that's a bit of an escalation isn't it all right suppose i will what are you after and he did just bring up some if you bring us all

pineapple later we'll give you more money okay and this is how he began to make a living Okay. Selling fruit to students out of a basket going into dorms and onto ball fields. Okay. So he, right. So he kind of like the first hot dog guy. Yeah. Oh, it's watermelon.

Apples. The class of 1881 bought him a hand cart, quote, they wanted to give him a darn key. That can't be right. Dorm key? A darn key, too. But, oh, this is in his. his language. They wanted to give me a donkey, too, but I'd be afraid the faculty make a row about having them in a yard. Oh, they wanted to give him a donkey, but the faculty might be best

that they have a donkey. Yeah. Well, the faculty wanted to get me a donkey. Oh, boy. So the yard manager at first refused to let the handcart in, but students kept petitioning until the school relented. Okay. John is still the only person who has ever been allowed to sell in the Harvard yard. Wow. Still there. Exactly what you like on the back of fruit. So John, after a while, getting...

Getting older, and in 1891, they bought him a donkey and a cart because it was too much of a load. And he was a fixture at games and baseball, football, selling fruit. The football team brought him to their away games, and he made so much money doing this that he was able to buy a three-story house in Cambridge. Oh, my God. No.

Times have changed. Yeah, honestly. I'd you like a better fruit? Well, pardon me. Then he goes home to a butler. Hello, Orange, John. Get out of my fucking way. There is a staged...

This is where... There's a staged picture. There's a painting, a staged painting of John with a student drinking. and there's bottles on the ground around them. It's a dry campus. Some people wonder if John was selling more than fruit. Because it's a dry campus and I think the whole area is dry at this time.

So maybe... Well, that's explain. Way more sense. Hey, can I get some of that old-timey fruit? I suppose. She wants a tonic with that. Here you are. Yeah, he's just handing people oranges.

just with, like, beers in them. There you are. Can I get an orange special? Yes. There you are. Would you like a Nana? Yeah, that's exactly what it would be. Don't peel it out of the way down, just sip from the bottom.

So the Dixon Baseball Dictionary says the first use of mascot in print was in an 1883 issue of the sporting life about a boy named chick. Okay. chick carried bats and ran errands for the players of the Potsville anthracites Oh Do you know any of what an anthracite is? I forgot to look at it up.

Yeah, anthracite's a kind of mineral So I believe it's In the area they're probably mining for Anthracite You mean for real? Yeah, yeah. Bweeb Ah, you went into the dreamtrip.

The players believed that Chick was a good luck charm And as Sporting Life quote The players pin their faith to Chick's luck bringing qualities What a nightmare You let us down today, Chick Yes You completely fucked us today, chick And they hit him with a bat

Ow! I don't know what I did wrong I'm just a boy If we lose a fourth in a row We're going to take it out of your ass Wait what being one of the most red sports papers in the country, this story led to more mascots around the country.

A year later, it was reported in the Cincinnati Inquirer that a local team now had a goat wandering around the field. It's just like they really missed the mark a little bit. Well, we got a goat. The goat was probably looking for showbills, oyster cans, or some other usually palatable dish for his stomach. But the audience could not see it in that, light and thought he was a better mascote than the old time favorite the old time favorite who knows

that was probably a person a boy or something but they had like a goat wandering the field eating from oyster cans people loved it by the way bringing a can of oysters to a game oh no that's the best way to watch a game don't agree no i like to bring any kind of canned fish y'all want some oysters there you go this game's just getting going you don't need a fork use your finger the oyster water will clean your hand. That is a natural antidebacterial. Is it? Well, I don't know, but I'm drinking the finger juice when everybody's done grabbing. Hi, I'm Uncle Caesar. I'm not legally allowed to be in at this field. Okay. Is there more to it than that? Not really, but I got a bunch of cans of oysters and I got a lot of stories. Actually, we don't need to hear the stories. Good. I don't

have any, but I do drink the finger oyster water at the end. Okay. There you go. Put your hand in there. No. It's just weird now. I feel uncomfortable. I'm terminally ill. Okay, here we go. I'm actually quite healthy.

Whir. I have leprosy figures. That's fine. Okay. Oh, that was nice. Okay, stop. In 1886, the sporting My wife passed away.

Okay. Yeah. Not too long ago. Oh, right. But I've decided to date. Okay. If you know anybody. Cool.

Yeah. It's actually a conversation like, oh, no. Some dribbled down my shirt. Okay. I don't mind it a little there. Yeah. You can see my belly button hole. You act like that's a bad thing, but at the time, at the time,

at this time. At this time. Oyster-smelling, man, were probably a catch. Literally. He's got it all. So in 1886, the Sporting Life wrote about the Browns baseball team's mascot. Uh-oh, we're getting club danger. Little Nick is the luckiest man in the country and is certainly the Brown's mascot.

This was actually the first time the E was dropped from a scote. Okay, so now we're a mascot. And the New York Times later that year dropped the extra tea when writing about Charlie Gallagher, who was a boy mascot who was, quote, said to have been born with teeth and is guaranteed to possess all the magic charms of a genuine mascot. Nope, not born with teeth. Wrong again. I know. Does that, it didn't happen.

It sounds like he had a beautiful smile. Hello. Oh, I everybody. So I guess mascot was feminine because it had a... I think so. The double of the double consonant and the E, which is feminine. And they probably also just didn't want it being Frenchy. That's what I mean, but the actual French one would be considered a feminine word.

So when you're conjugating the verb, you would keep that in mind. Okay. Whatever you think, dweeb. In Chicago, the team was led out onto the field by a band, followed by Little Willie Hahn. Hi. Who carried a huge broom on which the words our mascot were painted on. Hello. Wow!

This place is filthy. They couldn't figure out to make a sign. Hey, this place is really dirty. Oh, boy, I'm going to be sweeping all night. This is awesome. Although it could be... Who is he the mascot for? Is he the Brown's mascot?

Chicago, so probably the white socks. But also in baseball... If you've, yeah, if you went two games, it's considered a sweep when you win all three. So people will bring brooms to the stadium. Yeah. And he always had one. Yeah, I've got several brooms for that reason. What?

Yeah, 17. But at this point, it's mostly just boys and animals. That's the majority of mascots, boys and animals. Sure. And if teams did well, they would keep the boy or the animal around. If they started to lose, they cut the kid loose or the goat or goose or whatever it is. Sure. I keep the boy around. Do you mean like the boys like staying in the locker room? My parents are wondering where I am.

We are at the time of orphan trains. So it was like best case scenario for an orphan. Yes. Thank God we won five in a row. I'm going to go sleep in the shower, boys. All right, Gus. Hey, look, we lost two games. You're out, kid. Get out of here.

What? Get one of the other street action buddies in here. No, please. I've grown. I've been spoiled. Well, tough shit, because we lost. No, but I've become soft on the inside of the stadium. Well, you shouldn't have because this was always your fate. I literally had nothing to do to influence over the game. Kid, baseball is a game of streaks.

What? Sometimes you win a bunch, and we'll have having a kid around. Sometimes you lose a bunch. Kids got to go. But I have nothing. You'll be sending me to my shirt down. I'll be 100% killed if I go back out there. You should have made sure we won.

Look, we're going to kill him now. Okay. All right. See you later, kid. Hit him with a bat, Chuck. Damn. Uh, the mascots, they're no joke. They weren't like today's mascots.

They were taken very seriously. I can't even wrap my head around what that means. The 1888 St. Louis Browns. Quiet, the bulldogs here. Team photo included a boy in uniform and two dogs. That's that they considered the team. Two dogs. Is there a harder picture to take with the camera technology back then?

Christ, these fucking dogs and the boy. Wow. They're all credited. They're in the team description. Yes, in the team description, they're all credited as being part of the team. Wow. The team's nickname was the world beaters, so they probably considered these good luck charms to be an integral part of their success.

Right. And it wasn't just teams. sometimes players would pick their own personal mascot. That's fucking amazing. That should be, I've never heard anything on this show that should be brought back more than players having their own personal mascot. Let's go. I'm surprised that hasn't come back actually. Like to have on your payroll, like this is my personal assistant, my attorney, my agent, my mascot, just like some guy with like Googly eyes like hanging over.

How are you? Great to meet everybody. We're excited to be a part of the family. I didn't put it in here, but Babe Ruth had his own boy mascot. Ray. Ray? Yeah, he's a little kid. How are you?

Can you imagine what that kid saw? Mr. Ruth, you shit orgasmed again. Can you do me a favor? Can you never say shit orgasm again? Why? Because you know what I'm saying? I just don't want you to bring up the time. You know what I'm talking about, though, right?

I don't want to talk about it. Okay. It's like HP and Mayo. No, we're good. Okay. Do you know the sound it makes? Stop. In 1900, players were giving money or whatever to boys outside the stadium.

So they, like I said, there's all these kids living on the street. Right. So they'd like give them, toss them some change or whatever to get the kid to smile. And sometimes if a kid, like they liked them, whatever, they'd be like, look, look at this good luck charm and bring them into the stadium. We, I can't even. you're saying it's a better time well no I can't even imagine

how this country has functioned this like how did it just make it like it just is crazy for you to just be like why this boy's a winner come on in and watch a ball game with me boy now like I said we're talking about the time of orphan

train so there's a shitload of street urchins just living around with the homes so it's kind of a match made in heaven and you're helping the kid out right you're giving them some food or whatever. This is a pedophile's dream. Oh, my God. Can we be honest?

Yeah. This is a pedophile's dream. This is like... You're talking about just America or are you talking about this part of America? This part of America. America. Well, clearly America too. Yeah, no, it's, yeah.

But I would say that about every... This kid's my good luck charm. Get in the van. I would say that about every sex crime at the time. What? That it's... Yeah. It's all on the table.

Yeah. But this specifically to just be like, which team do you support neither i just love boys in 1908 a 10 year old orphan named ulysses simon harrison was living on the streets of chicago uh and harrison was a black kid and he apparently sought shelter in the stands during a detroit tigers game in chicago sought shelter mm-hmm okay and the team went on a winning streak and naturally they thought it was because of young harrison

And on July 4th, the Detroit Free Press reported, quote, Detroit is carrying with it a mascot bat boy, an ebony-hued pick called Rastus, who was picked up by Schaefer, Chicago. He will have a home as long as the present streak lasts. So much bad. Brain can't use. Joke.

Yeah. Oh, my God. He's got an episode. to him and he'll have a home as long as the team doesn't ever fucking lose. There seem to be different versions of it, but it sounds like Ty Cobb had run across. Oh, God. Harrison, before a game and taking a liking. He liked him?

So let's briefly talk about Ty Cobb because the last time I brought him up, everyone flipped. Not everyone. There's a bunch of people that get more upset about if you besmirch a baseball player than like anybody else. So Ty Cobb had a biography written by a guy who hated him And he made up all this shit Making him see racist And then another guy

And so that was the That was the take on him for years But then another guy wrote A correction, right? A history guy And he was like, no, he's not But they both went too far in their general directions Okay, so he was just the right amount of racist

For those of you wonder Ty Cob was the right amount of racist and the guy like you is like well his dad was for you know civil rights and stuff and it's like yeah but his dad also beat him like so you can't take from that that like he believed the same thing his fathers did right um but uh but he it sounds very much like a racist of the day not an overwhelming racist um also a lot of guys on his team fucking hated him and so so he's a very complicated person i'm never going to do a doll up on him because i think that There's so much shit out there that's just bullshit. Well, let's just say on behalf of the show that, you know, we would like to apologize because Ty Cobb was the appropriate amount of racist for the show. And we embrace that, and that's great. So, Ty Cob is the one who took a liking to Young Harrison. This black kid's okay.

And nicknamed him Lil Arastus. His name was Ulysses. Ulysses Simon Harrison What's going on? Probably after the president Yeah, but why are we calling him Rastus? Well, okay, Rastus is an incredibly offensive name For African Americans

Going all the way back to a character named Brer Rastus In the first Uncle Remus books in 1880 Uncle Rima's books were collections of stories From the Deep South And by this time, Rastus was commonly used To depict a Jolly docile slave or a happy black man

I just this is the this is the good version of I just God you imagine if white people had the history in this country that black people had the Karen that would be taking place every day

Oh my God I calling a kid that Well Rastus at that time Is a very common name And minstrel shows Oh fuck me America You don't need to say anymore

Just put an exclamation point after that America Very disturbing place That seemed to have the belief That the more socially outcast someone was The more his worth was as a good luck charm Is that not good Bring it back

We are Better than eugenics Across the country People with humpbacks Buddy The hunched back Fucking ten minutes in The hunched back as it is

Dwarfism Crossed eyes Those with mental illness Were seen as talismans So good luck Good luck charms to have around Jesus Christ Doesn't it seem like

Some really perverted disturbed sense of charity? Well, yeah. It's almost like in America, you, back then, because I'm like, now it wouldn't matter, but back then you'd be like,

well, look, I hope this kid's either normal or really abnormal. That's the only shot they got. Don't make them like pretty bad. Make it like impossible. Then maybe they could be a mascot for a traveling team.

And then, of course, in with this, through black people and Native Americans. Which is also amazed to be like, but this is a very tiny man and this woman has a hump and this is a black man. They all are horribly afflicted. So this belief in America and really a lot, obviously, a lot of the black part of it was in the South.

So this was, of course, taken up by baseball teams, the same attitude. Although there aren't as many baseball players from the South at this point. point that reverse because now many are from the south right so harrison's uh becomes the team's mascot but even so he's like tie cobb's personal mascot i guess cobb would bring him food he he would endear himself to the team by running errands for players uh so they um they let him become the tiger's bat boy and mascot and he's just in the clubhouse all time that's also really weird i mean you imagine what a child sees in a clubhouse in that crazy like just crazy crazy now you want to see me drink a beer with my dick

they let him sleep there after games crazy because he's homeless crazy well so that's nice actually it is but also what and when they went away on road trips they let him stay in the clubhouse. So this kid just, like, lives in the clubhouse for, like, nine days alone sometimes? But better than being an urchin on the street. It's so crazy, though. It's gradations of terrible. Yeah. I mean, but he's doing, like, Home Alone Clubhouse. So they immediately lost when they went on a road trip, so they decided to start bringing Harrison on the road trips, too. Now you know, the road trips are worse. By the way, crazier. In all the researching I did in this story. You see, I can fuck her because I pay.

I ate her. All the research. You understand, little boy? I know. Yeah. Because I gave her money she's like me a sex with her. Okay.

And we got a big double header tomorrow. Aye. Do me a favor. Get the butt rag. What? Right for the bottom. You know, I was racist until you became

my boy. They can make a salad after me. So when I researched this, this drove me. crazy. So everyone when they talk about this story, they still call him Little Rasmus instead of

his fucking name. Call him Harrison. Well, you can actually call him by his actual name now because it's, I don't know, 20, 25. You know, we've kind of abandoned this whole language thing you're after. So, um, I don't know what you're going for exactly,

but, uh, no. The Detroit News, quote, when Schaefer went to bat in the fourth, he rubbed his bat in the darky's hair and then singled. I can't. I just, you know what we need? What's that?

Day of shows, you just got to text me like, if we're going to go in this direction, just like a code. They just text me what we're going to be dealing with on a scale of one to five. Jesus Christ, he rubbed it in his fucking hair. So we got a single, so other players then started rubbing their bats on his hair before they went to the plate for good luck. He's just, he's the Apollo log. Rubbing black people's head is a very subtle and passive way of being disrespectful or condescending.

So condescending. But I would say this is not, well, for the time, probably more subtle than normal racism. Yeah, because they're like, he's got lucky head versus, you know, like the pat. Even still in this day, people are like, can I touch your hair? No. No, you don't, don't do that. That's a human being. Did you ever see that video where Mitt Romney is taking a picture with a group of black students?

I can't even remember this. Like, maybe when he was running for president. Do you know what I'm talking about? I think I remember this. He just goes. He just goes. Who let the dogs out? Oh, yeah.

Because he's from Utah. Not only because he's from Utah, but like that, we should have stopped America then. I've been like, all right. All right, let's wrap it up. Well, just have a meeting. we need to have a big meeting Garrett the dollop is brought to you by Rocket

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but what are you so mad about I'm doing what we do but it still happens like you can go on TikTok and see like black people being like don't touch my fucking hair what are you doing like it's still a crazy white person thing um but Ty Cobb refused to rub his head. He didn't want to do that. He's got to be racist. No, he didn't do it because he legitimately thought it was wrong. Now, despiled how wildly racist, this all is. Ty Cobb and Harrison are very friendly and close.

The Detroit News wrote that Cobb was, quote, the Ethiopian's main defender and patron. I just can't. I just, the fucking Detroit News. was so racist at the time. Like, I can't. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

I don't think we're allowed to be talking about this stuff anymore. What? Cobb would sneak Harrison into his hotel room when they were on the road and would hide him under his bunk. He made sure Harrison was never found in the hotel. It was considered particularly good luck to have Harrison sleep under your bed. This is so fucked up. What do you mean? That is so crazy.

But again, if you think about a good game, get this. boy under your bed. Well, some, he did sleep under a pitcher's bed and the guy threw like a one-hitter. Dave, shut up. And also, I'm not kidding. The kid probably heard some really weird fucking. Without question. Without question.

That's so awful. They were drinking on the road. He was just like, you sleep under my bed. Oh, my God. Yeah, give it to me tie. Give it to me tie. Give it to me tie. I'm going to skirt it.

I'm going to skirt it. Ha! Ha! ha! I'm going to score it. Oh, my God, there's a boy under your bed. Of course there is. We got a game tomorrow, you idiot. What do you think we're going to do?

I made you come, didn't I? What are you talking? You came? I'm going to fucking hit a bunch tomorrow. That's on him. That's a boy. Before I fucked you, I rub my cock on his head. Oh, Jesus Christ.

All right, you're right. That one went way too far. What's wrong with you? I agree. I've retracted. You were just the guy saying this is all too much. And I didn't mean to do that. I apologize.

Now, after a while, Harrison began to feel it and feel how fucking awesome this was. Again, he could be living on the streets. Yes. And against the player's wishes, he would go to the lobby and strut around in front of the black bellhops, telling them that even though it was illegal, he's staying in the hotel. Jesus Christ. How old? What age are we talking right now? He's a kid.

He's like Tanner. he's like really young i'm staying in the rooms boys he's a child he's like hey i'm staying in the room man yeah it's crazy this is all crazy this is insane cobb was also known to hide harrison in a locker or take other measures to protect his good luck charm so if he didn't want another player to take him or whatever or to why he looking like that it's absolutely this is this is maybe the worst thing that's happened in America. Like after the pitcher through the one hitter or whatever it was,

Cobb wouldn't let the guy have would let him sleep under the bed anymore. And that guy's bad. Come on, dude. Come on.

Baseball players are very superstitious. They always have been. I know. Like they won't change socks if they're getting hits. He seemed weird tonight, Mr. Cobb What's going on? You slept under that pitcher's bed.

What? You slept under the pitcher's bed. And he had a no-hitter, and then I didn't have a very good game. Why would you sleep under his bed when you're supposed to sleep under my bed? I'm sorry. Look, I want to be exclusive. What? Only you and me.

You're mine. Do you understand? Uh-huh. Okay. So you only see. sleep under my bed. You sleep in my locker. Do you understand? Um, all right. Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to get mad at you, man. If he wants to get his own black mascot, boy, he can. Someday I feel like this trauma is going to be really difficult for me to explain to someone. I'll be

dead when that happens. So I don't give a shit. Now get under my bed. Anyway, as the team kept winning in 1908, they attributed it to the young black kid and rubbing their bats in his hair. But then in September, they start to lose. What did you start washing your hair boy? And their lead in the standings shrinks. Get out of here.

And Cobb goes into a hitting slump. They had also started to suspect that Harrison was taking balls and bats and equipment to sell on the street. So they cut them loose. They tossed them out like an old pair of shoes. This kid is going to be so lost. No different than like... Reentry is going to be quite difficult.

Literally no different than like having a pair of cleats you wear every day because you're in a hitting streak and then you start stumping and you throw the cleats away. Literally the same thing. But it's a child. How do you even tell him? Well, boy, look, we've been doing pretty bad. so you're going to have to go back to just being homeless. Well, Harrison's no fool.

Harrison goes straight to the Cubs, who the Tigers are going to end up playing in the World Series. And Harrison promises the Cubs to put a curse on his ex-friends, and the Cubs take him in, and then they crush the Tigers four to one in the World Series. Wait, the Tigers went to the World Series, and they were like, you weren't. So they did fire him and got better?

No, they were all. already going to the World Series. They were in first place, but their lead was shrinking and they were falling apart, but they still made it. Can you a man being in first place and be like, get out of here? Get out of here. Wow. Okay, so that he jumps shit. Smart. But during the off season, Ty Cobb brings him to his home in Georgia where he had the kid work as a domestic servant, which is what you do with children. Oh my God. Oh, my God. What? Oh, wait, that sounds bad. That sounds almost slavish. What year is this?

This is 18. Oh, this is 19 something. 18, uh, 8 or 9, 18808. I just, look, I know you crushed this of the World Series, but I'd like you to come work at my house for me. I'm 11. I mean, it may not have been. From all sounds of it, Ty Cobb was he really liked the kid. It's, I understand that.

even then what the fuck is going on right now um mr cobb i'm real sorry don't be sorry you did great with the cubs come live at my house and be a servant okay good so harrison was well what else if they didn't do that so i think i know the thinking might have been like if we don't do this he might just be gone after the summer when we come back again right so I mean, I mean, after the winter. He could just end up on the streets and gone. Like, who knows? He's a street kid.

He could bend it up on an orphan train. I mean, mascot for hire. So he was... If I were to join the Cubs, I would put a curse on the Tigers. This organization is not full of idiots. We'd love to hire you. So Harrison is allowed to rejoin the team for the 1909 season. I bet that was because of cop.

That would be my suspicion. Look, I checked him out all summer. This kid is not cursing this year. He's been nothing but good luck. He was great in my house. You should see my apple tree. He didn't spill anything. My apple tree's been awesome.

The team wins again. They go on to play in the World Series. By the way, I wear him in a Bjorn now full time. Now, they go on to play on the World Series again. Okay. But at that point, Harrison is just now one of many mascots. Because when they get to the World Series, they have six mascots. They have two other boys, one who's

a black kid who became the chief mascot. What the fuck? And then they have like a goat and like dog. That clubhouse is like, this used to be a lot better. There's like a monkey and a giraffe. Sorry, I was actually, I was sleeping. That's my room. What? That's where I am. Hey, if nobody's going to use the showers, we're going to wash the goat. At the end of the season, at the team banquet, Harrison was given $64 in donations, which is over $2,000 today. So now what?

Like, my feelings on this are so complicated because it's fucking horrible, but he's also, he just made $2,000. He was never going to make that as a kid. He was fucking on the street living. It's fucked up. The whole thing's fucked up. America is a prison. So essentially do whatever you can to get yours.

So, yeah, hats off to him. But still, within that, can we just flip the goddamn table and draw up some new rules? But yeah, like, back then, like, great, good for him. He made two grand, the weird way. But that's all America is. It's just like, you know, that's it. That's what we face all. That's what we think about all.

Like, the idea of even trying to, like, when do you stop? wanting to make i mean i hate everything that this country has become and yet i'm also like boy i got to make as much money as fucking possible because this is a shit show that's right that's what this is exactly um so by the way i need to get a boy yeah so harrison was brought back again in 2010 but he only last 2010 sorry 19 10 he only lasts until june 2010 he only lasts until june when he's fired again. After he was known to work for a bit as a driver for an ash hauling

company, Gerith, he's like 11 or 12 or something. But then I found an article in the Detroit News they reported on June 30th that he'd just been fired or was no longer working at the ash hauling company. So he lasted under a month as a driver.

You can't put him back in regular society quote unquote. Do you understand? What do you mean? He's not like. You're not going to see the Philly fanatic, like working in an Arbys and be like, boy, this guy really doesn't understand how to get sandwiches cooking. That would be amazing. You know, where the fuck do you think a fired mascot is going to go, especially at that age? Tell you what, you know what, pull over up here, Bernie Brewer.

You just have no clue where you're going. I can't wait to see Vancouver this time of year. The brisk refreshing air, autumn leaves scattered across Stanley Park. I'll get to hang out at Granville Island Public Market and try the local. delicacy, candied smoked salmon, and best of all, I get to see a crowd of adoring fans at the Rio Theater. While daydreaming of fall travel, I realized my home could be working for me. I'm talking about hosting my home on Airbnb. Might as well, right? Otherwise, it will just be sitting empty while I'm gone. While you're off living your best life, your home could be bringing

in some extra cash. Whether you're off for a work trip or a family vacation, why not make the most of it? Hosting on Airbnb is smart and a practical way to help cover travel costs. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.C.A. slash host. Now, 1910, Connie Mack, he is today considered one of the best baseball managers of all time. Have we talked about him before? I believe he's come up before, yeah. But until 1910, he had not won anything, really.

He had been managing for 12 years. He had a couple of first place showings, but nothing beyond that. Okay. But then Lewis Van Zelsk came along. Now, Lewis was born in 1895. His physical issues started at the age of eight. His brother said it began when he was on a wagon and fell off, and his lung collapsed and he almost died.

That is the number one killer of children under 10, his wagon lung. These kids are falling off these wagons. an epidemic. After that, his growth stunted and his torso grew twisted, too big for his very, his short legs, but he... I'm just trying to picture this kid. He was, I can pull a picture.

What's his name? He was, uh, Lewis van Zeltz. He was, um, he was very a smiling, happy kid. Everyone liked to be around him. He was, he just had a, he had one of those personalities. Oh, well, yeah, okay. And he's super smart. Okay.

He's incredibly smart. So in September 1909, the Tigers are playing Max Philadelphia Athletics in a late season showdown for first place. I got to say the belt placement didn't help anything with this kid. It doesn't help. They probably asked them to do it like that. Yeah. So the A's are behind the Tigers by 3.5 games and little Rastas is in the Tigers. dugout, and in the A's dugout

as Lewis, getting his tryout with the team. Oh, my God, the tension between those two. Lewis had been used as the Penn University Athletics team's mascot when Mac heard about him. So he's got gotten scouted too. They're like, we're

ready to call you up to the majors. Basically. You're pretty good. They got a good win streak. Everyone in America is a total fucking moron. We'd like to sign you for a week. Test you out. So Max sees him You are in the dumbest country

In the dumbest period In the history of the world Do you understand Max sees him in the stands And yelled to him quote How'd you like to 10 bats for us today And so during the next two games The A's caught lucky breaks

And won And so now they're just 1.5 games Behind the Tigers And while they didn't end up catching The Tigers that season Lewis did catch on with them It I look we need a mascot no we have one we do and I thought it was running the merch store

we really it's not even the idea of the mascot it's the adults being like these children have influence over reality but it's but they they think they truly think like I put on this wristband and I start hitting it like baseball players have this distorted oh my God huge distorted superstition things yeah I agree

bring back the kids yeah I agree bring back the kids good Lord so the next spring Max signed Lewis to a contract as a mascot who's negotiating that I mean what it's like I take it your exclusivity is a bit of a problem

now in the season you can have exclusive rights, but in the out season, I should be allowed to enjoy whatever product. Yeah, where we want to go. He wore a uniform. He made road trips. Two players wears guardians and made sure he went to mass on Sundays.

Travel is hard because Lewis had spasms of pain. Sorry, but you got to hit the road with us on the bus. He's hurting back there. Well, we're winning, so tell him to shut the fuck up. He never complained. reporter quote, he had the courage

of a Spartan. I honest to God, Dave, I don't know what I hate more. America's nightmare or the people who write about it like it's normal. The players loved him. Even the opposing players

loves him. Ty Cobb really liked him. If a hitter was slumping, Lewis told him, quote, better rub my back for a hit this time. at one point Max sent him out to be the first base coach but the umpire immediately sent him back into the dugout because he clearly be heard of football was hit at him

also he was like no there's a whole like there's a you got to fill out some paperwork no you didn't you can send anybody out there to be first base coach we want the monkey to pitch but he looked at him and he was like no football gets hit hard he's not going to be able to move out of the way don't worry he won't hit he didn't rub my back everybody cool out so the team starts better that season much better another player was leading the leagues

and stolen bases over tie cobb the pitchers were pitching better the a's won the most games of any team in american league history at that time 102 and in the world series they played the mighty cubs with a couple of injured players people thought they would get crushed lewis got a big moment when Mac let him carry out the A's lineup card to home plate before game one. In the final game, they scored five runs in the eighth, and as they rubbed the hell out of Lewis's back, won the World Series. I just, how the fuck? Isn't that great?

Man, you know what they're doing right now. They're all going back out there to rub the back of the boy who needs medical attention. They are celebrating, I'll tell you what, Don. And there are a few moments that choke me up in this event anymore, but watching them rub that big old back of that child there, believing that there's a genie inside of that hump, makes me really, really feel something I haven't felt in a long time. Makes you remember what this sport is all about. I'll tell you, I get a little tear-eyed when I think about treating a human being as not as human. Well, I think in a civilized society, this boy would probably receive some sort of medical attention for the clear pain that he's in. but instead the A's have figured out a loophole

and instead they just go out there, let the boy rub the bats, rub the back, he sleeps in the clubhouse, he rides on the bus, he's quite sick. But all that has culminated in a World Series victory that nobody saw coming. Worth it. Absolutely worth it.

And the boy, we should point out, the boy is down. He's really, uh, he's in a lot of pain. This season has taken a lot out of him. I hear they're looking at half Tommy, who is a boy that was cutting half. That's right. lower half somehow survived and they're taking the bottom half of the boy on road trips with them. But I don't know if there's going to need them next year. Somebody will probably pick up half

Tommy. That's right. By the way, we should point out that the Minnesota twins have a finger as a mascot. A child lost it in a combine harvester accident. And they've taken that on the road. It is a pinky. And I'll tell you what. Some of their offseason moves already seem to be paying off future dividends. But this is not about the future. This is about the A's who have put together quite a streak and the boy who deserves some sort of doctor intervention, who's not going to get it, but instead here is being rubbed by 50 grown men who sometimes sneak him into the hotel and put him under their bed. And he rides on the bus with them, closing out the season. Top of the bus sometimes, too, where the luggage goes. Thanks, Rick.

When the A's return to Philly, after the victory, fans lined up for a gauntlet and the players passed through, and Connie Mack was in front, and beside him, just barely as tall as his belt, was Lewis limping along. Oh, my God. I mean, again, I, it's like, it is a weird little life lottery for someone who had all this. And yet, just the level of exploitative awfulness is hard to process. Like for him in this moment, he's like, this is pretty cool. Yeah. But it's also like, hey, how about dignity with life?

Mack had finally won a World Series, and the Inquirer wrote, quote, many of the players felt that the diminutive chap who walked beside the great Connie Mack had a lot to do with the humbling of the Cubs. That's so stupid. Connie himself thought so. So fans were also like, there, that's what we want. Everybody thinks that he's a big part of it, truly. What do you think the mean average IQ is for America? Seven?

Yeah, I mean, it's got to be like super desperately low. It's not high. Here's the team photo from that ear, and you can see him in the front. Oh, my God. Of course I know exactly. Oh, my God. He is in the team photo, and it is very clear that he is a much smaller person than everybody else in the team photo. Is the coach dressed like an art thief?

Well, they, yeah, they didn't, I'd think back then they didn't dress in uniforms, maybe, or maybe for the picture. So fucking crazy, dude. He might also be the owner at this point. He's also got a glove on. Who? The kid. Yeah, sure. What would you do?

Give him a life. So the next season, Lewis was back and the A's rolled on an into the world series against the New York. York Giants. But Giants had a very special power in their dugout, Gareth. We got a lizard. Of course, I'm talking about

Charles Victor Faust. Charlie was born in 1880 and grew up on a Kansas farm. Unfortunately, he had mental issues. Oh, God. And was just... I'll tell you what. They might have a boy

who looks like his pants or his neck. This guy's out of his fucking tits. he was just too incompetent to run the family farm What the fuck? And Charlie really couldn't do much And then in 1911 He went to the county fair And went to a fortune teller

Oh my God And she told him He would become a professional pitcher And lead the New York Giants To the pennant So Charlie immediately headed for St. Louis How many people do you think that fortune teller told that to that day? Like half.

You will lead the New York team to the Jacks will win the pennies. Guys like 80. You think so? Okay. I just thought I'd finish the farm. No. I can't move my leg. That's not going to be an issue.

So Charlie immediately hops on a bus and goes to St. Louis because the Giants are there playing the Browns, and he somehow manages to meet John McGrath, the Giants manager, and explained what the fortune teller told him. Well, that's as good as a doctor's note. And so McGraw is like, I'll give a tryout. Well, shit. I mean, if a fortune teller at a fair told you to do this and you did it, it seems good enough to me.

You ever seen them when we big? I think that's real. Pretty sure this is big. So he was awful. He couldn't pitch. And yet, that day the Giants won. Now, look, you're a terrible pitcher. But we did win.

I think you have magic mascot powers. You're dumb as a box of boxes, kid, and that is something special. You've got a crazy attitude. And that's just the kind of thing we need to have here in our locker room. They won the next day. And then the Giants are heading out town on a road trip. for the rest of the road trip, I mean. And when they came back to New York,

they found Charlie waiting for him at the stadium. I mean, and they went. Like, imagine if you picked your boyfriend or girlfriend with this. This is how I've done it. This is, like, scary. Like, oh, wow. I mean, I don't know.

I didn't really like her, but we went out twice and, you know, I had good luck, and then she keeps waiting outside of my place. I think I'm going to marry her. Well, then they went on a winning streak. this obviously was not a coincidence and they decided they decided as a group to bring Charlie on as their mascot he's immediately proper with everybody and he'd

he'd go into the outfield and he'd work out like this clumsy like he's clearly got no talent he's not gifted and he'd work out in the field uh before games and the fans would like laugh at him and he'd be trying to pitch or run and wow he's terrible trying to get grounders and missing it and they're just not can't throw it first whatever so they're all laughing at him they had brass bands back then and he would go and like pretend to lead the brass band funny for everybody except for the people in the band who are like Jesus come on you guys there you go

that's the three two blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah during the game he broke my conducting stick during the game he cheer in the dugout and sometimes he That has got to be obnoxious as shit. Yeah. Yeah, it can't be good. No. Sometimes you go outside the outfield wall to warm up in case they needed him to pitch. Like, we don't need you.

It's not happening. Yeah. He's eating the ball like an apple. But they keep winning. And they win the pennant. And Charlie is there in uniform. Sorry, when Charlie was with them in uniform. They won.

36 and 2. I'm starting to come around. The most insane baseball. I've never heard of that. I've never heard that. Charlie's middle name was Victor, so he started calling himself victory, and the press ran with that. That's a good one. That is good.

But he's frustrated because he's not getting to pitch. I think he doesn't really understand. understand the arrangement. Well, you heard the fortune teller. I didn't. She said he was going to pitch and help them win the pennant. Has anyone ever gone back to a fortune teller? That's the move.

After five years ago, yeah, there's a lot of bullshit. Well, in big, but again, that was a machine. Yeah, well, that was a Zoltan. So he became so frustrated after he asked one day, and McGrath said, no, that he left and went over to the Brooklyn Dodgers. Wow. But he only lasted there a few days. before he came back.

Hey, I got to be honest. They're not right. Not great. He also did, would sometimes do a vaudeville gig and he missed games. Oh, wow. So some agent took advantage of him. Like, did you so much bigger than just running around conducting the brass band? Who's in?

You've got a vaudeville showing you. Who's in town tonight? The mascot from the Giants. There's a guy who couldn't run his family farm who led the Giants to a 36 and two, apparently he's a delusional child with some mental problems. There's him, and then there's a camel. I would go watch the camel. I will go watch both of those.

I mean, that's literally what it was, though, right? Well, there's a camel with a wagon wheel on his back, and then there's a guy who's telling his story about a fish he caught. 36 bucks a tip. Judith, one day he missed a game because he was going around New York City sampling pie. Buddy, I get it. Buddy, I'm with you. The Luke Simmons story.

When he was there in uniform, the Giants could not lose. Like when he was out of uniform, they were like 36 and like seven or something. Well, they were probably like, yeah. So he was, yeah, probably is a mental thing also. So, like, on their part... If I paid him, like, if you were a pitcher, you're probably like, please come to my... Yeah. Like, on their part, it was probably, like, a confidence thing, right?

If he's not there, you're like, ugh. Yeah. Yeah. He was always happy, and it seemed like his feelings, he just couldn't be hurt. It seemed like they, you know... Right. Some writers made the point that this was clearly taking advantage of young Charlie, but the team was resolute. I thank God for some writers being like, hey, it seems really fucked up.

What? We're winning pennants, shithead. The players loved him, I think. It sounds like one loves a rabbit's foot that's in their pocket, maybe. Sure. Charlie still really wants to pitch. And once they had the pennant won, they still have some games to play. Oh, my God.

But they've won. So McGraw lets him pitch an inning against Boston. He gave up one run. Boston was like, we are shit. I've seen this in high school baseball. So, and I read about it. how he pitched so in god i want to say the late 70s there was a guy that threw a pitch that was so slow that nobody could hit it yeah it's like the the biggest change up yeah and he had like

he was like the third or fourth best pitcher in major league baseball that year and they went into the second year into the sand then everyone was like okay we figured it out but that's what he was so he would throw the ball and it would get to the plate and then just die and so it looked like it was going to go to the plate and they'd swing and then it would just because he couldn't throw it that far so he they just weren't used they were like we haven't played bad and so like we haven't played a terrible baseball player in a long time um what did i tell you skip because giving up one run is pretty good for yeah yeah he also got to bat in the bottom of the ninth even though we're already three out so they were being nice at that point in the last any of the game um

In the last inning of the last game, they let him pitch again. Okay. The other team did not score. Oh, God. And he got to bat again. Oh, no. But this time, the other team hit him with a pitch intentionally. Oh, my God.

That's fucking, that is fucking savagery. So he could run the bases. Okay. Couldn't you just throw four balls? Yeah, you could have. All right. We're going to give him a respectful bean. Keep a mind, this kid's not 100%.

They probably didn't hit him hard. That'd be hilarious if the guy just fucking Billy Madison. There you go, kid. Take your base. And then they let him steal second and third. Sure. And then he was bunted in to score, run. All right.

So now we are, and I don't mean to be rude or shitty, but this is, did you ever see there was this kid's make a wish was to dress up like Batman and save San Francisco? Yes. We're in that territory. We are. This is okay. This is like a Chris Connelly ESPN thing where they're just like, a little Darren wouldn't give up. Yeah.

No, I've seen this in a bunch of different things. Yeah. This is cool. This is nice. Again, I don't think you need to bein him. He gets back to the dugout. Imagine watching one of those ESPN stories and they bean the kid. They're like, Jesus Christ.

He gets back to the dugout and he's got a huge smile and he keeps saying, Who's Looney now? Oh, no. Oh, no. But they face the A's in the World Series. So now we have the power of the hunched-back guy is that stronger than the Mr. Looney. You know, it's really the craziest, most disturbing, fucked up disability off in the history. Now that we've gone through the roster, let's talk about the issues both mascots have.

Yeah, one by back, one by brain, both mentally infirmed or physically infirmed. This is a real chess match over who's been dealt the worst hand? Well, Gareth, the power of the gentleman with the hunchback won. I'll tell you what, I favored him all the time because of experience. He's been to the big dance before. So the Giants lose. Super sick kid, not able to really do much anymore, but they keep him there on a little board and they walk him around with it.

Make sure that he's still there. Unfortunately, victory. Didn't have enough to pull it out for them, but that hasn't stopped him from running around the clubhouse and he's got a big cut on his head. I don't know how he got that. Charlie afterwards reminded everyone that the fortune teller said they'd win the pennant,

not the world series. Jesus, I'll tell you what, locker room-wise, I'd be like, get him the fuck. Get him the fuck out of here. Do you understand me? I will smack this kid. Now, for his part, Lewis got a huge bonus. Sure.

And the A's went on to win. Can I go to a doctor? No. So Lewis, they go on to win the World Series next year. And Lewis, obviously, playing a huge part by having a physical issue. Great. Of course. You know how it works.

Not the same for Charlie, though. Oh, dear. So Charlie shows up the next season for spring training. and McRaw is surprised because no one had asked him to come. Oh, no. That might be because of the previous season, there were a lot of sports writers saying what they were doing to Charlie was humiliation. Right.

And McGraw had to constantly argue that it was good for Charlie. So McGraw was convinced to allow him to stay on the team again, and the team was winning and had a 54-4. 11th start, but Charlie kept demanding playing time. That's where it's, that's, again, we're talking about just, you know, you can't fault someone for how they behave in a jail nightmare, but that is the misstep. I will say. If you're quiet and you're just sort of, you know what I mean, but to be like there and be

like, skip, when are you going to put me in for God's sake? But I will say there are kids on Finns teams who are terrible at baseball. baseball and think they're the best player on the team. So it's a very weird thing that happens. Stand up. So he believes he was an integral part of the World Series team

and he should play. And it really starts to get on McGrath's nerves and McGraw is no longer amused by his antics. And some people said was worrying about his mental state. Anyway, he cuts him. Cut him. So Charlie waits around for the

rest of the season. Is this the story about the joker became so Charlie waits around for the rest of the season waiting for the call to come back I'm staying in a game shape it never comes back the Giants went on to play in the World Series

and they lost Charlie couldn't give it he didn't give up though for the next couple of years he sent telegrams to the Major League Baseball Commissioner asking for a contract with the Giants but it never happened

he moved to Seattle with his brother, but he still had baseball under his skin. And when the Giants were headed to Portland to play a game, he decided he would meet them there. And so he started to walk from Seattle to Portland. If history on this show has taught me one thing, Dave, it's that the media will take notice. Nope. On the way, he was stopped by the police and arrested. So it's worse.

Oh my god We're mascot ice And mice Can I just say yes Can I just say You know Watching just the non sequitur here But the

I feel weird making jokes about ice Because I always think it's so strange How All right So we have the terrible thing that's happening We can't process it And then three weeks later It's the third rail of comedy

And it starts to become like Funny enough to, like, make jokes about a little bit. And you think that's normalizing it? And I think that helps normalize all of it. And then all of a sudden, it's sort of like, like, I'm like, we're going to be like eating people's bones. And then eventually, like, we'll be like, I mean, tell you what,

I wouldn't mind eating her bone, though. You know, and we'll be like, ah, fortunately I would say, I know what you mean, but I would say that they're so brutal and savage that they can't be normalized. I think, okay, right, okay. All right. Fair enough.

I think shitting on them is funny. Yeah. You have to shit on them. But I think where you're sort of like, you know, if you do the thing where you're just like, I mean, my pasta took like 45 minutes. And I was like, maybe we should revisit this ice thing. Yeah. Like to me, I'm like, fucking what?

Yeah, that's not a good one. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. Like I saw today a video that they were just spraying people in their cars with pepper spray, just randomly. yeah yeah uh so their brutality will you can't normal you won't people to normalize it um that's that is amazing that there is no bottom uh so he gets arrested um and then the court sends him to a mental asylum oh my god i would imagine partially because he's like i'm a baseball player and i he put

a fortune teller told me to be a pitcher he put on the intake form i'm a baseball player and so technically he's right I agree he is right this is like his only job but that would sound to a court like someone who is sure but aren't they able to be like yeah he was he like

they could but corroborated it I mean I don't think this is a time where it's as easy to corroborate something like that yeah yeah anyway but also people are terrible to people with mental issues so well by the way

it sounds like this was probably better treatment than what he would get today Lewis is having a much better time The A's kept him on the team And they won the World Series again in 1913 But lost the World Series in 1914 So Lewis had four World Series appearances And three championships as a mascot

He is the MVP Yeah, he's killing it He was there for almost every home game And many road games Now you've seen the movies like Rudy where the players run out and they hit them Notre Dame sign

as they're going out yeah you know but Rudy's a work of fiction so they would do that before the game with Lewis they would every player now rubbed his rubbed his

hump slap him real hard on the way out boys they all rubbed the hump before the game isn't that for years that went on

he was invited I'm going to slump bring me the hump he was invited to second baseman Eddie Collins wedding but his physical issues did catch up with him. He fell ill

after the 1914 season and then died of kidney disease. Stuff him. Bring him on the road. Jesus Christ. A streak's a streak. Charlie was released, but I will say this. As the doctor if he can remove the hump and we'll just bring that. It'll make the hump the mound.

Are you listening to me? I'm trying to, I don't know what to say to it. Me either. But like, again the mound obviously an homage you go back to the same thing with uh rasmus rastus um so this is a guy with a severe physical issues who at this time would just be completely cast out of society and not taking care of you know i think we're i think we still have um freak shows right like the level of not caring about these people is extraordinary so to have your last five years of your life to be part of a winning baseball team this is uh again it's like it's the level of terrible yeah you would like again i mean you'd you'd rather just be like hey

let's talk about uh cross the board dignity but instead you're like hey that fucking sick kid really had a good run as a good luck charm but it's like there's a lot of other sick kids who could use help and yeah no no everyone else is getting screwed but yeah you yeah i mean it's kind of like being a child actor to some extent. It's just sort of like, hey, you had hell of a run, but you know, this is, this will end and you're lucky. This can be terrible. This is going to be terrible.

Yeah. So, Charlie was released from the asylum, but soon after was admitted to another one, and he died June 18th, 1915 from tuberculosis. Giants lost that day. Why did you? The A's played bad in the World Series, sorry, the A's played in the World Series in 1914, but after he died, after Lewis

died, they finished in last place. Oh, my God. And then they finished in last place for the next seven years. Oh, my God. That is, I mean, what is the line here? The line is that maybe it's like, don't go's feather. No, obviously we're not saying he's a good luck charm. No, we're saying he's the best luck charm.

But we're saying, I would say, that the players have an artificial confidence. Dumbo's feather. I don't know what that means, but yes. Dumbus feather. Dumbus the feather. The feather was why Dumbo flew. Oh. Or was Dumbo just a flying elephant?

And the second that was revealed to Dumbo that the feather was just there to give Dumbo the confidence to fly, Dumbo flew without the feather and realized the feather was just something that was a placeholder for his true gift. The message is put elephants on the circus. It's an awesome place for a wild animal. Now, the Crosstown Phillies

have to watch the A's success for all these years while they failed. So naturally, they're like, we need a hunchback. Which is literally what they say. They tried out at least two that we know of. Oh, can you imagine being like at the audition?

All right, look, we're looking for one. One. One guy was named Eddie Notton, and he was the mascot when the Phillies won their first pennant in 1915. Now, not doing well, the A's manager, Mac, thought maybe it was because of the lack of a mascot after Lewis or should I be more specific he literally thought he needed someone with a hunchback

that is also really shitty he's I can't I mean they're really I'm trying to find a way to I mean what we're talking about right now is we need a new hunch baseball teams think they need a human being with a specific physical

deformity in order to be good at baseball. That's right. Everything they're doing is important, but the sealer is like, look, he was obviously very important, but we need to find a new hunch. This is, we're going to do it Dalai Lama style.

We're going to go from town to town and find the newest. So the A's auditioned a 13-year-old kid from Philly named Huey McLoon. I want to tell you something. The last name is terrible concern. It's not good. Well, I tell you about. Marketing-wise, far better. McLeon.

So it's 1916, and as soon as Huey walked in, he said, Snickering started, quote, I felt queer. They all began to laugh and kid me. Max said Huey wasn't as likable as Lewis. Yeah, because, yeah, he's got a little more self-respect from himself. Well, I, excuse me, asshole. Right?

Yeah. I mean, do you have fucking any, do you know where the fuck he's living right now? Oh, I mean, what the fuck do you expect, a positive attitude? And the team is not nearly as good as the ones that Lewis is on. So he ends up firing Huey. Hewy has a hard time finding job, and he became a police informer to get by, and then gangster shot and killed him in 1928. Mascots are just what?

Did you not like that? It's just, if I just met him. I just met him, and now the mob shot him? So mascots are a thing now. They're clearly a thing. Eddie Bennett was born in 1903 and had a spinal cord injury. I cannot believe that, Dave, I cannot fucking believe that. I mean, this is one of, this is like, there are so many things in history that just feel like you take two bingo balls out of a machine and you just go baseball, sick kids, mascots.

All right. Eddie Bennett was born in 1903 and had a spinal cord injury when he was young that left him with the deformity. Your baby looks pretty hunched. We'd like to bring him in for a tryout. His parents died during the 1918 flu, so he's an orphan, but he's older then, right? He's 15. Were they vaxed? Yeah.

No, they weren't. Of course not. Yes, they were backs. Sorry. The next year, he was at the polo grounds in New York, which is a little. ball field when a member of the visiting white socks saw him and asked him to be their bat boy you back is that your natural is are you naturally do you have a very bad curve are you in a lot of pain yes we'd like to take you on the bus with us okay all right it's gonna hurt yeah it'll hurt

absolutely but we've sucked for a while okay so we were looking for someone just like you i'll do my best yeah all right Bennett it is yeah Eddie Bennett They'll tell you what, more like Eddie Pinnett. Ow, ow, ow. There's something squirted out of the back of your neck. Yeah, it hurts when I put my head back like that. Oh, I think I have to get a cape over you or so like. I would like to go to a doctor?

Yeah, did you say the Dodgers? Well, we do play them on this road trip. Doctor. Absolutely, we'll get you to the Dodgers. No problem. I need to see a doctor. You could have seen the Dodgers. Don't worry.

We'll go get you there. Hey, guys, this kid's got a fucking problem with the Dodgers. We're going to show him The White Sox I'll tell you what He fell last night He just kept saying Dodgers Dodgers

He hates the Dodgers This kid fuck He's got fucking venom for the Dodgers man The White Sox Lost the World Series that year And Eddie moved on And then the Dodgers hired him Finally

I'm going to the Doctors. Yeah, the Dodgers. We're going to take you. You wanted to be on the Dodgers the whole time. Oh, the doctors. You win the Dodgers, boy. You're in our cuphouse.

Oh, God, please take me to a doctor. And I ain't the boys where he belongs. This kid's fulfilled his destiny. Where do you want to be? Doctor. Dodgers. Let's chat it. Dodgers.

Dodgers. The Dodgers went to the World Series that year and lost. So he was out again. Oh, my God. You get to the World Series. And in 1921, the Yankees hired him. good time to point out that three teams were all looking for someone with a hunched back and like he's like running like he's it's like it's like pilot season like everyone's like

we want to put him on a show we just got to find the right vehicle but here's the thing he would go on to be with the Yankees for 12 years and is maybe the most popular bat boy in the history of baseball he took the job very seriously keeping the bats in order never speaking of inside clubhouse business you don't tell anyone what you saw in here do you understand? Yes, but I saw you making out with Mick. Yeah, and you'd be quiet about it. Okay, but

that's a weird thing. I really want to tell people, you know. I won't say a fucking word. I won't say a thing. I won't say anything. You be quiet about the stuff you've seen in here, okay? We are a terribly racist, sexist, assaulting teen. Yeah. But you're one of us, so you be quiet. Okay. Right. Now, the only way for you, for us to know that we have your secrecy.

Uh-huh. You're going to fuck this woman in front of the team. Jesus Christ. Do you understand me? Yes. Okay. Woo. We're going to throw jelly at you.

He was often seen crying after they lost. The players loved him. I think the, like, it, you know, elevating, like, you're, it is true. This is a truly charmed. great experience for anyone. I mean, if, you know, if I was a kid and they were like, hey, the team's going to bring it, like, that is great. It is, and, and if it's this version where it's kind of like,

there is dignity involved in it, then it's, yeah, then it's like, okay. Because he, he, like, he, like, but he became the equipment manager. Right. And the teams do love the, the teams do love their equipment. So he, he was brought in as a, like a ridicule joke thing, but then gained respect and popularity because he was able to do a good job at equipment manager. Yeah.

Right. There you go. And that is like, yeah, I mean, that's, if you, if you surround society, then with, you know, actual care for everyone, then this is great. Yeah. Yeah. But if you make it that it's like, boy, if you have, if you have some sort of medical issue and you're, you don't have a home.

because society doesn't give a fuck about anyone and some of these people just win the scratch off lottery well then it becomes weird. Well, also, but like, you know, as a society, just discard people who have disabilities. If they don't give you luck. But a guy gets a chance that he can do the fucking job.

If their hump's not lucky enough. Right? He does a job. Totally. Yeah. Okay, so players love him. Some players won't let anybody else touch their bat ever. Oh man, that's obviously strange.

Babe Ruth had Eddie deliver an admiring note to his future wife. pitcher urban shocker roomed with Eddie. Sorry, I puked on you. Will you marry me, Babe Ruth? Roomed with Eddie on road trips when he was trying to keep his health condition from his teammates. He was the rare mascot with a

physical condition who gained the respect to the players and he went to many World Series with the team. But in 1932, he was hit by a cab and seriously injured. Oh, now we're back to the thing about disabilities because America better now, but back then

not at all safe for people with disabilities. The recovery time was lengthy and he gave up his job. And then he started drinking, was very depressed, and he died in 1935. Now the Yankees run a road trip so they couldn't come to the burial,

but the team paid for his burial and all the entire front office attended his funeral. So the time was a grim one, using people with physical and mental issues as mascots would not obviously be done today. Oh, wait. In 2004, Nelson de la Rosa of the Dominican Republic met Red Sox superstar pitcher Pedro Martinez. Oh, my God.

Ah, I forgot about this. Nelson was 54 centimeters tall, maybe the smallest man in the world. He had done some acting at this point. And the two men started hanging out. And soon, he was in the Red Sox Clubhouse. And the rest of the team loved him. And he became Gareth. He became Gareth?

The Red Sox, good luck charm. Now, wait a minute. Stayed with them all the way through the World Series victory when the Red Sox broke their 86-year World Series championship drought. and then after the season Pedro left the team for the Mets and Nelson was pissed and he was heartbroken and he couldn't get over the fact that Pedro would leave the team and Pedro told press having Nelson around was a quote

was quote just a trick and then they stopped talking and Nelson died two years later of heart failure at 38 years old oh my god this is just the craziest shit 2004 it is 2004 they did the

I mean besides having him as a bat boy they didn't do that but they had him there in the clubhouse all the time and he was very

tiny he's been in movies like the island dr. Moreau and stuff like he's like a really small dude but yeah it was and the thing is

I love Pedro Martinez like I think he's one of those he's one of the greatest pictures ever but also like a crazy character character and a fun character and then you hear this and you're just like fuck i got a page on my story for you okay when he's the valley park cars in boston when before the 2004 world series like

years before um he pulled up once in a Porsche uh this is cell phones were just popping he had a cell phone that he was talking on and he was trying to give me like 50 bucks to keep his car up front it was like me and another dude and he had a little bag like a man purse kind of full of other cell phones and he was like digging through like three or four cell phones to find the money I didn't say a word but he gave us like $50 and went in and we were like what he already had burners for girls it was crazy he's had burners for all of his it was crazy yeah that's what that is that's got to be that I don't know we were both like what just happened so funny Yeah, so that was a bummer to read.

Sources 19, oh, sorry, the culture clash.com. Today I found out.com. Detroit Free Press. SABR.org. That is article Little Rastus Cobb's Good Luck Charm. Wikipedia, the FDR Foundation.org, John the Orangeman revealed, human mascots exploring the extreme side of baseball superstition by Jeff Sullivan at SB Nation, the dark history of sports mascots by Jonathan Brannon on Medium.com,

and the disturbing history of baseball mascots by Frank Fitzpatrick in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Well, that really, like, I, again, I mean, even today, like, there's a ton of shit that's still exploitative today. Well, yeah, I mean, look, there isn't a huge step from the, I mean, look, they're not actually having a Native American run around. It's a fucking guy in a costume. But watching like the fucking the Florida State still do their

fucking chants, their little. Well, the Native Americans. And the fucking and the braves they're doing the fucking chop with, you know, just fuck off with that shit. Well, Kid Rock travel around with a fucking very sick Josie, I think it was. But I mean, again, it's like, I don't know.

I don't know. I think, what the, what the, I don't know. I mean, I do think like, As long as you're going like there is a healthy enjoyment factor that is consented to in a way that feels on the up and up, then I guess whatever, you know. But if you are, if you are, it's again, I mean, it's punching down versus just sort of having, elevating someone's life experience, I guess. But it's a very way I mean In the like

It's like a hard It's even hard to discuss and try to try to sort of mince through It is when I in the late 90s I went to Lancaster Pennsylvania to do a stand-up gig And that was where I found out that young Amish The dudes would go park their trucks and young Amish teenagers would come out to fuck them

What? Yeah Yeah Because they're so repressed They're just like whatever But but there were was in town there was but the autism rates there was a little person and he uh he was working as he was in a coffee pot uh outfit outside of a coffee of cafe and he would just stand there to try

to get people going i was just like dude i got i was just like what what are you guys fucking doing same time and someone said well he tried to get other jobs and he couldn't get one and i was just like oh my god same time in Milwaukee there was was a restaurant, a Mexican restaurant open up, called Nacho Mama. And I mean, dude, I remember when I first fucking heard about it, they were like, there's a little person who wears a sombrero with chips and salsa on it. Oh, my God. And walks around from table to table and you can eat chips and salsa out of the brim and

the top of the hat. And then, and I mean, I was in high school. And it was like, and then you were like, oh yeah they like he's not there anymore like it became too uncomfortable but no no no not even that it's like he was getting he became problematic yeah because he was probably drinking to fucking it was probably i mean totally to like get through it probably i mean you what do you expect of course he's gonna become problematic we gotta let you go look and we're not we're not it's not like we're fucking kicking ass with the as far as the people with

disabilities. I mean, my god, don't read about like what fucking Canada and like England, the word, and I don't know about America because I don't know if we can keep records on this shit, but the number of people that just had like downs or some sort of disability that they were just like, great, let them die

because of COVID instead of trying to fix them. You know, it's trying to heal them, give them whatever they could. They just let them fucking die. It's called a comorbidder. And you're allowed to have it. Well, as long as everyone feels not good anymore.

You're welcome. There you go. That's the show. This is the show. I would say this is a perfect encapsulation of what the show is. I started out. I'm going to do a baseball episode. And then I just saw this.

And then I was halfway through. I was like, well, this is a fun baseball episode. Yeah, you were probably like, well, I've put 10 hours of work into this already. So we're going to do it. That's kind of what it was. Shit. Loopsie. All right.

There you go. Thanks, everybody. Oh, and by the way, happy Thanksgiving. What could be better than seeing Gareth Reynolds do standup. Go to garethrenalds.com for tickets and information. I will be in Omaha on November 28th and 29th. I will be in Vancouver, British Columbia on December 2nd, Seattle, Washington, December 3rd, Eugene, Oregon, December 4th. Then I will also be in Kansas City, Missouri doing a makeup show. Come on, everybody. Shake off the New Year, January 2nd, January 3rd. And just announced, I will be back. in Portland, Oregon at Helium Comedy Club on February 6th and February 7th. That's going to be a five-show weekend over two nights. So go to gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information. Join me.