The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 719 - General Edwin Walker - live

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine General Edwin Walker SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Helix Sleep  Squarespace - use code: Dollop Chewy

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport, and 26th, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. Dave, Dave, I want to tell our audience something very exciting. I made a movie called Give It Up. It's going to be in the CineQuest Film Festival.

If you want to go see it, go to Give It Upfilm.com. March 15th in San Jose You can go see the movie We're in a huge theater So go to give it upfilm.com It's called Give It Up So Give It Up What's it about?

Cats About an hour and a half You're listening to the Dallup It's an American History podcast Where each week I, Dave Anthony Read a story from American history to a...

Sexy, babe. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Good work, Dave. November 10th, Edwin Walker was born in the small town of Center Point, Texas. Beautiful. Was anywhere appealing from 1830 to 1914? Was there ever anywhere where you're like, yeah?

Everywhere I've seen is basically looks like a set. Yeah. Yep, that's it. Okay, yeah, all right, more dog shit. Okay. He was raised on a farm but was expected to go into the military. Yep, just like you. And he went into the New Mexico Military Institute and then West Point.

Nice. Always good. And he finished in the bottom third. That's like finishing in the top third, in my opinion. Yep. He did make the polo team, though. Who cares? And he got a spot on the U.S. Army polo team.

Is that really? Is that hard? Are they like, we need a ninth. You're in! Are there nine? Oh, yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, nine on each starting line, yeah.

What's your favorite position? I mean, personally, I like a center back, but you also got to have the Junker. So, Junker's good because they're a wild card. You got the Romer, and then whoever does the Cannonball when he tacked. I like the coach. What's your favorite horse for polo? Horse for polo? I call a Darwin.

I like a Darwin. I like a red Darwin. Yeah, that's good. Keep firing. I'm going to answer all your fucking stupid questions with really smart answers. Go ahead. When World War II broke out, Ed was at that point a colonel, and he volunteered with an elite combat unit and fought in the Pacific and then went to Europe. His force was nicknamed the Devil's Brigade. The Devil's Brigade was known for its blackened face night raids.

So there are racist guys. But wait, is that... Yeah, they would paint their faces black so you couldn't see them. Not because they're doing blackface in World War II. too. Yeah, no. I'm sure a lot of them were like, this is awesome. You know what I mean? But it was like, they were like, this is helpful. And then a couple of guys were like, trust me, I know how to do this really

well. I can do my own. I do this when I drive sometimes. Like, I'm going into an appointment and I want to put eyeliner on. He earned several medals and then he went to work in the Pentagon. So he worked on the Greek Civil War, which was a main Cold War

battleground, and he becomes very anti-communist. He's going to fit right into the Pentagon. That's all we're worried about. And then he went to Korea, which ends in a stalemate, and Ed believed the U.S. was stabbed in the back by the Kami UN. Is he currently serving still?

It seems like it's very applicable to today's version. He thought they were working with traders in the State Department. Jesus Christ, this is real accurate. And then he was angry that Truman... Whoa, whoa, what? He was angry... It was angry that Truman relieved General MacArthur of command for trying to continue the war.

After, Ed still let his man, but he couldn't... When they couldn't see, he, quote, wept over their predicament. Oh, wow. He believed Truman was duped by a fifth column in the government. A fifth column? Yeah. I didn't even know there were four columns. Yeah.

Well, there's a fifth. I don't believe in the fourth. Well, maybe the fourth isn't there, but there's a fifth. What's holding it all up? It eight to third. Are we writing like vaudeville right now? If it's not the third, then it's got to be the foist. Because the second's always safe.

The second's always safe. Foist is the problem we found. Closing after one night! You gotta be kidding me! I put everything into this. It's you. You wanted to add the fifth column. Don't get mad at me. How many works in fours?

But if there's no four, then the fifth is the four. Wait a minute. This is good. Jop this down. He believed Truman was dup. by a fifth column in the government, Truman, quote, pulled the greatest clown trick ever. Wow.

After Korea, he went to Taiwan. Again, he thought Taiwan leader Shanghai Shek was betrayed by a president. So he's a murderous twat, by the way. So he thinks that the Taiwan leader was betrayed by a president. So Ed is just disgusted with what's going on. And his next command is in Arkansas in July 1957. I'll bet he was a lot happening. there. Yep. He's now

a general. In 1954, the Supreme Court ruled racial segregation in public schools was unconstitutional. We're going to take... That'll be gone soon. Funny how we celebrated all those things for a while.

Silly. So nine black students were admitted to Central High and Little Rock, and two days before, the governor ordered the National Guard to take over the school to prevent the Little Rock Nine from entering. So I don't, look, I don't know where you would have picked to start this, but fucking

Little Rock Arkansas was like, let's jump into the deep end. That was like crazy. And I would, being first nine picked, you'd be like, can other people go first? I'd really rather, I'll wait a year, see how that goes. Yeah. On September 20th, a judge ordered the guard removed, and as the nine went to school, 1,000 people broke through police lines. They assaulted journalists.

Oh, they assaulted a black journalist. Weird. And the nine were taken out... The nine were taken out a side door, and the mayor asked for troops to be brought in. So Eisenhower federalized 10,000 Arkansas National Guard under the command of General Edwin Walker. Wow, it's fucking intense.

It's crazy. The governor called it an occupied force. And when something real bad happens here, people's heads are going to pop. Because we're under attack from ourselves. Ed was told to use the least amount of force possible. I bet he did. So he had 300 soldiers with bayonets, rifles, and gas masks surround the school. The nine entered the school, and then he slowly reduces the number of troops over a while.

Well, Ed was, of course, attacked by the right. They said his troops attacked bystanders and held bayonets in people's throats, like Hitler's stormtroopers, which didn't happen. Right. Hitler never did that. No. Yeah, I meant Hitler didn't do. Oh, I thought you were doing. Okay.

I was like, I got your back, buddy, but that one seems dicey. Very dangerous. And the Daz-Moring News warned not to try it in Texas. they decided tell us one who said to throw the you don't try that here we're not actually doing that well now we want it

you don't want to try it here we want and we want the biggest version of it cheap too we'll show you who's boss that's right we'll bring it here on our own idiot hey what's the thing they have

I didn't catch it Ed slowly removed all troops until they were gone by May wealth. So yeah. And the mother's league of Central High called that Liberation Day.

The governor blames the foreign press for all the trouble and communists for creating race issues. It's too easy. And he was kind to Ed because in private, Ed espoused racist beliefs.

Right. Shocking. and the Soviets and commie sympathizers, he said, came up with school integration. This guy's politics age grade. So after Little Rock, Ed says he regrets his role, and he's against segregation. And on August 4th, 1959, he tries to resign. Okay. And he says he cannot be effective as the fifth column was appeasing the Kremlin. Wait a minute.

I thought there wasn't a fifth column. You know, he believes there's a fifth column. Oh, he believes there is a fifth column. Yes. Okay, sorry. There's a fifth column controlling the government. Okay, right. I forgot we have a fifth column.

The vaudeville thing really threw up my ability to. Yeah. It's so locked in there. But his superior is like, no, you can't resign. Is that all? I don't know. I don't know. I guess it is. I feel like you're allowed to do that.

I don't know if you are in it. You're still here. I think you can in the Army. I think if you try to resign the Army, though. like, no. We don't pull out ever, so, no, you stay in. His superior said he was needed to help fight communism. And he was like, you're right.

Yeah. I mean, the fifth column is really exactly it. So he was made commander of the 24th Infantry at Uxburgh, Germany, 12,000 soldiers. And he quickly said about making his troops aware of the communist three. threat. Okay. At one point he said on a Christmas card that said, quote, we are standing on the brink of a pit of hell. Happy holidays to you and yours.

Hope you get everything you want this Christmas. And if that stocking's red, you know what I'm thinking, you son of a bitch. White stockings only. Think about what Santa wears. Oh, my God. Fucking... Yeah, but he's got that list that I like. Lisp?

List! Oh, sorry. A naughty nice. That I like. If you're on my side, yeah. You get a gift. And if you're a fifth column, kid, cold time.

He created a special... That Rudolph... Okay, go ahead. It's just that nose Rudolph fans. I don't love it. You get one in there, and he's saying, no, I don't want to lead. We should all have the same...

Fuck that. Leader's lead, Rudolph. He's just hammered. Leader's lead. Show that communist piece of shit, reindeer. We need to compromise Donner. He created a special project's office and started a lecture series called Pro Blue

to warn about the fifth column plot. All right. Okay. I'm sick of hearing. What does the fifth column mean exactly? He means that there is a secret, like, branch or something like that? It's a secret group within the government that is working with the commies to overthrow America and turn communist. So we've had, we know exactly what this is because we've heard about, like, 13 versions of it that are always talked about.

But this is the fifth column. It's John Birch stuff. Right. Yeah, right. Yeah. The stuff you and I read and talk about. Right. Yeah, it's the stuff that's the secret underlying messages.

This podcast is John Bircherism. Yeah. Hey, look, we've always been a Birch church. So. So Ed started filling the bookshelves with far right books like the life of John Birch. So Ed had become a bircher in Arkansas. A bircher. And everything they do is anti-comy.

They see commie conspiracy. everywhere. Communism did the civil rights movement. Communism ended school prayer. Communism made people divorced. Communism sold born and drugs. Careful Dave, everyone's going to be a communist. The Birchers' belief is that the Soviet Union is a threat to the world, but the bigger threat is commies embedded in the U.S. government helped by pastors of every denomination. Always.

Helped by pastors. Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Secret churches. Yeah. All right, now that we're done with the Sunday sermon, let's do the Sunday after dark. And also the press, of course.

Right. They put fluoride, they think... Put fluoride in the water? Yes. Maker kid's stupid and now they all get measles. That's what you're going to say, right? Yeah, that they, yeah. Don't drink that holy water.

They put fluoride. They've got fluoride in the holy water. In the water to make... Don't eat the cracker that the priest is giving you. Got ribal flavin. There's no such thing as a gluten allergy. Kids should feed every baby peanuts. Every baby should eat peanuts.

They put fluoride... In the water. In the water. To hurt people's ability... Oh my God, I can't believe it's really that. Holy five. Jesus, Dave, I'll keep doing it if you keep prompting it. But no, you're like, actually, the same chivers to him.

right now? It would hurt people's ability to think, so they'd be softened up for communism. So you get people stupid enough to become communist. Oh, fuck, man. If that was the case, fluoride the shit. So Ed held... I think we live in a capitalist prison.

That's not from the tap, is it? I think they just do this so that they can keep taking advantage of us and they turn us against each other. There's the... John! Put your fingers to... Quick. Lennon in.

Lennon? No! Bit the water out and rub a cat on your belly. Water in my mouth. I am a human, brittah. I filter... I filter... I filter all...

I filter all water. I filter. I'm a Kennedy. Don't you want to be as healthy as I sound? A big red... So Ed held a essay contest on the base called How to Stop Communist

infiltration of the government. How great would it be to just sneak in there and just be a communist? We're in here too. He'd be like, back the fuck. Ed approved a skit that was put on making fun of Eisenhower for negotiating with the Soviet Union? That must have been so funny. Oh, God, so funny. I mean, you're really checking a lot of the boxes we all want.

An anti-communist message from the right and a guy from the military writing. That's right. This is very funny. But how do I end the sketch? He handed out a voting guide to the troops, and on that JFK was listed as soft on communism. Now, everything I've just said is completely against Army regulations. Yeah, but again, the fifth column.

It's very dicey, but Davey has to do this because of the top. Right, that's right. Which only he can see. Who do you think? made it against Army regulations to say this. The fifth column did. You've put in that stuff out there. So you've got to put on your special glasses,

which you can get if you send in enough UPS symbols or whatever it's called. And then you can get your fifth column glasses. That's right. That's easy to see it. That's right. Okay. In April, 1961, the newspaper Overseas Weekly published a story on Ed's propaganda. It feels like a paper that your, like, Uncle,

would send you and be like, you see? Trees start fires on their own. All right, I'm out of here. So Ed... So this is the story we're focusing on. Right. This seems strange to... Okay.

So Ed believed the Soviet space program was fake. And images... By the way, that's real... All of it? Yeah. Okay. And images of the moon were, quote, very likely pictures

of our own popular mechanics, out of our own popular mechanics. What's gonna say? Look, that's Gus from down the way. The guy who did my break pass. He's the moon. By the way, popular mechanics is such a funny, like, that really should just be, like, playboy

for, like, mechanics. Yes. Look at Dale, bend over. He's all oily. I think he scratched his butt without washing his hand. My name's Andy. My name's Andy.

I'm 61. I smoke too much. My wife just left me. Secretly, I go home and have ferrets. Look at that, ladies. He doesn't know that bottom button's unbuttoned, and you can see that tummy rolling over that belt buckle. Popular mechanics.

Turn-ons? Tuna sandwiches. Popular mechanics. So when the story broke, many thought he was. a dipshit. I gotta be honest, I'm titillated at the idea that this is 1961 and he's already doing this sort of stuff.

Like, there's a beautiful current coming his way. He, Ed was relieved of command and demoted to a staff job. It's so funny because he wanted to retire. They were like, he did. And now they're like, all right, yeah, you actually do suck. Go to the office. Yeah. After an investigation, he was given the lightest rebuke possible,

which was a verbal admonishing. That's so dumb. Yeah. Because all the other guys up top also believe the same anti-communist. That's like workplace shit. Like, yeah, you're a verbal admonishment. Yeah, well, that's, your boss was like, hey, don't do that. That's work.

Yeah. It's like, we'll punish him. We'll give him a verbal admonishment. Yeah, you'll talk to him? Yeah. He'll learn. So a very well-read DC columnist went after Ed and just savaged him,

calling his ideas crackpot and attack on democracy. And then right-wing media said he had been silenced for his political views. And people called... And Jesse Waters, the sperm started to swim. He was just in his dad's testicle at that point.

People called congressional offices to support him. An organization was created called Friends of Walker. The Texas Senate passed a resolution asking the DOD to return his command. Three different congressional hearings were set. Ah, fuck. I guess misery loves company, so it's nice to know it's always been so stupid, but you're also like, fuck, we're never going to get away from it. Ed was ordered to do troop training in Hawaii.

Oh. You'll learn, boy. I'm punishing you. To Kauai. So he resigned. Fucking disqualifying, period. Getting sent to Hawaii and you're like, I won't stand for this bullshit.

He went to Arkansas. And Hawaii, he's like, I'm out. He then used a printing company, run by Robert Soray to pitch his defense. A Surrey was a Nazi and a friend of Nazi leader George Lincoln Rockwell. Oh, fuck me. In two pamphlets, Ed claimed the DoD was purging leaders because it was run by commies. And then he planned on going on a speaking tour.

How much of this, do you think he fully believes this to the bone? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Because there's some now who just say this shit just to do that. No, he believes it. Friends told him he should just lay low after all the hearings. Yeah.

But he still went on the tour. And a lot of people came out. People now want him to run for governor of Texas. Fuck, guys, come on. No, it's not your fault, but please. Yeah, what the fuck you guys doing? You didn't do anything, but come on. It could still happen.

You know what I mean? Please. Just be like our great governor in California and start a right-wing pot, or... No, that's not right. James Meredith, who was a black air force vet trying to get admitted to the University of Mississippi, Old Miss, as it's called.

His case is going through the courts. What did you just do with Old Miss? Old Miss? University of Mississippi is called Old Miss. Yeah. You don't like that. It is the only place I've ever been, had someone yell at me that I was a Yankee.

I was drunk. I couldn't read your hat. Is that there, Jeter? I was like, I'm from California. They're like, whatever, Yankee. Yeah, like that helps. I'm from California. Then you're just surrounded.

I mean, I'm a Yankee. From California, did. James Merritt of the case is going through the courts, and Ed makes Jackson, Mississippi, his third tour stop. We'll go to Hawaii. No. And he's greeted at the airport like a savior. The racist Beatles are here. He speaks to about 3,500.

He mostly speaks about reconstruction and tyranny, and the state having a high percentage of men and women who know how to use guns. of that shit. I'm just going to buy a grenade. All right? I'll be fine. I'm going to have a fucking bag full of grenades. All right, assholes. A bagful? Yeah. They're going to be small that time shooting at targets. Fucking bro, I'll just have grenades.

Yeah, I can throw them. Let's see. Let's see your form. Grenade toss? Yeah. All right. Pin out. Fucking put up that thing. Huh? Three, two. Oh! Wait, you did... That's you pulling the pin? No, that's right. The little clippy thing on the side. I fucking...

I gotta watch some videos on how that exactly works The pin's big I know the pin's a big player I remember I've seen Leon many times The pin is a huge play Hey look at me No no Oh come on

Yeah okay Wait until the shit's hitting the fan He'll swallow the grenade like a looney tune And then run at you That's the best move ever What's he doing? Oh my God, he's self-cernated. Bear hug.

Your last words are, you're dad. So Walker's closest political allies, like Strom Thurman, people like Thurman are telling him not to run for office because he will probably lose. I mean, if... Thurman's like, buddy, you're a little out of line. On February 3rd, he announced he was running for governor as a Democrat. What the fuck?

What's he doing here? That's before it really flipped. Well, before the Switcheroo. When did the Switcheroo had? With the Civil Rights Act. Oh, okay. Wow. Interesting.

There were six candidates, and Ed talked about defending the U.S. from international communism, quote, there are no more important posts than governorships in the Cold War. Also, what? That's not even remotely a thing. Yeah, imagine. He was just trying to be governor. on his dumb little campaign strategy. But governors were not that important in that.

You know what I mean? No. What are they going to do that? All right. Well, he's not in Texas. Okay. Okay. Now what?

So his speech is... There's a six column. Yeah. There's two more columns. No! They're building a huge arch. So now... that he's doing these speeches, some start

to think him as a future president. Papers are calling him arrogant and shouty. Shouty? Shouty. Is it a word? It is now. Is it hyphenated? No. Okay.

Quote, a surly uncontrolled bully. Fuck is your problem. Nothing, dad. Yeah. Nothing, dad. I'm sorry. Don't fucking look at me. Look out there. I said, I'm sorry to my dad. He's the best. He'll be the president. and it makes sense.

It's not funny, sir. You sicken me. I wanted to have a man, and this is what I got. I'm trying very hard. I'll work on my grenade stuff. At least I learned it's not Gernard. So he told Texas voters to not buy U.N. bonds. I don't buy U.N. bonds.

Were people doing that? No, you couldn't do that. Okay. It's not a thing. Not going to be a problem, sir. We can't. He got donations from all over the country, and he warned of the possibility of Chinese troops massing on the southern border.

Oh, for five, it's literally, what the fuck? Honeyboy. What is going on? It's just like three words change. Chinese this time, it'll be. How do they get there? Tannels through Mexico. They come in boats.

In boats. Chinese boats. And then they get off. and they walk across the... That's plenty. We don't need any more. It's a little wordy, to be honest. If elected, Walker said he'd prevent the Texas National Guard

from being federalized and integrated. So that's important. It's huge. I mean, they do important work all the time. He was very concerned about textbooks that were questioning Christianity and the military. Don't mess with text. He often started his rallies by singing Onward Christian Soldier

Oh, fucking, yes That's awesome You're just there like It's going to be a long night Onward, like it was when It was the name of John Ashcroft when he would sing Oh yeah He's like, I think he, did he write his own song?

I think he did, yeah He was just like, the eagle fly And it was like, what the fuck is happening? And now we look back and we're like, that was normal. He was just up there. Eagle soaring. A reporter asked him if women should be allowed to buy stocks without their husband's permission. No.

No. Matter of fact, it's a sign of lesbianism. If a woman should be able to be. be allowed to buy stocks without her husband's permission and he said he wasn't married so he's not familiar with the issue. What the fuck would I know? I don't have a wife. Women are talking in these marriages?

He's not married. He's not married, no. He's married to his work. That's interesting too. You know how these guys play it. Uh-oh. Gays are the worst. We can't have gains. I'm in love of the man named Tom.

He was very worried about race mixing. Even that fucking... It's not a cocktail. That would be a good cocktail, though. That really would be. Race mixing. Can I get a race mix? Absolutely.

I really love your drink. Let me pour it over some ice. Actually, I'll put it in a non-ice. There we go. Uh, now... We abolished it at this part. Now, mainstream conservatives start to bail. He's too much for them.

Hilarious. Now, he testifies in his Senate hearing, and it's the first time that General Public saw Ed Walker really. I'm in the Army. My name is General. General Public. He read... He read an opening statement that was 31 pages. And for a little break, I will now sing onward question. But he can barely express himself.

He's a terrible speaker. 31 pages. And then if you were going to page two, that is all about how the cat goes on the stomach to stop the measles. He fumbled for words. He couldn't answer questions. He seemed to overwhelm. You have a 31-page speech is crazy.

Yes. It's hard for me to figure out what I was trying to say here. I did this in the mirror earlier, and it was... Made a lot of... It was... Go ahead and just read the... Just go ahead and read it off the page. Okay.

General? All right, absolutely. From the beginning or something? Yeah, no. Yeah? Or no, just... No, for that where you were, yeah. Yeah, okay.

So, um... We are looking in a direction... I don't even know what... I think they printed the wrong one, maybe. I'll just go with this, though. Yeah. Unless we want to... No, go ahead.

Okay. All right. Page three. We are... I thought we were on page two, John? Oh, I'll start at the top. Okay. Onward Christian soldier.

It's great that you don't know. I know it. You do? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I think everybody wants to hear. For those who are not familiar, let's hear onward Christian soldier.

All right. Post together. She's a fan. Let's talk. Intachians. So his hands shook and he nervously smoked cigarettes. He just lights the pages on fire. Oh, fucking smoke at the shit.

Let me read the sick. All right. Camel wide light. Or wait, no, sorry. Oh, God. I'm here to talk about what's happening with the government. Shit. Hour five.

He explained the calming network that ousted him, quote, The real control apparatus will not tolerate a militant anti-communist leadership. He said the Kremlin put him at Osberg to make him an easy target, and it was entrapment. and people in the Pentagon were, quote, subservient to the power, influence, and propaganda of the national mass media and the State Department is a nest of traitors. Just say the fifth column. You've got the fifth column. Right there, paragraph, down, fifth column. Commies have access to our schools.

A senator asked, quote, you mean there is a direct connection between the State Department and high schools? Yeah, uh, move. Yeah. Why? No? I don't know. Am I the governor? Did we ever find out if I... I didn't win, did I?

No, yeah. Yeah. Yep, there is that. Uh, yeah, there was a hidden campaign of fourth dimensional warfare against the U.S., quote, every... Buddy, buddy. He should have... This is why he needs a wife.

He could have received you at least someone to just be like, fourth dimensional sounds strange. They're doing it from blood. black holes in space. And this is the dimension communists are operating in. Different dimension. The communists are in a different dimension.

Yeah. Think about it. I fucking wish we had a dimension of Congress. Oh, take me there. So after two whole days of testimony, he seemed pretty pathetic. Why is he there again? It's a hearing because the, uh,

right wing got upset that he gotten fired from the German Post so the hearing is... So they were watching this like fuck. We did... He just comes out sweaty, burn... Like, he just burned cigarettes all over his body. The pages are covered in water.

I think that went pretty good. Why did I keep saying onward Christian soldiers? Well, Porter's called his accusations a figment of his imagination. The Washington Post quote, he seems to be living in a nightmare world of demons and hobgoblins. That's so fucking good.

See, that's what was, I mean, that is just so good to just, like, that just cuts him down so well. Yeah. Just be like, look, you're a little Harry Potter, baby. Get the fuck out of here. Harry Potter's a communist. After a reporter asked him about Nazi George Lincoln Rockwell, Ed decked him with a right hook. Then some of Ed's lady admires spat in the reporter's face.

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Sleep. You know, it's cold weather, particularly on the East Coast right now. It's cold weather. It's just there. It's freezing. People are having to deal with, you know, sleeping indoors under the bed, in the bed, on top of the bed. And you say under the bed?

What's going on the bed? I said in the bed, on the bed. You also said under the bed. Well, some people sleep under bed. That's where the monsters sleep, dude. So you want to be comfortable. And what's better for being comfortable than a Helix mattress? Literally nothing.

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off statewide, exclusive for listeners of the dollop. That's healingsleep.com slash dollop for 27% off statewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com slash dollop. Tell them Dave sent you. Why are you saying that? I'll sleep with you. What?

I'm going to sleep with anybody who buys a mattress. Dave. Is that too much of an offer? It's absolutely too much of an offer. I'm not talking about making love I'm talking about just sleeping with them. Still not a thing you're going to be able to fulfill. But I'll make love if you want.

Dave. This is not, this is not proved by Helix, what I'm saying. Ed became the most prominent. Do you know I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts, right? I don't even need to hear anymore, but I... Cubs Cuts. Completely on their side.

I punch the dead mother's son. Which you do. don't get a badge for. I was going to say, yeah. Which you should. You got a demerit badge. So Ed became their most prominent voice to those who saw the commie threat. Those who see the commie threat are just, I mean, it's a great veil for racists.

Yes. And now it's just for people, I mean, it's just people who think they're losing the country. it's also a great little pulpit for, you know, but he believes it, but it's just a good little pulpit to make money off of that. Yeah, it's fucking nonsense. So, he said decisions to drop nukes should be made by generals, not the president.

I'll tell you what, in retrospect. Walk me through this pitch again. So the commies are coming in. Chinese are the border. So the appeasers quote Magnified Radiation Hazards and the Fear of Nuclear Weapons So these fucking little I mean we're all going to die from radiation

Come on It'll be fine Is that what he's saying? Yes He'll be fine Yes Ed was the model For the general in the movie

Dr. Strangelove Oh nice I thought you were going to say he was the model for tight white underpants. And tight white underpants. That's perfect. Just tight enough that I can't feel it and use it. In Dr. Strangelove, the general accuses the president of treason for signing an arms agreement with Moscow. JFK saw the danger of radical righties in the highest military levels, but told the historian, quote,

it won't happen on my watch. So the FBI... So the FBI starts keeping a track of Edwin Walker. Okay. Ed came in last in the Texas primary. The Democrats of today would dominate him. That's our boy. And he was very bitter about that.

Ed? Yeah. From the book, The Insurrectionist, quote, His speech and demeanor became increasingly awed as he, spent his days writing open letters to the president and granting interviews. Like a genie? What is he? Yeah, we don't want to talk to you.

Come on. No. And just writing letters to the president. Who's the president now? JFK, yeah. JFK is the president. Just fucking tiger beating JFK. Just like, dear JFK.

Okay, look, I know we've had our differences. says. I'll admit you're cute, but you're really a danger. I'd love to grant you an interview whenever you're ready. La, no. Sexually yours. Sexily yours. Edwin, my last name escapes me. It's Walker.

Wow, fuck, Walker. Some said his house now looked run down and seedy. There was a hole in the dining room ceiling. You want that? Yeah. Yeah. And Walker had converted the hallway into a makeshift command center. Oh, my God.

Where else would you do it but a hallway? What's the best room for a command center in the house? A hallway. Where's your bathroom? Walk past the dining room hall, go through the command center on your left. You can't visit it. You can't miss it. A command center.

How old is he? What is he? 60? He's not that old, no. Okay, so he's like 40? Yeah. He's got a fucking fake little command center in his house? This is where I go in the morning to talk to the submarines.

On September 10th, 1962, the Supreme Court ruled that James Howard Meredith, the black guy, be allowed to attend Old Miss. Well, hang on. Celebrate the wins. A Mississippi Senator called it, quote, a judicial tyranny as black and hideous as any in the history of the United States. You know that language was workshop. Yes, it was. There was like a room of like racist, like it was just like seven Stephen Miller's just like drooling and frothing over a typewriter.

Like, oh man, yeah, yeah. It's not horrible enough. So governor, Mississippi. Governor Barnett refused to accept his resignation and had a small army of 220 highway patrolmen and 250 fish and game wardens. That's fucking hilarious. They were like, sir, I don't know if you. Are you worried about... You!

Can I measure your fish? Now, hold on, hold on. Have you guys been fishing illegally in somewhere where you don't have... No, all right, go ahead. I don't know what we can actually... You see your fish fishing license? We don't have any fish. We don't have a fishing license.

May I see your bear hunting license? I'm not hunting bears. May I see your... No. How big is your horse? You can't do anything. You're just like a mall cop, but for ponds. Fuck out of my way, dipshit.

Go get your little... Freeze! Don't they freeze? Go stay that to a lake in December, dipshit. Get out of my way. Did you pay for this campsite, sir? Who gives a fuck? Get out of here. What are you going to do?

Throw a fucking log at you. It was like $2. leave. Get you with your fucking dumb little badge. You get the same one at a drugstore. This, this, this, this, this, this, this creek. It just the right away. Yeah, whatever, you're fucking like a little land Poseidon.

Leave, bitch. Move. Um, hold on a second. Get on a golf cart. There's dudes who work at the airport to have more authority than you, you loser. I got on the radio to get people fired up. Oh, I can only imagine. imagine. He called an army of 10,000 to converge in Jackson and praised those who were ready to die.

Quote, I came here to meet the communists on their battlefield or right here in Mississippi. We are at war. Man, your weapons, and attack. This is so January 6th. Then what? I don't know. You keep going straight. You hit a wall, Rumba. Keep going, just go around things till you, just figure it out. The FBI said

the most violent right-wing groups took note. Mob stopped Meredith from getting on to campus. And the Court of Appeals said Burnett had to register him or face a $10,000 fine a day and jail.

JFK federalized the National Guard. And then Ed arrived on September 29th. These are kids from a school who believe by command center is real. Look at this guy. He made a statement to NBC, comparing the use of federal troops in Jackson

to the crucifixion of Christ. A press conference, Ed said people were coming from all over, and he made the reporter stand in front of him to not take side photos. The fucking best. He doesn't want to be...

No profile picture. I'm a little heavy right here. The Army ordered Ed to be captured. Hey Ed, how's it going? Wait, what? Merritt was snuck on the campus the next evening, and word got out. A thousand people massed. They're throwing bricks and bottles and maltough cocktails.

And Marshalls start using riot batons. It's going to be easy to focus on school when all this is obviously. Cool. Can you say it one more time? Ed is eating dinner and then at a restaurant and then he calmly walks over and around this time a New York

journalist is found dead, shot in the back and the mob gathered at a Confederate monument. Of course they did. Of course they did. I'll meet you a general lead. It's like when you take kids to the mall. if we lose track. And then Ed went over there and became their leader.

And he was wearing the dark suit, and it was a little white hat. And he told them to fight the marshals and to make them, quote, drop their badges and dessert. They were having dessert? Yeah. Boys, drop your badges and get them cheesecakes.

They're going to make like a banana split, And, wait, I fucked that one up. Hold on, I got a written down here somewhere. Oh, there's so much urine on these peaches. Most of these are just piss. What? No, we're waiting for an order, sir. Oh, I'll have a...

No, to tell us what to do. Oh, oh, oh. Well, we should get dinner at some point. You just had dinner. Well, I have two dinners normally. I'm trying to get this suit to fit a little bit better, so I've been eating two dinners. I've been skipping breakfast, and I do two dinners.

I'm actually made a pizza hut in my den. So it's just past the command center. Have you considered... Here I've got the Frogatorium. That's where the frogs live. It's also where I go, boom, boom. Go ahead. Have you considered a different suit?

I'd rather just eat my... way out of this one. Okay, orders. Okay, what does everyone else want? Is that what we're doing? Oh, wait. Yeah. All right. We need to fucking go hard at all this time. This time we're meaning business. Uh, that pissed all over this last night. Yeah. Yeah, I just pissed all over. I thought it would, I thought it was bad. And then I woke up today and I went, ah, not that bad. Apparently shouldn't piss all over it. I feel good? Or we feel? Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Let's get out. there let's put our hands in no okay are you guys mad at me because we're not happy yeah because the vibe is real bad right now we expected more honestly yeah

I well okay what the fuck are you saying well we play all four quarters in this one and there's actually a fifth quarter no don't touch me not everybody knows about the fifth quarter everyone take a piece of this piss page here's what we're gonna do we're gonna rip this piss paper up into 18 pieces and we're going to turn them into necklaces. And when we all get together, we'll put it together in one page again and know we're the best of friends. That went pretty good. I'm talking that part. I should be thinking of it. Hello. So all the highway patrolmen stood down or helped the riders, which that allows carloads of men to enter from elsewhere.

And the fishing and gaming unit was like, if anyone wants to go just take salmon. Yes. The St. Louis dispatch, quote, when word of Walker's identity spread, people moved toward him as if attracted by a magnet. It was as if he played some magic music on a flute, so eager were these people to see him.

Are they, they're saying he's like a racist biper? Yes. Yes. He commanded men, and he's now coordinating the riot. He asked the sheriff to deputize him, and the sheriff was like, no. All right. Will you baptize me? You can do it right here.

I pissed in my hat. The mob was 800 men, and Ed yelled, quote, Don't let up now, you will win in the end. Such abandon. And he pushed students who were injured to continue fighting. He pushed students who are injured? To keep fighting. For him.

Yeah, to keep fighting the battle. It's old battle. Absolutely it is. The monument was described as the command post. Quote, you must be prepared for possible. death. And if you're not willing to pay the price, go home. It would just be great to like all these people who are like, fuck yeah, just for one person to be like, guys,

this is his pretend control tower in his hallway. What? Is that real? Well, kind of, no, it's practical. I practice on it. That's how I got so good. Trust me. It's like how a DJ just, you know, takes two pillows and pretends to dip it up, bap, bach him. That's what I. do in my hallway. But it's in a hallway? It's in a hallway right near my bathroom. Before my

bedroom. In the morning, I make coffee and I sit at it. Not for too long. Just like eight or nine hours. I pull a full shift. And when I have to go to the bathroom, I put two cats on the chair. And then they watch it. Doing good. Ed told riders to break into the power plant to shut off the lights. All right. Here's what I get to. Lights out, boys. He had... Jumping through those smokestacks, boys. Hold your breath, too. That...

He had the mob advance at the marshals, and tear gas drove them back. Cars were set on fire. The terrorism! The National Guard arrived at 11.30 p.m. And they were met with Bricks, Maltov cocktails, and gunfire. The Bricks guys were like, oh, we've really upgraded since this morning.

I didn't realize we were doing guns of fire. The mob took over. cars and vehicles like a fire truck and a bulldozer and they attacked with them. More teacast, more tear gas repelled them. Klansmen from all over began arriving. Ah, here we go. There we go. Talk about cosplayers.

Yeah. Hey, I heard you have a pretty cool control center in your house. Me and Duke would love to come over and kind of play with the knobs at some point if that's cool. Is there a Cyclops seat? We'll bring a bunch of, uh, Diet Dr. P and goldfish and stuff. Could make a day out of it. I got a pretty good fake helicopter in my garage.

Only thing I can't get is a thing that makes it fly. Well, you don't need that part at all. A man was killed. He was just watching everything. It was shot. Well, I mean, I'm not saying that guy deserved it, but scoot. Yeah. What are you doing?

Yeah. This is good. The riders are up by seven. I did not see this coming. Well, now it was getting a little crazier because all these clansmen were arriving. So most students stopped and went inside. Smart.

So it's all pretty much outside agitators at this point. And the governor said the state would never surrender. It's just because a black guy wants to go to school. It's just so fucking insane. The state will never surrender. 3,000 soldiers arrive. At 5 a.m., the campus was under federal control, and Meredith was registered at 8 a.m. And because of that, the governor ordered the state flag flown at Haastaff.

Just so pathetic, you can't even, it's just a level of pathetic you didn't think it was possible. You kind of can't process it, obviously. It's crazy. Like, what? Well, you know what to do. What we do when there is a tragedy. The flag goes half up. Cool.

Uh, yeah. 166 marshals were injured. 29 had been shot. 48 soldiers injured. At the courthouse square, a mob gathered. So this is in the morning now. Sure. And Ed, once again, takes a commanding position and tells...

This is like what he was at his command center jacking off to all those years. Like he's just like, don't they'll listen to me, you know? He's... They'll be ready and I'll say, Oh, we gotta go get them. Let me get my dial rag. It's gonna be so good if that happens. Oh, Jesus, Matt, the cleaner was here.

No, I've been here the whole time. We've done some stuff and then you might want to clean these dials. Someone spilled rubber cement all over them. So Ed takes up a commanding position and tells men to throw bricks and bottles at passing cars. So, that's like literally what the bad... kid says to do. Just like the good son.

Throw bottles at cars. That'll show him to let a black guy into college. An infantry advanced and Ed ran... I never really actually thought about how infant and infantry makes so much sense until now.

It's a little fucking crying children. Ed ran for his car. Quote, crowd cheered him like a baseball hero after the home run that won the game. He drove off but was quickly stopped at a roadblock and arrested. He was charged with seditious conspiracy impeding federal officers and inciting and engaging in an insurrection. Bale was $100,000.

Ed told reporters, quote, they don't have a thing on me. Yeah. Well, they don't have a billion things on me. Ed was taken to a federal medical center in Missouri and held in the psychiatric wing. See, okay. I'm all for going back to the days of when you were like, you know,

the mentus compass part of all of this was a big part. Like, where you go, oh, yeah, maybe someone doesn't go directly to, this guy should go directly to jail. You do all that shit. That is above, like, you know what I mean? That's like Hitler at, like Nuremberg, but then just be like, well, let's do the Rocheck on him

and see what we get away, you know? No, bro, you cross the fucking line. Sorry about that. It's over, you're done. I don't know why you had to drag Hitler into this. A judge ordered him to undergo exams for 60 to 90 days to see if he was fit for trial. So I think that's why they didn't want him getting out.

They wanted to get him on a medical hold. So that when he goes to trial, they put him away versus... Well, no, because he could do... If you just sent him to prison, he could just get out on bail. Right. So they want a medical old. Yeah, so his lawyer told Ed to only give his rank and serial number. By the way, my lawyer's also fucking nuts.

Hello, I'm the lawyer. I met Ed at a command center I have in my house. He's my best friend. Quote the same as any American soldier who has been captured. Ed said he was being lynched by a... examination. The chief psychiatrist for prison said Ed had a deep-seated paranoia. No, uh, you do, unless you know who's coming after me.

Was that something someone asked you to say? His bail was reduced, no, I was wrong, his bail was reduced on August 6th to 50,000, and his mommy got him out. Thank you, Mommy. Did you bring the peanut butter banana sandwich like a thank you, my mom. and some road milk. But part of being released was that he had to do a two-day evaluation. That therapist was like going into the room like...

It's insane. All right, Ed. How was your break? Pretty good. I took one of my nails off again. Just so I knew I had him. Reporters and fans surrounded him at the airport. in Dallas, and as he was hustled the way, they sang, for he's a jolly good fellow.

Only the court can deny. Which only the court can deny. My new fucking favorite thing to do is when things are completely off-kilter, just sing for he's a jolly good fellow. Just the saddest moment of someone's life staring down the barrel of reality, just like,

For he's it, no. Okay, all right, sorry. You're right, we're pretty done here, yeah. Ed was found competent to stand trial, but he never had a trial, because an all-white jury in Oxford did not indict him, and the charges were dismissed. Wow. Well, what do you want? You can think we've had a history of allowing sedition.

People who had known Ed said he changed after Korea and then got even worse after Little Rock. And his belief that anti-Christian forces were trying to do. destroy America grew. He still had a lot of backers, though, when visiting the Mississippi House of Representatives that gave him a standing ovation. He was the hyper-mast... Honestly, we should try... What we should do is we should try to, like, start trade, like, all the, like, you know,

Greenland Canada. Start throwing, be like, we'll throw Mississippi, and if you guys interested in getting... Mississippi's like a lemon. We should be like, take Mississippi, we'll give it to you. Like, try to give it to Europe or something. we, but what do we get? Nothing. We get nothing. It's just like a fucking,

it's just like getting a car that's like killing the grass off our lawn. I was just like, someone's like, yeah, I'll go work on it for a little while. Be like, fucking, go ahead, you know? Someone's like, give you a happy meal. I'll be like, fuck, yes, I'll fucking go. Yeah, please. Take this, take it.

So he's like the hyper-masculent type that the right loves, and he was pushing this tough guy image. Now, evangelist Billy James Hargis approached Ed to pitch that they go on tour together to warn about commies and the UN. So the tour idea would be to push that America's and Christianity's survival were threatened by globalist sex education, socialism, and integration. So they started the tour... This idea of cutting out sex education for so long when right now, the most people, powerful man in our government is someone who mails loads to women to put in themselves.

Like we avoid it for something like being like, we don't want to hear the word vagina in schools. And Elon Musk is like, yeah, send it to her. I met her on Twitter. Oh, if you're wondering why I do it, because I had a botched penis thing surgery. So they started the tour in February, 1963. It was called Operation Midnight Ride after Paul Revere. Who you were just alluding to is fake. Like that story, Paul Revere?

Yeah, there was another person there. No one talks about. Ed was a terrible speaker. The best. But the crowd still grow. Yeah, of course. Up to 6,000. Well, when you watch like CPAC, you're never like, wow.

I know. We're in trouble. You're like, what the fuck was that? It's like a clown shit of douche. In Ohio, a TV reporter got too close and they got into a shoving match. Ed was combative with the press and was upset when they were around. At a luncheon, he shoved a TV news cameraman to the ground. His behavior was getting worse and worse.

Still, crowds yelled Walker for president. The John Birch Society called him the greatest living American. By the way, you can just. drop the living. That's like such a weird qualifier. Yeah. On April 10, 1963, he sat at a desk at home when a bullet shot from a rifle hit the wall three inches above his head. He moved just before the shot.

Ed blamed Fidel Castro. Game over. How quickly did he do you run to that command center after that? Maybe. Mayday, I'm under fire from Cass. Mayday, Mayday. This is what we've trained for in the hallway. Meet me in the basement. All animals meet in the basement for all points bulletin. Hurry, the basement, the basement. All right, it's just me and the moths.

He talked often of the UN's plan to subjugate America. D.C. traders would hand the U.S. military over to godless UN generals. our soldiers would be, quote, de-Americanized and UN-I's. There was a meditation room at the UN, proof that it was anti-Christian. It's like literally take 10 more minutes and you can beat that. Like that is the first pitch.

You can't be like, there's a room where they meditate. No, you can very easily just make it up. Just be like. Well, but that's satanic stuff. If they're meditating and they're not praying to God, then it's Satan worship. I would find it in 10 minutes. I would push it for, you know,

I would just be like, look, they have a room that you can't go into. That's obviously where they hide the demons and the devils, you know, instead of just being like, they have a meditation room. They have mats. So you're pro meditation. I'm not saying that in Texas.

He also said that the UN had torture chambers in the basement. Well, that we noticed. Also, coins collected by kids on Halloween for UNICEF were given to Fidel Castro. Well, that way, fucking next year, walk around the houses in your neighborhoods with your kids with little boxes and say it's for Cuba. This is for Fidel Castro. This is for the Castro family. the American Association for the UN offices in Encino was firebombed Ed now wondered aloud if JFK would survive his first term

Oh fuck me Quote he certainly wouldn't survive his second Wow He asked the FBI to investigate Mad Magazine In the back of it it says if you fold it together It's supposed to make a different image I've never been able to get that image properly He claimed their articles had hidden meanings

and even their ads shit on the military. He then sued the AP for damages for falsely stating he led the old Miss Riot. Quote, I am convinced the AP's report was written in Washington and not by a 20-year-old on the campus grounds. This playbook is so fucking good. He won. Oh. He won $800,000 in damages.

The Texas jury... Oh, my God, the upgrade... He's like, now I have a command garage. You'll regret this, everybody. Look at all the buttons and knobs in here now. The Texas jury concluded... The Texas jury concluded the 21-year-old reporter had lied. Ed said that was proof the entire country believed the news was false and one-sided.

But then the judge... tossed out the punitive damages, which took it down to 500,000, but he's still got 500,000. Jesus Christ. The AP appealed, and the Texas Supreme Court upheld the jury's decision, but the U.S. Supreme Court threw it out. That whole thing took three years, but that whole, but that was obviously part of a calming plot. Well, they're the fifth column. Yeah. So he got nothing. Yeah, he ended up getting nothing. In the summer of 63, Ed and his people decided to make things difficult for JFK during his upcoming visit to Dallas.

Do you guys know something we don't know? Jesus Christ, the day it happened, he must have just been like, we should get the fuck out of here. So before he came, he sent UN ambassador Adley Stevenson to Dallas for UN Nations Day. Adelae. And Adelae found angry. protesters and Ed spoke at the opposing

United States Day rally. Jesus Christ. It's just so fucking dumb. It's the same shit. It's the same shit. Same shit, but it's also very, it's what's enjoyable is it's like, oh, there's other stupid titles. The United States a guy named

a guy named Lee Harvey Oswald was at the rally. That night, Stevenson spoke and Ed's supporters heckled him. And then fistfights broke out in the audience. After, a woman hit Stevenson in the head with a picket side and people spat on him. And he asked, quote, are these human beings or animals?

Ed, quote. Animals. Wait. Ed, quote, Adelaide got what's coming to him. Only a little man would turn a national protest in. into a personal affront. Dude, it's the projection that drive. I don't, do your shit, whatever.

It's all over anyway. It's the projection. You did that. You know, the Democrats did January 6th. You're just like, shoot me. So the city council and mayor apologized for the behavior of the righties. Due to the apologies, Ed hung the American flag outside of his house upside down. for days. Now,

ILA Stevenson went back to D.C. and told JFK going to Dallas was very risky due to all the extremists. Quote, quote, there was something very ugly and frightening about the atmosphere. That turned out not to be true, obviously. Yeah. People are

so paranoid. The Kennedys came for a five-day Texas trip. President doesn't make it. He was shot in the head. Yeah. Sorry, I'm glossing over that part, but that's... He doesn't make it.

I don't think you're really glossing over that part. He gets shot in the head. I remember. Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested and then killed by Jack Ruby while in custody. Oswald's wife had known her husband was the one who tried to shoot Ed. He had planned it for months and said killing Ed was like killing Hitler before he took power. Whoa. What the fuck?

What? the one who shot at Ed in his house. What? Yeah, we need a minute, David. And that's the one he missed. He called, Oswald had called Ed America's leading fascist. So now Ed becomes part of JFK assassination conspiracy theories. And he's very vocal about heading JFK, so a lot of people think he's behind it.

Right. And he holds a press conference to say, he says Fidel Castro had chosen Oswald, and many believe Ed and his right friends had fueled Kennedy hatred, which had led to his death. And a lot of people consider Dallas a city of hate. A lot of people here believe that. Think about it. If you're listening in Dallas, have a look at yourself. Ed said that's exactly what Castro wanted. The FBI connected Ed to a right-wing militant extremist group called the Minutemen.

He was in contact with their leaders in several states, and clan factions wanted Ed to lead a revolution. In 1965, at a We the White People rally... Oh, my God. A WT, WP. We the white people. Yeah. Ed was offered the position of Grand Dragon of Texas.

I accept. He passed on the offer because he said he was trying to repair his reputation. Look, I got a new PR guy, and he says... He's moving me in a little more of a less Grand Dragon sort of thing. I love what you guys do, and if you ever need me to do a fundraiser or something. In July 1966, he was the keynote speaker for the Americans for the preservation of the white race in Mississippi. Jesus Christ We're not fucking

Polar Bears We need to This fucking We're good Okay We don't It's not a worry anymore All right

Panthers We got to worry about that Okay It's not fucking White people And it would be great If it was To just have like

A few in a zoo Just like four in a zoo Like No I hope that Brad fucks Shelly today We really need more Yeah It just keeps watching

Boolu though Wait, he's doing something? Oh, God, I think he's just using DoorDash. What is he doing? He's ordering more Taco Bell. Why did we give him that prop phone? He was now saying things like... They're flashing the light, so I've been trying...

Yeah. He was now saying things like, quote, Hitler didn't declare war on us. We declared war on him. We just Plymouth Rocked Hitler. For some reason, his popularity started to massively go down in his late 60s. Then, in June,

23rd, 1976, Ed hit on an undercover vice cop and a Dallas Park bathroom. Where they're fucking knew it. Always.

I just have a wide stance. Yeah. Always. Yeah, they fucking are raised in this strict religious family and they're gay and so they hate themselves so they destroy the world. Yes, yes. And we have

suffer the consequence. Yes. Just if he could just, he's just sitting there, like, controlling all these knobs in his hallway while he's just got, like, one kind of phallic, like, shaft where he's just like, all right, Commander, and we're just bringing that in right now to help you out there a little bit,

and we'll sort of... Don't worry about that. We're modulating as much as we can. We see where you are. You're in a good position right now. You're in a great position. Hopefully you guys will be able to figure it out. We don't want to...

You guys too far down. We don't want to... We don't want to sit too far down without any control. We just went, we shouldn't, we can't, we shouldn't, we're on the middle. So, the undercover vice cop said that Ed had, quote, fondled his genitals. You got to love how far the vice cop lets it go. Go ahead, unbutton that. You know, it's like, if you're undercover, you're just like,

I don't even understand what that means. mean something like that. What do you mean? All right, you're under arrest. Oh, shit, I shouldn't have fun. Oh. He said that since... I was kicking in for commies.

He said that since the Supreme Court let the AP say whatever they wanted, he, quote, can be libeled at will. Eight months later, he was arrested in a park bathroom for trying to get sex from an undercover cop. An AP? Oh, wow. Just two months before, Four-X students said Billy James Hargis had sex with them at his American Christian College in Tulsa.

Hargis always portrayed himself as very masculine. Okay. Look at him. I know, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, for sure. He looks like he, like, manages a pie eating guy. Ed tried to make a living doing speeches.

Reporter Harry Ashmore said he, was like a, quote, wandering segregationist minstrel now. Since he resigned from the army, he couldn't get a pension and was broke, and no one gave him any donations now. He was bitter and forgotten. The Dallas Times Herald said his house, the Dallas Times Herald said his house was now known for its front yard billboard facing the street. You imagine trying to sell that house.

It's a two bedroom, two bath, one control room. A billboard up front. In 1978, he moved out of the 14-room home he had rented since 1961. In 1983, the Army restored his pension. $45,000 a year. The Army said he was, quote, a truly dedicated American soldier who firmly believed that insufficient action was being taken within the military establishment to combat the threat of communism.

I guarantee you that was Pat Buchanan. I guarantee that was Papi Cannon. Ed said, quote, I got everything back. He died at 83 on... He died at 83 on Halloween in 1993. The Dallas Observer wrote, quote, in obscurity.

He had been silent so long, most thought he was already dead. And if Lee Harvey Oswald had gotten involved a little earlier. Yeah. The main source of this is Peter Adams, the insurrectionist, Major General Edwin A. Walker and the birth of the Deep State conspiracy.

Well, fuck me. Congratulations. Listen, we got to get out of here. Thank you guys so much for coming. If you're a VIP, stay in your seats. They're going to take you somewhere else. Austin, thank you guys for coming out. We appreciate it.

Truly. Appreciate it. Thank you very much. Hello there, dollheads. It's Gareth Reynolds. I want you to join the Gereforce and come and see me do stand up on the road. I will be in Spokane, Washington, February 4th. I will be in Bend, Oregon, February 5th, Portland, the 6th, and the 7th. Then I will be in Bakersfield, California, February 27th for two shows. And then, oh, boy, April, here we go.

April 19th, I'll be in Albuquerque, Tulsa on April 21st, Oklahoma City, April 22nd, Dallas, April 23rd. Going to try to see a viral chiropractor that day, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be in Tyler, Texas, April 24th. I didn't even know that. I'll be in Houston, April 25th, for two shows. I'll be in Austin at Cap City on the 26th, and then the 28th I will be rounding it out in San Antonio at LOL. Oh my gosh, and I'll be in Tucson, Arizona. That's rounding it out.

Go to gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information. Also prizes. We're giving away a bunch of trucks and stuff over there. If you just log on and legally, that's not binding. But go to garethrennolds.com. Love you.