The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 721 - Ted Nugent

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine a person named Ted Nugent SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Nutrafol - Use code: Dollop Square

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd, we'll be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport, and 26th, the Gramer City Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. You're listening to the Dalep. This is an American History podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony,

read a story from American history to a Gestapo. That is crazy. but I am calling my fans the Gair Stoppo if you want to come out to a show. Garrett Threadle to us, no idea what the topic is going to be. Well, that was awful. That went the wrong way, really. I expected more pushback.

Hey there, Gierstapo. We're going to be in Kansas. Well, that's, uh, that's fine. I expect a different, I have a different expectation. I'm what we call yes-anding. Way too much. Yes, Anderson. To the point that people are going to call.

No, there's no one to call. That's right. I'll tell you who you should. called the Gierstapo. We're going door to door and bringing comedy, whether you like it or not. We're going to drag you out to some of the shows. If you go to Gierstapo.com.

We're also on tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. That's right. New York sold out. You guys fucked up. Yep. December 13th, 1948. You are Lord J-Town.

you know, he's got a rad kite that he's flying. All these tricks. So this awesome guy you're talking about is flying kites? Fuck, yeah, he is. But like, do it tricks. And you think that's cool. Oh, you like kite tricks? Yeah, he's got like a dragon tail on and he zips around.

I think if outside of this conversation I talk to you about kite tricks, the kids. You'd be very negative. The kids, I'm talking about teenagers, super into kiting. And that's the kind of stuff that Jay turns into. 1880? No, I'm from 2025. Okay.

year ago. You know it's fucking nuts? A time traveler from one year ago would be like, what year is this? This is 12 months from where you are right now. Well, it's really fucked up. Yeah, this is next January. Please take me back to 2025.

Oh my God. I've gone too far. I'm in the year 2080. No, no, no. This is about 11.5 months from now. Theodore Anthony Nugent was born in Redford, Michigan. Oh, no. What?

No. Good guy. Good guy. It's not easy to do sexual assault puns. You know that. He's born in Redford, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit to mom, Marion Dorothy, and father Warren Henry Nugent. Nugent.

The new, my wife, he's like a second or third cousin. She's never, she doesn't know anything about him, but he's related to my wife's family. I would have guessed that. And she, your wife, because she's from Michigan. She's very, she's got a lot of that nougy vibe. Yeah, she's got a newgy vibe. She's like a lady nougent. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, she actually, there was a wedding and we thought he was going to be at it. And I was like, can we please go? Can we please go? Warren was an army man who instilled traditional values and strict discipline. Quote, he kept order on the house with a rioting crop and forcing strict rules like a limit on the number of toilet paper squares that could be used in one sitting. That's good.

Now that's good. Well, that's called, you know, the famous Dr. Dr. Seuss, the parenting like Dr. Guy. Seuss? Dr. Spock. Dr. Spock, sorry, I said Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss is also a very big with parenting. Dr. Spock had a big thing about two squares. Like, it's called the shitty ass theory.

And so you let the kids use like two squares of toilet paper. This is who everyone was getting parenting advice from in the 70s and 80s? And then if they don't, they have to have a shitty ass and deal with it. Christ. What? No, I'm totally making that. Oh. I was like, what?

That would have been nuts. Oh, no. Look, if your kid's not right, when he gets up, it should look like someone smashed fudge in a book. I'm Dr. Spock. He also instilled an appreciation. That's how you get Klingons. Yeah.

Go ahead. He also instilled an appreciation. Have you ever watched Archer? Yeah. You have? Yeah. Like all of them? No.

What? No. Come on. I enjoyed sex. Ha! What kind of a question is that? Yeah, I've seen a few, you know what I mean? I've watched them all several times, and let me tell you, I've also had intercourse.

Yeah, I'm talking about like a bunch of it, though. Not like to make a kid. Four or five times. David's log. He also instilled an appreciation. First date, 1541514. She was an interesting species. She ordered the mozzarella sticks.

Interesting, I thought. Never had them. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, of course, Star Trek. There's a goo inside of these that are intimidating to us. I'm worried that these stringy cheeses. He's a loser. Go to a bowling alley, will you?

He also instilled an appreciation and love of the great outdoors, specifically a love of killing every animal young Ted could lay his eyes on. Yep. That's how you do it. Yep. Ted's dad's insistence. Oh, wait. According to Ted, by the time he was six, he had a gun in one hand and a guitar in the other. It's obviously bullshit. Like Ted likes to say shit.

But he loved guitars in hunting, basically. Sounds like he had a gun in his hand when he plays. Yep. Fuck you, Ted Nugent. Ted's dad's insistence on developing outdoor survival skills clashed with the suburban lifestyle of basically every person around them. But young Ted ate it up. He also mentions that hunting, fishing, and camping were formative to building his character and world view. Well, that's bad.

That's what we call a bad thing, Teddy. Quote, I spent all my waking hours out there sharpening sticks into spears, making bows, and arrows at a twine. I already was a predator. Yeah. You sure were, Ted. Yes, indeed you were. You sure were. Post-war, but also racial solidarity.

Uh-huh. Just a few years before Ted was born, black and white auto workers realized that the struggle against racism was also an economic struggle, and black workers played an instrumental part in turning Ford into a union shop. We have never forgotten that lesson. No, we have not. Ted, of course, was shielded from any of this by his stern suburban upbringing. In fact, it seems like a...

His only interaction with black people and black culture was through music. Okay. Yeah. You still think that would be, like, helpful. There's no, there's absolutely no sign that his music has any sort of, uh, no. Understanding of black, black music. Um, I mean, I don't know enough Ted Nudgeon.

I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's terrible music. So I'll give you a great example. Like, so when I was young, this is when he was kind of having his hits. we liked it in seventh grade and then by the time we got to high school we were all making fun of it. So that's what Ted Nugent is. He's the kind of music when you first start listening

to rock and roll. You're like, wow, this guy's crazy. But then you grow a little bit. It's like a boy band. You become a pre-close pubescent and you're like, well, it's fucking... The lobes start to form. Yeah, you're like, well, that guy's a moron.

So Detroit was the home of Motown. But while he enjoyed the hookah, he saw sounds. He really drove headfirst into rhythm and blues and of course rock and roll. He was influenced by Chuck Barry, Lonnie Mac, and the Shadows. So Ted's a very rebellious high school student. He would

clash with authority figures, if you can imagine that. He was a hyper kid and he began to understand the power of shock value. Right. And so this is all shock value. I wish we'd never learned that. I know, right? It's just the worst. I mean, when you watch comedy now and you

go, we can't keep doing this. The clip you sent me the other day. It is, it's a, it's a kill-tony clip, and it's this guy just being just unbelievably racist. Yeah. And they're just all like listening to it and yucking it up, and you're like, no. Well, they're reacting, you know, they're like, gee, this is not good. But then it's. They're on the show.

Yeah. And then, and then people commenting are like, wow. welcome to the deep end. Yeah, no, we're not, should probably not be having that. So shock value, and this is also against the backdrop of Ted getting serious about playing guitar.

And as his teenager, he began to form garage bands across the Detroit area. His first gigs were at local teen dances, bars that would allow underage kids, slot in their lineups and school events. So like you're saying. Yeah.

But he's, how old is he? He's a teenager, so 16 or whatever. He honed his guitar technique and stage presence, developing reputation for an energetic, aggressive playing style. Sure. Awful. There's such a thing as an aggressive playing style, but he's just like this douche-baggery, dorkey.

If you're good and aggressive player, like, that's great. Yeah. Like, fucking when you, I can't, there's this. White Stripes documentary, you watch Jack White. You're like, Jesus, crazy, like moving all over. Yeah. Yeah. But then there's dorky. Yeah, but then there's like, that guy's moving a lot.

He'd probably be better if he learned it and stood still. As he grew up, he only intensified his competitiveness, his machismo, and defiance blooming into basically his entire personality. Cool. All throughout his survivalist tendencies, his obsession with the outdoor lifestyle of hunting and kill, he just grew and grew. Cool. When Ted was 16, he formed a psychedelic garage band called the Amboy Dukes.

Okay. Wow. They became fixtures in Detroit's music scene opening for the Supremes and the Funk Brothers. Fuck, weird. Who was booking these shows? All right, so these guys kill a deer when they start. And then we'll get to you, ladies. But right as I surgery eyes, Ted's dad got transferred to Chicago.

about that Ted later said quote take an electric cigarette lighter out of the dashboard of your car and sizzled the tip of my boner why don't you

so he's amazing we called this a word smith shock value yeah I know right it's just so these are the kind of people that you stare at

and you're just like I don't know what do you want me to do I don't know it is I mean we basically now have a culture fully based on it

in this country and how the fuck you think it's going. I mean, yeah, totally. You know, if you're, if, again, if the whole thing is to keep out doing the shock or whatever it is, it's, it ain't going to be pretty. No. I mean, it ends with the people, they fought for the R word. I mean, how long till the N word?

It's got to be this year. Yeah. It's got to be this year where they're like, I think you should be allowed to say it if you're being like hyperbolic. People are going to get punched a lot if they say that, though. It's a difference. People will get literally laid out constantly. I think there are certain fan bases that would totally stand for it.

But yes. But I'm saying it's different than saying the artwork because you're going to get laid out. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I'm in a club and a guy is saying that seriously on stage, I'm throwing a fucking glass out of it. Well, dude, I fucking, did I tell you this story? I was in it. I can't remember where I was, but I was at a show somewhere in Ohio.

And I was trying to set up my camera. And I just heard the guy was opening for me. And he was just like, I just heard him say the F word. And like, F, A, you know. Oh, yeah. And I just, I was like, wait, what? And I just kind of heard it faintly. And I was like, what's going on?

And then I hear someone from the crowd go, you know, people were upset. And someone from the crowd was like, dude, shut the fuck up. Stop saying that word. Yeah. and he was, he's like, it's a joke about camping. And he was like,

stop saying it. Because he, you know, originally that word is a bindle of sticks. And he's going, it's that. And this guy goes, stop saying it.

So I literally get up on stage and I'm just going, what the fuck was that? You know, oh, even before I do that, I talked to the, like, lighting guy,

and I go, that was fucking crazy. And the guy was like, I know, I'm sorry that they kicked those people out. And I go, who? And he goes, the people who said no.

No. And I'm like, wait, they kicked out the guy who was saying, don't say that? And he was like, yeah. He goes, no heckling. I go, he's not heckling. So I'm fucking pissed. So then I go up, whatever, do my set. Then after the show, I'm selling merch next to the guy.

And the guy was like, he was like, your fans are pretty intense. And I was like, dude. They're human. And so, so then after the show, there are. people coming up to him who are going like I support your right to be able to say that you know and my fans are coming up to me going

why the fuck is this guy opening for you and I go I don't know so so the uh so that night I email my manager at the time and I go this is fucking crazy we have the guy taken off the club thankfully was like yeah that was crazy

so the club yanks him from the weekend and then I reach out to, I somehow, however it was, I find, I figure out who the guy was who was protesting. And I email him and I say, I'm really sorry, come back tonight. He's like, my friend who has just transitioned is, that was like their first outing for something. And they're at a comedy show sitting there going, boy, I hope nobody, you know, and everyone's going, oh, you're going to be fine. and then you got this guy up there saying the F word. And so I invite them all back to the show.

They all come back to the show. And then the guy was like, I mean, it was just crazy. And I just always think back to that first night where that guy was like, you got some weird fans. Because he's going around saying that. And he just keeps going, it's a bindle of sticks, dude. Chill. It's, God damn it.

It's so amazing that, like, yeah, you can say it. You get to say it on stage. That's, yeah. There's also going to be a fucking reaction, buddy. You don't get to say it and everyone goes, do, do, do, do. No, man, we're going to call you a piece of shit. But then they're like, cancel culture.

No, my. Cancel culture is when I hit you with a bat, which is like at the end of the night after I'm tired of you saying it. Yeah. But like, there's no cancel culture happening. You're saying a thing I hate and I'm telling you to fuck off. That's the thing.

You're just like, dude, then you've got to deal with the reason. The whole thing about cancel culture was, uh, yeah, that guy who sexually assaulted people, we don't think people should support him. And they're like, oh, man, here we go again. You got to be thankful that somehow, I mean, Delia is still selling out theaters,

but somehow... Is he selling out theaters? Oh, yeah. Somehow we got him into that box of he did do this stuff. It was like right before we started kind of making it all nebulous or whatever. But we, for him, we were, that has stuck. and even the comedy community, for the most part, I mean, was like, yeah, that was not cool. But now he's, like, rehabbing himself.

He's like, I had a kid. That only happened once. And then I went to rehab. And then I came out and I started to do it again. That was it. All I did was get a 16-year-old girl who I, who tits I wanted to suck on to get my name tattooed on her neck. It's cool. It's totally fine.

I told you, my buddy Kyle, who made that documentary, the only claim. that the Delia people came after him for was music to try to get the video taken down. That was no... All right, back to the story. If I can remember where we were. Oh, Predator. Chicago. Right, right. He's a predator.

Yeah, that's how he sees the world with, like, heat vision. So he's playing his fucking shows, and he's a douche-nauzle. He's in the Amboy Dukes. for the Supremes and the Funk Brothers. And then his dad gets transferred. And then he says, he'll tip of my boner, blah, blah, blah. So he goes back to Detroit with the Am Boys,

and he's now developing a bluesy, nasty sound with his guitar. And one night in his bandmate's basement, after hours of trying to find the perfect note. What? Aren't there like five? The perfect note. It was E.

Wee. He finally hits it. And according to his bandmate, that exact note shot upstairs into his aunt's head and killed her dead on the spot. Quote, I was surprised smoke

wasn't coming out of her ears. What just took place, please? I think he's saying that Ted's guitar killed his aunt. Gave his aunt a stroke or a heart attack. Cool, cool, dude. Cool, that's a good story. I bet your mother or father

love this twist. Great rock and roll story, buddy. Well, she just had an aneurysm. Wrong, dad. I'm pretty sure that Ted finally hit the D perfectly. The band started playing gigs all over America now with Ted creating a scene at every show with his guitar. He would play it by whipping it with its leather strapped

during solos or spoon it on the ground to pretend to fuck it. Right. According to Ted... But that is, to be fair, like we were saying, before. That is a, that's a talent cope. That's how you cover up a lack of skill by flipping it around and being like, oh, fuck it. Yeah, it means you cannot actually do this. Right. Like he's, he's, he's, he's one of those guys who's technically gifted at guitar, but you don't want to

listen to you. Like you're just, and people are probably going, well, you're, you're, you're, coming into this episode with a bias. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I want to dislike this main character. Yeah, 100%. Um, um, uh, Going to Ted, the band would play 300 nights a year, often touring for a week straight. Then their rest would be a 24-hour car ride to a different part of the country where they'd repeat the cycle. Another week of shows followed by another day and night on the road. So Ted's competitive starts to burst out. And he's doing it in the form of impromptu guitar battles.

He would wage against other bands on the bill. Oh. I don't hate that. I do. I mean, if I'm like there watching... watching a show. Again, I'm not a fan to know. But I'd go, I like that, a little battle. Just guys soloing off? Like, it's just, I mean, awful. It sounds like masturbating.

Rodeys would wheel out. By the way, when I said that I don't like jam band, some guys did come at me, like jam band guys that lose the door show. You know who I was talking to, I was talking to these guys who have a podcast called guys. Oh, no, I've been on that. Oh, they are, that, those dudes are so. They're great. They're so funny. But they told me about tarp culture at jam band shows.

Do you know this? No. So you know how, you know, for a parade, you put a chair out early and that's kind of this weird thing. Yeah. That would happen at fish shows where people would just lay like they would get there and just put out a tarp. Like a 30 foot long. Like, fuck, they just take over a huge plot at the front and then so fish eventually had to go back. There ain't no tarps.

Tarping. that is the people are sneaking so then people are sneaking tarps under their shirts and tarping Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is going on?

And then you know it's like holding a seat at the movies with coats But it was at a show Like a 30 foot tarp And be like sorry dude This is a city Get out

Oh shit That's great So So They're doing the Guitar battles Rodees would wheel out bigger and bigger amps as Ted and the other band's guitarist went head to head in a fight to see who could shred bigger and more bombastic. Yeah.

Describing his guitar style, Ted has said, quote, loud is good for some is great and then more is better. One more time? I mean, I said it wrong. Loud as good. If some is great, then more is better. Right. There we go. Right.

Cool. That is cool, yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, you're not 12. That idea of, uh, I could do anything I want. Yeah. He really, like, his maturity level is like a 12 year old. Right.

Yeah. Then in 1967, the Amboy Dukes struck Patert with a hit single called Journey to the Center of the Mind. I hate you. I hate you. I hate the music, but also I hate what you've said here. Do you think we can find that song? Oh, I'm sure you can.

That'd be a little curious. Oh, absolutely. you can. It hit number 16 on the Billboard Hot 100. Pretty good. It's a pretty typical psychedelic rock song, with one notable exception of Ted's raucous guitar work. The song is about how great it would be if everyone in the world, quote, took a ride to the center of their mind. I don't hate it. Well, but what's that mean to them, though, I guess is the... Here we go.

Okay, it's just standard 70s. It's like the Beatles. I was hoping for some lyrics. I don't think there's going to be lyric. Really? No. Oh. Yeah, the sound like...

Oh, I've heard this song. I have two. Oh, okay, yeah. I have heard that song, too. I can't believe that's a Ted Nagean song because it just sounds like a goofy late 60s. Look, here's the problem, Dave. Yeah.

It's not terrible. It's not terrible, terrible. It's not like he becomes. Yes, right, exactly. Because what he becomes is like horrifyingly bad. So the album cover featured about two dozen pieces of drug paraphernalia, including pipes, bongs, and hookas. And yet, despite all of this, Ted, who is becoming stanchly straight edge,

claimed he had no idea the song was about drugs, even though the band's reputation was purely built on its psychedelic. drugged out image. So really, with that statement, we're taking a journey to the center of his mind and going, hey, the fuck are you doing? How did you not piece it together? Yeah. It's, sure. All right. There you go. Uh, or he's lying. Yeah. Yep. There it is. Because he doesn't want his daddy to know. Right. Um, the band put out a string of failed follow-ups with titles like Dr. Slinghot, why is a carrot more orange than an orange? Oh, why?

Yo, wow. Batty! No! That's like when you first smoked pot. It's like a coffee talk question. It's like when you first smoked pot when you're 11. Yeah, I mean, you're trying to be like deep. Man, you ever think about that?

Hey, man, why don't they call Limes Greenies, man? Breast-fed gator? Uh-huh. Sure. That's got to be tense. That does sound like a French dish. That's got to be tense. You have a breastfed guitar with the side of potatoes or croutines.

The inexhaustible quest for the cosmic cabbage. So they're just fucking idiots. Like, they're just idiots. Around this time... But what does Ted think that is? That's weed. Yeah, of course it is. Like, what's he talking about?

And Ted's just like, man, I would love to eat lettuce on the moon. Around this time, Ted dodged the Vietnam draft. Now, according to him, by pissing and shitting his pants for a week and then doing meth before he went in for his medical exam. Bullshit. Correct. Now, I thought this was true, but then I looked it up. Josh sent me the research and I looked it up, and I had told him about that story. According to military records, he did not get out of the war this way, but received a student deferment. So he told the story later in like the late 70s. That's what he did. His roommate and drummer of the band would later

say he was the one who did the crazy poop thing to get out of the draft. Someone actually did do that? Well, specifically, he pooped in his underwear the day of the interview or whatever it is and then put the underwear on backwards. And it works. An unnecessary step. And I've done that on dates. An unnecessary step.

Yeah, putting on backwards, absolutely unnecessary step. Like, I would hear that. Like, if that was your buddy's plan. All right, so I'm actually going to go in. I'm going to have shit my pants. no way they're going to take me. Okay. I got an idea.

Yeah. Put them on backwards. Well, um... Yeah, the underwear, I mean. Then it's just going to be all of my penis. And I think I could avoid that a little bit. And then when you get there, you're like... But the back's already covered in shit.

There's not going to be a different sort of fragrance. When you get there, you're like, I suffer from shit dick. I don't think they're going to look at my dick. I think the whole thing, I think the whole thing is that I'll come in there with shit. And then you just... So I'll be covered in shit. And then you just take your pants on. off and you're like, see?

I just think if I shit them, then that's plenty. There's no need to turn them around. You could say, I think that's where it comes from is the penis. I mean, I could say that anyway, and I don't have to. Wait, wait. I'm just thinking about my, I'm actually thinking about my experience. I'm trying to put together a song called shit dick. Oh, fuck.

Get your guitar. I'm feeling this. I, I, I, uh... Get it. All right. We're doing shit dick, the song. All right. I thought it was about a worm.

Whatever. It worked for the roommate. He got out of the draft. So then Ted apparently, Ted apparently steals the story later to make it seem like a crazy rock and roll guy. Yeah. Instead he was like, excuse me, I'm studying.

I'm not a fucking dork. So at 21, Ted had children with two different women. Nice. He didn't marry them and he refused to be a father. Nice. That's my guy. That's how you do it. It's my guy right there.

He was too busy, spit. Doesn't he seem like the kind of guy that would never use a condom? Yes. Never use a condom and then just be like, well, you shouldn't let me finish and sad. He was too busy. Spitting off from the Amboys and becoming the Motor City Madman at this time. There it is. A few years later, he met Sandra Janowski, the woman who, quote, might make Ted change his wild ways.

They had two kids, and Ted was just a portrait of a domestic dad. Ted recalls he, quote, met this little girl and couldn't get her off my mind. Talk about love, hopeless love. I don't love little girl. She's of age, though. She's actually of age. I know.

Don't love it. Yeah, I know. I met Sally here when she was a little girl. I love her. Why? Why? By the mid-70s, Ted and lyricist Steam Farmer,

who absolutely knew the songs are about drugs. start budding heads over the psychedelic lyrics and stoner identity of the band. There were only two things Ted wanted to write about. Insanely macho tough guy shit and being horny. Just that's what all songs are about. You sent me this song earlier that I think is, I'm not kidding, it might be my favorite thing I've ever seen on YouTube,

but the idea of a band, like singing songs together about, that song feel like making love. I'm like, how do you sit there and seriously like four or five dudes? Yeah, just kind of just being like, really would love to have sex. I really would love to have sex.

Whether it's with McCurran or X, I just would really love to have sex. We'd really love to have sex. You know, it's like, all right. The song I sent him was Kiss You All Over by Exile. If you... The video's crazy. The video's insane.

Just make it to the synthesizer. Yeah, the synthesizer's great. But then all the solo shots of each band members. There's one guy where you're like, is he in the band? I know. Is he a dad? He's the band dad? Okay, so he's in love.

And he's got this band that he's budding heads. with and there's two things that he wants to write about insanely macho tough guy shit and being horny as you can be and his producer said that the music was quote all about the fist pardon yeah all about the fist what does that mean it's all about the fist man like what fist in the air is like a fucking the fist baby what do you mean what am i talking about what's a fist to you i mean if you're saying what i think you're saying then you're talking about a guy who's basically saying, I don't want to write about drugs. This is a band that writes songs about fisting.

For the last time, drug culture is disgusting. And everybody's doing that. We're the fist boys. We do one thing and one thing only. We fissed. We fissed. Let's fist each other. Now, if you have a problem with fisting,

then you have a problem with the songwriting in this band. And get out. If you don't like fisting, you don't like Ted Nugent. Yeah, period. Think about that. All right? So, now, let's come up with a list of more stuff that rhymes with fist. Whoa, hey!

What list? Uh, this is such a weird thing to say. The label? Uh, so we have some questions. Go ahead whenever you're ready. Well, there's, like, the whole album is sort of fist-related. Yeah, we're the only band who's carved out the zone of fisting. Okay, as a matter of fact, I don't think another band has done a song about it,

let alone a concept album. That's where we kind of have, because we were hoping that fisting would be about punching, like getting into fist fight. No, we make that very clear and jam it up the dine. Okay, so that's kind of what we kind of want to stay away from.

It's the fisting part of fisting? Like, let's just make it about fisting. Like, fist fighting. Ladies or puppets has 12 tracks that are all about fissing. Again, it's not, yeah, it's not a, it's hard to sell this album on the radio. Have you even listed a human glove?

I have actually. And? And it would name, give me one note. Well, fingers for quitters. Yeah. I can. Punch through it. Like this sounds like a fake album, I gotta be honest. Our arm is 90 dicks.

Okay. Name one band that has one song about 50. Let me, wait, we are right, we have a, by the way, our new stuff, this is great, obviously, and ready for the radio. but our new stuff's crazy. Yeah. We're legging. Again, so these are really a little, a little bit much.

We're trying to hit like a young team market. Nope, but it's not what I mean. Well, get the kids fit. Look. No. Do you want us to go to high schools and talk to them about the benefits of FISD? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.

Can you wash your, have you got, did you guys watch? Are you? Have you even made it to the last? song washing removes the act. So Ted goes solo. Nice. And he picks a new vocalist named Derek St. Holmes, and the band instantly becomes known

for their hyper-energetic stage presence and buzzsaw guitars. I always thought he was singing. Everybody did. Oh. Everybody did. It was very common. Oh.

He never sings. He doesn't sing. He's just the guitarist? Yeah, he's not singing then. Jesus Christ. The old. opening track on Ted's first solo record was an eight-minute headbanger called... So it's a solo record...

He's not singing? It's like Santana. So Santana... Santana doesn't sing. Yeah, but he's an amazing guitar player. Well, that's different. But I'm saying it's like Santana in the sense that it's called Santana, but he's not the lead singer.

Wow. The opening track on Ted's first solo record was an eight-minute headbanger called Strangle Hold, which featured the lyric. You ran the night that you left me. you put me in my place I got you in a stranglehold baby and then I crushed your face All right

That's cool That's nice stuff That's good That's stuff that everybody can listen to in the house Yeah yeah yeah it's nice Music for all Yeah nice The Supremes are backstage

Like Stop Yeah Violence was a regular occurrence In the audience at TED shows The kids in the crowd Would blow up fireworks Get in fist fights

and set seats on fire and storm the stage. A terrible fan base. Yeah. Ted was hitting his stride, and his next few solo albums like Cat Scratch Fever and Double Live Gonza were major hits. So he's now a really big rock and roll star. Cat Scratch Fever is the only one I can name.

I think that's the only one I've heard parts of. Plus minor hits like Wang Dang Sweet Puntang made him... I don't think I've heard the song. I've heard of that. The highest grossing rock. and roll act of the late 70s. What? Because it's so fucking dumb that I'm, I'm in like, whatever, seventh grade.

It's great. For seventh grade? Yeah, right. It's Wang Bang Sweet Boontang. I'm like, like I'm on Cloud 9 because I'm creepyvesant. Right. Yeah. Star Trek and that for you.

Oh, did you ask for the lyrics to Swing Bang? You did. Sweetin Tang? Okay, I'll tell you. No. That name Dean. What a teenage queen. She looking.

so clean, especially down in between. What I like, she'd come to town. She'd be fooling around of putting me down as a rock and roll clown. It's all right, chorus. Wang, bang, sweet poon tang. Wang, bang, sweet poon tang. Man, it's fucking great, right? In our lifetimes, they were like comfortable being like,

it's a statutory rape. on a song. Well, it's a, it's a story about a teenager with a very clean vagina. Like, 18 and 19. We, you know what we should do? We should just call it. We should just make those different ages so that what people are talking about. Teed stuff.

By the way, not to keep harping on Delia, he did know the state where 17 was legal, like off the cuff. Fuck. He was like, yeah, well, Louisiana, obviously. Everyone's like, how do you? Well, there you go. It's got a map on his wall. Yeah, so those are really terrible lyrics. I'm a sex defender.

So these are terrible lyrics. Just on just like every level, they're just fucking dumb and they're misogynistic and they're predatory and everything else. A couple years later, Ted would say his solo on the song at a concert in Detroit on September 3rd, 1978, was the second most important event of the 1970s. Yeah, sure.

Can you disagree with that? I'm trying to think of one other thing that happened in the 70s. and... That's kind of it. Watergate, Watergate, and then that. It's Nixon resigning, and that it's Ted Nugent's solo on the song Wang Bang Sweet Puntang in Detroit on September 3rd. I think we're all losing focus on Wang Bang Sweet Poon Tang.

Ted, quote, I am so moved by my music and so proud of my music that I think everyone's life would be better if they just played Stranglehold and Cat Scratch Fever. I mean, that is some Segal bass. shit. Totally. That is like Seagal mind. Yeah, you're just a level I can't stop listening to my own stuff.

Wouldn't the world be better? I just finished editing my special. I don't ever want to watch it again. Dude, by the time you're done making an album or a special you're like, fuck off. I mean recording I was done with it. Yeah. Having to watch an editing. No. Terrible.

Man, I could keep watching this. Yeah. And he's like, I love me, some me. Ted's head is getting bigger and bigger the more famous he became, and he began stealing what little spotlight there was left for the other members of his band, literally. He would walk into the spotlight when it was on other members and play guitar in front of them on stage, blocking them from the audience.

Man, that is spinal tap. That's crazy. That is crazy. I mean, you're the guitarist, not the lead singer. and it's already you, but then, oh, man. Not to mention the lighting guy, I was like, Jesus Christ. Quote, you can call it ego, you can call it bragging anything you want,

but there's only one alpha male, and it's me. Terrible. Terrible. But through it all, Ted kept his love of the outdoors. Yeah. We should go there more. Quote, there's nothing more extreme than sonic bombast, rock and roll, and the silence of the swamp. It's magic stuff.

What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? You are so, this guy is so dumb. I'm an idiot. He's so fucking dumb. It is bombastic swamp stuff. I'm the swamp creature with a guitar. His life of constantly being on the road and using his rare off time to hunt took its toll on his marriage.

He explained the divorce quote, maybe I wasn't around enough when she was pregnant or with the kids, but for whatever reason, she gave up on the marriage. She quit. I mean, at the end of the day, she, look. She couldn't take it. She couldn't handle it. So it is the woman's job to let you do anything, and she just had me on a leash.

So there was nothing that could be done. I was cheating on her. I swore at her. I was a real piece of ship. And she laughed. I'm going to continue the quote. I was a wang dang addict I was addicted to girls

it was hopeless it was beautiful By the way You know who else was straight edge? Who? Was he really? Yeah, he is yeah Yeah See that's a,

Have a fucking joint Would you please? Seriously, relax Have a goddamn joint So in 1978 They get divorced This led This is a brutal court battle

That finally ended in Ted getting joint custody of the kids. Once his fight with this... Yeah, very good. Once his fight with his ex-wife was over, Ted turned his sights on lead singer Derek St. Holmes on their next album, Cat Scratch Fever, Ted took over the vocals on all the hits.

Quote, it was a battle for dominance and Ted was a master at marking his territory. Wait, songs that have been written and sung by the other guy... I think he takes over. He now starts singing them. Yeah. That is a wild move. So, yeah, so I think the other guy maybe wrote the lyrics and then he stepped in and, or he,

or he did the music and then was like, no, I'm singing this. Still, that's a very weird move. Now I'm the singer. Support for the dollop comes from square. Not, not the shape. It's an actual. I thought there's like Sesame Street. No, there's a service.

It's not the shape. By square and eight. It's like the thing that powers like half of the places that I go, basically. If you've ever like tap me, you know, you tap to pay and you think, wow, that was really, that was fast. That happened really fast. Probably square. Square. It doesn't matter if you're selling lattes or cutting hair or detailing cars.

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spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com. promo code the dollop. That's neutrophil.com promo code the dollop. Yeah. In 1978, Derek, as well as the band's bass player, both quit because of Ted just being a dick. That's fine. I can play the bass too.

I'm going to do the whole band. I'm going to look like Dick Van Dyke and Mary Poppins. This moment began Ted's steady decline. So he was never big again without Derek and the other guy. They were together the band. And he got rid of the band, and now he's just... So it sounds like you might have ego issues. Yeah.

It's kind of like, and now he's in his Chinese democracy era. At the time, he was still one of America's favorite top rock acts, but Ted would never see crowds or album sales like Cat Scratch Fever again. And without a wife or a band, Ted began to spiral. In his time of despair, he found salvation in the arms of a woman. woman. Well, not a woman. I said woman. He found salvation in the arms of an underage teenage girl. Ten had a thing

for underage girls. He was very open about it, especially in his jailbait song. Oh, did you ask for the lyrics? No. Oh, I think you did. No. Well, I don't care if you're just 13. You look too good to be true. I just know that you're probably clean. There's one little thing I got to do to you. It's quite all right. I asked your mama, wait a minute, officer.

Don't put those handcuffs on me. Put them on her and I'll share her with you. Oh, my God. How we doing? Oh, my God. Do you not like lyrics? Because those... Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. I mean, can't he be put away for that? That's an admission. That's fucking insane. That's crazy. I don't even want to go through it, but just like, I know you're clean. The clean thing has not come up twice. It's in Wang Bang Sweet Puntaing, which I think Elton John covered, and it's also in jail bait.

So, there's so many levels to how fucking gross this is, but that I don't know where to go with it. but it's just like, just the fact that this is a hit song, this is so fucking crazy. The people are going around singing it. It's just so insane. No, we, it's just, we, I mean, we're mad at that,

and then it's like, the fucking president, you know, is obviously. Yeah, well, our president is also, yeah, they probably had this, the lyrics on his wall. Yeah. In an interview on the Howard,

we know she's clean. And in an interview on the Howard Stern show later, Courtney Love claimed that she was coerced into giving Ted a blowjob when she was 12. Oh, my fucking God. What? Is that young? Oh, my God. She said it was before she entered puberty.

She's like, I didn't have boobs yet. Years later, she went back on the show and said she was 14. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. But she also said there was also a line of teenage girls waiting to do the same thing. Oh, my God. And then there was Pellé-Lame. a 17-year-old Hawaiian girl. Ted's 30.

And he described her as, quote, a dream, a fantasy, an exotic fantasy. Looking back on it, Pele said, quote, even back in the Wild 70s, it wasn't a terribly appropriate situation, and now it would be criminal. I believe then it would be criminal, wouldn't it? I don't know.

And I think it was younger then. I think there was definitely a lot of, A lot of the ages have been moved up, but there was a big younger thing for a while. Yeah. But look, there were a ton of 70s rock stars, 80s having sex with teenage girls. David Bowie, Jimmy Page, Stephen Tyler, Bill Wyman of the Stones, Iggy Pop, Mick Jagger. So allegedly all, but, you know, the girls have come out and said, yeah, I had sex with them when I was a teenager. Well, that's cool.

Well, that's good to hear. Well, that's cool. But. Yeah. Unlike those guys, Ted couldn't really blame it on drugs or alcohol because he'd been preaching his drugs and drinking throughout the 70s. They were drunk. So you can't listen to the Rolling Stones because there's that. Go ahead.

Yes. Yes. That was close. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. No. He can't actually because that's bullshit. He struggled with drugs and alcohol throughout the entire 80s. Okay.

Well, here's a. Uh-huh. We just all have to start listening to Ted Nugent again. And that won't be so bad because then we get the Rolling Stones too. Oh. Ted public admitted, publicly admitted to several liaisons with underage girls, but the authorities never once went after him. Part of the reason why is that the girls' parents wanted some of Ted's money and fame.

So what he would like? Well, Paley's mother signed paper. work to make Ted her legal guardian. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.

Good fucked. How about that? How about you? Dave Anthony? Go fuck yourself. He had paper. I mean, imagine that. He fucking had daught in her.

She could have sex with her. Oh my God. McJagger never did that. No, he didn't. Although, I think Wyman did, but. Well, Wyman married her when she was really, but whatever. That's fucking crazy. With the same time, Ted is doubling down on his caveman act on stage.

He is now wearing a leather loincloth and swinging around on ropes like Tarzan. Just like all good musicians. Just like Jimmy Hendrix did before him. Talented guitar players do that sort of stuff. So what, he's Gallagher the rock star? Yeah, basically. Tarzan. At one show in California, Ted rented an army,

tank and cruised around the parking lot while fans lined up at the entrance. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what is this place? He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, America the guy. Yes, right. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He is.

He is. He's totally America, the guy. Yes. Yeah. He's like, he's like, what if you could take 2026 America and put it into one dude? Yes. Ted Nugent. Yes.

Uh, uh, uh, also I think. a tank in a parking lot would completely tear up the asphalt. Oh yeah, absolutely. Would destroy it, I would think. Yeah, that's fine, though. Yeah. That's fine. By the way, I think your metaphor only sticks harder.

Well, we can't use any of this now, but I had a good time. He once got his head, his huge head of hair stuck in a pulley system as he was being lowered down from the ceiling and 140 feet in the air down to the stage. and he had to rip out a massive chunk of his hair or, quote, I'd have plummeted to the ground and died. Oh. What, what, look, we, uh, why can't that happen?

I know. Why can't this be a story about that? Like, this is a small-up then, like I do it. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, who? Yeah. Ted Nudgeoning.

This guy. He never heard of him. His hair got caught a bullet. And he died at a tars. We did do a Billy Squire small-up on the picture. Yeah. But this is so great. Oh, man.

It'd be awesome. Just being at that show, there's a weird entrance, man. Hey, what's going on? Sorry, Ted Nugent is dead. The show is over. Another thing Ted liked to do on stage was he would writhe around on the floor like he's in pain and complain that there's so much pussy out there

and he won't be able to eat at all. It's just like, it's just so dumb. Like, it's just so dumb. We get it. We get it. We get it. We get it, bro. Yeah, we get it.

We get it. We get it. We get it. You're horny. What do you? We get it. Got any songs? I just can't wait.

I wish I could just get out there and go mouth to box all day. Christ, it's been two hours. When's he going to play a song? I mean, this would be like, like, as comedians, this would be like if there's a guy like Andrew Schultz who's popular. Excuse me. I'm here for DeLea, but you're going to watch yourself, my king. Watch yourself.

Andrea Moore has the greatest joke about him. It's that he looks like if he's like the result of a Nazi and his captive. He's captive. He's both. So obviously critics now are getting very bored and annoyed and think it's fucking You can imagine. Oh, yeah. Ted's mouth was starting to get louder than his guitar,

but things are about to go from bad to shit. In 1980, after years of sold-out arena tours and major album sales, Ted discovered he was broke. If you can imagine a guy like this not keeping track of his money, can you imagine? He seems like he'd be such a financially astute gentleman. Well, Ted, you've adopted 30 daughters. It's a lot of.

He had a net worth. of negative $300,000. Nice. So he is America. He is totally America. He's a month or two away from losing his house, his cars, his guitars, and every personal possession that he owned. USA, baby. Ted's business associates were investing his money in things like Mink farms to make fur coats.

Well. And Clydesdale horses to do, I don't know, pull the Budweiser slain. Like, that's the only thing that they do. They stopped a campaign. But we also put all that money in polar bears for Colt. Ted's response to all this, get in the studio, and record a weird as hell song about having sex called Wango Tango. I think I've heard that one too.

Yeah, that was a, yeah, I think this is a kind of hit. He got on the road because of a minor hit, pinging in 86 on the billboard charts. Man, he loved minor hits. So this is when I'm in Heist. I think I'm a freshman. And he, I went to like, because we had this tower records was a thing. They had like a bin of dollar rock shirts.

Oh, sure. It's okay. And so I just grabbed them. I was just like fucking hilarious. And I put it on. And I kept it. I had it. Like I never wore it.

I had it as like a joke or whatever. And then there was a flood. And I got super soaked. and that was the only shirt I had in my locker for some reason. And I had to wear it because that was like soaking wet and I had to switch shirts. And then I, for like six months, my nickname was Wango Tango. Oh.

Oh, boy. Really rough. Rough shit. And I don't even think I knew the song. Yeah, right. Like at all. Yeah, right. But then tragedy strikes.

Ted's ex-wife, Sandra, who's the mom. father of the two children that he cares about, drove drunk and crashed her car and she died. Oh, dear. Ted stepped up and became more of a father to the kids for, you know, a while. Sure. And then he went back on the road and had Pele care for the kids. She's like a decade younger than the mom.

I'm your mom daughter, sister. I mean, she's got to be like 23 or something. Sure. So she raises the kids as though they are our own and the kids love her. a mother figure. So I think the kids are lucky that she was around. Sure. Meanwhile, Ted was absolutely mowing through teenage girls.

He used the fact that he and Pele weren't married as an excuse to resort to, in his words, quote, alternative flesh management. Yeah. A foul of who saying, Wow! Alternative flesh management. How

fucking rat am I? Alternative flesh management. I'm so cool. Fuck, dude. In 1988. God, what a dumb identity. It's so dumb. What an absolute ridiculously dumb hook.

Yeah, the whole, everything he is. I'm the fuck guy. Like, if you want to be a rock star and you fuck a bunch, yeah, that's like rock star shit. That's rock star. But to be like, oh, I think about it, talk about it, and rock about his fucking. And by the way, there kids. Cool. All right, man.

You get Ted's new album? Right on. It's called fucking teens. Yeah. Yeah. It's called no womb. I got room. Oh, fuck.

So in 1988, Pele leaves him. Oh, man. So she spent 10 years with this motherfucker. My girlfriend daughter left. Pele, quote, he lost his first wife to his infidelities. He lost me and the people who really get hurt are the children. That he's dating.

he admitted that he gave her STDs in a behind the music episode Cool I feel like once you do that The marriage should be over Yeah Yeah I don't want multiple times

I don't know You're only move in that situation Is to just go with the You cheated But of course He is the no conum guy He probably has so many fucking kids out there From like a 16 year old girls

Who got pregnant And just didn't want to say anything and it's Ted's bait. Like, oh, yeah, come on. And then you get a little older and like, oh, my God, I don't want my kids knowing that Ted's the father. He's out there weighing, bang, sweet Poon-Tangin. Like, that's not a good dad figure.

It only took Ted a few months to find the next love of his life, a young radio reporter named Shemaine Diesel. They got married in Vegas after dating for just three or four months. Ted's best man was Kurt Russell Who just lost respect for Kurt Russell God damn what? Oh Kurt Russell

Oh, Kurt Fuck Kurt, you just blew it Oh Kurt, no renounce this So I had to look him up after this And he is a Big Second Amendment guy Oh

Not so much like Maga Like not But like big second amendment libertarian dude, but I think he doesn't like the, like, maga shit. He's probably out on what's happening. He,

he, like, makes fun of Republican, uh, people in Hollywood and Democrats in Hollywood. Right. Which is kind of what we do. Yeah. Kurt,

if you'd like to be on a pastimes, say the word. But either way, being Ted's best man is a real black mark against you as a human. That ain't great, my guy. Uh,

they click the out of child, a boy named Rocco, Winchester. Nugent. Terrible. And as soon as Ted had what looked like Domestic Bliss, he felt the road calling again.

He formed a supergroup of sorts. Tommy Shaw from Sticks. Let me know when we, the supergroup's starting. There you go. Jack Blades of Night Ranger. So who are we going to get for the supergroup? And Michael Cartillon,

later of Leonard, Leonard Skinner. Later of Leonard Skinner. The second. Oh, nice. And they're singing, so this was, I think this is damn Yankees, which is maybe the worst rock and roll band, I think. Careful. Careful, careful. Their second single, high enough, went all the way to number three on the Billboard charts.

Oh, that band? Yeah. Wait, how does that one go? High and no. I don't know. We've got to bring it up. I don't know. That's how much I don't care.

Number three became the most popular song of Ted's entire. career. It keeps happening amazing opinions like saying that South African apartheid wasn't, quote, that cut and dry. By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, that now liberal. How do we hit? How do we not hit bottom till now? I don't know.

Like how do you like the fucking Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, God. Honestly, weighing in on apartheid. Yeah. What do you do it's like the early 90s And he's like, wait, what do you do? Shut the fuck.

We're not talking about the 80s. We're not talking about the 80s. He said this in the 90s when it's very clear That it's really bad. I don't know. I mean, honestly, and then you got to look at Mandela's a shit, that too.

Who is he kidding? In 1993, Ted pulled a stunt. where he shot flaming arrows on stage. This dude should have died. Yeah. And that got him arrested and fined for flagrant violation of the fire code. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, it's flaming arrow inside. It's actually bad. Showing up at his door and be like, uh-oh, it's because of all that disgusting sexual stuff. No. Fire is no joke, Ted. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? Ted said the whole ordeal exposed, quote, an embarrassing shallow attitude toward people like myself

who really support law and order. So he is like a lot of these. Yes, like a lot of them. I, uh, whatever I do is actually my ideology. And I'm right about everything. And it's still, it should be fine.

And because I, because I did it. I backed the blue. So I should be able to shoot flaming arrows and fuck kids. Yep. Why can't I? Well, Ted, in the future, you'll be able to. He did, however, say that all cops liked him,

and then he handed out over 100 autographs during his time in jail. Probably 100% true. Yep. He spent part of that time with his opener, Jesse James Dupree, from the band Jackal, who was popped for misdemeanor public indecency after he pulled down his pants on stage, even though he covered his penis with the guitar.

Like, what have we become? All right, hold on. You can't even take your fucking dick out and put your guitar in front of it anymore. I think that's okay, too. Yeah, all right, there we go. See? We're not just, we're not just lib-pill. I watched the chili peppers years ago.

And you can see their dicks. Oh, yeah. Thank God. At the same time, Ted was... Do you imagine being in that band, tiny dick? Hey, I'll probably just do shorts. I'll do, I'll do Jorts. No, we're all going to put socks on our car.

I'll do overalls. I'll be kind of the, I'll be a straight man. I'll dress up like a security guard got to go. I'm like, hey, now wait a minute, but those socks are for feet,

not for cows. We're all in socks. That's the thing. I just think that that's going to be. Right on our dicks. Yeah. And they hang off. But you need a straight man.

Someone who's got the POV of the rest of the world, and I think that's what I'll do. I'll get up there and how about this? I already said it. I'll put, I'll come out in. shorts and I'll have socks on my feet and while you guys every time there's a break

I'll just say into the mic, pretty sure that socks are for feet boys. It's not the vibe we're going for. Because I think at the end of the day I think the whole thing is that you know, three very funny and then one who's sort of hey kind of pointing I think that's so important. Let's just do this. Let's just put on the sock right now. I'll put them on my feet. And we'll take a no on your dick and we'll take a look at a, we'll take a look at how it looks.

I got it. Take, take it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I'll put the sock on my balls and then I'll hold my penis. I'll hold my penis. I'll do, I'll be, oh my God. That way it is a pretty consistent look and I'll just have my balls jammed into it because I have big balls and a big dick, but I just don't think aesthetically, we're probably going to want a ball. We're going to want a guy to have his balls in the sock. Well, you can have your dicks in the sock and there's one. guy with his balls in the sock. Think about that.

I think that's awesome. Flea? You want to back me up here? No, you're out of the band. Okay. How about this? Yeah. I'm quitting the band because of this.

Oh, with a sock? I'm telling you, I'd love to jam my balls in a sock, and then we could just put some tape on my penis. Can I ask that you stop saying that jam my balls in a sock? I would love to place my balls and penis in the sock. and then my penis will be out of the sock. Guys, guys, guys, I know we're a rebellious group of young wild funk masters.

Yeah. But I just think we're going to not want, I think it'll age pretty poorly. And I'm right, because Anthony ends up with a 17-year-old. At the same time, Ted was producing animal snuff films of him killing deer, bison, and other game with his bow and arrow. This guy's awesome.

This caught the ire of animal rights activists who made him a major target of their vitriol, but Ted defended the spiritual nature of the hunt. Quote, When you high five and dance around a dead animal, that's a prayer in its own way. I mean, this is, uh, it's, uh, okay. A clip of VH1's behind the music shows Ted eating the meat of an animal he killed and screaming, Celebrate the flesh. He sure did.

He says hunting gives him full predator spiritual erection. He's such a fucking dork. It's exhausting. He is. He's an exhausting dork. He's just a fucking idiot. September of 1996,

Ted installed the radio station on his ranch and began broadcasting a show for a local Detroit rock station. In the late 90s, Ted made a big chunk of money from his image as an outdoorsman. So this money like ships. So the music is just kind of dead.

Right? And now he's moving to this new thing. He owned a hunting supply store. He produced almost a dozen animal killing documentaries in a series called Ted Nugent, Spirit of the Wild. He is the videos to proselytize his new theory that hunting brings families together. And our society's turn away from hunting has led to our downfall. Fucking dark. We are living in Ted.

We are living in Ted Nugent's version of what he wanted. We now have no care for the environment and pedophilia is basically okay. Yes. So there you go, Ted. How's it looking? He focused on the next generation, taking make-a-wish kids on trips to kill deer. I wanted to meet Shaq. I know I'm going to die.

Quiet. We're going to kill a rare rhino. This is a zoo. Hold on a minute. We're going to shoot a chip with an oozy. I'm sorry to hear about your bones. and he started a hunting program called Ted Nuchin's Camp for Kids, enrolling children as young as three.

Ted, quote, wherever you find a graduate of Ted Nudgeon's Camp for Kids, you won't find any gangs, you won't find any substance abuse, and you won't be worried about which nipple to pierce this week because instead they get high on dynamo hunting trip that ain't available downtown. Ha!

Fuck you. Fuck you. I'm new. It's just, it's just dumb. It's just, it's a level of dumb that is so hard. If we, if we can leave one lesson behind of the past 50 years, it's this,

prosecute in jail. All the guys banging kids. All the kid bangers got to go. Let's put the kid bangers in jail. All the, all the enormous, selfish, psychotic criminals. need to be put away. Yeah.

That's it. That's right. Because if you leave them out, boy, there's a big group of losers who are going to make it an ideology. And you let that fester long enough, it's going to become the mainstay.

I, so in his behind the music, which is in 1998. You watched it. I remember watching it at the time. And it's the time I totally turned on him because I knew, I knew he had,

I knew about the, becoming a legal guardian of Pele and I knew certain things. But that's what it really cemented me for how fucked up I was because, and I might be wrong about this because I didn't watch this for this, but I just have a recollection

and it could have been from something else, but his daughters are there and they're older and he's brought home like a fucking 14 year old or something and they have to try to get her out of there. What? What do you mean? On the behind the music?

I could be wrong. Well, yeah, it's part of the, when they're interviewing the daughters and stuff, he's, or it could be another thing I'm thinking about. It could not be behind this. But I remember this really cementing like, this is one of the craziest things I've ever seen. That's behind the age you're thinking of it.

That's a different show. He did a lot of those. Well, on behind the music, he admits to having sex with multiple underage girls. And his wife's daughters have to get this young girl away. That's just what I fucking remember. So I could be wrong. I might have to watch it again.

But I definitely saw that at one point. I saw a documentary thing where there's a fucking, he's brought home a young girl and the teenage daughter's like, yeah, we got to get her out of here. That's so fucking crazy. He took his same showman shock guy idiot facade he used in Rock to be, to being an outdoorsman. So it's the same fucking shock, dumb shit.

At 2000, he hosted a hunting event on his land in Michigan, charging hunters to partake in what he called Rape of the Hills. Cool. what a great like as a hunter what a great message well yeah of course and you are also

like I can't law enforcement I mean he's basically confessing to all this shit but law enforcement love him my my cousin is like

the head of like he might even be more than just Idaho now but he's like wildlife you know had BLM type guy right and he goes out

hunts and he'll be like there's too many bears right now we literally have to thin the herd or they're going to start getting sick and shit yeah like that's what hunting kind of is for that's why they give licenses and you can't kill a bunch it's it's to to keep everything in order right because their predators are not around like they used to be so it's a it's a thing but you know what i support uh hunting man hunting men but this is like rape of the hills hunting hunters rape of the hills is like the opposite of everything that those kind of hunters think. It's just like fucking crazy. But again, all he cares about is shock.

Yeah. Yep. And it works. And again, he has to keep out doing it over and over again so that he stays relevant. Yeah. And he has a 34-acre... He's like Jesse Waters with a guitar. Yes.

He has a 34-acre ranch with high fending. So the animals are fenced in. Yeah, right. Of course, people are offended by all this, which created more attention, and he got even more... Then he's got more like, I'm sorry that I believe in the founding fathers. And then people are signing up and he's making money.

Right. And then he gets into even more attention when he gets into an altercation with protesters in San Francisco. They're in front of a Neiman Marcus store in Union Square. They're protesting fur. And Ted just happens to show up. By the way, Ted also hates fur. We're not going there. A protester asked him when he was going hunting next.

And Ted said he might hunt the protesters. So they're arguing, and then Ted spits on the protesters, and then he grabs the main guy, and then he tells cops, the protester had bumped him and threatened his life. So cops arrest. He's ice. I mean, the district attorney looks at the video from the store, and it shows Ted is completely lying, and the charges are dropped.

For some reason, he's not arrested. I was just going to say, I mean, the charges should be reversed. Yes, they should be reversed. but he doesn't get arrested. Quote, Carl Goldman, a member of the coalition to abolish the fur trade, said police were star-struck during the incident taking Ted's word over the protesters. We're really big fans. Oh, the way that you want to sing up banging, like 13-year-olds is so amazing.

We've got to change that law. Ted had a few short-lived reality shows, including one where he sliced his leg open with a chainsaw and he needed 40 stitches. Man. Now, two got California game. Mourins are watching his show, Spirit of the Wild, and then watch as he violates several state hunting laws. Quote, we looked at it and just shook our heads saying, I can't believe he actually aired

this episode. Wow. In the show, Ted constantly railed against poachers and other wildlife criminals, and he gets charged with 11 violations, including using deer bait and shooting an underage male deer. Well, surprised you to try to fuck it. I thought you used bait. Two years later, he pleaded guilty to violating Alaska's hunting laws. He had a license to kill a bear.

What a weird. So it's not like a huntie. You'll add one bear, Ted. Well, that's what you do. If you get a bear license, you can kill one bear that season. And there's a waiting list for getting a bear license. Like, it's like a big deal. Because they don't let you kill that many bears.

So he has a license to kill. a bear, but he just wounds it and it gets away. That means you're done. That was your bear. You shot a bear. Even if it got away, it's your fuck up. That's it. So he kills another bear.

He's fined $10,000 and put on two years probation. His mouth has long sense of clipped his music, with his fame and notoriety coming from espousing shock jock-style right-wing filth, like calling Obama a subhuman mongrel or comparing people on the left to rabid coyotes and telling the audience to, quote, keep your gun handy and every time you see one, shoot one. Other all-time great quotes?

What's a feminist? A fat pig who doesn't get it often enough? When he once claimed fat chicks will kill you, his thoughts on immigration, quote, We should put razor wire around our borders and give the finger to any piece of shit he wants to come here. He called 13-year-old Trayvon, Martin, who was murdered for walking in Florida, a gangster wannabe, and said critics were angry

because he was, quote, blacker than they are. That is quite a fucking run there. At a show in L.A., he held two fake machine guns over his head and yelled, quote, Obama, he's a piece of shit, and I told them to suck on my machine gun. And then I was in New York, and I said, hey, Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch. That's a crime. Yeah.

It's also that, you know, like, this is the same shit. It's freedom of speech. Like, that's the whole thing. And you shroud yourself and that. But this, you letting this sort of culturally fester results in a lot of fucking lost idiots thinking that this is cool and all right and this isn't what free speech was for no yeah it was so you could you could take a stance against the government that you don't believe in this shit even then he he has his right to say anything but if he's like if he's like holding guns and by the way

he is also a statutory rapist of a hundred times over just amazing proportion he's It's like our all-time greatest statutory rapist. Yeah, right. So, like, you know, that, that, you know, it really does shock you the amount of people that are into that stuff, like that younger, like, fucking younger women. It's crazy. It's crazy to me. Crazy.

And, of course, he said, quote, anybody that doesn't think it is better to blow someone's brains out, then be raped, deserves to be raped. If you don't think your life is worth it, then please go out there. Say that one more time. Anybody who doesn't think it is better to blow someone's brains out than be raped deserves to be raped. If you don't think your life is worth it, then please go out there. Don't wear any underpants and get raped because you deserve it. This is from a rapist. A rapist is saying this. A rapist. A rapist. That's just crazy. He's also written several books, including God Guns and Rock and Roll by Ted Nugent. Of course, he starts his book with a Bible passage.

See, that's the thing. It's like, disavow him. Wow. The Bible passages, quote, every morning, every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you. Including Ted Nugent. Genesis 9.3. Then there's a passage about the writing style of the book, quote, This book by the hard, draven, hard, love, and full throbbing, high,

Dyer Slay and All things. He is a fucking stat. I mean, he fucks underage girls. And he's like, sorry that I got a big hard cock and I'm a fuck machine for kids. What are you doing? Sorry, I won't apologize for what I do. Fulf robin, high octane, deer slaying, all things scaring, ballistic guitar boy, nuditizes the English language.

I'm trying to think of like, who in my life. I've, if there's anyone, the, if there's someone who does abhorrent shit, you're like, oh, shit, all right, I'm out. Mm-hmm. And it's just how it is. Yeah. You just, you go, yeah. So why, why would you have a fan? I mean.

Like, okay, Woody Allen, I'm out. You're out. Like, there's so many people I'm just like, oh, I don't need your music. I love the band Cracker. Like, I fucking love them. That guy made some of those craziest fucking genocidal fucking comments. and I was like David Lowry just said the worst fucking shit. And I'm out.

Like I love that band, but I'm never going to listen to him again. I'm not. But that's like, I'm just saying that's way down the fucking list. I know. I'm not just fit like, okay, yeah. And I agree. But I mean, if you heard someone you've liked being like, yeah, it's all about fucking 14 year olds all the time because they got a big high tack. And be like, what?

You're you're you what all these conservative guys loves them love them and you're just like so you're you're cool with fucking statutory rape like you're totally down with it like this is your guy because he because he can shoot a fucking deer like what are doing? Because you have things that that is that's exactly right because that's what it is and that's what it is with Trump it's look I agree with him on some stuff so I hang in there for the dark stuff and it's like no you actually have to throw that out and find a new idol.

Sorry, that's it. That is a, that's it. Because we are at the breaking point where you have to decide if you are going to allow the powerful to rape young kids. Well, you can see what happens when you allow a bunch of fucking pedophiles to run shit. Yeah, it's not an isolated view. It's not at all. And it turns out they do other bad stuff. Yeah.

Shockingly. Yeah. It's, I mean, that is shocking shit. It really is. And again, this is not Michael Jackson. We're not talking about like, hey, he was a hit machine. It's tough. If it comes on the radio, I don't know what to do.

Right. This is this guy. He's garbage. He's trash. He's like human garbage. Softballiest softball of all time. To have to quit Ted Nugent music. What the fuck?

Or show, whatever. But you can't find another hunter that you like? You can't find that? Look, there's a ton of dips shit who don't rape children. Trust me. You will find them. Well, okay. So in 2007, Tund unveiled the monument to his mother and said, quote, I didn't change the lyrics to weng.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm going to need you to take a minute because I want that from the top. In 2007, Ted Nugent Unileged, Unveiled. the monument to his mother. Monument should be called. And said, quote, I didn't change the lyrics to Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang or anything,

but I was constantly reminded of her presence to always take the high road and be a gentleman at all costs. What the fuck? Wait a minute. But the thing is, he's the kind of guy that believes this. Yeah, yeah. No, this is, this is, there is this, there is this, uh, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, delusion. I mean, just

with all that he said, you also call it the high road. That's just crazy. What are you talking about? Isn't your whole thing the low road and you're like into it? And that's like your identity and ideology? But honestly, fair is fair. You got to be a nice guy.

My mom was a good mom. You got to be a nice guy. And I followed what she said. That's why I made a statue of my mom. By the way, another red flag. Mom statues? Not good. That's bad. Ted became eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the year 2000,

but has not been abducted. Oh, he's never getting him. He's never fucking getting him. By the way, I wish they would do it and he would be abducted. He's publicly complained about it saying, quote, is it or is it not vulgar, dishonest, and obscene that the Grandmaster Flash, Patty Smith, and Abba are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? But Ted fucking Nugent isn't?

Is that the most outrageous and disgust? lie you've ever seen. No. It's completely reasonable. You're a bunch of them. You're a terrible musician. You're awful. Yeah.

Well, and also, let's be honest. You've been pretty clear about what you do. Are they going to play jail? Like, so when you get put in, all the, all the, all the, all the, like is, Springsteen going to come out with, fucking McCartney and play jailbate?

Oh my God. And Wang Bansley. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. So do you guys know all the lyrics? You guys know what I'm talking about it. I felt like I was in heaven because I parked her at 11.

Holy shit. Paul, why are you getting white? Republican Greg Abbott had Ted come on his campaign stops with him when he ran for governor in 2014 because it's always best to have a teenage girl rapist with you when you run for governor of Texas. He won the election. Ted currently hosts a podcast where he'll debate basically anyone who pays attention to him. his son is now a vegan I'll bet he bangs over 18

exclusively too Ted believes vegans are responsible for the most death because farmers use tractors that kill more animals What? He's lost his hearing in one ear but sadly Ted Nugent is not dead yet I don't think he's ever heard

How old? I don't know how what Let me go back and see when he was born He was born in 48 Okay, so he's 70s. Yeah, he's up there. Late 70s. Yeah, he's up there.

Josh Androsky wrote this. Jesus Christ. So Josh had to watch the behind the music. He was so, I asked him to do another rock person right after. He's like, can I have a different subject? He was just so like, please something not. I'm tired. I'm hearing.

You get this harm my soul. Sources VH1 behind the music, L.A. Times. Godgun and rock and roll by Ted Nuggen, American Song. songwriter.com. Texas Monthly, Reno, Gazette Journal, far out to magazine, S.F.GateGate, McClatchee, surge activism.org, uh, factrepublic.com and the morning, Dallas morning news. Man, great, like, how did you lose an election to Greg Abbott? Who ran against him?

I mean, I mean, if you, if he saw Ted Nugent sitting there, wouldn't you just be like, Hey, this guy's like, this is what this guy said. That fucking, that, that state sailed a while ago. I know, never. You saw Ted Cruz took off again. I mean, every time there's a, he's like, every time there's a storm, he's like, where's warm? What are you doing there? Literally, what the fuck is happening in Texas?

What are you doing? Jesus Christ. And I'm not saying California has its shit together. There are a lot of problems. Yeah. And I'm not saying, like Florida, you know, fucking not good. But Texas, what are you doing? Fucking, I know you're big, but...

I'm not that big. Hey, what's up, Dollheads? This is Gareth Reynolds from The Dollop, the podcast you're listening to. Hey, I've got some very exciting information. If you like movies and you're in the San Jose area, I made a movie. It's called Give It Up and it will be at the CineQuest Film Festival. you can go to Give ItUpfilm.com for tickets and information. It'll be March 15th is the main screening.

So go to Give It Upfilm.com. Also, if you like stand-up comedy, February 4th, I'll be in Spokane, February 5th, Bend, Oregon. Then I'll be in Portland, February 6th, and February 7th. Three shows that night. Then I'll be at Flappers and Burbank, February 21st, Bakersfield, February 27th, for two shows. I will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, April 19th, Tulsa, Oklahoma, April 21st. Bricktown Comedy in Oklahoma City, April 22nd, Dallas, Texas, April 23rd, Tyler, Texas, April 24th, finally.

Houston, April 25th, two shows, Austin at the Great Cap City, April 26th, and then San Antonio, April 28th, and Tucson, April 29th. Gareth Reynolds.com for tickets and information, but also if you want to go see my movie and you're the San Jose area, give it upfilm.com.