The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 735 - Amasa Stone - Live

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine rich guy Amasa StoneSOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSMint Mobile SQUARESPACE - Use OFFER CODE: DOLLOP to save 10%See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, Brett and every ready, buddy. You're listening to the Dolop! I realize I should have looked up this guy's name. Dave Anthony. We're in the intro. This is an American history podcast for each week. I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to that. A man, a real Bruce Springsteen type.

Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be. About. Woo! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Real Springsteen type. How many bandanas you got on you?

None. I don't know. 500. From the West Coast. We don't fucking care. You guys can have your words. What do you do with your hands after an oil change? We'll sing about a train or some shit.

When you do your oil change, what do you wipe your hands down with? I'll use rags. Same rag. I wipe my mouth. after I finish whatever the missus put in the lunch pail. You're like a billionaire. I live in a one-bedroom shanty. On a waterbed that doesn't have water anymore.

On a water bed with no more water. It's pretty flat. Just ask my granddaughter why we're falling apart. Ask your granddaughter? Yeah. Yeah. You want me to ask your granddaughter about your waterbed. What the fuck is going on in your house?

I've used this rag about a thousand times. Now I'm riding lots of little rhymes in my diary. What? It's got kittens on the front. Eighth grade. My name's Matilda. You're an eighth grade? Yeah.

Your name's Matilda? That's right. Jesus. Chris. Bruce has really fallen off. It's really falling off.

I'm a frog inside of an aquarium. What? I drink milk and have a thumb. I'm a freak of life. Wait. You're a frog

that drinks milk in an aquarium when you have a thumb? We just won the freaking Super Bowl. Now we're having roast beef on a car.

a roll it's lunchtime in Prague. Prague? I feel like you're just rhyming for the sake of rhyming and a lot of what you're saying doesn't make sense? Hey, I'm working at the Bayer Spy. This is the place to get the Best Buy's blue shirt.

What? No name tag. April 17th, 18, 18, 18, Now, I should have looked up how to say this guy's name. Amasa? Amasa? Amasa? Hey, whites. I got a yes.

I knew someone would know, because he's from around hereish. Amasa Stone Jr. was born in Charlton, Massachusetts. Home Canal. That stuff. He was the ninth of ten children. His parents were Amasa and Esther. And they lived on a farm and a massive work there and went to school. Usually they just do one or the other.

Sure. Right. At 17, he moved to Worcester, which is a town that says its name wrong, to apprentice as a carpenter and builder with his older brother, Daniel. That's exciting. That is. He was good at it and he was strong. He bought out his apprenticeship within two years. By 21, he was a foreman.

He went into business on his own building houses, and the first one, he was paid with a note from a manufacturing company. It's pretty sweet. Dear Master, that was so cool of you. We don't have the money. But here's a note. Here you go. Yeah, congratulations.

P.S. I don't know. We don't. No one's ever written P.S. before. First P.S. Hey. You're welcome. The first PS must have been weird.

Oh, yeah, who did that the first time? The fuck is this? What? P.S. Post-script, my friend. And then the company failed right after, so he didn't get any money. And then he's in, you know, dire straits. But he keeps on.

He doesn't stop. He's overseeing the building of homes and churches on his own. And in 1840, he starts working for his brother-in-law, William Howe. Howe had invented a unique, bridge trust that supported heavy loads over short spans. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm not that excited about it.

All right. Heavy loads over short spans. Okay. And they used it to build the first railroad bridge over the Connecticut River. Okay. So that's big. It's huge. Yeah.

It's awesome. Good for them. And then I'm also got a local businessman, Azariah Booty. That's... Nice. That's sort of not a good. good name. No, it is. A. Booty. To back him, and he bought the... Of course Booty begged him.

And he bought the patent rights to house trust for all of New England for $40. Seems low. It sounds like he licensed it for New England. Okay. So he's just getting paid a royalty, basically, for his bridge trust. Yeah. But that sounds low, but in today's money, that's $1.3 million. still sounds low. I'll be honest, for a fucking game-changing bridge trust. Didn't I say $40?

You said $40,000? Oh, $40,000. That makes way more sense. 40 seems terrible. Imagine if $40 is now $1.3. Well, I'm in. Wait, what are you doing? Trust me, I got this.

That's two haircuts. Have you seen this fly on cocaine up here? I love it. That fly is fucking ready to go. There's no way Luke didn't bring that in here. Maybe Luke turned into a fly. Oh, don't look around. You're not going to be happy.

Yeah, it's not so easy now, is it? Luke, do your magic. Okay, so Amasa gets married in 1842 to Julia Ann Gleeson. In 1845, Amasa became the construction superintendent of the New Haven Hartford Springfield Railroad, the N-H-H-S, N-H-S. The N-H-H-S. The N-H-E. Yeah, clearly.

But it was too much, and he resigned the next year. That year hurricane washed out a railroad bridge over the Connecticut River, and a ton of traffic went over the bridge, and they needed it rebuilt quick. So they hired a M-A-MASA, and he did it in 40 days. Whoa. Which no one thought was possible, and the railroad gave him a 35, $5,000 bonus. Whoa, that's like a million.

One million dollars in today's money. He dissolved the company with booty soon after and went into business with a new partner. Been there. Yeah, girl. Amasa was now New England's top railroad contractor. Huh, all right. So he's top. Okay.

Oh, wow. Finally. Picture a man from the 1850. 50s. Bald, facial hair. Looks like Bram Stoker was around. He has maybe some extra fingers. It's hard to tell.

But he wanted to go bigger and made a partnership with Frederick Harbocken, Stillman Witt. Abraham Lincoln, if he shaved and didn't wear the hat. To build the northern half of the Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati Railroad, which was begun in 1836, but it had been very problematic. And then in 1837, a panic hit financial panic.

And at one point, the owners to keep their charter from being revoked hired just a single worker with a shovel and a wheelbarrow to work on it. Wait, what is it you want me to do? You are going to build a railroad. Where's all the other fellas? We're counting on you. But you ain't got... It's nowhere near.

Completed. That's why we gave you a shovel. Harbach Stone and Witt took the project over and just to be paid in stock. And since they didn't take money, they got a higher than a normal fee. And the CCNC opened in February 1851, instant hit.

People loved it. Money rolling in. Okay. So Amasa now moves his family to Cleveland. And adjacent areas. His wife, Julia, son, Adelbert. Who is Kent named

just some guy? Hi, I'm Kent. Jesus Christ, Kent. Are you sure? Yep, that's it. So his wife, Julia, his son, Adelbert, and daughters are...

These names are absolutely fucking lewd. I mean, I'm trying to hang in there, but... Adelbert. Adelbert. Adelbert. Adelbert? I'll tell you what.

Adelbert, Adelbert. Neither one's making me go. I want to say Adelbert. May he? Adelbert is fucking. Fucking still dumb. Yeah. Adelbert.

And daughters, Clara and Flora, or Clara. And Flora. Or Flora. Stone became the superintendent of the CCNC, making $4,000 a year. Then they built the Cleveland, Painesville, and Ash Tubala Railroad in... You guys have gotten too comfortable. Ashtobula? You can't give me shit for that one, because that's...

As Tibula Railroad in 1852, Amasa is the director of the boards on both, and he's president of the CP&A. Amasa built a huge mansion on Euclid Avenue in an area that will be called Millionaire's Row. Oh, fuck. He oversaw construction. Oh, shit.

Jesus Christ. Wow. That's a fucking big house. Yeah, that is. What are you going to do with that? I mean, that, but by the way, by today's standards, that's nothing. It's nothing. I know.

But back then they were like, whoa, two bedrooms, two bath? Whoa. The outer walls were two feet wide with... Whoa, that is a brag. With an eight inch hollow space in the middle. What? I guess that's to keep it warmer, right? I would think.

Well, you've got to put something in there. No, you just hollow it out. Just hollow? Just eight inches? Perfect size for a man. Yeah, if you could get a thin guy in there. Yeah. We're not doing any sort of insulation.

We're putting a bunch of thin guys in there. Hello? Quiet, please. That was not part of the job. Hello. Stop it now. It's actually very cold in here. I understand it's not great right now.

I'm very cold. Are you going to insulate the house? In about 10 days you won't hear anything anymore. Hello? Oh, my God. Are you having coffee? I would murder for some coffee. What are you guys talking about it there?

Hello? Hello? Don't answer. I can hear you, though. Your walls are very thin. You built two thin walls with a room for a man in between. We're trying to have dinner. Oh, what are you having?

Let's play a game. Last meal, you got to pick. And only one type. You can't say Mexican with pizza. I have a different idea. Let's play hide and seek and you hide. Oh, I can't go very far. These walls are thin.

I'll go first. I think just pizza and Pepsi. I'd do pizza and Pepsi, but I'd want an extra large pizza half veggie. I don't think there's Pepsi yet. Oh, all right, I just have the pizza. What would you have? What would you have?

What would be your last meal? What would you have for your last meal? What would your last meal be? Hello? If you're not careful, I'll tell you another one that I'd have. I'd have another one. Chicken tacos. No, egg rolls.

You know, I know I'm the guy who said you can't combine. I would have chicken tacos with egg rolls. and I put the egg rolls inside the tacos. How about that? I know you're in there and even if you're not, I won't stop talking. Eventually you will. I'd like to meet a woman in here for a drink.

The whole plan is just to have you die in there. I ate a huge meal before I came in here. Which would make you think I wouldn't want to talk about last meal so much. Where are you going to go do your business? I'm doing my business. I'm doing all of it right here. I've even treated myself to a little special time. That's right.

Those weren't Knox. Okay. It'll be easier to wallpaper now. It was modern with running water, gas, fixtures, and central heating. It was an Italian villa style. He founded the Union Club in Cleveland, which was for Cleveland's elite. It still is, apparently.

Ex-members include two presidents. He built the Michigan Southern Road, linked it with the CP&A Railroad. He and others built the short but vital Cleveland and Newburgh line for industry. He invited in a mill, and the Western Union Telegraph Company became director of several banks

and president of the Second National Bank, hugely influential in the area. Right. A magnate. Yes. And after this, by the Civil War, Amaso was the big Cleveland mover and shaker, and he was on the board or president of several railroads banks. He was an abolitionist.

Okay. He's still a rich prick, but yeah. Yeah, he still is son of it. I mean, he was walling humans and, like, he's not... Excuse me. I don't care for the way you said that. You were walled off to die. I can leave when I choose to.

Okay. I like it in here. He supported the election of Abraham Lincoln at 1860, and then Lincoln turned to Amasa for help with military supply and transportation. Most of his railroads were used to support the union, and it made Amasa a millionaire. Ah, war profiteering.

Nice. Yeah. Imagine. Amasa did help with relief funds for the families of local volunteers, and he raised money to recruit more soldiers during the war. He was only upset with the union when his son went to fight.

What'd you say? I'm behind this painting. Okay, all right. Thank you. You should have been dead a long fucking time ago. Well, I've got news for you. I found some bread. I want a pet.

I want a bird. I want to have a bird in here with me. You are the pet. I deserve a bird. No, you don't. I just. deserve a tiny bird. Alfie.

So I'm going to name it. No. No matter if it's a boy or a girl. Shut up. But I'll have a fun time figuring out. Nobody will. Nobody's having a fun time. You're a tedious little man stuck in a wall.

You're like the anti-Houdini. Just sitting in your little fucking wall space. Everybody is annoyed by you. well your home seems pretty warm Amasa wanted Adalbert to help run his empire and wanted him to go to Yale and study engineering but weeks after the war ended Amasa got word that his son had died

not in the war at Yale Jesus that's a fucking roller coaster fortunately his son passed away those goddamn troops I can't believe it They killed him. They killed my only boy. It was at Yale. Ah, what?

What was he over there for? Wasn't he in the war? It was enjoying books and whatnot. Wait, what? Oh, those goddamn Yaleies? Yes. I'm going to tell him that they, he was killed by the enemy. That's fine.

Thank you. The enemy is Harvard. Oh, God. My boy was killed by Harvard during the Civil War. He actually drowned in the Connecticut River. while on a field trip and he had decided to go swimming and got cramps got cramps if he got cramps that was the first time someone swam too close to eating that's right ah from now on we will wait 45 minutes every time a child swims then we will remind them no 45 minutes is how long you'll wait

that's when it goes down if only there had been a bridge with a special trust underneath it excuse me yeah hello what the fuck are you talking about I don't know most of my days are spent with a wall pal

I'm not really good out anymore so a lot of people believe Amasa never recovered from the death of his son a couple years later in October 1867 Amasa was riding through Cleveland's Public Square and he was in a carriage with a banker and then the carriage had a gutter and the seat they were sitting on slid backwards

and they were both thrown to the ground and Amass was severely injured What kind of strut? What's... It's a special feature. What? Oh, did you want me to put that down with like a screw or a nail or something? I didn't know. Jesus Christ, we hit a bump, but we both almost died.

Sorry about that. Amasa hit the back of his head. Jesus. And for the rest of his life, he would be in pain and walk with a serious limp. Oh, fuck. Now, he is large with a big old mustache and a medium-sized beard. Balding. He's large?

He's combed back. Yeah, he's actually a big boy. He's tall. Yeah, he was tall. He was a big guy. Okay. Amasa was known as one of the top wooden bridge builders in the United States. That's a Tinder profile.

Ladies love a man who works with wood. But railroads were replacing wooden bridges with iron and stone ones. And for a Lakeshore Railroad Iron Bridge, he insisted on using a specific truss. And an engineer told him the beams were inadequate for the length of the span. Right. We're all following. He fired the engineer. Smart. Yep. Get him out of it. You do.

Yep. And then you do it. And then the chief engineer then resigned instead of building it. Yeah. That's the Monday morning massacre. So Amasa got an engineer who would do it his way. That's perfect. The right way. Robert Bork. Okay. He, Amasa later called the design, quote, experimental. It was an experimental train.

I didn't realize people were going to be on it, experimenting upon it. It was a goof. We were having a larf. Well, he got it built. Yep. He also went on to help build the Union Depot. He incorporated the Northern Ohio Fair Association. He founded the Union Steel Screw Company.

He established the home for the age, Protestant gentle women. That is one title. The Age Protestant. Home for the aged Protestant gentle women. Get the fuck out of here, you Catholic. This home ain't for you. Go get in the mud. You check every box, but you're not gentle.

Fuck you. You're not, see? Well, just because you told me some bad news. I'm sorry. It was a test. Well, I'd like to come back in. Now you're out, you're a Catholic whore. But I'm a Protestant.

Go get in the mud. Where you believe. long, Catholic woman. This is for Protestant, gentle whistle. So have you been sending all the Catholics to the mud? Yes. It's starting to change the vibe of the outside of this area. Well, we'll get more mud.

Well, why don't you just tell them no? Then they can go figure out what their next step is. No! Well, we've really got a lot of Catholic women out there in the mud and they're starting to wrestle. That's wonderful news. No, it's not. It's the wrestling out there, and I don't know. A crowd of men have gathered a...

It's really not the vibe we're going for. This is for Protestant, gentle women who are old. Charge a cover. Profit. Look, we're really trying to do something different, and I don't know if we should have Catholic women wrestling out there. Catholic women make the best mud freaks. You know what?

This is why my wife said to not get into business with you, and I really didn't even let me guess. Go outside, get in the mud. Get in the mud, you son of a bitch. All right, okay. His daughter, Clara, married in 1874, and he got a son-in-law

to fill in for the part of his now dead son. Oh, that's cool. I bet that was cool. That's a... Oh, yeah, very casual. I love the wedding photographer. Now, pretend your hips out of socket and you're going to bash it back in.

There we are. Good, good, good, good. Pretend if you were a mermaid, but you're not on the beach on your side, you're standing. And you've just gotten your old fresh legs, lady. There you are, Clara. Perfect. All right, tomorrow we'll do some with your husband.

But until then, hurt your ribs. There we are. Now get in the mud. No, no, no, sorry, sorry, no. Not today. No. Sorry. My best.

Beautiful. Beautiful. You're wonderful. Good. I'd like to see you in the mud. So she marries John Hay. So Hay was a writer, diplomat, and secretary to Abraham Lincoln. Whoa.

You'll stay late tonight. Lose the coat. This war is just not as civil as I hoped it would be. Thirsty? Yes. Take some notes for me Go ahead What's my wife's name again?

Let's go with Helen I don't believe it is I almost said Martha Hold on, we'll get there Betty Mary Todd The sad one Oh my kids are dead

Shut up Get in the mud No come on Come on Stop Larry the cable guying this You are 100% gonna get a show called

Get in the Mud All right Dave Cameron Diaz She came out of the spotlight For a little while But she's back What do you think Do we let her back into Hollywood

Or is she gonna get in that mud We're brought to you by Zinn Zins is a pure rush of nicotine So Amasa built The young couple A mansion next door Sad Telling

Hey you need someone to get inside of that wall I have a baby in here with me now. I've had a boy. How? How what? How did you have a baby? With my wife, fool.

Okay. What? She passed away, though, 15 years ago. How do you have a baby then? Well, that's a fair question. When she passed away, my son ended up meeting someone, too. And they had a baby. It's a grandchild.

It's my grandkid. It's my grand kid in here. There's a bunch of us. So if you need someone to go in their walls to insulate it, that'd be fine. We're a whole flock in here now. I'm an old man. Amasa told the neighbors he was, quote, building a barn for his hay.

Well, have a good life. His name's John Hay, get it? He's funny. Yeah, it's very funny. I'm sure he was walking out and telling everyone that line. A building it for that. Uh-huh. Amasa.

Hey, Frank! Yeah. Building a barn for hay! Yeah, that's normal. Don't you dare say it to me. If you fucking tell me I'm not going to. Get my hay. No, what?

It's terrible. His sequel's awful. On Disney 2. Get me hay! Jesus, this is bad. Hay increased Amasa's government connections. His daughter, Flora, then married rising industrial. Samuel Mather.

Outside of his small circle of family, Amasa was known as a real son of a bitch. Okay. Business associates and friends found him cold, stern, and unapproachable. He was rich. Yeah. Well, other rich guys don't like him. He was really rich.

A historian, quote, almost everybody feared stones, arbitrary ways, his harsh temper, and his biting tongue. Amasa was an early investor in Rockefeller's standard oil company buying 500 shares. Yeah, that'll be good. Then as director of the Lakeshore Railroad, he gave Rockefeller a series of rebates, which led to standard oil dominating the oil industry. If you can imagine a company giving money to another, oh my God, that's what's happening with AI.

Well, except oil's real. We're going to get killed now. Dave, we're going to get killed anyway. He was on the standard oil board, but he was very irritated that Rockefeller, a guy 20 years younger, was calling the shots. So Amasa was the rich guy in Cleveland worth $6 million, and Rockefeller was younger than most of the other robber barons and smarter, it seems. He was also new to this, and not many actually knew his name. Papers would call him Rockefeller or Rock A Feller. and again, he seemed

like no one really liked Amasa. One writer called Amasa dictatorial. A big novelist wrote a portrait of him using the name Aaron Grimstone. What? Wait, the writer did. Yeah.

Okay. He's calling him Aaron Grimstone. He's like, you motherfucker. Another person said, quote, the richest man in Cleveland and he'll have the smallest funeral. Dude, I'm the major musk vibes. Major.

But Amasa always acted as he was above Rockefeller, and all the other guys on the board treated Rockefeller with respect, and like he was smart. And then in 1872, Rockefeller approached the Second National Bank for a big loan. He wanted rapid expansion, but Amasa was the director of the bank, and he was thinking we should go slow. And because Rockefeller was younger,

Amasa expected him to be humble, and just kind of beg a little bit. Just kind of beg a little bit. Come on, kiss the glove. Come on. Come on. Come on. You know you want it. Come to Amasa. Say please, please, please.

And Rockefeller did not. And so Amasa got really pissed, and he opposed the loan. And then they argued, and Rockefeller went straight to the board to make his case. Quote, Rockefeller spoke with an authority born of his mastery of every detail of the oil business, answering stone with relentless facts and arguments. Amasa began to raise his voice. And then finally he pounded on the table. Get in the mud.

Get in the mud. If you get in the mud, you get the loan. The loan is somewhere deep in the mud. Dig around like it's doubled air. And then Amasa had a stroke of genius. Quote, gentlemen, I am willing to. to arbitrate this dispute. Let Mr. Rockefeller

and my safe lay our views in detail before two stockholders, Henry Payne and Stillman Witt. So he wants to shark tank it. Yeah, kind of.

I think he well he thinks these guys owe him a little bit. So he's like, I'll pick two guys. Yeah, that'll fancy him. But Rockefeller's far more compelling and Well, yeah. And he's like, I'll abide by the judgment.

Rockefeller is? Yeah, no, they both do. But Amasa's like, I'll abide by it. But these two guys kind of, they idolize Amasa. Right. He's the big man in town. Right. And Rockefeller's like, yeah, sure.

Because he knows he's right. And he was. The four guys meet, and Rockefeller and Amasa each give their presentations. And then the two guys start asking questions. And as they're asking questions, it becomes pretty clear that their favorite Rockefeller. And a master says, quote, gentlemen, remember who appointed you as arbitrators?

Might I remind you? You owe me everything? Oh, gentlemen. Who owns the mud? We're just listening to both sides. We told you that's what we do. Rockefeller seems a little more prepared, if I may.

Okay? Sit and sit, sit, sit down. Bite your face off. What do you mean? But stop it. But it bite your fucking face-stop. Amasa. You fucking shit.

You stop it. You little fucking shit. Look, you're not helping your case at all. You fucking... Fuck, you arbitrating little fuck bag. You stop it now. That's it. We are going to pick Rockefeller if you keep going like...

In the mud! No, nobody's getting in the goddamn... First of all, there's not even mud near here. Go in the wall of my house! What? What? In the wall! What do you mean?

I'm my castle where you will die! What? Get in the wall of your house. What are you in the wall of your house? even talk. Is there anyone in the house walls? I rest my case. What the fuck? You didn't even say anything. I did. Let's just do what I want. God damn it. Okay. All right. Look, look. Stop making that noise and let Rockefeller pitch. Stop it. Amasa. Amasa. Amasa. Amasa. Amasa.

I richer than you. Okay. Well, I think we'll take a minute and we will render our decision shortly. Thank you. You're very welcome. This was a lot of fun. And then they're in the waiting room. We both lost our cool back there a little bit. So both the arbitrators agree with Rockefeller and Amasa is furious and he storms out.

And after this, their relationship rapidly deteriorated. But a few weeks later, Amasa asks for an extension because he missed an option to buy more stock. in standard oil. That's so funny. Who does he have to ask, Rockefeller? Yeah. Hey, could you...

I goofed. I forgot we had 30 days in this one, not 31. So, mind if I grab another few. How you been, by the way? How crazy was that back there at that pitch? That was wild. Congratulations again. That was awesome how you closed that deal.

You stabbed the arbitrators. Oh, no, no. Well, no. Well, I impaled one of them. And then I did stab the other one. But gosh, it's so good to see you. Have you gained weight? You look fatter.

No. I would love to buy some more of those shares. No. Come here. No. Come on. I love you. I don't love you.

I think we should restart. Let's be best friends. No. Here we are together forever. Two best friends doing it together. Well, it doesn't matter. I have a lot of money too. Can I buy some more shares?

No. They're called shares because you're not supposed to hoard them. Let some of the other fellas have some, would you? Other people... There's enough mud in this trough for all the piggies, dickwad. Come on now. So Rockefeller says no and Amasa completely loses his shit. And he gets so pissed off that he sells all his stock.

He thinks it's going to... He thinks it's going to hurt the company if he sells all the stock. Well, I sold all the stock I just wanted more of. Ha ha! Fuck you. Bingo. But it doesn't hurt Rockefeller because other guys just immediately wanted to buy it. Can I have that stock back?

No. Please. No. Give me the 500 shares from before. No. Let me marry into your family. Well, there's a guy in the wall. Wait.

And then there's a bunch of mud ladies. In your wall? Who am I? You're not the guy with a mud family in the wall. That's me. Unless you and I have a lot more weird shit. common than I could have ever known about. I'm doing role play, sorry.

Oh, okay. Well, you freak me out there for a minute. Because I have three generations of one guy living in my walls. And let me tell you, I never put the fire on. So in December 29th, 1876, there is a blizzard. and I'm quite warm in my home Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey

It's freezing in the walls I don't think we're all gonna make it You were supposed to have died 30 fucking years ago We're gonna have to start eating some of the other family Unless you let us out Good! We mean good We're freezing in here man

Eat each other just shut the fuck up I'll tell you one, all right, all right, let's just do this to pass the time. Last meal and which relative would you make it out of? I do uncle pasta. Okay. What about you? I'm not doing this.

Come on, it'll pass the time. No. Come on, it'll be fun. It's not fun. Ah. I should have put you in the mud. Encheladad. So there's a blizzard.

A train leaves Erie, Pennsylvania. headed for Cleveland. Hilarious. I mean, please. We've been there. A train left Erie, Pennsylvania. Fuck yeah. Yeah, Erie!

Best place to leave on a train. Get the fuck out of there. Our town should be called creepy. So because of all the snow from the blizzard, they have two locomotives going. So it's crossing over the bridge. and, oh, this is the exact same bridge that Amasa fired the engineer to build it.

Now, wait a minute. They're going to bridge over the river Quayor or whatever? Oh, no. And then the train... It does look a little toothpicky. Then the train engineer hears a crack. And he feels the train drop a bit. And he realizes the bridge is collapsing.

So he opens the throttle up. Smart. And that locomotive makes it. He's like the Sully. But the connection between the rest of the train snapped. But he makes it. He's fine. That's awesome.

It's all the matters. Well, that was close. Holy shit. I'm fucking lucky as hell. That's a lot of dead folk down yonder. Gareth the Dalop is brought to you by him's sexual health. Oogie D. is a lot more common than guys think millions, millions of guys are dealing with it.

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And when you're ready to launch, you use hovercode dollop to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. The collapse of the bridge was, quote, slow and piecemeal. Just like you want it. Yeah, what? It's like a mission impossible. The cars fell on top of each other. and all around. And then the top of the bridge fell on top of the cars.

And then more train cars fell on top of that. What, another train came? And then cars were smashing into each other. Like, a sleeper car landed right side up. Oh, not the sleeper car. You know, I'm having a weird moment. Then another sleeper car landed on top of that and crushed it, killing most people inside.

Now, the water is six feet deep and covered it eight inches of ice. and the last car hits and sticks and then water and ice and snow rushed in and everyone in that car died. Wow, so uh, boy, that fucking, the head engineer was like, oh shit. That was lucky.

Now they could hear the crash at the nearest station, which was just 100 yards away and in a town. And alarms go off and rescuers rush to the crash. People bring axes with them to free passengers. And those who didn't die from the crash now had another problem. The cars had coal and kerosene heating stoves and oil lamps. Oh, my God. So fires break out.

And by the time the rescuers get there, the fires are burning pretty good. Pretty good. The ash tubula fire chief was an alcoholic. Yeah, of course you're celebrating. I can't go down there. I'll combust. Trust me, I'm pretty much kerosene right now myself.

So I don't know how we'll put those fires out. Everybody piss. If we do it enough, if we dig deep enough and we all piss at the same time, there's a good chance that we can put out all those train fires. Hey, let's sing. Let's sing?

Yeah. Looking down over the Longbad Ridge. You got. I don't wonder who built this bridge. Not Rockefeller. His bridge is a stellar. Don't you test me with it? So the fire chief...

It'd be great to cut the set-up song at the beginning. People would be like, the fuck is happening. So the fire chief, besides being an alcoholic, he's really not great at the job when he's sober. That's why I drink. His fire engines arrived first, but he gave no orders to fight the fire. Hold. All right.

Everybody gossip. We'll figure this out. And he turned and told a local that it was no use at this point. It's pointless at this point. It's just for the gram. This is all just for the gram. Everything's for the gram. But it was clear people were alive and in there.

So he's what? He's like, don't worry. A person begged him to put water on the fire, but he said, nah. No! So townspeople tried to put out the fire with buckets of water. Oh, my God. And the train cars are made of wood. Oh, my God.

So the fire is now melting the ice, and more cars are going into the icy water. People died from the crash, then they died from the freezing water, and they died from the fires, or they died from both or all. Or more trains falling on? Oh, my God. So it is a full-on blizzard-trained fire-drown fuck. That's exactly what the New York Times headline was.

Of a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the don't turn that way, best time of the year. No, only face this way. Holy jolly of a happy. Don't look that way as a Christmas. That don't look that way. that man's on fire, that man's a skeleton and this year

stick the halls with, oh my God, no, turn around. Some passengers who managed to get out of the wreck drowned in the river. Now the town has no hospital. What the fuck? By the way, get used to that.

Yeah, just like you will. There's a, there's a 2026 catchphrase. Now, the town had no hospital, but they didn't need one. Because telehealth was no longer allowed. So they put the injured wherever they could A train station, hotel, and people's homes Train station? Excuse me, could you try harder?

I understand some people are going to hotels I'd really rather not be at the train station I mean I just went through a lot of trauma from the train This is kind of a fucked up place to put someone who's train Just fell in a fire ice We're gonna put you in the bridge guard station I don't want to be near a bridge or a train station I've just been through a lot.

I just watched a lot of fellow passengers perish in front of me. Please just could you put me in one of the hotels or a tavern or somewhere? What about a train car? No, I don't want to be in a goddamn train car. Just been through hell. Please, try harder. I need you, man. Oh, mud!

No, no, no, no. Oh, shit, it's you. The town had ten doctors. By midnight, everyone who lived was out of the wreck. And then the thieves came. Stealing from the dead and wounded. Yeah. You're not going to use that watch.

Yes. But we shouldn't have possessions. There should be nothing. Nothing should have value. Only oranges. That was bug-fuck crazy. Of course thieves are going to come. If you have rich and poor,

are going to take dead people's watches. In the morning, some came... By the way, no way those watches are working. They might work. No, these are not swatches. In the morning, people came and looted the train, and the mayor finally put guards around the area. 159 passengers, only eight were not injured.

About 92 died. The exact amount is not known, because passengers were from all over the country, and they didn't know who was there and like who was on it. Wow. They thought about 22 people couldn't be IDed, but a lot of that was, there were just parts,

so they couldn't know. That's terrible. It's hard. It's a puzzle situation. No. And puzzles are hard. Have you ever done a puzzle when it's all red? Where do I put the...

It's hard. I definitely think we're missing a piece. Hold up the box again? Oh, no. That's not how she looks. at all. She did not have four legs. What is this?

Yes, she did. Of course she did. Yeah, you're right. Three bodies were never claimed. Holy fuck. An Ashtabula County Coroner's inquest was held. Now, they didn't have a coroner, so the local judge picked six guys to be on the jury. Wait, what?

They didn't have a corner. They didn't have a corner, so they made a jury? Yeah, they did a court. like figure out what happened. To piece it together. They're like, yo, janitor, you guy who trims hedges. What are you, a banker, Frank? Yep, a Franker.

A fire chief. Ah, fuck, I fucked that one up. Yep. I'll have a lot of insights. But I am an alcoholic. Oh, we know. Oh. The jury concluded the bridge was poorly designed.

All right, good shit, idiots. Get out. Your Honor, we've decided that this bridge sucked legally. Where the jury find the bridge shit? I mean, the jury was absolute shit. The braces were not strong enough. The trust was not right for the length.

It was under-designed, and on top of that, it was poorly built. Your Honor, trains are super heavy. Medically speaking. The train is an extremely heavy item. Now, the bridge, on the other hand, was not big. The train was bigger than the bridge. Some parts had been put in the wrong places. The parts had been sort of put in the wrong places.

Shims were used to make up for parts being too short. Some of the shims were... By the way, don't drive through America, if that freaks you out. If that bothers you, I'd like to sell you a bridge to anywhere. We are held together by styrofoam in prayers, ladies and gentlemen. We are... I'm looking at a highway bridge and going, well, that's styrofoam.

Yeah, the amount of times you're like, oh, God, some guys standing on a bridge with an American flag while you're like, that bridge is held together by packaging. Thick parts were used where thin parts were needed and vice versa. I love hearing a juror say this. Thick parts where thin parts should be. Thin parts where thick parts should be. The whole bridge was an upside-downy nightmare factory, sir.

And then on top of that, bridge inspectors did not do their job. They did not note the problems with the bridge or how much it was coming apart over time. Also, the self-extinguishing stoves were required by law, and the train did not have them. Self-extinguishing stoves were not on there. Yes, they would automatically go out when the, train crashed.

What a crazy fucking, okay. I think it's called the flippity-do. This is a flippity-do stove. We had a big flippity-do out there. These are all air friars. And then, of course, the fire chief was shit. Oh, yeah. Now, Amasa was named as responsible for the bridge design.

And then the state legislature appointed a committee to investigate. There's is a lot more thorough than the six random guys in the town. The chief engineer told them, quote, this is no bridge of mine, that's the president's bridge. The president's bridge? There's another railroad. Oh, okay, right, right.

A company lawyer said that the bridge had been as made as strong as possible, and, quote, if God saw fit to lower the temperature, the company could not control his actions, and hence we're clearly not liable for the results. Sue God. God made... Would someone for the love of him, sue him?

God made it cold and you want to blame me? Amasa versus God. The defense calls to the witness stand, God. Well, fuck. Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, you? I always love that when I'm on a witness stand. How many times do you want a witness stand?

How many times do you want a witness? It's a lot. You guys are really fucking annoying. Jesus. God. Sorry. A lot of our curses are about... It's not great what's happening. Jesus cry.

What about just a good old-fashioned shit? All right. We'll take a quick recess. All right. No. Oh, sorry. We're in another one of our classic word play pickles. God and the attorney will be right back. Lightning boat!

Inspectors found misplaced struts, braces not tied together at imperfect bearings. Now, Amasa strongly denies there were any design or construction flaws. The best. The rich are the best. First, he said, the crash happened because one of the locomotives derailed due to a loose rail. Bingo. The railroad company tossed out the possibility that a tornado would hit the bridge. Does anyone stop to think about that?

a low tornado an under the bridge tornado it's funny to say that it is the locomotives that the train car derailed because the entire bridge collapsed so it's like wouldn't that just take the train off he's like and then the train swung into the bridge after it derailed and uh

could you could you say what you mean by woof oh just that when I did this in the mirror nobody was looking at me. So the caboose hit it so hard at a velocity of that of a wrecking ball right into the bridge which was perfectly designed.

Everything was perfect up to code. Trust me. Trust me. I recognize a lot of people have passed. This is quite a serious thing. But you keep smiling. Oh, beautiful for space. It turns out

Amasa had used his Cleveland rolling mill for most of the materials to build it, and his brother ran the mill, and the casings were not to spec that his brother had made. The Ohio General Assembly then questioned Amasa in his home, which they had to do because he was sick. He did it. He did it. If you can hear me in there, he did it all. He's a bad, bad man. He's a terrible man. I'm sorry, I have wall elves. I'm not an elf. I was putting here for

insulation. No. I'm 91 years old. Why would I? He made me eat my grandkids. Why would I do that? He was obsessed with what my last meal would be. He never left me alone about it. It's just so ridiculous.

So I've had a big family in here and we were forced to eat some of them. Okay. When it got cold. No one's really enjoying. And he laughed at us, he did. But while we're in here, I guess maybe we open it up, everyone's last meal.

What would it be? And you can only take one nationalities cuisine and not mix it. Like you couldn't do fries in pizza and make it a sandwich. That's weird. I would like fries and pizza as a sandwich. Well, I suppose just for you, we can do. do it. That sounds pretty good too. Oh, it's good to laugh.

It's very good to laugh. Burthing for food. Oh, go ahead. Yeah, could you just, I'm going to do this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Let me know if you need anything. Okay, thanks. How fucking long are you going to live? More than a feeling. I'm just going to do some cleaning up in here. When I feel like, I'm going to do.

barrier. I got a free land. Amasa said the bridge was built stronger than needed and that he left before it had been finished and that contractors gave him, quote, considerable trouble. They hired a guy who, quote,

thinks, he thinks, never put together an iron bridge before. Well, I think we've got our murderer. He installed the brace horizontal instead of vertical and that the first engineer was fired because he was bad at his job.

The engineer Amasa hired, who agreed to build it that way, had inspected it 10 days before the accident, but he'd just not gone down low enough to look up and see... Oh, fuck. I mean, it was coming apart. Oh, my God. So days after that engineer turned in his resignation,

but the railroad refused it, so he killed himself. Many people said it was the right thing to do, but the wrong guy had done it. Wait, many... That's an argument! Wait a minute. Many people said that was the right thing to do, but the wrong guy did it.

Yep. Okay, sure. He's like a Boeing whistleblower. Others said the guy had been murdered. So he is a Boeing whistleblower. Two separate autopsies a year later would also say he had been murdered, but the reports were not released. That's classic. Classic.

It was all on a masa, though. One reporter said, quote, designed this structure and dictated the drawing of the plans and erection of the bridge without the approval from any competent engineer against the protest of a man who made the drawings under Mr. Stone's direction, assuming the sole and entire responsibility himself. So he had no fucking clue what he was doing, really. Not really, no. Yeah, and he was just like talking to a guy just like, and then, I don't know, paste it together

with branches. We should get lunch. So Amasa is now a pariah and, uh, He runs off to Europe. So nothing happens. He just goes to Europe. Yeah, basically. This fucking, these motherfuckers.

Oh, sweet baby, Dave. Listen, you know how news is. We're basically a news show, and it's overwhelming. Yeah. But this is different. News is nonstop. It's coming at you all the time. You know what it's like living in this day and age.

I do. I live here. One hour, you're talking about one thing. The next hour, you've completely forgotten about that thing, because your brain cannot catch up. You know, we need, Gareth? Say it. A podcast.

Yes. That is not panic-inducing. It slows things down. Yes. I'm talking about stateside with Kai and... Carter, that's exactly what I was going to say. It's a Guardian podcast. State Side with Kai and Carter airs three times per week

because there's always something to discuss. Kai and Carter get access to the Guardian's resources in the U.S. And reporters around the world, and David, they deliver the most relevant information right to you. We should say it's journalists, Kai Wright, and Carter Sherman. But we're talking global content across news, international coverage, climate, culture, sports, lifestyle, fashion, wellness. And they're not a billionaire owned over there at The Guardian, Dave, which is something you and I can get behind. I like that. So, Kai and Carter wrestle with all the questions we have, what's going on in the world.

So listen, wherever you get your podcast or watch on YouTube, state side with Kai. Carter. So people, for years, people would say that he should kill himself, like they would tell him to kill himself. Well, it doesn't look like that's what he's up to. Looks like he's living himself. The Ohio Assembly

Committee writes a bill for the state's first bridge design code and frequent regular inspections by civil engineers. But the legislature didn't pass the bill. Sure. It's so cool.

It's out at all. It's still. vastly different. Yeah, always. And then time passed and nothing changed. Amasa never recovered from the bridge disaster. Oh, really? Ah, um, the vapors. Oh, uh, pour more money on me.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. My skin burns. The guilt. Sometimes I hear the screams that I wasn't there to be around. It's hell. Tom, come to bed. Now that was on top of never coming from the death of his son. And while he was in Europe, strikes breakout on the railroads,

including his Lakeshore Railroad and his son-in-law, John Hay, writes, quote, For those of you listening, Will Forte, age 88. With an animal on his face. For those of you listening, remember the guy who McCauley Culkin thought was the murderer next door and home alone? Him. So John Hay wrote, quote, Since last week the country has been at the mercy of the mob.

The town is full of thieves and tramps waiting and hoping for a riot, but not daring to begin it themselves. So guys on strike. Yeah, so workers being, yeah, furious. They want food. Amosal returned with the plan to be a benefactor and buy back the public's love. So good. Wouldn't it be nice if they tried, if ours tried to do that?

Like there was that era where they were just like, we're really into philanthropy and everyone's like, you're great. Instead, ours are just like, we should probably move to Venus. Could you fucking, like, build some houses for people? No. No.

No. In 1880, he offered half a million dollars to Western Reserve College in Hudson, Ohio. His one condition was that the college moved to Cleveland. What the fuck? Can you imagine being on the freeway behind that one?

Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Wide load isn't just saying a... What are they doing? Hey, college has got to pull over if there's more than five cars! We're moving to college. Some of the students are still in there.

I don't know. I don't know. Honey, I'm going to be a little late. I guess they're moving a university to Cleveland, So I am right behind this thing. Makes me miss a funeral. This is nuts. And other Clevelanders needed to provide grounds for the campus. So he's saying that he's going to give money to the college,

but the college has to move and then someone's got to give him the land. They better work that out first. All right, so where are we putting it? Not sure. I don't know. I don't know. But wait if you find somewhere soon. You know, there's a city right next to here named after my friend Kent.

And he wanted to change the name of the college to Adelbert College of Western Reserve University. Catchy. Oh, and he wanted to name a majority of the trustees on the board. Oh, and he wanted to oversee construction of the university. Oh, yeah, that's good. It'll collapse. And he got the land. Wow. as did Leonard Case Jr.

who was to build an adjacent college. So Case wanted the western half of the land. So he told Amasa, he wanted the eastern part, because he knew Amasa was such a dick, he would demand it. And Amasa did, and Case got the eastern part like he wanted. Wow. I can't believe he pulled that. Nice try, dickhead.

That's my area. All right. this was the foundation for what ultimately became known as University Circle. Wow. Amasa resigned from the Lakeshore Railroad Board after it was absorbed by Vanderbilt's Railroad Empire. He could not, quote, withstand the transfer of major command decisions from Cleveland to the Vanderbilt offices in New York City. Strikes at Boke broken out at the Cleveland Rolling Mill in 1882 and several Midwestern steel companies, that he was involved in had failed.

Three of Amasa's businesses just in the first three months of 1883 failed. This was in the middle of a financial panic, contraction, and high unemployment, so naturally, Amasa blamed, quote, the unraisableness of men who are disposed to control capital and demand 30% more for their work

than that paid by Eastern Mills. Yes, fucking labor. Wow. You fucks. Pigs. You fucking animal. Look at how rich she is. You ruined the rich people!

Look at how rich that guy for sure is. Yeah, so he blames labor and just ignored the fact that there was a depression happening. And then his health completely broke down. He had stomach ulcers that kept him awake at night. Fuck, yeah, suffer, baby. What have you been eating? What have you eaten? Just little tacks and rocks and dirt.

It's a little bit of people. You should probably drink some more milk. I will miss milk the most. I don't. We don't have a cow in here. I still don't care. I mean, the crazy thing is, it's been so long. It's been skinny cow.

Now a hundred years, and I don't give too fucks. Can you believe I can't die? Yes. It's the worst thing that's ever happened. I've got to be honest. Amazing great. Have you passed? Oh.

Amasa was just getting two hours of sleep at night. What's the matter? Amasa, come to wall. You're tired, baby. He wrote to... Put a little hole in the wall. I put you right to bed, baby girl. He wrote...

Do you hate me? Yes. It's hard to tell. Yes. He said such a will they... such a will they, a wall they won't they? He wrote to his son and La John Haye quote, I have not

been to my office in some time. Nervous frustration seemed to be my first misfortune and sleeplessness has followed. Biographer Patricia O'Toole said he was severely depressed. His daughter Clara and Hay were in Europe and he wrote to Hay constantly, quote, his ambivalent

letters full of muffled cries for help and he asked Hay to cut short his trip and come home, but Hay said nope. After another night of no sleep. He took his revolver into the bathroom and killed himself by shooting himself through the heart. Oh, shit.

So, he left no suicide note. He might have CTE. Yeah. His upper body fell into the tub. Mark Twain wrote of that quote, apparently nothing pleases the Almighty like the picturesque.

Wow. Jesus Christ. I didn't know he was on Twitter. Good people don't make fun of people who died. Mark Twain's like, really, bitch? Well, that is true unless they're really rich. Then you mock them physically. Like, yeah, that's like, people are like, look,

I know Elon Musk has a funny body, but leave him alone. No. No, I won't. No, absolutely not. To his dying day, a moss was adamant that there were no flaws in the bridges decided, instruction. His widow and daughter spent a lot of money trying to redeem his reputation.

Two years after the death, they donated a huge stained glass window to the restored sanctuary of Old Stone Church, which had been destroyed after the fire of 1884. The window was named after Amasa. In 1910, they paid for the Amasa Stone Chapel on the campus of Western Reserve College. June 23rd. They didn't really try that hard. No. They just got a window in a fucking bell tower.

And they're like, all right, everybody like him again? Now, later. On July 23rd, 1901, his 24-year-old grandson, his grandson was Alderbert's Delstone, and he fell to his death from an open window. He went to the window on a hot night to get some air, sat down, and fell asleep, and then fell. What the fuck? What the fuck? Air conditioning used to be so much more dangerous.

What? He just sat down. He was at Yale for homecoming and died a quarter mile from where his uncle had died. In 2001, the two autopsy reports saying the engineer had been murdered were discovered. Oh, my God. What? Why 2001? I don't know.

I don't know. Someone going through fucking old. They were just trying to get us off the 9-11 fucking problem. Like, steel doesn't melt at this heat. Ahoyah! We made a big discovery. The engineer was murdered. In what?

Remember that train, the bridge? No. Well, we'll figure out 9-11 and maybe 2312 or something. How's that sound to everybody? That's it. Fucking nuts. No. That's basically the problem.

podcast. That is the first 100 episodes. Oh my God, that is the podcast. Dave Gareth History. Sources. Alan F. Dutka Misfortune on Cleveland Millionaire's Row, the Observer. Dot case.

at U and timely deaths in the stone family, old stonechurch.org. That's a great website, by the way. That's where that picture came from. The Evening Post, the Pittsburgh commercial paper, the Tennessean John D. Rockefeller, the heroic age of the American Enterprise by Alan Nevins. And?

And? The Wall Street Journal. And old Wally. I mean, can't have rich people. Can't have them. Can't have rich people. Got to stop. No rich people.

Nope. Can't have, you know, you can be rich. That's okay. You can't be, can't be that. No more magnates, no more barons. 10 million. Yeah, 10 million. Caput.

You're good. 10 million. You get parks. You get trains. Clean water. You get to walk around without people wanting to stab you. I don't know about that. I can't make that guarantee.

Wait a minute. Yeah, but that is really, that's always the story, right? That's what the dick could be called. Tales of rich people. Who knew he had said your big dick? John. Thank you guys, appreciate it. Enjoy your night.