The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 737 - Silas Soule - Part Two

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine abolitionist Silas Soule Part 2 of 3SOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHHIMSMint Mobile Rocketmoney CHEWY - Save $20See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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They think that I'm shiny. I am a pie man. I'm Pete Rose, and I only go to Gold's Gym, this one specifically. Rumor is that his penis is broke. And show up where the Taco Bar was. His brain just fucking exploded. River of cheese. You've been drinking any gnome juice?

now, officer. My dad had a fart chair. Hey, cover me. You're listening to the dollup on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast where each week, I, black shirt wear. Man with Superman-like glasses, lover of many dogs. Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to a booby. Yeah, who doesn't lay with dogs.

Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I'm a lover of dogs. I don't lay with dogs. Yeah, it's pretty creepy to be like, I love, I'm a lover of dogs. Although. What a weird way to confess what you do. I watched kennels and ASPCA and the Humane Society be aware of people like this. He let it slip.

Last night, Pablo's slept between my legs. Pablo's is Gardner. Tell you what, man, you get a dog. dog sleeping, snuggling up right there. It's pretty good. I'll tell you one thing. My cat sleeps with me pretty much every night and he takes up half the bed. By the time I wake up, I go, this is crazy. Yeah.

And he's just like, he's, go ahead, be an asshole. What? No, you have weird issues. He nudges me over all night somehow. What you're saying is fucking insane. It is not. You are, this is fucking insane. So, hey, sound off in the comments. Do you think what I'm saying is crazy or is what Dave saying is crazy?

So let us know in the comments. You weigh 180 pounds more. How much do you think I weigh? Like 180 pounds. First of all, no. And second of all, no. Your estimation, you just basically said I weigh 193 pounds. There's no way that cat's down to 13.

That cat is 13. Beautiful. I finally found a lie. And there's this stuff. There's like, I might be my algorithm, but in Japan, they're getting close to a life extending. That's a lie. We looked into it. It's a lie.

Vaccine. I was going to send it to you, but it's not true. I choose to believe. Yeah. Go ahead. 1861, Civil Wars kicked off. Our anti-abillianist bad boy, Silas Sol, is joined up with the Confederates. No.

No. And soon they are marching. They're making great time going down to Mexico. But unfortunately, for them, the Confederates had... What are they doing? They're, because the Confederates were heading west from Texas, right? So they're going up... And they're just taking over everywhere to be like, you will have slaves.

Well, they were really big on, yeah, basically. I mean, they're trying to take up the country. But they were really... Was that the plan? They were just like, we will force you into having slaves. Yeah. I mean, they wanted slaves everywhere. it seems like a really weird plan anyway because

aren't you trying to huh yeah it's it's like you're trying to make you're trying to say to people you will no no they're not making people they're just making it legal yeah legal yeah but remember like part like the lower part of Arizona I'm not sure if the lower part of New Mexico but that was a slave state like they took over right a portion that that was part of the Confederacy anyway just all good stuff. Good thing we left it to fester. Did we win that?

We did. Debatable. Well, we won. And then we were like, you just did some stuff, we did some stuff. Let's move back in together. Okay. So they are heading down, where am I? So they're heading down to New Mexico with his troops.

but unfortunately for them the Confederates had bested Silas' Union counterparts, and they'd taken over Santa Fe. So Silas' unit marched south until they found the abandoned Fort Union where they were supposed to rendezvous with other troops. Okay. The harsh March weather sent a freezing wind that chilled them to the bone so bad that it killed horses and mules. This makes me—all I'm seeing is climate change. I know, because you're thinking that never would happen anymore.

Give us back the cold that kills horses. Honestly, please. Send the cold wind. Where was this? This was like West Coast? Yeah, no, this is, no, this is. Yeah, I mean, Westish, what we consider the West. Oh, March, winter.

Now you can fry an egg on the streets of Arizona in February. Despite the fact that there was a big empty fort that could comfortably fit 500 men, the Colonel Braggman could handle any hardship and made them sleep outside. What a fucking, what in the Bill Parcells? I'm Captain Dick. Hello, I'll show you all. You're going to be tough until you're dead. Yeah.

That's not how it works. The man responded by breaking you to the fort and getting drunk. Good. Now, okay, these guys, I understand. Yeah. These are my people. That's what you do. One inebraid lieutenant shot another man and was quickly executed.

Things were starting to unravel. Hey, this party's vibe got pretty weird. Imagine if at a party, a guy shot a guy and then other people killed that guy. You had a function. It was a pretty good party until Troy shot Tom and then everybody just killed Troy. Can we not kill each other? Well, everybody put the music back on, Troy's dead. We killed Troy.

Whoopsie. In the parking lot. How did you shot Tom? The fighting person, okay. So the fighting person. Right. Was the preacher who laid down the guns because he was speaking anti-slavery stuff. And the Southerners basically were like, he does that again.

I think, no, I think the, I think the abolitionists were the ones who called them that. Right, right. Yeah. But the pro-slavery contingent didn't like him. They did not like him at all. But he's a badass, basically. I'm picturing Vinny J. I choose to picture Vinny Jones.

Clint Eastwood from, well, no, he's kind of rapy. Yeah, Clint Eastwood? Clint Eastwood would be like, I think we probably should have people working for us for no money. I'm thinking about his characters in the movies, not Clint Eastwood. Grand Torino. I picture Vinny Jones, or he's like, that's right, you got a problem with me?

We're not going to have any slaves, no ownership. Got an issue, take it up with me. The fucking Vicar. Yeah, that's better. Yeah. That's right. Let's go. Because I just remember that.

Clint Eastwood's a race. No, he played a confederate in a movie. Yeah, he was these all, yeah. He also at the RNC when he talked to the Obama chair. I mean, that's the best way to end your career. That is like how to come out with Alzheimer's by Clint Eastwood. Oh, really? That's what you think, huh, Obama?

Okay, so the flooding Parson had taken control of accompanied troops and marched them to the Confederate's unprotected rear. Follow me to the unprotected rear. They did this by climbing a massive mesa to get around the enemy line, and there they saw something they did not expect the entire Confederate supply train. Oh, fuck, yeah. So there's just one problem. Mesa's famously have very steep cliffs, often with sheer sheer, like a butte. You're doing that thing, you know, where you're just tossing out other things.

Okay, how do I describe it? It looks like one of it. So think Arizona. It's like one of those things that looks like a mountain, but it's been sheared off on top. Oh, yeah, a headless mountain. Okay, so it's got cliff sides, sheer drops on all sides. So the men threw themselves down the cliff size, barrel rolling, and tumbling like a rag doll to their positions. And somehow no one was seriously injured.

It must have been fun. At the same time, the colonel in charge of the entire Union Forest, the same one that made them sleep outside of the freezing weather, he's not doing great. Good. His hesitation and poor communication led to several lost battles that should have been won, and Silas, for his part, was holding up amazingly. He and his other Pikes Peaks Sons of Bitches, as they were called by their Texas opponents. Good.

It's a good name. Yeah. You want your opponent to be like, we give you respectful nicknames. Yeah, you sons of bitches. You've won us over. And they were doing a splendid job of protecting the unionist valuable artillery. Hillary, but the cowardly colonel got cold feet and ordered the men to retreat. Okay.

Now abandoned by the rest of the guys, the fighting parson had his men burn down every single supply they couldn't carry. And several of the men bayoneted horses and mules, which might have been normal back then, but kind of sucks. Doesn't age great. And we killed a bunch of their horses. What a fuck have you done that? They were racist too, right? No. No.

No, they were all right. They're fucking horses. They don't know who's on their fucking back. Sorry, preacher. I just can't imagine bayoneting a fucking mule. Yeah, you can change a mule's mind. Oh, yeah. And mules are super like, they love people so much.

He said the N-word. No, he fucking didn't. He did. He was going, Oh, easy doesn't. He doesn't. The fighting person wanted to stay on and kill every single rebel. he could lay his eyes on.

I'm not leaving until every one of these is fucking dead. I'm going to fucking kill all of them. All of them. All day. I'm fucking done with them. The other men were sort of freaked out by how violent and ruthless this method's preacher had become. Aren't you a preacher?

Not anymore. Yeah, I'm fucking am. Fucking hell. Cut your fucking head off. There we are. You know what? I know I will get back. I'm going to cut every throat, make a river of blood and fucking sail down it.

How's that sound? But cooler heads prevailed and they all went back to the fort. Now, the colonel is forced to resign his position because he was... The Bill Percels Colonel and wanted him all outside. Yeah, he's a scarity cat. And the fighting parson was elevated to the top spot. Silas rose up the ranks. All right, let's go inside.

Except for you, you sleep outside, tough guy. You've got cold feet. Let that spread. And Silas rose up the ranks to temporary commander of two different companies. He was, quote, showing his potential in catching the eye of superiors. As 1863 began, so did Silas's assent through the ranks where he launched himself to the job of assistant adjudicator.

Adjunct. General to the district commander. His job consisted of basically two things, record keeping and making sure people did what the commander told them to do. Okay. Yeah, not great, right? Yeah, kind of made. Whatever.

But their enemy had changed. Now that they'd driven the Confederate back south, the Civil War had left Colorado. And there was only one enemy for a 19th century settler colonial army to go up against Native Americans. What a weird turn. You got to kill somebody. But it's so weird to be like. No, you got.

Yeah. It's very. How do you get there? It's very, well, we'll take, take like, how do you get there? So take, we were just talking about Tucker Carlson earlier. Tucker Carlson. And it was all positive. Tucker Carlson, right?

saying how bad it is that you kill the people at Gaza, right? The Palestinians and we're Christians, but at the same time, what's his opinion of any Mexican who's here in America? Sure. Same thing. The difference is I was starting to respect Silas. Now, I don't know if that's his belief, but that's the Army's belief. Okay, right.

So during a triumphant march through Denver, Silas became acquainted with Denver's first real printing magnate, William Byers, who's editor of the Rocky Mountain News. I think we had an episode on. Anyway, January 22nd, Byers noted in the paper that he had the quote, pleasure of meaning lieutenant's soul, formerly of Clear Creek. And Silas played a practical joke on him. He anonymously reported that a Colorado company of men had gotten into a skirmish

with Confederates in Missouri, which led to eight deaths and the rest of the men being captured. Somehow Word got back to, Back to Byers, that it was Silas playing an April Fool's joke. What a hilarious. That a hilarious prank. I made up a battle with men died. It's like when you read an old joke and you're like, I don't understand it. Like pranks back then.

Oh, say, William, I've come as soon as I heard. Your wife, Kathleen, has been killed and both of your boys. They're dead. They're all dead. They're gone. Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God.

He hears the same. artist rendering of the bodies. What? And you can see this. It says April fools. I've had some fun with you. Oh my God, you son of a bitch. I thought my wife was dead.

Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. You are you pranksters? Always with the price. I remember the time you told me my baby died. Oh, this is so good. But your boys are dead.

It's what? Your wife remains okay. What the fuck? Is that another one? No, no, no, they were killed. No, they were killed. No, I can't kill them both. No, I don't believe you.

But Kathleen is all right. Okay. I'm having more fun with you. Your wife was also killed. The April Fool's joke was when you said it was an April Fool's joke, which it wasn't. Everyone that you love in your immediate family has perished. I'm so sorry. This has to be so hard in the way that I've let this play out in retrospect is terrible.

I just really could have come here And when you said it's in April Fool's I should have said it isn't, this is real But I just wanted to give you a moment of joy And it happened to fall on April 1st So there was a perfect doubt But everyone in your family is dead And your wife was indeed with child

So they're all gone I don't So everyone's gone I don't like you Now that's an April Fool's joke What? That you don't like me Wait, are they...

They're dead. Enough trying to poke holes in that. Everyone he loves gone. Well, you are quite the prankster. Let it be known. What's up later? Drinks? No, I don't think so.

All right. I might cut your head off. No, that's not a prank. That will be your final prank. To have your head off your body. No. No. No.

What a holiday. So he gets, Byers gets word that it was Silas playing an April fool's joke on him and taking any good spirits. He read about the trickster in the paper. That weird. Quote, we know him, dear soul, to be a man of unsuspected and straightforwardness in word indeed, and socially to be as innocent as a lamb and as susceptible as a schoolgirl. buyers continue finishing with

Hey honey the paper's really bad today It's getting really fucking weird The paper is super not good Quote We know whom we mean His hair is seldom is barely Auburn This may have been Colorado's first recorded

Ginger joke Of which there should be many more But I'm identifying with this guy Man I saw there apparently every year The Irish have a gathering of the redheads It's really upset You're not supposed to know about that. But that's the place where we do it.

We get them all there. We draw them all in. That's the place where we do what? You know. It's time. You're an idiot. It's time to get rid of them. You know what I mean?

Why? You're talking about a gingicide? Gingeside. It's time. No. Silas turned down an opportunity to show off his charisma as well during a poker game. He ran out of chewing tobacco and bet the men he could scam a whole plug of it off the next walking passerby. sure enough, a dirty man with a pack animal,

sauntered by, and Silas shot up after him immediately launching into a delightful story. Silas had the man so hypnotized that the fellow gave up a huge wad of tobacco. Silas triumphly marched back to the table, chawed mouth, and collected his winnings. See, this is, look, I know that you don't like crowdwork, but this is my time. Oh, if this guy was alive today, he would be a crowdwork guy.

But this is, I should go back. I mean, I would just be, it would be the, best. Yeah. God damn it. I said I'm stuck in this bullshit. You couldn't handle the food. What do you mean?

It's mostly just, you're mostly just a lot of days just with like meat, dried, dried meat, different kinds of meat. I get used to it. You'd be a diarying across the country. But that's my next tour. But the next April Fool saw Silas getting his comic retribution from the Rocky Mountain News, quote, on April Fool's Day, many persons were sold in various ways, but I leave, but I believe that the one with an E attached to his soul was victimized the most of any.

Huh? So a bunch of people, because they knew what he was, now he's getting, getting it back by everybody. Getting what? Everyone's April Fool's. Oh. He's getting the fools. He's being the fooled. Yeah.

Payback. Says Chrisma wasn't going on notice by Top Brass. In 1863, he was promoted to require. recruiting officer for the District of Colorado. He threw himself into his work, often prating around with the first regimental band and singing patriotic songs with a gusto reserved for the most zealous of believers.

That's just awesome. What a job! Just walking around with a band? Just fucking riffing songs nobody wants to hear? What am I, Jimmy Fallon? Just shouting my songs at people with a band that I'm not deserving of? He also wrote posters and plashing them around town.

Right, if I can write in posters? That's a tweet. Yeah, he's tweeting. My little quips on thread. Those are posters. He's tweeting. Back in Kansas, border ruffians led by psychotic, psychotic named Quantrell, rated Lawrence,

and left a, quote, swath of death and destruction as they went. Luckily, the sole family were able to escape by bouncing the family women on a hollow log and towing it out to the middle of a river where they just kind of waded it out. What the fuck? I don't know what happened. Why didn't, why wouldn't the border ruffians? You are the people who were just like helping with the underground railroad?

I've got an idea! We'll put the women on a log with nothing inside of it. They'll live there for months. Honey, but didn't you just do the underground railroad? Do you not have a better plan than just putting us out on a log in a river? My legs are very pruned. Yes. It will not be easy, women, but this is the best way.

You'll eat fish and survive. You'll live out there together. Your cycles will sink. It's the perfect plan. You can do your moon witchcraft is one. Well, at least a log will float. No, no. We'll be taking the wood out of it.

Trust us. Oh, is this one of your April? It's not an April fools. This is real. This is real fucking life. one sister was teaching at a school a few miles away and saw the smoke rising from the direction of Lawrence. She rushed home only to be confronted by a, quote, body after body, smoking ruin after smoking ruin, walking in disbelief through the carnage. In all, 185 men and boys were killed.

Fuck me. Many charred from the fires and over 175 home and businesses were burnt down or otherwise demolished. Jesus Christ. This was a real deal. It's a real deal. the catastrophic news reached Denver and Silas sprung into action he immediately borrowed 50 bucks from a friend and sent it back home hoping someone from his family was alive to receive it he finally got word they were they were all intact even if their house and all their possessions

weren't wow he dove headfirst into his recruiting with a new vigor this is kind of like the Spencer Pratt story it is very much like the Spencer Pratt story like a guy who's lost everything kind of not really and then didn't. Pretend it's a rich dentist. Yeah, his dad's rich, yeah. He dove head first into his recruiting with a renewed vigor making it into the local paper for his good work. The Commonwealth gave him an add-a-boy for his fine new flag hanging out the window, telling the young men of Denver to, quote, go in boys, souls all right. The paper went even further the next week saying Silas was universally liked, which accounts for his success.

A few months later, Silas draft. the band back down Broadway and per usual couldn't help but lead them in song. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm an annoying guy, obviously. I'm annoyed by this a little bit at this point. You know, he's got to be like tapped out on tunes a little. You know what I mean? You can only do river of cheese so many times.

That is true. They're not all river of cheeses. The newspapers reported the concert parade saying Silas's performance was, A fa. Very, very knowledgeable. He's got a knowledgeable song? Alfa, Alfa, A, A, A, A-Fa-A-T, A-I-T. Oh, A-Fault.

A-Fault. O-Fa. O-Fa. O-Fa. Maybe O-Fa. I think that's positive. It's French, obviously. He says the T isn't going to be, whatever.

It's very knowledgeable. Sure. And a decided attraction of the evening. He also earned rave reviews for his patriotic speeches, with one paper calling them soul stirring. Now that reminds me of you. Soul. You're really, you're, when you get going on your patriotic

speeches or songs. Yeah. It's incredible. Oh yeah. I'm a big grand old flag guy. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And a liar. Silas then took a recruiting trip to down to the pictures of San Luis Valley on the border of Colorado and

New Mexico where Fort Garland stood. And there he signed up to 94 vets to enlist and even hatched plan to rid the man of their rude and shitty commander, which actually worked. Wow. That's pretty good. So what is, I'm just what so I'm clear, what is he going for now? What is it, what is he, what is he doing?

He's the, he's like the, um, how he's just, well, he's definitely, he's a recruiter. So he's trying to get guys in for what? For the Union Army. Okay, but the Union Army at this point, is this just now that we're going after Native Americans? Is that what it's really, I mean, we're going to have, we're going to have to do a little bit of that. but no, the main ammo is to go out for the Confederates.

Yeah, it's on. So he's just trying to get guys to sign up and fight for the just cause. Right. He gets, he goes back to Denver and he's rewarded with a promotion to captain. Write to his mom in Maine, he asked her, quote, don't you wish you were as contented as me? It's a weird thing to write to your mom. Yeah, super strange thing.

So really, it gets kind of like a double. Uh, look it. I like, if I picture it to the tune of don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me, then I can kind of hear it. How, what is it? What is it? What is it exactly right? Um, don't you wish you was as content as me?

Don't you wish you was as content as me. Don't you? You know, then I can kind of see it. Don't you. I'm not feeling that. That's, don't do the hands. Yeah. He was now a bit of a local celebrity with papers reporting on a trip he was taking with a friend

to check in on his mining claims. The press asked if he was there for, quote, for the girls of the mines. It's so funny to imagine the TMZ of that time. Hey, which holes are you excited to get into? Your miners' ones or the ladies? Silas, any thoughts? Now that you're walking towards your mine? Are you spending any time with some dames?

Once there, they were interviewed by the Black Hawk Daily Minor where Silas joked of his new promotion that he'd raised the heart of anyone who still called him lieutenant. What a, that was a striking reply. What a quip raising the har. His friend and fellow army higher-upper was asked if there was to be an impending Indian war, and he laughed it off telling them it would never get to that point. Hmm. Well.

Surely thereafter, a whole mess of sue. This country is just a thousand. and skeletons in a closet. The whole mess of Sue were forced into the area after being expelled from Minnesota and joined the Cheyenne Kuah and Comanchee and U.S. You know, Nick Shirley had a lot to do with that. He was the one who uncovered all the sue crime.

Has there ever been a dumber one? A dumber one? Journalist. Yeah, whatever he is. Every time you watch Nick Shirley, you are like, you guys, you do yourselves no favors. Because you, like, like we were saying, Tucker Carlson, Nick Fuentes, these are despicable figures.

Yeah. However, there is obviously some intelligence there. Nick Shirley just... He's the dumbest man ever. He's just, he's like the dumbest person of all time. Yeah. And you are going like, hey, he did another, he figured out another thing. Do you know that Payless has more shoes in the back?

Nick Shirley uncovered it. Are you fucking morons? He doesn't know what word. Like, he's just seeing what bad... It's game old. when he's never heard the word benevolent. And he tried to repeat it. It's the benevolent.

What is belevenant mean? I mean, he is so fucking dumb. Nick Shirley uncovers more than 31 flavors at Baskin-Robbins. Like I thought, who's the guy who shot people and then got off the protested in Minnesota? What's that kid's name? Oh, wait, which one? The right winger. Oh, no, that wasn't Minnesota.

That was a written house. Yeah. I thought Rittenhouse was dumb. Oh. But Shirley's like next level. Yeah, he really does. Next to Shirley. Shirley is so stupid.

It is the dumbest. It just, it's very possible he's the dumbest person with a driver's license in America. Yeah, it really is. Okay. Do you know that this daycare shot at four? What's going on in there? Nick Shirley figures it out. Okay, so all these Native Americans

Are join up In the area One white man married to a native reported That he overheard all five of the tribes Make an alliance And planned to wage war on the whites Well, yeah I'm sorry, yeah

As a white, damn it It would have been just great The government took this incredibly wild claim At face value and sent out warnings to their men on the Western frontier. At the same time... Once again, the biggest victim in this country remains the white man. How dare they?

The white man. At the same time, cattle and other livestock are disappearing at a far more frequent rate than before without checking it all, the farmers came to a conclusion that it was the native stealing all their shit. Can you imagine a group of people taking our resources without our knowledge, just showing up and removing things that are our... pillaging our food sources. All the while, rumors ran rampant that the Confederates were wooing the tribes over to their side, which partly true. Crazy. But the Cheyenne, the biggest tribe in the area, stayed neutral. So the fighting person had been promoted to Colonel and was now in charge of the district.

Get fucking ready. The man of God is so revulsed by slavery that he put his own life in the line, had this to say about the Cheyenne. quote they are stealing large numbers of stock and refusing to give them up and there is but one course left for us to pursue that is to make them behave or kill them which latter it now seems we shall have to do jesus christ it's just like i mean listen we love burgers we do the we love burghers don't fuck around that's uh it's how many people have died because of burgers but it's like you said earlier it's like the you know The, the, the, the, the, the, tuckered thing of like, yeah.

It's just like, no, guys, it's everybody. It's, it's, it's, we, we really, we selectively pick which group you want to. Yeah. Yeah. We, we really do. We are always the three fingers pointing back at ourselves. Yeah, we really have a problem with this shit. Always.

I mean, it's just the, the, the lack of accountability. If, if it was done to us endlessly talk about it, if we did it, come on, it wasn't me, guy. Another letter he... Like Mitch McConnell being like, well, it won't make you think that I have anything to do with what my dad and grandpa did. Get over it. Get over it. Another letter he wrote was a bit more brief, quote, kill them.

A few words. Kill them. Prank? No, no prank. No, no. No, no, no fucking prank night. The Pike's Peak, sons of bitches, torched two extremely well-supplied villages,

forcing dozens of women and children to flee in terror from the flames. They did it all for 19 cows. Who did? The Pikes Peaks' Pigsons of bitches. Which is our Silas' soul group. Yeah, that's his group. So they did that. Why? Because they were... Because they stole...

19 cows were stolen. They're saying the cows were... So they kill women and kids. It's the burgers. Yeah. The Fighting Parsons' right-hand man found a Cheyenne named Spotted Horse and allegedly tortured him over an open flame until he coughed up the location of the rest of the tribe. Jesus Christ. After the Cheyenne burnt down a settlement from retaliation, things started simmer down in the area.

Literally. Long enough that the fighting person felt comfortable sending Silas to go command his first regiment southeast of Denver Fort Laon. Okay. The town was a bit more bustling than your usual frontier outpost. A traveling freak show even visited. That's nice. That's nice. Let's bring.

Let's have the entertainment be as bad and evil as the... Are you guys ready for the best night of your fucking lives? This guy is a serious health problem. Honestly, back there, just like... Scoliosis boy. It hurts. Shut up. We need dimes.

Frogman! Look at Giant Ed. It's a tumor. The woman with rights. Look at her. She's able to vote. She's respected by... a husband.

Can we throw hot pennies at? You sure can. Look at this freak. She's expressing her opinions. The non-drunk man. What? I've never had a drop. Stout him.

Freak! Silas wrote a letter to his mom that he paid one of the freaks. I hope he's writing more gloat letters. What's up now, bitch? Silas. He still suck or what? still stuck there? He wrote a letter to his mom that he paid one of the freaks a buck to see him turn his joints inside out, noting, quote, so you see we are quite civilized in this country.

What in the fuck? Is that sarcasm? No, I don't think so. He's genuinely like, I paid a sick person, one dollar to move their arms up and down. So as you can see, things are fine. I mean, they're not sick because they have, they're double jointed. So that's actually probably the best, I guess, yeah. The best possible case. a freak show freak because that is just a guy who's like check this out yeah that's really not a disability as opposed to like rubber boy you may poke him with pins the natives were really the life on that fuck it must have been just awful yeah the natives weren't really an issue but mosquitoes are the virgin hi what are you 40 yeah it just never happened and then after one one night on the road i can no longer be

in the freak show. I've met someone. Like, fuck you have. You son of a bitch. You're our biggest draw. Well, I couldn't help it. So natives aren't really an issue, but mosquitoes are. The Rocky Mountain News reported that Silas had been successful skirmishing with the

mosquitoes, speculating that they had met their end, either by, quote, alighting on the captain's very Auburn hair and getting scorched, or by listening to his sweet Irish brogue. getting charmed. They are suggesting that he got rid of mosquitoes either by self-emoliation or whatever it's called. I'm Nick Shirley. Or by singing to them? Yes, ginger. Yes.

Ginger's kill mosquitoes. Like the sound of us a little more now? Need us around. No. Still don't want you around. Human tiki torches. Come on. Wrong.

That entire, that June the entire town of Denver, kicked, tricked itself into an Indian hysteria. always a good side always a good by the way what race can just trick themselves into full on genocide watching well we've had another oopsie poopsie

you will literally never the sewer gone you will never see another girl people more be able to freak themselves out over nothing they are white we are so embarrassing and it's not like we're like a lower tiered race like we have dominated everything

through war crimes for so long, and yet we still go, we're in the crosshairs. I mean, yeah, we get so fucking scared. We're just always like, oh, fuck. It's the same thing right now with the cities. There's shit everywhere. They're killing us. Yeah, mid-genocide. We're like, they're trying to kill us.

Okay, it started with one blurry warning of a band of horses, but then through the game of racist telephone, it ballooned to three thousand warriors bearing down on the city. families tore themselves out of their homes and stuffed themselves inside the few brick buildings Denver had they were packed like sardines barely able to breathe safe from being burned down in their wooden homes but genuinely at risk of suffocation and nothing was happening right they're hiding from a hurricane that doesn't exist yes after all of Denver had been woken up in terror, the townsmen's bum rushed the armory and with the threat of physical murder forced the soldiers to hand over the guns. The townsmen stationed themselves in alleys,

doorways on balconies and waited and waited and waited and nothing, nothing came. This is what we did with killer bees. This is Native American Y2K. I mean, they are, man, it does not take much. It turns out it was probably just some Mexican cattle drivers. Whoopsy. Just the dumbest. Oops. Oops, we're in charge. But the real visceral fear that came from the ordeal stayed with the Denverites, infecting their brains with panic.

They sent out new orders to outposts across the territory that the men were to, quote, shoot to kill any native they saw, period. Just because of nothing. They were literally just scared. And now they're... It's just like what my cat does with its tail is the white people. Just like, the enemy's there. This is what we do with everything. Yeah, we are fully the...

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Because there seems to be an issue on urine. Is it not a tongue problem? 250 miles away at Fort Leone. Silas had begun training and drilling his men with enthusiasm. He treated them fairly and in turn they respected him. They were so disciplined that they received a public commendation from their post commander. They got to they got to shoot to kill order. but beyond a couple of skirmishes,

quote, the biggest nuisance seemed to come from mosquitoes and boredom. It's all quite stupid. It is very stupid. One day, Lieutenant was taking troops up to Denver to muster out when they came upon something peculiar. Three Cheyenne standing in the middle of the road. Two men, one old and missing an eye, and a woman. Even though they had orders to murder them on sight,

the lieutenant hesitated. These people weren't doing anything threatening. If anything, it looked like they were trying to surrender. The one-eyed elder slowly approached and handed the lieutenant a piece of paper, and the soldiers took him prisoner. Just because of existing? Yes. Well, they're supposed to kill them.

Shoot on site. Major wine coop chewed the shit out of the lieutenant for not killing the peaceful natives and then figured what the hell and interrogated them instead of hanging them. The one-eyed elder was a sub-chief. named one eye, well, look, sometimes the name is just pretty straightforward. It's right there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, so that's fine. What was on the piece of paper? We don't know. I hope maybe it'll say. And the other man. Do you like me? The other man was a warrior known as Eaglehead. And he actually had an Eaglehead. Wow.

Oh, shit. Would you look at that? That one's got one eye. Oh, one eye. Now I've seen everything. The note was a peace offering. Saying they'd release seven white prisoners if the colonizers would release some Cheyenne and promise not to murder any more natives for no reason. How dare you? This is the most insulting letter of all time. What the fuck?

What do you think this is fair? Winecoop pressed one eye. Why would he risk his life to send this message? He replied that the great spirit had whispered to him to save his people. Well, it sounds like someone feels like there's more to life than just killing, drinking, and fucking. What you're saying is insane. And that one has an eaglehead. I cannot say this enough.

Please stop pointing that out. I'm quite normal. That is weird. Oh, come on. By the way, I'm on mushrooms. Yeah. That would have helped this whole thing. Yeah.

Just a fucking nice dose of psilocybin. Give all of these white psilocybin. Just in their fucking moonshine, just put mushrooms. You're one with nature and so my. I've been thinking that maybe we're wrong for what we're doing. So, Wancoup asked Eaglehead why he was there. Eagle later replied that he would never let his friend meet his fate alone. Juan Coop was stunned.

He later wrote that he, quote, felt himself in the presence of superior beings, and that these were the rep... I had to be so hard for him. Oh. And that these were the representatives of a race that I had here for, heretofore looked upon without exception as being cruel, treacherous, and bloodthirsty without feeling. He's having the, are we the baddies? Or affecting, yes, he is.

He's in the midst of the Rwe the baddies moment. Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. He was willing to go die with his friend for the greater good and all he was asking for was peace. Meanwhile, I was supposed to kill them before they even got the letter to me. Pretty much, right? These mushrooms are good.

I always think that if you could just get ayahuasca in the D.C. water, man, just to watch a session of that shit. What would shit change, huh? I've come to some new conclusions. We are all God's children. We are all connected. The space between us is invented. well stuff when asked to saddle up

to meet the Cheyenne for peace talks major Hawaiian Coop's staff was outraged everyone that is except for Silas he rescued slaves before even a prisoner and was the what was the difference between that and this if anything

it would be easier since the Cheyenne wanted to give the prisoners up Silas was one of four junior officers who made the track along with 120 low-level soldiers bringing Cheyenne prisoners along with them for the exchange. Four-day ride, they came to a site that made their blood

curdle. 800 Cheyenne and Arapho warriors in battle formation, showing gestures of hostility and letting the white man know they were down for a fight. When I approached the other chiefs

and conferred, then returned with the news that the other chiefs would meet with Major Silas, another lieutenant, and an interpreter. They gathered on the banks of the Hackberry Creek and met with the ten indigenous chiefs. As a show of good faith, the union men handed over their weapons and entered the circle of chiefs. Quote, standing unarmed in the midst of an angry-looking foe, Silas tried to keep the chattering of his teeth quiet. Wow.

Wine coop continued to puff on his pipe as he attempted to appear calm. your susi-soosia is trying to to die, trying to say, say, say, say. The men spoke for six hours. Meanwhile, the soldiers were being temporarily commanded by a drunk who was barely holding on, unable to really handle the fact that they were surrounded by 800 warriors.

We should get to fighting them. These peace talks are taking long enough. We waited for far too long. Can I say something? Yeah, go ahead. Let's fucking go. What? Let's fucking go.

What the fuck are we? I don't know if you're ready to fight. You seem drunk even for this. What is he? What is what is what is what is it? Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, take a seat, dude. Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, you're having a bad trip, man, okay? We're going to go fight this war because these guys are out of line, but you just need to sit here.

Stop, dude, you're freaking a bunch of the people out, okay? Okay, there you go. Let that come up. Let that come up. I feel bad. That's the mushroom saying you take him too much, okay? Stop saying stuff. Okay, we're going to go beat the shit out of these guys.

What, okay, say it. What are you trying to say? What do we go home? Why don't know? We can't go. We need to fight the battle, dude? I don't want to see my dad. That's a pathetic thing to say.

Okay. Who can to die? Yeah, me, look, man, we won't fight them, okay? We'll just wait for the negotiation. You kind of killed the enthusiasm. Yeah, so. So we got a drunk guy in charge of the troops. I have a feeling this guy is going to be like, we should fight him.

The natives for their part were either livid or curious. The ones that spoke English, we'd throw on insults. What's your problem? Slurs. Hey, what's your problem, honky? For their part. What's your deal, Cracker? And the more curious fellows were amazed by the Howitzer Canons that they'd ever seen before.

Canons. Okay, right. Yeah, that would be like, well, what's that terrible thing? Wow, you guys are real pricks. You guys really are awful. Wow, that's evil shit. One native couldn't help but stuff the cannon with grapes to just see, what happened.

Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you doing there? I absolutely get this guy. This guy. Now we have a me in the story. I love the idea of your like, so this will shoot food at us better? Food, no.

Motherfucker, no. Go back, stand back. 300 yards and open your mouth. That is a party trick. While our people negotiate, we thought maybe we could put food in your cannon and shoot it at the crowd. Yeah, that actually sounds pretty funny. Putting grapes in it.

Like acting like, oh, I understand. This is how you feed your people. What? Fuck out, people. We murder. Hold on. Listen to him, though. Think about it.

Now, we've had a minute to consult and we've decided your grape cannon idea is pretty fucking fun. So we're going to do it. Well, so when he tried to put the grapes in, a shoving match ensued, and both sides drew their weapons in a standoff. Why was this man killed? He put grapes in the cannon. You guys were gone for a while.

A lot of weird stuff took place. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and the peace talks continued. Finally, Winecoop, Silas, and the other two whites emerged, and the soldiers were returned to camp and await word from the chiefs. Two days later, one chief arrived with a prisoner, a young woman, who, according to contemporaneous reports, became so overwhelmed with emotion that she began to weep uncontrollably when she was told to stop by the chief because, quote,

Indians did not approve of women crying. That's amazing. So she just like let loose. No, they thought she thought she was going to be killed because, yeah, because she was crying. And then, yeah. Which is really how we raise, we should raise people. Well, it's really a strange thing when you're like,

boy, this group of people is worse to women than we are. The news of the day reported that the last part multiple times, They really wanted to get that fact out of there. So it's a... They were really... Well, it's just their savages thing. Right. They were upping that part of it.

Yeah. Silas took it upon himself to welcome the woman and turned on the old Silas charm to help her forget, you know, the terrible ordeal she went through... Excuse me, I'm just a drunk Irish guy. I'm acting.

Hello. How are you? That must have been a fun moment for you. I have other characters. Do you want to hear my S&L stuff? No. I have a whole real idea. Oh, no.

I'm good, thanks. I do a bunch of people. You want to hear my Trump? No, I'm traumatized. I was just kidnapped by Native Americans. I was traumatized too because I went to the bar and did the 70 whiskey for me. What are you doing? I'm doing my drunk Irish.

Yeah, well, I'm literally traumatized. Excuse me. I'm the king. I didn't like this guy. It's me still. No, I know it's you. Well, why don't I get in a relationship with this lasso? That's the only woman who likes me.

My name is, my name is. My name is Cartfelton McFathersson. Do you think you... That's another character I do. Would be able to get this out of your system. All righty then. If there was a thing called crowd work, do you think you'd be able to get to some of your systems?

How would that go? How would that go? Which is you're up in front of a crowd of people and you're just talking to them. How do you talk to them? Well, you're like... What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living?

How do you do you... Those are interesting things to find out about strangers. And then from that you can do your little character. And if I could be able to handle it. I've been a sweet little bit of a bear pepper That's Another one of my characters

That's terrible Drunky McLepracan You're terrible Okay You heard my special Four Leaf Clever I need you to Hey you know

It's far leaf clever I need you to completely stop talking Okay So he probably used access To try and make her laugh Which yeah We just went through And it worked

The Chief gave Wancoff word That the others Would be freed The next day Sure enough It's funny to go back to a group of white people, and you're just like, you're going to be allowed to cry here a lot,

a skill that you'll be employing regularly. Sure enough, at noon, there was a... We let our women we treat them so badly. They cry all the fucking time. Sure enough, at noon there was possession of the other chiefs and child prisoners. One young boy was happy to be free, but wanted to keep the Indian pony he had been given.

We've all been there. I mean, have we? A young girl arrived wrapped in a blanket crying for her dead mother. It's tough. So look, nobody was doing great stuff. This is fine. Yeah, but these are the children coming back from the Native Americans. Yes.

Yeah, so there's some stuff happened. O'InCoop recalled the, quote, the bronze cheek of many a battle-scarred, rough soldier coursed a tear. What? He's saying that even the hardened soldiers were sad. Okay. Because, you know. Right.

Yeah, it's tough. A kid's mom died. Yeah, it's not easy. You got to send a Kushner and a Whitkoff there. That's how you get out of these sort of situations. Our greatest negotiators. It is a matter of time until he opens. I really thought the door was opening up at one point.

Do you think he gets annoyed by us? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The party embarked on their journey to Denver with, A wine coop riding ahead to alert any military men he found to not murder their band of travelers. Wait, so he's getting ahead to tell them not to murder because now we're like on non-murderous terms? No, because I think he has with them Native Americans who brought the... Right.

Right. So, yeah, he's saying don't murder. Right, right. He also needed to make arrangements with the governor who was the head of Native relations in the territory. When he first tried calling on him, the governor pretended to be sick. Yeah, I was going to say, it's weird to not have heard from him so far in this thing. I don't feel well again. You're the governor.

Tell them I can't. My belly hurts. I've got a poopie. I can't. I'm in pain. The next day the governor met with Winecoop was a real Debbie Downer. He told Winecoop, it was absolutely a terrible mistake to bring the natives here to talk peace. after all, weren't they at war with these United States? This is, excuse me, his role again is what?

He is the governor and the native relations. Right. He's like, you should have killed them when you have the chance. I'm the Native Relations guy. Are you even sick? And by that, look, here's what I'm saying. Relations means murder. It's very interesting.

By relations, I mean, cut off relations. Cut off, and killed. And heads. Heads. Yeah, so he's not down. He says it's a terrible mistake. After all, weren't they war with the U.S.? And they need to be punished more before peace can be reached

Or the U.S. looks cowardly, right? The relations are difficult to have. One thing about peace is you want the other people to be so desperate for it. Ultimate peace happens when they're all dead. Yes. And then we finally have achieved ultimate peace. Isn't that piece? Oh,

I don't know what that is. What are you doing? I'm just letting you know that that side is very important. But it sounded like a Harry Krishna song. What are you doing? That's just sort of when it comes to these relations. Is that supposed to be a Native American song? No, this is the governor's, this is the governor's relation song.

Oh, ma' ha, ha, ha. Mom, my, ma. Just a baby boy. A mom. My baby boy, oh, ha. We'll figure it out. We just got word that they really want to kill us now. The need to murder us has risen.

It's rising. They're saying they're going to go to full war. It's going to be. I'm going to take my shirt off. You remind me of the whip and poofs. That's going to be in my head all day. So Winecoop was just flabbergasted by the governor's response. Here he was, ready to bring peace to the frontier and the governor's turning it down.

And the governor balked throwing out several bullshit reasons why they shouldn't meet. So Colorado's always kind of been the same. Yeah, basically. It's always been like one guy or you're like, what's your deal in charge of the state? Like every time they have a governor, you're like, what do you like? Yeah, what the fuck? It's just always weird shit. Kind of.

Always. So. It's like, we've legalized mushrooms and you can kill Chinese people. We're Colorado. What's going on over there? But one could bore the governor down and he agreed to meet with them. Silas ran to his friends in the press and convinced them to give the conference positive coverage. And once the band of chiefs arrived in Denver, they paraded down the main streets.

waving American flags. People of Denver cheered, hoping that at long last they'd be able to live in peace. But not everyone was happy. The third Calvary unit came close to mutiny, wanting to strike the blow for the people of Denver here and now and rid the city of their, quote, Indian problem. God damn it. The people are like, yeah, let's just live together. Fuck, no.

So it only, literally if you take, if you have 90 people, just think if you're at a party, how many, how many guys it takes to fight and fuck up the party. Yeah. No, it is. We have like, it's like herpes is racism. We just, there's always someone who has it in a group. They're just not saying it out loud. And then now with the state of affairs, now people are so much happier to say it out loud

and just let it rip. I said something on an Elon instance. Instagram video the other day. And I just, my faith and hope in society gets deflated often. But it was like, he was basically, I don't even remember what he was talking about, but some of his opining bullshit where it's just like completely made up. And he's, you know, we're going to need to give everyone a universe of basic income. And it'll be a high wealth income because, you know, once a AI, all this stuff.

And I was just like, this guy, nobody's ever been more full of shit. And the failures of capitalism are so evident because he's the richest man in the world. And the amount of people who are like, bro, what do you smoke? Okay. Dude, what have you done? Are you fucking serious? He's done this, this, this, this. And you're just like, I can't.

You can't destupefy. No. And that's a cult. Yeah, it is. It's a cult when you worship a person who is directly fucking you. Yeah. And you're like, he's the best. And lying to your face.

Lying always profiting. He's going to be a trillionaire, technically. Yeah. But we had to eat the first. millionaire. Oh my God. So the conference... It can be teal. The conference begins with

the main chief, black kettle, addressing the governor. Quote, we have come with our eyes shut following wine coops handful of men like coming through the fire. All we ask is that we may have peace with the whites. We want to hold you

by the hand. You are our father. That sounds a little weird. You freaks. No. We have been traveling. We will come. come on the fire with you, though. What? That sounds like the best way to put it out.

Jesus Christ. It will play what we call Uki Ashes. What? Yes. So we will all stand here and we will play until we spurred out the fire.

That's what you just offered us. I know. And we are saying, as the white race, no. We accept your fire jacks. Why are you talking like that? We will play firejacks with you people and we will not hold your hand,

but we will all hold each other's members. And we will play with ourselves until we make spurts and put this fire out in a symbolic sign of peace and going forward with our treaty together. We will now ask the women to turn their backs and for the boys to stand behind us because someday they will be doing this on this, the holiest of holidays. So with that, I shall start the first jacking. We out. As you can see, my penis is out. We out. And quite hard.

First out, we out. Bye. We're not going to be able to put this fire out without you. Bye. By the way, I have noticed a flaw in our arrangement. In order to put the fire out, I will need to be quite close. Bye. And it burns my penis and balls.

Do you understand? Unfortunately. Translator, will you explain to him? No, we got it all. Do you understand? Yeah. It's hard for me to shoot when that close to the fire. Should you be in one of your freak shows?

What's beautiful about this moment? is that one man's squirt cannot put out the fire, but the squirt of 800 of us will indeed extinguish the blaze. I got to be honest, just, I don't think that would... We're accepting your terms. Put it out. I think it might. I don't.

Then we'll piss on it after, which is probably good for us to do anyway. That would probably work, but... Every person, spurt, and then we'll squirt. There's literally nothing... The spurt and squirt. about what you're saying that makes any sense. It is a way for our people. It's not.

It is a way. Everybody knows you guys don't do this. It is a way. You're trying to get us to jerk out on a fire and then take pictures. You guys go first. It's very obvious trying to make us look terrible. Go ahead. No.

Please. No, then you'll be like these guys jerk off over fires. We're not doing them. No, we'll be like April fools and we got you because it's April fools. You're fucking dummies. We don't do that. Oh. All right.

Well, then let's just jack off on the fire. after you. Okay. Oh, that's nice. That feels good. That's good. My hood's hot. Yeah.

You are father. We began traveling through a cloud. The sky has been dark ever since the war began. The braves who are with me are all willing to do what I say. We want to take good tidings home to our people that they may sleep in peace. I want you to look at all the chiefs and to your soldiers here and understand that we are here for peace, that we have made peace. and that we may not be mistaken for them by them for enemies. I have not come here with a little wolf spark,

but I've come to talk, point to you, the chief in charge of them. Okay, I was going to say, it doesn't sound whitey. The governor of the chiefs went back and forth, and the governor blamed violence wrought by the sue on them. He constantly backed any promise of peace, backed off any promise of peace, and grilled the chiefs about the fighting that had previously occurred, asking them to turn over any of their perpetrators. Yeah, because his job is essentially expansion

and to rid the area of the Native Americans. Yeah, well, and he also, I mean, again, he's coming in with quite a bias if he's basically saying that he doesn't want, he already didn't want this. By the way, Denver's always hated the chiefs. They're just a better franchise. The fighting person who was now in charge of Roy of all the soldiers in the area

finally spoke up, quote, I'm not a big war chief, but all the soldiers in this country are at my command. My rule of fighting white men or Indians is to fight them until they lay down their arms and submit to military authority. You are near major wine coop than anyone else, and you can go to him when you get ready to do that. What's he saying? I mean, is he saying, because I would imagine that he is saying pro peace.

Yes, he's giving like a, like, he's actually. actually talking piece with the... Right. Whereas the governor isn't. Right. But he's in charge of the military, so... Yeah, so basically. And with that statement, the fighting person and Governor Evans adjourned the council.

Silas, whitening all of this, later said the chiefs repeatedly tried to give their side, but had their comments and questions deflected. Hmm. So silence of Wyckx... Sounds like our kind of dialogue. Yeah, it really does. Silence of Waikou returned to Fort Lyon, where they were met by about 200-native... who were awaiting the return of the chiefs.

Chief left-hand. He's left-handed, by the way. I am left-handed. By the way, you guys, I've heard a lot of your nicknames, and they've been like sitting bull, and they've been pretty good, but some of these are really falling short. Yeah, lefty, and that's Jimmy two feet over there. Oh, are you?

Both of my feet are functional. Chief Left Hand, Double Dono's commitment to the peace talk. telling Silas that he would rather fight his own people than the white man if he stayed truthful to the process. While they were gone, one of the companies mutinied because they were forced to be peaceful toward the Native Americans and were confined to the guardhouse where they promptly burned it down. The passion for racism. It's just we always have had a bunch of proud. We've always had proud boys. And it is really, it is, it's like a chemical imbalance.

It is a DNA issue. There is genuinely fucking. this fucking thing that we've got to just, like, science has to get into it and just find a way just before birth to be like, oh, this is a fucking, this is an oathkeeper. Suck that out. There we go. I mean, we would be living in peace. It wasn't for like 20% of us just being completely fucking insane. And now those 20% are like, oh, fucking fat on the White House lawn.

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and 365 day returns, quince.com slash dollop. 700 natives now moved about two miles from the fort, giving themselves up to the whites and honoring the peace process. Ugh, never. This lasted about two months. Yeah. Never do that. Never.

Never. Just never fucking fold in front of the whites. Right. Bluff. Do something. Once the ranking general got word of the, plot, he immediately sent a replacement for Waincoup. He also charged WynCoop with a cavalcade of offenses, like, quote, having issued food and supplies

to Indians, allowing Indians in and around the post, as well as leaving the district without authority. So he's demoted, and the vibe shifted to an uncertain melancholy. Silas was pessimistic at the prospect of peace. He wrote to his sister that he expected to do some fighting that winter. several times he tried to leave the fort either by a furlough or reassignment but was constantly denied. So he wants out of this fucking bullshit.

Ultimately, what is the piece going to look like in this situation? It's going to be... Well, it's not anymore. Right, but what was the version of it was peace was just like, we have some area, you have some area. Yeah, we won't kill each other.

Yeah, just leave each other alone, right? So the two-month furlough is essentially where they're awaiting a decision on if that is going to come to fruition? No, I think that they, I think they agreed with the military. We won't do this. And then they went higher up the command and they heard it, you know. And they were like, that sounds horrible.

What the fuck? Kill them. So the next day, Silas and another soldier out patrolling when they came upon a wild sight. It was the fighting parson commanding over 400 soldiers making their way to Fort Leon. Silas stopped. Silas stopped and greeted his old mentor kindly, but the fighting parson dispensed with any pleasantries. No, ton.

He demanded that Silas tell him if anyone knew of their arrival, and Silas assured them that this would be a surprise and asked why. And the fighting parson coolly let Silas know that they were there to kill all the Native Americans. Ah, fuck. I thought I was going to go another direction. Now, remember, he's... Yeah, no, I know, yeah. He's Tucker Carlson.

Yeah. Yeah. Silas felt anger, shame, and agitation as he shouted, quote, But they're prisoners. They're peaceful. It didn't matter. The Fighting Parson Way outranked Silas, and any more disrespect would be considered mutinous. Silas raced back to the major and told him of the impending reneging on the peace treaty, but it was still too late. The fighting parson sealed the entrances and didn't allow any natives into the fort. Silas tore into the major and reminded him of their promise to the chiefs.

They were so close to a peaceful outcome. And the fighting parson assured him they weren't going to kill all of the indigenous people. They leave some of the, quote, good ones. This was refuted by the fact that they were to attack the basically unarmed civilian camp at Sand Creek, not the warrior factions that were camped out at Smoky Hills. Feeling for his protege and not wanting to put him, in a position where he'd be revealed as a liar, the fighting person gave silence a free pass to sit this one out.

The idea that if you are going to be, this is what we see now, it's like if you are committing anything from a crime against humanity to a genocide, you're going to get an emotional and violent reaction from people. And then if you decide that that is criminality, you're going to be able to eventually pretty much put everybody in a jail or a camp or beat them or mace them or kill them or whatever. And that is basically now for profit in our society. So it's like, hey, we're going to keep crossing this line. And when you object to us crossing this line by any means necessary, you've also crossed the line. you're not fun well it's just

it's not going great like when you see the delaney hall shit and you're just like the whole idea of the there was that moment remember where it was sort of like there was this almost like maya culpa offered to the law enforcement because you were like well they're not as bad as ice

and if we can get them to turn against ice and then it's like Like, well, look, you see now how it works? No, do you see what it is? The cops move the barricades back for the detention center to continue its abuse. So it's a beautiful little ecosystem. Always going to happen. Silas stormed out of the room and marched right to where several officers were hanging out

and braided them, saying, quote, any man who would take part in the murders was a low-life cowardly son of a bitch. Silas wasn't the only officer to feel that way. Joseph Kramer called the planned ambush murder and reminded the fighting parties that they had given their word to the chiefs, that the chiefs had saved their lives and dealt with them in a civilized manner. And the fighting person thundered

that he, quote, believed it to be right or audible to use any means necessary under God's heaven to kill Indians and damn any man that is in sympathy with the Indians. Wow, we really just need... If God could just come down for 10 minutes, just kind of give us the straight, what's the goal here

so we could all just lock. in. He added the message that Kramer, Wancoop quote, had better... How great would it be

if God came down and just killed Jesse Waters? Oh, God. Just one thing, everybody. He squished his head.

Okay, now I'm out. That was a really boopsie. That's all I was here for. All right. Take care. I might come back.

Damn any man that isn't simply with the Indians and guys like Kramer and Wankoo quote, had better get out of the United

States service. The fighting person then made threats against Silas for daring to betray his orders, and Silas tried to write a letter pleading their case, but the fighting person returned it unopened. That is some bullshit. That night, he led two battalions, including Company D, which was led by Silas to San Creek.

On the way, one of the guides who sided with Silas marched the troops through a freezing pond, claiming that it was the most direct route. It likely could have been a ploy to dampen the men. gunpowder. The fighting parson threatened the man with death, adding that he would have the man, quote, for breakfast. As

the sun rose, they approached their destination. 100 lodges of Cheyenne and eight lodges of Arapaho awaited them on the banks of the relatively dry creek. A few were awake completing their morning task, but most were asleep until the thundering

of artillery and 600 horses. They first thought it was a massive herd of buffalo because they could not comprehend the white man betraying them like this, but it soon dawned on them, this army was there to kill them. And a rumor flew through the military men. They were to take no prisoners. The fighting person summed all of his fire in brimstone, hollering at the men, quote, boys, I shall not tell you what you are here to kill, but remember, are slaughtered women and children.

Remember what? Are slaughtered women and children. That's the end of. Man, just fucking, you know, it's, that's. term war crime has always been such a funny little term because it's just like well war is a crime i mean they but you know there are i guess you have to honor this idea of defending violence against innocent people with something and so maybe violence is the only way to do that but then if you have such an abysmal history like this it's just like man that's just like full on just

it's just this I've been wronged cop shit it's like Heg-Sephyan brain rot where you're just like we kill everyone because we were at some point it's like

man get the fucking chip off your white shoulder you fucking lunatic yeah they're just people that are just okay with it's people that are okay with killing like they're just and you just get and I do like when you when you do read the people's history the United States.

I mean, it, the one thing that jumps out is that the natives could not process the level of violence that was brought toward,

like they, they, like, you know, it's not to say that they were not violent, but they were just like, oh,

shit. Yeah, a different level. It was like, the white violence was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys,

not everybody. You're not supposed to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Fuck. That's a real downer for an ending of an episode. Well, I'm sure it'll get worse. I keep kind of feeling like I am holding this hope that Silas is going to John Brown us at some point.

Keep holding it. Silas sources. Silas Saul is short eventful life of moral courage by Tom Benson, the Rocky Mountain is, the Commonwealth of Black Hawk Daily Minor, and this was written by Josh Androsky. It's very funny because I'm wearing my... lamb a god shirt right now and randy bligh literally just texted me and what do you say he just sent me a picture of his cat dracula when he's holding a Jose pin in front of dracula's mouth

and dracula by the way does not look into it he no does not look into it in dracula he's trained dracula to walk around to uh feel comfortable riding around on his head so he like walks around the house and dracula like sits on his head like a coonskin cap I saw Mark Twain had a cat on him. Pardon? I saw a picture of Mark Twain. He was... That's AI.

No, it wasn't. Is everything AI? He was, most stuff is, yeah. Yeah, okay. He was rocking a cat. All right. All right, everybody. Have a good week.

Thank you.