The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 742 - Alexander Hamilton - Part Three

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Alexander Hamilton. Part 3 of 4. SOURCESTOUR DATESOFFICIAL MERCHNutrafol - Use code: DollopSQUARESPACE - Use OFFER CODE: DOLLOP to save 10%Mint Mobile  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dave, before we get to this phenomenal part three, I would like to remind everyone, if you want to see a screening of my film, Give It Up, July 28th, North Hollywood, 7 p.m. I doubt that. The Lemley. You can go to Give ItUpfilm.com, which is Squarespace. Join us. People are calling it the greatest movie since Jaws. I think it'll be in Arizona at a baseball tournament. You'll be there. Dave will be there. There'll be a Q&A after. Enjoy this.

My father's dead. You killed him. think that I'm shiny. I am a pie man. I'm Pete Rose, and I only go to Gold's Gym, this one specifically. Rumors that his penis is broke. And show up where the Taco Bar was. His brain just fucking exploded.

River of cheese. You've been drinking any gnome juice? No, officer. My dad had a fart chair. Hey, cover me. You're listening to the dollop. Good cover. You're listening to the dollop on the all things.

Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast for each week. I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to Dexter. And what? Gareth Reynolds, that's really tough to work with who has no idea what the topic is going to be

about. I was serving with a common friend of ours yesterday. Oh, God. And as we were getting in our cars leaving, he goes, say, I do Dexter. And I go, who's Dexter? He goes, You're a podcasting partner, Dexter.

Who is this person? Murray. Valerie, no. How is Murray going to dog me later? And I just laughed. I go, I'll tell him that. And he goes, yeah, go ahead. Tell him exactly that.

Murray, we're enemies. And you know what Dexter's do to enemies, don't you? So you're a Dexter. I don't care. Like I said, I'm done, Katie. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out on caring.

You used to fight back so hard on your name, but now you just rolling over. It's over. What's the point, right? Yeah. That's the point. Actually, at this point, the more confusing it is for the Gestapo, the better. So, yeah, I watched, today I watched 10 minutes of Ukrainian drones in Russia. I tell you what, I'm going to say this to everybody. Don't look at what's going on with the drones because you will do what he's doing, which is.

Yeah, it's over. It's over. It's over. Yeah, yeah. The drone thing is, if you look at what's happening with drones, bro, by the way, I don't like that they have cameras on them. No. I don't want my last moment to be, oh. Yeah. They've got your last moment where you're like, the drone! Remember we were worried about robot dogs with guns, though?

Still worried. You shouldn't be because I was watching a couple of robot dogs with guns yesterday, and two drones just came down and blew them up, and I'm like, oh, so we got that tanker. I, honest to God. I was, when I was walking through Hollywood yesterday, I was like, those little robot delivery things. You want to kick them over. Yeah, but two years ago, I was like, that's a big problem. And now I'm like, who cares?

Who fuck? Like, we've seeded every bit of ground now where it's just like. Nobody stops anything. It's over. Yeah. It's over. Well, you know about the ones and the cop ones in Burbank. but ride around and they drive around.

It's like a little cart like that. It drives around and like gives warning signal to people and then everyone's all the sides open up and drones come out. You're just like what? Like we really at no point. I guess we're just doing this, huh? Yeah, there was never there. It feels like there never was a meeting where we were like, here's why we can't do it.

It was all of a sudden you're like, that's the fuck is that? Yeah. It was just like, ah, yeah, it's a drone hive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, LAPD getting rid of all their flock cameras. So we're making progress.

Yeah, we're going to be fine. Yeah, we're good. Oh, fuck. 1791, springtime. So, uh, so they've been working on the, you know, setting up the government and all that. He got, Hamilton got his central bank. That obviously upset some, like the Jeffersons and people of that ilk. And basically the acceptance of what Alexander's interpretation the Constitution was,

which was like, well, if it's not in there, then we can do it. It's implied powers. Which is an amazing starting point. Yeah. To be like, now we can break, we can bend the laws. Well, it's not in there. Didn't the whole thing just? I mean, it's not in there.

Yeah. So, by the way, some of the comments on the Alexander Hamilton clips that have been shared on our social media are absolutely, please allow me very quickly. They are out of control. That's social media it up. People, I usually just laugh at them because people are. I do too. Well, I love when I see like Dave. I love when you go in there.

I'm like, oh, Dave's on one. Okay. So there's one guy just Sergio Gonzalez, who's our. buddy now goes, Lynn Manuel is so full of shit. And then this guy goes, it's a musical. And people know that it's not going to be one to one to one with history just based off the fact that it is a Broadway musical.

Depiction does not equate an endorsement and the vast majority of people just love the music. Sergio comes back. But isn't art supposed to speak truth to power instead of boot looking it? This fucking loser. A Broadway musical by definition of what it is is not going to. to be literal because the entire premise as a whole is theatrical.

Depiction also does not equate to endorsement, and I don't think anybody even knows what Hamilton is trying to say outside of the fact that it features the Founding Fathers, which in itself is just window dressing. It's such bullshit. I don't even know what to say to that. What are you doing?

What are you doing? You have to be posting those and going like, yeah, I hope this ends soon because this is real bad. There is no cope, just a basic understanding of how Broadway works. I'd even know how your comment can be any more extreme if you tried. Oh, man, that Dave comes in. You're embarrassing yourself. Followed by just accept your leader.

Yeah, there is a whole slew of people that are, that's just a musical, but it's like, it is and isn't. There's a couple things going on. It's based on a churnout book, which we've discussed. And so, again, it's. gets people to read the turnout book actually, but also, I don't, I really don't care what you say about like, what's the musical. There's going to be people that are going to walk away thinking that's how it was. Listen, like, I don't know how you can ever argue. I thought Benjamin Franklin was a president. He was. Stop. But come on. You cannot argue that this did not holistically change the opinion of a generation about a guy who actually is a huge problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're right. Okay, so Thomas Jefferson and Madison, who are opposed to what Amethon's doing, go on a month-long botanizing tour. Botanizing? It's something you would do. We're going to check out the plants in America. Hell yeah. That's something you would do. Fuck you.

To see America's native plants, they were actually in truth rallying opposition to, Alexander Hamilton's government plans. This is great. Meeting with men they hoped would stand against him in Congress. It's great. How were the plants, boys? Oh, Hamilton, really good. What'd you see?

Leaves of different shapes and colors. Great. Anything that we could be moving to the great state over here and planting? Poison oak. Uh, okay. Poison ivy. Right. Tomatoes. What a weird list

Those are the main ones we saw Okay And grass That was close I nailed it I think That was close Yeah

I mean I don't know You started with the poison ones Which seems sort of strange I just You panicked Yeah I panicked Big time I panicked

Thank God you said tomatoes Poison roses Stop it Okay Just general poison Jefferson Beavis He was plotting

To set up a monarchy having heard him dismiss the Constitution as, quote, only a good step until something better. That is so fucking crazy to have gone through all this and then be like, I think he's trying to set up a monot. Like, what a crazy... He was trying to. He did one. I know. What a wild thing to go through all that to leave a monarchy

and then be like, you know what, that was pretty good. But they just wanted to not pay taxes to that monarchy. They wanted, if you're, like to start a new marque. It's the problem with all of this shit, which is once you're in charge, then you're like, I mean, corruption. I don't mind it that much now that I'm getting paid. And the rules for the people are weird. Yeah, it just keeps happening. It's uncommon.

I don't like. Every time someone gets there, then someone's like, how about a million dollars? You're, that'd be pretty good. I like that. Yeah, it's real good. So they approached Aaron Burr. Now, Burr has, Burr has no. problems with Alexander, but he had recently unseated Alexander's father-in-law of Philip as a senator.

Okay. And Jefferson knew Alexander resented that and that they would definitely become enemies. He knew Alexander. He knew that he's like, that guy's not going to take his foot off the pedal. Right. You know? So Alexander heard these two guys are gone through the country speaking with members of the lower classes, which is what's really upsetting.

Right. Don't go talk to the mud people. You'll catch mud. Yeah. That's the filth. Disgusting. So he is not that concerned until a journalist, Jefferson had added to the State Department payroll starts publishing satire poking at Alexander. These people hate satire.

And then he gets angry. I'm all for a good joke. Just not about me. any way. Yes. I like it if it happens not. Someone else. That's hilarious. That person. That's so funny. Mind if I do shoes off?

I don't care. I think shoes off here is totally reasonable. Hell yeah. Pants off. You'll do we do pants? Let's do pants off. Kidding? This is, that's way, okay. Let's see the dog. Really disturbingly big. Almost movieish sound of a zipper

Yeah, it does sound like we brought it as like a folly guy Hit the zipper, boys Zipo. Okay, so he's not concerned until a journalist says that these guys doing published, I mean, he's being paid by the government to publish satire about Alexander. That is actually kind of weird. Sure.

In cabinet meetings, the two men were, quote, daily pitted in the cabinet like two cocks. Not the one that you were about to take out, but like the chicken rooster. One rooster and one human penis. Yeah, okay. A cockfight. That's fair. By the way, my first cockfight, have I told you about that? It was just a rooster and some guy slapping his dick on it.

Cockfight. I don't know what you only do right now. Throw to a square space. said. Jefferson was told Washington that Alexander's plan was to create a monarchical state.

It's crazy. And Washington was annoyed by the bickering. Oh, that's what his problem was with? Yeah. And offered to moderate a discussion between the two guys.

He's like, let's sit down. But aren't you, if you're Washington, I mean, forgive me for knowing nothing, but if you're Washington, aren't you like, bro, stop talking about a monarchy? You would think so. Even if you were looking for power, you would be like, shut the fuck up. I am looking for power, but, but I, yeah, I mean, I guess, or maybe he's just like, okay, I don't care.

It's crazy. I'm not going to do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do, I'm going to slowly every 15 minutes, I'm going to take off an article. I love that for us. Yeah. So Jefferson is like, I'm not sitting down with that guy. Right. So Alexander presented his next plan in his 1791 report on the subject of manufacturers.

Here we go. He writes another fucking. God damn. Enough. He's like the guy. He's like the guy that tweets like a book. And you're like, hey, buddy. No, he's the guy.

He's the guy when he does a Yelp review where you're like, bro, are you okay? He's like, my dad and I used to come to these shakies. So needless to say, when I went into the parking lot and realized they drunk it, I was disappointed. Or recipe people. Yeah. Oh, do you know why that happens? Because these people are lonely foodies who are dying for some sort of affection and validation. The first time I smelled mint, my dick got hard.

No, because of Google. Much like comedians doing crowdwork, Google would only boost people if they put a story in front of their recipe. It's the worst It's not even It's not You know what It's not even just the story That's a nightmare

It's that as you're scrolling down You're going Where is it? Where is it? And it's just like Do you like sweeteners? I mean there's literally a model That they have to follow

To put it down at the bottom Don't relate it to crowd work It's the same thing As people who do crowdwork To get video There's some people are very good at crowdwork But nobody cares. Nobody cares about anything.

It's over. What are you doing? Have you seen these people getting droned? They literally are like, ooh! Yeah, I have. Your last moment is your weakest. Yeah. No!

Trying to outrun a drone is your last one. The cameras. Yeah. And then they're like, yeah, we'll throw that online. Yeah. Cool. It's going to be great. It's going to be a good end.

So, now this report, The report on the subject of manufacturers is long. Pretty much ignored or downplayed by Alexander Hamilton's biographers. He very much wanted the hand of the government to control the market. Using a set of tools, he called the means proper. So state subsidies, robust regulations, and tactical export bans. government intervention is the key. And when he says, I mean, essentially this is as anti-communist as it can, I mean, he basically

anti-capital, I mean, anti-free market essentially. Right. Right. So he's just fully into government control. Right. Yeah, there's no meritocracy. So he wanted to encourage manufacturing using federal subsidies given to private investors and through immigrant labor.

By the way. It's kind of exactly what we have. just going to say. It's exactly a little. I mean, boy. That's amazing that we got to him. Yeah, everything he wanted. He was especially into women.

Dude, it's just a Broadway musical. It's not supposed to be serious. He was especially into women and children working. That I get. That I agree with. I like that. I really do. Get him in there.

Women and, quote, women and children would be... This is a psychotic man. The idea that he's like, And the way to do it is through little boys and women. Women and children would be rendered more useful and the latter more early useful approving of all the British inclination to have children quote of a very tender age.

Put to work. What? So pop them out so they can go to the factories? He wants super young kids working. Wow. Once they can grasp. I mean, that's sick. Meaning.

None of this made the musical. Meaning under seven years old. Oh, what the fuck? But even, that is so stupid. So I'm doing a musical on Hitler. Now, it's not, don't take it seriously, because it's a musical.

There's just music about it. Yeah, the ideas are in there, blah, blah, blah. It's really about a dog-loving, funny mustache scamp who love to live underground at the end. Well, as I hide, I'll take a cyanide. Eva!

So, yeah, so under seven years old was the idea. His plan was not... That is just, even from a... From a efficiency standpoint, very stupid. Yeah. So not adopted, but economics professor Christian... You guys, these machines... They are not put together well at all.

Do you understand what you're doing? No. It's terrible stuff. How many fucking times don't have to... tell you. Can I have candy? No, you can't have candy. Look, look, all right. Here's what we're doing. We're building carts. Lots of carts. Okay? So you put the wheel on. Remember, hey. Hmm? Focus. I was thinking about balloons. What the fuck? I saw a balloon yesterday. Shut up. Don't talk to each other about balloons. In the sky. No. Listen to me. Listen to me.

We're building carts. You're here to build cars. You're here to build cars. arts, okay? Can I go potty? Go potty in your pants. How many times you have to say? If you have to go potty, just let it rip. Jesus Christ. All right.

Like, gluck, gluck, like, gluck, like, like, can I go home? No, stop asking questions. Jesus Christ. Fucking kids. Seven was the wrong cutoff. No fucking kids. No fucking kids Quiet, stop doing that

No fucking kids By the way I would just like to say Particularly Australians Aside from all the Crying about losing in the World Cup Their chance are amazing Chance are amazing

Did you see the Walmart one? Walmart was phenomenal Yep, we're going to Walmart And then they all go into Walmart We're getting deported I wish I could remember the name of the guy, but the guy that co-hosts Jim Jeffery's podcast, he was at a game. And I mean, he was on fire. It was fucking remarkable.

He was just like, it was just like Epstein stuff, how fat we are, school shootings. It was really awesome stuff. That's good. And he's just tearing into it. these things and then he quickly just flips it over to Jim Jeffries. It's just like, yeah. Okay, so his plan was not adopted, but economics professor Christian Parenti says the principles of Alexander's plan were utilized by later generations of politicians worldwide.

So like exploit the new groups of people to exploit, essentially. Jefferson Madison disapproved. Alexander wrote six essays calling. Jefferson dismissive of the Constitution and wanting to reduce the national government to a, quote, skeleton of power. Madison wrote 19 essays

accusing Alexander of supporting an elitist system in which the few controlled the fates of the many. He also backed the existence of political parties, which Americans looked down on, but Madison saw as a tool for the unrepresented to be heard.

and he proudly called the Democratic Republican Party, the anti-Hamiltonian Party. Wow. I mean. A whole party that just like shut the fuck up. Yeah. Yeah. That's just like stop.

We get that now kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Washington was alarmed and wrote a worried letter to Alexander detailing Jefferson's and Madison's claims against him. Alexander wrote back a letter 10 times longer, denying the monarchy claims and saying Jefferson should be removed from the cabinet. But he, I mean, that's what he wanted.

And so he knew it was evil. So he's just an evil. Hamilton? Yeah. He is just. Well, it's not evil to him. He truly believes that's the way it should be. But only for selfish personal gain reasons, right? No, he genuinely thinks that the only way a country can be run is by the elites and no one else should have any say.

The idea that you go all this way to try a different system and then just, Throw it out. Well, he never wanted that system. What? The, yeah, the right. Yeah. Then maybe you don't bring him in the room for this shit. My wife, yeah.

I mean, Washington thinks he's a great aide. So Washington's just a shithead. Yeah, Washington sounds like a bit of a shit. Yeah. I mean, we've done what he did with his slave, escape slaves. It's crazy. That is slaves that he owned. It's really bad.

You're not going to paint me into that defending the slave owner corner again. I haven't lived that one down. Alexander and Jefferson also spart over the nation's relationship with Great Britain. Alexander was so desperate to get in Great Britain's good behavior that he went behind Washington's back to meet with an official British official George Beckwith. It was so secret that Beckwith gave Alexander the code name seven. You'll be seven. Seven. which made something Alexander,

something Alexander was working for the British. Because if they gave him a codename, they're like, well, you can only get a codename. So he's fully like a traitor. Well, that's what people think. Some people think. Codename seven. Well, he is, he is a...

Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton. He is a traitor right now because he's going on the president's back, acting as the president's... That's called negotiating. Seven. Welcome, seven. Hello.

You're here. Now, welcome. Hi. Are you six? I'm afraid I'm not. Five. 39. My dad was 69.

Your dad was a hell of an agent. I invented some very strange procedures. Do you know what that means? Yes. You know what it is when people do it. Tits to tummy. Yes. Tits.

I mean, there's more to it. To me, I've never looked at it as anything other than feeling and I sit a tits on the tummy. And I get to put my belly on a chin. It's awesome. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you've ruined the number.

Anyway. You've ruined the number. The meeting. So he's probably not, obviously, a British agent. But he didn't pursue Washington's tuition. in the secret meeting. He wanted, Washington wants the military posts, the British ones in the Western U.S. out.

And he wants reimbursement for slaves that they'd taken during the war. That's so cool. Can we get our money for the people? Can we be free people? Quiet. Said and evolve you. Got any cash.

Hello, I'm 34.5. I'm just a blow job. giving giving people money for freeing slaves is so crazy for stealing slaves well for for well they they they they would take slaves while they were fighting and then and then free them oh yeah and so and so you're like but giving the nerve people be like that's my property and you're like yeah our point is you should have never had it so we're not going to give you you shouldn't give anybody any money for fucking because you took a slave you all It's money.

You got rid of the people we owe. I mean, it's so fucking crazy. Yeah. No, no. Shocking as usual. Well, then I'll go bankrupt. Okay, you shouldn't have a slave. Yeah.

No, then you don't have a good business model. It's like, it's AI. It's like, I can't pay a minimum wage. Well, then don't be a business. Yeah, I'm sorry. You can't afford this. Well, the only way that I can win is exploitation. Yeah, I don't think it's working.

Um, so, So Alexander doesn't come across great. Beckwith leaves the meeting with the impression that America was, quote, desperate for Britain's friendship. Because it's just Alexander giving his own beliefs in the secret of meeting. It's crazy what they're trying to do over there. Disgusting.

After Britain's ambassador goes to meet with Jefferson and is shocked. Do you think Linman Will Miranda just, couldn't he have just got like read like five books? and just been like, okay, this guy's pretty cool. I don't know how you do research on a subject like this without looking at a bunch of different sources. Yeah. But again, the Chernobyl was very popular and people were passing it around. So everyone's like, this is what it is. I don't know why people don't understand that historians, and in this case a guy from Wall Street, when they write a book, they might have some agenda.

Just a little bit more looking around and being like, nah, maybe it just. to do a different one. Yeah. My name is Ben Franklin. I mean, if I wrote a book about Burr, it would just be, you know, people would be like, this kind of want to fuck Burr? Like, it would be really not, it wouldn't be a great historical book. Yeah, right.

So, after Britain's ambassador Mason Jefferson, and he's shocked that Jefferson isn't desperate for Britain's friendship, Jefferson didn't, Jefferson did not like the English, and he called them pompous, quote, carnivorous animals. That I agree with. True. I agree with that. But they were probably like, what? Huh?

You guys suck. What do you mean? We just had a secret meeting. We just talked to, shut up. We just talked to a gent named Seven who said, you're right up our asses. You love us. You want your own monarchy. No.

Yes, that's what we were told. Yes. You're way after it. It's war. We want your base is gone and we don't want to pay. We want money back. the slave thing. There's nobody's good in this.

Terrible. Nobody's good as this is what the history, that should be the history book of the world. Nobody is good in this. Nobody's good in this. Jefferson doesn't want to make deals that would alienate France. So the ambassador, British ambassador,

goes to Alexander, who apologizes for Jefferson. He's like, this guy. This guy, this fucking guy. Seven, get in here. And he agrees to meet secretly, subverting the Secretary of State, whose job it is to meet with other governments, and gives up confidential information about talks with Spain and France. I mean, fully, fully treason.

That's treason. In the summer of 1791. That's amazing. Isn't it? It's just made like, sure Google existed when this musical was being written. You would think so. Something. Yeah.

He probably halfway through someone was like, no, no, he was like a Nazi kind of. well I don't know I've been rhyming his name a lot I'm not going back I don't know you can read the quote from the last episode when we were talking about the veterans not getting paid

and he was like well the fuck him the people who took advantage of the guys getting paid are more patriotic like I don't know you can read that and not go oh turn out's awful he probably had written

like three of the songs he was like fuck it it's got such a good beginning in the summer of 1791. It's such a perfect show for the liberals. Yes.

It's perfect. It's like mid-level rap about a fucking piece of shit that they all told is awesome. There is a thread on the subreddit. Just a lot of people talking about it. Great, the songs are.

Hey, I've said it. I watched it. Drunk during the COVID's at the beginning. Is that what it was called? COVID's the beginning. And I don't even know. Well, I always sometimes I do the thing where I go like during COVID.

Yeah. And I'm like, be careful. Because people like, right, when that ended. But and I was like, I definitely was like, all right. Hell yeah. And then I watched it with you and you were very negative. Very negative. The music's bad.

The music's bad. Lynn Manuel is terrible. That's the key. He is. so bad a performer. He's terrible. He's terrible. You know, the songs aren't great because mostly the guy's singing him and being a part of his

fucking awful. He's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. Terrible. He's really bad. Summer 1791, knock on Alexander's door. He opens it up. And there's a young woman. How about a musical about Lynn Manuel writing it? And it's like a rap about people being like, yeah, but he was a huge piece of

shit. I don't care. The musical's legit. It's just like that where we're like, I'm not going to do more. So it opens this door and there's a young woman named Maria Reynolds. And she's like, I desperately need your help. My abusive husband has abandoned me. Alexander, he flirts with married women a lot. Well, yeah. And unmarried women.

He's a flirt. He's a big flurter. Sometimes you take it further if today's, you know, writings are to be believed. attracted to Maria but also aware that his family is in the house. This is a tough one. Yeah. He said her problem, jerk me off.

Then we can go outside. Quick, in the bush. In the bush. Not that bush. Yeah. Oh, on your bush.

So he calls her situation, quote, an interesting one and said, well, I'll bring money by your house that tonight. I don't love it. That's how we're going to do this. I'm going to swing by with money. All right, look, I'll come over later with money. You know what I mean, right now? You know what I mean? Here's the money.

I'm going to put it in your puss. Here we are. Here's the money. I'm a creepy, creepy, founding father. I bet no one will ever write a musical about me. I really is. Not in a good light host of the time. Pretty bad.

Here's $30. Just fiddle with my balls. I'm married, but I kind of don't care. My wife looks like if Abe Lincoln was a woman. So he goes to the house, knocks on the door at night, quote, She met me and conducted me into a bedroom. I'd be conducted into a bedroom. I took the bill out of my pocket and gave it to her.

Some conversation ensued from which it was quickly apparent that other than pecuniary consolation would be acceptable. Pecunery consolation. I forgot what that word is. I looked it up. But I think that... She just wants money. I think that there's...

He was thinking there might be a vibe. It's sex. Oh, they did fuck. Yeah, I think they're talking about... Pecunary. Would you like to come back to my place for some computery consolations? Pecunery. It's apparent that there's something other than...

The money. Yeah, there's more going on. Right. Yeah. Take the bill out of the other pocket. She needs it, is what he's saying. Right. She wants the full Alex, you know what I'm talking about?

Right. She wants to Bangleton. He kept meeting her for sex after that. We could have gotten there without the looking up of the word. Okay. It helped that Eliza took the kids to visit her family in Albany or, in Chernow's words, quote, abandoned Hamilton. Fuck me. Oh, my God.

What's his deal? He's just trying to excuse infidelity. Right. Everything. infidelity. His stupid wife would leave. Anything that is obviously bad, Chirnau finds a way to write around it.

So he's banging the neighbor, and he's like, his wife left him alone again. Poor Alexander, what was he to do? He shot it on his neighbor's back. He wrote loving sentiments to his wife, like, quote, I cannot be happy without you.

Meanwhile, he's banging the other. That's what happens. When he learned their toddler, James was sick, begged her to, quote, take care of my lamb, but still urged her to not come home yet. But don't come home. No, don't, no, don't. Take care of the lamb. Stay up there with the lamb. The neighbor's going to take care of the skin. I'm fucking all over the house. It's awesome.

As he'd have extreme anxiety over her health if she were to return too soon. Because he's like, don't. I'm so nervous about how you'll be. I'm thinking of you, darling. There we are. There we are. Whispering on it. whispering in a letter. Yeah, exactly writing in the letter what he's doing. My darling, your health is what I worry. Slurp the sack, slurp the sack. My darling, I'm worried that your absence will create,

slurp the sack, slurp the sack? That's good. Toss a finger in it. Come back when you feel healthy and tell my lamb I love him so. Yours lovingly all over your face. I've glazed you. Alexander. Oh, sweet, lick it a little bit.

Now kiss me. Hamilton What? Um Let me scrape the load off This bottom of this letter When she wrote that she Sealed with semen

When she wrote that she wanted to come home Earlier than Plan No you bitch He said I mean nothing I love you She should let him know Before she left home

I need a week Don't allow you yourself No hurry As to injure Either yourself With the children I need to get the smell out Take it slow

I need to get the smell Out of our house Yeah I know you're coming from upstate but go through Pennsylvania. Take a long, long, long time. Maybe Florida. I need to light incense for a number of days before you come back.

Alexander Maria usually had sex at the Hamilton home. Hell yeah. He kept seeing her after, she said. Her husband, James, had returned wealthy from gambling in government securities. She's gambling, too. So he's a good guy too. but her original thing was like she wasn't into the husband. She was like...

Yeah, he abandoned her. Right. So, but now he's back and she's just still next door to him. And he's loaded. He's loaded. Alexander keeps screwing her when his family returns. Sorry, Dave. I believe the term is he continued to be abandoned by his wife.

He kept abandoning inside of his girlfriend. He was abandoned by his wife. And now they started doing it at her house when her husband was out. Nice. That's the room where it happened. I guess back then there's not a lot of choices. Like now you've got hotels and whatever else would be in your car.

But back then, there's not a lot of... People are still idiots. I guess you can walk out of the forest. People are still idiots. People like, people just... I mean, you've seen cheaters. I mean, they made a whole fucking show off of it. It's kind of amazing how...

I'll never get over the idea that people, when they're cheating, they create like a Tinder profile. And you're like, everyone... That's crazy. Everyone can see that. It's crazy. Everyone can see that. It's crazy.

What are you doing? My algorithm for a minute became like fake. I caught my husband. been cheating because I was like this is the best shit in the world. I was having that for a while. Then it was just like, okay, I got it. All right. Thank you. Thank you very much. We're good. You see this one?

What about this guy? The acting's not very good. Yeah, but it's crazy. Yeah. At some point, her man James found out and he confronts Alexander. And he demands $1,000 or he said he'd tell Eliza. Okay. Alexander pays and keeps banging Maria for another five months. Wow.

Eliza gets pregnant again. For a year, he pays James Hush money to bang his wife. Wait, to bang Eliza? No. Oh, to bang the... James's wife. He's paying to bang the... The game.

gambling guy's wife. He's paying for it now. He's paying a fuck fee to the husband's the pimp. That's it. And he's paying to fuck her now. Yeah, that's better. It's more appropriate. It's terrible. And the guy's like, all right. I'm not going to. As long as I get to skim a little out of this situation. I think everyone, I think everyone is getting what they want. I don't agree. Who's not getting what they want? Alexander Hamilton's wife. And I would imagine that the neighbor is banging is also not aware that he's paying a fucker's fee. No, I think she is. She is.

Well, I made a payment. Ready for a load? No. Come on. I just gave you husband $22. Let's go. But eventually, Alexander ends the relationship. You know, it's just become a bit strange the way this all works.

I'm so mad of money. I think we lost the thread here a little bit. I mean, $1,000 is a lot of money back then. Yeah. So James and an accomplice, Jacob Clingman, are arrested and charged with defrauding the government. To get the charges dropped, Clayman told a congressman he had clerked for, whose name was Mullenberg, that Alexander and James were speculating illegally in treasury securities. Congressman Merylundberg cryptic letters between James and Alexander and said James had juicer information.

that would, quote, hang the secretary of the treasury. Mullenberg investigates, and he brings in two others to help him, rep Abraham Venable and Senator James Monroe. Okay. I don't know I didn't have a woman come in for the... Oh. Yeah. No.

They interviewed Maria and James, who didn't reveal the affair, but said they had shocking information on Alexander. He's been banging me. He's been really. Quiet. What are you doing? He's really good. at him. He's really good. We invented

a position. So then they interview Alexander and desperate to prove he hadn't stolen government money, he revealed his affair with Maria. And he was basically saying it because James and him are exchanging money. Right. So it's, and he

doesn't want people to know their exchanging money because it's about an affair. But some other guy is like, that's about government security. So it's a whole mess. Sure. Sorry, it's like a water gate. Yeah, sure. that we got It's kind of something

I'm starting to say more and more throughout the show Kind of a sounds like a water gate Sounds like we've got a water gate on our hands Yeah In which which way do you mean which uh Well it's just like the cover-ups worse than the crime Okay

Sounds like a water gate Crime's not great either I mean I have a crime's not great Cover up that's what gets you Yeah I have a water gate. You know why it's a water gate? We've got a tricky dick.

Don't we cut that out? No, cut it in again. Keep cutting it in a bunch. You know why it's a water gate? We've got a tricky dick. You know why it's a water gate? We got a tricky dick. So he has a James and an accomplice.

Jacob Klingman are arrested in charge with defrauding the government. Right. To get the charges drop, Klingman told as a congressman, he clicked for that Alexander and James were illegal speculating industry. So he's paying him, right? So now this other guy, Merlinberg, brings in two dudes, and they interview James and Marie, who don't reveal the affair, but are like, we have tons of information on Alexander.

And then they interview Alexander. he admits and desperate to prove he hadn't stolen government money he's like I was I've been fucking I've been banging Maria but I never stole it that's what this is this is a fucking this is a fuck thing it's a fuck fee it's kind of a water gate

and then he shows letters between himself Maria and James he's a guy who proof that I'm having sex this is a super weird thing we got going on over here I'm paying this guy to bang his wife I paid him a bangers fee and then I kept banging his wife and I just don't want Eliza to know

And so these two congressmen are like, well, what he's telling us is so fucked up that it's got to be true. Right. With the, yeah, they're like, yeah, okay. So he's probably not doing the really bad thing, which is illegal. Right. Because he's admitting this, yeah. So he shows him letters between them and they believe him. And it doesn't look like he's stolen anything. And Alexander said, as he told them of the affair, they, quote,

delicately urged me to discontinue as it was unnecessary. So they're like, okay, we get it. And then I fucked her on the table. All right. We're good. We really think we should stop. And then I fucked her in the barn. Okay.

And then I fucked her in the backyard. Stop fucking her. Stop fucking her. Stop fucking her. Stop fucking her. I got up on the fridge and she blew me. Don't, well, you mean the freezer box. And don't fuck her.

And I don't ever think freezer box. We did it on a horse. Oh, good Lord. Try it on a goat. The goat. I need a new goat, essentially. But killed your goat? Did it in a creek.

All right. Okay. So stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop pangin'er. Stop banging her. Stop doing all this. Get on the roof. Do you know, swing on the tree. Great. Okay. Look. You're very, it's a real green eggs and ham. Let's just, let's just stop. Up on the mountain. Great. Good for you. Good for you. Out of the other tree. Okay. Great. Good. Good. Good. Both trees. Other lawn. All right. Good. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Look. Just stop. I don't, we don't need that. We're telling you we don't need that information. In the water closet.

What is that even? What is that? That's where we make water. I don't even think is that. Isn't that the toilet? On the stairs. That was weird. Stop, stop telling us.

Stop banging her. Stop telling us and stop banging. I do from the back there. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop banging her. Stop telling her.

I'm asking you very clearly. Stop talking. Stop talking right now. Stop thinking of things to say. We don't care. It's not even I'm thinking of things to say. I'm just saying I remember where... We get it.

Where we banged. We're good. In the butt once. We're good. Anyway, I didn't do anything illegal. Sounds like a water gate. Although the butt thing. That's not illegal.

If that's illegal, we're all going down. It's illegal. That's interesting. He insists on telling them all the details. He just has to tell them. after the investigation is dropped and they promised to keep the affair quiet. We're not going to blow this open on you.

But the head of clerk make copies of all the letters. Oh, that guy was like, Jesus Christ. He seems to have blabbed to Jefferson. So this is when Monica Lewinsky takes the dress to that fucking lady. Lend the trip. And let a trip.

This is Lidda trip. Right. Kind of a water gate. It's a bit of a water gate. Kind of the deep throat. Jefferson had rumors about his own sex life, so he never uses this information. Maria visited Alexander this time,

around this time, to ask for help with James's case, and he asked her to burn all the letters. Okay. It was like, it's nice to see you. Can you burn the letter? Everything. Shortly after Maria divorced James and hired a lawyer, Aaron Burr,

who was known for being sympathetic to women who wanted to be free of their husbands. Okay. In 1792, Washington had memory and hearing loss. He's old. He's getting fucking old. Oh, man, I hate when president starts to get really old. It's great.

He was sick of Jefferson and Hamilton. Did he die and then they pretended he was alive for a month? Yeah. Wouldn't you? Yeah. It's the smart thing to do. He was sick of Jefferson. We just talked to George.

He's really got some great ideas. 20 minutes. He's really doing great. I talked to him for 20 minutes this morning. and he's sharp as attack. I love that we have a government in which there's no mechanism to remove a dead man from office. They just keep reinventing the way that they will just do anything. And you're like, wait a minute.

Now this I thought. And then, but also our reaction is so. It's why the, it's like purging ourselves on like the internet is unhealthy for any sort of change because we're like, I can't believe he's dead. And then it's like, that's kind of all we're going to do about it. You know, like pissy online.

All right. All right. By the way, it's great that he's dead. Yeah. It's great that he's dead. So in 79 and this is a death with no dignity. No. They're just pretending he's alive.

It's dead. They're redoing the floors in his place. But wouldn't the greatest way to honor him be to delay and end up stealing a seat in Congress? It'd be great. Yeah. What a way to honor that man. Well, if Thomas Massey were to take that seat, that would just be the greatest thing ever.

Not ever. It's a low bar. All right. So Washington is getting old. He has memory and hearing loss. He's sick of Jefferson and Hamilton, always sniping in cabinet meetings and in articles. He didn't want to die in office, knowing Americans needed to see power peacefully change hands. But Alexander, he knows how to get to Washington.

And so he starts working him to get his plans for America done. So he plays on the president's fears and warns him that the public would see his retirement as, quote, the greatest evil that could befall the country. Wait, what? And that not running for his second term would be critically hazardous to his legacy. Wait, what? Yeah, everyone's going to hate you unless you run again. Everyone, everyone, everyone's going to fucking hate your guts. I want to die.

Well, they'll be happy with that. I don't want to live or I don't want to do it anymore. Why don't you care? I do, but I'm dying. Okay. I have no teeth I can't hear. My hair's super weird. And you're running again.

No. That's a thing. No, I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yes, or you go back in the basement. No, I don't want you go in the basement. That's with a wretch bite.

Well, that's where you're going. Oh, no, I'll run again. Oh, no. You're still going in the basement. Oh, yeah, I'm not a basement. Wow I have a bit of a event set up

where you fight rats What are you talking about What are you talking about? Eventually it'll be a I'm the first president Many years from now It's going to be a play And then a book

And then a About me fighting Wax And then a musical Racks fighting What? Rats fighting Washington Oh what That's what makes a sense

General versus Rats is what it's called That's the song. Oh, no. Yeah, it'll be good. And it was time for the general versus the rats. How does it go? Look, here I am in a basement.

It's tough to understand where I'm at. Oh, no, look out. A rat. I'm going to fight him. I'm going to punch him. And I'm going to win because my name is George Washington. I got weird teeth. They hurt my mouth.

That's the way. A rat's kind of a big mouth. you're done come on you have an off-wrap day I'm sweating you're having an off-rap day or as we call it a crap day

so he wants to retire Alexander he manipulates him that's what we're talking about he manipulates Washington and said his retirement would be seen as quote the greatest evil

that could befall the country and not running for second him critically hazardous legacy and it works Washington begins the second term in 1793. It's a Biden. Yeah, it's Biden. The French Revolution led to another big break

between Hamilton's Federalists and Jefferson's Republicans. Conservatives were dismayed by the bloodshed and also that Aristocrats in France had their power taken. Oh, God, this must have been awesome. Wouldn't that have been the thing? It's just awesome.

Alexander was very upset that King Louis the 16th who supported the American Americans during the revolution had his head chopped off. It was a tough one. Seemed like a nice guy. Now, this was the invention of the guillotine? No, I've been around for a while. They just really were like, that wasn't the first. Could you imagine me the first guy killed by a guillotine? But I actually think this was where they stopped after this.

They're like, no more. They like did it. The next few years were crazy blowing. Yeah, yeah. But then after that, they were like, this is over. Oh, yeah. They were like, okay, that got weird. It's been crazy.

Yeah. We really, well, we had a hell of a run. That was awesome. Boy, do we have a run. That was awesome. We peaked. Yeah, that was the shit. So he's horrified by the assaults on Christianity, but Jefferson is cheering it on.

He saw in the French Revolutionaries, the spirit of the American revolutionaries, and thought Lewis being killed by his people, was a warning to the tyrants. Which he is one of. Makes sense. During its revolution, France was pulled into the war with Prussia and Austria. And in 1793, Great Britain joined in the fight against France. This war was Stoke divisions in America.

Federalists wanted a British victory and a return to the aristocracy. And maybe the monarchy in France, Republicans backed France, wanted liberty. and the people to vanquish every monster that would act like their dictator. Historians say the division was so bitter it was almost like the Civil War. Alexander wanted to break the Treaty of Alliance with France. Jefferson does not.

Surprisingly, Washington sided with Jefferson, and his cabinet unanimously said the U.S. must not participate on either side, and the American people wanted to help France, a Frenchman named Genet was traveling around working Americans into a frenzy, and it created a proliferation of Republican societies who dressed in French fashion and called one another fellow citizen rather than Sir. What?

So there's French cosplay? Yeah, like French fetish. Hello, fellow citizen. And they're pro. They're pro aristocracy? Yes. I feel like this guy is playing Hamilton's side. I think he is.

He's like, he's like, this is. I mean, like, we love France, so we're going to dress up like them and greet each other as fellow citizens. Yeah. Gareth, there are things in life that you don't want to be transparent, like, well, especially your search history, swimsuits, the outside of cows, I think. but when it comes to your wireless bill gareth transparency is everything that's why mint mobiles wireless plans have no gimmicks no gotchas just high speed data reliable coverage on the tmobile 5g network and right now all plans are $15 a month even unlimited and you said they wouldn't be and they are i never said that you never said that no way will they're just

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They love it. Just to show Americans were always the dumbest idiot. They also called one of their fellow citizen rather than sir and called on the U.S. to help friends. The society is scared Alexander. He saw them as similar to the Sons of Liberty. So he wrote essays. Seven in the summer of 1793.

Dude. Someone just cut this guy's hands off. Go to the fucking beach. Jesus Christ, man. Just someone cut his hands off. Seven fucking essays. says it just shut up. Stop.

It's like fucking Stephen King on a cocaine. I was just going to say it is. It's like a Cokehead writing. Yeah. He's got cocaineed. He defriended Washington's policy of neutrality and said France had started. Sorry, he defended. Since they did, the U.S. was not bound by the Treaty of

Alliance to help. As a historian put it, quote, a staple of right-wing politicians for generations to come. Anyway, Alexander insinuated that any American questioning Washington's foreign policy was being disloyal.

There it fucking is. There it is. You hate America. Let us go into Iraq. You hate the troops. You hate everything. You hate freedom. Get the fuck out if you've got a problem with it. It never ends. We've always been meant to have Jesse Waters.

Yeah. Like it's just always been it's in the DNA. We're supposed to just constantly, one group of people is supposed to tell us that if we don't support everything blindly, even if it's killing a bunch of innocent children, that we hate this country and we need to get the fuck out. And the other side is so afraid they're going to lose that argument.

They don't say anything or counter it. That sounds good. At the end of 1793, Jackson quit and retired. Jackson? Sorry, Jefferson. Okay. Calling his days spent in Washington's cabinet a, quote, useless waste of time. Right.

As a parting gift, Jefferson Lackie and Congressman William Giles began an investigation into Alexander's conduct as Treasury Secretary. He's going to find some shit. Alexander was thinking about quitting, but now felt he had to stay. If he left too soon, he worried that it would look like he's running off, right? Right. Well, it also feels like if Jefferson's leaving, he's like, all right. He's bested a foe. yeah

he even asked Congress who's strengthening the investigation into his conduct saying quote the more comprehensive the more agreeable will be to me

that's a good like that's a good like it's crazy well it's a good like lying position where you're like yeah no God look at my house

there's nothing there like thinking that they'll be like right he wants me to go in there too much it's that kind of shit right um

Congress does, asking him to submit expansive reports, proving he did not speculate with government funds. I didn't. No. He was cleared by Congress. Cool. But he's very angry that Washington did not go to bat from him during the investigation. Still, not retiring because there were two new crises. One was the reaction to his whiskey.

tax for farmers. Right. Which we talked about. Which we talked about in... Two. Number two. West of the Appalachians, they did not like the government. Britain still had several outposts from which they armed Native Americans making...

So funny to still be hanging in there like, excuse me. Please go fight them a bit more, would you please? This will be fine. Please go get them. Why don't you go fight them? Well, huge, huge babies. Please go. We're making pies.

And they weren't happy America was strengthening the relationship with Great Britain. So, right, you're talking about like vets who fought in the war. Right. What the fuck are we doing? Oh, hello. There's somebody in here. Britons had several outposts from which they named Native Americans making armed, sorry, not named, making farmers' lives very difficult. Okay.

And they're not, they weren't happy Americans. Americans were strengthening the relationship with Great Britain. They hated the whiskey tax to help pay for state debts. Distillers and farmers used whiskey as a currency, and the tax was wiping out their profits. They used whiskey as a currency. That's great. How much do you want for that? Four?

Four of the horses parts? Four. Okay. You take four of horses parts, and then, Let's figure out from there. Four. Yeah, all right. And it's like a push fork.

Four, not fork. Okay. Four. All right. Hold on a second. Hold on. What are we doing? Four?

I'm going to just get a bunch of here's seeds. And I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Because I am scared right now, dude. It should be. Make me hear me. Have you seen Dexter? Shut up. Are you text her? No, I'm a baby.

I'm going to call my dad. Okay, that's really... Papa? Yeah. Oh, you were dead. Nope. Oh, my God. Hey, man.

What's fine? I gotta go, though. Wait! What did we do last night? The tax was wiping out their profits. farmers. They knew it benefited the wealthy, especially East Senators, and some historians say this is Alexander's plan, move the wealth from the poor to the wealthy and more economic power from the anti-federalist West to the pro-federalist East. Many in Congress had warned that it would

lead to bloodshed. Okay. And it did. Hey, hey. Westiners beat, tart and feathered tax collectors, especially in Pennsylvania. where there was organized armed resistance. Tarring and feathering is, we're ready for it to get back in the mix. It's just so fucked up. It's a lot. Well, look, let's be honest. You don't need the feathers.

We probably can't afford the feathers anymore. But the taring was awesome. Just the, the feathers is fun. The feathers is why you do it. You do it for the fun part. It's the home alone. I tar on my foot yesterday. What?

What's going on? Are you okay? Where are you living right now? Well, Southern California. If you go out on the beach, you're going to step on a glob of oil at some point. It's going to stick out of your foot. It's called nature. That's not.

That's nature. Ruined it all. Tar. How have we not outdone tar? We've not beaten tar. I love tar. We're still like, tar I'll do it. Throw a little tar on that.

So it, as expected, it leads to. to bloodshed. People are beat, tarred, feathered, tax collectors are, special in Pennsylvania. A year and a half after the tax,

not one cent had been collected. Yeah, because the tax collectors are like, we're probably not going to pursue that any longer. I got tarred and feathered, so I'm not.

They turn Chad into a tarred rooster. I know. Oh, yeah. Tough language there. They're going to close. that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Super fucking. There is. There's that empathy. He's a tarred rooster. Tard rooster. No. No, it's not. So Alexander tells Washington it was time to protect the government and, quote.

Look, it's finally time to protect the government. We're under attack. And quote, vigorous and decisive measures were needed if they didn't want the disobedience to spread. Washington disagreed and tried lowering the tax and things calmed down a little. bit. What an idiot, though. But that's the last time that worked. Yes. Higher taxes is how you do it. That's right. Yeah. On the regular people. Alexander also- Get the farmers out of here. They're just so, the farmers are just so, what do we need them for? We don't need them anymore.

This country does not need a farmer anymore. We have a bunch of stuff to eat. Stop with the farmers already. What do we have to eat? They're so annoying. What do we have to eat? They're a bunch of tarred roosters. What do we have to eat? There's so much to eat. What are we eating? Popeyes.

Love magic from Popeyes. We're good, dude. That's fine. So he also wants to remain in the cabinet because Britain was seizing American ships. 250 American vessels have been taken and crew were forced to join the Royal Navy. Alexander was frantic to not have this increased anti-British sentiment America. Yeah. Which is a big deal.

which they should be because of the whole ship stealing thing. I'm starting to see a lot of negativity towards the Brits in America. Where's this coming from? Well, the thing is, is like he was worried that that the anti-British shit might lead to his British-inspired financial system being dismantled. Sure. Which is a real long-time goal. And under Washington, the army grew from 500 soldiers to 5,000.

Good. Madison, now house leader, was disgusted by Alexander's ability to turn every crisis, quote, into a resource for accumulating force in government. Okay. Washington considered sending Alexander to negotiate peace with Great Britain, but Republicans thought his love of the British would be a problem. They're right. He's seven. That's correct. I mean, they're like, yeah, of course. Oh, that would be perfect.

I mean, that would be perfect. I'm sorry. So he picks John Jay. And that pissed off farmers way to Jay as much as Alexander. And Washington called Pennsylvania a Pennsylvania rep to a meeting to find a way forward. But Alexander insisted that Washington needed, quote, an immediate resort to military force. Now again, we're talking about protesting farmers. Right.

Not like an enemy, like a war. Well, no, but I mean, but a dastardly group of people who really just seem to be out for their own. And again, there's not, like, let me ask you this. Do we need food anymore? Yes. Do we? Yes. I feel like we're post-farmor, dude.

We need food. Not in the same way. Oh, fuck. It's fine. We have so much corn. We don't need any more lettuce. We're good. We did that.

Elon's coming out with a paste. We're all going to be pasty boys. Please stop talking. It's going to be tasty pasty. I think we're going to be fine. I think the thing is. Why is your voice going on? Because I'm freaking out.

We're going to die. That's right. so he writes Washington report calling the Western Farmers Refusals to pay. Can you imagine the dread you get when an Alexander Hamilton report comes to you're like, I was going to go out later.

That's the weekend. So he called the Western Farmers refusal to pay the whiskey tax treason. The rebellion needed to be crushed by a force of knowledge and 12,000 soldiers. God, he sucks. He does suck. He wrote, I mean, these guys

just protesting. He wrote anonymous letters for papers. He's Stephen Miller. Yes. To convince the public that the tax protests were part of a dangerous conspiracy to drive the U.S. to war. Public sentiment began to shift against the rebels,

and in the end, Washington agreed with Alexander. 13,000 militiamen were put on active duty. Wow. He is Stephen Miller. He's so bad. Isn't he? I mean, he's very like he just

he's just worried about his own shit he's bad we've just just been fucked from the beginning so it's time to lead the soldiers to Pennsylvania and Alexander puts on his military uniform

oh cool and left a pregnant eliza and rode out with this new army I can't believe he's still loading like you know what I mean Washington Washington does

Washington does not want to kill Americans Hamilton does and he bails so he's on it until he gets to fill or near his house. Right. About Vernon, he's out.

Actually, I'll go, I'll probably go here. I just saw my... I'll go in here. I just saw my pool. I'm going to go in here. General Henry Lee was put in charge and Alexander whipped up bloodlust

amongst the troops and he said those are willing to pay the tax were, quote, wicked insurgents. This is crazy. And those who resisted should be skewered, shot or hanged. This is crazy. foreigners were to be deported.

To go and fight a fucking... You're going after farmers? Yeah. And what are they? Did they have a militia? Are they ready? Is there a farming? Well, yeah.

I mean, not as well equipped, but they're going to have an army of some sort. A farming. Please call it a farming. You have an army of some sort. It's a farming. Sharmie. Worse. Rarmie for the ranch?

Stop doing it. Warmy? No. Foreigners are going to be deported. He had Federalists in Congress lobby to make it legal. to confiscate farmers' property, hunt them, and kill them as outlaws. They killed them, hunt them and kill them. On the way, he ordered supplies taken from civilians to feed soldiers,

many of whom were nearly caught naked and starving. That's okay? That's very okay. We want that. He did not get bloody revenge. He usually outnumbered. The rebellious farmers never attacked. Of course, they didn't.

It's a giant arm. me. Men were rounded up and interrogated by Alexander for hours, sometimes days. 20 or so men were marched into Philadelphia. 20 or so?

20 or so, yeah. Not a lot. We got them! That's not anybody. Look at this. Yeah, there's like... The enemy. I can count them. Disgusting. I don't know what we're doing.

We're trying to get there the worst. Look at them. No, they're just farmers. No, there. So, look. That one's got Oshkosh on. Rip the masks off. I'm going to go bang their wives.

Just to send a message. So these 20 guys... What are you doing? Our march to Philadelphia. Even the old sick were, quote, forced to run through the snow in chains. In the end, two are convicted. One had cognitive issues,

and Alex wanted to make an example of them as traitors. but Washington then pardons them. Real weird stuff going on here. And then in a state of the union, Washington blamed all on Republicans agitating the Western populace. But it's Hamilton. But, oh, the farmer rebellion? Or the move of bringing an army to the farmers? No, the farmer.

The farmer rebellion. Yeah, the farmer. He's blaming it on like agitating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus just being like, just fucking let them be fair. So Washington was really not very good either. No. It's crazy, dude.

No, they're rich bad guys. I mean, it does, I'm not trying again. But it does sound like Stephen Miller Trump. You got an old guy, probably incontinent, who's just listening to a younger guy who's just a real little prick. And he's just going, like, we must get the farmers. And he's like, go get him. Yeah. It's pretty cool.

Yeah. Yep. Classic America. It's called bookending. So, of all those guys, only two are convicted. One's cognitively impaired. Yeah, one or cognitive, the other. He pards both.

And in his next state of the union, Washington blames it all on Republicans agitating the Western population. Right. Alexander got word that Eliza had miscarried, and she left with guards to keep him safe from anger crowds. He left with, I mean, he left with guards with him. Who did? Hamilton.

Hamilton. So he has to travel guards not because of the crowds. People are like, you're the worst. It's not in a musical, by the way. But again, it's a musical. It's not supposed to be real. It's just fun. Have you seen my new Pulpot musical?

Oh, I love that. Oh, my God. I'm making a musical. Oh. It's a Mussolini rendition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great. It's really good. It's really great.

It's going to be great. People are writing these down. I'm going to do this. Musical. So, shortly after he tells Washington, he's going to be leaving the cabinet. And the main reason was, he's got to. I suck. And everyone hates me.

And I've fucked everything up. And I'm purely evil. And everything I've done is so bad. And I'm an idiot. And honestly, the fact that I'm even just rooting for these things after we went through all this to get away from it. I'm a selfish piece of shit who only fights from me. I was fucking my

neighbor's wife on my kitchen island way too much. I gizzed my pants. It's just a whole thing. I just have been really just difficult the whole time. I declared a war on farmers. On farmers. The people who were in charge of giving us the food because they were working with whiskey training.

I mean, I have been a terrible, horrible... You shouldn't even be here! I forced you to keep going. I mean, I suck. I'll tell you what's not going to happen in the future. No guy's going to write positive stuff about me. And even if he does, nobody's going to put it to music because that would be an absolute dereliction of art. I don't even know if that's a term because I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking moron. I have a black evil heart and I suck. So I got to go

I got to go back to my wife I'm pretty sure she's a ghost at this point Somehow I keep fucking throttling babies in her And I'm like ain't down And I'm a fucking dumb ass So I gotta get out of here I think this country would have had a shot If it wasn't for me

Anyway I got a Yeah no great speech Thank you So after the miscarriage All right I'll stay he tells Washington he would be leaving the cabinet. And the main reason was his huge amount of debt. He thought he could climb out in a few years and it just didn't work.

It's so funny to think of having debt so you leave office. Yeah. Bizarre. Yeah. Just hang in there. A few months into retirement, John Jay came back with the J. The J. treaty and Washington didn't like it. He wanted the Bush to relinquish their, the British, sorry,

he wanted the British to relinquish their outposts in the West, which already said, right? Release captured soldiers and repay Americans for the slaves they took. I mean, I guess maybe some people hearing this are like, oh, that's weird. Washington was like the worst slave owner. He is really awful. Yeah. Love slaves. Love doning. Didn't like losing. Yeah. He had wanted the British to...

None of that was out there. None of that was there inside the John Jay Treaty. So all the stuff that Washington wants is not in the J. Treaty. Right. It's other shit. Right. The treaty helped America avoid war, but heavily favored the Brits. So Washington sends a short note asking Alexander's opinion.

Good. Go to that guy. And he wrote back 6,000 words. What the fuck? What the fuck? It's a lot. What a bored loser. He is such an annoying guy. He's just annoying.

He would have loved Twitter, though. Oh, God. So he thinks it's pretty good. Washington knew the Republican press would be vicious if it knew the contents too early. Okay. So he keeps. he keeps at it it keeps it secret

I mean until it gets ratified the vote was right along party lines federalists went to sell the treaty to America Washington needed Alexander's help in the summer of 1795 he speaks in favor of the J treaty in front of a large crowd

on the steps of New York City Hall I've done that they responded with quote hissings coughings and hootings some just said TB Hey, hissers, just boo. It's so much better.

I'm going to cough. Okay, so there's a big crowd. He's given a speech in front of City Hall. They start hooting and fucking hollering at him. He keeps talking. So people pick up stones and they're throwing up. Good. Good.

One called him a cowlough. Howard, who helped the Tories, he challenged that man to a duel. Okay. Oh, a man challenged him to a duel at half an hour, and Alexander said he'd already had a dual plan for that time. I'm unfortunately booked in a half hour. I'm already duly. I have a duel then.

I don't stop. I have a dueled. I have a 2.30. I have a 3.30. I could do a 4 or a 4.30. I'm a 25 hour a day duel guy. I'm ready to go. I'm just going to stay on my mark.

Alexander said he'd already had a duel. plan for that time, but there that he'd gotten in touch and then he got in touch about arrangements, but nothing ever came at that. Right, just the fake duel. After that when he spoke about the J treaty, Alexander made sure the crowd was full of

merchants and federalists. Hey, all right, a home game. This kicks ass. He wrote essays. Guess how many? Oh, fuck. I mean, he's really going for it now,

So 10? Higher. 20? Higher. No. 40? Oh, just a little bit lower. 35?

No, more. 38. Yeah. Fuck. God damn it. I hate it. You know what this is? This is the story of a man who hates his wife.

This is really what it is. He's just fucking everyone else. And anytime he's at home. He's like, I got it right. I got to work. I can't do it. Jesus Christ, leave me alone.

I hate you. So he's just sitting in a room just banging, banging out these fucking manuscripts. From all indications, he did love his wife and family a lot. No, he didn't. No, he did not. No, he really? No, he didn't. They really say that.

No, who said that churn out? No, that's really believed by most people. Well, I, well, you know why he loved her? Because he never saw her. He was fucking the neighbors or writing. He was either traveling being a, being a con or he was writing or he was banging. She was playing like, you want to come to bed?

I can't. I have another five essays to write. Short ones? Short one. You can't write a short essay? Eliza, get out of here. Oh. So he writes 38 essays with the colleague and this turns the tide enough that Washington

finally feels comfortable signing the J treaty, giving Alexander credit for his victory. and privately saying that he wished he was still in his cabinet. Even Jefferson, who hated the outcome, was impressed with how Alexander had swayed public opinion, calling him a colossus. Yeah, but he just like, eventually you'd just go like, fine, fine. Fine as far as...

Fine as far as you're just like, shut up. Oh, yeah, okay. Shut up. Yeah. Fine. I think you're right. So Washington asked for Alexander's help again to help write the farewell address, published six months before he left office. Okay.

Alexander peppered his bits in. He hoped that they might help the federalists look good of the next election. Right. He called those who dissented from the administration unprincipled men. Okay. This is so reminiscent. It urged friendliness to Great Britain and lightly praised Alexander's economic system.

Republicans hated it and saw it as pure partisanship. It's crazy. This is the first one. You would think we would be like okay for like 40 years. Yeah. Right away though, it's just like, eh. I mean, this guy did so much damage. Stephen Millery. I don't mean to

overuse that, but it's very much like a little dipshit twerp acting for selfish reasons because he's just kind of real into his own ideology that seems like it's overall a cancer. Yeah.

And he hates his wife. In the election of 1796, the federalist running was Vice President John Adams. For Republicans, there were a few. Jefferson Aaron Burr and Burr. and Burr got pushback from Republicans and Federalists. Powerful Southern Railroad,

powerful Southern Republicans like Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe, saw how much Burr was likened in the North and worried he would become president. So to keep a Southerner in the White House, they worked to ruin his chances. What the fuck is with you guys? What do you mean? Let me run.

No, we, no. Just because I'm popular. Why are you pushing back so much? It would be better if you ran for less. Why are you in sin? Let me ask you a fucking question. Okay. Why don't you just let me fucking try in earnest?

Instead of always fighting back and pushing back, let Bird do his thing, okay? I'm so fucking sick and tired of you powdered wig motherfuckers thinking that you can put your fingers on the goddamn scales. If Hamilton's fingers aren't inside one of his fucking names, is twarts. Okay? He's always

putting his fingers on the scales. Enough. Now, when did you become Bill Burr? That was established

to the pre- that's my burr, okay? That's how my my Aaron Burr is Bill Burr, all right?

Okay. Leave me alone. All right, all right, I cannot fucking believe people like this fucking piece of shit

more than me. Fuck you, Dave, by the way. Okay. You suck, too. Okay. So, powerful southern Republicans like Jefferson Madison Monroe saw how much Burr was like in the north and worried he'd become president.

So they're ruining his chances. When Alexander Herr wants to run for president, he denigrated him to the electoral college. Which should be very validating for Burr. Calling him, quote, unprincipled both as a public servant and man, a public and private man. sorry, who stood for nothing but what suits his interest and ambition.

Thou doth protest too much. Yeah, it's a politician. Well, it's also, you mean he's you? Yeah, yeah. He hated Burr since he defeated his father-in-law for Senate. Right. And it attacked him relentlessly, publicly and privately. And friends found Alexander to be warm, funny, and generous.

But he would not tolerate disloyalty and he held grudges. Yeah, he sucks. He believed Burr was devoid of principles saying, quote, I felt it a religious duty to oppose his career. This is so important from God. It's just so crazy. Burr, not a fan of mudsling, just didn't respond. Right.

He's like, I'll be over here. I don't need to talk to this fucking loser. Alexander attacks on Jefferson and 25 essays. You, you, you, you, you're absolute. Like, even if you like whatever about him, this is the worst person. This is an Angie's list, man. It's really bad. He called him a dangerous man who wanted war with England, a plagiarist, and said he had sex.

The staff took a long time to drop my food off, and that I didn't care for. And when it arrived, it was a little cold. And said he had sex with black women. Whoa, what the fuck? And delighted in the cruelties of the French. French religion, sorry, revolution. He appealed to southern slave voters, quote, were I a southern planter...

This is what Hamilton says? No. This is what... Yeah, sorry, it's what Hamilton says about... Burr. Yeah, right. Where I is southern planter owning Negroes, I should 10,000 times more be alarmed at Mr. Jefferson's ardent wish for

emancipation that Mr. Adams' system of checks and balances. It worked. Federalist John Adams was elected with Jefferson as VP. Because the voting, right? No. By the way, I like that system better. That we can vote for vice president. Yeah, I like that number two becomes the vice president. I 100% agree. It's just like. No, no, more than that. If you're going to have these four people run, yeah, whoever gets the highest votes is president. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. That you have that and then number two is the vice president. And these philessensians. these fucking two fight it out. Yeah.

And then, you know, like, if you don't like it, then we got a solution. Yeah. But like, but like, yeah, put it before best. Because the whole thing now is we're like, oh, fuck, what then, Vance? I mean, there's definitely been a few elections in my life where people like, the vice president's the best one. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. And the last election. Yes. It was very clear. Yeah. No, Vance was the reason. I agree. I mean, he's just like charismatic.

He's got it. He's cool. He's so funny. I was seeing a waltz. Whoa. Oh. Oh, I don't know. Advance is the one who kind of made my nipples big.

He dilated my tities. Anyway. Gareth Adelop is brought to you by Squarespace. All in one website, platforms that's going to help you stand out and succeed online. They do everything. We've been working with Squarespace. We don't stop working. time. We never started. All of our websites over Squarespace. Why? Because it's super easy to use. There's

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Whether you're building internal tools, AI agents, automations, or entirely new products, the Notion Developer Platform gives you a flexible foundation to work from. Learn more about Notion's developer platform today at notion.com slash AMP. That's all lowercase letters. Notion.com slash amp, AMP, to try Notions developer platform today. Notion.com slash amp. So Adams is president, Jefferson's VP, laughing over Burr's pathetic loan vote.

Alexander wrote that the result would be, would quote, not a little mortify Burr. Adams kept Washington's cabinet, which Alexander loves. one was the best man at Alexander's wedding another worked with him at the treasury and another he knew from his army days so he's got a real warm room that's a good cabinet right these are my boys right

secretary of state John Marshall was a big fan of of Alexander's once saying sitting next to Alexander made him feel like quote a mere candle besides the sun at midday Now you've said that about me. What? Oh.

Isn't that another way to say someone's useless? Awesome. Do you want me read it again? Yeah. A mere candle beside the sun at midday, they constantly wrote to Alexander for a guy. What am I doing? So he is saying it's like having a candle lit at midday, which to me sounds. Right.

That sounds useful. Oh, he feels right. Sorry. He feels like he's a candle in the shadow. of the power of the sun. Hamilton's the sun. He's a mere candle. Right.

Cool. They constantly wrote to Alexander asking for guidance. I would never write anything to Alexander. Gentlemen, where do I start? Keep it brief. I have 17 pages. The year was 1731.

I wrote a 19 page letter about your doorbell. I wrote a book about your letter. they constantly wrote to Alexander asked for guidance one said Alexander the rough draft of Adams' first state of the union for edits so the entire cabinet are Hamilton guys

right the secretary of war told Alexander to think of himself as still a member of the captain he won of us he won he did win another said he listened to whatever orders Alexander gave him so these men have no loyalty to Adams who actually

they actually hated him. Right. Basically. Adams tried to make things nonpartisan and invited Jefferson and Madison to go on a diplomatic trip to France. Right, right. They both said no. Okay.

When Alexander heard, he told his cabinet boys to thwart any partisan efforts of Adams. So they all threatened to resign over the mission requests. And one day a story about Alexander's affair. with Maria Reynolds was printed with copies of the document he'd shown the three men who questioned him in 1792. It was written

by a notorious gossip editor James Calendar worst of all to Alexander was that calendar insinuated the whole affair story was a ruse that it's the payments right to fuck the wife.

They think that so they're He's saying they know that I was paying off this woman. Right. And they're using it to make it seem like I'm doing speculation. Uh-huh. Right. Which he was worried about.

Alexander was enraged. Hirting his wife and family was bad, but tarnishing his political reputation was worse. I also love the guys who do all the terrible shit. And then are like, telling my wife, telling my wife what I did. Do you have any idea how much? pain you're causing my family by telling them what I did. Clinton was really like really just like next level of all that shit. I've been through enough.

I've been the victim of all my scandals. I did not have sex with that woman. That 22 year old life that I ruined has been one of the hardest things I've had to go through. And when I say hard. when I tasted the cigar that I put inside of her badge that was one of the toughest moments of my life when I got caught and it was the tasty it ruined cigars for me because every time I put a regular cigar in my mouth

I think man that thing does not taste like intern Poon it's been so difficult I really desperately wish you had not said that Well, I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying to relate to you, David. Dave, you ever had to say, listen, it's like the old saying goes. Cigars for pooing, cigarettes go the back. Nobody says that.

Cigarettes go in the asshole. Cigars go in the front tuffed. Is that why it's called the cigarette holder? I'll tell, well, let's, listen. Listen, did you know that if you find the right pussy, it can trim the end off your cigar? It's a cup. No, that's why they call it the cooter cutter. Begging you to stop talking.

That's why they call it the cougar cutter. You know what? We are going to impeach you. Well, peach me. By the way, I'll tell you what. When I went down on her, it tasted like a, mm, peach. What? Yum.

Stop talking. Yummy, yummy, yummy. All right. I shot it on her head like Lincoln. Hurting his wife and family was bad, but tarnishing his political reputation was worse. Congress found him innocent years ago. and he knew being accused of stealing government funds could end any future political moves he wanted to make. Friends and allies told him to stay silent, especially since he was cleared.

Responding's just going to get more attention. So he's going to respond. But a biographer, but as a biographer called his, quote, feverish, sometimes even grotesque, concerned for his reputation, took over. Okay. He couldn't help himself. Quote, I'm obliged to. to publish everything. I obliged.

Everything. Sure. Is a play by play of his affair with Maria Reynolds. And he's doing it. Why? Because he thinks it gets him off the speculation accusation? It allows, he's like,

this will allow me to continue working in politics because I'm not a crook. I'm just having sex with a woman. And bang for it. He tried to avoid blame for continuing the fair, saying he was reluctant to stop having sex because he was so distraught by the idea of ending it. Is it possible that that's what Chernow loves him because they have the same thought

process of fucking being gross? Wait, what was the Chernow thing? I don't remember. Well, but just all of Chernow's conclusions he reaches are of this. Right, right, right, right. Like, strange. Well, they're just like gross. Yeah.

I couldn't stop fucking. Perverted. Yeah, right. Oh, okay. Okay. He cast himself as the victim, saying he'd been targeted by her husband, James. He said if he wanted to steal from the treasury, he would have stolen much more and picked a much smarter co-conspirator. Right.

Always. He claimed James entrapped and extorted him and used Maria as bait. Well, why'd you fuck the bait, dummy? That's your issue. Are we still in part three? Yes, we're still in part three. We're getting close. We're getting close.

It's a long part three. This was the worst tactic he could have taken. Yeah. Some friends were absolutely disgusted. Henry Knox called the confession, quote, humiliating in the extreme. This is like when Clinton did. Yeah. It depends what is is.

Yeah. And the sex, like, yeah, did not have sex. That depends on what your definition of is. Another friend asked why he would, quote, degrade himself in the estimate. Do you imagine Clinton's face when they were like, there's, you come on the dress. He was like, oh, shit. She didn't wash the dress. Another friend asked why he would, quote, degrade himself in the estimation of all good

men and scandalize his family to clear himself of charges which no man believed. I'm an idiot. And I suck. And I'm selfish. I can't stop writing. I can't put a pen down. I can't. It's crazy. Instead of quieting skepticism, it increased it. James's wife raped me. People said the only reason he would write such a confession was to hide something worse. What? He divulged every dirty detail, which was read by Eliza and everyone they knew.

I mean, could you imagine? Again, at the beginning, it was like, I can't believe you would do this to my wife, but like he's making. She's like, I read it. I'm so sorry they put you through this, baby. You never did that to me. Baby, I'm so sorry they did this to you. Never let me ride you. This is so bad.

She was writing all the time. I mean, just, I had, well, look, I'm sorry. I'm just. You guys did role play? I've been like, U.B. Jefferson, I'll be, you know. But I've been saying that for a while. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. There's something you're missing here.

Give me your hand. Okay. I don't like you. I don't care about you. and I hate you. Okay. And if anyone ever writes anything about this that says that I love you, they're just stupid. Okay.

I don't care about your feelings. Okay. I like me. What do you want for dinner? I'm going to really love to go down on the neighbor. I don't know, pot roast. Whatever. Who cares?

Hurry up. I'm going to write a letter about myself to me. I bet he did that. Oh, dear, it's Alexander. You are tremendous. So he wrote the one reason who's saving with Maria after husband confronted was to spare Eliza hurt if the story came out. I kept fucking her, so my wife would find out.

Let me tell you. I had to fuck to save my wife. I had to fuck the neighbor for Eliza to be okay. And that was, talk about a high-stakes doggy. His excuses are so bad. It's crazy. I mean, they're so bad. He's written too much stuff.

He's starting to be like, I can write my way out of anything. If I didn't bang Maria Moore, Eliza would find out. Quote, I dreaded extremely a disclosure and was willing to make large sacrifices to avoid it. This guy is out of his mind. This guy is out of his mind. It's not writing it. It's thinking it's going to work. He's the founding father of horrible.

adultery. Yes. And being like, baby, I saved you. By making her come, I was making you come. I put it in her dirty starfish so that you'd feel good. But now he was disclosing crazy details publicly and Eliza was recovering from giving birth to their six child. Oh, man. I hope you're okay.

There's something you should know. She snowballed me. By the way, while you were covering, I wrote some stuff for you to read. We invented a technique called the snowballed. Alexander was sure Colliner got the story from one of three men he'd made his confession to all those years ago. By the way, the initial story is over.

Who cares anymore? He's now out there just being like, you don't understand. Yeah. The repress, right, the Congress guys, Mullenberg, Venable, and Monroe. He thought Monroe was the prime suspect. Who told?

But a more... You have any idea what you've put my wife through? My wife has been through so much. But a more... more likely suspect is Beckley, the Virginia clerk who copied the documents. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I saw a bunch of shit. Alexander's friends told him at the time that, but he ignored. Instead, he went to confront Moreau who was visiting family nearby.

Well, well, well, a nice family. Why don't I ruin that for you? Alexander was, quote, very much agitated. She ate my ass. It was very much agitated when he arrived. Maria ate my ass. An accused Monroe of giving the documents to calendar. Whatever you did, I had to tell Eliza that I had my ass eaten by my neighbor today.

You've put her through so much. He raved until- Daddy, are we going to make s'mores? Get out of here. Alexander raved until Monroe told him to shut up so he could answer his accusations. Okay. Talk. Sorry. Go ahead. At one point. I read a lot of letters.

They had to be pulled apart. Nice. Finally, Monroe told him That he'd only been back in the U.S. for two weeks. What? He said he'd given the documents to a friend of copy in 1792, but he never sent them to calendar. And Alexander called Monroe a liar.

Well, I guess I'm going to leave and go somewhere else to fucking say stuff. Monroe called Alexander a scandal, quote, I will meet you like a gentleman. What does that mean? duel duel Monroe quote I am ready

get your pistols Alexander was very upset but Monroe was quote quite cool Monroe's friends begged them to reconsider Alexander demanded Monroe state he had not

used the affair to hide theft Monroe agreed to write a letter stating that and Alexander left so Monroe sends the letter to Alexander who said

that's not good enough. God damn this guy. This is fucking bullshit. This is shit. It's the word. My wife knows now that I like to toss salads.

Why are you making my wife learn all this stuff about me? This is crazy. Alexander, you wrote everything in detail. Because I had to spare Eliza because someone started

pretending that I was doing this for nefarious reasons. I was, was entrapped into fucking Maria as often as I did. And yes, there were certain times where we invented certain sexual things, but that was the only way for me to keep it going so that people wouldn't find out what was happening, and Eliza would be spared. She just had another one of my children, and she had to think about the time that I invented a sexual position called the one-wheeled barrow.

you you drew illustrations she's gonna find out I made a position called the clothes line where I put Maria's clothes on my penis that it's hard and then she

has to take it off and then I bang the shit out of her again you drew detailed illustrations of every sex act including this one to spare Eliza the Korean spine cruncher which I want to know about

to spare Eliza to spare Eliza. It's where you can crack the woman's back through her asshole with your penis. Okay, but what's the fruit basket? The fruit basket is where you take your limp dick, hold it up, make your balls look like two apples, and then you say, want a nana?

And you drop your cock down. What about the monkey jump? The monkey jump is quite simple. It's where your penis is a branch, and you keep rotating the woman's hand on it like she's jumping from branch to bar. branch. And while she does it, you go, ooh, who, ah, ha!

What's lost in the Mary on the trench? I'm not going to keep doing this. It's where you put your penis inside of the woman and you have her spin like a spitfire hog and you never exit. Therefore, it looks like you're just a set of testicles. And the whole time you say, where's my penis? Does anyone have radar? Okay. Okay. Yes. And my wife. is sitting at home in a rocking chair.

Yeah. After just giving birth to my 18th child. I gotta say again, it seems like this might be on you. This is, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what's not on me, Eliza. So he sends a letter to Alexander, who says it's not good enough. And over the next six months, he kept writing Monroe demanding a stronger vindication. So he's like, another letter! And Monroe just writes back, no.

No. No, I'm fucking done. You are the worst. Alexander, again, accuses Monroe of being the architect behind the calendar piece, calling him, quote, malignant and dishonorable. Yes. And Monroe asked Aaron Burr to deliver letters between himself and Alexander, wrongly assuming that they're still friends.

Okay. But Burr thinks the whole thing is childish. He's like, well, this is fucking stupid. What do you guys do with? You guys are too, you're fucking toddlers. Yeah, what are you guys doing? You guys are absolute fucking losers. Monroe told Burr...

You are grown-ass men. This is like watching fucking Muppet babies. Monroe told Burr, he thought Beckley had done it. Who the fuck is Beckley? Beckley is the guy who copied the letters. Oh, right. Yeah, well, it was him. We already established the guy.

He wrote everything down. He read everything down. He read every fucking word and then he had to transcribe it. Bird told Monroe to just write the letter Alexander wanted. He also started throwing away angry letters that they gave him to give back and forth instead of delivering them. Wow. Smart. This is so dumb. This is a fucking insane.

Did you read it? I did. Ha ha. Yeah, this will be a really good one. Good. This will be. The pictures are weird. I'm a wait. I'm waiting to reply.

The pictures are weird. What is that? the potato explodeer? The potato exploer is pretty obvious. It's where the second you're about to bust a nut, you hold on to you the end of your penis as hard as possible, so your balls get really big and swell up. But I'm not going to keep doing

this. Okay? I'm being very clear. That's it. Okay. So he's throwing him out and he's worried it's going to escalate into a duel. That's why he's throwing him out. So this causes the fight to kind of die out.

That's great. I haven't heard from him in a while. And it's very possible that Aaron Burr averted a duel and saved Alexander or Monroe's life. Well, that's a shame for him. And to part three. What an exhausting piece of shit he is. I'm not even trying to be a homer saying that, like, because we're doing this, he sucks. I mean, he sucks.

He's an annoying. The evidence is endlessly that he sucks. The letters alone, he sucks. Like his cover alone for fucking Maria. He sucks, let alone that's outside of his... His ideological beliefs. Yes, he fucking sucks. His ideology is absolutely selfishly disgraceful.

If you look at him, you go, this is the seed that gives you the nightmare we are living in today. And then they write a fucking musical about him and some dipshit on our clip goes, dude, what do you want us? Broadway. This whole thing's like up for interpretation. sources are written by Whitney I'm sorry Whitney Britney Cohen Brown sources Jefferson and Hamilton The rivalry that forged a nation by John Furling

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sovereignty by William Hogland, not a nation of immigrants, settler colonialism, white supremacy, and a history of a racial and exclusion by Roxanne Dunbar Ortiz. Hamilton's curse, how Jefferson's arch enemy betrayed the American Revolution by Thomas J.D. Lorenzo, Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow, the douche, the Hamilton Scheme, an epic tale of money and power in the American founding by William Hogland. fallen founder, The Life of Aaron Burr by Nancy Eisenberg. One Nation Under Debt, Hamilton, Jefferson, and the history of what we owe by Robert Wright. Duel Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr, and the Future of America by Thomas Fleming,

an odious and immoral thing by Jesse Sir Philippi, that time when Alexander Hamilton almost dual James Monroe, Smithsonian Magazine Online. Alexander Hamilton in Slaver, question mark. A new research says yes. online the pistol that killed the founding father published on April 4th 2012 by a New York Historical Society and then various primary sources on founders.archives.gov