The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 77 - The Past Times with Zach Ruane

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined again by Aunty Donna member Zach Ruane.  Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody, so listen as you probably know I travel a lot a ton always on the road always staying in places and If I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better. It's more like a home Anyway, so look I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone Can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.

Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. This is a big, this is a big, this is a big fucking deal. This really is. This is a big fucking deal. This really is. This is a big fucking deal. This is big. This is huge. You guys remember Dave Anthony? I am Dave Anthony! The guy from the 1980s. The human picnic. Most of what we wear is pro-gun. Well thank you for coming out for the Past Times podcast. It's exciting. It's a big night.

Yeah. This is our final Past Times show. Yeah, this is it. Alright we'll keep going. Fuck it, you right, we'll keep going. Fuck it, you guys, six people in awe. So that's enough for us. We're really... If you guys can raise between you $1,000 tonight in cash,

we'll keep doing this podcast. How fucking great will that face be? Like, 65, like, there, look. We'll finish the show for $500. These guys became really pathetic fast. Like 65, like, yeah, we'll finish the show for $500. These guys became really pathetic fast. No, it's great.

It's great, this is more intimate. Who was at the Dollop show last night? Thank you for raising your hand. I'm sorry, that was so bad. That was a bad show. Still haunted by that picture. The picture. I saw that, I came out of my room this morning and saw that in the hallway.

It was terrifying. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, well you know how this is a different vibe. You know? Dave's in picnic mode. Do you want to tell them how much watermelon you had backstage? Zero. And there was watermelon.

Strange. We all pointed that out. I don't see watermelon as something to consume. I see it as something you wear or put on a wall. Super weird, obviously. Well, fuck it. Should we bring our guests in? There is a watermelon I wanted to do a dollop about, but I couldn't find enough information.

What? What does that even mean? There is a watermelon? A specific type of watermelon in which it has a crazy fucking story. And we're not gonna do that? Well, I might do a small up if I can work it out, but it's fucking nuts.

It's seeds. I mean, that's a great joke for that episode. It's nuts. I hope that that comes to me when we do this little smile It barely makes sense. I'll do it again for five hundred and fifty dollars Pass your little hats around Come on moments step up

Seriously a thousand dollars of this show does not end tonight. As in it always goes on A thousand dollars to make it stop Well, should we start with the intro? I don't know how to do this exactly. I'll do the intro. Say the intro and then bring up the guest. Okay, alright, okay. Well, uh.

Say the intro and then bring up Alan Jones. Wow, watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, watermelon. Alright, welcome to the past times. It's a podcast. It's finally happening for some people. Listen, you know how we roll. Each week, stop it, Jill. Sticker.

Listen, everybody, you have no option. You can't listen, folks. Listen, ladies and gentlemen. Each week we go through a random newspaper picked out by none other than David, Watermill and Anthony. I, Gareth Reynolds, have no idea what it is and neither does this week's guest from Auntie Donna, an Australian hero, give it up for Zach Ruane everybody let him hear it. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you.

Thank you. Is it weird they're clapping more for you than us? Is that... How does that make you feel and then we'll talk about how we feel? I think it's because you called me an Australian hero. Well, you are. Less of a reflection on me, more of a reflection on the quality of Australia's heroes. It's a low bar, maybe. Oh, what a crazy... Reflection on me, more of a reflection on the quality of Australia's heroes.

It's a low bar, maybe. Oh, what a crazy... Boy, you with that watermelon shirt is taking a lot of getting used to up here. The lights are red. It's really crazy. Just enjoy the cruise. Okay. I just want to say I didn't say anything about the watermelon shirt. Right? He's a nice... Yeah, but save it for the stage, like me.

Yeah, oh, yeah. Come on! Cool shirt, man. Zach! Attack him. OK, well, listen. What did you think of the pre-show banter? Yeah, it was really solid. Is Zach going to be included in any kind of?

I don't know. Yeah. I think, like, leave it as a teaser for anyone listening. Yeah. It was really good. Thank you, Zach. That means a lot. Yeah. It was really good. Thank you, Zach. That means a lot. Yeah.

This is your second time on this podcast, but first solo. First time alone. Yeah, and finally got rid of the dead weight. Wow. Holy shit. I killed them. Oh my god. Wow.

This is so funny. To be honest, he don't have it. I snapped and I killed them. And this is awesome. You're all going to remember this night. Some of you might even be on the true crime documentary It's like I remember there was something weird about the night. It seemed off. He seemed distant the whole show Particularly the fact that he admitted up top that he killed and he kept saying I'm not a hero. I'm not a hero

I'm no hero. What I do is not heroic or am I? All right, well listen we I don't know if we were doing, that we've come up with, the podcast keeps reinventing itself as most works of art do. Um, I always like to guess what year this weird paper is gonna be from. I'm assuming it's an Aussie paper, it has to be. It's an Aussie paper. Okay, so, uh, why don't we, we'll guess what year. Um, I'm gonna guess that this is from...

Nope! You're just mad because your shirt's done. No, it's just wrong. You're wrong. When you packed that, what went through your head? I'll be in the water when I wear this? I was like, this can be... Well, Australia's like a cruise ship. So I'm gonna wear this in Australia on my cruise ship vacation.

Okay I think it's nice it's bright and it brings out a side of your personality I haven't seen before. Thank you! Someone's looking for a new group to work with. You can be my Broden and it's on. I love that song by the way. Unfortunately you kill people you get close to. Yeah, yeah, you don't wanna be in a group with me. I'm telling you. I'm gonna guess 1781. When was the first ship?

When was the first ship? What year? Okay, nice try. I don't know if you know this, but people were actually here before you came. Yeah? Were they cranking out papers? Oh yeah, they weren't capable of doing that. Okay, you know what? Have a good life everybody, enjoy your bullshit. Fucking K.O.'d you anuses. You know what? I'm gonna guess 1720.

Oh my god, Zach! Fuck! Zach's right. Crazy response. I guess maybe I am a hero. Can we get a spot if we could? It's 1925. Oh, okay. Fun. December 4th...

Goller? G-A-Y-L-E-R? Goller? South Australia? Is that it? Okay. Nobody knows, but one guy's like, Goola. It's Gayler.

Is it Gayler? Gayler. Fucking Jesus Christ. Gayler. Okay. Bunyip. The Bunyip. The Bunyip?

The Bunyip newspaper. Yeah, cool. All right. Okay. It's like a little rat we have, a little desert rat. Is it a mythical animal or is it a real animal? Is it real? None of your animals are real, right?

I just... The PR in our country is that they're all pretty made up. The bunyip's fake, isn't it? The bunyip's fake, right? It's not a... It's real? It's real? I choose to believe it's real.

Jesus Christ. Oh, the yabby. Yabby. No, yabbies are real. The bunyip is a creature from the aboriginal mythology of southeastern Australia said to lurk in swamps, billabongs, creeks, and water holes. Really? Yeah. Mm. OK. All right.

Well, looking at it now, yeah, I would not. Nope. I'd show you. It's too. It looks like an HR Geiger being. That thing fucks. It's crazy. Okay. So do Bilby's, by the way. Huge dongs.

I think everything fucks. That's kind of the idea. You're pretty good at this stuff. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. I know some people that don't fuck. Page one. Here's a little story.

Near Melbourne, Victoria. I know some people that don't fuck. Um, page one. Here's a little story. Near Melbourne, Victoria, a reformatory boy, 16 and one half years, was arrested for the murder of a farm laborer. 28 years. Oh shit. Yeah, alright. Reformatory's not working. No. Yeah.

The boy admitted the deed, stating that he hid in the loft and donged him in the chest. Man, oh man. At 16, you're donging people out, huh? That is the best way to kill someone without question. I did donge him. Yeah! Fuck! Sorry.

I always love, I love fancy talk. Yeah! Fuck! Sorry! I always love, I love fancy talk. This is my favorite part about this podcast is everyone talks all fancy even after they've murdered someone. Yeah. I donned him. Oh I donned the fellow. I was in the loft

after the donging. They found him, his dick was just hanging out the window. They're like, pretty sure he's up there. That guy definitely donked. That looks like a donk man to me. Donked him in the chest. As the man came into the stable.

So like a bell. He like made his own hole. Whoa, what's going on? I donked my own hole earlier. Oh, that's great. What year did you say this is from? 1925. Yeah, wow. All right. He had no motive for the deed, other than he did not like his victim.

Well, that, I think... That's enough. To be fair, I think that's plenty. That's the most common... Most common friction, yeah. Issues you don't want to deal with. You're like, fuck it, it'd be easier. Oh man. I'll just poison the coffee.

Get rid of this guy. Yeah, don him. Okay. I usually don people I like, so that's fine. It's a slippery slope. I'm saying I love you. I'm challenging you to a don duel. Ha! Sometimes a good hate dong is okay.

A hate dong? Whoa, this is taking a real weird turn. Remember when Dave admitted all of his crimes when he started talking about his hate dong? Oh, man. Next story. That's a really cool story. That's the whole thing. The Adelaide South Australia Council considered a bylaw to prevent anyone from drinking intoxicating

liquor in the parklands and reserves of the city. What would that city be without that option? Yeah, I was going to say, anyone who knows Adelaide knows that that war did not go into effect. It could not, because then people are like, we gotta get the fuck out of here, this is a dogshit town. Can't you reckon a park? Oh my god. The bylaw was sent back for reconsideration, the opinion being that the proposed law was too drastic. Yeah.

Without question We can't do that. That's impossible. It's insane. You know, you're not letting us drink anywhere outside The bylaw was framed following on a complaint made by the police commissioner of the great consumption of liquor in parklands I'll just do your job Just walk around and be like, no. So Australia's just getting shit faced in parks. Imagine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sounds about right to me. What a wild time. It's most of my tines right there. I think that's fine. You should be able to get drunk in parks. You can't in America. It's illegal to drink in parks. I don't think you can in Australia.

Well, I've gone to a couple beaches out here where you can't drink on the beach. It's so easy to skirt those laws. In my teen years and early twenties, I would find myself in a park. I'd just be like, oh, we're in a park now. All right. Yeah. But I don't know if I drank. No, I drank in parks. When I used to go to England, when I was like a teen, we would end up in graveyards. I was like, this is fucking crazy. We'd just be getting hammered in graveyards.

That's a very English thing to do. Yeah, it is. They've got better teeth. Let's go down to the graveyard maybe, have a bit of a drink. I thought it was a pub. I was like, you meant an actual graveyard? This is fucking insane. We're just a bit different here, aren't we? Bet you don't get drunk in graveyards in America. No we really don't but for good reason. Yeah go on have a hug hug him. We also do the best comedy it's smart like. Then Benny Hill runs by. You could hook up with your cousin here. All right I really gotta get the fuck out. Go on have a baby with your sister. What the fuck. You're in a graveyard rules are upside cousin here. All right, I really gotta get the fuck out. Go on, have a baby with your sister.

What the fuck? You're in a graveyard. Rules are upside down here. Come on. Dig him up. You be him. We'll fucking put, let's take photos with him. Fuck.

Yeah, that's Britain. Yeah. It's actually Adelaide without the drinking, but it would end up here. yeah, a lot of graveyard stuff Last time I was in the UK we were doing a tour in most venues. They'd start doing a double pint They were doing literally two pints in one and it was like bigger than most audience Yeah, like it was like it's shaped like a pint, but twice as big. The idea that they're sticking with the pint form.

Yes, they had to. Yeah, because otherwise it would confuse them. Yeah, yeah. I think they just realized the rest of the world was catching up to the idea of a pint and they were just like, we gotta do something for us. We gotta be more fucking disgusting. We're gonna binge binge it. Fuck it.

I like my beer to get extra warm by the end of it. Let me have an aquarium of calling and... Well, I have my beads. I only want one quarter of my beer to be the right temperature. Let me get a dog dish of beads. Let me get a dog dish of beans. LAUGHTER Oh, that pie looks nice.

Maybe if I put some beans on it, it'll be even more brilliant. Let me get a double pot of beans going to the graveyard. Fuck it! Look, it's pretty bad here, you understand? Fucking not good, is it? Listen here, me sister's husband's heard what I'm doing. I need to get to the graveyard stat so he can't find me. It's pretty bad here, you understand? Fucking not good, is it? Listen here, me sister's husband's heard what I'm doing. I need to get to the graveyard stat so he can't find me.

Ah, that's, that's, yeah. Look, we're gonna fill a coffin with beans. From one direction to this, like I think this has been the quickest descent in a country's public image ever. They've earned it. I don't know if you've seen the next election, but it's like they don't have much. Essentially they're dealing with beer what we did with our soft drinks. That's true. They're big gulping. And beer is essentially their soft drink. That's true. Yeah. No, but you'd like ride the train there and like there's always some guys like,

I just thought I'd get housed on the way to work. You're like, you're like a normal man. You're a doctor. And he's like, well, fuck it. You know what I mean? I'd have three strong bows on the drive. Fuck it. When Worth's circus menagerie tent was being dismantled at Hobart

What one of the roads is a headline? This is like there's just a bunch of stories. Okay. Okay. It's like a pile of stories Description of a newspaper a whole bunch of stories never been to earth There's no headlines. They're just... Okay. So when Worst Circus Menagerie tent was being dismantled at Hobart, one of the ropes supporting the King Pole broke.

It's not good. I love these stories because they could always, the tone is always the same with these old newspapers. This could go to like someone viciously dying or like the council encourages them to use more ropes. It really could go either way right now. Legal clown murder. The spectators scattered for safety,

but one onlooker became paralyzed with fear. Oh, that's the best kind of, okay. You can recover. That's good, I was like. Not from like the tent okay. But and the heavy pole struck him. Okay paralyzed from paralyzation as well. In the back of the neck and he died. Oh for fuck's sake so wait paralyzed with fear and then paralyzed with death. And then dead. Now he's really paralyzed all over the whole part. In the back of the neck with a pole. He was known in life as the Handcuff King.

Okay. What? Okay. What a crazy end. So this is his last moment. Maybe give his real name. No, it's the Handcuff King. Okay.

Is that all they give? That's all they give. He was handcuffed. He was like, help! Lookit, he's so scared. He was handcuffed to himself. He's handcuffed to the pole! He's paralyzed with fear again.

Classic handcuff. Oop, that's the end of that. That's so horrible. That's really funny. It is. I don't know why. It's the image of a man. Like it's got the most like origin story, start of a 90s movie vibe I've ever seen. Or it stops. I bet you're wondering how I ended up here.

Just under a pole, crushed. I die at the end of this rom-com. Yeah. At the start of the story, he's not even a member of the circus and he hasn't seen a handcuff. How is he going to get there in an hour and a half? That's totally a network note too. Where does he come from? What does he do?

What's his motivation? Why does he like handcuffs? Trust me, we don't need to get into that. Where did he come from? What does he do? What's his motivation? Why does he like handcuffs? Trust me, we don't need to get into that. A researcher in the use of rontgen... rontgen rays? Sure. Rontgen? Anybody know? It might be. That might be an early word for x-rays.

I think it is, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, you might be a little too smart for that. Get the fuck out of here, learned guy. I desperately make up for not knowing if a bunion was real or not. I think a bunion, I think I had a barbequed one, right? How do you like your bunion? There's nothing on the grill.

Is grandpa OK? Making a bunion! The researcher, a researcher in the use of ronjun rays at the London hospital has died after 15 operations including the removal of both hands. What the fuck? We're gonna need to take your hands. As a result of work with the rays in the welfare of humanity. Yeah. I've heard about this actually, that when they first started using x-rays, they were like, oh my God, you can see through hands.

And then they didn't know that they were right, like they took this. They just keep doing it all the time and then after a while they're like, oh, this hand looks bad. How many times did he do it? It said, he said he had 15 operations. It doesn't say how many. 15 operations? Yeah, because I love the idea of 15 operations to save him.

I thought it was he only got 15 x-rays. That's what I thought too. They're like he died, but he helped 15 broken arms. My hands are killing me. Well, get him under the x-ray. Let's have a look at those, see what's going on over there. Ah! Science declares there is no more striking case

of martyrdom on record than that undertaken by Mr. Blackall, who suffered greatly in the past 20 years but lived to learn that his discoveries may X-ray operations immune to the operator. So he lost his hands so that? He lost a lot of stuff. 15 operations. They were cutting stuff out like crazy. I just kept shortening him. And they kept trying to... before they did the operation they kept doing x-rays to find out.

Oh man, it's really bad in here. It's gone to my arms ever since you x-rayed them. It's like how Garfield ate a cake. They were just like, we'll just take a little bit more. Now you're still healing. Look, everything seems fine now. We'll just check your arms and see if there are. Great, let's get them in there. The hands are killing me still. Now it's moved up.

Well that makes sense too, because whenever you go to the dentist, I'm always like, Jesus, that's a lot of precaution. Wear lead. I'm gonna go to my car. You're like, can you? I feel weird about this.

Accidents by flood and field. There's a lot of bad stuff going on. Yeah, it's a pretty rough country. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, man. I fucking fight kangaroos. It's crazy that Billby survived all this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so tiny and sweet. You ever fight a bunyip? Do I ever fight a bunyip? Yeah, yeah. No, I fought a Billby. I know a fucking one too. Jesus, Zach, leave him alone! Yeah, no, I can take as many bilbies as you can throw at me. Bring them on.

Let's go. It is usually in Christmas week that one looks for long lists of holiday fatalities. What the fuck? I'll tell you. Who died? This year raised a large crop of November deaths. Fucking A. What the fuck? Last week, apart from the usual head-on collisions of motor cars.

Which we've all gotten very used to. And stories of buses ripping the sides out of each other. Well that's still motor accidents. What's the description? It really is. Ripping the sides out of each other. It's when they haven't found the word for crash yet. Before crash was invented.

We've got to find a way to describe this. Metal tearing. People don't know up until the 30s, ripping the sides out of each other was just as much of a contender as crash. I'm so sorry that you lost them in a ripping the sides out of each other incident. So your husband was in a ripping the sides out of each other incident. And a front smash as well. And a front smash.

Look, it would have been fine if it was just a ripping the sides out of each other, but unfortunately there was a bit of front smash as well. And he couldn't survive the front smash. But the big balloon, the wheel balloon helped. And then we x-rayed him and we had to obviously cut his head off. Tough stuff. So sorry. Well the head looks great inside but now we have to lose it. So sorry. Oh man this is tough. There was quite a number of interstate yachting deaths. Wait explain how? What? Everything sounds like the end of speed. We throw it in some speed too. I think they mean within the state. Okay well

that's what it has to be otherwise you're just like you can't yacht out here. Shut up cop. And Adelaide had one sad fatality in death by drowning in the torrents on a boating excursion. Every death in Adelaide is sad. Sad, sad-a-late. Nope. I love you so much. It's like being touched by a bun-you.

I love you so much. It's like being touched by a bun you People will step about in boats just as if they were walking home Just as if they're walking by their fireside at home He's making a point out people have been careless casual. Yeah the shark bit. Oh my god This is a shark biting fatality in Western Australia has been paralleled by a story off the American coast where a shark bit. Oh my God. The shark biting fatality in Western Australia has been paralleled by a story off the American coast where a shark bit a rum runner. Although on this occasion, it was the shark that died. That's not true.

Shh. That's not true. That's not true. Is that like a loony tune? Come on. The shark. What's a rum runner? What is it? A bootlegger? Yeah, a bootlegger. Shark. What's a rung runner? A bootlegger?

Yeah, a bootlegger. Shark got really fucking drunk. And then he shouldn't have gotten in that car because it ripped the sides out of it. It's part of the issue with them never being able to stop moving. He's like, I can't even fucking go. Fuck it. This is a really fun newspaper. This is good.

Yeah, this is a good one. This is pretty good. How often do you get a really boring one? Well, then you don't read them. Ah, yeah. That's smart. They've gotten... Yeah.

You've figured out how to podcast. Yeah. Yeah. One day it's like, September 8th, 2024. I'm like, I remember all this. This is not that interesting, to be honest with you. There has been the usual early summer discussion as to the harmlessness of South Australian sharks.

Wow. Leaning in. Some of the old hands producing the most blood-curling descriptions of what sharks have done, others scoffing and defying narrators to produce one single incident of a bather being attacked by a shark. That is actually very refreshing to hear, like, the anti-sharkers.

Like we've all, I mean, I know this all the time from these shows, but the idea that people are like, come on. I- Bullshit. Enough. I particularly like them, the audacity to say that in an article, which earlier refers to multiple shark killings. Just give me one example, other than the one in Western Australia yesterday.

Let me talk to one of these people killed by sharks. Give me one example. Come on. Fucking bullshit. That's just really... This gets really racist now. Oh, okay, yeah. How? That seems... Oh, my God. Well, I don, this gets really racist now. Oh okay, yeah. How? That seems okay.

Oh my god. Well I don't know if I mean how. Well let me tell you, Australia has changed its way since about 2023 and we're good now. Very brave. Yeah, no, our newspapers don't have any of that. Bring one of these racists to me, let me see him if they exist so much. Oh nah, it's a bit... Are you ready? Yeah, well I don't know. Is it worth reading?

It is remarkable that black fellows seem to be rarely attacked by sharks. No doubt he likes red or white meat by instinct. And I would recommend all Gaylor people who come to the seaside to be on the safe side when they go in paddling and give their legs a coat. Oh, I'm not gonna read that. No, don't read it. Do not. What the fuck? Don't keep going. Jesus Christ. on the safe side when they go in paddling and give their legs a coat. Oh, I'm not gonna read that. Don't read it, do not, what the fuck? Don't keep going, Jesus Christ.

I'm not gonna read that. No, fuck me. I think the world needs to know that this is Australia. Jesus Christ. We send you our Margot Robbie's. Oh. But the best of us go to you. The rest is basically this.

Wow. That was really... This is the Robbie tax? That was quite a read. And you didn't even have to finish for everyone to be like, no! Stop! Fuck! Okay. All right, everybody. So listen, as you probably know, I travel a lot. A ton.

Always on the road. Always staying in places. And if I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better. It's more like a home. Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking like like, while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes.

It can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. out how much at airbnb.ca. Let's get back to some great news domestic domestic tragedy oh christ let me guess man on woman at mount fox 30 miles from ingham yep. When a man named Crotten called at the farm of Perry's and shot the son, struck the sister on the head, and also inflicted injuries on the mother. When arrested, he attempted to put the blame

of the murder on his wife. Look, he is a legend. I mean, I really like, obviously, it's pretty fucked up, but I really went, he did the rounds, and then he's like she did it Fuck you. She's out of control The amount of time I was thinking about this the other day. I'm really not going in well for Australia But the amount of times in the news that we have had

Like people get murdered or kids get murdered and like as a culture We tend to blame the woman first like women never like very rarely murder but well that's that's worldwide it's always I reckon she did it it's like it's never been her it's always the crazy man like out in the bush but like well in America like we've gotten to the point with shooters in America where like it just we're always like okay he's a guy like if there was one woman we're like see thank God fuck yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I presume it didn't work because they know it was him that did it sounds like yeah they don't go on anymore but I guess she couldn't be dongan like he murdered probably with the top they were killed with don't she He's got a huge dong. Honey, go along.

Go along, dong. Go along with the dong. Go along with the dong. Last Saturday's heat was a record for the year. The thermometer reached 104.8 degrees at 1230 p.m. What a time. That is not that hot. What is 104 in...

I'm pretty good at this. 37. It is? Yeah? I'm pretty good at this 37. It is yeah. Okay No, it is probably like 20 19 or 20 divided by 4 plus something Basically what I know yeah That brought up 21 22. I did the wrong I did one. I did 104 Celsius that would not be no 104 Celsius So you could bake a pie.

It is 40. 40? That was a record, 40. Yeah, 40. Okay. It's like it's getting warmer. Hahahaha! I don't know.

Keep politics off the show. Sorry if I got a little too political. We welcome all of our listeners. Those that believe in reality and, that's sorry. Sorry for going a little too political. We like to we welcome all of our listeners, those that believe in reality and those that deny it. Blue Apron. We had a change not set in the afternoon would have been a corker with a further rise in fully another five degrees.

What does that mean if it change? I guess it just got cooler. Gets cooler, yeah. Wow, what a change we have. Coleslaw Beach in Western Australia has been declared safe for bathers since the voracious tiger shark that killed a man was destroyed by police. Destroyed by police.

Stop being a shark! Knock it off, sharky! That's literally the plot of Jaws. The police guys are destroying the shit. Shark! Yeah, we started it. There's a lot of shark problems going on. Yeah.

It just keeps coming back to that guy that was like tell me one fucking shark. You show me one and I'm out of here. I want to talk to the shark. The police destroyed it. Yeah they didn't kill it, they destroyed it. That's awesome. Two lookout towers 35 feet high and 75 yards apart have been erected and bathing is restricted

to within that area. They're still letting people bathe in that area a little bit? No, it needs swimming. Yeah, I know. You know, they went through this in the... Oh. I'm not suggesting that they're fucking taking their baths out there. Well, it sounded like it. No, I'm saying, but restricted? It should be like, nobody go in there. They're like, all right.

Well, they have now... Because the Australians are going to go in the water. That's who they are. Right, yeah, but like the shark's not like, oh, I can't go, okay. Lot of red tape. I don't wanna get destroyed. I'm sure they had guys with rifles that would shoot the shark and the people.

If you go this way, I'll shoot you the person, and if he goes in, we shoot the shark. This is the indiscriminate shooting, depending on who's on what side of the watchtower. That's right. It's called America. Yeah, really good. And mostly the women are doing it. Spread the word, spread the word, yeah.

Men are safe. Here's a really good wanted ad. Oh, God. Shark attacker? Wanted a strong boy. Appli- Whoa, find this man. That's it. With a jonger attack.

Wanted strong boy is it? No, apply. Okay, so it's for a job. Egg merchant. Egg merchant? Oh, that is the creepiest fucking guy in the country. But also, I don't think you want too strong of a boy to handle in your eggs. He's gonna crack your eggs.

Can you lift another crate of the eggs? Not so hard, Charlie. That's right. I know you're a strong boy, but you've gotta handle the eggs with a degree of delicacy. Careful now. I'm gonna take off my shirt. Oh, Mr. Broken've broken them again! I suppose this is on me for hiring a strong boy to handle me needs.

You had less strong boy wanted, but not weak. Ah! He did it again! Stop lifting them, you're fired! Need to hire me a gentle boy for the eggs. Wanted gentle boy? Once soft gentle boy needed. The stroke boy kept breaking my eggs but I got faith in you gentle boy. I can't lift them.

Fuck, alright. This is like fucking Goldilocks' porridge. I need a boy without bones. Wanted boundless boy. Quickly get the x-ray For eggs how many eggs does this weird man have I don't know good slower It's right Oh, you don't need to be strong

Then just go to my too if 12's too much. I like this egg guy. He's all right by me. I'm worried about him to be honest. Yeah, he seems pretty creepy. I'm picturing the Pixar character from Up except like Bottomless like, alright. Put one of the eggs in your mouth. Even the Pixar character from Up except like bottomless like, alright. Put one of the edge in your mouth. Go on boy. I'm the donger.

Yeah, this is rough. Definitely. And the worst part is I would love to tell you our newspapers have gotten any better. Yeah, they've gotten worse. Oh boy, if I saw that I would have been here for ages. Strong boy for egg errands. Sure boy with eggs. See Mr Murdoch. Mr Murdoch needs more strong boys for his eggs.

Got any friends equal strength? How are they with eggs? He's a problem out west, there's not enough strong boys for eggs. You heard about this. Tina Reinhardt can't find enough strong boys to handle her eggs. Apparently a lot of immigrants are coming and lifting our eggs. Too strong they are. Monsieur, I cracked the egg!

Fucking German egg. Crashed them. Crashed them during the exit. Should have annihilated them when we had the chance. Uh... Good stuff. It was good stuff. Pleased with how that went.

I think they were like a little less into it. We were like, that was a fucking killer egg thing. That egg guy got real fucking weird. I'm really big on my new character, Australian character actor from 1974. Hey, go on the you go, Max. We've not seen someone like you in a while, Max. Hit ya, Max. Action!

We just got a new batch of eggs out in the desert. Funding's getting pulled. Lots of the producers are dropping out, but I think we can finish the project. Whitlam's going to give us a little bit more money in the next tax incentive. Alright, lots of the producers are dropping out but I think we can finish the project. Whitlam's going to give us a little bit more money in the next Texas century. I always saw this as an indie anyway. We'll sell it to the US, we'll make a lot of money in the drive-through market. They're big eggs, they're big egg people they are.

They love eggs in the US. Oh, eggs don't go anywhere except in the mouths and the shishies. It'll be huge at the box office. I eat eggs with something called potato hash, I don't understand it, but if it works for them I'm alright with it. Nobody's around them anymore. Anyway, I think we're pretty close to finishing the project. Don't put this one on his neck though.

This is a man that's more skinny than is humanly possible. Like an animal's eating his leg. Alright, I mean we've got the ending and that's what matters. We know the destiny. He's just standing alone in the desert. Someone's shooting at him. Alright, from the top. Alright, Grace why don't you move there? There's no one around him. You gotta understand, I've remortgaged my house. It's nothing fancy. Just a house in Fitzroy. I mean, I've been living in a shoebox for a while. But that's why I'm all back end on this.

I feel I'll be good in this. It's pretty funny if you know your Australian cinema from the light cities. I feel like some of you do and it's still not hitting, but it was really, it was fun to do is what matters, okay? It's just good to see two guys doing the same character. Oh no, no, all the Australians know these are two very different gentles. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. It's like the Coen brothers. Ash brothers.

There they are. All right. Yeah. Just him in a mirror. Seventeen of them in the pub. They're all different. Surprised you missed the nuance, Dave. This is a letter to the editor dog right no more boy yeah I thought we were saying no more rice

sir the person who receives an anonymous letter is both worried and annoyed, but the worst letter is the chain letter. This is so good. A very great number of which are in existence in the Lindock lately. They are considered, and justlyly so as a real menace. Oh wow. I have been unundated with such letters lately but I am only one of many victims. Victims. People are getting eaten by sharks. The person who invented tight boots should be made to wear them eternally but the person who invented

and composed the chain letters should be chained up indefinitely. That guy that did happen to a guy earlier in the story and a pole killed him. Rethink yourself. Is the person who invented tight boots is that a phrase you've heard before? No. There's nothing I love better than like a well we all know that the our issue with the tight boots is that a phrase you've heard before? No. There's nothing I love better than like a, well we all know that the our issue with the tight boots is that, you know, I'm gonna just go with that assumption that this is something we all agree on. Yeah the tight boot company taking some shrapnel on this one. This is before laces because if there are laces that's just on the wearer. Well you can also try the shoes on and see if they're too tight before you get them.

No, not back then. No, you wore it, you bought it. Those are your fucking shoes. Ah, fuck! The receipt of these letters are calling much inconvenience and disturbance of mind. The reading of these states, if the writer does not write to ten different people, etc., a very great disaster will attend them hereafter. That's so fucking funny that this person was like,

well fuck! I'm cursed! This is kind of like a chain letter to the editor. A little bit. To a person with a superstitious mind, the threat is a very serious matter. I'm out of my mind. Help me. Also, a number of had to pay 3D. What's a D? Dong. Thank you.

Three dongs. Three dongs. Had to pay a three-dong tax on the letters. I've only got the one. They not being stamped. My object in writing this letter is to warn all those who intend sending any further chains that I have ruthlessly broken the chain and am quite willing to take the risk the wrath of the gods by burning all that come under my notice. Wow. He's got the energy of the early Christians like destroying statues you know it's like he's like he's like this is evil and it's it's untrue it's heretical

but if it is true then may it burn me to the ground like he believes this chain letter a little too much. Bring it on chain letter!! Yeah, honestly, yeah, he's Lieutenant Danning the chain letter. Big man, come on! Take me, motherfucker! Tonight I die! I die for all of you! Fucking chain letter!

I will stop thy chains! Tonight the chain ends and so do I! Greg, come to bed, darling. Oh, sorry, love. Bit late, just don't open them. You're right, that's probably the best. You said they weren't true. Yeah, but just in case, love.

Well, they're not, but just in case. Yeah, fuck. Oh my God. It may help to cheer those doubting souls if they know that at least one victim has braved the elements and is still living and breathing and having her being in spite of the fact that all the chain letters received months ago have been destroyed and the threats ignored. Yours, etc. DM Barclay. Yours etc. wow. That's uh never have I seen someone um prove like try to be show how smart they are

and prove their stupidity like you've gone to more effort than just sending on the chain. Yes and also be like I'm brave enough to not write back. Yeah, well they don't do anything. That's my theory. Hope it works. It'd be great to end this letter with, send this to ten other editors or your head will drop off. We need to spread the word. That is the best.

It's like the end of Twister. He didn't send the letter and now he gets to go to the other side. He sees what everyone else has not seen before. The idea of an era where if you got like opening... Every time this person opened one, like, oh fuck! There's the weak. He's been writing on the chain letters for like four years and this is like, tonight it stops.

What a fella. He's alright. This is an ad. Deaf people. Alrighty, wanted for egg lifting. I said no! Don't crush them! Wrong ad. French Orlean absolutely cures deafness and noises in the head.

Uh, noises in the head. Uh, noises in the head? That's hearing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a ringing! I can cure deafness and hearing. No matter how severe or long-standing the case may be, hundreds of persons whose cases were supposed to be incurable

have been permanently cured by this new remedy. This wonderful preparation goes direct to the actual seat of the trouble, and one box is ample to eventually cure the ordinary case. Miss Rowe of Portland Crescent Leeds says, your Leeds has completely cured me after 12 years of suffering. Okay. That's it.

No way, obviously. This is just something you rub on and then you're- You rub it? You can hear again. Maybe it. No way, obviously. So this is just something you rub on and then you're... You rub it? You can hear again. Maybe it's just like... Maybe they just used to think people with lots of earwax were deaf back then. Very possible. You know?

It's always a funny thing, like, what actually is that cure? That's great. Yeah, yeah. It might have actually worked, but... Should we just send you a Q-tip? Yeah. It's a miracle. That's what it is.

It's just Q-tips. At St. Kilda's Baths, Victoria on Saturday, 200 women and girls crowded a 40-feet staging and it collapsed. Jesus Christ. That structure was not big. Yeah, this is not a good a good like testament to our temporary structures Yeah, no most things are collapsing. We can't build tents or stages We have done yeah, honestly yeah

About 80 persons were thrown into the water, but only one was seriously injured so many sharks Yeah, the crowding was due to curiosity to see an official treat a girl who had been partially drowned So they're all watching a girl who'd been rescued from drowning and then they all Then it collapsed a much better way of saying a girl had been rescued from drowning versus she's partially drowned What this is like I have this like particular fascination with olden days, people like gathering around to watch things like, they were so afraid of television. It's like, I think that was, it had a net positive effect.

Rather than like people just going to look at shit. That's a dying view. Dude, we've done so many episodes of The Dollop where it's like, some guys like, I'm gonna walk backwards. Everyone's like, fucking cancel your week. A man's walking backwards. Get fucking ready. And everyone was like, holy shit, I can't handle it.

The only time it's happened in my adult life is we were on tour and we were in Perth and there was a really big plane. There was a really big plane that was landing at Perth airport and we were two hours late to the airport because so many people went to look at the big plane. And I'm not saying that's reflective of Perth at all. I'm just saying I don't think that had happened anywhere else. Hey big plane! Big plane!

That plane's twice as big as a normal plane! Hey, big plane! Your flight will be delayed about four hours because of the big plane. How'd it get in the sky? Can't be real. Brit, show me the big plane flying! Big plane. Oh, man.

Big plane. Big plane. It was a pretty big plane. Well I remember when I was a kid, we had Oscar Mayer which made baloney. We had the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Oh wow. And there was one of them and it would drive

across the country over and over again. And I genuinely remember people being like, well we should probably head down, the Wienermobile's gonna be there. It's probably gonna get pretty hectic down there. I grew up in a country town, and they opened a Big W, which is sort of like... What's that?

Is that a Wiener Stitzel? No, no, no. It's like a Kmart or just like a big shop. What's your big one? The one... Walmart. It's like Walmart. And I remember it opened, and it was like the biggest deal. Everyone was like, oh, you're going to check out the big W?

And I remember I was a cool teenager at the time and I was like, whatever. And I worked at the same centre and I was like, well, I'm here. I might as well go check it out. And they like walked around and I'm like, fuck, this is a pretty big shop. This is actually a pretty fucking big shop. It's a pretty big deal, actually. The big W. Yeah, it was just a normal-sized shop, like a normal-sized big W. Yeah, I grew up in a pretty depressing area. Well, about ten years ago, I was living in LA, and on my street I walk out and look the

next block down, and the Oscar Mayer Wiener billet, the mobile was parked down there. Wow. I'm too drunk to drive it. I would like to not. You are a starstruck. I was just like, holy fuck, I took a picture and sent it to people and they were like, is that the wiener mobile? And, and this is going to sound bad, he would hand out a wiener whistle. And so you'd get a little wiener whistle and you'd be like, shee shee.

I was like, fucking amazing. That's how you don't get donged. Well, you could also get donged in the back of the Wienermobile. How big is the Wienermobile? Fucking crazy big. Look at the propasaz. It's a huge hot dog. It's huge. It's like the idea of driving it across the country.

That guy was probably like, these motherfuckers think that they are going to like tell me what to do. They can fucking suck my fucking, they can suck my fucking Oscar by her fucking cheese. I'm signaling signaling big move motherfucker Otherwise, I'm gonna get into a side torn off thing He's about to show you his wiener mobile It's not coming up that big play with it a little bit It's huge I mean it's like a wiener submarine. Is it the size of a car? It's much bigger than a car. It's like a couple trucks put together. It's so big. Do one with scale. You're blowing this. It's really fucking crazy. It's gonna

be big compared to a normal wiener. that's a low bar. It's way bigger. Dave, get the right fucking picture. Someone with a green man filled your bar. Oh, here's a- Gotta look to the size of a normal car or something. No, it's not. Hold on, we're gonna find the good one. Dave, find a good wiener one.

I mean, those cars could be real- How are you not prepared? You knew we were gonna hang here during the show. I didn't? It's obvious we would get to the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. I'm trying to find one with... I mean, that could just be a normal Wiener with some tiny little wheels. That's a crazy thing to say.

Your big plane could suck the Wienermobile's dick. That is a pretty big plane, bro. There's the whole Wiener fleet. Okay, it's not great. And I, it's not great. I'm really, it does us less favors that there's a moped wiener. And that one of them is a really tiny fucking plane.

That's a wiener plane. Yeah, but he's used a big plane. He already told us a big plane story. Well, look at it against a little tiny car. It looks huge. Let's move on. After the show, I'll show you a bunch of wieners. Don't worry.

I'm gonna fucking blow you away, buddy. Be a real donger in the green room. I've run through about four jokes off that. That I'm just, I'm gonna save you the time of having to cut it later. You notice how I've done all of mine? Just rather than sending the email, hey, could you just cut that joke about? So, the Harvey Weinstein character,

Wiener Weinstein is an aging great, so. Just with the. I apologize. Like I played well in the room, but I just think Wiener Weinstein. Yeah, I think, Like, it played well in the room, but I just think Weiner wants... Yeah, I think... Look, things are going pretty good for me, so if you could just actually cut the Weiner stuff. It's really...

Like a rabbi? It's really disappointing how many... It's good. Would you cut that one for me, because I don't feel... That one's gotta go. He's still on Weiner. There's the Weiner team. The Weiner team?

Look at that. Look at how many people can fit in that Weiner. Yeah, it's pretty big, I guess. The fuck is your problem? You hate America? It's kind of like, well, RV size. I was expecting- Yeah, we're fucking impressed by a big W. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, but I've seen the world since talking I was expecting road train wiener That's like nine people who and there was still room for their stuff, okay Okay? They weren't crammed in there. No, I'm not saying a small RV. I'm talking like a wealthy couple of boomers and maybe a couple of kids as well RV. It's a big RV. Alright, you know what? Look, we're America so we don't have to sit here and show you how big our wiener mobiles are. Because they're the biggest. Nobody's got bigger wiener mobiles. That's why you could fit eight or ten people inside of a wiener mobile. You can go across the country, everyone sucks the wiener whistle.

Suck the wiener whistle, you fly for free. That's because we also have a plane, we have a moped, we have a whole fleet. We have a whole fleet of wieners. Get in, get on, whatever you want to do. Ride the wieners get in get on whatever you want to do ride the wiener shut up quit owing by the way cut all this out i bet the first thing someone does when they get a job working in the wiener mobile is bring in their partner and have sex at it.

Hey, remember when we thought I was saying the craziest shit? That's not crazy, I'd fucking the Wienermobile. There'd be plenty of room. You can have a goddamn orgy inside the Oscar-mire Wienermobile. Policemen are having an unenviable time in Melbourne with, and nearly every arrest out of the crowds leads to mob fighting. On Saturday, two officers had to fight their way out of a crowd and were severely clubbed by bottles and the boots of their assailants. Oh, loose boots.

Nice loose boots. That's the whole story. Um, you could, that, if you had read that to me, and I had to guess the year I still Yeah, I mean you heard the cheer Here's another ad. Oh, not great. Are you a druid? What the fuck? If not, why not?

Oh my god. That is the best. Druid want ad. Because our benefits are greater, also we have an eye, ear, and nose specialist for the member free. Only costing, can't read that, per week. Everyone was deaf then so this is good. What the fuck is happening? With the druid thing yeah, well, huh?

You made this so much less fun, do you know the fun we were having I had a whole Stonehenge thing coming Insurance for druids it's becoming fun again when you're building stonehenge and you get a little boo-boo just like you're lifting Stonehenge and it does that back pain thing where you're like, oh! We only treat injuries from Roman attacks. Yeah, right. Can't do anything about when your car, the side of your car smashes. Oh my God, it would be mainly spear doctors.

Cut any chariot issues? Well, we can tell you when the sun is to be in the sky the least amount of time. You have that one out. So I've got to find someone to look at this. Yeah, no, can't help you there, bro. Miss Dot, the Glen Innis experimental farm cow. That's not good. that's not good. That is not good. Missed out the Glenn Innis Experimental Farm Cow.

That's good. That is a great start. That sounds like a like a 70s psychedelic record name. Put it on. Play it backwards. Oh, shoot. It's got like one of those 17 minute songs. You know they just recorded it twice and then just put the second one on? Just did a fucking live, man.

Andy Warhol tried to fuck all of them. All the cows? In the Wienermobile drinking punch. Every single member of that band fucking worked on the Wienermobile. Oh my god. I'm going too hard on this one. Loving the idea that it's like a Kool-Aid acid test to fill the Wienermobile. You know the Wienermobile wouldn't come to fruition if it wasn't for the cow band. It's like a Ripley's, believe it or not,

that like the Wienermobile was unofficial for 10 years before they bought it. It had nothing to do with the company. It was just some hippies that did it as like an art piece. Oh my God. I love the Wienermobile. Never heard of it until today. Now I'm its biggest fan.

We're getting a shirt. We have them. Admittedly, it takes a big W to impress me, as she said. What if we had a deal with Oscar Mayer and we were like, we will fit it into a show? And Dave and I right now are like, fuck it, dude, we nailed the Wienermobile shit into the show. I'm going to send that email and. Free bologna and $250. I mean we laugh, but use promo code Wienermobile. So, Ms. Dot,

the Glen Ennis experimental farm cow has beaten the Australian butter production for any Eiershire cow? Eiershire? It might be different people, Any...Irishire cow? Irishire? Irishire? I love this, like, it might be different people, but I think there is just an expert in 1920s Australian culture. Yeah.

And I'm hoping she like knows a little bit, but not a lot. Irishire. I don't know, it's just no one else is saying anything. the Commonwealth Irish higher butter record is 942 pounds for 12 months miss dots test does not end until January but she has already produced produced 1,000 pounds of commercial butter Wow and then they put her down I Just assume well that she didn't live She's dead for sure now. Yeah, yeah But they didn't have it don't put down a fucking butter champion once they make that much butter the rest

No butter after that isn't good anymore. You don't respect this country the way that can I do? I'm pretty disrespectful to Australians. Well, I did a lot. And America. Always jabs at Australia. Could you cut that out? Well, Zach's not in the episode anymore. I mean...

I just introduced you and that's it. He really dropped off. No, Australia is really good and our newspapers of high quality. A Spanish anarchist having an unholy hatred of the church. Just white guys. Yeah. There's going to be some elestation. Give it up for the years. I reckon you might come around to my house. Yeah, some stuff's going to come out.

Met and shot a parish priest along a country road. Alright, maybe I backed this guy a little bit. Dave, make another edit note. No, I'll own this one. I just probably should have heard the whole story. I think it's okay. I mean, he was perished. What do you expect?

And there's a one in ten chance that guy deserves it. Yeah, that's right. He produced a lot of butter on his own. Definitely cut that one out. That is obviously... Moil that out of the FDA. Later the man shot himself and was taken to the hospital. Alright, so... to the hospital. All right. So who when dying, he repented, repented his act and asked for spiritual pardon, but was refused.

You can't do that. I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that. You don't know enough Catholics. He says, no. What? Yeah. She ought to go in the. Bye bye. I said, don't she oughta go in the head. Bye bye! He's like, don't worry, we'll get to it, man. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to do this.

No. No. No, you shoulda thought of that. You're a cunt, aren't you? You make the other priest very holy. With a bad way. He died vainly endeavoring to clutch a crucifix. Fucking A.

Just hand me the one on the wall. No. No, you're a bad guy. No. You're dying. Gotta hate you now. You're a done. God, I could imagine the fucking homilies that came that Sunday that were just like, you know

This guy actually killed a person still wanted to You know, it's actually a proof that oh, yeah A clever ruse so if we could cat all of that It's cut. It's an eight minute episode. So they just talked about the wiener mobile? And that wiener mobile talk stopped pretty abruptly. And it was a lot of visual stuff. And even the audience at the show didn't see.

This podcast is weird. A clever ruse at the Melbourne General Post Office resulted in the whole of the mail of an insurance company carrying much money being got away with. Prepositions are the enemy of this article. I mean, so a guy got away with the insurance company mail. That's what they say. That's, uh, yeah. A man bustled up to the private boxes, fumbled in his pockets, declared he had forgotten his key, and was obliged with the contents by a postal official.

That is the fucking greatest... ...that con working. I was expecting Ocean's 11, we got Ocean's 12. I forgot a key to all of these. Really? You have all these? Yeah, the ones with money in them. Yeah, I'll just go through all of them.

Such a goof. Where did I put all those keys? Awesome. That's a good story. Yeah, no, it's a great story. It's a first. Car stealing is still prevalent in Adelaide. Last weekend, giving a crop of 10 thefts.

Unhappily, there is a growing maliciousness with such unlawful usage, and one car was found with the side screen smashed, the rear axle bent and the plug smashed into the cylinders. A note was left in the car reading, we can recommend this car inside and terrible 10. They can recommend it. It drove good. They're the brand. They're recommending that. It drove good. The brand, they're recommending that. A review?

Yeah, it's a review. Consumer reports? Yeah, basically. It's like 1925 Yelp. Yeah, it's a good car. In Paris, France, a woman returned home to find her husband's dead body hanging from the Burestrad the what balustrade Balestrad he was wearing a weird carnival mask

It's the only way I can cum! Oh, I didn't know they did that for cums back there. Oh, I love this! Oh, oh my god. Oh no, it's much worse. Oh no! The man had been threatened with blindness and in ending himself had put a pad of chloroform beneath the mask that he might escape the death agony. What the fuck? No more fun. That's when you really don't think about the person that lives in the house. Because normally I won't hang myself in the house because my wife will find me, but this guy's like, what about a clown mask and I'm hanging?

because my wife will find me, but this guy's like, what about a clown mask and I'm hanging? Yeah, you would think, like, just out of respect for whoever finds you, you just, like, tape, you know, like, rope it around your head instead of being like, yeah, let's go. Let's go out with a bang. Talk it. Yeah. I'll do some Comedia dell'arte stuff.

I'm still not convinced this wasn't a kink thing. I agree. I think, yeah, now that I think about it. Still got some kink bonds. Yeah. Also, I agree. I think I'm not agree. And still got some kick bonds. Yeah. Also, I came. America, this will be the last one. It's about America?

This is the last one. Oh, great. America is puzzled by a fine- Never. Come on. Fake news. We're all good. We're not puzzled because we just act like we know everything. Stop it. Fake news, we're all good. We're fine.

We're not puzzled because we just act like we know everything. Stop it, you're being very negative. It's the best country. You're the watermelon guy, come on. America is puzzled by a find in Arizona of lead swords, a cross and other objects bearing Latin and Hebrew inscriptions. That's normal.

Scientists are divided as to their genuineness. Well, that means they're not real, for sure. It's just there's Hebrew out in the Arizona desert. It's not... You don't think so? I don't think the Jews went there in the fucking 1700s or whatever. Have you read the Book of Mormon? Pretty sure that's where King Arthur started. Scientists are divided as to their genuineness, the finding meaning that Roman Jews must have crossed to America in AD 760 to 900. You know the great Jewish crossing into America. It happened.

And they went to Arizona. Also, why are they Roman Jews? What just happened? And they went to Arizona. Also why are they Roman Jews? What just happened? Come on. They came from Rome in seven... Just accept a miracle for what it is, would you? The many...

How did they... right to Arizona. Right to Arizona. Yup, that just outworks. Well, they took a plane. Yup. A big one. A really big plane. The many combinations of signs are taxing the credulity of the investigators, but archaeologists are favorable towards their real value,

since the articles appear to have been embedded in the stone through natural processes. How good would it have been back then? You could just put shit in concrete and tell everyone. Yeah. It would have been so much easier to fake this shit back then. I'm telling you, it's the Wienermobile. It would have been the best era. There's so many things where it's just like, even like the I Cure Deafness stuff. You just were like, look, I'm fucking bored as shit. I'm going to do it. You've got the print media. You can reach the world, but people are still stupid enough. Yeah, it's like not enough science. Yeah

Fucking make sure that my friends ago Look at this ghost in this picture Photos are real give me money. He'll tell you the future! Fuckin'... I finally found my hook. Whoa. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a news... What a week in news this was. Yeah, this was a day in news. This was quite the news event. Wow, really feels like we wrote a lot.

Yeah, we did. It was a big day. Yeah. We crammed in a Wienermobile and went for a nice ride. Well, the show's over. So I don't know what else to say. Thank you guys for coming out.

Give it up for Zach, everybody. Thank you. Thanks so much. Beautiful. And Dan Anthony, the Watermelon King of Chicago. We appreciate you guys coming out. Thank you. Thank you. Look, as you probably know, I travel a lot. Too much? Sure, sure, that's fair.

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