The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 87 - The Past Times with Francesca Fiorentini

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined again by comedian and podcaster Francesca Fiorentini Redbubble Merch

And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that. It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home. But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel.

But recently I did start thinking well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca slash host. All right, everybody.

Welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Francesca Fiorentini. Hello, Francesca. Thank you for joining us. Oh my gosh.

So good to be back. Are you nervous? Yeah, now I am that you just said that. Yes, I'm incredibly nervous. I have my- Because I'll be honest, it sounds like you didn't really do much to- it sounds like you rolled out of bed, just showed up. That was for you. That's prepping?

I'm still in bed. That's good. We should do that. That's prepping? I'm still in bed. That's good. We should do that. I am under the covers. A bed cast. That's how terrified I am of this show. And you all.

We like our guests worried. I am. That's what we like. I'm also a fan, you know, so. That's what we need. We want someone who just laughs along. You don't even need to say anything. Just be like the canned laugh.

You have a show in Chicago Monday and Tuesday. Yes, I do. And we're recording this right before it. That's right. So this is a Rush to Presses one. People can go to LincolnLodge.com or they can go to your website, but as you pointed out, LincolnLodge.com is probably the easier pronunciation. My name is, it's an anti-Italian slur at this point but francescafiorantini.com.

Yes, Monday the live Bituation Room which is my podcast which both Dave and Gareth have been on. And then Tuesday stand up late show 9pm is going fast and it'll be very fun. And this is you and your delightful husband, correct? Correct, yes, Matt Lieb. We love him. We're big fans of him. We should have him on sometime.

Yeah, we should. Is he available? You want me to go get him? Is that OK? I mean, I feel like that's so weird. He's probably a better guest. I mean, I'll just go get him. All right, Francesca, let's get into it.

We've got to talk about this late breaking dead news. You don't know. I don't know. Stop acting like you know. All right, Francesca, let's get into it. We've got to talk about this late breaking dead news. You don't know. I don't know. Stop acting like you know. Stop acting like you know what we're going to talk about. You don't. Once the docuseries about how this all works comes out,

you'll see. There's a script. We like to allow the guest to guess the year this paper's from after I do it. Let's be honest, yeah, I'm kind of, I mean, my name's in the show title. I'm gonna guess that this one is from the year, fuck it, let's go old school, 1841. That's crazy, it's like.

Stop. It's crazy, it's a crazy 1841. I would guess like 40 some odd years off. OK, I'm going to guess. What did you just say? Don't listen to him. No, no. He's like I would guess like 40 some odd years off that. Well, so I just think he's around 40 years.

Well, I'm going to go in. OK, if just dart your eyes into which direction, please. And then I will. I don't like. OK. You went up, Dave, and fuck you for going up, because I don't up could be forward or back. But here, since I'm going to be in Chicago, Haymarket riots or the affair uprising, I'm going 1880.

Well, you're going to be right. That was so close. 18'm going 1880. Well, you're going to be right. That was so close. 1883. Nice job. That was so close. Now it's becoming a point for Franny. So close. Good job.

Oh, my God. You're really good at this. Thank you. It is the News and Observer at a Raleigh, North Carolina, October 3rd, 1883. Year of our Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you for pronoun a Raleigh, North Carolina, October 3rd, 1883, year of our Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you for pronouncing Raleigh properly. They're very particular.

I've been there a few times. They're like, you're being like Raleigh, and they're like, oh really? You want a fight? Don't you mean Raleigh? So what's the grocery store chain name? Uh oh. It's not Raleigh's, is it?

No. I think it's Rails. Pretty sure it's with a Z. I like that. I should know this. The other day I broke down the geographical gas station and grocery store. Like the way you're going through it. And when you go through come and go territory. That sounds fun. You're about to hit KC.

It's just the whole thing. It's exciting. It's a good life. Not a lie. That's how you know you're doing parts of the country. Oh yeah. That's how you know you're really seeing America's asshole. What?

It's a great town. Okay. What happened in Raleigh? Wow. October 3rd. I gotta be honest. Spooky season. I gotta be honest. I don't like how Francesca is just so done with the banter that She's just Insisting we move through it. I thought that was a pretty good gas station vamp, but alright fine

They didn't like it. We'll do the old come and go into the news. Let's go. Alright, Dave. What do you got? It is what's the okay. I'm, Gareth, what is the best gas station supermarket matchup in the country? We're getting the ACs. My bad. We're ACs Publix. Okay, okay. We're getting a little dose of Matt's life right now.

A little dose. And mine. Both of them. It's a competition. All right, what do we got, David? Babe, come on, babe. Just keep going, just go. Get through it, babe.

Get to the point, babe. Let keep going. Just go. How do you get to the point, babe? Let's hurry. Potato Bugs Doom. Wow, that's a start. The decline and fall of the Colorado potato bug should be a warning to all other insects and might even serve as a hint to the English sparrow. Hopefully they're reading this because otherwise they might not heat it.

The English. Oh, yeah. The English part. Yeah. Just like I just see the the the glasses down on the tip of the beak. One of them is just telling the other one is like, all right, let's let's get to the paper. That. Yeah. So they're yeah, the potato bug isn't going to know what's going on. It's just going to die.

But the sparrow better listen up. The regionality of what people call the potato bug as you go through the country has always fascinated me. You know, you'll go North Carolina, they're potato bugging. Then you go middle of the country when you're hitting the come and goes, they'll call roly poly.

Then when you're getting to the Casey. A roly poly? I was doing a bit on how much my regional comedy sucks, but yes, they are called roolly Polies in some spots. Ripped my headphones out. I'm done. They're called Rolly Polies here. Or pill bugs.

A Rolly Poli. It's not a big one with the legs. It's a, what I consider, this is a great question. This is. The gray guy. Yes, yes, yes. No, when I found out what a potato bug was, I was like, oh, that is so un-cute.

It's just like the nasty, yeah. No, yeah, exactly, that's a, yeah. Brown, fatty little thorax. I love it's like, it's like a baby armadillo. It's like armadillo juice. No, no, no. Yeah. What?

It's like armadillo juice. It's not at all, no, it's not. Come on everybody. You need to stop talking. All right, that's fine. Okay, so Gary, do you know what a potato bug is? I do. Then the other one, the gross one?

Yeah, I just looked up potato bug. I know what it is, same as Roly Poly. Dave, are the dogs eating steak? There's something happening outside and all the dogs in the neighborhood are going crazy right now. Yeah, roly poly, potato bug, same thing guys. So welcome to my little world.

I feel like the dogs want in on this debate here. They don't hate it. They're just barking at a roly poly right now. It's just funny when he opens the door and you just see like three tails. Just dogs are like, we need to talk to you, Dave. There's a lizard. OK, back to the our sweet sweet potato bugs. Starting from his home in the far west where he had long been,

first of all, we've gendered the potato bug and has a house., and as a house and sounds like a raise a where he had long been content to feed upon some cheap and modest weed his awakened ambition I've been to Colorado and had the same attitude. Ha ha ha. Pure swag. Cheap and modest weed. Yeah. I'm gonna mute, I'm gonna mute Gareth. I'm trying to mute myself, but it's, I don't know, I guess I put a block on myself.

Ha ha ha. And even benighted to Europe, announcing himself as the terrible Dorophora Deslim Desimilinita. Wait, wait, wait, wait, benighted to your, wait, he's a knight in Europe? Is that what we're saying? The potato bug is not a roly poly, not a potato bug. He's been benighted in Europe as who?

Is benighted a term? That dog is eating something, everybody. I believe it's itself. It's a potato bug. There's nothing in here to eat, so. Normal. And she ate it. OK. Closure. Yeah, I think benighted means that it's gone to Europe and

been it's part of the royal court, I guess. OK. Serpentated bag. Lord Roly Polly. I'm going to move forward here. The whale of the impoverished farmer was music to his ear, and he would laugh and make puns to the effect that he was the great devastator. Am I a roly po? I'm junky, I'm pun filled.

Scoffing at mouth as he multiplied and multiplied, but he did not replenish the earth for years. He rolled and terrorized. Maybe he rolled. scoffing at mouth as he multiplied and multiplied, but he did not replenish the earth for years. He rolled and terrorized. Maybe he rolled. Wait, wait, wait. So this is the this is the cute one. This is the roll. Oh, he ruled. Oh, he ruled.

I thought I heard roll. I don't think so. Not a roll. No, he's a potato bug. They don't have the same. It's regional. It's like bubbler and water fountain. When will I be listened to?

When you stop saying crazy things Okay, so he's he's wandered the land he really doesn't have a purpose he's searching he's kind of yeah He's he's yeah, he's looking for things to ruin his Saturn is returning 28 years, right? Like, you know, did you say Saturn's returning? years, right? Like, you know. Did you just say Saturn is returning? Yeah, of the potato bug. She did. And I'd like for you to act like a self-prime. He's like trying to find himself. He like got out of a toxic relationship.

He like doesn't really know what he wants to do, but maybe he will go back to school. I love it. It's great. What am I? Other bugs began to be born or to appear, who, envying him and his greatness, formed combinations against him. All right. It's time to talk about the journalist.

And I'm air quoting a little bit. What's what's going on here? The idea of getting this deep into the head of the potato bug. Someone had to do it. I don't think they did. I think this journalist has definitely like like has I don't think they did. I think so. This journalist has definitely like, has fastened antenna that they made. Yeah, it's in like a thick suit.

Chicken coop or something like wiring. Like they're. It's also very possible that this journalist is just going through some sort of crisis and is putting a lot of this in the head of the potato bug. Clearly, clearly. And honestly, he found that recently Kathleen wouldn't sleep with him.

But even when he told her that he was sorry, that yes, he was exchanging letters with another femme, he didn't really mean anything by it. It was just a way of him to have an emotional relationship with someone who wasn't always fixated on the kids. And even when he lets her know that, she says, oh, maybe you should go to Europe and talk to her for a little while. And maybe he did. Maybe the potato bug and talk to her for a little while. And maybe he did. Maybe the potato bug did go to Europe for a little while.

And when he got there, he realized there wasn't that spark and he came home. And when he told her what he found, all she said to him was, I wasn't serious about you taking that trip. I mean, she said to do it. It's crazy. It was agreed that the little ladybug should feed on his eggs and that an ugly dust colored bug put like a six cornered kite on his legs and calling itself the soldier bug should jab its

lance into him on every occasion. This is the boss some kind of fly volunteered to buzz around and fill in with something that he would take it into the ground with him. And that would produce death. What terrible run on. I'm completely. Yeah, they need a punctuation. What is this paper again, Dave? Can you just remind us? Is this a pamphlet?

This is Potato Bug Weekly. And the first article is whether what's a potato bug. But look, the potato bug came west and even went to Europe. And when it got to North Carolina, then other bugs started, you know, attacking it. Harshing its mellow. Yeah. So it just had a hell of a run. And then now we're like, hey, stop. Yeah. Now it's not now.

It's not an easy ride, is it? No, no. It's a crazy ride. I don't think anyone's ever I'm the I'm the guy who said they're roly polies, and I've never thought about a potato bug this much. The result was that the great unassisted immigrant from Colorado. This is insane. Began to so diminishing numbers, the potatoes once more came to be known as an article of human diet.

And in the year 1883, he had fallen off so vastly as to cease to be feared even by children. What? Well, that sucks. The potato bug now is dying off and the potatoes are able to grow. And it can't even scare children anymore. Which like I was scared by potato bugs.

And also I thought when you squished its little thorax that it would like bleed potato. But that's not true. Just like now and laters. When I first ate one, I put it in my mouth and then I took it out and waited for about 20 minutes. And followed the directions. Yes, I did. Yeah. And fucking nothing happened. That's me with Laffy Taffy. Every time I'd put one in my mouth, I'd go,

now that's a taffy. Follow the directions. You follow the title of the candy. But it sounded like it worked for you. It did, yeah. Anyway, no potato to be found in the potato bug. And yeah, if it's not scaring kids, I mean, honestly, at this point, it's going extinct, like bye.

Like there's no more reason to exist. And the ladybug's jabbing you, fuck. Let's all agree on the fact that this is an insane first article for anything. Even an insect magazine. It's a good writing sample though. Yes, it is. It is a nice creative writing sample.

What if while you were reading it, a dog was licking your feet? Now that, now that my friend is a lot. That's my fetish. I like to sit alone, read papers from the 1880s while I have a canine suck my toes. Am I the only one? That's why I got office peanut butter. Oh God. News observations. Sullivan, the Boston boy, is to give the Wilmingtonians a specimen of the manly art this week, and the Rosinopalitans are happy.

What? That's it. Specimen of the manly art. Yeah. What do you think the manly art is? Yeah, what's the manly art? You tell me just off the top. I think it's semen paint. Over talking over a woman. think it's semen paint over talking over a woman got it Semen paint taking having her say an idea and then you take it and act like it was yours. Mm-hmm

Not cleaning the house got it Like MMA or something like that, that's great too. That's hot. You know what it is It's just it's just the painting of the slap fight league It's probably a yeah, it's probably some kind of wrestling or something, right? Yeah. Imagine at that time. Yes, it is wrestling or boxing. Could be. I mean, those sound like just the worst team names ever. But yeah, the Wilman Tony, not in Austin's.

Let's go not in Austin's. This is our year. Hans von Bülow, the famous pianist and composer, Austrian, is in a lunatic asylum, but kind providence still as the man with an accordion, his liberty. Now, is that literal? Yeah, I think he's in an, I think that Hans Van Buleau is in a Sanis album and they gave him an accordion so he could still play. This is fair. This is good.

I definitely, I'm glad we don't, you know, well first of all we don't have anywhere near the level of, you know, mental health aid. Accordion players. We need, yes, but I also, I will say it, Lunatic Asylum must have been a fun run to be able to just call it that casually, because it is a terrible name, but it's also the funniest way to put it. And throw an accordion into that room,

and you know, we have something that, probably not helpful in any way, but comedically, fruitful when we're over 100 years away. Absolutely. Just some guy in a room, just like, wah, wah, wah, and he came out weird Al Yankovic. I think everyone in the insane asylum should get an accordion.

I agree. But then imagine working there, you'd be like, I'm going to need to be put in one of these rooms pretty soon. This is fucking not OK. The worst instrument to give anyone. Yeah, you just give them mental health issues. A bagpipe. Yeah. That would be broken and broken glass.

Go just give them a jug. You know what? They actually formed a poker group, which is crazy. My friends had a had a baby when Barney was popular. And so I bought the baby is singing Barney and it became the kid's favorite toy. And man, did they fucking hate me. I did the same with like for my nephew with like a little robot that would just be like he was just like a fired up little robot. He'd be like, let's go, let's get it on. And then he would play like a loud song.

So really aggro? Oh god. Yeah, and I thought, I was like, oh, it's like visual and all this stuff. And my brother was like, hey man, let's learn a lesson from this. Cause we're like hiding it from the kid. I think Barney honestly, like, like hindsight, Barney was one of the better ones.

I agree. One of the least annoying. Yeah, cause he was just kind of like, we're the best. Yeah, yeah. How old's your kid now? Now she's almost two. Oh yeah, you're right in that area. I'm right, yeah.

Yeah, we're starting to get into like shitty knockoff peewee, you know, like Blippi, if you've heard of Blippi. He's real bad, real obnoxious. I love Rachel, Miss Rachel's great. Miss Rachel's getting real big. I don't know that one. Ugh, the first thing, and anyone who watches, anyone watches Miss Rachel, the first thing you think is,

this is the most annoying woman on earth. Second thing you think is, I could do this. Third thing you think is, no, she's a goddess, she's amazing, and only she can do this. Wow. All right. That's sleep deprivation. You's amazing and only she can do this. Wow. All right. That's sleep deprivation. You should watch, I think it's Tiny Chef, I think it's called.

That to me is the funniest one. It's for kids, but man, that little guy's hilarious. Are you watching Kids Care Kids? Yeah. Yeah. I'm in that phase. Just come home, decanter myself a bourbon, sit down and watch a little tiny show. A bourbon?

So much weed. It's called the weed and weep. Francesca would like to get back to you. I was just wondering if it like... Francesca is ready to get back to you. I'm done, I'm done, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She's a little over the edge. Move it along.

Let's go. Time is money, assholes. Yes, anyway. Francesca just gave us the light and I'm not sure what that means. No, I was just wondering if the story was done. I agree, I agree. No, the other one's done, yeah.

Okay, okay. A Baltimore judge decides that Marilyn Locke cannot prevent a woman from using her tongue the courts are considerably Behind hand in finding this out finally Judicial rulings I can agree that my come back around when we got the right to use our tongue and that is it was an interesting Was it before after like the suffragettes? It was Malfi, North Carolina. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Malfi, North Carolina was good.

Memory serves. What could that possibly mean? Tongue is in what, free speech? Yeah, basically free speech. They're saying this woman was saying stuff they didn't like, so they prosecute her. It's so funny to think. Use the tongue.

I know. First of all, it's obviously like, guys were like, we can't call it free speech, but she's allowed to use your tongue anywhere she likes. Wink, wink. But it also is amazing to think that, OK, we're founded, and we have the Constitution. And we're like, yeah, I'm starting

to think some of this might apply to everyone. Isn't that crazy? These mousy broads. These broads are allowed to do it too, which I just think is so prescient. That is lovely. And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group

of my my oldest friends and I and they are old Get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that And it's just always makes the experience a lot better because you know we're in a home But on the road if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go Airbnb just because it's better I like a home between a hotel or an Airbnb, I always go Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel. But recently I did start thinking, well, while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes.

It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca slash host. The colored people of the second school, but that was just the term. That was just like saying black guy back then.

It was. I know. If they wanted to make it nice to hear. But I know, but if they wanted to use another word, they would have used it. I gotta say, I'm more surprised that women using the tongue, like color people, like, okay, we've heard that, but women using the tongue to describe free speech,

I thought she was gonna be like, what'd she do with her tongue? Who did she murder? What blood did she lick? Like, no, it's just you like can you speak? Yeah, she was talking out of turn. Yeah. Yeah. Should a woman be allowed to speak?

Should she be allowed to say what she wants, where she wants? I mean, I don't know what you think. I think no. Take her to court. That same same thing. Just, you know, It's not a thing. Where is the law? I mean, imagine being out and being like, excuse me, what the hell did you just say?

Calling the cops. She just said she doesn't like her boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Goo goo gaga, ooh dah, what I do, what I do. Better. Yes, yes. Ooh wah wah. It sounds like she's complaining again,

which just turns my tummy. The colored people of the second school district of Middletown, Staten Island. Uh-oh, Staten Island's always bad. Yeah, colored people, Staten Island. Mm-mm. Yeah, they're not there anymore, correct? Same year, same year? Yeah, 1883, yeah. St. Meland. Mm-mm. Yeah, they're not there anymore, correct? Same year, same year?

Yeah, 1883, yeah. 1883, okay. Have, according to a dispatch in the New York Sun, notified the trustees that unless a white teacher who is now stationed there is removed, the children will be withdrawn from the school and set apart for their accommodation. There is no indication that the teacher in question

is objected to on account of incompetency, but his color is against him. Yes. No, it's the color. It's certainly not what the white teacher is saying, for sure. So as a racist teacher, they had a racist teacher. Yeah.

An awful racist teacher. And they're like, well, they just don't like him because he's white. Listen, enough racism. It's 1883. Whites have been through enough. This is also Staten Island. So I feel like the people who were mad about this

weren't black. Like, I mean, maybe. There was a very large, well off black community on Staten Island due to oyster fishing. We learned about it. That's a soda and I forgot about until just now and still don't think I remember it to be quite honest. But then it was like, oh, this is lucrative. Black people are gaining some wealth here. You're gonna need to go away,

we're getting ready to do the oyster thing now. Like it was like, but what? Now we like them. That's like what happened with lobster though, right? Lobster, I mean, we were just talking about lobster, it was like, ugh, gross, have it. Now we're like, should we? Lobster is lesser than oyster, we were just talking about lobster was like, eugh, gross, have it. Now we're like, should we?

Lobster, lobster is lesser than oyster. Oyster greater than lobster. You like oyster? What? So good. I don't like oyster. Really? I don't care for it. It's just like snot.

Yes. Yeah, so the most, you know what it is? It is, it's like the, you wouldn't think that the taste of the sea was good, but it is. It's actually like, you wouldn't think that the taste of the sea was good, but it is. It's actually like, what if the sea tasted like a little mini, oh, you know, just like a, oh, like that. Here's an idea. Why don't you just go drink some fucking ocean water? It's a great idea.

No, not the same. It's too salty. Yes, but you could put it in an ice cube or something. You need the snot. No, Easter to me is like, the consistency is like someone made a horse blow its nose so hard and eye came out. Yeah, but it tastes like the ocean is kissing you in a way that you've never been kissed before. I mean, I've had them and I didn't go like, wow, the ocean just frenched me.

I was like, are these like $30? No. No, no, obviously free, sorry, free oysters. You just go in there. New Year's Eve, when your friend is working a party and you go. Yeah, I do that. Sure. Yeah. It's it's sea cum. Yes. But no, but it actually tastes good.

Thank you, Dave. Right, guys. Come on! I mean, you've definitely potato-bugged the oyster pretty well, but I'm still out. I can't. I'm not gonna do it. Oh, Gary's out! Oh, Gary's out!

Sure! On his own show! I listen to you! I'm a big yes-ander, but not on menu stuff. I listen to you. Come on now. I'm a big yes sander, but not on menu stuff. I'm particular. A dispatch from Cleveland to the Republican newspapers of the East charges that Senator Pendleton, while under the influence of intoxicants, undertook to make a speech at Delaware on Thursday night last and broke down through utter inability to proceed.

Oh my God. That's awesome. So it's just because he couldn't speak. And then he also doesn't, he has camp Pendleton is still a thing, so didn't affect him too much. I doubt that's him. I doubt that's the same guy. This is like the most dignified way to say

he just like drunk slurred his way through this entire thing. Like that's the longest way. Like meanwhile, you know, our president, Joseph Robinette Biden, did not get the same kind of respect from the media when he couldn't finish a speech and a debate. Thank you. Now wait, what is this guy's name, Dave? Senator Pendleton doesn't say the first name.

I think it is the same guy. Is it this on this undoubtedly a campaign column? Me, Mr. Pendleton is one of the most temperate temperate men in public life. He has been working hard of late, and it is possible that he has contracted malaria traveling about the state at night. So they're trying to make excuses for him being, because he's a dry boy. I had a cold, right? It is exactly what we have just been going through, to your point, Francesca. It's like they excuse away dementia.

They're like, he had a terrible debate because he had a cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He forgot how to use verbs. What if they said malaria though? He had malaria? He has malaria. Okay, give him a break. That would have worked.

That would have gotten me. The president's got scurvy. He's all down. He's a skeptic. Relax. His tongue's falling out. He couldn't remember who was who. He thought Macron was someone else.

I did a fight for the rights for women to use their tongues. Yeah, yeah. Women's rights for women to use their tongues. I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. He couldn't remember who was who. He thought Macron was someone else. I did a fight for the rights for women to use their tongues. Yeah, yeah.

Women should have body autonomy. Thank you, Senator Biden, President Biden. Is the dog still licking your feet? Yeah. Nope. The dog is now up on the, oh, can you see him? Postcoital. There you go.

Never seen a dog smile after sucking Dave's feet. postcoital They all do that every dog You're okay every dog all dogs around the neighborhood dogs Maybe all dogs lick my feet and then smile. Okay all dogs The Duke of Tech one of the scions of German royalty who has fastened himself upon the English royal family by marriage, is wandering on the continent of Europe with his wife to keep away from his importunate creditors. Oh, he fastened himself like a barnacle on a European wife. from his importunate creditors. Oh, he fastened himself like a barnacle on a European wife. He married.

And he's now just floating. Now he's running. Well, I respect this. I feel like this is like, this paper is being honest. I feel like this is a clearly a woman writing under a male pseudonym. This is just like, yeah. Leaching off his in-laws to avoid paying his creditors.

But he's a tech duke. So this is sort of the Elon. Yes. It's called the iPad. This is more, I have this fantasy, by the way. This is going to go dark fast, Francesca. Yeah, it is. In like the worst of times, so the end times, like everything's falling apart.

2028. It's a total nightmare. Everyone's dying. And then Elon Musk tries to leave the planet. Oh, thank God. And his spaceship blows up, and for one day, everyone has an experience of joy, and there's parties all over the world. Now let me one up the fantasy.

It's all the it's all these billionaires. They all are. Let's finally use the SpaceX pod. We trust you, Elon. And they're too chicken shit to test their own stuff. You know, I think what's probably going to happen is he'll get he'll test the Neuralink first, but he'll still own Twitter. But we'll be running for president while simultaneously just having fits of rage from having a chip in his brain. He had an amazing week last week, over the course of last week, because not only did he have that Trump interview that was insane, and then he said

that there was a cyber attack. Smart, we're looking into this. Yeah, it's just insane, obviously. But then also what his the the two tweet thread that his kid put out there about the kind of man he is. Yeah. So fucking awesome. Yeah, it was just like Dan Vivian. We love her. Yes, it just was like it did make you go like, oh, there is some like wise genetics

in the pool a little bit. It just eluded him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I was very much like, oh yeah, it's definitely nature over nurture. Yeah, totally. You just, sometimes they come out good. He's just a real prick.

And yes, he's a manipulative prick, but she was just like, here's what you are. A cosplayer. Okay, so back to the, this is more creditable than the old way, as it shows that one royal nuisance has enough pluck and energy to get out of the way. The old time method was to get more money from the people and go on and on in a career of expensive uselessness without so much as fleeing from an anxious creditor. It was about three fourths of the court hangers on would do the same thing.

England would be much relieved. Wow. So this guy's saying that all they should all run instead of. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. Better. What do you mean? Like just like leave their homes? Yeah. Instead of continually taxing the people and taking money from the people, just just bounce.

We actually go to Mars. I mean, I truly speaking. I like the analogy. I think it's very pro and I do. I just feel like our problems would be so much better once billionaires can get to their Elysium in the sky Or go to Mars just fuck off. Just fuck off. Go. Yeah, let us try a little bit Yeah, exactly. Give us the rain. There's not gonna be a vacuum of power. They'll still be like we need those resources

We of course, I mean, it's well, that's what all Mars exploration I'm sorry you guys people who love space hate me so much, but I'm just like, all it is, is taking a plant into outer space and going, is it dead yet? Oh, it's dead. You know, like, you're like, oh, hey, you know where plants grow?

You know where life grows? Fucking Earth, idiots. Let's go there. Take care of that. Yes. Let's try to go there. Pandora is on Earth. We don't have to go explore.

I do love all the, it is amazing the way it has just flipped to escape now. Yeah. It's escaped now. Or we could just stop using oil. They're like, Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Stop it. It's just one, it's truly, it's all they're building the underground bunkers. That's very exciting. That's going to be great too. But it is shocking that it's just like, we can't stop using oil. Like, you're like, really one thing could change all this. And they're like, it's impossible.

Stop it. Why not redirect all this to just harness the energy of the sun? No, no, fuck the sun. Fuck the sun. Stop it. You sound crazy. My friend asked me about. Stop the sun. Stop it. So crazy. My friend asked me about solar panels the other day, and I had to explain to him it was too late. The California change the laws to make everything great

for the utilities and not the not the person who puts it on the roof. Sorry, your lovely Democrats fucked you. Oh, but Gavin Newsom is sweeping homeless encampments. Don't buy him. So I buy it single handedly, Oh, but Gavin Newsom is sweeping homeless encampments. By himself. By himself. Single-handedly throwing out people's entire possessions. He's super rich.

I've gotten very political. I love it. Washington, D.C. application has been made to the War Department by the few survivors of the Confederate Brigade residing in Nofuk for permission to use their old battle flags now in possession of that department on the occasion of the reunion to take place in a few weeks. Oh, that's like just for old time's sake. So wait, are they? Yeah, no, they're they're Confederates and they I guess using the

maybe flag is illegal at this point. Yeah, that won't hold, but they are. They're like, may we get together and pretend we're still a unit? Maybe this was the problem. It's not that we didn't finish the reconstruction. It's that we allowed the Confederate flag to be used just for like old time sake, just for like a little reenactment.

And then it all, you know, it led from there. The solution was right in front of us. Turn all of the Confederates into slaves, just flip it. Clearly. Jesus, is that good. Just like a couple of days a week though, you know? Yeah. Such a good one. Yeah week, though, you know. Yes. They could one.

Yeah. For like for like. Yeah. We're abolishing slavery, except for those of you who fought it. Wait, what? You love it so much. Why not be a part of it? Well, hold on. What do you mean? No, you're into it. You want slavery. So we're going to have good news. Yeah. You're going to finally be an intern at the company you rule.

This is like the Tyra wearing the fat suit around town equivalent, you know, like after just living like a slave for one day, I really saw the errors in my ways. Not enough is connected to that Tyra footage. Yeah, or maybe too much is a very old reference. Oh, it's the best. It's also like when she was like, we know you have a fear of pennies. We put a thousand dollars in this jar of pennies. And the woman's like, what? She's like, torture yourself for money. See how easy it was. Get over your fear. Fear of pennies. See? Yeah. Yeah. Copper. Yeah. Just. What do you mean copper? Oh Oh yeah, it's copper. What? People have a, is that a thing?

People have fear of different textures and yeah. Yeah, there was a, yeah. I saw one with someone who was terrified of almonds and it was crazy. Almonds, olives, pickles. Mori Povich chased someone around his studio with a pickle. Well, I've done that. That's what Louis CK used to do.

So you're just afraid of like a little like Mediterranean spread. Yeah. Yes. The when they're dried apricots and feta cheese and the goji the hard salami sliced so perfectly and the water crackers. Yes. Yes. It's how I feel about your your little lovely sea cum that you enjoy so much. Oh, yeah. Oysters. Put that on the menu. Watch sales.

There are several hundred Confederate battle flags stored in the War Department. General Drumm said today that the application would have to be refused as neither the secretary of war nor the president can give or lend these flags without the sanction of Congress. Wow. Yeah, you don't get to use the fucking you lost the fucking war. You lost the fucking war. I know. It's over. It's really like time. It was time to forget, Dave.

Oh, forget it'll happen soon. Crazy. Every time I see a Confederate, I'm like, it's pretty obvious what you're suggesting. It's crazy. It's not a symbol of a different time. No. They could, I'm like, is there, was there a way that they could have just like

redesigned the flag, you know, to be like, this is Southern pride, but also slavery's bad. But it's like the Punisher logo. It's like, eventually they would be like, eh, eh, eh, wink, wink, you know what I mean? We liked it better. I like Dave's solution a lot. I'm super into that time traveling experiment.

Thought it was her young man's arm. Oh God, oh God. No. It's not a good headline in there. There's an animal or a tree if we're lucky. Tree's best case scenario. While several young couples were strolling along the wooded walks at Sheridan the other evening, one of the ladies felt that she was being squeezed but said nothing about it until she noticed that the gentleman

who was walking with her was twirling his cane in hand., a L black snake curled tightly around her. Oh God. Stop. She was like, boy, I love it when he finishes the circulation in my leg. Oh gosh, look at him. Wow. How does that happen? I don't know. Wow, he's really moving fast, but whatever. Yeah, wow, okay.

Wow, jeez, stop biting me. My leg's numb. I'm foaming. Boy, you really move fast. What a night. Okay, so he's got a cane, but there's also a snake. She thinks that there she thinks he's got his arm around her waist and then she looks down and sees he's holding a cane and not her

and then looks down and sees the snake. It's just I just I find it. Take me home. Please. I don't believe this. I don't either. That's what I was just going to. Oh, really? I don't. I think this is one of those ones where it's just like Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, like, oh, if you call in at like 859, you can get in and like come with some wild story I did but I hung up before I got like I said that I I'm sorry. This is oh, sad 13 year old me but egged on by a friend said that I had Masturbated with a light bulb This is why women can't have free speech

And that it had broken inside of me. Oh my God. Which somehow in my mind made sense that I like wasn't in the hospital and was just. Oh my God. And so I was like, Adam Carolla, tell me what to do. And oh my God, how those guys have not held up. He's a fucking idiot, but he would have sniffed that out in a second. That's I know. I know. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised I got past the screeners.

I am, too. They were probably like really desperate. Oh, my God. That's an amazing. And then you hung up. Like this is I can't believe this. Well, yeah, I'm not comfortable with this to be honest. It's crazy. Prepared for them to pass me along. Yeah. I can't believe this. I'm not comfortable with this to be honest. It's crazy. I was not prepared for them to pass me along.

Yeah. I like when later in life, when you're seeing someone like Adam Carolla and you're like, how did this guy just get plucked from nowhere to become successful? And then later on you find out he's a crazy conservative and you go, oh. Yeah, but that's my question is, was he always

or was he also? Okay, so that's why. Yeah. Yeah, that's why. But at least Dr. Drew is held up. Held up. We're fine with that. And it was somehow not creepy that 15-year-old girls would be calling into Love Line and talking about things adjacent to that. It was a different time.

Oh, so her company company being the guy, her company wouldn't go within a rod of her, fleeing, like Edison. Oh, not French. Fleeing, fleeing when she attempted to approach him. So that's nice. The guy ran off. That's cool. Finally. A snake. I really identify with that. Wait. Oh.

Speaking of bugs, I was with my daughter the other day and you know those nasty ass like blue shiny beetles that just sort of like hover and they were loved. They're just like this anyway. They're everywhere right now. One came right towards us and I ran and I left my daughter. Oh, geez. I didn't know about that. I just left. I was like, ah. One came right towards us and I ran and I left my daughter. Oh, geez, I didn't know about that. I just left, I was like, ah, and I ran.

Matt's like, where is she? You're like, she's been eaten by beetles. We need to make another. There was that gross beetle. So I realized I had just run. I went to go get like somebody to thwad it with or swap it. Whatever, thwad. Thwad I love.

I'm, my brain's not working. Go ahead. Swat it with, but it's funny because I was like, oh bro, my instinct literally was just to ditch my daughter and have the beetle land on her, which it didn't. She was fine. I like that. I like that decision.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, self-preservation. Yeah. Anyway, so he was like, bye. Yeah, he took off like a man. Yeah, yeah, he said he got the hell out of there. Like, I hope you live. Call me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He said he he got the hell out of there like a. I hope you live. Call me.

Finally, a farmer's boy went to the rescue and whacked the snake on the head with a butt of a whip and told him if I whack it with my butt. Oh, that's a meat. Cute. That is. Oh, a farmer's boy had to come in and rescue. Yeah. Yeah. We're picturing. I'm picturing. That's a meat cue. That is a very... Oh, a farmer's boy had to come in and rescue? Oh! Yeah. I'm picturing Opie.

You're picturing like a sexy farm hand. Yeah. Yeah, sexy farm hand. The reptile was over four feet in length and had squeezed the girl so tightly that several of her corset stays were broken and it is feared that two of her ribs are cracked. See this is a time when a... I really don't believe a woman would walk around pre squeezed. So there is an advantage to that a little bit.

Snakes like it was already squeaky. She was like, there's already a boa around her. OK, so Dave's calling bullshit on it. Yeah, that whole thing is bullshit. The farmhand makes me think it's a little more possible. Really? Yeah, because that's like a third party now. Yeah, there's multiple witnesses. I'm holding the... So you're saying I'm saying that the that the The writer just wrote a totally fake story. There's nobody real here. Yes fifth season of The Wire. I suppose that's possible. Write this down and see.

You're right. That's going to happen. Yeah, no, that's possible. I suppose journalists could just make up shit, Dave. You're right. But that would never bite us in the ass, would it? But it's all to solve the case, the broader case of the reptiles assaulting humans. Every subscriber to a newspaper can do much for the paper reptiles assaulting humans. Every subscriber to a newspaper can do much for the paper by becoming a reporter for it.

The last article really showed that. Are they raffling it off? This guy invented Facebook. Yeah, this guy's like, hey, this paper sucks, help. Hey, did you see the first story? It was about a fucking potato bug. First person potato bug story. That would greatly help the editor in getting out a readable sheet.

The trouble with the average subscriber is that he is not content with being a reporter. He wants to write the editorials. OK, so this guy's just this guy's just getting a lot of opinions that he doesn't like. Yeah. Yeah. I love that even in the call, like the help wanted ad, he's editorializing about how others editorialize. He's having an editorial about how much he abhors editorials. Yes. Yeah.

This editorial is what I call meta. Anytime we do editorial voice on this podcast, Francesca, Andy Rooney is the voice. and I was like, every time I bang my old boyfriend, he just complains. What's the deal with missionary? It's just not religious. Go ahead, Dave, I'm done. I called, I called LeBla once when I, I said I had broken 92 Christmas ornaments in my anus. Yeah. Ooh, like anal beads?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, ornaments. They didn't light up because one of them didn't work. Yeah. Oh, ornaments. They didn't light up because one of them didn't work. It's the worst. I had to track it slowly. The staple gun was unnecessary.

He wouldn't have been suspicious at all. I feel like he would have taken that call. Yeah, for sure. You put it inside your ho-ho-hole. Remember one thing Adam Kroll would always do, he would always, like, people would say something and he'd go, so what, is he, does he, is he lay carpet or is he,

and he'd always put it on a construction guy and you're like, oh, yeah, so the working class is the problem, gotcha. I didn't, I didn't clock that. He gave away so many little hints about how he was a piece of shit. The eel boom continues, and there were several wagons on the streets

from the Katova to yesterday, must be a ship. The fishermen say that the recent rise in the river, which enables the eels to swim up the stream in schools, is the cause of the remarkable catch. One farmer near Rosili's F Ferry caught 3800 eels in three days. But and put them all in a compost heap, thinking there was more money in them as manure than there was as a marketable article. Oh, that is just talk to anyone.

You just grind about it. It is just that's the most white guy. That's the most white guy fucking story ever. Like 3800 eels. He's like a composted like. Doug, you should have asked someone what to do. What? Yeah, I mixed them in with cement. And we're laying brick with them. I mixed them up.

So now we can make an eel home. I'm in in with cement and we're laying brick with them. I mixed them up. So now we can make an eel home. I'm in touch with nature. Ah, but do you think people weren't eating eel? Eels were no. Oh, God, no, they were eating so much eel. It was oysters and eel were the big things that people. So where do you stand on eel? There there are ships in Dave answer the goddamn question. Where do you stand on eel? They terr there are ships in Dave answer the goddamn question. Where do you stand on Eel?

They terrify me. I've come face to face. I don't want to have anything to do with them. You've come face to face. Just saying, yeah, they don't want to be staring at each other in the eye. Dave debate on one on Young Turks. Well, snorkeling. OK, you don't understand. We're all going in different directions with this.

I don't think mine's right, so who wants to take it? Look, I was just trying to make it so it didn't sound like I was coming on eels. But yeah, but you definitely were. But it did at the beginning. Well... Okay, that is scary. That is scary. That's when they're out on the heap in the background. Okay, so people were eating a lot of them, but he was like...

A lot of eels. He had never... He had just eaten oysters. He what do we do with these? I guess he thought that there were so many eels that the the market for them wouldn't be good. Sure. Talk to someone. So he just threw him on a pile as you do instead of letting him get. Hey, now it's soil.

God, that would smell so bad. Oh, why don't you just let them swim in the fucking river. Why are my watermelon? I don't know. I covered it in eel. Yeah, no, the obvious question is why not just let them be. But again, I think you're you're forgetting who we're dealing with. We're dealing with the white men of the 1880s. Kill everything. Kill everything.

Kill everything as quickly as possible. I mean, he had 3800 deals and then he was like, now what? Right. And the point was just to kill him. Yeah. I mean, maybe like 1400 in. Wouldn't you be like, what am I doing? Enough. What am I doing? Do I have a direction for this I'm not even a fisherman I know I don't even I shouldn't even be out here I'm on a rowboat What's my deal?

How high do you think that pile was that pile? Huge a pyramid like his wife was like what do you do it he's like I don't know I'm gonna turn it into soil man I'm like farm Poseidon this is just a little one sense blurb turtles are selling at 10 cents a pound in Florida. I mean, we have just fully- That's like a headline from today. Yes, that's very true. And we have really just, we just declared war on the ocean quite a while ago.

And we were just like, I mean, we really just were like, the ocean is sizzling. Let's go. Yeah, that's so sad. Turtles are very, it's very difficult for me to watch and think of that. Eating turtles. What do you do with turtle? Are they just eating them?

Yeah, they make turtle soup. Yeah. That's not like a... It's like nature's bread bowl. Yeah. Turtle soup isn't like just a name of something, like a potato bug. It's not actually turtle soup. It like a like just a name of something that it like a potato bug. It's not actually turtle soup. It's just like, oh yeah, there's like beef and potatoes and no, it is or it's actually turtle body. Yeah.

It's turtles. Yeah. Comes with a bowl. Comes with a bowl. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Is it the show? Just trying to make sure everyone understood the bread. Well, it's not just no, it's not. It's not. Does it come with a spoon, too? This is like a sport. No, there's a if you crack open a turtle, there's a little bowl inside.

It's not the. There's crackers. There's a little. That's where you get the oyster. You don't know. It's a cracker. I mean, yeah, yeah. Right itself. It's not great, but it writes itself.

OK, but if to they didn't know you didn't kill everything,, they didn't know you didn't kill everything. Like they didn't know, leave some of the turtles and some of the eels. Well, to be fair, in order to learn that lesson, they would have had to listen to like the natives who were there doing that for generations. You should probably think long-term. And we were like, long-term, we don't know that in English. This is selling for 10 bucks a turtle.

It's it. It's just like how there was like New York Harbor was like the oyster center of the world. There were so many fucking oysters in New York. And then, you know, after killing them all, they're like, well, the water's all dirty. Isn't there some way to clean this water? And you're like, well, the water's all dirty. Is there some way to clean this water? And you're like, we killed all the things. We ruined everything. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, it's exactly like the lesson we should be learning of today.

We should have learned 800 different times. But this is another good example where it's like, hey, you know what? What about existing? And they're like, can't worry about existing this while it's getting fat, mister. But what about existing? And they're like, can't worry about existing. This wallet's getting fat, mister. How am I going to, what am I going to eat? How am I going to get my food?

You eat the thing that you're fishing right now. No, just go out to the eel pile. Did you hear what Eric did with his eels? He turned them into chewing tobacco. What? I don't, he said he didn't think about it, but he wanted to get it done that night. Well, that's stupid.

I made a fence out of my eels. As you're supposed to. Eel Macco. Yeah. Gross, gross. This is out of Trenton. Isaac Green, an ex-convict, was arrested this evening on suspicion that he set fire to St. John's Church,

which was partially burned. Okay, let's talk about the story importance. A guy lit a church on fire, and we started with a first-person potato bug in Europe, coming of age story. We gotta go. I gotta go. Coming of age story. We gotta go. I gotta go. That's my, I gotta go.

Thanks guys. That was awesome. Dave's gotta take his birth control. Dave has to reap peanut butter. It's time for my birth control. Dave has to put a light bulb in. His eels. That's smart.

Green has been identified by three altar boys as the strange man they saw in the I don't know what that word is, some sort of. Some sort of church word that it's a place in a church. I just can't. Pew. Yep. Vestibule. Sick. Sacristi. Sacristi. It's a little it's a little smeared also.

OK. Altar saw. Let's just say Altar saw on the Altar Sunday evening service. Officer Cleary also saw him on Cooper Street in rear of the church just before the fire was discovered. He is not Catholic. There you go. There we go. They lit the fire. Pardon the pun, but nailed. discovered he is not Catholic. There you go. There we go.

They lit the fire. Pardon the pun, but nailed. It will be difficult for him to explain his presence in the church. He will be given a hearing tomorrow. Well, I think yes. So no, no cat. Non-Catholic will be in a church. Why would that the only reason to go in there is to set it on fire.

I feel like if anyone is setting fire to a church, it's probably a Catholic who was forced to be in that church. Or who was fucked in the church. Yes, oh, so that. I would just say that the sins had just come out of me and lit a fire and that I had found I turned over a new leaf. Turned over a new leaf, guys. Yeah.

Say that to the judge. This arsonist has turned over a new leaf. I'm better. I got it all out of my system. I'm better now. We know a guy in Australia who the church, it turned out, was one of them was molesting kids or more than one. And then they burned the church down.

That's true. That's how you do it. I love that. Yeah, I did that with a Burger King. The food poisoned me. Just take it to them. Take the fight to them. Here's just another one liner. The cotton this year is a failure.

That's just great. That's like bathroom stall headlines. Like a guy in the bathroom stall is like, I'm sick in this place. Yeah, that's it. Just just just not great news. OK, a serious warning to Tiplers is conveyed in the action of a lately made Boston Boston wife who was discovered Monday night deliberately spanking her husband for going home intoxicated.

Oh, that's not how you stop that behavior. Yeah, I'm not. I won't say I'm sorry. Do another. There you go. One more. What like my question is, why write this up? And and in the end back in in the day, was it like, oh, you don't want to get spanked by your wife? Like, did that actually seem like a threat or silly or was it OK?

It's I'm sure it's emasculating. Was it public? What sounds like it would have been because how else would people know? Well, you got to go outside and do the spanking out outside right in front. So everyone all your neighbors see a Bostonian. They're quite loud. Yeah. They don't let it go quick.

Reverb. I also feel like he would have put up a fight a little bit. Yeah. Like, well, not when he's that drunk. Yeah. But I mean, I don't know. I mean, unless, yeah, unless he's into it. I think we should bring this back.

He's making oysters. You know, I do like this. Why is your dick so hot? I'm punishing you. He, unless he's into it. I think we should bring this back. He's making oysters. You know, I do like this. Why is your dick so hot? I'm punishing you. He's like, I hate it. Keep going. There's another oyster. A machine lately patented turns out one hundred and eighty cigarettes a minute. It is a wonderful invention, though simple and will revolutionize the present process of manufacturing the dude's delight.

Scab. Yeah. Yeah. Scab ass machine. It's what right to work gets you. Yeah. Wait, what is this? A dude's. A dude's delight. Dude's delight. The male artistry? A dude's delight. Dude's delight. Yeah, it's awesome. The male artistry, the dude's delight.

It's just quite a time. It's AI. I feel bad that, like I'm wondering, because we had our second wave feminist movement before we realized cigarettes were terrible for us. So there's got to have been like a small cluster of feminists who were like fighting for women to be seen smoking more and like normalizing that. Like it's the freedom of.

Right. Yeah, freedom of. Freedom of tongue. That's right. All right, Capper Dave, yep. This is the end Francesca. So buckle up. I'm excited. This is big.

We started with potato bug. Where will we land? This is from Galveston. In the Baptist meeting house at Comanche Sunday, after preaching, the congregation went to a creek to witness a baptism. Two brothers, Robert and William Butcher remained in the building and got in a quarrel with one Harris. Robert received the contents of a shotgun.

Jesus Christ. Received the contents of a shotgun? That's biblical. This is like the New York Times is fucking now doing themselves. Yeah, get on your knees, accept the God. Palestinians receive the contents of a missile. Israelis bombed. Palestinians unable to deal with fire properly.

William, which was carried by Harris, and he died instantly. William Butcher and Harris then struggled for possession of the gun and Harris was so badly beaten on the head that he may die. William Butcher was arrested. The origin of the trouble is not stated. Well, they don't sound like good Baptists.

Well, they were not in the river yet. They just stayed behind. Everyone else is just singing. Yeah. Everyone else to watch the Baptists and have a good time and these guys stayed in the church and killed each other. Yeah I mean, that's why you make sure everyone leaves the church for a baptism. That's where that bumper sticker comes from Yep. Sorry everyone

Uh, well francesca. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me a pleasure an honor Uh, everyone should go to lincoln an honor. Everyone should go to LincolnLodge.com to go to your shows this Monday and Tuesday in Chicago. And if you're like, hey, I'm listening to this late, which Monday, Tuesday, well, you've missed it because we're talking about this Monday. 19th and 20th. 19th and 20th, always.

Any parting words, any parting shots? You have anything you want think back on or? I mean, I feel like you still don't know what a potato bug is and I think we need to like, you know, dissect one together. No, he doesn't know. Also listen to the Bituation Room podcast or watch it on YouTube at Franny Fio.

Wow, I mean, it was supposed to be about the paper, but you are a marketing genius, so you've done well. You've done very well. All right, well thank you. Gareth, it is called the Salbug. Or on Wikipedia, Armadilla-dilla-dilla. I called it Armadillo-cum. I called it Armadillo-cum.

But that's a... It's not a potato-cum. Ugh. Oh the potato bug is so fucking disgusting. Yeah guys I don't like getting on an argument. Okay, but we're gonna And we are also brought to you by Airbnb. Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that. It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home. But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb, I always go

Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel. But recently I did start thinking, well, while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.

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