The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 91 - The Past Times with Mike Cannon

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by comedian Mike Cannon Redbubble Merch

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh Dave. Our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites. They're crisp, they're clean, they're easy to use. You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again, but if you want to know if we really do like

Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with and it is Squarespace. Yeah, look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the- Flexible employees too. Those people are... It's weird. Okay. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful.

They do credit cards, Apple Pay, all the stuff, PayPal. They do it all. You can sell content. You can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site by adding a paywall. You can sell memberships. You can sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about?

I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting and receiving payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial. When you're ready to launch,

go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, everybody. Welcome to the Past Times Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week, the great Michael Mike Cannon. Thank you, thank you for having me.

And this is a podcast? Yes, you'll figure it out. It's like, it's a chat, it's gonna be an hour, and it's going to be about a newspaper. So it's a targeted hour, but it's very, yeah. And Mike, this is yours. I'm just unfamiliar with the term podcast. You will love these.

Gotcha. You'll find that these are big in New York where you live. Now, Mike, this is your second time on the show. The first time you did 10 minutes where you and I just caught up because Spectrum decided to screw Dave out of internet. Yeah, it was interesting. That was my first ever meeting with Dave.

It was very, it was lagging, but I assume that was just his interest. And then he just signed out. Most first meetings with Dave are like that. You're like, this is not going well. And he's gone. I got tired of you pretty quick. Yeah, I just and then I do like I do like a fake thing where I go. All my internet doesn't work.

And I just I go and then I stick around for 10 minutes and catch up with the person, even if I don't know him. And you, I know. So that's why it was an actual pleasure. Yeah. I actually really admire that quick decision making and just summing someone up instantly. I think you and Dave would hit it off. There's a father-based anger that I think both of you

would really, there's really a nice connection point there. But the last time you were here, you and I spent about 10 minutes pretending that when you have a child, you just go to observe it in the hospital and you nudge a guy next to you and you go, which comes yours? That's my come. But the reason we did that is because your wife

is about to have a child any moment now. Yeah, she's at the hospital or something now, but I told her I'm carving out time to do this podcast. You get the business. Yeah, no, do the important things. She'll get it. Yeah, she won't now, but this decision age as well. That's right.

Yeah. It's all for tickets. The kid will benefit. Yeah. Yes. Well, and to get eyeballs on your special. That's right. That's coming out September 15th, so right around the release of this.

It is going to be at chrisdcomedy.com on our friend Chris DiStefano's YouTube. Yeah. Are you excited? His first production. His first production. His first production. Very excited. By the way, I just want to put out there that if you're on Chris Distofanos,

just definitely. Dave handling his last name like everyone else. Jesus Christ. Nobody gets it right. That's actually pretty close, honestly. And you don't do well, you should probably stop doing comedy. Here's the thing, Dave, it's kind of at that point. This is a real,

this is a real Nanette moment for me. If I could go down screaming in the middle of it and just kind of work my fan base into a lather and then gain new ones just based off of my own frustration, that's the goal. Why not call it my Nanette? Can I just point that out? That seems like a great...

What is the title again? It's called Traumatized Animal, but now it might be called Manette. Or Henette. Mike Henette. Oh my God. Imagine the heat you would get if you got something Manette.

Oh my God. People would talk. People would talk. Male Nanette. Manette. Oh man. We keep going forever, but that's not the premise of the show. that Right back at you, man. And I insisted to have you on my MTV show at the time. And because they are idiots, they were like, we don't know.

And then you came on and you just murdered to the point where everyone was like, yeah, this is why Mike was such a good cult. Like, you had one of those 180 moments with executives, which is hard to do. Yeah, that was really fun. Good old Hassan Minaj, the host. Those moments are so fascinating.

I had a guy, I wrote a script for Marin and I had a guy in mind for the character I wrote and the EP was just fighting me on it and was just like, I want this guy. And he managed comedians. So he had comedians that were like, the guy's funny, but he's like a Boston type guy. And this guy was very subtle

and like screaming at each other. And I finally got my way. And then after the shooting, he was like, yeah, you were right. And you're like, I wrote the thing. I know the people. I know the people. I think I've been in the position where I've had someone do that for me. And then after the execs are like, yeah, that's why the other guy would have been great. I've had that one. First vindication. I was going to say the fact that you guys have had even one person tell you you were right in show business is such a reality that doesn't exist. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah. Yes. It's the backwards accountability.

All right. So Mike, we like to guess what year this paper will be from. Again, this is history. I'm going to guess first, because I don't have to worry about a child coming out of a woman. That's right. Well, you do. Well, yeah, legally I do.

I'm gonna guess that this paper is from the year 1902. Oh, I'm going to give I'm going to go. Shut up. Mike, guess, Mike, guess, Mike. I'm just going to say, Mike, take a guess. Mike, take off your head. But the very general hint that it is probably between one of this moment is 1925 and 1927. It's probably in that like, I'll give you a silly narrow it down a little bit.

That's crazy, because I was going to guess 1926. Oh, my God. That's it. It's not. Oh, shit. We used to have a game. That was exciting. That's a good guess. Is this around the time of the newsies? Because, man, do I when the circulation bell starts ringing, will they hear it?

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Dave, are you happy with your work? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. Activated the news boy. I don't know. You guys are big. You guys are big early Christian Bale fans. I Christian Bale. I came in around machinist.

I've never heard of the man. Does he work in actor? All right. So 1926. So things are good and about to get bad. May 5th, 1926, the Banger Daily News Banger Maine. Oh, Banger Maine. There we go.

Banger. That's a great name for a paper. That's anger. Yeah. Uh, wets and dries, flay each other in the Senate. Wet and dry. This is before Republicans and Democrats. We used to have wet and dries. Oh, yeah, they were wets and dries.

Now we have one party called damp, but we pretend we have wet and dry. It's just how each senator made women feel. Man it. Yeah, that's saving from minute. Prohibitionists and anti-prohibitionists flaying each other again today in the Senate as pending legislation was shunted to one side for a discussion that took up

through three hours and ended about where it began. What are you going to argue about after all these years? You want to drink a note? What's the- I think also I would imagine that if this were to happen today, this would be what would get you like a general strike or like unification in the streets. Yes. It's shocking to watch this actually go on in a congressional body is crazy.

Yeah. To just be like, if you imagine you're a senator, like you as a senator, you'd be like, buddy, you will be voted out next term. What are you doing? It's also just don't they like how do they show what is the pro arguments? Like they just literally start chugging on the floor and they're like, look, I can handle myself. I'm fine. The reason why we're all doing the thing where we're trying to you guys have been mislabeling this shit for so fucking long

I'm gonna hold on a second. I'm gonna stroke my cock a little bit Yeah, and also like to say fuck you Larry. You're hammered stop. This is a great argument on why This is what happens when people get drunk. We're saying this should not be allowed to happen But how do I feel anything at the dentist? What does that even mean? That's not a point you made. I drink and I don't feel anything. That's not OK.

I mean, honestly, like we are dunking on these guys. This is crazy right now. Permission to spit. I feel I don't. Jesus Christ. Another guy is going to be sick again. Permission to call my wife the seaward. What are you doing?

They said shunt by mistake. I mispronounced the seaward again because I'm hammered. The debate was all on the Democratic side of the chamber. And before it ended, nearly all of the seats on the Republican side had been vacated along with many on the minority side. So it was just the Democrats fighting amongst themselves. Nothing has changed. Wow.

Great. The Republicans just own the attitude department. They're always like, yeah, you guys are like wimps. And they're like, one moment, we're talking about the benefits of vermouth. Wait, where is everyone? But there should be a rule of first for whiskey versus vodka. Cause it's a different feeling. You say, Hey guys, everyone who matters left.

They all went to the bar. They're all getting shrunk at the bar. They all went to the bar. They're all getting drunk at the bar. Senator Ferris of Michigan and Shepherd of Texas lead the assault for the dries, while Senator Bruce of Maryland replied with a speech in which he argued the country to extricate itself from the jungle of prohibition and get out once more on the high road that leads to temperance. Wow. The jungle of prohibition. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a jungle. Well, uh, yeah, they're probably talking about all the violence, like, cause this did increase, you know, gangster activity and whatnot, which I'm right, which is funny. Cause the entire point was to try to alleviate crime in the first place, but

it basically created the It's actually kind of what America is built on you know Yeah, really is and they and then it would just it just takes like a trump to be like, you know I was the only one who knew you know,, like I saw it as the alcohol stimulus. It's also, it's just the ingenuity of the American businessman as well. It's privatization and capitalism. It's what we are. We are Shark Tank the country in a bad way.

Yeah, we are. In a bad way. That's funny, a shit-faced gangster just being like, sharks, I have a pitch. Yeah. Throws up in his own pocket. Can we see your margins? No, no, no, not your penis. I got a margin. I got a margin.

I got a margin for Lori. Stop it. Senator Shepard continued himself with reading testimonials for prohibition from educators and employers over the country and censoring those who would divert alcohol from the thousand and one uses to which it is put in industry and convert into a beverage of defiance of the law. Okay, so he's against it. Yeah, in a long winded way, just like a guy who doesn't drink, sorry, Mike. No, no, don't do that.

Here's the thing, I don't drink, but I am pro booze. Yeah, you used it. I know, I love alcohol and that's why. I'm very pro weed and I will continue to be so. And I think it is chipping away at my self worth, but it is. It is going to be around for a while. The positives outweigh the negatives. Yeah, it's like Oxy.

That's how I feel about Oxy. Yeah, same. We've all we're pro Oxy. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah. Yeah. Denouncing those who made up the legal legalized liquor traffic in pre-Volstead days as cultures, Senator Ferris said that consciously or unconsciously, those now seeking to amend the Volstead Act

were supporting that class. He described the situation as amazing. Wow. Centering the drives for abandoning their campaign of education, Mr. Ferris declared that the kind of education now going on through the propaganda of the wets is pernicious and destructive in the extreme.

Wow. It's funny, because I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day about out like her point will be like it's so damaging to your body and I'm like yes but we're all doing it a little bit there's no good argument for it other than like we're just being goofy. Come on, let us goof around. It's diluted poison. It's fine. Where they serve tater tots.

It's OK. I do get I do get bad at people that quit drinking too young because it is, you know, and I get it, everybody's got problems, their own problems. But it's like you are kind of thumbing your nose at a drink that has been around for a really long time and people have found a lot of use for it. It's like at least, you know, honor the invention for a while. I kind of agree.

Like she never drank, but I do kind of agree with the idea of like, you're supposed to learn to hate it and then stop. Like you either go like this is ruining me or you go like, I found a balance, or you know, but it is America. Like we are so, we tried the quitting. It's not for us. Yeah, no, it's not for us. Well, and also I'm like,

I probably represent a lot of people in this way, but I'm like a petulant child when anybody tells me not to do something. Like whenever I, when I started drinking, I have such a familial history that everybody was like, you're gonna stop and it's gonna be bad. The cannon hieroglyphics. Yeah. Yeah.

The family tree. Destiny is already written on this cave wall. I mean, all I have to do is look at every just, you know, wet brain dunkle I have and just be like, that is, that is exactly what I'm looking to be. All the wet brain uncles. Yeah. I mean, they were certainly the wet party. Urging that the drives refrain from taking up the Senate's time with debate.

The mayor Marylander challenged them to join the wets in a referendum on the prohibition questions could be settled by the people. Yeah, they should be referendum. Look, the people fucking pick it. Yeah. Yeah. And that is a time for the drunks to really focus up for like a challenge ahead of them.

Like, it's just like, that's like, they're gonna be like, boys, we gotta stay sober. Tomorrow's the day we vote to keep getting drunk. Yeah. Well, we should probably get, you know, grease the wheels a little bit before tomorrow, Hank, Hank, Hank. I'm just saying let's have a round so that we're prepared for tomorrow. Let's get it in now.

I'm not sure what city infrastructure was, but I do know that at one point beer was more sanitary to drink than water. Right? Like was this, is this, is the city already too developed for that? Yeah, well, they were that went on for hundreds of years, basically, like in the in the I don't know when it stopped, but probably the mid eighties, hundreds of people were just shit faced all over America forever. Like it was just Like it was just, you just drank booze. Well in Flint, Michigan it's still going on. Yeah, Flint, Michigan, no, it's better to have a Mick Ultra than anything. For real?

The people are taking showers in that stuff. They're just like, they have natty lights. And we laugh because nothing ever happened to the people who did it. Wild. Wild. Just something, there we go. Oopsies. That's right. There we go. Oopsies. That's right.

Miss Curtis Guild gets black hand demand for one hundred thousand dollars. It's a lot of money. That's fascinating. Rider warns of dire consequences if police are informed. Miss Curtis Guild, widow of former. This is from Boston. Miss Curtis Guild, widow of former Governor Guild of from Boston, Ms. Curtis Guild, widow of former governor Guild of Massachusetts has received a letter demanding 100,000 or her life. It was learned today. So they sent her a letter.

They said, give us on a grant and we're going to fucking kill you. Yeah. She's like, I don't think you could ransom me like that. That's a great way to get money. It removed the kidnapping portion. They were like, you know what's fucking us up is the kid. Let's just go right to the point. I kind of love that straight to the source.

Yeah, it is very Boston. It's like Denzel, an American gangster. He's like, I don't want a middleman. I want to go straight to Vietnam. Yeah. Give us 100 grand or the you gets it. Wait, what? He's like, I don't want a middleman to go straight to Vietnam. Yeah. Give us 100 grand or the you gets it. Wait, what? Although the entire affair was shrouded in a mystery,

newspapers have learned that the note was a typical black hand demand. You know what the black hand is? Now, it's uncomfortable and very early mafia. Oh, OK. Better. Sure. Typewritten by a personal, a person apparently possessing little knowledge of English. Okay, so... So it's a really shitty threat. It's my wife's great-great-grandfather, his Italian just typing on a typewriter.

Before spellcheck, yeah. Send Moony, alright? Kyle, you! before spell check. Sen Moonie or I Kyle you. I want a hundred brain now. The missive was set through the males and directed Miss Guild to be on hand at a certain time and place with the money in large bills. The writer warned of dire consequences if the police were informed and stated that Miss Guild was wealthy enough to pay the sum demanded without suffering financially. I like that two-hander approach.

I do. Like, don't tell the cops. Also, you can afford this. This is not going to ruin you or cripple you. So please just don't be a fucking asshole about this. Don't be a shunt. Just a small percentage. Yeah. Just a tiny fraction of what you have and I think I'd be fine. We'll both be okay after this. I also, I just love the idea of the threat is forthcoming. Like we have nothing of yours just yet, but if you don't pay this, I promise something's going to happen. Yeah. We have it. Don't make us start making more plans.

Just give us the money, lady. This is crazy. We're really busy. In addition to her prominence as the wife of the late governor, who prior to his election was ambassador to Russia, Ms. Gild has been active in the social and political world. When former Senator Walsh was governor, he appointed her to the state board of charities. In 1920, she was a presidential elector and she's a member of the National and Massachusetts Republic Women's Republican Clubs, blah, blah, blah. It goes on and on. Sure. The last year,

Miss Guild managed the campaign of the late Louis A. Coolidge, candidate for the Republican Senator nomination. So she's a high profile. This does seem like it's just as far out as raising Arizona. Seriously. Yes. Yeah, like someone was like, well, what do we ask for? He's like the path will take care of itself, boys. By the way, your typing is horrible.

You don't need to get it right. Just get the point across a little bit. Don't worry. Yeah. Phonetically, she'll get it. She'll understand. She's a smarty. She'll understand.

You sure you should sign it? Of course I should sign it. She's got to know what she's dealing with. Otherwise, she's not going to know what mafia boys. OK? Do you know what's funny? Have either Otherwise, she's not going to know what mafia boys. OK? Do you know what's funny? Have either of you and this is a weird leading question,

but have either of you gotten an anonymous threatening letter sent to your homes? I have not, but I'm aware of this this grift suit. So I have is here's the cheating one. This is because a manette, right? So mine is mine was when I was a child, when I was in eighth grade, I left a modified middle school baseball game early. And my coach was so pissed that he

sent an anonymous misspelled letter from Manhattan to my dad calling my dad and me a bunch of pussies. And he like the almost signed his name. Like it was so very clear. And then you find out, and what do you do? What's the next path? I just went to him the next day. I was like, hey buddy,

I'm not gonna play on your team anymore. I'm gonna play spring basketball instead. But he literally, the first sentence was, you're are such a pussy He called my dad a fat arrogant fool Which I completely agree with but then he like, you know Just kept spiraling on down where it was so many details from a coach's perspective that you're like, hey We know who this is your are such a pussy, and I'm not being hyperbolic. The greatest opening to a letter I've ever heard.

And we've, when I give you a ride to practice in my blue Ford focus. Yeah. Yeah, Mike, sometimes they don't put as many McNuggets as you want, but the coach still bought it for you. Say thank you. You're are such a pussy. You'll never guess what his day job was. NYPD. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. I'm investigating myself and I think I didn't do it. Here's me committing a very obvious crime. Wow, that is a fucking humdinger there, Michael. That is a classic motivational technique used by many coaches around the country. Totally. I think it's good. Yeah.

It got you playing basketball. Yeah. I don't think he saw me quitting. No. I mean, the second you guys are like, we know it was you. He's probably got a red face. He was like, what? Yeah.

We're like, you're the only guy that works in Manhattan. All the other parents are local. You're just back. What do you talk about? Come on. That's crazy. We're happy to have. No, you're are a great guy.

Your name is on the stationery. You're the backbone of this team. I are not doing it. So I travel a lot. I mean, a lot. Perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes, if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home

That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins Colorado and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like Let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money.

And the answer to that is yes. it can be an Airbnb it's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away so imagine someone's thing at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world turn your home into an Airbnb give it a shot you might be surprised at how rewarding it can be your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh Dave. Our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites. They're crisp,

they're clean, they're easy to use. You don't have to update stuff. Well, look, we've said this over and over again, but if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with and it is Squarespace. Oh, yeah. Look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the- Flexible employees too. Those people are-

That's weird. Okay. Okay. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards, Apple Pay, all the stuff, PayPal. They do it all. You can sell content. You can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site by adding a paywall. You can sell memberships. You can sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting and receiving payment.

Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No, go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again go to squarespace.com for free trial when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This is on the same page as the threat. Uh, this hen in six legs produces the equal of 12 eggs. So, so we got a double edge. Yep. By the way, a former governor's widow might be killed for money.

Also, this hand is an egg poppin. You wanted one egg. Here's two. Bingo. Byron Southwell, manager of the agricultural and mechanical hatry, has a hen that in six legs produces the equivalent of one dozen eggs. Wow. Each egg contains two yolks. Oh, I hate those. Well, fucking show off shit here. Like I do. I hate those.

Whenever I like cracking egg, I'm like, oh, not twins. Now I'm thinking a lot. What? I thought it was going to be in L.A. I like egg whites. Double. Oh, yeah. Double. Yeah. Boo. I'm the yolk. They measure seven and a half to seven and three quarter inches in oval circumference.

South Wales endeavoring. Imagine that meaning something to you. It means a lot. South Wales endeavoring to evolve a breed of fowl that will produce similar eggs. So we're talking about a potential family of double egg, double yolkers. Yeah.

Wow. That is big. I guess so. That's big. I didn't know that they, I thought it was more than two at a time. Like isn't that, I mean maybe that's now. Well they're saying, they're saying 12 at a time, right Dave? Or are they saying because it's double yokers that it's twice as many?

I think that they're, yeah I feel like they're saying because it's double yokers it's. So it's six as many. I think that they're, yeah, I feel like they're saying because it's double yokers, it's. So it's six a laying. It's six eggs, but it's like having 12. Double yoking, right. Okay, so all of them had Mary-Kate and Ashley's inside of them. Yeah, so we're talking about a twinning machine and we're like, omelets.

Like there is actually something more amazing about this, like a hen that's only laying twins and we're like, yummy, good for us, more. Two for one at Denny's. Yeah, we're just like, look at it. We call her Grand Slam. That's so human to just like, so disappointing to be like, I mean, you really would be like,

wow, there's something very special with this bird right here. That's exceptional. Like, Hey, can I get it with hash browns? Wait a minute. If we kill it, is it going to have four breasts? I really, now we're talking. Let's cut it open.

It's gone missing, but we got a letter. I are not the farmer. And I have it. It do six eggs. This would be something if companies could do, they would have done ages ago because then they'd have double yolk eggs for sale for more. You know they've been working on this for 100 years,

probably. Shocked it doesn't exist. fail for more. They, you know, they've been working on this for a hundred years, probably. Doesn't exist. How haven't they put this chicken in like an Amber thing, extracted its DNA and then created a Jurassic world of twinning chickens. Yes. Jurassic. Yeah. Yeah.

I agree. Gareth agrees. They probably could have skipped a step. Yeah, they could have. Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. It's not as if like the guys, they're like, what is he working on? He's like, welcome to Jurassic

Coop. This is the chicken coop, sir. Hey, when was the last time you hosed this area down? I'm an old man. I was. Take a look. Look at this cup of water. Nothing's happening. Oh. My wife's gone. That's weird. I don't know where you're this lube in here.

I spent it. I don't think these hands do anything special either. It was the man all the whole time. He was having sex with the chickens that was installing two chickens inside of the spits out there. I was eating this. I should have told you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Jurassic Coop is a failure. Span. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jurassic Coop is a failure. Jesus Christ. Span no expense. There's no amber. Abbott released charge against him unfounded. This is a story out of Rome. Well, John Adams Abbott of Boston has been held in jail

here for the last week on a charge of insulting Premier Mussolini. Oh, that does well. Damn. He was released this afternoon by an order of investigating magistrate. Abbott immediately returned to his hotel after removing a week's growth of beard. Shave. He can just say it. I mean, it's a you took a yeah, but you didn't need to. Sounds like he's ripping it out.

It just feels like that's not an important part of the story, but maybe. He looked well kept. Yeah. Like the scene from The Fugitive. Shocking jawline underneath all that face hair. Beautiful, but still not okay to say. He spent the remainder of the day at the American Consulate discussing the situation with his uncle, Samuel Abbott, a former director of the American Academy here.

Sure. The magistrate ordered Abbott's release today after of the American Academy here. Sure. The magistrate ordered Abbott's release today after finding the charge he had insulted Premier Mussolini was unfounded. Abbott still faces a charge of assaulting a Roman guide. Something happened here. A lot of crazy because it's like first of all, the idea of being charged for that is insane, but then also the idea that it doesn't hold after it's been levied against you from a guy like Mussolini is crazy. You'd think that would be enough. You could go in Guantanamo for less now.

The fact that he probably got in an argument with a tour guide or somebody that was trying to tell him about the area, and he was like, you're wrong And that guy's like, what'd you say about Mussolini? And that's like the fourth time this guy has tried to pull that. Yeah. It is how you really slide into fascism. Like it's just like by a bunch of tattle tales. That was rude. Yeah. I mean, awesome. We're also a nation in arcs. So who knows where the backslide is heading I think we do we talk this almost constantly our patreon is essentially the backslide Mm-hmm. That's all we do is like it's coming bad This sounds like a mix of like Brittany Griner and Liangelo ball. Oh my god

Do you remember the Angelo ball brother that went to China and like, you know, slapped a street sign with his hand and they're like, you're in jail forever. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Or what was the guy who went to like Thailand? He got caned. Like he like did graffiti and they were like, hey, no, not here. And then like the US negotiated, they're like, we got it down to 24 canings. And his family is like, excuse me. Kind of all we have. But don't worry, the proceeds from the live stream will go to you.

I are not the guy who did the graffiti. Abbott still faces a charge of assaulting a Roman guide, Astro logo, who brought both charges against the American after the latter had administered a beating to him following an argument. That's so check the shit out of the guy. American shit out of the guy. Astro logo. There you go.

That's what we do is Americans. We go into your country and thump you. Sorry. We saw Mussolini and we were like, pass. There you go. That's what we do as Americans. We go into your country and thump you. Sorry, we saw Mussolini and we were like, pass. Sorry, everybody. Looks like I brought some Boston to Rome and you couldn't fucking handle it. It's like the Irish scene in The Departed. These are dirty, dirty people. To picture potato fields in school book. Let me know when the headlines ready.

A request for pictures of Maine potato fields has been received by Commissioner Washburn of the Maine Department of Agriculture. This is the most Maine, this is Maine should be fighting against stereotypes like this. From the John Winston Company of Philadelphia, who desires to reproduce the pictures in a geography of New England for use throughout New England and in a geography reader for England for use throughout New England

and in a geography reader for throughout the United States. So the story here is that someone who makes textbooks would like a picture of a Maine potato field. Wow, interesting. Were they gonna send it back to Ireland to brag? Yeah. Look who's not dying. And we got other things too.

That's right. Helps when you don't have a whole foreign country poisoning your crops and then shipping everything else out. I'll write the letter. I don't love the tone. Let me send it to them. I'm telling them. It's not a famine, it's a genocide, you see. Hey, I'll handle this. We're admitting to a lot of this all of a sudden. I don't know. We'll make it sound like something a potato orchestrated.

Just give it away, the whole grift. Their company requested a picture showing a farmer driving a tank back and forth in a field of potatoes. This is from masturbating. Spraying the vines to kill the bugs and also a picture of potato digger at work. I'd like to see the farmer spraying all over the potatoes and he should be in a crop top and sweaty and have some dirt on one of his cheeks, face or buttock.

If you could somehow make the potato go, ugh. Then that would be. Yeah, if the potato could cover its little spot holes. Like it doesn't like it, but it's OK with it. It's glistening. I call it a step potato. It's a wet step potato. Step potato stuck on vine. Yeah.

Step potato left alone. You won't believe what happens next. In response to the request, Commissioner Washburn has forwarded some excellent pictures for illustration. Oh, perfect. That's just crazy. That is it. I said, I sent you some really hot potato stuff. Hot potato?

Well, I think she's in what? Yeah. These potatoes are potato, two potato, three potato, Pictures and what? Yeah, these potatoes are hot. A potato, two potato, three potato, four, four potato, five potato, more. Maybe that's where hot potato came from. They jizzed on the potato and then threw it to their friend. All right. Look, we can't keep doing this, but it is the original Ookey Kookee. I'm OK with saying what we're all saying.

There are a lot of articles where you'll be like, man, that was a better time. And I know that we're about to hit a nightmare time for them. But, man, just for the paper to be like a textbook wants a potato picture is just like any paper now, you're not finding anything close to this. It's just what people wanted to find out for the love of finding out. Yeah, yeah, just just simple.

Yeah, just people were like, I'm going to go out back and have an opine. And you had you had down to the cafe and you're like, do you hear about the potato pictures? Yeah. Every day was filled with whittling and fathoming. I can't process this information. Okay, so sometimes there's just one line. It's not a story. It's just one line.

Normally good news. This is a setup. Nice. The Eskimos of Greenland cannot count above 20. Oh, righty. Oh, dearie me. Good Lord. The Eskimos of Greenland cannot count above 20. All righty. Oh, dear me. Good. I meant comedically good news. It's awful.

She's. Whoa. Fuck. That's just the place. Why is this happening? Wow. Yeah. Oh, God. That's. Oh, I God. That's awesome. I just want to know how they found out.

That's kind of why, it's terrible. Why it's awesome is because it was probably terrible how they found out. Like some guy was just like cold and was like, well, that's proof, I'm going home. Like to one woman. It doesn't even reach 20 degrees. I bet they can't even count above 20.

All right. Anyway, back to the mainland. I gave them 27 potatoes and that guy got to 20 and just started crying. I can only imagine how this how little probably research went into this and how slanted it probably was even in how bad it was. Totally. I'm curious if he even asked an Eskimo. I guarantee you he did not. This is what happened. He was talking to an igloo and he was like, this is what it is.

He asked some guy he asked some guy in Greenland and he said, uh, Hey, can you count above 20 and the guy's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I've got my article. Now to kick back and relax for the rest of my trip, now to enjoy a boat ride home. And then he comes back after all that research and it's one line.

He's like, what the fuck? There's like a 30 page. What? Yeah, we did. William Hurst is furious. He footed the bill for the trip. That's all he had. You had like a 400 hour boat ride back.

He's like, that was our whole Q1 budget. What are you doing? I mean, I feel like it says it all pretty much in lights. I think that's a front page. That's a front page headline. Pretty good. No, we're going to go with the textbook stuff. People are crying out loud for potato farmer stuff in textbooks

in Maine. Uh, thousand ukuleles monthly are exported from Hawaii. Wow. On my new podcast called, okay. And I would just like to point out that in this story, they write Hawaiian ukuleles as one word. Oh. As they should.

Yeah. A thousand Hawaiian ukuleles a month are being sent to the mainland in addition to the dozens carried aboard ships by visiting tourists. The new Kani or singing coconut, a new type of ukulele also is gaining favor. We're so close to being like, I think we're being racist.

Also, this is one after the other, they are clearly just trolling the Inuit people right here. They're like, meanwhile, Hawaiians can count to a thousand. I mean, this is kind of like the new PS5, I guess, at this point. Oh, yeah. can count to a thousand. I mean, this is kind of like the new PS5, I guess, at this point. Oh, yeah. They're like a brand new instrument for you to strum on in front of a fireplace is being exported from a tropical island. They call it the singing coconut. They should call it that. No, they should not at all call it that.

The name is super misleading. It's like a small guitar singing coconut. But you have to play it. It's the singing coconut. I'm looking at it. Yeah, it's a little bit of a different ukulele. It's like round. Yeah.

Okay. Wow. It's a coconut. It's a coconut. It's a coconut. It's a coconut formed ukulele. Okay. That. Sure. It's a coconut, it's a coconut- It is a coconut. It's a coconut- Okay. Formed ukulele.

Okay. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it is. All right, all right. Not bad. All right, I'm on board. Yeah, and that was before Somewhere Over the Rainbow got covered.

That's true. So who knows thousands more singing coconuts. Well, I mean, think of all the ukulele jams somewhere over the rainbow, the cover. Yeah. The list goes on and on. I mean, I saw some guy play sultans of swing on the ukulele on TikTok the other day.

Yeah. Your algorithm's like, Mike, can you sit down? We want to talk. We're not in a good spot. My algorithm, every four videos, some lady comes on and is like, enough is enough. Go to sleep. Hi, my name is John Tick Tock. Mike, go to bed.

China's got all they need on you. Go to bed. We've got everything we need, Mike. We literally have nothing left to offer you. You have failed Manchurian candidate status. You are the worst guy here. And that's really saying something. Incidentally, the name of the most popular Hawaiian instrument

is ukelele, not ukalele, as often is mispronounced. By the way, if you're writing an article, you don't have to say incidentally, you can just say the thing. Yep. True. Yeah. You're not making a point to a friend. No, you're really not.

Bye. You know, he had one friend that he's basically motherfucking with that one sentence. Yeah. It's just no, it's been ukulele. He's actually UK. Okay. Understand, Greg.

Okay. It's just no, it's been ukuleles actually uk lay. Okay, understand Greg Okay, so There's a picture here and it's It's a bunch of dudes in what Would be a stereotypical Eskimo outfit of the time they're all holding musical instruments, like, it looks like five have banjos and one has a tuba. Sorry, so we're going from the original article

that is just that the writer believes that they cannot count above 20. Now we're into ukuleles and now we're back to them and we're like, they formed a brass band. Of 19 members. So they say, but who can tell really? Looked like 400 of them to me. Picture in costume of the Clickwatt Club Eskimos led by Harry Reiser. the just got here yeah and I was an accountant see what else was out there this banjo ensemble it's I'm just gonna tell you Mike it's not a lot of times

where I go I'm kind of done I don't know what to make of what's happening anymore it feels like it feels like someone was like, the paper's not done. And they were like, what if we just did some fan fiction on that article? What if we just combine this Hawaiian one with this Inuit one and we just kind of hodgepodge it? Harry Riser. Harry Riser, igloo owner.

So here's the thing, Jimmy. I've been banging around as a musician for a while and just haven't really landed. So I think me and a couple of the guys, we got together and we're going to put on Eskimo outfits and play the banjo. All right. What about wives?

You guys ever thought about having wives? You guys ever looked into that? Might be a good move for next maybe. Alright, what about wives? Yeah, I just never thought about Feels like you need a bad cop You can ukulele and banjo seems like such a warm weather instrument too because yeah, you need the dexterity in your fingers Yeah, what do you just strumming with a flipper? It ain't a It ain't a flipper. It ain't a mitten musical instrument. We're the mitten banjos. That sounds like shit. It was a failure to launch, to be honest with you.

Just after a couple of years, just a bunch of guys with no fingers banging on banjos. Yeah, we're a percussion guitar band. This is a coconut. The banjo ensemble is making a great name for itself over every, over the air every Thursday night. It is sponsored by the click, what club ginger ale company. Oh, there you go. Okay. Oh, it's a, it's a fucking nightmare, but I'm going to point out that's obviously hell on earth. I'm going to point out that's obviously hell on earth. I'm going to point out something else, which is that this is for the radio only.

And they're wearing these winter snows costumes for the radio. You better believe it. We're in freezing cold weather out here while they're just in a studio. I learned one time. I tried to do stand up about this fact and I don't know, it just went nowhere, but that there used to be ventriloquism over the radio is another one of those things where I'm like, what? That's awesome. Awesome. Like someone was just like, and believe it or not, my lips aren't moving. I really wish I grew up in an era where you could be limited in your talent and still achieve. You know what I mean?

I feel like everybody's so gifted now that that type of stuff doesn't fly. No, there are so many times, to that point, there are so many times when we'll, like on the dollop, we'll do a story about some fucking lunatic who was just like, you know, it was like, all he did for a summer was eat alligator. And then it's like six months later, they're like,

he was on Broadway playing himself in a show about his story. What? That's unreal. Yeah, it's okay. This is amazing, though. Okay. It's the Clico. The Clico Club Eskimo was a popular music variety radio show first heard in 1923, featuring a banjo orchestra directed by Harry Reiser. That's a crazy. A popular ginger ale clicko club was Canada's main rival. Clicko was the name of the Eskimo Boy

mascot depicted in advertisements and on the product. Wow. So the ginger ale has a little like Eskimo, stereotypical Eskimo looking kid holding like a ginger ale. Interesting. And that was Canada. And that was the, this was the rival. Of the Canada dry ginger ale.

And that brand became Schweppes. Yeah. It's our version of the Cleveland Indians becoming the guardians. And now we're just Schweppes. I like that we were like in that time, we were like, you can't make a ginger ale from America. Nobody's going to be interested. That's right.

Yeah, it's got to be. Yeah. It's Canadian. It's soft drink and Jemima. I can't even. I don't know what's happening anymore. This is the Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible. Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience.

I don't know what's happening anymore. The Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible. Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience. I don't know what's happening anymore. The Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible. Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience. The Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible. Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience. The Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible. Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience. The Eskimo's theme was carried through whenever possible.

Band members wore Eskimo outfits when performing before a studio audience. And barking dogs were a component of Harry Reeser's opening theme tune, What are you talking about? Klee coat. Dogs? What? Who? Who? Who was in charge? Who was like, you know what we need as an opener? Let's have some dogs going ape

shit. We'll just hold a bunch of meat in a net above them and that'll be the open. I just like, this is the, it's overproduced. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. Was this the inspiration for Baja men? I mean, imagine being, imagine just like, imagine you're not, you're not a YK. Imagine you are just some Inuit dude and you're like, what the fuck is happening right now? Well, we have done, we know you can't count above 20 and that's basically where our research ends. So like most of your music, it'll be played on eight stringed instruments or coconuts and like you love,

we'll have sleigh dogs just bark at the beginning. It ingratiates you to the music, you see, because it's a familiar noise. I'll be honest, we're just trying to move as much ginger ale as possible and your feelings are not. I'll be honest, we're just trying to move as much ginger ale as possible and you're feeling. Yeah, if anybody wants to look it up, it's incredibly offensive and it's the C L I C Q U O T club. And yep, there's a there's a little little the mascot is a young boy.

Young, young Inuit kid. Yep, he's telling us no royalties if he existed at all. Nope, he probably didn't. Yeah, and I can only imagine the pitch room of the name. They were like, does anyone wanna look at actual names? We don't need to do that, I think we're pretty close to, to no, stop.

Hey Ted, I mean, we're all white and I'm offended. So is where do we... what's the line here? Soccer football grows in... Clearly it's popular based on how this guy knows what it's called. Soccer football grows in Philippine popularity. Wow. Growing popularity of soccer football in the Philippines has resulted in the. Nerd. It's like a cop trying to buy like weed at a concert. You guys get any pot grass? You guys get any pot grass?

You guys got any joint bongs? Joint bongs. That's how we knew. We had this guy in our town who's like, you know, the fascist, a little Mussolini board member guy, like screaming at the board and all that kind of school board. And he gave himself away early on because he was on a Zoom call saying, I'm from Glendale, Lacetta and everyone's like no one says that by

the way. He just moved there to try to flip the school district. That's before he moved here and he kept saying Glendale La Crocetta and everyone's like yeah nobody says that so that's not how we talk. That's not a neighborhood. That's just like someone who Googled the area. Yes. Like a zoning map arguing. What should the locals call this place?

I'm from New York City, Manhattan Borough. I'm a local. Growing popularity of soccer football in the Philippines has resulted in the formation of the Philippine Amateur Football League. It will strive for development of the game here and the creation of a team able to compete in the biennial Far Eastern games with China, Japan and neighboring countries. In the past, the Chinese have consistently won these games.

Yep. Yeah. Yep. That's a numbers game. Yeah, totally. Numbers game. But not now. Now China does not.

Japan is the... Japan's awesome. But not now. Now. Now China does not. Japan is the Japan. Yeah, Korea is almost France and basketball, which was the funniest, like Victor Wemba, Nama, seven foot six being guarded by like a five foot six dude. So good. It was crazy. Yeah, just like taking out his legs. No last World Cup, like Japan.

I was like, let's go. Yeah, they're nasty. Yeah, they're good. They're very good soccer team. They are. A motorist should know what the legal speed limit is in the state in which he lives. Okay, what, I mean, it's truly, it's just,

when this is in the paper, you're like, things are dangerous out there. That is a given. Uh-huh. Local laws apply to us. You also know that this isn't even nearly the worst part of this article. That's the whole thing. But now there's another article.

There's an article after it with a headline that says, Sacrificed Children. Oh my God. What? So that's like a teaser. Traffic accidents last year took the lives of 7,000 children in the US. Oh my God. Remember, we did an episode about this. I know, but that number is a shocking number.

7,000. I mean, they're all just kind of loosely sitting in the back, right? Well, it's not only just that, it's also just hitting. So right. So so roads didn't have cars on them. So kids played in the road. Oh, wow. And then cars came along and no one wanted to give way. So cars were just running over children constantly.

And there were no like there were no like rules of the road. You didn't even stop. You didn't have the Wayne's World. Game on. This is pre-game on. Yeah. And you just hear like a little like, eh, and crunch. And you'd be like, let's see. Well, come on, we're going to the theater. That one was just cartilage. So it was early. Don't worry. I believe he was already gone. That was someone else's crush. An editor writes, quote, the heartbreaking, ruthless slaughter of 7,000 is a blood offering to our civilization. Well, that is what's going on there. That guy is just a lyricist.

Just a lyricist. Just just as. Was that on the death of Slim Shady? Because that was beautiful. Just as inoxible and as cruel and to an extent as terrible as the sacrifices of children to pagan gods of old. This guy's angle is super off. He's saying it's bad. I know he's saying it's bad, but he's just like, look,

we used to offer it to Satan, but this is similar. And everyone's like, how about you lobby for yields? The idea of some kid in like buckled shoes lying on the side of the road like another deer is like. Honestly, think that is so true because it's like when you drive, you're like, is anyone going to scoop that deer up? But it's just like, it's like there's books and just like little spectacles. You're like, Jesus Christ, like an eight year old over and over again.

Littered on the road. Just littered everywhere. Boy, this city's got a real stink since cars came around. Hey, how come nobody's picking up the bodies? Anyway, come on, come on, guys. Let's not worry about that. I got to go home and listen to these fake Inuits bang on banjos.

I do love how QAnon was around in the 20s, though. That's cool. Yeah, sure. Offering a blood. Yeah, for sure. Let us hope the conclusion is justified that just as children are no longer sacrificed to gods by any civilized peoples. So the day will come when they will not be sacrificed to the modern automobile several checks for this evil are available first more careful automobile drivers that's what two is. Second, more careful parents who teach children not to run out in the streets.

I mean, both are good, but it's still, the first one seems extremely helpful. Yeah, I like it, you know, you got to just to bring it back to the first story, you got to crack a few eggs. You do. To make it. Absolutely, absolutely. Yep. Third, protected safe places for children who have as fundamental a right to play somewhere

as motors have to drive. Right, so then, so they invented playgrounds. Yeah. That's why they invented playgrounds. They call them parks. And it's a very interesting idea. An area where cars won't take your child from you. At first the road pass right through the swing set.

Higher daddy, higher. After. The honking after. Look out, I'm driving through here. Eight kids are dead. Okay. A fake check signed, you are stuck, was accepted by a Dallas Texas tradesman and found its way through the clearinghouse before it attracted any attention.

I'm fine with this. Yes. I'm fine with this. Yes. Yeah. So I'm sorry. Yeah. Let's catch it. Yeah. A hundred percent.

Yes. Yeah. It's just, yeah, this is being brash. Yeah. Hey, dumb fuck. It looks like you've endorsed this properly. Would that be checking or saving or do you just want, I just take the cash right now.

All right. H E dumb fuck. Here you go. The Big Show. In an Ohio murder trial of no great importance, subpoenas have been issued for 78 witnesses and more are expected to follow. Jesus Christ. Wow. It is the case of a commonplace man who killed his wife in a fit of rage and then confessed to the killing. There is no doubt whatever as to his guilt and little as to his motive. Yet nearly 100 witnesses must be dragged into court. The lawyers must indulge in all the

antics of their legal sport. The court's time must be wasted. Expenses must be pulled upon the taxpayers. The people must have their big show, keeping the town upset for weeks. This guy, the biggest victim in this murder trial is me. The biggest victim in this murder trial is me. Because I have to cover it and we already know how it ends. Good Lord. What is this? The finale of Seinfeld? We know what happened. Holy fuck. You got one more, Dave? Oh, yeah, I mean, grab one.

Get ready, Mike. We're closing. We're closing out a very, very interesting hour of learning. I've learned a lot. I think I'm dumber. I think we're all dumber, for sure. No, I feel bad. Action for damages. In the afternoon session of civil action of Alphonse A. Lord of Ellisworth

versus C.H. Savage and company of Banger was begun. Plaintiff asking damages in the sum of $5,000 for personal injuries sustained in a fall through a trap door at the defendant's store. What? Oh my God. What? Why did they go away? Bring back the trap door.

Yeah. Enough. We're ready. Yes. There better have been some sort of tub of water underneath that, like in the prestige. I doubt it highly. I think the guy was like, oh, oh no, but he was okay. This goddamn thing's so janky.

I killed four people on my trap door and none of them I wanted. Plaintiff testified at some length that he went to the Savage Company store on June 29th. It's gonna be bad, bro. On June 29th, 1925 to purchase some fruit. That's even sadder. Do you have any pineapples? The best is the door owner being like,

yeah, two steps to the left. Yeah, we got pomegranates. Just keep going a little further back. A little more, a little more. He's just about to press the button. If they come in and looking for fruit too exotic, he's like, I'm going to send them to the basement. Do you have apples?

Boy, you people and your crazy asks. Yeah, there's some apples, a little left. Mr. Savage asked him to come to another part of the store to see some bananas. Oh my God. And that while following Mr. Savage, he fell into the cellar through an open trap door, no warning having been given by Mr. Savage, you fell into the cellar through an open trap door, no warning having been given by Mr. Savage. To be fair, if he wanted it to happen, you don't give a heads up. No.

By the way, there's a trap door right here. I'll just buy it. Damn it. His shoulder and neck were injured, so his leg so affected that he had no control over it for a time. What? Oh, I've been playing soccer football. It's, my God, my leg's been doing whatever it wanted

for like two weeks. I can't stop doing the cha-cha. Ever since I fell in that fruit stand's trap door, I keep doing the cha-stand. And what came out of this was the Crip walk. How the twist was invented. Oh, my God. Witnesses said that his eyesight was affected at the time,

and then he had his right eye removed last month. Well, that should be on our list of injuries immediately. That's first. He has a bad neck and shoulder. By the way, we should mention, as we did earlier, he's blind now. Yeah, we took out an eye. He had no depth perception. His ability to see is completely changed.

Your honor, I can't catch a baseball. Trapped. I'm so on board for the trap door coming back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm into that too. He said he was not warned of the danger by the defendant, nor did he inform Mr. Savage that his eyesight was defective. Oh, his eyesight was already bad.

I see. I kind of like the defense of the trap door guy a little bit now. Wow. Your Honor, was I to tell him that I had a trap there and he couldn't see when he came in? He asked for bananas and that's really annoying. He said he was rendered penniless by expenses of the accident and loss of earning power, losing his truck by failure to pay installment due to having no horse to resume business. So he couldn't see well, but he was driving a truck. There's a lot of stuff going on here that I could see how people are confused.

Go ahead, Mike. I just love how consistent the American healthcare system is. Exactly where I was. Right there, the guy has to work, he has no eye. The guy, the guy, and they're just like, sorry, you don't have trap door coverage. He rich a farm. You should have paid $2 more. You followed through the trap door is what we call a pre-existing condition.

So we're sorry. And this is a time when you walked into a fruit store, you had to say, I can't see well. Holy fuck. A boy who drove plaintiff's truck testifying concerning the accident and Dr. Partridge testified concerning injuries. The defense opened late in the afternoon. Walter Teff, civil engineer, testifying concerning measurements made by him at the Savage store. The case will resume in the afternoon, Walter Tep, civil engineer, testifying concerning measurements made by him at the Savage store.

The case will resume in the morning. Wow. Wow. Wow. Well, now everybody knows about the trap door in his store, so he's got to put it in a different spot. Yeah, he just has to put a sign that it's like it has moved. Trap door now moves. Closed for renovations. Closed for renovations.

Well, Mike, what we've learned so much. Yes. That is exciting. So thank you very much for joining us. Thanks so much for having me. This is a blast. So fun. Yes.

Come back, please. And September 15th. Yes. This is a blast. So fun. Yes. Come back please. And September 15th. Yes, sir. You have your new special. 7 PM Eastern. Any day now you'll have a new child and then 7 PM Eastern, Chris D Comedy, your new special drops on YouTube.

And you truly are one of the funniest fucking comedians I have ever seen. So thank you for joining us. And what's your Instagram? Just plug that in. I am Mike Cannon across the board on all social media. fucking comedians and so thank you for joining us and what's your Instagram just plug that I am Mike Cannon across the board on all social media and then you also co-host a podcast yeah it's crazy Chrissy chaos and I got a series called existential dad on on YouTube as well so yeah where I talk about dad theory go here hey I'm sorry you have over promoted.

Just the special. That's all I care about. September 15th, 7 p.m. Eastern on youtube.com slash Christie comedy. You'll miss me honey, some of these days. So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kinda my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases, or suitcase sometimes, if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible.

Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff. And before we got to the gigs, we were like, let's just get an Airbnb. And it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb?

You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.