The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 93 - The Past Times with Sam Sacks

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by Sam Sacks of Means Morning News Redbubble Merch

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. All right, everybody. Welcome to the pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. The brilliant and great Sam Sacks.

Hi Sam, thanks for joining us. Hello, hello. Good to be on. For the second time, it proves the first time wasn't a fluke. No, no. The first time we probably just gushed over you for the whole intro because we are enormous fans of yours.

And by the way, to previous guests, not so much, but you are the host and the writer of Means Morning News, which it truly is just the, I think the, if people ask us on the road all the time what podcast do you listen to yeah it's a short list but when it comes to like getting current events news people should just listen and subscribe to means morning news on YouTube wherever you get your podcast because it is just no joke the fucking best new show.

Yeah. And he covers a lot of murder. He likes to go into cases from the 70s and really dig up. He covers up a lot of murders too. But Sam, it is the best show. I mean- You write really fucking good jokes for topical day of day of stuff like that's what I was just saying. Like there are times where you will be like you will on a news show not only getting like great current events but you do things like this day and working class history. Each Friday you come out or once a week you come out with the dick of the week.

But I mean the jokes that you write in there are just it's so good. We cannot recommend I would say stop listening to this show and just start listening to yours. That is just counterproductive. You guys are making me very uncomfortable. So please stop. But I am thankful to hear it coming from two to podcast kings like yourselves. Good. That's the point. That's the point. There we go. Put it in writing. We've got it. Well, Sam, like I said, I mean, I just I encourage people to listen to Means Morning News, to subscribe to Means TV, all that shit. It is just like the best one. I actually was I don't know if I was talking about last time you were here and you probably have no affiliation with this, but miss me at the documentary series on George W. Bush is one of the greatest things I've ever seen as well. But truly, if you want to have the best current events news show in your podcast feed or on

your YouTube's, go listen and subscribe to Means Morning News. And with that being said, Sam, you're here to be on a much worse show and a less topical show. We're gonna go through a newspaper and I like to guess the year of the newspaper. Now, recently Dave has started to undercut me in a new way with my guessing, which has been very good by giving the guest a hint, which is why now the guest is going first. We are in the middle of some gamesmanship. So if you were to guess what year this paper is from, Sam, what year would you think it is?

Take a stab. You know, I was thinking about this before I came on today because I was hoping to nail it even though it's an impossible question to get right. But I'm going to go with 1953. It's a very sacks guess. 1953. I like it.

I like it a lot. I'm going to go beneath it. Then there's something going on on Dave's face right now where he's experiencing some kind of pleasure from your guests which I don't love so I'm gonna go ahead I'm gonna go over you I'm not gonna price is right you but I'm gonna guess 1971 shut up Sam is much closer, obviously. The date is December 7, 2001. What the fuck? Congratulations, Sam. Way on.

This is by far the most recent paper we've done. You were way, yes, but again, you won because Dave practices democratic policies and has stolen from me the rightful winner when it came to the numbers. We've never done a paper in the 2000s, correct David I don't think we have no Wow Sam. We were all alive. He's probably saving this for one of his favorite guests Try yes. Yeah, barely but yeah, I I read it. I read a lot about the 90s It sounds like a while. I mean last last time I was on we we were talking about some sort of sea monster, sea creature that could only exist in the past time, the wayback times of mythological times. So 2011, we should all be very familiar with what sort of creatures

we might encounter. Well, so we're George W. Bush is the president. Well, wait, what year is it? What year is it? Fresh hot off the presses. Fresh hot. Oh, 2001. I thought you said 2011 initially. Wow, 2001. Okay.

2001. Yeah, we're fresh off 9-11. Sam's favorite president, W is in charge. We're still savoring it. Yeah, this is, yeah, right, we're safe. We're still safe. We're united. Yep.

Unless you're Muslim. Now, of course, December 7th is Pearl Harbor Day. Remembering, comparing our days of disaster. So that's how you- I'm already in absolute hell. That's how you do it, is you compare the, one was an attack on a military outpost in the middle of an ocean. Did I say what paper this is? No.

Whoops. It's the Capitol Times from Madison, Wisconsin. Yeah, hometown paper, kid. Twice. Not damn it. One was an attack on a military outpost in the middle of an ocean. The other was an attack on civilians in the major city of the nation and the nerve center of the military in the nation's capital. Do you guys see how they're different or different? Now maybe they'll say they're the same.

But the raid on Pearl Harbor 60 years ago today and the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon have things in common as well as big differences, especially in the minds of those who remember both. So, for people who remember 9-11. It's all so... It's just so immediately stupid. And it is also so. But I've got memory serves.

I don't FDR didn't know that Pearl Harbor was coming, did he? He might have. Oh, is that I was making a joke. Is that possible? Did he? I think he did. Yeah, he might have. Yeah, there's a little bit of a yeah. OK, but when they told him, did he just sit there and not do anything? Yeah.

The the the going I mean, is it considered it? Is it is it considered a conspiracy theory? I don't know what it is, but the the the theory is, is that he knew and he he wanted them to attack as a way to easily enter World War Two. It's so great how the playbook is so simple. Hmm. I don't know what you're talking about. You're right.

At least this was an actual attack. I also I do. I will say again, like FDR had a better reason to just stay seated and do nothing. Just to put a finer point on a joke that I think didn't work the first time. Among those are Charlie May, who was at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941, and his wife, Frances, who was a high school student. The retired couple, soon to celebrate their 56th wedding anniversary, were at home on the morning of September 11th this year.

Yep, this year. I don't think we need the this year. I absolutely thought of Pearl Harbor right away, Charlie said. It's my impression that this September 11th was a lot more dastardly to us than the attack on Pearl Harbor. That is not to say Pearl Harbor wasn't bad. But this is what happens when you ask an old man to compare Pearl Harbor at 9-11, two months after 9-11.

I like a bug for different reasons. It's just gonna go on like that. I'm not going to continue because it's a really weird angle. These people have no idea what horrors are going to befall the country on 9-11 in the future too. We've got Benghazi still to come in 10 years. We've got Ted Cruz liking porn on Twitter a few years after that. That was an outside job. Yeah, well Benghazi got us. See, I think Benghazi was worth it because we got some movies out of it and songs.

Yeah. They were all, yeah. By the way, by the way, they also have a picture with dates of infamy and then there's the two pictures side by side. It's one showing a boat being blown up on December 7th and then there's the picture of the towers being hit on 9-11. And then there's comparisons of like what happened. And it says what happened on both days.

Who needs the 9-11 refresher? Who planned it? And it says who planned both ones. Time of the attack! Like it's all compared. They have like pictures of Japanese planes that attacked and then, and then there are pictures of the two planes. Boy, we really got so fucked up that I mean that like, it just, it really is so

incredible the way that it's like, it's just, it is, it is incredible what that was used for. Oh my God. And just how well it worked for their fucking plan. It's crazy. Yeah, it really worked really well. Another important question here, which is answered as a headline, but will others remember after they're all gone? Franklin Delano Roosevelt called it a date which will live in infamy, words that resonate even now for those who remember the bombing of Pearl Harbor sixty years ago. But with those ranks rapidly dwindling, and with the grim events of September 11th now seared into the consciousness of a new generation, many survivors of the Japanese attack are

wondering, after they're gone, will December 7th, 1941 also be a date that will live in memory? Oh my God. Sorry, no, it's been replaced by 9-11. We can only remember one. That is... a shocking... I mean, really. So nothing... That is such a shocking article to write. And I mean, the idea that it just is incredible. I'm already I am astounded. Even with the bar being as low as it is, it is astounding that today is like, let's have some war porn. Look, the younger generations just ruin the older massacres and disasters.

They always do. They always have a better one and theirs matters more. Oh, 9-11, you know, it's frustrating. Fucking old guys are like, oh, remember Pearl Harbor? And we're just like, ah, no, shut the fuck up. Shut up, all man. No, I don't. Yeah. And yet so many tragedies currently happening that are have less residents.

It's really almost weird. It's like we just yeah, it's weird. I don't know. Remember, remember 9-11. Don't talk about other stuff. Yeah. Herbert Frank's recall of that sunny day on Oahu is as vivid as if he were a 22 year old aviation machinist. I was very frustrated. I didn't have any guns, said Frank.

Now, 82, the only thing I had in my hand was a breakfast roll, which I threw at the airplane. This is absolutely fucking crazy. Like he could shoot down the Japanese. He's Mark Wahlberg in Pearl Harbor with his breakfast sandwich. I could have shot the planes down if I'd had a gun that day. Breakfast roll. He threw his breakfast roll.

It's so good. You don't. It's so good. That's like when I threw a panini at one of the flights. You don't hear that story in school. They don't teach you that part of Pearl Harbor where the brave seamen were throwing their Taylor Ham rolls at them. I think.

Kamikaze fighters. Wasn't that in the movie? That was in the movie Pearl Harbor, right? Ben Affleck threw a sausage roll at a plant and took it down? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he threw a sausage with muffin. Yeah, that's right. Oh, fuck.

Oh, it's good. I honestly feel like I'm a victim right now. Yeah. I feel like this paper is a bigger tragedy than either of those. Well this is re-traumatizing us. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I'm going through it all again.

UW won't help feds locate students. What? The U.S. Attorney's Office will have to do without the help of the UW-Madison campus police in its effort to interview students for its terrorism investigation. Gosh. I'm still not sure where we are. You don't? I can tell you exactly what this is.

Huh. Go ahead, say it. There's a cell at the University of Wisconsin. Thank you! Okay. Okay. Okay. University of Wisconsin Thank you, okay, okay Okay, fucking bombs in the cheese Yeah, what they want to do is interview every person who's from the Middle East that's what they want to do

Yep, it was a very uniting time for the whites without question. We were all cab drivers who were not white. I remember that in Boston being a little more sensitive. Not a good time to be a Sikh. That wed widely to decline the local US Attorney's request for campus police to help find students for what the government calls voluntary interviews. Oh my god. voluntary interview. Who's volunteering is the question. You pull down one of those little sheets on campus, the little flyers with the little phone number. Looking for a cell? I'd love to be interviewed.

Terrorism lessons. Yeah, I'd really love to volunteer myself to be interviewed to see if I'm part of a cell. Wiley said Thursday that the criteria to- You're talking about Wiley Coyote, right? Yes. Okay. Wiley said Thursday that the criteria to select people for interrogation appear to include people who are not suspected of any crime or

suspicious activity. How did we not go? Like we just, I mean, I was just young going like, well, this is fine. We got to be safe. Got to interview people who've done nothing wrong. Just got to interview people who've done nothing wrong. We would like to interview your boy. How do I put this? It's a certain type of person that is not like us, a bit different and no blondes and what we're looking for is just a very, you know, sort of specific type of...

We're going for the non-whites. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's one way to put it. Yeah. If he's white, he's got to write. If he's not, don't do your thing. Can we give credit to the university here though, who is, which is not cooperating according to the story because nowadays I'd imagine the university would cooperate, no doubt. A hundred percent. How about one example of that happening?

Nope. Modern day universities turning on their students too just because of pressure from publications like that in the government. I can't think of anything like that. Exactly. We've learned a lot. Good point. Fair point.

Fair point. I can't. Yes, I'm just spouting off over here. I apologize to the listeners. Well, I mean, you're the news man. You're the news man. Baseball player gets it right three out of ten there in the Hall of Fame, okay? And how about some feel-good articles like how good George W's pitch was at the baseball game? Okay, well here's George W. Here's a

bush one right here. Oh, it's Laura. Sorry national tree dedicated to victims and GIs Man, it would be great if a little play flew into that tree You forget how dumb of a time this was the dumbest time It's the only way for W to have continued which again, there's some alarm bells going off, is for something so gutting to have happened and really just condensed and simplify our brains to the point where we're just like, we have a special 9-11 treat. And the only guy who has called him out on it since then is Trump for saying you blew it on 9-11 by allowing it to happen. Yes.

Trump was the only guy to do that and that's at the time. For those younger listeners, 9-11 was so bad Rudy Giuliani was a hero. Okay, Laura Bush and two children who lost fathers on September 11th lit the National Christmas tree in a ceremony that was by turns joyous and somber. It's probably somber because they had two kids and lost parents. Yeah. Yeah. President Bush dedicated the tree to those who died in the terror attacks and to gis who have died and the lion now isn't that part of the war on christmas

though this kind of shit is so stupid like like aren't you taking away from christmas aren't you letting like that is a fine line kids whose parents died on 9-11 co-opt Christmas with this? Or did we just not care about the war? Was that the one year that the war on Christmas was not factored in because 9-11 took over? It might have been it. That is, that's a, yeah, I'm not even, even for the shrewdest of political minds, that is a tough one. I don't know. It's it appears we gave the, we gave the war on Christmas a pass because of 9-11.

Someone should look into this deeper. I agree. I completely agree. We need to have an investigation. The Christmas tree lighting was held under extraordinary security. By the way, for these children who have just lost their parents, they are now in DC lighting a tree with the National Guard armed to the fucking teeth yeah they're just like you feeling better he's like it's a lot of

there's a lot of tanks pointing at me Right. Bush remained behind thick protective glass throughout his appearance. This is just... Oh my god! During, during opera star Federica von Stad's rendition of Silent Night, a jet roared overhead from nearby Reagan Airport. Not in Silent Night. There are a lot of issues.

Just for these children. These know why would you do that to the kids? That's nuts. At Bush's behind a shield. The lighting was initially closed to the public as part of a tightened security following the attacks. But security officials relented allowing distribution of some 2700 tickets to the public. Another 2700 were distributed through the Bush administration and Congress. Wow. Wow. Just so, it's just so dumb. It was the dumbest of times.

It really, it really was. It really was. And he, he again, like it, I mean, I was just alluding to Miss Me Yet, which is a documentary on means it. He was the dumbest piece of shit. He remained the dumbest piece of shit. And this was this was the only thing that that gave him any sort of pass. And boy, oh, boy, if you want to trace every fucking problem in our

lives currently back to a modern-day moment and person just fucking go back to this sack of shit yeah I know Sam voted for him though so I'm not trying to I wasn't quite old enough to vote for him the first time actually yes Sam love Sam Sam at the time loved him. I'm not gonna second time I was all about Howard Dean until they Dean screamed him out of the race at which point I think I voted for Nader out of protest because I was like so mad about Howard Dean still. I'll never and they did the Dean's scream was truly, I think when I was starting to go like. Yeah, this doesn't make sense.

What's happening right now? This is a strange reason to not have a man be the president. Every, like Wolf, I just remember Wolf Blitzer being like, it was a really weird scream. Okay. Okay. That's fine. What, I I'm sorry what's going on? It seems like since Howard Dean screamed a lot of people just wouldn't trust him in the Oval Office. What? What? What? Simpler times the establishment could just sink a candidate running on single payer healthcare by just saying he screams weird.

Really 9-Elevened him. So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs we were like let's just get an

Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know it's communal living, it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? You know, just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes. Yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away.

So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Attorney General John Ashcroft said trying just hearing the name John Ashcroft is just what what was this deal with the cat? He was scared of black cats or something. I don't know this at all. I think he was scared of black cats. I know he covered up the lady justice. Yeah,

justice statue because the justice statue I believe is top of sort or I believe top of or has something very nice fitting He had her covered up the statue Sunda wife he was gonna fuck Okay, well while we're here Dave the Attorney General John Ashcroft believes calico cats are a sign of the devil Attorney General John Ashcroft believes Calico cats are a sign of the devil. You can't have a guy from 1600s as your fucking attorney general. No, yes.

Isn't there some about him singing some song about the eagle soaring? Yes, he had he he has this insane. He has a very serious, very serious rendition of a song about an eagle that he's saying as just... Serious. Serious, completely serious. He gets up there, he gets up to octaves that you don't expect from him. Yeah. I mean there is no difference, like these people could be in the 1950s, they could be in the 1900s, these are the same fucking people. They're just well, it's all you you see now the the way that they were able to sort of fester and then you see you just see it all over

today. Like the seeds of that this time are just all over today. Like you just do not get the insanity of today without this time By the way tomorrow a block from me The Moms of Liberty and Jack probis sick is that his name? They are now sponsoring their own versions of Drag queens read to kids and so they're doing their drag queens read to kids.

And so they're doing their right wing reads to kids and doing it at a library a block away from me. So which is more dangerous? I don't know what I'll do there. And I might ask some questions. Go there. Drag. Attorney General John Ashcroft said trying Taliban members in open US court could create Osama TV. Well, thankfully, by the way, that's what I call TikTok. And, but by the way, we really figured out a way to just kind of jump that issue by creating

Quantanamo. Oh, is that the next sentence? Yeah. He defended military tribunals for terrorists and suggested that anyone who criticized them was aiding the enemy. Yeah. Just- Yeah, secret trials. Yeah, secret trials.

Well, it's just like Nuremberg. You remember that? They didn't show any of that because of the fear that it would replicate that time. No, that's exactly right. It was all pay-per-view. That was one of the wilder beliefs at this time was that simply bringing

quote unquote terrorist suspects to the United States, like setting them foot in the United States to face trial or put them in a prison was so incredibly dangerous. Like they were physical manifestations of a bomb themselves that would explode if they were brought into the United States. Yes. Or that there would be like 24 TV series style terrorist raids to break them out of our prisons and hold entire cities on lockdown if we brought them, if they stepped foot on soil. Yeah. Which is such a wild, it's so wild that within that like roughly 20 year swing that Trump

had the Taliban to the White House and that was the same side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we survived it. And, and just 10 years before that they had the Taliban in the White House. Yeah, right. Yes.

Well, yes, yes, yes. Well, we know that time, I think, is not okay. Talas CIA ban. But Democrats said Congress must have a say in creating tribunals to ensure that they're fair. At a Senate hearing Thursday, they gave Ashcroft their own proposal that would guarantee terrorist public trials and American-style innocent until proven guilty rights. They also questioned why Ashcroft would not allow the FBI to search gun records, gun purges records, to find out if those detained since 9-11 had bought weapons recently. This is exactly what I remember at this time, is just nothing made sense.

Well, it's also like to hear the Democrats sort of, you know, do their thing. Be like, but mister, may we try this? It's like you're standing in front of a tank, sir. Just get out of the fucking way or get run over. You've got to do more than that. Where were you on 9-11, Sam? And I ask you this in-11, Sam? And I ask you this in a investigative... I'm a little investigative. Sounds awfully accusatory. Well, yeah. Well, in reality...

That's my question. I mean, to be honest, I was in high school Spanish class and my teacher briefly turned the television on and was like, nah, this is important. We have a test. And turned it off and made us all take a test. And everybody was just like, I think we should important, we have a test. And turned it off. And made us all take a test and everybody was just like, I think we should be watching what's going on. Yeah, it's not a day to have a test. Tell me to turn the tragedies of 9-11 back on on Espanol, San Josex.

Ha ha ha ha ha! That would have been amazing if she turned it on in Spanish. All right. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, fuck. That was amazing if she turned it on in Spanish. Alright. Oh, fuck. Ah, shit. Uh, was DeSalvo really the Boston Strangler? Interesting change-up.

Uh-huh. We switched it. Now they're on to page 8, so they're done with the... Now we're on paper. Okay. For nearly four decades, the families of the women murdered by the Boston Stranger believed they knew the identity of the killer. Albert Del Salvo, a factory worker who confessed to the murders. But new forensic evidence has the family of one of his victims convinced DeSalvo wasn't the infamous Strangler. It was Osama Bin Laden. It's, you know, it's 40 years later, right?

This is the 60s. Sure. A team of forensic scientists that exhumed the body of Mary Sullivan over a year ago revealed that tests on her clothing and remains found of DNA from two individuals other than Sullivan and neither was DeSalvo. That doesn't mean that it could just be other girls in the house. It could be she had she made out with a guy or even had sex with a guy before it. It's a lead.

We have found the evidence and the evidence does not and cannot be associated with Albert de Salvo said James stars, a professor of forensic science and law at George Washington University, who has worked on other high profile forensic cases, including the Lindbergh baby kidnapping, the Lizzie Borden hatchet murders and the Jesse James Please let me die I wish someone had killed me! This is horrible! This is a guy who just goes around stirring up shit about past murders!

Vampire warrior! Jesus Christ was a suicide! Yeah! Holy fuck! God damn! What the fuck? How do they print that with a straight, like, just like that? Del Salvo and O.J. Simpson actually shared the same lawyer in F. Lee Bailey. Is that true?

No. Who also represented Jesse James. Jesus Christ. Wow. Crazy. represented Jesse James. Wow, crazy. And a lot of people don't know this, but DeSalvo was a spokesman for Hertz. So there's a lot of things that. Yeah, Hamas and the naked gun. naked gun. OK, this is like this is I mean, considering the time, this is amazing.

OK, so it's a picture of a little girl. She's sitting on Santa's lap. Santa's smiling at her. She's smiling. Abdul Hakim Shabazz chatting Wednesday with Anna Venturini. Five is the first black Santa Claus to appear at the White Oaks Mall in Springfield. An African American Santa will be back at the mall next week. Oh my god, this is the craziest. We are just... Now is this what sort of sets off the Megyn Kelly, Santa's not black stuff. I don't know. Because that was a whole that was its own. Never forget tragedy.

I mean. WKRP in Cincinnati had an amazing episode where Tim Tim Reed is that the actor, the black guy on WKRP. It was a DJ and he just got hammered and was dressed up as Santa and just kept saying it's going to be a black Christmas. It's been going. They've been having black centers for a while. But I think the thing with this is that the guy's name is Abdul Hakim Chabaz. Like that must make people lose their fucking mind.

I can only imagine. Yeah. How much people are like. I mean, yeah, I'm sure you can imagine. You have like a right wing viral genealogists trying to chase wokeism back to this point right here in 2001. This is when wokeism took over. The woke mind virus first turned up at Lando Lake's mall in Springfield. We pushed it.

God almighty. It is one of the greatest things we do in this country is decide why. Meg and Kelly, without irony, asking how Santa could be black when we all know Santa's white is really we should have just annihilated the country in that moment and just been like we're not worthy of air I think I'm gonna put this in the chat and have can I send you a picture sure here we go okay I'm just gonna have you read this because I think it'd be better coming from you. Me? I won't upload.

Why don't you send me a screenshot and I'll just read it now. Good idea. I'll send you a screenshot. See, Sam, we're pretty good at this too. All right. Go ahead and read that. Okay. Oh my God.

Oh my God. What the fuck? Okay, this is Jesus Christ. It says, our readers sound off and the first name on our readers sound off is Dave Anthony. If this is you, quote, Dave Anthony loves to stir up controversy even when he knows that his statements are incorrect. Dave. Dave. Not only was he wrong last week about his flag statements about Manana Grove, but he also quoted John Matthews as saying that the reason for all the problems at Chavez Elementary was because the school board awarded the bid to a company that uses quote scab labor. I am so close to sure this is you. John Matthews never made nor implied any such thing, and Dave Anthony knows it, end quote.

Wow. What? That could not be more you. There's another one after that. For shame, Dave Anthony, when you make a mistake, at least you have the honesty to admit it. You owe a huge apology to the Monona Grove administrators and teachers along with your listeners whom you misled. Madison doesn't need your brand of shock radio. That's true. Okay, I think we got here's what it is. We do not need you in Madison. Really stirring shit up there Dave. Yeah, as usual. I don't know if you've seen him on Twitter, more of the same.

This is an article by Dave Zwevel and the headline is Anthony's goof, no talk show aberration. So Dave Anthony had a talk show in Madison that was quite controversial. The incident last Friday involving WIBA's afternoon talk show host Dave Anthony and the Monona Grove School District clearly illustrates why I believe that talk radio has corrupted America's political discourse. Yes. It's true. For those who missed the story in the Capital Times, Anthony says he receives an email that claimed the teachers at Monona Grove High School had so vociferously complained about

displaying the American flag in their classrooms that the principal decided to order the flags removed. Wow. That's what you did, asshole. Yeah. Well, I was right, wasn't I? No. Like all too many talk show hosts, Anthony, without a speck of confirmation, went on the air with that news and stirred up the professional flag waivers and self-styled super patriots who listened to his show. They, of course, went on an instant tirade similar to what happened with the Madison

School Board and the Pledge of Allegiance. The people at the high school who ought to be teaching kids were forced to field 50 vitriolic calls within minutes. It's honestly like, well, there's twofold. Part of you is like, boy, it's enviable to live in a time where insane right-wing talk babble was a problem. And the repercussions of that made the news. But then also, we had an opportunity to somehow stomp all this out. It wasn't this time, but like the rush limbaugh of all this just really poisoned so much so fast, so easily. The bar is so low.

Well, we got rid of the, what was the cloud, the fair, what was that media? There was, but there was a thing that was like a Monitor is a law. I believe was like Congressional law, but it basically was like, you know things have to be fair and fairness doctrine That's we got rid of it Clinton got rid of it Sorry, hold on Sam Dave Bill Clinton was a Democrat You probably confused there, Dave. Yeah, Dave, allow me to remind you of some things that have been said about you.

Dave Anthony loves to stir up controversy even when he knows that his statements are incorrect. So... You were run out of Wisconsin, sir. Yeah, you're my opposite. Well maybe Wisconsin just couldn't handle me, right? Because I was a little too hot for that little podunk town. Okay, yeah, you want to keep going? Keep going, asshole.

I'll drive you to your house right now. But like what happens on talk radio all too often, the story was a complete fabrication. The principal had not received any complaints about flags in classrooms. Rather, some teachers who didn't have flags actually asked to be furnished one and the district is expecting an order to come in any day now. Wow. So. He just fucking. But this is exactly what it is today. It's the it never stops. It's just. Oh, yeah make something up and then scream about it. Well, I mean, I don't, okay, writing into your newspaper to complain about what the guy on radio is saying

seems so quaint nowadays, but I do it every day when I log onto Twitter and complain about some idiot Twitch streamer, right? That's what I'm doing the same shit. Yeah. It is true. It's also, it's like, we think it's all, and again, it is like this, the Nightmares Paradox where if you weren't to complain, it would keep them less known. And that them less known. And that is

almost better. But how can you let it stop? Yeah. Like you can't. You have to you have to do it. And at this point, it's just over. So there's really no I have that all the time where I'll be like, it'll be like some dumb asshole saying

something and I'll like put a tweet above it, you know, and then people will be like, hey, man, you do realize you're elevating this person's profile. And you're like, hey man, you do realize that everything's a total shit fuck and nothing else, right? You realize we're all here on the Nazi website just posting, like none of this matters. You realize we're all here on the Nazi website just posting like, none of this matters. You're relaxed. You realize I signed in and so did you.

You understand that, right? Klaus Alaus ate funny but disturbing. Is this a recipe? This is by Deborahbra Nathan's. I'm starting to notice a common theme among Stage Q's productions. And it's not gay themes. Although... Wow.

Whoa! And we're off. Aki-doki! Achi-machi! And away we go. Although the productions have gay characters, it is that all three of their productions have been disturbing. Oh, here we go.

It's not that it's gay, it's that it's disturbing. Because it's gay. I thought the eight reindeer monologues would be cute and funny. Christmas stories told from the point of view of the reindeer. What is about to happen? I mean, I don't know. It's going to be amazing. Whatever it is, it's going to be amazing.

Coming off the flag thing. I can only imagine that this head donners sucking and fucking glitzin! The monologues are conceptually funny and cleverly done but with a definite kick of emotional reality. The eight are Santa's elite troupe of flying reindeer. This is the craziest article in the paper and it started with a 9-11 Pearl Harbor article. A sort of dysfunctional reindeer special forces. Oh my god. The monologues weaved together to tell a funny but ultimately disturbing story of a sex crime perpetrated by

Santa Claus against Vixen, one of the reindeer. Oh my god. What the **** I've never wanted to see a production of something more. Santa Claus, according to play, is a bestial rapist. Oh, my fucking God. What in the name of everything that is holy? What are you talking about? There I mean, I could not. I honestly think that this Santa should be in Guantanamo.

There's a splay of Santa raping Vixen? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Oh God. You like these fucking reindeer games you little bitch? You like these reindeer games? Dasher as the place first monologue, playing an alcoholic with ego. This is awesome.

This is so awesome. I tell you what, when Rudolph first came in, I didn't think much of it till I realized we'd all be in his shadow because of that goddamn red nose. John Kremt does a good job of setting the irreverent tone of the play. Jeffrey Bunbauer is next as Cupid, the only openly gay reindeer. Amazing stuff is happening.

He elaborates on Santa's holly jolly sex crimes, complete with a description of his jolly old elf, which he says is tattooed in red and white. Oh my god. Santa's dick is tattooed red and white. I can't even explain to you, I know we live in a country full of insanity, but I will say the fact that this happened in Wisconsin I can only tell you some people like oh well that doesn't look too bad should we go to

the playhouse tonight and watch this nice little it looks like the reindeer are doing certain sort of monologues or something like that should we go head down well that would be nice because it is the holiday season it It could be a nice festive night. Jesus Christ, what the actual fuck is going on right now? What are they doing to Vixen there? Hey, put Vixen down. What are the other Reindeer's backstories here? Do all the Reindeer's have backstories that have led them to their current situation?

I think all the Reindeer's do a monologue, so. What is the name of this production Dave? It is called the eight reindeer monologues Wow Donner lost his life savings betting the over on the bills and now Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Cuba mafia cyborgs. Hollywood's monologue does little to forward the disturbing plot, but it is clever and enjoyable. Wow, that one felt, that's a little inside baseball, to be honest with you. That one, they, that one, it's like, they tried to, it's a palette cleanser monologue

for the other stuff, right? Sure. So Shawna Hill plays Blitzen, a feminist reindeer, who is all about educating the audience to the reality of that quote, a jolly fat pervert is coming to town. Man, the absolute. That's just, I love that it's just going to ruin Santa. I want, I want them to do this at like an elementary school. I want them to do this at an elementary school. Put it on for us. Without question.

Once again, as we've established, this was the only year where you could wage absolute war on Christmas here. That's right. This was the last time. Okay, so just to give you, I found a breakdown of the roles. Dasher, first reindeer and leader of the pack, each Christmas run, he refuses to speak on the scandal, alpha male bro type Cupid The only open the gay reindeer and extremely proud of it

He's practically a caricature, but he knows it and has seen some shit Hollywood also known as Prancer Wow His personality has changed some since the release of his movie in the launch of his acting career He wonders how Vixen's accusation will affect his notoriety Blitzen Vixen's chief supporter during the scandal and leader of the walkout against Santa, strong female protagonist. Comet, this role's already been cast,

a reformed convict saved from a life of drugs and crime by the Claus family. He's Santa's biggest advocate. Dancer, former ballet professional who joined the Eight. Not long after his studio was burned down in protest of the Dancer, she really needs this job. Donner, Rudolph's father and unemployed herd deer. He was placed on the 8 by Santa to help him quiet after the infamous quote foggy Christmas incident. Wracked with guilt and doesn't expect anyone

to understand why. Vixen, attempting to press charges against Santa for sexual assault. Persorted past does not lend credibility to her accusations, but just because she posed for a playboy and has a healthy sex life doesn't mean she quote deserved it. She has a blood characterization of how many victims are treated by the justice system and media she doesn't want this attention. Wow. Wow. Oh God, what's happening in Wisconsin?

I don't know. I wish it was still going on. Is there like a recording of this? Can we watch this somehow? Oh, I think you can. That'd be amazing. That'd be amazing. I think you can on YouTube, I think.

Because there are a lot of themes that were pressuring at the time. I mean, this is like, this is me to Santa Claus. Oh yeah, I found a link to it right here. So you can watch the eight reindeer monologues by Jeff Good. You can watch 11 minutes of highlights if you choose to as well. Holy shit.

I'll probably be watching that later. Yeah. Let Moe's explain self. University of Wisconsin, Regent Fred Moe's has come under fire for comments he recently made regarding affirmative action. Wow. And appropriately so. In a recent Wisconsin state journal column, Moe's suggested that African American students

are, quote, culturally disinclined to dedicate themselves to school. Jesus Christ. This was 2001. Right? Shocking. Even with 9-11 cooking, this is a shocking... Just... Shocking.

Incredible. Fucking... it's still going on. It never... they just never stop. No. If students come away believing Moses truly racially insensitive and ignorant, they have every right to go ahead with a campaign for the regents removal. Well, if affirmative action, let me, you know what affirmative action is, it got us a black Santa.

Thank you. So, you know what I'm saying? By the way, the only time the right was can maybe like open to a black Santa is to play the lead in the eight reindeer monologues. Okay, this is the most Wisconsin thing I've ever seen. Oh boy. Pizza Hut's buffet satisfies. All you can eat for $4.99 ends with dessert pizza.

I figure I don't eat enough cheese. Then the terrorists- What? Dave, hold on. Stop. I figure if I don't eat enough cheese. Sorry. This is...

When you say something to the most Wisconsin, I didn't think it was possible for you to hit the nail on the head more than this this is this is in the paper where we're talking about sleeper cells at Madison University the uh Black Santa and Pearl Harbor 911 and now we're about to have a review of a pizza at buffet let me tell you if you want to get satisfied and never forget economy, they got pizza. They even got the pizza for after you eat the pizza. Does this guy say he doesn't think he eats enough cheese? No, no, I misspoke.

I figure if I don't eat enough cheese, then the terrorists win. Shut your fucking mouth now. No, that's the right mentality in Wisconsin. You have to have this victim mentality that if you're not eating enough cheese. Someone somewhere thought this. Tell you what, we all got a part which is why I'm at the open hand pantry buying as many cheddar sticks as humanly possible And the farmers and cardiologists lose what a grand homeland this is where on earth earth could one

homeland this is. Where on earth could one both hunger and pride in nationhood in one fell swoop at a lunch buffet. I choose the $4.99 all you can eat at the Easttown Springs Pizza Hut, 469 East Springs Drive, one of more than 12,000 restaurants the company has from Antioch to Abu Dhabi. Dooby Dabby? Abu Dhabi? Abu Dhabi. I don't go to the one in Abu Dhabi at all. That one's too far. Which country is Abu Dhabi in? That's the same question more

than a Gareth question. Is it Qatar? Is it cutter? Is it cutter? Yeah, probably. I'll tell you what, I'll cut it at pizza in half and have as much goddamn cheese as I like. Commander, the terrorists will get you. Or do you buy it? From ages, for ages six to 10, it's $2.99 and for ages three to five, just 99 cents. By the way, not to not to take this article and if we're calling I'm air quoting article too seriously But those pizza had all you can eat prices in this day and age are no fucking joke. I mean that is not real That's amazing. That is an amazing deal. Yeah. Yeah, that's what Obama took from us

Yeah, I couldn't yeah, I did couldn't agree. It was it was a different time because the minimum wage was only $7.35 back then. Yeah, that's true. Then we upped it to $7.35. My early arrival put me first in line. Hilarious. For the salad bar. Hilarious. A good graze it was with a huge mound of iceberg lettuce, grated carrot, and purple cabbage

surrounded by more toppings than you could shake a breadstick at. Black olives, mushroom, hard-boiled egg, sunflower nuts, bacon, bits, tomatoes, peas, carrots, more carrots, cucumbers, pepperoni, cantaloupe, and seven salad dressings. There's also a potato salad.

Tasty, but mushy. It's the dumbest part of this paper. And that's the most Wisconsin part of the point. Winter pizza hot was disappointed by their potato salad. Yeah. I, it is actually amazing. Cause it is almost like pizza propaganda, but then he really doesn't pull punches on the potato salad being kind of a letdown But also explaining what a salad buffet salad look it's like yeah, we know that we know what it is I know what it is. Yeah, it's iceberg. It's the little red cabbage. It's the shaved carrots. Yep. Got it

You're not gonna believe it. This isn't just lettuce. No, no, no. This is a melting pot of different pieces. Two different kinds of carrots. Oh my. Pasta is hard to produce for a mass audience and that was the case here with two rotini dishes. The red sauce was better than the creamy cheesy one, but the corkscrews were cooked too long.

Well, it's not an ad. Pizza Hut says it. Which is, it honestly would probably go down easier for me if this didn't have dissension because I would rather it be an ad, but it is genuinely a man reviewing Pizza Hut like it just came out. Pizza Hut says all the che cheese it uses, mostly mozzarella, requires a herd of a quarter million dairy cows producing at full capacity 365 days a year.

After salad casserole, the restaurant's namesake is almost an afterthought, but I sampled a couple of slices, a thin crust top with sausage, black olive, green pepper, red onion, tomato, and mushroom was the best. Dessert pizza? Question mark? Of course.

I skipped the cherry, but tried the apple with nuts and icing. It was a little too chewy, but a nice end to the blend of the meals, healthful and not so wholesome aspects. Like the pizza itself is an afterthought in the review. It's mostly about the salad bar. He's like, oh, I almost filled myself up, but I guess I saved enough room for one slice of pizza. I filled up on all the, did I mention seven salad dressings?

Like that is the minimum amount at a salad bar. And he's like, oh my God. Oh wow. Cramped as much iceberg lettuce. out at a salad bar. And he's like, Oh my God. Oh, wow. And then he builds up a shitty pasta. He went to pizza. He's the only guy who got ripped off by this deal. Because all he ate was carrots. Of course, I thought about the latter while listening to Let's Twist Again by Chubby Checker. This man can't. this isn't real.

Thought, but not worried because then the terrorists will have won. I can't, I can't. I was waiting for a 9-11 reference. I can't handle it. This is just, it's uh. I have to think there's some places where people are trying to take away freedoms to eat like this. I have to think there's some places where people are trying to take away freedoms to eat like this. Okay, there's, we don't have really any time left. We'll do one more story, but there's such a choice here to make.

What do you, would you want to throw out options? Well there's, there's one about students having a trucker pen pal. There's a, a Wiccan prison chaplain, so people are upset about it. There is the jobless rate. The jobless rate leaps during deer hunting season. Oh, my Lord. And radiation treatment sets mail on fire. Go ahead, pick one.

Sam, you got to pick. It's unreal. I'll eliminate one. I'll eliminate the deer hunting season thing because. Okay. Okay. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll nix the radiation. Okay. Of those, I think I'm going to do the Wiccan cha- oh, the Wiccan. Can't be bad. Wiccan prison chaplain says she respects all faiths.

Faiths. Faiths, okay. Not faces, faces. Sure. Faiths. The first Wiccan minister to serve as a prison chaplain in Wisconsin says her job is to work with prisoners and volunteer pastors of all faiths, not to try to convert people to her faith.

The minute I walk through these walls, I'm an interfaith minister. She's walking through walls. She's a witch. Not a Wiccan said the Reverend Jamie. Her name is spelled J. A. M. Y. I. That is fucking bullshit. Jamie Jamie, which? Wait, her last name is which the Reverend Jami, which what's

happening? And that's not the way I was born in Louisiana. That's that's the way she's the wicked. Okay, she is the way she her last name is Richard. She was born in Louisiana as Jimmy Welsh, but changed her name years ago to which OK. So she chose everyone. She's all in. Yeah. Yeah, she does.

She wants. Yeah, she this is what she wants. This whole controversy. Yes. I minister to everyone's needs. I have no interest in converting anyone. That would be wrong. Can you imagine trying to convert someone to being a Wiccan? Oh, in a prison?

Yeah, it'd be amazing. In jail? Yeah. Just be like, listen, you're gonna have to pick your side when you come into a place like this. We got the Latin Kings, we got the white supremacists. Be careful who you pick. Might I recommend joining up with the Wiccans?

Also a group to not be messed with. The news that she started work this week at the Mexican Security Wapen Correctional Institute caused, Wapenom, it just says Wapin Correctional Institute caused some legislators to question her hiring and also brought a flurry of telephone calls to the prison and the State Department of Corrections. Both pro and con. Mike Hobbitch, a Republican from West Sure said he would introduce a bill to eliminate funding for the position held by which even though he has Called her which yeah, you know he has pushed in the past for increasing the number of prison chaplains

I I've received letters from people who turn their life around with the help and guidance of prison chaplains from recognized and accepted religions," Hobbitch said in a statement. There isn't one study that I'm aware of that shows witches have reformed any prisoners. This is just, this is beautiful. It's beautiful. It's quite a beautiful. It's beautiful. It's quite a run. It's quite a... It's really... I'm genuinely impressed with Madison.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm actually impressed that they put on that play. The play, the Pizza Hut, it's like, man, you got a fucking... Who knew? The Wiccan indoctrination program in prison. Yeah. The Wiccan indoctrination program in prison. Fuck me. You know what they say in prison. Your leisure time, you're just out there like bundling sticks and stuff.

Little bindles. Just making shivs out of wands. Oh, fuck. What a time. What a time. Well, I have to say, if there is an argument for more recent papers, this is it. Because that is absolutely fucking crazy. Yeah, it's really crazy. Sam, thank you so much for joining us. We know you're a busy man because again, you are not only the host of

the greatest news show going today means morning news, but you are also the writer and Like I said to you at the beginning and like I said to you last time Probably the only complaint is that it's not long enough that show starts and then you're like god damn it it's over. It's over pretty quick. But it is the fucking best. So we encourage people to go subscribe to YouTube, just subscribe to the podcast and yeah we would love to have you back anytime because you are a hero. Well thank you very much fellas. Thanks for having me on.

This is by far the most fun podcast I go on, so happy to come on anytime. Well, listen. You remind me of Santa Claus. Yeah, you're very much... Yeah, how do you feel about that? Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second here.

That's a heavy hat. Wait a second here. All right, we got to go, Sam. I know... Sorry, Sam, we don't have time for any protest here. Otherwise, the terrorists win. Wait a second here. All right, we got to go Sam. I know. Sorry Sam, we don't have time for any protest here. Otherwise the terrorists win. So I travel a lot.

I mean a lot. Perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm a lot. I mean, a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig. Right. So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes. If I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently, I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff.

And before we got to the gigs, we were like, well, let's just get an Airbnb. And it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes. Yes, it can be an Airbnb.

It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host.