The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 969 - Bo Gritz Part One
Episode Date: August 12, 2025Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine military guy Bo Grtiz. Part One of Three. SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH Rocketmoney Hydrow - Code: Dollop Chewy ...
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I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago, and he was like,
oh, yeah, just come over, stay at my place.
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I believe, canal.
and yeah, it was awesome.
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There were big windows.
The whole nature meets city vibe.
It was perfect.
By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here?
And I was like, no, you have a home.
But he did.
And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there,
but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese.
having a good laugh with each other.
So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards
whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your life.
It's flexible.
It's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle.
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So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign.
Your home might be worth more than you think.
find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca slash host.
The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace.
Oh, Dave.
Our friends forever.
We've been using Squarespace forever.
We love their websites.
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a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this.
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You're listening to the Dalop on the All Things Comedy Network.
This is an American History podcast for each week I,
Dan Anthony, read a story from American history to my worker.
Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Uh, and how do you feel today working, uh, for the dollop?
Uh, I have, uh, I'm furious at Luke and have a new respect for him.
There's a lot of wires.
A lot of wires.
There's software happening.
There's cameras.
There's a lot going on.
There's a freaking, smiley face balloon for cry Pete.
You brought that in.
No, this is just, where do we walk in right through the door with it?
And I said, why are you doing that?
That doesn't sound like me.
Where did you get the smiley face balloon?
I don't want to tell you.
Well, we're just going to see her quietly then.
I will do a balloon off.
Me day of the week, my friend.
Well, welcome to the doll.
Well, let's say this is someone's first episode.
And the intro is pretty clear.
But I know nothing.
You're going to walk me through it.
We've been doing this for almost 11 years, 11 years, over in 11 years?
17, yeah.
So we've been doing this over, huh?
We've been doing this for 11 years.
You know, and it's just, it's fun.
We're going to have fun with it.
I think you're going to like it.
And if you don't like it, all right, you know, that's fine.
It's not a big deal.
But I think if you hang in there, I understand.
I think if you hang in there, I think you'll learn to like it.
And give it a minute.
Do you consider this to be a sales pitch?
Well, you know, I started thinking that.
I'm telling the new listener, hey, welcome here.
You're making the podcast sell by Brocolini.
Bracolini is delicious.
Brussels sprouts.
Brussels sprouts is delicious.
No, people do not start out.
Most people are like, all right.
That's a great appetizer.
Spargas, also an acquired thing.
Dave, please, right now, new listener is not a food show.
So you're probably a little thrown and you're going, hey, I thought they said there
is some history in here.
There is.
Dave just took it to a Brussels sprout level, ignoring the fact that Brussels sprouts are
often a fantastic app at any good restaurant that many people get.
That's not what I said. I said that it's an acquired taste. It's not an acquired taste.
You can go there and have it for the first time because they put so much stuff on it.
It's delicious. So, but that's not what it is. You tell me, I'm blowing the sales pitch.
You're blowing the sales pitch. You're adding sauces. I'm at eight. So think of this show like
Brussels sprouts and I'm the sauce. Boom. Go, go, go. All right.
we're going to be on tour
oh my god
more stuff
we're going to be on tour
yeah we're going on tour man
so go to doll podcast
dot com slash tour
and there will our tour dates
we're going through the Midwest
Midwest
Indianapolis Chicago places like that
But let's just take a minute to say
to Milwaukee
this is your last chance
There's a balloon string hanging off
This is it for you Milwaukee
It's really bad
Okay, you better show up to Turner Hall.
Yeah, Milwaukee.
Because you're, you're embarrassing.
I'm from there.
Yeah.
Where is this treatment of, come on.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You, I've been to, I'm from, you're not saturated with entertainment to the point where you're just going like, nah.
Go to Turner Hall.
My God.
I don't know if that's a sales pitch.
I know.
I'm blowing it.
I just, it's all things bad.
Do you think that was better with the balloon?
Yeah.
You can't really control a balloon.
A balloon control.
On the contrary, hot air, controlled.
Go ahead.
January 18th, 1939, year of our lord, J-Town.
James Bogreitz was born in Enid, Oklahoma.
James Bogrides?
James Boog-Rite.
Bow-Rite.
At five, Boe's dad disappeared,
flying a mission in World War
2 becoming missing
in action or as it's known
M-I-A.
Mission in action.
His mom
wasn't around much as she
worked full-time as a wartime
ferry pilot.
Go ahead.
We're taking questions.
What is it?
In World War II
there are fairies.
and they needed people to pilot them.
Gigabelle, move.
That's correct.
Okay.
So he's mostly raised by his grandparents.
Okay.
All he wanted to talk about as a kid was the military and his dad.
He was obsessed.
Okay.
Grandma read him stories of fictional war heroes,
and Bo would like to say he was going to be a real-life war hero like his dad.
Okay.
So Grandma said him on a nightlife.
make-believe missions with the
ghost of his dead father.
Well, there we go.
So, there
it is. I was letting you cook for a minute.
And there we are.
So, yeah, go ahead.
So, well, ghost dad
and regular boy off on war missions.
That's right. Yes.
1910, roughly.
Yeah, nighttime,
ghost.
Ghost dad. War missions.
So that's not going to fuck up a kid at all.
That's going to...
I, uh, no, I think, you know, that's one of those things where it's like, in the moment,
you're like, yeah, that's, he's happy.
He's happy.
But long term, maybe just talk to him a little bit.
As an adult, he's going to be weird.
Dad, what do you think?
I can't right now.
My dad and I have to go around the neighborhood to make sure there's no enemies.
Dad, we got a trench over there.
He's like 35.
So she, she encouraged a boat to recreate his dad, dead dad's flights with his father's spirit.
beside him in an imaginary cockpit.
It's like there's a thread there that I understand.
But again, when you see it once,
you'd be like, this is horrible.
This is a terrible thing to do to a child.
What do you think, Dad?
Here we go.
Dad, here we go.
Okay.
All right.
On another mission, a boy, it is Dad.
Yeah, buddy.
So listen.
Oh, look at this scum.
More air scum, Dad.
Yeah, we've talked about this before, but I would not.
Anything I should put on?
son i wouldn't bring a child with me on a couple of these
look dad i don't want to be rude to you but right now we're on a mission it's not time for stuff
like that might never be time for stuff like that uh boo huh i'm a ghost yeah dad focus what's with
you today well i'm a ghost oh boy so i'm gonna oh dad they got us on the wing what should we
do i'm thinking water landing i don't know oh dad here we go is any of this real like
What is real?
Oh, no.
There's so much water coming in.
I would like to...
Here, Dad, get out of the glass with me.
Whatever spiritual...
Yeah.
I'm in, trapping here.
The further we swim in to the ocean,
the further away we get from our actual feelings.
And I...
Down here, there's not feelings.
I have come to the conclusion...
Down here, there's not feelings.
That the reason...
Down here, there's not feelings.
As a ghost, I am still bound to this hell earth
is because you won't let me go.
Dad and a boy.
Boy and a dead.
fly in the plane that he once had boy in that dad fly in the plane oh dad looks like he's going and
I hate the song but long term I'll be fine you're not going to be fine this will turn out and I'll
shine oh yeah boy and ghost dad yeah I wish I could take the plate down again we should drown
grandma. Jesus Christ. Yeah, don't you think? No. She's coming up with a lot of stupid ideas,
late. Well, okay. You and I can figure it out. No. Can you cook? I don't think I can lift things up.
Teach me how to shave. Other, so other than like the ghost dad's stuff, he had a pretty normal
childhood. Okay. But then he starts to act out as a teen. Okay. So he did pranks. He built hot rods and he'd
speed around town, stole motorcycles, blew up the school auditorium with fireworks, just things
that kid, hijinks, that kids get into.
One's bigger.
Like, stuff like that.
One's bigger.
Yeah, but you were a rascal.
I'll be honest, I love fireworks.
How old were you when you blew up the school auditorium?
I should put it in my house, burned down once, but it wasn't me, but everyone in my school
thought it was me.
Of course they did.
Yeah, but they love fireworks.
Yeah.
Well, so in 1953, he was 14 years old and he was expelled from school.
Okay.
So he's got no father to discipline him.
Yeah, they kick me out.
Yeah, that's true.
But Ghost Dad doesn't discipline.
He goes along with you.
Exactly.
That's why I love you, Ghost Dad.
So Bo had to sort of discipline himself, and he picked, he decided to go to military school.
Oh, boy.
He's like, that's what I need.
discipline maybe his dad's future what worked in what way well in his senior year he was offered a spot
at a west point academy god damn i'll tell you what we keep going to that west point well comes up a lot
and seems to be a bit of a bit problematic a fucking weirdos go through west point seems like it's not
great yeah as he uh uh as he was considering it going to west point he saw
A green beret poster on campus, right?
So a poster for the green brays.
And he asked his recruiter.
He goes, what do those guys do?
And the recruiter said, quote,
they go out into the woods, live off bark and lizards,
snoop around, blow up bridges, and garret people.
And Bo could not sign up fast enough.
No, Garrett.
Gareth.
No, it's not you.
It's the action of garreting.
Garething.
Bo enlisted in 1957
enrolled in Officer Candidate School
Because this guy sounds like officer
For the Green Berets
Yes, well boy
By 1963 he was a captain
Just in time for the Vietnam War
So he's good
Whatever he's doing, he's good at him
Yeah, no, he's good
Quote, I used to test my people
Once they said they wanted to volunteer for my unit
I would sit across the table
Take a hand grenade
place it on the table and say
pull the pin and let it go
I think you're allowed to do that
I knew I had taken the blasting cap
off the grenade
but they didn't know it
and when you're on special operations
they cannot let common sense
ruled their judgment
they have to believe in me
I mean
I don't know man
I feel like a lot of it is common sense
too you got to like
you know there's got to be
and by the way
I would definitely be like
he's full of it
I'll do it
yeah I think most people would think
well he's not gonna blow us both
yeah right
if you were like leaving there
you'd mouth to the other guys
like
they probably everybody
probably everybody knew going in
yeah
like yeah
he does this stupid grenade thing
but I need you to
oh you pulled that pretty quick huh
yeah I don't care
I trust you
I think out there
I've really got to listen
to what you think
that's right
so
So, Bowden command many U.S. soldiers. Instead, he was given a detachment mostly of Cambodian mercenaries.
That's cool. That's a sign of your normal.
I'm feeling that. Well, I think in retrospect, we've been quite good to Cambodia.
Thank you.
So.
If there's one country, America has been good to it, it's Cambodia.
Yeah. No, I believe Anthony Bourdain's quote is, if you want to hate America, go to Cambodia.
Yeah.
Indeed. In 1966, a U-2 spy plane crashed in Cambodia, and its black box full of secret codes could fall into the hands of the USSR.
Real easy, too.
Which is our enemy.
Yeah.
Yeah. Who's on your shirt?
That's Carl Marx.
Well, what's your deal?
What's the shirt say?
Told you so.
Yeah.
President Johnson
wanted the black box back
so he called in special forces
and that means Bo Grites
When I was growing up I always thought his name was
Bo Gritz. I've never heard of him
You've never heard of Bo Grit. No.
Or Bo Grites.
No.
Bo said he led his team behind enemy lines
to the crash but the box
was gone.
Cambodians.
Cambodians.
it didn't take him long to find sandal tracks leading to an enemy camp.
Whereas we call them just Cambodians.
Yep.
But yeah, a Cambodian village.
An area of Cambodian people living their lives.
The feeling this isn't going to go great.
Well, he led a raid on the camp, successfully recovered the black box.
Okay.
Now, other Green Berets who were on that mission said that his version,
is absolute bullshit.
They said the black box
was just at the crash site
and they got it without firing a shot.
Or they had to attack
an enemy camp.
He said that they went in there
just attacking and that's how he found it.
So he went on a Rambo mission
to find the black box.
He followed the sandal tracks.
Now, can I...
You've seen...
You've seen video of a jungle.
You've seen...
Sure. Vietnam War movies.
How do you think following...
following sandal tracks goes in the jungle.
Well, I think
you're probably looking, you're looking
for some
depressed leaves,
some areas of
you know, I think you could,
I could probably figure it out and probably
follow it, but it's not the easiest.
And here's why, Dave.
It's quite, quite
leafy and foresty.
And the ground is, and moist.
Moist.
And, and, and, and,
It's probably not that easy.
And even if you can follow it for a minute,
it's probably difficult to keep going.
Yeah.
But interesting.
Yeah.
So there, that's what happened.
Bo on some fellow soldiers,
quote,
there are soldiers like myself
who are not staff pukes.
We didn't come up the rank
slow stroking the generals.
Instead, we came up in the fox.
Is that a hand job?
Yeah.
Wow.
Instead, we came up in the foxholes
and the field.
we will not sell our time, our talent, our resources to anyone regardless,
but we'll give them if the cause is right.
Who jacked off a general?
I do it.
I got.
These generals have an insatiable hunger for hand jobs.
Can I be a colonel?
Can I be a colonel?
Drop and give me it.
Oh.
Yeah.
General Westmoreland wrote of the raid in his memoir
and portrayed Bo as a hero.
Okay.
Even though it's clearly not real.
I'm open.
Francis Ford Coppola wanted to use a picture of Bo
and his mercenaries for Apocalypse Now.
Bowes rose up to Lieutenant Colonel in Vietnam.
Time magazine said he became, quote,
the most decorated soldier in American history
with over 60 medals, including the
Distinguished Flying Cross, two Purple Hearts,
two Legion of Merits, three silver stars, four bronze stars, and 26 air medals.
I mean, that's crazy.
That's a lot.
You're happy now, Daddy?
You could probably sell that for a lot.
Two Purple Hearts?
Yeah, well, yeah, but I think you get those pretty...
I don't think you do.
I think you'd get them pretty easy.
If you're not the right people.
I've got a bunch of them.
I think if people like you, you get those easier.
Yeah, yeah.
I got a bunch of purple hearts.
You want one?
No problem.
That's not how you get them.
Yeah.
Yeah, you do.
You can steal a Purple Heart, and then you are officially injured in Vietnam.
People don't know that.
Were you alive for Vietnam?
No.
That crazy?
But a Freedom of Information Act request later seemed to show that Bo basically gave himself many of the medals.
Oh.
Sometimes awarding himself twice for the same thing.
Oh, my God.
People who just aren't checking paperwork.
How was he able to do that?
He's just...
Do it.
Send in paperwork once.
Send in metal.
Send it paperwork again.
Change some of the details.
Get it again.
Jesus, guys.
This guy needs a lot of purple hearts.
Imagine what is uniform.
Oh, that whole thing is like growing up Cub Scouts.
After the war, he had a crisis of conscious, and he said he had killed 400 men.
Jesus Christ.
And he was trying to grapple with it, but couldn't.
Can you imagine killing 400 people?
Yes.
Okay.
I have a list.
But, I mean, you've never killed.
Well.
Okay.
No, I have not killed a human being.
Yeah.
I accidentally killed the possum ones.
Ah.
That's sad.
Ugh.
Quote, I went to the top of a mountain in Mexico.
I had one bullet in my nine millimeter.
I come to...
Shot one Mexican.
Dirty, dirty Mexican I saw from the bluff and I shot him.
I had come to some sort of realization.
Had all of the loss of life that I had precipitated in Vietnam, was it excusable?
No.
Luckily, Bo came to a conclusion, quote, searching back if you take life and do it in the course of duty,
that kind of wrongful death is excusable.
How can you possibly?
I did soul searching is what I did.
How can, but imagine if, I mean, look.
What I realized was, if you're wearing a uniform and you cut off someone's head,
be it a soldier or a child, you're doing it for your country, and therefore, it is what is officially
termed, okay, dokey.
What you don't understand, God, was I was told to.
Oh, my mistake.
Well, go on.
I'm in here.
But I really think, like, I mean, there are so many soldiers who have come back from, you know,
fucking whatever word are like, what the fuck?
What did I do?
I mean, and you have, I mean, how are you, you got to, like, find a way to be like,
all right, I'm just, I mean, they told me to.
They told them to.
They lied to him.
Yeah, and but although he's not lied to.
No, he's the lie.
A lot of them are lied to, and they have to do stuff that's absolutely horrendous.
Yeah, and then you have to, like, come back and actually, like, you know, figure that out,
which is impossible.
And then you become a cop.
Yeah.
And then, oh.
Bo started doing a karate.
And that is when he met a beautiful woman.
He gave him something like four black belts.
Beautiful woman.
Okay.
They were married that year.
Okay.
She's 16.
20 years younger.
She's 16?
20 years younger.
16?
Fertile Gareth.
16?
She's 16.
She is just out of childhood.
You know, the whole...
How long until Trump just lowers the fuck age?
I don't think they call it the fuck age.
well soon enough it's called the fuck age
we'll call it the fuck yeah that's how we might get around everything so yeah he really
might bo was transferred to special forces a commander of south america where he served
until 1977 okay uh now if you have heard the doll before you'll remember some very bad
shit was going on in south america at that time may i say very very bad shit
concentration
camp shit
by us.
Okay, all right.
So,
amazed and frustrated,
he watched
the U.S. Shield
ruthless
Panamanian dictator
Manuel Noriega.
Have I done it all up on
Noriega?
I don't think so, no.
He had a major role
in a joint operation
by the CIA
and the Mossade
to create the cocaine boom
in the U.S.,
which led to millions of dollars
going to buy
weapons for anti-socialist contras in Central and South America.
It really is, like, shocking to me, once again, the length of time we've just been doing
the exact same shit and being lied to about a...
I mean, Mossad and CIA are Pip and Jordan.
Yeah.
I mean, just one's always like, I'll cook.
Yeah.
From Panama, Bo learned, quote, 10% of required CIA covert funds come from Congress.
appropriation, the other 90% is made up from extra legal means.
Extra legal means?
Right.
So if you really look into the CIA, you'll see that they do get a lot of money from
the government, but they make a lot of money on their own.
Is that right?
Yeah.
How are they making that money?
Well, right here, it's drugs.
Hello, CIA.
I'd like to donate.
Drugs.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
Shortly after...
I've never liked them more.
Yeah, they're pretty fun.
They do drug deals.
Shortly after his 22-year career ended under mysterious, mysterious circumstances.
So, Bo said a general asked him to retire to focus on civilian prisoner of war,
P.O.W rescue missions.
Let me guess. He was forced out.
But the general died right after that.
Pull this pin.
So Bo showed people a letter.
He said, proved the general wanted him doing P.O.W.
rescue missions.
And the FBI
said the letter
was a forgery.
What do they know?
Who's to believe?
Who are you going to believe?
This guy's got
7,000 medals.
He's got 15 purple hearts.
Three on the same day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really tossing them out.
Pentagon sources said
Beau retired because
his superiors pressured
him into leaving
after believing that he'd done
a Colonel Kurt.
A Colonel Kurtz?
Go ahead.
Colonel Kurtz, I will show you.
Oh, God.
Josh is going to be mad of you.
Josh is pretty much constantly mad.
It's true.
Uh...
Can we read it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, dear.
So he did a Colonel Kurtz?
He did the Apocalypse Nowed?
Yeah.
So, Colonel.
Kurtz uh is marlin brando in apocalypse now as i call him the straight man in the movie
uh just like a real chill character uh okay so i'll rea walter kurtz was a career officer in the
u.s army he's a third generation west point graduate who had risen through the ranks and
was seen to be destined for a top post in the pentagon um so yeah so so and then he goes
bananas
and nom
so they think
so they think
that's what happened
right so that's
that's what some people
in Pentagon say
that they were like
okay
right yeah
how'd you go buddy
that's a bit
like we love a lot of shit
in the army
but wow
we were meant to do it
tell them dad
um
the issue of prisoners of war
the soldiers
missing in action
who were left behind
of Vietnam
was a pretty
big amongst veterans and now he's going to be involved in that and the
amongst veterans and their families so colonel kurtz is like i was
reassigned but it's a sham right um they're just people having hope right and they can't
let go oh oh that's a shame families and right and whatnot in 19 here's here's how it happened though
so in 1972 the nix administration lied whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa he did one
bad thing and it's this but he didn't do anything he's so he did tell a line he was on the up
it up for the most part yeah yeah but this is one thing everything i've heard has been pretty
soft for so he said there were around 1300 prisoners of war uh is he just trying to cover
for death no if you can imagine this so he wanted to say there were prisoners of war so he could
justify a christmas bobbing campaign right if you can imagine a country saying there were right
and he would use it as leverage in peace talks so that that's what so he lied right uh this is kessing
your shit who else could it be just it's so crazy how it like if we could just put our
minds towards doing proper things that help people but instead we're like how can we
bomb my christmas like it's just the evil most evil shit there were actually half as many
POWs, according to both
North Vietnam and American intelligence.
After the war, Nixon
only brought home 591
soldiers, which is probably the amount
there actually were.
But now people are like, well, there's
700 still there. Because
the fake numbers. Right.
So Nixon now says,
no, all POWs have been freed,
which makes everyone super
suspicious. Why is he saying
that?
And created a cottage industry of
people determined to bring our boys home.
Oh, no. No, not a cottage industry of P.O.W. Hunters.
Oh, no.
Ross Perot.
Oh, my God.
A short Texas billionaire obsessed with bringing every prisoner of war back.
We're going to find him.
We are going to find your boys, okay?
He called the Nixon White House so often than an exasperated age.
finally said, quote, God damn it! Stop calling!
Now, hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.
Hold on it. Put me on hold. I like the music got up there.
He organized a private...
Oh, my God.
Paramilitary operation...
Ross Perot.
To free two employees from an Iranian prison...
Now, where can find me, boys?
But in an act of incredible timing,
someone else freed the prisoners right before Perrault.
team arrive. I think we still go. Okay? I think we should still make the trip. Get the ghost one.
All right. The only thing that we're, look, look over, uh, we'll turn over every rock,
every stick, every log, everything we can find. Every tree trunk. Maybe a guy will be under our
shoe. Can I just ask you? Can I just ask you to stop calling them pals? Pows. Now, what are you
talking about? What are you calling? Never mind. It's like the Batman comment.
P.A.W. I call PiaW. It's like when Batman hits a guy. Pow.
And we're going to get them
It's not really
And when we break the door down
We're going to make a pail on the pough, okay?
We're going to find these boys
No matter what
I've never seen you so excited to be able to do Ross Perot
I don't know what you're talking about me
I've never never done
I never brought back a character
And seeing you
I mean you're now
Hold on a minute
You're floating all out of it
You're calling me a balloon?
Yes I might be a little ballooning right now
I'll tell you what I got more helium
inside of me than a big bunch of a birthday
Bash, okay?
According to Bo,
the director of the
Defense Intelligence Agency,
which is the Department
of Defense's own CIA.
What the, why?
Everybody needs one. We're good.
Everybody needs one. We're good.
Why would, the end of this country
will just be everyone's in a military
like service.
So he asked Ross
for the director of the defense of
asked Ross Pro to fund Bo's first P.O.W. rescue mission. Absolutely. You got to, you absolutely have a deal.
As Bo entered a pro's office, the first thing he saw was a massive bronze statue of John Wayne,
atop a majestic steed with his gun out looking very...
Now, how good is this? Huh?
from
Bo's autobiography
so
Paro gets right to the point
I should just have you read this
Sheriff okay wait
yeah so there's two sentences
here but I'll let you read Bo
okay
now I want you to go over there
and do everything necessary
you come back and tell me
there aren't any POWs left alive
I'm not interested in Bones
that's B-O-N-E-S
Now, how crazy is that that I just said that?
Remember the second one.
Oh, and as I pause, let me see a little more.
Ross Perrault goes on to say a quote.
When you get back, I have an additional task for you.
Governor Clements and the head of the DEA have given me permission
to have one man operate outside the law.
I know you have extensive contracts in Central America.
I want you to uncover and identify everyone dealing with cocaine,
everyone dealing cocaine between Columbia and Texas.
Once you're sure you've got them all,
I want you to wipe them out in a single night
like an angel of death.
Okay?
Like a little bad.
That little guy said that.
I want you to ride in and I'm like,
you're one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Take your sword out of your sheep.
And I want you to cut the heads off these boys, you understand?
And when the heads are off, I want the blood drained out of them.
And I want you to put it in a big bucket.
And I want you to cut the skulls out of the skin.
And then I want you to drink the blood out of the skulls
like wine from a craft.
You understand?
Yeah, but the skulls, because so they have the skull.
You will take the skull out of the skin.
I'm holding it.
Are you slow?
I'm holding it upside.
So it's upside down.
The skull?
No way it would hold.
Of course it is.
The water.
It's like a headball.
It's like a ball.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm just thinking of the particulars of drinking.
Well, some of it's going to spill down your neck.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
You will be covered in blood at that point anyway.
Okay.
So there's no need to worry about a napkin or anything like that.
Okay.
Are you slow, son?
No, no, I'm just...
You understand what I'm saying to you?
I'm just thinking this through.
You will drink the blood out of the skull
like it's blind from a big old bowl.
Okay.
And that's what you'll do.
And this is legal?
You said something about legal.
Now, the legality of all this.
Outside the law, is what you said.
Outside the law.
But that is not illegal.
Illegal is illegal.
You're just working a little bit outside the law.
I guess my question is...
I would rather you not have a question, but go ahead.
If you say the DA says they give permission
or outside the law,
Can they actually give that permission?
It seems like...
Yes.
From a Gummer perspective,
you can't actually say
work outside the law
because then...
They're not saying it I'm saying.
Okay.
They gave me a head knot.
I said to them,
can these boys work outside the law?
And one of them opened a window.
Okay.
So we're 100% clear on this.
Yeah.
All right?
Yeah.
I want you to do stuff
you've never done before.
Make it dirty.
I've done most of this.
And, by the way,
I want some of the skulls.
I've killed 400 people.
That's awesome
I never drank from my head though
Yeah
This is gonna be good for you
Yeah
I'm telling you
I never drank wine out of a skull
Or blood out of a skull or anything like that
Now what if I get it
But you know what I did have once
An old bottle of Merlot
1951
Okay
Yeah
Real good
But they left it standing up
So it's kind of vinegar
But I didn't even care
Were they making Merlo in 51
What kind of question is that
How would you even
What year you think Merlot was
invented. Are you actually
going to Google this?
That is an inappropriate Google right now.
We have bigger fish to fry.
Right now, we're a grilled covered in fish, and you're
telling me you're making room for a little bit of a Google?
That I'd make any sense.
They probably had it, right?
Probably, of course they had it.
I can't wait for you to eat crow.
Yeah, it doesn't really say, oh, history, here we go.
Here you go. History of Merlot.
Yeah, no, it's...
Ha ha! Now, look at you, boy.
1824.
Yeah, 1820.
What do you think they just made Merleau in like
1975?
It seems like...
It's not Sun Kiss, fool.
Yeah, yeah, it seems like a...
Out here acting like Merleau's Cheetos.
It's been around for a long time.
Mug's probably made it.
Mug's probably drank it.
Speaking of munks, I want you to take a vow silence
when it comes to talk back with me.
Now, on my table, I have a grenade.
I want you...
That's my thing!
I want you to do me a favor and eat it.
I'm not eating the fucking grenade.
Eat the grenade.
Okay.
I will eat it.
Okay.
All right.
uh so there's no record of this being true at all that oh there's no record that most of the stuff
that beau says there's no record of it being true is that problematic well there's no record
of pro ever giving bow a dime but i my memory is of pro how is perro invoking bow and liking bow a lot
like he pushed but how is he involved like well the same way elan gets involved
He was a billionaire.
A rich guy who was just now, like, having fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, you listen to me.
But Bo did get a quasi-go-ahead from the Army's version of the CIA, the intelligence support agency.
Oh, I'm like, what?
He's got to have another one.
The ISA was forwarded in 1979 to plan the failed rescue of American hostages in Iran.
Oh.
When we sent two helicopters and they weren't.
Right.
ready for the desert and they crashed yeah in two years the agency outwards welcome in the
pentagon mostly because can you imagine the pentagon being like you know what the fuck are these
guys do you're a little crazy uh it was deemed a rogue operation accountable to no one so they
got rid of it it's the perfect organization however her bog rights oh jeez how are they
they're just fighting each other yeah like a war crimes bumble
Bo's old army buddy at the ISA, codenamed Shipman.
Hello.
Gave him the green light, and Bo was ready to form his first big mission.
Operation Velvet hammer.
It is a soft fucking hammer.
That's what Mel Tourmet called his cock.
I'm going to...
What happened, bud?
What happened?
I'm going to hit you with a soft hammer so fucking soft.
The velvet handler.
You're going to want this hammer to hit you over.
And in this corner, oh, and 51.
So the velvet, based on the findings of a Vietnamese man named Lowe,
who approached U.S. agents about a P.O.W camp in Laos.
Okay.
So the U.S., when they hear this, they send a spy.
plane to take a picture.
And the picture
shows there is a large
facility with walls, fences,
and guard towns.
Well, well, well, well, well, well,
told you. Uh-huh.
There were standing
figures
whose shadows seem to indicate that they were
quote, taller
than Asians.
How do you make spy
plane pictures racial?
Jesus Christ
It is just
You know what
It's actually kind of nice to see
The racism trip up intelligence
And there were sitting figures who
Quote don't squat like Asians
Mother of God
Get it all out
This is called proof
That is
That is
not hey no that guy's sitting like a white no
oh i mean i want to go so we analyze the photo general and you can see here that this is
white sitting absolutely those men are not squatting and they're tinier than uh regular
men asians sit with their bottom down and their legs over their shoulders
These men are sitting with their just legs out.
Yep.
That is not an Asian.
They don't even know about that technology yet.
They haven't heard about legs going straight out.
One more.
One more thing, Gareth.
The symbols B and 52 seem to be stamped out in the grass.
So they're saying stamped out?
What do you say?
They're saying they saw someone stamped out.
out an imprint.
No, they didn't see it, but someone had done it.
Someone had done it.
And the grass.
Right.
But they're, so they're saying it's a part of...
It's a, the code, the prisoner of war is sending a message.
Oh, the prisoner of war.
He didn't stand by the SOS.
No.
He stepped out B-52.
He's the love shack.
Spy plane.
Love shack.
Love shack.
Oh my God.
So the military hire Thai and Laotian.
I have a low bar for the military war crimes.
And, uh, oof.
The military hire Ty and Laotian operatives to stick out the camp.
And they find no evidence of POWs.
They're compromised.
In fact, it looks like it's been deserted for a long time.
Just like they want you to believe.
Yeah, you fell for.
The DIA...
The DIA?
The DIA? That is the...
Oh, the Defense Intelligence Agency?
Yes, which is the Department of Defense is CIA.
Cool.
The DIA asked Lowe to take a lie detector test.
Okay.
This will do it.
Lye detectors work or not?
This will do it.
Well, he did fail several times.
Okay.
In this case, I guess it did.
I think they do sometimes, but I think there's a way to...
Yeah, right.
You can drink it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I put some...
something on my ass.
Huh?
There's a particular butt plug.
Huh?
You can also just press, put a pebble under your toe and push on that.
Why would you not go with that route?
Don't answer.
Do not answer.
Don't answer.
It looked as soon as they're, oh, okay, so the DIA concluded that the figures had been set up by low
or they were just shadows.
I want to talk about technology at this point
because why are you even doing it?
Because if you can't tell the difference between,
if you can't tell the difference between a shadow and a man
and you are pretending you can tell the difference
between a white guy and an Asian guy,
Maybe you shouldn't be using that technology.
Maybe that technology is not actually that good.
No, look, we're all excited for you guys to come up with that tech, obviously.
The drone era, we're all very pumped up for it.
But right now, it feels like maybe you're not there yet.
The ISA, however...
By the way, it's not only Asians.
It can be, Connie.
Rossboro is Asian-sized.
I don't think you're allowed to say something like that.
According to this.
I don't think you're allowed to say something like that.
According to this, there's many things you can compare me to.
According to spy photos.
A dress size, pony.
Prozation.
I'm the size of my fire hydrant.
But not one of those ones that's in the ground fully.
It's got the little base sticking up out like it's a little dress.
You don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm half a mailbox.
I'm a newspaper stand size.
Okay.
I'm pocket friendly.
So the ISA, which is the Army's version of the CIA, feels differently.
Shipman thought it that.
Shipman is his contact at the ISA.
Shipman thinks it's an active camp and sends the classified picture to Bo Grites.
Bo?
I let me guess what Bo thinks.
Well, he agrees.
He's like, this is a fucking active prison camp.
Look at it.
You give him the inkblot test, everything.
He's like, camp.
We need to go in.
And clearly some of our boys are there.
They're sitting down.
They're making B-52 in the grass.
B-Greys.
B-N-Go, baby.
Get moving.
What's thinking so long?
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Ugh.
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So Bo gets funding and starts putting together a team.
I need a team.
So news of this gets to the DIA's Admiral who hates Bo.
So right now you have the...
The Department of Defense's CIA now working opposed to the Army's CIA.
Yep, which is cool.
He would later, the Admiral would later tell Congress, quote,
the best thing Grites could do for the POW issue is find another activity.
Oh, just something else.
Oh, because you don't want him to be rescued because you left our boys.
They're not there.
You can never stop.
Yeah.
No matter what they say, you can never.
You can't win.
It can't win.
And all because Nixon said that's $1,300 there.
Jesus.
And this went on for, this was like a lot of, started in my childhood, but went on and on for you.
The P.O.W thing, there's P.O.
Dude, there's movies missing in action with Chuck Norse.
That's all based on this shit.
That's Christ.
But a great movie.
I mean, those old movies, I mean, it's just like, you would.
watch war crimes and be like,
let's go. That was like
the 80s and 90s. You were like, awesome.
Our guy just killed a bunch
of villagers. Well, have you ever seen
Blackhawk down? Oh, yeah. It's crazy.
They're like, oh, am I supposed
to be rooting for?
Um,
so
the Admiral declares that no one
in the government is allowed to cooperate
with Bo in order Bo to return
the photo. No. That's right.
Bo refuses.
And now, because he said that, he's more motivated to carry on.
He's like, these motherfuckers.
I will show them.
So he called old Special Forces buddies and offers $7,000.
This is war crimes expendables?
And offers $7,000.
Christ, paltry.
For a cool secret mission.
Do you guys want to go on a mission?
I don't have a lot.
That's actually a lot back then.
Is it?
That's a pretty good amount of money back.
Okay.
The new team also has green, it has green braes,
but it also has some unconventional type of people.
you might not expect to be on a P.O.W. rescue mission?
This is Arm.
They had a famous P.O.W. M.I.A. advocate, Ann Mills Griffith.
Hello.
A psychic?
I sense that there are war crimes coming.
A hypnototherapist?
I look into the... Where's that watch?
Look at the watch. There you go.
They all got together at a...
So you're going to take a psychic to...
find POWs that don't exist.
You bring a talking head lady who's
just like, I don't know,
Ann Coulter of POWs
and you take a hypnotherapist
and a psychic. And a psychic.
What do you think? We're ready to go.
They're definitely Asian.
Are they Asian?
You two don't
work together anymore. You two
steer clear of each other. You're kind of
ruining each other's Jojo
over there. So move apart.
So they go and train at a Florida cheerleading camp.
All right, guys.
Now, we're doing a pyramid.
And we're going to get it right.
And we're going to beat those girls from Clarkton.
Fuck Clarkton.
That's exactly what I'm talking about, hypnotherapy lady.
Bo invited two reporters to watch the training,
as you would do for Seagrimer.
mission. Well, he's probably just trying to get ahead of the
terrible things. This is a PR stunt. Well, he threatened to kill them if they
compromise it, but probably too early. He was like, we're going to rescue
POW guys, so we want someone to get the whole story. So when we get back,
we'll be superhero. A side. Right.
Where other missions like this involved rehearsing
raids in exact replicas of prison compounds,
which is harder if you're, because a Chilling camp doesn't really
it's not really the same
so boe did it differently
he refused to show anyone the surveillance
photo so all of the guys
who are working with him
can we just see the picture
they don't he won't show them the photo no
but trust me it's real bad
can we see it can you
draw a picture for us like make a map
um no
no but believe me
we got to get these guys out of there
we're really going to make a move.
Can you give us some indication of where we're going in and how to get out?
I can't compromise the mission right now.
Part of it.
Yeah.
A big part of it.
Well, we're going to have to do it.
Boys, a big part of it.
But I will not be, this is a picture time.
Trust me.
Okay.
I know what I'm doing.
Okay?
It seems like not.
I want you to take this gun on my table.
So instead of shit.
building everyone in the photo, he turned things over to the psychic, who described the layout
of the camp as she saw it from a vision.
There are many POWs and many Asians.
Oh, it's bad.
At this point, how bad do you need $7,000?
I guess you're doing it because you really think there's POWs over there, but...
Maybe.
Some are probably just like, had something to do.
There are red flags.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
A psychic is a red flag.
How sure are we in the mission?
Well, this lady can count cards pretty good.
Are we going through, are we going to come up in boats?
Are we going to go by foot?
I'm seeing us on rockets on our backs.
What's your son named Tony?
I think he's here.
It's a T name.
She described barbed wire tunnels, cell doors, with dog tags on them,
and seeing soldiers out in the jungle digging up bamboo shoes.
They're in the jungle.
Bamboos mainly grows underground.
Is bamboo mostly Japanese thing?
Is it in Vietnam?
Not right now.
I'm seeing a lot of bamboo, but the Vietnam bamboo grows underground towards the earth's
core, and they're making our poor boys dig it up. Why? Because they want them to go make
really cool, a really cool teaky bar. They really want a teaky bar. Do you see pandas?
There are a lot of pandas there, too, and they are eating the bamboo. And, oh, no, one of our
boys is in trouble. Is it Tony? Is it my son? It is Tony. Tony. Tony's,
there. And the panda
is trying to get the bamboo out of Tony's
hands. But Tony turned it into
like a bow weapon. Oh.
And he's poking the panda
with it, the vicious pandas.
Pandas have a taste for humans and fighting
and flesh. And
they, and he's, and he put it
through the panda's heart.
Oh.
And the panda's dead.
And Tony's
okay. And he's
taken the heart out.
Tony's seven, by
the way.
And Tony,
Tony took the heart out
and he's playing with it
like it's a little train.
Okay.
He's on the ground
and he's making
choo-choo noises.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's on my Tony.
And wow, what I'm...
You're tired?
Very tired.
Yeah.
It really takes it out of me.
Yeah.
There's so much
creativity I have to do.
Yeah.
It's difficult.
Yeah.
Well, you can take a nap
for a long time.
Now that they know
exactly what to expect
the prison camp
from the psychic.
We've got this.
It was time...
I know just where we'll park.
It was time for Boat to reveal
how they'd get there from the jungle.
Boe just received a state-of-the-art
experimental transportation device,
an inflatable airplane.
so just think about that no no think about it from a physics stamp it's all i'm thinking about it from a physics
stamp it's all i'm thinking about um so uh we will be floating over there yes uh a 747 balloon
well it looks like a big flamingo yes it's also in the summer it's
in a pool. Is this, what does it, what am I? I don't know. I have no answers.
One team member. If you weren't, you're like, man, I'm kind of getting cold feet. Hey, hear him out.
We will be leaving the jungle on an inflatable plate. Will they be shooting us? Yes. We will all have to
stop down and blow it up and we'll probably get a little lightheaded from doing it. And when you take your
lips off. Make sure to put your thumb over the little
pluggy bit. Otherwise, you'll lose your
breathwork. Okay. All right.
This is going to be great. This is going to work out good.
One team member imagined hiding in the
jungle under the cover of darkness,
fervently blowing air into the nozzle.
Moral was not great.
Nope.
Now, once they made it into the enemy
camp, Bo had a plan
for the assault. They'd kill the guards,
rescue... We have inflatable guns.
Rescue the P.O.D. Everything here is inflatable.
It's all, yeah.
This is a big, easy to get in.
Picture of pool party for an eight-year-old.
Everything here will be blown up with our mouths.
They'd rescue the POW as easy as that, but how would they get out, you might ask.
And Bo imagined it going like this.
The team would send word through a series of relay stations to the base commander at their hotel who would call...
Great job in this.
Anna Mills Griffith, who was in Washington, D.C., who would call her people
at the DIA, who would call the White House,
and then the president would call the 7th Fleet
to send in helicopters to rescue everyone.
It's a good, it's solid, it's a solid,
there's no way that communication could break down.
To preserve, I'm starting to think this guy doesn't know what he's doing.
To preserve mission secrecy, nobody in the government,
including the president, was to know anything about the mission,
until those calls went out now see that's a problem no no no the president's supposed to know that
stuff that's how you get reassurance they'll come pick you up no it's outside the law oh no that was
the other thing but this is also outside the law we can't the president can't know because it's
you can't have soldiers in another country well boy do i have a future for you
so bro
Bo brings in more reporters
to observe the training
which consisted of morning
the White House can't know about this
but he's doing press conferences
no
no he's just bringing the reporters like
embed him
yeah yeah oh are they going with them
no well they're just they're just coming to the training camp
right okay they might go with them
but still it's like you're like if you have a couple
yeah a couple reporters know about it
you're good now you're just like we need a team
we need a bunch of reporters
So, who is not familiar with inflatable plane?
It's pretty exciting.
So, the training consisted of morning and evening, exercise sessions, group hypnosis, and church.
It's like an eat, pray, love.
Well, if they had done this from the beginning of Vietnam, they would have won.
Absolutely.
Bo was the preacher.
Oh, God.
Telling his team, quote, he had been ordained by God, to rest,
U-P-O-Ws, and that team members were his disciples.
So it's fine.
It's all, this is what you want to hear when you're about to go on a mission of this type,
which isn't real.
Who ordained you?
God.
Don't you have to take some sort of training?
God said I don't.
No, he's good with it.
Well, fine.
One reason you don't invite journalists to see your training.
It's kind of obvious they check your sources.
Right.
So Beau bragged the operation was being funded with $300,000 from Federal Express.
What the fuck?
The shipping company.
So he's just out of his mind.
This guy's just out of his mind about to go rescue POWs that don't exist.
The shipping company.
On a plane that is inflatable, and it's all funded by somewhere that mails packaging.
Federal Express.
Like, if you're a reporter and you're like, I'm a little skeptical.
Don't worry.
There's all things being funded by Arby's.
Federal Express obviously heard about the operation when reporters called to ask them about it.
Before?
That's how they found out about it.
That's how the...
Oh, okay, right.
No.
Yeah, before it's happened.
Yeah, the reporters called.
So the White House can't know about this, but Federal Express is like, wait, sorry, there's a P.O.
we need to seal every left
except for these 18 journalists who can
follow up the sources. We'll get it there overnight
including POWs. If the plane doesn't inflate, Federal Express
has agreed to shift bus at half the rate.
Bo still sent
two team members to collect
the money
so he
from Federal Express. So he lied
reporters checked up on it
and said
Federal Express doesn't know
what the fuck you're talking about
and he was like
and to double down
he sent two men to get the money
go get it
where did they go
just to a Federal Express
headquarters
what the fuck
we're here to meet
Mr. Federal Express
and the two team members
get screamed at
by a corporate executive
and then they quit the mission
not Federal Express
is never part of it
The two team members.
Are you guys hiring?
Oh, my God.
We're not you, PS.
Oh, my God.
So broke.
Why are you quitting?
What do you mean?
It's all been pretty good so far.
So broke and nervous that word of the mission would get out,
Bo changed course, and moved them to a hunting lodge.
So now they're out in nature.
And Bo felt the word of the Lord running through him more.
How old is Beau right now?
I want to say...
No, no, no, no, no.
45?
Yeah, around middle age.
Wow.
So he feels the Lord running through him
being in this nature sort of area.
He held services.
He forced the men to hold hands and sing hymns.
Five men quit.
They're like, okay, that's...
I was with you, everything but the holding hands thing.
I'm out.
The chairman of the National League of Families,
which is the biggest organization devoted to POWs and MIAs
came to visit the camp and don't tell anyone
he was immediately horrified to learn that zero of the men had been paid
so no one's been paid these guys have been at train camp for a while
nobody's been paid uh and they had all a bunch of being convinced to quit their jobs
to participate so the chairman right there writes a check for 20 grand for them and
their families wow and three days later the orlando sentinel one
ahead and publish their story
on the front page.
This is for the mission
that we can't tell anyone about.
That's right. So Bo
Scraps the mission.
Well, I guess you didn't want
to be a Duffy to be a W is enough.
Imagine what, like, someone tells them it's on
the cover of, like, an Orlando
paper, like, wow.
Oh, shit.
It's like you can't invite
reporters to your clandestine
training camp anymore.
how the hell did they find out
someone here squealed
so he didn't kill a reporter
he didn't kill a reporter he didn't kill a report
remember he said he's going to kill a reporter
he didn't kill right
so
bow canceling the operation
isn't great news for the remaining
mercenaries operators
wherever they are they're stuck in florida
they have no money and they have no way home
they're just stuck
so the national league
of families chairman
again
opens a checkbook
and writes them all checks
so they can get home
to their family
from Beau
like if you're there
where the guy's like
dude I'm gonna fucking
buy them plane tickets
they don't need to fly
I have an inflatable jeet
they can all go on that
it'll be fine
but also
embarrassing for the guys
who did this
going back
yeah
you make it up
you make it up
you make it up
you make it
how was it
you look great
considering
what you must have
gone through. I didn't eat much. Oh my God.
We know we trained and we were ready. What was it like in the jungle?
Well, you must have. Oh, come here. You need a nice, clean bath. So there were in a blowjob.
Yeah. Yeah. How tough was the mission? Well, it was like being a cheerleader at a camp,
really. What? Yeah, it was hard. Wow. And then we were camping in the forest.
Ah, the jungle.
No.
And then how did you get to the POWB base?
We didn't know.
How many guys did you release?
We saved nine.
Nine men.
Yeah.
Well, get that dong out of your pants.
Okay, it might not work because it's sad.
What?
It's been humiliated by our country.
Are you looking directly into your camera?
Yeah, it's not what we do for this kind of thing.
No.
um 12 years 12 years later okay the guy was still mad at bow the guy who wrote the checks
yeah i thought he's furious he told the senate committee that bow had hoodwinked him and the men
and he wasn't anger about wasting 30,000 on a mission to never get off the ground he just wanted
accountability quote this committee has a responsibility to investigate and where necessary
prosecute these incredible liars because yeah because
when there's something like a belief that there's POWs out there, then, and there isn't,
then all that comes out of the woodwork is grifters.
Yeah.
That's it.
Now, he's a grifter, for sure.
Well, that's a, I mean, I don't know.
He could have believed that.
He's also just maybe nuts.
He's war nuts.
Yeah, he's nuts.
Like, he's nuts.
He wants there to be a mission.
Yeah, he does.
Big time.
Boat quickly recouped.
Dad, what do you think?
Where are you at on this one, Dad?
I'm just, I'm really disappointed, and I wish I had died twice once as a person and then again is a ghost, so I didn't have to see any of this.
My father thinks two men should go to Federal Express.
Fuck.
So he recoupes his losses and sets off on another mission officially called Operation Grand Eagle, code name Bohika, bend over, here it comes again.
What? Like, come on, you're doing concept wars?
Former Laotian general, Vang Powell, and Congressman Robert Dornan,
okay, that's a bad sign when Robert Dornan comes in on.
Robert Dornan was one of the OG Magas.
Oh, wow.
Before MAGA, he was MAG.
Right.
Congressman Robert Dornan were both behind the plot, as was the CIA.
When Dornan called the CIA to get a lowdown on the funding, CIA deputy director Bobby Ray Inman told him, this is the first he was hearing about it, and the mission was immediately canceled.
Oh, what?
The bend over one?
So he did it again.
He did it again.
He started up another one.
No one was actually doing it.
He said he was going to find out earlier.
He keeps saying there's funding and there's never funding.
Yeah, yeah.
He's doing pyramid missions.
Bo, he's not going to give up on the POWs.
Now.
He's going to take another crack at it.
This time, from money he would raise himself.
Oh, no.
He called this Operation Lazarus.
No.
He made contacts overseas like the deputy premier of Laos,
who would rent Beau his army.
Rent, Bo, his arm.
That's correct.
An American professional P.O.W. Hunter and Lowe, the guy who had grifted everyone about P.D.
He came in the first place.
Yeah. So, Bo is, you know, the CIA or the DIA or any other three-letter group get in his way this time.
Nobody's allowed to, yeah, there's really.
Obviously, that means he has to go straight to Reagan.
he just needs someone who can access
the president
somehow
some way
he finds one
actor Clint Eastwood
what
right wing lunatic
who would later talk to a chair
Clint was so into the idea
of this mission
that he gave both
30,000 to fund it
we will find them
we're going to get him
Bo now realizes Hollywood is a good source for money.
Oh, my God.
So he sets up...
Not actors.
He sets up a $10,000 sale of a book and movie rights with another actor, William Shatner.
I will get them.
I can't believe there's P.
O, W's.
Hollywood likes Bo.
which is why
idiots he would later say they made
the Rambo's movie after him
uh
no because he went on missions
of course
the first Rambo movie is based
on a book
written before Bo did a POW
rescue mission
that uh
that doesn't mess with what I said
but Rambo too
kind of seems based on the type of
operation Beau was raising money for
So, Lytton Industries, which is now part of Northrop Grumman, which is a weapons maker.
We're great, one of our best, ponied up 50 grand and the use of their high-tech equipment.
This is again to go find people who aren't there.
Yeah.
Including a set of sophisticated communication devices designed for use in a nuclear war, and they are worth millions of dollars.
Bo must have jizzed his army fatigues.
Oh my God, he bowed all over his pants.
Oh, he bowed a load.
They bowed a load.
From Prisoners of Hope by Susan Katz Keating, quote,
Through a series of mishaps,
Grites wound up grossly unprepared for a cross-border foray.
The former deputy premier swindled,
so the guy who was going to help and give him men,
swindled Grites.
out of 6,000 and are negged on the offer to rent Grites' army.
So he just, this is, this is before the mission, though?
Yeah.
So the grifter got grifter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The, where are the men?
The professional P.O.W. Hunter, who was paid $5,000 for use of his boat and never got
the boat, Clint Eastwood did not tell Reagan to send in rescue helicopters, a contact who was
supposed to supply guns, apparently lost the key to the locker that held the weapons.
That happened.
This is like, this is the opposite of the Ocean's 11 crew.
How are you going to get into a gun locker if you don't have the key?
There's no way.
It's over.
The mission's over.
Yeah, unfortunately.
All the guns are in there.
I'd shoot the lock off.
That's a combination.
Yeah.
Oh, sucks, too.
because we're so close to being able to do this.
And finally, the $27,000 payroll for the men of Operation Lazarus mysteriously disappeared.
FedEx.
Go get it, boys.
So it's looking like this mission, like the other ones would end before it even started.
Damn it. This is Lazarus.
Yeah, but Bo makes up his mind.
They're going to go on.
Well.
None of this shit's going to stop them.
Why would it?
of everything that they need is gone?
Well, they still have feet.
And so they marched through the jungle 65 miles.
Despite vocal objections from the men,
between the 19 of them,
they had three weapons.
Well, because the guy lost the key.
So...
The rest of you boys just hold leaves.
going to snap necks. The others will massage the others. We'll do massage trains.
They were going to meet with a team of hastily hired Laotian mercenaries at a rendezvous point
and then march to the rescue site at which at this point doesn't exist. There's no rescue
site. So that's a problem. I think everything's a problem. But two days in, they were
ambushed. It must have been the easiest ambush ever. They were like,
laid on your guns
All of you
That's all
That's all we have
All of you
We were sharing
Put all of you
There's only three year
There's 19 of you
Put your guns down
We are
We believe in sharing
Put your guns down
We did
Search them boys
They don't have any guns
You have three guns
Yeah
You didn't
What are you doing
We're gonna get
This
We're gonna let you go
I just want to get paid man
I just want to get paid
I left my job
That's what we want too
I worked at handles
Handles?
Ice cream
Handles ice cream?
Yeah
I'm barely speaking English
I'm just not doing the accent
But you're not doing it
Why aren't you doing the accent?
Stop asking
Please do your Laotian X
No
Please do your layish
I will not be doing that
How about improv is a little more real
than this?
I don't think it is
Okay, so one American is captured
And the team gets ready for a counterattack
But Bo finally for the first time
In a position to actually rescue a POW
He orders them to retreat
He has a POW
I think they got guns from the locians that they met up with
They must have more guns at this point
Anyway
They leave the guy behind
so that's what you're supposed to do they run back to thailand help and that that actually
escaping didn't go well for example one of the guys impelled his foot on a tree branch other men
got swept away by the mikhong river and almost died so the retreat was also bad so he's losing
men on a mission to save men that don't exist that's right so they get back to thailand um
the good news, bad news
situation here.
The good news is the prisoners
okay.
The guy, the prisoner they created.
Yeah.
The bad news is that he's being held for ransom
for 17,500 now
by the former deputy
premier who would help plan the mission.
Oh my God.
That guy was like,
where do you think you'll be
right looking to meet up?
He's the one who sent the
he's the one of the ampers them.
So clearly.
So he got, he already got 6,000 by scamming them.
And that is kidding.
Okay.
So.
By the way, there's our hero.
Yeah.
That guy is the best.
So Bo doesn't have the money.
And he's too embarrassed to tell anybody that he didn't just fail the P.OW rescue mission.
He created a new PEOD.
He created his own mission.
Well, now there is a POT.
He went on a fake mission and now he has a mission and now he doesn't know what to do.
And now there actually is a P.
We got to find money. Wait, why don't we go break him out? What are you talking about?
We can't do that. Is it possible?
So he just goes, he just leaves, he goes back to America.
What the fuck?
What the actual fuck?
What are you going to do?
Well, this is like what you've been training everyone for for like 20 years.
So the family's like, how did the mission go?
You sends a P.O. Dip.
What?
The opposite happened.
We made one.
We made one.
We went there to stop him, but we made one.
Did you try to rescue him?
We just, we ran.
We took off.
They were tree branches.
We went to, well, Clark hurt his foot real bad.
So we had to go back one quick.
And then, um, we had three guns.
Well, well, no, we got more eventually.
But, uh, but that guy, the guy we got the guns from eventually, um,
Well, he ripped us off and he took him back and then he...
Took a P.A.W.
Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, that's where you're...
Yeah, so...
People are playing fair.
Yeah. But the good news is, if we get a little bit of funding,
we can get over there and probably try to get your boy back.
Yeah.
No man left behind. That's what we say, ma'am.
That's what we say, except for him.
Well, yeah, yeah, him we left behind.
Because, again, Clark's foot was so bad.
I mean, like, our tree went through it.
It's a freak accident.
You've just seen it. Freak me out.
I don't know what you want, like, us to do, but he really...
really hurt his foot.
So, um,
do you have any money?
We really need some.
So,
he's back in America,
trying to get money for his next mission.
This motherfucker called Operation Lazarus Omega.
Oh,
because it's better.
But an opportunity presents itself.
Lytton Industries came calling after their million dollar equipment,
sending an executive to Bo who would ban a P-O-W.
So this guy, he's back.
at P-O-W. And Boe told him
he kind of lost
one of the million-dollar boxes
in Laos. He did?
But he would give the rest of the boxes
back
for 50 grand.
Dave,
there are flashes of me liking
this guy.
The executive disagreed with this
plan. On the grounds that they
loaned it to him and he lost one
and they're not going to pay him for the stuff they already
have. And he asked for his
property back. He's like, that's my
property. So, Bo goes
to the L.A. Times
and places an ad
for a one-day discreet
sale of highly
valuable military equipment
and the executive caved and
gave Bo $40,000.
Gareth,
Operation Lazarus
Omega is a go. We're going to save
POWs.
Woo!
Oh, finally our funding.
Oh, my God.
So, with this money, right now, this is official.
He's got real money now.
So he brings in two blonde women.
Once they were in Thailand, another team member asked Bo why he's bringing two young, attractive blonde women on a covert mission.
And Bo said that the girls needed him to be their Lawrence of Lowell.
In part to shut that team member up,
Bo used operational funds to send sex workers to his rooms.
So Bo brought two sex workers with him to...
And then when the guy was like, what are you doing?
Here's like, take sex workers.
Wait, trust me, we have money this time.
We can have a little fun before we go on the mission.
And is the mission, what is the mission now to go save the guy that he left behind?
Well, yeah, probably, yeah, maybe.
Among others.
He's still trying to go get the ones that don't...
Well, yeah, he's still trying to get the ones that Donagriss.
The guy, finally the guy that Bo Abandon is released, but not, had nothing to do with Bo.
But I bet you, he was like, we did it.
We did it.
Hey.
Well, while the prisoner is being held, he found an explosive device and he put it around his neck,
and he said he'd blow the place up if he wasn't freed.
So they let him go.
That's the grenade trick.
Just like I taught you.
So Boe is determined to get to that prison camp and free those P-O-W.
so he and his team leaps
but instead of going to the jungle they just hung out in a series of safe houses
and a rock quarry
these are all owned by Lowe the original grifter guy
meanwhile the Bangkok post runs a front page story
about Bo's current mission
and because of the story
Thai authorities have reason to believe
bow has had smuggled in illegal spy radio equipment.
Which he had, or he had before, if he didn't this time, he did before, for sure.
So his missions, there's no covert nature to any of these missions. Everyone knows.
Everyone's talking. That's a problem.
I mean, you're on the front page with your covert mission.
You would think once burned, you would be like, we got a bat in the hatch.
So here's what I'm thinking.
So I know we got burned because we brought in reporters.
So this time I'm thinking reporters and sex workers.
So we're just going to bring sex workers for this one.
Right.
Because they don't.
They don't say anything.
They don't say anything.
They don't have no.
Tight-lipped.
Absolutely.
Well.
So the tight government raids one of Lowe's safe houses where they found a blonde woman, a team member,
and a shit ton of radio equipment, and they charge them.
and Loeb posted their
bond. So one of the sex workers got
arrested
for having
spy radio equipment. Yeah.
She was just like, wait, what?
Still hiding in a rock quarry,
Bo wrote... We never leave a sex worker behind.
Still hiding in a rock quarry,
Bo wrote a letter declaring that he
had found proof of POWs.
He also said he was working
with the DIA and CIA, and he
handed the letter to a courier to give to the Bangkok correspondent of the L.A. Times and made
him tell the correspondent that Bo brought this letter all the way from a secret camp in Laos.
What?
On the day's team members were supposed to turn themselves in, because obviously the word's out now,
Bo showed up, allegedly right from the jungle, to surrender.
But photos taken of the event show Bo as completely clean-shaven and freshly showered.
I was at a holiday.
I'll be honest.
I bear grills did.
Nobody thought he was more ready to believe his own defense attorney in a Thai courtroom than Bo Greight's ready to be his own.
He's going to be his own.
Of course he is checking every box.
Yes, every book.
Of course he's going to be his own.
If only we could, if I could have a thimble size of the complex,
and it's his pan.
So he tries to show up
in his military uniform
with all the medals, right?
See that?
But the Thai government won't let.
I got a lot of these
from killing people.
I know.
It's not going to help you
in a Thai corner.
You know,
but I guess in retrospect,
you guys probably don't love this.
This is for killing some of the people you know.
I killed 400 people.
Thinking quickly,
Bo did the next best thing.
Naked.
Have Lowe show up to the
courtroom with the uniform and paraded around so he couldn't wear it but he had him oh gosh oh come
oh well that's mine uh zantic's went on there uh from there he was basically so annoying that the
tight government promised to give up on any other punishments if he just left and never came back
no that's their thing they're like you can never come back if you leave and go away forever we will
end this uh objection he took the deal
in America, there's a media firestorm.
He does a tour of national TV shows promising that he'd reveal real evidence of
POWs still being held prisoner in Laos.
And when asked to produce the photos, Bo said the role of film they were on was undeveloped.
And this, I remember, when he can't, I remember this specifically, because he is on all the shows
and he is being talked about as this he's there being he's being treated like a hero instead of
what he is which is a fucking what are you doing yeah he's a lunatic everyone's like what's it like
so that's the end of part one bo part one is crazy bo returns a military icon a hero but that what the
fuck is wrong we are so incapable of anything yeah i mean it is shocking yeah talk shows yeah
yeah we we were so primed for trump we were i mean we've just been like it we've just been
making it just putting the butter in the pan for it's time yeah it was time yeah god are we
seasoned this isn't the only one i'm currently writing one up of another guy that's just like this
shit, yeah, sources.
So this was written by Josh and Adrausky.
And Revolution of Small Guns by Adam Harfay.
Prisoners of Hope by, that's in the San Diego Reader.
Prisoners of Hope by Suzanne Katz Keating.
Oh, no, I don't want to read that one.
That one's on a source yet.
It'll be a source in Part 3.
Yeah.
Oh, there you go.
There you go.
America, we did it.
oh my god oh my god
hey dollop fans i know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop do you want to watch
the dollop you're like gareth what are you talking about by the way it's not gary it's gareth
well we have partnered with lakeside animation and we are starting to animate some of our
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on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube.
It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.
And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff,
the better chance we have of making a lot more of them.
We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.