The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 969 - Bo Gritz Part One

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine military guy Bo Grtiz. Part One of Three. SOURCES TOUR DATES OFFICIAL MERCH   Rocketmoney  Hydrow - Code: Dollop Chewy  ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I recently went to visit my buddy Phil in Ontario a little while ago, and he was like, oh, yeah, just come over, stay at my place. You know, and I was like, buddy, love you, but probably not going to do that. So I ended up booking an Airbnb in like the village of Chippewa right on the well land, I believe, canal. and yeah, it was awesome. I had like, there's like a little dock. There were big windows.
Starting point is 00:00:35 The whole nature meets city vibe. It was perfect. By day three, like Phil was like, can I crash here? And I was like, no, you have a home. But he did. And that's really when it hit me, that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there, but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese. having a good laugh with each other.
Starting point is 00:01:00 So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your life. It's flexible. It's on your schedule and it works around your lifestyle. Whether you're at home or you're off visiting your own fill in another city. So if you've ever thought about hosting your own place, this is your sign. Your home might be worth more than you think. find out how much at Airbnb.ca.ca slash host.
Starting point is 00:01:31 The dollop is brought to you by Squarespace. Oh, Dave. Our friends forever. We've been using Squarespace forever. We love their websites. They're crisp. They're clean. They're easy to use.
Starting point is 00:01:47 You don't have to update stuff. Look, we've said this over and over again. But if you want to know if we really do like Squarespace, go look at any website we're affiliated with. and it is square space. Oh, yeah. Look, they have flexible payments. You can just make the...
Starting point is 00:02:02 Flexible employees, too. Those people are... It's weird. You can make the whole checkout experience seamless, very simple, very powerful. They do credit cards, Apple pay, all the stuff, PayPal, they do it all. You can sell content.
Starting point is 00:02:16 You can sell your exclusive stuff right on their site, buy on the paywall, you can fill memberships, sell courses, whatever. You can sell stuff. I'm doing it. a ropes course on my website. Is that what we're talking about? I feel like we shouldn't have you on this. Okay, keep going. And if you're a business, you can manage your clients and invoices, vetting, and receiving
Starting point is 00:02:36 payment. Am I allowed to speak? Because I think that's a good point. No. Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollup to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm going to say it again. Go to Squarespace.com for free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. You're listening to the Dalop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast for each week I, Dan Anthony, read a story from American history to my worker. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Uh, and how do you feel today working, uh, for the dollop? Uh, I have, uh, I'm furious at Luke and have a new respect for him. There's a lot of wires. A lot of wires. There's software happening. There's cameras. There's a lot going on. There's a freaking, smiley face balloon for cry Pete.
Starting point is 00:03:46 You brought that in. No, this is just, where do we walk in right through the door with it? And I said, why are you doing that? That doesn't sound like me. Where did you get the smiley face balloon? I don't want to tell you. Well, we're just going to see her quietly then. I will do a balloon off.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Me day of the week, my friend. Well, welcome to the doll. Well, let's say this is someone's first episode. And the intro is pretty clear. But I know nothing. You're going to walk me through it. We've been doing this for almost 11 years, 11 years, over in 11 years? 17, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:25 So we've been doing this over, huh? We've been doing this for 11 years. You know, and it's just, it's fun. We're going to have fun with it. I think you're going to like it. And if you don't like it, all right, you know, that's fine. It's not a big deal. But I think if you hang in there, I understand.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I think if you hang in there, I think you'll learn to like it. And give it a minute. Do you consider this to be a sales pitch? Well, you know, I started thinking that. I'm telling the new listener, hey, welcome here. You're making the podcast sell by Brocolini. Bracolini is delicious. Brussels sprouts.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Brussels sprouts is delicious. No, people do not start out. Most people are like, all right. That's a great appetizer. Spargas, also an acquired thing. Dave, please, right now, new listener is not a food show. So you're probably a little thrown and you're going, hey, I thought they said there is some history in here.
Starting point is 00:05:21 There is. Dave just took it to a Brussels sprout level, ignoring the fact that Brussels sprouts are often a fantastic app at any good restaurant that many people get. That's not what I said. I said that it's an acquired taste. It's not an acquired taste. You can go there and have it for the first time because they put so much stuff on it. It's delicious. So, but that's not what it is. You tell me, I'm blowing the sales pitch. You're blowing the sales pitch. You're adding sauces. I'm at eight. So think of this show like Brussels sprouts and I'm the sauce. Boom. Go, go, go. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:52 we're going to be on tour oh my god more stuff we're going to be on tour yeah we're going on tour man so go to doll podcast dot com slash tour and there will our tour dates
Starting point is 00:06:09 we're going through the Midwest Midwest Indianapolis Chicago places like that But let's just take a minute to say to Milwaukee this is your last chance There's a balloon string hanging off This is it for you Milwaukee
Starting point is 00:06:20 It's really bad Okay, you better show up to Turner Hall. Yeah, Milwaukee. Because you're, you're embarrassing. I'm from there. Yeah. Where is this treatment of, come on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:33 What are you doing? You, I've been to, I'm from, you're not saturated with entertainment to the point where you're just going like, nah. Go to Turner Hall. My God. I don't know if that's a sales pitch. I know. I'm blowing it. I just, it's all things bad.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Do you think that was better with the balloon? Yeah. You can't really control a balloon. A balloon control. On the contrary, hot air, controlled. Go ahead. January 18th, 1939, year of our lord, J-Town. James Bogreitz was born in Enid, Oklahoma.
Starting point is 00:07:14 James Bogrides? James Boog-Rite. Bow-Rite. At five, Boe's dad disappeared, flying a mission in World War 2 becoming missing in action or as it's known M-I-A.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Mission in action. His mom wasn't around much as she worked full-time as a wartime ferry pilot. Go ahead. We're taking questions. What is it?
Starting point is 00:07:49 In World War II there are fairies. and they needed people to pilot them. Gigabelle, move. That's correct. Okay. So he's mostly raised by his grandparents. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:01 All he wanted to talk about as a kid was the military and his dad. He was obsessed. Okay. Grandma read him stories of fictional war heroes, and Bo would like to say he was going to be a real-life war hero like his dad. Okay. So Grandma said him on a nightlife. make-believe missions with the
Starting point is 00:08:24 ghost of his dead father. Well, there we go. So, there it is. I was letting you cook for a minute. And there we are. So, yeah, go ahead. So, well, ghost dad and regular boy off on war missions.
Starting point is 00:08:40 That's right. Yes. 1910, roughly. Yeah, nighttime, ghost. Ghost dad. War missions. So that's not going to fuck up a kid at all. That's going to... I, uh, no, I think, you know, that's one of those things where it's like, in the moment,
Starting point is 00:08:55 you're like, yeah, that's, he's happy. He's happy. But long term, maybe just talk to him a little bit. As an adult, he's going to be weird. Dad, what do you think? I can't right now. My dad and I have to go around the neighborhood to make sure there's no enemies. Dad, we got a trench over there.
Starting point is 00:09:10 He's like 35. So she, she encouraged a boat to recreate his dad, dead dad's flights with his father's spirit. beside him in an imaginary cockpit. It's like there's a thread there that I understand. But again, when you see it once, you'd be like, this is horrible. This is a terrible thing to do to a child. What do you think, Dad?
Starting point is 00:09:32 Here we go. Dad, here we go. Okay. All right. On another mission, a boy, it is Dad. Yeah, buddy. So listen. Oh, look at this scum.
Starting point is 00:09:45 More air scum, Dad. Yeah, we've talked about this before, but I would not. Anything I should put on? son i wouldn't bring a child with me on a couple of these look dad i don't want to be rude to you but right now we're on a mission it's not time for stuff like that might never be time for stuff like that uh boo huh i'm a ghost yeah dad focus what's with you today well i'm a ghost oh boy so i'm gonna oh dad they got us on the wing what should we do i'm thinking water landing i don't know oh dad here we go is any of this real like
Starting point is 00:10:18 What is real? Oh, no. There's so much water coming in. I would like to... Here, Dad, get out of the glass with me. Whatever spiritual... Yeah. I'm in, trapping here.
Starting point is 00:10:29 The further we swim in to the ocean, the further away we get from our actual feelings. And I... Down here, there's not feelings. I have come to the conclusion... Down here, there's not feelings. That the reason... Down here, there's not feelings.
Starting point is 00:10:40 As a ghost, I am still bound to this hell earth is because you won't let me go. Dad and a boy. Boy and a dead. fly in the plane that he once had boy in that dad fly in the plane oh dad looks like he's going and I hate the song but long term I'll be fine you're not going to be fine this will turn out and I'll shine oh yeah boy and ghost dad yeah I wish I could take the plate down again we should drown grandma. Jesus Christ. Yeah, don't you think? No. She's coming up with a lot of stupid ideas,
Starting point is 00:11:22 late. Well, okay. You and I can figure it out. No. Can you cook? I don't think I can lift things up. Teach me how to shave. Other, so other than like the ghost dad's stuff, he had a pretty normal childhood. Okay. But then he starts to act out as a teen. Okay. So he did pranks. He built hot rods and he'd speed around town, stole motorcycles, blew up the school auditorium with fireworks, just things that kid, hijinks, that kids get into. One's bigger. Like, stuff like that. One's bigger.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Yeah, but you were a rascal. I'll be honest, I love fireworks. How old were you when you blew up the school auditorium? I should put it in my house, burned down once, but it wasn't me, but everyone in my school thought it was me. Of course they did. Yeah, but they love fireworks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Well, so in 1953, he was 14 years old and he was expelled from school. Okay. So he's got no father to discipline him. Yeah, they kick me out. Yeah, that's true. But Ghost Dad doesn't discipline. He goes along with you. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:35 That's why I love you, Ghost Dad. So Bo had to sort of discipline himself, and he picked, he decided to go to military school. Oh, boy. He's like, that's what I need. discipline maybe his dad's future what worked in what way well in his senior year he was offered a spot at a west point academy god damn i'll tell you what we keep going to that west point well comes up a lot and seems to be a bit of a bit problematic a fucking weirdos go through west point seems like it's not great yeah as he uh uh as he was considering it going to west point he saw
Starting point is 00:13:16 A green beret poster on campus, right? So a poster for the green brays. And he asked his recruiter. He goes, what do those guys do? And the recruiter said, quote, they go out into the woods, live off bark and lizards, snoop around, blow up bridges, and garret people. And Bo could not sign up fast enough.
Starting point is 00:13:38 No, Garrett. Gareth. No, it's not you. It's the action of garreting. Garething. Bo enlisted in 1957 enrolled in Officer Candidate School Because this guy sounds like officer
Starting point is 00:13:53 For the Green Berets Yes, well boy By 1963 he was a captain Just in time for the Vietnam War So he's good Whatever he's doing, he's good at him Yeah, no, he's good Quote, I used to test my people
Starting point is 00:14:08 Once they said they wanted to volunteer for my unit I would sit across the table Take a hand grenade place it on the table and say pull the pin and let it go I think you're allowed to do that I knew I had taken the blasting cap off the grenade
Starting point is 00:14:23 but they didn't know it and when you're on special operations they cannot let common sense ruled their judgment they have to believe in me I mean I don't know man I feel like a lot of it is common sense
Starting point is 00:14:38 too you got to like you know there's got to be and by the way I would definitely be like he's full of it I'll do it yeah I think most people would think well he's not gonna blow us both
Starting point is 00:14:50 yeah right if you were like leaving there you'd mouth to the other guys like they probably everybody probably everybody knew going in yeah like yeah
Starting point is 00:15:00 he does this stupid grenade thing but I need you to oh you pulled that pretty quick huh yeah I don't care I trust you I think out there I've really got to listen to what you think
Starting point is 00:15:09 that's right so So, Bowden command many U.S. soldiers. Instead, he was given a detachment mostly of Cambodian mercenaries. That's cool. That's a sign of your normal. I'm feeling that. Well, I think in retrospect, we've been quite good to Cambodia. Thank you. So. If there's one country, America has been good to it, it's Cambodia.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Yeah. No, I believe Anthony Bourdain's quote is, if you want to hate America, go to Cambodia. Yeah. Indeed. In 1966, a U-2 spy plane crashed in Cambodia, and its black box full of secret codes could fall into the hands of the USSR. Real easy, too. Which is our enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Who's on your shirt? That's Carl Marx.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Well, what's your deal? What's the shirt say? Told you so. Yeah. President Johnson wanted the black box back so he called in special forces and that means Bo Grites
Starting point is 00:16:14 When I was growing up I always thought his name was Bo Gritz. I've never heard of him You've never heard of Bo Grit. No. Or Bo Grites. No. Bo said he led his team behind enemy lines to the crash but the box was gone.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Cambodians. Cambodians. it didn't take him long to find sandal tracks leading to an enemy camp. Whereas we call them just Cambodians. Yep. But yeah, a Cambodian village. An area of Cambodian people living their lives. The feeling this isn't going to go great.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Well, he led a raid on the camp, successfully recovered the black box. Okay. Now, other Green Berets who were on that mission said that his version, is absolute bullshit. They said the black box was just at the crash site and they got it without firing a shot. Or they had to attack
Starting point is 00:17:14 an enemy camp. He said that they went in there just attacking and that's how he found it. So he went on a Rambo mission to find the black box. He followed the sandal tracks. Now, can I... You've seen...
Starting point is 00:17:26 You've seen video of a jungle. You've seen... Sure. Vietnam War movies. How do you think following... following sandal tracks goes in the jungle. Well, I think you're probably looking, you're looking for some
Starting point is 00:17:42 depressed leaves, some areas of you know, I think you could, I could probably figure it out and probably follow it, but it's not the easiest. And here's why, Dave. It's quite, quite leafy and foresty.
Starting point is 00:18:00 And the ground is, and moist. Moist. And, and, and, and, It's probably not that easy. And even if you can follow it for a minute, it's probably difficult to keep going. Yeah. But interesting.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yeah. So there, that's what happened. Bo on some fellow soldiers, quote, there are soldiers like myself who are not staff pukes. We didn't come up the rank slow stroking the generals.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Instead, we came up in the fox. Is that a hand job? Yeah. Wow. Instead, we came up in the foxholes and the field. we will not sell our time, our talent, our resources to anyone regardless, but we'll give them if the cause is right.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Who jacked off a general? I do it. I got. These generals have an insatiable hunger for hand jobs. Can I be a colonel? Can I be a colonel? Drop and give me it. Oh.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah. General Westmoreland wrote of the raid in his memoir and portrayed Bo as a hero. Okay. Even though it's clearly not real. I'm open. Francis Ford Coppola wanted to use a picture of Bo and his mercenaries for Apocalypse Now.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Bowes rose up to Lieutenant Colonel in Vietnam. Time magazine said he became, quote, the most decorated soldier in American history with over 60 medals, including the Distinguished Flying Cross, two Purple Hearts, two Legion of Merits, three silver stars, four bronze stars, and 26 air medals. I mean, that's crazy. That's a lot.
Starting point is 00:19:45 You're happy now, Daddy? You could probably sell that for a lot. Two Purple Hearts? Yeah, well, yeah, but I think you get those pretty... I don't think you do. I think you'd get them pretty easy. If you're not the right people. I've got a bunch of them.
Starting point is 00:19:57 I think if people like you, you get those easier. Yeah, yeah. I got a bunch of purple hearts. You want one? No problem. That's not how you get them. Yeah. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:20:06 You can steal a Purple Heart, and then you are officially injured in Vietnam. People don't know that. Were you alive for Vietnam? No. That crazy? But a Freedom of Information Act request later seemed to show that Bo basically gave himself many of the medals. Oh. Sometimes awarding himself twice for the same thing.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Oh, my God. People who just aren't checking paperwork. How was he able to do that? He's just... Do it. Send in paperwork once. Send in metal. Send it paperwork again.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Change some of the details. Get it again. Jesus, guys. This guy needs a lot of purple hearts. Imagine what is uniform. Oh, that whole thing is like growing up Cub Scouts. After the war, he had a crisis of conscious, and he said he had killed 400 men. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And he was trying to grapple with it, but couldn't. Can you imagine killing 400 people? Yes. Okay. I have a list. But, I mean, you've never killed. Well. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:07 No, I have not killed a human being. Yeah. I accidentally killed the possum ones. Ah. That's sad. Ugh. Quote, I went to the top of a mountain in Mexico. I had one bullet in my nine millimeter.
Starting point is 00:21:23 I come to... Shot one Mexican. Dirty, dirty Mexican I saw from the bluff and I shot him. I had come to some sort of realization. Had all of the loss of life that I had precipitated in Vietnam, was it excusable? No. Luckily, Bo came to a conclusion, quote, searching back if you take life and do it in the course of duty, that kind of wrongful death is excusable.
Starting point is 00:21:55 How can you possibly? I did soul searching is what I did. How can, but imagine if, I mean, look. What I realized was, if you're wearing a uniform and you cut off someone's head, be it a soldier or a child, you're doing it for your country, and therefore, it is what is officially termed, okay, dokey. What you don't understand, God, was I was told to. Oh, my mistake.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Well, go on. I'm in here. But I really think, like, I mean, there are so many soldiers who have come back from, you know, fucking whatever word are like, what the fuck? What did I do? I mean, and you have, I mean, how are you, you got to, like, find a way to be like, all right, I'm just, I mean, they told me to. They told them to.
Starting point is 00:22:42 They lied to him. Yeah, and but although he's not lied to. No, he's the lie. A lot of them are lied to, and they have to do stuff that's absolutely horrendous. Yeah, and then you have to, like, come back and actually, like, you know, figure that out, which is impossible. And then you become a cop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:57 And then, oh. Bo started doing a karate. And that is when he met a beautiful woman. He gave him something like four black belts. Beautiful woman. Okay. They were married that year. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:10 She's 16. 20 years younger. She's 16? 20 years younger. 16? Fertile Gareth. 16? She's 16.
Starting point is 00:23:18 She is just out of childhood. You know, the whole... How long until Trump just lowers the fuck age? I don't think they call it the fuck age. well soon enough it's called the fuck age we'll call it the fuck yeah that's how we might get around everything so yeah he really might bo was transferred to special forces a commander of south america where he served until 1977 okay uh now if you have heard the doll before you'll remember some very bad
Starting point is 00:23:53 shit was going on in south america at that time may i say very very bad shit concentration camp shit by us. Okay, all right. So, amazed and frustrated, he watched
Starting point is 00:24:08 the U.S. Shield ruthless Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega. Have I done it all up on Noriega? I don't think so, no. He had a major role
Starting point is 00:24:20 in a joint operation by the CIA and the Mossade to create the cocaine boom in the U.S., which led to millions of dollars going to buy weapons for anti-socialist contras in Central and South America.
Starting point is 00:24:33 It really is, like, shocking to me, once again, the length of time we've just been doing the exact same shit and being lied to about a... I mean, Mossad and CIA are Pip and Jordan. Yeah. I mean, just one's always like, I'll cook. Yeah. From Panama, Bo learned, quote, 10% of required CIA covert funds come from Congress. appropriation, the other 90% is made up from extra legal means.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Extra legal means? Right. So if you really look into the CIA, you'll see that they do get a lot of money from the government, but they make a lot of money on their own. Is that right? Yeah. How are they making that money? Well, right here, it's drugs.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Hello, CIA. I'd like to donate. Drugs. That's so cool. Yeah. Shortly after... I've never liked them more. Yeah, they're pretty fun.
Starting point is 00:25:27 They do drug deals. Shortly after his 22-year career ended under mysterious, mysterious circumstances. So, Bo said a general asked him to retire to focus on civilian prisoner of war, P.O.W rescue missions. Let me guess. He was forced out. But the general died right after that. Pull this pin. So Bo showed people a letter.
Starting point is 00:25:54 He said, proved the general wanted him doing P.O.W. rescue missions. And the FBI said the letter was a forgery. What do they know? Who's to believe? Who are you going to believe?
Starting point is 00:26:09 This guy's got 7,000 medals. He's got 15 purple hearts. Three on the same day. Yeah. Yeah. Really tossing them out. Pentagon sources said
Starting point is 00:26:22 Beau retired because his superiors pressured him into leaving after believing that he'd done a Colonel Kurt. A Colonel Kurtz? Go ahead. Colonel Kurtz, I will show you.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Oh, God. Josh is going to be mad of you. Josh is pretty much constantly mad. It's true. Uh... Can we read it? Oh, yeah. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:26:53 So he did a Colonel Kurtz? He did the Apocalypse Nowed? Yeah. So, Colonel. Kurtz uh is marlin brando in apocalypse now as i call him the straight man in the movie uh just like a real chill character uh okay so i'll rea walter kurtz was a career officer in the u.s army he's a third generation west point graduate who had risen through the ranks and was seen to be destined for a top post in the pentagon um so yeah so so and then he goes
Starting point is 00:27:27 bananas and nom so they think so they think that's what happened right so that's that's what some people in Pentagon say
Starting point is 00:27:35 that they were like okay right yeah how'd you go buddy that's a bit like we love a lot of shit in the army but wow
Starting point is 00:27:44 we were meant to do it tell them dad um the issue of prisoners of war the soldiers missing in action who were left behind of Vietnam
Starting point is 00:27:55 was a pretty big amongst veterans and now he's going to be involved in that and the amongst veterans and their families so colonel kurtz is like i was reassigned but it's a sham right um they're just people having hope right and they can't let go oh oh that's a shame families and right and whatnot in 19 here's here's how it happened though so in 1972 the nix administration lied whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa he did one bad thing and it's this but he didn't do anything he's so he did tell a line he was on the up it up for the most part yeah yeah but this is one thing everything i've heard has been pretty
Starting point is 00:28:35 soft for so he said there were around 1300 prisoners of war uh is he just trying to cover for death no if you can imagine this so he wanted to say there were prisoners of war so he could justify a christmas bobbing campaign right if you can imagine a country saying there were right and he would use it as leverage in peace talks so that that's what so he lied right uh this is kessing your shit who else could it be just it's so crazy how it like if we could just put our minds towards doing proper things that help people but instead we're like how can we bomb my christmas like it's just the evil most evil shit there were actually half as many POWs, according to both
Starting point is 00:29:27 North Vietnam and American intelligence. After the war, Nixon only brought home 591 soldiers, which is probably the amount there actually were. But now people are like, well, there's 700 still there. Because the fake numbers. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:44 So Nixon now says, no, all POWs have been freed, which makes everyone super suspicious. Why is he saying that? And created a cottage industry of people determined to bring our boys home. Oh, no. No, not a cottage industry of P.O.W. Hunters.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Oh, no. Ross Perot. Oh, my God. A short Texas billionaire obsessed with bringing every prisoner of war back. We're going to find him. We are going to find your boys, okay? He called the Nixon White House so often than an exasperated age. finally said, quote, God damn it! Stop calling!
Starting point is 00:30:29 Now, hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. Hold on it. Put me on hold. I like the music got up there. He organized a private... Oh, my God. Paramilitary operation... Ross Perot. To free two employees from an Iranian prison... Now, where can find me, boys?
Starting point is 00:30:47 But in an act of incredible timing, someone else freed the prisoners right before Perrault. team arrive. I think we still go. Okay? I think we should still make the trip. Get the ghost one. All right. The only thing that we're, look, look over, uh, we'll turn over every rock, every stick, every log, everything we can find. Every tree trunk. Maybe a guy will be under our shoe. Can I just ask you? Can I just ask you to stop calling them pals? Pows. Now, what are you talking about? What are you calling? Never mind. It's like the Batman comment. P.A.W. I call PiaW. It's like when Batman hits a guy. Pow.
Starting point is 00:31:24 And we're going to get them It's not really And when we break the door down We're going to make a pail on the pough, okay? We're going to find these boys No matter what I've never seen you so excited to be able to do Ross Perot I don't know what you're talking about me
Starting point is 00:31:38 I've never never done I never brought back a character And seeing you I mean you're now Hold on a minute You're floating all out of it You're calling me a balloon? Yes I might be a little ballooning right now
Starting point is 00:31:50 I'll tell you what I got more helium inside of me than a big bunch of a birthday Bash, okay? According to Bo, the director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, which is the Department of Defense's own CIA.
Starting point is 00:32:06 What the, why? Everybody needs one. We're good. Everybody needs one. We're good. Why would, the end of this country will just be everyone's in a military like service. So he asked Ross for the director of the defense of
Starting point is 00:32:23 asked Ross Pro to fund Bo's first P.O.W. rescue mission. Absolutely. You got to, you absolutely have a deal. As Bo entered a pro's office, the first thing he saw was a massive bronze statue of John Wayne, atop a majestic steed with his gun out looking very... Now, how good is this? Huh? from Bo's autobiography so Paro gets right to the point
Starting point is 00:32:58 I should just have you read this Sheriff okay wait yeah so there's two sentences here but I'll let you read Bo okay now I want you to go over there and do everything necessary you come back and tell me
Starting point is 00:33:13 there aren't any POWs left alive I'm not interested in Bones that's B-O-N-E-S Now, how crazy is that that I just said that? Remember the second one. Oh, and as I pause, let me see a little more. Ross Perrault goes on to say a quote. When you get back, I have an additional task for you.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Governor Clements and the head of the DEA have given me permission to have one man operate outside the law. I know you have extensive contracts in Central America. I want you to uncover and identify everyone dealing with cocaine, everyone dealing cocaine between Columbia and Texas. Once you're sure you've got them all, I want you to wipe them out in a single night like an angel of death.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Okay? Like a little bad. That little guy said that. I want you to ride in and I'm like, you're one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Take your sword out of your sheep. And I want you to cut the heads off these boys, you understand? And when the heads are off, I want the blood drained out of them.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And I want you to put it in a big bucket. And I want you to cut the skulls out of the skin. And then I want you to drink the blood out of the skulls like wine from a craft. You understand? Yeah, but the skulls, because so they have the skull. You will take the skull out of the skin. I'm holding it.
Starting point is 00:34:28 Are you slow? I'm holding it upside. So it's upside down. The skull? No way it would hold. Of course it is. The water. It's like a headball.
Starting point is 00:34:35 It's like a ball. Yeah, exactly. I'm just thinking of the particulars of drinking. Well, some of it's going to spill down your neck. Yeah. But that's okay. You will be covered in blood at that point anyway. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:46 So there's no need to worry about a napkin or anything like that. Okay. Are you slow, son? No, no, I'm just... You understand what I'm saying to you? I'm just thinking this through. You will drink the blood out of the skull like it's blind from a big old bowl.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Okay. And that's what you'll do. And this is legal? You said something about legal. Now, the legality of all this. Outside the law, is what you said. Outside the law. But that is not illegal.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Illegal is illegal. You're just working a little bit outside the law. I guess my question is... I would rather you not have a question, but go ahead. If you say the DA says they give permission or outside the law, Can they actually give that permission? It seems like...
Starting point is 00:35:21 Yes. From a Gummer perspective, you can't actually say work outside the law because then... They're not saying it I'm saying. Okay. They gave me a head knot.
Starting point is 00:35:30 I said to them, can these boys work outside the law? And one of them opened a window. Okay. So we're 100% clear on this. Yeah. All right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I want you to do stuff you've never done before. Make it dirty. I've done most of this. And, by the way, I want some of the skulls. I've killed 400 people. That's awesome
Starting point is 00:35:49 I never drank from my head though Yeah This is gonna be good for you Yeah I'm telling you I never drank wine out of a skull Or blood out of a skull or anything like that Now what if I get it
Starting point is 00:35:59 But you know what I did have once An old bottle of Merlot 1951 Okay Yeah Real good But they left it standing up So it's kind of vinegar
Starting point is 00:36:09 But I didn't even care Were they making Merlo in 51 What kind of question is that How would you even What year you think Merlot was invented. Are you actually going to Google this? That is an inappropriate Google right now.
Starting point is 00:36:24 We have bigger fish to fry. Right now, we're a grilled covered in fish, and you're telling me you're making room for a little bit of a Google? That I'd make any sense. They probably had it, right? Probably, of course they had it. I can't wait for you to eat crow. Yeah, it doesn't really say, oh, history, here we go.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Here you go. History of Merlot. Yeah, no, it's... Ha ha! Now, look at you, boy. 1824. Yeah, 1820. What do you think they just made Merleau in like 1975? It seems like...
Starting point is 00:36:52 It's not Sun Kiss, fool. Yeah, yeah, it seems like a... Out here acting like Merleau's Cheetos. It's been around for a long time. Mug's probably made it. Mug's probably drank it. Speaking of munks, I want you to take a vow silence when it comes to talk back with me.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Now, on my table, I have a grenade. I want you... That's my thing! I want you to do me a favor and eat it. I'm not eating the fucking grenade. Eat the grenade. Okay. I will eat it.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Okay. All right. uh so there's no record of this being true at all that oh there's no record that most of the stuff that beau says there's no record of it being true is that problematic well there's no record of pro ever giving bow a dime but i my memory is of pro how is perro invoking bow and liking bow a lot like he pushed but how is he involved like well the same way elan gets involved He was a billionaire. A rich guy who was just now, like, having fun.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Yeah. Yeah, you listen to me. But Bo did get a quasi-go-ahead from the Army's version of the CIA, the intelligence support agency. Oh, I'm like, what? He's got to have another one. The ISA was forwarded in 1979 to plan the failed rescue of American hostages in Iran. Oh. When we sent two helicopters and they weren't.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Right. ready for the desert and they crashed yeah in two years the agency outwards welcome in the pentagon mostly because can you imagine the pentagon being like you know what the fuck are these guys do you're a little crazy uh it was deemed a rogue operation accountable to no one so they got rid of it it's the perfect organization however her bog rights oh jeez how are they they're just fighting each other yeah like a war crimes bumble Bo's old army buddy at the ISA, codenamed Shipman. Hello.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Gave him the green light, and Bo was ready to form his first big mission. Operation Velvet hammer. It is a soft fucking hammer. That's what Mel Tourmet called his cock. I'm going to... What happened, bud? What happened? I'm going to hit you with a soft hammer so fucking soft.
Starting point is 00:39:15 The velvet handler. You're going to want this hammer to hit you over. And in this corner, oh, and 51. So the velvet, based on the findings of a Vietnamese man named Lowe, who approached U.S. agents about a P.O.W camp in Laos. Okay. So the U.S., when they hear this, they send a spy. plane to take a picture.
Starting point is 00:39:48 And the picture shows there is a large facility with walls, fences, and guard towns. Well, well, well, well, well, well, told you. Uh-huh. There were standing figures
Starting point is 00:40:01 whose shadows seem to indicate that they were quote, taller than Asians. How do you make spy plane pictures racial? Jesus Christ It is just You know what
Starting point is 00:40:23 It's actually kind of nice to see The racism trip up intelligence And there were sitting figures who Quote don't squat like Asians Mother of God Get it all out This is called proof That is
Starting point is 00:40:39 That is not hey no that guy's sitting like a white no oh i mean i want to go so we analyze the photo general and you can see here that this is white sitting absolutely those men are not squatting and they're tinier than uh regular men asians sit with their bottom down and their legs over their shoulders These men are sitting with their just legs out. Yep. That is not an Asian.
Starting point is 00:41:13 They don't even know about that technology yet. They haven't heard about legs going straight out. One more. One more thing, Gareth. The symbols B and 52 seem to be stamped out in the grass. So they're saying stamped out? What do you say? They're saying they saw someone stamped out.
Starting point is 00:41:36 out an imprint. No, they didn't see it, but someone had done it. Someone had done it. And the grass. Right. But they're, so they're saying it's a part of... It's a, the code, the prisoner of war is sending a message. Oh, the prisoner of war.
Starting point is 00:41:52 He didn't stand by the SOS. No. He stepped out B-52. He's the love shack. Spy plane. Love shack. Love shack. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:42:06 So the military hire Thai and Laotian. I have a low bar for the military war crimes. And, uh, oof. The military hire Ty and Laotian operatives to stick out the camp. And they find no evidence of POWs. They're compromised. In fact, it looks like it's been deserted for a long time. Just like they want you to believe.
Starting point is 00:42:34 Yeah, you fell for. The DIA... The DIA? The DIA? That is the... Oh, the Defense Intelligence Agency? Yes, which is the Department of Defense is CIA. Cool. The DIA asked Lowe to take a lie detector test.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Okay. This will do it. Lye detectors work or not? This will do it. Well, he did fail several times. Okay. In this case, I guess it did. I think they do sometimes, but I think there's a way to...
Starting point is 00:43:03 Yeah, right. You can drink it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I put some... something on my ass. Huh? There's a particular butt plug.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Huh? You can also just press, put a pebble under your toe and push on that. Why would you not go with that route? Don't answer. Do not answer. Don't answer. It looked as soon as they're, oh, okay, so the DIA concluded that the figures had been set up by low or they were just shadows.
Starting point is 00:43:39 I want to talk about technology at this point because why are you even doing it? Because if you can't tell the difference between, if you can't tell the difference between a shadow and a man and you are pretending you can tell the difference between a white guy and an Asian guy, Maybe you shouldn't be using that technology. Maybe that technology is not actually that good.
Starting point is 00:44:09 No, look, we're all excited for you guys to come up with that tech, obviously. The drone era, we're all very pumped up for it. But right now, it feels like maybe you're not there yet. The ISA, however... By the way, it's not only Asians. It can be, Connie. Rossboro is Asian-sized. I don't think you're allowed to say something like that.
Starting point is 00:44:31 According to this. I don't think you're allowed to say something like that. According to this, there's many things you can compare me to. According to spy photos. A dress size, pony. Prozation. I'm the size of my fire hydrant. But not one of those ones that's in the ground fully.
Starting point is 00:44:43 It's got the little base sticking up out like it's a little dress. You don't know what I'm talking about. I'm half a mailbox. I'm a newspaper stand size. Okay. I'm pocket friendly. So the ISA, which is the Army's version of the CIA, feels differently. Shipman thought it that.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Shipman is his contact at the ISA. Shipman thinks it's an active camp and sends the classified picture to Bo Grites. Bo? I let me guess what Bo thinks. Well, he agrees. He's like, this is a fucking active prison camp. Look at it. You give him the inkblot test, everything.
Starting point is 00:45:20 He's like, camp. We need to go in. And clearly some of our boys are there. They're sitting down. They're making B-52 in the grass. B-Greys. B-N-Go, baby. Get moving.
Starting point is 00:45:28 What's thinking so long? The dollop is brought to you by. Rocket money. A lot of people don't know how much money that they're spending each month. They don't know how many subscriptions that they have going on or what they're paying for them or how much they like spend on stuff like takeaway, delivery, restaurants, how much, you know, just different categories, right? Entertainment. People don't realize what they're spending on. You've got your takeaways, your dine-ins, you're, there's just, it's a lot of, it's a lot.
Starting point is 00:46:03 yes i'm trying to relate how's it going so look so there uh there's an app that is uh for you to figure out how you're spending money and what you're wasting money on and all that stuff and it's called rocket money mhm rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings both gareth and i have found subscriptions we forgot about uh mine kid games to a toothbrush other stuff uh i also think that they that it basically like shows you things that you're like i will use that again and then you see how much it costs you're like i don't think i will yeah that's not
Starting point is 00:46:51 worth it to use that again or like when you know you join a subscription for uh like a three month introductory thing for two 99 and then it's like now it's 20s and you totally forgot about it. That's a great business model. It happens to me all the time, but now Rocket Money's like, hey. You want three, for three days, it's free. And then like, now it's $40 a month forever. You signed a year of contract.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Yeah, so people are saving tons of money using Rocket Money. We saved tons of money. I saved money. They renegotiated my internet subscription, my, which I was trying to do before you hired them to do that. I'd been trying to renegotiate your internet for a while. And those, they're sharks. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:47:30 yeah stay away so rocket money's 5 million members if i can get into your wire zone a little bit more i really don't say to my wire zone rocket money's five million members have saved a total of 500 million and canceled subscriptions with members saving and i just want to 740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features no no i just want to say that you know obviously use them for all the stuff we're talking about but if you if anyone needs me to get in their wires i'm available to get in the wire zone and I really have no problem kind of picking away at stuff and I'll get under the house for a little while. A lot of this can be solved by if I'm allowed to go into the crawl space. Nothing makes sense that he is saying cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach
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Starting point is 00:51:36 of them not all of them but a lot of them are like the rowing instructor is going through a body of water it just i don't know there's something about it it teaches you good form you it and rowing is such a good workout as far as if you're looking for something that's low impact but still good burn full body it's like what is it like 97% of your mom muscles get worked when you wrote 86% when you if you take if you involve me in hydro i can get up to 97 that's just the pitch for me to hydro but no if they're listening but uh but it's full body i mean there is the reason why it's low impact is because you use everything so i uh i love the hydro i'm always on the hydro a few times a week and it's just the best and sometimes gareth comes over i go to
Starting point is 00:52:24 his house and we hydro together yeah we do a hydro built for two and we should point out that they have asked us to not talk about that but that's our reality sorry it's not their reality it's ours like we make it happen yep skip the gym not the workout stay on track with hydro for a limited time go to hydro dot com and use code dollop to save up to $450 off your hydro pro rower that's h Y-D-R-O-W dot com code dollop to save up to $450 dollars hydro dot com code dollop i recently went to visit my buddy phil uh in ontario a little while ago and he was like oh yeah just come over stay at my place um you know and i was like buddy love you but probably not going to do that so um i ended up uh booking an Airbnb in uh like the village of
Starting point is 00:53:22 Chippewa right on the well well land i believe canal and um yeah it was awesome i had like uh there's like a little dock there were big windows the whole nature meets city vibe it was perfect by day three like phil was like can i crash here and i was like no you have a home um but he did and uh and that's really when it hit me that someone had to be hosting this place that they weren't even there but they're making money while we're just sitting out on the dock, drinking coffee, watching geese, having a good laugh with each other. So if you've got the space, it's a practical way to earn some extra cash to, you know, go towards whatever, car payments, cat food, groceries, whatever, without it taking over your
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Starting point is 00:55:54 Go to squarespace.com for free trial. When you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So Bo gets funding and starts putting together a team. I need a team. So news of this gets to the DIA's Admiral who hates Bo. So right now you have the... The Department of Defense's CIA now working opposed to the Army's CIA. Yep, which is cool.
Starting point is 00:56:26 He would later, the Admiral would later tell Congress, quote, the best thing Grites could do for the POW issue is find another activity. Oh, just something else. Oh, because you don't want him to be rescued because you left our boys. They're not there. You can never stop. Yeah. No matter what they say, you can never.
Starting point is 00:56:45 You can't win. It can't win. And all because Nixon said that's $1,300 there. Jesus. And this went on for, this was like a lot of, started in my childhood, but went on and on for you. The P.O.W thing, there's P.O. Dude, there's movies missing in action with Chuck Norse. That's all based on this shit.
Starting point is 00:57:06 That's Christ. But a great movie. I mean, those old movies, I mean, it's just like, you would. watch war crimes and be like, let's go. That was like the 80s and 90s. You were like, awesome. Our guy just killed a bunch of villagers. Well, have you ever seen
Starting point is 00:57:25 Blackhawk down? Oh, yeah. It's crazy. They're like, oh, am I supposed to be rooting for? Um, so the Admiral declares that no one in the government is allowed to cooperate with Bo in order Bo to return
Starting point is 00:57:41 the photo. No. That's right. Bo refuses. And now, because he said that, he's more motivated to carry on. He's like, these motherfuckers. I will show them. So he called old Special Forces buddies and offers $7,000. This is war crimes expendables? And offers $7,000.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Christ, paltry. For a cool secret mission. Do you guys want to go on a mission? I don't have a lot. That's actually a lot back then. Is it? That's a pretty good amount of money back. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:08 The new team also has green, it has green braes, but it also has some unconventional type of people. you might not expect to be on a P.O.W. rescue mission? This is Arm. They had a famous P.O.W. M.I.A. advocate, Ann Mills Griffith. Hello. A psychic? I sense that there are war crimes coming.
Starting point is 00:58:33 A hypnototherapist? I look into the... Where's that watch? Look at the watch. There you go. They all got together at a... So you're going to take a psychic to... find POWs that don't exist. You bring a talking head lady who's just like, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:58:50 Ann Coulter of POWs and you take a hypnotherapist and a psychic. And a psychic. What do you think? We're ready to go. They're definitely Asian. Are they Asian? You two don't work together anymore. You two
Starting point is 00:59:09 steer clear of each other. You're kind of ruining each other's Jojo over there. So move apart. So they go and train at a Florida cheerleading camp. All right, guys. Now, we're doing a pyramid. And we're going to get it right. And we're going to beat those girls from Clarkton.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Fuck Clarkton. That's exactly what I'm talking about, hypnotherapy lady. Bo invited two reporters to watch the training, as you would do for Seagrimer. mission. Well, he's probably just trying to get ahead of the terrible things. This is a PR stunt. Well, he threatened to kill them if they compromise it, but probably too early. He was like, we're going to rescue POW guys, so we want someone to get the whole story. So when we get back,
Starting point is 00:59:58 we'll be superhero. A side. Right. Where other missions like this involved rehearsing raids in exact replicas of prison compounds, which is harder if you're, because a Chilling camp doesn't really it's not really the same so boe did it differently he refused to show anyone the surveillance photo so all of the guys
Starting point is 01:00:23 who are working with him can we just see the picture they don't he won't show them the photo no but trust me it's real bad can we see it can you draw a picture for us like make a map um no no but believe me
Starting point is 01:00:41 we got to get these guys out of there we're really going to make a move. Can you give us some indication of where we're going in and how to get out? I can't compromise the mission right now. Part of it. Yeah. A big part of it. Well, we're going to have to do it.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Boys, a big part of it. But I will not be, this is a picture time. Trust me. Okay. I know what I'm doing. Okay? It seems like not. I want you to take this gun on my table.
Starting point is 01:01:11 So instead of shit. building everyone in the photo, he turned things over to the psychic, who described the layout of the camp as she saw it from a vision. There are many POWs and many Asians. Oh, it's bad. At this point, how bad do you need $7,000? I guess you're doing it because you really think there's POWs over there, but... Maybe.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Some are probably just like, had something to do. There are red flags. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. A psychic is a red flag. How sure are we in the mission? Well, this lady can count cards pretty good. Are we going through, are we going to come up in boats?
Starting point is 01:01:59 Are we going to go by foot? I'm seeing us on rockets on our backs. What's your son named Tony? I think he's here. It's a T name. She described barbed wire tunnels, cell doors, with dog tags on them, and seeing soldiers out in the jungle digging up bamboo shoes. They're in the jungle.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Bamboos mainly grows underground. Is bamboo mostly Japanese thing? Is it in Vietnam? Not right now. I'm seeing a lot of bamboo, but the Vietnam bamboo grows underground towards the earth's core, and they're making our poor boys dig it up. Why? Because they want them to go make really cool, a really cool teaky bar. They really want a teaky bar. Do you see pandas? There are a lot of pandas there, too, and they are eating the bamboo. And, oh, no, one of our
Starting point is 01:03:06 boys is in trouble. Is it Tony? Is it my son? It is Tony. Tony. Tony's, there. And the panda is trying to get the bamboo out of Tony's hands. But Tony turned it into like a bow weapon. Oh. And he's poking the panda with it, the vicious pandas. Pandas have a taste for humans and fighting
Starting point is 01:03:27 and flesh. And they, and he's, and he put it through the panda's heart. Oh. And the panda's dead. And Tony's okay. And he's taken the heart out.
Starting point is 01:03:41 Tony's seven, by the way. And Tony, Tony took the heart out and he's playing with it like it's a little train. Okay. He's on the ground
Starting point is 01:03:48 and he's making choo-choo noises. Okay. Yeah. That's on my Tony. And wow, what I'm... You're tired? Very tired.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah. It really takes it out of me. Yeah. There's so much creativity I have to do. Yeah. It's difficult. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Well, you can take a nap for a long time. Now that they know exactly what to expect the prison camp from the psychic. We've got this. It was time...
Starting point is 01:04:17 I know just where we'll park. It was time for Boat to reveal how they'd get there from the jungle. Boe just received a state-of-the-art experimental transportation device, an inflatable airplane. so just think about that no no think about it from a physics stamp it's all i'm thinking about it from a physics stamp it's all i'm thinking about um so uh we will be floating over there yes uh a 747 balloon
Starting point is 01:05:07 well it looks like a big flamingo yes it's also in the summer it's in a pool. Is this, what does it, what am I? I don't know. I have no answers. One team member. If you weren't, you're like, man, I'm kind of getting cold feet. Hey, hear him out. We will be leaving the jungle on an inflatable plate. Will they be shooting us? Yes. We will all have to stop down and blow it up and we'll probably get a little lightheaded from doing it. And when you take your lips off. Make sure to put your thumb over the little pluggy bit. Otherwise, you'll lose your breathwork. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:05:46 This is going to be great. This is going to work out good. One team member imagined hiding in the jungle under the cover of darkness, fervently blowing air into the nozzle. Moral was not great. Nope. Now, once they made it into the enemy camp, Bo had a plan
Starting point is 01:06:03 for the assault. They'd kill the guards, rescue... We have inflatable guns. Rescue the P.O.D. Everything here is inflatable. It's all, yeah. This is a big, easy to get in. Picture of pool party for an eight-year-old. Everything here will be blown up with our mouths. They'd rescue the POW as easy as that, but how would they get out, you might ask.
Starting point is 01:06:22 And Bo imagined it going like this. The team would send word through a series of relay stations to the base commander at their hotel who would call... Great job in this. Anna Mills Griffith, who was in Washington, D.C., who would call her people at the DIA, who would call the White House, and then the president would call the 7th Fleet to send in helicopters to rescue everyone. It's a good, it's solid, it's a solid,
Starting point is 01:06:54 there's no way that communication could break down. To preserve, I'm starting to think this guy doesn't know what he's doing. To preserve mission secrecy, nobody in the government, including the president, was to know anything about the mission, until those calls went out now see that's a problem no no no the president's supposed to know that stuff that's how you get reassurance they'll come pick you up no it's outside the law oh no that was the other thing but this is also outside the law we can't the president can't know because it's you can't have soldiers in another country well boy do i have a future for you
Starting point is 01:07:33 so bro Bo brings in more reporters to observe the training which consisted of morning the White House can't know about this but he's doing press conferences no no he's just bringing the reporters like
Starting point is 01:07:48 embed him yeah yeah oh are they going with them no well they're just they're just coming to the training camp right okay they might go with them but still it's like you're like if you have a couple yeah a couple reporters know about it you're good now you're just like we need a team we need a bunch of reporters
Starting point is 01:08:02 So, who is not familiar with inflatable plane? It's pretty exciting. So, the training consisted of morning and evening, exercise sessions, group hypnosis, and church. It's like an eat, pray, love. Well, if they had done this from the beginning of Vietnam, they would have won. Absolutely. Bo was the preacher. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:08:29 Telling his team, quote, he had been ordained by God, to rest, U-P-O-Ws, and that team members were his disciples. So it's fine. It's all, this is what you want to hear when you're about to go on a mission of this type, which isn't real. Who ordained you? God. Don't you have to take some sort of training?
Starting point is 01:08:51 God said I don't. No, he's good with it. Well, fine. One reason you don't invite journalists to see your training. It's kind of obvious they check your sources. Right. So Beau bragged the operation was being funded with $300,000 from Federal Express. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:09:10 The shipping company. So he's just out of his mind. This guy's just out of his mind about to go rescue POWs that don't exist. The shipping company. On a plane that is inflatable, and it's all funded by somewhere that mails packaging. Federal Express. Like, if you're a reporter and you're like, I'm a little skeptical. Don't worry.
Starting point is 01:09:34 There's all things being funded by Arby's. Federal Express obviously heard about the operation when reporters called to ask them about it. Before? That's how they found out about it. That's how the... Oh, okay, right. No. Yeah, before it's happened.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Yeah, the reporters called. So the White House can't know about this, but Federal Express is like, wait, sorry, there's a P.O. we need to seal every left except for these 18 journalists who can follow up the sources. We'll get it there overnight including POWs. If the plane doesn't inflate, Federal Express has agreed to shift bus at half the rate. Bo still sent
Starting point is 01:10:16 two team members to collect the money so he from Federal Express. So he lied reporters checked up on it and said Federal Express doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about
Starting point is 01:10:31 and he was like and to double down he sent two men to get the money go get it where did they go just to a Federal Express headquarters what the fuck
Starting point is 01:10:40 we're here to meet Mr. Federal Express and the two team members get screamed at by a corporate executive and then they quit the mission not Federal Express is never part of it
Starting point is 01:10:54 The two team members. Are you guys hiring? Oh, my God. We're not you, PS. Oh, my God. So broke. Why are you quitting? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:11:08 It's all been pretty good so far. So broke and nervous that word of the mission would get out, Bo changed course, and moved them to a hunting lodge. So now they're out in nature. And Bo felt the word of the Lord running through him more. How old is Beau right now? I want to say... No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:11:28 45? Yeah, around middle age. Wow. So he feels the Lord running through him being in this nature sort of area. He held services. He forced the men to hold hands and sing hymns. Five men quit.
Starting point is 01:11:43 They're like, okay, that's... I was with you, everything but the holding hands thing. I'm out. The chairman of the National League of Families, which is the biggest organization devoted to POWs and MIAs came to visit the camp and don't tell anyone he was immediately horrified to learn that zero of the men had been paid so no one's been paid these guys have been at train camp for a while
Starting point is 01:12:08 nobody's been paid uh and they had all a bunch of being convinced to quit their jobs to participate so the chairman right there writes a check for 20 grand for them and their families wow and three days later the orlando sentinel one ahead and publish their story on the front page. This is for the mission that we can't tell anyone about. That's right. So Bo
Starting point is 01:12:31 Scraps the mission. Well, I guess you didn't want to be a Duffy to be a W is enough. Imagine what, like, someone tells them it's on the cover of, like, an Orlando paper, like, wow. Oh, shit. It's like you can't invite
Starting point is 01:12:47 reporters to your clandestine training camp anymore. how the hell did they find out someone here squealed so he didn't kill a reporter he didn't kill a reporter he didn't kill a report remember he said he's going to kill a reporter he didn't kill right
Starting point is 01:13:03 so bow canceling the operation isn't great news for the remaining mercenaries operators wherever they are they're stuck in florida they have no money and they have no way home they're just stuck so the national league
Starting point is 01:13:18 of families chairman again opens a checkbook and writes them all checks so they can get home to their family from Beau like if you're there
Starting point is 01:13:28 where the guy's like dude I'm gonna fucking buy them plane tickets they don't need to fly I have an inflatable jeet they can all go on that it'll be fine but also
Starting point is 01:13:37 embarrassing for the guys who did this going back yeah you make it up you make it up you make it up you make it
Starting point is 01:13:43 how was it you look great considering what you must have gone through. I didn't eat much. Oh my God. We know we trained and we were ready. What was it like in the jungle? Well, you must have. Oh, come here. You need a nice, clean bath. So there were in a blowjob. Yeah. Yeah. How tough was the mission? Well, it was like being a cheerleader at a camp,
Starting point is 01:14:12 really. What? Yeah, it was hard. Wow. And then we were camping in the forest. Ah, the jungle. No. And then how did you get to the POWB base? We didn't know. How many guys did you release? We saved nine. Nine men.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Yeah. Well, get that dong out of your pants. Okay, it might not work because it's sad. What? It's been humiliated by our country. Are you looking directly into your camera? Yeah, it's not what we do for this kind of thing. No.
Starting point is 01:14:49 um 12 years 12 years later okay the guy was still mad at bow the guy who wrote the checks yeah i thought he's furious he told the senate committee that bow had hoodwinked him and the men and he wasn't anger about wasting 30,000 on a mission to never get off the ground he just wanted accountability quote this committee has a responsibility to investigate and where necessary prosecute these incredible liars because yeah because when there's something like a belief that there's POWs out there, then, and there isn't, then all that comes out of the woodwork is grifters. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:28 That's it. Now, he's a grifter, for sure. Well, that's a, I mean, I don't know. He could have believed that. He's also just maybe nuts. He's war nuts. Yeah, he's nuts. Like, he's nuts.
Starting point is 01:15:39 He wants there to be a mission. Yeah, he does. Big time. Boat quickly recouped. Dad, what do you think? Where are you at on this one, Dad? I'm just, I'm really disappointed, and I wish I had died twice once as a person and then again is a ghost, so I didn't have to see any of this. My father thinks two men should go to Federal Express.
Starting point is 01:16:02 Fuck. So he recoupes his losses and sets off on another mission officially called Operation Grand Eagle, code name Bohika, bend over, here it comes again. What? Like, come on, you're doing concept wars? Former Laotian general, Vang Powell, and Congressman Robert Dornan, okay, that's a bad sign when Robert Dornan comes in on. Robert Dornan was one of the OG Magas. Oh, wow. Before MAGA, he was MAG.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Right. Congressman Robert Dornan were both behind the plot, as was the CIA. When Dornan called the CIA to get a lowdown on the funding, CIA deputy director Bobby Ray Inman told him, this is the first he was hearing about it, and the mission was immediately canceled. Oh, what? The bend over one? So he did it again. He did it again. He started up another one.
Starting point is 01:17:14 No one was actually doing it. He said he was going to find out earlier. He keeps saying there's funding and there's never funding. Yeah, yeah. He's doing pyramid missions. Bo, he's not going to give up on the POWs. Now. He's going to take another crack at it.
Starting point is 01:17:28 This time, from money he would raise himself. Oh, no. He called this Operation Lazarus. No. He made contacts overseas like the deputy premier of Laos, who would rent Beau his army. Rent, Bo, his arm. That's correct.
Starting point is 01:17:49 An American professional P.O.W. Hunter and Lowe, the guy who had grifted everyone about P.D. He came in the first place. Yeah. So, Bo is, you know, the CIA or the DIA or any other three-letter group get in his way this time. Nobody's allowed to, yeah, there's really. Obviously, that means he has to go straight to Reagan. he just needs someone who can access the president somehow
Starting point is 01:18:18 some way he finds one actor Clint Eastwood what right wing lunatic who would later talk to a chair Clint was so into the idea of this mission
Starting point is 01:18:35 that he gave both 30,000 to fund it we will find them we're going to get him Bo now realizes Hollywood is a good source for money. Oh, my God. So he sets up... Not actors.
Starting point is 01:18:48 He sets up a $10,000 sale of a book and movie rights with another actor, William Shatner. I will get them. I can't believe there's P. O, W's. Hollywood likes Bo. which is why idiots he would later say they made the Rambo's movie after him
Starting point is 01:19:15 uh no because he went on missions of course the first Rambo movie is based on a book written before Bo did a POW rescue mission that uh
Starting point is 01:19:30 that doesn't mess with what I said but Rambo too kind of seems based on the type of operation Beau was raising money for So, Lytton Industries, which is now part of Northrop Grumman, which is a weapons maker. We're great, one of our best, ponied up 50 grand and the use of their high-tech equipment. This is again to go find people who aren't there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:58 Including a set of sophisticated communication devices designed for use in a nuclear war, and they are worth millions of dollars. Bo must have jizzed his army fatigues. Oh my God, he bowed all over his pants. Oh, he bowed a load. They bowed a load. From Prisoners of Hope by Susan Katz Keating, quote, Through a series of mishaps, Grites wound up grossly unprepared for a cross-border foray.
Starting point is 01:20:31 The former deputy premier swindled, so the guy who was going to help and give him men, swindled Grites. out of 6,000 and are negged on the offer to rent Grites' army. So he just, this is, this is before the mission, though? Yeah. So the grifter got grifter. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Yeah. The, where are the men? The professional P.O.W. Hunter, who was paid $5,000 for use of his boat and never got the boat, Clint Eastwood did not tell Reagan to send in rescue helicopters, a contact who was supposed to supply guns, apparently lost the key to the locker that held the weapons. That happened. This is like, this is the opposite of the Ocean's 11 crew. How are you going to get into a gun locker if you don't have the key?
Starting point is 01:21:25 There's no way. It's over. The mission's over. Yeah, unfortunately. All the guns are in there. I'd shoot the lock off. That's a combination. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:35 Oh, sucks, too. because we're so close to being able to do this. And finally, the $27,000 payroll for the men of Operation Lazarus mysteriously disappeared. FedEx. Go get it, boys. So it's looking like this mission, like the other ones would end before it even started. Damn it. This is Lazarus. Yeah, but Bo makes up his mind.
Starting point is 01:22:01 They're going to go on. Well. None of this shit's going to stop them. Why would it? of everything that they need is gone? Well, they still have feet. And so they marched through the jungle 65 miles. Despite vocal objections from the men,
Starting point is 01:22:23 between the 19 of them, they had three weapons. Well, because the guy lost the key. So... The rest of you boys just hold leaves. going to snap necks. The others will massage the others. We'll do massage trains. They were going to meet with a team of hastily hired Laotian mercenaries at a rendezvous point and then march to the rescue site at which at this point doesn't exist. There's no rescue
Starting point is 01:22:54 site. So that's a problem. I think everything's a problem. But two days in, they were ambushed. It must have been the easiest ambush ever. They were like, laid on your guns All of you That's all That's all we have All of you We were sharing
Starting point is 01:23:12 Put all of you There's only three year There's 19 of you Put your guns down We are We believe in sharing Put your guns down We did
Starting point is 01:23:20 Search them boys They don't have any guns You have three guns Yeah You didn't What are you doing We're gonna get This
Starting point is 01:23:31 We're gonna let you go I just want to get paid man I just want to get paid I left my job That's what we want too I worked at handles Handles? Ice cream
Starting point is 01:23:45 Handles ice cream? Yeah I'm barely speaking English I'm just not doing the accent But you're not doing it Why aren't you doing the accent? Stop asking Please do your Laotian X
Starting point is 01:23:55 No Please do your layish I will not be doing that How about improv is a little more real than this? I don't think it is Okay, so one American is captured And the team gets ready for a counterattack
Starting point is 01:24:15 But Bo finally for the first time In a position to actually rescue a POW He orders them to retreat He has a POW I think they got guns from the locians that they met up with They must have more guns at this point Anyway They leave the guy behind
Starting point is 01:24:31 so that's what you're supposed to do they run back to thailand help and that that actually escaping didn't go well for example one of the guys impelled his foot on a tree branch other men got swept away by the mikhong river and almost died so the retreat was also bad so he's losing men on a mission to save men that don't exist that's right so they get back to thailand um the good news, bad news situation here. The good news is the prisoners okay.
Starting point is 01:25:05 The guy, the prisoner they created. Yeah. The bad news is that he's being held for ransom for 17,500 now by the former deputy premier who would help plan the mission. Oh my God. That guy was like,
Starting point is 01:25:20 where do you think you'll be right looking to meet up? He's the one who sent the he's the one of the ampers them. So clearly. So he got, he already got 6,000 by scamming them. And that is kidding. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:33 So. By the way, there's our hero. Yeah. That guy is the best. So Bo doesn't have the money. And he's too embarrassed to tell anybody that he didn't just fail the P.OW rescue mission. He created a new PEOD. He created his own mission.
Starting point is 01:25:52 Well, now there is a POT. He went on a fake mission and now he has a mission and now he doesn't know what to do. And now there actually is a P. We got to find money. Wait, why don't we go break him out? What are you talking about? We can't do that. Is it possible? So he just goes, he just leaves, he goes back to America. What the fuck? What the actual fuck?
Starting point is 01:26:14 What are you going to do? Well, this is like what you've been training everyone for for like 20 years. So the family's like, how did the mission go? You sends a P.O. Dip. What? The opposite happened. We made one. We made one.
Starting point is 01:26:32 We went there to stop him, but we made one. Did you try to rescue him? We just, we ran. We took off. They were tree branches. We went to, well, Clark hurt his foot real bad. So we had to go back one quick. And then, um, we had three guns.
Starting point is 01:26:50 Well, well, no, we got more eventually. But, uh, but that guy, the guy we got the guns from eventually, um, Well, he ripped us off and he took him back and then he... Took a P.A.W. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, that's where you're... Yeah, so... People are playing fair. Yeah. But the good news is, if we get a little bit of funding,
Starting point is 01:27:10 we can get over there and probably try to get your boy back. Yeah. No man left behind. That's what we say, ma'am. That's what we say, except for him. Well, yeah, yeah, him we left behind. Because, again, Clark's foot was so bad. I mean, like, our tree went through it. It's a freak accident.
Starting point is 01:27:23 You've just seen it. Freak me out. I don't know what you want, like, us to do, but he really... really hurt his foot. So, um, do you have any money? We really need some. So, he's back in America,
Starting point is 01:27:38 trying to get money for his next mission. This motherfucker called Operation Lazarus Omega. Oh, because it's better. But an opportunity presents itself. Lytton Industries came calling after their million dollar equipment, sending an executive to Bo who would ban a P-O-W. So this guy, he's back.
Starting point is 01:27:57 at P-O-W. And Boe told him he kind of lost one of the million-dollar boxes in Laos. He did? But he would give the rest of the boxes back for 50 grand. Dave,
Starting point is 01:28:14 there are flashes of me liking this guy. The executive disagreed with this plan. On the grounds that they loaned it to him and he lost one and they're not going to pay him for the stuff they already have. And he asked for his property back. He's like, that's my
Starting point is 01:28:31 property. So, Bo goes to the L.A. Times and places an ad for a one-day discreet sale of highly valuable military equipment and the executive caved and gave Bo $40,000.
Starting point is 01:28:47 Gareth, Operation Lazarus Omega is a go. We're going to save POWs. Woo! Oh, finally our funding. Oh, my God. So, with this money, right now, this is official.
Starting point is 01:29:07 He's got real money now. So he brings in two blonde women. Once they were in Thailand, another team member asked Bo why he's bringing two young, attractive blonde women on a covert mission. And Bo said that the girls needed him to be their Lawrence of Lowell. In part to shut that team member up, Bo used operational funds to send sex workers to his rooms. So Bo brought two sex workers with him to... And then when the guy was like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 01:29:40 Here's like, take sex workers. Wait, trust me, we have money this time. We can have a little fun before we go on the mission. And is the mission, what is the mission now to go save the guy that he left behind? Well, yeah, probably, yeah, maybe. Among others. He's still trying to go get the ones that don't... Well, yeah, he's still trying to get the ones that Donagriss.
Starting point is 01:29:59 The guy, finally the guy that Bo Abandon is released, but not, had nothing to do with Bo. But I bet you, he was like, we did it. We did it. Hey. Well, while the prisoner is being held, he found an explosive device and he put it around his neck, and he said he'd blow the place up if he wasn't freed. So they let him go. That's the grenade trick.
Starting point is 01:30:18 Just like I taught you. So Boe is determined to get to that prison camp and free those P-O-W. so he and his team leaps but instead of going to the jungle they just hung out in a series of safe houses and a rock quarry these are all owned by Lowe the original grifter guy meanwhile the Bangkok post runs a front page story about Bo's current mission
Starting point is 01:30:49 and because of the story Thai authorities have reason to believe bow has had smuggled in illegal spy radio equipment. Which he had, or he had before, if he didn't this time, he did before, for sure. So his missions, there's no covert nature to any of these missions. Everyone knows. Everyone's talking. That's a problem. I mean, you're on the front page with your covert mission. You would think once burned, you would be like, we got a bat in the hatch.
Starting point is 01:31:23 So here's what I'm thinking. So I know we got burned because we brought in reporters. So this time I'm thinking reporters and sex workers. So we're just going to bring sex workers for this one. Right. Because they don't. They don't say anything. They don't say anything.
Starting point is 01:31:38 They don't have no. Tight-lipped. Absolutely. Well. So the tight government raids one of Lowe's safe houses where they found a blonde woman, a team member, and a shit ton of radio equipment, and they charge them. and Loeb posted their bond. So one of the sex workers got
Starting point is 01:31:57 arrested for having spy radio equipment. Yeah. She was just like, wait, what? Still hiding in a rock quarry, Bo wrote... We never leave a sex worker behind. Still hiding in a rock quarry, Bo wrote a letter declaring that he
Starting point is 01:32:15 had found proof of POWs. He also said he was working with the DIA and CIA, and he handed the letter to a courier to give to the Bangkok correspondent of the L.A. Times and made him tell the correspondent that Bo brought this letter all the way from a secret camp in Laos. What? On the day's team members were supposed to turn themselves in, because obviously the word's out now, Bo showed up, allegedly right from the jungle, to surrender.
Starting point is 01:32:49 But photos taken of the event show Bo as completely clean-shaven and freshly showered. I was at a holiday. I'll be honest. I bear grills did. Nobody thought he was more ready to believe his own defense attorney in a Thai courtroom than Bo Greight's ready to be his own. He's going to be his own. Of course he is checking every box. Yes, every book.
Starting point is 01:33:13 Of course he's going to be his own. If only we could, if I could have a thimble size of the complex, and it's his pan. So he tries to show up in his military uniform with all the medals, right? See that? But the Thai government won't let.
Starting point is 01:33:27 I got a lot of these from killing people. I know. It's not going to help you in a Thai corner. You know, but I guess in retrospect, you guys probably don't love this.
Starting point is 01:33:38 This is for killing some of the people you know. I killed 400 people. Thinking quickly, Bo did the next best thing. Naked. Have Lowe show up to the courtroom with the uniform and paraded around so he couldn't wear it but he had him oh gosh oh come oh well that's mine uh zantic's went on there uh from there he was basically so annoying that the
Starting point is 01:34:01 tight government promised to give up on any other punishments if he just left and never came back no that's their thing they're like you can never come back if you leave and go away forever we will end this uh objection he took the deal in America, there's a media firestorm. He does a tour of national TV shows promising that he'd reveal real evidence of POWs still being held prisoner in Laos. And when asked to produce the photos, Bo said the role of film they were on was undeveloped. And this, I remember, when he can't, I remember this specifically, because he is on all the shows
Starting point is 01:34:47 and he is being talked about as this he's there being he's being treated like a hero instead of what he is which is a fucking what are you doing yeah he's a lunatic everyone's like what's it like so that's the end of part one bo part one is crazy bo returns a military icon a hero but that what the fuck is wrong we are so incapable of anything yeah i mean it is shocking yeah talk shows yeah yeah we we were so primed for trump we were i mean we've just been like it we've just been making it just putting the butter in the pan for it's time yeah it was time yeah god are we seasoned this isn't the only one i'm currently writing one up of another guy that's just like this shit, yeah, sources.
Starting point is 01:35:48 So this was written by Josh and Adrausky. And Revolution of Small Guns by Adam Harfay. Prisoners of Hope by, that's in the San Diego Reader. Prisoners of Hope by Suzanne Katz Keating. Oh, no, I don't want to read that one. That one's on a source yet. It'll be a source in Part 3. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:13 Oh, there you go. There you go. America, we did it. oh my god oh my god hey dollop fans i know you love the dollop you love listening to the dollop do you want to watch the dollop you're like gareth what are you talking about by the way it's not gary it's gareth well we have partnered with lakeside animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes so if you want to go watch a five-partner animation which is actually like a 22-minute
Starting point is 01:36:42 episode or 30-minute episode i can't remember of the rube you can go to lakeside animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube. It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.

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