The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - Phineas Gage

Episode Date: December 9, 2015

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds discuss Phineas Gage, railroad foreman who had an accident. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd will be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th will be in Bridgeport and 26th, the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. Hi. Hi. This is the dollop.

Are you sure? This is a biweekly American History podcast. Each week, I read a story to my friend, Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. God, do you want to look? hit a dude. I'll do one bumble. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gereyre. Steve, okay. Someone or something is tickling

people. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come the Tickling podcast. Okay. You are Queen Faky of Made Up Town. All hail Queen Shit of Lysville. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Three. Hi, Gary.

No. I see that, my friend. No. No. September 13th. 1848. Sure. It's before your time, young and. But what? You weren't alive then. Phineas Gage! Phineas Gage!

Was working as a railroad foreman. The Rutland and Burlington Railroad had hired Gage and his crew to clear away rock near a Cavendish, Vermont. Gage was known to be the best foreman in the area. Sure. A real foreman. One of his jobs as... Foreman, Yeah. Was to sprinkle gunpowder

into blasting holes and then fill the hole with sand or clay packing it in with an iron rod. So... What? Have you ever seen a cartoon? Well, I'm just going to say

that that doesn't sound like a dangerous position. Nope. Right? I mean, you just have gunpowder that you're banging in. As I often like to say on this podcast, what could go wrong? Yeah, what could go wrong? It sounds like he's got it all worked out. So this is called tamping. That's the name the process. Tamping. And is that where we get tampon from?

Yeah. Okay. It's always fun to... That's fucking horrendous. It's always fun to figure it out. Phineas had a blacksmith make him his own personal tamping iron. Oh, so sort of like... So it's like when you're really good at bowling.

Yeah. And you get a dude to make you a bowling ball. Yeah. Right. Or yeah, you're a musician. You have like your customized axe. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The Rod Wade... 13 and 1 quarter pounds and was 3 feet 7 inches long with a diameter of 1 and 1 quarter inches. If you want to know that in metrics, it is booby, blah, blah, blah. America. Okay. Gage was 5 feet, 6 inches tall.

Okay, so his tamping club was almost the size of gauge. Right. It was 4.30 p.m. Let me ask you something. Is it a good sign? we read out the time on Adolph? I understand that, look, normally no, but there could be, you know, you could be like, at 4.30, he realized.

You're right. Well, he hit the tamping rod, and flowers came out. Oh, my God. Flour. Was that even, that's awesome. It was a thing. That's awesome. Here's Jose.

For whatever reason, Phineas was, so as I was writing this, the iPad, the pages document, refused to believe Phineas was a word or name. And so every time I wrote it for this whole story, it changed it to phones. Phones? Phones. And it refused to be like, all right, Phineas sounds good. No matter how many times I said, hey, Phineas. That is the worst when like a spell check is like spell check never recognizes my name.

It should, it's supposed to learn and change. Yeah. A fucking good program, Macintosh is bullshit. And I know I fucking use them, but fuck you. Wow. I mean, these are there's. For whatever reason. Phineas was distracted by...

Peyton Manning and Apple on Dave's fuck-you list. Well, Apple rubbed his ass. No. On Bernard Peter's face. No, Dave. For whatever reason, Phineas was distracted by his crew as he tamped the hole. He turned his head. Ugh.

Never turn your head when you're tamping. I mean, come on. Always do, but never do. I just don't go tamping. There was a spark in the hole, which lit the gunpowder, and the iron rod shot up. and went into Phineas' head. Oh, my God.

It entered below the left cheekbone. Entered? It went through his head? Plowed through an upper molar, then went behind his left eye and into his brain's left frontal lobe. Dave. Dave.

Dave. He's going to be fine. Dave. Dave. Dave. I think he's Phineas. You know what? You just won 2,000,

15's Will Anderson Pund Award It continued through his skull And continued through his skull And out of his head Aren't we supposed to have protective parts Isn't the skull supposed to be? It flew 25 yards away

And stuck upright in the ground It went fully through his head And stuck in the ground 25 feet away And I bet it went borr So what you're saying is that I mean imagine something going 25 feet away and having a bunch of its trajectory taken off of it by a head.

The rod was covered with blood and greasy to the touch. From what? Well, that's the brain tissue. Oh, the brain. I don't know who walked over and touched it. Yeah, well, some guy was like, hey, this pole feels greasy. What do you guys doing? I can't have water.

Okay, four men. And then the only one man could pull it out of the ground. And he was king. He won a Chevy. All right. So, okay. So for those of you just joining us, the tamping rod is too hard, too covered in brain to pull out. And Phineas has had a spike go through his brain.

Finneas fell backwards and hit the ground hard. Oh, good. But he never lost consciousness. He's a fucking man. No. Because he's a man. He's not a fucking Peyton Manning bullshit. No, no.

He's a real man. said he spoke again, I'd have been skeptical. 1848. He stayed awake. It's fucking hardcore. They made American back then. Damar get me aspirin. He twitched a few times. Uh-huh. And then he started talking.

He got up. His first words were I think he wants coffee. He got up and started walking around. What are we doing, boys? How's everybody's wife? Hey, did that thing go through my head? I have a head man.

Oh, I had that mage specially. He was in good enough to kick, good enough condition to climb into an ox cart. Dave. To get driven into town. He sat up for the entire mile long ride. Oh, what? I mean, the dude who's like driving that ox cart is like,

so, that was crazy. What are you been doing today? I go I go with you Okay Yeah Because How are you not dead?

Yeah Yeah I was gonna go with it But then that spike went through My head remember I do Yeah I have a hard time

For getting it Yeah And then we go You and me go to town Yeah We go to town Oh my God The DACA dirt

Fuck I have never wished A fucking Tamping I took out a guy's whole brain before. Oh, I had another thing to say. Oh, shut up. This is my hand. No, wait, this is.

No, wait, both is. God, can we just take the tamping iron and swish it around in there? Hey, speak of tamping iron. Why don't go through my head earlier? Yeah. You were there or no? Okay. Oh.

Okay, I'm going to drive this ox cart into a tree. Oh, I had something else I need to tell you. Yep. This is my hand. Or no, wait, no, wait. dis it. No, it both is. They both is my hand. You're only holding up one. Yeah. No,

I can't hold both up anymore. Hey, remember that Tambi iron? From earlier? Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, what are I going to say about it? You don't have to talk.

Oh. No? Oh, yeah, it went through my head. Dude's like, come on, boys. Move, move, move, ponies. He was taking to the hotel where he was staying. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, it's the 1840s. I guess this is what you do. You take a guy to hotel. That almost came out of my nose. You want to go back to your place? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let him sleep off the tamping iron head wound.

What should we do with him? I mean, maybe just take him to his hotel. Just drop him off. Get him a sandwich and put him in a bed. This is your guy's deal now. Hey, my buddy lost his key and his frontal lobe. So he parked himself in a chair in the lobby and chatted with people. No, what is happening?

Chatted! Hey, what do you guys been doing? Hey, um, I blew up my head. I blew up my head. When the doctor arrived, he could see from outside what he called, quote, a volcano of upturned bone jutting out of his scalp. Oh, my God. He's in the lobby?

There's a medical phrase you don't hear very often. Yeah, a volcano bone? A volcano of upturned bone. That makes the small talk in the lobby. From outside. Not, he's not inspecting him. He was fucking walking outside. He's like, that's a lot of bones.

Somebody had to have a hat. I mean, the least you could do is like sort of put a hat on it. When the doctor walked in, when the doctor walked in, Finnis lowered his head. Morning? So the doctor could see and said, quote,

here's business enough for you. What is he? How about a load of them? What? So he has... Check a little bit of this, how's it? So he has... What you think about this hole.

So he's keeping his sense of... This enough volcano for your, bud? It's kidding. he's having like fun with it. Can I get you a little bit of brain hole? Okay. Phineas. More keeps falling out every time you bow your head like that.

Okay. So what I'm about to describe... Look at Jose. What an angel. Damn fucking angel. What I'm about to describe is going to be the worst thing I've ever read on this podcast. Dave, what the fuck? Why?

The next minute you might want to turn it off. Oh my God. The second doctor arrived was John Harlow. He got there around six people. He had Phineas go upstairs to his hotel room and lie down on the bed. What? At this point, he was still bleeding from his head, which would make sense because there's a giant volcano hole on the top of his head. And then it went through the bottom and out the top.

So there's gauze or some bandages? No, what bandage and gauze you're going to fucking put on that? It's a giant fucking hole. Something? He still bleeding. Harlow shaved Phineas's scalp. and peeled off the dried blood and brains. I'm going to repeat the fact that he peeled off the brains.

He peeled off the brains. Using his fingers, Oh my God. He took out the skull fragments from the wound. The hole was big enough for the doctor to put both fingers in it once. Phineas kept throwing up while this was going on. Oh my God. Because

blood and parts of his brain were going down the back of his throat. Oh, what the fuck? Made him gag. It made him gag. Have you ever had? How is that how, wait, from the... Have you ever had...

Which hole are they putting the fingers? Is he put in the top of it? Yeah, the top hole. So top, he's putting the fingers in the top of the hole. And that's pushing brain fragments down into his mouth. Well, it's making it saucy-ish. And that sauce has got to go down. somewhere so it goes out into your throat

area. You got a couple of holes up there and it slides on down. Slides on down. Oh my God. Brain tends to make you gag when it's in your throat. Yeah, especially if it's your brain. But Phineas remained conscious and calm.

He said it. He thought he'd be back at work in a couple of days. What? Who was he? Who allowed him to even be in the realm of talking like that. Look, he seems, he feels fine. I don't think he'll be back to work in a couple of days. I don't think that he does.

Once he stops throwing up from the brain. Oh, my God. The bleeding stopped around 11 p.m. Which is amazing. That is crazy. That it ever stopped. He's crazy that he's alive. The next morning, his left eyeball was protruding a half inch out.

Is it still working? Well, it's there. That doesn't mean yes. His mom and uncle came to visit Hey, Finney, oh my God! He recognized them. Hi, guys! Hey!

Hey! Hey, Jude! Uncle Bob! Hey, it's me Phineas! Ha! I got so sick from my brain yesterday. Bring it in! Within days, his health started to go downhill. His face swelled.

His brain swelled. Oh, my. Oh my God. And he started losing his mind and rambling. Oh, boy. He got a fungal infection in his brain. Now, part of me feels like that's because the doctor was cramming his fingers in his brain. Sure.

That's a theory. Probably without washing him. Yeah, he was also laying down in a hotel bed for a little while. I've been wiping my ass and cow's asses and then just dragging my hand in the dirt, but let's get them bones out of your brain. Anyway, I figured your nephew's brain. He barely clung to life. Oh, wait. No.

Sorry, I jumped ahead. Got a fungal infection in his brain. He fell into a coma. He's measured for a coffin. Okay. Two weeks later, Dr. Harlow performed emergency surgery. He drained the wound. Two weeks later, he performed an emergency surgery?

Two weeks later. Well... Sounds like we already had an emergency on our hands. He drained the wound by puncturing inside the nose. How does that... Okay. Whatever. Well, he went up in the nose of the brain

And there was like an infection. Okay, sorry. Well, if we're getting into it, there's an infection in the brain. And he poked something through the nasal passage to fucking pop it. I'm getting sick. That explains a little bit more of how the brain chunks were going down his throat for me. Hey, there's something I never thought I'd say. He barely clung to life for weeks.

But then he seemed to turn around and he stabilized. But he could no longer see out of his left eye, which was now sewn shut. So clearly that eye went bad. Yeah, interesting call there. Because they sewed it shut. It must have gone bad and dried up. And they're like, let's close her up. That's the move.

That would be my move. Seems like sweeping under the rug a little bit. Well, that eyes fucked. Stitch it up. Finnis went back home to Lebanon, New Hampshire. There, he walked. around with his tamping iron everywhere. Oh, this is

why we're hearing about this. Okay. This is why. This is why, because this is now where an insane disaster turns into a popular show. He became a celebrity of tabloid magazines. What? Tabloid magazines?

Tabloid magazines is a celebrity. Katie Perry and Phineas, are they? Aren't they? Though many doctors refused to believe the story was true. Dr. Harlow said doctors, quote, refused to believe that the man had risen until they had thrust their fingers into the whole of his head themselves. Sorry.

Sorry. We're coming off of a fungal infection. I know, but... Should we be just... I, sir, don't believe you. And then he takes off his hat, and he leans down, and the doctor shoves his fucking finger in there, and goes, well, I guess I was wrong. Some of the doctors wouldn't believe it was true until they could fuck it.

Dr. Henry Bigelow took Phineas to Harvard Medical School for an evaluation in 1849. There is certainly a hole. I mean, I really do love that it's kind of just, they're just kind of like, well, he's fucked me, so does eyes shut. Give him his tamping iron. Bigelow treated Phineas as an oddity and once presented him at a meeting along with a stalagmite. He's like And gentlemen These are obviously the ones that are on the ground

Now to Shift gears a little bit Here's a man who looks like a stalagmite Went through his head Phineas come on in here He loves fruit I gave him a big thing of fruit He called the stalagmite remarkable for its singular

Resemblets to a Petropride penis And then there's that guy So what I have here is something that looks like a cock and a gentleman. This is a cave dick and a psycho. So, anyway, we getting that grant? How's that going? We're pitching it as a show.

Cave dick and the psycho. But Bigelow declared Phineas was, quote, quite recovered in his faculties of body and mind. Because of the time the test given on Phineas were limited. He was just tested for sensory and most. deficits, since he could still walk, talk, C, and hear. Bigelos said he was fine. But brain injuries of the prefrontal lobes can pass many neurological exams today, let

alone back then. I don't... I know. How is he... How is this happening? Well, the prefrontal lobe doesn't control all that shit. So it's almost like he is just... He almost got lobotomized by a tamping iron...

Yeah, kind of. But there's more... I think there's more brain in there than if you... Got lobotomized. It's just a, it's just like a quarter-sized, I think. Just a quarter-sized chunk. Dave. I did just say that.

We're saying chunk. Okay. Well, it's not even a chunk. It's like a cylinder. It's a brain cylinder. It's a chunk. It's a piece of brain. It's the thing that controls everything.

Right. Yeah. So people, today, memory, language, motor skills, reasoning, intelligence all seem fine. And people who've had frontal lobe injuries. But when they are back in their line, that's when the problems crop up. Often personalities change, family members notice,

but it's not something a doctor would pick up. Harlow really just reported on Phineas' physical condition, but he did say he changed. He was always very determined and focused before the accident, and now he had quick changes of mood and behavior. He constantly dropped plans to do something else and went to do something else at the last minute. He went from being a smart businessman,

to having absolutely no money sense. Went from being a gentleman to, quote, indulging at times in the grossest profanity. I do love the, like, loose, like, he's not good with finances anymore. It's, I mean, honestly. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if you had said to someone when a spear went through his head and he was laying on the ground unconscious,

you know what's going to happen with him, he's just not going to be good with money anymore. Bad with cash. Very bad with cash. And then that's when you're like, if you're his buddy, you're just sitting down, you're like, Hey, Phineas, can I borrow $10? All of it? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And then... Here, you fucking piece of shit. Take it. Well, right. I'll take it. His friend, uh, his friends said Phineas was no longer Phineas.

Okay. The railroad refused to hire him back because of his changed personality. They, honestly, how is, I know. How is he, how is it possible that he almost could go back? back. No, I would say you can't come back because you have a hole in your head. I'd be like, look, honestly, why do you want to cut? You got a hole shot through your head. One question. So you're out there working on the railroad and a bird shits in your hole. Uh-huh. Then what do you do? Uh, a doctor fingers me. Okay. You can't work here. Please. So he did what any man with a hole in his

head would do. He traveled around New England, showing off his hole and his tamping iron for cash. He spent some time in P.T. Barnum's Museum in New York for an extra dime. and people could quote, part gauge his hair and see his brain pulsating. Beneath his scalp. I mean, yep, there's combovers and then there's combovers. Oh, my God. Here you go. Now look at that.

Hold on. I'm going to think real hard. See that? I'm thinking about lots of stuff real hard. That's an extra dime. This is apparently not the life Phineas wanted, and he found work driving a. horse coach in New Hampshire. Who hires him?

I mean, honestly, like, even if he was, even if he was just like, I understand, yes, look, there's a lot going on, but like I said, there's a hole in my head, but I'm ready to work, and I'm excited to come to work. If anyone is ever against Social Security, this is the story. Yeah.

This is the one, because you don't want that guy driving you around. Does this guy be driving a bus? No, no. Over the years, stories of... He just keeps making the same. stopped. People are like, oh God, we stopped here already. All right, Main Street. All right. Main Street. Okay, we're getting off. Hey, I figured you wanted to get off of Main Street. Over the years, stories of Phineas's gauge, stories of Phineas gauge became more and more enhanced. The vast majorities of tales of

his behavior are now considered false. Some said he came, became permissible. Others said not sexual at all. Some say he was easy to anger, and others said he was cold and emotionless. He basically became a crazy guy over the years you could put whatever story onto that you wanted to put on to him. Right. One story said he lived with the iron rod impaled in his head for the rest of his life. Interesting. Another said he would sell the rights to his skeleton to medical school after medical school as he traveled around the country.

I like that version. That's great. That's a fucking TV show And then he solves a crime Yeah, right Yeah, well you guys can have me when I'm gone $250 Right now

After the freak show circuit Finney's worked for 18 months At the horse stable in New Hampshire And then he had... But that's just so... Just think about how Like, you shouldn't be around dirt Like animals kicking up dust Like flies, insects

I assume he wore a hat. Regardless. Like, in any... I mean, there's a hole in his head. Oh, my God. Flies would love a hole in your head. Imagine a fly getting inside your fucking brain. It should happen all the time.

It'd be so itchy. So itchy and loud. Oh, my God. Just hitting his head. Just running around. Oh, boy. A fly got in his brain again. Terry, can you check?

I think there's a moth in my brain. Oh, boy, there is, and he's freaking out. Okay, can you blow? Okay, dokey, Phineas. You can you blow in there? All right, but here we go. Oh, he seems aggravated. He's really flapping.

He's leaving lots of moth chalk on there. Then Phineas headed for South America in 1852. Oh, boy. Okay, this makes sense. So at first you're like, I'll be the guy with the hole in my head. And then you're like, fuck, this is awful. And then you try to go up to New Hampshire, but everyone's like, you're the guy with the hole. And people are probably going like, can I write a guy with a hole?

can I ride in your coach hole in the head guy? He cannot get the fuck away from me. He's like, you know what? I'm going to go to Southern America. I'm going to buy a hat. And I'm going to become a new person. Grow a mustache and nobody's going to know about my pulsing brain. I just have the one eye thing and that'll be like, yeah, I lost it in the war.

Yeah. And instead of doing anything rational with it, they just sewed my eyelid shut. Right. He was seasick the entire trip on the boat. Phineas was headed down to Chile. Just think about seawater splashing. Just splashing in the whole. How do you take a shower?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Right? What if, I mean, he must have like a brain cord. Is it, is it like, I mean, is he cleaning it? I do. Is he cleaning the hole with like a cloth? I, like, does it fucking hurt when he rubs it?

Oh, my, okay, I can answer that one, yes. Okay, so do you, do you have nerves in your brain? Yeah. Or is it just brain? No, you could definitely feel your brain. So he's rubbing, because we have to fucking rub. He'd have to figure out a way to clean it. There's no cute.

I mean, honestly, what we're talking about, is making me feel so sick. The idea... I'm sure a lot of people haven't been here far. And God bless him. The idea that... I mean, imagine, uh, having to clean your own brain hole. Or not cleaning a brain hole.

She's saying brain hole is enough. Shower. I mean, baths. He was just... He was like baths from now on. Yeah, just... It's like a cast. It's like when you have a cast.

It's like, oh, my brain. Guess what? You're going to be thinking about water. for a while. Got to get a fly net. You'll have water on the brain. Yeah, that's what you need. Okay, so there's a gold rush going on in Chile, so he heads down there where he started

driving coaches again. Okay. Just like he'd done in New Hampshire. Sure. This time along a route from Valparaiso, Parisio? Sure. To Santiago. He drove that route for seven years.

Okay. But then his health began failing. He quit in 1859. So he lived a fucking normal life, as normal as can be. He needed that job like he needed a hole in his head. He quit. I was so, I can't believe it took you this long to get there. He quit in 1859 and hopped on board a steamer headed to San Francisco.

He needed to go to San Francisco like he needed a hole in his head. There he convalesed, and after a few months he was feeling better again. Phineas then got a job as a farm laborer. That went well until a rather brutal day of plowing put him back in bed in bad shape. Yeah, what is he doing? The next night, while eating dinner, he had a seizure. Shocking that it has taken this month.

I know, 12 years later, he's having fucking shocking. Finally he's getting to the seizures? Honestly. He must have been saying finally when he was having a seizure. This story should have been all seizures. Dave, Dave, this should not even. This is a man who should have never had a story told about him. True.

He should have died the second that a fucking tamping iron cannon through his brain. This, the seizures Seizure was followed by a series of seizures. His family then brought him home. The doctor bled him. Always safe. Such a, yeah. Didn't work. Can you believe that?

Shocking. One strong seizure then ended his life on May 21st, 1860. He was 36-year-old. He had lived 12 years after having a giant rod impale his brain. He was buried a couple days later, and reports say he was put to rest with his tamping iron. Although another report says he gave up the tamping iron to Harvard Medical School in 1850. Well, he owed them his body, but he was dressed probably like,

here, it's just a tamping iron. No one thought to preserve his brain when he died, so it can no longer be studied as technology advances. Right. But they do have his skull and his tamping iron, which can currently be seen at the Warn Anatomical Museum at Harvard Medical School. Wow.

It's a bit of a stretch to call it a museum. It's two rows of eight foot tall cabinets on the fifth floor. of Harvard's medical library. His skull sits near a life mask of Samuel Taylor Coolridge and stillborn Siamese twins. Good God. The museum curator, Dominic Hall,

often shows the skull and tamping iron to students, and people enjoy hearing the horrific details of his injury. There's just something about him, Hall says. The left eye socket of the skull is jagged. The exit wound has two irregular

holes with a bit of bone between them. The heavy tamping rod is inscribed with Phineas' name, which is misspelled. You only assume he had it done. Scientists have used the skull to create the injury with computer models. Often these models are to

back up their own studies. One study concluded that because of the angle of entry and without his jawbone breaking, that the tamping iron must have entered while he had his mouth open because he was speaking. He was probably going, Fuck!

A study in 2012 modeled millions of possible angles and also came to the conclusion that he was talking. It also said the injury was, quote, much more profound than even we thought. No, it's not more profound than I thought. It's exactly what I thought. It's exactly what I thought. Yeah, it's terrible.

He also said Phineas suffered from something like Alzheimer's after the accident. Oh, whoa. But this is all based on nothing. No one knows. Yeah, because his brain's gone. But ever since he died, doctors and scientists have been combing through his skull, coming up with new ideas of what happened to him.

A guy even wrote a book about... He was combing through his skull when he was alive. He just had to do his hair. A guy even wrote, who wrote a book about how all these guys created their own theories about him, then even created his own theory. What's his?

It's like they're addicts. I didn't even write his... down. His own doctor, Harlow, after learning of his death, wrote to the family. He pester them for details of Phineas' life. And then he talked Phineas's sister Phoebe. Phoebe and Phineas.

To exhumed the body and take the skull off. This was in 1867. He died in, what did we say? This is seven years after he died. The Gage family then brought the skull in tamping iron to Harlow in New York.

Harlow wrote up a report. Jesus Christ, man. We're just taking brothers skull to New York. Hey, we're going to dig it up and bring it to New York. We got free tickets. Anyone want anything from the big city? Harlow wrote up a report and with the details the family had provided about his whereabouts since he left New England. Turns out this was not an easy job.

A coach driver. Okay. A coach driver uses each finger when using the reins and going around a bend and a road is very difficult. So he's got to use a day. different finger for every fucking rain, which is crazy. Yeah. And the trail that he went on was so congested. So he was always making quick stops and having to avoid other coaches at the last second.

As well, he had to memorize the road and know where bandits hung out. It's not the kind of thing a guy who doesn't have a good memory. He does. Yeah. So? In 2010, a researcher found notes from a doctor in Chile who knew Phineas. quote, he was in the enjoyment of good health with no impairment whatsoever in his mental faculties. We now know that the brain can relearn skills it has lost over time, but the process is slow,

which may have been one of the reasons he went to South America to get away from everyone who saw him as disabled. He also had never had to plan his day in Chile. It was set for him, same routine. This is very helpful for those who have frontal lobe damage. But he's still famous as he ever was. He now has a dedicated web page called the Phineas Gage fan club. Wow.

Someone crocheted his skull, not his, someone crocheted a fake. Someone should have crocheted his skull back in the fucking day. Songs have been written about him. There are thousands of videos about Phineas on YouTube, and people continue to unearth new artifacts. In 2008, someone had found a picture of him holding his tamping iron.

Oh, God. He looks, proud, is well-dressed, and is very good-looking. And people have been looking into making a movie about Phineas Gage. Oh, boy. You like that? Yeah, so what? Leo's going to be playing another part?

Well, in one, he falls in love with a Chilean prostitute who rescues him from his life. I don't even know what that means. I don't either. Well, I guess that his life of suffering or... Yeah, okay. Yeah. So she put brain in his head? A different script has him returning to the U.S. becoming friends with a slave,

freeing the slave, and then hooking up with Abraham Lincoln to help win the Civil War. Wow, that's ambitious. There, there he is. Oh, look at that eye. It's like he's flirting with me. Yeah, he is a good-looking dude. And there he is with the tamping around. He was probably a lot better looking when he's...

Had an eye and didn't have a hole through his skull. Yeah, I think that's what I'm thinking. The gruesome story of Phineas... Oh my God, look at that... That... Go bring up those images you just dropped down there. No, now you fucked it all up. I'm sorry. That one, that cartoon one.

Oh, down here? Yeah. Oh, that's like someone... That's not him. Oh, well, it looks like someone... That's a painting from... That guy's also got it bad. Anyway, that's Finius Gage.

Well, that's... Hope you feel good about yourself. Yeah. No, there was definitely some tough... parts. Those people who stuck around. Way to go. I feel weird asking anybody to sponsor on Patreon right now. As you should.

As you should. But if you want to hear more stories like Phineas, please go to the Patreon. Please. Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N. Patreon. You can put a little monthly subscription if you want, if you enjoy the podcast. I'm sorry. Jesus. Who knew?

Oh, hello there, Dahlhead. It's Gareth Reynolds. I want you to join the Gare Force and come and see me do stand up on the road. I will be in Spokane, Washington, February 4th. I will be in Bend, Oregon, February 5th, Portland, the 6th, and the 7th. Then I will be in Bakersfield, California, February 27th for two shows. And then, oh boy, April, here we go. April 19th, I'll be in Albuquerque, Tulsa on April 21st, Oklahoma City, April 22nd,

Dallas, April 23rd. I'm going to try to see a viral chiropractor that day, but that's neither here nor there. I'll be in Tyler, Texas, April 24th. I didn't even know that. I'll be in Houston, April 25th for two shows. I'll be in Austin at Cap City on the 26th. And then the 28th, I will be rounding it out in San Antonio at LOL. Oh, my gosh, and I'll be in Tucson, Arizona.

That's rounding it out. Go to garethrennalds.com for tickets and information. Also prizes. We're giving away a bunch of trucks and stuff over there. If you just log on and legally, that's not binding. But go to garethrethrennels.com. Love you.