The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - The New Jersey Shark Attacks (Live in Los Angeles)

Episode Date: October 6, 2016

Live from the Los Angeles Podcast Festival, Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by the hosts of My Favorite Murder, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

The Dallup will be on tour in March 2026. We are going to be in Buffalo on March 22nd. Then on the 23rd will be in Syracuse. Then on March 24th, we'll be in Boston at the Wilbur. Then on the 25th, we'll be in Bridgeport, and 26th the Gramercy Theater in New York. And then on the 27th, we'll be in Albany. And then on the 28th, we'll be in Pittsburgh. And then on the 29th, will be in Philadelphia.

And then on the 30th, we'll be in Washington, D.C., at the Lincoln Theater. Why would you name a theater after Lincoln? Anyway, that's our March 2026 tour. Go to dolloppodcast.com slash tour for tickets. Now it's time for another podcast, live from the Los Angeles Podcast Festival. What the fuck is this?

My name is Dave Anthony, and I do a podcast called The Dollop. Each week, I read a story from American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be. I don't care for that at all. Okay, let me tell you something. What happened there is a friend of mine who's an award-winning screenwriter, blah, blah, blah, sat Gareth down and said, look, you don't say about at the end of that fucking sentence. I found out about prepositions again.

How many times do you have to learn that lesson? I don't like you learning types telling us how to talk. Yeah. Let's bring up our guests I love their Love their Love their Podcast So if you haven't listened to

My Favorite Murder I cannot I cannot recommend it Sounds like a lot of people haven't listened So These ladies are hilarious Karen Kilgarov

And Georgia Hardstock Who's frazzled Fuck Hi Hi Look at her Yep Hi

Hi The New Jersey Shore Oh, right. I'm just reading my snooky stuff. I don't know about you guys, but I'm already j-wowing. The Jersey Shore was a popular summer resort area. A trip from New York or Philadelphia was

an easy commute to the large hotels and vacation homes. Yacht and tennis clubs and other resorts popped up in places like Spring Lake and Island Heights and Beach Haven. President's U.S. Grant and James Garfield owned large summer homes in the town of Long Branch and in the late spring of 1916

President Woodrow Wilson decided that the summer White House executive offices would be moved to his mansion there. So it's the fucking, it's the shit. Sounds like a great time. It's really good. Sharks! Huh? Sorry, now...

What? I'm what they call a segue doctor. Uh-huh. I'm just laying out the land. landscape. Right? So there's nice houses and now I'm talking about the animal life.

Sharks, at this time, were not considered dangerous. Long ago. Or cigarettes, for that matter. Or hitting babies in the face. Right. It's all fine. Face baby hitting was totally cool.

Totally fine. I don't know what got him, doctor. He's all smushed up again. Back in 1891, A millionaire had offered 500 to anyone who could prove to him that a shark had bitten a human. That is such an amazing mission. You can fucking prove it. I never got word back, so I guess another quitter.

19 in a row. He was so sure sharks were his friends that he once jumped in the water with a shark during a party at his home to prove it. And the shark swam away. Wait. Dolphin. There was a dolphin. It was a drunk guy. It was not a shark.

And the shark was like, ah, I'm good. Many, not all scientists of the day believe sharks were harmless. Reports of American shark attacks. Go ahead. Karen's got something. Yeah, go ahead.

Thank you. Questions? I'm not a scientist of today or any day, but they have rows and rows of teeth. And they're not just teeth shaped like ours. They're pointed teeth. Not for people, though. for like fish.

And plants. If they saw a person, they'd be like... Shoot the shit out of that seaweed. Yeah. But if they saw a person, like an otter, they'd be like, well, that looks good. But a human, they'd be like, oh, you look smart. I love smart people.

Yeah. Sharks are down with people. Reports of American shark attacks were often dismissed as fishermen's tales. You fucking fishermen. I'm telling you, he ain't half my crew. They're all dead! Goddine up, Goddammit!

Oh, tall tales. He's doing it for attention again. I'm not, and they're all dead! My boy's dead! Here we go again. Oh, this guy. Good Lord. My lord.

In April 1916, the Brooklyn Museum of Science had put out a bulletin explaining that scientists were interested in sharks, but little was known about them, as no comprehensive study had yet been done. That's a big bulletin. Indeed, little was known... Scientists, now give a shit.

Everyone, everyone, breaking, breaking. Sharks are now interesting. Indeed, little was known about the shark. Dr. Frederick Lucas, director of the American Museum of Natural History, said, quote, one of the commonest statements is that the shark bit off the man's leg

as though it were a carrot. Certainly, no shark caught off of New Jersey could possibly perform such an act. moreover, a shark is not particularly strong in the jaws. Uh-huh. Yep. No reason to think that.

Nope. Nope. This is why you should never ever. Yeah. Ever. Ever. I remember my own disappointment. Shouldn't have said jaws, obviously. That's a big, that's the landmine word he hit there. I remember my own disappointment at witnessing a 12-foot

shark trying to cut a chunk out of a sea lion. The sea lion had been dead a week and was supposedly tender, the shark tugged and thrashed and made a great to-do over each mouthful. A rumpf. Wait, what did you say? A rumpf.

That was the shark? No, that was me. I was helping out. But wait, who's doing that? So the guy, the scientist, said he watched the shark try to eat. Oh, so he's like, that's him let down. Yeah, and he's like, look at how shitty he isn't eating that thing. Look at him.

It's not a picnic. Eat it already. Just bite the thing. He's putting on. Bibbon. Bye, God. I'm a shark. I'm bad sharks.

That's you. Well, the case is closed on this one. We've seen enough. The American Museum scientists actually cited the millionaires jumping in the water with a shark as scientific evidence that made any sharks

did not exist. Yeah. No questions there. So the belief was that sharks were just not much of a threat to people. Talk about playing into the shark's hand. Yeah, no, we don't give a fuck about you guys. On July 1st, 1916, 23-year-old Charles Vincent was at the Beachhaven resort with his family.

Before dinner, he decided to go for a swim in the ocean. Before he did, he played with a big dog on the beach, yelling at it and splashing water. So a few minutes later, when he started really screaming, everyone thought he was playing with the dog. Obviously. So it was like, go, come on, big fella, come on to. They were like, boy, they are really getting into it out there, huh? What kind of fetches that?

It's so loud. I think he threw his arm for him. I think the dog has gills. What a game. Oh, man. He loves dogs. underwater on land Hey, why's the dog here?

There's probably two with the same dog. Of course it quickly changed with the continuing screaming. One of his sisters said, quote, Everybody was horrified to see my brother splashing about in the water as though struggling with a monster under the surface.

He fought desperately, and as we rushed toward him, we could see great quantities of blood. The lifeguard, Alexander Ott, was one of Charles' friends. he said, quote, I saw a big shark still biting him. Charles was swimming in a pool of blood. When he got up onto the beach,

I saw that his leg was badly injured and blood was pumping into the sand. I don't think you can do that for very long. Seven hours, Mac. Back then, though. Everyone had really strong irony, blood. A woman who was close by tore the skirt off her bathing suit

and made a tourniquet. Poor, poor! While you do, do that, imagine this time when all the guys are like, Jesus Christ! We got to get more sharks out here. I think she's got a crush on me.

Or she's trying to strangle that sea dog. All the flesh on the back of Charles' left thigh was stripped from the hip to the knee. Oh, he must have smelled your dog! The bone was exposed. Mm. Yes. That's, I don't know.

I don't know if you guys are doctors, but that's bad. Also, keep the dog away from this one. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you can't get away from him. He had a giant gash on his other leg. People who saw the sharks that it was holding on to Charles' leg in just 18 inches of water. It was black at about nine feet long.

It also had a very large dorsal fin. A ship's captain who was there. said he'd never seen a shark like this in the area. Charles died at 6.45 p.m. He lived for... He would have been dead anyway, probably, guys. I know. Remember the part where his bone was sticking out?

Yeah. Yeah, that was not a good sign. No. Was it related to the shark attack? Yes. It was. I wasn't sure if it was. Or the dog! Yeah.

He died from loving that doggy too much. Not a doctor, no. This was the first recorded shark... shark attack fatality on the east coast of the United States and somehow there is very little coverage in the New York and New Jersey papers the New York Times put the story on page 18 bury that

the article said Charles was quote badly bitten in the surf on Saturday afternoon by a fish presumably a shark fish was repreated twice more in the article it's a fish fish shark fish shark situation

The Fish Commissioner of Pennsylvania Wait a minute I said it I said it and it's a thing He has to be called the co-fisher Does that not come up? I don't know I'm the commissioner of fish

You know sir I could save us a lot in print ads You know what? Hear me out Mr. Cuffisher A what? What did his office smell like?

Do you want to meet at your office? I got a bunch of carp on my... Yeah, come on, come here. Come here, I'll open the windows, get the fans going. So many people brought him candles every time. I have a bunch already. I was thinking of you. Oh, kelp, this will be great.

The Fish Commissioner... He needed some chitras spray. The only spray of Podfest. Poopery. The Fish Commissioner said, quote, I do not believe there is any reason why people should hesitate to go in swimming at the beaches for fear of man-eaters.

Information in regard to the shark's is indefinite, and I hardly believe that Van Zant was attacked by a man-eater. He was in the surf playing with a dog, and it may be that a small shark drifted in at high water and was marooned by the tide, being unable to move quickly and without food. He had come in to attack the dog and accidentally bit the man in passing. Classic shark. That's Occam's razor right there. It's just so clear what happened. It's so obvious what happened. My God.

He didn't attack a man. He was marooned and thought it was a dog. I'm the coefficienter. Do I have to do everything? He's got a clothespin on his nose. Sorry. I forgot. I was out.

Sorry. Sorry. The confissioner. On an all-new coefficienter. On the next cofissioner. On a very special coefficient. That's not a halibut. on a five-part cofisher

on the series finale of cofisher previously on the cofisher Independence Day was coming and no one wanted it ruined thousands of people from the so selfish immediately well we don't want our holiday ruined this fucking asshole without legs

by these fish thousands of people from the tri-state area were expected to pour in on trains At the same time, sea captains entering the ports of Newark and New York were telling stories of large schools of sharks off the Jersey coast. Beach Haven... They don't go to school, silly fishermen. Good Lord. I'm a captain.

My family was eaten by those sharks. Here we go. Okay. All righty. Beach Haven placed wire netting 300 feet from the shore along the entire length of the beach. But July 4th was fine. July 6th, however, was not good. Bellboy Charles Bruder was floating on his back in the water at Asbury Park near this Sussex Hotel.

Yep, I'm assuming he had the little hat on. He was blowing water straight up and it was coming down on two sides. Wearing a fish outfit. Like the idea that you're floating there like, shocks don't like people. Let me just lay out like this. People nearby. It's another dog! People nearby saw a shark quickly heading toward him.

It's Finn above the service, and then Bruder went under. A woman standing near the lifeguards pointed out to where Bruder was and said that a man in a red canoe had overturned. But that wasn't a canoe. No. That was blood. Wait, our canoe is made of liquid. Because then it could have been a canoe.

It was in a plasma red canoe. that guy's water canoe crashed and he never even had an oar officer it's so much denial it's making me sick Bruder then screamed so loud it was heard three blocks away Charles then leaped out of the water

revealing his right leg was gone above the knee and blood was squirting out then he fell back into the water as the shark came round and made another run now a crowd of hundreds is watching a bellboy being eaten by a shark. Oh, no.

You're like, stop barking. You think you're a dog. Where's our luggage? We didn't even tip him.

He's being eaten by the shark, but he still has that hat on. Yes. That's the whole, he holds on the whole time.

Don't please. Don't. To do. I won't abandon the bench. This time, his left foot was bitten off

below the ankle. Then a nearby boat came over and pulled Charles in quickly. He passed out. And as he lay dying... He got a hell on the head.

As he lay dying, this is what he was supposed to have said. Quote, The shark was a big gray fellow, and as rough as a sandpaper. I didn't see him until after he struck me the first time. He cut me here on the side, and his belly was so rough. It bruised my face

in arms. That was when I yelled the first time. He stepped my left leg off there, only turned and shot back at me. That time I thought he had gone on, but he bit me just below the knee, and he yanked me clear under before he let go. I had hardly reached the service when he came back at me again.

That time, he bit me in the side. An awful blow. And he shook me like a terrier shakes a rat. Yes, this is how I talk in times of dying. He's a dog now. But he let go while I

was calling, then suddenly struck at me again, and this time took off the other leg. He's a big fellow. when he's awful hungry. So he did a one-man show as he lay dying. Gentlemen, I will do my last soliloquy. Really, you should take it easy. Don't, you're breathing and talking too much for a dying person.

I'd be fine. All he really said was fuck this. And the newspapers just made it sound like. Yeah, they went with it. They just went with the story. What happened on my leg? And that changed over time. Fisherman's tales.

You know how they are. They do. as they do, I still keep in touch with the shark. He's a close friend. Then Charles died. Wait, what? How did you not see? So wait, wait.

How are you moaning like you didn't see that coming? Here's why. Because he gave that statement. Which seems so like, it seems like years later he said that. I think that maybe a reporter made some stuff up. What? I think he, he also could. could have just been looking death in the face and you just got really philosophical.

When I'm out of blood, without legs, I get very eloquent. I don't know, I get all in my head. I don't know what it is. Might be the loss of blood, but I'm going to cut to the chase on this. I haven't much time. Goo. Can you get the light a little on me more? Here we go.

So when doctors got there, the hotel manager asked that they hold off examining the body and instead attend to the many women who had fainted and vomited when they saw Charles were made. Ladies, keep it together. Ladies. We've got a biggest situation. Women are worried. God damn it. We've lost a bunch of luggage tickets as well.

It's a real kerfuffle. I know a man's dead. That guy has a bow tie on, doesn't it? Absolutely. You can hear it. I will sacrifice any for this establishment. Nothing happened. He removed his legs.

There's nothing to see him. Tend to the women with wet rags. Put them on their heads, cool them down. They're all worried sick. A round of lemonade's for everybody. Now tell him to go swim in the Red Sea like normal customers. Teller, Chapman, we have brought the Red Sea to you. Eating into this catastrophe, gang.

Now who's with me? I know a good pal of ours is dead, but who's with me? Hey, let's show off these limbs, gang. When you stay here, you're dealing with four limbs. And then he invented the hokey-pokey. Show these fucking things. Let's hotel's my life. I guess where I misstepped was the shark attack day, huh?

I may return my bow tie. Top hat, too, sir? The top hat I was hoping to keep. That is the hotels. I've said it to people before, but it resonates truly now. Off for a swim, I guess. Covered in meat juice. Sorry, was that out loud?

On July, the Philadelphia Evening Public Ledger wrote, Shark Hunt is on as panics... Shark hunt? Whoa. Sir. Sir, that is exactly what I said. Sir. He was.

eaten by the Sharks cut. Just like Pinocchio with the whale, but way weird. Shark hunt is on as panic spreads along New Jersey coast. Motorboat patrols hunt man-eater that killed two. Beaches are deserted.

300 bathers fled the beach shortly afternoon today when a fid suddenly cut the water 20 feet beyond the guard poles. All the bathers reached shore in almost a minute. All day long, rumors would sweep through the seaside towns that sharks had eaten another victim. Still, some refused to believe a shark was responsible.

There's always some. Jonathan Treadwell Nichols, assistant curator at the department... Johnny Nichols here. At the Department of Recent Fishes. No. No. It's not... Why lie, Dave?

The point is that you're talking about history. It's fucking insane. One day some guy just walked in and go, God damn it, what happened? so many recent fishes we need a department. How are we going to keep track of them? Well, let's open a new office. The coefficienter.

On a musical coefficient. So... I'm dying. From fish. So Treadwell Nichols examined the body of Charles Bruder and said it clearly had been an orca because a shark would not kill a person. It's! on July 8th, two days after...

Only when the movie Jaws came out, did we realize that sharks will kill people? 1916, they came around. Okay. On July 8th... It's not a good answer. No, I mean... This is a dollop after all. On July, two days after the death of Charles Bruder,

Dr. Frederick Lucas, and other scientists had a press conference at the American Museum in Manhattan. They said there was, quote, a great unlikelyhood of a repeat attack. Reporters asked if the scientists could assure the safety of swimmers. The scientists said wire netting that had been installed would prevent attacks. Dr. Lucas was then asked about the possibility of, quote, a beast other than a shark being the cause of the fatalities. Other reporters asked about the possibilities of a killer mackerel.

Oh, how cute would that be? Oh, my God. You can eat me all day, little guy. Adorable. Are this the manicure fish? Oh, no. He's still going. He won't stop going up.

My leg is gone. Okay, it's not funny. I will say my leg is not there anymore, but, oh. Hey, mackerel. I didn't like this tattoo anyway. Just take this leg. So light. They also asked about gigantic murderous sea turtles.

Well, to be fair. And, of course, German U-boat torpedoes. Oh, boss. Yeah. It's World War I. It's 1960. So it easily could have been a torpedo that took off that man's leg

and then came back and took off his foot. It's the magic torpedo. Check the brooder film. The Germans, it's Germans, they make those really specific torpedoes. Very specific. They're boomerangs. They come back. Other experts chimed in in the papers.

One wrote, The Bruder incident was not only a once-in-a-lifetime freak occurrence, but such a tragedy could not happen again. The Coast Guard superintendent described sharks as, quote, timid as rabbits. Oh my God. What is this man's name? I'm sick of this. He went on to explain that he used

to often swim with schools of sharks in Cape May, quote, if they got too close, you'd just throw a clam at them. I hope he means money. Wait, was that quote from SpongeBob Squarp pants? Just throw a clam at him. Tip them So motorboat patrols were begun And the boats were equipped with rifles, harpoons, and axes

It was believed that the loud exhaust from the boats Would frighten away any shark Mesh wire nets Started enclosing all swimming areas But the resorts were still worried about a drop in vacationers Especially after a few swimmers Would not go into the water after the attacks At a suntan though, man

Come on, I know, right? There's a lot of ways to vacation Yeah The resorts thought their loud boat chugging back and forth would assure the swimmers, but it seemed not to. It was suggested that the... Look, we're riding a boat! Get in the water! It was suggested the resort...

We've done everything. It was suggested the resort cities pooled their money and hire professional shark catchers. The Washington, D.C. Herald, quote, A score of boys and girls were swimming in New York Bay, New Jersey, yesterday, when a shark about 12 feet long appeared off the dock. Somebody yelled, it's a shark. And the children ran for sure.

Two policemen were nearby and one emptied his revolver into the water. Do you mean he shot at it? Or he was like, take these bullets! I panicked. My training did nothing. I just... I just... I feel nauseous.

I'm not supposed to give the shark the bullets. Right, right. That's right. Because they have the torpedoes. I get it. Boy, you dream about a moment your whole life, and then... Woo! Some of the shot hit the shark's head because it seemed stunned for a moment,

then it turned around and disappeared. At Asbury Park, a shark entered the swimming area, and the captain of the lifeguards said he hit it twice with an oar. And then the shark swam off. The beach was closed. One Ted Brown at Spring Lake said he saw a shark, and quote, let flat with a rifle. He said the bullets merely skidded off the shark's back

and that the fish appeared more pleased than otherwise. That's just so crazy. He seemed like he was smiling. I heard him laugh. He was waving his little fin at me sarcastically as he swam away. Well, he said it was flirting its tailabout and fucking swimming. Flirting its tailabout and turning bright side.

As it... What was that came from? I'm not sharks. More bullets. Huh? Keep putting them in me. Don't tell my shark hubby. They put even more mesh wire

around the resort swimming areas on the Jersey Shorts. They got their idea. Throw mesh wire at this problem. Just need more wire. And they made sure everyone knew. One ad read, Come down and laugh at the sharks.

We have enclosed our bathing area with reinforced steel nets. Oh, my God. It's laugh at shark time, people. Yes. Come here. Love is happy. Humans think that they have a swimming area

Right? The fucking ocean. Well, yeah, it's not a great idea. Well, we put a couple of boats out there, and now this is ours. Who speaks shark? Okay. On July 12th in the morning, a retired sea captain named Thomas Cottrell was in the town of Matawan.

He was on a bridge when he saw a dark gray shape about eight feet in length heading up the Matawan Creek with the tide. Cottrell used the bridgekeeper's phone called the town barber shop where the town barber slash chief of police was. Slash drunk. Yep. For sure drunk.

We're sure drunk. Ice barber cup. Yes, we've got a shark down here. Do you want to cut? No, don't be the barber right now. We need you to be the sheriff. $2 off. All haircuts is for sharks.

Listen to me. Oh, my God. No, no, no. Well, we're cutting sharks. Sorry? Did you just say welcome to sharks? Yeah! Listen, sheriff, be the sheriff. And come down here and deal with the shark. Don't be the barber.

Can I do siren stuff? We've got an underwater man who needs his mutton chops trim. Oh. Oh. Oh. With a gun. Oh, wait. Oh. Yeah.

Ha. On a very special crossover episode of the conficioner. Barber cop. Oh. We're from hair, PD. I was just cutting hair. I'm the confessional. I don't stand for this.

Now take a handful of tuna and get out of here. This never happened. After hitting Cottrell, the chief just dismissed him, thinking Cottrell was seeing things because everyone was freaked out about the sharks. There were other people in the barbershop, and when they heard what Cottrell was saying, they started to laugh out loud

and make fun of him, asking if the heat and humidity was making the old man see sharks. Yeah, happens. That is the side effect of humidity. One in front of me at Rows today. It's hot. It was so hot today. I saw like nine sharks. I saw a bunch of sharks.

Saw a bunch of sharks. Can't wait for it to cool down. See humans again. Anywhoos'll be. I shot Bob with a harpoon. I read about that. Yeah, it was hot. Yeah, yeah. All right.

shark buddy you're a shark to me one guy laughed and said quote you have a better chance seeing an elephant cooling off down there than a shark but what about the other sharks I don't it's very Jersey's a hard place to explain

Catrell hung up and decided to warn people on his own he took his motorboat and docked at Main Street where he started running from store to store telling people that he'd seen his sharks so that really did happen people would go to Main Street and just be like, everyone, there's an attack! But in this case, it's a weird one.

It's a guy running up and down the street on land going, shark! Shark! What about on the beach? Get out of the stores! Finish your purchases very quickly. Is the store closing? There's a shark in the creek.

God damn! Anything over 30! I'm going to keep shopping. So he's running from the store to store, and no one's believing him. Because they didn't believe, they still didn't believe that sharks bit people. They're still like, not a shark.

You must be thinking about a turtle or a mackerel. So, later that... Now, you told me there was a big turtle in the water. I'm listening. Later that morning, Johnson Carton and his friends were having a good time in the creek. Quote,

we were swimming over near the Wycoff dock. We swam in that water when it was so dirty every day we swam there. That's what he said. That was his quote. So he's not a smart one. Might have some parasites.

I think he's about to ride in the big red canoe. I need to ruin it for you. He's in the big red canoe in the sky now. Orless. So they saw the shark go by. and then they also went and tried to warn others but no one would listen to them.

A sharp coming up the stream? Crazy. It's crazy talk. Later, six kids were swimming in the Motawan Creek when they saw the dorsal fin of the shark. One of them shouted, quote, Lester's gone! That was because 12-year-old Lester was gone. The shark had dragged Lester still underwater.

The boys all dashed out of the creek, still nude and covered in mud, and ran off screaming. Sorry, they were nude? I mean, it's not that we need to know that, but that is a new detail. The beginning part. It's never mentioned. Okay.

So they were all nude. So they're nude. Lester got taken. Lester got taken. They're all nude. And now they're nude running around the street. They're little muddy dongs are swinging. And they're screaming, a shark got Lester as they ran into the town.

That's what that kid was talking about when he was talking about swimming around in dirty water. Yep. Yeah. It was a metaphor. Local newspaper report Quote Workman rushing to the bank from a nearby factory began a search for the missing boys remains

Nets were stretched and Hardy Swimmers jumped into the water Now at this point you might be asking Why people are jumping into the water When there's a shark Let's throw human bodies at this problem Nets and human bodies Very easy to explain and that a lot of people still didn't believe

it was a shark. They thought Lester had an epileptic attack. Sure. By the way, where the kids were playing, where Lester was, 16 miles inland. What is the shark doing? It's a fucked up shark.

It's a fucked up shark is what it is. So he's just straight up creek swimming. He's just swimming in... How does he's like... He was like, man, I'm going to find a tender boy no matter how long it takes. Oh my God, a bunch of nudie. I just wanted one without underwear

This is an embarrassment of sharp riches Come with me, Lester You know how when you get the swimming costume stuck on your teeth You gotta get a naked one, that's fine I will say I have mud jaw But One of the

One of the He was described as the huskiest workmen Who jumped in the water To look for Lester was Stanley Fisher 24. More than 100 people were gathered watching and while Stanley was in the water with the other man looking

for young Lester's body, the shark reappeared in the middle of all the searchers and bit the flesh from Stanley's right thigh. The big bone was bared from hip to knee. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's a... Sorry, I'm thinking. That was super evil. And oddly reminds me when we dated.

Me too. Me too, Dave. A doctor said Stanley's wound was, quote, wide, jagged laceration, measuring approximately 18 inches, spanning from below the hip to just above the knee. He also said around 10 pounds of tissue had been removed. I don't know how you measure that.

Put your other leg on the scale. It's quite a difference. But you've lost weight for bikini season. His femur was exposed and scratched by the teeth and his femoral artery was severed. Not good. Nope. Captain Cortrell.

How to look, Doc. Yes. Captain Cortrell, I'm assuming after staring everyone in the eyes for a very long time, Just walking around and looking everyone Remember? Yeah Are that?

Back and forth? I'll call the plumber slash coroner. So he went back out on his motorboat. I'm a nurse milkman. Happy to be a service. Some skim? He went back on his motorboat to warn other creek swimmers

that there was a really big creek shark. Creep? But that was no help for 14-year-old. A creep shark? A creep shark? Like young nude boys. Bit of her fetishist. Hey. I only eat the little young ones.

Get out of here, creep shark. Boy, I hate that he even talks. I hate that guy. I'm not a creep. It's natural. It's not natural. It's illegal. They want to be eaten. Can see in her eyes.

A creep shark. creep But this wasn't any help for 14-year-old Joseph Dunn He was swimming with friends About a quarter mile away downstream From the Stanley attack His friends pulled him out of the shark's mouth The calf of his leg was completely bitten off

It was reported Stanley said to the doctor quote I found the boy on the bottom I got Lester away from the shark Anyhow I did my duty Bye Bye Well, piss out.

See you. Good to meet everybody. Then he dropped his mic. And said, fuck all y'all. Stanley died at 7.30 that night. But he was missing 10 pounds of meat. Joseph, the fortigno boy, said, quote, I was about 10 feet from the dock ladder

when I looked down and saw something dark. Suddenly I felt a tug like a big pair of scissors pulling up my leg and bringing me under. One of those scissors? What you're cutting down there, doggy? Just another dog with scissors underwater. Oh, these gift-wrapping dogs. Fisher friends.

I felt as if my leg had gone. I believe it would have swallowed me. I felt my leg going down the shark's throat. That's not true. That's not true. That's a lie. It's a child's line. So let's stop for a moment and realize this fucking kid's a liar.

It's lost a lot of blood. Joseph lived in New York City and would not give reporters his address because he didn't want his mom to know about the shark attack that had removed half his calf. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How do you...

You know, she's not going to be able to see if I just wear pants. Well, they were okay with hitting kids in the face back then so his mom would just got pissed and hit him in the face probably for a minute. Yeah, he probably, why don't you have a calf?

What have you been doing at the beach? I sold it to buy you flowers, mom. Gosh, I'm sorry. Oh, I didn't realize it was like that. So there was no TV or radio, so people came down to the area where the tax had occurred to see what had happened, and so just whole family's milling about.

It's like their evening news sort of situation. Picnicking, chatting. Now, let's go for a swim. Yeah. The town residents went bug fuck. They got, quote, a hefty supply of dynamite, shotguns, harpoons, rifles,

garden hose, ice picks, axes, pitchforks, and even hammers. The order is weird. No one got any clams. Clams. Come on. Come on. These people are not reading.

They're not reading. That's fishing 101. Throw clams at you ischa. So they have garden hose and dynamite? Hey guys, do we need the hose? We have dynamite. I like my hoe. All right, Grandpa.

He doesn't mean the device. By that, he did to mean, there were 15 nets installed in Matawan Creek. Got to get those nets. Underwater blasts of dynamite could be heard for miles. The town net guy was like, boy, this is a great summer. He was secretly throwing. Yeah. He was going to buy the hotel.

Oh, here's a net. He's chumming the waters when no one's looking. Mr. Nets. He was up to snow good. It's just me, Mr. Nets. Guiding the shark up that river for 14 miles. Come on. Come on, buddy.

Here we go. Up here's a bunch of new little boys. You're going to love it, Sharky. Keep moving, pal. Hey, kids, want to meet a real life, fish? Take your trucks off. You're my best friend. Mr. Nets.

The mayor... The mayor... Followed by the season. finale of Coffichener again. We swear this is the last episode. I'm waiting for the crossover. Coffichina takes on Mr. Nets. Yeah. He's the only one that could take him down.

That's right. You get out of this town, Nets. Your time's through, Coffichler. Guest starring, Barber Cop. Yes. He gets to be there, too. All right. I'm here to keep peace or whatever. You're Nats. Stop. I'm looking at the fish guy. I'm looking at a dartboard.

Sorry. Did you just whisper sex? Yes. God damn it. What the hell is going on? On an all-new Mr. Netskefisher drunk barber car. I want to be the commissioner. Are we even filming anymore?

What's happening? The Monmouth Ocean Atlantic and Burlington County Congressional District offices in Washington were flooded with letters demanding federal to keep swimmers safe from sharks. The meteor action was as expected. Headlines. Tigers of the sea. Sharks seek prey off city beaches.

Sharks not alone, scientists think. Naturalists not... They've got bodies. They've got pals out there. They got the chicken of the sea with the tigers of the sea and everyone's fox. And they've learned how to use our nets against us. Not my nets.

Mrs. Nets. Sorry, I haven't been home a lot lately, honey It's okay, I'm taking care Not you My wife, Mrs. Netsch Why are you even here? Are you taking our grill pit? I'm ready to cut some hair in?

Nobody wants your goddamn haircut You're on a rest For what? You're a shit man Oh my God Honey, I can't keep doing this Hey I just wasn't wondering why I'm here

You shit-faced You're at the net residence You can tell by the doors Okay, because I was stuck in him for a week Is someone call it a fishing ready to ride People People came forth with ideas Which is always good

Okay now Of these three people No one is going to like this idea. A fisherman who had experience in the tropics said they could exterminate big fish by using cats as bait. No, no, no.

That's the original catfishing. We aren't fish at all! We really need... That's when we need an Elvis. He's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. Another man believed a hurricane had pushed the shark snor. Others believed it was...

Are these serious... Is this... Is this legitimate ideas? Higher a hurricane? No, no. You're private with cats. Not an idiot. Hello, hurricane.

Seed to hurricane with cats. That would be amazing. Yeah. I would love that. That would be the best just cats flying by. Pick one you want? Yeah, you get like, I have nine.

Some believe the hurricane It pushed a shark north and he would leave Others believed it was all of New York City's garbage That was luring the sharks They thought a hurricane pushed him north Or they wanted a hurricane to push a? No, no, no, they're not... Oh, they're not crazy, you're right, yeah, you're right.

Sorry, Dave. I'm in there. Just throw some nets in the water. In the garden house, over there. And cats and dynamite. We're not out of our minds. We're not trying to move a hurricane. But others thought that New York was dumping so much garbage in the bay

that sharks were like, there's food. Treasury Secretary William McAdoo phoned President Wilson. Macadu was in Spring Lake. He wanted the president to mobilize the U.S. Coast Guard and dispatch a federal agent to the shore to organize a, quote, battle against the man-eaters. President Wilson met with his cabinet to discuss the shark's situation. It was an election year, and the loss of tourist dollars was hurting the area.

the White House vowed to, quote, drive away all the ferocious man-eating sharks which have been making prey of bathers. Bathers. So the White House is in. The Washington, D.C. Sunday Star, quote, a battle is on, and the battle is between the man-eating shark and Uncle Sam.

For the first time in history, a fish has become such a menace to the safety of the citizens of the United States that the federal government finds it necessary to turn its attention to it. Never before has it turned upon a regiment of fish. Isn't the problem with us that we just, we don't believe in anything,

and then when it's there, we just freak the fuck out and just overdo it? Like, there's not a problem with anything. There is, let's drop a bunch of bombs on the fuck. You're like, whoa, buddy, can we talk? What just happened to you? Just like a crazy temper. One person's like, just don't go in the water.

Ha! What? Huh? Huh? Uncle Sam needs to swim. I'll tell you one thing. Uncle Sam can't get eaten by a shark. These colors don't run.

Unless they're red and they're in the canoe. They're everywhere. The plasma canoe, which we've all seen. Yeah, blood, blood canoe? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that runs. Huh?

That runs. Yeah. Well. Ha-ha. Okay. Point is. Yeah. We got a flag.

So Uncle Sam will adopt a novel weapon of warfare That has not been put into operation By the seeming all-knowing belligerents across the sea He is going to fight his new enemy, Sharks. The Coast Guard is stretching heavy steel nets To enclose the swimming spaces. This system is used successfully in Australia

Where the Shark Menace is a seasonal affair And not an accidental or unusual one As is effective there, it should be effective here. The Coast Guard service says that dynamiting the sharks would be futile. You know, you're in a good place when dynamite's a verb. What dynamite in? Unfortunately, many of the schools of edible fish would also be killed.

Treasury Department officials say that steel nets are Uncle Sam's only possible action against the sharks. At the Museum of Natural History, the shark experts, including Dr. Lucas, issued a statement. People are saying that the ship sinkings and sailor deaths in the North Sea are creating a shark craving for human flesh. Some are saying that the forceful naval bombings are driving dangerous European sharks across the Atlantic.

It's the Germans! It's the fucking Germans! So skittles sharks that are coming over here. Not me promise. The American sharks, we swear to God. I'll be like cheeseburgers, all the shit. It's just like, yeah, we're from Idaho. So it's like, whatever.

That's where. my family is, show. Dr. Lucas said that it was, they believed it was just one shark that had strayed thousands of miles from its environment. So great. I mean, never right. No.

They're not dangerous. It's just one crazy one, everyone. Fear not. We're not idiots. We're scientists. Dr. Lucas also told the story of a guy who had been swimming in New Jersey. He called for help and was clearly in distress. There were a lot of people nearby, and two guys went to help him. But then someone yelled,

A shark has him. At that point, everyone dashed out of the water and watched the guy drown. There was no shark. It's lucky to be that guy. I sharded. That's what I'm saying. Why would you yell that?

I'm breaking. And drowning. Logotown meetings were held. All towns wanted the netting. If the work were not done on the fence netting and anything should happen, the glaring headlines of newspapers would make the council members feel small enough

to get under a thimble. The mayor of Madawan was sent tons of ideas of how to deal with the shark. We're going to build a net. Mexico is going to pay for the net. He's going to pay for the net. We're going to build an unbelievable net. And we're going to make the underwater sharks pay for it.

We're going to make the king of sharks pay for it. for it. They're not getting the right deal. Trust me, I know how to talk to the sharks. I talk to the sharks all the time. My best friend's a shark. He's tremendous. He's an unbelievable shark.

He's such a shark. You're not even going to believe him. You only believe this guy. And then it's him in a shark outfit. I'm the best friend of him. He's the best. He couldn't be in the same room at the same time as me. But as far as humans go, he's number one. Super healthy. You're going to love him.

Australia's leading female swimmer wrote that, quote, The shark is at heart an utter coward and will flee at the slightest disturbance if he's well fed. A letter... Just carry a bunch of meat on you when you're swimming.

Okay, hold on, buddy. Let me get it off. Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not the treats. Twelve-year-old boy was just a fucking snack for him. He's like, I need a... Great a movement. who's bush, I'm going to eat you now. Oh, God.

Who will I tell my lesson to? A letter came from Michigan. Dear sir, many years ago, I had a friend in the island of Barbados whose hobby was shark hunting. Whenever he found a dead horse or mule, he would mutilate the carcass and then have four blacks towed out into the bay.

Invariably, sharks would attack the carcass, and he would shoot them with a rifle from the stern of a boat. It's quite inexpensive. and racist as well. Go ahead, yeah. Did you say blacks? I said blacks, yeah.

But yes, ma'am. When does this story turn positive? Oh, it's a dollop right now. A woman in Denver wrote, My father, a native of the West Indies, suggests the following. Construct a raft, capable of floating a dead horse, partly submerged,

and anchor it in the vicinity of the shark. then locate your motorboats within an easy range. This floating object unfailingly draws man-eaters and no difficulty is experienced. From Philadelphia, would it not be a good idea to make a dummy out of flesh? No. So, a citizen of Philadelphia?

What? Would that be a man, sir? Would it not be a good idea to make a dummy out of flesh-colored clothing and sawdust about the same thing. size of a boy attached and attached wires from a battery that would explode dynamite concealed in the left.

I happen to have one in my basement. Started good, got, great. Couldn't stop listening. So that was Uncle Sam, right? I've got an idea for you. I put a bunch of fireworks and a horse carcass and put it on a round. What about an exploding meat boy?

Put him in the flesh-colored Clothes all us humans wear. Where's my son? No. The idea was accompanied by a drawing showing a ball of meat attached to strong piano wire hanging from a spring loaded float.

The instructions read, when the shark pulls the bait, he pulls up the spring and makes contact with an electric circuit, which sets off the dynamite. Those aren't instructions. That's it. They grafted out. It's a two-pot process. That man grew up to be Hitler.

from Illinois. Why don't you have the U.S. government round up all available submarines to hunt that murdering shark. Use beef bait if necessary. Yep, absolutely. Use beef bait if necessary. We've all said that before. That's just something you tacked on. Get all the submarines out there.

All right, we will. And if you need to use beef bait, go for it. Okay, sorry. Good idea. Good idea. What if any meat, right? Just put the beef on the submarine and take them out. Okay. Meat submarines.

what I'm talking about. By the way, I sell, I'm a cattle renter, I have plenty of beef available. You ever thought about making sandwiches? You out of your fucking mind? No one's going to eat meat between bread. It needs wires,

dynamite. Professor Nichols said that the influx of sharks could be turned into a positive if the government could catch them. Because the skins of sharks are very durable and could be used as a non-cracking leather.

So this guy's thinking outside the box. Yeah, that's great. No, it's always good to think like that. At the creek in Matawan, men hung huge legs of lamb and sides of beef on large hooks from bridges. And hungry citizens ate. Hey, idiot. And the flies were like,

Woo! Isn't there a war going on at this film? Shouldn't there have been? Welcome to fly down. A New York reporter came with a large boat dragging lamb baited grappling hooks and advertising a shark hunting expedition. He's a reporter? A reporter slash shark hunter, obviously, right?

As was the time. Wildwood, New Jersey offered $1,000 for a shark. The resorts started losing money rapidly, with $250,000 in reservations canceled within a week. Some resorts had 75% percent. vacancy rates in their high season. The war was on. There were hundreds of sharks being caught. A newspaper report.

The roar of dynamite exploded in the creek almost continuously and sounds like a European battle with hundreds of men armed with guns of every description blazing away at sticks of wood or anything else that the excited hunters believe is a shark's fin. Asbury Park Fishing Club members spent an entire night hunting shark.

They were mostly going after the shark bounties to make some cash. But the money would only be paid if human remains were found inside the shark. Oh my gosh. All right, Ted. This is a tough call, but we need the bounty. And he's empty. We drew straws, pal, so

get that head off. Oh, my God, not Ted. 20s will be fine. So sharks are being cut open all over the place. Some made money by capturing sharks and then taking the on tour around the state. You could see sharks on displays at fares.

There was a shark on display at the St. Jones Hotel. Even old Captain Cottrell got in on the action. He caught a seven-foot 230-pound shark by beating it with a piece of iron. He's the greatest... He's the greatest person ever. And that, that at least is somewhat fair. Yeah.

In a way, he's like, I'll use a device that is not a gun on you. I mean, it's still quite an advantage because the shark's like, Fucking land. Fucking land. How many sharks have said that? Fucking land.

Cottrell then displayed the shark at the fish house on a bridge with a sign reading Terror of Matawan Creek 10 cents a look. For days,

hundreds of people packed the bridge to get a look. Another Long Island man claimed he caught the killer shark and he was charging a nickel. That shark he put inside of a zinc-lined coffin. Like sharks are,

that's how sharks are caught and shown. Put a shark in a coffin. A shark-shaped coffin? No, it's a people coffin. They didn't especially build a shark coffin, but it was just... So its fins were crossed over the time. That makes sense. Now I see it.

It looks so natural in his suit. That's how I want to remember him. Could you put a little more rouge on this? You did a great job. He looks so natural. He looks very natural. It's like himself. He looks just like you look what he bit Charles.

People started buying sharks from fishermen and displaying the businesses and hotels claiming it was the Jersey murder shark. 102 sharks were killed in one New Jersey Baylor. Sorry, sorry. Are these raw sharks? They're just raw sharks? I don't know what that means.

Like freshly dead sharks. Yeah, like a brand new dead shark. Also, apparently in your world is known as a raw shark. So... I mean, I guess I approached it from a sushi chef at him. You're absolutely right to question me. A raw shark? Well, now I've heard everything.

Yeah, so fishermen are not killing sharks. So like a sashimi, but with the shark? That's correct. Did he have rice around? No. So they're just buying them and putting them up around places. Makes sense. Rather.

Then, on the morning of July 14th, A taxidermist and Barnman Bailey Lion Tamer. I have two jobs back then. That make no sense together. Did you do your research on double Wikipedia? This is all legit. Yeah. Well, he's dead.

I'll stuff him. Taxidermist and lion tamer named Michael Slisser caught a... And it's very close to slicer for a taxidermist. Slicer. Got a seven and a half foot, 325 pound shark near my... on Creek. The shark almost sank his boat, and he killed it with an oar.

He cut the shark's stomach open and found a, quote, suspicious, fleshy material, and bones that took up about two-thirds of a milk crate and weighed 15 pounds. The milk crate weighing... So why don't you see if you can make Lester look like he used to? Could have been two milk crates of bones, I swear. I weigh 19 milk crate. this was a young great white.

Scientists determined the stomach contents were human. They found an 11-inch shin bone of a boy and a piece of a rib. Dr. Lucas wrote, there is no doubt about this. They finally had the shark. So let's sure put the shark on display in the window of a Manhattan shop on Broadway. Around 30,000 people packed the street to see the shark. What are we? TV.

Like, what are... Curious. We really are. That is what we are. And stupid. We're just curious and fast to react. Hey, what is that? Put it in a store window.

Everybody's loving the shark in the window. Everything's fine here in society, gang. Do the shark, shark, do the shark, the new shark burger. Kill it all. Eat the whole thing. So let's her announce a tour for his taxidermy animals, including the shark through the far east.

Well, that's the headliner. That was it for the shark attacks on the Jersey Shore. You gotta love your next stuffed animal. He's a close friend. That was it for the shark attacks on the Jersey Shore in the summer of 1916. One scientist reasoned that there had been no shark attacks before because, quote,

sharks simply swallowed their victims whole as with the story of Jonah. Nope. That's fair. Bible-based science. Scientists be scientist. That's right. On September 15th,

In 1916, Joseph Dunn, the only survivor, was released from the hospital. He's the 14-year-old kid. The last fatal shark attack in New Jersey was in 1926. There have been less than 10 attacks in New Jersey since 1960. Peter Benchley, the author of Jaws, has said the 1916 attacks were crucial to his work. Think about it. The old captain. Yeah.

The holiday, they didn't want tourism. That's right. Tourism. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, bill. 100 years later, News 12, New Jersey reported on June 27th,

2016, several shark sightings at the Jersey shore have some visitors anxious, but experts say there's nothing to worry about. Experts. On July 1st, two sharks, 100 years offshore, were seen chasing a pot of dolphins. Lifeguards ordered everyone out of the water. A pot of dolphins?

A pot of dolphins. A pot of dolphins. That's what they're called. They should start. one of these. They have. They probably have. Peter Belonia, director of the Marine Biology and Coastal Sciences Program at Montclair, said of the siding,

quote, it's not the first siding in recent days. A boatlet of recreational fishermen came face to face with a juvenile great white shark on Sunday. He was spraying graffiti on coral. It's a phase. Bring out your co-fisher.

Shark kids will big kids. A member of Lester Stillwell's family said that some of the more daring boys in the family were often told quote, if you don't come straight home after school, you'll end up in trouble

like Uncle Lester. That's families for you. Oh my God. I love doing shit like me. I love that stuff. Therapy for that. That's quite a threat. I love you, honey. Don't end up

your Uncle Lester. Eaten by a shark. I think people are really fucking stupid I think that's a conclusion we can draw comments about sharks you want one, need one I'm sorry, are you saying that this is a crazy time now you're selling sharks We'll be signing sharks at the table

We sign sharks That's cool We signed sharks by the way Well what's good is that we've learned and now we just kill them for their fans Oh I love yeah That's better you just grab an animal The soup.

Yep. You guys. It makes you want to fuck. They're worth it. Okay. Oh my God. Get those fins off and push it back in. If you ever fucked after.

It's fun and it's funny. It's funny. Mm. Worth. And Karen, when you see a guy with a leather necklace with a shark tooth on it, how don't turn on are you? Oh. Oh, my God.

How do you not have sex with that guy? Yeah. Yeah. You can't not want it. Yeah. Shark man. Do you have the rest of the teeth at home, sir? What's the

What's the What is that That is what? That's Flirty Gary What is that thing? You've never met him? I'd love to see the jaw What is happening?

You ever been inside a shark? No What is? Is it a dance? He doesn't give a shit. Look, He doesn't care. Does not give two shits at all.

I like that I learned that sharks can, if they feel like it, go anywhere they want. Anywhere. A shark. So I was trying to figure out what it. Everyone has had these different. Just anywhere. Like places when you got older, you were like, when I was a kid, I used to be worried I'd see one in a creek. Yeah.

And now it's like, yeah. Now you're like, jamba juice. I'm all nervous. Is there a shark in there? Excuse me? I read tons of different things. about what could have caused it and then one guy

was like, a shark expert, he was like I think it's just a fucked up shark like he was literally like I think he was just like a fucking moron like he was just a fucking idiot shark it was like what it does remind me of is like when I used to get lost and I'd be like before like GPS and I'd be like I'm going to power

through this and figure it out. Yeah. And then you'd be like 800 miles away and be like all right! I'm a fucking idiot. Where's Big Bear? I'm not asking for directions. So this may sound callous,

but if this, if it took this many people to die to give us Jaws, the movie, is totally worth it. Absolutely. Yeah, that's really sure. 100%. Thank you very much.

Thank you guys. Listen to my favorite murder! Hey, Dullop fans. I know you love the Dullop. You love listening to the Dullop. Do you want to watch the Dallop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about? By the way, it's not Gary.

It's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes. So if you want to go watch a five-partner animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube. You can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube.

It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it. And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them. We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.