The Downbeat - Brendan Murphy #2 - Counterparts

Episode Date: December 17, 2020

My guest this week is Brendan Murphy, vocalist of Counterparts and END. He's back. We talk about nonsense, the future of touring, mental health medication, and his cat. Peace!

Hello, broadcast quality checking. Oh, my goodness. Mm. Mm. Mm. Sibbolans. Peter. Peter Parker.

Spider-Man. Ha, ha. I made myself laugh. Hi. If you're thinking, this sounds like a very high-quality episode of the Downbeat podcast. It sounds like maybe someone who made a podcast has got a chip on their shoulder about one of their episodes that sounded.

like absolute toilet water and has invested, thanks to the lovely people at Road microphones, in some actual podcasting gear. Does it sound good? Does it sound better? Is it sound better if I get closer like this? Oh, hello there. I'm the Mr. Podcast Man, and you can get all of my voices now. Yeah, basically two years of the downbeat.

Mostly, most episodes that you listen to of the Downbeat are done at a dining room, or on a sofa with a stag microphone, like what they called? I don't even know what they called. A microphone holder stand. Microphone stand. And then like a quite a nice mic, but it's a Tom Mike. That's how most of my successful, not award-winning, and it really should be, it's this time of year, sort of award timer yet again, not up for any awards.

But, you know, should be award-winning podcast, has been done on the most ghetto. equipment. And now I've got a little road thing, a roadcaster pro, which looks like a TV studio. What's the thing? Radio studio. Very good. Going very well. It's got those of buttons and that. Big red record button, which I like. Makes me feel like I'm Daniel P. Castor on the Radio One rock show. And I've got these microphones, a pod mic, it's called. And it looks. And it looks. It's just a sexual looking mic. It's right close to my mouth and I'm like, I should just... I just licked it there.

I wonder if that came through. But apparently it's got a pop shield. That's another thing. I don't really use a pop shield, which apparently you're supposed to. So I can say Peter Parker's penis. And it shouldn't have been too poppy. Anyway, thanks to the people at Road for that. And thanks for the people that do the Patreon,

because that sort of afforded some of this goodness. we're still working on the studio but now we're getting there it's getting closer oh I'm really like the way that's mic sounds I hope it sounds good for you as well the people at the Patreon obviously their money is

providing these sort of upgrades so you're gonna get just like lovely time and when we go for video it's gonna have you're gonna have this you can be able to see this big red button I'm talking about and in a minute when I play the jingle right I'm actually just gonna hit a button and the jingle's gonna play

like I'm actually actually on radio. It's very, very 2020. Cyberpunk 2020. I'm a cyberpunk. Punk. Punk. Punk. Um, there's probably much at www. www. Dot the down the e. Dot. Um, and if there's not, go to the Patreon. Give me a quid. It's only a quid. It's, uh, luxury communism. I'm so close to the microphone, just testing this m m m m m m m ms suplants anyway

hey hey my guest this week is Brendan Murphy from counterparts he's back back once again if I was a YouTuber I'd say back with another video but it's a podcast so we're back with another podcast with Brendan we're both just bored and we had a chat about

what it's like not being on tour what we think's going to change when touring comes back because nobody's taking any shit. We've all sort of realised, we go into it in depth, we've realised that as musicians, I know we've got like the best life in the world,

but also on tour, sometimes it kind of sucks, and there's little things that you put up with because it's just what you do, but now we've all been forced to realise that being at home isn't actually that bad. So there's certain things that we're not going to put up with. We talk quite a bit about,

well, went on a tangent about mental health medication, with the underlying sort of message of if you're not happy with your doctor, go and see another one. But that got quite deep, accidentally deep. Obviously there was laughs though, because Brendan is one of, no, maybe the funniest person, I know. We talk about a really funny way that you could start talking about, like if you've got bad news or good news, I'll let you get to that bit,

but I for one really like it. It was just generally a really nice chat. It was nice to catch up with him. We were going to have a phone call anyway to catch up, and we thought, why not record it and why not just beam it into your heads with this lovely new microphone? Disclaimer, I'm recording this bit on the new microphone, and when you hear me talking to Brendan, it is the old microphone.

So this is the quality you should expect in the future on the Downbeat podcast with road microphones. I'm going to press the button now. It's going to play the jingle, Brendan Murphy on the Downbeat podcast. Music. I hope that worked. So you're coming at me from a terrorist computer right now. Basically.

You're on a PC. I'm on a PC, yeah. How long have you been on a PC? Because I'm thinking of making the switch, bro. I mean, like, I've been like a fucking computer geek kind of kid for a while. Like, I used to work at a computer store and shit. And, like, I was, like, when I play games and stuff, like, I originally was playing on computer. And then I had to, like, move over to fucking, to, like, Xbox and, like, you know, PlayStation and all that shit.

Because nobody wanted to build a fucking computer. So I was like, okay, I either play with fucking terrorists or I have to play with my friends. So I'm like, fuck, you know what I mean? But, um, but yeah, it's been, like years. Like, I got, actually, like, this PC I built, like, I built it around. Fuck, I don't, I don't even remember. I want to say like, it was this year because it was like, well, I'm stuck in the fucking house, so what am I going to do, you know? Because last time we spoke, we were talking about both getting PCs so we could play Counter Strike.

And only one of us has done that. Yep. I, yeah, I followed through. I actually did it. But I'm like, fuck, I'm at a stage where I need to upgrade my shit for the video podcast and everything. Yeah. And I need a laptop and whatever. the fucking, what do you call a non-laptop?

Old man, fucking dumbass computer. The box. The box shit. Exactly. The big box. The tower. Okay, I need a tower. Isn't there a name?

Desktop. There we fucking go. So I need a desktop and I need a laptop. And my fucking none of my, because I was like, oh, I might record some drums this week. And I've updated Mac OSX. And Pro Tools. doesn't work, logic barely works, and my interface isn't supported anymore.

Yeah, that's, I don't know, that's, that's the thing with, like, it's, I don't know, you kind of, you always hear that with like, like, like, even like, like, Will's talked about it at the studio and shit where he's like, yeah, I don't know, like the, like the computer fucking, like, we, you know, the, the, like, the operating system updated and now fucking, I can't record fucking drums. I can't do this. I can't do that. Like, nothing works. And it's just like, it's fucking annoying, but like when it is working, it's like definitely easier to navigate than Windows. Um, but I don't know, in terms of, in terms of like what, I guess like what you're going to use it

for, like, if you're, if you're not playing games, like, you can just, but I will be. Yeah, that's, that's kind of it then. Like, then in that case, I, I guess I would do a Windows, but. Yeah. It's also the money. It's like, if basically the only reason I, yeah. have logic. The only reason I have a Mac is logic.

And if they're going to tell me my fucking interface isn't supported, like... And they might. It's just... When you get like a PC, though, it looks like like a laptop that isn't a MacBook.

They all look like a child should be using it for Dora the Explorer quizzes. Literally. They all have that like... Beveled fucking... Yeah, leapfrog. It's exactly what a V-Tech leapfron. And it looks very fast.

It's fucking, you know. And it looks like you pull it out of the bag and then people immediately go, that man has questionable images on his hard drive. For sure. It's like they have just that guy's got magnets in his backpack. So just in case the cop show up, he can fucking scramble his shit.

Yeah, it's a fucking, but then I'm like a MacBook at the spec that I need is the same price as I could get a car the terrorist yeah the terrorist laptop and the terrorist desktop yep but less than one than one Mac shop man MacBook yeah which will be obsolete in fucking three years anyway exactly and then and then at least like with the with the PC you can like you can upgrade as you know what I mean like it's not like like right now if it was like oh, I'm, like, I'm doing everything on a Mac, and it was like, okay, like, I need to get a better video card.

It's like, I, you know what I mean? Like, okay, I have to, I have to, like, look up. I have to buy, like, special tools to fucking open the thing and, like, do all this crap versus, like, PC, like, the side of my computer fucking comes off. And I just unscrew one bolt and, like, with my fucking fingers and take the old one out, put the new one in, and then close it and turn the computer on. And then it just works. Yeah.

And then it just works. Yeah, it's like grown-up Lego. That's how it should be just fucking easy. Yeah. Sorry, Lego. And that, and that is, like, that is, for the most part, I mean, like, if you do it once, or, like, not even if you do it, like, it's, it's faster for me because I, like, I did work at that, at that store. So, like, I, that's all I did for, like, hours a day was just build computers.

So it is easy for me. But even, like, like, Kenny bought new fucking RAM and he, like, FaceTime me. And I'm like, okay, like you see that thing? Like press that, pull that out. You know what I mean? I think I did that. I did that when I was like when I first had a studio computer. I built it and it was Windows.

And I phone my parents today to see if I hadn't thrown it out. Because I think if you're like music production, the thing you should do is have a specific music production PC or Mac and then don't let it connect to the internet and just use that for that. Yeah. And then it won't, shit won't go out of date. Yeah. So, but that's too late. I fucking threw it away. Someone else, someone else has access to my MySpace.

Oh, son of a bitch. Well. Anyway, this is the, uh, the gaming podcast. Yeah, this is fucking. The downbeat. This is the, yeah, this is the fucking NZXT fucking phase podcast here. We're, you know, the little lights.

We got the lights in the fucking thing. Oh, of course. we do, yeah, that's... If you don't, you're a fucking... RGB, yeah. Ruth Gere Binsberg. Fuck. Um, how are you?

You're responsible for some of my depression, by the way. Why? What did I do? Because you got a fucking real job. Oh, well, I mean, I wouldn't call it that. I sweep. I sweep the floor. And then I... You sweep the fucking floor.

And I saw it. And I know it's fine. And it's... I'm not job shaming or anything, but I saw it. I was like, oh my God. Yep, it's fucking. The voice. The voice of a generation, sweeping floors. See kids like, you know, fucking, they say never meet your hero because he just might,

he just might give you a fade if he gets good enough. He just might sweep your fucking floor. Is that the intention? Are you intending to be a barber? No. No. Like not at all. Like literally

Spat my tea out there Like I So the dude that cuts my hair Riley he's like You know he's just been a friend of mine for for years and he I think you just saw me posting about like being broke and how like I My resume is gonna look fucking insane It's gonna be a nice like 11 year gap on it

And so he He just messaged me and was like yo like we need somebody to just like Literally sit at the desk and like sweep hair when it like whenever the hair over for three days a week. Like, are you down? And I'm like, yeah, okay. Dude, I didn't even, it's so fucking funny. I didn't even know, like, I was like, oh, like, he was like telling me about pay and

stuff like that. And I'm just like, oh, like, so I'll get paid like by the hour then. Like, I don't even know how that fucking works. I'm like, I'm like looking at it being like, I'm like, oh, okay. Like, so 15 bucks an hour. And then like, then when I take a hour lunch, I don't get paid for that. that's like my own thing. And he's like...

Like a fucking 15 year old. Literally. Yeah. And he's like, what? Like, are you, like,

you're not joking. I'm like, no, I'm a fucking idiot. Like, the last job I had was in 2012 at hot topic. So it's like, it's been that fucking long.

You know what I mean? But... A hot topic. That was your last job. That was my last job. Counterbats came through on a tour and they dropped in to hot topic. Yeah. They did an in store.

That day, that day, they just had a big fallout with their singer. The singer. The singer went into Hot Topic. He couldn't find the fucking leather pants that he needed for the stage. And so he had a fit. Through a tantrum. Yeah. They fired him on the spot.

And then they, and then they're like, hey. That guy. Hey, kid, you know how to scream? And I'm like, I'm like, I think I could try. Well, fries or inwards? Yeah, well, I don't know. I've been working on my fry technique, I think. I've been working on my inward pig fry.

Yeah, I've been doing my gun rolls for a minute. And you know what? This joke is funny, but it's not far off how George joins Stygia guns. Dude, 100%. That is like the craziest fucking story. Like, hey, do you want to go on tour tomorrow? So funny. Dad, can I do it?

at Hot Topic? At that time. No, no. I'm pretty sure he was working at Hot Topic, yeah. Wow, that makes me think this whole thing is a simulation. Just... Yeah, it is. It is.

It is. In a fucking sim... I mean, a PC and or Mac simulation. Yeah. And we're fucking... We're all just on... We're all just fucking text characters and some guy's fucking Android phones and a Zoom. He's scrolling through his Zoom fucking library.

and then we're just, we're in the 3D Windows brick maze. What, what are you doing then? What else you're doing? You got three days a week doing that? That's it. But what, like, what you're filling your days with? Nothing. Drinking.

Getting fucking blasted every day. Every day, because I'm really, really hammering it. I, like, yes, but still within, like, like, it's still not as bad as when I'm on tour, I guess. Like now it's like when I'm on tour, I'm like having a bottle of Jameson every night and then going to bed and waking up and doing it again. Like this is like, oh yeah, like I'm drinking enough wine to like make me feel silly and then I go to bed.

You know what I mean? I'm not like doing the piss wobble where you like go pee and they're like, ooh, like that oh shit. That's the tour the tour piss. The bus fucking wobble piss. Yeah, and then you're also drunk. Like if you were in a bathroom that wasn't fucking hitting rumble strips, it's difficult. And then you couple it with, you know, that's why the Euro bus drivers are like, oh, sit, you have to sit down when you pee.

It's like, it's not, you know, they're not like, oh, you're going to make up, like, I'm sure there's part of it where they're like, oh, it's, you're all animals and you're just going to piss all over everything. But there's a, there's a big factor where it's like you can't, I know you won't be able to stand up. so you're going to fall out of the bathroom with your prick in your hand and piss down the sicker. It's so fucking flawed their logic that's always like you need to sit down to pee because there's always one person that doesn't sit down to pee and they pee all over the fucking thing. Yep. And then I'm not sitting on that. I will say two things. Number one, when I was on the slip-knock bus, I've never been on a bus like it in my life.

I don't even know what the company was. It was overbeat the street. Like, yeah. A fucking, somebody's lounge, and then the toilet was a full-on bathroom with a fucking shower in it. Yeah, that's fucking sick.

It was unbelievable. My second point is I've been sitting down to pee in the middle of the night lately because for some reason I'm peeing in the middle of the night. I think I'm having a protein shake before bed and it makes me an extra wee. But I've been sitting down to pee and then sometimes I,

because the lights are off, I stand up and I haven't shit. I haven't shook because I was sitting down and then I stand up my... You piss a bit. Yeah. I just piss a bit. Yeah. Sometimes I don't realize until I've got back into bed and I'm like, oh, I've pissed my parents.

Yeah, it's like with my... I've been taking that, like, that Vivance shit for ADD and stuff. And I think there's like, there's some... There are, like, side-finding. effects and shit with it where it's like it um uh what's it called like your circulation and shit like it'll like mess with your um with your circulation like you know it'll make your hands like colder like you know like like that type of shit but one of them i think i'm pretty sure it like messes with your with your prick like it makes you like it like it you're you know it looks like

you just went swimming so it's like when you pee like sometimes you're just like what the fuck and then you know then you like take two steps and then a little more comes out it's like i don't know if it's like a prostate thing or if it's like because you got this tiny little shrimp bastard but you know it's fucked up what so the thing the thing either makes you have a small dick or it makes your piss small what are you getting at here like both it gives you oh it will definitely give you i imagine if it's for ADD i imagine it's a fucking it's it's a phatamine yeah it's infatamine yeah yeah yeah so you got you got code you got legal coke dick pretty much Yeah.

Yeah. So, but like, but I, I noticed that once I started taking it, we'd be like, I, you know, I like go to the bathroom and pee and then I like, like, I walk out and I'm like, yep, for sure, empty. There's nothing left. The well is dry. And then I take two steps. And I'm like, oh, like, a little more.

I guess I wasn't done. Is that since you, since you've been taking those pills? Yes. Because I think that happens to me all the fucking time. Yeah. I mean, definitely more noticeable since I started taking the pills. Yeah. That's what my problem means.

How did you get fucking diagnosed with adult ADD? That's a relatively recent thing. Yeah, yeah, relatively. Dude, I went to the doctor and, like, my old family doctor just like, she fucking stunk. Like, she wouldn't listen to me. Like, I was telling her, like, yeah, I don't feel normal. Like, I feel fucking weird.

And she's like, no, you're lazy and don't like your homework. And I'm like, all right, like, oh, fuck. And I'm the only boy on earth, right? Like, I'm the only one. that ever has to do with this. But so I just like, I switched, I switched doctors. I was talking to them and I had some like, some like consultation type shit. And this is when I was like going through it back in the day like what, like 2018, like when I was pretty fucked up.

And so I was doing all these, like I was doing these like interview type things and we were talking about shit. And she was just asking me like, you know, like are you like what's your day like? like, are you upset, like, this type of shit? And I was telling her and she's just like, wait, like, like, she's like, yeah, okay, like you have like the depression, anxiety shit, like, sure. You know what I mean? Like you're like, the boxes are checked, whatever. You fucking got it.

But she's like, what's up with this other shit? Like, tell me more about that. I'm just asking me about how like, you know, like I procrastinate and I'm like super lazy and I can't focus and I get overwhelmed with like, oh, I have to do three things today. So I'm going to do none. And that's just what I'm doing. You know what I mean? Like that type of shit.

And I guess like my lack of energy and everything like that. And then they started asking me like, you know, when you were a kid, like, did you ever get tested for ADD? And I'm like, yeah, as far as I know. And they were like, you didn't do anything with that. Like you didn't follow up. And I'm like, no, I was a fucking kid. Like, I was five. Like, it was up to my parents.

And if they didn't feel like they needed to do anything further with it. So it just never happened. So I like, I went to like a. legit like psychologist like had a fucking two hour meeting where they asked me all these questions and had me describe all these things or whatever and then at the end of it she was just like you have like you have ADD like without question like you're fucking riddled with it and I'm like yeah I know like I know that and I'm like and she's like yeah like this isn't you know this like I'm I'm like don't get me wrong like I'm I am lazy like I'm you know that's just the

Horace in me. But like I am fucking, I am lazy like already. So when you couple it with that, it's like I'm a fucking slug. And so you know, when I What do you mean like the lazy? Like how does it manifest the laziness?

Because people have always said to me, you've probably got ADD, but that's because I'm annoying and I bounce off the fucking walls. Is that not the same thing? Is that a misconception? I think so like that would be like ADHD. And they're both similar. And as far as I know, they're like treated. with the same thing.

Like they're both treated with like, you know, like, hey, here's your fucking, here's your fucking amphetamine. Like, Adderall, Vivance, Ritalin. Is your shrimp dick, pill. Exactly. Whatever it is. And, uh, and so, like, but that was, like, that was a big part of it, too. When they were talking to me, she was asking me about, like, being hyper and, you know,

she's like, you ever feel like, you know, you can't calm down and stuff? And I'm like, I've never been hyper in my entire life. I'm like, I've never been. like if hyper is like a you know seven or more out of 10 in terms of energy level I'm like I've never hit a four in my life like I've never had fucking energy I've just always been very like you know very like baseline like yeah he's breathing so I don't know he seems all right but but yeah and I did that and we just like went over medication and shit and like all like the whole time like I know that I know in my head that something's up because like when I first tried like Adderall when we were doing you're not you like at the studio.

I was like I can't even remember who had someone had Adderall and they're like oh you having a hard time writing lyrics like try this and I'm like okay. And so I did it. And then I'm like oh fuck like I feel good. I'm like I feel like how in my head like healthy normal people feel when they wake up. I was like yeah, I'm going to write a song and then do my taxes. And I'll probably clean up a little bit. This place is kind of messy. And I'm just like, whoa.

Like, this is... Yeah, but... It's fucking crazy. This sounds sick. It's... And, like, and that's the thing. Other than the shrimp dick, it sounds sick. Yeah, I mean, but, like, whatever, I don't know.

It's like, you know, in the event that, you know, somebody broke in your house and someone's like, if you can't, if you can't make your dick look like, you know, grow a single inch right now, I'm going to shoot you. It's like, you can do it. It's fine. That's ever happened. It might. In like the history of the world, anyone's ever broken into someone's house and said, if you can't grow your dick by one inch right now, I'm going to kill you.

I'm going to fucking kill you. I mean, probably. Does it work? Does the dick work? Because there is the amphetamine dick. Sometimes, depending on the amphetamine, I've heard. Yeah. Sometimes the penis can not work.

I mean, as far, like, any time I've, like, because I, like, I've tried. So far in terms of like medication, I've tried, uh, concerta, which is like extended release Ritalin. Um, I've done Vivance. I've done Adderall, both extended release and immediate release. And yeah, it's like you, like you notice. Like I'll never forget the first time I like went to the bathroom. Yeah, at the studio had taken Adderall to P.

like, like, like, like I was saying and I looked down and I was like, what's happening? I'm like, where like, I'm like, I went from two Mentos to one. I'm like, this is fuck out. This is psycho. Like what's happening to me right now? But then, yeah, like it, you know, after it, I think it's all because, you know, like your circulation, it's like making your blood fucking flow and your heart rates up and shit.

So it's like, you know, it's putting the blood where the blood needs to go. Yeah, that too. You ever get really scared and it shrinks? Oh. It's the same thing. Jim Dick, Coke, Dick. Yes. Yeah.

They're all related. They're all in the same family. of fight or flight, we need to make this guy as small as possible because it's in the way. It's not aerodynamic. We got to make his brain big. So he can... Big brain, shrimp-y dick. So he can write the fucking song.

Yeah. But... I wonder if that happens to girls. If they have... They're quite aerodynamic down there anyway. I don't know if it's an aerodynamics thing. I don't know. I don't really know...

I guess like a couple... Like, there's a couple girls I know that, that take, like, they have ADD and they take, like, fucking, you know, like, whatever it is, like, Adderall of Ivans. Like, I've, like, I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure I got some from, like, the person that gave him to me at the studio was a girl, if I remember correctly. But, yeah, like, I feel like that's, that's, like, the more so, like, noticeable symptom in a way. Like, I remember when I got prescribed, like, my doctor was like, oh, hey, also, like, if there's ever a day where you have, like, a fucking erection for four hours. or more and it can't go away, like, you know, you got to stop. And I'm like, what? Like, okay.

So, so I guess I'm not sure how that would, how that would manifest. I think that's a, I think that's a dopamine thing. Because if they put you on like a dopamine antidepressant instead of a serotonin one, then you're at risk of, I think it's preapsis, I think it's called. And it's just a bono that doesn't go away. and like it can fucking you can lose your dick with it yeah and and that like to me that's that's way worse than having than you know being lighter in being depressed for sure yeah but but like if if you had to compare both it's like I would rather be more aerodynamic in in the fucking gym shorts

and then when I need it it works versus and then a four hour fucking bono yeah versus like being at you know fucking someone's funeral and it's like, oh, oh, check that out. Oh, my God, can you imagine? Can you fucking imagine? Someone sent me a thing the other day. I don't know if it's woo-woo, but someone was listening to some episode of the podcast

where I talk about my many fucking run-ins with prescription, fucking antidepressants and shit. And then a guy was like, there's a DNA test that you can take now. It's only in America. I checked. Where they scan your DNA and they can tell you, which antidepressant will give you the least side effects based on your DNA? That's like that's fucking amazing.

I mean it makes sense but it's like because some people are one of the ones I tried was just like wait this pill is supposed to make me not think about killing myself all the time because. And it's doing the fucking exact opposite. Yeah, it's doing the exact.

Yeah, it's like one in 10,000 people it can do the opposite of what it's supposed to do. I was like, oh, okay. Well, Yeah. And you're like... Color me lucky. Oh, I guess I won the fucking lottery.

I won the fucking... I won the brain lottery. Yeah. I was like... The other thing, too, like, you know, not to fucking... Not to fully hijack the combo and make it about fucking sad boy pills because it's kind of depressing. We'll get to the jokes in a minute.

No, but this will be the bit when everyone's like, oh, fucking needed that, bro. Even though we think... He's normal. He's fucking... He's just like me. It's like, yeah, my... Rock's only son is normal. Oh, my God.

Just like me. He sweeps floors and his brain is fucked. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah. It's almost as if anybody could be in a metal band. It's almost like a baby could fucking scream, you know? It's almost like we weren't just handed down this skill of the least paid music. Yeah, the worst music of all time.

Anyway, hijack, hijack. We're going to hijack. In terms, so, like, I mean, I've been on, I've been on, like, multiple, like, antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication, like, stuff like that. And, and, like, none of them, like, they all make, they're all, like, they, they, like, they, like, stink, right? It's, like, the side effects, like, if the pill was fucking amazing and it was like, yeah, I don't know, you're, like, you're just, like, sleepy all the time, whatever.

It's like, okay, I can live with that. But the pill barely fucking works. And then the side effects are so bad that I'm like, this sucks. So now that I'm taking, I'm on like Vivance every day, like, it's like I feel good. And then with the added benefit of like, well, my depression's kind of gone too. And like I'm not, I'm not like, you know, the amount of times in the week where I have like an episode where I'm feeling like shit. It's like it's like barely there anymore unless like something happens. you know what I mean, but, but like, so it's like this pill just makes me feel fucking amazing.

And then with the added benefit of like, oh, I don't want to fucking kill myself anymore. This is cool. You know what I mean? So it's like, and that was a struggle with my other doctor where it was like, you know, she was, I was telling her like, yeah, like I don't know what's going on with this like ADD shit. Like I feel fucking, I feel like something's up because it's like beyond like it's beyond fucking just being laid. Like this is like, oh, I just like cost the ban like $4,000 because I waited till the last minute to book flights for a tour that I've known. We've confirmed for the last seven months and just like shit like that.

And I'm like, why am I like this? Like, why do I do this? And, you know, she was hesitant to put me on anything because she's like, well, you have anxiety. So if you take, if you take stimulant, like, it's going to make it worse. And like I'm sitting there being like, lady, I've fucking like chewed Adderall beads from a fucking that fell into a Bluetooth speaker. Like it's fine. You know what I mean? It's like,

like I, but you can't tell them that. I play rock and roll music. Okay. I've had my share of nose injuries, lady. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, like, yeah, and that's the thing. And it's like, you can't tell them that because then they're going to be like, oh,

so you're a fucking liar then? All right. Especially, especially if you've got tattoos as well. Oh. Oh, now it's drug-seeking behavior. Yeah.

You know, you know you can't snort this stuff, bro. Rock's. only some shining boy exactly and that's like that's the other thing too is like my that was another reason why they gave me like vance over adderall because they were like yeah like we prescribed vizance because you can't like you have to ingest it and it takes a minute it's not like like like you know even with the adderall like obviously the immediate release like it's fucking

immediate but the extended release like even even though it's extended like after 20 minutes you fucking feel it like all of a sudden you're like like okay like got a big fucking day like time to get the work done but with vivance it's more of like a gradual thing and then that means that like the come down is also nicer so it's like I'm not have you know when I'm like shot after I've taken my adderall and I'm like fucking grumpy and irritable and stuff like that's there with five ants no no it's like it's like very subtle I notice so also like with with five advance to like or I guess any stimulant like you know you don't eat like I've I've lost a like a shitload of weight are you trying are you trying to sell these right now because I want to say like I've

that's the thing is like I I swear to God like obviously I don't advocate like buying it from someone who could be faking and it could kill you and shit like that and I don't advocate it for everybody but you know in terms of like like side effects or whatever it's like they're literally all for me they've all been good so it's like the drug fucking literally like made my life better like it like it turned me from like a loser like you know miserable like can't fucking do anything to being like the most productive like best feeling i've like you know the best i've ever felt in my life and it's fucking crazy but they're 200 bucks a month so so you know i mean that's a small price to pay for the not feeling normal but

That is how a lot of people feel with antidepressants once they find the right one. For sure. Yeah. You're right. Doctors just go, yeah, you're depressed. Take this one. And you go, I don't know, this one. And then you didn't like that one.

Didn't like that one. I went through four. I went through four and I got one that I liked. And then at the same time, I kind of just like my life got better as well anyway. So I was like, this is fine. I don't have to do this anymore. Yeah, that's... But...

Very similar to me. I was like, I was on Zoloft and I fucking hated that. Like, and then a bunch of other ones. And then finally I was on... I think it was like... Cyprelex or Lexa... Like, I think the name,

the big brand Cyperlex, the generic is Lexapro, which is what I was buying. And that actually made me feel pretty good. But we were on tour and I went to the studio right after. So I like, I just ran out. And I was like, well, I'm not buying it

and fucking... America, like, because it's going to be a million dollars. And even to just go to the walk-in and get a prescription is going to be a million dollars. But my life, exactly like you said, like my life was getting better. So I felt like I needed it less. You know, but. Yeah. I couldn't deal with those, those, any of those ones. The ones that are serotonin uptake, fucking things. Just it was like I was fucking doing MDMA every time I took, even just one. I, even just one, but like in a bad way. Sure, I was going to say that.

I don't know what that feels like, but. My first doctor was, oh yeah, shit, sorry. So I imagine. My first doctor was like, because I went because I wasn't sleeping. And they were like, oh, you're not sleeping because you're depressed. And I now know that that's fucking bullshit. And then he was like, yeah, take these and take them before bed. Yep.

And then I find out later on after another three nights of no sleep and feeling like I'm on drugs, that it's basically like feeling like you're on fucking ecstasy. So take it in the morning. Under no circumstances, take it at night. And I, like, he told me to do it at night, and I just trusted him. And I didn't read the side effects thing or when to take it because I knew, like, because I'm neurotic, it'd be like, oh, side effects is you feel like you might be turning into a lion. And I'll be like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're like, oh, fuck. I think I'm going to, I don't think I'm going to cook this steak. Do I have a main? Am I? Yeah, you're like. But, so I just deliberately didn't read it. And then if I had fucking read it, I would have seen like, taking the morning on an empty stomach.

Yep, exactly. Like, what fucking, that guy has probably been responsible for some people's deaths, like making mistakes like that. Yeah. Nearly mine. Yes, man. And that's like, that's the, other thing too is like like I was like it's funny like I was talking to my girlfriend about this last

night and she was saying like so she's on medication and or she was on medication and she like fucking hated it like she hated it it was like you know it was terrible she's like this medication makes me feel like shit it makes me gain weight like I you know it knocks me out the second I fucking take it like it would be like she she she takes it every night at like seven and it's like by fucking eight o'clock like she's fully like like like coma on the fucking couch and I'm just like and so she went off of it and I'm like I'm like what like what are you doing like go talk like go tell the doctor that this sucks and she's like I've told her that a million times and she just like won't listen and I'm like like what the

fuck like that's that's insane so it's like there's a whole other element of this too where it's like you know if your doctor like a lot of the times it's like your fucking your doctor like your regular doctor you go to, like, they're not a fucking psychologist. They're not psychiatrist. They're a fucking GP, right? So it's like, yeah, obviously they know more than like I fucking do. Like, I'm not saying I'm genius. But, but, you know, like my, like, it's the same thing. Like, my doctor's telling me, like, you don't have EDD, like, you're lazy. And, like, you know, you can't take this medication and, you know, dude, I remember, I remember when I was younger, like, my fucking, like, I had a doctor who said, like, different, like, specialist doctor who

was like, yeah, you're, like, you'll never own a dog or a cat in your life because you're so allergic. Like, you'll never be able to do it. And it's like, well, I have a dog and a cat and you have, you're probably in the fucking ground. So who won that one, buddy? You know what I mean? Like, they just don't, like, that's why I, when I went to the specialist, like, the psychologist, and she talked to me for, like, I was there for like three fucking hours, like answering questions and shit. And then finally got, like, okay, I think this is your diagnosis. And it's just like, yeah, like, that's all it takes. Like, it's just, you have, it takes fucking years to get that appointment.

But once you do that, you at least have a better understanding for the most part, you know. Yeah. I switched like four doctors. And then on the fourth doctor, they were like, they got it. And they were, and they were, there was, especially with like having tattoos, they were so fucking, the first three was so judgmental. Like, that's so weird. I was like, I can't, can't sleep, blah, blah, all this stuff. one of them they literally she literally just said i'm not giving you value them like it was the first

fucking thing i sat down i was like i can't sleep i'm not giving you value i was like what yeah you're like okay okay first of all what's that second of all i know like i i'm not giving you value him and i was like okay well what can we do um have you try and then she was at a fucking blue light this all the fucking sleep schedule bullshit and i was like you are fucking fucking Google. On a side note, I took fucking Luna,

R-IP, to, she ate a whole bar of dark chocolate. Really? She's not dead. She's not dead. She's,

she's scared the fucking shit out of it. Yeah, your face was fucking crazy. Holy. She's not dead. She's as good as. She ate a whole bar

of dark chocolate, which she's supposed to fucking kill a dog. And then... Of course, yeah. I googled it. And I was like, she's pretty fucking big.

She's like 20 kilo dog. So, I better just take it to the vet anyway. Go to the vets. They're like, yeah, you got to pay up front. And it was like,

fucking 130 pounds. Yep. Sat with the vet. And she went, wader, and then went, hmm, let me just check.

And then she went on Google on the same website that I was on. Yes. And then she went, she should be fine. Yeah. And I was like,

okay. Sorry about your fucking carpet. But, Do I, do I, do I pay you or do I pay fucking GEOCities for the hosting? Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Oh, do I make the checkout to Dr. fucking, Dr. Google or Dr. fucking Britney Spears Middy on the fucking Angel City, Angel Fire.

Like, but yeah, like, dude, it's, it's, it's fucking insane. And like, and that's the thing is, like, I feel like my, my doctor was, like, super judgmental as well. You know what I mean? and like my old doctor and it was just it was hard because i'm you know i'm like telling her like look lady like you've like you've known me if anything like you should be the like the compassionate one here it's like you you like you held me as a fucking baby like you did all this shit like you've you've known me my whole life and it's like yeah i'm like you got me like i'm just lazy and i'm just tricking you to get fucking to get pills you know what i mean it's like like yeah i'm i went through

hoops and fucking you know like yeah I try like I waited two years I did this and did that like all of this stuff to get the same pill that I could get off the street for like 10 bucks if I wanted it that fucking bad it's like no and if I was doing it

to get fucking if I was doing it to get kicks I would get one of the infinitely more like usable ones than like oh sure yeah do you want I can score some fucking ritalin like That's what people do when they, like, they need to study. Yeah, like, exactly, yeah.

And, like, that was, that was another, that was a big thing, too. And it's like, I think, I think that in itself is part of the reason why it took me longer to get my prescription because they're like, okay, well, you know, they're like, all right, like, clearly this kid, like, he's not in school. And he's not, you know, he's not, like, trying to get this to, like, study and the fucking get good grades and stuff. and you know and and like this was like like just before like COVID and stuff happened and everything and I'm like you know I'm telling them like okay like like this is what I do and I'm like yeah I don't in terms of responsibilities like there's not much and everything and I'm like I just want to feel like a fucking human and I think like my new doctor finally was just like okay like I think this kid's legit and then I got my I got my um like my referral to the to the crazy place and then

they're like fucking yeah like I believe you 100% like she was she was telling me she's like yeah I don't know like this is something that should have been taken care of a while ago and I was like joking with her I'm like fuck imagine I like got on this medication when I was a kid like I'd probably you're like a lawyer now yeah exactly it's like I would have like maybe I would have like went to university and I would have a fucking car that wasn't my mom's first you know and I would have fucking I would have an apartment with more than one toilet in it you know like the like the like The dream. The dream. Rock's only sun should have at least an onsuit.

Yes, exactly. But, but yeah, that was... There's light in the mood. Yeah. I mean, it was light. It's light, hide. It's always light. It's always light.

A little cat. Tell me how a little fucking cat you got that. Kuma? Man, he's a fucking, he's... So that's, that's the other thing. On top of getting, finally getting medication that makes me feel like a human being, I think like, like, like, like getting Kuma is straight up the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Like, obviously, like, I've had, like, because like, you know, my, like, my parents, we have Kato, like, my, like, my dog and stuff. But he's not, he's not like my, like, my responsibility and shit like that. But like, like, Kuma's like my pet. I'm like, you know, if I was on tour for a month and like, like my, who's going to feed Kato, like my parents do it. And my parents take him to the vet. And my parents make sure he's okay and stuff like that.

You know what I mean? But with Kuma, it's like it's just mine. Like it's like he relies on me. And then so that makes me feel good because it's like, like Leah and I like, I don't know, we fucking, we like, we like, we saved them because he was not like, not like, you know, and it wasn't like a euthanasia scenario. But it was like he, like, as far as we know, he's like, he's never like, this is the first time he's been in a fucking house aside from the foster.

Like he hasn't had a family. Didn't he have some help? shit or has got some of hell shit? Yeah, he like he has. So like when we got him like, you know, we had him for a month and he was like, he was you know, he was like normal and shit and then all of a

sudden he was like being weird and like wasn't eating and was like hiding a lot like around the house and I was like, okay, this is fucking weird because obviously I'm googling it being like, what does it mean if the cat hides and it's like, go to the vet now so we took him and they were like he has a fever.

It's like pretty high. He's like pretty anemic, like, you know, we'll run some tests and, you know, get his, like, fluid up and stuff like that. And then they said he has FIV, which is basically, like, it's HIV for cats. Um, so his, like, immune system is shot. No way. That's the thing. Yes. Yeah.

And, like, also, to be fair, it's like, it's, as far as I know, it's, like, pretty fucking common. And then as long as the cat's, like, indoor, it's, it's fine. Like, if we were to, like, you know, open the door and be like, okay, like, go out and see you in a couple hours when you want to come back in like that's when it gets bad because you know there's like fucking bugs and other animals and you know shit that he could get sick from but if your cat is like an indoor cat and has fiv it doesn't like as long as it doesn't get any other sickness like they'll live as long as a normal cat would you know what i mean so how this is going to sound like i'm joking and i'm not how does a cat get that from

Like, I'm not sure how it, like... Is it like a blood, fucking... I'm obviously not suggesting the cat is out doing fucking crazy shit, by then. Is it like, they, like, rub up against something that is dirty? No, they, like, they... So, it, they get it from other cats when they, like, fight and stuff. Or, like, so, like, if, like, because Kuma has FIV, like, if we got another cat, it would have, like, it wouldn't have to, but for the most part, like,

like if it was a cat that didn't have FIV, like that's dangerous because if they get into a fight one day or something and like Kuma bites them or Kuma scratches them or something like that, that's how it gets transferred. So you like you have to be like you have to be careful, especially in terms of like foster homes and stuff like that because you know like the foster lady and like the agents,

the adoption agency that we got him from and everything. Like nobody knew that he had it. So he was just in. a house with like fucking 10 other cats, like some, some ladies like house that if all it takes is like one fight or like one scratch or something and then all these other cats could get it too and pass it on to other cats. So it's like it's, it's pretty dangerous. And I was pretty upset at the fact that like that wasn't the first thing that they did when they got him is to be like, yeah, let's just do the basic checks and make sure he's okay. Because I mean, that trip was like,

not only was I, I was fucking terrified because I'm like, yo, what the fuck? Like my cat has FIV. Like, what does that mean? It's also like, you know, okay, now I'm like, I'm like, I just lost like fucking, or I just paid like $1,500 for all this shit. And, you know, it's like, not that it would change it, you know, in terms of adopting. It's just someone could have prevent it the whole fucking thing. Exactly.

Yeah. It's like if somebody would have just done the fucking $70 test when they found them outside. then we would know and it would be like, okay, like, let's be, like, let's, you know, let's, like, take care of this. It's like, what if we had a cat that, what if we already had a cat that was, like, older? And then they got into a fight and then the older cat fucking got FIV and got sick and died. It's like, why wouldn't you do that, you know? But anyway, so, so we had that and they were like, you know, he'll be okay as long as, you know, as long as like nothing else happens. So, you know, like we brought him home. He was good for another month. And then he got

sick again. Same thing. He was doing the same shit. And I'm like, okay, I like, it's happening again, like whatever. So he took him in and they're like, okay, like he's, you know, like he has a fever again, like whatever. And they're like, like, we're going to test him for like a blood like mycoplasma, like blood infection type shit, which is like for the most part, like normal cats get this and they never have any symptoms and they're fine and it just goes away. But because he has a shitty immune system, it makes him feel like shit. So so we like we did that test. They're like, yep, he has a mycoplasma, like a mycoplasm, so, so you just have to give him, like, antibiotics to just get it out of his system. And we're like, okay, so we did that, and he was fine, and it went away.

And then, and then, like, one day, it happened again, and it was, like, same type of shit. And I took him in, and they were like, yeah, okay, like, we need to do more tests and stuff like that. And every time we're taking him in, this is, like, emergency vet scenario, like, we're taking him in. We're dropping minimum a thousand dollars. And, like, that's, like, base level and then they were like, you know, yeah, we don't know what, like, we're not sure what's going on, like, why he's getting these fevers, like, that are reoccurring. And, you know, like, we can't tell. So we took him. They were like, you need to go to the specialist vet hospital. So we took him there. And that was like another million dollars. And they basically said, like, yeah, so like the blood microplasma, like, mycoplasma is, is still there. So we're giving you a third round of antibiotics. And like, this will probably kill it. And, you. And, you. it'll be fine. And then they were like, yeah, but we should also do like an ultrasound and stuff and see, like do a full check to make sure that this guy's good.

So they did. And they found like, I guess when they did the, when they did the, um, the ultrasound, they found like nodes on his spleen and stuff, like little tumors. Um, but he's like, they think they're tumors. And so they were like, yeah, you know, like this could be cancer. It could be like lymphoma. It could be fucking nothing. thing, you know, but he was in such rough shape from being at the, like, just being at the vet.

Like, they were telling me on the phone. They're like, yeah, you know, like, because I can, obviously can't go in and see him because of fucking COVID. So I'm just like, and it's in Mississauga, which is like 40 minutes away. So I'm just at home, like, at home a fucking wreck. And they're like, you know, they're calling me saying, like, I don't know, like, you know, he hasn't eaten anything since he's been here. Like, you know, he's not even getting up to, like, go to the bathroom, he just like pisses on himself and stuff. And I'm just like, holy fuck, like, my cat's going to die. Like, this is, this is rough. So, so they finally call me and they're like, well, like, his fever's gone down and, you know, like, but he's still not doing well.

So they're like, you know, what do you want to do? Like, do you want us to do like a biopsy and, like, put them under and, like, get a, like, needle sample from one of the nodes and see if it is cancer and I'm like, okay, like, you know, I'm like, if it is, like, what do we do? Like, like, chemo, like, therapy stuff, like, for cats, like, does that work? And she was basically like, yeah, like, if he has cancer, like, with or without treatment, the prognosis is, like, the same. Like, you're pretty much going to get the same amount of time with him. So they're like, we can put him under, but he's already in pretty rough shape.

So if we put him under, there's a chance that he doesn't come back. And, you know, so they're like. They're like, if you want to just take him home and watch him and see how he is, like, that's probably the best option. And I'm like, okay, like, let's do that. And they gave him, like, the steroid that we give him every day still. But that was in fucking September. And he seems like, okay now, you know, with the steroid and stuff.

And as I've been reading it, like, reading through it more and more and stuff, like, it seems like there are things that could make nodes on the spleen that aren't cancer. and I guess it's kind of just like it's just like a time thing now where like you know if he if in a couple months from now if you know like middle of next year like if he's still around it's like well

I don't it probably wasn't fucking answer then because he would be dead if like by now at least by now if that was the case so it's kind of like a waiting game but anyway you know we went and picked him up and he was a fucking mess like he was like

it was so dad. Like, I literally, when I walked in and saw him, I thought for sure, I was like, I'm saying goodbye to my cat. Like, that's what, that's what's happening today. And he, like, wouldn't lift his head up and shit. And then as soon as I fucking took my stupid mask off, and he was, like, saw my, like, he saw my face and shit. Like, the other doctors, like, left. And I, like, pulled the thing off. And I was, like, given, I went in to kiss him and he saw me. And he, like, tried to jump off the table into my arms with an IV still in him. You know what I mean? And I was like, holy fuck, like, he's up. Like, this is good. The doctor. The doctor.

came in, she's like, this is insane. Like, look at him. Like, he's fucking, he's up. Like, I can't believe this. And so he took him home. And so it's like a fucking Disney film. I wanted to fight. I was like, oh, let's light in the mood. Let's light in the mood. Tell me about that cat. Oh, my cat has fucking cat

AIDS. So. Yeah, the dude, that's, and the crazy thing is like, that's what some of the vets were calling it. Like, they're like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, no fucking way. I swear to God. And yeah, like, that's what they that's what they were calling it. And I'm just like, holy fuck man like they're like they were straight up making me feel like he was gonna die on the phone

and i don't know i think part of it is just because like probably because he's like he probably thought like okay like well those two people that i was hanging out with for a couple months like don't want me anymore so i guess i'll just die and then when we came and got him it was like completely turned around and shit like now you know when right why don't you get in fucking weed shit what do you mean have you read into the Rick Simpson oil. Like, there's so much shit on the internet of people curing their cats and dogs cancer, like their tumours literally shrinking from full spectrum weed oil.

And it's 100% safe for animals. It would get you, it's the shit that fucking, I can't even fucking say. It's the shit that, like, people that we know that had cancer were taking. and was like visibly shrinking their tumours and there's loads of shit online of people like saving their cats and dogs lives

really I've never yeah okay after this you got to send it to me because that's fucking yeah it's called R SO oil and it's like such a fucking huge thing it's like it's THC and CBD it's like the whole fucking thing but it's such a huge thing

that you can buy it in dispensaries now in like a syringe but it's so fucking strong that like for humans it's fucking insane that you have to take it the way you do it for humans

to like kill cancer is you take like a tiny speck of it and then you build yourself up to like a grain of rice amount of it and then you take that like four times a day and someone that we knew

that did it was like the first time they did it was like just fucking tripping because it was just just insane that that's the only thing that that would scare me is like if he starts like freaking out being like no but apparently for cats and dogs apparently the cats and dogs they just like go to the fridge they get a fucking mountain dew and some yeah exactly they fucking apparently they're fine they load up fortnight and they're like all right i'm fucking who cares but they put on um fucking they put on half baked oh yeah sit there

they fucking grateful dead on just yeah you know the classics the fucking the classic shit you know they got there they obviously they try and sync up like the Pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz you know we all have to try it

yeah yeah but and then I don't the only thing other thing about it on a serious note is they have to take it 20 past four every day yes of course yeah that's the final part of it yeah I mean what like well what

it's like you do 4.20 a.m., 8.40 a.m. So that's one at 420, then 3 at 820 because it's double, or sorry, 840. Yeah. And then you do it again in the PM. And then you can do it again at 40 to 5. Oh, yes. Took me a minute. I was like, wait a minute, what?

It's so insane. It took too long for me to even think of that. 40 to 45. What are you drinking? coffee you got there. Anyway, so your cat's fucked, but it's better now. We're going to cure it with the fucking oil. I'm going to try, yeah. Yeah, like I'm, dude, at this point, I don't give a fuck.

Like, I've, like, I've already spent. You're in a legal state anyway, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah. Yeah, like, I'm the whole country. Like, I can just get it and it comes from the government to my mailbox. I wish I enjoyed it. Same. Dude, same here.

I wish I loved getting fucking high, but I don't. I pretty much only like drinking and that's it. And I guess my life is kind of... I just went for a period. I went for a period where I was like, okay, I like smoking weed now. And then I went through a period of anxiety. And now I just have anxiety.

And weed is just off the menu. You haven't tried to reach strain, bro. Yeah. I fucking have it. Was it Indica Satira fucking? Indica is like, it's going to help you, bro. Yeah. And that just makes me hate it.

But when I'm like, when I see people who just smoke it in a good time, I'm like, fucking Mikey. I just see Mikey. And I'm like, you are loving being in this van for 17 hours. Yeah. It's fucking, I'm so jealous of that. Like, I wish so bad that I loved it. Like, I mean, like, my, my girlfriend's like that.

Like, she smokes all the time. She, like, loves it, like, makes her, you know, put her in a good mood. You have red, red wine, you know, blasting. We got, you know, we got one of those posters, the black light posters. It's like a, it's like a big mushroom and there's a bunch of gnomes around it. And as an alien, take me to your dealer. Yeah, that, yep. And then I put on my, I put on my shirt that says if you see the police warn a brother.

And I, you know, and what are the other, you know, some, any, I put on my cookie monster, new era fitted hat. That's fucking huge. Jesus Christ. With the, with the sticker still on it. Now we get into a whole thing. And you know what the thing with the people that look like that, or they looked like that. Yeah.

I'm talking like early 2000s, MySpace people. Didn't they all have exactly the same bathroom? The same mirror and the same scene? And the same fucking garbage all around the sink. All over the big like worktop that it's the same color as the walls. Yep. Like a weird yellowy thing. Like who was the guy that was like,

yo, ask you girl what my dick taste. Rata-ta-ta-da. Do you remember that guy? You never saw that guy? Oh, yeah. TikTok before. Brian Silva. That was his name.

TikTok before TikTok. Now he's a gay porn star. The skinny guy. Yes. Yeah. I saw that. Yeah. that was that was like a

that's like a pretty nice like story I think job I think like watching him like watching him do that and like because I remember he was like he was like the vine guy or whatever it was so big and then he started doing that

and then you know people were like making fun of him and he was like no like that's not me like fuck off you know what I mean like all that shit and then eventually one day he's just like yeah it's me Fuck it's me. I love dicks. Yeah. Like, what like, what do I care? Like, fuck off. And then everyone's, it's just like watching somebody just like publicly get comfortable with that. I'm just like, hey, man, good for you. That fucking rocks. Like that's- He didn't do anything, I mean, as far as I'm aware, he didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, that's the other thing. Like, you never know, like, maybe he, you know, maybe he's like a fucking bad, bad man now

or something, or maybe he did some fucked up shit. But I'm saying, like, in terms of publicly watching somebody, like, come to terms and be comfortable with and embrace who they are. It's, I love it. You know what I mean? It's a, it's a lovely thing to watch. Just making the gun noises after saying the most insane shit. Yeah.

the most insane shots that you fitted that's the one that was the one that's the fucking that's the one me and Josh went for a phrase of just doing that

at the end of anything yeah I'm just gonna go I gotta go to the shop do you want anything grata fucking uh like that that's your sign off

like how we have like be I be safe like that's the basic thing it's just like you know the show ends like oh thanks for coming guys like yo thanks so much for coming out tonight

like we'll be back soon like in the mic I went through a phase of I wanted to like anytime something serious happened I wanted to just do an 808 with my voice like fuck me you're joking

yeah but it's like you your fight or fly activates your dick goes small and you're not thinking about 808s when bad shit happens exactly it's like I need like

I need pre-warning like someone says I'm about to tell you some bad news and I go oh we have some we have some bad news like you might want to take a seat. You might want to take it.

When you guys in bad news, you might want to take a sub-drop. That is so fucking funny. Like, we need to start doing that to people. Like, whenever someone's like, all right, like, do you want the good news or the bad news? Yeah, I'm just thinking about. And they're like, oh, so bad news then? Okay. We'll start with that.

Oh, fuck. And then they go, oh, it's not that bad. Oh, man, relax. It's not that bad. It's not like that. You want the good news or the bad news? Oh, shit. That's really bad news.

The subs. The subs are fucking breaking. They're clipped. Like, oh, you clip the fucking subs. What would the good, what would the good news version of that be? Like, I'm trying to think of, like, in terms of, you know, like,

like touring world. What's the, oh, fucking CO2. Like the fucking CO2, like the cryos. shit, yeah. So what if it's... Good news or the bad news? That's, yeah, that's what I can think of. Because

when the cryo goes off, no one's really fighting, but like the 808, it's like, that's breakdown. Okay, people fight. But the only time... You're going to have like, like, medium news. It's just like, you just say, like a China.

Yeah, just... Is it... Well, you know, it's not good news and it's not bad news. But... Okay, what is it? thing. Yeah.

What is it? The breakdown's coming next. Oh. Oh. Fuck. We spoke to Will. He doesn't like the breakdown in the end of the song.

That is so, it's so fucking dumb, but need to start doing that. I can't wait. Yeah, just it needs to be preempted because you can't,

like someone can't come up and you go, oh, by the way, you're fucking. Your cat's got FIV. You know what I mean? That's not the first thing that's going through my head.

Yeah, exactly. But if they said, bad news about the cat and then you can go yeah there you go the vet's just like i'm sorry did you just hum what what was that what was that thing and you're like oh sorry i forgot you know what you didn't tour you didn't tour with an spd yes oh yeah no it's actually yeah i understand it's been so long since i've been on tour two that i almost forgot about them yeah so i trained because of COVID. Because of COVID, I trained to be a veterinary nurse.

So actually, it's been so long. But yeah, I do remember. We used an releases, though, not an SPDS. And ours was more of a sort of, we used a bass slide, which are guitarist pitch-shifted down on a pedal. And then we ran that through it. But yeah, okay, I get it. Anyway, your cat has eight.

Yeah, your cat's not doing too hot. Oh, okay. But good news is it could just be a fatty, deposit. But that fatty deposit means their life might be cut short by like one year. Yeah. That's it. It's done.

I'm not even sure if when I do the CO2 noise, if it even picks up through this fucking noise suppressor thing. What is this? I do the noise suppress it. Oh, no. You can see it. You can see it. All right.

I don't know how loud it'll be. So it's like the graphics card I have in my computer, it's like the NVIO. it's like the Nvidia like RTSX series and so they came out with this thing Razor Trip

Extreme Let's play Raid Shadow Legends Um they uh so it's like they made they made this like software

for streaming it's called just it's called Nvidia broadcast and it has like it's got like a noise suppressor thing for your mic

and it's got a fucking uh for your like background you use that and not OBS? Uh No, sorry, like you use it, like, I use OBS to stream, but then like you, it's like, and video broadcast is just this thing.

Like, if you have an RTS or like graphics card, like any of them, they have like, I don't know, I guess there's like, there's like part on the card. So it's like, you know how you can encode a video for like you can either use your processor or your graphics card? Yeah. So it's similar to that where it's like it'll use parts of your graphics card that aren't being used. And it's just like an AI type thing.

like you can you can use it for like they have just it's i don't know it's just like a little fucking tool like hey streamer like download this like it'll give you a noise gate for your mic and it'll blur your fucking background in your webcam like that type of shit so so i like so i got it just does it even if you load your shit into obs that's already running yeah yeah exactly so it's like when you open it up it'll say like what microphone do you want to have the noise suppression on and you just pick like whatever mic you use and then and it'll be like webcam, like whatever. And then when you go into stream labs,

it'll have, it'll be like, oh, choose the microphone that you want to record with and it'll say NVIDIA broadcast. So you use that instead of... I need to just switch to PC because everything just sounds

so much fucking simpler. Like the workaround to use OBS on a Mac is fucking insane. You need like, you need to like run the fucking... the shit through a fake screen to then run it back into OBS and by that point my process

is just like, nope, I've got fucking cat aids. There's no way I'm gonna fucking do this. Dude, straight up, it's a fucking, it's a fucking nightmare. That's what I feel like, I feel like there's also, like, you know, there's other shit you can do too to where it's like if you build a PC

that is solely for streaming and stuff, like you can still do all the shit that you do on your Mac and then just like, it to the streaming PC to have it. You know what I mean? Like that... Yeah, I think that's the plan that I'm going to do.

And then you also just have a PC to like, then you could put your fucking games on there and shit. And you could just use that if you're not doing anything music related. So that's the thing, because I don't play that many games. So the thought of, like, when everyone's like, get a PS5, I'm like, really like fucking Spider-Man? I want to fucking play Spider-Man. I don't give a goddamn shit.

I'll play Call of Duty, which would be better with. the fucking mouse and keyboard anyway. Yes. And then I might play some fucking other shit. Exactly, yes. So it makes more sense financially to like spend a little bit more on the streaming PC which will then still be able to play games. Yeah, I mean that to like it like it really just depends on what I don't know.

I mean, I guess like what what you're comfortable with. Like some people like don't want a PC and they just want an Xbox or PS5 or whatever. And it's like, okay, sure. But for me, I'm like, I don't know. Like there's so much shit that you can do with with the PC that isn't related to games. And then like you can also like, yeah, it's more expensive up front. But then I don't know, like I use it for so much other shit. And it's like, oh, and also I can I can just get a game and play it on here if I have a decent video card.

and then, you know, oh, like, you don't like using mouse and keyboard, like, okay, take your fucking controller that you already have and plug it into the fucking USB and it works and just use that. You know what I mean? And then you can, you can just do it. And that, like, to me, it makes more sense, but like, like, my brother, like, even Kenny, like, he bought, like, the Xbox, the Xbox and I'm like, you have a gaming PC. Like, you could have, instead of spent, like, it's like, you could have bought a $500.

Yeah, it's like you could have spent 500 bucks and got. a good, like a, like the crazy new video cards that they have out now, and you could play any game, and it'll be better than if it was on the Xbox, you know what I mean? But some people, some people just like it. So I'm like, all right, yeah, fair enough. I just kind of, I just don't give a fuck. And I go through phases where I just don't play games for, I haven't played fucking anything for two months right now.

I do the same thing. But I make podcasts and I've streamed and I've made videos. videos and whatever, which I could be doing on a PC instead of where I am right now on a fucking sofa, like with a fucking MacBook and a bunch of shit set up. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And also waiting to move to move house and have like a set up. So it's just there. Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I feel like I think there's a way to do it in terms of like anything that you're getting audio-wise, like you can do it on Mac and then just run it to the to the PC. And then, you know, so it's like you don't have to, you know, it's not like, like what you were saying today when you're like, yeah, like in logic or whatever, it's like, yeah, like I, like, I don't think you can even get logic on on Windows. So it's like, like, yeah, rather than, you know, rather than being like, okay, like I got to learn fucking a whole new like software type thing. It's like, like, just keep it on the Mac. And then as far as I know, it's like a, you know, maybe a capture card. Maybe it's a single fucking, fucking cord.

I don't know, but you just plug it into the PC and you're like, that that's, you know, that's. You point to it and you're like, there's the audio. Like, you tell the PC, like, get the auto from this thing instead. And then you're just good, you know? But that's the thing. Yeah, I've got this Mac and it's still fucking work. So I can just do, I don't even use that logic for that much shit. But it's like if we back and forth songs and we'll put me.

Of course, yeah. Logic. And I don't want to be the guy. Imagine like, I don't think I could ever change phone. I don't think I could go fucking Android phone. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like green text shit. Yeah, it's just so, it's so.

it's so like, you know, it's, it's just second nature now. So it's like, you know, having to relearn and redo everything. It's just like, you know, why? Like if, you know, it's like, if you can do both, just fucking have both, you know. And like, don't get me wrong. Drum streams on my phone and they're sick because I fucking plug that shit in. I ain't changing. Oh, you get the fucking, I can get 500 channels and then cast it to my TV.

Yeah, exactly. I got a fucking Netflix. I'm fine. Yeah, you're good. Like, you can... I don't need to watch your questionable shit. For sure. Yeah, it's...

I would say that, doing that, like, getting the PC... Just, I mean, just having both, it's like, then you can... You can do anything. You know what I mean? It's not like... I don't know. If it's like, like, OBS or something, you're like, yeah, I do that on the windows. And then logic, you're like, yeah, obviously, that's Mac.

And then there's, you know, there's obviously ways to... to set. them up and to get to make them talk to each other and get what you need off one to the other. I don't, I don't know off the top of my head how to do that. Like, I couldn't tell you how to do it right now. But there's fucking, there's ways to do anything with it. You know, like Kyle literally has a fucking computer that's Windows and Mac at the same time. It's just like, you can do it.

I mean, I kind of wanted to do that, but it's so fucking expensive and then you can't update the Mac side of it. But then realistically, do I want to? Anyway, I don't want to think about this because I can't be bothered and we started the podcast like this. When a gig's coming back, what are you doing? I don't. Fuck, man.

I have no idea. I have no idea when they're coming back. I don't fucking care. I think. I don't know. I'm kind of at that point where I was really upset and now I'm just like, ah, fuck it. I don't give a shit.

Like come, play, come back, don't. I don't fucking care. I'll figure it out. Really? I feel like I'm better now because I know. know they're coming back. Like, because I'm just like... Yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's good. Like, and I do miss it. As much as I make

fun of it, I do miss it. But I think, like, the... One of the coolest things that happened to me this year was, like, I spent... I don't know, like, since I fucking graduated, I've been touring. So it's like, like, like, you know, I spent the last, like, 11 fucking years being like, what am I going to do? I don't know. Like, if I can't do the band, I can't do nothing. Like, I'm fucking worthless. And then this happened. And I'm like, well, no, there's like shit I can do. You know what I mean? It's like, and I always thought that that was like,

worst case scenario is like not being able to play music for a living. And I'm like, no, like, I'll still be fine. And now that makes me feel better in terms of like, you know, music, like doing music as a whole because it's like, okay, now I can be, you know, for lack of a better word. It's like, now I can be a real fucking bitch about it. Like, I can be a diva now. I really think that when shit comes back, like, no one's taking any shit.

Like, oh, we need to, we need to merch, right? You can fuck right off. Yeah. And that's like, that's what I've been, I've been, like, trying to explain that to people lately, like, or like, you know, like, people in, like, within our network, you know what I mean? Whatever you want to call it, where it's like, like, don't get me wrong. Like, I'm still, I'm still, like, grateful. in a sense that I'm still, I am very fortunate to, we all are to be able to like have, like, oh, what's your main fucking thing that you do with your life?

Like, I play you to a fucking breakdown. Like, that's really cool. But, but, but, but when you, I don't know, man. Like I, I, and like, I've, I've kind of talked to Tom about this too where it's just like, man, like, I, like, coming back, like, like I said, for lack of a better word, like, I'm going to be a fucking diva. Like, not that I'm going to be like. an asshole but it's just like you know I feel like all of us like we've we put up with like so much

fucking shit and it was like a saw-cone syndrome yeah dude exactly where it's just like you know oh like oh like you're you know you're gonna do fucking this or like you know some booking agents like you're going to play two shows in one day and the drive six hours apart and like you know and like that type of stuff and just like you know venues being like oh like you know I know that you want to do this, but we don't do it like that. And it's just like, okay, like I guess I can't bring in a fucking water bottle that I had from outside. Everyone's just comfortable now with being at home and they're like, okay, the world is still ticking over. So when it comes up and it's like, okay, so you have this six week European festival run and you only share three weeks of it

with another band, which would mean that you could have a bus. So you're going to have to do it in a van. And then the answer will be, I'm going to stay at home and make podcasts and Twitch. Or we do the three weeks with the other band. Or how about this? You tell the other three weeks worth of venues to go fuck themselves. And they can have neither band or both bands. Or make a fucking liar. Tom's flying home for three weeks.

So we need the guy from the other band to fill in. Exactly. Yeah, there you go. I was told you were going home and you couldn't fuck off. Yeah. Shut up. We're here now. I'm on a sweet bus and I'm having a lovely time with my friends.

Exactly. That's, that is exactly going to be my, like, that's going to be my exact attitude moving forward where it's like, you know, beforehand it would be like, you know, like, there's this fucking, you know, yeah, like you said, like, you're over, you're like, you have to do this five week euro run and you're getting paid dog shit. because, you know, it's like, oh, you're playing some huge fucking festival and you're getting like 100 euros and that won't cover fucking gangs to get to the next one. And, you know, you're playing at noon and fucking, you need to have. But if you do well on merch, you have one shirt. Yeah, if you do well in merch selling your one fucking shirt competing with fucking Metallica, like, yeah, oh, we might, maybe we'll do well in merch.

Like, that type of shit. And so, like, going forward, it's, it's like, it's it's like liberating to be able to like i've finally realized that i can just say no like when we get that shit or you know when it's like oh you know like there's this tour offer and it fucking sucks and you know you don't like the bands and their fans aren't going to like you and the money's bad but like it's better than nothing it's like now i'm like no actually i've done nothing i'm like no it's not nothing rocks like i used to be scared of nothing now I love it.

And I think that that's, you know, yeah, like I said, like coming back and shit, like we all saw the fucking live nation shit where they're like, yeah, you know, like, COVID hurt us pretty bad too. And then when shows come back, like, we're going to ask bands to take a, you know, to take a fucking percentage decrease and stuff. It's just like, okay, like, I'm not, then I won't go. Like, simple as that. Like, oh, you know.

Everyone will have worked out their side hustle by the time. time everything comes back. Yes. To the point where, for the most part, maybe not like the mega stars, but they're going fucking, they'll be fine on royalties and they'll be fine taking the cut from fucking Live Nation. Yeah. And it's like, you know, like I don't get me wrong too. Like I understand, you know what I mean? Like if, I don't know, if a promoter's like, oh, hey, we were going to pay you fucking, I don't know, like $2,000 for this thing. But like now we can only, like after everything, we can really only afford to pay you like 1,500.

It's like that like it sucks, but I like I understand that they're fucking people too. I'm not talking about like big companies and shit. Like I'm not talking about like billion dollar fucking agencies. I'm talking about like, you know, some dude being like, yeah, I don't know, man. Like I just don't have enough money and that's literally all I can offer you. It's like, okay, like is it going to be fun? Like then yeah, I'm still fucking. I'm still down to do it.

Of course. Because that's like at the end of the day like, you know, it is like it has to be one or the other. either be fun or it has to be profitable. And if it's not one or the other, like, I just don't want to do it. And up until this point, there's been many times where it's been neither. And I've felt like I had to do it. And now I can just go, like, no, I don't fucking want to. Like, I don't want to fucking do it.

So kiss my ass. The counterpart is confirmed never playing Italy ever again. Dude, hey, yo, honestly, Italy fucking loves us. Our shows in Italy fucking rock. Like, they are nuts. and I don't, because a lot of people are like, yeah, the show's kind of stink, whatever. I'm just like, I don't know what their deal is there,

but they like us for some reason. It's, it's like, you know what? It's just, I feel like day before and the drive there is always shit. And then more often than not when you're on the up, the show also is not great. So then it just has this stigma. and admittedly I've bought into the stigma there,

but it was just for a funny joke. I'm sorry, I love you. And it is a joke. I love, and I, you know, we all love jokes. But to be honest, like, you know, there's, like, our shows in Italy, like, maybe up until recently, probably would do better than any show we would play in, like, Germany.

Or fucking... No. Like, what kind of fucking music are you playing? Italian folk music. Yes. Yeah. Tarantella... Like that fucking pirate song that that everyone said was a pirate song.

It's not a fucking pirate song. It's not a fucking pirate song. It's an Italian song. But, but yeah, like, I, like,

I, like, I, like, our last, our last couple, our last couple of German shows, like,

Germany shows were, like, fucking sick. And, like, you know, they were, like,

packed. So I'm like, okay. But, like, two years ago, like, if we were playing Milan versus,

you would hate it. Munich, like, Milan was fucking, like, we were, we're, you know, double the crowd, which is, which is nuts, but it's fucking insane. And that's kind of my thing.

It's like, I don't know. I don't, I don't really have like a, I don't have a preference. Like, I just want to go where I know people are going to come and they like us. You know what I mean? It's like. Where's your worst place? I mean, like, I got like probably, like, if we're talking like real, like, because I could say like, fucking, you know, Saskatoon or Thunder Bay or some shit. And it's like, yeah, obviously.

But like, real. spots like I mean probably as a whole probably like mainland Europe still like I think I think that's where our like our band is the smallest but they are like I said like the first time we did this you know like however long ago it was it was like you know it was still not there and now I will say it's there so it's like hey look at it's the stigler is still there look at me Europe. I've, you know, you changed my mind. I've, and I thank you for it. You finally like us now, and I appreciate it. But still, like, it's, I would say, like, if any continent, like, if we're playing a show, where's, like, the fewest amount of people are going to come, like, strictly

ticket sales, like, I would say there, yeah, probably. Like, that's probably it. As opposed to, like, Canada, America, fucking Australia. Maybe Japan, but it's like, but, you know, Japan, you're playing in, like, a 50-cap venue and the show don't fucking matter. The ramen fucking matters. It's the best place on Earth. So that's fine. Speaking of Thunder Bay, and then I'm going to have to call the podcast because I'm running out of

an airport battery. I'm running out of fucking back. I had to switch one. The old switch route. Speaking of Thunder Bay, remember when we stayed in that hotel, both bands, and there was the fire alarm in the middle of the night? Was that with you guys? I don't know.

I remember we stayed, like, we stayed together because I'm pretty sure we, like, us and Tom, we went to, um, we went to the casino because that's like all. Yeah, but then there was a fire alarm at like fucking 5 a.m. and everyone had to get out of the hotel. Oh, yeah. Me and Tom just didn't do it. And they were like, they came and knocked on our door because it was a real fire alarm. And we were just like sat there with the noise. Yeah, like, I'm not going outside. I'm so comfortable. Kiss my ass. There's no way. There's no way anyone's going outside. And we finally went outside.

It was like, oh, this is an entire hotel's worth of people. Was that not the day that the next day we woke up and... The conga line? Yes, I was going to say, we were all at the van and there was the fucking conga line outside.

And then we started doing it. And then they were like, came over and they're like, why were they doing it? I feel like it's got to be one of those like get active old people type. But it was just a conga. Yeah. They weren't like running.

It wasn't a run conga, a wronger. And we were just, we were just fucking doing it back. And then I remember the lady coming over and being like, what are you guys doing? And we're like, oh, you play music. I'm rocks only son, fresh out of hot topic. I just met these guys. Now we're on the road. That you've got to explain.

What the hell is rocks only son? What does that mean? I don't know. In my head. Johnson's my daddy? No, in my, in my head, it's, like what a tabloid newspaper would say about like whoever the biggest rock star is right now like the only son of rock and rock so i just thought it was funny to call you that god that yeah because

yeah i've heard it i've heard it a lot today and i'm just like i don't think i know what i mean i said it i mean i don't think it actually means anything i said it earlier on in the podcast and then now when i say it i visualize like the national inquirer when you've like i had to Too many... How had too many drinks. Yeah. Had too many drinks. It's like,

Rock's only sun hits rock bottom. And now Rock's only son sweeping hair and doesn't give a fuck about your merch rate. And he's not going to play Bavaria or your two festivals in one day. Unless it's making two festival money. Unless I'm getting paid fucking $5,000 for both of them, then, yeah, of course, you have to be an idiot not to. But when it's like...

Okay, well, this one's going to pay you 200 euros and the next one's going to pay you three. And I'm like, how about I just, how about I just go to the bank and take out 500 euros and just give it to the band and have a day off? Because I'll do that instead. I feel like what I will do is, so I got the Patreon going for the podcast. Yep. Yep. Which is currently like, it's pretty good. It's paying for the new place where the drum streams and the podcast will be in video and stuff. but if it keeps growing,

which I would love it to, I might just fucking, like if it grows super big, I would just, if we had a tour where it's like, oh, we're going to be, you know,

this much short of a bandwagon. I'd just be like, fuck it. Patreon pays for the bandwagon. Yeah, dude, like, of course, that's, you know,

that's, there's, like, I don't know what it is. Like, I'm sure it's, there's a lot of different things that go into it,

but it's like, like, like, For me personally, it's the combination of like just how long I've been like doing this and, you know, like basically like sucking shit out of the fucking toilet while doing it. So now I'm like, okay, like it was like a decade of like crap before it was comfortable. And now I'm like also like I like being at home now. So that's working against it.

And also like I'm fucking 29 and I'm like, bro, like I don't know. Like I'm not sleeping on fucking floors. I'm not, I'm, I'm, like, I'm, when I was 18, it's like, oh, yeah, I make fucking, I make five grand a year. This is funny. It's like, it is funny. But now I'm like, oh, you know what I mean? I'm like, hey, like, I, yeah, I want to, I want to be an adult too. I want to have a fucking house and shit.

And like, I want, I want to be able to, like, afford what to help my cat when he gets sick and stuff and not have to, you know, yeah. But, but it's like, there's just so many things working against it now where it's like, And I don't know, and I think a lot of us, too, like, a lot of people in bands and shit, like, you kind of forget that the people that are, like, working for your band, like, they're working for your band. Like, you're not, they don't, you don't work for them. They're not, they're not saying. And they're also working for fucking 50, no, between 10 and 50 other bands, all pulling in that

money for them. Of course, yeah. So it's like, I don't know. And, like, don't get me wrong. It's not, I'm not saying that, like, our manager or fucking label or booking agent, are like, you know, running us fucking, like on empty and fucking... They suggest stuff and for the most part we say yeah, because we're fucking just like, yeah, I guess so.

Exactly, yeah. Whereas now we can be like, you know, I guess like... Maybe just way up how that lines up with me being on my fucking couch. Okay, that's going to be a no for that one. Yeah, yeah. Whereas before I'd be like, oh, we're going to go right from this tour into this tour and then I'm, you know, I'm going to be gone for three months like, okay, like if that's what I have to do, I guess that's what I have to do. And now,

you know what I mean? Now I can go like, well, if it, if that's how it has to be, then we'll move shit around and we'll postpone it then because I can't do that. Like, I'm not doing that now. And, you know, in my head, I think that's definitely still going to come back because sometimes that's just what happens, isn't it? Of course, of course. But we got the little fucking ace in the whole little baby Williams coming up. So in my head. head, I'm like, there's no way Tom's going to want to be on tour for three months in a row. Of course. He's wanting to see that little fucking Tamagotchi grow. So I'm pretty confident our touring is going to be like real nice in terms of scheduling.

Yes. Yeah. And that's and like that that's kind of what I was talking to Tom about where it was just like, we were talking about that stuff where it's like, yo, like for example, like, what was it? Like when the year that we did the pure noise tour and like, like, I don't know, last year, I think, like, private room and shit like that. It's like we, we did three, like, U.S. tours in one year. And it's just like, and, and then the pure noise tour and the fucking private room 2.0 thing. It was like those, like some of the shows, it was like we were playing the same city like less than a month apart. So it's just like. Oh, shit.

Yeah. It's like, it's like that is so fucking dumb. Same venue, same city, different bands, like less than a month. the part and it's just like, I don't want to do that anymore because doing it's like, yeah, like it's good for shit to do. And it's like, yeah, you can, you know, you want to stay busy and you want to do the shit. And, you know, the more you're gone, the more money you make. But it's like, at some point, it has to level out to where it's like, okay, we can either

play, you know, the same fucking 500 cap venue in L.A. three times in one year or we play it once a year and we do it in a fucking thousand cap or something. And it's like, there you go. like doesn't it like at a certain point they have to it has to equal out to being the same thing surely and that is what fucking massive bands do yeah exactly like they've been doing it right the whole time they yeah it's like it's it's almost like we were wrong and there's a reason why they're successful you know what i mean like now give me that fucking streaming money give me my

fucking streaming check exactly it's like dude when they do their tours it's like yeah they do a world tour and they're gone for fucking three four months and they do it all back to back and then the rest of the year they're home. And it's like, oh, novel fucking idea. Like, that's, why aren't we doing that? You know what I mean? Like, why aren't we just doing one tour where it just get it all out of the way you're gone for so long and then you're just like, all right, now I'm home for fucking eight months in a row. And, and I mean, I feel like I would rather the opposite. I'd rather one month on one month off forever. Sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, like, don't get me wrong. Like, now I would, I feel like I'm saying.

that a lot. Now I would prefer one month on, one month off. I feel like we just do that regardless. Like that's kind of just how we've always tried to do it. But back in the day, when like, you know, I didn't have my own place or a girlfriend or a fucking cat or anything. And I was just like, yeah, I'm fucking down to go for as long as I want. Like, that's when you should have been doing

it. But... Yeah. I mean, we do... The last few years, we would do three months on, three months off pretty much. And it did get fucking, I would play like shit towards the end. And then my mind would go to shit before the end of the three months. I think now I'm more capable with having three months off. Three months compared to this fucking two years is fucking nothing.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. Fucking nothing. But I'll take, I would love two months on, two months off. Yeah, I think that would be, I think that'd be sick. Yeah. Be glorious. I'm not the time to like come back, chill, do something, get into the swing of it, then come back.

Yeah. Just just at the point where you're like, okay, this stinks now. Like now I'm pissed off. It's like you go home and you recharge and then right when it's like kind of fucking bored. Like kind of wish I was in a fucking moving box like going from city to city. It's like, okay, then you go on tour again. And then you do that and you never get sick of it because I don't know. like we've been like us you guys like everyone it's like we've just been touring so much

like throughout the year that it's like i don't know i feel like this break for me it's been good because it's like i you know i'm like i'll be recharged enough whenever touring comes back to be like yeah you know what i actually think i might enjoy going on tour again i think that'll be fun so and it's also like a little a little peek at how not being on tour, like when you're old and you can't tour. Like, oh, I'm not going to just fucking kill myself. Yes. Dude, that's like, like I said, for the longest time, that's what I thought.

That was my biggest fear was like, man, if I can't play music, like, I'm fucked. Like, I don't know what I'm going to do for money. I don't know what I'm going to do to keep myself sane. And then, you know, this has, like, this whole thing has been like a crash course in like, this is fucking normal people life like one day this is going to be all you know so figure it out and then I have so I'm just like okay like now it's not the worst thing in the world so now I feel it's like we said like with the whole you know me like going nuts on Twitter lately and just like being completely unhinged and stuff it's like like I'm gonna operate the band that

way too because it's like I'm just gonna we're like now I don't care it's like if we do what we want and people don't like it. I'm like, oh, okay, like, oh, what are you going to do? Like, stop listening to us and we're going to break up. Yeah, same. Like, I don't fucking care. Like, do it then. Like, I don't give a shit. Like, I'm here to have fun and that's it. And that's, like, me joking around and saying dumb shit and, you know, making this kind of music. Your Twitter is absolute fucking gold at the moment. It's unbelievable. It's like five or six genuine lulls from me a day. I love it. And the dumbest shit. yeah dude and i think i think the hoodie thing really really like kicked it into gear where it was

just like you know fuck you guys like but yeah like that shit i was just kind of like you know what like like you know fuck fuck being like doing the professional thing it's like yeah don't get me wrong if i'm fucking talking to somebody and and the and the the situation calls for it and i have to be professional like obviously i know how to do it but for the most part, it's like, it really drove at home that I'm like, this is, this is fucking screaming music and I, I'm not going to be serious. Like, I'm just going to have, I'm just going to have fun.

You know what I mean? And when people were freaking out about the hoodie and shit, and I was fucking, and I was like, just giving it straight back. And I was just giving it to him. And, you know, and then people were getting upset. And they're like, wow, like, this is how you like talk to fans and stuff like that. It's like, you, you, you started it.

You started it. with when we did a bunch of fucking championship and it was a US release and then people were like oh the shipping the do you're fucking and I was like oh sorry I think I remember that yeah like I remember oh sorry I set the postage price

so we can get more money from whatever like it's still cheaper if you got it delivered to the UK it's a champion fucking hoodie which is more expensive in the UK anyway and then some some kids were like this is how you talk to your fans. You don't deserve the platform that you've got. Because you're complaining about the logistics of the US Postal Service at me, and I'm saying that's dumb, I don't deserve.

That's not my problem. I didn't make this system. The way you talk to fans. What am I supposed to do? I'm really sorry about the US Postal Service and their fees and import charges and customs. And therefore, I guess capitalism in general. and income tax, all sorts of things. I'm very sorry.

Please, please continue to fucking stream my music for 0.00 fucking 86p. Yeah, it's, it's my fault. Like, yeah, that's, I was talking about it the other day, like, a friend of mine was posting, like, like, we need, like, bands need to start, like, roasting people back more. And I'm like, I love it. I'm like, yo, I'm fucking here for it. I'm like, hey, man, like, I've been doing it. And, you know, and then, but, like, that's what you get.

Like if somebody, like when people, like when fucking us and, uh, knock loose like did the fucking did like the you're not blue anymore shirt or whatever. And like, you know, and people were like, oh, like. And it's like, okay, fair. I guess like because of the election and shit like that. It was like, like, you know, blue, red, whatever. Like maybe it wasn't timed properly. Like I'll give people that. But I don't know. Like fans of the band were like commenting on it being like, oh, So, like, what does this mean politically? It's like, it rhymes. It's cute. It's a cute joke. It's their album and our album. And you are dumb if you don't understand that. And then people are like, oh, well, you picked the wrong time to do this.

And it's like, no, I didn't. I'm not even from your country. Like, I watch a fucking Robin Williams movie. Calm down. Have some funnies. Flubber. Fucking get off the internet. You know, death to snoochie.

Do something. But, but, yeah, like, and then I was like, you know, obviously giving it back. And then, yeah, it's like, like you said. And then people go like, oh, you know, like, you're an asshole. Like, this is how you talk to fans and stuff. It's like, dude. You don't deserve to be sweeping a floor right now. Yeah.

Hey, bro. You don't deserve this platform that's allowing you to fucking have to sweep. I know you take some of the hair home and you fucking eat it. And you don't get, and you shouldn't be able to do that. but I don't know it's like listen like never I would say like for the most part for most of my life me being rude has never been a me first thing it's always like someone's rude to me and then I'm rude back and it's like so you're telling me that like you know people are like oh I can't believe you talk to your fans like this and the way people support you and it's like well

it's like it's literally like being on the fucking playground I'm like they started it like they they they you know somebody could be like you oh i hate your band sucks now a new record fucking stinks you fucking kill yourself bastard bitch fucking you know you should break up like that shit and then i'm like yo like kiss my ass you fucking loser like oh sorry like go listen to fucking i'm like oh yeah your band's fucking doing well right now so fuck off and then they're like wow like can't believe you would talk to me like that it's like you not 30 seconds ago you told me that I deserve to die because you don't like your new record and I call you

like a fucking loser and I'm the bad guy. It's like, get the fuck out of here. My one thing that it's like hard not to tell so it stops me from going quite so far in on people. Like I can't remember the other day I posted something. Oh,

it's like just a funny tweet where I was in the gym and there was a guy sat next to the bench that I was using, waiting for me to do it. And I like tweeted. I was if this guy doesn't fucking move away from this bench

I'm gonna fucking hit him and it was like just a funny little bent for sure yeah some girl came in real hot like oh because violence is the answer

why don't you fucking move if you don't like it and I was like I replied and was like are you aware that there's a pandemic and I'm talking about the fact that I'm in a gym

and there's a man sweating on me yeah next next to me he's within the world health organizations do not do amount of distance. So I'm venting my frustration.

She was like, violence isn't going to solve anything. Maybe you're the problem and all this fucking shit. And then I started like, I think I retweeted it. And then I like, went in a little bit.

And then I was like, oh, then I just worry like, what if she's not all like? Like, yeah, she's not fully like sound. What is wired differently? Yes, for sure.

I don't know what the legit way to say that without being offensive. And I just worry. That's, and that like, yeah, that's a real fucking, that's a real thing too, that you have to be, you know, or if like someone asks a dumb question and you're like, yo, like, what are you fucking dumb? And then they're like, oh, yeah, like, actually I am. Or like, or they just, or they like, they just genuinely don't know. And then it's like, okay. Don't me that's ever happening. No.

Oh, you fucking dumb. Oh, actually. Of course not. But, but that's the thing is like. you know sometimes you fucking sometimes you'll like like I've I've had it where it's like someone will like literally be joking and then I go back at them and I'm like yo like fuck out of here you fucking dumb ass and then they're like dude I'm kidding around and then it's like oh then you know and I'm just like oh fuck like now I'm an idiot but then I respond back saying like oh

sorry I thought you were fucking with me like what's that bro? like how's your day you know like and then it's fine and I think but yeah Like, for sure, it, it definitely takes a lot to, to get, like, to get me, like, fucking mad and, like, actually start giving it back. But it takes me so little to want to do it. Like, I am just on the fucking, just a trigger, just like someone does this. And I'm like, and I'm like, getting better at, I'm like, getting better at, like, taking a deep fucking deep reverse. 808. A deep reverse snare.

Yeah. And then I think about it and I think whether or not it's a, or a, yeah, and then you have to. God, it's so fucking stupid. But, but yeah, like, I don't know. I like to, and the other thing, too, is, like, for the most part, like, if, whenever I post shit and it's like, I'm being goofy or something and people are like, well, you know, or like, they're, like, they get, like, angry or,

or something about it. Like, I think a lot of it also comes with the fact that, like, they obviously think I'm being serious. And I'm just like, yo, like, no, honey. Like, I'm goofing around. Like, come on. It's just a fucking goof. Like, chill.

And then, for the most part, 99% of people are like, oh, hey, you got me, man. Fucking, oh, shit. Like, that is funny. And, and then it's fine. And then you've got this, like, you know, then you have this, like, little, cute little moment where you're like, see, like, you know, hey, I'm letting you in. Like, this is how I am. but yeah it's just every now and then those people like they comment and i don't know like the hoodie

thing like people were commenting like why would i pay a hundred dollars for this when it's on the empiricons site for like fucking 30 bucks and i'm like because and i'm like because the like they're different hoodies and they're like no they're not and i'm like yes they are i'm like no idea about like fashion or like any of that yeah that that too but i'm i'm like they look the same yes No one's debating that. Like, you're absolutely, hit the nail on the head with that one. But this one's embroidered and this one's not.

That's why the other one's so much more expensive. And then they're like, well, I don't know why. Why would I buy that? And I'm like, I don't know. You don't have to. You know, a TV is not like a window. They're not the same thing. There's not a guy in your mirror that looks just like you.

Like, that's not a thing. Why would I buy a TV when I can watch the roadworks outside my other square of glass. Yeah. I already, I have, I have multiple of those. And those ones I can open too. I can't open the TV window. I got different movies on. On that side, I got railroad. On this side, I got McDonald's sign and roadworks. Exactly.

Why would I buy Netflix? I got it right here. Why would I, why would I buy a black shirt when I already have a green one? It's like, It's like it doesn't matter. Like you don't have to. And that's what pissed me off too is people were like, wow. Like they were like offended at the price. And I'm like, dude, there's no obligation to buy this.

I'm like, you guys are acting as if I'm saying like, dude, I'm like you're acting as if. At Gucci. This bag is fucking expensive. Wow. Right. And I'm like, and it's like no one's, no one's me. It's not like, okay, like, oh, okay, well, we're a. band like, oh, you want to be a fan? Like, you want to like our music? Well, just so you know,

I need you to sign this contract saying that no matter what piece of merch we put out, you have to buy it. If it's a million dollars, if it's two million dollars, like, you have to buy it. It's like, there's no obligation. Like, you know, many bands I love without bad merch, and I'm just like, oh, I just won't buy that. And then I see one I do like and I go, and I get my fucking credit card out. You know what I mean? And you know what? There's other items on sale. Of course, yeah. It's not just like this is, this is, you know, like architects, Royal Albert Hall,

the only gig of the year. Counterparts, embroidered, the only hoodie of the year. The only hoodie of the year. Sorry, we're done. We're done here. I'm fucking hungry and you're texting someone. Yeah, I am texting someone. Sorry. We're done. We're done. We're done. Fuck this. All right. Let's, let's fuck it. It's fucking, it's fucking bedtime. It's been lovely. It's been a lovely catch-up, for sure.

Good. I'm glad we just like caught up and we fucking recorded it. And there was no like, so, I've done two in a row now of like, felt like press. Yeah.

And that's why I emergency text you. And I was like, where we can get together and talk about fucking ricks and fucking medicine and fucking, yeah,

and that shit. And it's just easy. But. And if anyone's listening like, oh, I didn't think the last two. I don't release these in fucking order.

And I'm now going to deliberately not doing order. So you can't guess which ones were which. But. And one of them's not even coming out because it was so fucking pressy. I was like, this is fucking boring. I'm just not going to do it.

Yeah, well, fuck them. Don't put this one out. Don't even put this one. No, this one's coming out. Just delete it. No. Send me a file. Have a lovely day.

Same to you. Cats, AIDS is better. I'm going to look up that shit. You said it's RSO oil? RSO. Check out. I am going to check that out right the second. I love you, goodbye.

I love you too. Be safe. Bye. So long.