The Downbeat - Connie Sgarbossa (SeeYouSpaceCowboy)

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

My guest this week is Connie Sgarbossa, vocalist of SeeYouSpaceCowboy. We talked about the creation of their upcoming as-yet-untitled new album as well as her history in the myspace-adjacent music scene and soundcloud rappers, volunteering in a vegan anarchist cafe, her struggles with addiction and experiences being a trans woman in heavy music, the earth being flat, radical politics and many more buzzwords that could not possibly annoy the comment section any more if I tried.

Another day, another podcast, in two days' time, provided you are listening to this on release day, I will be in Nashville, Tennessee, recording six episodes of your favorite podcast with your favorite guests. And by favorite guests, I mean, I hope they are your favorite guests, one of which most requested guests ever, possibly. One returning guest and in a whole slew of, I mean a slew, is for a slew? A slew of four other guests. How on earth did I pay for that? Well, the lovely people at patreon.com 4 slash to the downbeat. They give me one pound, right?

And what I do with that money is I invest it back into the podcast. I pay Simon the editor. What up Simon? Shout out, Simon. You can leave that in Simon. I pay for a flight and an Airbnb to do a lovely slew. And it is a slew. Six is a slew.

I'm going to call it there. Of, I don't know, I can't even remember what I'm talking about. I'm doing a slew in Nashville, right? Patreon's paying for it. They also pay for this lovely camera that you might be watching or they actually, they didn't pay for this lovely microphone because Road. Little shout out to Road there.

Gave me that for free, which is nice of them. I should probably plug them. It's the same microphone as ever. I've plugged them before. I've paid for that. If anything, they should be paying them more. How am I going to afford to buy Nashville Hot Chicken and Tennessee Bourbon when I'm out there?

Well, some people go to www. dot the downbby. So it spells downbeat and they buy a sweatshirt like I'm wearing now or maybe they buy a t-shirt like I'm wearing underneath this sweatshirt. That money goes directly to me into my pocket. None of it goes to Simon. None of it goes to cameras. None of it goes.

Some of it goes to Nashville. It's very expensive. And then I can buy chicken in Nashville. Before I tell you about our lovely, lovely guest today and all of these plugs, if you hate this bit, I'm really sorry. It is getting more and more elaborate. Let me tell you about the. sponsor of today's podcast. As ever, it is displate. What is a display? A disc plate is a metal

poster that you affixed to the wall with a magnet. Craig, are you like a caveman or like a dumb idiot person who still uses paper posters or cardboard posters or those laminated posters that you got from a market when you were like 13 of like newly ladies and stuff? No, I'm not because I use disc plates. They're made of metal, okay? They attach with a magnet. They're in the background of the podcast studio. They're in the background of the Nashville Airbnb. Do not tell the person I loaned the Airbnb off. Wait, you could tell them because you know what? The magnet, the safety thing, all of that comes straight off the wall without any holes drilled. Airbnb person doesn't need to know anything about it. For everyone that you buy or I buy, displate parts are tree.

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My guest on the Downbeat podcast this week is Connie Scarboza from CU Space Cowboy. She came in. Let me tell you this. The first guest ever when I said, do you want to drink? She said, do you have whiskey? She came in hot from the night before. I believe they were in Ireland. You know, she had a whiskey.

It was about 11 in the morning, respect there. We talked about, we talked about so much. super, super knowledgeable person about old school metalcore, math core. The band is great. Sasscore. Check them out. We talked about she's a trans woman in the heavy music space, which is quite unique.

Doesn't define her, but it's quite unique. Some people on sort of punk rock metalcore podcasts would choose to have problematic trans guests on to stoke up you know, negativity, but what I like to do is have vegan, anti-racist, anti-capitalist trans guests on to talk about the real world, okay? It's Connie from Sea Space Cowboy. She's on the Downbeat podcast.

They're going on tour with Nothing Nowhere, and Downbeat Alumni Static Dress on September 5th in the US. They have a new album, Details, TBC, but most of the details are actually in this podcast. Connie from Sea His Face Cowboy on the Downbeat Podcast. Connie, I'm going to butcher your second name. It's Scarbosa. Scarbosa.

It's Italian. It's such a cool name. Yeah. It's my adoptive father when he came into our lives. I'm like, I went from Smith to Scarboza. Nice. From the most generic last name you could have to the gnarliest one. That's cool.

And it's like, it sounds like you made it up, no offense. that's what I thought too yeah everybody thinks that like it's just like some made-up name or they don't know where it's from or they spell it with a C instead of a G but you know dad's grandpa came from or my grandpa came from the motherland just kept the name wow are you doing Italy on this tour we did we played Milan was it good so it was a little less so the first time we ever went to Milan it was really really sick it was like the only

place we had like spin kicks and shit in the pit um but uh this time there was a band reuniting the exact same day called rain yeah in venice so i was talking to my home girl and she's like yeah everybody i know who's a space cowboy fan is out this other show it was just like the worst luck because i was looking forward to i'm like oh my god like i love italy like it's great time but you win some you lose some it's always like italy is always great or kind of sucks. Just because like, like sometimes you don't play at like 3 a.m.

It's just a different way of life. Yeah. Just that 3 a.m. But on the, and can they still smoke indoors in Italy? I haven't been in ages. No, we were smoking indoors when we were there. I'm not sure.

You're a rock star. Can I just say this? Number one, the first person that's ever come in and when I say, do you want a drink? And it's been, time, not to shame you. It's 1 p.m. And I said, do you want to drink? And you went, I'll have a whiskey.

Well, this tour has been like a crazy tour. I mean, we were in Belfast last night, and I was just, there was a disco night kind of club thing right after. And we went to have some drinks at spoons, and then came back and just went into the club. We're just like, hey, we're going in. They're like, okay. And then it just turned into a crazy time. Like I told you, slept through the entire ferry ride from Ireland back to here. Perfect.

Just, you know, keep it going. Was it just, was it space cowboy or was it like everyone on the tour package? It was space cowboy plus some of we came as Romans. And then caskets were out and about in other places. Nice. And it was like, what kind of music were playing? Probably like 50 cent. They were playing like, like, old club.

Yeah, old club hits. And I'm like, all right, I'm going to get hammered. I'm going to have fun tonight. Why did I think you were straight edge? I don't know, is it because of my Instagram? Oh, maybe. Maybe I had a little stalk this morning. I was like, I'll see what else I can find that I saw it.

Is it like X? It's X. Camuolo Child X. But it's like I did it as like Myspace. Yeah, MySpace era. Some people get confused about that. I got confused about it. Because as I am a Myspace era guy, but I'm also,

sometimes there's a straight-age person here. Yeah. But, you know, now we can talk about getting wrecked. That's fine. And I think the vegan thing as well, I was like, surely. Yeah. How long have you been vegan? Almost six years, I think.

Whole band, vegan? So, four of us are vegan, one of us is vegetarian. Yeah, so pretty much an all-vegan band. Do you bully the veggie? Yes, all the time. What's their, like, vice? What do they keep? Cheese.

You know what? Fuck cheese. I eat meat. I could go without cheese. I never liked cheese to begin with. It was the easiest. The hardest thing for me to give up was sushi. I love fish

So like sashimi Was the last thing I had to give up Before I went fully vegan I know a lot of people who Are vegan except for fish Like they'll just do They'll do everything No dairy, no anything

But at fish side There's that nasty rumour that fish don't care Yeah See for me I got into sashimi And like sushi is super late So like literally I only started eating it a year before I went Like fully vegan

And I was like, oh my God. You didn't get your money's worth. Yeah, I didn't. But in the Netherlands and now in the States, we have this crazy like sashimi substitute that's so close to the original thing, it blows my mind. Yeah, but what's the, what fish is it trying to emulate? Salmon.

But it's like it has the marbling in it. It's got the look. The taste is almost there. We have some in Glasgow. Yeah. In, it's called Rose and Grant. Let me check it. It's still open.

because it's pretty near the venue as well because that would be a treat for you. My phone's broke, so that's not going to sign me. You don't have to edit this. It's just me being awful. Rosen Grant's, I think it's called. It's like a coffee shop, but it does, do you know what a meat pie is? Obviously, you know what meat pie is,

but in Scotland they do like a called a Scotch pie, and it's a little thing, but they do vegan ones of those, and they do vegan salmon, but I've never, I've seen it, and I've gone, Really? But maybe it's the same stuff. See, for me the first time in like 2019, first time we ever came to Europe, like we were like very young band still.

And we went to Amsterdam. We had a day off in Amsterdam. It was like first time in Europe. Not straight edge. Not straight edge. Buying mushrooms, doing the whole thing, like smoking cigarettes and drinking espresso in, in buildings kind of vibe.

But there was a place that had it. And I was like, I can't wait for this to come to the States. And it finally has whatever. FDA bullshit said, okay, it's okay now. And so I have you yet to buy it, but I've seen it around. So is this your first UK show of the tour? We did slam dunk. You did slam dunk.

How was slam dunk? It was great. It was like fantastic. Because like for me, UK has saved this band from breaking up. The first time we ever came to Europe, we went on tour. And it was sea markets in Germany. In the entire five shows, like I said, we've been a band. for a year and a half, I think.

We just took the plunge. What year is this, sorry? 2019. And we sold one shirt and one CD the entire five show run. We were in, like, in debt. We're like, I don't know if this is worth it. Yeah.

But then we came to the UK and played like Upsurge Fest and played, oh, Glasgow first, then played like Upsurch Fest. Some of the craziest shows we'd ever played up to that point. So, like, UK saved this band. So, like, anytime I could come here and play,

I'm like, that's, like the pinnacle of any euro UK run. I feel like stray was the same. Like everything everywhere was like fine. And the UK was like double everything. And then eventually everything else just caught up. That was the thing. We literally went from playing to German people who didn't give a fuck about us

to all of a sudden upsurge. People like the stage is tiny at New Cross Inn. You know, but people were somehow still diving over me onto people killing each other in the pit I'm like all right this band's worth continuing then even if we're thousands of dollars in debt because of fucking Germany

you got to do it now you how's this tour going for you it's been great it's probably been the best Europe tour we've done just because it's a little bit smaller rooms and there's people a little bit more open than other tours we've done here support tours it's a little bit more in our wheelhouse even though we're still the weird band

we'll be the weird band on every tour package we're ever on. The only band doing math course shit and grind and whatever, sassing. But it's been great. It's been a great time. And being on the bus with we came as Romans and caskets, like...

Is this your first bus tour? Yes. First time I've ever been on the bus. Fucking best, isn't it? That's great. I could do it forever. Yeah. It's like, my thing was like, so we've been on tour for three and a half months straight. At this point? Yes. Wow. In the last seven months, I've only been home for 20 days, cut into two.

10-day sections. The last seven months. So I was, like, broken after the Silverstein tour. I was like, I don't know how this is going to go. We got on the bus. Silverstein was in the States? Yeah, in the States. You know, a van?

Yeah. Which is, like, fine. It's our van. We got a mattress in there. It's whatever. But coming over here, I'm like, if this doesn't go well, I'm going to lose my mind. First day, it was just, like, party. Like, just, like, everybody's vibing, having a great time.

which is very different than other support tours I've done where it's like headliner doesn't talk to anyone doesn't fuck around with anyone but like the first day like Andy from Weakam is Rhone's like Connie like nice to meet you like Let's walk to this gas station Let's fucking have a drink blah blah blah Like drink blah blah blah blah he was sober at the time

And I'm just like this is sick All the caskis people's sick All the Weeks Thomas Rones people's sick Like it's just been a great way to be like Help push through that last last little bit of like you go to fly to Europe and do a tour when it doesn't feel like work that's when it's the best it's like I'm on vacation yeah it's like it's like you said I'm drinking whiskey at one in the afternoon we go yeah it's like I don't want another one halfway three we can

just press pause I get you another one I'm actually drinking coffee guys I've got a lot on today this is my last day I've got I think I've had when did we start that other tour February and I think I'm I probably had 25 days days off between February and it will be July because I go on tour I've gone to all next Monday but I've got some work in London tomorrow so I need to like pack today yeah for Monday so fucking annoying dude that's how I feel like we have an 11 hour flight back to LAX I'm like I could have a lot of fun tonight and like fuck off with my responsibilities or I could be like I have to get on a plane for 11 hours tomorrow it's just you

You leave tomorrow? Yes. This is the last day? Yes. This is it. Are you flying from Glasgow? Flying from London. Heathrow.

Oh my God. That makes no sense. No. Well, it's, okay, so normally when we fly back from Europe, we have to, like, stop and have a five-hour layover. This time, it's just like a straight 11-hour flight home. Oh, so the bus is the layover technically, which is actually fucking way better. Yeah. I'm going to just pass out my bunk.

Yeah. I feel like you've just got a power through today. I feel like you've just got partied through the whole day and the evening. Yeah. I mean, I said last night was my last big night in Belfast, but it's probably not going to be. I'm going to be running around, spilling my drink on people tonight.

Do you drink beer? I don't. Does anyone in the band drink beer? Yes. I'll give you, I've got a downbeat margarita sour. Oh, I do love sours. I've got so much of it.

I'll give you a bunch, take you back to the venue. It's funny because Taylor, our bassist, is like an award-winning brewer. I love to hear what you think So he joined the band The beginning He's the one Me and him started it

He left Went to brewing school Started brewing And then he came back Over the pandemic But he's like Crazy about beer Oh I'm gonna give

I have so much Different beer here Including my own beer I'll give you a little Make you up a little Selection pack Bring it back Share it with

Reader's Roman Last day of tour Yeah Because I wish I could come But I have so much to do Yeah I've got bleach fucking hair.

I got, you know, the real important shit. Absolutely. Mark out my drum rug, get a haircut, bleach my hair. That's it.

Where are y'all going? Where does it start? It starts, it's festivals, European festivals. Oh, so like rock for people full force all those ones. Yeah, they're all like,

so next week, my week, it's fucking amazing actually. I mean, just thought about it yesterday. My week is, it starts, obviously we practice in Germany

and then first show is Nova Rock with Slipknot, like same stage as Slipknot. Then the second day after that is Rock for People with Slipknot and Architects and Lorna Shore, then download with Metallica, then we do two shows with Mushugur. And it's like, that's crazy. In five days, I'm going to play with three of my favorite bands of all time. Rock for people is sick. The little town that they put you up in when they get you a hotel and stuff, like, it's

an amazing place. Yeah. So I want to play that fest just to hang out in that town again. I love a festival tour for hanging out. This will be my first festival tour on a bus as well, which is like... Yeah. That's like bliss. Yeah.

Festivals are great. You meet people. I mean, low-key, I feel like we got the service scene tour we did because we met them at Rock for people. And I didn't know, I didn't quite recognize who they were at first. They like offered me. Like, I was looking for whiskey. I was asking everybody.

I'm like, where can I get some whiskey? And then one of them was like, oh, we have whiskey on our bus. I'm like, cool. Like, what band are you in? Like, Silverstein. I'm like, oh, my God. That's the network. Yeah.

I'm like, y'all, I love y'all so much. You do a cover of Orchid. You do Destination Blood. Like we started talking about like old, like emotive hardcore and scream of bands. Like three weeks later, we got the tour offer from them. I mean, that's 100% what happened. That's, I always talk about this, like, in, because I went to music school, like, fucking 20 years ago. now and they always tell you in it like oh and everyone all of the like internet people were like

oh you got a network you got a network all this shit but it's like yes you have to network but it needs to be a hundred percent real and that's like an example of like you were looking for whiskey became a network then you got something out of it the worst is like if someone listens to this and then now go right i'm going to hunt down silverstein's bus i'm going to pretend that i want whiskey to do to do the networking that's the thing i want a genuine connection with any, like, of my, like, fellow musicians and stuff. It's the same way it was, like, so, like, I used to, like, hang out with all of people, like, LA from, like, the soundclare rap scene.

Like, and I'm still great friends with all of them, but I'm, like, a lot of people will be, like, well, like, what's it like, like, partying with all these crazy people? I'm like, I didn't start hanging out with them because I wanted to be, like, a clout chaser. Like, they d-n'd be on Instagram. They said, oh, I love your band, and I love all the bands you love. And I'm, like, sick. Let's fucking hang out then.

Like, yes, I listen to, like, all their music, like, back when it was a big thing in 2017, 2018. Wait, who are we talking here? Like, like, Ned Arb, Zubin, Little Lotus. Like, all these people who are, like, some of my best friends. Yeah. But, like, people look at that and be like, oh, it's just, like, networking shit. It's just, like, L.A. bullshit.

I'm like, no. Like, I go up there. I go stay at Ned's house for the whole weekend, and I just hang out with everybody I can because I love kicking it with these people. Because, like, people look at them be, like, oh, they're rappers, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, but. they all listen to the same fucking music we did growing up yeah all that all that all the 2017 sound cloud all of that is they're all emo kids yeah literally i'm like yeah they're great to hang out

with it's not just like some like la bullshit like and it's the same way with any band i come in contact with like i'm like i like hang out with them because they're genuine people and like it's fun you know it's a good time and it should always be that not about like oh if i hang out with said said person, then like, I'll get the tour off or I'll get the fucking Instagram post. It'll make me blow up, blah, blah, blah, whatever. So transparent when you do that. Because, like, all of Space Cabway were all, like, hardcore kids. Like, I grew up volunteering from, like, age 14 to 19, running the Chee Cafe in San Diego.

Vegan, anarchist, I ran the zine table there all the time. I learned how to do sound there. I learned how to do everything there in a volunteer run, non-hierarchal collective. I grew up in that kind of scene where it was like very like the most like primal roots of like punk and shit. And that's like why SpaceCat was also so political because like that's the scene I grew up in. Like it, I went from seeing Dead Kennedies and JFA play when I was like 10 years old to like all of a sudden seeing ceremony in 2009 in a 100 cap room and being like this is where I belong. This kind of like DIY hardcore. And like I just like dove into it.

And of course, like, Space Cowboys now a label band and the industry and blah, blah, blah. But, like, out of our hearts, we're still very much like that. And it's not like you're on fucking Tony. No offense to Sony. But, like, it's pure noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're still with the good guys. Yeah, I mean, and, like, that was always the thing with pure noise.

I was even like, you'll never tell us what to do. Like, before we signed, I'm like, don't tell us what to do. Don't tell me how to do my shit. Just, like, if we want to work together, cool. And that's how it's been forever. I mean, even coming down to, like, changing our sound to every record because we're bored of what we did last record, you know?

You know what? It's creeping in with labels. I don't know any examples of actual labels, but, like, I don't want to throw your label under the bus. But, like, hey, you guys, you need to do this on TikTok. It's like, I'll do TikTok if I want to do TikTok. No, I've decided I'm too old to do TikTok. Wait, how old?

28. I'm 36. I've got a TikTok. But my thing is, my thing is like I'm just, I don't want to learn it. I don't know what's going on. I don't have, I made a TikTok account, posted one thing and never posted again. Never been on it since. It is interesting.

TikTok comes up all the time on this podcast. It is interesting because it's what you, what every bone in my body thinks will do well on TikTok doesn't. So I'm like kind of interested in like, it's just a shifting of. people's brains for good or for bad. It's a hive mind. Yeah, like the high quality shit, like when I put a podcast clip up, bombed.

But it's like me doing something dumb on my front camera where I look like SpongeBob, like, yeah, I mean, it's the same shit with us. We'll like put, like, anytime we tried it, it'll be like, oh, this is a funny little skit we can do, blah, blah, whatever.

But then like the best video is me crowd surfing at a show in Philly and punching the fucking fluorescent lights and the ceiling panels out. like as I go. It's kind of cool, though. It's a shit VHS video from my cassette camera, you know. It's like, you never know.

I kind of like that, though. Lo-fi. Lo-fi coming back. I need to ask some of my fucking questions because we're just gabbing. But a lot of them came up. So, obviously you're on the Wii Cart tour now. Yeah. Obviously, respectfully, your band is absolutely mental, musically.

Like, it is fucking all over the shop. so do you find but like so I know of you from you being hardcore kids yeah do you find there are certain tours or bands that you play with and the crowd just doesn't get it

absolutely all the time that's like the thing is like Space Cowboy is a band we've always been like we play this weird music influenced by these old metalcore bands and we have like the stage presence to attempt to emulate that but what I think

found is they don't understand our like quick changes and fucking tempo changes but they like to watch us lose our minds on stage that's always been the thing is like that was fucking crazy you're insane on stage because like my thing personally when we do support tours was like people probably never heard of number 12 or daughters or whatever that we take from or fever for the march of flames I'm like but if we go up there and we go fucking insane and Taylor takes us to is bass off and chucks it in the air and catches it and Ethan's throwing it behind his head. Like, they'll remember that. Yeah.

As to be like, oh, SpaceCat was kind of crazy. Do you think that's why all are, I'm going to throw myself under the bus here, like, all as old people want to take you on tour because we remember those bands. Like, I went to see those bands. I was like 13 or whatever, and it was like crazy. I've talked to a lot of people who are like, yeah, it's crazy to see that like throwback and like a lot of bands. And I like that because, like I said, like, we came from that, like, niche scene where, like, all these bands that, like, they want to bring up Zeo, Poison the Well, fucking embodiment.

I'm going to, yeah, I love those bands because I'm a fucking music nerd. And I grew up being like, what's the most, like, just niche elite, like, one demo, one seven inch, like, screamo band or metalcore band I can find. I'm like, that, I love that shit. Did you ever fuck with Circle Takes the Square? Yeah. I saw them play when I was. I was going to say, how old were you? They did a reunion.

I saw it in play when I was like 17. I saw them, page 99, City Caterpillar, like any reunion band I could see. And like while I was doing that, I was talking to a lot of like older people would be like, yeah, I saw that band back in the day, like whatever.

And I'm like, well, I was like four. Yeah, I did what I could. I played some shows with Circle Texas Square in like 2003. 2003, I was on my, the more tempo changes and erratic weirdness the better i think decompositions came out like that was the era they were toying that or was it as no it was roots it was roots yeah yeah yeah fucking record rocks i remember buying it and it being the first time i ever bought a CD that wasn't in a case

and i was like this is made from paper yeah it's a digu pack yeah i was i was amazed at the time i was like wait this is hot no that was my thing like listening to that band like hearing roots and then hearing decompositions. I'm like, bands can change how they sound, dude. I mean, you guys have. Yeah, I mean, that's always been our thing. In the first two years,

we were very grindy, very math core. Then we were like, Kill Switch Engaged, Poison the Well Wanna Be. Then we were like post hardcore. And even like with like the new album, we've even switched again. This is why we're segueing into this. You've just finished recording.

Yes. So we just did our album with Matt Squire. did a fever you can't sweat out yeah that's crazy he's a really cool guy because he's got the pop sensibilities but he's a DC hardcore dude so like we

often are yeah and it's sick we went to him with this idea of like we wanted to take what we had done with romance of affliction but imbue like the indie rock that me Ethan and Timmy grew up listening to to the old cinema club

Interpol block party Like, my first show ever was Interpol, Block Party on the silent alarm release, and the bravery. It was the first show I ever went to. It was like a little kid. No wonder the UK loves you because you're thinking about it. It's very UK. Yeah. And like for us, we're like, all right, well, we did this post-arche, like, Seyosen, Under Oth thing.

What do we want to imbue now? And we kind of came up this idea of doing cabaret, burlesque, and putting that dancey indie rock that's, like, so infectious. into metalcore. So we like worked out this whole thing and where we're like we planned it all out. We like made like and then we went to like Isaac from Knock Luce.

And we're like Isaac, once again we have a crazy idea for you. Can you help us do this thing that we wrote half the album we went to him to write the other half and just wrote some of the most like wild songs we've ever written. Like songs that have breakdowns

as well as like 1930s like swing riffs in them. Wow, yeah, that's pretty fucking number 12 craziness. We just like committed to this thing with him. So like, yeah, like, so then when it came to going to Matt Squire, we're like, you did the most famous burlesque cabaret influence thing ever. The biggest fucking song on earth for 10 years. And so like when we were talking to Puranize, we're like, we would love to work with whoever did that album.

And Jake is like, well, coincidentally, he hit me up a month ago. asking to work with y'all and i'm like wow sick that's fucking cool it so like we like really got to like stretch out play around we timmy it like knows how to play piano and do composition so we have like jazz clubs smoky femme fatale fucking interludes and like you can go nuts on the videos for those as well oh i have it all oh you've got that play it yeah um so like it was really cool to like have another album where we played around and be like, cool, we're going to make a lot of double high hat snare dance parts, work

that goes straight into a breakdown. It's going to fit, you know? So Isaac helped with this as well? Yes. Oh my God, what a fucking combo. That is such a cool combo. He produced our last album. Yeah, I know that much. And he's like,

you know, like, not to throw one of the best, but he's like been like, I know your band. I've been a fan for like since we were putting out seven inches like way back in the day. He's like, I, like, he's always the person that, like, is like, you need to never lose who you are. Keep that grind shit in there. Keep the space cowboy in there. And we'll also, like, weave in everything else.

He's the fucking murder. He's so good. He's a musical genius. Musical genius, so in tune with, like, the underground. Yes. It's crazy. It is. I mean, and for how big knock loose is, to still, like, have him just be this, like, almost like, boreline eccentric, just, like, music.

lover to the max degree yeah i love him like to death i love writing i'll never write a album without him yeah i feel like you can hear like obviously not discrediting yourselves but on the last album you can hear like oh he's had a little fucking nod in that bit there well because he'll even do funny things like there's a song on the new album that's super dillinger influence he's like i'm gonna write the most fucked up thing i can just so a jr drummer has to try to to play it. And it's insane. It's like, I told them, I'm like, I won't do vocals over this. Just so you know, this one part, I'm not going to touch it. Is it a Dillinger Blasper? Yeah, it's a, dun, do, do, do, da, do, do, da, do. Are you not touching it because you want to

leave it open or because you can't learn? No, because I don't want to fucking try to write anything over that. All right. We did a song with a Dillinger part in it. I'm going to throw Drew under the bus here. We did a song with the Dillinger part in it. We come to rehearse before the first tour that we're playing that song. The song is action's not words. The beginning of it as a proper. It's a Dinnager blast, Dinnager section. And obviously, incredibly difficult for the drums. Get to band practice.

Motherfucker hasn't learned it. And I had to play it like, I reckon I had to play it 200 times in a row. And he still didn't get it and we don't play it. Yeah. Also, I need to shut out Paul, drummer of Silverstein, because on that tour that we did, he gave me an OG calculating infinity, Dillinger Escape Plan shirt. He wore it all tour because I had been like punished him about like old bands and he's like the last day

He's like Connie come here I want you to have this I've had it for 20 something years I want it's time to pass it on Wow So in my bag right now I have an OG calculating infinity shoot And I'm just like insane because like that band is a big part of why a lot of us play anything technical Yeah It's like it's still in your skate I mean calculating infinity is yeah fucking If it's probably not in my top 10,

top five albums, it's in my top 10 albums. And it's like even going crazy on stage, my, like, if I hit this point, I've made it, is the mall headwalk video. Like, if I could ever do that on stage, I'm happy. Here's, this is very on topic. Do you think you would get away with it today?

Because this is going to lead me into all sorts of questions. But did you see the Royal Blood thing the other day? Yes. What's your thoughts there? I mean, I don't know. Because like in hardcore, you know, you go on the stage, you tell people to fucking move, you insult them. It's like a thing in our scene. And even at our own shows, I will still front football stage.

If I like a band that's playing, I'll still crowd kill. Still mosh. Still do it all. But there probably is a point that will come where I can't do that anymore without a lot of headache. I think it's coming so soon. I saw the, if anyone doesn't know, Royal Blood sort of went on stage. I'm going to preface this. It's a Radio 1.

Oh no, you won't get played on Radio 1 anymore. What, once a fucking year. It was a Radio 1 festival, which, to my knowledge, you don't get paid for. You get a very minimal fee, and it's just to sort of lovey up with Radio 1. Yeah. They play, they sandwich them,

Royal Blood's a rock band. They sandwich them in between two, like, singer-songwriters. Royal Blood were just, like, making sort of jokes about the crowd, and then when they left, they flipped the crowd off. Now, I thought that was the most benign, passive, like, thing in the world. And the internet went mental, like, they're so, oh, what is it? I kept seeing entitled, so entitled. It's like, motherfucker.

It's a show. I mean, that's been my thing with a lot of Europe, too. I'm like, they seem to like the set, but they don't move around. In America, if you like a set, you're front flipping off the stage. You're, like, piling on the vocalist. You know, you're going crazy. You're showing your support. I just can't.

I couldn't get my head around the, just the, the majority of people saying, this is uncalled for. If I was in that crowd, no one from the crowd being offended, obviously, if I was in that crowd,

I'd be so annoyed. I'd pay good money, blah, blah, blah. It's like, motherfucker, I saw Greg from Dillinger shit in a bag at Reading Festival say,

on stage, you're going to see a lot of shit on this festival today, so let me start it off and he shit in a bag and he threw it into the crowd and everyone was like, yeah! Now you can't even flip off the crowd! I mean, that's like the thing.

I don't like the sanitization of shows. I thought you were going to say shit. I don't like the sanitization of shit. Let me shit. I mean, there's like a thing and it's like the same way. Like my dad grew up going to like Black Flag shows in the 80s. He's like, back then it was just like fights.

You would just be poled. punching people in the face. And this is the same thing with me. Like, my thing has always been, like, I hate that in, like, this, this left or,

like, part of the queer scene. I'm like, no crowd killing. I'm like, motherfucker, if I go to a beat down show, I'm going to punch someone in the face right away. Like,

I love it. I saw Unbroken Wings, and, like, I had, like, four people coming to you said, you broke my nose. You gave me a fucking concussion.

That was sick, you know? I mean, it's like, that's part of hardcore. It's a hard one to navigate, though, because it's like, It is mostly within our own scene where there is the conflict. Yeah.

It's not like there's a rant. There's not like there's like military dudes coming to the show. It's all of the left. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a tough thing. It's like even like for me with like if you like go farther to like other trans people, I'm like, you all are soft. I grew up fighting anybody who insult me on the street.

I grew up not complaining on Twitter, but getting in fist fights in the middle. of wherever the fuck I was because it's like I'm not going to stand for disrespect I'm going to do shit about it right here but there's this growing like scene of people who just become really soft

and there's like I just want to complain about it on the internet I'm not going to do anything in the moment but I'm going to act like I got the one up because I made a viral tweet about it I'm like back in my day as young as I am it was like you fucking punch them in the face if they do shit

that's the way it is and it's way it should be handled. And like, so when it comes to like a lot of like the queer scene and stuff, I don't necessarily vibe with like even people like who apparently are part of my own community. It's like, why aren't you doing anything about anything other than like your anime profile picks you're complaining on Twitter? Do you think, see, actually I do see a lot of complaints, but I often see the complaints from people who are, it's just on behalf.

It would be like on behalf of yourself, like a complaint. complaint. Yeah, and I get that. There's like a big movement to be like, stand up, but it's never where it counts. You know, it's like that social media shit when it's like, well, where were you in the moment? Here's a question then, because I do have a section on your identity as a trans woman in heavy music because there's not that many of you.

It's true. But while we're on that subject, what can, like, allies do in your opinion? to help without hindering it. Yeah, I feel like there's valid, there's valid reasons to do this whole, like, stand for thing, like, I mean, like, and propose your message. But, like, if you're in the moment

and you see someone getting harassed and going down, like, do something about it. Because all it takes is somebody, especially from an outside party step again to be like, and that will stop to be, like, done, you know. It goes beyond just being, like, I support. and put a bumper sticker on your car.

It goes to the... If anything that's what... Obviously, I can't try to cut in. If anything, that's kind of worse because it just riles up the people who are already riled up. It's like... So Space Cowboy, like, we get, like, death threats.

You get people saying, like, I'm gonna, we're gonna fucking shoot up your show. We're gonna do X, Y, Z, do you. They never do. They never do. They're fucking, yeah, the fucking cowards about it. I don't care.

But, like, there's a notion that you have to go, beyond that. It's like what like traditionally know is like praxis. What you can do about your personal beliefs in the moment. And that would be something like if you see someone getting harassed or some shit, like step in. And it's the same thing for like if you see a woman getting harassed.

Step in. Don't don't fucking watch from afar and be like, oh, woman is so oppressed. This is terrible. Tweet about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I saw today? This woman getting a fucking ass kicked. Yeah, like why didn't you fucking step in?

Like any time, even if I see like a gnarly verbal argument like me and people around me, we like, stands up and be like, all right, we're watching. If anything happens beyond what we think is, like, appropriate in that way, then you go over and be like, what the fuck's going on? It's always about, like, applying your, like, personal beliefs to, like, real-life scenarios and not just letting them exist in your head or on the internet. Yeah. And that's, like, the biggest thing is, like, if you truly believe these things,

make them happen in reality. Yeah. Do what you can. Like, even, even. Even if it's like you got a political belief, when I was 14, I was stealing the manager code from the fucking office depot and printing thousands of dollars of zines

because that's what I believed to spread information. I can't tell you what I did. I did shit like that as well, but it's really illegal. But yeah, I'm all for that. Yeah, I'm all for stealing from your work as well, by the way.

Massive fan of that. Fuck that. Yeah, I mean, Whole Foods. Love stealing from Whole Foods. Just anywhere, I mean, this is obviously hypothetical. I'm lying. This is a joke. I'm obviously lying. But like anywhere they make me

scam my own shit, you best believe I'm getting paid for my labour. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like there's a big problem with this generation of like, they say it, but they don't live it. Yeah. What's the point of saying something

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That's athletic greens.com 4 slash the downbeat. Check it out. Hey, what, like, while I'm on the subject, have you ever had any shit from, like, other bands? Like, has it been, obviously, the easiest question is, like, is it really difficult being a trans woman in music?

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coms bar records. Never bands. So luckily people within like hardcore and stuff have always been really accepting

and cool. I've never had bands. Of course, there's like Like slip ups, pronoun misses, but I never, like, pointed out. I'm like, I don't care. They'll learn as, like, as time goes on.

Is this, is this people that knew you pre-transition? When did you transition? Oh, eight years ago? Yeah. No, it's not that, but this, they just don't understand necessarily. It takes time to warm up, but I'll never be the person to be, like, day one. Like, fucking don't call me that, whatever, you know? Like, if it's like a homie and there's no malice, let it slide and they'll learn on their own, you know.

So, because 2023, like, I feel like, and obviously I can't ever fucking relate, but I got a lot of trans friends. Yeah, like, I feel like there was a small golden era. Like, maybe I want to say

2019 to late 2020, where it was like everyone on the, on the, like, whole seemed to be really quite accepting. Yeah. And 2023 is absolutely fucking size.

It is. I mean, like, I have my girlfriend texting me all the time be like, this state just passed this anti-trans law. They're making kids detransition. They're making blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I mean, I personally never get my hopes too up. I'm like, things will, things go in a pendulum. Swings very far to one side. It will always swing back to the other. And so, like, I'm always ready for the next thing to happen. And it's like that currently, even there's a lot of places that are passing. really gnarly anti-trans laws. A lot of that stuff going on in the U.S. currently. Florida is a big one. And like...

The banning of drag shows, which is like... Well, you know, what's crazy? It's like, they did that in Nashville. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm legally allowed to perform in Nashville anymore. What? But that's... I mean... That's the thing.

It's like technically to the state... That's fucking insane. Calling NCU's base cowboy a drag show. Technically to the state, I would be considered doing drag. Did you see, I thought this was cool, right? Because I'm incredibly left-leaning person. But I like to think I'm quite open-minded

and I'm quite skeptical about a lot of stuff. One band who I thought, and most of their fans are, most of their fans are absolutely insufferable, right? It's tall. And a lot of their fans, I'm a big tall fan, but I call myself like a taller fan.

I call myself like a tall apologist because their fans are so bad. Rick and Morty, tall, like all of that shit where it's like the people that like it sucks so much and makes me not like the stuff. But I saw that when they played

Florida. Yeah, when they played Rockville, he wore drag. And I was like, good for you because that would have pissed off. I reckon at least 60% of their families. He's been doing it for years, but like,

I mean, it's the same thing that I feel like we'll play like Midwest or Deep South and I'll go on stage and be like, you'll fuck 12, fuck the police before we play arm with their teeth. I'm like, you know what? Like, ever since we first started touring outside Cali,

I've always told the band members, I'm like, shit could happen. Get ready. I'm going to make a speech. Yeah. Get ready to fight. I mean, we've also been doing the no cops for a while. The only thing we got,

this, you can probably relate to this. like there's a moment when you get like all the death threats like when trump when trump was in we got we got all the death threats from one of our records for the good night all right yeah all of that shit got all the death threats and there is a moment where you're like oh actually this could actually happen then you do the first tour after that yeah and you realize that these would be assassins have a much easier job than any other assassin on earth because they can go to see you space cowboy or straightmanthebath.com, there is a list of every 500 capacity room that I will be sat down in that you could just take a fucking, please, you could just take a pop and still no one

did it. And then you realize like, everyone's full of shit. They're just the cowards. I mean, it is like the internet, and we've known this for so long, the internet allows a sense of power for a lot of people. And it's good and bad power. It's empowering to people who can take photos, Even for myself, I didn't take photos from good angles, be like, damn, I look good. Post them. It also is good for anonymous people who want to be like, oh, I'm going to fucking get you. Like, you should be scared. And like, I'm not scared, but, like, come, come find me.

Like, when we're in, we played Denver the day after the Colorado Springs shooting. And I remember waking up and, like, 45 minutes away from me, there was, like, a mass shooting at a gay club. And, like, so, like, I went on stage. And, like, I wrote a word I will not say, because this is. going on YouTube on my stomach and I said hey I'm sure y'all all heard about that I just want to say what did the letter begin with what left yeah yeah got it yeah um and uh I said all right I made a speech I'm like if if any of you think I shouldn't exist come get me motherfucker and I pull my shirt up and I'm like that's my statement I'm like if you want me come get me god girl I don't even think like

in in my head I was like you know they didn't come for us but right now the target is not on us and there is actually fucking atrocities happening. So be careful, please. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to try my best. I mean, don't stop. Yes, don't stop doing me. Like, that's like always my thing. I'm like, shit happens.

You deal with it in the moment. You do what you can. I always say, if you're going to do it for me, right, just come in. I'll even let you do it. Just come in, just get me. Don't get everyone at the show. Yeah. Yeah.

That's rude. Yeah. Just get me. Just get me. I mean, that's how I feel. I'm like, there is a price to put on the line if you want to live your life to whatever magnum to you want to live it to. That's like the acceptance of. And it's even the same thing.

Like, when I used to struggle with drug addiction, it's the same thing. I'm like, I'm putting my life on the line every time I do this. What drugs? Do you want to talk about this? That's fine. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I used to be really addicted to smoking OxyCon. I actually overdosed two weeks after we record a romance of affliction.

I, like, flatlined. I had to be brought back. Very American problem, right? Country's fucked. Yeah, it's terrible. Did you say smoking? I was smoking, yeah. Put on foil with a straw, light energy.

Don't exactly. You sound like, you're reminiscing. Yeah, well, I'm sorry. And that's fine. I was like, do you want to talk about this? No, no, no. It's fine. Like, I've been clean for months now.

So like, I'm like, yeah, but I used to, like, struggle with it really gnarly. I mean, the romance of affliction, a lot of it is about, like, being a drug addict. And after that album, I kind of started the process of, like, getting clean. that overdose. And it's the same thing. It's like you take that risk. If you want to live life, whatever it may be.

And you have to like be willing to like put your cards on the table. Be like this is it. And like for me, like with that shit, I wasn't willing to anymore. I'm like, it's not worth it. It's not worth it to keep testing this.

And like, not to say I haven't relapsed or dappled sense and like other substances, but there are certain ones where it's not worth it anymore to like, constantly daily use whatever it may be. Did you, like when you OD'd,

like how far did it go? They had an Narkemi twice to bring me back. I was just like on the couch, like dying. Do you remember anything? No. The first thing I remember is waking up and like in a movie, like a fish-eye shot of like my girlfriend,

Taylor and Ethan, all like looking down on me. I'm like, what the fuck happened? Because that night I took 10 bars of Xanax and did a bunch of Oxy and I'm like Ten bars. Yeah, I just got like, my girlfriend went to work and I got terribly fucked up throughout the night. If I take half a bar before a flight, I'm like out for 11 hours. Oh, let me tell you, when I got, I got clean off Oxy and Zanax.

Legally, by the way. Yeah, I got clean off Oxy and Zanx at the same time. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt my life. Yeah. I like stopped. like because I was prescribed it but I like stopped using it because it really is a fucking slippery old

Oh Now I just have like two drinks before I get on the plane Yeah That's kind of what I did I mean I replaced a lot of that with like drinking I'm like it's a little bit easier to maintain It's not quite as gnarly It's still not great but it's a lesser evil

That's the thing is like tomorrow it all starts to me I'm going to stop day drinking I'm gonna only have three shots of night Max and taper that down I made a handshake deal with our bassist or our guitarist Timmy and I'm like he's like I'm gonna quit nicotine I'm like okay I'll quit day drinking I won't drink before five and I'll have three drinks max forever or just to like reset myself because I was talking to like Andy from weekend as Romans he's like you need

to take time to reset and like do you stop focusing on like bands and everything like that and just like take some time reset because he did 90 days sober you know yeah and and I'm like That's crazy that you did that. He's like, no, it's great that I did that. Like, it's so nice to, like, be able to, like, refine yourself and be, like, I don't need whatever substance it may be to survive. My thing is, like, so I did the tour that we did before last, I only drank before days off, which was big for me because I would just drink every day.

But I wouldn't drink, I wouldn't day drink because I couldn't play the drums. I'd start just before we played. I'd have, like, two beers. Yeah. Then after we played, I would drink until I'd fucking play. liked out and it would get me through the boredom of tour yeah then the last tour sorry the tour before last I did just drinking before days off yeah mentally I was in such a better place like physically I didn't come back from tour like looking shot yeah and then I played so good

but I was so fucking bored yeah at the last all we did I went back to drinking had more fun but I played worse no that's my thing like I was like thinking about, I'm like, I could stop drinking on this tour, but I'm like, I'm exhausted. You got one day left, you might as well. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I just want to have fun and I'll go home and like, I have three months off. It's an easier place. Yeah.

You can make yourself not home. Yeah, I can't imagine quitting anything on tour. Imagine being in like the bus and be like, I need a drink. You're like, well, I'm about to do it. Yeah. So I've planned it though. I've had a look. I'm not an alcoholic.

I've planned it. we've got after the show with architects who are our boys there is a day off and then after Metallica there's a day off so in my head I'm like oh I'm just gonna party like crazy on those two days and then the rest of the time it's gonna be business I don't want to be hung over playing with my sugar yeah I know absolutely watch me and I'll shit my parents well I mean that's like I've said that many nights this story even last time I'm like I'm not gonna get drunk because I got to go do this tomorrow and I want to get on the ferry and be okay and like still ended up getting trashed in Belfast, but

you know, there is that, like, notion of, like, I feel like as I get older, I'm also like, I need to be more responsible. You need at least make an effort. Yeah, I mean, when I was 28, I didn't even have those thoughts, so good for you. It's coming. It's your time's coming. What flavor of ape you got, or is it weed?

Do you smoke weed? No. Why don't you smoke weed? Too crazy? You want to know it's the ironic thing? I've done pretty much every other drug known to man, and I don't like weed. I mean either. I hate it.

And I love everything else. There's many people in our party who like, they smoke weed all the time, you know, whatever. But for me, I'm just like, yeah, I love every other thing I've done. DMT to fucking whatever. DMT so shit. I do DMT every day if I could. Dude, DMT, but I have a DMT vape at home.

That's what we, last episode of the podcast, that's what I was talking about. That's game changing. Yes. The San Diego chemists do well. really do you know what i'm going to be in san diego later on in the year i'd really like the plug obviously this is a joke yeah it's a joke it's no it's real youtube this is parody the whole thing is parody um all that sketch we planned it all out exactly what um do you think there is an answer sorry to like obviously you must get every single press question under the sun about being trans

oh that's fine do you think there is anything that is going to unite the two polar opinions. Because right now it's really, really, really conflicted. And I see like, it's not even that bad in our genre. You go on like a hip-hop post about

like a trans woman or there'll be like, there'll be a story that come out like there's like a rapper that's got with like a trans porn star or something like that. They come out all the time because this happens. Yeah. And the comments are so insane. my head, I'm like how, how, not so far obviously bum you out.

Yeah, no, no, no. How we, we, like, as a society, how are we ever going to be accepting? It's going to be time. Time is the ultimate answer. I mean, if you look at, like, history, it's like, yes, action, it's always going to be action. There's always going to be protests, blah, blah, whatever. But it's the ultimate infusion is just time. It's all it takes is you can't force society change.

It's the same thing when I look at, like, politics with, like, communism and stuff. Like people were like, oh, do you want a revolution in your lifetime? I'm like, no, I don't. I want slow, gradual change. I thought COVID was it. I thought we were going to have this big, massive like reset. Didn't happen. It doesn't, I don't think that change like that is good.

I understand that a lot of people idolize revolutions, the Bolshevik revolution, the French Revolution. They're like, oh, great change. I'm like, well, that's before we had modern technology. Doesn't work so well in this day and age. Gradual change, time is the ultimate ingredient. Do you know what I think? I think we went backwards because of COVID though,

because I saw all of the billionaire profits, all the profiteering, all this shit. And I just, being completely dumb and lefty, I was like, this is it, guys. There's no way the normal man, obviously,

that's mankind. Nobody's going to get me. You're not going to get me. They're not going to get me. obviously mankind like I was like that's it you can't you can't sit back and watch what is happening and not be so furious

this is going to be it we're going to tear it all down and everyone just got walked all over and now it's just like oh sorry how much is it for my energy pill okay mister yeah yeah it's it's hard because like like I was saying with like past shit that's happened it's easier to stage a revolution

before we had machine guns True. You know. So it's easier to be like we're going to overthrow the government and put whatever we want in. We're going to kill the Tsars. We're going to fucking have our

Tail of Two Cities moment. We have to do it with a knife. Yeah, yeah. We're going to do it with a few muskets and a couple of blades. And now it's like, well, you've got to overthrow governments that have nuclear weapons.

Yeah. And the other team have most of the guns. That's always my thing. It's like, people are like, you have to be like pro, like, anti-gun or whatever. And I'm like, no. Almost every one of my friends that's like super left is pro-guns.

Yes, absolutely. I mean, if they have guns, I want guns. Yeah. That's how it should be. If you're a true, like, leftist, like a true, like hard left, if they have weapons, we should have weapons. I do feel like, obviously I live in the UK and we had one guy walked into a school and shot a load of people with handguns and we just had a blanket ban.

And we've never had it again since. So I do fully understand that it would work. and it should work but I think you couldn't even do it in America you banned them everyone would just literally go and kill the president don't take away my ads it's not

it's not a feasible thing for America and it's fine if the landscape is weapons get a weapon it's just the way it is like it's an unfortunate thing that we have such a mental health crisis and such a polarization

that we have things like mass shootings It's a terrible thing But I don't think that that should be the thing That makes it be like Oh right, well take all the fucking guns away It doesn't work like that We have Even where I'm from

We have like So many weapons I used to have a gun All these things And putting a ban Will not stop anything Yeah You're gonna get them through other means

The same way that we get drugs And things from wherever If I had a gun though I'd definitely be dead Oh that's why my gun got taken away. Yeah, there's not, there's been multiple times in my life when I've gone, if it was easier, I would have done it.

Yeah. Oh, believe me, the time I got my gun taken away finally is like, I had it like out on the table like this. And my girlfriend came on and she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, well, I broke the lock off the box and I've been playing with the gun. Yeah. And she's like, all right, we're getting rid of it. It's gone.

It's gone. And we haven't had one since. That's, there is a fair argument to be made against, like, mental health. people with mental health problems like me like I'm bipolar I have chronic suicidal audiation like I shouldn't have one readily accessible but I definitely want one if there was ever to be a action of tyranny or a revolution I definitely I want my gun then absolutely you know I yeah actually I just wouldn't be allowed one even if we were allowed they'd go look at the medical records nope not you we don't do that shit in America see I had to

I had to like fucking, I don't know if this is legal, fuck it. I had to like threaten my doctor this morning. Yeah. So as I said, I'll go on tour on Monday. Tomorrow's my last day, though, because I'm going to London.

And now just like yesterday realized that I didn't have my medication. Yeah. Like my anxiety medication. Oh, you've got anxiety? Shut up. And I was like, because I checked,

I phoned the pharmacy it was supposed to have been done last week, hasn't been like refilled by the doctor, spoke to the doctor's thing. And they were like, oh, you need a new GP appointment. It's like, well, actually now I'm going to go away without this in my, in my, like, because I couldn't get through them on the phone because we've got a national health crisis.

I had to, like, message them and just be like, just so, you know, I'm going away now without this because of you. And anything that happens is your fault. Yeah. And just like that last ditch, like, yeah. Hopefully they come through and fucking get to me. It's the same thing with the USA of friends who've been on. anti-anxiety,

benzos, since they're 15. I'm like, if you ever couldn't get your prescription, they could die. Yeah,

or you'll go somewhere else. I'm already thinking, like, I'm going to have to just, obviously I'm not going to go too metal, but I'm going to have to drink if something bad comes up. I'm not that bad.

It's just, sometimes I'll just be like, oh, that's a panic attack happening. Yeah. Let's just nip that in the bud. Yeah. I mean,

that's the way it should. Like, medication, like when I went to a psych, they put me on antipsych, and I went on, I had a manic episode for two and a half weeks. Because of the anti-psychotics. What was it? I don't remember the name of it.

But I just remember like, my girlfriend was like, please stop. Stop taking them. I'm like, no, the psych said I have to take these pills to like be better. And after that, I'm like, I haven't gotten any medication since. I'm like, I'm not going to do it. It's like, because they'll just throw your shit and be like, try this. See if it works. It's like, cool.

You didn't warn me that I'd be on a manic episode. for two and a half weeks. That was my, my worst one was like, mine came from like, obviously, fucking trauma dump. I had a real hard time

in my life. Oh, baby. And I wasn't sleeping because of it. And the doctor prescribed me an antidepressant and told me

that was going to help me sleep and then told me to take it at night time, right? Then I started taking this antidepressant and it would keep me up all night.

and it'd be like as if I was like on Molly. Yeah. And I was like, is this going to stop? And they were like, yeah, yeah, we'll stop after two weeks. It didn't. Yeah. It's suicidal ideation, all this shit. Oh, yeah.

Then I go through the, like, I went on WebMD for the thing. And it's like, must be taken in the morning. It's like, my doctor told me to take it at night. Yeah. It was made, and he was giving it for me for depression that was coming from not sleeping. And then, like, telling me it completely backwards. It made things so much worse. Yeah.

could have been so much wise. It's, it sucks how poorly people would like mental health things are treated because like even in Cali we have such a big problem with X. So like I've gone to them and hey, I have debilitating anxiety. Like I don't leave the house very much. Like,

please help me. They're like, here's Benadryl. We can't give you, we can't. Yeah. Sometimes I'll tell you that to go to sleep. Yeah.

They're like, we can't give you Xanax because of your history of abuse with it. We can't give you anything. I'm like, but you'll give me the anti-stice. psychotics and like mood stabilizers that make me go crazy. Yeah. But not the thing that like I know works for it.

I've taken it like it's supposed to be taken before. Yeah, just don't give me too much of it. It make me come back every fucking week. I'll do that. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, if you just prescribe that, I'll take them just for panic attacks. Yeah, that's what I'm currently, that's what I'm waiting on today is value. And it's like, it's only in an emergency.

I'm fucking a grown, grown up. Yeah. And like, I'm past my stage of abusing this shit. Like, if you just prescribe it to me. I will only be for what it's meant for. I'm sick of going to my girlfriend and be like, I need out of him because I'm having a panic attack right now. And I'm having to take her medication.

If you didn't have her, you'd go and fucking get drugs. Yeah, I was just hitting my dealer and be like, give me fucking a bottle. And then you end up with fucking fend and then you're dead. Exactly. And that's how it goes. It's sad.

Do you want to talk about something nicer? We just went from the transplight straight in drug addiction. It's like, that's pretty fucking. Pretty heavy. I've got a new section, which is a... Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. Which is asking AI to write a fan fiction about a C-U Space Cowboy. So, have you got any, like, in-jokes?

Okay, so we have one that Timmy Moreno is the king of misinformation. He's the king of saying something. Okay. It's proven false later. We also have a completely ironic thing about the Earth is flat. Oh, okay. Because we started listening to podcasts, Alan drives, and just listening to, like, the psychotic, like, Earth is flat.

We live in a dome. Have you ever done the Sasquatch ones? Yes. Pretty fucking good podcasts. I listen to this. I'm a believer. I listen to this YouTuber called Decoding the Unknown. And he does all, he's like a skeptic, but he does a breakthrough, a cold reading.

So people write him a script and he reads it all. And it gives us thoughts as they go along of like, South Squash, Lockness Monster, like all that shit. We never met to the moon. Okay, right. I'm going to write me a fan fiction

about the band, CU Space Cowboys, believing in flat earth, comma, Timmy is lying. Sometimes this works and it's perfect and sometimes it doesn't. But Simon will edit the ones that don't work.

There you go. The thing we might get. See you Space Cowboy from Cowboy Bebop. Yes. Yeah. Nice. So it's like you guys at my age, but you're not. Well, I grew up watching Tsunami.

It starts good. It knows who you are because, oh, I think we're good. Yeah. I think we're good. They're really, really nice. AI is being really nice. This is scary. This is fucking great.

I'm just cool. We got away from it because he, cheat, they. Still writing. Yeah. The AI. The AI. Did you just say they I? The AI.

They I. That's what they should change it to. I mean, I could start reading and it's going to come up. I've just got to double check. Nothing absolutely insane is going to come up. This is perfect. Once upon a time in the bustling city of San Diego, the Harkle band Sea Space Cowboy found themselves embroiled in unexpected controversy.

Controversy, whatever. wherever you're from. They had gained a reputation for their chaotic live performances and thought-provoking lyrics. But now they were about to embark on a journey that would challenge their beliefs and test their friendships. It all started when the band's bassist, Timmy, developed, and Timmy play bass? He used to. Yeah, he used to play bass. AI, fucked up, you're never going to get us.

It all started when the band's bassistish, Timmy developed an obsession with conspiracy theories. One day, he stumbled a play. on a video that claimed the earth was flat. Fascinated by the idea, Timmy began delving deeper into the rabbit hole, convinced that he'd discovered a hidden truth. He couldn't help but share his newfound beliefs with the rest of the band.

Initially, C.U. Space Cowboy dismissed Timmy's claims as an elaborate joke. They laughed it off, assuming it was just another one of his wild ideas. However, as weeks went by, Timmy became increasingly insistent, bombarding the band with a flood of articles, videos, diagrams attempting to prove his case.

Would this happen? See, it's AJ who's the prime conspiracy theory now. Oh, well, Timmy is Timmy now. Tim is Timmy, absolutely. The other members of Sea Space Cowboy, however, were not convinced. They knew that science had established

the Earth's rounder centuries ago, and they couldn't understand why Timmy was so adamant about his flat earth theory. Nevertheless, they decided to indulge him, if only to humor their friend and see where this journey would take them. This is fucking long. That's crazy.

Easy. One fateful day, the band sat in their cramped tour van. It's a bus now, actually, AI. En route to a gig in Los Angeles. Timmy had his laptop open, presenting a slideshow filled with dubious evidence supporting his flat earth claims. Vocalist Connie, renowned for her outspoken personality, I couldn't resist the temptation to challenge him. Can you read, just read this for me?

Timmy, come on. seriously believe in this. There's a wealth of scientific evidence proving the earth is round. Connie argued, frustration evident in her voice. Timmy leaned forward, his eyes alight with thurther. But have you considered that this is all a conspiracy, a grand cover-up to hide the true nature of our world? As the debate grew more intense, tensions rose within the van. See you Space Cowboys drummer AJ tried to mediate, reminding everyone that they were friends first and foremost, but their arguments continued threatening to tear the band apart.

It wasn't until they arrived in Los Angeles, the venue looming in a distance, that a solution presented itself. A renowned astrophysicist happened to be giving a lecture at a nearby university that very evening. CU Space Cowboy decided to attend, hoping that the scientist's expertise

would finally put an end to their disagreement. The lecture hall was filled with eager students and curious minds that anticipation palpable as the astrophysicist took the state. A hush fell over the crowd. The band members found themselves captivated by the speaker's eloquence and the evidence he presented all supporting the earth's roundness. See you space cowboy sat in awe.

Their eyes open to the overwhelming evidence and their faith in science reaffirmed. Timmy, overwhelmed by the clarity of the presentation, realized the flaws in his belief and to the extent that he had fallen into a conspiracy-laden rabbit hole. After the lecture, the band members gathered outside the venue, reflecting on the journey they had undertaken. Timmy felt a mix of relief and embarrassment. realizing he'd only been lying to himself all along. The band, however, embraced him.

That's crazy that AI just wrote all that. Other than getting like shit wrong on Wikipedia, which proves that like the info has to be there. It's flawed. But like, it's come up with stuff about your lyrics, your stage presence. Like, that was kind of cool. Yeah.

Easy. Good job, AI. But don't kill us in a robot war. Yeah, don't sky net at us, please. We've got to do one last thing and then we'd love. All right. We've got to curate your dream festival. Oh.

And I'm going to talk you through it. It's going to be nice and easy. Yeah, yeah. So where on, where would your dream festival? So the only rule is that Sea Space Cowboy is playing. Yes. There's no other rules. It could be anything.

It doesn't matter if it's completely not able to happen. It's like as if you woke up from a dream and you went, hey, guys, the earth's flat and I had this crazy dream. It is a festival. Where would it take place? Well, obviously I put it in San Diego because it's close to me. I could just be like, I'm going to wake up and go there. Are we talking about bands playing too?

Yeah, but I'm going to lead you into this. I would just do San Diego. Weather's great. Outdoors or? Outdoors. Is there a place? No, no, actually, okay, I do it indoors, but it had to be a massive building. Are you, is it a custom building a building for this?

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to build a custom building for this. It's going to be like 2000 cap. Nice. Nice sound system. Yeah. What's the decor? I'm going to do old theater. Nice.

I had that in my head anyway. I want opera boxes and shit. Is there a particular theater that you want to just steal and pop that in San Diego? that could happen there's a lot of those things i can't think of one that comes in mind immediately but i want that vibe i want it to be classy you know you haven't been to cocoa in london it's a good one yeah is it like that i want like royal royal red yeah yeah i want i want the red red curtains i want everything off the boxes filligree everywhere yeah i would do that even if i have to custom build it right we're custom building it 2,000 cap um

what is the catering The catering would be a amazing vegan Mexican food, like ensemble. You have a specific place in mind? They could cater it or you've got a specific dish? No, I'm going to take all the great takareas and burrito spots from all of San Diego and be like you're going to make your own fucking tacos or burritos or whatever you want. What's the good vegan one? Is there like a...

Grasas Madre is great. And faties is great too. But I'm just going to take a conglomerate of them. Everywhere from like the nice end places to like the not as nice places, but that have the best food ever. Nice. The way, the San Diego way. And what's your accommodation? Everybody just eats as much they fucking want and you get whatever you want on your rider.

All, I want open bar. Open bar. Yes, absolutely open bar. I want everyone out of a great time. Got a particular whiskey that you want? I want Okay, so this is going to sound bad Because this is my favorite whiskey to drink

It's not nice But I want Evan Williams That's my best friend As anybody in this band Would tell you Evan Williams My best friend Best cheap whiskey you can get That tastes the best

You want the cheap stuff I want the Kentucky Okay Where are you staying? Stay in my house You're going to stay at your house Yeah, I'm going to be 15 minutes away Ideally

Easy I don't go back to my place Who where is CU Space Cowboy playing on the bill? Are you you know,

a particular time that you enjoy playing? I'm going to say like festival, if it starts at noon, I want to play at seven. Yeah. Yes.

Right answer. And there's maybe two bands after you. Yeah, yeah. There's the headliners after us and it's all good. Okay.

Who's headlining? Modest Mouse, playing only, this is a long drive, lonesome crowded west and building something at a nothing or nothing out of something that's a long tear yeah but that's what that's who's they're playing

those albums only no massive attacks right before them wow playing mezzanine fuck yeah and it's entirety i'd be there yeah absolutely what do you think about the uh the banssy rumors is it massive attack i don't know nobody knows who bengs he's always wearing a hood everyone thinks it's the guy of massive attack yeah i know it's really fucking good evidence yeah maybe maybe not i mean i mean I mean, if he does his street art thing plus trip hop, good for him. A man, he's fucking raking. Yeah, absolutely. Doing massive attack as your sidekick because you're too busy like making literal millions.

Yeah. I don't know. And then C.U. Space Cowboys. So is there anyone heavy on the lineup? Zayos playing. Playing where blood and fire bring rest. And, um, Fibre 4 is going to reunite to do auto other people shake. This is a fucking 2004 festival.

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I could probably find a couple other heavy bands put on there that I would like, but most of my favorite bands, they're not heavy. What about a smaller band that you think needs more recognition that you can give a lifeline to be honest? I put old merit out on there for sure. Yeah. And foreign hands. Foreign hands is so good. Best modern metalcore band.

And they don't sound modern. That's the thing. They sound like poison the well and it's sick. We toured them a couple of times. I'm like, this is exactly what I want. I'm having a real poison the well revival at the moment where I just go, I haven't, gone back to it for maybe 10 years and I can't remember what it was I was in Japan. No, I was, I left Japan and I listened to Tear from the Red and I was like, I feel like I'm going

for a breakup and it ends up I just missed Brendan from Counterpass. And I was listening to Poison the Well and it's just like, oh, sick. Can Poison the Well play? I don't want to put words in your mouth, but can they play? Yeah, they can play. They're playing opposite of December front to back. I, to be honest, we go, I only take opposite and Tear from the Red and then. the same way. The other stuff. It's actually, you come before you,

I don't mind. But like the production on versions ruins it for me. Yeah. I mean, it was a weird time in music. It's the same thing in a lot of bands

from like back then. Like, digital stuff was becoming more prevalent. It's like, oh. So like people are playing around with things. Those are a couple albums. I'm like, I wish this sounded more like seeing them live.

Yeah. You know. And I've even talked to producers from back in the day. they'd be like, yeah, like, so-and-so band, greatest band in the world, but like in that experimental period, shit didn't pan out in that way that should have.

Especially like experimenting, like you said, with digital stuff. Are you ever, there's this period of movies of like around about the same time actually, or just like, late 90s, early 2000s, where everyone switched to digital for a while. And because at that point, digital wasn't 4K,

but they shot in digital. the movies now look bad forever because you can't upscale it whereas stuff that was done in film can be upscale to 4K so you watch like the Godfather and it looks better than watching like American Pie or whatever Yeah it's it's always that

Exactly the same level of good film It's that weird time of technology Where it's like it's the same way that we are with like AI nowadays I look at like AI art and I'm like Looks cool but weird I hate it. It's like, it's so uncanny valley that you're just like, what?

It just looks like I took mushrooms. Yeah, what is this? I watched a trailer for a, there's like a whole AI thing. Wes Anderson does Law of the Rings. And I'm like, it's a cool concept. But like, anytime I look too closely, anything, I'm like, this is just fucking bizarre. I did, um, I did a tweet when all those were going around and people didn't like it that much. I just said, AI prompt.

Wes Anderson's a Serbian film. No one's brave enough to make that one. No, absolutely not. It's a weird thing because me as like a graphic designer, like I do creative director work for bands

as like my other income. I'm like, will this eventually put me out of business? You just be like plug in an AI, be like, I want the art from a second story window meets fucking... Fuck me, I haven't heard that band name. It's so long. It meets like,

have avivu lolo's almart like that's what it is i'm like well that's what i do like am i going to be out of a job uh i think hopefully it just gets too samey my annoyance with it is not like i i like people being able like yourself being able to like well here's something in my skill set i can't do let me draw from something else yeah but like when i was sold on ai i thought it was going to be luxury space communism for everyone we're going to automate the banks first we're going to automate this. It's like, no, we come for artists. It's, it's, it's art and fucking deep fake porn. Yeah. And when they come, when they do it, I mean, they're already starting to do it well for music. Like, I know from looking at, when the people who think that they'll do some AI art,

and they're like, look what I've made. And then everyone's like, oh, wow, amazing. It's like, you haven't done anything. When that comes from music, when someone is able to write architect style chorus with Gojira breakdown, blah, blah, blah, blah. AI throws it up. And then they put it up and everyone's like, oh, that's amazing. Especially metalcore fans. No offense, but you suck. But, like, they were just going to be like, well, that's that then. I don't have to buy music or support music because I can just make my own with a computer.

It's a thing. I think especially as like metalcore, so like, here's my thing. I'm glad metalcore is having this big moment right now. This move towards like more overly produced metalcore, it's like cool. And it's advanced the genre to like a wide plethora of people. But at the same time, I'm like, I miss the hardcore. It's fucking stagnant. I mean, it's like you watch like old Converged shows.

It's like, it's crazy. It's like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's playing the most like advanced, like, thing that like, like, helped push this genre so far. But it's like just in a basement. It's like it's the sickest thing to me. And it's the same thing with AI. It's like, yeah, if that becomes a thing and it's like, it gets more generic. It's like, you got the Feldman boom here and like everything falls in the place.

I'm like, what was, what's the point of making music that's heavy? Yeah. I feel like people will get. fatigued with it. I'm already fatigued with like modern metal core production like foreign hands when that came out and and even like chamber when that came out

and the snare drum wasn't the snare from Paramour Riot and I was like, wait a minute, that's a snare from 2003 and that's fucking does. It's sick. There's a lot of bands that still do that kind of stuff but they're bands bands, bands. They're bands that people like me and you appreciate but

the general public doesn't understand. Chamber's sick. That's combined fucking converged metalcore with hardcore it's awesome yeah forehand is doing throwback it's awesome like throwback like metalcore but the general public's not going to latch on to that because they're like who the fuck is what the fuck is opposite of december yeah also the weird thing about opposite december as well it's like it's raw like yes the drums are real which is not a metalcore thing I mean, that's the thing. Even like when we went to like mix wave or like we made very clear like we want this

shit to sound like raw. It needs to have that gnarly energy. Yeah. I don't want it to be overproduced. I don't want to be crazy. I wanted to have that that nature of like. Stank. Yeah.

Yeah. Leave a bit of the stank. Yeah. Leave it in. Like distort things a little bit too much. Fuck it. I don't care. Drums don't need to be triggered and programmed.

Like it is going to play everything live for you. Like just a little bit of slop. It's good. Yeah. I love it. Especially in your kind of music where it is just like throw a bunch of shit around. Yeah. And that's the thing.

Even like when AJ was recording, we were having to like redo parts on the fly. It's like, oh, AJ record that a little bit differently. Okay, cool. Adapt. Nice. Survive. You know, don't, don't fix it. Don't put fake drums in there.

Like, we'll adapt. We'll make it work. Nice. You know. Cool. This is the cool shit. This is why we do the Dream Festival because we went off on a fucking million tangents. What's your ideal after party after your dream festival?

So, funny enough, this is what happened at Slam Dunk at the last day. And the artist bar tent, there was just a dance party. And club hits, free drinks. All the stronghold you could drink, essentially. That's what I would do. I'd be like, no more guitar music, no more nothing. Just club hits, everybody goes, gets hammered, has a good time. Good party.

And then you're 15 minutes from home. Yeah, then I'm just going to go home and fall asleep. Sleep it off? Yeah. That's it. Do anything you want to say? No. That's it.

I mean, we were talking for an hour and a half. Yeah. We got everything done here and got any statements. You can say a statement right to that camera if you want. You don't have to. I don't know. Make Melacore hardcore again. That's my big statement.

Thank you for coming on. Of course, my pleasure. Thank you for having me. I'd love to have you back. Yeah. Next time you're over. Absolutely. Fuck yeah.

Enjoy your show tonight. I'm going to try and then we're going to get them playing 11 hour flight to L.A. Let's get the fuck home. And then when's your next tour? Three weeks from now. Three months from now. Three months. He's going to be announced by the time this comes out.

I don't know. Well, this is going to come out in like a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, so I'll just say it and if we have to edit, we have to do. But we're going to be direct support for Nothing Nowhere. And it's also on the tour to dress a mid ring. Oh my God. That's a crazy tour.

That's such a good tour. Just had Static Dress was the last guest. So it's, oh really? You'd Ollie? Yeah. Olli and Sam.

Oh, but it's not come out yet. It will have been out by the time you guys are watching this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love satirest and night

and, you know, me and Ollie did vocals on Nothing Nowhere's album so it's like cool. And it should be a really sick tour. It's our first like, like tour

we're not just like opening slot, you know, for a week. a minute so and it's like it's it's the perfect tool oh yeah i mean just nothing nowhere us side dress like mood ring like that's like a crazy amalgamation of like two metal core bands you got nothing nowhere and you got mood ring doing the new metal things yeah it's gonna be sick yeah that tour will be good for you yeah i hope it goes well uh enjoy your show goodbye oh thank you