The Downbeat - Ed Gamble - Comedian

Episode Date: December 3, 2020

My guest this week is comedian and far-more-famous podcaster Ed Gamble. As well as being an immensely successful stand-up and TV comedian, Ed (alongside co-host James Acaster) also hosts one of the internet's biggest podcasts 'Off Menu' where guests share their dream menu. Unbeknownst to some Ed is also a keen metal fan, with a very surprising top 5 bands. I think he's more legit than me. Basically asked him what it's like to do comedy for a living, we talked about metal, and he made me a laugh a lot (LAL). Shout out to Sam Carter for facilitating this episode by telling his famous mates to come on. Peace!

Guys, I'm fucking distraught. I've got a serious confession. A deep, dark, depressing secret, a DDDS for you guys. I need to get it off my chest before this podcast gets underway. You know at the downbeat, we, I say we, it's just me. And maybe if it wasn't just me, this wouldn't have happened. We're trying to do this good quality shit, ain't me? Listen to my voice now.

Oh, it's crispy, crispy. velvety tone. Yeah, and that's what we try and do. Every episode, other than the Will Putney episode, massive Grammy-nominated producer Will Putney sent me a dog shit audio file, which, you know, looking back, is funny. But what's happened this week is that I've got a guest on, as I tell you, the guest is, my guest this week is Ed Gamble. Ed Gamble is a comedian from the UK. He's been, You know, he's on TV with Mock the Week. He has, at the time of speaking, the number one podcast in the UK, which is off menu with James Acaster, where they have a guest on, and the guest talks about their dream menu. And it's very, very funny.

So my guest this week is the number one podcaster in the UK. And what I've done, the stupid fucking idiot prick, me, Craig Reynolds, prick extraordinaire, is during the first, first sentence, that's sentence number one of the podcast, I have knocked my microphone or my interface or something and I've converted this glorious velvety tone you hear now into what I can only describe as original Game Boy audio, 8 bit bullshit and I can't do anything about it. I've tried to fix it. I've tried to tart it up a little bit, bit of lipstick on there, nothing. I would say it brings it down to maybe a nine in terms of content. You know, we're usually a solid 10.

It brings it down to sort of other people's podcast level of quality. Maybe, you know, not number one podcast in the UK quality. I mean like, you know, another metalcore musician. It's got a podcast. It's all done on Zoom. So it's one of those episodes that I fucking hate. And I'm sorry. And if you pay money to the Patreon, which is a www.

Flams.com. I suggest you cancel that as a punishment to me. Like my penance should be that you no longer give me the money. I need to rent the studio that we're planning to do the TV shit, because what if the shit happens all the time? So I'm actually, you know, all jokes aside, deeply depressed about this because I was very, maybe it's not as bad as I think it is, but when I listen to it, it sounds like I'm just farting into the microphone. My guest is being very funny. Ed's a very witty, funny man, and I'm just going, oh yeah, just diarrhea down the fucking microphone. It's Ed Gamble on the Downbeat podcast.

Gamble, I pulled in a fucking mate favour for this one. Because I would say you're the most, I don't know, I don't want to immediately just fucking suck you off straight away. The most famous non-musician on the podcast, there's not been many non-musicians. I'm sorry you may be a musician well I was going to know I'm not I'm absolutely not a musician but I was going to say I've looked at who you've had on the podcast you've not had many non-musicians so I think being the most famous

non-musician who's been on the podcast is it's not that impressive is it I mean the strongest man in Canada I mean you're the thing is the problem is that I can't I can't really get anyone to take it seriously unless they like metal right if I approach you someone I would love to have on the podcast and they look at it and they see the pentagram logo and they're like, what do you want me to do here? Yeah, it looks slightly intimidating from an outside perspective, right?

I mean, I hope so. That's the vibe I'm going for. That's the good thing about podcasts is you want to make sure that the artwork actively puts people off. Exactly. Exactly. I want people to go, well, I'm not listening to that. Yeah. That's the ideal.

So we don't, for anyone that's listening, we don't know each other until right now. first time seeing each other's faces. We've texted each other. Very handsome man, aren't you? Well, you too. What a lovely way to kick off a podcast with a bit of complimentary stuff. That chiseled jaw is absolutely insane. Oh, he's been to the gym or something. That's a big five litre ball of water. Yeah, you're trying to stay hydrated in lockdown. You know how it is. Working that chiseled jaw line out. But we've got a mutual friend of Sam Carter, Samuel David Carter. Yes. And I would never have approached you to come on this because you have an infinitely more successful podcast.

And I don't want to be the guy that's like, hi, guy with bigger podcast. Do you want to come on mine and I'll take some of your listeners? Because that's what it is, isn't it? It totally is. And I do get a bit of that. People do ask me to come on the podcast to, I mean, it's just to, I can promote my podcast on here. And it's all, you know, we're all one big podcast family. But quite often I'm too lazy to say yes.

So you caught me on a good night. One, the way, I think Sam caught you, because I was texting Sam, and he was like, you should get a gamble on the podcast, and I was like, I'd fucking love to. And he was like, ask him. I was like, well, I've got no way of asking him. He was like, I'll ask him.

I was like, okay, just make sure it's not like you pulling in some massive favour. Just ask him if he's up for it, and then he's up for it. And then he said you were, and I was like, yes, get him, get him, do the email, do the fucking whatever we've got to do. Well, Sam's so lovely. He's a very difficult man to say no to, to be honest. Yes. Also, he sent me some merch, so I can't say no now.

Oh, that old chestnut. He's very good for sending out merch, though, isn't he? Yeah. Just get a little text. Do you want anything? I feel like they made too much merch. I mean, that's not a bad place to be when there's no gigs, essentially. I was talking to, I was actually talking to Dan, architect's Dan the other day,

and we were just talking about the whole Royal Albert Hall thing. I'm sure you watched it. Yeah. The, all of this, when it boils down to it, obviously music is an art form and everything, and we've got stories to tell. But all of it in the music world, at least, everything you do, renting out the Royal Albert Hall is just so you can sell T-shirts, essentially, because you need the money from T-shirts right now. So it's like, okay, so we'll rent the most prestigious venue in the UK.

we'll play, you know, new songs. Obviously they want to get the new songs out there, but hopefully then people will buy T-shirts so we can survive. It's mad, isn't it? I don't really know how the economics of it works, but I guess is it records, records and T-shirts, really? I guess no touring at the moment. Not even records.

But like physical records, if you sell it like vinyl and T-shirts, essentially is what you're hoping to shift. Yeah, but even then, vinyl, but like CDs and digital. The label takes such a big cut. Yeah. It's just fucking might as well be t-shirts.

Do you sell t-shirts in comedy? So we have off-menu merch, which is my podcast. We've done that. We did a run of four different t-shirts. We've got four of our favorite artists to design t-shirts for us. We did like tote bags and stuff like that. Did we do an apron? We did a mug.

But that's the first... Aprons are fucking shout. Yeah, yeah, got to do an apron. But yeah, that's the first time I've ever done any merch. It's difficult. I think some comedians do merch, but like the bigger comedians who are doing like big arena tours. So, you know, you turn it up and you can buy it.

But who wants, I wouldn't wear a comedian t-shirt. Yeah, would it be like just their face? Yeah, it's like their face or like a line from the show or like a catchphrase if they're like it. And I'm not going to wear it. So I wouldn't make it. But the off-meny stuff is cool because we got like, obviously I managed to sneak a sort of black metal design in there as well. But yeah, we got some really cool stuff made.

But I think for my stand-up, it'd be weird. Well, you just have like Ed Gamble and then my face. It's bizarre. It reminds me of the extras episode when everyone in the crowd is wearing the... That's exactly what it is. The slogans, yeah. Yeah, and he looks at the people wearing the t-shirts. He's like, this is not what I wanted to do.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck, I could watch it all day. The black metal t-shirt. Did you get a legit designer? So we got Ian Seller. who is a brilliant tattoo artist and graphic designer from Bristol and he's done three of my tattoos and he's really good and he gets it and he's like a comedy fan and a metal fan so I just thought

it was perfect so we got so there's a running joke on the podcast that I love cheeseboards and James Acaster absolutely hates them so we got like me and like hood it up with corpse paint on and then his head chopped off on a plate with like fondue in the in the in the skull. That's so sick. Yeah, it's really cool. It's really cool. I like that you're out there with how much you like metal. Again, I wouldn't have even bothered. I'm hoping, because at the end of day, anyone that listens to the podcast knows, I wish I was a comedian. But what I do, but what I do have is like a cool platform. But you've had Corey on off menu. Yes. Obviously, technically with this being Knopfest, I guess, without, I guess he's technically my boss overall, but not.

really but do you know what i mean there's there's a if he called you up and told you to do something you'd probably have to do it right yeah it well if he said ed gamble episode delete it now because of the because the shit you're about to say in about 10 minutes time and completely defame the whole notfifest platform so i when sam said you might be up for it i was like i could i could i want to be a comedian but maybe he wants to be in the metal world so i could steal him for a fucking yeah exactly well no there is there's an element of that definitely I love chatting about metal

I like speaking to people in bands and stuff so yeah that if this was any other genre if this was a hip hop podcast I'd probably I actually know I like hip hop as well I don't have much on at the moment speaking of not having much on like

where are you from where are you based now so I'm based two questions I've given you two questions Well, they're sort of both. I mean, London is the answer for both of them. So I'm based in East London now, but I grew up in southwest London. So I haven't really moved very far. But yeah.

So pretty much London all my life. I went to, I went to uni in the northeast. So I lived there for three years. But apart from that, I've always lived in London. Yeah. Not very exciting. The most sort of bland middle class, like suburban upbringing. I mean, it's still a lovely place though, isn't it?

I'd love to live in London. Where are you? I mean, funnily enough, I'm in Glasgow. I mean, Scotland's London. I mean, Glasgow is beautiful, though. Big, big Glasgow fan. That's a whole different story like how I'm here, which you don't need to know this.

Everyone that's listening already knows the tumultuous circumstances that have led to me being locked down in Glasgow, but I'm loving it. Good. So my next question was going to be, I don't have any questions, by the way. I'm just trying to be, like, slightly professional. In my head, I've got three ways that we're going to do this.

We're going to do... Ed Gamble, the man. Why is he what he is and how he does? Right? Then we're going to do the podcast inside of things. Yeah. Because your big, big fucking shot podcaster. And then we'll do the metal, which would be the...

If this was off menu, that would be the main. Yes. Got you. Got you. Just see what I've done. then used your podcast. But we're going to put the main at the end? Yeah, well, there'll be no dessert. Okay, right, okay. Well, this is going to be a very disappointing audio meal for everyone.

The analogy is fucking dead in the water. So, what the fuck are you doing in lockdown? Like, is podcasting your main thing? Yeah. Or have you got other shit going on? No, for sure. I mean, lockdown one was, I mean, obviously, mad for everyone. But I was doing a lot of podcasting. I was doing online gigs for a bit,

which I now have refused to do. Oh, go on, go on. Come on. Stay on that for a little bit. I thought I'd, you know, it's a new thing and the novelty of it. I thought I'd give them a go. But they were just kind of bleak. Some people are really good at them, but no one really knew how to put them on properly. So some of them you could hear the audience. you could hear everyone watching so they'd all have their mics on in the Zoom but it was kind of distracting how many people

well sometimes like you'd have a hundred people or 200 people and you could hear all of them which was obviously too much so some oh my god who okayed this the thing is like obviously like people wanted to keep going and they wanted to sell tickets

and they wanted to keep the gigs going which is great and I was happy to do them for that but then there was some where there was like a front row so there would be like eight or nine people on the Zoom with you. So you could see faces and you could get reactions and stuff. And that was kind of okay. But then I did quite a few where the compel would be on the Zoom and they'd be like,

please welcome, Ed Gamble. And then you'd have to like hit, unmute yourself and put your video on. This is like a black, this is like a black mirror episode. Yeah, exactly is. My asshole was going, well, just thinking about fucking doing that. Do you have like Zoom PTSD? from that. I mean, so the ones

where you couldn't hear anything so the ones where you just went onto the Zoom and you could only really see your own face and you were doing jokes and getting nothing back because everyone was on mute

were proper. I mean, it wasn't just PTSD, it was TSD. And I think I need, I worked out with gigs, I need the journey there and I need the journey back to fully enjoy it

because I was like doing the gig, not having any adrenaline because there was no buildup. I'd just have dinner and then come up and do a gig. Fucking full on pasta meal. Yeah. And then I'd like, you know, shut the laptop and just go back downstairs again. So there was no like adrenaline flow or anything. It was kind of made you feel a bit dead inside. So I saw I'm doing less and less of those now.

Yeah, that sounds horrible. Yeah, so that was pretty horrible. But podcasting's all fine over Zoom. I've enjoyed that. And I've, you know, I've dipped my toe into trying to do. some other projects, you know, you know, start writing a book, start writing a sitcom, that kind of thing. But they're very, very early stages. That was just knocking around ideas. But yeah, do you get the guilt? Do you get the guilt of, oh, I've been thinking about doing a sitcom? If I'm not

going to do it now, I'm never going to do it. I've got all this fucking time. Totally. But I get the guilt as well because I would say, yeah, oh, I've got a full week now. I don't even have any podcasts. I'm literally just at home. I should be able to make a good crack on this. And then you get to Thursday and you're like, well, I've done nothing. I'm a useless. piece of shit. Yeah. All the time I get that. But lockdown too, I've not, I've let that go.

I'm not being guilty. Yeah, I'm sailing through this one. The last one, absolute mental breakdown. Like, what? Really, really didn't come out of that last one. This one, I'm like, this is fucking, what? Three weeks, Boris, three weeks? Fuck here.

We can handle that. The thing is, when we came out of lockdown one, they started putting gigs back on because they could work out a way of doing, Some gigs were inside a little bit later on but then they had some outdoor gigs in the summer and I did drive-in gigs. I did like four driving gigs

which let me tell you was an even more Black Mirror Blake experience. More TSD? Yeah, so much TSD. Lloyd's TSD? It's Lloyd's TSD, mate, because people were honking their horns instead of laughing.

No fucking way. I want to fucking smash my MacBook app right now. Because everyone's just sat their cars, in their bubbles, and then you'd make a joke and they'd all honk or flash their lights. Fuck right off. That is fucking... I never even thought of the access to buttons, because they're doing drive-through gigs. Yeah. But the honking, of course people are going to honk. Yeah, that's how you would show appreciation, because their part was quite far away. What sort of honk are we talking?

Well, this kind of, it's very difficult to get different tones in a honk, right? Did people have, you know, like some people have like a distinctive, like, Jimmy Car laugh? Did you have like one fucking truck over there that was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, but it turns out that was just Jimmy car laughing. All right, Jimmy. Yeah, that was a bizarre experience. I don't want to do those again. But again, I'll do anything once or twice for the novelty.

But as long as the novelty isn't TSD. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But now, so now, like, then gigs came back. little bit but they all felt a bit weird so uh because they were trying to obviously get round the um get around the problems but social distance audiences just feels like you've not sold very well uh anything closer than that you feel like it's being dangerous i did what there's an amazing comedy venue in uh in north london called the bill murray which is a pub they took over basically and turned it into a little comedy room um and the way they did it because it's quite a small

room is they put a perspex sheet in front of the stage um So you're basically like essentially wearing a huge body mask to block you off from the audience. The whole stage? Yeah, the whole front of the stage is just a massive Perspect sheet hanging from the ceiling. Like a Popemobile, but... Yeah, exactly. It's exactly like a Popemobile. But what they hadn't factored in, and it was genuinely funny, when they turned the stage light on,

you could see a perfect reflection of yourself in the Perspect sheet for the whole thing. So I did, I did an hour of comedy this close to my own face. This is your book. Because this is, this is so fucking, like, these are the things that I would never have thought of that, like, problems that have arisen from this very unique situation. Yeah. But the problems in themselves are so fucking funny. Yeah, exactly. I'm really, I'm kind of proud of stand-up comedy for working out all those different ways of doing it safely. but I really hope it doesn't come to that again.

I really hope we get the vaccine sorted. Because when that's sorted and we can have proper gigs again, it's going to be a fucking laugh. I mean, same with you guys, right? The general consensus is there's like, so we had, I mean, our first cancelled gig was April, was a US tour which got canned and it was like, it's getting moved to July, it'll be fine.

And then we were like, oh yeah, cool. And then July comes in. like, oh yeah, it's looking more like December. And we're like, yeah, that's fine. And then it got to like the fucking peak. And then it was like, okay, gigging is over for 2020, probably 20, 21. And then they were talking about there was a lot of, like, booking agents and everyone were just still booking. Because obviously they have to or I said, don't have a job.

So they were like, in their heads, they knew like, this is not going to happen. But it's either this or I don't sit on my computer do any work. Yeah. So people just kept moving things, moving things. But then since the vaccine announcement, the general underbubble of people talking is festivals, maybe, next summer, because it's quite easy. It's easier to shield and socially distance or whatever. And then general consensus is with a vaccine passport type thing where you would get it and then be able to travel. Then international touring could be back.

Yeah. The end of next year. Well, that would be amazing. That would be amazing. I'll take that because in my head I was like, oh, this is it. It's just done now. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, festivals coming back would be incredible. I mean, download would be an absolute, just people are going to go fucking insane, aren't they? People that would have died from the virus will now be dying from partying. Survived the virus.

D drank two liters of vodka dead. But I'd imagine your gigs are pretty like full. on anyway, right? The first one back after this, if everyone feels safe, is going to be, it's going to be, it might even just be awful. Something really bad might happen. It might be quite dark, quite sinister. I think they'll, I think, I don't know how they're working, but I think in general there might have to be like a tighter, you made a funny joke, and no, I'm like, actually, I think there might have to be a tighter legislation with the public liability insurance, because obviously if you like, let's say, our,

singer was a silent carrier or whatever and he didn't have the vaccine and then there's a kid with asthma on the front row kid with asthma gets it dies like Randy from Lamb of God told a kid to stage dive yeah the kid did it died and then he went to jail yeah like let alone coughing an infectious virus on for a kid so I think someone I have to change so if it does and there's a real strict public liability thing that every every person at the gig has to sign I am okay if I die then the shows are going to be nuts because it'll be like

I want to see everyone stay you've all signed the paper yeah okay I want to see everyone climb up and jump off the top of the fucking 5G tower next to the venue I was saying I actually said to Sam recently we were texting about the first gigs back are going to be amazing

can't wait for it and I did have to admit that I probably even the first gig back I'll probably still leave about 10 minutes before the end, so I missed the rush on the tube. Oh, big time. I'm not staying until the end. Absolutely. I had a, I was told it before in the podcast,

but like my favourite band of all time, but obviously I love metal and everything, but my favourite band of all time is Radiohead, just forever. And I managed to get, when they did the Roundhouse, like two years ago, I managed to get tickets, and obviously Radiohead in a 3,000-cap venue

just doesn't happen. And then my mate, when he was sorting it out for me, was like, yeah, so do you want seated or standing? And the kid in me just immediately went, oh yeah, standing, stand, yeah, I didn't sitting, standing. I got an hour in, fucking hated it. My favourite band of all time was like, oh, my back hurts. I could be sat there, up there in the rafters, just watching nicely.

Yeah. I love it. Live for the rocking, but please, give me a seat. I'm a drummer. I need to sit down. I always get standing, but I really think I'm going to make the switch. soon. I think I saw, I've only seen, no, obviously I went to see Metallica a couple of years ago at Twickenham and obviously got seated there because I'm not going to stand up at Twickenham Stadium.

Got to get a seat and then obviously leave before the end. Did you enjoy it? I did enjoy it. It's more like a theatre show at this point, right? Yeah. Especially if you're sat down. I mean, you know, the lights were good. There was a lot of, the videos were good. The videos. were good. I mean, what songs would you miss if you left 10 minutes before the end

with Metallica? Like, I can't, I've seen Metallica. All the songs that you'd probably seen live before anyway.

I can't even think what, because I feel like every time that I've watched Metallica, like the real bangers, they are dropping them early.

Master of Puppets is coming out fucking early. Yeah, they kind of sprinkle them through, right? I mean, if I'm missing Enter Sandman, thank fuck,

because I honestly don't care. Sorry, I think we did. I think we heard Enter Sandman as we were walking to find a cab, to be honest

What fuck are they ending with then? I really want to... I mean, I'm not... I can look it up now. Putting you on the spot. Excuse me, you're a real metal fan. You don't know what Metallica ends with. Yeah, but also I hate admitting this as well

because I am a Metallica fan but also not that bothered. Yeah, same. There's so much shit. I think they have a lot of amazing stuff and then a lot of broadly fine stuff. So I'm not like a proper Metallica obsessive or anything.

Yeah, there's like 11 Metallica albums there's four. Yeah. Exactly. So the man, Ed Gamble is there. He lives in London. There's never any script

for my podcast. Yours, I can hear that yours has, you know, you've got the sparkling water, you got the fucking... Oh, sure. We need a structure because it wanders off so easily.

Anyway, like, we need to come back. The one time I tried to do structure, it was like the worst episode ever. I just felt like press, like so. it says here that I was just like

now fuck that I'll just have a basic idea so why are you a comedian how did it happen I don't want to go fucking too mental

but like why do you love metal but you're not a metal musician and how did the comedianing come about that word I am not naturally

musically talented anyway. So I was never going to be, I was never going to be a musician, I don't think. I just never... You just wrote that off. You wrote it off at an early age. I think so.

It never appealed to me. Like, I love watching bands. I love listening to metal. I've never had that itch to be like, I wish I could make this. I'm perfectly happy to let other people make it and I enjoy it. Nice. Comedy.

It's not like a Zen sort of Buddha vibe. I think my ego is too big. I'm like, I can't comprehend that concept. What, being okay with someone else being better at something than you. But I've got no idea how I would make it. So I've literally got no in. I've never, but with comedy, the first live comedy I saw when I went to uni, I went to see the sketch group at the uni I was at.

And I immediately thought, oh, this is okay, I could do better than that. Nice. That I had an idea of what I wanted to do and how I would do it. And it just felt accessible to me, whereas music's never felt accessible. What did you do at uni? Philosophy. Funny. That's the funny man's.

That's the funny one, right? I always say, like, because I did just basically do comedy, because we were just writing comedy and rehearsing it and doing shows pretty much for three years. And then I would do the bare minimum for the course. But I think philosophy is the closest thing you can get to stand up. anyway, because you're coming up with your own ideas as well as studying other people's thoughts and you sort of have to structure arguments and all of that. And that's all stand up routines are.

It's just a ridiculous idea and then you structure an argument around it. So it felt. Is that how it works? Do you think of just like you're in the shower and you think of something funny and you go, that's funny? And then you don't tweet it. You work out around it or do you have like a concept of like, well, that's pretty funny? shall I flesh this out and add it into a pick?

Like I've got no idea how you build like a stand-up. Well, for a start, I would tweet it probably. Good. Because there's so much stuff available out there that I don't think there's such a thing as burning material anymore, really. Like, not even, like, it used to be if you did a routine on live at the Apollo, you couldn't do it live anymore because millions and millions and millions of people had seen it. But now there's so many different platforms. that there's less and less people watching each one. It's so thinly spread that you can probably do a funny idea,

tweet it, base a routine around that, do it on TV, and then tour that routine. It's not going to affect things. Yeah, it's all right. That's a good, that's a good markup on the joke. Yeah, the money's low.

It's like a 200% return. The way I tend to do things now, I mean, it's chaos that my creative process, which heavily inverted commas around that is absolute chaos I tend to work on things on the stage I need to, I need to gig to be able to write.

You just go out there, raw dog and fucking... Not fully raw dog. I'm trying to extend the analogy I'm not going to. You can do it, it's fine. I've told insane stories on here. At some reason,

never been pulled up on them. Not fully raw dog. I would Normally stories I would pull out I would normally If I've got a story Or an idea for a story

I would go on with that And maybe two or three Funny things That happened around it And then I just talk And the way I link it up Is improvised And just trying to come up

With funny things around it And that normally works But I just need to drill that For gig after gig After gig It's never finished Because they could always be another bit I could come up with.

So you've got the story basics and then you just fucking... I imagine if you're a funny guy which you are, extra funny shit happens and then you think in your head I'll keep that bit.

Exactly, yeah, exactly. It's a bit like making music. It's the same thing. I'll make a drumbeat or riff and then you go, you'd sit on it for a while or you accidentally do something and you're like, fuck,

that's actually cool. Yeah. But you wouldn't work on it on stage though, right? That would fuck everyone else up If the drummer started improvising, wouldn't that fucking wrong that? Yeah, sometimes. I've got sections in our set that I'm like, I will fucking raw dog a section.

How does that go, like? Usually quite well, but sometimes a big, big flubs happen. I remember in Spain. I was somewhere in Spain. And there was a film where it's like sometimes, sometimes I'll do a blast beat, sometimes I'll do some fucking mad other film. And that night, I'd been drinking the night before. and I hadn't really decided.

Usually when that song starts, I'll decide I'll do the blasty one because I'm feeling quite good now, or I'll do the Philly one, hadn't decided, got to one second before that fill, went, I haven't decided which one, and I just stopped playing. I just went, and then got back into it, so there was just an empty bar where there should have been a fill. Yeah. And it ruined my week.

But sometimes I'll do something, I'm like, oh, that's sick, and then it will come up in writing later on. I'll be like, oh, remember that Phil? Remember that raw dog feel that I did? Yeah, I think sometimes you just need to be on stage. You need to be in front of people to have that pressure. I feel like that that's what it is. With people looking at me, then my body panics,

and I have to come up with something, and that's normally how I get the best stuff. The little synapses fired together. We've got to get out of the situation by making a joke. That's fucking sick. That's why online gigs are never going to help me, because if I'm on stage and there's people there, there's no way I can get out of it other than coming up with something.

An online gig, I could just shut my laptop. I'm still shook about you telling me the online gig situation. Like, the concept of that is so Orwellian, just horrible. But it's kind of... We did Mock the Week the other day. We recorded Mott the Week on Tuesday. And now in this lot of...

you're not allowed a studio audience. Before we could have 100 people in the studio audience socially distance with masks and an audience on Zoom. But we weren't allowed a studio audience this time. So it's just a Zoom audience. So we recorded it as normal in the studio, but in front of two massive screens with hundreds of people on Zoom.

Was that good? It was all right, actually. They kind of, you know, I think they all wanted to be there. So they were up for the show. But there is a weird gap. in between you telling a joke and them laughing. So Mock the Weeks a nerve-wracking show to do anyway

because you're in front of a lot of people and you're in front of your peers and you want it to go well and they're filming it. And it's all new material. So, you know, you've never said most of this stuff before. And with the Zoom, you're like, sail a joke out there. And then there's a literal gap.

Like a gap. We're waiting for a fill. Oh, my God. And then if it lands, it lands. But if it doesn't land, you're like, oh, please. Please tell me that everyone's muted themselves. It's like you're fucking driving a joke with a driver at the beginning.

It's like... I do tend to scream... I'm in the rough. I do tend to scream four after all of my jokes anyway. I actually have... This is... My 2020... Is it 2020?

It's 2020. I'm fucking my brain's dead. My 2020 New Year's resolution, right, was because I have in my phone, in my notes folder, I have a small stand-up routine. Yeah. And it was my 2020 fucking New Year's resolution that I was going to go and do an open mic night and not tell anyone just to just do it.

Yeah. To see what it was like. And then the world exploded. Yeah, you want to hold on to it. But yeah, I'd wait until the gigs are back to normal because I can't think of anything worse than doing your first gig at a COVID-safe environment. COVID-safe.

And it's also, I need to do it secretly because it's really treading the line of being okay to say the stuff. Right. So it's like, it's really on there. But I'm like, I think it's fine, but there's only one way to know. Yeah, exactly. There's nothing insane. I'm not being racist or anything.

My new stand-up special. No. So, how many podcasts are you doing right now? So we got off menu, which is the food one. Explain off menu. Yeah, sorry, if you've not heard it. I know it's the biggest fucking podcast in the world or whatever it is, but there will be metal people with long air who only know Bill Bailey,

listening to this. Right. Well, we've not had Bill Bailey on, unfortunately. He's on our hit list. So it's a food podcast, myself and James Acaster, and we interview a special guest about their dream meal, essentially. We say it's in a dream restaurant and that James is a genie waiter and we take them through their dream meal. So it's still a sparkling water, popadoms or bread, starter, main, side, dessert, drink.

And we just chat around that and it's dumb. It's dumb as hell. It's very funny. It's a very silly podcast, but it's also, we like talking about food. So we're quite serious about the food side of things, but also very silly. And I love doing it. so I do that and you get

you get free food because of it I've seen on your Instagram it's ridiculous I never thought I'd be that guy but I love it like I get offered other stuff I don't like

and I don't take that but with the food I'm completely shameless because I fucking love it and I'm going to put up pictures of it and I'm going to eat it and I'm basically manipulated myself into my dream career

I'm exactly the same but it's like oh I get drum stuff for free which is you know by now I should be getting it for free But when a brewery is like, oh, we want to send you some beers, I'm like, apps are fucking loop that you can do that. And I will drink it on the podcast, signature brew, signature brew London.

I will drink it on the podcast and everyone will have a nice time. And I'll post it on my Instagram. You know what? I'll post it as if I haven't got it for free. So it looks like I've paid my own money for it. So these people go, well, he's paying his own money for it. I'll do it. I'm very careful about that.

I don't do that. I'll make sure I say it if it's a gift or not. Oh, have I just fucked myself? Am I not allowed to say that? But also, I will post stuff I do pay for as well just because I like showing people what food I'm eating. Yeah, just... I get excited.

Oh, there are rules about paid, paid... I'm not getting paid, though. I'm getting paid in beer. Stop fucking trying to get in trouble with. I'm not, look, look at. Keep having your signature brew, you're all right. Oh, that's a fucking get that on the... I'll have another crate, please, guys.

I like the sustain one. The Passion Fruit IPA. It was gorgeous. So you got off menu. It's very funny. You've had, Sam Carter's been on it. This is what I wanted to ask you. Do you approach the guests or do they approach you now?

It's normally, so it's a mix. So it's normally us approaching them. But then some, so sometimes it comes through PRs when people are promoting things. Sometimes it's mates. Sometimes it's mates of mates. It's like it's a whole big mix-up of how we get people. At the moment, there's just a lot, it's a lot of through PRs. So you've, because listeners of this will, Sam Carter's been on there.

Corey Taylor's been on there. Cory Taylor's been on there. I obviously, Sam, you knew each other before. We kind of didn't. We kind of didn't know Sam before. Like I think I got chatting to Sam. obviously I'm an architect's fan anyway but I got chatting to Sam

because he messaged me about the podcast because he's a listener and he'd done my friend Joel Domit's podcast as well and yeah we just thought it'd be a good shout so we got him on but the first time I met him properly was doing the podcast record and Corey obviously came through a PR

situation we were trying to get him for ages because I'm a massive Slipknot fan and when they were over in January we nearly got him but then the schedule didn't work out so we just we did it on Zoom in the end but yeah but I'm glad the schedule didn't work out because to apologise they let us go to the slip-knock recording made avail

I was also there where yeah I was there it was absolutely incredible I mean what a day that was who were you there with I was there with my friend Kieran our producer the Great Benito and our producer the Great Benito's friend guy

neither of whom know really about Slipknot or are into metal and were just stood there like two tourists absolutely baffled by the whole thing as clown was in front of them like thrashing about

and it was making me laugh so much because the Great Benito is not a metal fan but it was so funny to see clown came up to me you can see it on the BBC fucking live thing came up to me and went literally directly in my face while he was doing the thing and I met clown over the last three or four days because I was on the Slipknot bus for a bit

because my friend V-Man plays bass and I'd met him a few days earlier so we were on like speaking terms but then he isolated me in that hole when he was in the crowd situation I didn't know what to say I said and you can see me on the fucking camera just I just went right mate while clown is going absolutely fucking mental in fucking weight and bleed or whatever it was I just went alright mate and I'll tell you what clown if you're listening you probably are actually because it's not fairs you've got black makeup all over a very nice reverse weave champion hoodie that I have that now I am not as rich as you and it cost nearly 90 pounds that hoodie and now it's

ruined with clown makeup Is it ruined though or is it more unique? Well, it's not unique if I'm fucking walking a dog and someone's like, that guy's falling over. I'm going to have a sign that says clown from Slipknot did this. I went to a Slipknot signing in 2000 at Virgin Megastore. You're a day one maggot.

Oh yeah, totally. And Paul signed my arm. and then I had to wash it off for PE two days later and I was devastated. Oh, fucking hell. Imagine how much that arm would be worth now. Right. Fucking mental.

Well, I don't want to talk more about Slipknot because I imagine we're going to talk about Slipot later on. You've got the one podcast off menu. It's very funny. Everyone should listen. You get, oh, this is what I want to ask you about that. Did you ask for David Cross or did was that PR? no so that worked out really nicely actually so uh we were in america we went to america to record episodes

we just thought we'll get as many people as we can and we put out you know requests to requests to loads of agents uh and some of them got back to us some of them didn't but our producer uh used to work for time out he used to do the comedy pages on time out um and he had people's emails from that when he interviewed them and he just sent loads of emails out on the off chance and that's how we got david cross and uh susy Esman just replied to him saying like, hey, Ben, yeah, sure, absolutely, I'll come and do it. And he was just super cool, just rocked up and did it. It was great. I love David Cross. The arrested development, obviously, Tobias, but fucking, do you ever watch Tim and Eric? Now and again, I kind of, I'm not delved into Tim and Eric enough, I don't think. There's like two sketches with David Cross in it, one where he's like a cat painter.

Yeah. And another one where he's like a pizza boy in a porno. And it's just so, It's like anti-comedy, just not funny, so not funny that it's funny. But he's amazing. We were very happy to get him. Yeah, he's a big fan. So good. So off-menus your main podcast gig. But then you got radio gig?

Yeah, I do. And you've got lifers. Yeah. So I do show on Radio X with Matthew Crosby on Sunday mornings on Radio X 8 till 11 a.m., which is too early. And they podcast that as well. So that I always say that is a podcast, but the main gig is doing the show on Sunday mornings and then they edit it and put it out. And then Lifeers, which is eight episodes, eight episodes, a Spotify exclusive podcast where I interview sort of bands.

So, bands who are still going but never hit it massive is the majority of the bands. That's the sort of story. We're just delving into the stories. And then also a couple of episodes with newer bands and how they're, sort of facing up to a career of music now things have changed quite a lot so it's just an interview series with bands that I like or people with interesting stories some of whom I hadn't really heard of you had the guy from Diamond Head on it yeah we yeah we did he was great he's like I always just feel for him like what he must think watching Metallica obviously

I haven't actually listened to that podcast episode I imagine he goes into it but just watching Metallica just he is the most positive man in the fucking world he is the most positive man I've ever met in my life. I think he's got a love, I think he's genuinely got a lovely life. And I, I went into it thinking, I'm going to get that story. I'm going to get him being sad. Being gutted. You're being gutted. Minnie Dave Mustaine story. Yeah. But then you find out he's very happy. He's got loads of pets and a lovely wife and Metallicapeum royalties. What pets? Snakes. Has he got snakes? He's got like cats and stuff. In fact, that was weird. Like we went to a lot of metal musicians' houses

and most of them had a cat or a dog. I'm currently in the presence of a miniature chihuahua called Pamela Anderson, who is behind the radiator there. And then three cats, one of which, Pepper, was initially trained to actually shit into the toilet. There's like a device that you can get to help the cats. And they use it as a litter tray. But she's at some point, not the brightest. She has just taken that to mean any sort of enamel porcelain area.

So what will happen on the daily is she will just shit in the bath. Like a huge big, as they say up here, a huge big honking joby. Just in the bath. Sometimes it, no cat litter. And she's like, she's like, she's like a mad woman. Like, because she does it. And then she scratches around as if there's litter there. But she's just scratching air with this shit in the bathtub.

I feel like that's your fault for trying to train us to shit in the toilet, though. I will not take the credit for that. That was actually my girlfriend. But if it had worked, fantastic. Something went in. The shit on white areas only went in, but not quite that. So you had Brady from Conjurer on Lifers as well. Yes, yeah, we did.

Unbelievable band. Yeah, incredible. I can't wait for their next album. He's sort of banging on about it online quite a lot, but who knows what they're going to do with it? But no, I'm a huge fan of that band. I mean, he will absolutely hang me from their afters for expressing a genuine feeling about them because he is an online troll, as I'm sure you know. Yes. But they are, yeah, that was great.

That was great that we got to go to Nottingham, I think it was, to record that interview and then watch some sound check and do a gig and stuff. It was, yeah, it was a lot of fun. So we had them on and we had Jamila from Ethel. thicker as well with the sort of newer bands we had on. Nice. I, Conjura, honestly, were the only R. I guess R. No, there's been a few since then, but at the time when Conjura came out when that

album came out, I was like, this is the best small band on planet Earth right now. And then I tried to manage them. And they were currently managed by someone else. Then they lost them. And I was like, I've never really, I've sort of self. I self-manage my own bands back in the day. Self-manage, obviously, podcasts and clothing and whatever. So I was like, I'll never manage a band.

Even though I think, arguably, I'd be reasonably good at it. I'll never manage a band until it's a band that I hear and I go, I need to manage that bad. And it was, it was conjurer, and we were talking for a while, and I was helping them out for a while. And then they made one decision behind my back, and I fucking threw my toys out of the pram. And I was just like, all right, fine, fuck it.

you don't want to do this? That, and that's it. And I don't regret it because I think that they will, I think they're still self-managing now, and I think they will get the right manager, and they will be fucking John. Brady's a proper, like, businessman as well, though. Like, he's so across it.

I think he's, uh, oh. I never expect, they need someone. I never expected to see, like, spreadsheets and stuff when I started doing that podcast, but he, he is on it. yeah and they they also they blur the line between music and comedy quite well which is what i love we try and do it with stray as well which is like the music is so serious but then off the stage we're the absolute it's not like a gimmick or whatever but off the stage we are just the opposite the music is there and that is what that is for but if i want to make

a funny tweet or tell a story about how i did some drugs and put stuff up my own ass then that shouldn't be Yeah, no, I completely agree. I've got like like, yeah, their Twitter account's very funny. Old Man Gloom are very funny on Facebook. And it's like, it doesn't take away from the seriousness of the music at all. You don't have to be sort of like a Po-Face of Norwegian black metal band.

You can have fun off stage. And Cundra will do things like they play Carly Ray Jepson as their pre-show warm-up music. And then just rip it afterwards. Yeah. Did you see the smash mouth t-shirt they did? No. That's honestly what made me think, I'm going to check out this band.

Honestly, I hadn't heard the band. And then I saw, they just had a t-shirt with the guy from the All-Star Smash Mouth video and it just said conjurer. It was a photo of him. And then on the back it said, and the riffs start coming and they don't stop coming. And it just said that over and over again,

and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming. Because you know the meme of it just The song just going on And I was like I'm going to check this band out And I put it on I was like oh my fucking God They're so good And funny

That's all I ask from every single person In the world Just be funny And be good Or be nice I'll take nice at a fucking Third place Be decent human

But I would much rather you With the first two Than the third one I think we can start talking about metal now Let's do it I think we can get the fuck right in there. This is always when I get slightly scared because I do like metal and I talk about it publicly a lot. And then people ask me about it and my brain empties and I suddenly go, everyone's going to think I'm a fraud, Craig.

No, I don't want that to be the vibe. You've asked me to come up with my top five bands. I asked you that because it's a thing that happens on the podcast. And if I'd have asked you on the spot, you would have been. more annoyed. What I'm not going to do is go, well, did you hear the seven inch? If you haven't got the seven it, I'm not going to be that guy. I fucking hate that guy. That's deliberately why some of the t-shirts for the podcast are bands that I know everyone, they're like influenced by bands that I know everyone wants to pretend that they like,

but they don't actually like so they don't buy the t-shirt. The braver ones buy the t-shirt and then people go, ah, death. Oh, so do you like scream bloody go or leprosy more? And then the person goes, ah, ah, so what I did is I'll do a death-style logo, but for a podcast or someone goes, ah, death, like, cool, do you like the, do you like, it's actually a podcast? So it's a podcast, I don't know the band you're talking about, it's a podcast, but they know. It's actually good marketing.

It's all marketing. I'm not going to be that guy. Okay. I'll tell you what, side note, before we. go into the metal thing. There's no, this is a, I'm having a lovely time. I hope you're having a lovely time. Having a lovely time.

Yeah, of course. Good. But side note, a strange amount of synchronicity. Last night, I was watching Man Down, which I've never watched before. Yep. And there was a man in it. And I went, I'm pretty sure that's the man that's on the podcast tomorrow. Yeah, I did.

Which episode were you watching? Because I've been in it twice playing two. You were Peter, Peter. Peter, so that's the more recent one. That was the one with more lines than I had a giant beard. Yeah. Because I wrote, I wrote on that series, so I wrote on series three and four. Yeah, I noticed that as well.

Yeah. So that I wrote that episode. So that character I had written, and then just at the last minute, Greg Davis, his sitcom, changed the character to have a very high voice and a big beard, just to fuck me over. That's funny. Yeah. But it made the character. Character better, I think.

It was fucking ridiculous that show. Oh yeah, it was really funny, but what are the fucking odds? That was the first time I watched it was last night. And I went, I didn't want to be like the guy that in front of my girlfriend was like doing a podcast like this tomorrow. But I, I MDB doing it. And I was like, that's how fucking strange? Did she say, did you mean Greg Davis? He's really famous.

No, the guy in the beard with four lines. I mean, yeah, that is what happened. No. How did that come about? Did you get asked to do it? Yeah, so I've known Greg for years Ever since I started doing comedy really And I ended up supporting him on tour So I supported him on two national tours And then we just mate

So when he was putting together the show And he wanted some other writers on it He had me and a guy called Steve Morrison Another guy called Mike Wozniak Had us on to write And we just spent a few months sort of round at his flat Writing it coming up with ideas pitching ideas, writing scripts.

It was fun. It was really funny, and he is really funny. Yeah, he's one of the best. I'll tell you what, I will throw you, I'm going to throw you under the bus here. Go on. Because I gave you the heads up. What's your top five comedians?

Oh, top five comedians. Greg's probably in there, actually. No, it's interesting, because it's sort of a similar question in that my... Are you panicking now? No, I'm not panicking. But the front of my brain goes to, I think comedians will try,

and give like slightly more obscure comedians or American. They're always like Tommy, Tommy Cooper. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Tommy Cooper, yeah. Come a seat on Tommy Cooper. Cool American comedians. Whereas I'd imagine like it's the same if you ask musicians, their favorite bands, they're desperately trying to search for the most obscure fucking.

Oh, yeah. It's one. I mean, I love like Nile, but also Elvis. So, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. But Greg, Greg Davis is probably. there is one of one of my favorite comedians patten oswald as well uh is absolutely incredible um i watch i do watch less and less stand-up the more the more i got into doing stand-up the less of it i watched um i i can say this because i don't have a career in stand-up but you know i i fucking hate

about stand-up right now and i i can say this apropos of nothing um is the fucking the like shocking people but with just quite hateful stuff which is just guaranteed to get a rise from one side just like well I know that 50% of America is going to enjoy me

if I take the piss out of a man what I think is a man in a dress do you know what that kind of thing that's going around right now it's a real thing at the moment yeah there's a lot there's a lot of that sort of thing Whereas all the people that those acts love are really good. So all of the sort of the original guys who are doing sort of shocking material, they've copied them but forgotten to include all of the good writing

and the thought that goes into it. The satirical aspect of it. Yeah. Like this is a character I'm making you see the bigger picture. So people like, someone like Doug Stanhope, who I absolutely love, who would be considered. a shock comic, you're missing the point if you...

Absolutely. Because the only... The joke is on him all of the time because he's a fucking mess. And he's thought everything through. And he might be doing it to get a rise out of people, but he has thought through the logic. And if it sort of loops back on him more often than not. Same with Bill Burr.

I think people just get the wrong thing from them. They hear the sort of front line shocking thing. And they're like, oh, I can do that. We'll go make a pedo joke. It's just pathetic. Yeah. The Bill Burr, there's always subtle things before and after the joke, which makes you go, well, I know what this guy really thinks about this.

And then the joke's in there and it's like, okay, I get it. Yeah, and also, a lot of the ones, it's, yeah, it's like a thought exercise with Bill Burr. He'll pick something shocking and then try to argue his way around to that, even though he doesn't believe it in as funnier way as possible. Also a drummer, and he is on my hit list, and I'm just waiting. He's a drummer, and we were at the same. same Meshugger show in L.A. Yeah, that was a weird moment where he started tweeting about Meshugger.

I was there. Yeah. Oh, amazing. He's like, he's a drummer. He went to that show with, I believe it was Danny Carey from Tull and Dave Eilich, which, who was from the Mars Vowter. And it was just those two just bowling around watching Meshugger. And he'd never even heard Mishugher before.

And he was like fucking freaking out. Yeah. Yeah. Wish I was there. he's on my hit list. Anyway, you give me fucking three comedians. Give me two more.

I don't really care about this bit. Your face there, I felt bad. We don't want to fuck it off. It's just not written in the script. A lot of my favourite comedians are also my friends, which is annoying, but is also quite good for my career because it really makes me work harder.

When your friends are really talented and work really hard, then you're like, oh God, I guess I better as well than I want to keep hanging out. with them. Exactly the same in music. Exactly the same. Oh, your new album's really good. Fuck, sake. I mean, I have to try. So like James A. Castor and Nish Kumar, who are two of my best mates, also two of my favourite comedians, and I will watch anything that they do. But yeah, also I feel like I need to keep working to try and keep up with them in some sense. Also,

financially, I want to keep having dinners with them and stuff, so I've got to keep doing the level of work they are. Nice. Okay, metal. Metal time. It's time to fucking mentally. But the thing is, what I've learned is no one, you know, it's quite a successful podcast. You've got between 20 and 40,000 monthly listeners, individual people, and what I've learned, no one gives a fuck about anything. They just want to hear a chat. So don't think that you have to be like, you have to know the fucking bassist's fucking, oh, the bassist's actually lost his finger in a skiing accident before they made that EP. no one cares

do you know what the bit in this podcast where we made the analogy between writing stand up and writing music now everything else is just free the raw dog bit yeah this is

this is the sheath is off what is your top five bands of all time do you need them in order slowly if you can give me it I don't know if I can give you it in order but

do you have a number one yeah clutch Clutch. Yeah, it always surprises people, but also I bang on about them a lot. They're the best fucking band in the world, and every other band that I love, I understand why they're not like pop star big.

Clutch, I think everyone should love, and I don't understand why they're not the biggest band in the world. I mean, I don't not love them. Drummer, I think John Paul Gaster, I think his name is, a fucking unbelievable. unbelievable groove. The band is really groovy. They're not so scary

that they couldn't be incredibly massive. But you're right. They're very understated. They just, they sort of shuffle on. And if it's the first time you're seeing them, you think the roadies are on

doing the sound check and the band haven't arrived. Oh, they're big roadie energy from every single one of them. Yeah, because they've got, you know, they wear like combat trousers and they've got their keys on carabinas.

they look like they are not wearing masks right now and they may be protesting their right to not wear masks but they're not they're not those guys you know they're not those guys they look like they could be those guys but they look yeah they look very much like they're are bumper stickers on their truck suggesting not to speak to them sure yeah yeah I think what I mean by the way I was I'm totally ashamed of this. I've tried to come up with my top five bands. They're all American and they're all men.

And I think that's shameful. And look, I fucking love British music and I love a lot of new British metal as well. But what I've gone for in my top five is sort of more of a legacy and consistency. I feel like you're in the genre of mostly American men anyway. So in terms of a percentage, I feel like you're fine. All right. Okay. But I'm now intrigued. Is number two going to be...

I'm not going to go. Elvis after everything I said. Okay, right. What's your number one clutch album? You know what? I'm going to go listen to it because I've never listened to one the whole way through. Oh, blast tyrant.

Easy. How old is this album? 2005, I think. Nice. Or maybe it's later than that. But all the later clutch stuff I really like. So I like the early stuff, the more hardcorey stuff, but it's the later more bluesy,

sort of funky stuff that I'm into. I'm really taken back by this. Oh, do you know what I once saw? I think that the first time I knew that you liked metal, I can't remember where it was. I think it might have been Karen. It was like Ed Gamble's top 10 albums of the year or something like that.

And I was like, okay, well, that's the guy from the TV. I'll have a look at this. and then it had Cult of Lunar on it. Oh yeah, with the Julie Christmas album. Mate, that album is fucking... Cult of Luna, I reckon if I've got a top five bands, cult of Lunar is six or seven. Like, they're so nearly in the top five.

I don't think I have listened to a lot... I have listened to it, but I've not sort of delved into the rest of their back catalogs as much as I should have done, but the Mariner album is just perfect. Like, that is stunning. Unbelievable. See, she could have been in there.

Yeah, sorry, Julie. In your male-dominated American. Ed Gamble supports only US male music. Anyway, sorry, give me another band. Well, we've talked about Slipknot, but Slipknot are a band. I never stopped listening to since they came out with that first album. You're listening to the downbeat podcast on Notts.com. I was contacted in advance and told I had to say this.

right so what's your favourite snip i've got to be careful now because i can't really can't really shit talk slip not which not that way you can't you wouldn't want to shit talk slip not but we can we can talk about our favorites right that's not shit talking yeah yeah yeah yeah let's go um the first album means the most to me because that was when i was just getting into music and i was so obsessed with it i found the mini disc of that that i'd i'd ripped it onto minidisc at my mum's house and I'd written I'd written slip not slip not album of 99 oh yeah oh wait side note what an excellent format that just didn't take off yeah mini disc well they're perfect text text in theatres still like minidisc because there's no uh so they'll still use minidisc

in in theaters uh because there's there's something to do with no gap when you skip a track so when you go on to a track there's with CDs and and MP3s and everything there's a little gap and then it starts but with mini disc there's no lag it just plays straight away so for sound cues apparently they're perfect interesting is it ancient big swing on the word interesting there

okay so the first one means the most yeah but it isn't your favorite It's sentimentally it's my favourite Musically Iowa is my favourite It's the same for me Exactly the same I feel like I want to say self-title is my favourite But Iowa gets the most listens

And third favourite was the one from last year Is it? I think it's amazing I've not put that down since it came out I think it's incredible I mean it is It is very good But that's shocked me

And I guess That's probably what, I mean, Slipknot would be happy with that, wouldn't they? If everyone on earth was like, well, the first two are my favourites, and then, because, you know, they're the fucking best. And then my third favourite is actually a newest one. I would be, if I was the artist, I'd be like, that's actually exactly what I was going for.

I was going for, I made bangers when I came out, and now I have continued to make bangers, and the rest of it was fine. It is impressive, though, if you're that successful, and you're still making a really good album. You don't need to, do you? You just need to sort of get two really good tracks to whack into the live set.

But to do a whole album of them, I thought was really impressive. Love them. I think Neo Forte, Nero Forte. Yes, Nero Forte, yeah. Very heavy song, wasn't it? Yeah. Very heavy song.

Well, well done. Employers. Employers, well. How many times do you reckon you've seen Slipknot? Hang on, how old? Not the many. How old are I? Yeah, that's two separate questions again.

I'm 34. So we are the same, I'm 33, so. I don't think I've seen that many, that many times because I got into metal and then I've obviously always been into metal, but then when I started comedy, I basically had to stop going to gigs because I was trying to work every night. and when I was at uni no one else liked the same music as I did I would have to convince mates

to come to gigs with me and I wouldn't really go by myself so I can want no grebo's at your no griebo's at your uni certainly not that I was hanging out with just greb greg gamble so I think I convinced two mates

to come to see Dragon Force with me and then they refused to come to see anything else with me after that's fucking understandable Jesus Christ come up see the music from Game Boys sped up on guitars. Look, I, we're yet to talk

about my two years in the wilderness of power metal, but they happened. I mean, I am half kidding. You're fucking, the guy from Herman Lee from Dragon Force absolutely clears up on Twitch right now. Yeah, I bet he does.

The amount, like I even saw it yesterday, he's doing like something prompt to fucking shredding, 3,000 fucking fucking viewers, I can only imagine how many subscribers that he has. That is sailing through the pandemic. Oh, lockdown, it doesn't matter. I made fucking 10 grand from just playing the guitar. Really good, like a fucking Game Boy, almost unlistenably fast.

I will go back to that first Dragon Force album now and again. That's the less Game Boy stuff. That's the Fire and the Flames song. Is that on that one? No, I think that's the second one. That's Game Boy. to me that's game boy that's getting that's getting game boy i'm not saying they're a bad band i'm saying they're not in my top five look i enjoy i enjoy i think i would have an audio

some sort of like seizure from just amount of notes happening anyway we talked about dragon force we've established they're not one of your favorite bands did you have the slipnot vhs did you buy that remember the fucking welcome to our neighborhood vhs yeah i had that yeah i had i had all that stuff yeah did you buy the album based on what they look like because I fucking did and I'm not afraid to say it I was in a shop

sound machine reading shout out sound machine reading and I went wow that is a clown and the other man has spikes I've got to buy it I think I read a review

but also I was probably totally taken in by the masks and the jumpsuit I definitely didn't try and get a boiler suit after that album came out as well remember when they changed to white it was like a power. You know what?

It was like the first real thing after Power Rangers, like you were too old for Power Rangers. When Power Rangers introduced the Green Ranger and it was like, whoa, fuck. Then you had nothing like that in your life from about 8 to 13. And then Slipknot changing suit color, I got a bit of whatever dopamine,

the Green Ranger dopamine release. Hang on, that's the same but different. What? That's exactly the same, but it's slightly different. That was big for me. Now, I was just, so I was just thinking of bands that are consistent and always release bangers. You don't have to do. No, this is what I was trying to define what my favourite bands do or, you know, so high on fire are the next one. You love a riff.

Rift Monster Gamble. That sums up what I love. like, though, is just fucking riffs. High on fire! Yeah. Fucking... What's your favourite? Snakes?

Snakes to the divine? No, I think it's... Again, I don't know if it's a controversial choice. I can't even say the album title, the De Vermis Mysteries. What? How old is that? I'm not massively... You're making me look bad.

Let me have a look. I just know those first two. It's... I haven't even unwrapped it. That's how much is my favorite High on Fire album. That cover. Ooh, it's a delightful artwork. Yeah, it's a tattoo artist called Tim Leahy did the artwork.

I sort of fell off from Iron Fire. I bought the first two based on Matt Pike just being riff legend. And then I don't know what happened. I just fell off. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I mean, there's no bad High on Fire albums. They're all really good. You are like, like, there's, there's, you know, oh, there's a rumor Bill Bailey likes O'Peth.

But then there's Ed Gamble loves high on fire. That's like, you are legit. You have. Well, there's only one other comedian who has the same taste of music as me. Do you know Rob Delaney? I think I saw him wearing a Wolves in the throne. t-shirt at a like a maybe a night of the Apollo

opening for someone or something and I was like that guy has a wolves in the throne room at this point they were obscure black metal yeah he fucking loves riffs as well so he's a I've seen him at a high and fire show and yeah he loves I mean I'm just trying to work out who the next band would be I

I've never stopped listening to Raid Against Machine so and it all it all always sounds fresh every time I listen to it. So they've got to be in there. It's unbelievable how much that first album stands up. Yeah. I mean, our band, we get it all the time

because it's all of our biggest influencer. Hey, your band sounds out where you get into a machine. Well, they're fucking good, right? We're not stealing it. We're just heavily influenced. It's because our guitarist makes the fucking mad noises, so everyone goes. Right.

Excuse me. Guitars are either supposed to sound like Game Boy noise, like Dragon Force, or they're supposed to sound like riffs like Iron Fire. You can't do that middle thing or else you're rage against the machine. But yeah, I think they've got to be in there, really. It feels like a boring band to put in there

because they are so good. You know, it doesn't feel like an interesting choice saying Slip, Not enraged against the machine, but they're both really good. I don't think, we could spice it up if you want you want to say one of their albums is shit but it's not so you can't

that's a problem isn't it throwing it in my the only reason I nearly didn't put rage in is because they've I don't think they've released enough albums that's fine no and sometimes that's better yeah it is but then I sort of want them to release another one to prove that they didn't just have loads of flukes I need that consistency

by this point this year they were supposed to have refoes weren't they and supposed to have played many gigs yeah um the the whole did you did you see them as rage uh yeah but uh only do a festival set so i saw them at leeds festival in i guess 2000 i think 19 2009 2000 when they before they broke up yeah literally it was like it was about two gigs before they broke up i think they did leeds reading and then broke up i was lucky enough to see them when they got back together, I think, 2005 or 2006 maybe,

Reading Festival. And then I saw, we played a load of festivals that profits played as well. And as much as it was like nearly Raid Against a Machine, it was, I don't want to put you on the spot here.

If anyone's listening who's ever done the party drug, Bath Salts, it's almost like nearly getting there on a real drug. And you quite nearly get there, but not quite there and that's what profits of rage is. So I've heard.

So I've heard. Someone I know told me that. You need Zach, right? Yeah, exactly. And there was just sections where I was like, this is sick, but if Zach was here, I wouldn't be here. I would be fucking upside down in the middle of the pit.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I absolutely love them. I hope they come back and do all the festivals they were supposed to. Do an album. Do a fucking album. There's no way. You could put, you could put Zach over a Zanusi washing machine

and it would sound fucking fantastic. I would be, I would be fucking moshing. Because I nearly said, I nearly said system of a down as well in this because they mean a huge amount to me and they, with Slipknot were one of the bands

that I properly got into when I started really enjoying music. But then, then they've kind of, they've not released music for ages apart, but then they were, released two songs this year and those are really good so now i want an album yeah my thing was i think when i was a kid system of a down really really got me like into and rage against machine

got me into the political side of music and using music as a protest device yeah and it really influenced me and the first album and toxicity i was like unbelievable and then now i'm a little bit like the drummer came out with that fucking anti-BLM stuff and I was like well pro-Trump I mean who would have thought a member of system of a down being pro Trump like could you have just not said that that's what they should have just fucking had a little band meeting and he'd be like guys I believe by the way I think this is happening this top five bands would have been a lot easier but system of the down probably edged out because of those comments as well.

But then also, I could have easily, like five years ago, if you'd ask me, Pantera and Down would have been in there. But I feel bad about doing that now. Oh, yeah, completely fucking, and you know what? Fucking just dead to me. Just the minute it happened,

I just went, nope, that is a childhood band just removed from my, and I just can't enjoy it now. And it annoys the fuck out of me because I love Pantera but then I just see what he did and I think there's absolutely no excuse.

Yeah, no, there isn't. And when he did, yeah, when he did that, and everyone went, oh, fuck, now we have to acknowledge it because it's not like there weren't clues before,

but everyone gave him so many passes and gave Pantera so many. The flags, the fucking flags, we were all like, well,

maybe they don't know what it means. But then he did that and we were like, oh, no, we got, to admit this. He did that in the fucking the 2010s.

Like, I mean, obviously you wouldn't get a pass of an ever, but like if it was maybe in the height of the punk movement, like a shock punk move in the 70s, maybe, maybe you would get some kind of a pass. Yeah. But absolutely not on. And like to have like, obviously the thing about it being a job, or whatever.

Like, A, not funny. I'm speaking to a comedian right now with both scripts off a fucking, mate. Not a funny joke. Not a funny joke, but also, like, that shit has to be in your behind-the-scenes vocabulary

for it to fucking just manifest when you're a bit drunk. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And also, the fact he said it was a joke about, because everyone was drinking white wine, and then Rob Flynn immediately dropped him in the shit and went, no, we weren't. That wasn't a thing.

The fucking mental gymnastics to be like, right, how... Okay. The white, we were... We were... There was a power button. No, that's not going to. Wine. It was the fucking wine.

It must be in the wine. Yeah, so they're sadly not in there, but that would have been an easy choice for both of them because, you know, their music was incredible. Fifth band, really hard. And sort of a toss-up between... More riffs. Do you want some more riffs coming your way?

I just want whatever is the answer. I don't want... I struggle to come up with it, Craig. Baroness Torch or Mastodon. I haven't decided. Oh, please, can we pick Mastod? Because I can talk to you more about it because the other two, I'm okay with them.

Torch, actually, one of the most boring bands I've ever seen live. You are mad. They are fucking great live. And only one with two drummers? No, that's Kylieza. Okay, yeah, so I am talking about Torch. I saw Kylaza and Torch on the same tour. Yeah.

And I was just... Sorry, Jealous. And it was actually Mastodon, Kailisa Torch. Amazing. Or was it, it was ISIS, not the militant militia group. Yeah. The band Isis. Kailisa Torch.

Anyway, and I was just underwhelmed. No, I fucking love them live. Because I... I can't believe the riff monster. I love that they just... smash it out and they're so loud live as well. Wait, I'm not being funny and I'm not putting these bands down or anything but you say you're not very musical,

fucking get a guitar, pop it in drop D, stick a bar, you can make these fucking riffs. It's me just completely fucking disregard entire bands. You could fucking do that. But the sort of riffs that you like come from the mind. They don't come from the prowess so much. Sure, sure. I like, yeah, sort of more just slamming riffs rather than noodling. Mastodon, let's do Mastodon then.

All right, Mastodon. Easy. Okay, so now we're going to go, this is like a sub-level. This is what I like to do the top fives with, because then if there's a band that we both really like, I mean, obviously I really like the other bands, but we can, like, zone in on a few things. What's your favourite Mastodon album? Hard, in it. Can you give me an order to the Mastodon albums? No.

I think you can't do that. Flat out. No, you can't do that. We're nearing the end now. I can tell you the ones that I like less, but that seems like a negative way of doing it. Yeah, that's really not a great way of doing it. Yeah.

In fact, there's only one I don't. Tell me the way you like the most. There's work out from there. The thing is, I mean, it sounds like such a basic bitch, but no. Okay, no, I'm not going to say that one. I'll say it Blood Mountain. Again. This is, this is, I'm going to start calling you Crucial Ed Gamble because you are just,

you're the kid with the backpatches that I don't want to talk to because I'm scared he'll, he'll be too cool for me. Blood Mountain's definitely up there, I think. But then the hunter, like I'll go back to the Hunter a lot, but it is, the Hunter is just like the more basic, like fucking slamming metal tracks, right? My problem with the Hunter, the Hunter is probably, I love Mass. I love every Mastodon album. The Hunter is definitely last for me.

Oh, really? And it is, yeah, and it's only because there are massive riffs on it, but I got into Mastodon on Leviathan. Yeah. And I loved the whole, this is a fucking concept album, the whole Moby Dick shit, and then obviously every other album is a concept album. And then the Hunter came out really quick after Crack the Sky.

Crack the Sky is one of my. favorite albums of all time. Yeah. It's definitely in my top five albums of all time. And then the Hunter came out really quickly afterwards. And I remember thinking, that was really quick to come up with an interesting concept and all the riffs and whatever. And then there was a DVD that came with the Hunter and the DVD was five minutes long.

And you put it on and there was a couple of interviews and they basically just said, we weren't going to do another album and then we signed a Roadrunner. and when you sign to a label, then they give you the money once you give them the album. That was the undercurrent of what the DVD was. But I still really like the album, though. So what does that say about me?

The songs are amazing. The thing is, it says more about them being able to just fucking make bangers on demand. Like Curl of the Bell, the song, The Sparrow, the last tracks, may be one of my favourite master on songs. But I think, I don't know, maybe. maybe I don't care as much about it now.

But I think at the time I was like, that's not my Mastodon. Yeah. What book have you read to make this album? I think if a band releases one of your favorite albums of all time, then the next one's always going to suffer a bit, right? There is an element of that. I was on the crack sky come down.

Yeah. Fuck. Leviathan's up there as well. I walked on, yeah, Leviathan's definitely up there. I think. I walked on stage to Blood and Thunder at my Edinburgh

show in 2017 so that's got a special place in my heart. See, even I can play that song on guitar yeah. And I don't even play guitar

I just want it because that riff is fucking unbelievable. Yeah. And the little turn around at the end of time. Who does a lovely a lovely guest spot on that?

Neil Salman. Is it fucking is it? Yeah. And I got to see them do that. So this is the best night in my fucking life was

I did warm-up emceeing for the Golden Gods in 2017, I think, and Mastodon and Clutch were on, and I got to introduce them onto the stage and watch from Sider Stage and see Neil Fallon guest on Blood and Thunder live. Wow. Did Bohemoth play that one? No, they were the year before, or the year before that.

I went to one around those times, but I don't remember who was there. No, it was Clutch, Mastodon, orange goblin and avatar. You were just fucking, you were just fucking jacking off. Yeah. Rift fest. All of the Mastodon songs that have Scott Kelly from Neurosis are like my fucking

favourite when he just pops up. You're three quarters of the way through the album and he's like, Ragnan. See, if I was cool, I'd say Neurosis, wouldn't I? that's the sort of band I should have said to seem cool. And you know, and I really could have fucked you because I love neurosis. I do really like neurosis, but I don't know enough about them. It is one of those ones where people pretend.

Yeah. And they're one of those ones that if I wasn't a nice guy, that I would be the person, someone's got a neurosis show, and I'd be like, ah. So you're more into, through silver and blood, or, and then just fucking. Yeah. But I'm not that guy. But I would have loved to have had a neurosis chat.

Do you like ISIS? I do. I do. Ed Gamble supports ISIS. I do like ISIS. Again, I couldn't have an in-depth chat. I've got most of their albums, and I've got a lot of their, you know, there's live albums they did as well. The little ones with the bubble on.

Yeah, I'll stick those on quite a lot. But I couldn't, I couldn't like tell you my favourite album more, especially with bands like that. It all melds together so nice. And I'll put an album on and it runs and runs. So I'm not going, that's my favourite track, skip to that. It's just pieces of work. I was just checking, because if you like Neurosis and Mastodon, and obviously, ISIS is the next logical step.

But if you have previously, you know, delved into Col of Lunar, but maybe not gone deeper, I really recommend the latest one. Fucking unbelievable. Was it this year? Last year. Last year. I'll check it out. In fact, everything they fucking do.

The thing that they do that I love the most is they'll introduce a little motif on track one, and then 90 minutes later, that tiny bit from track one comes back as a massive riff at the end of the album. And it's just like, I feel like I'm in fucking space. Anyway, that's five bands, isn't it? Yeah, done it.

Done it. You've done it. You plugged your podcast. Yeah, I've done all that. I've got a meeting in four minutes. We'll be done, right? Yeah, I'm just about to end it now. Could you not get that vibe from that?

By the way, it's suddenly going to turn around and be like, so, the alphabet, let's go through. Right, you've got four minutes. This has been fucking lovely. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Send me your fucking file. And if you want...

Will you include that bit on the edit? Would you include that on the edit? Send me the fucking file? Oh, apps are fucking looted. That would be there. It'll be other shit. If you want some merch, right, we do this nice, it's just,

clonice that you could wear to the club. Yeah. But little embroidered pentagram. Love it. I'll do you, there's a bunch of it just dropped today. I will email you a little code, and you can just put it on the website, and you just get it for free.

Thanks very much. The payment. You don't have to have it, but it looks like it might be up your street. There's other colours. Yeah, it's a nice color. It's nice. sort of salmon. But there's others.

Right. Thank you. Enjoy your meeting. I hope it's not a fucking... I hope it's not TSD. This has been wicked, mate. Thank you so much. Cheers, man. Bye.