The Downbeat - Quarantina Turner (Me Q+A #4)

Episode Date: May 9, 2020

It's me. It's a Q+A. Same old.

I'm going to do a bit before the actual Q&A. I'll do this bit so it sounds like, so it feels like, and sounds like, an actual episode when really it's me just fucking rambling. Thanks to everyone who picked up some merch, www. www.the-downb-e.org. Don't know if anything's left. Thanks to anyone you click the little button that says donate

and gave me a little bit of beer money. And in these days, beer money is actually really food money because there's no fucking gigs. I don't know if you know, but the Hornets are getting us all. It's me on the Downbeat podcast. Here we go. It's a Q&A episode.

And you know what, guys? I cannot be asked to do this. But I am just sat here doing nothing. And I was like, go on and I'll do it. I'll do the thing. Maybe the thing will make me feel a bit better. I'm trying to do, I'm trying to do some content

that is corona free. I'm thinking about just sort of changing the word corona to murder hornet and just trying to bring that into existence to try and make myself feel better. Like, oh man, doesn't it suck that no one can play any gigs because of these hornets? Because they might get in the vent of the gig and then sting everyone. And that's why none of us are gigging. and notoriously hornets love being on cruise ships or you can eat buffets like just stay indoors guys because those hornets going to get you

they're going to they're going to sting you up but what we got to remember guys to most people most people who get stung by one of these hornets young healthy people it's just going to be the hornet will just be sort of like mild bee okay that was a that was a a joke based on the current situation. Are you got to make jokes, guys? Can you tell? I'm doing great. I'm not actually doing that bad,

but fucking hell, I'm so bored. I'm so bored. I haven't podcasted in so long because I just can't be bothered with talking about this shit. There's only so many conversations you can have. Hey, how's it going?

Yeah, pretty bad. Oh, uh, uh, gigs all, still cancelled? Yeah. You? Yeah. When do you think it's going to end? Don't know. Cool. That's literally it. And I just can't cope. There's the two types of quarantine content. You got you got girls on Only fans saying, what would we do in quarantine together? They've been barking up that tree for about seven weeks. You got everyone on their dog starting a podcast to talk about

Corona. I'm just wondering, where do I fit in with all this? You know? That's not to diss anyone with an only fans. Your boy loves an only fans. And that's not to dis anyone starting a podcast. You've got to do what you've got to do. But I'm just getting sick of seeing the same content because no one can fucking do anything. No one's got every single bit of content out there now is exactly the same. Yeah, I've just got into exercising. You should too. I've been exercising, right? And actually, right now, I can't exercise. I ain't got a gym to go to.

I'm doing body weight shit. Speaking of gyms, I've got to do a little fucking, this is, if I sound a little bit down in the dumps, D-I-T-D, this episode was supposed to be with a friend of mine called Luke Sando, who was a professional bodybuilder, top 20 in the world, maybe even top 10, He was at Minister Olympia last year,

which is the World Cup of Bodybuilding. And he's like a huge stray fan. We got talking a couple of years ago because of how much you like the band. And he was my go-to guy for, you know, like, why am I so fucking skinny, Luke? Tell me what to do. He'd always have good advice.

We'd talk about metal and stuff. And part of my sort of anti-corona, working out my content vibe, was going to be, I was going to interview a load of people that have nothing to do with music because talking about music depresses me a little bit at the moment

with the uncertainty. So I was going to talk to Luke and last we spoke was Saturday and he said I'm busy until Tuesday so sometime after that and if I'm completely honest with you I didn't ring him on Wednesday

because I was feeling a little bit not like myself didn't really want a podcast so I didn't really want a podcast so I didn't really ring him and I was going to ring him on Thursday and by the time I went to ring him I found out that from the looks of things he made the choice to leave us. I can't confirm that that is what happened but from what I can see from other people that knew him a bit better than me I think that might

have been what happened and been struggling in a little bit. I don't want to get too dark on this. been struggling a little bit with wondering, could I have done anything if I'd have fucking phoned him on Wednesday? I know you can't think like that, but, you know, I hate the checking on your friend's stuff, but fuck me, yeah, just do it. Just do it. I had no idea he was struggling, literally no idea.

Yeah, this is a bit dark, but it's there. It's mixed about it. RIP, Luke, you're a fucking legend. Let's get a little bit funnier. Let me try and be funny. Let's do some Q&A shit. I can't be bothered, guys, but let's do it. It might get some funny stuff.

I'm not even going to edit this. This is just going up like a train of thought. I'm going straight in. I'm going into the photo where I look like a complete dickhead, which is where I asked for Q&A questions. We're going straight in. This is what, hey, all of the questions are like. Oh, are you going to?

What's the first thing you're going to do? When the quarantine's over, what is the first thing you're going to do? I'll tell you what the fucking first thing I'm going to do is. Probably go see my parents, give him a big fucking hug. Because I don't want to go see him now in case I kill them.

And the other thing is play the fucking goddamn drums. I haven't played the drums in fucking eight weeks now. I'm in Scotland right now, and they've just extended the lockdown by three weeks, which, sure, maybe we have to do. know, I'm not going to bark up that tree. But, I want to play the fucking drums. I've got no way to play the drums.

I've got nothing here. And that is killing me. Last night I had a dream that I was playing the drums. And actually, luckily, it wasn't a dream. You know, when you have those dreams where you're, like, running, and you can't run, you're in slow motion. Or, like, you're beating someone, like, you're beating the bully up in school. And then you go to have a fight, and then you're in slow motion,

and he just kicks your fucking ass. Just me? Just me? Is that only me? But I had a dream last night where I was playing Fortune Teller. I literally just had a dream where I was practicing fortune you teller, and it was so much fun. I kind of woke up like, ooh, I feel like I played the drums.

I feel like I might remember how to play the drums. So number, number one is going to be play the drums. Number one will probably be see my parents. You got her, ain't you? You got her these days. Number two will probably be play some drums. Number three will be go to a fucking bar if I'm allowed to go to a bar. Oh.

Jesus, it'd be so good. I'm just getting teary-eyed thinking about it. Fuck me. I can't wait to maybe one day listen to this when all this is over and be like, that was fucking dark. That was a dark time for everyone. And now we're all good. So I'm trying to not go through the coronary questions,

but that's all anyone can fucking talk about. Corona this. Oh, what's your favorite beer? Straight in with the non-corona content. What is your favorite biscuit? Right. I've got a couple of bones to pick about this. Yes, everyone in America knows that we call cookies.

What you would call cookies, we call biscuits. And what you, we would call like a little roll or something. You call biscuits. So, biscuits for all you, yanks. Are yanks offensive? Nah. Wanks is offensive. I'm talking cookies here.

I'm going with a Bisk off. I fuck with a Bisk off so heavily that it's crazy And then I'm gonna go I hate to be back on the Yank side But I think I might go Oreo Specifically a double stuff Oreo I fucks with a double stuff Oreo In this quarantine I am getting very

Sort of getting a bit of a snack belly From just snacking And not being able to lift those heavy ass weights We've got a question here Follow me from someone It's just a little girl who says follow me all. Well, no, but well done, you're on the podcast. That's not a question either.

It wasn't even a question mark. It wasn't even will you follow me. It was just follow me all. So you haven't read the fucking rules, have you? Now, fuck off. But did you hear the acoustic blackened Metallica did the other day? Yes, I did. And it was one of, if not the worst thing I've ever heard.

Which is a shame because it's my favorite song by my favorite band. fuck me. It was like a weird acoustic thing. I get it, guys. Just... We're all bored, but fuck me. It was like dog shit-flavored ice cream. Yes, I like the concept of ice cream,

but not when it's flavored with dog shit. And also, like, Lars's home rig isn't that sick. Whoever mixed it actually did a good job, but Lars doesn't even have, like, over the ear headphones in. It's got cables hanging off the ceiling, like using a squat or something. And I know you went in a squat, Lars.

I love you. If you're listening, oh God, I love you. Come on, just be my friend, but fuck me. Practice a little bit. I can see you've got to practice room now. We've just established it looks like a crack then. But please use it more. Yours, Craig Reynolds from the Downbeat Podcast.

Are most of your tattoos from flash sheets, or will you go into a session with a particular idea and work with the artists on design with their specific style. That's from Harrison underscore Wild. One of my biggest bug bears. Bug bear, is that a thing? Bug bite? Cross to bed?

No, I don't know. Hate, for someone who's got quite a lot of tattoos, I fucking hate, like, talking about them, or me and Lika were talking about the other day, like the worst things that people say to you, like, in the street about tattoos. One of the big ones, which always actually gets me off guard.

because I don't realize what people are saying, but they'll go like, love the art. And I'll be like, I'm sorry, what? And they're like, love the art. The art, your ink, love it. And I'm like, oh my fucking God.

And she gets a lot on her Instagram, which is like such a beautiful canvas. Fuck me. I'll tell you what, I'm going to answer your question. Never have I got a tattoo from Flash, I don't think. But a lot of traditional stuff

is pretty much could be from Flash. Nine times out of ten, I'll go, oh, this would look fucking sick. And then you message, this is a bit of etiquette for someone that doesn't have tattoos. You find an artist that you like,

and then what you do is you tell them what you want, and then they draw it for you, and then on the day they will show you it. You don't get it in advance. It's just an unwritten thing. And they will make changes on the day, but what you do is research your artist very well that you're pretty much guaranteed to enjoy whatever they come up with.

Put a little bit of trust in there. That's a PSA for anyone who hasn't been tattooed. It's a worst thing in the world. Can I see the drawing, please? It's like three months later. Fuck off. Find the artist you like. Trust them.

what's more faux not faux pahs but annoying shit about tattoos when people are like yeah yeah i mean i really want one but i just think i'll regret it oh don't get me wrong yours are cool though yours are really nice but you know i just it's almost like they're saying you know you yours are cool for you but i am sort of elevated above your level um so fuck off mate Oh, my brother's an artist, so I'm just, you know, I'm just going to get him to design it and then just get someone to tattoo it. Nope, doesn't happen. Will never happen.

Oh, do they hurt? But my friend said he just fell, he fell asleep when he was getting the inside of his lungs tattooed. He just said it was really relaxing and he fell asleep. It's sort of like therapy. Fuck off. Ugh. Is that negative? Am I being negative or funny?

It's very hard, it's a very thin line these days. I'm really struggling with human interaction. If you could resurrect, what would you choose? I have no fucking idea what you mean by that, my friend, so I can't answer it. Would you ever make a Downbeat YouTube channel and have video podcast? Yes. It will happen. It's going to cost a lot of money.

Somebody, a company, may be investing. And it's going to be fucking sick. but we need some fucking gigs to happen before it can really happen. But it is in the pipeline. I just want to make... I thought... I recorded the very first one, the Jay from Tessoract episode.

I did video it, but the quality wasn't as good as I wanted. So... I'm never going to show you it. I'm going to wait. I'm yawning. And most people would edit this. But no, fuck it.

It's quarantine, baby. You're getting a real-life yawn. You're getting an IRL real-time yawn. That's how I yawn. Deal with it. I want the quality to be really good of the videos, so I'm just fucking, I'm waiting, and then it's going to come out. I said to people, I said to people who might be investing.

Basically, I just want it to look like the dark night, but it's me talking shit. Christopher Nolan, but with me gobbing off. That's the main idea there. If you had to play a different instrument instead of drums, what would you play, and what band would you like to play in? I don't want to talk about bands because right now bands don't exist but I'm getting a little bit better at guitar in quarantine I wish that I'd learn it sooner

and piano as well I just wish I knew a little bit more theory instead for my theory is I messaged Josh and I say if I want to play black metal what do I have to do and then he sends me a video of like the shape I need to make and then I try and make that with my fat little drummer hands and it doesn't work because I have tiny little fingers and beef burger palms like some sort of messed up mum's gone to Iceland, Frankenstein's monster.

What was harder to track? They always take the guru or holding cells for the living hell. That's a fucking good question. If anyone doesn't know, they're two fast songs. Stray basically has one fast song per album, even though Tom never wants to do it but eventually me and Will Putney force him to do it

and you know what they always take the guru was far easier to track because I think we wrote it around drums I just programmed some crazy shit that I knew that I liked playing and then we wrote it around that whereas holding cells

was written around a guitar part and it was written on a computer with like, why don't you play the drums like the guy from Converge? And I was like, okay, I can't really do that, but let's go. I do remember that taking me a little bit, quite a long time to track.

And they always take the guru, if people don't know it, that's actually about, it's like a dedication to Tom Searle. More of, not a dedication, it's more of like, there's so many other people in the world that I wish were dead instead of you.

And when I hear that, song, I get pure fucking chills every time because we all helped write the lyrics and obviously it means a lot. But when I was tracking it, I think there's a video somewhere of me tracking it. I was fucking just a big ball of emotions tracking that. Smashed it. I don't want to fucking suck my own dick, but I fucking smashed it. Um, more questions. If you had to guess what your reincarnation would be based on your actions in this life, what would you say? You'd have to lead a pretty mean life to end up as a badger. That's because my hair looks like a badger.

The comment I said was, I look like a badger. Fuck. I don't know. I'm quite a nice guy. I'm fairly sure I'm a nice guy. I haven't done anything malicious. I don't think ever. So I'm going to come back as a fucking lion,

whatever the top of the fucking food chain is, because I am a fucking saint. I guess that's just another human though we're top of the food chain, aren't me? I'll just come back as... I don't know, I'd like to be... I think I'd like to be a dog because they don't have to fucking do anything, do they?

And they're always so happy. And they just go, oh, a far treat, good. Oh, you're back home. Oh, good. Oh, you've actually shouted at me, but I'm still wagging my tail. I'll be a dog. There's dead air.

I could be editing this. I'm not. This is raw. I'm serving you raw dog loads right now, straight from the brain to the microphone, to the computer, to the internet. When you're performing, do you prefer to stay awake and focused on your playing, or do you get lost in the moment and energy on stage? And if somewhere in the middle, how do you balance those energies? Oh, I struggled with getting in the moment for the longest time I would overanalyze things. and then

and I would like worry about the bits there's another yawn X-rated yawning I would worry about the stuff that's coming up next in the song like oh fuck there's a harbit coming up and I'd worry about it

and that would make it worse and I think I watched a Benny Greb video always sucking that man off but there's a Benny Greb video where he says just don't think about it just put it out of your mind the minute it comes up and just concentrate on the now

and that worked pretty well me um and there's certain bits where i'll get lost in the moment breakdowns but thing is when i get lost in the moment i tend to speed up a little bit if i don't have a click so for the most part i just i don't relax until the end of a show i literally will not relax until a show is finished from At the time I wake up, I stress out about the show until the show is finished. And if it went well, then I have a lovely evening. And then I wake up and I do it all again. That's just how my brain works.

It sucks. I wish I could just sort of relax and chill out a bit about it. And I do, that's me making myself sound more dedicated than I am. I do definitely have a good time in the daytime. But let's rephrase it. If I fucked up the night before, the next day is hell. If I ripped the night before, the next day is chilled out. I'm eating snacks on a lilo, a metaphorical,

inflatable swimming pool in the back of the van. A lot of fucking quarantine questions. Listen, guys, I don't want to hear about the hornets. The hornets are dead to me. How do you write drum parts? Do you prefer to jam them or do you use VSTs? I might have answered this before, but it's actually a combination of the both.

I will program a basic ting, either along to guitars or on its own for Tom to record to. And then in the jam room, I mute those. I only have a program something I can physically play, and then I mute them, and then I jam on it, and I make stuff harder and more interesting. So like the verse from... Fuck, all day and a night.

the verse was programmed really simple and then in the practice room I just fucked it up and made it harder and harder. Then I go back to the VST, re-program the thing that was difficult and then sometimes I'll take a third or a fourth stab at it. It's a bit of a reverse engineering vibe going on there. If you don't know how to program drums, I suggest you learn because it's very good for learning and writing down your parts. More tattoo questions. Favorite tattoo in the story behind it. My favorite tattoo is that avocado on my leg because of the story behind it.

It was from an architect's tour when I used to drum tech for architects. And there was like 17 avocados on the rider, I think. And so what we did was we all got an avocado tattooed on the last air tour. And then for some reason, string from Amity just wasn't even on the tour, just got it for a laugh.

And like 10 times bigger than everyone else's, which was pretty funny. It's not particularly good tattoo, but it has memories. And then my other tattoos, I guess my big wolf on my stomach, which Will Thompson did. Downbeat alumni Will Thompson.

This question is fucking mental. What's the craziest thing you've witnessed in quarantine? What is there to witness? Like as Cat Pepper shit in the bath. I guess that's it. But again, not the most riveting of tails.

is the other thing that recorded and you mentioned on the Will Putney episode ever going to come out? Fuck knows. He's got all his time. He should be fucking doing it. Will Putney, fucking mix that project.

It's done. It's beautiful. It's glorious. This comment's restricted, so I've obviously banned this person for being a dickhead. Oh, and the question sucks as well, so nope.

Do you have any plans to publish more transcriptions? love to learn the sticking slash pattern from only death is real. You know what, motherfucker, I transcribed that the other day. You can have it. I'll tell you what, go to the downbeat website, www. www.the-down-bede. And do a little donate. You can donate anything.

Donate 10 fucking P, right? And put in your comments that you want that transcription. And I will send it to you. It's just the first drumbeat. And that's all anyone wants to learn. The rest of it's fucking easy. Honestly, that's all the question. questions that I can be asked to answer because a lot of them are similar shit. A lot of them,

guys, are stuff that I've answered on other Q&As. What are some good tips for getting into session drumming? Fuck me. If you're going to get into it, if you've got a recording set up right now, now is the time. Because people like me, professional musicians that people are desperate to get to play the drums for them are without drums. Mind you, my situation is pretty unique in that I'm nowhere near my actual house. But there's a lot of people that probably want drums right now. My guess would be to just get some good equipment and just start playing for people for free and then start charging.

Do you plan on doing another drum clinic tour? It took years off my fucking life because of the stress, but now I think I'm ready to do it again. I did have some offered and then I sort of bailed because I had too much shit going on but now I'd kill to do a drum clinic right now I'd kill to just fucking touch a drum kit right now just have a little sniff

a little sniff like a die cast rim fucking put my dick on it was like what um that's about it what is the best 90s death metal band then why is it deaf with Gene Hoagland I feel like death although they're like death metal It doesn't come under death metal for me, although symbolic by death with Gene Hogan on the drums

is one of my favorite albums. Will we ever see a drum off between me and Dan from Architects? I will never drum off with anyone, and probably the least I would do is with Dan from Architects because he doesn't even practice when he's off the tour. I mean, now I've said it out loud, I kind of want to do it. We're going to end on a John Allman class. here. This has been quick. It's just a speedy one. Get me back in the swing of things. Maybe if you

guys answer some fucking questions that are good. Sorry. Maybe I'll do more of these. It has made me feel a bit better. I was sort of in a bit of a darkness cloud, but now I feel all right. Would you fuck a classic, iconic grey-style alien? From Jonathan Norman, all his questions are always about fucking things. I don't think I would. No. They're not a attractive to me. The big beady eyes and that. Look like tequila tequila. Yeah, not for me, TBH. I don't know why, why would you? Nah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know there are some people that have a fetish for it. They're on that documentary. Can't remember what it's

called, but there's that guy that claims to have impregnated alien women. Let's end on me saying impregnate alien women. There might be merch, depending on when you're listening to this, www.the-downb-e.80. If you're desperate to sell to buy something, but there's nothing there, then just there's a little donate button, give me some money,

and I will probably use it to buy beer, perhaps food, during these trying times. Thank you, and good night.