The Downbeat - Rory Rodriguez (Dayseeker)

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

My guest on the podcast this week is Rory Rodriguez, vocalist of Dayseeker. We talk about the band's rise and their new acoustic EP 'Replica' as well as getting deep about the death of his father and his experience going to see a medium. We also we talk about why so many people are passing out at shows these days, and much more.

Good morning, good evening. That sounds an Australian, didn't it? Whatever time it is, hello, welcome back to another episode. My guest on the podcast this week is Rory Rodriguez. What a name. The singer, songwriter of the band Dayseeker. We talk about their stratospheric rise to success, which has actually been slower than I thought. I thought it was an overnight thing. They'd been going for a hot minute. We talk about, it's quite depressing. We talk about death quite a lot. He recently lost his father. But we also talk about life. He's recently had a kid. It was a great episode. I didn't know him before this. We really got in deep about a load of stuff. Lovely chat, lovely guy. Before we get started, we have a Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash the downbeat on it.

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dot display.com forward slash the downbeat. That's www. www.disclate.com forward slash the downbeat. Check it out. Make your walls look better than they already look, which is bad. It's Rory Rodriguez of Dayseeker on the Downbeat podcast. Hi. That's my favorite bit. That's great. Yeah. The gray into the clap is nice. My favorite bit though is because we've been talking for 10 minutes. Yeah. And it's just like, No, we're not rolling yet. And then I clap. And then I don't know what it is about me.

I leave like a pause. There's pressure now. Now it's real. Have you got pressure? Is there pressure? No, you just don't want to come off a certain way, you know, on a podcast. Coming straight in on just like, oh, that guy was awkward. Really, I made it fucking awkward.

Do you have a nice little clap, awkward pause and giggle with most people? Absolutely. Absolutely everyone. Especially if something's happened before that can't make the episode. if it's like a NDA-style conversation or they've got something coming out that we can't talk about, then I'll clap and leave the pause really long

because then it seems like they're about to say something about what we can't talk about. I don't know why I do it. It's really bad. Rory Rodriguez. Yeah. What a fucking cool name. Do you think so?

Fuck, yeah. I think the first name is cool. I don't, the last one seems kind of... They put them together, though. That alliteration. It's just a lot of ours. That's really... I was going to ask you if it was like a stage name.

That's how good. cool it is. No, my name is, it's kind of interesting because my, I mean, not to get super dark, but my dad had a younger brother who was actually murdered when he was 23. My grandma, my dad's mom just was like, oh, if you ever have a son, maybe you should name him after your younger brother in his memory. So I was like, it's weird. I've gone to my uncle's grave site and it says my name on a tombstone, but it's, it's a different middle name, but it's still just weird looking at And it says like Rory, my middle name is Spencer, but it's like Rory L. Rodriguez. Just looking at the grace time.

Yeah. But I mean, he died like, I think like 15 years before I was born. So it's weird because we haven't, we haven't, didn't meet obviously. But you say murdered? Yeah, yeah, pretty. Holy shit. You came in real dark. I know, I know.

I know. I don't want to get too dark, but murder. My stories are not this cool usually. But I mean, not that murder is cool. But he, yeah, he just had this buddy. who I guess was kind of just like a bad seed and he dragged my uncle along unknowingly to a robbery and they got caught and then my uncle didn't mean to roll over on him but he was basically just like I didn't know what was happening and then uh so his buddy went to jail he didn't and I guess

his buddy kind of built up a lot of anger that he didn't cover for him so he got out and then um he I guess like lured my uncle back into a friendship and then got him very drunk at a party one night, waited for everybody to leave, and then like shot my uncle in the head while he was asleep. So, uh, yeah,

obviously just a horrible guy. Um, so super sad. Yeah, because I think my uncle, I think my uncle was only like 23 when he died. And I'm like, I think it's a trip too when you live past

the age of people who have died. How old are you now? It just turned 35 like a week ago or something. Yeah, I'm 37. And now I get the same thing. Have you had a midlife crisis yet? Is it happen?

Has it happened? Is it upcoming? It might be upcoming. My 30s honestly have been awesome so far. Sick, good for you. Yeah. I think I'm having my second midlife crisis as we speak. And like I get the same thing.

Like I was listening to Jeff Buckley the other day and it was like I died. I can't even remember what age he died out. I think it was like 30 maybe. And I was just like, oh, I'm outliving all of these like legends. And part of me is like, am I next? And the other part is my. is my should I've gone earlier? No, you're just better than all those people.

That's what's happening. No. How are you enjoying Scotland? How long have you been here? Three days, actually. You've been here for three days already? Yeah, yeah. We had a, we had a show in Dublin.

We were meant to play like two days ago. And the ferries were just all getting canceled and delayed because of inclement weather. And so we waited, like, we kept trying. We kept checking like ferries, like any ferry we could cancel. and they would like, it would be like delayed and then canceled them and look at the next one, two hours later, delayed and then canceled. So it sucks because it was just literally, yeah, quite literally just a physical impossibility to get over there.

And man, I couldn't believe, not so much for us, but, and I'm not like, I'm not talking shit on. Can you curse on here? Yes. I think how far in are we, Simon? Cut this as well. Not long enough to say the C word. You can't say the C word.

But Americans don't say the C word anyway. Oh. No, you said it. Okay. Keep that in, keep that in, but like, bleep it out, please. Yeah, you can curse. My natural inclination sometimes is, like, to just throw an F bomb in there. Yeah, no, that's absolutely fine.

And I really start over thinking, like, oh, I'm on a podcast. Maybe I shouldn't. No, I say fucking insane shit. You're good. Okay. Awesome. Yeah, I'm not talking shit on their fans because Pierce's fans are awesome, but I just, I couldn't believe how many fans were upset at Pierce.

For the weather. Yeah, kind of. It was, I understand. there's a lot of people who booked flights and vacations and we even had a fan comment. I like flew 3,000 miles to catch your Dublin show and it sucks because I know we're coming back at the end of the year. We haven't announced it yet, but yeah, it was just wild seeing some of these people like, because they said something in their posts of like, we were really excited and really looking

forward to come and then people would call me and be like, if you were so excited, why am I mean, you announced a reschedule with your cancellation and this other one was going off on like this other band had to cancel a show and they're coming back in a week. Why don't you do the same thing? Like it's like, yeah, like us in holding don't have our own plans after. It's just, man, I felt so bad for him. And again, I'm not like, I like Pierce fans, but I just, I couldn't believe like, it's just we can't swim across the ocean with all of our equipment.

We have to take a ferry and the fairies didn't exist. So we had to cancel. I used to, with stuff like that, I used to get so enraged. I would just be like, I'm just quitting music. Like, I don't owe you this explanation of whatever. What I've started doing now, I'm in my old man era. I mean, you're like 25, but yeah. Can't think, very much.

I'm 37. I like, oh, you threw me off guard there with a compliment. I like to like actually educate people with these things. I like, take a deep breath. And then I just go, hey, this is what's happening. This is why the show can't be rescheduled. blah blah blah blah blah and then i find that that sort of snowballs but my instinct when i see stuff like i'm gonna quit fucking music you little entitled little fuck you think what about me i can't

play the show we're not making any fucking money i get really annoyed and i'm like actually they just don't know i know it is i think well as a musician though you think about like um yeah like we had this band uh polaris uh they they uh awesome band good people they're just kind of going through a thing right now so oh i know we yeah we were meant to be on a tour together in a couple weeks and they they had to drop off kind of last minute we had to announce that and yeah just people like same thing in the comments just like because they were just like oh like personal issues at that point most people understand like i'll respect privacy everything's good you had a band member die really recently and you continued to tour yeah god bless him i think just i think they just

stacked their ear and maybe it was just too much at once but uh yeah just saw people in the comments going like what do you mean like explain more why are you drop man And it's just like you're not entitled to that information. And also it's just you're completely missing out on the fact of like how much money is being lost. Just how it's like there's so many more negative. No one wants to cancel at all. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I was kind of speaking to your point.

I understand when you're talking to somebody online and they're kind of going off on a tantrum and you're like, you have no idea what you're even talking about. You have literally zero idea. It makes me think about sleep token though. and I'm just like, oh, imagine the bliss of just having a mask. All right, boys, you've got to cancel something. Cool. I'm going to the fucking shops. No one knows who I am.

Like, you just, you have to cancel something or whatever. All of the, like, blowback is directed at the masks. And, like, no one knows who you fucking are. So it's just like, that is true. It must be freeing. I've thought about the bliss of, like, man, that is cool. Like, or even it's, it's just, we hit a point a few years ago where now it's like, not so much, internationally, but in the US, it's like, I, I can't go into the crowd and just watch the show

anymore. Somebody's like, can I get a picture? And somebody sees, I see a picture and they go, oh, I want one a minute. It just starts like a ripple effect. So I, I, or I have to throw like a hoodie on with a face mask and a cap. Like it's, and I'm like, whoever that guy is can just walk out into the crowd. Just, it's just this tall, lanky dude. Just like, just much it's just telling everyone who he is. But no, I, I get that too. And the, the problem I have with it is too, is too fold like i sometimes don't go to shows for the same reason and honestly it's not australia it's the podcast and it's not that i don't like getting photos with people it's like i love it like who doesn't fucking love someone going hey i know who you are i want a photo with you which is fucking awesome sure

but like i end up worrying oh shit was i rude to that person is everyone looking at me at the at the sound desk am i standing in front of someone and someone's then going to go tweet about and I just like freak out about it so we just don't go like at all. Sometimes I'll go. I'll go if the venue has like a real cool. And this, even saying this out loud sounds like, oh,

he'll only go if there's a backstage. It's just like, no, it's just because I'm fucking so anxious. I know it. Yeah. You know what it is too is I, because it was that saying of something like

a hundred different versions of yourself exists in everybody else's heads. And you, you feel like you have a pretty good grasp on. who you are and it's because you do like you know yourself better than anybody and it's I've tried because we've been touring for like 11 years and I've tried so hard um every time a fan has come up to me to try and seem like engaged and and really and I probably have been more engaged at times and other times I've just been so burnt out and and uh because I used to do merch for us in the in the beginning of our band where I would like hang out for an hour before we played go play like wipe the

sweat off my face run to a table and then sell shirts for four hours and um tried so hard to be nice and then you still like you just read like a youtube comment and and like most of the time everybody's like oh he's nice he's super chill everything's great and then i just i remember like i read a youtube comment a few years ago was like i'm a guy a few years ago and you was a fucking asshole like i just like i don't i've never no fans ever come to me like i really love your band i'm like i don't fucking care like you know like yeah yeah i've never i've never done that and And it's just, it's so weird that like you can just be misinterpreted and then somebody says something online. And then a hundred people read that comment.

And they're like, yeah, I heard that. I heard that guy was an asshole. And then it starts this weird narrative and you're like, you don't know me. You just, you talk to me for five seconds when I haven't slept for like four days. And I just want to go home. And then I'm not. That is the one. I think too.

I don't, I don't know if it's the same with. I mean, well, it's, I mean, Stray is so like politically driven. So I don't know if that's what people want to talk about with you when they meet you or if it really is related more to the podcast. Oh, it's just podcast. Okay. Interesting. Thank God. Like, I literally, I'll write lyrics about political stuff. Oh, do you?

Do you write the lyrics for it? It's like everyone writes them. So we sit there and it's, it's so sick actually. It's sicking, thank you. It's sick and concept. Help sounds great. We're going to get to that. We sit with like, okay, this song sounds like it should.

should be about this. Like we have a list of things that we want to talk about. And then we sit in the studio and we loop the chorus on loop for however long it takes. And everyone has a little notepad and everyone writes their shit down

and then everyone brings, what about this? But it's fucking forever. But it means it's truly like, change my mind. That doesn't sound fun. It sucks. It's the equivalent of like

the vocal version of when you have to used to have to write music in a jam room, like everyone just, everyone jamming it once. What about this riff? And then someone else is like playing the drums and you can't get your riff across. It's that,

but for Vogue was, oh, what about this? No, that fucking sucks. And then people have arguments because you've got to be so quick pace with it. Everyone,

you have to be okay with, like having a shitty idea, but then we're all such blunt, like UK and then New York. Oh, that fucking sucks. Like, we have a running joke where I think Will Puckney once said, I'd rather say the word turtle.

Like, I'm not going to say who got really, really fucking offended by it through a little tantrum. And then we had to fucking, the name of the group chat is now just a picture of a turtle. Oh my God. But like, it's horrible. Don't do it. Is your singer's name Drew? Am I making that up? He is true.

It was true. It was true. He, like, I just imagine, like, I write a lot of the, stuff for, well, like, lyrically, I write everything. I write a lot of the music too, but it's just, there is a part of me that's like, man, yeah, like I, oh, like, I wish I had help. But then sometimes people try and chime in and then I'm like, oh, like, this is like, I'm like, I'm really protective of it because we've kind of built it into this thing. So I'm surprised that Drew isn't more like, like, like, I don't need your help. Like, I got this. Like, I think it's always been

everyone. It's all, it's always been everyone. Yeah, it's cool. So it's like everyone has it's great especially because some people don't like you know you can't have an opinion on absolutely every single fucking political thing that happens or else you'll be completely depressed all the fucking time sometimes i'll just put all my hand of them be like not that i don't care about this but like i it's not from my country or i haven't been around it enough to be charged up enough to fucking write some screaming for it so i'll like back out of it have you ever considered like not stepping into politics at all the last the last record oh it's your podcast now um the last record it was much more um ambiguous like lyrically was more like this is what it's about

but there was no we made a mistake on only deaf is real by like naming people's names at that moment that sucked and it just dates it immediately like that songs that those those songs are oh interesting you know i mean no that's that's a great point no one is the shit who that is so we tried to be more ambiguous with the last one and it worked really fucking well because it's obviously you know what's like are in general you write a song about x but someone else reading that or at the end of a movie here's what the director meant here's what you interpreted both of those are correct because it's art. So like we tried to do that.

I think we're trying to do that more. I'm especially pushing for that. It's just like, write the song about this. That's great. Yeah, I am a stray fan. I do feel like as I've gotten older,

it is harder for me to listen to having your music. I did listen to your newer album, but it's like, I just find I want to listen to like fast face metal when I'm like at the gym or a certain mood. And then when I'm in my car, well, I'm with my daughter a lot too.

So sometimes if I play metal in front of her, I'm like, am I like fucking you up in a way? I don't know. Like you solve it's like metal and chaos and she's just like in her car see what's her name hazel what is she uh oh she's got a song she does have a song yeah she's got she's got she only gets one that's cool yeah yeah but um no i i really liked uh god i i like i looked it up and i listened to it before i came on here

because it's fine it doesn't matter uh it doesn't matter uh it's the one it's it's the album is it subliminal criminal am i making yeah is that an album with the bird and yeah yeah that album rips, dude. Production sucks, though. No offense to Will Pony. It's really punk. I basically joined the album after that and I went, okay, guys, we're a metal band now.

This is how the drums sound. This is how we'll be doing this. Tom, here's my sugar. Here's Gojira. No, it's just, I know, you can get locked into like the mixing and just how things sound. But I just thought the songs were like, yeah, we'd listen to that album a lot. You're cute.

Good. Thanks, bro. Let's talk about dinner, guys. I am here. I am thrilled to talk about dinner with you because this episode of the podcast is brought to you by the lovely people at HelloFresh. HelloFresh makes it super easy to cook over 100 different recipes with fresh ingredients sent directly to your door in exactly the amount that you need for the recipe.

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the sleep token fart discourse. And it's only because I think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. It is funny. I saw somebody at the show, though, say that it wasn't real. Yeah, that ruined it. It ruined everything for me. But it was it's so, yeah, it was just

I almost, it's funny, because it happened and me and my guys were like, because they were I mean, they're massive. They're a huge band and I love their band, but it was just funny, like, I think they were still on this kind of like grand trajectory. Yeah. We were all like, I think that came out. were like, what if that just ruined their career? What if it ruined that song?

What have people kept doing the fart? That's what we kept talking about. Because there are like a decent amount of moments where it's like, I mean, he is a great voice, but yeah, it's just his voice and then an instrumental. And I'm like, it's just this one fan. Yeah, just leaves, like, what if this trend just starts where you just make a fart noise while they're playing? If anyone doesn't know what we're talking about, we're talking about there's a video on

Sleep Tokens, grand trajectory. There's a video of them. about, well, they're in the middle of the song, real down tempo section, just vocals and like synths, and someone rips a big fart, and people laughed in the crowd, and it was heard around the world. Apparently the fart was fake,

but I, I kind of piled on just because it was so fucking funny. I've had two moments, I'll talk about this, I don't give a fuck, two moments, and the beef is since squashed. I'm a beef squasher, right? My problem is I love a good joke. Like I had a conversation

It was so funny Whatever you were posting There was one I didn't post Which was the funniest one Which because I think I did three maybe four And all of them popped off And I was like I don't fucking hate this band It's just real funny

I'm gonna stop But I have one which was like You know the sleep token logo Like a black metal logo You can actually trace the word fart in it So like I was gonna post that And be like it was right in front of us guys But I drew the line at that

So I suddenly got Like I You know I follow the guys in the band And like I like And I like the band And I had

One of them Like heart react A story I posted Where I was like on Twitch And I was like What's up? And he was like Oh I love your stream man

And I was like Oh cool I was like You do know that I'm joking When I like The far stuff like I'm yeah yeah and he was like oh now we like we're all cool like we love it it's fine and then like the other day one the drummer hit me up because i he got he's like got booked for this

drum festival thing and he's in the small room which i played before which is 200 cap and i just i tweeted on it i was just like this is going to be carnage like 200 capacity he's he should be doing pretty wild yeah 10 times that you play like to 20 000 people yeah okay you should probably i really pissed off the owner of that drum stage and then the sleep-togging guy message me was like i love how you just piss everyone off and i was like thanks bro it's great though because i think i think there's a lot of us in music we're like afraid to push certain buttons like i feel like i'm way less active on social media because i'm just like i just can't i've like made jokes online and i mean twitter

twitter is just this like cesspool where it's it's like some of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life but it also just has the worst people existing at the same time so i bowed out of Twitter for any kind of discourse now, I'll just tweet funny shit. And then I just turn, if I'm like, if it's funny and I'm thinking I'm going to get some backlash for this, I just turned the notifications off immediately for it. I go, I make a joke, now I leave. And I feel so much better for it because I used to be, I've got a habit of like, just before I get in a long haul flight, tweeting something insane and being like, yeah.

And then I get on the flight and there's no Wi-Fi. I'm like, oh, my God, what's going to, like, what's going to fucking happen here? You know, like, I'm going to see what dumpster fire. Yeah, like I come back to it. I don't know why I do it. It's like a weird, like Twitter Tourette's. It's like, that's hilarious. Fuck.

Now, Twitter is, I just, I can't. We made friends on Twitter, though. That's how we're friends. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. It's always like a cool. You're like a, you're like a celebrity.

I feel like in the music scene kind of. So it's always cool. No. I feel like you are. Yeah. Or I just, it's, I feel like a lot of, I feel like we have a lot of mutual friends. And they always just say awesome things about you. And of course,

I've seen your drumming and it's great. No one cares about the drumming. It's weird. I think some people care about the drumming. Some people. It's kind of cool though because musician. If I get old as fuck,

hopefully I'll still be able to talk and be like, this motherfucker. It's a pair of Lars drumsticks. Love you, Lars. Come on the podcast. I love you. Oh, it's a large drum six. Oh, wow.

Have a little practice. You're a big Metallica fan? The biggest. It's like my fucking number one. And I will apologize for everything. St. Anger, I'm an apologist, like, I'm in. That's kind of a bit, though.

We're back after a small, a small break, which you actually bring me to one of my questions. Glass of water there? Mm-hmm. You got a set of pipes on you. Thanks, man. Like, are you doing the screaming and the singing?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's the upkeep there? Like, it's horrible. You shouldn't be doing a podcast, surely, if you've got to play in fucking seven hours or whatever. To be fair, we've had a, We've had two days off, so I'm like, it's fine.

It's more, it's like a 45 minutes set with peers. We're moving into our sets when we get back to the States, and that'll be a little more. I don't know, man. It's a lot of, I have this thing called it Vocalmist. Shout out Vocal Miss. It's this nabular. It's straight into this.

Vocal Mist for all singers. Hey, Vocal Mist, I'll take some money, too. Yeah. Tell me about Vocal Mist. Yeah. It's a great new technology. No, it's. I actually don't know what it is.

No, I'm not. I'm going to flip, flip sides here and say, I kind of thought it was bullshit for a second. Because my buddy Garrett and it's been, I'm planning on it for me. And he's like, he's like, you got to use it. It makes a big difference. And I used it on a headliner a few years ago. I still got laryngitis and lost my voice. And to be fair, I was just, I was being an idiot at the time and just not looking after my voice.

And then I did a few tours without it. And I was just kind of like, I don't know if I noticed a difference. And then I went to a doctor to have my vocal cords looked at it because I've just, I've always kind of like naturally at a rasp and my singing kind of breaks at some point in this cool way. People were like, how do you do that? I'm like, I have no idea. But I just, I was putting off going to see this doctor to look at my cords because I was like, he's going to tell me, oh, you got like 80 vocal nodes and your throat's fucked. And then I went in and they were like, they're like, no, they're in great shape. They're like, there's no, there's like no nodules.

Like nothing's wrong with them. They're like, you're just a little dehydrated. like just drink more water and then uh and then they gave me this sheet and it was like you can eat jolly ranchers that helps to like lubricate your vocal cords which is kind of weird and then they were like also uh like um nebulizers like vocal mist make a big difference and i was just like i think like three times a day i do it in the morning usually i do it right before we play then right after we play i just drink like a mask thing it's uh yeah it just basically uh vaporizes this saline solution and you inhale it and it's like the only thing that can because when you're

drinking water it's not actually touching your vocal cords it's just going into your digestive tract so when you when you breathe this thing in the vapor is actually like when you overuse your voice your vocal folds get like inflamed and fatter and then so if you inhale this thing and it like offers hydration and moisture and so they they kind of go back down a bit so so i do that i drink a ton of water it's i don't know if it felt like 10 years ago when we started touring i could like drink and like socialize all the time and it's just as i've gotten older it just hits this weird point where like it sucks because i think as a singer people assume like there's an ego coming into place which i is not the case i i doubt myself a ton and i mean there's so many good

singers it's like how can you not but yeah it's uh it's just funny because i think sometimes there's just days where i'm like man my voice is just tired i'm just gonna i'm just not gonna talk a lot today until we play and then um and then you can feel like because like your band is maybe doing okay like you tour with another band and they want to get extra chummy with you and i'm and i'm not giving them the cold short and sometimes i'll hold up an iPhone note so like i'm not talking today but sometimes i think it gets misunderstood like oh what he's like too cool to talk to us like you can't socialize let me tell you it it always gets misunderstood i've been on the other end of that like this fucking guy probably garrett this fucking guy garret over thinks it more than i do i but i had the

this thought i think yesterday in the shower like i've always in my head i've gone okay drummers have the hardest job followed by and and followed by whoever and then i was always like vocalists have the easiest job and then and it was just a load in thing like because you know you know i don't i help load it actually but you know it's funny like bullshit i did i i've been literally helping my band load in did you get away with it today because of this i did but to be yeah this is what this is for bro this is It is, but I fucked my backup on my birthday about a week ago. And I'm in effected like how freely I could move when we were playing.

And I was like, I don't think I'm loading it anymore. Like I've been doing it so was 18. I'm like 35 now. Like I'm literally like people, I've toured with bands who are like, is your singer like helping you load in gear? And I just, I'm involved in so many things with the band. I just kind of, I just feel like a piece of shit kind of. It's like all my guys are just picking up heavy things.

and I'm just like, I sing, so, like, that doesn't, it just doesn't make sense to me. I just pay someone else. I just pay for a drum tech. I will not go into all that drum tech anymore. I'm the worst. 37, bro, I paid my fucking Jews. But, anyway, I flipped it.

Because I was thinking about it the other day, and I was thinking about all the shit that you guys have to do on stage. If the show sucks, you can't just fucking put your head down and play the drums. Like, the show sucks. You still have to act like it's the coolest fucking day of your life. Plus, you've got all the upkeep on your voice. Plus, you've got, like,

exterior variables that will fuck your voice up like you said like oh i haven't drank any water i cannot fucking sing today or i get sick like if i get sick for the most part i can still play the drums if you get sick the song ain't happening no we've yeah me and my band have talked about that that it's it it's like god god bless the guys in my group it's just on the verge of dying they can still get on stage and play and there's just times where it's like and it feels like the elements are all against you for like your voice to yeah and recover, like you don't sleep, your mood. Sometimes it's just your mood. Like, I just wake up. And I'm like, man, I just wish I was at home with my daughter today, but I'm like in some country.

And I mean, but there's a part of playing I love. And most shows are like, they're like the time of my life. But yeah, it's funny. We had a bad show a few days ago. And I was just like, okay, it's got to. Yeah, it's just funny. You just got to, you, I just like don't believe in showing it on stay. I'm sure there's other shows that where like you can tell I probably look like I'm having a better time. it's yeah yeah again god bless pierce fans but they just don't drink water so many of them faint really yeah dude like the amount of times we have to like stop our set like and then it's like you get a minute end of a song i mean it's like or there's been times where we're gonna cancel i'm gonna get canceled real quick and you got you got something to say are people doing this for attention now

no no you know what's you know what was interesting was we um we did a show of a day before and yeah it was um it was just the lighting really just wasn't great we just we didn't look look very cool while we were playing and it was it kind of had me in my head and this um this person um they started waving and that's the thing it frustrates me too i'll just say publicly is that kids wave sometimes and it's sometimes hard to discern if it's like a hello like stop like there's somebody here and then other times i'm looking and i'm oh shit somebody's fainting and somebody's just like don't do that like you you it like sets off a panic in my head and then i or people who they keep writing me messages on their phone and I'm like I'm trying to think about is someone dying really sad

lyrics and then somebody's just like I your drummer's so hot and I'm just like I and you have to go like is this person trying to tell me that someone's passed out because you can't that is a fucking good point because you can't obviously you need to be told if someone's passed out that's why security just needs to be good but it does make you in your own head I'm the same if someone's like trying to get my attention when I'm playing I'm like fuck oh it's something happened and then I'm make 10 mini mistakes and they just wanted to say can i have drumstick yeah like all the ones i've been reading it's just like it just it said something like you guys equals 1 000 out of 10 i'm like that's really sweet that's really nice but also like i'm like singing about my dad and you're just

like your drummer's so hot and i'm like thanks did you actually get your drummer so hot yeah it was something like while singing about your dad i mean none of his songs i sing about are fun so it's they're not, I'm not like in a good place, usually while, while it's happening. But, oh, what I was going to say is, um, we played this venue and they, they gave us kind of a list of things. And it was like, don't, if you call for a wall of death, we will kill the PA. And we're just not that band anyways, but, um, and then another thing where they were like, kids in this area, I don't remember the city. I probably shouldn't even say the city, but they were like, kids in this area have a reputation of trying to get shows stopped mid-set for selfie opportunities. And it completely...

That sucks so bad. Name the city. Name the city. It was definitely in the UK. It was in the Manchester. Got Manchester vibes about it. Nottingham. No, not Nottingham. I used to live in Nottingham. Okay. It's not there. They're not good looking enough for selfies. That's really bad. I take that back. Leave it in though, Simon. It might be nodding here. I don't. don't know. But it was interesting. So they were like this. Nottingham Rock City. I think, nah, there's no way. Hells Angels staff. That's Nottingham Rock City. They're all Hells Angels. Oh, no. I don't know. It was anyways, it threw me for a loop because then they explained how security has this system where they have a green card and a red card. And basically if somebody

faints, because kids stop the show's too much, you have to wait for security to go red card, that kid's fading and then you have to stop your set and then you wait then they flash you a green card and you can keep going but i feel like it is happening more that's why like i obviously was joking i've left it too long for context i'm in trouble but like it does seem to be happening more i don't know if it's people aren't hydrating enough or pits are getting more violent or people will need to fucking grow up it's super no it's a very no no it's i know what you're saying that we we've had that talk in our too or it's just kind of like, I mean, if somebody is, if somebody is not safe and, and they're getting crushed, yeah, like we have to cite, it gets fine. I don't mind. But yeah, there are times where it's like,

I need a little health bar above everyone though, like those VR glasses. Get me like fucking those, uh, that's Apple's next thing. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's playing with the Vision Pro and it has everyone's hell. Like, that guy's at 90. Fuck you. I'm not stopping the show. Oh, stop the show on the 84. Bro, charge up before you come out. You're fucking good. I've seen it where they do the wave thing like somebody's passed out and I'm like I stopped singing and the guys are still playing and I'm like you guys good over there and then you can see like the guy holds up his phone like I found it don't worry and I'm just like I'm not fucking lost and found trying to sing fucking dark songs it's okay god bless him you know it's just um it really it's funny because we've had it happen to

it seems to always happen in the middle of the song and then we have this weird thing of like do we restart the tracks yeah and it just you just feel dumb like just and then and then there's times where they like, dude, it happened on the last song of our set one time and we were, I think, three and a half minutes end of a song and there was a minute left. There was like this big heavy part, Ender, and then we had to stop. And then we were just kind of like, we're done. I was like, we're like, we love you guys. Thanks for watching. I was like, it just, we're not going to start back three and a half because it's too weird to try and start like, all right, everybody, second verse on the click, ready? Like, it's just. If anyone's listening and they don't understand why

that's why this is hard. I'm going to. going to explain. See what I mean? This is me in my daddy era where I'm like, I'm going to educate. I'm going to teach people so they don't fucking stop the song unless you are nearly dying or passing out. All right. The band, even if they don't have a lot of stuff

on tracks, by tracks we mean like additional instruments that you can't possibly have live, additional vocal layers, any of that stuff. They're all on a computer and you press start and then it plays. And once it plays, it's fucking playing until that song has ended or sometimes until the set is

fucking end. So if we have to stop halfway through, the choices are restart the song, which most times isn't happening or like play without a click, which you're going to get a bad performance. So just, you know, I've educated you now. Look at you right now. I've educated you know. If you're going to pass out, pass out within the first minute of the song. Because we can roll it back.

There's 10 seconds would be great. Yeah. If you could time you're passing out. Yeah. 10 seconds, it want to get dark. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know if you really wanted to get dark, but I don't feel like you mentioned it a couple of times. There's not a lot that makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about. So dark sun. Mm-hmm. It just happened yesterday. The eclipse. The eclipse. Is that the title, is it, what's the title about?

Because the artwork's fucking like a cool eclipse thing. Yeah, yeah. Love that artwork by the way. It came out cool. I mean, figuratively, I, yeah, I was just writing a song about my dad after he passed from cancer and it was just sort of a, like I'm sure you've been there. It's just kind of where you're kind of in just this like black bottomless pit of just like this is horrible. And it just really just didn't feel like I would be happy. It's like it sounds so like ludicrous saying out loud. It just didn't feel like I would be happy ever again really. And so I think it just figuratively felt like the sun is just it's bright. Everything's great. It's sunny and everything's chill. And so it was it was interesting to feel like you could see maybe a like a glimmer of it like behind a horrible black object, but it was like something to kind of get past. So of course, like, I'm doing okay now. I mean,

it is, it is a void that you live with. It doesn't really ever seem to go away. And it's, it's kind of, it's that saying of like grief isn't linear. Like, or linear, sorry, it's like, like there's some days where I'm like, death's a part of life. Like, it is what it is. his time came can't change it and then there's other days where I have a I have a little like keyboard piano at home and I have a this really nice photo of my dad and I had a show I was playing it's like the most recent nice quality photo I had and then I have a small portion of my dad's ashes and this kind of like cool jade green sort of urn looking thing and they're both at my piano and stuff and uh it's just funny like sometimes like yeah some days I'm just like it's just part of life like I'm

very zen about it and then sometimes I'll have a few drinks at home. I mean, I just start looking at the photo for too long. I mean, I'm just like, fuck. Like, uh, so it's, uh, yeah, because I don't know if you've had to deal with that. It was for me, it was my first, it sucks. It was him. It was just my first like super significant loss. Like I've, other distant family members have died in my life and I've just kind of been like, that's crazy. Like, that's horrible. But I'm not like, it was never sort of debilitating with, and I think with my dad too was just sort of as like doctors were always kind of like you know this popped up we can do his treatment there's this thing what kind of cancer was it if you don't want to ask you

get a cancer in his thyroid glands like here um but then his cancer ended up spreading and i didn't i didn't notice either until it happened but basically like when you're your your cancer um what they say is metastasizes and it spreads to other parts of your body like you're fucked like there's oh yeah yeah that's it's just a matter of time basically so it started popping up in like his brain, his spinal cord, his lungs, and then it just hit this weird point where they were like, it was so weird too, because it was like my daughter was born in like January of 21. And then like a month later, they were telling, it was like just a super dark. I think, I think you should just be comfortable because he had a tumor growing

in his spinal cord like here. And it was causing him a lot of neck pain. And, they were basically like it was just it was just like there was no perfect answer to the situation they were essentially like we can operate on it to try and take it out and it might extend your life by a couple months if we do it but it might paralyze you during the surgery from the neck down but and they were and they were like because it's also kind of like holding your spinal cord together and then they were like but if they're like if we leave it alone you'll die faster they're like but there's also a chance it might just slip out at one point if we don't operate it and paralyze you anyway and it was just this kind of like he basically were like he

probably has like three to six months to live and it was i think we heard that i think in february and he died in july so it was a very like but it's hard too because when they stop because i mean the nice thing is he was taking just medication after medication to subdue his cancer and then it was like oh well you can stop taking it now because you're you're you're kind of accepting your fate so the shitty thing is your body starts feeling better temporarily and my dad It was just stubborn old, like, I think those doctors are wrong. Like, I feel fucking awesome. And like, I feel great.

And then like, and then, yeah, it didn't start getting real until I would try and bring my daughter to, I lived in L.A. at the time and he's in Orange County is like a 40-minute commute. And I would try and bring my daughter to like hang out with him. And I would always bring him like just food, just like lunch or dinner. And I brought him food one time. And he kind of like barely picked out it. And I was just sort of like, which is in his style.

I was just like, did the food sock? Like, you didn't like it. And then I think, no, I just like, don't really have an appetite lately. And then he was technically on something called like in-home hospice. He just had a few nurses come check on him a couple times a week. And they give you a packet for like a preparation of end of life. And so I just started skimming it. And then it said like, yeah, like when one patient's body is like preparing to die,

you, it stops like burning energy. So like, yeah. like calories it's like you don't you don't need them anymore so it's just uh that was kind of the when he yeah when he was barely picking at his food and then i was just sort of like oh shit this is man it didn't it just didn't feel super real until it got to that point and then i'd see him like every week in between that and then every week i saw him it was like oh he's just like rapidly losing weight looks yeah i would just see him and i'd be like it wasn't a mean thing i was it just internally i was like you look horrible dude like this isn't good and so i think um

It's kind of nice though, because I feel like we got to have a, not a good chat, but I, because I saw it coming, I just sort of said there were times in our relationship where I felt like I lived with him for a long time. And I felt like we, towards the end of living together just got like at each other's throats sometimes. No, you do living with anyone. Yeah, it's just, it's like too much of anything is bad. And I like, I love my dad. He loved me. But yeah, we just, we hit these pockets where it would, it'd be like nothing. And we would just get in an argument over something. And I moved out. And then, like, I saw him a week after I moved out. And then we were, we were, like, laughing and everything was fine. I was like, yeah, it's just because we were on top of each other for, like, 10 years. But we had a, I felt like, I felt lucky that I had the chance to talk to him and kind of tell him, like, hey, I'm really sorry if I was, like, short-tempered with you sometimes.

And I feel like I could have been more patient, you know, with certain things. And just told him, like, very deep, like, weird things you probably, like, don't talk to your dad about. Or at least like, at least that era of dads, I think that it was just a very like, you don't talk about your feelings and like, shut up. But it was good to have that kind of open honesty with each other. But it was, yeah, I ended up, the whole album isn't about my dad, but like, I think like five songs or about him. I wrote this song called Neon Grave. And I was like, that'll be like my, my dad song sort of thing. And then you wrote that first.

Yeah. And then it was kind of like, oh, I didn't even fit in like near. nearly kind of all the things I was experiencing and it was hard to squeeze it into like that three or four minute song. So I ended up writing. Yeah, Darkson, the title track, Dreamstate was about like these dreams I was having about him after we passed where it like really felt like we were communicating. There's a song called Parallel that was pretty, I don't know, it's a cool song, but I think it's too sad. I wrote it about the chorus is like the concept of my dad being alive and well in like a parallel universe. But then the verses,

are super kind of graphic about my experience watching him die in hospice and so it's a very it's a cool song but it is we like finish the album and i was like i think that's too sad i actually think sometimes i've looked back on our music have been like maybe we need to like tone it down a little because i don't want to like alienate it where i've seen i've just seen comments people go like i can only listen to this band sometimes and also you've got you've got a fucking sing them all on stage you have to revisit that place mentally so yeah i was like i've seen where architects not playing uh gone with the wind anymore like because they just fucking can't put themselves back into that place that's super fair you mentioned um like i don't know if you

ever gone through this so i got i got two like adjacent things so tom sell very good friend of mine died um and that sorry to hear that i mean oh i was shocked i'm sorry for yours as well but it's like watching someone die in a hospice is the most insane same thing ever like and luckily i've never i've i've had family members like you said i've have family members that are you know at least two steps removed so i've never really had that fucking real punch in the gut i mainly had like i was a kid and it's like oh people died like this sucks old people die yeah it's not fun but it's like uh it's yeah 90 but then yeah watching someone die an hospice is absolutely horrific.

Not that it's worse or better, but like watching someone your age die like that. I was going to say, he was like 28 or something. Yeah. It's fucked me up for life. I have health anxiety now. All the boys do. Like, I, every time I get a stomachache, I'm like, well, this

is it. It's just because you just don't think. You get this sharp pain in your heart and it hurts to breathe for a second. You're like, oh, fuck, it's happening. Yeah. I mean, I'll take that one. Give me a fucking quick one. But like watching, because it also moved to his spine. And like watching someone with spinal cancer is not nice. Like having to get, I don't know if this is too fucking personal to go into,

but having to get like massages for his legs, because his legs are going numb because of the fucking spinal cancer. And watching him deteriorate because obviously I live like reasonably far away. Come see him and then come back next month. And like you said, just a shell. And then you think, well, I can't go any much more than this. It's like, oh, he's in the hospital. you just come down and you come down it's like oh my god this is just yeah that's uh man that's intense

i'm i'm sorry i didn't know you knew him though well to be fair it's funny i like i i mean i'm not i'm i like architects they're like uh like big their music's crazy good um and yeah he was just a very he just felt like this innovative he just he was just writing Convierte your passion in a business with Shopify and bathe records of with the form of pay with a better conversion

of the world. You've heard of the best. The Meregoreau conversion of the world. The incredible system of Pago of Shopify facilita the site

web, in the social and in in any place. That is music for your ears. No, you do you guys, your business

will be a super-exit with Shopify. Empecia to start your period of month in Shopify. coms bar records. stuff in metal and hard i feel like metal and hard rock got stale where it was just like chuggy chugs

like it was just kind of like i'm over it and then he was just doing this really cool like like beautiful melody yeah he's fucking changed it yeah you did and like like everybody was just kind of like like oh how can i write a song that sounds like either the like sam from architect or how can i write instrumentally just these like well yeah and like like speed like reverb guitar in the background and stuff and it was uh no he was a very like you hear sometimes like like musicians who die and you're just kind of like that's nuts like I like I've heard of that band he was a very like it's crazy though it's yeah I've got because they can't they cancel a tour and I remember I was I was like oh man that's crazy like I hope everything's okay and then um and then when

they announced that that was the reason I was just like dude he was so young and just it's just I don't know it's such a dark thing you're just like of all the musicians who could have been taken too early that's like this guy who was like a yeah just like an innovative like Like I would have been so, I'm not trying to bum you out. I just personally as a fan would have been so excited just to see creatively, like where his mind would have gone with writing, like as they evolved. And I mean, they've still held it together. So like, it's really admirable.

But it is just very like, that one hurt. I didn't know of a guy. I don't know any of those guys. And when I saw that one, I was like, that hurts me. That's really, really shitty. It was, it's, it's weird because, so I, I, I, I told me. with architects from 2011 to 2016. No, drum tech.

So they're like my fucking boys. Wild. So you're around for like the, oh, what's that song? Early Grave, is that the song? So I joined the record after that. So Early Grave was on Hollow Crown. They just started date,

or just finished Hollow Crown when I joined. But so like, I was there for the whole, like them playing venues smaller than you were about to play tonight. Like, and then my fucking boys. But like, I wonder if you were on, a tour they were god i forgot who they were out with i had never heard of them before and i saw them at the

glass house in pomeona and i feel like they were out with like bring me which is wild i think of bring me i think it was like bring me suicide silence um there was like definitely some weird fucking metal tour they did yeah i don't know but i heard them play uh early grave live and it just hit that bridge part with like the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun and i remember live i was like what like fucking genius yeah and i found holocron after bad and i was like i can't believe i I've never heard of these guys. Yeah, look at them now. No, it's a weird one because like,

it made me, I don't know, I'm such a more, I've talked about this on the podcast more. I'm a way more spiritual person because of it because shit happened after it and during it and even post it. Like, I see in Dan, like Tom now, and I don't know if it's because they're twins,

but I don't know if it's because, even like intellectually and emotional, and emotionally I'm like it's like a bit of Tom is in Dan now and I don't know if it's just because I don't see Tom anymore and it's just like oh you remind me of Tom because obviously you're fucking brother it's such a fucking weird thing

but like other than the health anxiety I fully am like it's a weird one I like part of me is always just like one of my boys knows what happened after this like

after this world and I think about it all the time I'm like he fucking knows like there might be nothing he doesn't know but they might be selling and he fucking knows like it's a weird almost comforting thing like someone I know knows what happens it kind of yeah it was a man it was interesting because I um I don't know if I was like can I talk about this a ton I um I was close to this girl who told me about her experience and seeing this medium um in orange county so I actually went to see this guy to like just kind of see what happens and it was just a very like a very strange experience he's booked out like six months like any I think he's like 400 for an hour so I mean he's just like when was this story yeah it was there was this interesting

thing where she like basically my friend it was weird my friend's dad passed I think uh like the day after mine did um and then she tried to go see this guy immediately and then he made a comment like if there's somebody who like didn't come through that you wanted to come through, he's like, I feel like it takes their spirits a certain amount of time after they pass to kind of find their footing and realize what's going on. He's like, so he's like, I feel like six months to a year is a little more of like a healthier time frame.

And then longer it gets kind of clear. And so I think I waited like a year after he passed. And then I booked. And then he was like six months booked out. So I think I was a little jaded going in because they asked for your name. stuff and it's like you can fucking google that yeah it's just for me it's just I'm not it's not it's not like if you look up anything about me it's it's pretty easy to find out like my dad had cancer and he died but it was um yeah it was pretty interesting he definitely brought up

somebody who would have been my dad and he was very it's like if I if I was a like a closet or like just like I didn't talk about my life at all on social media and they didn't know they didn't know shit about my life and he was saying this stuff he was saying it was pretty strange because he was just like I think he brought up my uncle who died which was pretty weird. Is that on the internet? Um anywhere. Super deep.

Um, but it was also very... That's your job though. You can fucking spend... I just got to Google this guy's in later on. Ooh, juicy. I'll talk about that. He didn't, to be fair, he wasn't like, oh, this guy's name is Rory and he was shot. He was just kind of like, he's like, yeah, looks like a guy in his 20s. And he was, he was

basically saying like if he's saying, if this person standing on this side of you, they're from your dad's side. If they're on this side, they're from your mom's side. So he brought up some like women. I haven't lost a ton of people on my mom's side, but he brought up some people where I was like, I was like, I don't know, maybe. Like I don't like, it was like my grandma died, but we weren't close. And then when he got into a dad stuff, he was just kind of like, he's like, yeah, there's just this, there's kind of, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, but you know, he's like, sometimes they, they project the image of, um, themselves past death that they, he's like, he's like, he's like,

felt was like the best time of their lives. He's like, but there's this guy patting your shoulder saying like, that's my boy. And, and, and he was just kind of like, I don't know, he's like, I'm just, he's like, I'm looking at this guy and he's like, I'm getting this impression that he had a lot of health issues and he was kind of just ready for the pain to stop. And he's like, I think he was, he kind of used this analogy. Like, he's like, it seems like this guy was kind of like a really old beaten down car where it's sort of like there's so many things going wrong in the inside, but the car looks okay from the outside. He's like, and I think he, I think he hit a lot of how he was actually feeling from you while he was experiencing these things. And then he brought up,

somehow he got into music because my dad was a singer and he was like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's, like, I think it's a good place for you too to like kind of connect to one another now is. So that's I'm so torn. I'm so torn about this because I'm like, this motherfucker is even making 400 bucks an hour to Google shit. Yeah. Or this is real shit.

I think, I think honestly the thing, the thing that gives me pause is my friend's experience is she's not very open about a lot of stuff. And the weird thing was, it was like she had an older brother who died of a drug overdose like 10 years ago. And her dad who died that she was trying to go see, her dad went to this same guy to try and talk to his,

son who had overdosed and I guess this guy's love language was like bringing food to parties and stuff so at some point during the session with that he's like you put out like a bowl of like Doritos in front of you like do you do you kind of know what that's about and then and then um my friend went to see this medium after her dad died and her dad didn't come through but the same brother did and she's like and I don't think the guy knew that her and her dad were related And then she's like, oh, there's this guy. He, um, he just put a cake out in front of you. Like, do you know, kind of know what that's about?

And then, uh, and then there was weirder stuff where she had a really hard time, but she had an ex-boyfriend who died of a drug overdose also. And the guy was just saying like, he got her, I don't want to say her name, but he had a cassette tape tattoo with her name on it. And he was like, he's like, he has a tattoo here. He's like, and it says, uh, your name, like on the inside of it. And he was like, any, he was like saying things to her. like like very specific ways of saying like I love you that only they would say and he's like he

just said like I love you blah blah blah and it was just kind of that that's I think that's the only reason I went is because her experience was so over the top undeniable because you can't post stuff like that online but yeah but I with mine I was definitely like you can find out all this if you googled it it was it was still an interesting experience but I I think I was just kind of thinking about because I think we all just want to know like yeah like are you good somewhere or is is it are you just is it just like a black is it nothing it's nothing and then this guy's just like making so much money off people's I mean I'll throw mine in here this is the my the single most crazy thing has ever happened to me in my fucking life I think I've only spoke about it on the podcast

once so we might get people if you're bored of this story it's my grief okay so you're fucking rude um Dan so um Tom's brother yeah his uh you would call it a bachelor party we would call it stagdo we went to um somewhere like in uh cornwall with the beautiful edge of the country we're it's the first night we're going out for drinks we go up to this top of this uh like cliff top thing where you can see a beach and we're all there and we're smoking a joint and uh it's real quiet somber moment for some reason and i'm finding myself i'm thinking about tom should be here like it wasn't that long after tom died and then dan's getting married So in my head

I'm like Tom should be here Like yeah I'm just sat fucking having a little think about that Yeah Everyone's quiet No one's saying a word Beach is down This is a hundred percent

Fucking true story Beach is down A cliff Beach sea No one on the beach We're just there Smog gonna join Everyone's just you know

slight chit chat But everyone's quite somber A kid Comes onto the beach And writes in huge letters Across the sand The name Tom it is

fucking literally all the hairs just fucking stood up it was the most insane thing I've ever seen and no one said a fucking word it was like the whole beach

he wrote his name in like someone's got a photo of it I don't want to like get the photo and put it on the podcast yeah I might message them

and no one really said anything and then we everyone was just like should we go to the bar and then we went to the bar and then everyone just went well that was really fucking weird And like everyone was talking about how they were thinking about Tom at that moment.

And it was, it's just, I can't fucking explain it. Obviously you can explain it like, it's a very common name. But like, boy, that's funny. The timing is strange. It's so insane that no one else on the beach. And it like, ever since that moment, I was like, I'm fucking, I was a strict atheist until that moment. And now I'm just like, I don't fucking know. Yeah, yeah.

What the fuck? Who does though? You know, it's kind of the weird. part of being alive but i think yeah have you got any uh religious religious bone in your body what you got no i think it's um i think i was like i think i'm still agnostic yeah i'm just i'm just i'm just a pussy sitting on the fence i don't i i mean it's not it's not a political war so yeah it's yeah it's yeah i just um i think a lot of organized religion gets it wrong um and i think they just focus on the things that fit their own personal agenda.

And I think for me, some of the worst people I've met have been devout Christians. And I'm, I think, I think Garrett from Planet is a really good example of somebody where he's like, he's like a Christian who, it just adheres to like, you just love everybody and treat everybody with kindness.

And that's kind of like the point. He's the good one. More of him. He is. Yeah. He is more of him. Oh yeah. I do.

I might be a Christian if everybody was like that. But they're not. Like it's, I don't know. So it's... I like the concept of like the nice Christian but like

the story and the like parallels with different other religions I'm like I get it as a concept of being nice to people but in my head I'm like this didn't happen

but like in terms of like the the realm beyond death I'm 100% agnostic I'm like I don't fucking know anymore and that's kind of cool and I have a buddy

that knows. I don't know. Yeah, it is. I think they said they've done like scientific studies that your, your energy, like you can measure energy leaving the body and then like going somewhere outside of the body. Yeah, I think it's like 21 grams thing or whatever it is. I think it's 21.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Like the body weighs a little less after they die. Yeah. It's kind of fucking sick. I don't know, man. Yeah. Who knows?

It's, uh, it's okay. Honestly, I feel like, um, probably in, uh, probably in relation to my dad and to Tom in your situation.

It's like for my for my dad, him dying was definitely very sad. But I don't I don't want to pry into what it was like for Tom. For my dad, he wasn't conscious for a few days before he died. And I think he, he wasn't taking a certain medication that he needed. And so he was having like seizures and shit.

Like the last two days he was alive. And so it was weird. because he'd be flailing and his eyes would be open. And then he'd kind of just go back to lying down. And then the first time it happened, I was like, oh, his body is like dying like it's happening.

And then it happened like two more times after that. And I was just like, and his, yeah, and his breathing was just so like, so labored. It was just, um,

yeah, I mean, it's, it's a dark image in my head. But I think that the, it sounds so, it sounds horrible. But when,

when he died, there was a weird kind of sigh of relief for him. Because I was like, whatever death is, it's probably more peaceful than your body giving out on you and like fighting to stay alive. So it was kind of, uh, there was, I, I imagine it, I'm, I don't want to pry into that, but I'm, I'm sure it was probably the same for, for Tom where it's like, whatever he was experiencing at the end of his life, it's, it, death is probably more peaceful at the end of of the day. But it's still, it's still so sad, especially like, I mean, I felt like I had more time

with my dad um 70 to my dad diving was 72 i still i'm like you played a lot of music you like you had a good life like you know if you had like four kids and then i do think tom's is it just feels like he was just robbed of a lot you know but but sometimes i think i don't want to do the whole fucking podcast on death but we have i know i'm like we should probably go to have we can't because i've still got two gressions on dark sun um i've got a weird thing as well where I'm like, you know, Tom was such a fucking trailblazer and like, he changed fucking metal core. Yeah. And therefore metal.

And I like, sometimes it's like, sometimes part of my brain is like, these people are too good for the earth. And I'm like, that's why they get gone. Like, it's so weird. You got like Chuck from the band Death, who changed death metal and therefore changed progressive metal and stuff. Dead brain tumor. I'm like, what is it? like, if you got too much fucking good shit?

Yeah. Yeah, just like, just like, or there is some sort of afterlife and they're all watching and they're like, kind of fancy that guy here. Yeah, like, let's get a fucking show. Freddy, boom, you're in. Kind of into metal now. Tom, come on. You mentioned, so like the concept of Dark Sun of like, you know, what the sun, what appears

to be like happy, whatever being masked by. It's just light and dark. Like there's a glimmer of it. Is the title track on purpose so fucking happy sounding musically? It's like a fucking pop song. Yeah, it is the only song we wrote on the album that we structured like an EDM song sort of. We kept trying to do like, oh, there's a big chorus and I'm doing this crazy melody. And then everything we were trying just sucked.

We didn't like it. And then eventually got what ended up becoming. the chorus but it's just yeah it's like the chorus is like the hook of like the synth playing yeah this stuff but um is it conscious decision decision no it just happened that way it was just very like it is funny thinking about it now though like it is it is the most it sums up the artwork it sums up the whole yeah the whole thing i think there's a funny appeal to it because it's like you're it's like a bop but you're like this is really fucking dark yeah no that's what i mean it's like this like emotionally sucks yeah it's fucking

banging. Dude, it's one of my favorites to play live because it's just, it's so chill vocally. I'm just kind of cruising. And then it's just a fun. Like, it's just cool. It's a very, like, fancy rock song live. So it's, uh, we're not smart enough to make that choice.

But it is funny that it ended up that way. Just pretend. Yeah, yeah. We did that on purpose. Light and dark. Dream state. So you mentioned there were vivid dreams that you were having after he passed. Yeah.

Do you share one or any other? Um, yeah, I think the one, yeah, the one that hit me, it was kind of weird. It's because sometimes it's dreams and people have died. It's like, is there, there were ones I had a memoir. I was like, this is nonsense. It doesn't mean anything. And then, but I don't know. It's weird.

There's like this weight you can feel. I don't want to rob my guy this story either, but my drummer, Zach is wild. His mom died of cancer, I think like a year or two after my dad died of cancer. And he had a really similar dream where he, like, walked in a field with her and they talked for a minute and he woke up and it's hard to describe it it's it's it's like he felt a true weight after it and i've i've had dreams of my dad were like we're at a mall or something and it's it's just bullshit and then i wake up and i don't i'm like that was weird but i don't feel anything and then i had a dream um that i was at my dad's his funeral had already

happened of course but i was at his funeral but it was we were having it at a bar and um i sang at my dad's funeral, this cover of us, stand by me, because my, it was, there's just a weird inside thing there. But, um, and then in the dream, my brother was singing instead. And I was like, damn, he killed it. And then, um, and I remember, yeah, I just, I had this dream where, um, I was at this, like, bar top table, um, with my family. And I was kind of just like, I wasn't crying. I just kind of had my head, like my head in my hands. And then, uh, um, yeah, like somebody put their hand on my shoulder. And then, uh, I looked up. And it was my, my, dad and I just kind of like lunged at him and hugged him really tight and um and it was just this

weird reality to live in where in you know in the dream things are happening and you're like oh that's cool and then I was like oh cool we get to like his funeral is like it's like our last hang like we get to hang out one more time and uh I don't know my brother was talking to him and he's like do you have anything you want to say my dad was just like yeah I just I love him and I'm really proud of him and all this stuff I just woke up and then yeah just crying and it just is I was going to cry right there. Yeah, yeah. It's,

it's hard to describe. It's just there was like this energy that in me that just, it kind of fucked with my head and like, was that real? Was it like melancholy? I can't relate to this specifically. My dad had cancer, but thank God he fucking beat it.

But I can't relate to this. Man, it was fucking. I don't know. There's a whole other dark thing, but like he got cancer in the darkest moment of my life when I was like, I'm going to pack this in. And then that happened.

And I was like, I kind of can't pack this in. So it's actually fucking sick. Like, oh, it's about you now. Yeah, but that was great. But I have, I was what I was going to ask, like, did you wake up and,

like, have a weird melancholy like you had seen him? Because I, I can't relate to it as a person, but my old dog, who isn't dead, I just don't see anymore. Right.

I still less now, but I used to have dreams where we just go on a walk. And I'm, not comparing your fucking dad to a dog it's the same but i would wake up it's exactly the same no i would wake up from this walk that i have with my old dog that i fucking loved to bit and it was a weird melancholy like oh i felt like i just saw her like it was it was like nice i was sad sad but it was like i felt like i just got a fucking hanging yeah exactly the same yeah yeah

your dog and my dad exactly no and the emotion surrounding and the emotion surrounding i don't offend you that. It was kind of like nice. I'm just kidding. No, it. No, it wasn't. It was absolutely horrible. No, you hit the nail on the head. It was it was exactly that. It was a super profound kind of sadness, but like felt cool in a way because I was because I think up until then I was just sort of like, damn, is he just like, is just nothing happening? Is that what happens after death? And I think that was my only real like kind of glimmer into, oh man, maybe like, he's okay or I don't know maybe he's talking to me I don't know because it just because like I said I had other dreams where they felt like kind of distorted weird altered versions of things that had already

happened and I would wake up and be like uh it was weird but I didn't really feel anything I was just kind of like uh and then that was like one of the only dreams I had where yeah I just woke up and I was just like fuck like that was different it was the same thing by I told my drummer about that and he he told me out yeah that I think it's the same for him like he said dreams about his mom maybe that seemed less significant. He woke up and was just like, it was just weird. And then he had that dream of walking through the field with her and just woke up like very emotional. And it's just like you just feel like there's a, there's a weird way to it. So I really want to stress that I was not comparing my dog that is still alive. I just meant at the time,

I woke up feeling like I'd seen that animal. Whereas I like, sometimes like you say, I feel really bad for that. No, it's all good. I feel really fucking. No, I'm just kidding. around. We've got to talk about this acoustic thing. Replica. What's the deal? Is it all features? Because there's a lot or features and covers. What's the deal? Sell it to me. Sell it to everyone. Sell me this pen. Sell me this pen. I had an idea initially like, oh, it would be kind of sick. We had a different feature. And then I had a bunch of people lined up. And then I just started feeling like, I think it's just kind of overkill. So yeah, we basically, I don't know. That's how I got into music. I was just kind of like a singer-songwriter vibe. So I'm really.

comfortable on an acoustic guitar and just myself. And I don't know, we just kind of tweak these versions of these songs in ways. And I was lucky enough to have like a lot of cool people on it. You're seeing Lucas tomorrow. Lucas is on it. Who you got? Give me the run. Caleb's on it. Yeah, Caleb from a bear too. Love that guy. Dude, he just like, yeah, one of my favorite people I've met through music recently. Yeah, you're my new guy after I. Have I? Yeah. Even after the dog dad thing. Yeah, yeah. But no, yeah, all of Beartooth, honestly, it's like, sometimes you tour with fans where

you're like, they're amazing and I really like them, but you don't like talk a ton past touring and there was just something about Beartooth where it was like, oh, we're like best, we're all like best buds. I love touring with that man. So much. Yeah. They're like, I think it's because they're, I mean, they're such cool people outside of playing, but I think watching them play, I'm like, I gotta step my shit up.

Like, this is kind of fucking insane. Yeah. loves awesome and then there's this girl her name is umbra dela rosa she's in this band called moxie the band they're yeah a little bit like on the smaller side but i i found there they put out a full-length thing i think in 2022 and it was like it's like wall-to-wall the whole album is so good and i don't i don't find that like with bands i like even so um we toured with them a few years ago or not even like a year-a-half but anyways yeah um amazing singer she's like so much character in her voice. So we just had those three people. I definitely tried with a few other people and like more

like notable bands. But sometimes just we had to like get this album out. Some of them are like, I'm on tour for like another six months. Who do you regret not getting? Who was who was in the, who was in the lineup? Why? You've got one. You got one. I don't know if I should call them out. They say no. They're just too busy. You don't have to call someone out. You can you can say this person couldn't do it or just give me some juice. We almost had Noah from battle from bad omens on a song. When was this written? When was it written? As in like when did you write the acoustic song and ask him to be on it?

Because they just fucking blow up. I'll be surprised that you can get. No, they were very popular already by the time. Yeah, yeah. Because we had already toured together. And Noah's a really sweet guy. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, it's just like I was on tour up until a certain point. And then I had like a few weeks to finish this record.

And then I think they were going to Mexico. And he had like this like three day pocket. we were trying to make work and it was just like too tight and it was just like just couldn't happen it would have been really cool um maybe someday but he was he was very nice about it it's uh but i think i just feel like i see that a lot where people tag our bands and they're like you guys should sing something together and i was like it was like almost there but yeah it'd have been fucking huge yeah it's okay he's sort of like almost a sleep token like because he's just not on the internet anymore i'm like i see it for him man yeah i see it and i'm like this is the thing

no if i wasn't on the internet all the fucking time that's why i came back to twitter i'd have no job people want me to be on the fucking internet constantly so i'm like i'm just in this now but like i see him and i'm like oh that must be kind of sick like you can just fucking do your thing it is yeah disappear it's funny i've talked about this with somebody else too it's like i think there's times of uh it's not jealousy there's just definitely times of envy where it's like this new standard has been said as a band where it's like bad oman announces a tour it's sold out in a day sleep token announced or sold out in like 10 minutes. And then it's funny, like, we'll announce a headlining thing.

And it's like, like, we're going out, this to what we're doing in September has sold like, like 24,000 tickets in the US. And it's like, most of it's probably going to sell out. But like, because it didn't sell out in the first day, you feel like your band is like shit. Yeah. And it's just sort of like...

It's weird because this never used to happen until like these two. Yeah. But I think what I've realized, though, and it's like, it's no disrespect to their fans. I think they have, had a trajectory that blew up. I think I'm not it wasn't all TikTok but I think like I think I think a lot of things were factored in but I'm just kind of like I don't know if I want a meteoric rise like that personally where you're just like it's like we're kind of known right now and people like they're a band it's cool. I mean like in a year it's they're like putting my birth certificate online it's like I don't want that level like I'm like you know it was like I toured with like Silverstein and I was like and I was like man it's like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like you know it's like I I'm not saying this in a way, but it's like mean. It's just, I think every band is kind of like, what's the next big peak as we go?

Like, how do we keep growing? And I'm always kind of like, I want to play bigger venues and bigger. I meant it's like with Silverstein, you know, when we were supporting them, they were doing like 1,500 to 2,000 tickets a night. And I remember being like, damn, I don't know if Silverstein ever really got into like the arena, like, headlining kind of phase of their career. And I remember going like, I wonder if that like makes them sad. And then I kind of was like, you know what, though?

they've been a band for like 20 years and they're still pulling like 2,000 people. Like that's amazing. If you can tour three times a year to 2,000 people, you've got money. Yeah. That's good money. Yeah. And I think it just gave me a different perspective where I think you're always kind of looking. Like success is fun and it's cool to see people care about your band, but I'm also like,

I don't think I need like. I don't think I need that. Yeah. I don't think I need that level of fame that like sleep token and bad. Like God bless him. I'm sure it's incredible. Unless you've got a mask, then it's probably. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but then it's like, you can Google and find out who any of those guys are too. I wonder, though. I always wonder this because like Slipknot when Slipk came out, we're old enough to remember when Slipknot came out. First album, almost the whole album cycle it was they're completely anonymous. And then it was, I think, oh, are you were that we found out who they were. And I'm like, and I know what I'm like, I've got a fucking ego. Like, I might come across like a fucking super Zen master, which I definitely don't. But I've got a fucking insane ego. And I'm like, I wonder it.

if I could do it. I wonder if I could do the mask without being like, by the way, guys, it's me. I wonder if that's coming. I've thought about that too. I'm like, I wonder if they have a planned arc for their band where they're like, we're just going to show what we look like. Otherwise, as I think about it with like ghost and I think about it with other bands where it's like Sleep Tiger is more, I know it's the two, it's the singer and the drummer that writes everything, I think. I'm sure the other guys write stuff as well, but with ghost, in particular, there's been, I fucking love Ghost, I'm a Ghost Apologist. You can just, you can treat people pretty badly.

And like, I'm not saying he did, but there's like ex-discrundal members, like ex-gatarist of Ghost or anything like that. And, like, you can get, if you're anonymous, you can get kicked out and then have no career. Whereas, like, if you, if Sleep Token, and I'm not saying this does happen, but if Sleep Token's names and personalities were out there a little bit now, if there was anyone getting kicked out or anything like that, they could then go and have a successful career.

Whereas I think if fucking four got kicked out now, is there one called four? There must be. Is there four? I think it's vessel. I think it's one, I think it's one, the guitarist is just four.

Who's one? Who's one? Is that just vessel? Is it two? Yeah. Okay, so it's one, vessel to four. The ego.

The IMDB. The IMDB fucking race. I am vessel and I am one. I'm a vessel. I am one. We don't say it out loud. I wonder if four, like you could kick four out tomorrow and the guy would be like, hey, I used to be four in sleeptogun. Yeah, right. You know what's funny about that is this guy

messaged me one time and I, it was just in my request on Instagram, but he's like, hey man, I'm a songwriter out of somewhere in the UK and he's and he just was like, he's like, I would love to do some songwriting with you. He's like, I used to play like, um, bass or guitar and sleep token or something. And I was like, that's fucking hilarious that that you, You could just be a total nobba that you do. I know that guy is. But it was so funny to me that I was like, it's just like anybody could do that.

You know, I put in sleep token for a little bit. It's like, yeah, there was a time because of like when I did reaction videos. And this is actually back to your point about like, I care more about longevity than I do meteorite rise. In the pandemic,

I did the reaction videos and I got 40,000 more YouTube subscribers. But I fucking hated it. And I hated people being known, being known for the reaction shit and back to our other story about like there's a hundred people's different perceptions of you. There was people that hated me

because they'd watch a reaction video where I didn't like the drummer and they're just like, oh, this guy's a fucking piece of shit and I was like, I'm just not going to put it out there. So the reaction I did to sleep token popped off so much.

What time did you react to? I don't know. I got no idea. But like, because I was, you know, he's a fucking amazing drummer. So it was all positive. And the best thing about it didn't edit his drums.

So I was just like, you know, This is trying to educate people that this is fucking real drumming. And the same when he did drumming. He didn't edit his drums. Big fucking respect. But because of that video popping off so much, there was a time when you Googled Sleep Token drummer and it said it was me. Because I was the only name associated with it.

That's fucking awesome. I feel like you could play his stuff. I'd do it. I'd love to do it. It'd be so fucking obvious though. He's this fucking kind of fucking chunky guy. I'm going to get. But he writes everything.

He'd never, I'd fill in. I don't think he's getting kicked out. I'm not saying the others and get kicked out. He's chilling. It's the ghost drummer could get kicked out tomorrow. I'd also do that. Tobias. Oh, if I can do that.

I'd love to do that. Shout out ghosts. Yeah. Fucking love a bit ghost. I love just a pop hook. Love a pop hook. You love a pop hook. Oh shit.

Evanescence. Amy Lee. Yeah. Stoked on your song. Crazy. Yeah. What happened? That was something where it's not,

I'm not like saying anything bad about our label. Just sometimes they're like, oh, we're going to like pass the song along to this person and you're like eh sure and then like um so they said they knew somebody at their management and they were going to pass along a song and i was just kind of like yeah that sounds great like sure and then they like sent that email and it was like the day before the song came out they were like like she really likes it and um they're going to like post it from their social tomorrow and i was still kind of like sure she does like sounds great and then yeah they posted

it from their social media and i was like that's fucking crazy that's really really cool um so yeah that one came out nice. What's funny is we was it my immortal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We almost, we almost did Ghost of You by my chemical romance instead because I always just thought that would make a cool cover. And then our producer, Dan Bronstain pulled up, I think, the streams for My Immortal on Evan S. He's, he's like, bro, he's like, this song is like, he's like, ghost of you is great. He's like, that song is like an iconic. It's just, you'll get way more traction and recognition probably. So, yeah, it came out awesome. We kind of, we kind of laid down like a rough of it in a couple hours and was like oh there's like something really cool

here so yeah probably my favorite cover we've done is that is that the only cover on so it's reimagined songs and one cover yeah the other nine are all original songs but is it fucking 10 it's a 10 it's a full album yeah yeah I think it's cool it's very if you want a very chill sad just kind of sitting in color vibe did you do all of it yeah literally just the you show. What's that royal we split if you did all of it? It's a lot to me to to be fair. I fucking love

putting people on the spot with that question because their face just dropped. I can't remember who I did it with recently and we have to cut it out. I can't remember. There was someone and I was like, what's that royalty split saying? I don't care. They know. To be fair, I think I always give them

something. You nearly said more. I always give them more than they're fucking more. No, it's just I just want them I just want all of them to get some type of income outside of touring and so it's interesting hearing some I've met some guys of bands who are like

we're a band it doesn't matter if it's one guy writing it we split it like five ways and I'm like I don't agree with that at all that's what we do and yeah it's not I mean it's good

sometimes I'll tell the story now just just you feel like the scales are imbalanced though sometimes when it comes to writing no not even that we had a recent thing we were in the studio we just we this album we're doing it in two goes we went and wrote it uh and tracked everything except the drums and the vocals and then next time we're going back to track the drums and do all the vocals um me and tom i'm kind of throwing people under the bus here i might edit this out i don't know um me and tom obviously did

a lot of work before that first session we did fucking shitloads um and then the session, you know, because it's just the music. It is not that many of us doing the actual music. And then I wanted to go home early. Because I was like, guys, I've been here for fucking ages. I don't know my shit. It was like they got to track and bass. And then there was like a vibe where people were like, oh, why are you going?

And in my head, I didn't say anything out loud. I was just like, you motherfucker. I've done so much fucking work. You're going to make me shit for fucking leave me. I just left in the end. Yeah. I just fucking went. That's fair though.

I mean, it's, as long as you weren't just sitting there for like two weeks and you're like, kind of bored, and then I had out. I mean,

no, no, I was sat there for three days bored and I was like, I'm fucking go in. Fuck this shit. I don't know what am I going to do. Fucking,

I think you could slap the base there. Yeah, I can't produce any fucking bass. Uh, that sounds worse than it was. I can't, uh, do I want that in?

Yeah, just fucking even. Okay. Don't suppose you prepared a two truths and a lie for me, did you? Did you have that? I think I did actually. You did? Can we do that?

And then we can fucking dip. You can have a lovely day. I would love that. Hit me. I have not actually physically thrown up since I was 12 years old. When I was very young, my brother cut off all of my hair. And I was born with my two bottom baby teeth grown in when I came out of my mom's womb. These are all great because they're quite believable.

Can I ask you some questions about? the things of decipher the bottom teeth how long did it take for the rest to grow growing was it like you were just a toothy child i don't know when teeth come in i don't know when teeth come in i'm changing it we're going off that one i don't want to ask questions about that one yeah um what happened when you were 12 when you just stopped puking why is there like a definite moment of 12 years old i eat fast food that was bad and then it created a phobia in me of vomiting so now i do everything i can to avoid vomiting. What if you feel like you're vomiting,

like you're going to? You just don't do it. It doesn't happen, yeah. I think I've created a weird mental block about it. Do you get nauseous? Sometimes. Is this one a lie? No.

That was true. That's fucking interesting. You just haven't been six since you were 12. The gabber and me just wanted to go off on a tangent. I was like, it'll be so obvious. It's true if I keep talking about it. No, yeah, I had Carl's Jr., this place. Fuck, American.

can phosphates. Oh, horrible, horrible. And, uh, yeah, I just had a, I, like, I was with my dad and we were driving to see my, my grandma lives in, or at the time lived in this area called Lake Elsinore. It's just this horrible place. People go to die. Um, it's like an hour and a half away from Orange County. And it's a horrible drive. And, uh, yeah, I got, um, food. We ate it the night before. And I mean, I just, I was in the backseat and can hold it. And I just vomited all over the backseat in my dad's car. And yeah, God, boy. And he cleaned it up. It was funny. I brought it up to him before he died. And he's like, I don't remember that. I was like, that's amazing.

But it's a fucking root memory. Yeah. But now do you think you avoid fast food? So you've got less or it's just a, maybe you just got a special bacteria from it. No, it's stomach. You know what the funny thing is is that my idiot 12 year old brain was like, that meat was bad. So the meat made me sick. So if I don't eat meat anymore, I won't deal with that. And so I avoided meat for like eight or nine years after that. Like, I was a vegetarian at, like, 12 because I was like... It was that. You know what?

It was the fucking lettuce. I know. Or the guy went to the bathroom and didn't wash his hands and then made my burgers. Like, so many things could have... Wendy's, Taco Bell, both of those. Wendy's have had food poisoning twice. Now they're out. Taco Bell once.

It's out. I've had Taco Bell food poisoning once. I've had it a few times since then. Wait, did you puke, though? No puking. I didn't know. Just the other end, yeah. That's the weird thing is I've had...

That's good for your voice. no no fucking pew i guess so my uh i was i was gonna say that's that's the funny thing is i you got a good set of teeth on you as well sorry i i appreciate um i uh you s smile thanks yeah i tried or no i've gotten food poisoning uh quite a few times since 12 and yeah it's just always always but always but do you get twice as much out the butt you reckon i don't know you don't have enough to gauge it on No, it's, I've had, I've had key moments, though, where it's been like, like, I have like stomach issues here and there. And I, uh, I didn't know what it was. I thought it was like an ulcer or something. I ended finding out I had this bacteria on my stomach called a HP Lori like a year ago. And man, I went and I, I just, I hit this pocket where it was just like anything I was eating. I was getting really bloated full kind of nauseous and like not really eating that much. And I, I went and got, I was so sad. I went and got brunch with our. our producer, Dan and his wife, and then my kid's mom, and brunch was great. And then I was just kind of like, feeling super full. And then they were like, there's a show, the whiskey, like,

spite is playing. Do you want to go see it? And I was like, fuck yeah. And then we went to the whiskey and got to drink next door. And I was like in the middle of drinking a white claw. And then I was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And I was, I was literally like on my knees in front of a toilet. Like, oh my, like, there's always, I've had a few key moments like since 12. Or I'm like, oh my God, it's over. Like, I'm going to throw up. And then it just doesn't Maybe it's the bacteria. Maybe you do have you with some iron stomach shit. I don't know.

I took pills to get rid of the bacteria, thankfully. So I'm chilling now. But it is weird. There's just been these like really close moments like it's about to happen. And then it doesn't. And while I hope to God it doesn't happen on this talk as we've talked about it. Okay. What was your other ones?

When you were young, your brother shaved all your hair off. That's got to be either. It's got to be a lie because it's. I love that you had to investigate because I thought the whole point of it was just off first sounds it's like that's bullshit i mean really it is but like i don't know how the game it's your podcast i'm trying to figure out what's entertaining i feel like that one's a lie because i feel like i gave you the two truths and a lie really really short like notice and you just had to come up with one it's totally

a lie yeah because it's too fucking boring yeah because the other one what was the other one i was born my bottom teeth grown in yeah it's too just too specific i googled uh good uh two truths and a lie nice that was one like there was other dumb ones like like I don't like ice cream. Yeah, no. So I don't know when, Simon, I'm going to put you to work.

When does a baby's teeth grow in? Get on that Google machine. I think my daughter's top two came in at like six or seven months or something. Yeah, four or seven months. So you were just rocking around four months with two teeth. Yeah, it was weird.

They had like a home video and my mom like pulled my lips down. I just had these like two little teeth growing up. Like a little... Her poor breasts. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I didn't even think of that gnashing down on it.

You know what? She wasn't a very good mom, so fuck her. Oh, really? Yeah. My mom had a drug problem when I was younger, and it's caused a big strain on our relationship. I'm sorry to hear that. That's a whole other fucking podcast.

I'm totally kidding. It's, we're like... Doesn't sound like you kidding. It doesn't fucking that way. Yeah. No, I don't... Our relationship is not great because she's kind of like a lunatic now, but... Was she with your dad, when he doesn't?

Right. Well, she just wasn't there. She just wasn't there at all. Oh, well, they get divorced when I was like six because she had a drug problem. Oh, Brian, you've had a fucking rough run. What? It's okay. Who's had an easy run, you know?

Me. Honestly, you're really well-rounded, like funny, likable, fucking talented dude. And you've had a shitty fucking card, though. I appreciate it. I think it's just music. I don't know. I just, you know, you find, like, I found really sad shit to listen. to like Lincoln Park or fucking stained, you know, and just just grew up on it. And I was like,

oh, it was like a nice escape when my mom was like acting like a psycho. And then, uh, and then it came in a weird full circle thing. Because I feel like now like we get to do it on the other side, kind of. So, um, yeah, thanks, man. I don't know. I feel like, I really do feel like getting to write about all the stuff I've been through kind of makes it like you get to like put your pain away kind of. Did, uh, having a daughter change? your outlook on life. Yeah, it definitely was,

um, yeah, less egocentric, I don't think I was, I was ever like, like, you're the singer, you're the singer in a fucking band,

bro. It lives in you. Oh, I hate it though. It's just, it doesn't mean you don't have it. It's just, uh,

I'm, I'm quite like introverted and my life is very simple and kind of playing when I'm not on tour. I just kind of hang out with my daughter all the time. But, um, it was interesting because my, my daughter was,

I mean, I'm not hopping back into a dead dad thing, but my... Dip your toe in. Yeah, yeah. We're going to end in a minute. Dip your toe back in. It was just an interesting point to be at because my daughter was hanging out in the room with us in hospice when my dad was dying. And so it was just kind of like really dark.

My dad is like about to die a day or two away. I'm like, I think I was 33 or 23 or 32 when it happened. And then like... And then my daughter is like seven months. old and it was just kind of this very like weird like like you're at the start I'm in the middle and that guy's at the end and so it kind of but it kind of just sort of created this like I think even before that moment you just kind of realize that you're like your life isn't your own after you have a kid it's just like everything I do now is just it like how does that change you or impact

you and I think especially like because of how my mom was as a parent it even at a very young age. I was like, I'm never like, it was almost to spite her in a weird way. Like, I'm going to be like a great fucking dad because you drop the ball massively. But, um, it's awesome. It's so, it's so challenging. It's so hard sometimes. And I, I want to just put my head through all. Not actually. It's just, uh, you could have said way worse stuff there. So you went with it. It's just like, it's like, I'll call her an asshole. But it's not like, she's not. It's a fucking child. Yeah. But it's just because it's because she's, um, it's because she's three and She doesn't understand.

Again, it's exactly like my dog. Yeah. I'm sorry, I guess we'll leave it there. Simon, what are we on? One hour 40. Perfect. That's a podcast. That's great.

Thank you so much, man. Should we shake on it? Yeah, let's fucking go. Is that clocks and colors? You got some clocks and color shit going on? Oh, and the other one? This is clocks and colors. This is actually my dad.

Let me see. Yeah, you want to see. Let me see. I'm a jewelry guy. I'm a magpie guy. So it's like a black coal, like, background setting. there's like gold flakes and then the gray bits are my dad's ashes wow wow yeah this woman does um holy shit if this ever happens for i mean i mean if you want to bring the dog into the mix again

uh i'll go kill someone to get one of those it's for anybody yeah she is a yeah she has a yeah she has a shop online i think her name is uh ashley lisano jewelry so shout out to her she uh she does it for um pet remains and human remains so a lot of people will do it for their their dogs or their cats are their cats and that's fucking sick yeah it's cool i think this is it seems more focused in like feminine jewelry but this is kind of like one of her more masculine ones yeah it was just uh yeah it's a cool way to like i always wear it when i play so i feel like my dad's kind of you know right there when i when i got to sing that's fucking cute and we're gonna end it there thanks guys thank you rory rodriguez track out day seeker i'm like a radio guy um their new uh album replica is out and it's

very nice goodbye