The Downbeat - SATANS HOTLINE #1

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

Answering your calls! To leave a message on the hotline go to www.thedownbe.at/podcast

I know what you're thinking. This is new. This is exciting. Or this is shit. Because it doesn't say there's a guest. And I paid... Did you pay for a guest? There's no guest, right?

But actually, in many ways, the guest is going to be you. This is an idea... I would like to say that I came up with by myself. But in fact, I think I stole it from other podcasts. And I thought, that's a good idea. I'll do that on mine, but better. that's how I do most things. Just steal an idea and then make it a little bit better.

That's evolution though, isn't it? Darwin, baby. If you don't believe in evolution, not sure this is the podcast for you. Okay, here is why I did it. I'll be honest with you, here's why I did it and here's what it is. I depend on the Patreon. Okay. It's a pound a month.

I'm not going to flog it to you now. but with touring sort of being up in the air I kind of depend on it now it's got to a point where it's actually like okay that's my income so the other thing I do is I depend on having another guest with high quality equipment

and given there's a pandemic still I can't even fucking talk rare given there's still a pandemic I can't really I'm running at people so I need to start doing it and people are dropping off the Patreon and like, oh, I can't afford a pound a month, which is fine.

But I think it's more like, I can't afford a pound a month because you're only doing two episodes a month for the moment. That's not worth a quid. It probably is worth a quid, if we're honest. But, okay, so I've got new ideas. I set up a little phone line. I set up a little phone line. You go to www. www.the-downb-b-a-t.

So it spells downbeat, and then you go to the hotline page. I think it's on the podcast page. And you can leave me a little voice note. And what we're going to do, we're going to read. Read? We're going to listen. to some of your calls, which I haven't listened to any of them, so some of them might be shit. And then we're going to have a little discussion about them.

I've requested stories. I'll just basically say, do anything, do whatever you want. So come in. I've got a new little theme tune for it, so we won't have the downbeat theme tune to separate it from the Satan's hotline, I like to call it. I am Satan, your dark lord. The dark renlord. I'll do a quick plug. If you want a t-shirt with like a gorilla deadlifting

with the word blast beats on it, again, the same website, buy yourself a t-shirt. Or don't. I don't care that much. I'm just bored, guys. I didn't sleep well last night. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to make some content.

Okay, right, new theme tune. You ready? You ready? If you're watching this on YouTube, you can see me. If you're listening to this like normal podcast, you can't see me, but you're both going to hear, hopefully, I mean, if you can't hear, I'm sorry for you, probably shouldn't be watching this,

because most of it's going to depend on the ears. Anyway, here's the little theme tune. It's Satan's hotline on the Downbeat podcast. Do I give you the real theme tune as well? Should we just do it? Should we do both? I don't know what I'm doing. Nah, let's not bother.

Okay, let's go. What I've done here is, I've deleted the ones that are under like 15 seconds because that's just going to be someone going or you're a wanker but there's quite a few that are like a minute minute and a half

you know we can go for a few of these there's one right which is in three parts one minute 20 each part I reckon we're going to end on that because I feel like the person DM me and said is this going to be not safe for work if I do this and I insist

I don't know what the story is, but I insisted they do all the messages. Because they messaged me saying there was a one minute, 20 limit. And I said, just do more. So we're going to end on that. We're going to start. Let's start on some, like, quiet. Well, this one's anonymous, so this would be quite good. This would be like, you're a prick.

The reason I'm not doing this live, guys, this isn't on Twitch. Usually we're on Twitch. com. It's because I haven't listened to these. I want a genuine reaction. Some of them could be naughty words. I mean naughtier than fuck shit, cunt. I mean real bad shit.

So I imagine if we just click on one and it's immediately that. You ready? Let's go. This is from Anonymous, which makes me think this one's going to be a bit of hate. Let's go. Hi, Craig. Apologies in advance for my voice. Sorry, architect for the down and quote cold.

So my throat is double fucks up. If anyone doesn't understand that accent. Sorry in advance about. my voice. I saw architects the other day and I caught a cold. You caught cold? Or did you catch COVID?

Let's be honest. Give me. Thanks Craig. Love you. Some kisses at the end. That got a bit dark. Give me some dating advice, which is nice.

And then they said because it's got a bit hopeless. Now that's a bit... Here's my advice, right? I'll do this, nip this in a bag. I don't have your name. Anonymous.

Hopeless Anonymous. Number one, join the downbeat Discord, right? Because if you're a fucking mental person and you listen to this podcast, there's other people there. There's about 1,500 people in there. Bound to be a fit bloke or girl in there for you or they. You know, get in there. Number one, plug over.

Number two, and here's my personal advice, right? This is coming from someone who is, I've been divorced. I've been married. I've been divorced. I've been single. I've been Polly. Right? Here's my genuine advice is

get the person you get with make sure they've got an only fan. Now I don't mean genuinely make sure they've got an only fan, but in my experience, right, is fucking awesome. Because if you don't know, if you're my mum and dad listening to this or whatever, this is going to be a bit of a surprise.

If you don't know, if you live in a cardboard box or you're an old person, OnlyFans is basically a porn website from anywhere from softcore porn to hardcore, absolute debauchery. And what it is is people make content on there and they sell it. It could vary from just like, oh, here's a bit of my bum, not whole, to here's me absolutely fucking drilling myself or whatever, you know, you get the point.

Anyway, longevity-wise, right, if you think about it this way, I'm not saying that everyone needs an only fan's or whatever, and I'm sure there's some people that disagree with pornography, etc., stuff like that. God, we went in on number one, didn't we? You know that anyone who has had a relationship or enjoys sex, this is excluding the...

This is assuming anonymous is not asexual. you know that sex that you have on your birthday maybe the first two birthdays out of a relationship I have a long-term relationship that sex you have on your birthday where they wear something nice for you or they let you do something nice right that you have once every 365 days

for about two years and then it doesn't happen anymore but dating something. someone who's got an only fan is like having that three to four times a week. It's like your birthday three times a week. Okay, that's my advice. Join the Discord and get with someone with OnlyFans. Terrible advice, but you didn't ask me for real advice, really, did you? We wanted it to be funny.

As well as it being funny, hopefully, it was actually accurate. Anyway, next, I'm going to go to some newer ones. Two weeks ago from Luke. Ready? Oh, you've got to help me, mate. You've got to help me. What the fuck? I hope this isn't like a guy that's like trapped somewhere. This is two weeks ago. He's long dead.

I suffer from death grip syndrome. I can't come. Are these all going to be sexy? What sort of a climate have I created? I suffer from death grips syndrome and I can't come. I can't come. Please help me. I really, really, really need you help.

I've never been able to come from vaginal sex, oral sex. I only beat my meat and that's the only way. I can, you know, please help me. I'm desperate. Fucking hell. I don't know if that's a joke. Because it's an Australian accent. It's hard to tell when they're joking because they're almost always joking.

but he did go into detail and say these are all going to be sexy aren't they he couldn't have it from vaginal or oral sex and he beats his meat and obviously it works sounds like you might be gay like if pussies aren't making you come

maybe dicks are going to make you come try it yourself swap swap shop swap teams for a minute Luke could say a full name, but if that's real, I don't really want to.

Let's do another short one, and then we'll deep dive on some of these longer ones. Ready? I'm not going to say his name yet again, in case it's something mental. Bumstuff guy again. Oh, that's a follow-up. And his first word was bum-stuff guy again.

This is absolutely X-rated behavior. Okay, one short one, and then we're going to go to Bumstuff guy. Fuck me. What do you guys think of me? You're absolutely correct, but what do you think of me? Cameron Coggin. Full name, full email address.

This can't be naughty, surely. Hi. So, listening to your podcast, it's like 1130 over here, in Colorado, USA. Colorado, lovely part of the world, South Park. South Park from Colorado. I was just curious, like, I wanted to buy one of your cool beanie. How would I get it shipped to my location?

That's something that annoys me quite a lot. Cameron. I don't know if people do this so they get a response. Now, I'm not saying I'm big enough for somebody to want, notice me, some pie shit. But I've always shipped internationally. When you go on the website and you put it in your basket, it gives you the shipping to your thing.

because I'm only seeing shipping for I guess the UK in Europe and whatnot so you're talking shit Cameron yeah kind of a dumb question but it's fucking dumb I appreciate that you want a fucking beanie two months ago

I fucking let's find out if you figured it out I'm going to go to the orders right now live and I'm not going to edit this out because I can't be bothered I can't be bothered to pay an editor shout out Simon one day I'll pay you more than I already do

Cameron Coggin He did not figure it out He has not bought a beanie Is this a gross misuse of power Am I allowed to do that Just go through I guess I am I own the business

Anyway if you'd like to Completely destroy me Based on GPRD Or whatever it's called rules Then get in touch with a local lawyer Anyway Cameron Yes Downbeat stuff

You're all going to think that was an advert me and Cameron are in cahoots and I sent him a beanie for free. No, it ships worldwide. And in fact, so many people got annoyed at the cost after Brexit of having to pay more. But if you order from outside the UK, it's actually your order, your price of the product is cheaper to counteract the tax that you have to pay. I take the hit for you. And nobody knows. 40 seconds, then we're going to bum stuff, guy.

please don't be. Did I ask for sexy stuff? Hey there, Craig, or should I say Satan? We like the quality already, Pete Carparelli. What microphone have you got? I just wanted to say I'm a big fan of your show. Good. Love the videos that you put up on YouTube,

dissecting, playing technique, how drums sound, natty or not. You're absolutely fucking hilarious, man. This guy's, I paid this guy, me and Pete go way back just to just to fucking hype me up a bit and uh hope to uh have you pick apart my playing one day once i get my kit back up and get my chops back going i Pete you have my word because now you're on the podcast Pete Carparelli you're on the podcast and you're on the YouTube that you asked about I'm gonna fucking rip you to shreds do a video I hope to

be ruthlessly critiqued and given excellent excellent pointers on you such as your yourself an awesome drummer. My name's Pete from Chicago. Again, Craig, downbeat rules. Everything you do has been really great, especially watching during the pandemic. And I hope to chat to you soon, bud. Do you know what? That's really nice. I was having a terrible day. Look at that. Because this is in video, you can see my natural smile. I was actually having a terrible day, and I thought this might make me feel better. And Pete directly made me feel incredible there. one nice guy Chicago as well

you got a vapiano's right they're not everywhere in America you got I think there's a Nando's in Chicago which if you're in the UK you're like big deal Nandoes

but if you've been in America for like two months eating fucking deep dish pizzas also Chicago sometimes you want a little Nando's Chicago's got one what else you got that diner

what's the diner in Chicago It's the famous one. I got food poison in there once. Me and Tom. And then I had to not actually play the show. Connor from Beartooth had to fill in for me because I was puking my fucking brains out backstage. Anyway, Peter, we like that.

Anyway, let's go to Bumstuff guy. Where is he? I can't wait for this three-parter. We're going to fucking end on that. I hope it's good. I hope it's not like six minutes of somebody just saying, basically I'm going to flay you. I'm going to skin you.

Greg, Greg, you're going to be skinned and flayed. I'm going to wear you. And then I'm going to use your face ID on your phone because your face is on my face. And I'm going to get your cryptos and I'm going to spend. Hopefully that doesn't happen. Bum fun guy. Where were you, Bum, Bum Guy? What was his name?

Jack Davis. Let's go. Well, Jeff just fucking said his name. He put his full name and his email address. I'm really sorry if you don't want this public. information out there. So a bit of context. I work in a hospital.

Work there about five years. I work in operating theaters. Oh, it's going to be good. It's going to be good. I hope he doesn't lose his job. But it's going to be good. He works. It sounds like he's actually at work and he has to get this in right now.

Like, basically I work in hospitals. I work in operating theaters. In the East Midlands. And one weekend we were, well, I was covering an emergency shift. I've got to translate this a little bit, East Midlands accent. One weekend I was covering an emergency shift. In emergency theatres. Maybe been in theatres a handful of times at this point.

He's only been in theatres a handful of times. Not movie theatres, Americans, because you love to say that. In theatre is now. He means the operating theatre. Lives are at stake. Shut up. Stop. eating

Oreos and wearing Mickey Mouse merch How weird is that? That's the first things that I thought of when America I didn't think of Eagles Mickey Mouse and Oreos I sort of like really knew really just starting the career

and I don't know what this is a funny story or a gross story or I've just found an outlet to express my trauma but trauma

I started walking to a magistrate's one night and I'm greeted by three surgeons all stood around a patient, legs are kimbo. Legs of kimbo. I don't know if that's a worldwide term. That means spread legs.

He went to the emergency theatre, third or fourth time there. Three surgeons stood around someone like that. Please be a guy, though. I don't want to hear something horrible about some birthing situation. In stirrups, they have cervical spreaders. either side of his butthole. Cervical spreaders which made me think identifies, oh, it wouldn't

even be, well, a can of worms. Cervical spreaders made me think woman, and then he said his butthole. So at the very least here we're working with identifies as a man. And one surgeon is like elbow deep inside of him.

uh basically him and his girlfriend had got like really coaked up and like to stop him when his girlfriend got really coked up and stuck stuff his ass sounds like they were going to say that who would do that some hair wax up his bomb hair wax

wait him and his girlfriend had got like really coaked up and like stuck some hair wax up his bomb hair wax as in like styling product and like it was sort of like a square tub circle tub type thing and they put it in like

the big way like a whoa whoa whoa they put the tub in for a minute there I was thinking lube they used hair wax as lube and I was like oh where's this going they put a tub of hair wax I wish I had one

I'm at my hair cutting ages plug I suppose like a plug in a drain and uh yeah so basically if a patient stick something up their bomb you have to take it out and clean it and give it to them, which is what I did. Gave it back to him when he was awake.

He was quite forthcoming about the whole thing, and a month later, almost to the day, he came back with the same top off his ass. Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm fucking fully mind-blown. He went, he got a paraphrase,

he was in the emergency room with a tub of hair product up his ass my man Jack here had to fucking dive in delve in with his waders on like he's carp fishing get this thing out give it to him when he's compas mentus and then he came back a month later with the exact same little jar i imagine up his fucking ass. I've got follow-up here. I, we've got to do this every month, surely. Bomstuff guy again.

What up, Jack? That's not a name I want for myself. Anyway, I actually have many bomb stuff stories. Mainly, mainly, all hospital related. It's all very juicy. I was just following up saying, I got more of these. Let me get, let me tell you, Jack.

Jack's Bum stuff operating theater stories. Can we make that a constant, a constant theme on Satan's hotline, which I'm now hoping, given it this has absolutely cheered me the fuck up, that I'm now hoping this is going to be something that we keep on the podcast, because I don't know about you,

but I'm having a lovely time. We don't want to do the triple threat yet. I don't want to do that threeer. How's about... That was close. How about... I've got someone pretending to be Josh Middleton here. Nice.

Josh from Architects is not him, obviously. This is from Josh Middleton. Sir Shreds a lot at Gmail.com. I would hypothesise this might be... Let's find out what they're saying first. Oh, hello, Craig. I'm a wonderful fan of the... down beat. Oh, and I really hope

that you play my voicemail on your live show. Sometimes I like to, you know, I like to watch you blast beat whilst I peat off. Oh no, did I say that out loud? Lots to take in there. I would hazard a guess that I

probably know who that is. One time, when Josh was filling in for architects before he joined architects when he was still in psilosis when he was filling in when Tim left so it was Tom Searle and Josh were the guitarists and they

asked Josh to join and he said no because he was just going to they were still doing silosis um they made and I think maybe it was actually me because it does sort of sound like the sort of bullying that I would instigate or maybe

Tom. We made a fake Josh Middleton Twitter that was called Joss Middleton. And we would just tweet stuff like, oh man, can't wait for the new Dragon Force solo to come out and shit like that. And we pretty relentlessly bullied him.

So I would Signs point to architects, but then the accent at the end, initially, because Sam's really good at voices, I thought that might be Sam. But then the end is definitely not Sam. It was, I beat it off. Did I say that out loud?

That's not Sam's voice. Whoever you are, it's funny. I'll give you it. Who else we got? Someone claiming to be Ed Sheeran. Ready? I'm in love with the shape of poo. No, not funny.

I'm afraid. Not even going to play the other 21 seconds. You're out. Got another one. Luke Gallows. Hey, dude. I've been sick lately. I had sinusitis and the doctor gave me some antibiotics.

I'm wondering if this is going to become a joke or he's just genuinely just saying I've been sick. If you've been sick, Luke, it's two months ago now. Hopefully you're over it. I'm pretty sure I've seen you on my Instagram, so maybe you are over it. I've been shitting like, I've just been pissing shit out by bomb.

And, yeah, I just want to know. Do you know the recognition? me with the antibiotics, so just let the sinus just kill me. I'm not a doctor, Luke. I know what you're saying. You know, don't talk yourself down, Dr. Reynolds. You are a fantastic medical doctor. I'm not.

However, as you can hear from my nasly tone, I often suffer from sinusitis. Really badly, my nose is absolutely fucked. Nothing to do with hair wax, though. Basically, get one of those... So this doesn't happen again. Get one of those, like, saline rinses. This is a fucking boring podcast material, wasn't it?

Get one of those saline rinses, and you scush it up your nose before bed because I've got mad allergies. And since I started doing that, I haven't really had a cold other than the time I got COVID, and I didn't bring my fucking nose thing with me to America. and I've not a tiniitis since. There you go.

And always carry on a course of antibiotics because otherwise, antibiotics, antibiotics. Always carry on or else you create super strains. And we hate a super strain here, don't we?

Reese! All right, Craig. I've pointed my life when I started to hate everyone and really fucking me off. Have you ever come across this? How have you dealt with it in the past? He's a little bit Scottish, I think. Peace.

I've got to re-replay it because I think he just said I hate everyone. All right Craig. I've pointed my life when I'm starting to hate everyone. I'm at a point in my life when I'm starting to hate everyone. I've been really fucking me off.

Really fucking me off. Have you ever come across this? How have you dealt with it in the past? Peace. well Reese let me tell you about me and hating absolutely every single person on planet fucking earth

it's a thing I think it's very look at me being trying to be serious after all the bum fun stuff I think it's pretty it's pretty much a given right now if you're on social media

you are going to hate at least 50% of the people because at the moment with every topic everyone either has a staunch opinion here on one end of the spectrum a staunch opinion on the other end of the spectrum or the oh so holier than now people in the middle

who claim to be able to see both sides fuck those people in the middle number one those people in the middle don't have the problem I hating everyone the people on either side of the spectrum at least they've got there, obviously sometimes you're going to disagree with most of their views on the other side.

At least they've got the bollocks to say it, haven't they? But in this world, if you have an opinion currently on anything, you are force-fed other people's opinions of the opposite way. It's even the way that the algorithm works on YouTube, negative comments, negative videos you would disagree with get more negative. so I get more engagement because people comment,

you know, it's the same thing as like if you ate at a restaurant you enjoyed it, you're X amount likely to leave a review. But if you didn't enjoy it, you're like a hundred times more likely to leave a review. The same with negative stuff. So what the algorithm does deliberately shows you stuff to piss you off, to try and get you to engage with it. It's a horrible cycle. It makes you hate everyone.

You don't want to be the person in the middle that has no opinions. but what I can say is that the best way of deal with it is to just fucking go with the flow don't disregard your opinions but just have the sort of outlook like fucking none of this matters

really does it when I see something and it's something I'm really really gets my blood pressure up and I really want to disagree with it or retweet it or anything these days I'm just like does anything really matter

ruin a fucking diet absolutely all of us. My advice, keep the close-knit circle of people that you do like super close and just fucking ignore everyone else. Just don't even get involved with it. And take real deep breaths through your nose, if it fucking works properly, when you're in like a line for something

and someone in front of who's been really slow because that is when you could end up murdering someone from my experience anyway. Okay. Albin. Oh, Craigaboy. Is that a real accent? I'm excited.

I'm from the great country of Sweden. Yeah. Swedish Viking. I could do a bit, a little bit of British. Maybe Australia am I? And, hey, this how it is. From Sweden, little British accent. But I'm talking Swinglish.

I have a question for you, okay? How old were you when you lost your virginity? That's what I want to know. Have a good one, Mike. Shee's. I fucking love it. Yeah, she's sounding more Danish than Swedish. Obviously, I'm not denying that he's Swedish.

I love a Swedish-Danish accent. Right at the end, he said something that just like, because I was like, the whole way for us like, is this guy really Swedish? Viginity. Viginity. The way he says it sounds like it's a fucking sofa at IKEA. Oh, have you got the three-seer in the virginity?

That's what I want to know. Have a good one, Mike. And then he shouts at me. Um The answer for that is far too young I'll actually tell you this story It's fucking mental Oh I can't

Because technically Technically it involves kids But I was the kid I'm not going to touch this one I was the kid It was with another kid Oh fuck This is real bad

Let's talk about someone else Um I wasn't I was never Nothing happened to me I was too young The other person was also too young At the same time, same age

Cleared that up Next, I'm sorry for not answering that But I very nearly lost my career Volcanov Hello, my name, Volcanov Not a real voice You're not getting it, Nat If we give these people air time

They're going to continue to do it We're trying to run a tight ship here Hi Greg America A fan from Canada. Canada, fuck. I used to listen to your podcast a lot, but... I used to...

Oh, is this going to be the guy? Is this going to be the guy? Fallen off a bit. I bought a lot of your gear, and it has cost me hundreds of dollars. All right. And shipping, which is unbelievable, but that's not your fault. Are we going to have this every time? You obviously bought it a while ago, as I said.

I've reduced you pay a lower premium to counteract. I would love you, Josh. I appreciate you, obviously. I really do. You've fallen off on the podcast, though, so will you even hear this? You want to look at your whole basket total and compare that to buying at home. Anyway, just call it to say that I don't really like certain aspects of what you're doing because... Oh, yeah!

You'll talk about cancel culture and you get really wrapped up in it and you'll come from this place of moral superiority and it doesn't allow the conversation to get to a point where you can talk about forgiveness and growth. Isn't this funny how we already didn't like this guy before he said the thing that we don't like him for? Isn't that an odd parallel? And then we all know that you've been through a lot of mental health problems as well and no one wants to see you hurting. I really like straight from the past albums.

I love your drumming. As a drummer myself, I think you're dope. But it's a, I don't like when you take this moral high horse and you act like you know every nuance of every every subject of everyone's canceling of all these

controversial figures who have I said deserves to be cancelled that this person doesn't like that this person does like who do we reckon because it just doesn't open up the possibility for someone to be

redeemed it's as I lay dying I'll put my fucking flat on it so I'm hoping going forward you maybe consider that a little bit and just consider the fact that everyone's a human and I think everyone deserves a chance to maybe start again. Anyway,

I honestly think it's amazing how we got off on the wrong foot immediately. I'm not disagreeing with what he says. It kind of ties him with what I said earlier. Like, if you've got your own opinions on something, definitely still have your own opinions. The problem with me is I have a platform. and then I put my opinions out there.

I think, what do you say again? Let's get this. Hope you have a good day. Do you hope I have a good day? I don't think you do. You'll talk about cancel culture. Talk about cancel culture. Right, which I do talk about a lot because I do think there is a line.

I actually more do is a joke because I've kind of realized now with everyone, Lambese is trying to kill his wife. He's fine now. He's not cancer, all these playing gigs. Louis C.K. wanking at women. He's back, right? I'm now pretty certain.

The only thing you can get truly cancelled for, actually cancelled, and I mean that means you don't get an article in a newspaper because that's more coverage than anyone else gets, is actually killing someone, which even then, VARG, he's not technically cancelled, quite a lot of people

that have killed people aren't cancelled or tried to I think the only thing you can truly be cancelled for is banging kids and rightfully so so Josh

if you're saying I should open up the discussion to paedophiles I'm not going to do it mate if you're saying I should if we're talking about forgiveness that one nah

however the if we are talking about Tim Lambeises and I'm pretty sure we are if anyone who doesn't know Tim Lambises hired a hitman to kill his wife, it went wrong he served two years in jail

and then he got out and some people don't agree that he should be playing, living the life he led before he did that and some people think he should be forgiven my whole stance if you'd fallen off with the pocket If you hadn't have fallen off with the podcast, Josh,

I know I'm being, I don't hate you, Josh. I'm just doing a funny thing so that people laugh at it. If you hadn't have fallen off, you'd probably hear that I actually want to get Tim Lambesis on the podcast. I can't think who else you could be talking about. He's the only one that I have pretty strong opinions of. The only one that's in any way ambiguous in that. you know, society's forgiving him

and yet some people with platforms haven't. I would love to have him on the podcast and I would love to actually talk about because as far as I'm aware, he hasn't done it because his defence was the steroids, right? If he

came on the podcast and he told me the compounds that he was using, I have friends who I have witnessed go absolutely fucking bat shit crazy. from certain steroid compounds. And then you have other ones

where people that are on testosterone replacing therapy, trans men like they're taking them and they're not going out and they're trying to kill their wife. So if I've got first-hand experience with, not myself,

but seeing people go absolutely back shit crazy on these certain steroids, if he came out and said, this was the one I was on and it was the same one that my mate was on, I personally would have more of a degree of forgiveness than I currently do. I hope that answers your question. I hope you don't take anything I said personally.

Sometimes the people who don't like the talk about cancel culture and they don't like cancel culture. Sometimes those people can be a bit sensitive. I guess we're just going to end on Carter Bradley. Let's make it a good one. Hey Craig, I don't know how often you check these, but I just want to tell you, you're the fucking man. You hear that, Josh? Like, just seeing you talk about drums really just makes me want to get off my ass, my lazy ass and go.

I mean, that's surprising because I fucking hate drums. Honestly, it's stressed me the fuck out. Don't even get paid for them. Rubbish. Play, like, how you play. Terribly. Listen to your podcast. has really just sparked a whole new interest in drums for me

and becoming a better player. Isn't that weird? Because I think that I don't talk about drums and I fucking hate them and I do the art a disservice. Yet Carter Bradley here from somewhere in America or Canada, I'm guessing. Hear that, Tamer, Minil, Evans, Vic Firth. Next time I ask for free shit. Just the amount of insight I've gained from you

and the people they've had on your podcast like Will Putney, Brennan Murphy, all those cool dudes. It just made me pretty much fall in love with that whole kind of aspect of music. Yeah, dude, you're really an inspiration to me. And I know it sounds like I'm sucking your dick right now, but I mean, you literally are one of the coolest dudes and drums I know. Oh, this feels bad to be listening to this on the thing because it's so nice.

I don't know if you ever get this man, but just, yeah, dude, like, I've never really had somebody that I look up to in the drum community, and I'm not really even shitting you, like, when it comes to that, like, yeah, sure, I love all my favorite bands and everything like that, but there's not really a drummer out there who's, like, a personality, like you are, man, and I just want to say, I love what you do, keep it up, and I'm going to be probably, you know, following you until the day I die. So, yeah.

What a fucking legend. That makes me, honestly, it made me like, get a little bit emotional there. Carter. What a fucking legend. I'm glad that this stuff helps people

or it makes them like drums because I thought it would make people hate drums. And that's awesome. But we can't end on that. I mean, we got Carter for life. And we, Josh, who we lost earlier,

We add him for a bit, so actually we're still up. Let's say we add, if I've got out of a hundred, 100 is fan for life. We add Josh up to 50% maybe, but then Carter says he's going to be for 100, so we've actually up 50. So I think we can't end on a positive one. We need to end on someone who doesn't like me.

It's got to be easy to do. No, I could tell that one wasn't going to be funny. Hey Craig, this is Justice. I'm a 19-year-old drummer and guitarist from Texas. Unbelievable name. Justice. What up? I'm currently delivering sandwiches until 3 in the morning, and I wanted to ask you, I'm planning on dropping out of college because I hate it and working on mixing, mastering, and producing and all that fun stuff. And I wanted to know your opinion on that. But you may give your opinion, and I probably won't listen.

I would just like to hear you say what I want you to say, and if you don't, I probably will ignore it. Like everyone else on earth, at least you can admit that. Everyone asks for an opinion from anyone, and all they want is the reaffirmation. You want to reaffirm what they already want. so I'll tell you I'm listening to your podcast

while I work and it makes me want to die just a little bit less I thought it's just going to say it makes me want to die and I was going to write that's it we're done justice um

19 what are you doing at college we don't know that um to do mixing and mastering my thing I wouldn't pay money to do that so if you're thinking of dropping out to go do it somewhere else

you can learn everything on the internet um To be honest with you, I fully, if you don't want to do college and you're 19, don't fucking do it and just do it later on. Some of the most successful, well-rounded, lovely people I know, not saying everyone should drop out of college. I didn't drop out of college. I saw it through, but I did do music. Easy. George Schmidt dropped out of college to be in a band.

He's literally just done his PhD maybe, or so he's done something for. fucking crazy now. He's just, just graduated now at whatever, 30. So you can always come back and do that. I always think they should just make you not do college for like five years after school.

Because then you actually want to do it. I could go to college now. I'm not going to. But I could go and do something mad that just interests me. I could go do fucking Egypt. Can you do that? Egypt degree? But I reckon with my old brain now,

I'd be like, actually I'm into that. I'd learn about it. I'd write about the sarcophagus. Do the draw the period? I don't know what you would do in an Egypt thing. Anyway, you get my point. If you want to drop out, drop out. But if you're going to do it, don't drop out

and then just party like a monster. Drop out and work at mixing and mastering as if it was your college. As if it was your job. Do it fucking 10 hours a day. Anyway, come on, I want one negative one. I agree. We've done him, because I remember his dulcet tones.

I think we're done. I don't think... Nah, we've got the other ones. I'd like to thank everyone for, you know, being a part of it. I'd like to thank... I could do with some more negative ones, if I'm honest. I couldn't. My fragile ego can't take it.

Everyone said something nice. Thank you very much. Even Josh said something nice. really, didn't he? He didn't actually. But, you know, he wasn't being mean. I'll just act as if he was being mean. Which, if I know Josh, he's going to take very well.

And it's going to be fine. And I hope maybe if we were talking about the same thing that it has cleared up my opinion on it. That was cool. If you want to submit a little voice note, it's super easy to do it. You can do it on your phone. you go to www. the downb-e

dot a t-slash you just go to that bit first and then you buy a t-shirt from the purgatory section you can get those of cool shit then you go to the podcast section and you go to Satan's hotline and leave me a message

and you click on that and then you can leave the voice message on your phone. It's completely anonymous if you want it to be if it's a short message I'm probably not going to listen to it if it's something offensive it will be cut out

because I don't do this live so just questions um philosophical shit Egypt shit maybe apparently I like that now

that was awesome I hope everyone had a lovely time you want to play out with the downbeat theme because we didn't actually have it