The Downbeat - The Callous Daoboys

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

My guests on the podcast this week are Carson Pace and Matthew Hague of The Callous Daoboys. We talk about their absolutely mental band, how they write, touring, movies and a bunch more. Catch them on tour with See You Space Cowboy this summer!

Hello everyone. I hope you're all doing good. Welcome back to another episode of the Downbeat. My guests this week are Carson and Marty from the Callas Dauboys. I had to be really, I had to really pronounce that because I keep accidentally saying the Dallas Cowboys, which is obviously the pun on the name. If you don't know the band, they are a nuts blend of like Dillinger Escape Plan meets a Mike Patton project, kind of like the Dundra Escape Plan EP with Mike Patton, except they've got a violin,

they've got saxophone, interesting instrumentation. We talk about how they write their nutty music. Carson is the singer, Marty is the drummer. I caught them that evening at the attic in Glasgow, and it was unbelievable, such a great show. Really, really love this band. You can catch them on tour right now. If you're listening to this on the day it comes out,

You can catch them with CUSpace Cowboy and I Murta on the weirdest math core tour of the summer. Check it out. www. Thecalistowboys.com. Before we get started, we have a Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash the downbeat on it. You can get these episodes without any ads. You can get early access to the episodes.

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downbeat. Check it out. It's Carson and Marty of the callous thou boys on the downbeat podcast. I'm going to drink more coffee so I'll be funny. This is the coffee indicative of humor. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm just self-conscious that I'm not going to be funny. So I drink more coffee. They're offsets. Oh, I see. Me too. I don't talk too much. I'm on my third of the day. Let's go. My little dow boys! Hello. Hello. I thought I'd come in as wacky as you guys.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you can try, for sure. You want to introduce yourselves on what you do in the band first. I'm Marty. I play drums in the callistow boys. I'm Carson. I sing in the callousal boys. Fuck, yeah.

I'm Craig. These people will call me Craig. And this is my podcast. Craig. Craig? Yeah. I can, I can take Craig. No, no, no.

It's Craig to you guys. It doesn't matter. Craig. All right. Gotcha. You came in. I just want to. I just want to say it because no one's ever done it.

Two guests. Everyone always comes in around the outside. Uh-huh. And this is the sort of out-the-box thinking that you're going to get from Calistow Boys. He went in this way. It seemed more efficient to me. It's going all the way. There's another chair here.

Why? I don't know why I've never seen it done. I mean, it's progressive. Sure. But it's getting the point across. Like you got there. It's boundary pushing. Yeah.

For sure. For sure. Yeah. The envelope pushed. The envelope. Consider it pushed. Before we. push the envelope further. Let's talk about

my eyebrows. Yeah, they're crazy, man. Let's get into it. You're fucking hot, dude. Oh, buddy. The feeling is neutral. I knew this was going to come up, yeah. I mean, it comes up immediately. Yeah. Usually, drummers ain't that hot. Sorry, guys.

I mean, we're a rough-looking bunch for the most part, I think. And then, like, you're on tour. Yeah. Yeah. What's the upkeep? What's the upkeep on those brows on tour? Oh, it's hard. You do them this morning? No. My girlfriend is my eyebrow technician. So, you know, right before I leave, she gives me the whole wax down, gets me looking

right, sends me off in a proper fashion. You do take care of yourself very well on tour, though, I will say. I try to. I do my best. It's very admirable, because I don't want to. My personality sucks. So I got to keep the appearance looking good, you know? Yeah, me too, bro.

That's why I do it. Yeah, I mean, you're not on a bus tour. You're on a van tour. We're on a van tour, yeah. Yeah. We've never done a bus tour, actually. Really? No, never.

How many times we've been to the UK? This is our third time. Yeah, third time. Yeah. You're coming up on bus hours now. I hope so, man. We did that entire Tessaract tour in like a van with bunks and it was really, really tough. It was brutal.

Which one? Which one? A little gray one with no window. It was a little black one. Yeah. Six little coffin bunks in the back? Yeah, real, real small. Toilet or no toilet?

No toilet. I know exactly the one. Oh, yeah. That is rough. No heat either. Heater didn't work. It was like January to February, six weeks. Did you have a man that looked like he was from Spirit Away driving you?

I mean, Connor might as well look like that. Oh, was it Connor? Yeah. It was Connor. Are we just insulting your van right now? Oh, it's not his van. It's not his van. We won't say whose fan it is, though.

Let's just go. It's jump straight in on download yesterday. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. How was it? Dream come true. I mean, truthfully, like, you know, I think I've seen videos of Lincoln Park playing download from like 2000 or something

like that and, you know, just like watched stuff like that religiously. So to be playing it with my band was really, really nuts. Yeah, we played, I think, the smallest stage, but like they were still, I don't know, it was so full. Dog tooth? Yeah. Dog tooth, yeah. What time?

545? Great slot. In a 10 while it was it raining outside? I think it started raining more after we played. Yeah. But regardless, it was full. And people were there too mosh. I'll tell you what,

that just for about every song, we had a pretty crazy pit. Friday's kind of the best day, if you want a mosh crowd. Yeah, everyone's fresh. No one's tired yet. Let me just fuck myself up. I'm feeling myself.

I'm not covered in mud yet. And there's so much mud for how much they mosh, too. I can't imagine. I was impressed with how much moshing was going on despite the mud. I've been going to download. It's got to be,

I reckon I went to my first download in 2003. Whoa. Wow. So, yeah, I'm old. And I think maybe I can think of about four that weren't raining.

Who was playing in 2003? Slip not. Pretty fucking, no. It wouldn't be 2003. It'd be 2005. It was 2005. Okay. Might even be 2006.

Either way. I can tell you, because I remember I was there. First band on the Snickers stage, which was the smallest stage then, right? That's awesome. Was a little band that I'd never heard of on their tour for an album called from Mars to Sirius called Gojira. No way. They opened it. No sure.

And my friend was like, oh, you've got to come watch this band. And I was like, oh, that means Godzilla. Like, oh, cool, because I fucking love Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. And then they opened with remembrance because that was back. in the day when I didn't have like a massive fucking breakdown and I was just like it's the best thing I've ever seen in my fucking life.

Yeah, no. We're big Gujarra fans. Yeah. And I think Slipknot had just released Volume 3. So whatever year it was. That's peak Slipknot. Peak Slipknot volume 3. That's got to be like 05.

I think I want to say. Because then the neck, what happened later was the best thing. I mean, not the best thing. Lars Ulrich. Metallica were playing, obviously. Sure. shout out to Lars.

Right there. My Lord and Savior Lars Ulrich had hurt himself. Pretty sure he hurt his nose. Oh, I see. And he had to cancel the show. Really? And I saw Metallica play with Dave Lombardo

and Joey D'Orison. Oh, my God. It was fucking crazy. We saw Dave Lombardo yesterday. Misfits? No, he was playing with Mr. Bungle. It was cool. I think he's on tour with Misfits as well.

right now. Is he really? Yeah. That's crazy. How was Bungle? Uh, badass. So cool. I thought you were going to say like, no. You were like, no, I mean, gosh, it's tough because like, you know, they have three albums that, like, influenced our music so, so much. And for the past couple of years that they've been back playing shows, they're not playing, like, any of it except for one song. Wait, are we talking self-title, California, disco. Disco. Lante. Yeah. They're playing one song off of those. They're playing my asses on fire from the South title.

They're playing their like demo EP from high school that they re-recorded with Scott Ian and Dave Lombardo, which is cool. But like, and they're doing a bunch of covers to like weave in and out of them. It's still a great show. Why aren't you playing Squeeze Me Macaroni? I know. What the fuck. It's tough. I mean, like, he's Mike Padden.

He can do whatever he wants. but like, you know, the reason I've like put off seeing them since they've been back is because of the set list. So yesterday when we went, you know, I knew they were playing my asses on fire and I knew they were covering True by Spandaubley. So I was like, well, I have to see this. And even though I was watching them play like these songs that I don't really care about, it was still such an amazing show. It was still so cool that I was like, ah, man, yeah, this is like one of my favorite bands. still, like, regardless of what they're playing, it's just amazing to watch. Yeah, Mike Patton is probably the coolest guy ever. He had coolie old braids. Yeah, he's, he's,

he's right up your boy's street. Yeah, I love him to death, man. He's the, he's the coolest guy in the world. Did they have a whole section? They did not, they did not. I guess they didn't need it if I didn't play any of that stuff. No, I mean, my theory is that they will eventually have to. I don't know how long they can tour off of these songs, but I also don't know if they need to keep touring. I don't know. They're all pretty old. Doing it for fun. It's a weird... I mean, I would love to see it to just say I'd seen it because by the time... I got into Mr. Bungle pretty early, but then by that point, it was just, it was done. Yeah. I got into them because of a YouTube compilation that was top 10

weirdest bands of all time. And now look at you. And now here we are. Can you remember what else was on the compilation? Compilation? Buthole surfers, for sure. Uh, Guar. Um, um, Gosh. I'm trying to remember if there were any that I got into because of that. I think in the honor, Dillinger was in the honorable mentions, but I was into them by then. Melt banana. You ever fuck with that man? I love melt banana. I don't think they were in there. Of course you fucking do. I think maybe Mersbow was another one that was on there that I got into because I was like, oh, cool. No one else wants to listen to this. I will listen to this. I don't think I've ever told this story on the podcast. I think it's illegal.

Right, but it's the thing I used to do. So before this apartment, I lived in another apartment. Like you do. Yeah, you know, classic. Yeah. And might see, you had a coffee, funny. Carson's with us now. And my next door neighbor had a sound bar that was like connected to the wall and the walls were really thin.

And he was deaf. And it was just so, so, so fucking loud. And I went around to try and get him to stop. And he said he wasn't going to stop basically. sure and I was like the fuck am I gonna do here because it's insane like how loudly listened to it and I was trying to sell that apartment at the time

and it was like people coming around and like no thanks because there's a man watching the fucking game show he just watched game shows all day the sound bar Craig like maxed out was he actually deaf or it's just like he was very hard of hearing I saw him and I was like okay I can fuck with this guy it's not like I'm fucking

I'm a old old guy that's sure sure really a bad person anyway I researched got to the point where I research how to hack a soundbar. And basically, it's this thing, right, where you get an app on your computer, and you basically spam the Bluetooth. And you spam the Bluetooth.

There's, like, one thing that you put as your phone's name or whatever, and then you just spam it, and eventually you break through and you connect. And once you connected, unless he disconnects, you're connected. So I fucking did it. It took me like nine and a half hour. hours and I did it and I got in and every time his TV was too loud I put woodpecker number one by

my god and Craig you are a professional hater I can fuck with you I've got video I've got videos on it of it were on my TikTok I made him hidden in case it was illegal but I'll put one up there for the for the podcast you could hear him screaming in annoyance but I'd go around to knock on the doors be like let's just fucking talk about this like whatever yeah it then got to the point where uh every time it was too loud. It would be, it was either Richard by son, if you know that song,

it literally is just a bass that goes, bha, or it was Merz-Bow, and then eventually I started getting real dark with it. It was like male orgasm noises and stuff like that. I was just going really fucking, real fucking hard on it. And then what I did was change the name of my phone

to move your TV. So when I connect, it would come up saying move your TV. then eventually he did move it. He got the picture. But he moved it to a different wall. I changed the name of my phone to try again. And kept, and kept, I'm fucking, I swear on my fucking life, this is 100% too.

God damn, Craig. And then I kept playing Mertzboe, and then he moved it to the other side. And then I sold the flat. That's awesome. Professional hater. Job well done. Holy shit. I tried to go around.

I tried to fucking. You think that's illegal? Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, so, I don't. know if this falls under the same category. The restaurant I used to work at still uses my Spotify. Yeah. And I use Apple Music, so I, like, I don't really care. But, like, they were paying for my

Spotify account. Okay. And whenever I, like, pull up Spotify for whatever reason and see that they're streaming something, I will queue up something horrifying to play in the restaurant next. What sort of songs? Uh, some Waking the Cadaver, maybe. Waking the Cadaver has been in there before for sure. When I worked there to get people to leave, I used to play Your Love by the Outfield on a loop. I don't know that. Josie's on a vacation far away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's less aggressive than Wage from a Cadammer.

It's less annoying. But if it's over and over, people get annoyed by it. I'm trying to remember what the last one was. Rock and roll McDonald's. Oh, that was a big one of mine as well. Soundbar got Robert Mall from McDonald's a lot. Yeah, for sure. I'm trying to think.

We have that as our changeover music. Oh, that's awesome. I don't know if we have anything particularly heinous in our changeover. Unicorns on ketamine. Yeah, the unicorns on ketamine stuff is pretty crazy. It's an electronic artist that just makes like nearly unlistenable hard style.

Just before Mertsboe, unlistenable. It's like on the brink of Euro trash and Mersbao. Oh, nice. It's awesome. Yeah. Like a hyperpop, Mersbo. Bell kind of. Yeah, but it's funny to like for me to queue up like Gojira at the restaurant or like, what kind of restaurant is it? It's a, it's like a fast, casual, like kind of a alternative to five guys,

if you, if you will. Oh, they can have a bit of waking the cadaver as a treat. You're right. They can have it as a treat. Some gravity blasts with a smash burger. Oh, Arksfire. I've put Arkspire on there before. That's the main thing. That's when you tell them, you're welcome. Yeah. Yeah. You're fucking band. Amazing band. Oh, my God. Two patties. If that's happening,

I'm getting a fucking bigger burger. Oh, yeah, yeah. We played a festival with our expired last year. They were like the coolest band in the world. They're funny on stage as well. Hilarious. That's all I care about.

Just be funny. I had the best time watching their drummer's side stage. He's just gravity blast the whole time. He's a fucking freak. He's awesome. Did you learn to gravity blast because of that? I learned a gravity blast because of waking the cadaver. Not to keep talking about them.

I mean, it's a waking the cadaver podcast now. Yeah, yeah. New Jersey zone. The side of the rim one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it in your song? Not yet. Not yet.

We'll work it in. I don't know. I've been trying to work in like an egregious fill for a while and it's like eight years in and every time I go in the record. I'm like, what about this feel? Everyone just goes, no. Because it's, I feel like we're very much the same here, which leads me on to a question. Yeah. What do you think it is about like, like all the bands we've just mentioned?

Yeah. What do you think it is about like the want to make some. thing so left field and obscure. Like, I've got it in me, and I can tell you've got it. Like, is it... Why? First of all, I appreciate the, like, you coming at it from a similar perspective, because every time an interviewer asks me this question,

it's always like, what's the writing process? Like, I'm like, the same as every other band. I don't know, man. I think that just, like, the drive to make music that like no one has ever made before is like, and what I mean by that is like, I don't even really mean good music, you know what I mean?

No, yeah, that's why we're mentioning bands that are quite bad sometimes. And we're like, yeah, that band is sick. They rock. Sometimes they, you know,

miss the mark and they, and, you know, making something interesting is like more important to me than making something that's like, good, I guess. I'm fully fucking agree.

Yeah, like, I think that pushing the envelope, like, eventually it leads you somewhere of like, oh, this is like accidentally a hit. You know what I mean? Where, you know, I just, I write music with another person who you know, actually Tom Lovejoy, who was in the band Vatican. Yeah. I write music with him a lot because we have a little project that we're starting. And he's like so about it being like tight and like no breaks. And, like, you know. And, you. Yeah, I mean, like, I mean, he's an amazing songwriter, but like, the way I do things is, like, so focused in on, like, just like two seconds that only I'm interested in. And, like, that's what I'm writing the song for is I'm writing it because I want to hear it. I'm writing it because I'm making a Mr. Bungle song that they never made. You know what I mean? And he's so talented. And he's like, he's like, stop. Like, we have to make it tighter. It has to be two and a half minutes. Like, you know, but that's not. And you're like, no, I need to get to those two jazz chords. So I can go. Exactly. So I can go, yeah, mama. And then we're into the break down. And then we're right back into the fucking happen. Exactly.

Yeah. I feel like we're kindred spirits. I love that. We are, this stray album is written, right? We've tracked everything except the drums and the vocals. I'm going back to do it next month. Sure.

Currently, and in the studio, everyone lets me do like, I'm a little fucking ADHD boy. I'm like, what if you did this, boy? It's like, I think I'm like you. I'm like, yeah, we need to do this here. And Will Putney is like, you can talk to Will Putney about Mr. Bungle. You can talk to him about weird shit. Of course.

He listens to music all day long. He wants something fucking wacky. So me and Will made a fucking literal like 50s jazz break. Like fucking smoking a cigarette. You're a detective smoking a cigarette. It's my favorite type of music. With a horn section, with everything. and then we were like, okay, this is sick.

And it had like this weird swing thing before it, like a fucking... It literally sounded like Mr. Bungle. And everyone's on board or whatever. And then we leave the studio. And it's the thing I'm most fucking stoked about. Sure. And then the group chat starts going on. I don't think I really want to do that one.

And then what if it was a secret track? And then it's like, what if it's a secret track on vinyl? And I'm like, guys, this is my favorite bit of the album. Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. So I'm trying to shoehorn it in somewhere, much like your guys in music, like there'll be a bit that just comes out of fucking nowhere, completely different genre. Yeah. To me, it's the coolest fucking bit of the song.

Thank you. No, and I think that like, thank you, thank you. I think that like some people lob that as like a criticism at us of like we can't stay on something for more than enough time. And it, it does like bother me hearing that. it does like sometimes get in my head. But then when I'm making something, I'm like, nah, this is awesome. This fucking rocks.

I don't care what you think at all. I literally could not give a shit. So I mean, like, that's the, that's the coolest part is like, we're in an age of music where if you open up a doll, you can literally do whatever the hell you want.

Use it. Why would you not use it? It's awesome. You can write a heavy, boring, normal breakdown song and add some breaks. and go, what the fuck shall I put in here? Just, but, well, like, we got, I feel like it's coming back.

This is why, like, I'm still in the group chat, and I'm like, guys, I think it's the time. Because you got, obviously, yourselves, I'm going to exclude yourselves because you've always been fucking wacky. Yeah. But you got the not-loose regaton breakdown. You've got speed using a fucking flute.

That shit is awesome. So sick. That's all the rocks. And then shit like that is now popping off. where everyone's like because the kids who are like who maybe got into music

five years ago the kids that are like fucking 20 or 18 to 20 the musical pool as like popular music has been pretty fucking generic

yeah so like the first time they hear something like that they're like what? I don't think I didn't think you could do that it's the 100 Gex effect man

yeah it's like you know they're the biggest thing in like you know it's slightly underground pop music

I mean, and bring me, is kind of doing it too, where it's like they're just doing whatever comes to mind. And there's so many kids that are just down for it. And I see it at our shows, too. Like, you know, the kids that are into like hyper pop and, you know, that kind of music and stuff like that, they come to our shows and they get it. Those are the kids that get it. Those are the kids that are making music for, you know? Yeah. You know, I also think the internet has kind of broken down these genre barriers, whereas maybe when we were a kid, if you liked,

punk, you couldn't like metal. If you liked hardcore, you couldn't like techno or, you know, something like Tronic. But now, you know, with the ubiquity of the internet, it's cool to mash all these things up and just see what comes out of it, you know? Yeah. I found a, just you mentioning that, it reminded me, I found a time capsule I made in seventh grade where it, there was like what kind of music I liked and it was just new metal. Nothing else. Even new metal, though. Corn, bagpipes. Crazy band.

Always my favorite fucking song. Oh, what? That's fucking different. Give it to me. Oh, it's unlistenable? Need it. Slip not a kazoo on duality. Or not duality on Iowa.

You know what I mean? Wait, what's the kazoo in? I think it's on people equal shit. Yeah, that's a kaz, bam, bam, the band, ban, ban, ban, but ban, the band, ban, that. Yeah, that's a kazoo. It's like edited. Yeah. No, fucking, you know what?

I think I'm going to ruin your lives, okay? You know what? I've recently realized on, um, on duality. You can hear the click at the start. Oh. I don't know why it took me this fucking long. But like I was listening to it the other day and I was like, I think it was fresh in my head

because of not Lucid just put it in on purpose. Again, sick. Just do fucking do you did it back on Felon too. Yeah. Just leave it in. I was listening to Duality and I was like, I can hear the clicks right at the start. I push my finger.

It's real fucking quiet. Damn. I'm never going to hear that. It's got to be a Rick Rubin's fault, right? I think he did that record. Do you know what? Ruben's fault. All of it.

Do you know what I think? I know. I think he'd love you guys. I love him. It's my dream to make a record with him. He is the man. I think it was more, knowing the Slipknot guys,

they are so technophobic right now. Really? I mean, in general, but like back then, they would have been even more. So I think they probably did the same as Metallica, which is just a handhold, an SM7 in front.

of the monitors to track vocals, which is kind of cool, but it's probably a bit of bleed coming from there. That's what I do for demos. You can hear the click on all of our demos. I mean, it's fine. Yeah, it's kind of cool. Who do you work with as a producer now? We work with my very good friend, Dom Maduri, who was like kind of in the engineering space until recently, and he's working on a bunch of records right now, just absolutely killing it. He, up his mixing game like crazy and now he's probably the best mix engineer i know he do the latest singles the ep yeah well so he is that an ep or singles because spotify fucking lies to me we call it an epe but it's kind of cheating because it was like it's three songs and two of them came out

before the epi release yeah your your discography is fucked it is no it for sure i like it it's fucking the same as the music uh ep today uh single single single single single EP EP EP EPE record. Well, I was trying to, so all three of those songs are a little long, which like some of our songs do kind of border on long in general. But like all three of those songs were kind of long. And I was like, yeah, I don't know if like releasing this as like one single and then all three of them come out is like, I was like, I want to try and like kind of play the singles game to see if we're that kind of band.

And it sort of worked. I don't know. I don't know. It worked for what it was. We got a lot of mileage out of that EP. But Dom didn't actually, just to give credit, where credits do, Dom didn't actually mix those songs.

Hunter Young, who's in Mood Ring and Psychoframe, mixed those three songs. Great bands. He's in both of those bands. He's in both of those bands. He's in both of those bands. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow. What fucking genius, dude. Psycho frame. The Psychoframe is so good. Wild band, Waking the Cadaver feature. Yeah. all comes back. But it's like,

I don't know, it's more listenable than Waking the Cadabra. There's a mix that I can enjoy. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Beaten by beyond identification. That's exactly what he does. I think those are the lyrics. Yeah, exactly. Same thing. Yeah. I could do that.

Hunter Young and Brandon Lopez mix those songs. Which is interesting because they are definitely like a different mix. Definitely. We just wanted to try something different for that go around.

They mix and master all that stuff as well. And I just love the way their record sounded. And we just wanted to try it for one time. Yeah, we wanted to see what the callous Dowboys would sound like as a modern kind of band, you know. Yeah. And now I want to go back to being scrunky. Yeah.

I didn't want to say it. Yeah. I prefer. And not let it's bad mix. Yeah. Yeah. I remember being like, oh, this is like. It's polished.

Yeah. This is like digital. Well, we're going back to being scrunky. Okay. Not as bad at all, but like, I feel like when you bring in, you got, like, how you like that production's never seen a fucking violin before yeah yeah no definitely and that was that was pretty tough as brandon was it was mixing it and he was like he's like the violin isn't tuned i was like well not perfectly like it's it's a frontless instrument yeah he was like all right

i'm going to have to get somebody to help me with this and i was like okay cool man go for i did the same thing i engineered a record uh this if you don't know this band therefore i don't know how are you feel about like prog metal depends on what it is okay so this is like devon townsend kind of our guitar player would yeah our our guitar player loves that not totally my thing so there's this band from the UK called XERath so X E R A T-A-A-H start with the next I think fuck yeah fuck yeah awesome I think they were the most underrated metal band in the UK and they split up and but they did three albums and it's like I mean I guess even more than Devin Townsend it's sounds like, remember, you know the band Extreme? Sure. Like, it sounds like, more than words.

Yeah. It sounds like if Extreme was like actually extreme. All right, I'm in. So actually, like they're all fucking insane shredders. Yeah. The record I engineered the drums for, they put a, a, a, Simon cut that out. Um, no, leave it in now. It's funny. Um, they put a full orchestra for the whole record and Jesus. They, they, they, they, fucking took so long to mix it was crazy for the same thing it was just like the end the guy that was mixing it was just like there's frequencies here i don't know what to do with yeah yeah for sure and then actually i'd a fallout with the fucking with the band because the mix engineer messaged me like because i'd edited the drums as well and it was like there's insane

mistakes on these edits and all this stuff i was like no there's not i know what i'm doing and he was like yeah this and played it back to me it's all out of phase or whatever and we had this big argument and I was like that's not me whatever and it ends up because the orchestra they recorded all the orchestra without the music right yeah and then they'd recorded the orchestra and so on its own just to like click and they recorded it one bpm off oh my and what they'd done is just on the band had time stretched fucking 16 channels of drums they'd be like oh this will work and then i got the fucking i got grilled for it but anyway there's a roundabout way of getting back to like, it's really difficult to record these real instruments.

And kudos to you guys for not having, like, obviously you've got synths, but like, yeah, yeah. It's a real violin. Yeah. It's a real fucking saxophone. Is there an instrument that you'd love to utilize, but you haven't yet? Flute, probably. I think the flute is like a really, really cool instrument.

We're going to have trumpet and trombone on the, on the new record. I talked to somebody about that the other day. So it should be interesting. just for one song. We're not going to become a ska band. See, I got like a, sometimes I could fuck with Scar. I like Streetlight Manifesto.

That's a good band. Like some scar, I'm not gonna, I'm fucking putting it on, but sometimes if someone is like, there's a bit of scar and I'm like, that's kind of nice. I'm like weird for weird.

Yeah. Like I'm fucking fully in. And flute is, that's a prog staple. Fucking hocus, pocus. Yeah. Focus.

Didn't we almost cover that song? I think so. Yeah. We almost covered. Who was going to do the flute? Probably. I guess we'd hand the flute to Amber. Maybe.

Yeah, she'll pick it up real quick. You should cover that song. I think it'd be cool. It'd be fun. We covered a Glassjaw song a couple times last year. That was like the most. Well, it is very cool to us. I mean, it's cool.

It's cool, but it's not weird. Sorry, my brain is now just like, do weird shit. I want a weird glass jar song. I want a white noise album. That's why noise. Sure, I can do that. What was the Glass Draw song? Black Nurse.

I'm not big glass draw. I don't know any of them. Really? I think it's a UK thing. Were they not big over here? I want to say they weren't or maybe when they were. I was like, oh, I'm a death metal.

I was a death metal. In America, Glassjaw is like radio head to us. Yeah. We're like, this is the coolest band in the world. Yeah, that's the rest of Australia as well. And I'm like, I don't care. Well, they're from New York. They're from Long Island.

Yeah. They're Long Island legends. That is God to them. What do you think? a Long Island. The place? The place. Honestly, because none Australia live there anymore, I've barely been there. Seaport Delhi. That's all I remember.

Yeah, nice. Amityville Music Hall. Great venue. Yeah, we play there. Our, like, entire team is Long Island. Really? And also, we have, like, a bunch of friends there. Crypto Dera's Long Island. Crypto Dera are the fucking best. Oh, my God, dude. What a band.

What a band and what a bunch of fucking guys. I love them so much. New York, I, Talib. Those are my Italians for sure. They're so fucking weird and like just perfect kindred fucking me and Tom when Tom managed Cryptodirah I jumped in for a while as well. Oh, that's awesome. Because I was like like we were just talking about off camera.

Sometimes I fucking hate music. Yeah. And this was like the first band I heard. I was like, this band's really fucking good. Yeah, dude. Yeah. And that was a time where I was like, maybe I can't get into managing. And then I realized I can't get into managing.

I don't know how to do that. When we toured with them, I was just thankful every night that we went before them. Like it was just like they, because they ripped every single night. I mean, Scott being able to like play those parts and sing at the same time. And then Mike being probably the best guitar player I've ever met my life other than Tom Lovejoy. I fucking love Mike. And their drummer, Matt, is unbelievable. Plays the craziest setup.

Such a fucking prog guy set up with that hydraulic high hat. It's, oh, it's nuts. It's like a band made just for me. Yeah. And me. And me. Exactly the same. We are the fucking time.

Yeah. No, for sure. I just did a podcast with. Mike, because he has that, The Juice? The Juice. What movie did you go out for? I hit him up and I was like, let me be on The Juice.

And he was like, I wasn't even going to ask you. I was like, I just want to fucking be on it. Dude. I love that. I was on the Juice. Yeah. What did you do on the Juice? If anyone doesn't know, let's preface it.

Mike Monaco from Cryptodera has, Monaco is that a second name? Monaco, I think. Monaco, stage name. Yeah. He has a podcast called The Juice where he just talks to people about their favorite movie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What did you do? I did Darren Aeronovsky's The Fountain. Great fucking movie. Oh, I'm so glad you said that. I love that fucking movie. Dude, everyone I talk to hates that movie. They're like, oh, it's a mess. It's too, like, disjointed. And then I think he made the comparison on the podcast. He was like, people called it a mess. People called it disjointed. Not unlike your band. Yeah. It's like, hell yeah. It's awesome. It makes me cry. I mean, a lot of shit makes me cry, but the fountain makes me cry like a baby.

Dude, I have to watch it alone. I can't show it to people because I just get like too, like, ugh, gosh, what a good movie. What'd you go on for? Oh, boy. Oh, let's go.

What a fucked movie. It's quite a fucking, I thought about it afterwards. It's like, it's really quite a bad look. But it's my favorite, it's my favorite movie all time. Dude, that 10 minute fight scene in the hallway? Fucking incredible.

One shot all the way down the same. So sick. The fucking hammer. The twist. It was real rough, though, because we were, like, gassing it up for ages. I was like, yeah, I just watched the last night. I would do the episode tomorrow. And then I was like, how the fuck are we going to not ruin the twist?

Right, yeah. So I think we did. He hasn't released it, but I think we got away with it. Because in my opinion, it's the best twist in movie history for me. Dude, for sure. Yeah. Especially because I didn't, I watched it. I've watched it with a few people and they got the twist early.

And then they were like, yeah, that was good. That was an eight. And I think because I'm a fucking done idiot. And I got the twist at the time. I was like, that's the best thing I've ever seen in my fucking life. We'll get off movie talk because I feel like now knowing we have similar taste in movies, we could probably do just this for an hour. Yeah.

What do you think of the twist of at the end of Book of Eli? I've never seen it. Oh. Dude. Denzel Washington Post Apocalyptic? No, never seen it. Oh, dude. You'll love it.

It's awesome. Well, I'll put it on my list. If I had to, like, rank best twists, that one's crazy. Let's get Martin on this. If you were doing a podcast of your favorite movie ever, what would it be? Mahalo and Drive. Oh, we're a fucking table for the fucking weirdos. Let's go.

I'm a huge, huge David Lynch fan. I got a big tattoo of him back here on my own. Oh, my good God. Show that to that camera. That's my dad right there. That's so sick. Yeah, man. I get fucking mixed up, but is Mahalian?

Holland Drive with fucking Bill fucking what's his name? No, that's Lost Highway. Lost Highway. My second favorite movie is Lost Highway. The fuck. My favorite scene in any movie ever is Lost Highway when he's at that fucking bar. And the guy's like, I'm in your house. Yeah.

Call me. The music is just like, um, um, it's so scary, man. What a terrifying movie. Fucking amazing. Wait, so, okay. So, Mulholland Drive. I've seen them all, but they fucking, they're such a head fuck,

they all move into war. So movie would know me Watts, where she's trying to be an actress and sound familiar. Yeah. Pass that, it's so hard to play into words. Yes.

Yeah. Justin Thoreau. Justin Thoreau. Oh, I remember. My king. Which movie has the fucking garbage witch? Oh, Mahal and Drive.

Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's a fucking other great lynch scene. Dude. Out of fucking nowhere. It's amazing. Terrifying. Yeah. The,

the jump scare, when she comes out from behind the dumpster? Oh my God. Getting chills thinking about it. I really could just talk about movies all day. I didn't mean to exclude you from the conversation. Oh no, that's fine.

That's not on you. That's on me. It's the coffee, man. Once I start going, we can't stop. We pulled it back. No one would have even noticed. But you drawn attention to that.

Who is in creative control of the artwork? The like the physical artwork? The general aesthetic of. Callis Albuelson. Yeah, that would be me. Yeah. What's going on in that big brain yours? It's fucking cool.

I love it. Everything even like the Spotify, fucking, what do they call those things? The canvas? The canvases. Yeah. The artwork. Thank you, man. It takes a while, I guess, but like I don't let us do anything without it coming to me first,

if that makes sense. Like, I try not to ever like shoehorn something or like get into self-parody almost, where it was like, well, what's something that we would do, you know? I don't really execute an idea until it, like, comes to me and I'm, like, stoked on it. I don't really know what's going on up there, man. I never know. It's great, though, because it ties in with the music, because I'm just like, thank you.

Thank you. I'm always like, oh, that's really cool. Not, I don't have, I don't have, literally suck you guys off under this table. But, like, you can start it right now. Everything is so fucking formulaic these days. Yeah, man. Trust me crazy. Love a wacky band.

There's been a whole, wacky is. positive, by the way. Oh, of course. There's been a hole in my heart. If you said goofy, I'd be worried. No, good. Yeah. There's been a hole in my musical heart since Dillinger escape plan.

Disappeared or dissipated or whatever. Whatever happened there. I didn't really get into the last one. The final Dillinger album. Dissociation. Yeah. But I think that was more, I didn't really give it a chance because by the time I got around to giving it a chance, they were announcing it was spreading up.

Yeah. Well, didn't they, it wasn't it like the same week, like the single dropped and then like five days later they announced they were breaking up. So I was like, well, I'm not going to put my effort into this if you're not. Yeah. But like every other thing that they did just fucking flawless. One of us is the killer is my favorite Dillinger album by far. It's where the jazz break idea came from. Absolutely.

That jazz break is fucking sick. And Billy Rimer's playing on that album is just not human. Yeah. Yeah. He is the guy, man. Generally not human though as well If I can brag on you for a second You and so we played

He is legend had like a holiday show that we played And Billy's band Thought Crimes was on it And the two of them He and Billy were in the back And just like instantly I mean Billy's such a nice sweet guy But like pretty instantly you were like Because he played on that last glass jaw record

Oh I didn't know that material control Yeah pretty instantly Surprise surprise I didn't know it pretty instantly Marty was like, hey, how do you play this song? And Billy,

like, grabbed two pillows as if they were, like, the kick and snare and showed him how to play it. And they just chopped it up for like a full hour.

And it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I had a weird experience with Billy. Really? Okay. Like a paranormal? Like he haunted you or something? Honestly,

he kind of. I don't know, what it was. We did a tour when he was in end and it was straight, supported by end,

someone else, I can't remember. And we got on really, really fucking well. I thought everything was good. Yeah, yeah. I took a video of him

and at the side of the stage and I was just like, imagine having to go on after this guy every night. Like obviously just gassing him up because he's fucking incredible. Sure. And the more I talk about this,

the more I'm like, am I the bad guy? And he, no, but this is weird. And this is when I was like, oh, actually I think he might just be weird.

But he screen recorded, because it was a story. He didn't repost it. He screen recorded it. Cut out the bit where I said, imagine playing after this. And then just posted on his story. Which is just weird.

That's just weird. That's just weird. And most people would just go, oh, that was weird. Oh, I had to fucking, I had to ask him. I don't know what it is. I don't know what's fucking.

wrong with me. Sure. I was like, fuck's up there. That was it. It was literally it. Billy very nicely told me my snare sounded bad. Yeah.

Okay, okay. So this is what I'm saying. Like, I don't know. I don't want to be the guy that's like, oh, everyone's autistic.

However, having said that, maybe. I don't want to speculate on. I don't want to spectrum speculate. Yeah. Spectrumate. Spectrumate.

I don't want a spectrum eight. Yeah. But after the interaction, and I was like, what's the deal there? And he was like, oh, I just saved it. And I,

this is me being on the fucking spectrum as well. I'm on the fucking Larry David spectrum. Sure. When it gets to like, oh, this is awkward, I should probably just leave this. I'm gonna find out what. Yeah,

you're gonna press further. So I was like, what's to deal with that? Like, that's kind of weird. And he was like, oh, I just saved the video and reposted it.

And then I went, you can't save other people's stories. So you're a screen recorder there. And I don't know why. Why the fuck am I doing that? This is a curb episode. Yeah. 100%.

And it was real fucking weird. And then we sort of just never spoke again after that. Oh, man. And then I'm in Tokyo. And I'm in a coffee shop. And the guy stood in front of me is Billy Rimer. Like, fucking three years later. And I was like,

what the fuck are you doing here? And then we like squashed it. It was weird. I think it was both of us just being fucking weirdos. Yeah. Like, why did I have to say? And you said it was the last day to tour? Yeah.

Ah, well, that's why. Everybody's tired. You know, everyone's exhausted, man. It's still weird. At the time, I speculated. He'd gone from Dillinger to being in a support band. Yeah. And he didn't want people to know he's in a support band.

But I should have just went, oh, that's quite sad. He's probably quite, you know, annoyed that. Yeah. Dillinger's ended. Instead, I went, what the fuck you doing that for? Couldn't leave it. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Nah, you're good, man.

Really? I definitely, as I started to regale that story, I was like, I'm, you know, the fucking Reddit, am I the asshole? Yeah, yeah. In my head is just, I'm the asshole. I think, I think, he's nice. He's very good at the drugs. He's a great guy.

He's a great dude. We get to see him next week. Yeah, I can't wait. Segway? Oh, yeah, I actually have that as a note, so thank you, though, Carson. He's playing for New Dillinger, old Dillinger. Yeah. New old Dillinger, yes.

And you guys are playing. Yes. We were playing two of the shows. Yes. I mean, that's fucking sick. It is still not real to me. Yeah, I can't believe it. Like, just because our name's on the poster,

like, I don't think I'm going to believe it until we're, like, loading in or sound checking. Maybe not even then. I don't know. Have they played a show yet? They played a festival in California. They played a festival, yeah. Did they play strictly calculating infinity on the EP?

They played, like, all the old songs, not the whole album in the EP, but they also played a bunch of weird covers. They covered like California Uber Alas. Yeah. With Jellio Biafra. Whoa. Whoa.

On stage. On stage. Yeah. No fucking way. Yeah. That's like two of my fucking childhood dream songs. It's awesome. Crazy mix.

Sick. Is a crazy mix. Jello's fucking sick. I met him before. For real? Oh, man. I feel like I'd have nothing to say to him. Similar to Mike Patton yesterday where I was like,

okay, all right. If I run into Mike Patton, I'll be really cool and I won't punish him. And then I, thought about it longer and I was like, I don't have shit to say to that guy. And then you didn't, which is got, I luckily, yeah, luckily I had one with Jello where it was like, it's fucking me talking about myself in this podcast too much. You didn't ask him about the band. Shut the fuck up.

Whose fucking logos out of mine? I'll do my fucking one. I used to work at the music distributor who absolutely fucked Jello after he left the Dead Kennedys and they rewrote all of the album credits as. written by the dead kennedys and not lyrics and words by him so they fucked him out of those royalties but i used to work there so i had an inn i was like hey i used to work at insert place here and he was like fuck those guy and we just had a big like chat because we knew all the same people so you had it in with him and he was fucking sick uh dillinger back to dundjah so they're not playing anything

that greg sang no no yeah because how can you well you can't it's quite but at the same time like I'm desperate to see Dermitri. If they mean me to do it, I will accept. You could fucking... It'll be tough and I don't really want to do it. You could do it. If they twist your own. I really, I really want to do it.

Yeah. Ben, if you're watching this, let's do prancer. Yeah, but you really could, though, because sometimes when I'm listening to you guys, like, I'm like, that's great. Well, only sometimes and only, to be honest, to be fair, only on the heavy parts. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't think my cleans sound like him very much.

But when I was like learning to scream, which I do not know what I'm doing at all. I was doing my fries. When I'm doing false cord, I primarily take influence from, no, I don't know any of that shit. I don't know what I'm doing. So I'm going to need that in a clip. I need that in a thing. Yeah, the way I learned was like I just would put milk lizard on

repeat and just scream along to it. And I eventually was like, oh, I can figure this out through like a process of like, I'd blow out my voice and then I'd be like, okay, I'll wait a week and then figure it out again. I did it to that song and then back to back by the chariot and just like eventually figured it out somewhere along the way. But no actual like, sa, sa, say, say. No. Do you do that?

Not until recently. Not until recently. I like had a meeting with. a vocal coach finally and like kind of figured out what I'm doing and was it her was it Melissa yes it was she's so nice this she's the sweetest person in the world and the nicest possible way like a tiny little witch not like a little angel from heaven no i don't mean like an ugly witch i mean like she looks like you know like real witch like yeah she's got stevie nicks witchy vibes yeah stevie nick's witch not like a fucking yeah and it's so funny i mean like the first thing

I said to her, I was like, I don't want to not sound like myself. And she was like, that's not what I'm trying to do at all. She's like, you're just going to know what you're doing and how to do it better. And this was the first tour after that meeting, literally one meeting with her that I've had and then just like some other exchanges back and forth, but like one full meeting that I've had with her. And like, this is the best I've felt vocally on tour. I've been sick basically this entire tour or two. But like when I get on stage, it's like everything clicks in. And it's just, I'm doing it without thinking about it. There's some people like, some people like dunk on it, but it's like the proof is in the fucking pudding. All these people who are like, yeah. I really struggled and then I went to her and now I don't struggle.

It's like, why you can be annoyed at that? Yeah, no. And I think that like the criticism, right, is that like everyone that goes to her like sounds the same. I just don't think that's true. Like Keith Buckley like has always sounded like himself. Yeah. Like you know where the divide is.

I'm sure Randy Blythe went to her. as well back in the day. Of course. Yeah. Yeah, all of those singers sound completely fucking different. And they sound like themselves, yeah. And I don't see them canceling shows. Mm-hmm. Well. You ever cancel a show?

Because my voice now, I think the only reason we've ever canceled shows is because of COVID. And we've never, we've never canceled a show while you're in the band. Since I've been in the band now. Is that because of you? Are you just the fucking driving force? Oh, I'm powering through. No matter what. Sweet fucking eyebrows.

The people have to see them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they fucking do. Yeah. Front and center. He has these. like heart-rimmed glasses. The heart-rimmed glasses with those eyebrows.

As if she's doing you up to look like this to then go on tour. I know. You're an idiot. No offense. You're fucking nuts. You're very confident. But Jesus Christ.

Hey, I'm going to make you look hot as fuck. We can go and be a rock star. See you in a month. Yeah. Fuck. Speaking of fucking front and center on the stage, how many members you got? You got six.

Six. Have you ever been to tonight's venue? It's small, isn't it? Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen six people on stage. It's only one more than most bands. It's fucking sick. We've seen onto a lot of stages.

It's only ever been a problem the last time we played Berlin. That was the only of the time we didn't fit on stage entirely. Maddie got smacked by Jackie's headstock. Yeah, Maddie head banged straight into a tuning peg during the very last song and it looked like a bomb went off on stage. A Warwick bass tuning peg too. So it's like that. fucking big and it just like,

blah. It made a really nice sound. I mean the Warwick, like, nice fucking, there's a nice woody note from that fucking, what do they call it? Let me get it.

Let me get the fucking joke. Through neck. Is that what's called? What's it called? Her head went through the neck. I think it's a bolt on neck, but that's okay. A bolt on Warwick?

I think. I thought they were, that whole thing was, I don't know. None of the people at this table are qualified. Any instrument that plugs in is none of my business. Yeah,

Yeah, the only thing I know about that base is that it's the mudvane bass. And our guitar player told me that. Yeah. And I was like, yes. We're doing that. We're fucking in. Are you, any of you got wacky, wacky insurance to matter? Like, obviously you've got the two wacky instruments, but like, wacky stage instrument, like a fucking weird guitar.

Or what's your drum kit looking like? I play a Gretch, a marquee kit. It's nothing crazy. Zilden symbols. Best of the best, if you ask me. You fucking know. You already know. But what size?

You haven't got anything wacky? I could see you with like a 28. I would love a 28. But now, you know, 15-inch hats, 20-inch crash, 20-inch crash, 21-inch ride. We've been trying to make the touring band think work for a few years.

We're too poor for cool gear. Yeah. Do you reckon you... I think I'm getting at more of like a production angle. Do you reckon as you get bigger because your music lends itself to like some production? I would love that, man. It's the goal.

Yeah. The next thing I want is visuals. That's what I mean. In your fucking brain, I can hear. Oh, there's stuff cooking up there, man. There's stuff cooking up there. I thought maybe we'd have it ready by this C-E space cowboy tour because there's a couple venues on that tour

that have, like, big LED walls behind them. And I just don't think I'm going to be able to pull it together. Too busy writing this new record. You want to click? Yes. We are. Everyone on here. Everyone on a click.

No. Only three of us on ears. Again, too poor. Yeah, we got to get on that. But is the set on a laptop? Yes. So it is start to finish, press play. Yeah, you can get visuals.

Don't fucking pull your fucking shit together. Dude, I'm trying. I'm writing a new record. You know what you do, though? You know what you do? Because I've always wanted to fucking do this. There's two things. And someone got there before me.

There's two things I always wanted to do. One, I wanted to go on stage to, in whatever band, this is Pre-Stray. I wanted to go on stage to the masked ball song from I. wide shot. Oh, you know, when he turns up and it's fucking

this podcast is going to be three hours long. Yes, I know. The thing Nick Nightingale is playing? Yeah. Which I recently learned

is a Gregorian chant backwards. Whoa. That's insane. That's why it sounds so sick. Of course it is. I love Kubrick. Just a Gregorian chant

reversed it and then played it up piano. And then played along with that. So get that on the next fucking album. We used to use an eyes wide shut clip as a as a transition in our set what was it the end where she's like we only have one thing left to do we're the fucking safe fuck literally that is what you would fucking use yeah love that movie

feel like that's in my top 10 we're going oh we are going on to movies in a minute i don't give a okay cool yeah no let's do it the other thing that i wanted to do so ghosted that before me i wanted to do that and then i saw ghost that back in the day i mean ghost used to come on word the other thing well no one knows who ghost is you could do it now yeah Jesus fucking Christ. Real small time, band. You're fine. The other thing I really wanted to do

was to just have the movie Begotten. Do you know that movie? I've seen Begotten. I have not seen Begotten. It is, apparently, it's an allegory for the birth of the universe. Yeah, it's a creation myth. Creation myth.

This guy, this motherfucker right here. Fuck, get rid of that girlfriend. This is, yeah, it's like creation or whatever. It's the Mertzboe of movies. Yeah. It is just, it's black and white, like super green. Silent film. Silent film.

I mean, again. It's like, it opens. It's in the woods, like 35 millimeter film black and white, and there's like a cabin. And then it's slowly like with those old like dissolve fades gets closer. And then it's in the room. And it's just this woman, I guess, disembaland. herself. It's supposed to be God. It's supposed to be God, but it's, yeah, it looks like it's, and it's just black and white

and creepy anyway. And I was always like, I want to play a show with that just fucking in the background. And then a band did it. I can't remember who it was. Might have been Venom Prison, which actually, I was in a band with the guitarist from Venom Prison, so I probably told him that. And then that's why they fucking, that's why they fucking stealing swag. Craig, have you seen that director of Begotten's other movie called Shadow of the Vampire. No. Oh, I've seen Shadow Vampire.

It stars John Malcovic and Willem Defoe. And John Malcovich, it's about... I'm in. Yeah, I know. It's about Nosferatu. John Malcovich is directing... I'm in. John Malcovich is directing Nosephiratu.

Willem de Fo plays him. But in the movie, Nosferatu is a real vampire. And nobody knows that except for John Malkovich. And it is insane. Like, actually good? It's awesome. Yeah, it's fantastic.

Shadow of the vampire. Oh, I'm fucking watching. that before your fucking show tonight so we can talk about it later. Hell yeah. I'm stoked for the Robert Eggers, Nosferrato. It comes out this year. It's happening? Yeah, it comes out on Christmas Day.

I'm not on social media. I'm out of the loop. You're fully out? Pretty much, yeah. I mean, the one thing I have is letterbox. Of course you fucking do. What was the tipping point before we go on the inevitable movie, you fucking rabbit hole? You know, I just, everyone's so mad all the time and so loud.

and I think that just like, you know, I was in the throes of writing this new record and I was just like, and also like seeing other bands roll stuff out, like, it's not so much like, oh, I'll never be that band or whatever, but it's like it does seep into what I'm doing because it's like, oh, what they're doing is working. Why are we not doing that? So like once I shut that off, and there was actually, funnily enough, a Lil Yati quote that stopped with me really hard where he was like, people are going to complain that your previous, that your new shit is not like your previous shit anyway, like no matter what you do. So just make whatever you want. And it was those two things of like getting rid of social media and him saying that. And I was like, oh, cool. If I get rid

of this, I'm just going to make exactly, exactly what I want. So it's partially like everyone just annoys me so much. And partially, I just want to make art and chill out. Nothing else really. matters to me. I don't really care about being funny on the internet. I can be funny on the downbeat podcast with you. That's true. And I actually only care about being funny on the internet and not about the podcast. That's fine, man. I made a similar jump to you where I was like, I left Twitter for a while and then being like this is like, this is my job even more than Australia's. And it's like, I am in the throes of having to be relevant with this. I am in fucking social media world.

Yeah, yeah. So I was like, I'm just going to be funny. Now, if I don't have anything funny to say about a situation, I'm not doing it. And then now that's what I am. And then still, Simon fucking telling me today, people, why hasn't Craig Reynolds spoken up about this? I don't know why it sounded like fucking John Merrick there. No, that was cool.

Speaking of great movies. I am a human being. Great movie. David Lynch again. There we go. I think it's my favorite Lynch, honestly. Oh, Elephant Man? Yeah.

Oh, it's such a beautiful movie. I feel like it's the most movie. It is the most movie. I don't know. I saw it really young and it's just stuck with me forever. You know, it's produced by Mel Brooks. Yes.

Yeah. Which is crazy. I know, yeah. He took his name off it so that nobody would think it's a comedy. But yeah. It sounds like, Mel Brooks,

the elephant man. A hilarious rom. It's about a man. Who's an elephant? Yeah, so I'm on just funny things and then people still get annoyed that you're not talking about stuff. Yeah.

People are going to be mad no matter what, man. You're not the fuck. It's, yeah. Let me do what I fucking want. I just want to live in the real world, you know. See you's bass cowboy. Who else is on the run? The other band on it is Omerta.

Oh, my God. It's the weirdest tour of all time. Oh, yeah. And then there's a bunch of, I don't really know who's on all the, there's like regional support on. Yeah. Do you know who all it is off the top of your head? I know Blind Equation, Cyber Grind Act is on a couple days.

It's on a couple of the shows. I'm both for this weird. music resurgence as much. That tour fucking rips. Ballista from Texas is on a couple of the Texas shows. Ben on the Florida shows, too. Jeff's band? Oh, yeah, yeah. Fallen God.

Fallen God's on the Florida shows. Shout out to Jeff. Big shout out, Jeff. Yeah. We still haven't met. See, I think me and Jeff had, like, not even real beef. But Jeff talked shit about me a couple of times on Twitter. And then people sent it to me.

And then I looked at his other tweets and I was like, I kind of like this guy, though. This guy's cool as fuck. Funny weird. Yeah. But he's probably what people think about me. I think he was annoyed at the baddy core thing that I started. Did you start that? Oh, that was me.

Did you see our guitarist tweet in reference to that? No. She said, uh, she said, co-worker metal core breaks down into two genres, batty core and deployed core. And that's fucking nail on the head. Absolutely. I started it as a fucking job. And then he just went like there's a spot if you put baddycore into Spotify.

Yeah, it's there. I think unprocessed who we toured with is in it too. Oh, they're baddy core. I fucking love that band. They are awesome. Speaking of fucking hot dudes. Oh yeah. Jesus, manu?

All four of them. Crazy. Yes. Interesting for Germans to be that hot as well. No offense. That's crazy. Whoa. I'm joking.

And they're so polite for Germans too. Yeah. Yeah. I won't name on the podcast, but I wasn't here. Oh, that was the Tesseract tour. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. was gutted because that lineup fucking rips. Dude, it was awesome. I heard you got beef with Tessarax lighting guy. We can't talk about that.

Oh, man. Edit. Why, does it have to be an edit though? Listen, LDs are rock stars. Do you need to check lights on date 31 of the tour? How much of the show do you have to fucking rehearse? Every headliner's LD is... You know what?

Fuck it. No edit. How many times do you have to run lights while we're fucking sound checking. Yeah. We, the sound, our sound check, and it's fine that it did. We're not the headliner. I don't care.

Our sound check was pushed almost every day to that tour. Do you have to be shining a goddamn spotlight in my face while I'm setting up our click rig? He would put little passive aggressive messages on the stage, like, don't put gear here. Thanks. And I would just put my drum rug over it. Nice. I think I accidentally got beef with Tassaraptic. and it sucks because they're one of my favorite bands.

Oh, really? The merch rate thing, which I think was that tour or was it? No, it was the tour before it. They were like asking us to push the assets while that was going on and we were like, no. We're like, no. I mean, you can't. But we made fun of Jay for it. The whole tour is fine.

And I fucking love Joe. Jay was the first person ever on the downbeat. He's an amazing, like unbelievable drummer. Their record, last year was my record of the year, 100%. I fucking love that band. Yeah. However. You can't be taking those tips.

Yeah. No, no, that sucks, man. Like, that is such a... Merch people work so hard. And also, though, like... We don't have one. Not that we... Who does merch?

All of us. We just rotate. Take shifts. I mean, I'll be real. Just to be straight up. Like, we make too much money on tips, like, to be able to afford to hire somebody. Like, sometimes tips are the reason why we, like, cross the, like,

threshold that we need to cross. Yeah. To, like, make money on tour. So when we're able to afford a merch person, we'll get a merch person. But like, you need the tips. We need the tips at the moment. We're still very much a working class band. Yeah.

We're really grinding out here. Yeah, we are. I don't mind it. I'll grind until the day I die. I don't give a shit. Yeah, we're still young, were you? 28, 30. Yeah.

27. 27. I'll be 28 in November. Yeah. You'll grind. And then somewhere around, I think mine was like 32. I was like, no, I'm not going to sleep on a count. out of

anymore. I'm just not going to do it. I'm fucking, I've done it for fucking 20 years by that point. I'm not doing it. It wasn't 12, 15. He started touring at 12.

The intel on the merch thing was that... How do I know about the lighting guy? Yeah. I fucking know everything. I know fucking everything. People forget the download fucking boycott shit. I knew they were dropping back to these.

And everyone was like, why is a Craig Riddell? There's no talking about it. Guess what? Everyone actually knows. knows. Yeah. Any of these things is quiet because they fucking know.

There's no point stirring the fucking pot. Sure. Yeah. The merch guy thing was, it was actually a merch girl, was a band, not even Tesseract, had seen how much tips their merch person got paid on a tour and paid them out, those tips. And it was 20 grand. And it was over a U.S. tour, big band.

But that band then. got fucked because they paid them out and then the stripe fees came in later on for the card tips i heard about this i know which man this is yes yeah so that then fucked the band yeah yeah and that band then said okay we're going to split tips because it's much easier to you know we'll split it once all of the fees and everything's gone by yeah that's absolutely fucking fine sure but then that sort of got round and a bunch of bands were like oh i guess we need to split tips now which is again you don't but do it don't make a post about it are you fucking dumb no like literally like think whatever you want to think do not post it on the internet just shut up like oh my god

well that's going back to our social media conversation like just don't put these things online you know why do you have to so important why do you have to type it out and hit post just keep it internal. Or just have like a few people. I got like two people that I can think of. One of them manages to SES erect actually. But like they're the people that I fucking, I run my shit by.

Like, yeah, I'm about to do something kind of crazy. Is this crazy? And then they tell me. Sure. Yes or no. Tom Williams is the other one.

Tom Williams is, Tom Williams has been good with that lately because there's been a couple of times that I've posted something back in the day and he's been like, why the fuck he's done that? Yeah. And then now I'm like, can I do this? And he's like, yeah, go on there. And then now it's awesome.

Now it's just jokes. So I don't really care. Do you want to hear a funny me and Tom Williams story? I would love to hear that. The day his kid was born. Which kid? New kid. First kid.

The day his first kid was born. I didn't know he had another. I'm such a bad friend. Again, not on social media. I have no idea. You should text him after this. I will. I will.

Congratulations. Okay. Yeah. The day his first kid was born. I just was like unaware of what was going. on. And a couple days before I had discovered that Huba Stank had a band before Huba Stank called Hube Stank. And the whole album sounds like Mr. Bungle. It's awesome. Wow. And I sent this. This is worth a birthday text. I sent it to Tom with just, have you ever heard this? And he was like,

what are you doing? He actually told you. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, you're like at the hospital right now. He's like, yeah, I'm not listening to Huba stank, dude. Which is so funny. I was like, oh shit. Because the way Tom is, is like, he definitely found that funny. And his reply, he was definitely meant in a funny way. But at the same time, it could be taken as seriously, what the fuck are you doing? He's the one on his phone at the birth of his child. That's not all on you. Fucking great point.

Yeah, that's awesome. Right point. Oh, I'm dying wish I've got something coming up. Wait a minute, baby. If you don't know, Tom Williams is a guitarist and straight from the path and he manages bands, and he's my best friend. He's dope.

He can make these jokes. He's an awesome guy. Who manages you guys? His name is Tom Nolfo. Do you know him? Long Island boy. Long Island boy. Him and Scott Lee manage us.

Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sick. He'll FaceTime you to death. I have high. I don't know him that. I know him from like, oh, yeah, what's up, man.

Yeah. I'm still the new. guy to everyone from Long Island. I've been in straight from the path for nearly nine years. Yeah, and you're the new guy. I'm the new guy because I'm not from Long Islanders. Oh, the new British guy. Actually, you surped him by two years now. Okay,

we didn't even fucking talk about that tour. But it's on now. Right now, that tour is on right now. If you're watching this on day of release, in fact, it starts tomorrow. Those bands are fucking crazy. Like, that's a crazy fucking everyone on this tour package has been BPD.

For sure. situation in a good way. Musical BPD. That omerta band, I only heard them for the first time the other day and I was like, again, like you guys am like, if it sounds like it should be a fucking cartoons music, music for a cartoon, I'm fucking

in. Dude, they, you know what's so funny is they sent us three songs like almost two years ago now. And one of them was that single that they just put out charade. Yeah. And when, Gus sent it to me. I was like, like immediately we were like, we were in one of our cars listening

to it. And I was like, oh, we have to step our game up like hard. I was like, we need to get crazy. No, literally. I was like, oh, fuck. This is like the coolest music I've ever heard. I love that band. They're awesome people. Awesome band. Social media presence. Crazy. Social media presence is wild. Yeah. They're doing their thing though. They are doing that thing. That's what they, that's what they do. man. The only thing that I find funny, and I just am just obviously better than everyone on the internet. Why is nobody? The easiest dunk back to them, and I'm not a dunker because I think the band is great. Yeah. The easy, because they go on these fucking rants and their rants are, I agree with them with the AIification of music. Of course. Metalcore being fucking boring,

and I'm like, I'm fully on your team, guys. However, your name is a murder. It's the most generic fucking metalcore name I could have fucking thought of. And I've not seen a single person say it. I don't know if I agree with that. Oh, come on. It's a Lamb of God song. I know. But like...

When I think generic metalcore, I think of those verb, the noun kind of band names. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I guess so. There's like five I'm thinking of right now, but I want a tour with them, so I'm not going to say their name.

I'm not saying, what's your dream tour? Who would you dream for someone to ask you? Oh my gosh. Not Mr. Bungle, not the Ninja Escape player. Right, yeah. Like a feasible one.

Like a real band. Death tones, probably? I would say death tones You've got a chance If Steph Cobbender's a fucking weirdo Chino's a weirdo Yeah

Yeah corn Corn also Yeah Corn would be fucking sick I don't know if it's feasible But Fallout Boy Oh God That'd be so cool

That wouldn't be feasible Would it? No I don't think so They did take every time I die out that one time Did they really? Yeah maybe Mania tour

Whoa Yeah Fall Outboy fans would fuck with us They'd like us Maybe if we only Played the soft shit Yeah Yeah

I'm trying to think who I'd like to see you with. I mean, literally that tour is probably the tour of the fucking year for psycho music. You ever listen to Sixth? From the UK. Our guitar player Dan does a lot. Yeah, it's in there a little bit. Dan went crazy for Sixth at Arc Tangent last year. Oh, yeah.

Dan knows like four bands and one of them is sixth. Yeah. Two of them might be sixth, actually. But we were watching them, and I've never seen. Dan know like every word to every song. And there's a lot of words. Moshing in high viz, by the way. Fuck, yeah.

It was awesome. And I had really fucked up both of my knees the day before in Brighton. Because I tried to jump back on a stage and like hit both of my knees on the end of the stage. So I was like standing there like basically crippled just watching Dan go like a bay blade in that pit. It was insane. That's funny. He was loved that. I've ever seen him.

Happiest I've ever seen that guy, for sure. They were just too early, that band. Yeah. I think so, man. Like, I was into that band in 2003. Yeah, they've been around a long time. Australian? No, UK.

Oh, London. And they like, their pinnacle album was 2006. And it's like, it's, you know, if that album didn't exist, periphery wouldn't exist. Like shit like that. I just feel like, and they left it too late to make a comeback. back in my opinion. Yeah, I mean, what I hope for them is that, like, Art Tangent especially, it seems like they have this new wave of fans that are our age or maybe younger than that because of periphery, like periphery putting them on and stuff like that. What I'm hoping for them

is that if they put out another record, it does like really, really well. Yeah, they did an EP and it did fine. The issue, I think, I don't know this for a fact, is Justin Hill, which was the old singer, the main singer, the guy that. that isn't going. He didn't do the reunion EP. And they did get another guy and he was great. He played an arctangent. So is he back then?

Yeah, he's back. They made a big statement, which I don't, you know, I don't know you six. So I apologies if this is like a little, you know, whatever. They made a statement on stage. They were like, they were like, the band is these two singers.

And we will never be another two singers again. and I was like, oh, okay. Through the other guy under the bus. I guess. I recorded my first, my first band's first record was with Dan, well, the guitarist,

and Justin Hill, the singer. They produced it. That's awesome. Fucking, great fucking dude. I'm sorry, I'm asking because I don't know.

Were you in Fell Silent? No. Okay. I was a bit by a band called Viatrophy, which was like a death metal band. That's right. Yeah. Around the same time.

Yeah, that's right. We taught with Fell silent. A bunch. Yeah. It's a great death metal name. Yeah. So fucking.

but it sucked because everyone was like either calling us viatrothi or viatrophy or what is it? And they're like, what does it mean? It was like we were like drunk and high. And so I was like Googling horrible ways to die. And it was like via atrophy. Like literally like just wasting away. And then someone's like,

that's a great name for it. That's awesome. That's easily pronounceable. Let's roll. Let me tell you, not a fucking great name for man. Anyway, that tour is on fucking right now. You should go and see it because everybody is fucking sick. fuck and weird. And I hope they weren't

insulted by me saying their name sucked a murder because it doesn't suck. I love you. Come on the podcast. They're great people. They'll understand. They're great people. Yeah, they're funny and they make crazy music. They better fucking get it. I think these do like just top five movies because we've just glistened over movies. Okay.

You first. I'm talking way too much. All right. Top five. And this is a loose five. I'll just off the top of my head. John Carpenter's The Thing. It follows. Oh, he's a horror man. It follows in your top five movies of all time.

I saw it follows like five times in theaters when it came out. I thought it was just fantastic. And the score is terrifying. I just, I think it's amazing. Mahal and Drive, like I already mentioned, spacing on the last two.

It follows kind of, you can think, well, it follows kind of started the bisexual lighting movement. That's fair. 100%. Like that movie came out and then every single movie and streamer and everything looked like that.

Well, there's that scene and it follows where there's that really tall guy and he like ducks under the doorway. And it's so scary. It's such a good jump scare. It's a beautiful shot though. It's amazing. The way it's framed is amazing. I feel like that was the first. I don't think it is A-24, is it? But like the first of the like horror films can look nice. I think it kind of started the whole like it's it's the 80s and it's scary. But that movie's like not even set in the 80s. I like that about that, though. You don't know what time is set. It looks 80s, but I feel like there's phones.

So that's what, that's the only thing that makes it not 80s. It's like, I like that. And then I guess 2001 is Space Odyssey, obviously. It's classic. And then for a wild card, uh, Drop Dead Gorgeous. What's dropped a comedy movie from the 90s? Who's in it? I don't think I've seen it.

Will Saso's in it. I haven't seen it. It's like mostly women and it's like a mockumentary about like a beauty queen, uh, competition in the Midwest. It is just so funny. Maybe I have seen it. I do like a mockumentary vibe. You ever seen Bestin Show?

I was about to say Best in Show. It sounds like it's similar. Very similar vibes. Did you see the follow-up that the Best in Show team made called Mascots? Yeah. So fucking funny. The Best in Show is the same guy that did Spinal Tap, isn't it? I didn't know that.

I'm pretty fucking sure it is. That makes sense. I think you're right about that. Am I right? Simon, that's where you're fucking getting paid for. Simon. Yeah, Christopher Gass directed Bestin Show. I wrote the screenplay for Spinal Tap.

There we go. That's awesome. Both fucking incredible movies. I think I quote Spinal Tap every day. There'll be something from Spinal Tap in my day. I've seen it so long. It's been like 10 years since I watched that. When you re-watch it, you will realize how many just normal music terms just come from that.

Really? Okay, cool. Even like the fucking amps going up to 11 shit, all of that fucking shit. Sure. Yeah, that's, yeah, I knew about that one. None more black. Gotcha. All that shit.

Anyway, I have to go back to it. Who's five? Children of Men. Nice fucking movie. In Bruges. Wild card. Great movie, though. Wild card.

But yeah, yeah, amazing movie. The Fountain. Man, you said 2001. So I don't have it. The Fall. Tarsem sings the Fall. You keep talking about this. I really want to see it.

You got to watch it, man. I think you love it. It's amazing. Have you seen it? No. It's this passion project by the guy that did the movie The Cell. Yeah, yeah.

So it took him like six years to make it. And he mostly self-funded it, which is crazy. And I think that's probably why he hasn't really directed anything else is because he used all of his money on that. But it's a Lee Pace who eventually went on to be in Guardians of the Galaxy. And he was in that show Pushing Daisies too. Right, right, right. Yeah, American show.

But he's like, he's a stuntman in like the early, like, early like silent film era. he's a stunt man who like breaks both of his legs and he's in the hospital and this little girl that is also in the same hospital as him like keeps coming to him to hear him tell her stories and you like see the stories played out as like like cinematically and it's just a beautiful beautiful movie loads of wrecks today and then you know what uh super wild card because he said it follows under the silver lake oh what's there it's the director of it follows like follow up that put him in director jail. Really? Is it bad?

No, it's amazing. Why is he in director jail for it? No one likes this movie. And also it may kind of allude to there being a Hollywood sex trafficking ring. Oh, in the movie. It's basically his eyes wide shut. Oh, sick. Andrew Garfield is the lead.

Are there any more notable names in it? How old is it? 2017, I think. Yeah. I've seen it like four or five times now. It follows is actually the movie I've seen the most times. I love that movie. But yeah,

we're the same. Under the Silver Lake is like almost, it's like two and a half hours. Yeah, it's a weird movie. It's like a neo-noir, conspiracy thriller kind of. It's so awesome. I love it to death.

And there's a scene where Andrew Garfield beats up a child. Yeah, which is pretty funny. I'm fucking in. Because they touch his, does he have a Mustang? I think they egg his car. Yeah.

And then he has like, he has like the doucheous car imaginable. He lives in Silver Lake in L.A. And like his car gets egged and he sees the kids that did it. And he just beats the living dog shit out of it. I saw a good child death recently. In a movie.

Which one? Where Evil lurks. Spanish movie. Oh, okay. I have the shot. The thing you came out this year. Sick. I'm into my shutter.

We definitely both have. shutter. So, okay, where evil lurks is fucking incredible. Okay, cool. It's like,

it's like a possession movie. Okay. Meets a zombie movie, but it's Spanish, like non-clay shit. Basically, there's just like, cool.

It's, it's like zombie meets witchcraft, meets, meets, like there's a small village and it's, like, well known that there's people that, like,

can be possessed. and they turn into like these fucking like mutated things and there needs to be these people need to come in and fucking do the possession properly or else it spreads and all this shit. That's cool. But it's like super unique, not like cliche. There's a bit where the demon possesses a fucking XL bully and there's a fucking kid in the scene and the kid gets like fucking faced. Oh, man.

Oh, that's good. It's real fucking topical shit. Does that be nice to do my top five? Yeah. Yeah, please. Absolutely. Old boy number one. Sick.

Fuck yeah. Fucking just love it. Love the twist. Love anything about it. It's fucking just the best. Awesome. I've already done a whole podcast on it. So The Juice with Mike Monarcho.

I feel like my basic one is American Psycho. Such a good movie. And I love the book. And I love the way that they got a woman to direct a movie. So, yeah. had that you really did get a sense because the book is kind of just like gratuitous male excess do you like Brett East and Ellis books like in general yeah I love them but he's so fucked okay okay that's where that's what I was going so I love I love him less than zero like America

less than zero is so crazy dude insane and then again would much rather he just wasn't on Twitter because like I'm glad I don't see it it yeah it's just like oh maybe you really like the shit in the books yeah yeah but I was and am a big fucking fan of his literature yeah okay that's two

now I have there's a potential for the three to be Tom Cruise movies hell yeah let's go I think let's just say Tom Cruise is three and I'll tell you the three that we can split this into, which is Vanilla Sky,

eyes wide shut, and the Last Samurai. Dude, I love the Last Samurai. People fucking hate it. I don't know why. It's awesome. It's so sick. Have you seen it?

No. Oh, my God. I need to. I love Cruz. Did you watch Shogun? Either of you. I've seen the first episode. I'm saving it for when I get back from tour.

It's basically, and I think the reason people don't like Last Samurai. It is based on a true story, so it fucking happened. But it does have the whole, white white savior yeah yeah but it's kind of a similar thing guy gets fucking kidnapped by samurai's become a samurai but it's sick it's got a nice little love story in it hands him a fucking soundtrack oh my gosh you can't go tom cruise being a fucking badass that's khen wata nabi being a

fucking badass i love ken wata navi the guy that's actually in shogun he's the fucking uh torranaga in shogun and he's he plays scorpion in the latest small combat. Oh, that guy. He's a fucking badass in last samurai. He's the guy that doesn't like Tom Cruise. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

He's, actually, they fucking love each other. He's not the samurai he kills. He's the brother of the samurai kills? I think, brother. Something like that. Yeah. What fucking movie I want to watch one. Yeah, no, me too.

And Van Nukeye Sky is obviously, I fucking love Van Nukeye's guy. And again, people don't really like that. The best Tom Cruise movie, in my opinion, is Tropic Thunder. His role with that hairy arms is. So funny. The trouble funder is crazy and it's crazy. It dodged all the canceling. Yes, it is.

Yeah. It's fucking insane. It's literally like a meme in the van that we're like, you couldn't make it today. But you couldn't. No, you couldn't, but it's awesome. But it is genuinely funny. I go what? Does that mean I got two left?

You got two left. I don't want to go real obscure. I went real obscure. I should know. There is a UK movie called Dead Man Shoes. It's a revenge movie. It's really fucking obscure. Sick.

You might be able to get it on like fucking BFR. player or some shit. Okay. It's about, again, I love a twist and I love revenge. Two brothers go back to a little town that they grew up in to get revenge because the littlest brother was getting fucked around by these guys. And it is a fucking hell of a revenge story. Like, if I don't want to do any spoilers, it's good twist at the end, but it's fucking

insanely brutally violent as well. Awesome. There's a bit where he gets a guy and like fucking, he like, drove. a bunch of people so he can get in there and kill him and he fucking stuff this guy in a suitcase like fucking beats him to death and then stuffs him in a suitcase and then opens the suitcase and there's just mangled fucking guy in it it's fucking awesome I feel like I got to put a comedy in there I feel like just if it's like desert island movies I'm going to be so depressed sure oh fuck inception's in there I'm a big fucking inception is so awesome inception rocks yeah

fuck that's the first movie I saw when I was a kid where I was like it was the first time I was like, oh, real movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this is it. Oh, cool. Yeah, Inception was, I saw Inception three times in the cinemas. And it was mostly because of Hans Zimmer's fucking, I mean, he changed a game. Oh, yeah.

Didn't exist. Yeah, dude. Now it's in fucking everything. Yeah, no, he started that trend. He started, for better or for worse. There's the South Park episode where it's literally all they fucking do. Yes, I guess it's Inception. But if I was going to put a comedy in there, if we've got a six, it'd be dumb and dumber.

I was going to say dumb and dumber if I didn't say drop day gorgeous. Dumber is like... The funniest movie ever made. Every time I watch it, there's something new that I haven't fucking seen it. I must have seen it a hundred times. When I was a kid, I was so obsessed with the opening scene where he was like, it's okay, I'm a limo driver. Every fucking time.

I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, that's a new fucking joke I didn't get. Two truths and a lie, because you have to fucking sound check. Yeah. It's been glorious, by the way. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much, man. Us too. I'm so glad we got along like this.

This is awesome. Beginning of a wonderful friendship, I think. Yeah, I feel like I knew. You can tell by people's fucking, like, Twitter and the music they make. I was like, yeah, these are my people. They're fucking weirdos. David Lynch, fucking tattoos, fucking weird, yeah.

Weird motherfuckers. Two truths and a lie. You have them. You have them. Oh, wait. I had to come up with them. We both had to come up. No, we just give me one.

Just give me one set. Okay. I don't even know how the fucking game works. People will tell me eventually they hate this, it and then I'll get rid of it like I did with the Dream Festival. So do they have to be tour related? Carson mentioned they're supposed to be. No, it's just the way I sell it to people in case you don't know is that it's basically

just like two wild things that have happened, which you couldn't possibly shoehorn into a conversation in the podcast, which is entertaining for the viewer. Sure. Because most of the time what I was finding is I'd do an episode and then we'd be like packing down and talking and then they tell me some fucking crazy story. Like, where the fuck was that a minute ago? And then, well, I didn't come up. So this is a way for people to tell me their fucking crazy stories

and just put one, fake one in just to get the other two out. One time I was on a tour and we got into two van accidents in one day. I have to do all three. You don't got one? I got one. Give one. One time we were playing in, we were playing somewhere. And a guy that got kicked out of the venue said that he was going to bomb the place.

when he was outside of the venue. Okay. There might be more to that if it's true. If it's true. It's definitely true because I saw the way you looked at each other. Yeah. And then this is you making up the lie. On camera, yeah.

Yeah, so fuck this. Fuck this whole fucking bit. It's okay, soft eyebrows. Go for it. No, because now the game's done. You might as well just tell me the fucking two stories and we're done. What happened with the two van crashes in one day? So we're driving, there's a different band.

we were driving through Canada on like October 1st, which I guess is the start of their winter. And it was just a blizzard. And our guitar player was just driving too fast. And I was asleep in the back of the van and one of those bunks and I felt it shake. And I heard the driver go, fuck. And I put my hands on the ceiling and we just went down into a ditch. Oh my God. Like I said, Blizzard, Canada, we were in that ditch for like three, four hours trying to get back up.

Was everyone okay? Yes. Luckily. It was terrifying. We're more shaking up than anything. But, uh, and then eventually a tow truck comes and gets us and they pull us out and they're like, you need to be careful on this drive. Like, you do not go over 30 miles an hour, you know.

We're driving 15 miles down the road or 15 minutes down the road. And he's just doing 60 again. And then van shakes, boom, another ditch. Same vehicle. Same vehicle. What did it look like at the fucking end? This was one of those, uh, it was like an airport shuttle bus kind of van. So like, and it was renovated to have bunks in it, but like, it was a nightman.

Then, you know, we're in ditch number two. And at that point, the second tow truck took about five hours to come get us. And then. And you're on tour? It was the very end of the tour. Yeah. So driving home from Canada to, yeah, like the east coast of America. Toe us out of the ditch the second time.

And they're like, you cannot drive like this in these conditions. You're in a different country. You don't know what you're doing. Like, if that happens again, no one will come get you. And then on the, like, we saw turned over. wheelers on the middle of the highway. You know, like a nightliner with a hockey team just crashed right

behind us, missed us by like a hundred feet, maybe. It was just... Fuck that, fuck that drive. Fuck driving in Canada at that time of year and fuck Salt Lake to Denver. Oh. Salt Lake to Denver is demonic. I'm out on it.

The worst. I fly on it most times now because I'm too scared. We have gotten lucky the last couple of times where it hasn't been like so... overrun with snow but there was like there was one time even the fucking

the wind is awful there was we did uh on the drugs tour we did uh Denver to Kansas City like dead of winter and it like the snow was so there was so much snow that I was like squinting

and you would drive it I was driving yeah I think that's where snow blind comes from right yes you can go snowblind had no idea had no idea that like just looking at snow for too long can like fuck your vision up the same way you look at the song who is that tall with that drugs band drugs varials um and one five six silence

people always say I look like that guy from drugs which I'll take because he's hot as fuck and we have the same name yeah to the point where sometimes people will call me his name he's definitely taller motherfucker I know yeah I'd be fucking he's hot and tall how annoying as that is give me another foot unstoppable That's a joke.

God. I'd be seven foot then. As you can see as I'm fucking slouched in a chair. We have to change my camera all the time. I'm five foot nine. I'm actually five foot nine point three five. Okay. Getting every little bit in there.

Honestly, because I broke my back and I lost like half an inch on my height because I got compression fracture. And then now I think it's come back. Because I was doing the laser leveling. I was like, oh my God, I'm fucking five nine bang on. I used to be 510. Yeah.

But now I'm back. Anyway, dude, I think I'm 510, like on a good day. I'm like a full 510. This lady that came out to take pictures of us was like, I don't know if this was her idea of a joke or something, but she was like, like the second I said like, I'm 510, just like in regular conversation and like not trying to pretend I'm taller. I did do that when I was younger for sure, but like not trying to pretend that I'm taller or anything.

She was like, you're not 5'10. She was like, a doctor told you that to satiate your ego. Wow. And I was like, fuck you. It's like, you're fired. It's like a running joke though. When everyone says they're 510, they're not. To the point where if you go on the downbeat merch site,

you know, like the model photos where you have to say what the model is, the model's always me. And the model usually says, model is this height wearing a medium or whatever? Sure. My one says, Craig is 5 foot 9, but he tells girls he's 5 foot 10

and he's wearing whatever size is. But I don't really do that. I just thought it was funny. But I definitely used to do that. Anyway, what is your true truths in the life that's definitely true? Yeah. The bomb, the bomb threat?

Yeah. I mean, this is just like more funny than anything. But we were on tour with the Swedish band known as Avatar. Yeah. Do you know them? Yeah, do you know them? So we were on tour with them.

We were playing in Connecticut, playing Webster, and Avatar fans get real drunk sometimes. They get at it. They get at it. Yeah, they got that whole Euro thing happening. Yeah, for sure. Great people, cool bands, but their fans are crazy. And they did not like us very much. But this guy, I guess, was too drunk and whatever.

So, like, we saw security, like, literally dragging. him out by his feet. And we were like, oh, that's funny. And I just met Corey, who plays on the band Boundaries, who works at, who worked at the Webster at the time. And then like seconds after meeting him, he was dragging this guy out of the venue. And we were like, oh, that's pretty funny. That guy tried to get in.

We all, like, remembered his face or whatever. And then we are, like, smoking weed, which was illegal. I don't know why I said that. It's fine. We were doing illegal things next to our bus or our van. And we see that same guy like sprinting back into the venue. Like running from the sidewalk that our van is parked on, running into the venue. Wearing a vest.

Presumably. And just security immediately just lays. him out on the ground. And I'm watching Corey, who had just met, like, hold this guy down on the ground. And he's like, he's like,

you can't come back. I don't want to have to call the police. Like, we, we don't want to deal with this. And just like out of his mouth, he goes, I'm going to blow the place up.

Wow. They go, all right, now you're getting arrested. Yeah. Like, I just saw them like grown. They're just like,

you just made this very serious. Now we have to call the police. and we're all just dying because this is the funniest thing ever sprinting it's the funniest thing I've ever seen Not a fit guy No, it looked like the end of the hot dog sketch

And I think you should leave He's like, yeah, you piece of dog shit Why was he sprinting back in? Catch the show He wanted to see the rest of Avatar man They played for an hour and 50 minutes Oh my God, really It's a long show

He wanted to see the last 25 No fucking way I'll quit music before I play for a hour and 50. Dude, same. I mean, I'll do less. If I was in, like, I'll do, if I was in a fucking rock band. But I can't do this for an hour 50.

No. No. Fuck that. Hour 50 of Mathcore? God no. How long are you playing for tonight? Mathcore Kings. 52?

Coldren's playing as well. Caldren's playing as well. Crazy band, yeah. Rockers. Crazy band. Okay. Well, let's go and do that. You've got a sound check.

We do have to do that. We do that sound check. So, fucking, have you misload it? Yeah. Someone else do load it. it. Always. Oh, shit. Yeah, that load in sucks.

You need to go. Thanks, guys. Thank you so much for having us. We didn't even get into the fucking name. The name triggered for me yesterday. Oh, the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah. Because I said it wrong.

And now I was like, oh, that's what it fucking means. How are you saying it? No, I was saying the Calist Cowboys. But then in my head, I thought, because Dow is like Thai or Lao? Laos laos. Daoism, yeah. For star, and I was like, oh, maybe it's just some clever shit. And then I accidentally said to Dallas Cowboys.

And then I went, oh. Yeah. I love that everybody has that moment. Everybody has that moment. Yeah. It's a good name. I like it. Thank you.

It's crazy. Check out the Callas Dalboys on tour with Cue Space Cowboy right the fuck now, unless you're watching this in the future. And then just fucking Google them, I guess. Thanks. Bye. Bye.