The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #11 Giving Birth During a Global Pandemic with Jessica Frey

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

Jessica Frey (Sense & Sensibility, Netflix's The Characters) shares the one or two downsides of giving birth during a global pandemic. This was originally going to be a Patreon-exclusive episode but her story was so good that felt like releasing Lord of The Rings on Peacock. We talk about the horrors of holding babies on roofs, facts about women's bodies me and my co-host should have already known, and just how much poop comes out with the baby. Join The Downside Patreon for ad-free episode and bonus ones on the 1st & 15th of every month. See Jessica (and Gianmarco and Russell) at their sketch team Uncle Function's first live show back 7PM Friday May 21st at Asylum NYC Follow JESSICA FREY on instagram, twitter & her website Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

okay um russell how are you doing holy that's how you're gonna start we'll edit out that first part that long side we don't edit anything out of this podcast okay uh how the fuck are you doing i'm good well i'm i'm good no you just say one oh yes oh sorry i'm good john marco i'm good. How are you? Fuck you. This is terrible. You're listening to The Downside. With John Marco Cerezi. Listen, we're a little rusty.

Why are we a little rusty? It's been, what, four days? I don't know. Has it been that? No, we didn't do it on Saturday. But we did it last Wednesday. Did we? When this comes comes out it won't make any sense time what did we do oh we did we do oh my goodness so uh what'd you do see i like jessica jessica other guests are like other guests coming in no you guys look i mean you just look at me like what the fuck is wrong with you

it's not your i'll look at you when i want you to talk um welcome to the special patreon episode we're here with uh our guest who i'm going to introduce in a second but feel free to chime in and laugh perfect so funny um i i'm okay russell you you had your uh i dropped my phone in the toilet, uh, right before I came here. I was like, I gotta go. I gotta go.

Free PP, nothing. There was nothing in the bowl. I mean, there's water in the bowl. Um, good, but,

uh, but there, so, uh, I, then I was like, okay, I like pulled it out.

And it's like a sitcom character from the city. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, I just was like frantic. I pulled it out and it's like a sitcom character. I just was like frantic. I pulled it out right away and, um, dried it off as best I could. And then my wife was like, throw it in rice,

throw it in rice. And so I put it in a bag of rice. I didn't have any phone on the train. So, you know, that's a torture. You just looked people dead in the eye. There were a lot of interesting things.

I thought about this. Like I got myself, you know, what were a lot of interesting things i thought about this like i got myself you know what could i you know i thought about i put some work in today good and then um but anyways i got here and then there's rice now jammed up into my iphone that's not supposed to happen so i know so i can't charge it i can't plug it in it's there's rice in there and so i used a little needle to try and get it out. John Marco's needle is laying around. It was a nail. It was called a nail.

Busted. Yeah, I'm a needle boy. Got a needle play. So I used this little nail to get some of the rice out. But there's still rice jammed up in there. I don't know how to. You know, that reminds me. I hope this is appropriate. I did it i did a guitar camp in uh in high school like a lot of kids i did a

guitar camp and this kid got in trouble because he asked um he kept asking every woman he went up to this was pre me too of course he kept asking every woman he went out he said when you what happens when you get sand in your pussy and And so they held a sand pussy meeting. No one really answered it for me. I'm still curious. Wait, you? Did you just reveal that you were the kid? No, I was not the kid.

But I was definitely the kid. Like, you shouldn't ask that. But what's the answer? And I remember they had to gather everyone in the camp. And be like, okay, so there's certain questions you should be asking your parents and not your peers. That's the one you should ask your parents? That feels like...

Why would he need to ask his parents about... Mother? It's a curious thing. Well, that's what our guest here is here for. We have a woman on the podcast. I have a vagina. When we don't have a woman on the podcast. I have a vagina. When we don't have a woman on the podcast,

Russell and I just go like, so we just go back and forth like, well, what do you think? Do you? That's what the douche is for. We've never gotten an answer. Yeah. What happens when Sam gets in?

Let's not say pussy. Let's be respectful of our friend. In your cervix. Wow, in the cervix. I've never experienced that. I mean, you know, the conversation that we had with chris do you remember that so we had our we talked about uncle chris uh uh he's going to be on the patreon episode before this um he yeah uncle chris we're on a sketch team called uncle function and

jessica you being here completes every member will have been on the podcast so i was last that's cool that's right you're easy to schedule jessica i uh i um so what did chris say we are frank chris so chris we were talking i got oh yes oh i know i remember the exact conversation we were talking about the vagina monologues and how they were sort of like you know like people were like not wanting to do the vagina monologues because it was like not inclusive um to people that don't have a vagina and chris was trying to explain to me when you put it like that when you put it like that it's just such a funny like well yeah okay it's not okay yeah you're right the vagina monologues isn't very vagina based well you know it's it's um it's an old piece so anyway um they were chris

was like talking about uh you know explaining to me what the vagina was and he was like yeah it's the whole thing and i was like chris you're sorely mistaken you're just mistaken and he was like no no no like trust me i read it i read an article about it like a pod he saw he witnessed something he said the vagina is the whole thing. Because my point was, why don't we teach kids like the vulva, which is what we mean 99% of the time when we say the vagina, right? Yeah. Yeah.

You guys are looking at me with like just dead eyes. Do you know what a vulva is? Because we're doing the thing, we're faking, we're like, wait, okay. So the vulva is because we're doing the thing we're faking we're like wait okay so the vulva okay i'm gonna go on a limb because russell's pretending he knows so the cervix is in the inside that's where the baby has to come through yeah it's imagine you know like your esophagus like the hole going into your stomach right okay and the the cervix has to be 10 centimeters to get exactly before the baby yes before the baby comes out of there which is a lot of centimeters 10 centimeters okay

no i did not know that before you start pushing yeah because sometimes people are like meters to because there's always that me in oh my god so tova tova my girlfriend she i guess disappointed women she passed a box the other day of uh trojan slims it's called trojans oh no no not trojan slips um magnum slims uh-huh and uh does that just mean skin like thin so that's the first thought we both know well we first thought like oh does that mean you have a really big but spaghetti cock like our first thought was not that they were thin but that it was for like massive super skinny cocks just like pencil dicks and i was like she was like why would anyone buy that called slims but then it's about it's about yeah wait what is it about i don't know it's about like teach me the texture like the the condom isn't that thick

do you mean it's thinner so you can feel like yeah and also the increased risk of like you really this could break yeah yeah very dangerous i only had to kind of break once in my life oh shoot it was uh i could feel it did you what happened i you started screaming you started screaming you're crying in the closet shut the fuck up i uh no i i i stopped and um yeah but that's the only time it's ever happened to me it's kind of ever broken well i guess that one time for margo god no yeah no there was no there was no condom involved in the in the margo conception that's good so wow yeah so chris we're back to back to chris ch Chris Chris learned Chris like really really

I cannot believe he he doubled down he did double down for a minute yeah he was like no no no no no no

well it's the whole thing it's the whole thing so the vulva is is the outside just just like the outside

yep yep it's labia majora labia minora yeah so then what is the whole thing there is no whole thing i think there's probably a medical word the puss yeah i think the medical term is

dad puss you've got a really you know which one you're talking about um and then he i think like a day later after he did some research yeah he asked his father oh my god so what a sweet boy uh russell's we had this birthday party it was russell's birthday party we were all there yeah and it was uh it was the first time you you had a baby i had a baby during the pandemic during the pandemic and uh this was the first time we had seen the baby before margo before but this was the first time we had seen the baby before, Margot before, but this was the first time we got to hold her. Yes.

Hold her. Yes. And, you know, I had, my girlfriend was there. This coincided with our six month anniversary. And really stressful. And the breaking of the condom. And the breaking of the condom. Very stressful weekend overall.

But seeing a baby, being at a party with a baby, and like people people and there are others and there was an older woman there it really i don't know it's there was an anxiety i had where i was like oh life is move and life is move yeah death is coming i have to make decisions oh my god yeah oh you mean like yeah there is an interesting thing in the pandemic where it almost feels like time wasn't as real so uh so yeah there is a interesting thing in the pandemic where it almost feels like time wasn't as real so uh so yeah there is a thing with like doing things like that where you're like oh god time has passed and we're we're getting back to doing things and that feels weirdly stressful all of a

sudden it's just seeing all the people that like a lot of people that i care about in one space it's just like their lives have grown yeah we're getting older and they're all gray-haired and most of our parents will be dead they could have died now during the recording of this podcast and uh this is a dramatic podcast right yeah a lot of death talk a lot of death talk and then you know your baby's adorable so she's and uh stressful on a roof i like i have i have like intrusive thoughts this is a really what if you just accidentally threw the baby off the roof yes i had this thought like there would be a like there were bees up there i definitely would come and you'd be like

do you think everyone would understand they'd be like no we would know we've all been in this position before i had i have intrusive thoughts i didn't know to call them intrusive thoughts tova was the first one where i was i have intrusive thoughts i didn't know to call them intrusive thoughts tova was the first one where i was i would be like every time i use an oven like i think about like in the holocaust they killed people in ovens oh and she was like every time she was like that's an intrusive thought i was like oh i guess you're right it just comes in there and so as i'm holding your baby i just had this like i was holding very very tightly yes very tightly biceps that's why i sat down for alliceps. That's why I sat down.

That's why I sat down because I thought everyone's had a little bit to drink. If a bee does come and surprise me, if I'm sitting, it'll be harder for me to feel like it would be more like I would place her gently on the ground and then roll.

You just throw a regular, she just falls a regular distance of five feet. But it's very stressful. I've always thought, because I have anxiety and if I had a baby, I do think I would have to really confront it because I could see myself running into the room, checking on my baby, breathing constantly.

I could see that being my thing. Yeah, well, it is. I mean, it's nerve wracking for sure. And you're a chill person. I'm a pretty chill person. But I feel like, you know, COVID plus new baby plus all this stuff has been like, you definitely are like, oh my God. And it's just, it's been a little bit more stressful than, you know, like I think I would

have been normally. Yeah. For sure. So you got, you found out you're pregnant because we don't know how long pregnancy lasts. When around did you find out? Well, I found out I was pregnant on January 10th. Oh, my God. And then, you know, as we all know, shit went down in March.

So it was pretty weird to be like, oh, yeah, Max, come to the appointments. And then be like, Max can't come. So I had to film all the appointments and stuff. Oh, weird. Yeah yeah that was really weird um were you because when you heard about covid was your first thought like what does this do to a baby oh a hundred percent i was like researching pregnant covid women you know and being like do we know anything so you know that was scary for sure and those groups my friend lindsey who has a baby yeah uh she was in like a lot of mommy facebook groups yeah it's as she calls them and like you know they're sharing they're sharing the worst thing that's ever happened to a baby yeah

yeah they got covet and the baby came out with wings yeah googling things about your baby definitely isn't good when margo was itty bitty she hadn't pooped for like a day which is pretty normal when you said it but you did the size of it being in your stomach and i was like pooped they poop in your stomach well actually they do sometimes there's a thing that happens like where they poop inside you when they're get when they're being born and then sometimes they can swallow the poop and it's like really bad oh my god yes it's crazy it's crazy um but anyway so when she was like pretty small this is just i'm teaching this is like the female education podcast good do this more so uh she was like not pooping and i like researched something and i was like

she has cancer like she definitely has cancer it was like if your baby hasn't pooped and has veins on their stomach then they have cancer oh my god i was like she has veins like she definitely was this reddit it was just google i was just like the first thing that comes up on google is if you're like is everything okay with my baby they're like it's the first answer it's like cancer first answer so okay so so you find out kovats coming in march yep so you're like i'm gonna be safe i mean like you're gonna just yes super quarantine super quarantine yeah it was yeah we we i mean we did go see my parents um which was kind of like the only thing that we did that was a little bit like oh Oh God, we got to do it. But I, I had to do it. I was like pregnant. I was scared.

I like wanted to see them so badly. And so we like, we were so insane. And like, I was like shaking the entire ride down to see them in Kentucky, but we did it. And it was amazing. I'm not,

I don't regret it. I mean, I would have regretted if we had all gotten COVID obviously. Sure. Yeah, of course. That would make sense. It was July. It was July.

It was July. Yeah, it was scary to travel in any of the things because you're like, A of all, you want to be safe. Yeah. And also, but then there's like this weirdly stressful thing of like, in your head, you're like, well, I've done all the things. I quarantined for two weeks. I didn't blah, blah, blah.

And then you're doing it and you're like oh god if this goes wrong i'm one of those assholes i know yeah yeah yeah especially in the beginning i like my only thing my only thing i did like the first three months was very strict yeah yeah yeah but i had i had roommates and like occasionally they went well i remember once it was like four months in like what they'd come back inside and you know you'd leave to go to the grocery store and stuff but they come back inside and i i would fight this where i was like so where have you been yeah and one of them i swear to god one of them he was from russia originally he was like oh my friend just flew in and we were just spending time together and i'm like oh my god don't, I want to tell you, you're not allowed to do that, but

you're not, you're your own person. That is so crazy. But I remember in the, you know, in the beginning when we didn't know how it was spread, I would like, I would freak out to use the bathroom, the shared space of the bathroom. I remember I like went to, there was a park right outside and I would use the pull-up bars and I would like wipe down the pull-up bars. But I felt like I'm being so naughty. I shouldn't be doing this. Someone else has touched the pull-up bars and i would like wipe down the pull-up bars but i felt like i'm being so naughty i shouldn't be doing this someone else has touched this pull-up bar one guy in harlem this guy he was like hey can you film me doing posts and he tried to hand me

his phone i was like get away from me yeah and um so yeah we we you know we eventually we took a trip after quarantining but like i remember like that was scary from that pull-up bar and i'm gonna see them and they're all gonna die and it's gonna well it was that thing of like we took it we planned it everyone quarantined for two weeks before we went um and we were going to a secluded cabin where we wouldn't be seeing other people yeah but uh it was that thing where you're like the first few days we were like looking around at everyone like is it gonna happen do you know i mean like because like if it's gonna happen we're all gonna get it in this house and not that there was that many people but tell about the wasn't there an old man at the

grocery store yeah so there was this old man so while we were there we went to this cabin in new hampshire and there was we went to the grocery store and also it was interesting because it was that time where it had been so strict for months in new york that we really had this thing of like we were wearing gloves we were wearing masks you know but then we went to new hampshire and it was like not that way there yet but we were like we're coming from new york we're gonna like be like thing so then you stand out even more because you're you're so we i was standing with my mask and my gloves on in like and i was taking my groceries to um my car and uh it had new york license plates on it and this old man was like

when are you going back to new york and i was like uh not for a while he's like yeah maybe he should go back there and i was like i was like no i'm gonna i'm gonna be here all summer and he was he was so mad that we had new york license plates there and i get it it was really bad in new york state but also you're like i don't know it was it was just one of those things he was unmasked you know just like really mad but it was I don't know. I read that he died from COVID a couple of days later. Oh, Jesus Christ. But yeah, it was weird. So you visited your parents. How pregnant were you then?

Oh, super pregnant. I was like 36 weeks pregnant, maybe 30. No, not that many. Maybe 33 or so. Jeez Louise. Yeah, I was super huge. Were you nervous about traveling and then going into labor? I was a little nervous about that. You're not supposed to do that after 36 weeks but i was like you know

if that happens were you reading reports because i feel like people were figuring out stuff about covid all the time like were you reading like okay someone who got covid when they were five weeks pregnant had a baby and the baby's okay yeah oh my god yes it was it seemed like it was okay you know in was okay you know in terms of you know pregnant women not being that much more affected than normal women but it was definitely i mean you know the shit was scary have any babies died of covid oh god i think so i think there's like that like after thing there's like some weird um rare thing this is so sad there's like a weird rare um post-covid side effect thing that happens with little kids oh god but they don't apparently

they don't get that sick from that covid but then they have like this inflammatory thing that happens afterward which is really sad but it's like you know i think under 100 kids but that's still so sad like it's really we're talking about children well sure well that's the thing the downside of babies dying i um why have a friend get all everything the downside of babies dying the upside is well that's the thing if you have a baby you're gonna start looking at you're gonna hear about all the baby dying stories yeah sudden infant what's it called sids right oh god don't even get me started on that one term to mean like yeah don't get russ started on that one that's it's a blanket term that means like the baby died and we're not sure what happened kind of yeah

and they call it sit i don't that's not a fair term. Suddenly it died. I mean, the title of that thing is like suddenly. The car came out of nowhere and the baby died of SIDS. It almost feels like a lazy diagnosis. Like they haven't done enough research on it. They're just like, suddenly it's dead. Okay, sudden infant death. Isn't there a baby one called shaking baby?

Yeah, you're not supposed to shake a baby. But there's a term that's like they baby one called shaking baby yeah you're not supposed to shake a baby but there's also like there's but there's a term that's like they died of like shaken baby like they called the disease shaken baby it's a disease we gotta switch topics here this is well i have a friend i have a friend who's pregnant right now and they have not gonna shake it they have not gone the vaccine and and it's like this real like unfortunate timing of right as the vaccine's getting rolled out they have this baby and it's like do they take it but like are they gonna you know live are you gonna live a coronavirus life as the world reopens i have a question is the husband or partner taking it getting the vaccine i love what you're like there's a husband partner no no i'm saying are they very traditional are they getting the vaccine i love what you're like it was the husband partner no no i'm saying are they

very traditional are they getting the vaccine too oh that's what you were saying yeah i'm saying like you were like is the husband or non-binary partner no no you said there so i was like i was just didn't know if you meant the mother and the child or no no the the mother uh is i don't think she uh she i was for a second i was like i don't think she, I was for a second. I was like, I don't think she's getting the vaccine because she doesn't know yet. Like, you know, not enough people have taken it, but it's,

it's kind of like, uh, well, fuck, are you going to go through this nine months in quarantine? That sounds like a fucking, how pregnant is she? Um,

uh, she is, uh, I think like two medium, medium, oh, small. That's a long time still to go.

Small pregnant, yeah. And to not be vaccinated. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's so, it's just very tough. It's very scary. Yeah. You don't know. You did not, did you get coronavirus?

No, but my husband did. Well, he tested positive. It was this crazy thing. So he was working at a restaurant. While you were pregnant? No, no, no. This was after she was born yeah this was around thanksgiving and we were like yeah we'll we'll uh you know

do our best and try to not see people a couple days before and get tested and then quarantine and we got tested and the results didn't come back in time and so we were like we're pretty sure we don't have covid but like let, let's just cancel family Thanksgiving just in case. Cause we're like, you know, worst case scenario, we have COVID and we don't know it. So worst case scenario was true. So Max's test came back positive, like after Thanksgiving, after we had already canceled family Thanksgiving, we were like, what? It was just shocking.

They had to close the restaurant. Another guy from the restaurant tested positive. It might've been, I don't know who it was, but anyway, somebody else from the restaurant tested positive, but it was crazy don't know who it was but anyway somebody else from the restaurant tested positive but it was crazy because he was like zero no symptoms at all but i never tested positive for it so i don't know if i had it i don't know of course i mean i had one negative antibody test but i'm like how could i have not gotten it after being in new york riding subways you know i was doing comedy shows i don't know i mean you i yeah who knows uh you got it i got it and i knew yeah that for sure but um but still like pretty okay in the grand scheme of things i remember

before i went to new hampshire i lost my sense of smell and taste right but i didn't you have a trip i was so excited about yeah i had a friend i just spoke to the other day who I hadn't seen in a while. And now that he's vaccinated and blah, blah, blah. He was in town. And so we met up and he he was like he had COVID and he has diabetes and things. And he was like, like in really bad shit. Like he was like he was like he went to bed one night being like, if I wake up like this, I have to go to the hospital, you know. And then it turned and he was OK. But I don't know why i shared that it just was like let me i because i i'm only sharing this for patreon episode so i worked this comment i had a friend

who died from coven older comic and um this is such a up story so there's there's some comic out that they're lower level alcoholic he shows up at lol comedy club he wants to go on he wants to get a spot it's not the kind of club where people can get thrown on so he's wasted uh i guess he goes up to the host and my friend who died his name is kenny and the the owner of the club is is in the vicinity and he goes up to the owner he's like he's drunk and he's like uh can i perform here now kenny didn't like me but kenny's not here anymore now is he and like and i i heard it and i thank god i wasn't there because i would have really been in a conundrum of like what do i what do i do here but uh i just thought that's so crazy it was wild that's how that's the community comedy is the worst oh um and And the owner was like, good joke, and put him on.

And now he's the lead. So, okay. So you had, when you had the baby, when did you have the baby? September. September. Yeah. Around Labor Day. Oh.

Yeah. I'm a comedian. At this point, was Max allowed to be with you? Yeah, thank God. i i truly don't know what why did they change that rule because he was like we tested we had a test beforehand and like by that time you did a rapid test no we did like a two day before labor test i i see so it came out on time yeah we were fine yes i have a question about labor. Oh, please. Does it come out of the vagina or the vulva? No.

So, you know, when you're watching on TV and movies and people are screaming. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that, do you scream? I screamed for sure. I also. And like, are you saying words? Are you saying, you know, is it just like. You're reciting Shakespeare.

Is it just like you got to do it? What kind of pain are we talking here we're talking horrible pain so i at first i was like okay i'm not gonna do any drugs like i read a book you know that was like yeah i hear this a lot yes yeah it's a thing that they're like you know the whole reason not to do the drugs is because like if you do the drugs the baby has the drugs too right like they're in your body like you know so whatever um so i was like i'm not gonna do the drugs and i've heard that it's like a euphoric like religious experience i was like fuck this i got this so i get this i have to get induced and the whole time they're like all right if you get induced these drugs make it 10 times

worse what does it do so basically you go in and they give you a drug called pitocin that makes your it like forces your cervix to dilate oh my god right and it like in it makes the labor start happening and they also did something called a foley bulb which is basically they make a balloon animal inside your cervix which animal did you pick i picked a poodle for sure um so i got induced and i was like okay i can do this i can do this so everyone has to get induced drug search no no no you don't have to get induced it was because i was taking along i had a thing i had like a weird umbilical cord thing and they were like you know just to be safe it's past the due date whatever so she was up in there she didn't want to come

down so anyway get the induction it was fine for like hours i mean hours probably 12 hours i was completely fine and then all of a sudden the um midwife comes in and she's like okay i'm just gonna break your water for you because like your water's not breaking excuse me she breaks the water with like basically like a crochet you know that nail i gave you earlier they go up in there they break it gush of fluid feels like i'm just like peeing everywhere yeah and then i start the contractions in their life and i was like okay this is real this time because before the contractions the nurses kept coming in and like looking at the monitor and being like wow are you feeling okay and i was like i feel fucking great i was like you know what i have they were all like you have such a high pain tolerance and i was like

literally no one's ever told me that before i guess i do i was like i just guess i'm like really good at this like i'm good at birth so so the drugs are they making my special skill this are you freaking out at any point i mean did you prep for all this you're like oh it takes a little bit that means it's okay yeah i like read the books and i was like you know we had like ointments for me to sniff and stuff i had like lavender and jasmine and i had like things to do to focus on um but the biggest mistake that i made is that they were like just remember if you get induced you can't eat anything so i hadn't eaten for like 12 hours so i was like so so hungry they break my water gush of fluid and then i'm like oh shit

these are contractions so like i was literally i was like sitting up and i was like like straight up like vocal warm-ups yeah like they're like all the books are like okay blow your lips like and like be like and i'm like like shaking screaming max is behind me like rubbing me you're going just to be clear you're going humma literally humma like literally i'm trying to like do relaxation vocal exercises like i'm using my bfa honey i'm using my bfa and i'm like if nothing else that my vocal warm-ups have prepped me for this moment like this precise honestly i think nothing else yes so i'm like doing all the warm-ups the doctor comes in and they check me and i'm like how many centimeters am i and they look to me they're like seven and i was like three more centimeters and then i was like how long is this gonna be can you feel like down there is it just

like you can't even tell what's going on or were you like i am i've never been this open in my well it was like weird because it's like was weird because it feels almost like you're, the contractions feel like you're, it's like things are getting smaller actually. But I was like command, I was like sending, I was like command gates open, like cervix open. Like I'm thinking thoughts. I bet the doctors are like, oh, it's another theater one.

I know, I know, I know. You know these theater ones. Command gates open. It's like the moment when you're like, the Matrix came out and you're like trying to bend the spoon, you know, like like the moment when you're like the matrix came out and you're like trying to bend the spoon you know like with your mind when you're a kid anyway so i'm like trying to command my cervix to open they come in and say it's seven centimeters they say three more to go and i'm like wait how many hours is three more centimeters and they were like like five

hours oh no it's like fuck this bring in give me the drugs like get me the epidural now like we've got a playlist going these two guys come in they're full clowns like clown makeup clown car no wait but they're oh god you could tell us anything and we'd be like there's clowns at every single one of these she's like it was part of the birth plan and then max is like quick i auditioned for this fucking clown god damn it so they come in and um they're like commenting i'm like oh like going nuts like stab me in the spine with this needle and there's a playlist happening and the guy's like is this bruce springsteen and i was like yes and he was like oh my god he was like i went to a this Bruce Springsteen? And I was like, yes. And he was like, oh my God. He was like, I went to a Bruce Springsteen concert.

I was like, I don't care. And he's like, lean forward, lean forward. And I'm leaning forward. And he's like, is that all you can do? And I was like, I mean, I'm pregnant. You're pregnant. You're pregnant. This guy sounds like a real.

Is that all you got? Okay. He goes, has anybody ever told you you have scoliosis? A little bit of scoliosis? And I was like, I'm sitting'm sitting there i'm like no but i'm literally i'm like in my mind i'm like okay put it on the google calendar like must do scoliosis so what's the small in the back here then then they like finally um they get me they jab me big needle instant oh yeah max was like you don't look at that you didn't see this i'm not that freaked out by needles but i'm surprised he didn't pass out i'm almost about to throw up hearing the story then they like were like okay instant pain relief

i was like oh my god thank god i can finally like sleep and relax it had been at this point like 15 hours maybe more um lay down in the bed the doctor comes in and she's like i'm going to give you a catheter because you have to because your bladder could explode and i was like don't tell me i mean i don't i'm not fighting the catheter i'm not i'm not saying no i'm not opting out for the catheter i didn't need to know every option of what worst case scenario could be so she puts the catheter in i feel nothing i'm completely numb from the drugs from the drugs from the is it a feel-good drug or just no no just numb just epidural so like they're doing the catheter feel nothing later on i i like go to sleep i wake up

and i'm in incredible like gotta pee now pain like gotta pee now i'm looking around max is sleeping i'm looking around for the like call button and i can't see it and i'm afraid like i'm imagining i'm trying to get up and get the call button and like the needle coming out of my spine and like my spinal fluid like dripping all over the floor you know what i mean like that's what i'm imagining i'm like max nothing he's completely safe i'm like max Max. He's completely like dead asleep. Finally, a nurse comes in and I was like, oh my God, thank you. Thank, I'm so glad you're here. Something's wrong. Like, I feel like I'm going to pee. And she was like, that means the baby's coming. I was like, okay, this isn't right. Someone else comes in and I'm like, help, help, help.

I feel like I'm going to like explode explode and remember the woman had told me earlier like your bladder could burst i'm thinking back she's like that means the baby's coming finally my real nurse comes in i'm like juliet juliet tell me there's something wrong she like looks at my stomach and she's like oh no she's, your stomach is really distended. We got to get this catheter. Like we've got to get you something. The catheter is put in wrong. Another nurse comes in and they're like whispering like five feet away from me.

I can fully hear them. And the other nurse is like, who did that catheter? And then Juliet's like the doctor. Right. So they're like, they're like laughing that like I got the like shit catheter job. And I'm like, i'm like drain me drain me they sit me up and oh my god you all like just it felt like my water was breaking again but i didn't even fucking care i was just peeing all over myself yeah and it was such a relief because

i was like thank god to be peeing yeah are you peeing into nothing just to the world into the bed into the world of the bed into the world yes yeah like no care no care in my mind i just love these doctors this is just a workplace for them they're like oh doctor you know the doctor did the catheter again her stomach almost exploded and she died yeah uh so that felt that was good such a relief yeah and then you know it was like wait is the bed just soaking just filled with like probably shit and pee and everything else. Is people cleaning up the floor at least? Not yet. I don't think.

Oh God. I don't think. And Max is just asleep. Max, he did wake up. He did eventually wake up. He was like so disoriented. He was like, what's happening? He's like, we're at the hospital.

I'm giving birth. Oh my. But you know, anyway, then the baby, she came. How long was it after that? Like when you're like, okay, you're going to start pushing again or pushing three hours probably three hours until i started pushing and then the pushing was excruciating and i pushed still excruciating with the drugs oh horrible without the drugs it would have been even worse even imagine even worse it was also like so you're so exhausted i was starving it had been over 30 hours since I had eaten last. I had slept for maybe two hours in like 48 hours.

And I'm so tired. It was like, imagine running a marathon. And then at the end of the marathon, they're like, okay, now it's time for the actual marathon. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Thank you. I pushed so hard that the next day I had like what I thought was a rash all over my face. And I was was like help nurse and she was like you push so hard that you burst blood oh yeah oh my god oh my god yeah yeah yeah

i i had a friend once who like pushed too hard too hard oh yeah like to tear like there was meant there was many but like it was it went beyond like a tear thing situation it went she had to do physical therapy in her like foot and leg she had like something something happened where there were things strained and like things that happened and she and they later on were like this wasn't right they shouldn't have been like conduct like telling you to keep doing this thing after it was hours and hours and hours and and she had to do like physical therapy to like god fix her foot how much poop are we talking i have no idea but i know that i was pooping because as i was pushing i was like i'm sorry i'm pooping and the doctor kept being like it's great it's great it's what's

supposed to happen she was very reassuring. Yeah. I mean, I think, how could you not? Oh my God. Everything's so close down there. You're pushing your brains out. I've never, you know, I really haven't pooped in front of anyone in a long time. I don't think you would.

You can't be thinking about that when you're in that amount of pain, I would assume. What if it's a smelly poop? It was for sure not right. It wasn't right. Is the whole thing a smelly poop? It was for sure not right. It wasn't right. Is the whole thing a smelly situation? Like, is birth just like, oh, does the doctor come in with the Febreze? Oh, my God. God, this is a particularly smelly one.

Were these good? I mean, looking back, you're happy with the doctors and whatnot? I mean. Or do you have some notes? I think I have some notes. Don't give any extra diagnoses while I'm giving birth. It was horrible. I mean, it was pretty horrible.

I feel like you flashback and you're like, oh my God, it was like a car accident. You know what I mean? It's so traumatic. It's traumatic. What's crazy too is you describing that whole process, which is over a day long. I remember us knowing like you were gonna get induced or something yeah and i remember nicole at one point was like did just have to be a while a long time ago i was like i think it just sometimes takes a while like there was no

sort of thing in my head that that was like uh you know that's a long time to actually be doing all that stuff oh my god yeah uh so if you could go back in time and you had one minute to tell yourself some advice before, what would you, what would you say? Would you say do the drugs immediately? Eat, eat,

and maybe do the drugs immediately. I mean, you know, like, I don't know. I did it as long as I could. I kind of felt, I felt like I wanted to know what it felt like.

You know what I mean? Like I wanted to have the experience of being like, can I do this? Every woman in the history of time has done this. I felt like this weird, like, okay, ancestral connection to all the women who have come before me.

You know what I mean? And like, I just wanted to feel like I could do it. I'm part of that. Do you think about like, do you think more like, like, oh,

right. Like, you know, back in the old times in the 1600s, you're like, women just did this. And they didn't have any, they bit on wood. They bit on wood and then they died. And then they died.

So many died. Then they died a lot of times. So many died. It was crazy. Do you think you will want to have a second kid? I mean, I don't think so. We're both only children. Well, monster household we wake up and we're like bring me my coffee no no that's i mean that's mostly me max doesn't do

that um no but uh i feel like only children i don't know i would be so nervous about being like the coach like like the the the mediary between the two siblings and being like shut up stop eating your sister you know what i mean like yeah eating your sister sure yeah you know like yeah i don't i think if you had birth if you had to give birth again do you think you'd go into it being like oh fuck i know what this is now i think so i think i would be like less freaked out but everybody i mean you know they warn you but they just tell you like don't expect anything were you prepared the possibility of a c-section or like do they know in advance like no you're gonna I was pretty much thinking like I can do

this without the c-section but towards the end I was I was this close to looking at Max and being like I can't do this anymore like cut cut me open like just pull her out of me that's the point at which they were like do you want the vacuum and i was like bring the vacuum so they brought in like a whole team like another clown car arrives with like a dyson and it just sucks and it's it doesn't make a noise like a vacuum but apparently it's that's how they they got they got her out yeah because they did a vacuum to me and apparently i had like a cone head for a little bit because your head's so malleable in the beginning that like for a little bit,

I had a little bit of a point. Which way did she come out? Head first. Head first. Normal way. So did Max, there had to have been some moment where it's just your,

your sign through your puss and just the head sticking out. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to. Because that seems like it really would just be like an earth shattering. Yeah. You've never seen.

I don't think I've ever even seen a picture of that. Oh, I've seen. I've seen crowning, but not a full head. You've seen a full head? Oh, I mean, like, I feel like we watched, I watched a birth video at one point. Oh, yeah. In school or something. It's rough.

I don't think i watched the full thing but like you know like yeah i've seen that the head coming out there's some british actor who was like on a talk show and his wife had just given birth and they were like did you watch it and he was like yeah it's like watching your favorite pub burn down which i just find delightful he went down when it was further out no he was up up at that up but then they oh then they showed the baby yeah they display the really freaky white baby you know she's like covered in white yeah yeah yeah stuff and then then he and you guys didn't know yeah we didn't know whether it was a girl or a boy and they were like max it's your line go and he was like it's a uh it's a uh it's a margo that's what he said because we knew the names oh that's sweet and he he said that in the moment he like forgot what a vagina was supposed

to look like he was like it's not a penis i know that's not a penis her vagina is normal it's not like weird looking it's just a vagina and then they once she's out, do they hand her to you right away? Pretty much. They like sucked lung, like fluid out of her lungs and stuff. And then they hand her to you. And then she immediately starts like, like trying to breastfeed. Like it's like those crazy. That is so crazy.

It's insane. And this is hot goss. Your nipples in preparation for birth get really dark. Like dark. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So they're like, Russell's like, don't tell me this. No, I'm not.

I'm disgusted. No, I'm not. After this, Russell's like, all right, I guess we're having kids. I want them dark nips. They get really dark so that the baby can locate them. Oh my God. That is so fascinating. It's like a fucking bullseye.

Because you think about evolution, how they're random changes, and you're like, so one person's nipple got slightly darker and that increased the baby's survival. And they're like, yes, the baby can see it. Oh my God, that's amazing. Yeah, and then she started breastfeeding it was weird right away right away now when when when you got her did you feel were you a renewed sense of energy like now you're excited or were you just like i just want to go to sleep i think i'll deal

with this new baby later i was a little bit i was like oh my god like i was like shocked by it but i i think i immediately pretty much passed out because they gave me fentanyl after she was born so i was like the max went and got me a bagel and he took a video of me and in my mind i was like normal i watched the video the other day and i was he was like what do you got there jessica and i was like he was like what's on the bagel? I was like, I was, I was very out of it. Yeah. Where's that video? Oh, it's on his, it's, you know, in the cloud.

Send us that video. Yeah. Oh my God. I'll send it to you. Bagel. Bagel. I was high. Well, that's great.

And your baby is, your baby's adorable. She's here now. You really can't tell how baby because i looked at she has an instagram which i'm good you know i wish my parents had given me you know an account with followers yeah yeah and uh uh it's really interesting though because you i couldn't tell what she would look like from you know month one you have no idea when newborn babies they look you know parts it's all a little freaky it's a little alien yeah and uh and now she she is an adorable baby what are the weirdest things that

you've heard other people say to you as a new parent like are there weird things that you hear from people or you're not really seeing that many people so maybe you're not hearing that yeah i'm not seeing that many people i don't know that's a good question that i have no answer i would imagine if you're seeing more people regularly it would be there's weird things that would come up for new parents your baby was also very socially because i had seen some videos yeah uh it's on tiktok of like newborns yeah who have been in quarantine the whole time they've never seen another person yeah and it's like you know their aunt holding the baby for the first time the baby's like shocked. Or there's one that was very funny

where the only, other than the parents, it was the dog. And they said the baby was basically learning to be like the dog. And so the baby was crawling around putting things in its mouth like a dog. I mean, that sounds also like a baby. Yeah, it sounds like a baby.

But Margot, at this party at least, Margot was, I mean, could not have been. No one, she didn't cry really at all. No, on the this party, at least Margo was, I mean, she was hopping. Yeah. No one, she, she didn't cry really at all. No, she, on the way home,

she was literally, she was like, like screaming and just like laughing into the, into the ether. It was so, she was great. Yeah. Yeah.

But there's a guy in our neighborhood that we see every day. His, he's a really old, he's like an older guy, probably 75, 80 years old. And he's like a neighborhood guy you know he's always on the street yes his name is felix and we pass him we go on pretty much a

walk a day just to escape the monotony of me teaching zoom in the apartment like with it's just too much it's too much we got to get outside so anyway we see felix every day and every single day he's like uh you meet me at the monkey room, which is the bar. So he tells Margo to meet him at the bar on the corner. So that maybe is the weirdest interaction that she's had. What is it like? I mean, so many people want to hold the baby. Yeah.

Do you, is there anyone you're like, oh i i don't want them to hold the baby you i certainly have that nervousness i have a nervousness where someone be like chamarco you've dropped your phone a lot no honestly my husband drops things way too much like in the kitchen i'm like five four three and then he always drops something i mean literally every time he's in the kitchen oh no so we did have a sort of like you know we were like this is scary just don't just baby knock on wood he hasn't dropped her yet yeah my mom she dropped my sister like on the stairs my mom fell and like my sister when she was a baby had a broken leg or something and i like i'm pretty sure it's one of those things that my mom has a deep, like one of those things my mom would never want me to talk about on a podcast.

Let me. Deep shame. Let me tell you something even worse. Uh oh. My dad got run over by a car by his mom. Oh my God. By his mom? She was backing out of the driveway and he was like a two or three year old and opened the door and the car wheel

rolled over his head he still has a scar on the top of his head from it and it was like one of those things we were like how did that baby not die do you know what i mean you're like how is it like and i i gotta imagine the whole weight of the thing like it had to have maybe like clipped the head but like but like a clip it can't the head would have yeah yeah yeah like but he has a scar on his head from it and just like imagine the guilt you would feel like i'm imagining open the uh opening the car door and seeing the baby's head has exploded on the side it's my dad he's still alive um uh but that is i just can't when i think of like feeling a guilt of like you're like running your kids if my baby was young enough

i would not tell the baby about it i'd be like i told my husband well he had a lot of siblings he had a lot of siblings and so it was like he was like not the oldest so there was like plenty of people around to be like oh no mom it's just crazy thing of a time where people would have 12 kids partially because a bunch of them died yeah yeah my dad's one of nine my dad's one of 12 yeah whoa that is so many that's too many kids they would just one they would one woman they worked on a farm but they he's not mormon you thought like several well it was just one woman but yeah they they uh they were like a farm family and um and they had one bus that picked up them and one other family because it was like oh they both had like 12 kids you know i just can't for school to go through pregnancy that much i mean were there parts that you enjoyed were there parts that like

i guess from the outside perspective i'm like oh fuck this must you must there must be a five month period where you like can't fucking do anything or you get tired or yeah it's i mean pregnancy is like not it wasn't some women have it really rough i mean like the biggest thing that i had was like my i was so swollen that i couldn't take my rings off like it was August and I was like I am a sausage it was so bad but I kind of liked the like kicking and stuff that was pretty cool like having an alien inside your body yeah that was independent of you so weird and now I have phantom kicks have you heard about this yeah no so like every once in a while it's purely just gas but I'll be like oh my god I'll feel like it's purely just gas, but I'll be like, oh my God, I'll feel like it's like the exact feeling of when she was like really small kicking.

Yeah. It's crazy. So now you're getting used to being a parent as the world reopens. Yeah. You said here, this is the first time you've like done chores outside with the baby. No, I mean, you know, it's's like one of the one of the first times that we're like running a bunch of errands and one day you know went to the dermatologist this morning it's really thrilling yeah have you gotten the scoliosis checked out yet

no it's on my to-do list i don't think you have it i think that's so funny i know he said that to you right then in the middle of me just being like so i was watching the boss at the garden once and uh oh fuck you got something wrong with your spine over here get this checked out oh god oh god i hate that stuff um well uh now we we're gonna go into a section called this has got to stop i don't know if i told you about this i don't think i did we talk about like something uh uh you know that that needs to stop uh like uh give an example we'll do our examples did you think of one since you had no phone on the train you didn't fucking know we gotta play the music is this right nope that was one time this has got to stop this is where we talk about things that need to

stop in the world uh russell you go first because i don't wait no if i thought of one minute okay you know what actually just a reminder for the people listening because these are the patreon people please submit this is gotta stop russell and i are gonna do some episodes where we we talk about your this has got to stop so email uh you the Patreon, right? Or the downside wgs at gmail.com. I realized I didn't do it. This has got to stop today. I did it. This has got to start,

um, which is not the same thing. We can do it, but I'm going to do, this has got to start. Okay. So, you know,

when like there's been a scandal that happens and like you're on Twitter and you're like, what happened? What was said? And you can't figure it out quite. It takes you too on twitter and you're like what happened what was said and you can't figure it out quite it takes you too long like you you're scrolling through things you're going to read it so last night you texted me about something and i'm like i'm looking on last night i texted russell there was like a my one of my favorite comics anthony jeselnik was on his podcast and

he talked about some big name comic went on a show went up before him went way over the light didn't want to introduce him there she doesn't like him and and then started talking mad shit like and she fucking she's the she didn't even say she he was like they're the fucking worst fucking comic and it was very exciting i was like who is it who is it and i i texted you it is it was leslie jones so so but it was one of those things where you're trying to get the story and the drama and the the gossip like and it just takes too long to get to yeah so i i'm like twitter doesn't have it really reddit sometimes is better there's got to be an app this has got to start there's got to be an app where you can easily plug in the latest gossip the latest drama one or two keywords and it will

give you a quick synopsis of of the story so you have it and you don't have to go to five different places looking for what's reddit saying what's twitter saying blah blah because i also don't want the commentary right away from people i want to hear what's the general story and then i'll go to twitter and get people's opinions or red. So it needs to be like an app where it just summarizes what it is without a lot of opinion on it. And then you can then find out people's opinions. So like the news.

Yes, but for gossip. But for trash. For gossip, trash. The problem is like TMZ is kind of like that, but they mix it up with like, you know, Kim Kardashian studying for law school. And I'm like, no, I just want, i get it like two sentences two sentences very simple because sometimes that is on twitter yeah when you're like when you're when you're scrolling on trend

on a trending thing sometimes that is there but not enough and sometimes it's not you know what honestly what would be hard about the app is usually it's like very small drama new york comedy scene drama that i want to find out about it's not like it's not like i don't care about what's happening kim kardashian it's not like that it's like it's like very you're not not like a bus exploding it's somewhere and all these kids die yeah yeah so that's what's got to start for me okay cool well i'm gonna go with the original version of the segment called this has got to stop since i put a lot of thought into it. And This Has Got to Stop. So I won this comedy competition on Zoom.

And the prize was $500. And so the whole competition, the tickets all went to like a brain research fund. And I won this competition. And so he wrote me or he called me. Seems like an obvious connection. He called me and he was like, so how would you would you like to you know receive the payment i was like venmo he was like great and um would you like to donate any portion of your winnings to the brain foundation and i was like what the fuck dude what the fuck i mean no just and then and then he's listed he said you know some comics

in the past have donated all of it some comics 200 100 some comics well i guess there haven't been any comics that didn't donate anything but but you know i would understand i know it's a tough time for comedians to make money that is so crazy so unfair and it was and then he talked about the foundation i mean it's just no listen here's here's some money just so you know they're you know do you know that children are run over by steamrollers every day and like you know they're very flat and we could use a little air to inflate them could you give any money back so i gave a hundred dollars wow that's that's generous and i was like about very generous i said 50 like commission you know in my head i'm like commission to the brain the brains you're not

selling what they do either because like the brain foundation does not sound like a real organization yeah the brain you know the brain foundation also like there's enough people probably researching the brain i just feel like it's like sounds like a very general thing i just don't think it's it's one of these things i think with stand-up comedy which is like notoriously it's an underpaid profession and you're constantly being asked to like you know perform for free for charities and donate and you want to but part of you is like you you understand like you know we're not paid to begin with can we not have a little money yeah can this not be a real job you know like, you understand, like, you know, we're not paid to begin with. Can we not have a little money?

Yeah. Can this not be a real job? You know, no one. It's not like they're doing it for people that are like millionaires. Of course. When the CEOs get their fucking payment, like, here's your 24 million. Just so you know, there's still a hunger crisis in the world. Do you want to give any of your salary?

They're like, Seinfeld, here's $500. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So I just think it's, I just think like, if it's a prize, it's a prize. You give the prize. give any of your salary seinfeld here's 500 and we want you know what i mean yeah yeah so i just think it's i just think like if it's a prize it's a prize you give the prize and leave it up to me sure no that's yeah you're this is a fixation for you i feel like you're you know what money no no it's like you know cancer research you know the sketch that you wrote yeah it's very um it's very hot i think it's weird it's weird where we ask people to donate and it's again it's just like what about the people who own this company sure what about the guy who runs this comedy festival i'm sure

he's rolling in it runs comedy festivals yeah is it multi-millionaire that's how he got to the top as he said no he said i will not i shall take all of that 500 for myself but i think 100 was a good donation that's very generous yeah it's the same but the same it's the same with gofundmes i mean i think about gofundmes all the time we do it you know yeah where we give money and we're like good this person raised but why do they need to go to a gofundme yeah how much did the birth cost by the way oh j. All covered by the government or? Mostly. Although we do keep getting like random, you know, like $200 here and like $500,000 here. And I keep being like.

That scoliosis diagnosis cost an extra $20,000. Yeah. So I think Margo's paid off at this point. I just paid the last $180. And you got some extra stimulus money for Margo, right? I did. Yes, we did. That's good. How much extra? I think it's like

$200 a month or something like that. $250 a month now. That must cover everything she needs. Everything. All of it. Everything she needs is in that $250. So do you have a this has got to stop now? It could be baby related. It could be anything. See, the thing is

I was like, okay as like a new mom i was like the last thing i want to do is like talk about only mom stuff and here i am talking about only mom stuff so okay i'm gonna do this it's gotta stop this is so stupid and niche but like youtube videos where you like look something up and they play they're like hi my name is john and i'm going to do a youtube video about how to and and I'm like, no, no, no. That's why I'm here. Like I looked up the information. I'm here. You want to start with step one. Exactly. I don't need to know like, this is like produced by blah, blah, blah. Like I don't want to know that. I just, Hey guys, you ever trying to cook a, cook a artichoke and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the pan's on. Also it is like, then if it's a computer thing and you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah it's the pan's on also it is like then if

it's a computer thing they're like okay so we're gonna go to our computer we're gonna use our mouse and you're and it's like no obviously we're in the system you don't need to open up like garage or whatever it is that'd be funny it's like oh we're a little bit over let me just restart my computer here we'll see if that fixes it. I think that's a great one. That's really good. What have you been looking up recently? Oh, you know, like Final Cut stuff. So when you import like the new iPhone videos into Final Cut, it's all.

It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare for auditions. Yeah, it's HDR. So you have to like do. I found it. I found the solution. I'll send you a link. Okay.

I've been having to do it on my phone. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. But this guy, you know, he's like, hi, my name is Tevye. I would like to blah, blah, blah. That's wonderful. Tevye, an Israeli guy. My name is Tevye.

All right. Now we go to our final segment. I think I got this. You better count your blessings i have a bone to pick with douglas though oh he posted on his instagram story he's like if i wanted to see your tweets i'd get a twitter account and i was like i literally was like that was directed at john mark i know it was so shitty uh yeah that was not for anybody else too well i didn't start anything this was out of nowhere well here's what i resolved two things one i was gonna do it

because he always posts pictures of his what song he's listening to and i could easily say hey if i want to know what fucking music you were listening to i go to your spotify piece of shit and here's what my deal i've decided from now on whenever i post tweets which a lot of people do i will tag him in every single one till the end of fucking time so that's that's my resolution but this is about blessings this is about a nice thing so uh i'll go first i had a zoom show last night and I did not advertise. I do like once a month. I do an hour. And in the beginning, people showed up. They were excited and interest has waned.

Yes. And I forgot to advertise this one. I did it very last minute. So only two people showed up. The host stayed, which is very sweet. It's with a company called Bonfire. And these two women, Jodi Kamon and Talia Fetter, they're Jews in Toronto. I guess there's a lot of Jewish folks in Toronto. And they're friends. And they showed up. And it was like a delightful show. I got to run an hour of new stuff. They were present. They were engaged.

They were laughing. They were fun. They were Jewish, so I got to do all my Jewish material. I'm partly saying a shout out to them because I'm thinking maybe I can get them to join the Patreon. I'm going to send this clip specifically to them and say, hey, if you want to hear it. But they're very nice. That's so nice.

I don't know what my career is looking like, but to have people who like you and know your work, it's a, it feels very nice. Sure. And I'm very appreciative for them. And,

uh, please join the Patreon. Yeah. Um, Russell. Um, my blessings today. So like I said before,

I, I, I dropped my phone, didn't have headphones on for the train ride, which was, you know, at first you're like, Oh,

I just got to have the headphones on and then i had a really nice new york subway ride today without them and it was like really quiet and peaceful at first then a mariachi band got on and they played this beautiful sad song like a sad mariachi song and it was like but it was like so lovely and then what was really great about it like just when you were like okay this is so lovely but also like it's gone on now for a few minutes like i'm good there a fight broke out between like an older like russian man and this woman and uh because she was talking during the mariachi he was not happy about that and then she's like i'm just making jokes i'm making people laugh and no she wasn't but like it was like one of the it was just like

a nice place this voice that you just did i'm trying to picture the person it was just like an older woman okay she had a big fan like a really big fan and uh this older and a full like southern belle outfit yeah yeah yeah she... No, she just looked like an old New York woman. But she... So I wasn't really doing a good voice for her. But she was saying she was just making people laugh. And she wasn't. But it was really funny.

It was a lovely moment in New York. And then you're like, oh, these people are fighting. And it was just nice. It was a nice fight. They weren't really fighting. No one was scared for their lives. There were no stakes. It was very... But it was just like nice sure it was just like it was a nice fight they weren't really fighting no one was scared there were no yeah there was no there were no stakes it was very but it was like it was like i was glad to have seen it and it was nice and it was like a nice new york thing you know um jessica what's your what's your blessing you could talk maybe a specific thing happened at at the school that you teach at a student said something

nice to you your max did something or your baby did something very specific oh well she's starting to say mama oh only when she's upset or needs something so she's like and i'm sorry is that mama because that sounded more like just no the other day we um we're monsters so we have like i drew these portraits of us and they're hanging in our living room because i'm a monster you drew portraits yes i have me and max and all of our family they're they're pretty good i would say they're actually quite good and margo like recognized us and while i was teaching the other day max said she was like reaching for for the portrait of me like figured out that it was me and was like oh that's cool crazy yeah so blessings to her do you think she thought that was you i maybe she

thought that that she would have started breastfeeding that painting and ruined it that's actually a really complicated question i have no idea like was that yeah i don't know are you really like are you reading like at this stage they do this are you like i'll just see it i've got apps you know you check the apps yeah and you're like okay yeah they're kind of doing this stuff well good yeah well i'm i'm glad everything's good with your baby oh my god i'm glad russell didn't drop her on the roof like his phone into the toilet yeah i'm glad you didn't throw her off the roof yeah I'm glad um this is the downside and we should remember that uh while babies are beautiful and adorable they will eventually become fucked up adults with lots

of problems and undoubtedly will resent you for something you don't even know you're doing already and and then like our parents will die and then they'll die and the universe will ultimately implode no not tova no that's the wrong one sorry now we have no we have to say another sad thing to go out um no that was perfect that was perfect yeah well you fucked it up. What do you mean? You try what I do. Say something sad. Oh, okay.

I'll try something. I always feel bad about that because I understand the joke of it, but I don't feel that way like you do. So, okay. But I'm going to try to do it. Go for it. Okay. So, wow.

Good show, everyone. Good show, everyone. so wow good show everyone good show everyone uh the only thing that could make this better is if we all could stay together forever in this room but we can't because you only have fleeting moments of happiness with your friends before you um die or they die or you find new better friends i didn't like doing that i don't like doing that great job no it's been my pleasure i gradually decreased this and we just talked we had a fun time oh so fun so fun your story your birthing story is so funny