The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #115 Give Me All Your Money with Rafi Bastos

Episode Date: December 20, 2022

Rafi Bastos shares the downsides of getting mugged at gunpoint, introducing Brazil to stand-up comedy, moving to Nebraska to play division 2 basketball, making love to your pregnant wife, getting sued for jokes, and Gianmarco’s favorite subject: kissing dads. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Listen to our live weekly show on AMP, every Tuesday at 4 PM ET. Follow Rafi Bastos on Instagram and YouTube Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram See Russell in Titanique through February 2023! E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you said your kid had night terrors as well? It was horrible. What would... Baby? Yeah. As a baby, what would happen? How do you know? He would scream,

because when I put him in my arms, I would hug my kid, it wouldn't make a difference. Yeah. So it's like he wasn't listening to me. Yeah. So he would scream and scream and scream like crazy, and there's nothing I could do i just have

to wait yeah and it took me a time to say oh this is not a nightmare because if you're in a nightmare you wake up and yeah it's okay so he saw it was horrible she screamed with where his eyes closed how old were you no no no he was looking at me oh god i don't it i'm pretty sure like in the past people think there's that's the devil right sure there's nothing you can do you could talk to the kid because looking at you screaming and screaming and looking at you like you're hugging he doesn't let you hug him and he grew out of it yeah it went away yeah yeah oh my god that must be tough when you're he was possessed maybe he was sure maybe the devil just was like back in the day they they bring this this fucking crazy baby to a priest and he's like oh jesus what do you want me to do yeah yeah well

i imagine what's uh hard about that too is that you're like it doesn't have probably didn't happen every night no you're like if you have that problem you're like no trust me he goes crazy something like a parent like yeah yeah it's you gotta catch them on the right night you know but can you imagine like before the medicine discovered all of that can you imagine how challenging it was like for a lot of different things that now are pretty easy to solve yeah like can you imagine before people discover the c-section yeah yeah oh i think is there medicine for night terrors for children no there's no, but people know it's a night terror. So, you know, you just have to wait, you know, because in the past, you see a kid screaming, you think, oh, he's dying.

Yeah. I thought about that when my dad had open heart surgery and they move an artery from the leg to the heart. And I just think about the leg is definitely not the first place they went. First, they tried the shoulder. They died. They tried the eyeball they were blind and then they died really close to like closer to the heart they probably tried they worked their way down um you know it's uh during nazism they did a lot of like crazy research sure with jewish people's bodies. And there's a huge discussion if we are able to use those discoveries,

you know, because it's completely like elite. Oh, interesting. So there's a huge discussion in a medical community. If like they were test, how much you can get burned before you die. Oh my God.

Those little things, you know, they would test, like they would try to put an arm from a guy to another guy's arm. They would do like those, all of those crazy researches.

So there was, for a long time, there was a discussion in the medical community if they could use those data. Sure, you don't want your research. Nazis had discovered

the cure for all cancers. And we're like, we can't use it though. Oh, we're in a real bind here. Because they have to like, with a research paper, like, well, this was proven by Hitler. He was the head doctor doing all these experiments. I feel like that's a perfect, to get into our music, this is The Downside.

One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Down the downside with john marco cerezi welcome everyone to the downside this is a show where we celebrate the negatives we we let ourselves complain we let ourselves talk about the sad things like uh the the medical miracles discovered during the Holocaust. During the Holocaust. My name is DeMarcus Reza. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. And we are joined today by stand-up comedian, actor, writer, director, Rafi Bastos. Thanks for inviting me, guys.

I'm very happy to be here with you. It's very nice. We met during the outdoor stand-up New York shows during the COVID. It was before. I never did the outdoors. You never did the outdoors? No, because I was in Brazil. My visa.

I wasn't allowed to be here during the pandemic. We met on Gotham on those Friday night shows that Milhouse used to do. Remember? Yes, yes. In the second room. I was watching you with my wife. And the show was kind of difficult. But we were like, at this guy he's pretty good right she was like yeah yeah it's pretty funny so i do remember that now yes yeah i remember that that was good when kovac started i do remember when i was funny that day i remember i do remember being funny that day. When COVID started, you were in Brazil, like in March?

I was here. You were here. And then what happened? When did they say, you got to get the fuck out? I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to go back home because they were shutting down airports. Yeah. And I have a kid in Brazil.

Oh, yeah. So I was like, I cannot spend what I was thinking, like six months without seeing my kid. But then it became two years. Yeah. How long were you gone for? I was there for two years. For two years.

And they were closed for every visa, but green cards. And after a while, they started to open for tourism. But I have a work visa. So for two years, i wasn't able to come back i was stuck in brazil doing shows in portuguese war yeah but you were doing your club was still open then yeah i closed my club at the beginning of the pandemic uh-huh well as soon as it reached brazil i was like yeah dude you know we're gonna have to shut down like with 25 employees paying every month so you're like ah that's not gonna work so we shut down. We have 25 employees paying every month.

So we're like, that's not going to work. So we shut down the club. So just because I know, or I'll say, stand-up comedy is pretty new in Brazil. You kind of paved the way. It is pretty new. We started in 2004, 2003, 2004. Stand-up, the art form started in 2004 in Brazilzil wow not a lot of english speakers in brazil so i think yeah that's probably part of the reason why stand-up didn't spread as much you said seinfeld was like the first the rest of it yeah that was the reference when we went up on

stage at the beginning the way that we would explain to people what stand-up was was oh did you know the opening, like, on Seinfeld episode, that he goes on stage, and he said, yeah, this is what we are going to do right now. This is what we, the way that we had to explain it. But the thing is, we didn't have access to stand-up. Because this is not an art form that you export, that you used to export to the world.

Yeah, yeah. You know, we get music, we get movies, we get, I don't know, even theater, but we don't get like stand-up before YouTube. Sure. Which was, YouTube was born in 2005. So how could we watch stand-up? Yeah.

And it's just tougher to translate, especially Seinfeld. It would be tough to translate to a different language. how come you get in the train but on the bus yes like in in brazil's like well we don't use any of those words so we don't have buses yeah i'm sorry we don't have that yeah but it's difficult to translate yeah and siphon is even to translate to this era i think also you know sure So it's like those things change a lot. And for us, it was at the beginning, it was difficult because we couldn't watch anything. There was nothing.

Yeah. So what happened was, in 1999, I came here to America. I got a scholarship to play basketball. Basketball. And where were you living? Nebraska. Nebraska. Wow.

Which part? Lincoln? No. It wasn't a small city close to Wyoming. It was like a 3,000 people city. It was like a small city. And you're 6'7"? Is that right?

6'6", 6'7". 6'6". I mean, that's not... For basketball, that's not crazy. No, no. Were you, so the scholarship to play like at a college? Yes, NECAA Division II. And did you think at that moment that you could be in the NBA?

My friend, yeah. Yeah? You think. Yeah. You can think. But of course, I was very far away from the NBA. I wasn't that good. I wasn't that good.

Well, was it a shock when you got to America? Were you like, oh, fuck, people are really good here? People are very athletic here. Yeah. That's the difference. I wouldn't say crazy good. Because you can see the foreigners. They're pretty good.

Sure. I don't know, like 100 foreigner basketball players so i used to play with those but like this guy like jumping like above the rim and above the rim yeah yeah yeah that's too much that's that's something that it's america you know how did they find you how did nebraska find you in brazil you know uh let's see nobody ever asked me that that's a good question yeah how can they find i sent uh vhs tapes to i don't know like 12 colleges here in america but i was like i'm gonna send to division two because division one is like the next step is the n. I don't think I'm that good. Yeah. So I sent to a few Division II schools and I did a little tour in America

visiting those schools. They have like a system that you can go to a school and spend two days with them and they put you in their dorms. It's a whole system that they have when they want to bring in a student. You can stay for two days.

It's the law. You cannot stay more, but you can visit the school and I practice with the team to see how good I was. So I had a few to choose and I chose the one in the middle of the country. I was like, you know, I want to learn English. I want to be

like outside of all speaking, Spanish speaking people. I really wanted to speak english so that's why i chose nebraska what goes on the tape is it you playing basketball with others or is it you like on a court by yourself yeah me doing this with me for 30 minutes so it's like it's like game footage it's game footage and me like like just like like shooting and doing a few drills. Yeah, it just seems hard to assess anything. Like I feel like I could put up a highlights reel,

just me from like the half court shot and the one time I make it like backwards. Yeah. Whoa. Amazing. Yeah. But I put some footage of me on the court too. Yeah, that's good. But I was crazy because I couldn't speak English when I got here.

And it was very difficult to get instructions on the court. It was horrible. It was horrible. And also, I was 22 years old. Oh, you were a little older. I was older. Here's the thing with the sports. I was older.

Here's the thing with the sports. If you are in college, everywhere in the world, a clock starts to count, and you have five years to play. Yeah. So the big problem was not basketball itself, because I was doing pretty well. I would have a little bit of a college career here. I didn't play the whole four years, but I told them that i never went to college but i was already graduated i was i was graduated in journalism

oh i couldn't say this to them because if they found out that i was in college the clock would start to count like five years prior and i wouldn't be able to play so i gave them my high school transcripts they knew how old you were though they knew they knew but just because you hadn't gone to college they said okay okay wow i told them i'm from a third world country i had to work for four years five years i wasn't able to go to school they were like oh so that that works so that's brazil a third world country did you play i don't think we use those expressions anymore but yeah america came up with that to label others it's a poor country did you did you play basketball in college in brazil when your journal there's no

college basketball outside of america uh sports are connected to clubs and teams more than school and high school. And there's not that big of a connection between sports and learning. I got to say, that feels correct. Yeah. The attachment between sports and learning feels strange. I think it's strange when a college is just like to beef up their football team. They let in someone that they wouldn't let another.

It's just a strange mix of priorities. But also, it's a good opportunity that a lot of people have to go to school. Absolutely. Like getting scholarships. Some people wouldn't be able to pay for those schools. But these schools, I think there's been a lot of lawsuits recently Absolutely. Like getting scholarships. Some people wouldn't be able to pay for those schools. But these schools, I think there's been a lot of lawsuits recently with the NCAA where these kids don't make money.

And the NCAA is making insane piles of money. So you know what they're doing right now? They are getting those athletes and treat them as influencers. So business around the school school they give money to them to do like a post or something yeah yeah that's the way they have to actually give them money without paying them to play basketball sure sure it's crazy yeah but yeah it's very unfair like schools are getting like millions and millions of dollars and those athletes they're getting hurt some of them are getting hurt like for the rest of their lives

I think that when I read if I haven't corrected it was like someone sued because they were their likeness was used in a video game and they didn't get any money from this multi-multi

and they're like well if you mix money with the sports the athletes won't be in it for the love of the game and I go shut the fuck up shut the fuck up coach you're not in it for the

love of coaching or the love of teaching colleges. Fuck you. Oh, my God. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain. From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the buzziest films at Sundance Film Festival, A Real Pain. Written, directed, and starring Oscar nominee Jesse Eisenberg,

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So, so you tell us, I don't know much anything about Brazil. What are the, what are the downsides of Brazil? The downsides? Well, it's a poor country. It's a very violent country. Okay. It's like, there's a lot of violence because. Is it tied to drugs?

Is it tied to. Around that? Like, was that part of your. You do. It was not part of my. I was always a middle class kid. My father is a doctor. But being a doctor in Brazil doesn't mean that you have like money or anything else.

He was working in a public hospital. So I was a middle class kid I studied in a private like the the lowest private school class like the the first level of a private school but I had a chance to the fact that I was born in a country like Brazil I think bring me like a perspective of the world that I really, I really enjoy the fact that I was born there. It's a country with a lot of nice people. People hug, people kiss, people are loving,

friendly. Let's talk about kiss. Cause I talk about kissing like, like who kisses, do guys kiss each other? Hello. Kiss on the cheek. We,

if I'm very good friends with you, I kiss you in the cheek. Yeah. I can kiss you. I don't have to. Yeah. It's not something that every time you see someone. It would be fun if you had to. You have to.

You have to. I'm sorry. We've never. This is my house. You never. We have to. You didn't kiss me. My friend Chris and I, we kiss.

We're Italian. So it feels a little natural. I don't think we've ever kissed. You've never kissed my cheek. I can start. I'm open to it. Okay. We'll try it for the Patreon.

Not every day, but when we're like, you know. When things are good or bad. Yeah. I love kisses. I love a good kiss. I know. Do you kiss your dad? I kiss my dad, yeah.

Cheek or a lip peck? No, no, no, no. My dad and I, we do a lip peck. Yeah, I saw you talking on stage. But we do. I was just visiting him. You still do? Oh, yeah.

It feels so natural to me. If I step back, I can be like you. I'm pretty sure it's not even natural in Italy. You think in Italy they'd be like you I'm pretty sure it's not even natural in Italy you think in Italy they'd be like ask some Italian people because I think that's something

that your father told you oh no if an Italian said to me like ew what the fuck is that that's not Italian I've been walking around

saying I'm Italian yeah I make out with my father it's Italian you're like no no it's I just saw him for Thanksgiving

and it's like it's more natural than my mom's less physically intimate. So like my mom and I, we'd probably do a peck on, on the lips once, once in a while, but it, it's not this,

my dad, it's like, it's like, you know, flows like, but do you kiss your friends? Uh, no,

I would more. I would more. I think there's like, I think, uh, with guys, I'll do a peck on the cheeks and I'm not even touching the cheek. Yeah.

With women I feel like it's a whole ball game of like I am so anxious to not make any woman feel uncomfortable anymore. But I think if I didn't have that I would do a lot more cheek kisses. I would never kiss a woman friend if Tova saw me kiss any

woman on the cheek my girlfriend I'd be in trouble. I'd be in trouble. Head kiss, for sure. What is a head kiss? Head kiss. You know, like Jessica, I've probably a hug and a kiss on the head. You think your girlfriend would be jealous? No, a head kiss would be okay.

I just think she'd just be like. What is a head kiss? Come here, Russell. Or you get head kiss would be okay. I just think she'd just be like... What is a head kiss? Come here, Russell. Or you get head or you get kiss. No, he's saying if you hug and then you kiss. If I was hugging and I was like, I love you, buddy. On the head.

No, I just like... I do that with probably... I probably do that with a couple of female... What's up? I said I'm going to contact HR, by the way you're gonna call page hey we got it on page from two different angles finally i was brought here just for this make him watch oh i'm getting 20 of this lawsuit um kissing here is the the thing that is very uncomfortable for me here yeah exactly what you're saying the uncomfortability of what do i do if i see a woman or a guy because my

my first instinct with when someone introduced me to a woman is always kiss her on the cheek that's what we do on my state we do three two, three. Are the lips in the air or are they touching the cheek? No, usually you don't put your mouth in their cheek. But if it happened, it wouldn't be like that. Not a problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you shake woman's hand like you're closing a deal. It's weird.

It's weird. Yeah, if I tried to... You have to be pretty close with a woman to do a side a side kiss cheek Lindsay and I I feel like we're friendly enough

that we might do a hug with a kiss in the air yeah but but yeah that's so in Brazil you kiss on kiss on the cheek

you do three and is it a long intro in my state we do three usually we do we do two one and two that's what you do with a woman. Usually, you do two. One and two.

That's what you do with a woman. With a guy, you hug. I don't see hugs here. I don't see hugs. Again, I think like a chain, like I like hugs. Yeah, we hug. And I think in general, I've had another male friend who was like, was shocked at how affectionate our group of male friends from Uncle Function were. What'd they say?

Well, they were just like, I thought you guys were doing a bit and how nice you are to each other. That's men. Men see men being nice to each other and go like, what's the joke? And like hugging and like, you know, like kissing, you know, like being like, you know, very affectionate in terms of like when. And they were like, I didn't realize like they had never seen people be that. We're also actors like my mom saw me. This is pre-TOVA, but there was a friend of friend of ours. I think I can say it because he was in Titanic.

Ken was in Titanic. Oh, yeah. And his wife. We went to theater school together we were four years of weird exercises and massaging and all things and she saw me like give her

a hug and my mom was like are you to your fucking mind her husband was right there like it was just like a it was just a real it was just like a long like you know hug and my mom was like you're gonna get killed you're gonna get shot by and i can and i was i was like no he's no we're theater

people we hug we need more physical but there's a thing with hugging especially i i don't host much anymore but like sometimes you hug when you see the host on stage. You do a little hug. Yeah. But I know from like women's accounts that like, you know, any woman with like big boobs, she goes through the world and every guy seems to want to hug her. I don't think so. Oh, yes. Yes.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry. And I think there's a degree of like. I don't want to. I don't know because I don't have a big big boobs big boobs so

maybe yeah maybe that's every guy is just like oh that's so weird the principal hugged me and the priest hugged me and the rabbi hugged me and so

maybe I'm being unfair okay I don't know but there's a degree where it's just like I really I really have to see the body I don't really go for the hug

unless they're really volunteering it women on stage all the time i mean speaking for women in this moment but but they i they'll notice that the the host will always put the hand on the back as they come on stage there's just all sorts of things that some guys probably do it subconsciously and it's it's i just but it's tough because I do feel like we should live in a more physically intimate world in general yeah but it's men

fuck it up yeah you think so fuck it up oh yeah yeah yeah yeah they're giving 10 kisses as they come on stage

and they're like there's no culture that has 10 in my country we suck dicks like people are like this is my country this is Nigeria

and they're like yeah I don't know this is my country, we suck dicks. People are like, this is Nigeria. I don't know if this is what we do. So Brazil, it's poor. You grew up in an okay home. It's poor. The thing with Brazil and a few other countries is that there's the difference between the poor and the rich. It's too big. Middle class. Yeah, we do have a middle class,

but it's not that big. When the country is developing, the middle class is growing. We are living in a moment right now, the left is again in power because we had this right-wing guy for four years. Bolsonaro. And he was, yeah, this just recently happened. Yeah.

I mean, I tried. So far, I listened to so much news and I barely remember any of it. But Bolsonaro, he kept getting COVID. He wouldn't confirm if he was vaccinated or not. He was coughing in his hand and shaking people, old people's hands. He was like, that was a whole thing.

He was against the vaccine. He wasn't using masks. He was, until the last day in power he was trying to convince people to use uh chloroquine yeah okay yeah yeah he bought so much chloroquine he was telling people to go and fucking work just leave the house and people are like no we can't that's yeah and then this guy who is now press is president that's the title yeah he's now president he was in jail yeah for corruption briefly and uh do you like this this guy i like him you like when he went to jail where

you like uh i don't it's it's difficult but i i kind of like him yeah yeah. We lived maybe a few good years with this guy when he was our president. The whole corruption is not a creation. It really happened. Sure. Unfortunately, in a country like Brazil, to run the country, you have to kind of play the game. I'm not excusing the fact that he was corrupt and he did much more than he should.

I think the party stole a lot of money, and I completely agree with that. But he is a guy that I feel thinks about the people. Economically, I think we are going to suffer the next few years because I think he's going to spend a lot of money helping the country to actually, you know, try to come back. And the way they do it, it's like giving money to the poor hands. So it's not like, it's kind of a weird way to do it. But at the same time, it's the only guy that we had that actually thought about the people and he wants to conserve the rainforest

because that was a big Bolsonaro thing Bolsonaro said burn it to the ground one of his secretaries was a guy like he was negotiating with the people

burning the trees and the Amazon there's the rainforest like is that something like oh I Dave did you ever go to a hiking spot of the rainforest wouldn't care less you couldn't care less i couldn't i think it's beautiful yeah we have to preserve it

it just sounds like one of those things like a bad guy would want to burn down do you know what i mean like we're like we're like you're yeah you're like it's almost like a cartoonish thing yeah it's a it's a cartoonishly bad to be like, Rainforest burned down. I don't care. Burned down. It just sounds so, like, oh, why? You know, like, why?

That seems like it's a bad idea. Do people take trips to the rainforest? Yeah. You never went to see a monkey? But they always say, like... Don't you want to see a monkey in the wild? Maybe. But they always say that...

I think the thing I always hear about the rainforest is like there's could be they've only explored like a one percent of what the rainforest is the ocean i don't know one percent of the rainforest no but there's like there's like a thing of like potential like medicine medicinal things and and that could be discovered that they don't know. Yes, yes. And I feel like that's what they always say about the rainforest. But that's me. I don't like to go to the beach.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a big carnival that happens in Brazil, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's like the one carnival. The carnival. Yeah, because I'm a big fan of New Orleans. The way you ask me is like, it like big like it is in New Orleans yeah

yeah it's the one yeah so when does that happen there it happened like two weeks ago really yeah is it the same time of year

every year yeah like February March and is the whole country involved oh it stops yeah

we don't work all stops for how long during four days four days four days we don't work the whole country

yeah that's fun that's what we don't have stuff like that no we don't country stop that's where i was like when i went to mardi gras in new orleans this last year it's just one one real day where everything stops i mean they do it's a week of stuff happening but but in terms of like the whole city stopping no one working except for in the service industry. But I was like, even one day where the whole city stops was like, holy shit,

this is a, more people should do it. It's like, it's such a communal thing that is so, like, you get to see your neighbors, you get to see people,

you get to connect. It's like, it's so communal and it's crazy that more people don't, more cities, countries, whatever. It's good to have a long holiday. more people don't, more cities, countries, whatever. It's good to have a long holiday. Back to why Brazil is poor.

Taking a four-day carnival vacation. Also, New Orleans makes a shit ton of money. And we have 35 carnivals during the year. Yeah, but think about all the tourist money and stuff. People go to that to experience it. You make a lot of money in tourism. You're the one talking

good things about Brazil and I'm the one cheating on Brazil. That's not fair. I'm gonna be murdered when people watch this. Well, no, I just have seen

the things from it. It looks incredible. It is. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful party. Everybody gets involved. Even kids, we have this little kids party

where people dress as like, I don't know, Indians and then, and they dress as like I don't know Indians and they dress as like a fairy. Wait I'm sorry what do you mean Indians? Like Native Americans you mean? No not Americans but Native Brazilians. Native Brazilians. And they call them Indians?

Yeah. In Brazil? Yeah. Wait hold up I have to learn. Wait Native Brazilians. Yes. Why do they call them Indians? I thought the reason that the term Indian was used

was because Christopher Columbus thought that this was India okay and that's the reason we got rid of it because we said we can't

you can't call people Indians for your mistake of they're Native Americans it's called Indians Indians what's their is their culture similar at all to Native Americans

in America? No, no. It's a little different. It's a little different. Less clothes. Less clothes? Yeah. Let me show you some pictures.

Please, show us. It's different. It's different. But the way why... Yeah, it's the same story. They were searching for India and they arrived in Brazil. God damn, India was really hard for these people to find every other and also develop some technique of navigation yeah yeah i i do want to because you are a jew and in brazil that's very rare uh i want to say it's rare

compared to america compared to the comedy seller say it's rare. Compared to America. Compared to the comedy seller. Let me show you the Brazilian Indians. This is a Brazilian Indian. This is a family of Brazilian Indians. It do they have... It's one of these things I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to be offensive in a whole different country. I don't even know.

This is Brazilian Indians. And do they have like protected parts of land in Brazil the same way? Yeah, they have. That's also a discussion during Bolsonaro's regime. He was not into being... He couldn't care less about the Indians. Didn't seem like he would.

And we were trying to fight about like for their land and for the the territory it's yeah that's a conversation and the same thing you guys have here at least you have those preserved places but you guys here have something that i think is crazy that indians cannot have like alcohol in the reserve, but they built cities. Are you talking about America? Yeah, in America. We have to call them Native American, I believe.

Native American? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cannot call them Indians? Yeah, we don't. Yeah, that's, I mean, it's back. My bad, I don't know, I'm a foreigner. That is true, you do get a pass. But I think like back in kindergarten,

I mean, these are the kinds of changes. Why you cannot say email? I'm sorry. Because I, again, I don't know the full, but I think it's a degree of that label was given by colonizers. Yeah. I mean, imagine it's someone showing up, they mislabeled where they are,

and now you are that thing on their mistake. I believe it's Native American indigenous people. Indigenous people. Because it's the Native American indigenous people. Indigenous people. Because it's the people who lived here first. Yeah. But I remember back in kindergarten, what would we say to sit? We used to sit, the teacher would say sit Indian style. I mean, that's what the teacher would say.

And that meant sit crossing your legs. One time I said that when I was student teaching. Because I just hadn't thought about it. No one had. No one had. No one had. And the kids didn't know what I meant. Yeah.

Because they've been they've now know what you said. So I said to a group of kids, a group of kindergartners, I go, OK, can everyone sit down Indian style? And and I automatically was like, oh, that's weird that I said like I'm thinking. Also, mind you, I student taught like a long time ago yeah yeah let's put that on the record this is before the two couple months ago for sure um but i i said i said that i said i said it and the kids looked at me like what they had no idea they never heard that phrase which is great but i i didn't know the new phrase i didn't know when it no one In all the fucking education classes I took, no one ever said like,

oh, and by the way, when you tell kids to sit, it's got to be crisscross applesauce now. And how do you say now instead of Indian style? Crisscross applesauce. But you also don't say, you also don't say sit Native American style or indigenous style.

No. The whole point is that they're human beings. They don't just sit this one particular way. We all sit this way. Like, yeah, we didn't steal that. All of American history, I once talked about it on this podcast. Someone got mad at me the way I talked about it.

But we have glossed over the fact that I believe it's 8 million indigenous people were killed as America expanded. And we glossed over it. the fact that I believe it's 8 million indigenous people were killed as, as America expanded and we glossed over it. And like, especially in schools, we're just taught that Thanksgiving happened and it was a fun meal. Yeah.

And then like you get to high school and they're like, and we gave them blankets with diseases on purpose, on purpose to kill them. Pocahontas was, was a baby when she was given, not like a hot Disney princess of age. She was like 12. So like all our whole story

has been insane the way that we've lied about it. And Americans got away with it because they didn't have any indigenous people in the classroom many classes to be like oh what the fuck

is that version of the story? I mean it would be like a cute version of the Holocaust where it would be like as if the Holocaust was taught where they said, and then they went to camps and they got to hang out with their friends and sleep in bunk beds. That's the way we learned in Brazil, wasn't it?

Yeah, sure. I mean, but what... I understand. There's not a lot of Jews in Brazil. But it's the same everywhere. You know, the story about Indians and the way we learned. And it's the same thing. In Brazil, it's the same story.

We kill them. The Portuguese people would give them mirrors for their lands. And they would give them, I don't know, little things they bring from Portugal. I don't know, like little things that they bring from Portugal, like, I don't know, like a necklace or an earring. Yeah. And they would get like lands of,

and trees, and amazing trees, and they would like fucking destroy the land. Yeah. I think there was one funny thing. Again, who knows,

you begin to doubt your entire education if you really think about it, but there was something about like, there was a trade for like Louisiana where they traded them beads or whatever. Americans gave something for the land

and the indigenous people like to themselves were like, what fools, you can't own land. And then, you know, they were like, we'll show you what owning land means. Where I live in New York is really close to us is the site where they bought Manhattan. And it's crazy. There's a plaque, and it was sold for literally

on the thing that says trinkets is one of the descriptions of things. What is trinkets? It couldn't mean less of a thing. It's like, oh, look at it. If you're at a fair, and you're like, yeah, look at those trinkets over there. A lot of merch is trinkets. It couldn't mean less of a thing. It's like, oh, look at, like, if you're at a fair, and you're like, yeah, look at those trinkets over there. A lot of merch is trinkets.

A little bracelet. It's very, it's like a word of, like, something very small. Stuff. Like, stuff that has no value to it. And so, it's just like this plaque that's there, and you're like, they bought all this land, and, like, in the description it says trinkets, among other things.

Isn't it crazy that Louisiana still has the same value? Trinkets. You can buy Louisiana with trinkets right now. Today, 2020. Did you have any kind of Jewish up? Did you have a bar mitzvah? Did you care? No, I didn't because my father is Jewish.

Sure. And my mom is not. So I never get baptized. I was around... Are you circumcised? I'm not circumcised. You're not circumcised. And that's standard in Brazil.

It is not. Here, you're circumcised as soon as people get born, right? It's pretty common. My dick looks amazing. Isn't it great? Unfortunately, on podcast, I cannot show Isn't it great? I can't. I am unfortunately on podcast.

I cannot show you. But no, I didn't. That's not something that. You know that there's no medical explanation for a circumcision, right? Yes. Listen, I'm not pro-circumcision other than the fact that I'm glad I'm circumcised, A, because I don't remember the procedure. So it's easy to say that.

And B, it's been to say that yeah and b i am more norm it's been more normalized the way it looks and i've never had a a woman go like where's your foreskin now were you ever have you ever been especially when you went to america did you ever with a woman who's like ah what's that no they're never i don't think that would happen that's very rude, John Marko. That's very rude. That's very rude. The first time I...

So you protect the Indians, you cannot protect my dick now. Listen, I think it would probably be better. I think the head's oversensitive. I think that cover is meant to be there. Yes, sir. I think without it, there's sometimes like... It's ticklish almost. Too much sensitivity

or sensibility it's there for a reason it's crazy to do it my dick cried it's too sensitive but I remember the first time I saw it in porn that's the first time

I saw an uncircumcised piece and I thought it was like when my dick is erect you cannot see the foreskin. That's the thing. Yeah, it doesn't look the best when it's not ready for action. But I think no dick looks good

when it's not ready for action, unless you're in porn. Some of those dicks, they look good when they're not ready for action. Sure. I'm definitely a grower, not a shower. When are porn... I was going to say... We have a lot of porn in Brazil

I was gonna say you said but when are you seeing porn dicks when they're not erect you know what I mean yeah a lot of like trouble getting it up I'm sure there's some porn like takes them a while yeah those porn

that now are made they're not all penetration all the time you can see them actually you know a little bit of story a little bit of story i i do like a little bit of story i've always been a story i need to know like how they're related before i told you about that like really long when i watched that one time it was was two women. And it was amazing because I was like, this is going on for so long. Well, because first you're scrolling. Sure. Of course. You're scrolling and you're looking for certain things happening.

And I was amazed because I scrolled and nothing happened in 10 minutes. I was like, okay. I see what you're doing. You're saying you're scrolling in the video. In the video, 10 minutes and nothing. You're hopping in every minute to see what you're doing you're saying you're scrolling I was scrolling in the video in the video 10 minutes and nothing you know you're popping in

every minute to see like what's happening and I was like I could see that there was no porn in 10 minutes and I was like

okay we're gonna start from the beginning we're gonna watch this story because I was like this is this is so crazy to me that and it was like

a really deep story about like one was like feeling differently deep story about like, one was like feeling differently about things and maybe they're going to end the relationship. But it was a lot of long conversations. It sounds like it was like sense and sensibility. But it was bad. But it was like, but it was shot really well.

All of a sudden you found out, I'm watching Thelma and Louise. That's not even porn. And it was like, it probably was like an 18 minute video. And I want to say two minutes. You know, they have tabs. They have tabs now where it's like blowjob, doggy, reverse cowgirl.

If they had like getting lunch. Yeah. Opening a present from a dear friend. Yeah. So, okay. So not, you weren't raised very Jewish, but it must feel interesting as a comedian. Like there's this Jewish line of comics, and you started comedy there.

Yeah, yeah. No, I think my father is Jewish, and I kind of got his sense of humor, self-deprecating a little. So I can see now the Jewish humor. I can actually, the Jewish humor. I've been hearing a lot about it, but now that I can see people going on stage,

now I can actually understand a little better, and I have a little bit of that. We have Jewish people in Brazil because a lot of Jewish people went to Argentina and Brazil during the war. They left to Brazil. They got little pieces of land here that they started to actually build something. So we have a population in Sao Paulo, which is the city that I have an apartment

that I used to live. I still have my kid lives there and stuff. But to be here and see this community of like Jewish people doing comedy, it's amazing. It's great. So your kids's there, and your wife, you're married?

My ex-wife. Your ex-wife. She's with my kid, yeah. So I guess I'm interested about, so I know, so you were doing comedy, things were blowing up in Brazil, but then you started getting

in some trouble stuff with people being mad about jokes? Yeah, that's uh yeah what what was was what was was there one that was like the big one and then the floodgates opened was there rumblings uh for a while i was testing the limits uh-huh can you imagine like, you guys have been doing stand-up, I don't know, for the past 70 years. Yeah. Lenny Bruce was fighting for freedom of speech, I don't know, in the, it would be like the 40s, I think. Yeah. And he would just go on stage and he'd say, he'd say, fuck, or he'd say, shit, and they'd be like, you're arrested.

Yes. And then gradually that became, and then George Carlin did all those words, and then that went to the Supreme Court. So, like, all that stuff, and then George Carlin did all those words. And then that went to the Supreme Court. So like all that stuff gradually, gradually. In the 60s, in the 50s, you guys are already talking about this. So we started this new way of doing comedy in a country that we're used to. Characters and impersonators. You know the type of comedy that you see in like Mexican TV channels, Televisa. Those guys like

dressing with wigs and costumes yeah what about in terms of cursing is it a sensitive country like can you say

fuck on TV or are there rules you can't say fuck on TV is it because of religion like is religion like I feel like in America deep down

religion is the the roots of why we have these things I think it's a a bit of religion it's a little costume like like costumes i don't know how to say this in in english it's like the moral yeah you know moral is the way you build society it's a very christian country is it catholic catholic yeah yeah evangelical a lot of evangelical churches yeah okay uh more like music and like shows and uh it's more than just the mass itself yeah uh the temple they have like huge temples and stuff yeah

so i think that's a little bit of that and also i think that's the same everywhere you don't see that much cursing on tv anywhere you know sure it's all it's a i've always find it very frustrating especially uh as politics became so much entertainment there's a degree of whenever a politician curses people go hey he's talking honestly and like when trump's video came out i thought it was a really interesting time because he said the the potential president nominee said grab him by the pussy yes and so many news stations are quoting this big newsworthy thing and going he said grab them by the p word and you're like who is this for who is this for we're talking about the next leader of this country

with nuclear weapons uh uh just say pussy that's what he said there was one this one made me so mad it was like ukraine when when Russia first started their invasion. There was some island where Russia messaged them, give over the island. And I guess the Ukrainians said, fuck you or something along those lines. And instead, the newscast was like, and the Ukrainians sent them back a strongly worded message. And then Russia killed them all. And it's like killing killing them all is, that's the dark,

fucked up part. Just say fuck. But at the same time, I also could, I also understand, I don't want to see news shows where every politician's like, well, fuck you.

Well, fuck your mother then. Suck my, it's tough. Yeah. But, and also they're showing people getting murdered and killed. They're showing it.

Oh, yeah. They're showing it. Yeah, you're showing it. And in Brazil you can see like, during carnival, you watch people naked, basically. Like the breasts are out, they're dancing. Would they show that on TV? So boobs are okay.

No pussy, I imagine. I would say during carnival. During carnival. Not during the rest of the the year you know what's crazy so it's a very sexualized country but at the same time you cannot say fuck on tv so even more hypocritical yeah yeah you can see people naked in soap opera sometimes but you cannot say fuck or people are suing me because of the jokes i'm saying so that's that's drive me drove me crazy because you know people are mad at me because of the jokes i'm a comedian doing jokes on tv and i'm being canceled as fuck and at the same time i watch tv

and people are naked which i think is awesome i. I'm not even criticizing. I'm just like, don't have double standards, you know? Now what, because obviously if people could sue just based off a joke in their name, I mean, was it defamation you were being sued for? Defamation, like perjury, I don't know. Jay Leno could be sued by 10,000 people based on this, you know, he joked about every person under the sun. But so what's- You can sue.

Here in America, you also can sue someone. Sure, but you lose. You're never going to win. That's the difference. So why did they win? You're afraid of losing. No, I'm afraid I lost a lot of lawsuits. Oh, you lost lawsuits there.

I lost a lot of money, bro. Wow. I lost real money. That is insane. What was the biggest one? Was it that it was a singer? Yeah, there was a singer on TV. She is like our, I would say, our Jennifer Lopez.

Okay. Okay, she's pretty. She's beautiful. She sings like shit. So this is our Jennifer Lopez. Okay. She's pretty. She's beautiful. There were things like shit. So this is our Jennifer Lopez. Yeah. And she was pregnant. And I was hosting a TV show.

It was a mix between like the, I don't know, like the view and the daily show. It was politics with like people talking about the news and your wet tree we would show stories and then i would be one of the hosts yeah three hosts and the guy one of my friends asked me oh she's pregnant but do you think she's she she's still hot right and i what i should have said was nothing but I'm

very creative I'm a creative person so I said she's so hot that I would fuck her and her baby on TV and did they laugh

in that moment they laughed in that moment thank god because if you get silence from that one you're just yeah because I was

I was doing that running joke all the time like I would fuck him not with this word sure but I would like I would grab

I was Russell says that every time he sees a pregnant woman out of nowhere okay I would say this to everybody

but then that time was like you know when you do like your scale the joke yeah yeah yeah now she's pregnant so I would fuck her and her baby yeah joke yeah yeah she's pregnant so i would fuck

her and her baby yeah yeah but i didn't use the word fuck it was more like we have this comer which is like eat it's a synonym eat like but would i would i would i take that as eating pussy or just eat like it is fuck but not as dirty come is not as dirty as food is fuck okay come is like have sex with uh-huh sure no no it's not the same the joke the joke is uh the joke is no no you'd have to be acting in very bad faith to be like, he said he'd fuck the baby. Yeah. There's no way anyone... So, okay, so you said it. I don't have enough dick to do that.

Yeah. I wish I had. Yeah. But I don't. Don't we all? You know. And in the moment, are you like, great joke, you moved on.

Did you get a second thought in the moment? That's the thing, Joe Marco. I was always known by being this guy who always push limits and boundaries i'm always testing and people like me because of that in my country you know rafinha he doesn't care he just fuck whatever he says that's good we like him for that yeah and that was my role on that show sure i was that guy because when we used to do meetings and we would like read the script and someone would say like oh i don't know if i do that joke i would always say to them if you're not gonna do that joke

give it to me because it's good let me say it if you're because people what people would do is like they were like they were doing the wrong wrong way. They would change the jokes. It wouldn't be that funny. But at the same time, it wouldn't be that offensive. I'm like, let me say exactly what is written because I want to say it. So I was always putting myself in risk. Yeah. So when that happened, I thought, oh, we are a team, right?

So we are going to fight as a team. But then it's something that happens everywhere you know ah yeah you know like oh I don't know this guy let's suspend him and when they try to suspend me I ask me I resign from the show and then it became this huge thing

when it happened were you freaking out or I mean you know Lenny Bruce notably had a difficult, like it probably destroyed him, all the things that he dealt with. He was going to jail. Were you scared that you were going to go bankrupt? Were you scared?

I mean... No, if I was scared of being bankrupt, I would apologize and just go back to the show. Sure, sure. I wasn't afraid. That's why you hurt i i i think it kind of hurt my career a little did your wife you're married at the time i was married what was her thoughts did she say please apologize

as when those things happen joe marco when you are in that situation, you are canceled. Because here, this is the thing. I'm just telling a story that looks fast and it looks like it's not that much of a big deal. If you think about Chappelle. Sure. Okay, Chappelle was canceled. Yeah, he was. But if you think about it,

is a mom in Nebraska really thinking about this whole controversial situation sure that's why I don't think

Chappelle was cancelled I don't think Chappelle was cancelled no some people were annoyed and they expressed it and that's it it's all Hollywood bullshit and that's all

yeah yeah yeah but with me my show I was a Jimmy Fallon guy I would say I wouldn't say Jimmy Fallon exactly, but I was doing this show that everybody was watching.

It was an open TV, so it was really, really big. So it was on every website, but it happened in 2011. And this whole cancel culture wasn't even established. Sure. Nobody was on my side because everybody was like, I'm not going to help him. I'm going to kill my career. He's crazy.

But things have happened. My problem with the term cancel culture is it's been, we were talking yesterday on our amp show every Tuesday, 45. We were talking with Sheba Mason, who's Jackie Mason's daughter. You know Jackie Mason? No. He was like a super famous Jewish comedian. He basically, he did Ed Sullivan,

if I'm having the story correctly, just back in the 50s or 60s. The president, Lyndon B. Johnson, needed to make a statement, so they were cutting his set short. What's the name of the show? I just forgot it. Ed Sullivan? Ed Sullivan was giving him some cue of like, and he's

on live TV. Everyone's watching it. And he's like making fun of Ed Sullivan being weird. And they thought that he gave Ed Sullivan the finger. Probably didn't. And it seems like, it sounds like it was just, it was grainy old footage. But they couldn't tell. But the next day they go,

Jackie Mason flipped off Ed Sullivan middle finger in the TV on all the papers and his career like fucking done and so there's a degree of like

what do you mean that was quote unquote cancel culture it was just it's more just when I think there should be a term for when

the media suddenly focuses on one insular incident and the consequences are insane. And that sounds like what had happened. It happened. Whatever you want to call it.

But it's been happening since the invention of the camera. Yeah, yeah. But you were- And also I was live. You're live, yeah. So live TV, it's dangerous because of those little things. It's scary to be a comedian on live TV. You want to be funny.

Sometimes we say stuff on the podcast that I go like, Russell's going to get in trouble for this one he wasn't on he wasn't on the script so he was all improvised yeah you're you're putting yourself

in this dangerous place that can actually hurt your career but at the same time isn't it our our whole business saying what we want to say we think it's funny I don't know I don't think I was born for that environment you know some

people are some people play the game they don't want to be I think hosting a show it requires a very specific type of person that if you're at all nervous about that thing. And I think it's really hard to maintain that because at some point you got to kind of like you turn into a host at some point. Let me tell you, there's two situations in which you are happy doing this. One, you're dumb. You don't think about things, which I think is most. You don't think. There's a lot of jobs in the-huh you don't think about things which i think is most you don't think you don't think there's a lot of you don't suffer yeah oh i said some shit i apologize i don't care i'm not even thinking about cancel culture i just want to keep doing what i do yeah that's nothing

there's no thought behind what i'm doing yeah yeah yeah or you're a psychopath yeah that's the two things you know yes i don't know who is a psychopath and who is dumb but if you think too much and that's what i think it was my problem you're thinking too much i wasn't suffering because i choose to do what i felt was real so that never put me in this depressive state and when you ask me about my my wife at the time uh she wanted me to be happy yeah and my parents my family they wanted me to be if i was happy and i was like telling them this is not a big deal they would breathe you know because they knew i had money it wouldn't be a problem i wouldn't i was born in a state where i wasn't getting any money. I moved to Sao Paulo.

I kind of conquered the country with my comedy. So everything was okay, you know? If I lost everything at that point, I would already have built something. Sure. So it was much better than if I have done anything, you know? I'm killing in English. I haven't done anything.

This is next step English. I'm sorry. But that's what I decided not to suffer but i have a lot of thinking behind this whole thing and that that can lead you to problems you know when you wanna i don't know fight against the wave when you wanna do what you want to be more controversial if you just play the game do it and that's what they wanted me to do they were like rafi brazil it's a happy country nobody cares people like the underdog story you had this whole thing that happened apologize go to your knees and ask the country to apologize they will love you cry a little fuck it and bro it's a fake game but i understand the people who plays it because you can lose a

lot if you don't yeah but i think it's it's hard though because as like a as a rationally human being you're like well this is all bullshit these apologies are crafted sometimes they're sorry in this case it's like it was just a riff and i there's this degree where i'm like i think most sensible people would be like they go gross gross but that would that's it i know or you don't laugh especially when you have people on camera laughing with you there's a degree of like okay and it's especially when you have people on camera laughing with you. There's a degree of like, okay. But instead you have the couple people who are like, how dare you, you pedophile. And it's like, why would we as a society let those people lead the way when we all know? I mean, not we all, but most of us know like, okay, that was gross. People get your story and use for their own narrative.

I had people in a Congress for 10 minutes calling me a pedophile. And people are like, yeah, because he wants to use my case, which was like a national wide case. Everybody knew about that case to bring attention to him. And I understand this process. Everybody knew about that case to bring attention to him. And I understand this process. That's why when I see the fake apology, John Mark, I completely agree. We all know it's fake.

But if you don't play that game, that hurts you a lot. And that's what happened to me. I wouldn't do anything different. I wouldn't do. But I know how much I lost. I lost movies. I lost series. I lost gigs. I lost private events, sponsors.

Was it just like a flood in that first week? Oh, yeah. Was it brutal? Just emails of just like, oh, fuck. Yeah, but at the same time, Joe, that's what I'm saying. Like, I had built something already. Yeah. John Mark, that's what I'm saying. I had built something already. I was happy with the fact that maybe I'm doing something that in the future people will look back and,

oh, this guy was brave, you know? And I think that people feel this now. I never lost too much audience. You know, real followers, people who are following me, I feel that I have a very engaged audience until today they are really cheering for me here in the u.s they want to know what i'm gonna get i'm the i'm the guy who think just think about it sometimes i just i'm talking about with my my wife i sit down and i'm like it's a dream for every comedian to be in the place that we are right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Doing shows in big clubs, being a regular at the cellar. I think I'm the only South American doing this. Yeah. I wouldn't say at the cellar. I have another Chilean friend. I have a Colombian friend. But we are a group of just a few, like five or six individuals. This is huge.

I'm conquering a new market and performing. Sometimes we take it for granted, my friend. We go up on stage after CK, after Chappelle. This is, and I am a guy, I was in Brazil a few years ago building a scene and I'm doing this. and I am a guy I was in Brazil a few years ago building a scene

and I'm doing this so I got nothing I'm winning yeah yeah yeah I'm doing you know real quick

did you have to go no are you okay I'm good now oh good yeah so he just lost

just to to go back to the downside how much money do you think you lost from that joke alone just for that joke or just for the lawsuit how much money do you think you lost from that joke alone? Just for that joke? Or just from the lawsuit, how much did you have to pay?

I paid $300,000. For like lawyer? My money, $300,000. But it's the same as me. But not dollars. What is the money there? Yeah, it's like $5 here. It's reais.

What is it called? Real. It's called real5 here. It's reais. What is it called? Real. It's called real. Real. Real. It's the same as you write real. Uh-huh. One real is $5.

It's $5. So it would be, I don't know, like $70,000. Uh-huh. But think about it. That's a lot. Okay, but that's a lot, but we don't translate money. If you're a lawyer in America and you get $100,000 a year, you are a lawyer in Brazil, you get $100,000.

So it is actually, if I was an American comedian, I would be paying $300,000. So it's not like it's the's the same as 70 000 you cannot translate money it's difficult so it's the same as you paying 300 000 for a lawsuit when you do comedy in brazil now do you do you not say certain things or is it just on tv or don't care my friend you don't care you just go for. Have the laws changed at all? I mean, I guess the thing is like part of the reason in America whatever fly is because there's so much comedy here. Yeah.

The courts would be filled with lawsuits every second. So in a way. And also you guys learn how to play the game. If you do the most outrageous joke about, I don't know, Biden today, maybe next week, he's doing the same joke at SNL. You guys kind of learn how to play this game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know that you lose a lot if you fight against a comedian. People know the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is the thing. I think the girl lost much more than I did. Really? Yeah.

Not money. Yeah yeah but you know i i remember like two months after the lawsuit she went to host uh an mtv award shit and when she stepped on stage people started to cheer my name and she started to cry oh it was horrible oh my god i didn't want this to happen. Was she still pregnant with the baby? No, she wasn't. She wasn't. She wasn't. She was already.

She delivered. Is she still a big star there? She's known. Yeah, she's very famous. She is very famous. And the baby's still not of age. So no comments about the baby. No comments about the baby.

But her father is very famous in brazil he's like this country singer one of the biggest ones that we have so the whole family it's like a miley cyrus kind of situation and she was married to this guy who used to own an advertisement company and that guy would run uh sponsorships in different tv. So that guy was very powerful. That was the problem. It was not her. It was the husband. Did they get divorced?

They did like six months ago. Wow. Have you ever saw that guy? So I'm winning, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to do a show with her someday. I saw them one day.

It was me, my wife, and my kid. And it was in the park. And there was her, him, and the baby. Oh, my God. In the roller coaster. Did you make eye contact? No, I didn't. I was like, no.

I have nothing against the girl. I understand what she's coming for. No, no, no, yeah. I understand it's the whole pressure. She wasn't suing me. For sure. The guy was not, he hated me. Of course he hated me.

But it was more the pressure around him of his fears. Are you going to let that? Are you going to let him talk that way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of like toxic kind of. So I kind of understand, you know. It's okay. It's okay.

So how old is your son now? He is 12. 12. 12. And you've been, when did you first? And my wife was pregnant when I said that joke. Sure. My kid was born almost like the same time. So while I was having all this conversation about making jokes about a pregnant woman,

my wife was pregnant. Yeah. And I knew that I could not hit the baby because I have done it. That definitely, like pregnancy and jokes about pregnancy, it's just very funny. Knocked Up had funny jokes where,

remember Seth Rogen? Oh, yeah. He thought he was worried he was hitting the baby. Yeah. But like it just combines two very disparate things in America, which is sex, and then literally there's a baby there. And so just even joking about it,

Americans haven't even figured out. They can't even comprehend the whole thing. Yeah, but you know what's crazy? I was doing similar jokes, like me hitting the baby. I started to question myself. That's not the way I want to meet my baby you know that's not the first contact that i was doing this whole bit like a long bit about it on stage so that's like a huge difference between people paying to watch me on stage and people watching me doing that joke on open TV. So that's why I think sometimes it's a little unfair for us club comedians to look at those guys who apologize and like, oh, that's bullshit.

It's a completely different ballgame. They are involved. Of course. I think I would struggle to, if I was with someone who was pregnant I think if they were like no no to have sex to have sex if it was like

six or seven months I think there would be a part of me being like it's right there I can feel it kicking but in the belly yeah but it's right there

and you know that hormonally some women they get horny as fuck yeah some of them don't which was my don't, which was my wife's case. Which was my wife's case.

I'm sorry, but some people just want to have sex, and bro, gotta do it. I think I've seen on porn sites where it's like, they'll be like pregnant woman. I've never. Yeah, but like you're fucking another woman's. We've established again, you're not fucking the kid. Okay, I'm not fucking the kid, but at the same time, I don't know if I would be comfortable

having sex with a pregnant woman that is not pregnant from my baby. Okay, that's horrible. So wait, but then by that logic, it's like, well, it's okay if it's your baby because that's more incest-y. The other is less incest-y. Yeah. The other is less incest-y.

Yeah. So maybe I am sick. Maybe. Maybe. So maybe she has reasons to sue me. Wow, wow, wow, wow. How has it been having a son in Brazil while you pursue this here? It's horrible, my friend.

It's horrible. I don't want to even talk about it because I cry. It's horrible. It's not good at all. Because it's like, he doesn't actually, he's 12 now, so he understands a little better. But he just wants his dad around, you know? He even asked me, why? If you love me so much, why are you doing this? It's difficult.

He articulated it. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. And I understand him. Yeah. Cause if I, if it was my dad,

I don't know if I would be that comfortable, you know? Now he's 12. I have been doing this since 2018. I spent two years during the pandemic, which was actually a breath of fresh air in this process. Cause I was like, but I go there a lot i spend

a lot of money with tickets we see each other at least every i don't know 50 days so i'm always and i'm like he called me today at seven o'clock in the morning i asked him with homework i help him with homework i talked to the therapist to the, to the school. I'm completely 100% involved. I would say much more than a lot of parents who are actually around. Or maybe I'm just creating this for me to be comfortable. What's the time difference? What's Brazil? Now it's two hours.

Two hours. Oh, two hours. It's not that bad. Oh, good. It was horrible in LA, but now it's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because even when I'm in LA and Tova's in New York or vice versa, it is hard in the relationship.

Like we're just not in the same space to talk. It's horrible, yeah. But it's difficult, it's difficult. He's going to come here at the end of December. He just, you know, the thing is when you have a kid and you're a comedian, it's just a professional. It's like you're a lawyer, you're a comedian it's just a professional it's just it's like you're a lawyer you're an engineer i think i don't think he gets it like uh his dad is has a different type of

business that he's involved you know he's used he hasn't been to america yet oh yeah he has okay cool uh and is it is it challenging is your ex-wife like totally on board with this? Completely on board. She's amazing. I mean, that's what's amazing. That's great. Because custody can be so difficult. She is amazing.

She's great. She helps me a lot. She knows that she can count on me too with anything, with money. Sometimes she's having an argument with him she it's too much for her she calls me and i call him and i talk to him because he respects me a lot so we have a very good relationship uh and we are very easygoing us both yeah you know and i think that's that's good that's good We don't stress out about little things. It would be difficult if she was this woman that worries about him,

not the clothes that he's wearing, the way that he's grabbing the utensils. That would be too much. But she's cool, and I am too, so it works. Do you want your son to, maybe for college like do you see America as a better place to be? Oh yeah.

My friend I was robbed at gunpoint five times in my life in Brazil. Can you imagine that? A gun in your head it's not a good feeling. i wouldn't say it's fun yeah each so how did what was the worst one well how did they do it it's it's it's bad i'm talking bad about brazil but that happens i'm not creating yeah

yeah it's the downside fucking yeah it's the downside that's the name of the show so uh one day i was leaving the car and the guy pointed a gun on my head and stole my car one day my tire was like uh how do you say when you have a hole in your tire uh it was punctured it was a flat tire yeah flat i got a flat tire cut your tires and then i wanted to change your tire the guy pointed a gun on me and stole my jacket and my shoes. And did he, was it like from afar, right to your head? The one, the first one, he was like on the car. Now in Brazil, it's, man, it's horrible.

Like my ex, my brother-in-law, brother-in-law, is that right? Yeah. My ex-brother-in-law. Ex-brother-in-law. Brother-in-law, is that right? Yeah. My ex-brother-in-law. Ex-brother-in-law. The brother of my ex-wife. He was in the middle of the traffic like a few months ago. And now what they do, they have like an iron glove that if you have your windows shut,

because nobody drives with their windows open in the city. Yeah. drives with their windows open in the city. The guys now are punching windows to steal like wallets and cell phones and fucking GPS. In the middle of traffic. In the middle of traffic. That happens a lot there.

So it's dangerous. Are the cops just corrupt? Are they not present? I would say, yeah, there is a little bit of corruption in the police force. Watch a movie called Police Squad. I'm going to send it to you, okay? I'll watch it. It tells a little bit of corruption in the police force. Watch a movie called Police Squad. I'm going to send it to you, okay?

Okay, I'll watch it. It tells a little bit about how our police works. But it's too much violence. It's too much crime. It's difficult to be on top of everything, you know? When you had the gun, did you... I think I would piss my pants. You learn how to behave

when you have a situation like that i've seen like police officers going on tv to teach people what to do what to do like one thing that they teach you a lot is like when you are in your car have two wallets one for you and one for the the thief because if he wants to ask for your wallet, you give them one with a few. You have a couple things in there. Yeah, a little bit of money there, like a card or two that doesn't work. It's like a wallet with Monopoly money in it.

Yeah, Monopoly. Like $3 in expired cards. Yeah, expired cards. But when they point a gun to your head, don't do any sudden movement. You know, don't, if he asks, oh, give me your phone, don't just like go and grab your phone

inside of a box or the glove compartment. You know, just fucking tell them every move that you're doing because some of them are professionals. Some of them are fucking high as fuck, like use crack or something, and they don't know what they're doing. So explain to them exactly what you're doing

because you're going to be shot in the head. Yeah. I had a friend in Brazil that was shot in the neck, and the bullet was here for like two weeks, and he had to extract with surgery. Bro, it's hard. And I don't want my kid to be around that. So what you do in a city like Sao Paulo,

you live in condominiums. So it's like it's a city inside of a city when you're like middle class. So you feel protected. Like big buildings with an area that you can you can play around I'm from a city in the south

and when I was a teenager we used to play soccer on the streets but you cannot do this anymore you gotta you know

and here I see people I have this this bit that I say on stage like people say that New York is dangerous

oh you have to be careful you have to all be really careful because you don't know what's gonna happen man i walk after the the the show sometimes at three o'clock in the morning i walk home yeah of course from the cellar to murray hill i walk home that's something and sometimes i'm walking and i see a girl like checking her phone on a dark corner by herself yeah and every time i see this i think i'm gonna rob this bitch you know just to teach her a lesson i'm robbing you today so you don't get killed tomorrow. Because, you know. Yeah. There's a lot of other places in America that I feel less safe than in New York City.

Oh, yeah? There's so many people around. But people talk. There's people out there like, I don't feel safe going to New York. And you're like, what are you talking about? There's always. I've never been outside my apartment and not seen 40 people like doing. You know what I mean?

And to be fair, I've been scared of New York several times. Yes. Oh. But I've had one friend mugged at knife point as opposed to. doing you know what i mean to be fair i've been scared in new york several times yes oh but i've had i've had one friend at knife point as opposed to my every friend i being scared in new york has uh fortunately for me all been fairly limited to the subway when you're trapped in like a small what's your what's your okay someone puts a gun to you i don't know i'm gonna freeze you know what you do just just go to the game

kiss the gun kiss the end of the gun um uh i my wife has a friend that uh i think i told you this story before they were getting robbed it was a group of women getting robbed in in dc and her friend what her instinct was to throw her phone and wallet and run and so she threw it and ran but none of her friends did and so she went back and picked up her wallet and phone and rejoined them to get mugged because she was like she was like i she felt bad about leaving them to get mugged alone and so she she threw it. Now tell me the truth. Would you come back? I don't think so.

No, I think I would have just kept running. Kept running. I don't think I would have ran in the first place. Nicole's there. Your wife is there. Oh, no. If Nicole's there, I'm going to go back. But I'm saying if I'm with a group of friends.

I'm going to go back so he would have run. But it's hard to say. We had another friend. Nicole was telling me this, that she got robbed in Paris and she was really, she was really blackout drunk at the time though

and she just said no. Like the guy held up a knife and was like, give me your purse and she's like, no, fuck off

and kept walking and like, I do think that if you're, you have a crazy response to getting mugged, sometimes it could work in your behalf. I had an op-a-half. Just give chocolate. My old singing teacher, she said she would be in Europe,

at certain places, Europe Opera, late at night. And what she would do if someone started stalking her as she went home late at night, she would start looking in a glass window and go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And she said, pretend that you're crazy. Yeah. And they will leave a crazy person.

Oh, they probably don't have money. You know, I, the problem with me, I'd probably try to sing too good. So I'd like to see like some enchanted. I put,

put a gun on me. Let me see you do it. Give me all your money. Just do it. Just do it. He probably would kill you. I don't think so. They do it. Just do it. He'd probably kill you. I don't think so. They don't want to kill you.

They don't want to go to court. I'd say just do it. I don't know, though. I'd say thank you. Be on the off chance that they don't care. I'd say I've been waiting for you to come, buddy. And also, you're the worst thief ever. I'm sorry.

Give me all of your money. Who is the thief who asked for like half? Give me half of your... You don't have to say all of your money. Oh, yeah, I guess sorry. Give me all of your money. Who is the thief who asked for like half? Give me half of your... You don't have to say all of your money. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Give me your money. Give me 30%. Give me a reasonable amount of your money.

What did they say to you? Do it to me. What did they... Passa tudo. It's like, give me everything. Give me everything. Give me everything. Yeah.

And then, yeah. It sounds like it happens so much they could just go you know the drill yeah you know what this is oh yeah it happens a lot

yeah but it's you know I want him to come here I want him to have this comfortable life I want him to go to school here

but the problem that I'm facing right now is because my wife she wants to go back to Brazil that's the that's the big issue yeah she doesn't like New York But the problem that I'm facing right now is because my wife, she wants to go back to Brazil. That's the big issue. She doesn't like New York.

She's not comfortable here. She hates the winter. Oh, no. Yeah, winter stuff. She gets depressed during the winter. She has to take meds. Has she been mugged at gunpoint yet, though? No, she never lived in Brazil. Oh, sure.

She never lived in Brazil. She was born in brazil at four years old she moved to ecuador she moved to she lived in ecuador until she was 18 and then she moved to america so she doesn't know brazil and i tell her all the time you don't know it's very complicated she was no no that's not a big thing it's not at all and then she was there in the first week that she was in brazil she was scammed she the guy stole a lot of her money uh with like this uber eats oh brazil they like she didn't get her food no the no no the guy was like there's a lot of scams in brazil a lot of scams so this this famous one is you ask for your food and you pay i don't know suppose 50 bucks and the guy comes up to you he was like oh that was like three

dollars left that wasn't paid so you have to pay some kind of a fee three dollars and then he give you this machine that is all fucking like works in crazy different ways. And he makes you pass like $3,000. And he doesn't show you and he just leave and then you're fucking gone. And he had your food too. Like he worked for Uber Eats. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, because he knew that she was waiting for him. I wouldn't fall for that though. You wouldn't. Of course you wouldn't. Yeah, I know better than that. Yeah, so she, yeah. That's what I say to her. I say, I'll pay you in cash, $3.

I'll give it to you right now. Yeah, that could work, yeah. All right, let's go to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Is there anything that needs to stop, Rafi? People saying that Pepsi is better than Coke this gotta stop

do people say that yeah a lot I'm definitely a Coke guy I'm a Coke guy I'm much better I'm a Coke guy Coke

Coke is way better it is way better right yeah what's the difference I don't know if I can put my finger on it what is it for you I think

Pepsi is like Coke with soap. It feels, it feels, I don't, maybe it feels like sweeter. Yeah, sweeter. It feels sweeter,

but in a fake way. Yes. Like in a, in a, like, ooh, I feel the syrup in there. Where Coke,

I'm like, ooh, this is a little lighter and a little more refreshing. Yes. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

And there's a Coke. Fuck Pepsi. Fuck Pepsi. There's a Coke in Brazil called, not only in Brazil, third world countries have this Coke Zero. Do you have? Yes.

We don't have that much Zero here. This is a third world country shit. We got Coke Light. We got Coke. Light. We got all sorts of Coke. There was once, there was a green Coke,

and they tried to add vitamins to it, and it tasted bad. I always liked the taste of Diet Coke. Thank God. I didn't really like soda growing up, but Diet Coke, I liked the taste. So you prefer the taste of the light than the normal? Yeah, Diet Coke. I can drink Coke now.

I can even drink Pepsi now. But as a kid, I just liked Diet Coke. And thank God, or I would have been a fucking mess. So they tried to put vitamins in Coke? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They tried that for a second. I remember they've tried all, they used to have a lot of the twists,

like lemon, lime. They were okay. It was always a little bit too strong. But what's your soda of choice? Well, I have, if I'm having like a drink with my thing, I'll do Diet Coke with my whiskey. But I,

if I had to pick a soda i think it would be regular coke i do i love regular i drink uh at least two bottles of vitamin water every day i love it i wish that we had this in brazil vitamin that's that's the what flavor oh anyone that is zero isn't there a lot of sugar in that i feel like vitamin water was a thing where we all thought it was healthy, and then one day people were like, this isn't healthy. That's why it tastes so good. Anytime something tastes good. Yeah.

Anytime something tastes good. It's fine, though. Tovis told me there's a very unhealthy relationship I have with food, but anytime something tastes good, I'm like, oh, fuck, this is bad for me. It's a UFO eating disorder. Yes. All right, a final segment you better count your blessing you better count your blessing um uh did we say blessings in the last episode i don't know um i'll do i'll do my blessing first uh i filmed uh cordon um and

uh my friend chris was there yeah probably you talked about this more in therapy where i was like chris was my my girlfriend uh was with me i headlined some shows in in maryland and she got to see my dad and stepfather separately went to my show and just saw and my brother and just saw how they came out of this show packed good show and how none of them said a word of compliment to me

just like just like witnessed bizarre what it was like of just the dad being like all right we're gonna head out and and my little brother he he came up, he's like that one joke didn't work. And it was like, I was in the wrong,

like, you know, I get it. He's a young, he's a 22 year old guy, but there's a degree of like, God damn. I,

I, I don't have that in my family. My family, my mom, after the court and said, she was like, uh, I was like,

I had to say, was it good? And she said, Oh yeah. I just, I had seen all those jokes before. And it was like, I had to say, was it good? And she said, oh yeah, I had seen all those jokes before. And it was like, that's... It's so sad. I mean, what's very frustrating about it is it's really hard to imagine going to see anything. It's like if I was going to see someone in a croquet match.

I don't know anything about croquet. But at the end of it, if they won or if they at least finished, I would be like, if it was a national thing, I'd be like, that's so cool that you blah, blah, blah. Or be like, I saw people seem to really react to you. Oh, you picked that hammer. I have enough context clues to be able to find a way to give you something from that. I have enough context clues to be able to like, like find a way to,

to give you something from that. And I said to you on the club, I'm so, that's so amazing. I told you. So I was more loving than your father. And comedians struggle with it. I've been pushing myself more recently to be like,

tell someone that they did good. Yes. Cause I think inside I have like an envy thing and I'm like, okay, you can feel that, but still say good. But I think inside I have like an envy thing and I'm like okay you can feel that but still say good oh so you think it's an envy thing it's okay to be envious

my dad might feel a certain kind of envy my mom my mom listens to this so I will say my mom is very sweet but I can totally just see that knowing the little I do about my mom's parents like it's just not an effusive kind of thing I do think my mom's very proud of me and is supportive. The day before my mom drove me to four different spots in LA.

So she's, she's great. But there's an element that when you do this kind of thing, you want effusive love and compliments because you're feeling vulnerable. Yeah. And Chris Cafaro, our friend who I, he was the one I brought backstage.

And he knows, very empathetically, he knows what his role is there. And it's to be like, you killed, you crushed. I'm so proud. Just effusive. And I was very thankful to have him. He just moved to LA, so it worked out perfectly. But for him to do that, it was like you are yeah you are the buddy yeah to have yeah he really is uh what's your blessing um mine's gonna sound shitty after what you just said my mother-in-law got us a tv for grace and it's really

not it's like it's huge it's it's it's takes up the entire wall of our apartment and i'm obsessed with it it's huge it's really that big well yeah i mean if it's i'm excited inches well how much 85 inches what yeah yeah it's not hanging up oh wow how many Oh, wow. How many dicks? Eight. You got eight? Oh, my God. So it's getting hung today on the wall. Oh, it's getting hung?

We had to get it. It's getting hung. Well, we had to hire a professional. It's a 120-pound TV. What? But so... Do you have room for that? Everyone says that. Because if you think about it, an 85-inch TV is the same as you putting your phone here.

That's what I think. Just put your couch next to a small TV and you'll have a big TV. No, let me tell you. It's been on the floor this week and I'm obsessed with it. It feels like a movie theater. I'm like, you know, I don't feel like I'm too close. It'll be higher. So it'll be like.

But basically there was nothing on that wall anyways between the mirror and the bar. Yeah. So you're like, might as well fill it with a TV, you know? And so it's really, oh, I love it. I haven't really gotten to watch much on it. But, you know, I can't wait to see it. Do you have a blessing to close this out? I can't wait to see it.

Do you have a blessing to close this out? I just want to thank my people, you know, who have been following me for a long time. And also, like, I'm building this, trying to build a kind of a following here in America. This is what I'm doing right now, like posting a little bit of clips and, you know, like. And you have a different account, at least on Instagram, right? You have, like like the english account and the it's i i wish for for bilingual people or multiple language they had a

way to where you could have those two accounts but put this only for the people who speak this language and this for the people who speak that language yeah i don't post my english stuff yeah in my brazilian account yeah, you know what's crazy? This is the problem that I'm facing right now. I love my people. My people is very engaging to my content, okay? They always comment. They always like.

They always share. And when they do that, they show to the algorithm that this is a Brazilian content. Yeah. And it doesn't help me yeah you know it's crazy yeah they want to help me and i cannot say don't share this thing uh-huh they they get on their fee on their feed in every social media and by the time they get to my content it becomes a

brazilian content i have a problem that nobody else in the world has yeah which is people engage with my content and kill the distribution yeah so i'm having talks with the tiktok people the instagram people the youtube people how can i actually build an audience here yeah yeah yeah but i'm so thankful that they help me a lot they're always involved and they want to see me succeeding and every time I do something that I consider it's a landmark they always celebrate with me and I have my family

that also are following all this journey they're being very calm and helpful and my kid also if my kid starts to cry and tell me come back home dad i don't know what i would do you know yeah yeah that would be my ex-wife and my kid they helped me a lot and my wife that you know hates new york and is here with me yeah that's how good i am at sex um all right this is coming out December 20th

is there anything you'd like to plug just please follow my Instagram at Rafi Comedy that's it Russell and do me a favor when you do this plug do it with pride follow my Instagram at Russell J Daniels and come check me out

at the Dale Roth Theater doing Titanic eight shows a week for the masses. And go up to Russell after the show and say that you listened to The Downside. Say that you listened to The Downside. Yeah. I sent you, there was like some nice fan of The Downside in the comments of the Seth Meyers thing, which was very, very nice. Someone who comes to my face, they said, now that Russell's on Seth Meyers, leave the downside. Tremarco's holding you back. Did you see that?

No. Oh, yeah. I tried to delete it as soon as I could. Guys, I'm going to be back in New York for a spell. I'm headlining in Jacksonville, Florida, December 29th and December 30th. Silver Lining is back. We're doing all sorts of shows next year, almost twice a month. January 1st, Sesh Comedy Club.

Link will be in the bio. January 15th. And then the 15th, we have a Downside Live, 10 p.m. It's a late night show, but let's sell it out. We'll have good guests. I'm headlining in Austin, January 6th and 7th. And Magoobies near Baltimore, January 12th, 13th, and 14th. Thank you so much for being here, Rafi.

It was a pleasure. Thank you for being here, Russell. And, you know, just when you get mugged, just give them the money. Yeah. Just give them the money. All the money. This is The Downside. One, two, three.

Downside. You're listening to The Down the downside with john marco cerezi