The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #122 No Cigar with Nathan Macintosh

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Nathan Macintosh joins to discuss the absurdity of comedians smoking cigars, the worst videos we’ve ever seen on the internet, a live fisting gone awry, the joys of working in fast food, and Metal Gear Solid. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Nathan Macintosh on Instagram, Twitter, & TikTok Watch Nathan's new special, Money Never Wakes on YouTube For all the latest, visit https://nathanmacintosh.com/ Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram See Russell in Titanique in NYC! E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, I heard someone getting stabbed and that feels like a good place to start this episode. Here's your headphones, by the way. Fuck. Do I need to wear them? Oh, you don't have to. You'll just miss out on like the theme song and that kind of like segment things. Is there, what are the, are the segment things like a da-da-da segment? Yes. Yeah.

Ish. I don't want to undercut Douglas' work, but. Yes, they're higher quality than anything else on the podcast. Yes. Sure. But you know what I mean? It's not like, hey, we're going to cut to. You don't need information.

Yeah. Here's a rant from Tucker Carlson we're all going to talk about. It's like. The only thing is sometimes if people don't use the headphones when we play the theme song, they keep talking. I won't. And they don't realize. We'll flag it for you.

Yeah. Yeah. I. We can figure this out no please it's it's it's all going in um uh my name is demarcus arezi i'm here with my co-host russell daniels hi uh we're joined today very special guest i'm very happy to have you on here uh comedian nathan mcintosh how are you doing nathan uh it's the best time of my life man thank. Thank you for having me. This is great. Yeah.

Good. I'm in a shitty mood. Why? I'm in a shitty... My girlfriend and I, Tova, we're trying to build, make our apartment a home. And we got a TV.

We ordered one from Walmart. Uh-huh. We hired the guy to install it into the wall. Uh-huh. And he the guy to install it into the wall. Uh-huh. And he turned it on and he's like, you guys come in here.

Shattered. Shattered screen. Shattered screen. So we go, okay, okay, we're going to return this shit. We order another one.

Wait, when you got it out of the package, it looked fine? Yeah, it had been, yeah, it was fine. We hadn't plugged it in yet.

It wasn't him. I don't, it was not him. It had been what? You go, yeah, it had been, yeah, it was fine. We hadn't plugged it in yet, though. It wasn't him. I don't, it was not him. It had been what? You go, yeah, it had been, and then you cut yourself off. We hadn't turned it on, but it didn't look, the glass, there wasn't glass falling off of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's internal. You know, it's underneath whatever big sheet of glass they have in front.

Yeah. What kind of TV? Roku inside of it. What's a Roku? Seriously, that's not a TV brand. Are you saying an app that's inside the TV is what Roku is? It's like they now sell TVs that have the Roku inside of it. I don't know what kind of TV.

It was affordable. It's a McDonald's TV. Big deal. We don't buy TVs from certain places. How many inches are we talking here? Okay. What the fuck was that? I was measuring in eight inch increments.

In all seriousness, good God Christ, nobody's ever measured anything the way that you just did. He was trying to make a dick joke, I think. So I go like, okay, this is eight inches, so then another eight, and I flip it in my mind. It's four dicks high, 70 dicks wide. Sure. Yes.

It's not big. It's this big. Okay. So it's like a monitor. Yeah, it's a monitor. Okay. It's a small room. In that room, it's a movie theater.

Gotcha. So we order. Can I, real quick, so many questions here. So the guy says, come in here. He's not telling you to come in because the screen shattered. Does he know the screen is shattered when he goes up to you and says. Yeah. He says like, like he lets it come here.

Like, you know, your, your, your father is dead. You're lucky he plugged it in. Cause if he's just his job to hang it, I wouldn't have even plugged it in. But I'm sure he knows. Cause I'm sure a thousand times he hasn't. And then someone blames him. They say, oh, this guy, he broke the TV. I bet as soon as he saw the box that said Roku, he's like, here we go.

There's going to be some problems with this. Roku, come on, man. So I'm going to return it. That's the plan. It seems easy enough. So I'm going to return it. That's the plan. It seems easy enough.

And in the meantime, we order, stupidly, another Roku TV. Jesus Christ. Same brand. You deserve everything you have in your life. Because that's, cheers to God, insanity. Why would you do this? And I say to Tova, I say, Tova, when it gets to your office, because that's where we ship it to, I say, when it gets, open it, plug it in. I like that you don't want

Walmart to know where you live. For some reason, Walmart is not allowed to have your address. It's got to go to a different location. So, she does not do that. I come home, there's the box. She takes the cab home

so she can have the box fully intact. I go, uh-oh. I take it out. I put it on the sofa. I don't care anymore. I plug it in. It's Roku. The whole thing.

What do you know? It's broken in the exact same way. Like the exact same fractures. Are you sure that's just not how it comes? That's what you get. It's an avant-garde television. How much did you pay for this TV? $180.

Around that. $180, $229. Come on. I used to work in a home theater department of a place. Really? Yeah. And the prices of TVs. TVs are kind of like bags of chips now.

You can just walk in and grab them. Nobody cares. There's no keys. There's no anything. It wasn't that expensive. I expected a TV to set us back. $600 Nobody cares. There's no keys. There's no anything. It wasn't that expensive. I expected like a TV to like set us back. 600. Dude, that's 10 years ago.

That's maybe 15 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not even a TV guy. This is for Tova. You're not a TV guy. You bought a Roku twice. Roku.

Without saying. Like, my God, that is a remote that plays movies. It's not a TV. Well, you have a nice TV? What do I got? LG, I think? I got it a long time ago. LG something. But yeah, it's a nice TV.

It's about five dicks wide. Four dicks high. That's nice. 48 inches, okay? Sure. It's on a little stand. I got a sound bar for it. It's great. I love this thing. You got a big TV now.

Big TV now. Yeah. I grew up. Working great. I grew up. The TV was always on and I wasn't reading. In my mind, I was like, if I have a TV in the house, I didn't have one for like a decade. If I had a TV in the house, my life will waste away.

But you watch things all the time. So you just do it on a laptop? I just watch it specifically. I'm specific. On a laptop. mom's got cnn kind of on msnbc kind of her brain's being poisoned kind of news you can i mean you have you there's a remote you can turn it off like you talk about some of the not a roku you cannot turn a roku yes or on a roku's only broken this is the this is the one setting it has. I think I looked back at my life when I hit college and I was like, I regretted all the TV that I watched. In the same way that I quit video games before college.

Because I looked back and I was like, what did I do? Really? What did I do? What was the last video game that you went through? Oh, I mean, I haven't forever. The last one was like Metal Gear Solid. Roku Presents.

Grand Theft Auto. We were on a TV show on Roku TV. That's where our game show ended up from Quibi. That's so true. We were on a Quibi game show that ended up on Roku.

Game show, Roku, go together like this. What's the last video game you played? I was a big Metal Gear Solid fan. Oh, yeah, of course you were. And I liked the narrative of it. It was great. And I liked, that's the one where I played? I was a big Metal Gear Solid fan. Oh, yeah, of course you were. And I liked the narrative of it. It was great.

And I liked, that's the one where I played, I like tried to get all the things. Yeah, dude. I did it too. And you're going to tell me you look back on that as a bad time? Killing Psycho Mantis by putting the controller in the second port? Are you kidding me? Okay.

It was cool. It was cool. It was fucking amazing. But here's the thing. What else would you have done? But unless you stay in that world, I have no one to share it with. You do. Me.

Right now, sure. Anybody that's lived in this time. But they're continuing to play the games. And once you stop playing the games, you're out of the world. Now, some of them are and some of them are not. These older things are great. These older games are great. I don't even know if people playing games now, they're like, oh, I get to play with my friends.

You know, I'm beating off online, paying $14 for a fucking shield. These things, though, Metal Gear, this is a different world. I don't disagree. In my mind, I've always thought, oh, when I retire, that's what it'll be. Instead of reading books and watching cinema,

I'll go back and play video games. You're going to be like, oh, all the time I wasted emailing comedy club bookers. You're going to find another, oh, all the time I wasted emailing comedy club bookers. Like you're going to find another thing of like what you regret. That'll be. And that is a emailing people for shows. Yes. Much more strenuous of thought to think then I played metal gear solid,

which kicked ass revolver. Ocelot. What are we even talking about? That game is incredible. It was amazing. It was amazing. But I had a, I, I subletted once in Astoria and there was like a guy

and I felt like I watched a video game addiction. It was like, it was like an actor in playing video games. I never saw him not playing video games and I remember it shaking me.

But, but, and, and there was, there were some men. But if you're not addicted. Thank you. I mean,

I just saw a guy in the street, right? He had two canes. He's violently vibrating. Now, I could look at him and go, shit, man. That could be me. But no, that's him. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not gonna rush out and get two canes and shake.

Coming down off a Percocet. That's not me. That's him. Sure, but even if you're not addicted, let's say okay, so let's say... Here's your addiction, you fucking psycho. Looking at other people and thinking that it's going to be you. This is the real addiction. No, no. Yes, yes.

No, no, no. Okay. Let's say you're able to use cocaine. Let's say you're able to use cocaine in a reasonable manner. You still might not want to have a kitchen, a plate of cocaine just laying about because maybe one day you'll go, wait a second. I think I'm addicted to this now. No, you're not.

This is what you're addicted to. I'm addicted to laziness. I was a lazy kid. You're not lazy now, though. I was a lazy kid. I know, but it's there. It's whispering to Marco. Just put on Halo.

Just put on Metal Gear. Metal Gear's not lazy. These are pieces of art that were created. Today, video games, I can argue with you, yes. You're not saying that video games are not also designed with the intention of hooking you and hooking the dopamine system. You go to an art museum. I don't think whoever painted the Mona Lisa was like, how do I paint this in a way that they gotta see this again tomorrow? Or they get a little reward for the 10th time they see the Mona Lisa.

I do think video games today are much more like that. I do. The older ones, yes, to a degree. Obviously, they wanted us to play them. But they also made full-on fucking pieces of art. I agree. But I also don't see you as having an addictive personality. Like I don't see,

it's not, it doesn't come up in anywhere else in your life that you're, you're, you're always doing, watching TV. You're always, you're not on drugs. You're not drinking.

You're, you're not even having weed all the time. Yeah. So you, do you have an addictive personality? No, thankfully. Cause I drank,

I drank really young as a kid, like from like 13 to fucking 18. I had an ulcer and a whole bunch of shit. I had to take these big pills. But thankfully, I can have a drink every once in a while and I'm not fucked. Because there's some people, I have friends that are like,

if they have a drink, they're blowing a guy under the fucking bridge for whatever, you know? But no, I know nothing. I'm a man in a pink jacket sitting in this place For the first time It's a nice jacket

You have good fashion It's a women's jacket From a grocery store In Truro, Nova Scotia But I thank you Get out of here From a grocery store? Yeah, in Canada

There's a place called Where I'm from Canada, Nova Scotia There's an Atlantic Superstore And they also have A section in it That sells clothes Couldn't tell you why

They're trying to be Like a Walmart Anyways I saw this jacket and I was like, I'm buying this fucking jacket. I don't care. Do they sell TVs? Because I'm in the market for a different place to get my TV from.

They might have. Do they have TV? Here's what I was going to say to you. I feel, and I don't know anything. I feel that you're addicted to finding problems that aren't there. Because I feel I feel that you grew up in finding problems that aren't there. Because I feel that you grew up in a place, and I don't know anything. I feel you grew up in a place where there were not a lot of problems.

So the problem was, where are the problems? I need to be fucked up. How am I fucked up? But you're not fucked up. I got to push back. Of course you do. I meant you just stopped the podcast right there. All right. And we're done.

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join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. You get ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, all our live episodes, video and audio. And I did want to bring one thing. We did a live episode, and we've had this problem before. We had the guest said the R word. Uh-huh. And two people— Roku?

Roku? They should be interchangeable, given— They should be interchangeable Given Given And my policy is I think this is my policy Especially because I don't like to edit I'm not going to tell a grown adult

Don't say the R word That's not my role That's not my job I don't give a fuck Go say it If someone's going to do a hate speech I'm not going to platform a long hate speech rant But if someone's gonna do hate speech i'm not gonna platform a long hate speech rant yeah but if someone's gonna use that word whatever right i have a bit that uses it and i i know i

should get rid of it yeah i have a sketch but but that's my point is two people were like you know hey you know she said this and i'm like yeah and i'm a fucking 34 year old man i don't know what you want me to say yeah people say the word. So that's my position. Shouldn't they also be messaging her? You're right. Hey, you said the word. When you talked about coming up in the adult entertainment industry and you talked about like, you know, fucking the abuses

and the snuff film scenes you did, you said the R word. Well, you can only do one snuff scene. Fuck! You get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was it, by the way? Aaliyah Janine. Oh, yeah.

And the snuff stuff was, it was like some guys get off on, it looks like the person's been killed and they get off on the pee, the pee that comes out. Comes out once you're dead. And it's like, it's so much, so much to go through for a tiny little moment.

Fucking dark. Yeah. And like how do you find out where you see it and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm so hard right now. This is where you, well, this is, you know, you looked at that guy and you're like, I'll become a video game psycho. This is literally like you start porn and it's like, oh, a woman blowing a guy or whatever. And you're like, cool. And then you keep watching. And then now you're addicted. And now it's like oh woman blowing a guy or whatever you're like cool then you keep watching and then now you're addicted and now it's this type of thing i don't think i don't know that

you just wake up and go oh i think you melt your fucking head i don't know into that situation i always remember well they type in do you what do you type in for that sort of thing you know i don't know russell daniel search history i know but i always remember when i was in germany i was in hamburg and uh there was a there was a porn section there this is where i'm saying like i watch porn but there are certain things that if you see it something in me viscerally they had a whole wall in hamburg of bestiality and i'm like a 21 year old and i'm like i'm curious i'm like what is this and i see some of the covers and i feel like i'm going to throw up in the store and i'm like oh thank god thank thank god i didn't go there and go oh shit sheep i guess that's my thing yeah so i don't know

if people gradually go there i think some people fucking like me maybe but that one seems to be pretty fucking. Also, don't you remember? We're close to the same age. Don't you remember what the internet was? Of course. I've seen.

I talk about Mr. Hands all the time. Women blow so many horses in 2001. Can I say something? You'd walk into a friend's house and they'd be like, look at this. And it's a woman violently blowing a Shetland. And you just go,

what is that? What is this? I'd rather see this. You'll never see that again, by the way. You'd have to hunt, hunt, hunt to find that video. Whereas in 2001, it was just all around. It was on E-Bombs World.

It wasn't even on a porn site. It was on a comedy site. Yeah, it was on a blooper or kind of like, this person falling down and a camera caught it kind of like this person falling down and the camera caught it kind of thing. Yeah. And then horse blowing.

Horse blowing. Have we seen horse blowing? Am I crazy? No. We've all seen horse blowing. Thank you. I haven't talked or thought about it in 20 years. But yes.

Me neither. The blowing is the thing that I saw in Germany specifically. It was a dog and it was a blowjob yeah and something about a blowjob to me is is like it's more upsetting than a then fucking because it's a blowjob is like that's a human to human interaction of like

you know one person's pleasuring just the other and doing it for them so this thing about the blowjob is like it's worse than the fucking for me if you were to tell me you gotta get get fucked by a horse, I'd die. But I don't want to see anyone blow it. There's a documentary about that. It's the zoo.

Zoo. Mr. Hans. I have a whole Mr. Hans chunk. His name's Mr. Hans? Mr. Hans was the name of the video. Oh, I didn't know that. When you were around kids, you'd be like, you see Mr. Hans? I didn't know that.

I just remember the documentary Zoo. But the guy that was impaled a horse. Oh, my i didn't go through his mouth that would be no it went it went completely the other way other ways yeah no i think impaled is it goes in and it goes out yes oh yes but the real impaling vlad the impaler would put people down nail nail a fucking big stick, pole, whatever, through somebody's ass, all the way through their mouth while they're alive, and then hang them, like stack them. They were impaled.

It's hell. The worst video I've ever seen, and then we'll move on for God's sake, I think. The worst video I ever saw at that time, because we all had a friend that was like, you have to see this disgusting thing. They always tried to find the most disgusting things. The worst thing I've ever seen,

just because it's so haunting, there's a woman strapped to a board, and there's a guy wearing Dr. Doom costume, and he's taking muddy frogs out of a bucket and putting them into this woman. Oh, my God. Into. And again, I don't think it's even possible to see that ever again in life but also i go i can't like how why what the fuck did

i see yeah you know what's amazing about this this podcast is some people are like oh they had the new york art critic jerry salts on show. I'd love to listen to this. And then they're like, I like this podcast. And then the next day it's frogs. Can I say, I went to... I didn't make the... You made it sound like I made that video.

And I'm the frog guy. I did not make... You're the frog guy. You guys remember that video? You know, you know. I'm not the frog guy. So I saw... Have you ever heard of The Box?

It's like... It's burlesque, but it's the show starts at one. No, I've been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw it once. I don't think I've talked about it on here. I saw it once. I was doing like a play that they were doing like earlier in the night, like a cool, funky, interactive play called Clown Bar.

It was cool. Okay. Thank you. It was cool. Okay. Thank you. It's out the box. In terms of theater, it was pretty cool. But Russell, thank you. That was great. It was a cool hip.

Yeah. Tell us the synopsis of Titanic later, the show you're in. Okay. The hit off Broadway show? Okay, I will. With the subtitle, A Gay Musical Parody. Yeah, let's hear all about how cool it is. Okay.

Okay. So we got free tickets to see the show. And the show's intense. Yeah. And there was a, I don't want to misgender them because I'm not sure. But this person, their bit was they came out, they greased up their hand or whatever. And their bit was they were going to fist themselves in the asshole. And I will never forget it.

It's a good bit. That guy's doing my bit. Because first they did it once. Didn't quite go in all the way. So they kind of, you know, they shook it off. Did a stretch. Tried again. Fully nude doing this?

I mean, as they're from the waist down, they might have had a shirt type thing. I have another question. A cloak. What is the angle facing the audience? Like, are we getting full on ass or are we from the side? Standing so you could see it. You're seeing their profile. Excuse me, Usher.

Is my seat, Am I going to be looking directly to the asshole? Is there like an obstruction? Because I want to see it. So he shakes it off. They shake it off. Tries it again. Doesn't take. Do you sense as an audience member

that this is part of the routine? That it doesn't fit? As a performer, I can tell something's wrong. I don't know if the average Joe Schmo isn't just amazed at what they're witnessing live in person. So then they go again. And this time they're really, they're trying to corkscrew it. They're sweating. And it doesn't go.

It doesn't go. Because you thought, oh, maybe this is a lie. Like, can I do it? No. Can I do it? Aha! And we all applaud. They just apologize.

Cry. Well, there's music glaring. But you're seeing the stress. I just think, like, this guy looks at his head. He goes, God damn it. I brought my Roku fist. This one never works. He's, God damn it. I brought my Roku fist. That never works. He's like bloated that day.

And it was, it was very sad. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's no, there's no playing off. Like that wasn't the goal. Yeah.

There's no way to subtly like, I'm just, you know, just seeing how much I can get in. Like it was clear. The goal was to get it all. I'm going to do a walk. I'm going to do a little waddle with it fully in there.

Maybe I'll slip in the second one as a little tag. And I, I just, I just remember, I just remembered how bad I felt for that performer. Like the same way if an opera singer cracked on a high note or a final joke bombs. It's not quite the same.

Why not? It's much more challenging. Anyone can hold a high C. It's not even kind of the same. Which, tell me, is it art? I think it's art. Not being able to jam. If your thing is you jam your fist into your ass

and you can't do that. It's the equivalent of like opera singer walked on stage and couldn't sing at all. Yes. Like couldn't, couldn't make a note. Yes. That's the equivalent. No,

but they got, they got, they got an impressive amount in. I wasn't the whole, I wasn't the whole time going like, I could do that. I think, I think you either get that full thing in or that's not an act.

How much of your hand, you know? I mean, it's not as big. I'm not doing it. I'm not claiming that I not an act. How much of your hand? It's not his bit. I'm not doing it. I'm not claiming that I can do that. But I'm saying like I can kind of sing some of the opera song. But you're not.

I'm saying like I couldn't get. Yeah, but you're not. What are we doing here? This is a different thing. I mean, the equivalence, it's all over the place. In your hand, hold up your hand. How much of that do you think you could get in your ass? Show me.

Honestly? Yes, honestly. If you had an audience and it really mattered. Some agents were in the crowd. I think I could. No, I don't know. Like 20%. Like I could get these fingers in, but I'm talking like, can you get to here?

No, I can't do that. Can you get past the knuckles? No, no, no, no, no. Not past knuckles. No. I saw a much better show there. Two people fucking. That was a good no, no, no. Not past knuckles. No. I saw a much better show there. It was two people fucking. That was a good time.

Oh, wow. You actually liked that. It was like. Well, I mean, that's what the show. I was at a party thing and that's what was happening. I didn't know what was going on in there. It'd be like, come to this party. It's at the box.

I'm like, okay, cool. You go in there, you go, shit. All right. I didn't know that this is what this is. But no, two people are fucking and you're like, it's not. No, I'm not like super into it. But you go, that this is what this is but no two people are fucking and you're like it's not no i'm not like super into it but you go that's better than this guy and then a woman came out and and squirted at the crowd wow i was in the back and i was like this is a party and i did think though if i was in the front i don't know that i think this would be a party yeah to just

have random woman juice yeah on me especially when i had no idea that this is what this building was. Would you be chill about it, or would you go like, can I please? I would probably just leave. Really, you'd leave? If I'm being serious. Yes, I'm now covered in a woman's cum. I didn't know.

I was invited to a party. I'm now covered in some strange lady's cum. Even that sentence sounds pretty cool, but I had nothing to do with it. Arguably her piss. Arguably her piss. I mean, this German... Everything's piss.

It's all piss. I don't know what that means. But anyways, that show seemed better than this one. This one seemed like a failure. Well, another person, a woman... Have I talked about the whole box? She made a martini inside of herself oh yeah and then served it to an audience shook it here's uh yeah you know with her body how did was she upside down putting things into her let me see if i

remember what you can put in a woman's body is truly it's it's it's a lot it seems like alcohol that would be like, that could hurt. Also an asshole. The physical capabilities of an asshole. People take drugs, I mean, huge amounts of drugs. It's pretty wild. Yeah. I can't imagine. I can't imagine.

Just, well. How'd we get here? You were talking about the video that you made with the frogs. How many frogs did they get in there? I saw three, and I was like, I can't see this anymore. You didn't forward to the end of the video. It's really... There was no counter on the screen.

I don't think you could forward at that time. Everything was so slow and choppy. There was no moving at all. You're lucky it played at all. But no, man. My friend, him and his cousin, used to just send these disgusting videos back and forth, and that was one of them

and haunting haunting haunting both of those people are dead all those frogs are gone there's just no way oh those people not the cousins

the video people how do you I thought you meant the cousins no no no no but the video people how do you survive that's your life

they're dead I was really I was really upset there was a comedian I'll share it off where they say hey look at this. And they put out a video. And it was like a violent thing.

It was like a video of like – and I don't know if it was – honestly, because I tried to look away very fast. But it was essentially like a – it could have been a movie because it looked too perfect. because it looked too perfect, but it was like something going wrong at a concert somewhere in Asia, and a big jumbo screen fell, and everyone's trying to run off the stage, and it fell on this guy's head. And when I think about it,

as I think about it every night before I go to sleep now, I go like, no. The camera angle was like perfect on it. It hit exactly where his head was. It was a film. But it was like someone was, they said, hey, look at this. It's like a joke thing. And it was one of the first times in my life that I almost felt a degree of like you, not the word assault, but like you should not have done that.

That was fucked up what you did. Which part? The part where they were like, hey, look at this cool thing. And then it was like a horrifying. Yeah. I didn't want that. It made me very mad. That's what a lot is.

People just send videos around of people fighting. What happens on Twitter now? Sometimes something comes up and you're like, there's something. A guy falls in an elevator shaft. I'm like, fuck, did I just let someone die at nine in the morning? I don't need that. I unfollow everybody. This has gone right up to comedy clubs.

Anybody that posts fight videos, I'm out. Mute, unfollow. I find it disgraceful human behavior to even record that. I talked about this the other day, but I was in a Dwayne Reed and Astoria on Steinway.

I know that Dwayne Reed. I I was in a Duane Reade and Astoria on Steinway. Yeah, I know that Duane Reade. You know that Duane Reade. So I'm waiting in line. I got whatever, you know. And some lady freaks the fuck out. She's trying to return something. She starts throwing chocolate bars at the cashier. Oh, my God.

The cashier starts throwing them back. I just walked out. I was like, I want zero parts of this. And I'm sure somebody started recording it and was like, yo, dude, I'm at the scene of, let them, this is crazy. Don't, don't air this. Yeah, no. This is hell. Was it?

It's kind of funny though. They're throwing chocolate. As long as no one's hurt, no one's going to get hurt from a chocolate bar. Where do you think throwing chocolate bars escalates to? Do you think it stops there? Yeah. It doesn't, it starts there. It's the same thing as like, oh, these two people swearing at each other.

And now they've gotten out of their cars. Well, this is kind of funny. I wonder what's going to happen. Oh God. Now they're violently assaulted. Do you know what I mean? Like these things escalate.

No, I love it. It escalates like, like, like we, you know, the chocolate, like it breaks open,

some chocolate gets in their mouth. They're like, and it becomes a food fight, a fun food fight. And everyone goes, let's just eat all the candy here. Quit our jobs. I'm going to earlier refute my thing of saying that you didn't have any problems and are looking for problems.

And again, this sentence here. Let's talk, because, you know, you had your recent special or whatever you want to call it. What are you calling it? For online purposes, so it's easier for people to see what it is and can be found i'm calling it a comedy special it's called money never wakes 40 on finance jokes about billionaires credit scores how we should have been taught about money in school how i grew up without money it's all finance related and what i there's this there's it was great but i also think it's interesting talking about no problems to a degree. Or maybe emotional problems, but not physical problems. I am absolutely someone who came from money.

My parents had money. I did not grow up with any student loans. I talk about student loans. You talk about student loans. You talk about, I think it's very interesting. Because I have been thinking of it in the way, you know, like Larry David is someone who has money. Because I have – I've been thinking of it in the way – you know, like Larry David is someone who has money, but he's – you could call him cheap or one might say like he is passionate about like the fairness and the rules of exchanges. And so, you know, if he paid for dinner, he wants you to pay for dinner.

Nice, because that's just how it works. And I have that, whatever that is. And I like to complain about money, but it's that mix where- What's your, sorry, go ahead. You talk about people who say that they're broke, but one phone call, and they could take care of their rent. And I was absolutely that person.

You have no problems. And, well, sure. Money-wise. But what's your problem? What do you complain about money? What's your problem with money? Oh, I just am one of those, you know, if i feel uh you know ripped off or i feel like i got you you know the fucking roku it's like what the fuck i want a full refund and we paid

for an uber to get from the office to the thing the second roku though you get nothing it's it's it's the it's willy wonka at the end of uh at. You get nothing, sir. You bought a Roku twice. Well, look, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd go, okay, I'm not having a TV then. You quit? I tried. You quit? You just lose the $180? I tried getting a TV.

Didn't work out. Even broke people don't get Roku. They don't. They'd be like, I'll spend the extra money to get a name brand I've heard of. They'd be like, I'll spend the extra money to get a name brand I've heard of. But there definitely is like, especially with comedians, and when I started, you know, you're broke in the sense that like, you wish you had more money or you're living frugally. You could call your parents, but you're not going to. You live in an illusion like, brokenness or an illusion of them running out of money. But the threat of homelessness is not there.

And I just think it's interesting where I feel like there's some people who, what would you call it, poverty face? Or some comedians who pretend that they have that. Oh, God, yes. And I'm so broken. I don't know. Rich. Grew up rich. Always had money.

Yeah. It's crazy. Rich comedians. I almost, well, first of all, there's a lot of them that are great and have gone on to do good things. But every once in a while, I almost want to tweet like, money should be out of comedy. People who grew up with money shouldn't be allowed to do comedy now this is like i don't really feel this but there should be two camps two worlds two different

sects of life because comedy at the beginning is broke now you might not necessarily be broke you might be coming in with some money but it's a broken, twisted world of shit. Yes. The richies are now coming into a world that the poories have already known, but are now doing in comedy. Does that make any sense? Of course. So now the richies are like, oh, it's rough down here. It's like, yeah, man, we started here and still live here.

This is hell. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I don't really think that rich people shouldn't be allowed to do comedy but every once in a while because mostly when you hear exactly what you're saying the people who have money complaining about how they don't that's when you go yeah i can't listen to this this is craziness yeah yeah so you grow up without money yeah and by the way real quick i'm not against people that grow up with money by any stretch well i think

that's there there's like the twofold. There's the rich people who are like. There's an honesty. If you're like honest about it and you're not hiding who you were. And that's what I'm trying to make sure of. It's the disingenuousness of people pretending to all of a sudden, we're all poor comedians. And you're like, you're not though. You know, it's fine.

And that's what I'm trying. It's like, I want to be genuine in the sense of like that's not where my problem. My problems might come from myself, but they don't come from this sector. But I think there's like twofold. There's some rich people who like don't seem – they don't want to acknowledge privilege. I think there's a degree of like what does it mean to acknowledge privilege? And then you have other people who are like if you're rich, fuck you. You don't deserve anything you got.

Any accomplishment you made, go fuck yourself. And obviously when you have these two camps, everyone's just getting more fully entrenched in their own. Yeah. Which is why I liked your album because like you defend both sides of things. You had a bit where you defend like the landlord. Yeah. And it's like it's very easy.

There's a big thing of kill all landlords. Kill them. Kill all of them. I know. I know. I like imagining when I see people saying that thing. I like imagining King, okay,

let's do it. And bringing them to the landlord, to my landlord, and being like, kill him. Yeah. And like watching them do that. Give them a sword.

Be like, kill him. And have a judge, have like a judge go like, you know what? We've decided. We've decided. You can kill him. Yeah. It's like the end of Dark Knight them a sword. Be like, kill him. And have a judge go like, you know what? We've decided. We've decided you can kill him. Yeah, it's like the end of Dark Knight

where the guy's like, oh, blow up the boat. And then he's just looking at the key like, oh, I can't kill those people. My stepdad was talking about, you know, his daughters and something about like, if this, I told her boyfriend

or I told the guy, she's gonna fuck him like, don't break my daughter's heart. you'll be in some kind of vague death threat. And I'm like, oh, really? Really? My 69-year-old lawyer stepfather is going to destroy his life. He's going to take it. He doesn't have a gun.

He's going to go buy a gun. He's going to murder this child for breaking gun he's gonna go buy a gun he's gonna murder yeah this child yeah for breaking his daughter's heart and go to jail it's it's uh it's crazy because i think he's he thinks it has teeth and i'm like you you you again he has money he's not throwing this wonderful life away he's got things to lose yeah so so you grew up without money yeah and again real quick i apologize i try to i say in the thing too that like i'm definitely not against rich people blah blah not all of them some of them yes of course some of them yes but then also some other people whatever but people that were born into money um i used to have problems with uh but I don't now. It is what it is.

You can't choose where you were born. How you function in the world, you can choose, and that's the garbage part. But yeah, man, I didn't have a dad. My mom drank. I think it's fair to be annoyed at rich people at an increasing scale based on how much money they have. Because the money, the fact that money can be, if money was not, if you couldn't put it in a bank and it's just a number on a

spreadsheet, if you walked or if you had to walk around with your money and you saw someone passing all the homeless people they do with as much money as they had on their person, I think this really, they do with as much money as they had on their person i think this really emotionally we go you're not gonna throw a little to this guy and that's there's a degree where i'm like if if elon musk had to walk around and everywhere he went he had to have trucks following him and they're filled with the money i think human beings as dumb as we are collectively would be able to go like that's way too much money that that guy has. Yeah. Well, he also already kind of does do that. He doesn't actually, but we know how much money the guy has.

Sure. Which is crazy. We should have shame. There should be more shame. I think it's fine to shame people who have money. And the more money they have, the more shame they should feel. You're one of those people. Sure.

And I do agree there should be an amount of shame. And I should be shamed into a feeling of tipping more and giving more and giving more away. I think it's fine to hate rich people. I don't think so. I think it's fine to resent me. I don't. Why?

Because, again, it's a case-by-case basis, but if you grew up with money and your parents, I don't know, lawyers, whatever the hell they were. Lawyers, chemical cleanup, various things. A lot of this stuff is like you're born into certain situations. So your dad, born, I'm assuming, in some sort of environment where being a lawyer was a thing that could, was even able to happen. You know what I mean? So how are you going to resent that?

I mean, everybody who doesn't have money is trying to get money. So you can't necessarily be angry at all of it. But some of it, like some of these people who, the people that just like cut employees' benefits, take away their, you know what I mean? Of course, but every, I think, for example, you know, a billion dollars is an arbitrary, it's an arbitrary number to a degree. But I feel like billionaires should be resented. Should be resented. Because they did that no matter what. There's no way you can have that much money.

And you don't have the oversight, even if you are a good person, that people aren't getting exploited down the chain. Sure. Oh, yeah. No, to get to a billion is like, it probably should be illegal. It's crazy. It's crazy. I mean, I talk about this in in that thing anybody that even wants to get that is a psychopath that's a president like if you want to be president you're kind of a psychopath yeah

you're kind of a fucking nut yeah yeah i will i will say though real quick just as a thing of like um and not talking about homeless people this is a different thing but like just giving poor people money sometimes not the fucking answer i've up with a lot of goddamn people, dude. You give them $1,000, the next day they need $2,000. Sure. It's already gone, and they're in debt. It's also like— Just, you know, I was talking like a couple dollars.

I know, I know, I know. I'm literally just talking—that's why I said I'm not talking about homeless people. I'm just talking about people in general. Like, it's more of a money fucking mentality or certain certain uh how to hang on to money and that sort of deal because i'm telling you if you dude i know people man that are just fucked and if you get if you go they're like i'm i'm broke i need 10 grand blah blah and you go i i'm gonna help them i'm in the position to give them 10 grand. Yeah. A week later, not everybody, but certain people, a week later, they're like,

I'm fucked again, man. They're fucked. Dude, I now need 15. You go, what the fuck happened to the 10? And that goes more beyond,

beyond, um, poor because there's also rich people that fucking blow money. That's like a mental goddamn thing. I mean, but I, I know some comedians and and they started to succeed, and they would still do like a vague on Twitter,

like, hey, guys, I need some money. Please Venmo me. And I knew, like, based on knowing what people get paid for specific things, I was like, you're making a, like, you're spending this in some stupid way because they were doing enough road stuff and TV stuff that I'm like, there's money coming in. They also might not be spending it. They might also just think, like, there's some people, too, that are like, I'm great, and I should never have to pay for anything. Sure.

You know what I mean? So they could be living that world. It's like, how dare you ask me to pay for this chicken sandwich? But I'm great. I strung words together. Yeah. Like, okay,

fuck. Oh, it's crazy. I think we've talked about this before, but yeah, sometimes being like any mild inconvenience to is an excuse to then be like, Hey, I had this sad thing happened to me today.

Here's my Venmo. And you're like, that is crazy to me because sad things happen all the time. And that's just something that happens. Like the equating like this, a bad thing happened. So I need someone like make it right by is crazy. Like that's, that's, that's, yeah. It's disgusting.

And somehow it's the same mentality as a billionaire. It's just as ugly. Guys, my day's bad. Give me money. Who are you? And who gives it? Who is the psycho that sits there and is like,

I'm going to Venmo. It's either got to be a hot woman and this guy thinks he can or some famous person that they're like, now I have some sort of connection.

I'm not talking about people who are like dealing with medical crisis. No, no, no. I'm literally talking about like someone said I was ugly today and blah, blah, blah. Like, you know, you know so what it reminds me of do you remember when uh was it spike lee

did an indiegogo to like make a movie that he he like did an indiegogo for two million and it was like one of the first where like they were doing something like that and some people i think very rightful like why are you asking us for money it's just no matter how much money you have your feelings about money don't necessarily change or you have to really confront them but the idea of like asking strangers to fund your movie when you are one of the most successful it was just it was just strange sure i wonder if some of that has to do with the fact that he was doing it on his own or wanted to do it on his own. And before that, it's all studio money. I don't know how movie-

But again- I've never made a movie. I don't know fucking anything. But they take the risk. There's movie producers taking three credit cards out so they can make their passion piece. Don't ask them for the fucking money. I get what you're saying. Did he ever make that movie? I don't think so.

He got game two. He still got game. He still got that game. So you grew up, so your dad, was he ever part of the family or did he leave? No, I met him once when I was five. I used to joke about it, but this is not sad. This is all saying it a thing. The first time I ever met my, the only time I ever met my dad, he's this big fucking,

I was a tiny little kid. I was five. He's a big red haired guy. And I was a tiny little kid. I was five. He's a big red-haired guy. And I was like, this guy somehow connected to me. And he goes, do you want to play a 52-card pickup? And I didn't know what that was. So I go, yes. My mom's like, there's cards all over the fucking place.

I'm picking up cards. Then he goes, why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice. Joke. And then he left. That's the only interaction. It was like on the way he opened up and Googled like how to be a fun dad. Jokes.

Okay. I have some cards. How, and it says, do exactly what you would do to bother people in a bar. But yeah, that's the only time. When you met him, did it feel it feel like whoa this is an intense moment or was it just like five i just knew i just knew that somehow i was connected to this person you know what i mean i just felt that sort of deal because up until then as dumb as it

sounds do you i'd only seen like my brother my grandmother having red hair so then when I saw another guy I was like you know it just it somehow made sense it was just this guy is clearly somehow connected to me but no it wasn't like is there just not a lot of red haired people in Nova Scotia?

there is yeah but I'm not my mom's like I'm five if I'm going from Yarmouth to Sydney every day people in nova scotia uh there is yeah but i'm not my mom's i'm five is it what taking me up and down the fucking yeah if i'm going from yarmouth to sydney every day there's one just pointing at people driving around trying to find redheads um did you was there ever an attempt by him or you in the future to to to meet up again or no no just kind of like boom yeah yeah yeah he he he called once uh when i was like 12 and was talking to me. And my mom was like, it's real sad.

She's like, get off the phone, blah, blah, blah. And then I talked to her about it later. And she's like, yeah, sometimes he would call drunk and be like, she'd be like, hey, I want to come back and then blah, blah, blah. But as far as like a real, real thing, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's fine. Of course. It's a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's fine. Of course, it's a long time ago. Yeah, and it's also like, it is, it's, I don't know, same thing as like being, coming from money.

It is what it is. I can't, I can't change it. There's parts of my life that are, I am who I am because of this. You know what I mean?

There's parts that I'm like, also, fuck man, a lot of this really sucked. But then at the end of the day, I'm a guy wearing a pink coat. I have a decently fun life. You know what I mean?

Like, I don't. Sure. But is there any like, when you look back on your life or as you've like figured out how to be happy and enjoy existence,

like, is there any pocket where you go, oh, not having a dad, I see the thing that i missed or the thing that i was looking for later like when did you did you feel it at any point did you go like oh fuck i don't have a dad that's that's but like what like was it like father's day

father's day was a weird one i'll tell you why because in school remember uh i don't know if they did it everywhere but but um they would they would get us to write cards to our dad. Do you know what I'm talking about? So they were like, so I had to say to somebody, I had to say to a teacher, I don't know my dad. And she goes, write a card to your grandfather. Also, the first time I ever heard somebody talk about their other set of grandparents. Dude. You have two. Also, the first time I ever heard somebody talk about their other set of grandparents. Dude.

You have two. That blew my fucking mind. That didn't make any sense to me at all. But then they go, yeah, it's one of my dad. I go, oh. Uh-huh. Also, I never really had a big connection with sports. And I think a lot of it had to do with like i didn't grow up watching sports with somebody anytime i talk to somebody that's really into it's usually like not all the

time but a lot of it's like yeah i grew up watching sports with my dad he was into sports blah blah blah my mom's not watching sports she's fucking watching the oj trial eating cigarettes sure but if you're not into sports my my dad if if you if my dad someone interviewed him about me i think he'd say that i like football right now like like i truly i always remember it was so humiliating i mean my dad's crazy but we i was interviewing for like a high school like to go to like a private high school and see this is this is the thing i know nothing about yeah to go to a public school you walk in you sneeze on a vice principal you sit in a classroom yeah and you know the the servants had come in to give us the chai latte before the interview is it on epstein island is that where the

the signatures take place come on down to st james and my dad like told it was still like some stage where the parents are in the interview and my dad was like, you know, he's got a great memory. He knows all the football teams and all their stats and I'm like, what the fuck? That's really funny. Is he talking about that? He's telling his kid. He's like, he hates theater. He hates musical

theater. He doesn't, he's This is the part too that I, and I didn't necessarily get to it too much in the thing thing but rich people and poor people are much more alike than you know when they were like

we did this it was like they're doing a college scam of course they are they have the of course they have the ability to do it

yeah and it's not right but they have the ability to do it but the most frustrating thing about that is that like

everyone's doing it in other ways. This is what I'm saying. Colleges are doing it. Colleges are doing it. The Ivy Leagues were run ethically. Fuck you. And then people get all high and mighty. These bad parents. It's like, fuck you.

You did the same thing with your kindergarten. You fucked the head of the... Everyone's doing this shit. I need to blow a gun again. You fucked the head of the... Everyone's doing this shit. The head of the kindergarten. I need to blow a gun again. You fucked the head of the kindergarten. So that my kid can take a nap from two to three. But the way that people were like, shame on you. I was like, you are talking about academia.

You are out of your fucking mind. When money is involved, things can become disgusting. So it doesn't make any sense that, anyways, when I heard it, you just kind of go, yeah, of course. Of course they did. Of course they did. How the fuck wouldn't they? They have the money to do it. It's insane to begin with that we've created an institution where if you're good at the road team, they go, well, then go to

Harvard. What is Harvard? Is Harvard a road team? It's insane that these things have been conflated to begin with. so the fact that someone's exploiting this absurd conflation in this this this disgusting i just i just hated that i hated how people felt like they were better than that and they judged it's when they pick a couple people and they go they're the bad ones and i'm like the whole system is bad you just caught two people who gives a fuck um your mom do you think because she is yeah the way you said it was like your mom yeah come on out

and your mom do you are you do you think you're extremely close with your mom because you had one parent like does she become so much here's thing. My mom was very young when she had me. Me and my mom are very cool now. But my mom's also like, my mom, she's very hard. She's very, like, cold. I was never, nothing was ever hidden from me in a way. Like, I knew what bills were very young. I knew what problems were. young i knew what um problems

were you know how old was she when she had you 19 okay so she's like uh she i i just knew there was problems you know right away there was no coddling there's none of that so as a kid um our our thing was real fucking combative but now uh, yeah, me and my mom are cool. I really, really love and respect this fucking lady. But again, she's like, I'm a child raising a child. We're doing this the hard way. Yeah. And she kept it very...

I remember one time, man, she's on the phone. I'm sitting there watching, I don't know, fucking Power Rangers. Who knows? And she's on the phone screaming at somebody. She's like, what the fuck? The fuck? You said you had... Slams the phone i'm sitting there watching i don't know fucking power rangers who knows and um she's on the phone screaming at somebody she's like what the fuck the fuck you said he slams the phone down eating eating a cigarette again by the way slams it down she looks at me she goes nathan never lend anybody money and then walked out of the room oh my god i swear to god though since that day i went all right i've lent him i lent somebody money one time nobody really not too many people are asking me either,

but there's certain people you know who you can lend money to and who you cannot. Yeah. Straight up and down, flat. And I mean, that woman that she'd lent money to, no. How much did you lend when you did? Rent. Oh, rent. Yeah, like a friend of mine was like, hey, man, I'm fucking, you know what I mean?

It's like, cool, great, yeah, because I had the means to do it or whatever. But I also learned, as stupid as it sounds, I learned about credit cards from my mom because she was in fucking debt. I've never had credit card debt for that reason. Anytime I buy anything on a credit card, I fucking put the money on it. Yeah. Let me ask real quick. How much would you lend me? Right now.

Yeah, but put a scenario where I'm like, I need it, where I'm broke. Let's say I realize the overhead I've spent on the podcast was way too high.

Yeah. And I'm broke and I say, I need some money to get everything back. I would lend you $1,000 right now. That's it. Really. I could go.

Here's what we did. So how much money would you lend me? $1,000. That's it. That's the exact type of person that should get nothing. Not a dollar, not a penny, not a cent. Get fucked. $1,000. $1,000 is out of no- I would lend Russell as much as he needed.

Your father's a fucking lawyer astronaut. This man literally said a thousand dollars to your eyes. That's not nothing. In New York City? No, it's not nothing. A thousand dollars? That was obviously a starting offer. What if I'm $10,000 in debt?

I don't have $10,000 lying around to give you. A thousand dollars is big money if you need money. Am I going to go into my savings or my vacation fund? What do you want him to do? That's the question. Sure. No, no, no. You don't know how much he has.

I don't give a fuck how much he has. It doesn't matter how much he has. He'll take a $1,000 Uber back from this if he's feeling tired. What he's willing to lend you, though, you can't as a person asking, complain about how much somebody's willing to give you. You can't do it! I can go, I would give a higher I would dig deeper. You know what we call

those people? Pricks. Cocksuckers. Only a fucking psycho would say something like that. You'd only give me $1,000 or I'd give you $10. Okay, cool. Get the fuck out of my face. I would, until it hurt me, I would help you out. That's my point. So you're a problem. You're a problem. No, no, no. You're saying it like this.

You didn't say you were at the bottom of a well, like homeless. No, no, no. A thousand dollars as a starting point is big money. I'm saying if I'm starving. I would let you stay in my house if you didn't have a home. Okay, that feels more true. How long would you let me stay in your house?

Can you imagine this, though? Honest to God, this man asked for a favor, then he goes, I would do a bigger favor. My favor would be so big. You're the loser. We're here. According to you, as long as you're giving, one should just go, oh, what a generous fellow you are.

How about this comparison? If I said if I needed a place to stay if I was homeless, how long could I stay in your place? You said a day. And I said, a day? I'd let you stay for as long as you needed. You're saying that I'm crazy. Yes. Go back to the world of the rich, sir. One day? This is

growing up with money. This is what it does to people right here. Because if the man is willing, yes, if the man is willing to lend you $1,000, take it. Oh, I would take it. Don't get me wrong. But then complain about it? Yes. To his eyes. If he was rolling in it? By the way, I did have to,

I let someone stay at my house on my couch for a while. How long? I had to ask them to leave. How long? Because they weren't leaving. They said they needed two weeks. And I said, and it was someone I worked with that i was friendly with but not friend friends with so i said two weeks great fine um and then two weeks like came and they still didn't have a job and they still blah blah and then it was like into week three oof and it got to the end of week three and i was like hey, Hey, like, what did you know?

It's tough for you right now, but we, you know, it's a full house. We, I have other roommates like you're on our couch. Uh, we got, uh,

you know, you can, you have until the end of the week and then, and then you gotta, you gotta find somewhere else. Um, I'm sorry. That's why you can sympathize with landlords.

Um, they say they, they said, okay, fine. And they're doing well now. They, they have an apartment.

They're fine. They have a job. And if they said to you, hey, Russell, you ever need a place, you can come to mine, but just for two days. Okay. But they wouldn't, though. You didn't lend him anything. Yeah. Do you see where the discrepancies lie here?

You could say, I could have said anything and you would have said you would have done more. Does that make sense? Because my answer would have said you would have done more. Does that make sense? Because my answer would have been like whatever you need. Because you can call your dad. You can call your fucking dad. I would call my dad if my friend needs money. Exactly.

He can call nobody. It's coming out of his pocket. He's giving you $1,000. From the streets of uptown New York. I came from two public school teachers. I am not nothing. The guy lives in 385th Street. He's basically in Albany, for God's sake.

And you want him to give you $45,000 today? Yeah. Good cock-sucking Christ. Oh, my God. Cut back on Central AC for you. Can I, real side note here, real, real quick. Because, again, whatever, just talking about my mom real quick. I apologize.

My mom also just sort of treated me like a little adult in a way. So she sent me to Sunday school when I was a kid. I think just because she was like, I have a kid. This is what you do. Whatever. Because my brother didn't go, but I did. Whatever. But she picks me up one day and she's like, do you want to go?

Do you like going there? And I was like, no, I don't yeah you know like i don't it's it's not a good time i have a nintendo this kind of cuts into that and she goes okay well when you grow up you can pick a religion and as a kid i just kind of went sick yeah but then you grow up and you go, man, that's really fucking cool for a parent to do that. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? My parents did the same thing.

They were like, do you want to go? And I said, no. Because, yeah, again, staying home on Sunday is better than going to something. So then nothing happened. And you're like, oh, that's nice. Yes. I have no sort of thing with that. It's like, I don't know.

It's a nice thing to let your kid pick. And so then you stopped after that. You just stopped going? The last time I went to a church for a church reason, other than like a wedding, I'm not kidding. When we were kids, me and my friend wanted to go see the movie Anaconda. You had to be 14. We were like 12, 13.

I don't remember Is that Canadian ratings? PG-14? I guess yeah Yeah Because we're PG-13 here I've just never heard 14 As an age

I think Maybe it was 13 then I think it was 14 No I think it was 14 I think it was 14 But in Canada it's different Wow Wow

We did ban the KFC double down For a while too They were just like You can't unleash this On the public But anyway So we were like fuck we want to go see this movie but we can't so my friend was talking to his mom and she goes she was really religious and she goes i'll take you guys to see anaconda if you come to church with me so the last time i was in a church was to the only reason i went was to see John Voight be eaten by a snake.

There is something really funny about religion like if you relied on just letting kids pick, there would be no religion because all kids would be like, no, I don't want to do that. Like it would just be if it relied on kids having to genuinely be into it.

If the church really wanted to revamp you go like, movie tickets. You go up to 15 year olds, we'll buy you a beer. I'll go to a into it. Yeah. If you, you could, I mean, if the church really wanted to revamp, you go like, movie tickets. You go up to 15 year olds. Yeah. We'll buy you a beer. I'll go to a movie today for movie tickets. No,

sorry. I'll go to a church today for movie tickets. Easily. Yeah. $18 tickets to go listen to whatever. Amen.

Hammer time. Whatever the fuck they're saying. Movie pass came back and they were like, we have fixed the problem. We have now collaborated with the catholic church and you come in because catholic churches if we're being serious are gorgeous of course establishments of course i'd like to sit there for a minute or a bar yeah

pog for those or whatever they want to call it but as far as like the the stuff that's happening that's the stuff i don't really want to do it. But for movie tickets? Oh, yeah. Are we kidding? I feel like as religion, you know, fades, a lot of these churches will become cool cafes. Yeah, some of them have already. Some of them have like apartments, right? I think.

Yeah. Turning churches into apartments. Yeah. I like doing, I think doing shows in churches feels cool. I've done a couple. It's interesting. Yeah. It's like.

Usually the ceilings are too high for comedy. Way too high. People are in pews. You're also in front of like the Lord. Yeah. I would perform with Jesus

as a backdrop. I think that's a good backdrop. One day someone will put like the Christ Comedy Club just on his outstretched arms like this. I bet you that's already a thing. I don't know that it is,

but I bet you somewhere that is a thing. Every time you try to name a comedy thing and it has the word comedy someone's done it somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like porn. Exactly. I was't know that it is, but I bet you somewhere that is a thing. Every time you try to name a comedy thing and it has the word comedy, someone's done it somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like porn. Exactly.

I was going to say, if you walk past the bestiality section, that's what. It was Christ's Comedy Club right there. And what does your mom do for work? How's she doing now? My mom's doing okay. My mom works with a dude who is quadriplegic. Oh, like helping him with stuff. Yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. And do you, I don't know if this is too personal, do you send money to your mom or is she fine? No, I have at some point in time, you know what I mean? And I would. Sure. But no.

Let me ask, when you go out with your parents for dinner, do you pay for the meal? Depends. Not on an everyday thing, but like sometimes. It's probably like, if it break down percentage wise, probably 30, 70.

Sure. Yeah. But last year was the first where I said with all my younger siblings, I was like, okay, it's time for me to pick up all the meals for all my younger siblings. And I felt, okay, it's time for me to pick up all the meals for all my younger siblings.

And I felt good. Yeah. You have an older brother. I bought a meal for you before. Give me your candy. I have a younger brother. Russell's like, I'd buy an appetizer for you. I go, thanks.

You have a younger brother. I have a younger brother, yeah. What does he do? Right now, I think he's just chilling. He was a security guard for a while. you i got thanks you have a younger brother i have a younger brother yeah what does he do uh right now i think he's just chilling he was he was a security guard for a while and then after the pandemic they laid off the entire goddamn building oh my god um yeah yeah but he's still nova scotia kicking life in the dick yeah yeah um do you miss nova scotia do you like nova scotia i do yeah every time i see a seagull, I think about it. What is it like?

I don't really know anything. Do you see the movie Banshee of Inchon? Yes. I've seen the trailer. I'm dying to see it. It's not like that, but it's a little like that. But it's not like that. It's a city and stuff.

But I watched that movie, and I was like, oh, I get all of this. The spite, the seagulls, the fucking... I really like that movie. Is it a small community? No, Halifax is like a 700,000 fucking person city. But just like Nova Scotia in general, Celtic deals, you know what I mean? I mean, the closest thing to Halifax is Boston. The first time I went to Boston, I go, oh, this is the same place.

Cobblestone Street, college town. People have weird accents. Drinking, fucking clam chowder. We got all that. Yeah. You worked at some point in fast food, right? I did. You have a lot of great fast food bits.

This is a very serious portion of the podcast. A second ago, we were talking about sucking a dog's dick, and then it's like he crossed his leg to go. So you worked in fast food. I did. I worked at A&W in Canada. The best job I've ever had. Is that a Canadian chain? Because I don't know.

It's like a root beer, right? It is a Canadian chain. I think it started in Winnipeg, but there is some of them here, mostly closer to the border. I see. A&W is awesome. I worked at the one in Bears Lake. This is solely for any single human being that, if anybody listening to this is from Halifaxifax they'll be like i know that place um because i get real stupid about that the end you guys saw world war uh z no i've not seen it no but i know that's a brad pitt one right it's

brad pitt so long story short they fight zombies blah blah the in this movie the only safe place on earth is nova scotia because it's a peninsula so at the end of the movie brad pitt goes to nova scotia and i was in the theater i hated that is it because it's a peninsula. So at the end of the movie, Brad Pitt goes to Nova Scotia and I was in the theater. I hated that movie. Is it because it's a peninsula or is it because there was a good tax break there for filming movies so that became where they needed the movie to end? Sure. But this isn't in the movie.

That would be, you know what I mean? In the movie purposes, because you can just block the highway and then there's no way to get from anywhere else. I see, yeah. Anyways, Brad Pitt at the end goes to Nova Scotia and I was like,

fuck yeah! I was just jacked to hear Nova Scotia in Brad Pitt. Sorry. Oh, no, I saw. A&W, I worked there

when I was 16 and the reason I started working there actually, I had just quit my job pushing carts across the street at the Atlantic Superstore which years

later i ended up buying this coat from but um uh i started working there because there was a these like agents that had come to town and they did like a casting call uh-huh and i went and i was like mom i want to do this she's like it was like 800 bucks i was like i'm not fucking paying for that it's fucking bullshit she's like, it was like 800 bucks. I was like, I'm not fucking paying for that. It's fucking bullshit. She's 100% right. It was bullshit. It was a lot of money.

And it was complete bullshit. But I didn't know that. I'm a child. I was like, so anyways, I started working at A&W solely to make $800 so that I could pay for this thing myself. But by the time I had been working there and everything, I met a lot of cool people. And I kind of realized that that thing was bullshit. So I just kept working at A&W. And it was, I love, first of all, I still love A&W to this day.

And I loved working there. What did you love about working there? Dude, it was so fun. Like, it was just working with, like. Were you cooking? Were you doing the. Yeah, I was in the back. Yeah.

But it was just, like, the people we were working with. It was fucking awesome. Me and this guy, Kyle, on Saturdays, uh c100 the radio station would have a saturday night fever so from 7 to 12 they would just play disco i love disco so me and my friend kyle would be like hey can we go make onion rings in the back and we just make onion rings while blaring disco it kicked ass like it was just and it was also like you're young enough that all the money you get is like you can look at it i got four hundred dollars yeah it's not it doesn't it's not accounted for at all do you know i'm saying yeah yeah you're just like i have four hundred dollars yeah this is huge yeah and i'm working with people that i

really like i mean i i uh i love that fucking job yeah today it would be rough like going back in and be like how much do you love it 400 but i could go in there right now i'll make a pop-up burger today starbucks too i could make like basically any of the fucking are there's the generic canadians being more polite but like was it fun because the customers i feel like working fast food in america it's got to be rough sure depending on where you are depending on where you are. Depending on where you are, I guess. But it must have been, I mean,

if it was a, oh, it would be horrible. That McDonald's that used to be in, on not McDougal, but Bleecker, not even Bleecker,

what's that fucking street? It's closed now. But anyways, the McDonald's in the West Village. The one in the West Village. Holy. That famous one. It's famous for being rough.

A haunted house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the West Village? It was right beside, by the Comedy Cellar. It was right by the rough. A haunted house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the West Village? It was right beside. It was by the Comedy Cellar. It was right by the Fat Black. The big, that big abandoned building now that has boarded up. That was a two-floor McDonald's.

And every night, man, you could just see brawls in there. There was videos of people getting, like, somebody got beat to death in there. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So in the city, oh, my. Times Square Square McDonald's Can you imagine

Oh my god Yeah But it was great There was one No no Totally I'm saying working Oh my god

Sure Miserable But no Working at that place People would snap sometimes When it was really busy But mostly it was just like Yeah

I worked at night too So it was less busy I worked from like Five to ten Or whatever it was Yeah So it's less busy at night we also just take chicken that they made like a whole bunch of chicken and what they would do you'd you'd make the chicken deep fry the chicken then you put it in a fridge and you set it for an hour not a fridge like a little tray burner whatever the fuck you set it for an hour and once the timer goes off they were like throw that chicken out and we'd like, this is perfectly good chicken.

It's been sitting here for an hour. And we'd put it in a bucket, sneak it out. And then me and friends and shit would just eat chicken, walking home, throwing bones. I mean, it kicked ass. The job really kicked ass. You get free food. That's great. Well, we stole that food.

They didn't want us to do that. But we took it. I worked at an ice cream store when I was in high school. And it was connected. It was the same building as a subway. there was a subway on one side and they were owned by the same person. So as ice cream store and we as the ice cream store employees were allowed to eat as much ice cream as we wanted. And the subway employees were allowed to eat free subway, but we weren't allowed to have the other one, even though they're the same thing. But of course, we would make deals with each other and you're making things for the other

person. But they were really strict about it. They'd get really mad if they caught you like eating Subway. How would you how would you secretly do it? Well, there was most the time you don't have a person there. You know, most of the time you're on your own. The owner's not there. Yeah.

But if they saw the wrappers, you know, you'd have to like kind of the time you're on your own. The owner's not there. Yeah. But if they saw the rappers, you know, you'd have to like, kind of like hide it and do that thing. I think it's funny because like, you need Subway

more than they need ice cream. If we're talking about like, survival in society. They definitely have the upper hand. They're like, give us a gallon for a pickle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I need something. But I love that job. Well, it just was like, again, small town, give us a gallon for a pickle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I need something. But I love that job. Well, it just was like, again, small town, so not that many people coming in. It's not like that stressful. That's like a great lesson in trade. I feel like you all could have gone into it. Well, there's a reason that Kevin Spacey in American Beauty goes work at a fast food place again.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. He does. His life is shit. It's falling apart. He hates his job. His wife's fucking around. He goes, I'm going to go back

to when things were calm. I'm going to go get my job back at Mr. Frosty's or whatever that place was. Because it was just like, as a child, as an adult, obviously it's much different.

You have bills and you have real things. But as a kid, all of the money is yours and it's a party. Who gives a fuck? Fire me. I don't even i'll get

another job talk about talk about something in that movie that i always bring up with tova i don't think she takes it seriously but i say american beauty the moment where they're about to like have sex like there's a moment him and his wife they're finally about to have sex again they feel passionate and she notices that the wine glass is about to spill on the rug. And I say to Tova all the time, I'm like, because Tova didn't come from money. And we both have very, and I think like our views on how much money we want in life is very different because of it. And I say to her like, I know viscerally, truthfully, that the money doesn't buy the happiness. In an emotional way of just like, be careful. Because it seems like it's going to be the thing

you want to keep obtaining. It's about the connection with people. And I say that moment when I saw it at like whatever young age I saw American Beauty, way too young to understand all of it. I was like, that's the thing I never want in my life. I never want to have nice things to a degree where we're worried about the things yeah that seems great nonetheless i think that's exactly

where we're going couch movie's great yeah um i mean just you're more a fan of kevin spacey's social life than his movie work but i almost did uh talk about thank Thank you for just fully shut down. Just like, yep, I am. Speaking of weird acting things, I almost did that Kevin Spacey masterclass series like a year before he got busted. He was one of the first masterclass teachers. That wouldn't be weird if it's before... You know what I mean?

The guy's a fucking fantastic actor. Oh, no doubt. But he keeps every... He's one of those... It's the same with Harvey Weinstein where it's like, the 10th lawsuit has been settled from the 4P.

You're like, God damn, the numbers is insane. Yeah. And it always seems like he's going to be working again on some weird European, Turkish movie.

And then like 10 more things come out. They just gave him an award. Yeah, he filmed something in Rome or something. Yeah, he just got an award. No, seriously. He just got an award for something. There's got to be a wildlife to vacillate between getting guilty verdicts and awards. You guys got to really fuck your head up.

He wasn't found guilty in the one thing. Here. The one thing they said it was to but then other, he definitely recently had to pay some obscene money. I don't know why I had to be like he actually wasn't, he actually got off. I guess my joke

before was more accurate than we care to acknowledge. I'm just saying that what I've heard lately, that's the only thing I had heard lately. I apologize for bringing up American Beauty but it was just that whole thing of talking about him going back to that restaurant there's a real reason for that because when i saw it's like a bill cosby bit that we yeah let's go go what we're saying i when i saw it at the time i didn't really get it either but then as an adult when you gotta pay tax and all this kind of shit you go yeah fuck man working at a and w just making

food and laugh with people was pretty fucking great and i thought it was great at the time but then you really think about it and just go people was pretty fucking great. And I thought it was great at the time, but then you really think about it and you just go, that was pretty awesome. I look back, again, this is very privileged. I never had a really regular daytime job. I was going to ask you what your first job was. I'm glad I waited.

Horse petter. Horse brusher. Yeah, brusher. I couldn't think of the word. Horse petter is like an even fancier word. Equestrian. Horses are very interesting because my dad did,

he is into horses. But horse, horse. You can only give me $1,000. But horses. My dad would give me a whole fucking stallion. But there's some people

who do horses that are quite impoverished. It's such a mix of like people with no money and they just have a horse and a TV from the 60s, and then uber rich people. Are you talking about farmers? No, horses. I'm talking about horses.

But what are they doing with a horse? Because maybe they're getting a horse to try to look like your dad. The overhead of horses can be so high that some people could- You grew up with horses? I hate, listen. I take back what I said. You know, at the beginning- You grew up with horses? I hate- Listen. I take back what I said. You know, at the beginning, I was like, I don't hate rich people. This is disgusting.

You grew up with a horse. Did you have horses? Multiple horses. But like, my- Did you have horses? Just answer this real quick. Did you have horses? My dad had no- My dad had one horse.

But let me just- What was the horse's name? Let me just say something about my dad. What was the horse's name? His first horse- First horse. Was Ernie horse's name? Let me just say something about my dad. What was the horse's name? His first horse was Ernie. Ernie died. Ernie died. Multiple horses.

Well, he's an animal. We all die. Why Ernie, by the way? I'd have to ask my dad. My dad, I've always, my thing with people who love horses, there's a kind of adult that loves horses because it's the only mammal bigger than them who doesn't judge them for their past sins horses have some fucked up people

like my father he's of there's people who like horses because it's like it's a sign of wealth and then there's people who love horses because they need a big fucking mammal that they can hug and feel love back from that mammal.

And the mammal doesn't go like, well, you're a narcissist. Well, you're a monster. And that's why my dad likes horses. My stepfather is the one who is the lawyer. My dad is the kind of guy who's had wealth and then lives in, has vacillated, big vacillation. So he's had horses as a wealthy man. has vacillated, big vacillation. So he's had horses as a wealthy man and he's had a horse where he kept it in the backyard

because he didn't have money, but he kept that horse going because it meant so much to him. How many horses? Currently, I don't know if he has a horse right now. I don't know if he has a horse right now. Wait, look at stables. Three horses. But why were we talking about at? Stables. Yes. Three horses.

But, why were we stuck about horses? Because I was a horse petter. Oh, I, you know, if I ever hear you on,

if I ever hear you on stage being like, gosh, the subway's crazy. Talk about the horses. I do need to do a horse bit. I, I'm,

I feel glad that I did wait tables in high school I was a singing waiter And I did another restaurant At the Peach Pit? No it was in D.C. It used to be called What is that?

Oh I don't remember I'm sorry I really tried to throw a thing in there I thought it would get a polite laugh I fucked up I apologize It was called i'm sorry i really tried to throw a thing in there i thought we'd get a polite laugh i fucked up i apologize go ahead it was called mimi's and then it's called stars and i was glad i did that again i i had the privilege but working in as a singing waiter you get to feel what it's you get to feel what it's like to be deeply disrespected sure and that's good but i remember when i moved to new york i was like i was very lonely you know i i just didn't know anyone and i had friends who were like get a job

get a job this is how you make friends this is how you connect to the world and then i look back and i'm like if i could go back i would i would say that to myself now too and i didn't i was just trying to pursue being an actor, all these things. So that was your first job? My first job was I was waiting tables at both of these places. How old were you? 16.

And I'm so glad you look back. It wasn't fun. I like the singing waiter because I like to sing. No, that seems tough. I'm not fucking around. No, but I like it.

Being a singing waiter seems rough. But being a comedian's tough. But I'm not fucking around. No, but I like it. Being a singing waiter seems rough. But being a comedian is tough. You work. But I'm not serving the food, too. That's the... The frustration is when they got annoyed, like, where have you been? Our water.

And you're like, I was singing. Yeah, I was singing. I was performing. Circle of life right over there. I was on a waffle. And I think it was... It wasn't like the... What is it called here? Stardust? Ellen Stardust. Ellen Stardust, yeah. I mean, like, uh, uh, the, the, what is it called here?

Stardust. Stardust. Yeah. I mean, those people are paid a lot of money. They're, they're doing well. It's fun.

This was like, you're paid poorly. No one's dreams were to be here. And there, there was the older people who really still wanted to have that shot in the professional singing world. And you're like, that's not going to happen.

So it was, it was a, it was a sad place. Um, but that was the job I did. But I, yeah, that's, I never, I did catering once in a while, but never consistently. So now you're rolling in it. You have money now.

Yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah. I'm going to go buy a horse after this. Do you still think you have a scarcity mindset, as they say? Sure, but I'm not rolling in it either. I know you're not rolling in it, but you're doing fine. I can pay my bills.

I can buy my pink coats. Yeah? Yeah. How much was that coat? 85 Canadian dollars. Really? I bought it with a bag of ketchup chips. I just like it.

Yeah, it's a great coat. I remember when I went to Canada, and I saw my merch for 20 bucks. And I wasn't going to factor in the exchange rate. But then when I finished, I was like, oh, I made a lot less off this merch. What is it now? What's the Canadian dollar to the American dollar? I don't know. It's around like probably 70-something.

I don't fucking know. It goes up, it goes down. When I first moved here, the Canadian dollar was $1.04. So I made money moving to America. Oh, I see. Yeah. That's nice. But now it's not that at all.

I think it's like $78, $79. It's such an exciting feeling to go somewhere and your money suddenly means more and more. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty great. I don't know where you can do that now. Yeah. All right. Well, let's go on to our next segment.

This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. What was that segment called? The one we just did? The whole podcast. Just clip the downside. Just clip the downside. And then we get to 10.

This has got to stop. We like to, is there something, can be particular, can be grand, needs to stop, bothers you, annoys you on a daily basis. I have one if you want me to go first. Yeah. One thing I want to stop.

Whenever something good happens, let's say like when I did Cordon, and people go, how do you feel? I hate it. It ruins whatever I'm feeling for me. My whole life, I work to be more just be in the moment. And when someone asks me, how do I feel? Suddenly I feel like I don't feel what they're looking for. I don't feel enough of it. I have to now put on some kind of feeling

in a way that they can understand rather than I can be excited and be not smiling. And so I think asking people just going like, just going like, congrats, just congrats. But when someone says, how do you feel? To me, it opens up. That's what my therapist is supposed to ask me. How do you feel? It opens up just a whole world of like, well, how do I feel?

Why still I'm scared of dying even though this good thing happened so i think that as a response as as needs to go away because it it fucks up certain kind of people any thoughts for us or you want to i'm thinking sure um how do you feel about that i um i think i know i feel like I know who you are talking about. They say that a lot. Oh, it's multiple people. This is not one of my specific. I hope they're listening.

No, I think I can see where you're coming from on that. I think congrats is easier and a quicker thing because you're not looking for self-reflection in that moment. But I don't know if I have a strong feeling on it. Just sometimes people will say – it's also when people go like, dude, you're killing it. Because there's a feeling of like, oh, I need to – you're asking for me to have a specific thank you. You know, I don't – things where you are kind of requiring someone to give you a specific emotion back or they go, what, you know, I don't, I don't. Things where you are kind of requiring someone to give you a specific emotion back or they go, what, you're not?

What, you don't feel good? You should feel great. It's something about that exchange of like wanting, asking someone to give you a specific emotional reaction back. So my thing is, so I'll respond to this and then I'll go into my own thing. This just kind of reminds me, comedians, we should be executed.

You know, we're just like awful. Like people are, um, most people are like just regular human beings. And what you did is like, maybe exciting to them. So they're just trying to have a conversation. And then we're always like, oh, yeah, but why are you going to ask it like that? Can't you just say, man, I just bought milk. Do you know what I mean?

Like my life is, I just bought milk. Sure. Can I talk to you about this thing? And now you're telling me to go fuck myself, comedian? But I'm not telling them to go fuck themselves. I'm not saying you personally. I feel, oh, I feel so, I'm doing it. I'm doing the social contract.

I get you. But I'm saying comedians should be executed. My thing is it's got to stop. Cigars in comedy. I hate it. I hate every single thing about it. People suck it on sticks. Do they?

I didn't know that's a thing. I hate it. Well, it's a very specific. I hate the fuck out of it. I hate it. I hate it. People are smoking cigars while they perform? No, no, no.

But on podcasts and stuff, people are sitting around eating cigars, talking about fucking barefoot board short fighters. I just can't like, I hate it. We're not warlords. We're not fucking dictators. We're not stomping through. You know what I mean? I hate it.

I hate it. There's no aristocrats. There's no fucking, it's disgraceful. And I hate it because if any other group of pete let's say actors if there was actors every week sitting on podcasts eating sticks talking about man you see that barefoot guy fight that other barefoot guy puff puff ring comedians would murder these people yeah murder them make Make fun of all of them. But when it's comedians doing it, no, we're cool.

We're hip. We're fucking. We're Arnold. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Get cigars. You're talking like a Joe Rogan type culture.

I'm talking many things. I'm talking get cigars out of comedy. But you don't like cigars. Get it out. Where are cigars okay? Where do you not see people with cigars? Your dad riding his horse. Yeah.

Suck on all the cigars you want, pal. Just about every other facet society. Get the fuck. You work for BP Oil. You just drilled into a brand new war-torn country. Smoke a cigar. Do you know what I mean? So it needs to be accompanied by

a bad teeth. What about at a wedding? The guys go off, they smoke a cigar. I'm not pro-cigar. I don't care. I don't like cigars. I have no horse in this race. I'm like my father. It depends on who's getting married and what the situation is. But I'm not...

I'm against cigars kind of, but then cigars in comedy. I'm against cigars in comedy. I'm against cigars in comedy. I see. George Burns. Get him out of here. No, that's it. Stops there.

That's it. To me. Cigarettes, are you a fan? Oh, I'd love four or five. Four or five at a time. Would you do it on stage if you could? If comedians, I don't smoke. But I mean, if comedians were sitting around eating cigarettes.

Chainsmoking. Yeah, just. That's more of a comedian thing. Yeah. Cigarettes. Like a pigeon. Yes. So it's something about.

There's a putting on airs-ness to cigars. It's like if a comedian started wearing crowns. You'd go, you're not conquerors. Like the cigar to you, it entails some degree of like power or some degree of you did a big thing. You think you're somebody. It's a putting on airs thing. It's like, you know, it's a putting on airs thing it's like uh you know it's it's uh

i just picture rolling through vietnam in a tank being like look what we did here boys you know napalmed a whole fucking cigars aren't for comedy yeah okay all right r All right. Ron White, too. Great. Works for him. That makes all the sense in the world. See?

There's always exceptions. Of course. Of course there is. But I'm talking about, he's wearing a suit. He's wearing a suit and he's drinking fucking bourbon on stage.

This is who he is. He came into the podcast studio smoking a cigar already. Great, yes. He didn't sit down and go like, are we going to do the cigars today?

He's not wearing this t-shirt. What is that, a seal? Or a dog? Pokemon? That's Pikachu. Shit, man. See this, right? And this is fine.

But I'm saying, this is the type of thing that somebody would wear and then smoke a cigar. If you smoke, look. Like it's natural. Like it's part of their life. If you smoke a cigar

wearing a graphic tee, you don't look sophisticated. You look like you leave your children in the car. It's not cool. I hate it. This is me, though. I'm just, You don't look sophisticated. You look like you leave your children in the car. It's not cool. I hate it. This is me, though.

I'm just, you know what I mean? This is me. I get it. Everybody loves UFC and cigar. I can't fucking take it anymore. Maybe it's a having a dad thing. Maybe, man. Maybe if my dad had stuck around and just,

I'm going to get a Cuban for my toddler. All right, let's go to our last segment. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessings. Something specific we are thankful for. Russell, you got a blessing? yeah there was an older woman today on the way here she stopped me, she saw me in the show and she

stopped me and gave me a very nice compliment and uh what'd she say? just like I loved it well she like stopped me I had headphones on and she'd seen it back in October but I was just in the understudy then. So she was just like,

she was like, she gave a specific compliment, that she was disappointed that she wasn't seeing the real person. And then she really loved me in the thing. It was her favorite part of the show. So it was a nice compliment. It was nice to be stopped

and get a compliment on the way here. I was like, fuck, it's early. I'm on the way here. But it was a nice's early. I'm you know on the way here. But it was a nice thing. So thank you to that woman. I've grown numb to stuff like that. But I remember in the beginning. It doesn't happen to me very often.

So it was a nice thing. It is a nice thing. Yeah. My blessing other than you know. The wealth that I was born into. It's a great name for a horse by the way. Blessings. Yes. The horse. great name for a horse, by the way. Blessings? Yes.

The horse. I lose things a lot. I misplace things a lot. And I got the most recent iPhone case I have, like, beeps, like, loud. And man, oh, man, does it make my life better. You push a button? How do you know? You go on your phone.

You go find my blank and, you know, find my life better. You push a button? How do you know? You go on your phone, you go find my blank and find my headphone case. And the old one had a beep but it was like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a nightmare. This one, you know right where it is

and it's saved hours of my life. Wow. I want everything, phone, keys, glasses, if I could... Yeah. So that's my blessing. It's a good feature. That's not bad. I mean mean now that we've been talking i want to say uh my blessing is that i got to go through

metal gear solid at the time that i got to go through it what a beautiful time i'm not i'm not kidding me and my brother at the time sold we took our super nintendo to uh gamestop not gamestop game fuck what's that place called babbage's no it was like it was it was specific We took our Super Nintendo to GameStop. Not GameStop. Game... Fuck, what's that place called? Babbage's? No, it was specific to... It wasn't a chain.

It was in our neighborhood. I see. Game something fuck. Anyways, we took it down there and sold a system with three games solely for Metal Gear Solid. That two-disc little fucking thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got some chips, man. We put that thing in there.

And dude, Metal Gear Solid is still one of the greatest things that's ever kind of... It was so great to go through. disc little fucking thing yeah we got some chips man we put that thing in there and dude metal gear solid is still one of the greatest things that's ever kind of so great to go through well you talked about like so so basically there's this boss that can read your mind essentially so it seems like it's you're unable to beat them and the thing that you have to figure out is you move your controller from port one to port two which is something you would never do in any game ever. And there's like, there's a degree where as things become more digital,

you're like, man, sometimes things that are physical, you feel like the fact that you had to physically do something in the real world. It was so cool. I remember super Nintendo, the way you'd like, there was something called a game shark and you'd,

you'd like put the game in the game shark. And it felt like a piece of an illegal something. And it was so cool. And now it's like you'd enter a code. And you just don't feel that excitement anymore. Totally. I always buy hard copy games. I don't want to just download things.

But also, did you ever play, real quick, and I apologize, did you gear solid 3 i did that was the last one i played okay do you remember the guy big boss the whole game it's the one that's outdoors it's outdoors you're not are you you are a big boss i think so okay yeah because it's like takes place back in whatever yes yes so do you remember the end the guy named the end the sniper remind me so there's a guy in this game he's very very old. He's a sniper. Every time you move, he shoots you. And the way you can kill him easily is you, before you even go into the game, you go into the system. You put the years up like 50 or 100.

When you go back in the game, he's dead. Oh. He's dead. Because he waited. You know what I mean? He died of old age. I am so happy that I went through those type of video games at the time that I would have been able to do them.

I love the times that I played video games. I skipped so much school, dude. One system, what are you going to have if you could only have one video game system? I literally just re-bought a PlayStation 3. Really? So I could go through Grand Theft Auto 4 because I skipped it at the time. Grand Theft Auto, that's one of those games when the new one comes out

where I'm like, what if I... Grand Theft Auto 4 is amazing. I can't even believe I didn't like it at the time. It's the best. I don't know, PlayStation 2, 3. You should do voiceover for one of the Grand Theft Games. I would kill somebody. I would kill somebody.

I would kill somebody to do that. I would kill somebody to do that I would literally murder a human person you would do Grand Theft Auto in real life I'll pick up a hooker pay her 50 dollars get blown and then murder her down by the docks to then do the voice of the guy that does that in the game I would kill somebody that would be the greatest fucking thing ever. I would call my brother and go, you can't even believe I'm in a fucking, dude. That would blow my dick through my own ass. And that would be amazing.

My friend just had to audition, but you're welcome to do all those things too. All right, this episode's coming out February 7th anything you wanna plug Russell uh Instagram Russell

at Russell J. Daniels and uh come see Titanic uh at the Del Roth Theater uh so uh February 7th

this is coming out anything you'd like to plug um I'll be in Indianapolis uh February 14th at um Helium

also uh Money Never Wakes comic special on YouTube please check it out it's there February 14th at Helium. Also, Money Never Wakes, comic special on YouTube. Please check it out. It's there. Watch it. It's very good.

I will be in Charlotte, Comedy Zone tomorrow, February 8th. Asheville, February 9th. Bristol, Tennessee, 10th and the 11th. And I will be in Vancouver, February 16th, Bristol, Tennessee, 10th and the 11th. And I will be in Vancouver February 16th

for JFL Vancouver. It's just one show. Would love to sell it out. It's a very big theater. So please come to that if you're listening. Canadians listening for Nathan, please come on out. yeah, and just as a quick side note, fuck you Roku.

Fuck you Roku. Fuck you Roku. I now have two broken televisions in my apartment. The second one's on you, man. The second one, Nolan Voight's the first one. You deserve that.

You should hang it up as a reminder of who you are as a person. You know what's crazy? We text that to Tovaler, you deserve that second TV because I feel like I'm getting all the weight of it. Who is in charge of it

though? Who is in charge of ordering these from the beginning? Okay. Go text Tova. Go text your manager. You know what makes me laugh about it real quick? It's that Roku made two TVs and they were like, nobody's ever going to buy these. And I go, you're never going to believe this. The same guy bought them.

This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.