The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #132 Hooking Up at The Marfan Conference with Liam Nelson

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Comedian Liam Nelson joins to discuss his first Marfan Conference hook up, playing Chewbacca for fraternity parties, getting a pig heart implant, guys wanting to fight you just for being tall, asking��Dikembe Mutombo for shopping advice, and then Russell brags about all the celebrities who’ve seen his off-Broadway show. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Liam Nelson on Instagram Get tickets to Liam's shows at https://linktr.ee/liamnelsoncomedy Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram See Russell in Titanique in NYC! E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the downside. My name is Gimarco Cerezi. I'm in a good mood. Wow. I'm in a good mood. We can't say why. No. But it is a rare good mood. Yeah. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hi.

Russell, I saw the whale. I, listen, you should have gotten the part. I know it's... It did come down between me and Brendan Fraser. I saw a tweet that said, it was like, I walked out of the whale because I saw another big guy and he gave me the Wakanda forever sign. And we're here with my guest today, who's open for me on the road. Fantastic comedian, Liam Nelson. Hello.

I'm here as well. Did you see The Whale? No, that's not my movie. No, I don't know. It's not for me. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know who it's for.

It's not for me. No, it's for everybody. Is it? But listen, it was good. I told Russell, like, listen, I make jokes on the show, but when it opens, it opens with him bent over jerking off. And it was so designed to make you go, ugh, that I was like, okay, I get people being like, hey, what the fuck? Could you at least give this to someone?

the fuck yeah could you at least give this to someone and it's he does he does it so well and he's so good that often what's lost in these conversations about who should and who shouldn't you take it completely out of the context of did the person create good art yeah with it and i think it was so good and and you know brendan's not brendan's i don't feel like it ended up being that much of a conversation whether he should or not. Or whether just that story was like in terms of I think a lot of people were like, this is like, you know, someone that fat isn't put into movies unless it's like in a situation that's like really depressing. Yes. You know, so I think that that felt like it was more of what people were responding to. Yes.

So I think that felt like it was more of what people were responding to. I felt like initially it was that conversation, and then it was more about just should this kind of story be what we're showing. Yeah, I get it. I don't know what the answer is. There are fat people that fat that can't leave their house and stuff. But how many of them? Well, I don't know. We had a guest on recently who has cerebral palsy and was talking about like –

basically he was saying there's some big argument, a certain argument of like, well, if the movie is about a blind guy, we need to get Robert De Niro because there's no blind movie stars who will raise enough money to make this movie happen. And he was saying that's a bullshit argument, which I don't know. I don't know. All I know is it was a very good movie um there was there was one there was one like eating scene where he goes like on a bench where he's like he's he's like trying to kill himself yeah and it was it was intense like

garfield um everyone garfield used to eat and he would just like unlock his jaw and like it would just pour in. Do you remember that? Yeah, but then the nurse didn't come in and said, you're going to die today, Garfield. Your life is so sad, Garfield. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That would be a fun comic. Odie will miss you, Garfield.

Clinically obese Garfield just every time. They're really trying to get him to stop. That cat loved food. And he's like, or he just hated life. That's true. And every day they tell him he's gonna die, he's like,

it's Tuesday, I know I'm gonna die on a Monday because I hate Mondays. But I'm gonna do my, before we get to you, Liam, but feel free,

I'm gonna do my this has gotta stop right now because it was in the whale. This scene, that opens with him jerking off. No spoilers. It opens with this. He's watching porn.

And when they depict pornography in TVs and movies, they're always like, we're going to show you. It's going to be real porn. And it's always a waist up shot. It's always a waist up shot standing in a shower usually she's naked he's from behind yeah and and she's just uh uh uh and that's like to in the movie

world it's like whoa we did it you never see you never see what we're watching you never see if they had opened it and it was like a woman on a double penetration just just crazy it's just ridiculous

and I think there's a degree of like don't show it or show it these are the two options but if you show me a fake version of porn yeah

it's just bullshit you could just play you could do audio and not show it, you know, and it could be graphic, you know. Or you could just show it

because here's another point. Or you could just find a real porn video and pay them a little bit of money like to do it, I'm sure. Sure.

You know, rather than hiring two actors to pretend. And the two actors in the porn were wearing fat suits. No. No.

How is it working? I, it's just, find a porn, a real porn, pay those actors. Yeah, that's what I said. Give them a fucking, oh, that's what you said, a real one. Support a small business owner. Yeah, yeah. Go and, you know, wouldn't cost that much probably to do it. Yeah.

But it was the same with uh uh white lotus white lotus he was watching a porn and it was like just a woman yeah you're like that's not masturbating and again you don't and he's like he's there like yeah yeah no they're like oh these people are watching this with their parents we don't want to freak them out too much exactly this is like the appropriate like oh everyone just look away for a second don't talk and then we'll all meet back in the middle in two. Yes. And I think especially with the whale, I felt the, it felt strange because the whale is diving into like body and death and such heavy topics that it's just like you see where our priorities lie.

Once again, that sex is taboo and someone dying. Yeah. Dying. You see more of his body than you do the porn star's bodies. Yeah. And they're in a porn. Yeah.

I was watching the Hunger Games the other day and I watched a 13-year-old snap another 13-year-old's neck and I'm like, this is PG-13, huh? Yeah. Crazy.

Yeah. It would be funny if we lived in a world where truly the violence was R-rated and PG-13 movies were porn. Yeah. Yeah. It would be funny if we lived in a world where truly the violence was R-rated and PG-13 movies were porn. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there was a time, though.

It's called Europe. In the beginning, like, there was a time, I think probably earlier on, the rating system was weirder. Like, you could, like, there could be a pair of boobs and it could be PG-13 still. I do remember my mom. It doesn't feel like that could be the case anymore like it's gotten more conservative i feel like yeah or like i think of like uh um temple of doom indiana jones and they are ripping out hearts they are eating like it's just it very graphic people are getting set on fire yeah and it's pg from in 1985 pg so you're

like that was before pg-13 i think so you had to fight an r with all your heart what did your mom People are getting set on fire. Yeah. And it's PG from in 1985. PG. PG. So you're like. Because that was before PG-13. I think so. So you had to fight an R with all your heart. What did your mom. My mom. So she like recommended 16 candles to me and my very young friend. We were like eight or something.

And we. There's like the scene where she's naked. And I'm like. Oh. We both kind of panic. Because we're like. Okay. Yeah.

What do we do? Because like my mom gave this to us to watch. How old were you? I was like eight. But we're like. We're not supposed to be to how old were you i was like eight but we're like we're not supposed to be seeing this so like does she know like can we just dispose of the dvd and then it'll never so we just hit it we hit it yeah because like we didn't know she remembered that there's titties in the movie my dad my dad let me watch a lot of movies but not crazy but i had a

sleepover when i was probably around eight and and my dad thought that we had gotten Frankenstein. But instead, we got, and this was all a mistake, Lil Frankenstein. Oh. The Mel Brooks movie. Young Frankenstein. Dr. Young Frankenstein. Lil. Lil.

Lil. Lil. Lil. Lil. Lil Frankenstein. Is it like a Leprechaun 2 in the hood situation? And I've never been a Mel Brooks guy. I haven't either.

Isn't it strange? It is strange. I want to like him a lot more. I don't dislike him, but I don't really. Anytime I've seen anything, I'm like. It's always like, ha ha, yes, yes, yes. You grew up in a time where there's more nuancedha, yes, yes, yes. You grew up in a time where there's more nuanced satire available, I feel like.

And then you go back and watch the old stuff that a lot of people knew. But I liked the spoof. I liked Naked Gun when I was a kid. Yeah, that's true. Sure, but that's different. That was maybe more absurd. Yeah, but people all the time are like, well, have you seen Spaceballs? And I'm like, that's the last thing I'm – I hate Star Wars to begin with. Okay.

You're a Star Wars boy? Yeah, I like Star Wars. I like the original. Forgive me. You've never mentioned a single Star Wars thing. What I was saying – so we got Teeny Weeny Frankenstein. And there's a – Itty Bitty Frankenstein.

And there's a pair – at some point there's a... Itty Bitty Frankenstein. Itty Bitty Frankenstein. And there's a pair... At some point, there's a long scene with tits. Oh, yeah. And like, it was just... It was that same thing. You like doing it.

Just throwing them in there. Because kids were watching those movies, too, with their dads in movie theaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't imagine that. Do you remember watching Pixar

and they just threw in some tits all of a sudden? Yeah. Especially like Incredibles. Is that a superhero one? Okay, hold on. But in Incredibles, they do... I mean, the ass on on. But at Incredibles, they do.

I mean, the ass on every woman in a Pixar movie is unnecessarily like detailed. They put, so they have one animator just for that. That's a good sketch. That's a good sketch. You're showing the new characters and like one of the asses is huge and they go, Hey,

what's yeah. So I, I, yeah, that uh uh yeah that was my that was my early this gotta stop if i'm gonna see porn you either do it or you don't do it all the way i want to i want to see some furry stuff yeah two minutes into this movie i think it's the problem is i'm sure i bet i'm gonna look it up i bet you those porn people are like SAG actors and that's what it is. And so they like decided they had to play by SAG rules. I bet you that's, I bet you that's what it is. Well, that's why I don't understand why you can't just like go find a real porn

and then go to the people that made that. Because I don't think you could use it in a SAG production because SAG would be like, we don't approve of penetration. I bet that SAG work cannot have penetration. Yeah, then don't show it. This is the downside.

You're listening to The Downside with Gianmarco Cerezi. Well, speaking of full-on penetration, we are here with Liam Nelson, who was conceived with penetration. That's all I meant. I hope so. Let me just say, for people who are new,

this is the downside. This is a place where people can be who they really are, which is a piece of shit. They can complain. They can kvetch. They can whine. They don't have to be thankful. They don't have to be grateful. They can be honest. We're human beings. We are negative human beings. If you are a listener or if you dig the show,

join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. You get bonus episodes. Our live episodes, like the one we just recorded with Steph Tolev in Houston. You also get my clean comedy special, which I'm not releasing publicly because I'm embarrassed I made a clean album. You get to witness my embarrassment for just $5 a month. So, Liam, how are you doing? I'm doing well. I'm excited to be here. Liam, we're new friends. He opened for me recently in Connecticut. And apparently, I was on stage.

So, you know, I sell cum towels. Yeah. And what happened while I was on stage exactly? So, John Marco, you're what? Like towards the end of your set, I think. It was like maybe 45 minutes into your set. And I hear a loud crash outside the door. And then I just see like a server's head pop up, panicked.

And she's looking around. She had apparently dropped an entire tray of red wine on the merch table which is covered in towels and then used the towels to clean up the spill. How much did she charge her? She used the towels to clean up the spill. Well the initial plan was them not to

tell him and they were like oh he doesn't count them. The booker said oh Jim Walker doesn't count the towels just don't tell him. Oh my god. Don't tell him. And were like oh he doesn't count the booker said the booker said oh jay roger doesn't count the towels just don't tell him oh my god and he comes over to me like during the internet he's like oh yeah you're good we just won't tell him he'll be fine i'm like i don't do you think i'm on your side right yeah and so i go back in the green room i just see a ball of all your merch covered in red wine with Not covered in cum, covered in red wine. And he took care of it. He paid for them?

Yeah, I think six towels. It's normally be 120, but I gave him the wholesale value price. And he gave me 50 bucks, which I was happy with. Yeah. He was happy with. But can you imagine? Don't tell him. Don't tell him. Don't tell him.

That is some wicked shit. I'm glad that you found out on your own and I didn't have to be like, hey, so they destroyed a bunch of your merch. Take that how you will. And then him be all like,

oh, you fucking ratted on me. Do you think you would have known if they had told you? Absolutely not. You wouldn't have known. Absolutely not. He was completely right. He was completely right. He was completely right. You wouldn't have known. He was. He was completely right. He was completely right in that assessment.

He was completely right. You wouldn't have known. Devious mastermind. Just put out six in the place. I do think one day I'd be homeless on the street and I'd go, where did it go wrong? I only had that $50 more. You'd just see a flash of a Cookie Monster t-shirt in the back of your head. I currently bought a thousand more towels and they are too many towels.

How often do you go through a thousand more towels and they are they're too many towels how often do you go through a thousand towels i mean it depends on depends on the month i'm sure your best your best month you've ever had best month i've ever had could probably like 70 70 okay 70 towels at 20 a pop yeah so we're talking... God, can you say something? We're talking. We're talking. How much money is that?

20 times... $1,400. $1,400, yeah. He threw to him for the math on your statement. All right, now hit me with the... I think for this batch of 1,000, I paid three grand. And if I sell it all, I will make a batch of a thousand, I paid three grand. And if I sell it all, I will make a profit of 17 grand. That's a get rich quick scheme right there.

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sharing our love for milk. There's love in every glass. Dairy Farmers of Ontario. From our families to your table. Everybody milk. Visit milk.org to learn more. So, Liam, I'm so excited to talk to you. I hate to say, you joke about it at the moment, you talk on stage. How tall are you, Liam?

I'm seven feet tall. You know, you're sitting when I came in. And I didn't really know until you got up to go over there that you're quite tall. You couldn't tell that he was tall? I could tell he's tall, but not like. His legs are under the couch. I can play footsie with you right now. But you know, it doesn't seem, sometimes I feel like I've met another person that was like seven something. Yeah. I can play footsie with you right now. But you know, it doesn't seem, um, sometimes I feel like I've met another person that was

like seven something. Yeah. And it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel like I'm not looking and being like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Do you know? We've talked about you saying that when I bring guests on. Yeah.

You just looking at them and going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are we dealing with here today? going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are we dealing with here today? Every time I open the door to let in a guest, I go, Russell? Russell? Try to be. Try to not say anything. Seven feet.

Yeah, I'm a very skinny man, though, so that's why you're not getting the like. Because I shot an event for Shaq one time, and I'm like, man, I look like his skeleton. It's crazy how much bigger of a person he is than me. Did you get to talk to him? Yeah, briefly. He got so excited that his videographer was also tall. It was for one of his dubstep DJ events. What did he say?

Was he just like, whoa! How tall is Shaq? He's like 7'2", but also high fives with the force of a thousand buildings falling. He's so big. You've seen him smash rims. It's crazy. He's a giant person and we're like two inches

difference. Is it surreal? I'm fairly tall. I'm 6'4". When I was with Pete Holmes, he's taller than me. And it really is, I feel small. And it's a feeling I don't have that often. But it is quite incredible to be like, wow, I'm looking up to you.

You're a big, and because he's a celebrity in my mind, it is like, it fits. It's like, oh, dad. But when I meet like a smaller celebrity, there's probably like, oh, you're a mini. You're just a little thing Yeah there was one time I was at a I'm gonna be Tova's Birthday party

It was at that That one place Around here Uh huh That was Tova's birthday And there was Sour Mouse Three people

That were all the same height I think you were one of them Maybe It was all like six four And I was in a conversation And I was like It's so rare for me to feel Like the short person

In the conversation You know what I mean Yeah yeah yeah And I really was like Oh my god What's going on here Like to have Like even three people so rare for me to feel like the short person in the conversation you know what i mean like and i really was like oh my god what's going on here like to have like even three people is a lot of a certain height to make you feel small when you don't feel it i go to conferences uh so i have i think a marfan syndrome and we'll obviously talk about that more in a bit but we go to conferences all together so me and a bunch of people with my same genetic disorder all will hang out in a random city once a year and then we walk around with matching t-shirts on and people lose their

fucking minds they're like is this a family reunion or something why are some of you black i don't know what do the t-shirts say uh just like a annual like marfan foundation conference but you they're usually in a fun is everyone's tall um that's actually one of my what was the what's the thing called uh get that this gotta stop that's one of my get this has got to stop uh everyone for some reason i'm in here whenever i talk about having marfan syndrome they're like oh tall disease no uh it's genetic so like it does make you like taller and thinner than most people but it's it all it's up to your genetics you know like i was going to be probably six six anyway imagine a world where i wasn't medically flawed and six six i'd be killing it

sure yeah that's gotta suck though if you're like a guy and you have marfans and you're not even tall you don't even get that no i got some friends who just have like the heart condition so oh geez oh that's brutal because i know a little bit about Marfins because I think at some point they, my parents, I don't know why, but they suspected someone. Tell me. I mean, just, I can just see, I would recommend if I saw you, especially as a child, like just. But why?

Because just because I'm, just because I'm kind of lanky. Maybe it's just like, not as much anymore, but I'm imagining you as a child. I know why. I'm imagining you as a child, and I know the exact reason that they were like, maybe we double checked. He was fatter as a child. Did you do a lot of weird shit with your hands as a kid? I mean, what do you mean weird mean like bend them in ways and stuff i don't think so no that's a marvin thing well so yeah we're like uh it's a connective tissue

disorder so like it affects how your entire body's built so everything's more like elastic and fragile basically so it manifests itself in a million different ways but the most classic presentation is like a tall, thin person who can bend all their joints backwards. I can do a whole little freak show of weird jokes. Can you show us? Okay, so thumb.

I'm going to do the thumb stuff. I've lost some of my flexibility over the years. I used to be able to put my leg backwards. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is probably the freakiest looking one. No, no.

Whoa. I can't even look at it yeah wow oh my god wow and so your your parent just sees that it goes oh holy shit holy shit so when i first my pediatric doctor was the one who's like hey when i was five they're like you should get him checked out from our fan syndrome they sent me in. They looked at me and counted on their fingers, which is the diagnosis process. Like if you get a certain number of symptoms and each one counts for a certain number of points and whatever. They told me I didn't have it. And so six years later, when I was 11, they sent me my pediatrician again was like, you should really just double check that they like that he doesn't have this

and they went i went back in got a genetic test and they're like oh he for sure has marfan syndrome like he's the poster child for marfan syndrome like i'm literally on the posters now for the non-profit like really the most like obvious looking case in a lot of ways what's the percentage of people with it like like how many people America? They're still figuring it out. It's like one in every 5,000. It's kind of the vague guess right now, but they're leaning probably closer to one in every 2,500 coming up now just because they're diagnosing.

Also, there's Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is similar. It's like a kind of cousin disorder. Then there's Lois-Deeth Syndrome, which is another cousin disorder. They're both very different. When you say cousin disorder, you mean like if people within a similar gene pool? No, no, no. Oh, I thought that was like the Jewish thing. When we talk with, like my girlfriend, she grew up in a Chabad community,

and they have to test for, I forget what it's called, but to make sure you're not too closely. No, this one's not. Kissing cousin. Yeah. Yeah, there are a lot of Mormon morphs, i will say there there is some intermixing really oh yeah like most of them are either catholic or mormon because they don't you know yeah condoms sure it's like oh yeah spreading the seed this disabled seed what is it cousin

syndrome so uh just it's a similar disorder it manifests itself in a similar way but it impacts the body differently so like it's a similar mutation, and it's hard to tell the difference before the kid is born or early on. It's hard to tell which one they might have. So there's a lot of people who come to this conference that I go to who don't know which one they have fully. They just know the symptoms that they have, and then over time, more symptoms develop,

and then they can get like a categorized diagnosis, you know? So we, but we, like the nonprofit I work for, we work with everyone from all different groups of the connective tissue disorder kind of spectrum. So with those numbers counted, it's probably closer to like one in every 2,500. Wow. What are the, is Mark, connective tissue disorders? Yeah, connective tissue disorders. What are the other big ones?

So Loist Eats, Ehlers-Danlos are the two big ones? So, loysteets, Ehlers-Danlos are the two that I'm familiar with. There's different kinds of Ehlers-Danlos. There's vascular and hypermobile. So, the hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos is like the extreme version of the bendy shit where your shit's popping out of joint multiple times a day.

I get that some. When I stand up from the subway after a super long subway ride, my hip will go out of joint and I have to kind of re-estab establish myself. Do you hear a click? Yeah. Oh yeah. How do you, it's not like it's more of like a deep thud.

It's like, does it feel good to get it back in there? Like a cracking your knuckles in a way that like no longer being stabbed feels good. I don't know sweet sweet release of pain but there's no like ah at the end like oh that's better like you know it's not like cracking your back it's like i can't i mean we were talking about airlines where i had to fly just a four hour recently in the middle and it was so miserable. I mean, I felt like shit, and I cannot imagine. Oh, yeah. No, so, you know, I'm a younger comic, so I'm doing a lot of shitty gigs that don't pay super well.

Yeah, thanks for doing those for me. I haven't flown yet, all right? Well, I'll be driving to those. I'll be good. I'll be less crabby. But, no, it's like it changes the course of my day whether or not I get an exit row or not. And now I have like enough miles and like status to where usually I can get the exit row for free early. Can you tell me how there's not handicap seating on planes?

I never even thought about it. Oh, it's wild. I never even thought about it. And now, listen, I think it's putting all my complaints into perspective. But whenever I see a kid in first class i always got kind of annoyed yeah and now when i think about if you're on the plane yeah punch that kid for me next time yeah yeah but but why that feels like that's like a movement that someone had to have tried at some point people who are like overweight uh tried to get it free to get a second seat uh if you're flying uh and they were able to like deflect that so i think a lot of

people think it'd be a similar process of trying to like because flying is not like a necessary thing supposedly according to the government it's not like protected in the same way that like entering a building is that's crazy crazy. Crazy. God, these airlines. Oh, airlines. I mean, there's so many things that you wouldn't think about not being like included in our basic human rights

that aren't covered by like ADA and shit. Well, that's why I remember briefly the can you get two free tickets for being bigger? Yeah. And it's just the way that America, you know, it became in the political point, it was like, stop. It turns into the thing where america you know it became in the political point it was like

stop you it turns into the thing we're like you need to work out more and it's like guys the bad guys are the airlines also it's half of america is fat yes do you mean to you're like this thing of like it's like literally people who are fat are being like just doable and like you are the person that needs the extra thing too like the people who ruined the college debt relief. We didn't get it with planes where you're like, I've never I've always been on a plane where I'm like, this is at least 15 years old. This plane. Do you mean?

Yeah. Are they not making new planes anymore? Like, like, just make them a little bit bigger and put in some big seats. I was on a plane and the plane took off and the cockpit door swung open. And I was like, oh and the plane took off and the cockpit door swung open. And I was like, oh my God, what? I thought this is like garden. Yeah, that's crazy.

Just letting the terrorists in. And he hit the thing and I was like, oh my God. And no one's allowed to stand up for the beginning. The cockpit door takes out both pilots. It crashes the plane. I can't even imagine. It really does make me livid. That makes me so angry. It's not fun. I will say, I don't really tweet

very often, but if you look at my Twitter, four of my ten tweets are like, hey, Delta, fuck you. What the fuck? I have to fight so hard to not do those tweets. I flew JetBlue on Sunday, waited at baggage claim for two hours. Oh, my God.

And, like, it got stuck, and some of the people got their bags. There were married couples where one person got the bag, the other didn't, and they were going to get divorced just to leave. So what age were you significantly taller than your peers? Um, I mean the whole time, the whole time.

Yeah. I hit like, here's the milestones that I feel like give you a sense of where I was at. So five foot by kindergarten, um, six foot, five feet tall by kindergarten, by kindergarten. And they, and they didn't know you had, they thought you, you were feet tall by kindergarten. By kindergarten? Kindergarten. And they didn't know you had? They thought you were just tall? Yeah. Wait.

Five feet? I do have a question. I am the tallest at Marfan Conference, so I'm weirdly tall even in that community. What's a normal height for a kindergartner or an average? Stop pretending like you don't know, Russell. Three foot four or five. Out of college? I don't know, Russell. Three foot four or five. Pedophiles joke? No, you're clearly a children's tailor, so stop pretending.

Yeah, I was a children's tailor. I don't even know if pedophiles know that. That's why I didn't understand what joke you're making. Pedophiles measure things in lengths of children. John Mulaney had the joke about, like, I could tell the size of the kid's casket by the it was some very dark joke. Five feet. Okay. Let's guess. How tall do you think the average

kindergartner is? Probably I would guess around three feet. Yeah. Okay. Three something. Three to three and a half. Three, four. I'm going to be the outlier. I'm going to say two eight. No, that's too short. Let me look it up. Let me look it up.

Average size. Average size kindergarten. Oh, it says the FBI is blocking this search. Oh, no. It's giving me the average. How big of a bag do I need to get? No, it's giving me fucking class size. How old are kindergartners?

Six. Six. Five and six. Okay. Average. Height. Height. Height. Of a six-year-old. How many kindergartners? Six. Six. Five and six. Okay. Average. Height. Height. Height.

Of a six-year-old. How many kindergartners could I fit into a small van? All right. Average height of a six-year-old boy is 42 to 49 inches. 42. So that's three feet. A lot of math on today's episode. Three feet.

Six inches. So three and a half feet. Three and a half feet three and a half feet and you were god damn yeah so i was way taller now were you were you doing any kind of sports at this time like did you have any brief period where you got to be yes great on the court no i was never great i was there i was out there uh but i wasn't great it was like so i was diagnosed when i was 11 and i was not diagnosed when I was five. So like five to 11 was prime. Like, Oh no, he's fine.

Let's make him play sports time. Yeah. It wasn't even like my dad pressuring me. It was just random men on the street just being like, you better be playing ball. God. Yeah. I'm like, all right, I guess that's my, my task in life. Like from when I was a kid, be like, you're wasting your fucking height by not playing basketball. And I'm like, all right, I guess that's my task in life. Like, from when I was a kid, people were like, you're wasting your fucking height by not playing basketball.

And I'm like, what does that mean? I mean, I shouldn't be alive. You have a responsibility to get out on the court. To the rest of society, I have to get out there or I should be dead. Did Shaq ask you, like, hey, you play ball? No, we interacted very briefly. It was just him being excited about me being taller than me getting right back to, like, just filming and shit. Because he was about to go out and, like, we, we interacted very briefly. It was just him being excited about me being tall than me getting right back to like just filming and shit.

Cause he was about to go out and like DJ, but no, I, I would have, he probably would have like other tall people I've met in the past. Like they came in with tumble, went to my movie theater a lot when I was a kid, the Hawks player. Yeah, no, no. I know who came in with tumblers, but he just went to your movie theater. Well, I'm, I'm, I don't see him as existing in the regular world. I'm from Atlanta.

We happen to go to the same movie theater. So we'd see each other a lot. And then every time I ask him a new question, because the first time he's like, oh, yeah, you play ball? I'm like, no, not really, because I was like 12 at the time, so I just got diagnosed. I didn't play ball anymore. And I asked him where he got his clothes, and he said the internet. And I was like, hell yeah, dude. Where do you get your clothes now?

The internet. There's a store. I got shirts for a while. It's called Tall and Slim. Or Tall. It's just like it's just the tall people store. So I buy my pants from TooTall.com. TooTall.

TooTall. Is it with a number? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that imply that it's- The only business that bullies me while I buy their clothes. Exactly. TooTall. TooTall.

TooTall. So take these pants. What size? Do you want TooTall? Way TooTall. Or get the fuck out of here, you freak too tall. Take these pants. What size? Too tall? Way too tall. Get the fuck out of here, you freak of nature. Giraffe pants. Giraffes have long necks.

Stilt pants. I have worn stilt pants and they fit me one time. Get out of here. Stilt pants. Because I come from a circus family. Really? Yeah. My mom was an event coordinator and and like designer so she did a

lot like she had like cirque de soleil kind of performers around her house all the time and so just a weird bunch of people to be around which helped me not feel as weird i think yeah sure you know i'm they're looking at me they're like hey you'd be super cool on stilts or like oh i'm i was a magician for my whole young life so i was like that's my thing all right i do magic i'm a big tall magician guy. They're all doing fire breathing in my backyard and body painting in my kitchen. I do think it's funny.

Whenever you see, I go to weird museums sometimes and they show like the old freak shows. And you go, these are just people with genetic disorders. Golden years. Yeah. I miss it. It's very funny. Someone was like, let's get these disabled people show this to people yeah

we gotta show this to people yeah that it is crazy that that was just called really like the bearded lady it's just like but yeah it's work lady's got a hormone issue check her out throw stuff at her when you got diagnosed was diagnosed, was it scary? Was it a relief? Was it like I knew something was different? I mean, I knew something was different, but I thought it was just me being tall. I think I didn't – it's a hard thing to – because when you're that young, it's a weirdly heavy thing to drop on your shoulders.

I was thinking about the transition to middle school for the last year leading up to it and then i got diagnosed with like a life-changing genetic disorder and i went home and googled it and like up until 20 years ago you had maybe 30 years to live with marfan syndrome and that's like information that's still publicly available to people and and what what what uh so it took people out. I mean, yeah, for me, it took me out completely. I fully like kind of retreated into myself, got super depressed for like four years because like, you know, uh, the, the surgeries that were developed that kind of basically made the difference is, uh, an aortic repair surgery, which I've had, uh, where they replaced the main valve of your heart.

And so it doesn't explode with, with what, with, well? I think it's like a pig heart. Wow. Wait, when did that happen that they were able to figure that out to make this huge difference? Between the time, like within the last 20 years. So the doctors who name Lois Dietz Syndrome are still alive. Dr. Dietz is a person that I know who established one of these similar

disorders so like it's all the last 30 years marfan research has gone from zero to where it is now but what a wild thing to be like i'm finding out you're having this thing yeah there's i'm gonna die yeah by the time i'm 30 years old oh yeah and then to live through finding out that there's what was that like like when it was announced this, all of a sudden there's this huge breakthrough. What was that experience? The breakthrough had been made previously to me being diagnosed, but like I was 11 and I went home and I Googled this new thing that I had. And I saw 40 articles being like, the average lifespan is 35. And I'm like, did your parents know to be like, hey, let's Google it together so we can breathe through this.

That's a rough Google. Oh, my God. I don't know what would have happened if I were to find that information. Fuck you up. So I don't know if you heard in my set. I have an interesting parent situation. I love my parents, but they're definitely, like, quirky. Like, my dad's done a lot of ecstasy my whole life,

like every day. So he's kind of a wild person. Yeah. Like weekly. He's like, so he's like, son, you're going to become one with the universe.

I can ascend. Yeah. So it's, there was definitely like, they were dealing with their own stuff. And like my mom fully like disengaged from every part of it like she's like i don't want to think about you dying so i'm gonna not learn about this thing jesus fucking christ so my dad was like taking me to appointments and he was the one in charge of all my medical stuff and then my mom was like well i'll help schedule stuff but i don't want to know the dangers and meet all your new friends who have the thing who might die in like three years

and it's like it's a whole like roller coaster so it's like it's i definitely took whenever i got that information it threw me for like three years uh fully like i only did shit that i wanted to do which it was an interesting moment to have like you kind of reprioritizes you have to do you have to do a lot of things as a kid but like when you're a kid who thinks they're dying you don't have to do shit like i'm just like yeah living above the academic world that i was like previously like drowning in yeah just like not giving a single shit are you even paying attention in class no i mean i so that's when i started making movies because i had to stop playing basketball. And, you know,

I would always skip basketball practice to... You had to stop because... Yeah, I can't... Like, I could somewhat as a kid, but, like... Because of the heart? Yeah.

At a certain point, like, it's very dangerous for you to be playing basketball at, like, a high school level. Even middle school, elementary school, it's not recommended, but, like, kids will still do it

just because it's, like... And not just basketball. You mean aerobic activity? Any sport. Yeah. So any sport is off limits, according to my doctor. And so every person who's ever come up to me on the street, everyone who's ever interacted with me, gotten excited about me having a basketball career, told me to remember them one day when I'm accepting some NBA award. Some guy at the sunglasses stand at the mall was like i'm gonna see you on

tv one day you know it's like did you ever snap and go like i'm gonna be dead in five minutes motherfucker it's it depends on the day so like that was it was a whole process of like learning that and then i went to my first marfan conference when i was 14 through this non-profit and so part of why i think i felt that way is i had never had anyone in my life who actually understood what i was going through and like had my same thing and sure prove me wrong in a way that like wasn't my doctor being like oh you'll be fine because that's that's what they're gonna tell you they're doctors all right they're not gonna be like you're fucked kid like you're sure um so this marfan what is this organization called the marfan foundation the marfan foundation yeah is it it's america-based american-based yeah it's uh used to be national but now it's international but it's it's mostly in america

they have a big conference once a year at a different location around the country where people can come and get like specialty medical care get their screenings because we have to get like echocardiograms and mris once a year usually so it's not just a fun conference it's also like a medical checkup yeah go and make sure you're getting like they're... Not everyone does that because I have access to that in my home state. So I can get high quality clinic care. But there's a lot of people who live in rural America who don't live within eight hours of anyone who even knows what Marfan syndrome is. That conference has to be fascinating only because Marfan has no political ideology. It's got to be one of the biggest

blends of diverse I mean touring having that as like a network is crazy cause like I have people in every state they come out to every show and it's the most different people and we're only friends because we have a medical thing that's like wrong

with us and it's a that's another thing I'll mention later. But I'm very thankful for that community. Almost some days so thankful for the community that I find myself being thankful for the disorder. Because my life wouldn't be how it is and I wouldn't have access to these people and this kind of level of support. But that level of support wouldn't mean as much if i didn't need it of course yeah and this this this body is there is there a precedent of it is there like a leader or is it like so there's a ceo um and there's it's like a big you know corporate non-profit uh there's like

uh they the heads currently were poached from the american heart association so they're like big big wig non-wig nonprofit people. And that's another one of my— Are they not Marfan's people? No. Only one person who currently works for the foundation has Marfan syndrome, and it's my friend Dominga. And she is the lowest-paid employee at the Marfan Foundation,

who they keep around as like a token. You guys got to rise up. Oh, we got to get some Marfans in there. I don't know if it's going to make their own army in the entire world, but yeah, no, we're not, we're not,

we're not fighters, but we, Hey, we'll, we'll get there. All right. It's a, I mean,

you know, it's, that's another one of my, God, I keep forgetting the name of the thing. That's got to stop. This has got to stop. Yeah.

This whole show is really, this has got to stop. Republicans running nonprofits for medical conditions. It really does feel like a responsibility, even if you're very liberal, to be like, if you are the main organization for a medical condition, unlike many other areas where I'm like, you can be, you can say who you are. You should be apolitical because it's so important for this organization to. Part of it is like the CEO of the Marfan Foundation votes against me having health care every election cycle. Yeah. So like why am I leaning on you for support for a problem that you're helping create?

Yeah. You know, like it's crazy. Does it feel like you guys... Are you guys unified? Like, oh, who's going to get the Marfan vote this election? No. Well well here's the thing so like the the board is full of people with marfan syndrome and people have interacted with the foundation and they control the foundation as like it's the same as like a

corporate you know any sort of corporate structure but the people who are at the top of the foundation have a lot of financial ties there's some things going on behind the scenes. I'm not going to talk too much about just because not everything's public, but like I have a lot of direct connections with doctors who are in charge, who are responsible for getting a lot of the biggest donations that come into the foundation. Yeah. And so I've been working with them to make sure that certain things are

earmarked for like a camp that I do for kids with Marfan syndrome. Certain things are earmarked for like a camp that I do for kids with Marfan syndrome. Certain things are earmarked for conference and they can't be spent anywhere else on, you know, five figure dinners and seven figure compensation for the CEO every year. Seven figures for a medical nonprofit. It's insane. So in terms of, I never know, what's the terminology in terms of someone who has Marfan's to a degree where they live less? Do you say their Marfan's is extreme or they have more? Also, there's neonatal Marfan syndrome, which is like a specific kind of type. And you can see it from birth. Typically, it's most commonly found in kids of two people with marfan

syndrome already uh or you get like a weird anomaly and you it's just like a more severe version so is it not is it discouraged then for you to have a partner that has marfans that's a whole thing too because i was wondering you're having these conferences you're all going there you have things in common i lost my virginity at some fucking... I lost my virginity at Marble Fence Conference. Sure. Because I was 14 and I was like, man, no one will ever want to touch me. And then I'm like, man, it's everyone who also thought that. That's crazy. Do they provide you guys with longer beds?

No. They love scheduling conference in a place with the lowest possible ceilings and no wheelchair access. So we're just carrying people upstairs. You got to make a show, man. I love you get to a conference room and the ceiling's too low for every attendee

at that conference, except for the president. Yeah, except for the non-affected people who are in charge of the foundation. So you lost to Virginia at 14? 15, yeah. 15. And you went to that conference and it was just like... It was like 15-year-old fooling around. Oh, sure, sure. 15. Yeah. And you went to that conference and it was just like. It was like, yeah, you know, it was like 15 year old like fooling around.

Oh, sure, sure. And she was like, it was like the situation, she was very nice and older and we had been hanging out the whole weekend and like, it was very much like. How old were we talking about here? Like 17. Okay. Okay. It's okay.

So. We've heard some stories. I mean. No. Where did your mind go? My mind went to 50, 60. Not a crime. Not a crime. Not a crime.

Not a crime. Okay, thank God. Wow. Yeah. What was it like when you went to that conference? Was it glorious? Was it? I mean, so going from literally never meeting a single other person with Marfan syndrome

to meeting 601 weekend is crazy. Like, that, like, 35 number that I had in in my head i literally met a man who was 72 that weekend and i met like a dozen people who were over 35 that must be great to be that guy and walking around and know everyone that sees him it's like shout out i know yeah still alive and he's not even the oldest one like there's there's people living you can live a pretty normal life with it as long as you're really on top of your medical care and like you know can live a pretty normal life with it as long as you're really on top of your medical care and like you know they there is more possibility for you to have like a premature death but like and i've unfortunately one of the side effects of being brought together in a community around a medical

disorder is that you will lose people and that's part of it you know it's like i have to lean on these people when my life is hard but but these people have my same thing. And so like not everyone makes it, you know, and it's, it's tough to deal with, but like at the end of the day, we're all thankful that we have it, you know, like it's, sometimes it's a little overwhelming to be like, not only dealing with your thing, but also knowing that that could happen to me. Like that, my friend who was like 20, would be 27 now uh passed away like two years ago um yeah just random like heart it just random just random like did not expect it at all just

didn't show up to conference next year uh we had like a memorial but yeah now every year we have like a memorial for someone we lost in the last year so it's like it's not everyone is as you know sustainable as me i'd say like i'm very lucky with how it's affected me but like it's yeah it manifests itself differently with everybody yeah it's just gotta be i just can't imagine just having to adjust to like dealing with losing people that that frequently and early it makes there are times where it makes you want to like dealing with losing people that that frequently and early it makes there are times where it makes you want to like step away from the community and only focus on like your issues but then you find yourself like i've i found a lot of my purpose in this like late

i don't know i keep wanting to say later part of my life just because i've like lived a lot but you have very early i think about you know i'm 34 now and i certainly like in the last couple years i was like fuck i'm i am getting older and i'm experiencing life and i know there will come a day where i have more people that i know that will die it's still infrequent yeah people i'm really close with right and i know that that will be a phase of life yeah and it'll be jarring and i will at least hopefully be in my 30s or 40s or 50s i cannot imagine yeah because how old are you i'm 23 you're 23 23 yeah and it's like and i yeah i've lost like five friends just since attending conference. Like people I've known pretty well.

Yeah. And they're not all young, but like, you know, some people are older, but it's still like. Yeah. I mean, a 55 year old man whose son goes to camp every year died last year randomly. And now I have to see his son next year at camp and be like, hey. Yeah. Sorry about your dad. We're all sad for you.

Yeah. All right. Let's go to camp let's all have this thing still like yeah wait so back to russell's question about in terms of of having children what what is the who even says like hey guys here's our thoughts on this like what what do doctors it's yeah it's like that's probably the most contentious area of this because you know know, everyone in any community, especially like you said, with one where it's there's no political like homogeny with like how we feel, you know. So it's like you get the most differing opinions on that issue because some people think like gene therapy is the way to go. That's like the future. They think like being able to find out if your kid is going to have Marfan syndrome and remove the gene through like CRISPR.

CRISPR, yeah. And I know someone who has had both of his kids through that process and they've both come out great and he's very happy that he did it. But then some people, a lot of like religious people have a problem with that for certain reasons. A lot of. What are your views on it? I mean, I don't know. It's a tough thing to... Like, I wouldn't want my kid to have to experience the hardship that I've experienced.

But I also... It is a little weird to be, like, building a kid like that. You know? It's weird to be like, oh, I'm going to take this experience that i've experienced away from this kid not just sure not have a kid because of it but i'm like gonna have a kid but i'm gonna make sure that kid doesn't have my like i would probably do it yeah i i understand where the hesitation comes from because it there's an element of like do i hate myself because of those feelings about that process? Like,

do I want to reject this massive part of who I am? And like, you know, it's selfish to want to put that on a kid just because you have something, but like, sure. I guess the closest I could, like if someone told me if I could have a kid and remove depression.

Yeah. Like I've, I originally, I was, I thought like bal balding but then i'm like no something that i actually right because balding would be an easy i'd say please yeah take this way but like but i can understand what you're saying i mean you know not fully obviously but like a degree of like what would that mean what would that take away from them what what and that idea of designing because i think in my head the immediate impulse i have is truthfully is like oh yeah do the crisper yeah but so you think you would i think i would there's

been some new things with the foundation where like they've started talking more and uh like we're trying to cure marfan syndrome lens and that's the side of the argument that makes me kind of hesitate with that direction because it becomes you know an institution trying to teach like teach us how to not have more disabled children or like fixing the fact that children are being born disabled you know it's like yeah they're trying to like it's it feels very like autism speaks you know know, it's very like, oh, we're trying to like fix this thing that's inherently built into a lot of people already. And that's our main message

is we're just going to focus on fixing the next generation and then neglect the existing people. That makes a lot of sense. Like if we keep having more people with Marfan syndrome, that research keeps getting developed. But if we don't, we're just fucked. Sure. Like if suddenly no one ever needed a wheelchair't, we're just fucked. Like, sure. Like,

like if suddenly no one ever needed a wheelchair again, except for those that currently do, it's not like society is going to become more accessible. It would be much less accessible. Like the day after that was realized, I imagine like as soon as, you know, cause like if you using autism speaks an example,

the reason they had so much funding is because one of the co-founders of home Depot's son had autism. And that was like, what got him into being an activist in that lane. Yeah. So like, if that's not possible, then we're fucked,

you know? I see what you're saying. So like, we don't have new, I hate to say like fresh blood being like brought into the community of people with like power and resources who want to help. Who want to help. Cause like at a blood being, like, brought into the community of people with, like, power and resources who want to help. Yeah. Who want to help.

Because, like, at a certain point, once we get into this community, we all are, like, trying to help each other, you know? And, like, the medical side of it's trying to help. The community side of it's trying to help. It's all trying to, we're all trying to make this work the best we can. If we don't have new people coming in and we just have the same group of people who've had this thing and are slowly falling apart, it's much easier to kind of cast us aside when some celebrity, like Troye Sivan has Marfan syndrome. Who is he? Forgive me. He's a musician. He's a singer, yeah.

Very popular among younger people, and he helped a lot of people get diagnosed. Okay, we got it. We understand. We're older. I knew who was i when i said younger people i wasn't counting myself all right so i want you to know that i'm not calling you old i'm just he's cool with us on snapchat okay so so then in terms of you so you're you're growing up you have this conference yeah you're learning more that totally like changed my

whole because you know you go from like oh i'm gonna die at 35 to like oh no i have a pretty normal life ahead of me and most people don't have that like come to jesus moment with their mortality until they're like 70 you know like it's yeah in the shower you're like oh shit i can die let me like re-pivot how i want my life to look i had that when i was 11 you know and then to 14 so it definitely then i really hit the ground running hard with film and I was trying more in school, like just doing things with more like longevity in mind, you know, like making decisions that factored a future into that, you know? Yeah. And meanwhile, your parents are unaware of your entire emotional life. in this you know like i've seen him cry a few times in my life and one of them is when i got diagnosed and he was like processing you know the the fact that like this is a thing that i'm gonna have to deal with forever and yeah the responsibility that he felt even though neither of them have marfan syndrome uh that's another thing it's like usually it's a 50 50 shot of

one parent who has marfan syndrome giving it to the next generation there's also genetic mutations that are just spontaneous and that's what i have. Really? Like, because back to my thing, I originally, the reason I got tested is because they thought one of my grandparents might have had, and, you know, they look at me, and I'm lanky, and they say slender fingers or whatever, and so that's why they test it. I have a bunch of family with similar symptoms to me as well who don't have, like, an official diagnosis, and I don't think that they have it, but I do think and this is very like unconcrete science I do think there's like something where like there can be a perfect storm of like different features all coming together in one person because like my my parents both each have different aspects of like Marfan features so they were they were like

testing both my parents being like which one of you has it neither sure yeah so so in terms of my my dad had a heart surgery last year i couldn't help a bypass and of course i immediately made it about myself where i thought of like oh i'm gonna need whatever this is someday we'll see yeah i'm trying to eat a little better not as as certain but yeah yeah but what age did you go oh i'm gonna'm going to need to get this surgery someday? Because for me, that's an existential terror in and of itself. Yeah, I mean, I think I had my first major surgery when I was 12, and I had, like, knee, or no, 11. I had knee plates put in to, like, correct. So my knees were, like, growing inward, and they were, like, knocking whenever I walked.

Did it hurt? Like, they were just hitting each other? Yeah, I would have, like, bruises on the inside of my knees from, growing inward and they were like knocking whenever I walked. And so they had. Did it hurt? Like they were just hitting each other? Yeah. I would have like bruises on the inside of my knees from like walking around. Oh my God. So they put those plates in that corrected over time. And then the next year I had to fix my feet. So it was like I was, I in towed as well. So they cut my tibia and fibula in half on both legs and rotated them.

Oh man. Every time these surgeries happened, were you out of school for a while? Did it fuck up your social life? Oh, yeah. I mean, and keep in mind, these two surgeries were happening in the process of me being like, I don't give a fuck about school or anything. So I was like, oh, dude. And the doctor was like, really?

We're taking you out. They're like, oh, well, yeah, we're going to take you out of school. So like, oh, dude, I'm home. And the doctor was like, really? We're taking you out. They're like, oh, well, yeah, we're going to take you out of school. So like, oh, we want you to zoom in

to your classes. And I was like, absolutely the fuck not. I'm not doing any of that. So I just was out of school for three months while I was learning to walk again.

Like, it was crazy. I had like, toe to thigh casts for like two months. Yeah. Just lying in bed. Lying in bed,

scooting around the house with my arms and with furniture sliders under my heels. This is when you were 12, so this is 11 years ago. Yeah. So this is 2000. Yeah, so those were my first big two. That's not that long ago.

It's not. I lived in New York City then. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. And then when, so then the heart was when I was like, okay, like I'm going to have to be getting surgeries on a semi regular basis throughout my life. Like when I had two before a year and a half of having this thing, I was like, oh shit.

All right. We're about to be doing this. I got a hernia surgery six years ago. I'm still complaining about it every couple of days. I love how that burst out of you. Like I also got a surgery. All right. complaining about it every couple days. I love how that burst out of you. I also got a surgery. I'm just saying,

the dread, I think about all the time, the dread that comes up in my mind is, I just remember they rolled me into the hospital room. It was my first surgery. All I remember is there were multiple doctors all surrounding me. I know they have something in me. I see the big light or whatever.

And it feels like a horror movie. It feels like a torture device. It feels like, oh, just kill me instead of whatever's about to happen. How old were you when you did this one? I mean, I was 26. See, when you're a kid, they give you Valium, and it's great. Well, let me tell you something. If I can get it next time, I 100% will because I was sobbing.

And there was a nurse that felt like her whole job was just to, like, rub my chest and get me to breathe. And honestly, I feel like the second surgery is going to feel scarier just because I know that journey. Yeah, I mean, I think it was – there are definitely moments where I feel like it was shocking and jarring. I feel like it was shocking and jarring and like I but I the whole process I kind of took in stride more than most people uh because it was like the one time in my life when like everyone was focused on me just existing and being like good job for waking up this morning you know yeah yeah affirming um and so like whenever you're coming off of that you know i was like 17 i got that heart and chest surgery so it was a double whammy surgery they had to take all the cartilage i like the doctor being like we're gonna need to do a double whammy surgery yeah uh this is a twofer all right uh so

they had they took all the cartilage out of my chest uh restructured my entire chest because it was indented so far that it was like pressing on my lungs and stuff. So they fixed all that. Fucked it up. So they had to take two of my ribs out. I found that out afterwards. It was crazy just to learn after you wake up. Are you able?

Nope. I tried it. Nope. Unfortunately, not even the Marilyn Manson ribs. All right. Just two random ribs. Just two random ribs. Yeah.

Not even the Marilyn Manson ribs. All right. Just two random ribs. Just two random ribs. Yeah. Not even the dick sucking ribs. I got the, I got the Manson surgery without any of the Manson benefits. All right. And I'm mad about it. Yeah. But yeah. So it just like, and then I also had the aortic replacement. So it was, it was, they just did everything while they were in there.

But coming out of that and coming off of like, I was in the hospital for a week on that one. And I like set a record for like the shortest recovery time for that surgery and i did that with every one of my surgeries that i did at the children's hospital so i was just dunking on these kids i was just like fucking like the physical therapy people's job was to be like liam are you sure you should be walking right now like that was their like yeah and i was like i pulled my own morphine like two days in because i was like i'm gonna get you pulled it yourself yeah uh because it made me feel. And I was like, I pulled my own morphine like two days in. Cause I was like, I'm going to get better. You pulled it yourself? Yeah.

Cause it made me feel bad. So I was like, all right, hit me with some like oral meds and I'm taking this out. All right. And they're like, okay. Morphine. I thought morphine is like the best. No, it's terrible. It makes your bones feel cold.

Oh God. Life is pain. Before that surgery, were you confident that it was going to be fine? Or did you like, I'm going to have ice cream the day before, just in case this is my out? Oh, I was confident I was going to be fine until... I mean, that's a big... They're putting pig heart. So my mom was the one who drove me to the surgery in the morning, which is just what a terrible idea for that.

I ended up having to talk her down the whole pre-surgery hour, being like, no, Mom, it's okay. I'll be fine. She was mourning your death in front of you. She was panicking that I was going to die. I was like, I haven't really been panicking this whole time, but you know what? I might consider it.

There is something when you're younger because i remember i had my appendix out and it had like burst yeah and it was like one of those things where we're on vacation and i was feeling really bad for a few days and it was like bad enough where i couldn't really walk and so we went to like a walk-in and they were like pretty quickly like oh we need to get him into emergency surgery and they took me in an ambulance to the hospital and it was like this thing where i was like i was 12 and i was like i right now if this happened to me it would be so much scarier to me when i was then when i was 12 but i remember my parents being like my mom was crying and i was like what this doesn't, you know, it's an appendix.

Like, you know, but like it burst and it was leaking for like three days. You definitely have a lot more trust in like a doctor when you're that young. When you're young, you're just like, it seems like it's going to be fine. But your parents are communicating their eyes. You're like, they're much more worried. Oh, my mom was doing it with her mouth and her tears. She was actively sobbing and being like, please don't go. This is it.

This is it. Oh, my God. She's holding onto the bed. I had to take a double dose of Valium that time. Also, because when they roll you into the thing for orthopedic surgery, that is grim in there. Why? The tool table is just power tools. Oh, my God. There's like a Ry is just power tools. Oh my god.

There's like a Ryobi circular saw on the table. No! It's like a white circular saw but with just like a finer blade on it. Why are they letting you see that? Why are they letting you see that? Blindfold me. They thought I was like put me to sleep in the waiting room.

So they only bring it in as you're like going down and it takes me longer to go down because i'm a big person i guess and they i i'm built different uh and so i always i always catch the instrument table coming in right before i go out so it's the last thing in my head before this surgery so i'm just dreaming of all the like tools and i come out of the surgery and the guy's like oh man it took us an extra hour and a half to saw through your chest cavity because your bones are so thick i was like why would you tell me that you know what i thought like because we all heard the horror stories they take off the wrong leg oh yeah

something like that and i remember when my dad was getting the heart surgery i just i think i fully beat i was there long enough that i was like this is these people's work. Yeah. And like, what if one of them had a bad, yeah. Like what if one of them had a bad day? What if it's Dr. Bob's? Well, yes, you realize you're just like, you, you. One little sneeze, you know? Yeah. Yeah, they're just tired or they're just like,

oh, I thought I had today off. And like, that could change. Or they have plans. They have plans later today off and like that could change or they have plans they have plans later they're like i'll just speed this along a little bit i got a birthday party to go to i heard a story of a composer he had dinner plans and so he like he just sped up the tempo a little bit for the whole opera just so he could make his dinner plans and of course if you're doing surgery every day that's what's gonna happen you get so desensitized to it. Yeah. It's, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Cause like,

I mean, when the guy was like, Hey, by the way, I fucked it up. I was like, what you did? What now?

Like you, you messed it up. So you had to take two of my ribs out. Like, how did that happen? Explain yourself. And he's like, Oh,

it's fine. You'll be fine. And then that was all the explanation. Legally. I don't know if he should have phrased it that way. What he actually said was like, there were some complications. Oh,

okay. Cause it took longer. So we ended up taking two of your ribs was like there were some complications because it took longer so we ended up taking two of your ribs out. There's some complications. I fucked up. Whoopsie poopsie. Didn't realize it wasn't

a Marilyn Manson surgery so I gave you an extra one for free. All right. Which, could you feel them? Were you like, oh,

that rib's not there. I don't know which ones they were. They never told me. They offered to give them to me covered in gold. Or like, I can get them bronzed by the hospital. Which is, what a scheme that is.

They're like, yeah, we'll give you your thing, but you have to pay us a bunch of money to put it in bronze first. Can I ask a question? Do you know the answer to this to Hasidics or Orthodox Jews? Do they get pig hearts put in? Or are they like, no, we can't do that?

That's a good question. Because I bet you it's a no, we can't do that? That's a good question. Because I bet you it's a no, we can't do that and that'll make me very upset. Do you look at pigs differently now? I mean, we definitely have a kinship. There's like a little, hey, you and me. If they had offered you,

this is a horrible question, but tell me the truth. If they said, hey, we have the rest of the pig, do you want to eat it? Would you eat the pig? Well, yeah, he already took his heart. Yeah, but it's already dead. I mean, what dish? What dish are we making with the pig?

Whatever you want. A ham. Christmas ham. I have to cook my sacrificial pig? If someone else who's good at cooking will make it for me, I'll eat the pig. I feel like I would be like, no. Give the pig a proper burial. Put it in a casket.

No, it's like the Native American thing of like, let's use the whole thing. Oh, yeah. You're really going to your Native American roots. Now all of a sudden you care about Native American traditions. No, I'm just saying that that is a thing. When it involves eating some bacon, you're like, you know what? Fuck you. I feel like it's more respectful to use it rather than just put it, you know.

I'd make a jacket out of it. I mean, fuck it. You're like, I'd try to bring him back to life so he could be my friend. Give him my old heart. See if that works. Yeah. Hey, that's enough hearts. Pen pals, you know so

let's let's uh talk something a little lighter you played chewbacca yeah uh at parties oh yeah not in the movie uh no bury the lead like you were talking about how much you love star wars yeah right you're like wow the original didn't even know that he plays Chewbacca. He does it in Spaceballs, actually. That's what it is. My favorite movie, Spaceballs. So you perform Chewbacca at parties? At parties, yeah.

Do you own a costume? No. Okay. And that's the gig. I was wondering. Someone else does, but it only fits me. Yeah. Is it like a good costume?

It's a pretty good costume. Is Chewbacca technically supposed to be seven feet? He's tall. Weird story. I have met both of the Chewbaccas. He's not a Wookiee. Listen, I know more about Chewbacca than you do. Star Wars expert, Native American expert.

Yeah. Is this a guy who owns a costume? He's a magician friend who was like hey I got a Chewbacca costume and the guy who was 6'6

who used to wear it doesn't want to anymore because he's moved up in life I'll make it bigger just for you and then he did and so now

I do that at kids parties and frat parties it's funny if you're wearing a Chewbacca costume and then it stops at the knee

and your feet are still sticking out do you have to make noises like do you have to do the thing I mean I don't have to but I do that at kids' parties and prat parties. It's funny if you're wearing a Chewbacca costume and then it stops at the knee and your feet are still sticking out. Do you have to make noises? Like, do you have to do the thing? I mean, I don't have to, but I do it. Okay, so can you do it right now? All right. I might need some water after this because I'm about to choke, but...

You did it. Pretty good, huh? I can't do it. Try it. Come on. Chewbacca choking to death. That's really bad. That's offensive.

Please don't imitate my people like that. I don't appreciate it. That's our word. You sounded like something there just now. Do it again. No, I can't do it. That's what they should have used in the whale for the opening scene. That sound. When he came. That's what they should have used in the whale for the opening scene. That sounds.

When he came, that's what it was. Grr, grr. Is it good money? For like, I started doing it when I was 17. So like, yeah, back then it was like a hundred bucks an hour. Like, it's not bad. Hey, that's not bad at all. Are there other people?

Other characters? Oh, yeah. And it's always like a random. So like kids parties and frat parties are the two, like, things that I do mainly. So there's... Which one's more fun? They're kind of similar, you know? Yeah.

They're, like, one of them. They're both just... I have a joke about it. It's, like, people just stumbling around trying to touch you with sticky fingers. Yeah. Like, everyone... It's a pretty... It's pretty much the same.

And, like, the drunk frat dudes act the same way as, like, a sugar-high nine-year-old in the way that they want to punch me in the fucking chest you know i would feel so guilty if i was at a party and there was a chewbacca i'd be like hey you don't have to do this but then also there's people who like i've run into people who i know in real life while in the costume like i remember my second time ever doing it i was 17 years old and a girl who was a senior at my high school was at the frat party. And she was like 19, and she came up and grabbed my ass and jumped on my back and took a photo. And I went up to her the next day at school, and I was like, hey, remember good seeing you this weekend. And she's like, where did I see you?

And I was like, oh, I was the Chewbacca from that party. And then she goes white, And then we never spoke again. She, like, avoided me in this school of, like, 250 people for the rest of the time that she was there. That's all it takes, a costume. And they're like, I'm going to sexually harass this girl. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah. I mean, truly, the costume is not.

It's, like, the novelty of it. Because, like, I get touched a lot just out of the costume, too. Like, they just think I'm, like, a sideshow that I should be, like, oh, you know, like, very aggressive gay men grab my ass a lot. Because, like, I'm, like, a spectacle, you know? You should, like, grab your ass? Oh, yeah. Like, I work a lot of events, so, like, people will come up and do that as, like, a joke. It's a common joke.

I don't know if you know jokes, John Marco. Do you remember that Uncle Function show where every single member of Uncle Function was harassed by a person? There was a guest, and he really – what did he do to you? He grabbed all of our butts at one point and was like uh aggressive in terms like like you know in a way that you're like you can't like it was a post a time where you're like you gotta be a little more careful sure you know like he was really like handsy yeah yeah he did to all of us he made all of us feel like he was doing it to just us and we didn't realize till the end of the night that he had kind of assaulted all of us. Serial broker.

We all came forward. Ronan Farrow reached out to us the next day. And we made a case. Yeah, it definitely is. I had a barber once in New York. Whenever I was at a summer program here, I saw this barber. And he would harass me the whole appointment. And I think something about me was like it was like interesting

yeah it was interesting to just have a grown man be like you're so beautiful and then there was one session where like whenever he blew the hair off he'd go like and there was one where it crossed the line it was too much for you where i said like this feels creepy yeah and i you know it was a different time yeah i was okay with it i i i was like fine with it but like it was just like a line i have my own line i think my line is probably pretty pretty far yeah like i did i did some show i used to have a joke i used to have a joke and ended with me like bending over and at a gay bar and someone gave me a big slap on the ass and i'm like i'm fine with that yeah yeah but how do when how do you, when they do it to you, do you go like, okay, whatever.

I mean, I think it depends on the context. It's when it's like just them doing it to like make their friends laugh. My response is usually to be like, oh, wow. Oh, do you feel important? Yeah. Oh, good for you, buddy. Oh, wow. Yeah.

It's definitely weirder out of costume too. Like you're like, this is just me as a person. Well, yeah. It's like the dehumanization. Like just because I'm like unique and weird looking to them they think i'm there for their entertainment like i was in chicago one time i was standing on a street corner and this lady comes up to me she's like hey can i have a picture with you i'm a tourist and i was like is this on your like walking tour am i like if you look to your left you see the big fucking tall guy it's like i'm not a spectacle for you to take a

picture with i'm a person yeah you know yeah no it's yeah it's weird it's i mean because i've always like looked older than i am too so it's like i was six feet tall 11 years old having full-grown women come up and like touch me in weird ways or like full-grown men coming up and touch me in weird ways in like a partygrown men coming up and touch me in weird ways in like a party setting they're drunk or whatever but like i remember when i was a kid i went to pride every year because i was just around that community a lot and i grew up with like you know everyone who was in my life was gay because my mom worked with performers um so i would go every year and i remember going there and getting hit on by like adult men when I was like 12. And my response was like, oh, man, wish I was gay.

I'd be killing it right now. You know? Shit. But, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's go on to our segment. This has got to stop.

We've done a lot of this has got to stops. But is there another one you want to say? Oh, there's some more. Oh, shit. Can I pull up my list? Yeah, please. Go ahead. I'm trying to think if I have any of this has got to stops for us. Let me some more. Can I pull up my list? Yeah, please. Go ahead. I'm trying to think if I have any of this.

It's got to stop. Russell? Let me look at my thing, my list. Good, good, good. This is great audio. We're not editing at all. Let me do another plug real quick for the Patreon. Okay.

Guys, the Patreon, sometimes people, you know, you might not even want extra episodes. This might be just right for you, but the Patreon is a good way to support the show. So go to patreon.com slash downside. We got some exciting news coming up we found out today. You have a This Gotta Stop? I do. Okay. This is a real

very specific one. Okay. But it's a joke. Just so you know. You preface every blessing and This Gotta Stop. You either go like it's really short or you go this one's bad. Okay or you go, this one's bad. Okay. You go,

this one is fine. Okay. So what's your, this is okay. So this is very specific. Um, let me just say it's very specific. I hope,

I hope, I hope you get the reference. It's a joke thing that happens in TV shows. Uh huh. And I, I've seen it so many times that I can't see it one more goddamn time in my life. Okay, so this is the joke structure. This character on a TV show, they're going through something.

You know, they get dumped or something. And then they see a young couple in love. And then they're like, it's all nice in the beginning. But then one day you come home and then they say a very specific thing that is like not related. And how many hundreds of TV shows have used this structure or movies? And it drives me nuts because we've seen it so many times that I'm like, who's laughing at that setup anymore? You know what I mean? So they say it to the couple.

They say it to like a young couple or someone going through something. So it's basically like you're having a mental breakdown about something very specific. And then you see and you make it about yourself to someone else. And we've all seen that breakdown happen. And they're like, it's all nice in the beginning. But then, you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. What was the movie or TV show you saw?

I can't remember now. I wrote this down weeks ago. But I was in some sitcom I remember watching. I like this. You can totally come in with sitcom tropes that need to stop because there's a lot of them there's a lot of them the the uh the one that i've seen so many times it used to be um but the i saw i remember i was watching an episode of cheers i was watching an episode of golden growth and it was um i know i like the back of my hand and then they look at the back of their hand and they're like what's that mole you know what i

mean like like there's like things like that that you're like how is that specific thing used so much at you know what i mean so there's just like that happens all the time in sitcoms and anyways i hit that one um i like that a lot i like those that as a as a as a this has got to stop thing things on sitcoms yeah yeah um my this gotta stop uh it's it's a quick one um uh there you know there was a comedian a very famous comedian who like he he sold a special saying uh they wanted me to take out these jokes and i said no so i'm self-releasing it and i believe deep in my soul that is not true. The jokes that were referenced as the jokes they took out, I have seen plenty of. I have seen almost anything in mass-produced comedy specials

and I am now seeing it as a trend. There was another comedian who posted a video who said, I'm trying to keep this vague. I don't know this person personally, but they basically said like amazon took wouldn't let me put this joke out and here's the thing it was uploaded to amazon prime i have a special on amazon prime no one approves a special on amazon prime yeah it's slightly above youtube in terms of it just takes time to process don't behead

anyone in it and you're good. It is such a, it's the laziest marketing tool I've ever seen in my entire life. You're appealing to the dumbest motherfuckers in the world. And then they show a joke that is like, you know, I guess what? It's a joke at Biden's expense. As if that's taboo. That's not taboo. You can make fun of Joe Biden.

But this idea that it was canceled, it's so bad. You'd have to say something so batshit insane. You'd have to something pro-incest or something about fucking a dog and then show a video of you doing it

to be removed. Do not lie. You are encouraging just this dumb line of thinking of like fake censorship that does not exist. It doesn't exist. You fucking losers. Yeah. Just write a good dark joke. Yeah. But I really hate it as a marketing tool.

And it's got to go away because it's got to be debunked. So that's why this has got to stop. Liam. All right, I've got a couple. I got to some of them throughout. This has got to stop. People being offended on behalf of disabled comics.

Like when I come out and I say I have a disability and then they can't laugh for the rest of the set. They're just too busy awing the whole time. Go fuck yourself. I'm a person.

Sure, yeah. Well, i think that's like i think that is one of the the challenges of of of being a disabled comedian is like you have to set the tone until you're well known yeah you know i feel like josh blue uh he goes out there and people he's he's people know who he is yeah but when you're an up-and-comer and that title lasts for a long time if not forever yeah you have to establish it i mean and your your go-to i mean i saw what one of your go-tos was yeah which is what i'm i'm seven feet tall uh seven feet can we all shut the fuck up about it yeah yeah yeah i'll like come out and say that up top um but yeah it's like it's it it definitely is an issue that you have to run into

because it can really fuck up your whole set especially when the audience is like on board until you say you have a disability and they're like oh we feel bad for you now yeah so we can't laugh at anything i have to say i hate the the like i hate to when an audience member needs to have their reaction be known yeah like. Like in the way of like, there's a way to be like, if you, they genuinely feel bad and that they just get a little quieter, but it's the,

the Oz or like the, like, or if someone doesn't like something, I hate when someone, I've just had a week of like a couple of shows where someone didn't like, I said a certain thing in the show and they're like, Oh, like that kind of like sound.

And you're like, fuck you go fuck you. Go fuck yourself. Oh, you have to make this sound known that you don't approve of me saying this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say the word cunt. I say cunt. You say cunt.

Yeah. Which people sometimes have that reaction. I say cunt a lot too. I'm surprised that it has, I guess I'm surprised that it hasn't been a deal until it was a couple of times. And then you have a second thing. If they don't like cut you, you yell at them more, right? Because what Russell tells me, you know, I, cause I feel like I, I only, I don't enjoy your pain, but because I deal with that all the time, I go places and I'm like, I places and I'm like, yeah, you're not performing for some audiences that aren't going to like you.

And that's good. I think that's good in the long run for a comedian. Yeah. But I think it's funny because you're like, if they don't like it, you do something following that I'm like, oh, well, they're definitely not going to like that second piece. I know. I made the mistake of people had a reaction to me saying cunt and they were like oh and then I was like oh

like fuck it but in your mind you might do this you're right we're full of shit there was no part of my mind that was like this will make him laugh it was mad I wanted them to feel bad you shouldn't be making these noises at this show.

Because if you don't like something, you can just shut the fuck up and leave. Or you can just shut the fuck up. Like either laugh or don't laugh. But I hate when people are like, have to have it known that they don't approve of something. Because you're like, you're at an R-rated show. Publicly offended. Like you're at a thing, you know? How much are they paying for tickets?

Fuck off. I don't. It really is not the majority of thing. It was one at one. I want to make this the Titanic like commercial. Like it's just like if you're not in for shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

I just don't like the thing of like I. Here's the thing. I guess it's so rare in my life to feel offended that i feel like there's some people in their existence they um they just have to make it known when they're when they don't like something and i'm like it's okay that you don't like it that's fair that's fair that you don't like it you don't like that word you don't like to use it i just don't think you should try to make everyone else's experience be that way. And that's what it feels like.

It feels like, oh, I have to let everyone know that I don't like this right now. No, it's tough. It's tough to deal with being a disabled comedian. Yeah. Exactly. Disabled Native American. I can totally relate to what you deal with on a daily basis. No, it's definitely

tough. But, you know, as more people know you. I get that. Yes. Sorry I co-opted your thing to yell about this one woman. Please do. It was just one woman too? No, it was like her and her friend. Happy to sponsor this vendetta that you have going. I'll go beat her up

for you too. All right. Another, this has got to stop. Men doing cocaine at bars than trying to punch me because I'm the biggest guy there. Oh my God. We've already had someone do that one.

How often is that happening? No. Yeah, what happened? They just are like, oh, you make me feel like a bitch right now. And I'm like, that's inside of yourself. I'm just here and I'm not strong. So you win.

I'm a pussy. Please don't hit me. It's usually my response. But they still will be like, come on, man. I'm just here and I'm not strong. So you win. I'm a pussy. Please don't hit me is usually my response. But they still will be like, come on, man. I could kick your ass right now. Let's go box outside. This has happened more than once. Oh, dozens of times. It's happened twice this week.

Wow. This is interesting because I think it's because you're skinny. Yeah. Because I don't have that as a big person. They don't try to fight me. Yeah. And again, I don't want to get it. I would not be good at fighting, but I've never been. Do you really think you'd like, you would really suck?

No, I think if I had to, I mean, I played football. I could really, I could, I'd love to see it. And I have an anger in me, but that is, that is good snap at any moment. If all it takes is one woman to go, go, and you will tackle that fucker. You just go tackle her. Or get the fuck out. Oh, man. No, but it's interesting that you're constantly being,

because you are so tall. Your best bang for your buck for you looking like you beat up a big guy without actually having to put any effort into it, because I am so easily tackled. You beat up this seven-foot- having to put any effort into it. Cause I am so easily seven foot tall dude. Yeah. He fell after one trip. I raised my foot and something happened to his chest.

He died on his own accord, but I was there also, you know, if you want square footage hitting the ground, I'm your guy. All right. You don't have to hit me very hard at all. I just,

I'll fall. That's so interesting. I've somehow managed to avoid actually getting hit by just being like hey i'm a little baby little pussy please don't hit me you're so much cooler you ever say do you ever go i have uh yeah i'm like oh man like please don't hit me i will die and then so that's like a lot of what i'll say at a bar and then they'll be like oh no come on dude i'm like no no i have a heart condition please do not hit me like i will die and then they'll be like that is really sad yeah that's also i'm gonna start using that defense now if someone tries to fight me i have a heart condition sorry sorry you just keep like flicking him sorry heart condition can't hit me um yeah and then last

one was uh this is gonna, lifetime caps on insurance. I'd love to have a surgery again after I turn 26, please. Oh, yeah. So is there anything different between what you can get and what I can get because you have Marfans? So policy-wise, I'm on my dad's insurance right now, and luckily pre-existing conditions are covered to an extent. But the plan that I would be able to get under what currently exists does not cover any of my specialty medical care. So I either go completely destitute and live or I die and have money. What are you hoping to happen? I guess for me personally trying to get uh you know

through like a union or something like a producer's union guild or like some sort of organization i mean yeah i feel like like because because you're tall yeah that there's like a commercial yeah i mean i've had a couple people reach out about trying to do like commercial stuff with me and i've done i've been like i've done a lot of creature acting in the past like in movies totally um but yeah so it'll be like something where i have to join up with a bigger organization in order to like have access to the negotiating power to get health care because i'm like a high risk yeah so they don't want to cover me to the extent that i need to be covered to survive you know like my heart medicine isn't covered sure so it's like all right well it's like you can

you gotta buy into this life baby well that's definitely this has gotta stop let's go on to our final segment you better

count your blessing you better count your blessing recipe of a blessing go first

well I can't share what the news is but some very good news came. Well, I can't share what the news is, but some very good news came in today. And I don't know. Sometimes I felt like I needed a piece of good news.

I don't know if I'm always that way. Very possibly. But it's very exciting. We will announce it on the show, but it also does involve the show. It's just a cool thing. And so I have a lot of people who help out my career.

But Rick Dorfman, my manager, and Matt Bourne, my touring agent. This was a really exciting win. I hope it's exciting. I'm very excited. I'm very excited. I just know it's a lot. I'm excited by it. So I'm just very thankful to my reps because people who represent stand-up comedians, they have to believe in the long haul because even this news, it's not a lot of money in their pocket.

So I appreciate them very much and I am very excited to tell you guys about it. Yeah. I don't know. My blessing is for this week. A cool thing happened yesterday. Doing the show. Get to perform. And you never know who's going to be in the audience.

And I was in the middle of the show. And I was like, that looks like Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones. And it was Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones. And it was Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones watching Titanic, the musical, off-Broadway with his wife, seemingly having a great time. And it just was a cool thing when you're like, some of the people that have come through to see this show, and you're like, that's crazy to me to be like,

Keith Richards watched me do this whole show as this woman, uh, you know, and it's just crazy. It's a, it's a weird thing. It kind of blows your mind. So I felt like,

you know, would you want like your other hero? Like if you found out like LCD sound system was, no, no, no. It's like perfect. This level of stuff where it's like,

I think the perfect level of person is someone that's really impressive to my parents. Yeah. Do you know, being like Keith Richards was at our show tonight. That's like, that's a very cool thing to tell your parents. Yeah. Or you want to add Sullivan? It's cool to think of Keith Richards coming to Titanic.

I mean, he's, he's old. He's, I looked it up. He's like 79. When you said seemed to be enjoying himself, could you not tell by the layers of plastic holding him up? Here's the thing that happened first is that I was like, wow, there's a really cool old man in the audience. You know when you see a cool looking old man?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm like, he seems like he's having a good time. And then I looked a little closer and I was like, that guy looks just like Keith Richards. And then I got off stage and i was like i remember the woman looking next to him and i'm like i'm with google and i looked at and i was like that's the woman next to him i was like it was him and then they did a post on it afterwards uh yeah so i was like oh it really was him so uh but he he looked like he was having fun. He just looked cool. He had like a thing in his headband on, you know, and just kind of like, you know. And yeah.

Who's a dream? Give me one. I mean, you want What's Her Name to Come from White Lotus. Yeah, Jennifer Coolidge would be cool. Jennifer Coolidge. RuPaul already came. Andrew Lloyd Webber already came. Yeah.

I don't know. It's hard. I think older musicians is cool Like Elton John or somebody Yeah Maybe someone from Fleetwood Mac That would be impressive to me What if Will Ferrell came

If you saw Will Ferrell just laughing his ass off We had Taron Killen came Any kind of that person too Obviously would be very cool Very nerve wracking Chris Kattan. Very nerve-wracking. Chris Kattan's in the standby line. Do you have a blessing? I have a blessing.

I mentioned it earlier, but I think I'm very thankful for the community that I'm able to establish by having the circumstances that I do. Almost so much so that it makes me thankful for everything about my life some days. And shout out to everyone with Marfan syndrome out there. All my fellow Marfs. Oh, is that the name? Marfs. Don't say it. All right.

It's our word. Oh, no. Russell. Russell's canceled. All right, guys. You're Native American. You got certain words you can say. That is not one of them.

All right. I'm so sorry. I'd like to apologize to the whole Marfan community. Okay. So this is coming out on April 4th. Do you have anything you'd like to plug, Liam? I like the switchover. I'm going to be, April 4th,

going to be doing a show at the Broadway Comedy Club on April 8th. That's going to be exciting. Actually, West Side Comedy Club, April 8th at 6 o'clock, and then Broadway Comedy Club, April 15th at 6 o'clock as well. Hell yeah. Listen, if you're listening, Liam, you're still new to New York. Yeah, I have to bring people, so please come. Please, please go to that show.

But check him out. And I forget exactly what dates I'll post him, but Liam's going to be opening for me on the road too. This week, though, your friend's opening for me. Ty. Ty is opening for me. I'll be in Alabama April 6th at the Stardome. Don't know how that's going to sell.

Don't know how that's going to sell. You really don't know. I truly have no idea. I'm saying jokingly, but I don't know if people in Birmingham know me, but I doubt it. April 7th and 8th at the Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis. I'm returning there. We've got four shows. Let's sell them out.

Maybe they're sold out already. And then the weekend after that, I will be at Dr. Oh, hold up. Portland. April 11th, I'm doing a one-nighter in Portland. It's a Tuesday, so please come on out. Tell your friends in Portland. And then San Diego, April 12th, doing a fundraiser for Make-A-Wish.

Got to think of some joke for that. And then April 13th through 15th at Dr. Grin's in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm on the road. Check it out. Russell, what do you want to plug? Okay, two things. Well, one thing I forgot in my blessing. I should have also mentioned we had a debbie downsider come to titanic yeah and that was very cool she sent me a nice message and it was just cool so please if you're a debbie

downsider and you're living in new york or you're visiting new york come see titanic and specifically if it's april 4th tuesday april 4th, come see it this night because of my manager agent coming that night and I want it to be a good crowd for that performance specifically. So Tuesday, come out tonight to Titanic the musical. Get some rush tickets. You can usually pick up some the day of the show.

What if when you say cunt, your new agent goes, oh, brother. Dropping him. Dropping him. Very exciting. And again, patreon.com slash downside. We are so close to this merch being ready.

It's pretty much ready. I just got to buy one for myself, test it out. But I think one of the things, if you join the highest level of the Patreon, for $25, just put it on. What are we doing here? Just make sure it looks good. You sound like you're making a flesh. Test it off as a come tell.

You know me, I'm a come tell kind of guy. And just remember, if you're out there, if you're in a loving relationship, might seem nice now, but one day you're going to come home and you're going to find your girlfriend

in a bed with your best friend. And it's, I was doing your, this has got to stop. I was waiting for you to pick it up oh god damn it this is the

what the fuck is this it's the downside one two three I thought it was so smart you gave me a look I was like

what is this you're listening to The Downside The Downside with Gianmarco Cerezi