The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #139 Crushing Your Bar Mitzvah with Modi Rosenfeld

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Modi Rosenfeld shares the downsides of having to follow holocaust survivors with stand-up comedy, playing barking videos to get back at your neighbor, sharing a bar mitzvah, why street jokes sound better in the original Yiddish, and roasting Ben Shapiro.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Modi Rosenfeld on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and YouTube See Modi Rosenfeld in a city near you Visit https://www.modilive.com/ for all the latest Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram See Russell in Titanique in NYC! E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

are you wearing gel no really let me just tell you you know what this is not how i wanted to start too late to go what i've been showered in 36 hours oh my god the water's turned off in my building apartments not my apartment but someone's apartment's flooding and my dog's bleeding out of his fucking asshole having to go outside every two hours and that's where i'm at right now welcome to the downside uh you just heard my co-host complain that his dog is bleeding out his asshole yeah new dog or the old dog new one old one's fine what do you i think just diarrhea but like uh we took him to the vet today but uh he's fine like Like they gave him some stuff to help it. But it's like when you have an open wound that just keeps,

because you're shitting every two hours, your bloody asshole is just getting ripped open. So he keeps pooping and it's hurting, you know? But he's just liquid, just coming out, squirting out. So last night, or no, two nights ago, he, like we woke, like he's usually like every eight or nine hours, you know? It's like three or four times a day we take him out. And he pooped in the crate in the middle of the night,

and it's one of those things you just wake up with that smell, you know? And so then you got to fix it all. But then the poops went from regular soft poops to just squirting blood. So this is my co-host, Russell. Modi. We're here with stand-up comedian Modi. How are you doing, Modi? I'm a little nauseous, to be honest.

Normally, you're the one who's nauseous. I'm frankly surprised you're talking so. I'm over. I've over-exposed. I've, you know, I? I'm a little nauseous, to be honest. Normally, you're the one who's nauseous. I'm frankly surprised you're talking so... I'm over... I've over-exposed. I've, you know, I've just been living with it. Wow. Yeah. Well, thank you for being here.

If we're doing it, what kind of a dog is this? He's a pit bull. A pit bull? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And how big is your apartment? You know, we don't got to get into it.

It's bigger than this. Okay. But not... You don't live here. I'm just saying like... Sure. It's not much bigger than this. I mean... How many days would this have to go on before you put him down? No, no. It was going on a day where like hopefully this will resolve itself

and it didn't resolve itself today. So we took him to the vet. They said he's fine. It's just, you know, it's a thing in the butt. Yeah. Yeah, and they gave him like a probiotic or no, what do you call it? You know, it's this. Probiotic, like they gave him a smoothie? No, no, no, no.

They gave him a little Chobani yogurt? What's the word I'm trying to come up with? You know, like a penicillin. Antibiotic. Antibiotic. Okay, great, great, great. It's a big difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wellibiotic. Okay. Great, great, great. It's a big difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, you missed our episode. We had a live episode with a vet, Dr. Lisa Lipman, and she would have had all sorts of ideas. You don't have pets. No, I don't. I don't have pets. I live in New York City. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's inhumane to have a pet in New York City, let alone two. Shut the fuck up. Okay, all right. Roll an original take. Ooh. Oh. Welcome to the downside.

This is a place where we complain. We get negative. Where we let people talk about the things that bother them. They don't have to be grateful. They don't have to be thankful. They can really let loose. Anything they want. We're not going to judge them.

Thank you for being here. If you're a fan of the show, join the Patreon. Patreon.com slash downside. They, they, anything they want, we're not going to judge them. And thank you for being here. If you're a fan of the show, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. I have a thing at the end. Remind me for the patrons. Okay. It's a new idea I have, but I'm so happy to be here. Listen, people tell all the time they say this show, it's very Jewish.

Can we tone down the Jewishness? Do they say that? And I said, after this guest, you got it. So we brought Modi here. Modi, thank you for being on the downside. So we brought Modi here. Modi, thank you for being on The Downside. My pleasure, my pleasure. Anything bothering you right now?

You're like a positive guy. I'm very positive, very positive. Well, you know, let the other side out. Let it go. What,

The Downside? Oh, yeah. I don't have a, what's negative? I mean. What's negative? I don't, I don't have any any negative you what's the

last time you got mad last he got annoyed at I will tell you I will tell you thank you there's a family that's listening to us I live in I live a few blocks away, but like in a real building. Not in this cage. And we have an apartment that we combined, a big beautiful apartment. Next to us, I share a wall with this family in a three bedroom apartment. And they have a dog, a little toy doodle, a toy poodle? Poodle? Poodle doodle. But a toy. It's this big, the whole thing. It's like a little rat.

And it barks and squeaks. The little ones, they bark all the time. It's the most insane thing. So we've been... And I've been... First we used to knock on the door. Knock on the wall. And then they would scream. They were knocking on the wall. And then they would scream.

They were knocking on the wall. And we'd knock even more. And then one time I even took a speaker and put like a crazy loud barking dog and put it against their wall. Oh, my God. Wow. But now we're going through the building and all kinds of stuff. Wait, hold up. So you pulled up YouTube video of dog barks?

Yep, exactly. And I'm a big Sonos speaker and put it against their wall. Now, they're home when the dog is barking and they're not interviewing. When they're home. So from what we've detected, detective work, whatever you want to say, it's not detected. They have a son who has a girlfriend and I think it's her dog. And sometimes they leave it there. And sometimes they,

and there's a dog that needs to be on someone's like a rich woman on fifth Avenue in her lap the whole day. There's not a Chanel bag. Right. You can't leave this dog alone. It's going crazy. And when they do leave it alone, the barking and the screeching is insane.

And then when they're in the house and they're not giving it full attention it's going crazy so it's just uh but i have like at moments where i want to get the speaker and make the noise i've been holding back i've been yeah how you you're holding it right up to the wall i mean you just put in it there you're leaving the house no no no we put it against the wall they go you can we can hear them in there going crazy because of it what do they say do they know it's fake they obviously know it's fake um we call the security we do we do all we have to do to get set to contact a lawyer for the whole situation have you talked to them in person we have it doesn't work uh. What's your tactic? Are you charming, Modi?

No, this is not okay. This is not okay. If it is an emotional support, you're making my emotions insane. You're making me crazy. And you don't have the right to downgrade somebody's quality of life this way. You can't decide, I'm now going to bring noise into these people's lives that I live next to. Yes.

This isn't the Hamptons. You can't just get a dog and it's barking and you're not alone. Well, and it's different if it was like there's an effort on their part to stop it and to curb the behavior. They don't want to hear it either, but they can't deal with it. But just letting it go on.

Yeah, they can't. And we've got the dogs on the floor. We love Chester. I love him. Every time I see him, I hug him and have a great day. But this is absolutely insanity. I have a neighbor that doesn't know that their dog doesn't bark when they're home. And will bark if it hears our dogs in the hall getting off the elevator,

and then it'll bark for like 10 minutes or so. And they don't know. So we had that downstairs for a minute. Underneath us, and we left some signs, your dog is losing it when you're not home. Absolutely losing it when you're not home. It's tortured to the animal. What's good about my building, though, when you're not home. Absolutely losing it when you're not home. It's torture to the animal. It's da-da-da-da-da.

What's good about my building, though, is that when we're in our apartment, something with the sound, you can't hear it as much. It's in the hall. It sounds like it's so loud. Yeah. But then when you close our door,

it's not that noticeable and we don't share a wall with anyone. Do you ever wonder now that maybe they just have a Sonos speaker and they're just trying to fuck with you to get back? No, I can tell because they leave it on a nice...

For your bloody dog's asshole leaving a trail in the hallway. No, it didn't leave an asshole. Or in the hallway. But they leave it on the balcony sometimes on nice days. And that's when you can, if our windows are open, it stares into our window and barks at us.

It just seems like tough to have a dog in New York City. Yeah. It really isn't. But it would be tough for you. A lot of things are tough. Hold on, hold on. You know, on my podcast, we had Eric Botcher, the city council, assemblyman, whatever, for a certain part of the city.

Yeah. Chelsea, Flatiron, whatever. He's the city for that area. And he said one of the biggest problems in New York City right now is the dog shit. Do you pick up your dog shit? Yeah, of course. Of course.

I don't know if a city council member should be saying that that's one of the biggest problems. No, no, no. Absolutely. There was a man who was just choked to death on the subway. I'm just saying this guy has his eyes in the wrong places right now. No, it's no. He absolutely that the rats. There was a man who was just choked to death on the subway. I understand this guy has his eyes in the wrong places right now. No, it's a quality of life again.

Sure. You know what? But the worst problem in New York City. It's a problem. I agree. It's a problem. I just wouldn't put it in the top five things that we're dealing with in the city. I got here early to your and I just said, you know, I'm going to do a walk around the block and I went down to the know, I'm going to do a walk around the block.

And I went down to the one after this, which was a Suffolk, Norfolk, whatever the one where the basketball stuff is. Yeah. And I made that left and the entire sidewalk is dog doo. I mean, yeah. Maybe we're wrong. Number one problem. It's a big, big problem. I didn't say number one. Everything mean, yeah. Maybe we're wrong. It's a big, big problem. I didn't say number one.

He said the rats were above the dog poo, but the dog poo is a situation. What's going on with the rats? I don't know. What do you mean what's going on with the rats? The city is filled with them. I'll be honest, I don't see them that often. I see them. He's way up. I think if I see 10 rats a week, that's not very much. Oh, I see 10 rats a week, that's not very much.

Oh, I see 10 rats on the walk home from the cellar. They scurry in front of me. Have you ever had a rat hit your leg? No. Once, once, once. It was awful. It's like a big flesh hitting your leg. In flip-flops once.

No, flip-flops. What are you wearing flip-flops for? Listen, man. What are you wearing flip-flops for in New York City? Because I had to take my goddamn dog out late at night and I just want to do it quickly. That's why. In flip flops? I didn't know.

What if you step on a needle? What if you step on a needle? A needle? No, I don't. It's not that crazy. I live in a pretty resident. It's like way uptown. Way uptown.

Oh, okay. It's not like that. There's no crackheads uptown. No, there is. Right. So there's no cry kids uptown. No, there is. There's no needles on the floor. Ew. This is the downside. You're listening to

The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. We're here. Russell's spicy today. I'm spicy. You spent a lot of today Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. We're here. Russell's spicy today. I'm spicy. I know. I know it's been. You spent a lot of today picketing against the Writers Guild. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Telling them to get back to work. I was a guy. To keep your shows going. What's going on? I'm not following. What's going on? There's a strike. I know.

I know. John Mulaney posted his whole. Did you see what he posted? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, basically. I love that he. John Mulaney goes, whole, did you see what he posted? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, basically. I love that John Mulaney goes, I'm first and foremost a writer. Yeah.

You're first and foremost a millionaire. You're just here making crazy money. You're a cocaine problem. They must have paid him how much for that special? Okay, so Eddie Murphy got 70 million. I mean, and he hasn't even released His yet Wow

Oh he has a new one I would say 22 million Apparently I don't think he's ever Going to do it 22? Probably 22 I don't

Yeah I probably At least I wonder what Chris Rock got I'm looking at myself In your camera I look like a hostage Is this Is this

This lighting And this and the white pants? What's my background? We'll fix it. We'll zoom in. Yeah, do me a favor. I look like literally... I'll say these lights are too great. I am being fed and medical attention.

Tell them to join the Patreon. It will kill you. Well, Modi, I have so much I want to talk to you about. I do want to complain about something on my own Honestly, it's for advice About my father Okay So he has not flown

Since Him and my mother divorced When? How? He's never flown, doesn't fly Where does he go? When I was at University of Miami in Florida He would drive down there. From where?

From Maryland. Wow. Drove, drove back. So you're talking about 20 years? And again, I told you earlier before the podcast, I can't drive. So we got back from college when he drove me home. He, bad circulation or something,

he took his foot, he showed me his foot. I mean, it looked like, it looked like he could die. It was huge. It was misshapen. It looked like, I was like, let's take it off. It was horrible. And then he was like mad at me because I never learned how to drive.

But really, that was his fault for coddling me as a boy. But he, so I talked to him. Because I, my father and I, we have trouble connecting. And part of me is like, you know, you got to learn how to fly. Come do a gig with me. You know, he wants to visit. I'm never here any weekend. I say, you know what? You fly. Let's fly. Let's do something together. Be a part of my life. And basically his whole backstory is this. He flew normal flying. He said he dated a woman in college who was in almost in a mid-air collision.

The plane dipped. And so this woman he dated, he said a nice Jewish lady, she like was in a hospital after and started breaking out and had anxiety and it was awful. So that planted the seed

of stress of flying in him. When my dad was 21, I think 21, he had a friend who he grew up with. They were in like a gang together in Chicago who died in a motorcycle accident. And my dad apparently was about to get on the plane to go to his funeral. He's 21, 22.

And suddenly he had this fear of the plane crashing. And he was so scared he didn't get on the plane. And he didn't go to his friend's funeral. But the plane didn't crash, did it? The funeral, it was September 11th, 2000. No, it didn't crash. It didn't crash. Okay.

But it was like a big, I think it was a big, I imagine a lot of shame not going to the funeral. He said apparently the guy behind him in line, he was about to get on the plane. And the guy behind him in line said, are you okay? you look like you just lost your best friend and my dad always quotes this he was like oh my god he could see all of this so so then i said to my dad i said okay but you flew after that you flew with my mom

he went to europe they went to italy for honeymoon they did all these flights and and he said yeah i don't know but after the divorce with my mother who who he doesn't speak to, who he doesn't have a kind word to say about in this world, that's what changed it. And he has not flown since. And so I talk to him. I say, let's do it. Let's get your mom back. Let's do it. Let's get my mom back.

I'll do it. Fuck it. But I said to him, you have a drink. And he's like no no no he read an article somewhere drinking increases

he knows just enough therapy to not ever do anything it's the worst amount of therapy to know and

part of me is like the only way this man's gonna fly and this is my mentality is for me to force him to say we're buying tickets, we're going to go to the airport.

I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if he'll freeze and he won't get out of the chair. I don't know if he won't get out of the car. I'm sure he doesn't want me to see him like that. I don't want to see him like that. But I feel like I'm the only one who can be like...

How old is he? He's 69. Why is it important for you to make him fly? Yeah, like what's your goal here? Because I think... Leave him alone. Because I think... You don't speak about him like you want to fly with him.

Leave him alone. Yeah, what are you... Because this is a man who's depressed. Are you worried that you are... Who's self-isolating. Who we don't have as much of a relationship with. I don't have as much relationship with him. My sister is basically living in Florida.

He's driving. He's making himself miserable. I want him to be able to be free. He can finally go visit all those Russian women he's talking to online every night. He can't drive there. And I just feel like... Is he working out his act on us?

No, not yet. I'll throw this mic right at you if you start doing your act. My daddy's got a new girlfriend. This is the heaviest microphone I've ever held in my life. It's a regular microphone, Mody. It's literally like four pounds heavier.

Is it not? I have to say... Russell is used to this pose. It's literally like four pounds heavier. Is it not? I have to say. Russell is used to this pose. He's in this pose every night. No, I have one of those. Those of you who are watching, please send somebody to Patreon so we can get the stand

so I don't have to hold this mic. I had the stand, so we didn't know anyone used them. You're a stand-up comedian. You do this every night. Yeah, it's not night. I'm not working. This mic is literally four pounds heavier

than any other mic I've ever held in my life. Yeah, and I'm not going to do the whole... Who's that? Who does that? If I could get the name, how funny that would have been. The guy that's on the wheelchair. Oh, you're going to do a Stephen Hawking joke?

Stephen Hawking joke. He hasn't been dead for 10 years. Let him sleep. Yeah, but I didn't have that in me I can't get my brain didn't bring that name up

fast enough your struggle right now is equal to that of Stephen Hawking are we done with your father's story we're going back to it should I

so here's the question here's the question we got a very stubborn man okay very stubborn man a lot of pain all these things do you think it's wise

for me to go, Father, we're going to go somewhere. We're going to go to Italy. You want to go back to you say we're Italian? Let's go to Italy and fucking bring him

to the airport, buy the ticket, put that pressure on him because I think that's the only thing to do. Bring him to the airport, buy the ticket. It's not how it works.

It's buy the ticket, bring him to the... In the old days, you went to the airport and you bought the ticket at the counter. That would be nice. Can you imagine? Hey, we got tickets too the old days, you went to the airport and you bought the ticket at the counter. That would be nice. Can you imagine? Hey, where you got tickets to today?

If you went up to the airport and you go, I want to buy a ticket for this flight, they'll shoot you right there on the TSA. They will come. Back in the day, you could go to the airport and buy your ticket at the... Now you can't even get through. There's no way to buy your ticket. Oh, you can.

Yeah, you're right. The check-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don get through. There's no way to buy your ticket. No, you need that. Oh, you can. You can. Oh, at the kiosk. Yeah, you're right. The check-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But I don't know. It's just something I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about it for a little bit now. But he finally gave me the full backstory.

But he's one of these guys. He'll tell you the backstory every time. He's told me the story. You know, God bless his friend who passed away. It was a big event for him. But somehow, every time I ask him a question, it goes back to this story. I want to tell you, just because this please make this end um i uh i i also don't talk a lot my father's not a talkative guy yeah and i've been recently thinking about one

conversation we had that was so amazing my father had like two years ago he had this um a cardio situation that we got intervened and it was just a miracle, but I'd spent like 16 hours with him in the emergency room and then in the... And we never really spoke, but all of a sudden he started telling me stories about him when he came to America. We came to America, I was seven years old. I can't remember he was like 40 or something and um yeah he was like 40 something and uh we moved in he never told me the

stories when how he began working on that and so he started telling me so then he told me he my dad was in three wars in israel uh the yom kippur war 73 67 and 56 i think with the three wars he was in and he was telling me this story. I remember he started telling me a war story. I'd never heard anything about his, anything in the army. He goes, we were in the desert, and the Six-Day War in Israel, that's when Syria attacked Israel. In six days, the war was won.

He described that he was in these tanks that was half tank, half truck. So there's wheels in the front and the tracks in the back. It was the newest thing and whatever it was. And it was three of them. He was like a sergeant. There was a captain. There was whatever. And the other people that were on it.

And he goes, we were driving and we see the Syrians or Jordanians, whatever it was, coming at us and like i was like like i was ready to hear something he blew them out or he goes i saw the guy he saw me so i said what did you do i turned left he turned left we both went our different ways and that was it this is the best story ever he's like he's like, he had two daughters at home. I wasn't born yet. He had two daughters at home, a wife, a business. He needs to start firing at this guy and have him fire back at him.

You understand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he said, this guy also is probably reserved. That probably happens a lot in war. It wasn't like an 18-year-old. Yeah! It was like, you know, reservists. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reservists. Like, I need to get back home. I can't be firing at him and him firing at me. They both went left. Yeah. And he said, and I'm here today because we didn't want to start shooting at each other. Yeah. So funny.

I was like, how did I not tape this? That's how every war should end. Everyone goes, what are we going to do? Why are we doing this? What are we doing? Why are we doing this? Yeah. And so funny.

But I'm sorry you have this whole thing with your father. I mean, my dad's 86. And now his hearing is like shot. Yeah. And he doesn't want to like, he doesn't like get into it and get the right hearing aid. And you have the ones that there's apps with your phones. There's so many amazing things that he doesn't they don't want my dad has the same thing you want to hear anybody does he does he my dad says to me he's like you're not enunciating well enough and i go father please

no one complains about your dad father one more time like we're on what are you like we're on uh no we're on uh what's it called um uh uh god laura Ingalls on Little House from the Prairie. Father? Father? Father? Do you call him father? Do you call him father? No, I say dad.

Daddy. Dad. It's just dad. Dad. What do you call your dad? Dad. Dad. Dad.

Yeah, but I call him Abba. It's Hebrew, but I'm going to say father. Abba? Abba, yeah. I'm going to say Abba with my dad. Just to mix it up. See what he thinks. For sure, he'll never fly with you now. If you stop calling say Abba with my dad, just to mix it up. See what he thinks. For sure, he'll never fly with you now.

If you stop calling him Abba, he's never going to fly with you. My kid became more Jewish now. He's going to call me by his Hebrew name, Chaim Yonkel, whatever his Hebrew name is. I need a Hebrew name. Do I automatically have one?

Who would know what my Hebrew name is? At your bris, you were given a Hebrew name. Oh, I don't know. I mean, I had a bris, so I must have had a Hebrew name. I'll text my mom right now. See if she knows what my Hebrew name is. Yeah. I'm getting closer to it.

What's your Hebrew name? Mordechai. Mordechai. Mordechai. Mordechai, yeah. Now, you were circumcised. Yeah, but I didn't have a bris. You Jewish?

No, I'm not. So then you don't need a bris. Yeah, I know. why do they do that i if someone told me recently like why are you circumcised just because everyone does it in yeah it's a regular thing in america yeah yeah you really have to request not to be not to have your kids circumcised when they when they um when it's born whatever did you have you the like is there it's a ceremony though

and you you did all of that how does he what are you asking him he was eight days old no I know but like I'm saying

like did mom do you know what my Hebrew name is do you know what my Hebrew name is and did I have a bris or was it just at the hospital

I feel like it was just at the hospital I don't think you had a bris this episode is brought to you by A Real Pain from Searchlight Pictures comes one of the I feel like it was just at the hospital. I don't think you had a bris. about two mismatched cousins as they tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Were you close with your dad?

I am. He's still alive. It's his birthday today. I just called him. Oh my God. Yeah, he's 87 years old. But you were close as a kid? Because you're an artsy guy. I'm not an artsy guy. He was a soldier.

He was in three wars. Everybody in Israel was a soldier. You would have been a soldier if you were in Israel. I don't think so. You would have been. You would have been. Yeah. You'd be for sure making the left turn.

I'm not fighting this guy. Yeah, left turn. I'd be turning the other way around. I'd be going in reverse. But you left Israel when you were seven? Seven, yeah. Why did they leave? Six, seven, yeah.

They left opportunity, America, golden land, and all of their siblings were already here. My parents, we were the last ones. All my parents' siblings moved to America right after the army. My father stayed in israel had a business and then to bring us closer to the cousins and all that we moved here how does at the time was israel like please stay and make this place great i don't remember i just first of all you talk about 1976 or 77 i am more focused on how do you move a family of three

from Israel to New York with no internet? There were no Google drives. What neighborhood should we, what are the prices of the apartments? What was the, none of that. I am so blown away how they did it.

Well, that's why those communities, I think, had to stick together because it'd be like, well, where do we go? Well, all the other Jews, they went to this place. So I guess we go there. Someone will help you out. Because you couldn't look up like, oh, let's go some other. So where did they move? Here? We moved to New York.

Yeah. Which part of New York? We moved our first year to Queens. And then when my parents decided okay we're staying in america they bought a house in in long island i was thinking maybe your place was at the tenement museum we could no no no we see your bedroom do you know that i never visited the lower east side until i bought my apartment there no i'd never gone below uh well definitely went below Houston but like never below Delancey so

it was just funny that now I live here since 2004 have you been to the Tenement Museum yet? I walk by I feel so horrible for people doing it

could you imagine sitting there on a tour hi this is where I'm going we're called when they first moved to this city in 1912

and to see a whole bunch of people that are so upset that they set themselves up for this. Like at the time, hey, this is a great thing. Let's do this walking tour of the museum. And then you just see some woman who's super excited with her little vegan handbag just yelling at them.

And then during the time when FDR allowed immigrants and the Chinese and they all lived together. I just walked by to go to the gym and I'm like, ugh, the worst, the worst. I mean, I guess it makes sense. Hey, you want to pay money to see one of the worst apartments? In Manhattan.

Just bring him here. You should open your own tenement museum. Here's how the Jews live today. Yeah, here's how the Jews live today. It's not much better. So you're not a fan, not a fan of the old exploring, Here's how the Jews live today. Yeah, here's how the Jews live today. Not much better. So you're not a fan, not a fan of the old exploring, old Jewish. My girlfriend had a great time.

She was like, oh, the Jews, they came here. Yeah. The struggle. Nah, I don't need any of that. Do you like museums in general? I feel like people like museums. I'm not a museum person. I'm not. I'm not.

You're going around the middle. Picasso. All colors. I did one time google it where were we uh chicago chicago it was one of the coldest days ever in the world and it was colder because it was in chicago i had a gig and leo and i were there for two for two uh two two days because they paid extra to have me come a day earlier so we had all of saturday to kill i mean or sunday whatever it was um and we went to this big museum thing that he was and i went in and they had this like lounge area with these special chairs and i fell asleep

for an hour he went and saw the whole museum yeah because i i i can't yeah i one time went to momo with someone and uh they were really into it and they were like describing things to me and i can't like the first 20 minutes i felt like i was i was working so hard at acting that i was like interested in it and then at some point i was just like i gotta go like i'm gonna go kind of like explore myself and it was just me hiding from them, finding places to sit. Because I was like, it just doesn't do anything for me, really. But Leo, my husband, knows what to bring me to. We went to the Andy Warhol thing, which was amazing.

It's Andy Warhol. And they did it very well. And these other photographers that he knows, I would enjoy the storyline of what's happening. But to just out of nowhere go, I'm not a museum fan. No, no,

no, no. Yeah. I, for a while, like museums. No, I was doing it for a while when I would go on tour.

I'd be like, Oh, what's the thing to do? Go to the art museum. And then after I saw like five in different cities, I'm like, they're all there. They're all the fucking same.

Yeah. I like a modern, I like a modern museum. I do not want to see old pictures of Jesus. I cannot believe the amount of painters who were like, let's do one more of Jesus. Let's get him a little more bent over. Let's get him a little skinnier. It's awful.

He looks great usually in those pictures. There was a time. At some point. But there was a time when they really showed him looking shitty. And then they needed the abs. Yeah, yeah. It gets a little too sexy. It gets a little too sexy. Yeah.

It gets a little too sexy, Jesus. So were you raised in a super Jewish community here? Were you integrated? It was all Jewish. It was 99. But it wasn't religious Orthodox Jews. It was like all kinds of Jews. But my parents basically gravitated to just Israelis.

They hung out with Israelis only. Like when you went to school was it all at first i was in a jewish school then i went the school i went to afterwards was 99 jewish uh-huh so and it was public school was a very good school so we didn't need the other one how did the jews here did they view the jews from israel differently were they divided in that sense did they go oh my god your parentss from israel differently were they divided in that sense did they go oh my god your parents are from israel they were i mean american jews versus israeli jews no it's it's um it was there were other israelis that the families that were in the neighborhood we're in the five towns it's in long island it's like literally now it's a super jewish neighborhood but it's back then it was just all just plain jew. What was it like with bar mitzvahs?

Because I grew up in Potomac, Maryland, so bar mitzvahs, they were all big parties, big lavish affairs. It was two years of nonstop, every weekend, Saturday and Sunday, a bar mitzvah we went to. I had like three suits, and I would interchange the pants and suits

and the ties to go to all of them. It was so much fun. Did you enjoy your bar mitzvah? Did you, were you on the bar mitzvah circuit? No, we had none. I grew up upstate New York.

There was, uh, near Binghamton. Oh wow. Okay. Like truly not a lot of Jews. Uh, my cousin was Jewish,

but cousins. Yeah. Cause they had a Jewish mom. So you never, at that age, you never even went to one? No, never. We had no,

like truly not no Jewish kids in my school. I mean, it was fun. It was so much fun. I mean, we had some rich kids. Yeah. I mean, the one guy, he was so rich, they had,

first it was only boys were invited. Like some of the bar mitzvahs, it was co-ed. Oh. And some, it was just the boys. And it was usually like the lamer, the lamer kids only boys were invited. Like some of the bar mitzvahs, it was co-ed. And some, it was just the boys. And it was usually like the lamer kids only had the boys. But you went to public school. No, it was a private school.

But not a Jewish private school. No, no, no. Just a regular school. Okay. But there's just a lot of Jews who live in Potomac. So I did go to like, I must have gone to 20. And he had like a make your own music video with the green screen station.

We had the sushi. And you're too young. I mean, at least where we were, no one was sneaking in any alcohol. We were too young and private schooly. I wish we had, that would have been a lot more fun. But it was fun. Bar mitzvahs were fun

because you got to see your parents, your friends' parents drunk. You got to see like the dad of the Bar mitzvahs were fun because you got to see your parents, your friends' parents drunk. You got to see like the dad of the bar mitzvah boy really just start celebrating for real. And you liked that. It was just fun to watch like, oh my God, Jed's dad is being real silly. Yeah.

Were they big parties? I mean, when there's so many Jews, are they all huge? It's a very rich neighborhood and they spent crazy amounts of money on these and the themes and- What were the themes? Mine was New York City.

I had everything New York City. It was like Broadway and every buildings and all these amazing- Like Broadway, like did you have like a sign, like cats or a phantom? No, no, no, it was one Broadway thing. It wasn't like a big, it wasn't a Broadway theme.

It was New York City. So there was like the bridge and the skyscrapers and all that kind of stuff. But they were so over the top. And I remember the best ones were when you left, they handed you a bag of bagels, cream cheese, and then fat New York Times. And you went with that.

And it was so much fun. That's what they did. Yours are all barbecued? All of them. Most of them. New York Times. That's like a parting gift. Well, his theme was New York.

Saturday night. No, he said all of them. Oh. He said that was like a parting gift. Oh, weird. A big thing of bagels. Wow. I went to a wedding in upstate once.

And it was very strange because it was new york themed the wedding yeah and it that seems like a kid and like the cake was shaped like the state like the state oh new york state yeah well that's what was strange about it and then end of the night they played new york new york and i was like it's not really about upstate you know what i mean that song is about specifically about new york city and i don't like but they loved new york the state and it was like the weirdest wedding theme to like and have a cake that's shaped like like the state of me that's a that's a big thing to love like start spreading the news and you're like you're like like, yeah, but this isn't about upstate. It's about specifically

the city. It was very weird. Very weird. Like I'm going to Buffalo tomorrow. Some party planner was not really in the same headspace

as the people doing this. Do you remember, so were you a performer at this point? No. Because I feel like the bar mitzvah is the point

where you get on stage one of the first times. I killed my bar mitzvah. I destroyed my bar mitzvah. What do where you get on stage one of the first times. I killed my bar mitzvah. I destroyed my bar mitzvah. What do you have to do? You sing the Haftorah. Okay. And then you do the prayers, and I killed it.

What do you mean you killed it? How much time are you talking? How much time is this performance? Some of them are long. Some of them are short. It depends. I blew the light. I blew the light. I blew the light on my bar mitzvah.

Absolutely. Were you cracking jokes? Were you doing voices? No, no, no, no. The singing part. The singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the synagogue, the temple.

And I felt really bad because I shared a bar mitzvah. So your bar mitzvah on the week you're born, the Torah is split up into like portions of the week, right? And so the portion that you're born, I'm explaining to him, the portion that you're born on, the portion of the Torah is where you read, right? So me, there was another kid that was in the same portion

for that week. So we split it and he sucked and he didn't have it. And he didn't like, Your listeners are going to never pay you on Patreon because it's too Jewish now for sure. They're going to take their money back and send you hate mail. And then the rabbi comes up to the other one and goes like, you're not a man today. I think only Modi gets this one. Do you remember

the feeling in the moment where you like in that moment where you're like oh wow I fucking nailed that did he look sad

he was like he just wanted to get it over with he just wanted to get I was ready I was in I cared about it I love Jewish singing

I love Jewish music and I love the services even before my bar mitzvah I used to go to synagogue every Saturday you know so I loved it and it was like my turn yeah I'm gonna kill it

yeah it was amazing I went to a friend's wedding and they wanted me to like do like 30 minutes they wanted me to make like a show after the speeches no

I hope you said no no of course I said no I'm happy to do it I'm like you I just wanted to kill I wanted to be the star of the wedding I'm talking about the service not comedy yeah kill. I wanted to be the star of the wedding. He got them to pay for him to go there. I'm talking about the service, not comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, I know. But during the speeches, he had his friend who was like the funny friend. And who had a speech that like people were laughing. Yeah, yeah. And if I had not been there, he would have been the bell of the ball. Yeah, yeah. But then I went up there and I destroyed it yeah he didn't have the juice no he hasn't been doing this for years professionally he works on wall street and has

a real job yeah and uh it's a good feeling so so you're saying it's a competitive feeling you're having it's not i wasn't looking for that with this kid my thing i didn't care that he i was better than him i was just so happy I killed it on my own. You're the most altruistic performer in the world. You do it for other people, not for yourself.

There's a lot about you that that was what your takeaway from that wedding was. Jesus. That's why your dad doesn't want to fly with you. We're cut from the same cloth.

That's why his dad doesn't want to fly with him. I performed at the cell and Modi went after me and he said I hope you enjoyed the last comedian's audition for the chorus line and this one

tweets it the next day without any references to where he got it from well okay interesting interesting now I know why your dad doesn't want to fly with you it's not just me it's not just my dad

he's flying all the time he's got crazy miles come on dad six hours stuck on the flight with him telling him how amazing I am I am so funny he's like please so

you you didn't do theater. Take your little notepad out. You didn't do theater. That you took from some comedy club, the waitresses. These are just positive affirmations. Were you doing theater? I mean, you essentially, in Temple, you're singing.

That's your performance. Yeah, that was definitely a point. That's your performance. Yeah, that was definitely a point. My theater was, I, in high school, senior year, they were doing a production of Fiddler on the Roof. I'd never been to the theater club, to the theater thing, they had chorale, whatever the hell that meant.

I thought it was horses. I thought we had horses. I never saw horses in the school. Chorale, show chorale, they were called. Oh, chor horses. I never saw horses in the school. Corral. Show Corral, they were called. Oh, Corral. I had no idea any of this. And the woman that came to be the director for the drama league or whatever it was, knew there was this Israeli kid in the school. And she asked if I wanted to audition for Fiddler on the Roof.

And I knew the script by heart. I watched the movie 17 times. And then I went and I nailed it. I got the Fiddler. And watched the movie 17 times. And then I went and I nailed it. I got the fiddler and all the kids were upset. Wait, you got the fiddler? I got Tevye. Tevye. He's like, I nailed it. They said, you're the fiddler.

You close. The audience comes into the room. Keep in mind, it's all the kids who've been since their freshman year in whatever the hell Brig are doing or whatever dumb show that they you were you senior senior year okay yeah i never put in anything for the other shows i never nothing i come in i i they knew right away when i looked on dear god you know i killed killed it i got the role they all hated me which I didn't care and then that was it

we did three shows I was unbelievable I don't toot my horn I'm not one of those comedians I kill

I slayed I never do that but this was in another level you just said you slayed your bar mitzvah I hear you but again

not acting singing it's more it's a spiritual slay did you have a film recording of you as Tevye? So this is, you're talking about 1987 or 88. No one had.

So the one kid whose father recorded it, I'm talking about he had a camera, like today it's like a 4K, like a camera, a massive camera. And he kept it only on his son, who was like an extra. So I'm up there doing, if I were a rich man. And you see the kid like this. It's all you see is his dumb son.

And so there's no real recording of it. Then nothing. That was it. Went to college. Done. And then I came back from college. I worked in investment banking. And I would imitate the secretaries.

And my friends would. I worked in the international division of Merrill Lynch. So it was all these foreign accents. I would come home and tell my friends to just do the imitations and they'd be like you have to do this on stage you gotta be kidding me

do it in a comedy club I'm not a comedian I'm not going to a comedy club I've never been to a comedy club my first time what kind of accents what are we talking here like show me some of these

Spanish I'm not going to do my act for you Spanish there was a gay secretary there was a all these different Spanish gay the whole thing if you find those tapes now completely undoable Spanish, there was a gay secretary, there was all these different... Spanish, gay, the whole thing.

If you find those tapes now, completely undoable. You could not do any of that material on stage today. Yeah. It was so out there, over the top. Not racist, but you just can't do that today. Sure. Yeah. So that's how that began.

My friends organized my first comedy night at Stand Up New York back in 93-ish or so. And then I began doing this. And then I caught the bug there. I caught the bug there and then started doing shows. Were you doing the voices then? Were you like, hey guys, here's the secretary. Is that the thing?

What was your actor? Was it like, were you talking about your family? No, there's nothing Jewish yet. It was all over the top characters. Kind of like his act. It's just over the top characters. The Spanish lady. The gay guy.

Wait, can you talk to me about what the gay guy was? It was this. Hello. Everything he began with was hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. This was everything he began with was hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello. This is back then. This is before now. This is before everybody's seen RuPaul.

This is before. And the secretary was, the secretary, she began everything with Mira and ended with Maricon. Conio, Conio, with Conio. Mira, da, da, da, da, Conio. It was so out there. And I had been doing it, so out there and i had been doing it i didn't realize

i've been doing it for my friends so long that i had a bit these were bits yeah yeah yeah and so i just did them on stage everybody else on that night bombed bombed so i went up there full confidence i am the only guy on stage not wanting to be a stand-up. I was just having a night with my friends. I had no idea where this was going. I can see me being the comment in the back, like working out my jokes. And he goes up, he's like, hello, and just murdering. And I'm like, what the fuck? Hello, hello.

I did it. I just come in. I'm in a suit. I'm coming from work. I'm in a suit. They all look like him. Like, look at this. They all look like him. Like, look at this. They all look like that.

Like they came out of the hamper. And, and I, and I walk up there handsome, the hair, the bar and, and just slayed, just killed it.

And, and then Kerry Hoffman who owned stand up New York said to me, you should definitely keep at this. And not just because he wanted yet back then you get to bring three people to the show. New York said to me, you should definitely keep at this. And not just because he wanted... Back then, you had to bring three people to the show. And then you got five minutes of material. So, yeah. Three's not bad.

No, that's not bad. I have no idea. I can't imagine what today's world of... Oh, it's a nightmare. I can't even imagine. I don't want to even think about it. When you were doing the... What was the company you were working for? Merrill Lynch. Merrill Lynch, yeah. When you were doing the, what was the company you were working for?

Merrill Lynch. Merrill Lynch, yeah. Were you, at that time, were you talking about, I mean, you talk about being Jewish, being Jewish is such a big part of your identity. Were you that open about it?

Were you discussing it? It wasn't, for my first few years of comedy, it wasn't my thing. No, but not comedy. Merrill Lynch. I mean, like, were you able to be expressive?

Did you have a lot of Jewish people working there with you? You're part of a big Jewish community now. Like, was it like that when you were in Merrill Lynch?

I was in a corporate environment. What are you saying? What do you think? I'm saying, how did you act in a corporate environment? I'm a banking Jew. You're a loud,

expressive guy. I'm saying, like, when you were working at Merrill Lynch, were you very buttoned up? Yeah. Or were you always like,

back then, you had to wear a suit and tie and the whole thing you couldn't show up with your lululemon stretchies back then it was like you're talking about 94 to 90 93 to 99 is when i worked in that environment and it was it was just suits were you good at your job um i was very good at what i did yes uh-huh i was we were in a team and it was like i was good at my my my stuff yeah was it tough to turn your back on the money for i know you you were working as a stand-up you you kind of started stand-up with gigs in the canon i i know so i started stand-up i was very lucky and that i believe me god made it because otherwise he knows i wouldn't have if i was scratching and and for spots i wouldn't have done it sure because i did it wasn't like i woke up and i want to be a stand-up comic it was just

my friend said you should be a stand-up comic um so at first i was doing uh i i did a few open mics then the comic strip before your day lu Lucian was the guy that was the. Yeah, I've heard of him. Yeah, so he loved me and wanted to manage me. So he was giving me spots nonstop. And I was so over the top, I was closing the shows on the weekends. And back then, that room was, it's a room you can't bomb unless you suck. Yeah.

It was such a great room that, just for laughs, stopped doing auditions there. Because it said, that's not a good gauge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So keep in mind, here I am just starting comedy. And I'm getting closing weekend spots at the strip. Full house. Packed. Did any comics resent you?

Probably. Yeah. Probably. Yeah? Probably. And then SD, I got in the door with SD. And April 24 is when I got past at the Comedy Cellar. And that's when I clock in as I'm a comic. Yeah. 1994, April, at the Comedy Cellar, I was passed.

And then since then, I've been doing comedy but I was doing it full time with Merrill Lynch until 99 and when did you really start leaning into talking about being Jewish and I watched a bit here, you were talking about the difference

between Ashkenazi Jews and Sephardic Jews and I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you a thing about, I mean, it is like a niche market. When did it, was it a real conscious decision? Did you just keep having joke ideas that leaned into that? How did it come to be? Because I imagine when you go to the cellar,

you're not always doing the difference between Ashkenazi. No, I don't do that there. You can't do that there. Of course. No, the title of my special is Know Your Audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's my, you know, look at your room. You figure out what you can do and can't do.

Yeah. You know, but you show, that clip was from a show about, that was all in Jews, it was my show. I took, I don't know what theater that was. I took the theater, I sold out and it was my show. I took, I don't know what theater that was. I took the theater. I sold out. And it was my people.

Yeah. And they loved that stuff. At the comedy, so I don't do that stuff. It's still a Jewish voice. But the Jewish voice began right away. Somebody saw me and I worked clean. For some reason, I worked very clean. I never said F and S on stage.

So somebody brought me to a synagogue show. Hi, my synagogue is doing a comedy night. And then from that, I got hired to other events and other events. And work begets work. Yeah. And I always wore a suit, which I always tell all my opening acts, just get a suit. Just get a suit.

Just Eric Newman, just get a suit. I gave Eric like three suits eric newman but i i will i i sometimes i see comedians they get their late night debut or something and they put on the suit and you can tell they haven't put on a suit in fucking 10 years and they look like a fool i i the suit's not, for some people, the suit's not right. Okay, so for the late night, they don't need it. Late night, go on as you. Go on with your schmattas. But you're going to an event.

You're performing not in a comedy club. You're performing for- You're going to a synagogue to perform. You're going to a synagogue. Listen, I'm hoping to get in the Jewish circuit, so sure, I'll listen to you. Yeah. I'll put on my one suit. At any one of these events that's it's event where comedy is not meant to be

done those are what i call you know a gala a fundraiser wear your suit so that somebody sees that and says we need that in our event oh yeah that fancy restaurant that you performed at that bombed uh did you wear a suit uh I think I wore a button-down. Button-down? Yeah, a suit would have been better. Yeah, a suit would have been better. It was an 80th... Did we talk about it on here? Yeah. It was an 80th birthday party. John Borromeo got it for

me. The woman before me talked about the Holocaust and cried, and then they brought me on stage. Yeah, that's my life. My life. Are you kidding me? I did a fundraiser for a Holocaust museum called the Museum of Faith. It took a new angle to have on the Holocaust museum. The guy that spoke before me talked about, I don't know if it was him or somebody he was talking about that,

he goes, you know, in Auschwitz, when you wanted to kill yourself, you knew you could just run onto the fence there's electrical and you'd just be fried and I I don't know if it was him or somebody was telling the story he was reading a story of one of this faith the museum's theme was what kept people alive what kept me and he goes and it was running towards the fence to kill himself and all of a sudden he sings he hears the singing of Mao's tour, the song he sang during Hanukkah. He goes, oh my God, it's Hanukkah. And then he just turned around and didn't kill himself.

And here's Modi. That's my life. My podcast is called And Here's Modi because that's what I follow. We're raising money for diabetes, juvenile diabetes they put the movie on the guy i haven't lost my sight they took my toes off there's a machine in my pancreas and here's modi literally that's like my whole do you ever go for the riff off the like for that one

sometimes you have you go up and you go now i want to kill myself where's the fence no you got to do it right you got to do it right you got to do it fence? No, you got to do it right. You got to do it right. You got to do it right. Uh-huh. You got to do it right. You can't, you got to do it. An example,

one time I did a show for Park East Synagogue, one of the richest synagogues in New York City, and they had at the Waldorf, not the Waldorf, yeah, at the Waldorf, Waldorf Astoria,

when it was still open before the renovations, and a thousand people. And the rabbi was up there with the guy they were honoring, and the guy they were honoring is the son of a survivor, and they brought the father up,

and they're talking about how we could have been names on a wall, but we survived, and they put me on the kinder transport to leave, and they just didn't stop Holocaust storing it. And the guy that ran the event said, Modi, up there just has to emits to serve dinner and and and so I walk on stage this is one of the most prominent rabbis in New York the guy that they're honoring is a

Trillionaire he owns a football team or something and I just walk on stage and stand by the podium. And they both look at me like this. And they just, hello, Modi. Hello, Rabbi. And they just began to walk off. So now the audience is looking at me. They've just literally had Schindler's List in real time.

And now what do I open with? I go, ladies and gentlemen, I am neither a son of a survivor or a grandchild of a survivor. In the mid-1930s, both my grandparents, living in Eastern Europe, looked around and said, this doesn't look good.

Let's get the hell out of here and go to Palestine I said Palestine that the Israeli ambassador was there uh-huh it the room blew up it was the funniest line I could have that and then said enjoy your dinner and got off like you need to yeah yeah need to yeah it was like I'm letting him know my parents saw my grandparents like knew this wasn't good they got the hell out yeah yeah yeah those Jews that got out before the yeah it was like I'm letting them know my parents my grandparents knew this wasn't good they got the hell out

yeah yeah yeah they forgot about those Jews that got out before the war so it was like you have to you have to be very careful but yeah

when you said it was that your first time ever using that line that joke where else can I use that line of course where else that only that moment

were you nervous did you have that little thing inside I said either this is gonna die or it's gonna kill it but it killed you get to just could you imagine what would your line have been no idea if you had to do one of your characters luckily i'm not a stand-up so i don't have to worry like my accountant character you know um so in the last i you know, I did my research.

You've been talking more on stage about being gay. I did my research. I did my research. I'm so curious in this. You build this big following with Jewish people. And I'm sure it covers the spectrum liberal conservative a hundred percent everything yeah yeah and what was the first of all i mean did you talk about being gay on stage at all no in the past no was it ever something you wanted to i mean there must

be material ideas for jokes that you had to go nah i won't i didn't it didn't, it didn't even, they weren't even ideas that came to me. Even now when I talk about it, I don't talk about being gay. I talk about being married to a millennial who happens to be a man. It's still not like, I'm more Jewish. I'm more Jewish than I am gay. Sure. So the material is more always Jewish. In my special, I have a whole thing about the gay, but again, it's me being married to a millennial.

Yeah. And it's the age difference more than it's the gay world. When you did that Merrill Lynch person with the gay voice, was there any part of you that said like, No, I was literally imitating this guy at work. Yeah.

And the secretary at work and the chinese which you cannot do today and there's a billion things you just cannot do today back i was just imitating them yeah i had the character in my head just zooping it right to the audience with punch lines and that was it sure super over the top It would have made you look tame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that crazy. And I have no, I have some tapings of it,

but like, no, I'm just now recently found that the comedy seller, old, old tapes. You know how the seller, I went all under, I have to say. You know how the seller sometimes posts like old clips from the archive?

Yeah. You go on Instagram one day and there's you and they're like, and this is China man from Maryland. And you're and you're like no you gotta take this down yeah yeah there's a you know john penne did you of course yeah john penne i've talked about him before amazing comedian but every album of his ends with him going to the chinese buffet and you're like oh no no but that look he does the voice, the Chinese voice. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Like every album ends with it. It's not going to fly this day. I mean, it's just one of these legacies that it's a tricky legacy because people aren't going to play it anymore. Right. But he was a brilliant comedian. Really?

Oh my God, force of nature. Yeah. And back then, the word Oriental was still on the table. Sure. Yeah. Sure. That was still on the table. Sure. Yeah. Sure. That's not on the table anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to bleep it out of this podcast. Probably, yeah. But it was... When you... In Israel, what are gay rights like in Israel right now? Israel is amazing for gay rights. Yeah? It's insane.

They have a parade. They have gay... It's amazing. what did you feel like when you were was there any part of you that was nervous that your audience this huge audience that you've built that some of them will go oh what the fuck no no yeah and we've only added more from it and sure it's you be loyal to your audience, be true to your audience and the rest will follow. That's a motto I believe. And so my audience is loyal to me, I'm loyal to them, they know I deliver, know your audience, they know I know what to talk about

at whatever event is happening. And so it only helped. And look, I was becoming more and more popular and more and more, I won't say celebrity status, but more and more known and bigger following and all of that. And I'm married and I'm living with my husband. And so we took control of the narrative. You know, we saw one of my,

one of the people that followed me and was a big fan is a woman who worked for Variety magazine. So we approached her and said, hi, we'd like to invite you to one of our shows. And I was in L.A. and she came to the show. And I go, this is my husband. Her mouth just dropped. And then she did the whole story on Variety. And it was an insane, amazing piece. And then that did the whole story on Variety, and it was an insane, amazing piece. And then that went out,

and then we did an article for a Jewish publication just to really hold the story together, and that was it. Better than somebody else deciding, I'm going to take control of his narrative. You understand? Of course. What aspects? I mean, I know Judaism, it's a big spectrum of beliefs,

but I've told the story in here before of when I did my birthright trip, we had a Hasidic tour guide, or he was like the guide for the whole thing. And at some point he said, oh, we're going to play a game called Stump the Rabbi. Ask me anything about Judaism. And I was like, how do you feel about homosexuality?

And he gave like one of these very vague like oh life is hard if someone said they're gay I'd give them a hug because life is tough and it was just very clear he was beating around the bush ultimately that it was not a lifestyle that he approved of I will tell you

the goal of every Jew is to the goal of every jew and people don't know don't understand is to to to bring mashiach to bring the messiah that is the goal that is the some jews don't know that that's the goal but that's the ghost i don't know if you saw my hat mashiach energy that's the goal you have to create whether it's with another man another woman whatever it is

that's your goal that's what you have to do to bring a messianic era a peace, harmony in the world we do it through calm as people do it through healing with the hospital as long as you have a consciousness

that you're doing it and so but there must be some sex that aren't quite as of course of course they're they're they're and they're not creating mashiach energy sure they're not they're they're some article just came out of some some crazy guy that i wouldn't even we're discussing should we talk about on my podcast he wrote some insane article about me um it's he holds it he's a rabbi from toronto he's a clown and he has this like blog and um and if you see what he blogs about usually it's gay issues

like he found this photographer who does religious weddings and she did one wedding of two women and he blogged about that and there's this other anything gay and usually if you notice when people attack one specific thing they're struggling with themselves sure if you ever see any of the senators or the congressmen that were always like anti-gay anti-gay they're the ones that they catch you know such a dick in a in a bathroom in the airport you know so this guy's a mess um why was i telling you this because it's just that those people that are on that route, they're not bringing Messianic energy. They're not bringing Mashiach energy.

They're just bringing negativity and shit to the world. But there are people, my rabbi, Orthodox rabbi, at Sixth Street Synagogue, the most welcoming synagogue in the world. So much fun. Danny Cohen comes there. Leah Forrest, I don't know if you know who she is. She comes there. It's an amazing,'t know if you know she is she comes there

it's an amazing amazing place and you have to find the good the good people yeah i mean it's good it's good i i there was there was something i did some uh show where they made a donation and tova recommended this this group called jqy which is Jewish Queer Youth. It was just like a, but I just know that there's certain parts of it where it's, I sometimes have a struggle where I'm like, I see all the nice aspects of religions in general. And then some of them have this deep base of homophobia that I'm like,

it's, I hope it can be extricated, but for people who believe in, you know, we got to go back to the oldest book ever written in the world, it's tough to extricate it. And it's, I would love if everyone just got over it, but I sometimes wonder if there is a way

for these religions to continue and somehow remove. They might not get over it, but that's not who I focus on. I said, if they have a problem with it, I don't want to be performing there. Of course. There's so many people-

Are there any venues you go like, no? I'm sure. Do any venues say to you, have any venues said to you, please don't talk about your husband? One kind of like went through it a little bit. They just like tap dancing. You know,

it's a very orthodox audience. And, and I, he said, Modi knows what to do. He said, Modi knows what to do. That was it.

And I did. It was, I slayed it. It was an insane show. Was there any urge in you at the end to be like? It was in the middle of Ohio. Sure. Wow.

It was this, it's this beautiful neighborhood in the middle of Ohio. Orthodox Jews, they have a school, there was a school, there was 550 people, it was amazing.

And, you know, they all got together, the community. I'm so blessed I get to see all these communities in the world. Yeah. All the Jewish communities

in the world, I get to see all of them. It's such a, it's such a treat. Is there any urge in you at the end of the set of, Huh?

Is there any urge in you at the end of the set to Huh? Is there any urge in you at the end of the set to go and my husband, and to say the thing that they asked you to not say? I don't have that in me, and I wouldn't have said it anyway. It's just not the audience for it. Sure, sure. It's just not the audience for it.

I have my material for them. They want to hear jokes about the stuff that I have, the Sephardic Ashkenazi stuff. They want to hear, yeah, that's. They want to hear jokes about the stuff that I have for them. The Sephardic Ashkenazi stuff. They want to hear. Yeah, that's what they want to hear. And so I give that to them. I don't do what I want to. You have to, you know, to the audience.

Sure. Yeah. Sure. And Leo. Yes. Your husband. Is he your manager? He is.

I have an agent and I have. He's. He's something. I, yeah. He's more than, more than my manager. He's a producer. He's the one that when we were in COVID and I was doing characters and I was doing, he put everything online and he began taking over.

He found me the agent somewhere. He found, he found theaters that would take a chance on me and we just sold out all of them he produced my my i did five shows in london he called the theater he we sent the money we boom big hit we kept adding shows paris um he found a touring company mrg that i'm working with he found them and produced it and the special i just just did, 100% produced and directed it. Now let me, because that's incredible, but since this is the downside,

are there any struggles? Are there any rules or with a relationship that has work involved? I mean, there's obviously, there can be stressful moments. Do you have any rules of, let's not talk about work at this point.

Do you have any, have you had any struggles of having such an intense, to have things it's a lot it's a lot it's a lot we we have rules and the rule is we have three rules that we live by hydrate moisturize and be nice yeah that's it if you live by those rules it it's all fine. If you hydrate, you're in a state, like you came in here completely dehydrated and the first thing

you hit us with is your dog's bleeding ass. If you were hydrated, you might have saved us that whole thing. And then moisturize and moisturize, which is a part of hydration

and then just be nice. Just don't look for the fight. Don't look for, there's no reason for it. There's nothing that's that bad and there's nothing that. Yeah. I think though.

Tim Dillon thought he was off for the rest of the show. He thought, I'm going to sit the rest of this out. These two Jews are going at it and I'll just sit here. What are you about to say? What are you about to say? What are you about to say?

You're like, there should be a fourth rule. No, no, no. I'm fine with those. I think... Those are the three rules that work for us. I have no idea what your relationship with your partner is. Oh, we have 3,000 rules. If I have a bad set, I'm going to go take a walk around the block,

have a cigarette, come back. Smoke? No, I just did. I had one recently, I had like one rough set and I was about to go home with that, that energy, the opposite of whatever energy is on your head. And I was, you know, going to be like, why doesn't this, why doesn't this, this fuck this one joke. And I said, you know what? I want to have a cigarette. She doesn't like me to smoke. So it feels, sometimes you got to do something a little that, you know, oh, you don't like me to smoke? Let me do it. I need it.

I need to do something you don't like. And this is a nice little thing. So I went around the block and had a cigarette. I never had that. Or I needed it. Sometimes I got to listen back to the set. If I had a bad set, that's just what I needed to do. Okay.

You ever have a bad set? Rarely. Rarely, but once in a while that audience is not all there yeah yeah yeah i uh how do you deal with that you plow through as though they're with you 100 i was i i was telling him before you came um i've been performing at some theaters where they're like the chairs are too comfortable so you see there's nothing worse than the audience having something to to that cushions their head yeah if they slip down a little bit and they have had oh they're out goodbye yeah they're done they're not gonna let me in the podcast exactly you right now in the podcast imagine now Russell coming here

there's gonna be like a stump just a big wooden box that was the best episode we've ever had yeah before we go to our next segment

this gotta stop I do wanna touch on cause I rewatched it again today when you roasted Ben Shapiro at that event and what event was that?

it wasn't a roast of him specifically, was it? It was Commentary Magazine. I don't know how to describe them. It's kind of right-wingy Jewish magazine, very heady and very intellectual with these huge words. And these articles just go forever and ever about the neo-blah-blah-blah-ism of new Reconstructionist Democrats

and things that I have no idea what they're talking about. But they do a fundraiser every year at the Plaza, and they roast somebody. So the first year they did Joe Lieberman, I did that roast. It was really good. And then I think I went a little hard on the Ben Shapiro. I never got back in there.

Well, I think you I watched, because you did go I think a good hard. I mean, I think Ben Shapiro doesn't deserve even the fun of being roasted. I think he is scum on the bottom of a shoe. I hate the man. I think he's ridden. I hate him. And

that's why I liked how hard you went. I mean, you had a line, you said, no one's inspired more anti-Semitism. Ben Shapiro's inspired more anti-Semitism than Jeffrey Epstein and someone else. And then you said at least Jeffrey Epstein had the decency to kill himself. And I was like, yeah, that's the level you gotta go

if you got someone like Ben Shapiro. Yeah, but it was a room full of people that loved him, and it was in a sweet way and funny. It wasn't just being up there. And I will tell you that most of that roast was written by my rabbi. Good. And Leo had a few lines in there too. I had a few lines in there too,

but we all, they all pull, we all pull together to write that roast and the Lieberman roast also. Leo's Jewish? No. Really? No.

He must love, love, does he know all the things now? He knows more than anybody than you know. He could literally, he could really, I was going to say,

Paschkin really tell you, he knows everything. Everything. That's so fascinating. Did he convert? Did he do any of the things? No, I don't even do it. Is he circumcised?

What are you, really? What are you, are you, is this what you're going to take me to on your podcast? Go back to your father on the fly. Yeah. Yeah. Horrible. Go fly with your father. You have some thoughts on Ashkenazi Jews that you always tell me about.

Yeah, I think we can save them for another episode Alright let's go to our next segment I've been here since Monday This has got to stop You got a thing that's got to stop I know Leo told you about this I know You played the theme song for this segment

I don't have my earphones on Oh sorry No problem. I'm sure it's adorable, the song. Gotta Stop. What's Gotta Stop? The barking from the neighbor's door. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that Russell's pro dog. I had something for the other one, but for this one, What's Gotta Stop? Without Being Hacky. You know what's gotta stop? Do you know what's got to stop? We were talking about this before.

I love to drive. I love to drive, period. I love to get a nice fat car. I got a beautiful car. I love to drive. I don't mind driving. I enjoy it. Since COVID, during COVID, you would drive.

You'd be the only one on the road. We live right here by the BQE'd be the only one on the road. So we live right here by the BQE, and we used to get on the BQE to go shopping in Long Island. The big supermarket, you were scared because you wanted to have space. We used to go to these big supermarkets in Long Island. So there was nobody on the road. Just to be on the Long Island Expressway alone, it was so fun.

It was so great. When people came back, you'd think they'd come back become a little more calm people came back insane on the road and now they're doing these racing so you're on the road all of a sudden like right by you they're racing that they know the cops aren't stopping because cops aren't stopping anybody anymore because they don't want to deal with they don't want to do something racing they're dealing with dog poop yeah they're dealing with dog poop um so this racing on the highway has got to stop do you know what i'm talking about do you yeah yes i do and they do it up in my neighborhood because it's it goes off one of those highways and people come off go quick and then they get back onto it um but yeah you're on the highway in the middle lane or in the now if if you're in the left lane, which is the faster lane,

they go around you. And then you see the guy he's racing with coming through also. And it's so unhinged. They're actually racing. They're actually racing. Right, people are racing. It's like racing gangs.

It's like Fast and Furious, basically, but not as fast or furious. Oh, that's awful. Sometimes they're like, and then it's just traffic. They're just sitting there all of a sudden. They just did 90 miles an hour to stand in front of you. It's so insane. That has to stop.

I don't know how, but it has to stop. This seems like one thing the police should do. One thing people could get behind for once. The police, after defund the police, the police said, have fun. We're done. Sure.

Well, that's good. That's good policing. They go, oh, you don't like us? Well, then we won't do our jobs anymore. Great. All right. Let me go to the... No, here's what I want to do first. So this is my Patreon idea.

You don't have to participate if you don't want... I'm going to put the names of the patrons on the screen now. This is on YouTube. What I want to do to fill the time underneath real quick is I wanted to tell... I love street jokes. I love street jokes. And I tell the one that you told me on your podcast.

And if you have any after I tell this one, feel free. A Jewish one. You don't have any street jokes. And I tell the one that you told me on your podcast. And if you have any after I tell this one, feel free. A Jewish one. You don't have any street jokes. Do not. It's a street joke. A street joke. It's a joke you tell at the barbershop. I'll tell the one you told me if you think of another Jewish one.

Let me hear. This is Modi's, not me. A priest and a rabbi are on the bench. A little boy runs by. The priest says to the rabbi, hey, you want to fuck him? And the rabbi says, out of what?

That's a good one. You told me that one. I told it to you much better, though. What do you mean? You did the voices. You're right. The priest said, hello. You did it acting

class. You did it like an acting class. I overacted the street joke? You did it. It's... Yeah. You got another... Tell me another Jew joke. First of all, when you're telling a joke like this, imagine you're speaking in Yiddish.

It's so much better. it's so much better it's so much better so if you know it there's a joke a couple's having dinner in a restaurant over to the table comes this beautiful woman over to the table comes a woman over to its Yiddish Tintish Kim it's literally's Yiddish it's in Tishkent it's literally in Yiddish would you ever say the words over to the table

comes this beautiful woman no a beautiful woman walked over to the table sure right but in Yiddish it's backwards

so it makes it so much funnier so much funnier can you tell me the punchline to this joke what happened with the beautiful woman

no tell me what happened with the beautiful woman I'm doing this. You guys are going to clean up on Patreon and my jokes. He's got the priest. No, the street joke. Do you have a joke that's not your joke?

Patrons are off the screen now. It's just you. No, these aren't my jokes. Those are jokes that are out there. Tell me a joke that's out there. You must know all the good Jew ones. Oh, come on. Tell me one good Jew one, please. I tell that joke all the time. That's the one you on. Tell me one good Jew one, please. I tell that joke all the time. That's the one you get? I'll give you another one then.

90-year-old man marries a 60-year-old woman on the wedding night. She says to him, Irving, come upstairs and make love to me. Irving says, I can't do both. I like that one. That's a good one. You can steal that too. Don't credit me on your Twitter either. Just take all my ads, put it on Twitter, and don't credit me. Our final segment is music playing now.

You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. I got a blessing, and I think it's a different one. I fly a lot. not a good sleeper. I've always struggled sleeping. I flew to Arizona in the middle seat, terrible, and I finally found the sleeping position that works for me. And it is head back like this, and it's changed my life.

And I don't know if I'm able to sleep better now because I'm older and my body is more tired and it needs it more but but i was able both times it's i'm sure it looks horrifying it looks disgusting yeah but just head back and it works like you had the little pillow they had a little pillow or no i don't even think i need i don't even think i like the pillow i think i think i like i need the feeling of its back how are you in the back. How are you in the middle seat? How are you in the middle seat? Because if I fly Delta, I get something good, but they didn't have good flights,

and I could pay more. Yes. But, you know. One time I had LOL, a comedy club, where I would work in the beginning. Garbage. But some Hasids would come to the late show. Usually just all guys. Once in a while, a couple.

And they were not good audience members. Oh, terrible. But I said at one point early in comedy, I said to this guy, I said, oh, do you guys smoke pot? And he stood up, he said, he said, no, but we'll sell it. And I was like, God damn it, dude.

You can't say that. You can't say it like that with the accent and everything. We got an image to uphold. But he it no but i'll sell it i uh i did a show time for a hasidic audience and i it was right when the vaccines were coming and go is anybody here vaccinated just like just because they go no but he can sell you if you want he had the vaccines to sell it was literally that oh my god all right what's the next segment we gotta wrap this up i've been i missed the longest podcast on earth what's your blessing real quick um i uh i was struggling before vacation with audience stuff for the show i'm doing um and i it's been just

taking that a little time off it's been night and day difference i've been having a great time doing the show um i'm having so much fun audience The audience has been great. And I'm thankful for that. Great. Mo, do you have a blessing for us? I have a blessing for you? Yeah. I'm blessed. Yeah, my comedy special, we just did it.

That was such a blessing that it's over. It's done. It's wow. It's like giving birth. It was like unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. That's why I need to film it i

need to give birth i got a i got a 28 month baby in my stomach and it is i think it's stillborn um all right anything you want to plug this is coming out on uh may 23rd okay so uh modilive.com for all the shows. We added a show in Paris. We added a show in Seattle. I'm doing May. So, this is, all the shows might be sold out. But I'm doing a West Coast tour starting from Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, LA. The Saban Theater sold out. And then Chicago.

We might be adding another show there because I sold that theater out as well. And then going to a bunch of shows in New York and the most important town hall for December 21st, my Christmas show, my holiday show, holidays show we call it because there's nobody Christmasing in there. It's going on sale this tomorrow. Oh my Godmasing in there it's going on sale this tomorrow

oh my god yes tomorrow it's going on sale which is going to be a week after whatever anyway it's going to be on

modilive.com get your tickets find out where I'm performing near you and be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show

that's Mashiach Energy and if you steal that line from me, I will break through this door and smash your little machine into the wall and call your landlord. If I changed my brand fully to Mashiach energy, I can't even say the word.

It would be a real struggle. Mashiach energy. Mashiach energy. Mashiach energy. Exactly. What do you want to plug? Come see Titanic, the musical, at the Daryl Roth Theater. Mashiach energy. Mashiach energy. Exactly. What do you want to plug? Come see Titanic, the musical, the Daryl Roth Theater.

For me, I'm headlining Hilarities in Cleveland this weekend. Tickets, I'm sure, still available. Indianapolis, the weekend after that. And London's doing great. We just added a third show in London. Where in London? Where in London? Soho Theater.

Yeah. So we had a third show. November. Where in London? Soho Theater. Yeah. So we had a third show November 3rd. And hopefully by then, maybe even a fourth. And then see me in LA September 25th at the Hollywood Improv. And remember,

be the friend that brings 10 friends to the show. Be the friend that buys tickets and you don't even have... Stink. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.