The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #146 Hari Kondabolu Doesn’t Know Me

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

Comedian Hari Kondabolu joins to find out he’s been mixing me up with some kid he met at NYU a long time ago, and then we discuss the downsides of translating death threats, Hindu epics, ignoring an invitation to collab from AOC, and why politicians should have to occasionally ride the subway. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Hari on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, & Twitter Watch Hari's new special, Vacation Baby, on YouTube! 800pgr.lnk.to/VacationBaby/youtube Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram See Russell in Titanique in NYC! E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you go to NYU? No, I did a program in NYU. I did like a musical theater program at NYU. Yeah, I think I have, because I've told this story way too often. That you were a freshman at NYU. I did the orientation at NYU. You came down and said, hey, I really want to do stand-up. Where do you go?

And I'm like, oh, there's a bunch of spots. I'm like, great. And then I could have sworn you told me years later I was the kid that you spoke to after one of those orientation shows. So if it's not you, how do we know each other? We definitely know each other from, you did like one of my weekly shows way back at the pit or whatever. Jesus Christ. But this is a fiction then.

Well, I even told Des, I've known this kid forever. It sounds like a nicer story. I was trying to claim responsibility for everything, Jim. Well, because you wrote... No, I... Because when I got the Comedy Central set, you wrote me this very sweet message about, hey, look how far you've come or something.

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, that's really nice. I just booked you once on The Last Laugh at the Pit Underground for $25, but very kind of you to be that supportive. Well, what makes me sad is whoever that other kid was, I made no impact on his life. Yeah, I think I saw him barking outside the grizzly pear the other day. He told me to keep doing it.

I'm not giving up yet. It's got to happen. But I felt so guilty because it was so sweet what you said. I didn't want to be like, and, you know, I was even newer. So I was like, oh, my God, this guy is reaching out to me. And now all of a sudden people are going to be, oh, you're Harry Kudlow's protege, right? He's talked about how he changed your life. Yeah, it's funny.

Your styles are nothing alike, but yeah, I can see it. I can see it. Oh my God. That's so funny. I'm so glad we got

to the bottom of that and that you didn't leave the moment we established that we don't have this storied history. I got it wrong. We can tell people. I don't really care.

I'd like people to think I went to NYU, if I'm being honest. So, yeah, we met at NYU. You were his protege. Kid, I can tell you got it. I can tell you got it. What did you say to that guy? Were you very sweet? Yeah, I was probably not as broken as I am now.

So I probably told him, yeah, absolutely. There's all these great. I mean, you can start anywhere. If you start in Queens, there's a place called Creek in the Cave. You go to Brooklyn, there's all these great shows. You go to Manhattan. Now I'd be like, what are you doing? Why would you want to do this?

There's no reason to do this. Do you know how to edit and subtitle things? Do you like doing that for a living? Yeah, you could absolutely. If you want to edit and subtitle, this is the industry for you. Otherwise, why are you doing this? This is the downside. One, two could absolutely. If you want to edit and subtitle, this is the industry for you. Otherwise, why are you doing this? This is the downside.

One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. Welcome to The Downside. My name's Gianmarco Cerezi. This is a place where we're free to be negative, complain, bitch, moan, not pretend things are good because they're not.

I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. How are you doing? Hi, Gianmarco. And we're here with our special guest, Harry Contebolio. Thank you so much for being here. Hello, fellas. Thank you. We just established. We'll see what we were able to capture that we do not know each other.

But you're very sweet. I got to see how nice you can be, the potential. I had an investment in your success you have no idea and even I mean and the main reason

I agreed is like this kid's come a long way I gotta keep supporting him wow I said to my girl I said to my girlfriend should I bring this up that he wrote me

a nice thing and she was like I don't know it might be a little strange to get it off on the wrong foot it's good it's not the wrong foot I believe in honesty I good. It's good. It's not the wrong foot.

I believe in honesty. I believe my ego was too big to begin with, John Mark. This is the best thing that could have happened to me. Now, you do know my girlfriend, though. Tova Silberman. Oh, my God. We judged a contest together. You judged a contest together in Vermont.

Really? Yes. What contest? Vermont's funniest. Is it definitely her? You want to check to make sure I didn't get that wrong? Is it another manager? It could have been another manager. It's definitely her.

When was this? 2019? Something like that. Tina Frimmel was the winner. That's when she signed Tina, huh? Tina's so funny. So funny. Brilliant. Did you see her Comedy Central set

no oh she just had a Comedy Central set oh good for her we'll put it links in the comments we'll put it in Tina Frimmel

I'll definitely write her a note and congratulate her and you know say you're welcome for getting you started and influencing your comedy career

from those early days yeah those who are listening, who are new, just a reminder, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. Bonus episodes, live episodes, my clean comedy special, The Rats Are In Me. I want to talk all about

you. I have some shit I'm dealing with. I had a rough morning. What happened? Okay, last year, my dad had a quintuple bypass. you know, not the healthiest life, not the most unhealthy life, but in my mind I'm like, I've lived a healthier life than he has. Right. Food-wise at the very least.

Right. But I'm like, okay, I'm going to go get my calcium score. I don't know what the fuck that means, but I'm going to go get like a CT scan of my heart, just see where things are at. Okay. I do that on Tuesday. Very scary.

It's one of those machines you lie down and it's a glimpse of what the future is going to look like. And it's horrifying. And I'm in there. They leave the room because of the radiation, whatever. And this thing starts spinning like a laundry machine and it starts getting loud. Like where you're like,

oh, is the laundry machine about it starts getting loud like where you're like oh is the laundry machine about to break and i i i yell out i go is it supposed to be doing that yeah and uh horrifying got it done this morning i fucking wake up i get a message from nyu whatever it's like your calcium score is 13 uh that's that's i google it that's technically heart disease you know within the range of heart disease they say you have a little bit of plaque in one of your arteries and that's it huh no let's talk about this no don't worry about anything we can check in on monday nothing nothing and i are you using the right word calcium yeah calcium It doesn't just make your bones strong It kills your dads

Wait but if they didn't make it a big deal It's probably not a big deal right They said there's a thing In your artery Sure But they did nothing Okay screaming about it Just settle down John Mark marco then then i and i think

that then i call my dad i call the doctor i i'm i'm at my worst self and the doctors they're not gonna call you right back it's gonna be a while before you can get that guy on the phone oh not at all and this is the doctor who has he's like jokes about everything he's like he will say, yeah, looks like you have a couple of days left. And it, it, but I think sometimes I'm at that age where like, you're talking to the doctor about things and you're like, so are you saying that I'm going to die someday? Like, I think that's part of the, the, the rage is just being like, cause it's not that high and yeah, I can prevent it. But at some point I will die. And I think that's why And yeah, I can prevent it. But at some point, I will die.

And I think that's why I'm so mad at the doctor. It's like trying to be like, so you're saying this is going to be a thing? Yeah. That it's going to be bad. I think it's not understanding what the patient is going through. Because I don't think, because if it was really bad they would tell you and they would they would do more tests right but it's the idea of like i'm going to give them this information without explaining it at all yeah and so i'm sure they'll figure out it's fine and the

thing i just think it's doctors so in their worlds they're not thinking how you're going to receive it i remember i got a call once i had a bunch of blood work done and i got a call once, I had a bunch of blood work done, and I got a call once from a doctor, and the message was, it's important, please call me back, which is terrifying. And you're an anxious guy. And I'm what? Anxious guy. Oh, very, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very excited.

Lots of anxiety. So I call, and I'm like, okay, I'm ready. And she said something about not having, it wasn't calcium, but it's like you need to have more vitamin E. It just feels like the numbers aren't high. You need more vitamin E. I'm like, okay. And I was very upset.

Yeah. Because I was hard reaching her. It had been hours of me imagining. You went in person to get that info? I called. If she didn't pick up, I was going to walk there. I had something like that, too, where they said, we're not allowed to tell you over the phone yeah and i i mean again not a good quality but i i i bullied them into giving me the answers yeah and they said your cholesterol is a

little high that's but it's like what is the copay scam is that what they're just trying to make 25 bucks off you to come in yeah yeah yeah one time i had one time they told me they said, um, we, it was a blood work thing. And they go said, we won't call you unless there's something really wrong, you know? And then the next day I get a phone call from them and I picked that phone up and I remember where I was in the street in New York. I thought, this is where I find out it's all over. And they were like, yeah, we got your blood work. And they were like, totally normal. got your butter. And they were like,

totally normal. I said, I was like, okay. Cause you said you wouldn't call unless it was like, I was like freaking out. Cause I just love the idea of the doctor. That's how they diagnose it.

They go, is this Russell? It's all over. We got the results back. It's, it's done. Say goodbye. Well,

I'm sorry about your, your heart. I'm more sorry you brought it up. Cause it up because I'm going to faint right now. You know me. I need the medical stuff. Do you know what your calcium score is? No, but I go to a cardiologist once a year because of the blood pressure. And it's never been – that's not been a thing.

And I do all the tests. And on top of this, they said – this is not a new thing. They said it would be $150 out of pocket for the heart thing. I said, okay. I wake up. They say you owe $450 more out of pocket for the hard thing. I said, okay. I wake up. They say you owe $450 more. And there's a feeling. And I wrote back.

It's because you screamed. It's because there's like some extra charge for you screaming and freaking everyone out. And I don't know. Have you ever been in one of those machines where you have to lie down and you go into a thing? Yeah. Well, I had to get an MRI. I had a concussion, so I went to get an MRI a bunch of years back,

and it was a closed MRI, which basically means you're in a machine lying flat, and the thing is right here, and it's completely dark. There's no space. I didn't know any of this, and so I go in, and he's like,

are you going to be okay'm are you afraid of tight spaces and i thought i wasn't until that moment because i don't think i realized how tight tight man and so next thing i start screaming and i'm gonna get me out i can't do this i can't do it so the tech comes back in opens the thing i i get out i'm like did you did you get anything like i she's like i i i had just gotten to my seat i had just gotten to my seat. I had just gotten to my seat when you started screaming. That was my first like, we're good, right? So then they told me there was an open MRI machine.

I'm like, that's what you lead with. There was another option to this torture contraption that seemed like from another era. Also, apparently they're like, did you not get a prescription for Xanax or something to knock you out before? I'm like, no. None of this. None of this. I'm like, oh, people often do that so they can just be asleep and they don't

feel anything. That's like those relaxation pod things. I would never do that. What's a relaxation pod? You mean a sensory deprivation tank? It's like a little pod. You're floating in water, but then it closes down and you're supposed to relax

and you feel weightless. It's totally dark and you're floating in water, but in a pod. It sounds like a nightmare already, but then I heard the story. Arielle, our friend Arielle, they forgot about her which she was a comedian uh no she's an actor uh but she was she was in bath with him they forgot about her

she was lying in there an extra hour and a half she was in that pod for like two and a half hours because they just forgot she was in there and she was like i feel like it was like taking longer how do they open the door like I feel like 10 minutes in, I'd be like, let me out. Let me out. I can't imagine relaxing in there. But yeah.

Yeah. They don't do anything to make it a hospitable experience. I know that's not the priority, but like there could be pillows. Like with the thing with the noise. There could be pillows. No one told me that.

This thing was just making a noise that felt like something's wrong. And in my mind, I just saw it. And they said they could see it on my heart thing, that my heart rate shot up. Because in my head, I saw it exploding. And I died. It's terrifying. All you got to do is a couple of sentences.

This is what you're going to expect. And that makes it so much easier. Or you could say, I don't want to do this. At least give me some sense of what this is. The thing in the dark just made me think about, I was in Montreal with my partner, and we went to this restaurant that had gotten these incredible recommendations, and they said that whole idea is that it's,

the waitstaff is all people who are visually impaired, and you're going to be sitting in a dark room while they serve you. Now, I don't think I understood what dark meant. When I meant, I thought it meant like a dark room, but you can still kind of see each other no i couldn't see anything it was pitch black they had blackout curtains like you were in the dark and like we're opening your eyes and closing your eyes exact same thing which i guess is the point because all the people are are visually impaired the first uh five to ten, probably even 15 minutes, it might have even been longer.

I lost a sense of time. It was like when I was in that MRI. Like, get me out of here. And so I asked my partner, like, you got to hold my hand. Just hold my hands, hold my hands, hold my hands. And then we're getting through it. And then by the end of it, I was holding her hands. Like, she was freaking out.

Like, I'd gotten used to it, and she was holding her hands. She was freaking out. I'd gotten used to it and she finally hit her limit. And the whole time, the waiter's incredible. I have no idea where any of the tables are. How did you eat the food? You poked around and hoped you'd get something. Oh, it was a mess.

It was pretty incredible. You'd have to start visualizing, okay, there's this much space on the table. I left the cocktail here. I left the water glass here. There's something here. You'd be spilling shit everywhere all the time. Not at all, but it made the experience very taxing and stressful.

Because everything was so deliberate and slow. I want to try that. That's the kind of shit I do want to do. Is it a pop-up or is it a permanent place? Permanent. It's called, I think to try that. That's the kind of shit. Is it a pop up or is it permanent? Permanent. It's called, I think it's called all noir. There's one in Toronto and one in Montreal.

Let's go. And we're in Montreal this year. The good thing about the one in Montreal is everyone was speaking French. I didn't, I don't speak French. So it just felt like background music in a weird way as opposed to, and they did have background music. And whenever the music stopped for whatever reason,

it was terrifying because all of a sudden there was a break of like, you know, it whenever the music stopped, for whatever reason, it was terrifying. Because all of a sudden, there was a break of... It just felt like we're in a dark room. Because we were. How do the waiters get around? They're unbelievable. They don't have night vision goggles or anything? Well, because they're visually impaired. They can't see.

Oh, the waiters are visually impaired. So that's kind of the experience. You were experiencing what they're experiencing. And so this was... I remember that I was checking it. It's an interesting career. I can think of a lot of different like disabilities. That's like,

well, do we have to have dinner like this? But it's, it's, but it was really just like kind of beautiful because he's like, he would like kind of calm us down, which part of me felt guilty. I'm like,

you're living this every day. You're calming us down. I can't imagine people being like, I hate it. I hate it. Get me out of here. And meanwhile, he's like, like he was was holding three trays and he's putting them on different tables while he's talking to us. I'm like, how is this happening?

You're holding three trays. You know which table each one belongs to while you're calming me down. It was like, you're unbelievable. This is so amazing. And at the end of it, I'm like, I think I would do that again. And my partner was like, she was this is so amazing and at the end of it i'm like i think i would do that again and my partner was like she was absolutely against it yeah yeah absolutely not wow i was really because it was something it was it got kind of peaceful after a while and it was weird because like it felt like we tapped out early i'm like oh we probably left after 30 minutes

we'd been there for an hour and a half to two hours. You just have no sense of time. That's what we should do. We should do one. Do a sensory deprivation tank with me. Not the tank. I'll do the restaurant, not the tank. I've convinced we're going to do a shrooms night. We're planning it now.

Russell's never done shrooms. I've never done shrooms. I want to do a practice round at my house in the summertime or fall. Sure, sure, sure. Before we go away to do it do you know what i mean like i just want to be in my own home before it really was so chill you've never done shrooms i've never smoked weed i've never wow i'm a square old school square now is that because is it were you trained well as a child not to do this stuff that's some of it you know i i felt i was always a quote good boy you know but at the

same time like i just the idea of uh losing control in any way always made me feel uncomfortable and i don't think i ever had friends who were the type that would be adventurous who i would like you know like my friends were like me like we didn't do anything so it was very like do you think with your kid yeah who will be in a world where weed's more more present sure don't you think you might want to try it so that when your kid tries it at 13 i i do in fact i made a tv pilot uh where i do things i've never done before for the first time so i'm more prepared as a father i love that and it was uh the the episodes were going to be swimming driving i haven't done a lot of things uh i'm sorry you can't swim i can't swim i can't drive i've never been on a roller coaster i've never done yoga i've never been to a strip club i've never smoked weed

i've never stand up is one of the few things i know how to do to be perfectly honest you're like me in that where i'm like oh yeah i'll learn that skill if we film it for a tv show it felt like i spent a lifetime preparing for this show like this was actually like like this was a method acting without me realizing it you know what i mean like so when they passed on the show it was like man now i'm gonna just do never learn how to swim there's no financial benefit in learning how to swim now what was the pilot what did you actually do swimming pilot swimming which was hard because like it was during covid still uh-huh and so like there was just limited amount of like places we could actually do it limited amount of

time there were so many restrictions we just we didn't have enough to do multiple days of swimming. So it's just one lesson of me floundering about. Did you learn? No. But let me ask this because when they train babies to swim, part of it, they just throw them in there and it's like nature takes over. There's lessons before that. They don't just

day one throw them in. No, they do. They just throw them in? Well well we actually had a lesson this is how much i wanted the show my nine month old we put him in the water with a swimming instructor to give him a swimming lesson so he wasn't just thrown in but he was placed in and you know they were he was trying to figure it out yeah yeah eventually they do do that though because i i've seen my, my niece, they,

when she was very young, like one, something after a few lessons, they do just throw them in and, but they have some like practice, like doing this kind of thing. As someone who's so always swum, it's,

it's hard to understand. It's one of those things where it's like, it's hard to understand not being able to do it. Cause I'm like, I'm not like one, two, three. I'm i'm just like you know my parents don't know how to swim it's not like they came from like a big swimming culture you know what i mean and so if you don't have that it's just like okay don't do it you're going to drown as opposed to the instinct being you have access to a way to prevent you from drowning if you're in this situation you should

learn this thing to avoid drowning. Their thinking was just avoid it altogether. Just don't be near water. Just fill yourself with enough fear that the thought of even being near a pool frightens you. And so they chose a different tact, which I am not planning to use with my child. How far did you get in your swimming lesson? I mean, I... Is that why the pilot didn't go?

Because you drowned at the end? They said, well, it can't be this. I mean, the pilot didn't go because... I know, there's all sorts of... It's just, it's always, I hate the thing when it's like, you know, our goals as a network change since we bought this. And I'm like, why didn't you tell me this

while I was making it? So I wouldn't have made it and scared myself to death. I mean, I do want to do these things. things i mean the things i'm most interested in doing obviously swimming because it's a life thing yeah driving how far did you get with the swimming it just floated a little bit with an instructor were you scared were you terrified it was awful that's fascinating i will say going underwater for split seconds like getting my head under was wonderful after a while uh-huh when you get used to the sensation you in a pool in a pool i'm like even though i'm just seeing the bottom of a pool it's like i'm under the water looking at stuff can you believe it yeah i mean i didn't

get that far is what i'm saying like it was pretty yeah um i watched i watched your new special yeah it's great thanks uh great promo what a great promo to get yeah hank's great are you you and hank like pals yeah yeah it's it's really nice actually we did a um an interview on npr's code switch not that long ago just kind of talking about the experience of what what happened after the documentary came out about apu and you know how what he experienced what i experienced and it was it was really nice It was like a thoughtful conversation. And he's really learned a lot from the experience. And he's really dedicated himself to doing like anti-racist work.

Can people see the documentary? Where can I see it now? HBO Max. HBO Max. I thought I saw parts of it. It finally got him to stop doing the Apu voice, which I appreciated very much. of it, it finally got him to stop doing the Apu voice,

which I appreciated very much. But do you still get hate mail from the documentary? Yeah, every week. It used to be multiple times a day, but it's every week. For those of us who haven't seen it, it was a huge thing. It's called The Problem with Apu.

It's a documentary about what it felt like to be South Asian, and your only representation this was like 90s, was Apu. You didn't get anything else so there's nothing to compare it that was it and initially how that felt kind of neat like we exist and then you realize that's the only way we exist yeah yeah so as a kid growing up in that era and as a Simpsons fan it was this weird like this is like my favorite show in the world but this character is causing me torment and did you think that from the beginning or was there like a what age what what age did you become aware of

of that feeling i'm probably when did i start seeing the show whenever the show came out i started watching so it's probably a couple of years in when you realize that oh i'm laughing at a poop but other people are laughing at me that's a big you know what i mean like i'm like oh this character is funny, but the idea of extending it to other human beings that are real, like, I never thought that was an option. And, you know, for me, like, again, if you don't exist, seeing something that vaguely,

even though it's a cartoon voiced by a white guy, just seeing something that exists that vaguely looks like you feels incredible. Yeah. Because you don't yeah because you don't exist you don't exist in the country there's no evidence that your people were ever here you know even growing up in queens you know where i see this community that's so diverse growing up at jackson heights and then i'm looking on tv and film and you start to realize the rest of the country doesn't seem to look the way it looks here yeah it was incredible and then after a while it's like no this is a prop to make fun of us like for sure and the simpsons was just such a rare show

that's been on for so long so it's like yeah there's a weird grandfathered thing it's the same with south park south park gets away with some wild shit sometimes where it's like well that's just what it was do right that's how long a show's been existing on the air i mean it's kind of what i say said about i said at the end of mean, it's kind of what I said about, I said at the end of the documentary, it's like, you have to treat the Simpsons like your old racist grandfather, like you love your grandfather,

you've had great memories with your grandfather, but they are who they are, and at a certain point, you just have to wait for them to die. And so I think that's kind of what this is. It's like, you know, this thing has gone on probably too long unless they develop more interesting characters.

I feel like there's an opportunity to develop all these characters, like a character like Apu, into something that's more contemporary. And, I mean, at the end of the day, I don't really care. Of course. Well, that's the thing. That's the weird part about it. That's what's so interesting about, like, the hate mail. It just became it became the like

focal point of like this is the whining of wokeness and the ruining of the things that are good and none of them saw the documentary and none of them like they're all and they're all saying the same things that are addressed in the documentary you don't say that about groundskeeper Willie that's addressed like there's all

this shit where it's like you didn't even watch it this is just like there's a template of what you're going to be angry about this shit where you didn't even watch it. This is just like, there's a template of what you're going to be angry about this week. And you've just slipped this into that. And I'm just kind of like dealing with it. Death threats. Cause I I'm interested in just the, I've talked a couple of times.

This is specifically on stage when I'm in, uh, Richmond or, or Alabama. Sure. And I tell, talk about guns and and and i i have anxiety and so now someone will leave during that section yeah and in my mind i if i have the thought they're going to get their gun yeah yeah which they didn't have on them for some reason they could have brought it in yeah and they're going to get the gun and they're going to shoot

me yeah and it's something i i have to it's like having a mini anxiety attack on stage that I have to calm down as I'm like entertaining. Was there any moment that you've been scared from all the death threats or really concerned about one in particular? Not one in particular, but when people started messaging venues and we had to get extra security at shows, like that was like, how real is this if they're actually beefing up security? We're not too worried, but we did get a couple of undercover cops or you know cops out of uniform and i'm like that seems like you're pretty worried yeah like and the venue pays for that yeah it's like security it's like you have to protect it didn't come out of my check you know but that's like yeah it's just it's just shitty i'm like this isn't fun and also like i don't want to die for that like to be martyred for something more important than a fucking cartoon character like the thing about it was like when i was doing the thing

the funny thing about the documentary is that the rage i showed in the documentary was kind of it was me having to feel old feelings of when i was a kid you know because like things have changed so much i didn't have that same like you know i didn't don't love the character but i didn't have that same anger you know because there's more important things and plus the apu thing is so old man like that's what's hard to imagine all of this is like people getting really upset you're like uh like the simpsons was so present growing up in the 90s i feel like and it is still on but it's wild to me that there's people that were coming around in the 90s watching it are still watching it a lot of people aren't

even watching or is it new people watching that's what that's what i'm like to do that mad about it it is complicated because i think it's a lot of people who whether they watch it or not uh like i said fits a template of this is what political correctness is then there's the simpsons fans who are very protective of it and are very upset about this and then actually the i think the biggest contingent is the global audience because most of the like the death threats i've gotten aren't in english they're from uh folks in southern and latin america It's often Spanish. When it got to Portuguese, I'm like,

okay, Brazil finally hates me. And I would have to translate these death threats. I'm like, oh, this is a death threat. Like this is, it's because the Sims, I have no idea if The Simpsons is subtitled. I don't know if it's dubbed, but whatever the context that they're watching it in is not the context that I have here.

Of course. So to them, it's like this guy's ruining a character i like and this show has maybe is still huge in other places where you know it's not like here it's like it's still this thing that brings a lot of money and a lot of people still love so you know to me it's like i pissed off more people than i ever expected to piss off um i also i think people have this assumption that like this is the most important thing to me and it was like literally a document of a period of time and an attempt to draw out something uh that we don't think about

like this is a bit of casual racism that still exists and had a context and this is what it was like growing up with it and this is what it's like now and see how things have changed. And racism is insidious. And this character was based on a Peter Sellers character that was racist, too. And how racism just finds a way to keep repeating itself. And like it was as nuanced as a true TV documentary could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The documentary I wanted was definitely I wasn't planning to be in it

like i wanted it to be more of a like clips of different images written some context interviews like my voice became the voice because i think they said like you have a strong comedic voice that needs to be in it for to make this work and so it kind of became uh something that was a lot simpler, more 101. Like I made a short film in 2009 called Manoge that's on YouTube right now that covers this issue like in a much more subtle and thoughtful and funny manner in 12 minutes than the doc. Sure. But the thing is, so it's old for me. It's not an interesting topic. Of course.

For me, the interesting part was making a thing. Yeah. What's like, just tell me, like, what's the last death message you got? Like, what did it say? Was it just like, fuck you, I'm going to kill you? It's probably something like that. It's not nearly as elaborate as the ones before. Does it slide off your back at this point?

Or do you get a tinge? I still get a little bit of a, this is annoying. If you got a death threat, I think that first death threat you're going to struggle with. I'd move, yeah. I mean, even people saying, like showing a picture of a bullet and like, you know,

wait for this at your next show. That's terrifying. And Facebook saying that it's like, that doesn't violate their terms because it's an image and not a word. That's a slur. So it doesn't. Really? Didn't violate their terms, no's an image and not a word that's a slur so it doesn't really didn't violate their terms no because i i was i went to uh parade on broadway i don't know

if you're familiar with uh parade but it's it's it's jewish it's about like a man leo bloom who was falsely accused um and they had metal detectors outside but you know it's like these metal detectors i don't trust them you know whatever they do security outside. But it's like, these metal detectors, I don't trust them. Whatever they do security for the venue, it's pretty minimal. And I got a little stoned before, and I had that creeping thought of just like, what if, what if, what if? And I feel like a lot of performers have to deal with anxiety if someone's going to kill them on stage.

We had a fight breakout in the audience at Titanic. I told you about it. Yeah. Recently. We have a security guard now. Really? Yeah. He's an off-Broadway show called Titanic. Every show that he has to be there now for that.

Does he seem like he's going to stop something? He does. I don't know. My interaction with him, he's very nice. What's his name? So don't put in too much work, security guard.

I'll just always remember when I was working at LOL, some guy was getting in my face and the security guard was making sure his girlfriend was signing the check. And that was the priority. That was very clearly the priority. Shout out to you, Kendall. haven't seen

you in a long time hope you're doing okay um yeah yeah so you got this kid how old's the kid now two and a half two and a half yeah wow yeah um you said in in the special you were talking about you saying uh what your child was gender wise assigned at birth that's how you kind of talked about it in the special I mean all children but I imagine it's easier in theory

than in practice to raise a child gender neutral in a gendered world I have a friend who is raising their child gender neutral and they themselves are non-binary and I don't know how they do it. It seems so difficult. And the reasoning they have is like,

I didn't have a choice and then I had to undo a ton of stuff after. So why don't I let them feel what they feel? And, you know, which is to me, it's like fascinating, but it's also incredibly hard thing to do because i don't know what the child's lived experience is like i don't know how people refer to them like how how do they negotiate what they know and have been raised with compared to what how the world treats them so i find it like i think it's a really difficult thing to do and i certainly

we chose not to so you chose, what did you choose? We chose to say that our child is a boy. Yeah. Because I think sometimes there's things where I'm like, in theory, that sounds nice, but I feel like the world would then treat them

in a way that is, it would polarize a lot of people right out the gate you're still putting something on you're putting them like non-binary exactly on them you are putting something that you're still putting something that in the world is dealt with in a certain way but i do understand some i do understand it it's like yeah for sure because it's like you're in one situation you're putting something you're you're giving at least when you're giving them the choice it does add that hardship potentially of like people wanting answers of what are you

but is that better than the feeling of this is not who i am and i'm sick of living this lie right yeah so it feels like between those choices that i you choices, with the experience that my friend has had, it makes sense. It's like, why would I force this kid to live a life they don't want to live? And if they want to choose something, it's a lot easier to go from not being gendered to have a gender to having a gender that's a sign that you no longer say is your gender. Like it's a lot harder to do what people currently do. Yeah. Right. Because if you slip into like, I'm a boy, people are going to accept that without issue. Sure. Yeah, sure. You talked about your parents on this on this special, especially your dad. Was that true? Your dad didn't say I love you until he was going into the operating room it's an exaggeration but it's

basically my father really really didn't until he had heart procedures like it's stents put in and stuff and then all of a sudden he got a lot more sentimental emotional that like that wasn't my dad from my childhood like he was very different once that happened a lot more hugs like i've never got a hug from my dad that wasn't a thing and he but he definitely got more uh in touch with that and more connected to you welcome it did it feel strange felt strange it felt strange i mean it's not like i didn't welcome it it was because it still is your dad but it's it was just like this is so this is different this is not what we do you know um we do now but like my dad and i we have a tough relationship and he's had some medical stuff and it's sometimes it's like it's like well

i guess our relationship's just going to be tough until you go into surgery and then we'll have a big deep moment together and we'll cry and hug and hopefully make it out so we have one more uh yeah we've oh he's italian yeah so we we we kiss more than my mom and I ever kissed. He hugs. Very, very intimate relationship. And I think even with all the bad blood between us or just the fighting and the disagreeing, we are always physically like hugs and kisses. But before the surgery, it's just, you know, it just feels like primal.

Is that the word I'm thinking? It just feels just very much like father, like Mufasa, like I love you. I mean, but at that point, everything else goes away. It's literally like life and death. All the other, any argument, any issue you've had, whatever's going on in your life, all that gets pushed to the side. And it's literally, will you still be here? And here and that you know that's a very intense feeling i think for him it feels like he he i think he got out of some of those situations realizing how much he like my kids my my wife this is everything you know yeah when you think about raising your kid do you in your head

do you go oh this is what my parents did that i don't want to do yeah yeah of course i mean there are certainly uh you know methods i i wouldn't apply you know the use of guilt or how did they guilt you uh is it's i'm trying to think of like a concrete example was it like grades was? Was it your behavior being a jerk? It was... Yes, they were never terrible with grades and stuff, but I'm trying to think of it. If you do this, then fine, go ahead.

Do whatever you're going to do. It doesn't matter. Sometimes my mom would say, you're going to do it doesn't matter sometimes my mom would say you're an American anyway you're an American so this is how Americans are and that was the insult don't call me an American

and I'm like I'm American by their choice they came here right but that's not the point it's still this sense of identity it's like taking away this is who you fundamentally are. But I guess you're not, you know, that is crappy. You know, that is a compliment. Don't you dare call me American.

And it's weird because outside the house, that's the only thing I wanted. CBA is American. But it separates you from them. Yeah, that way. Yeah. So it was yeah, it was a funny thing, you know, it separates you from them in that way. Yeah. So it was, yeah, it was a funny thing, you know, and that definitely echoed in my head, you know, when you're, especially when you're an adolescent and you're thinking about dating and stuff. And all of a sudden it's like dating wasn't a thing for them growing up. You know what I mean?

It was like there's a concept of love marriage. Like that's a marriage where you choose the person because you love them. Like that's the, you know, that's not the norm. You know, that's the out of love marriage. Like that's a marriage where you choose the person because you love them. Like that's the, uh, you know, that's, that's not the norm, you know,

that's the outlier. Yeah. So, you know, just that kind of compare what's American, what isn't, what India, what's Indian,

what isn't like a lot of that stuff looking at it now, I'm like, it doesn't even totally make sense. Cause they're viewing India in a certain lens. India is frozen to them to some degree. Really? Yeah, because they left, you know? So I go back and visit relatives and I meet my parents, friends, kids,

and I'm like, these kids are so much worse than we are. This is ridiculous. They're drinking and going out late. And I'm like, basically basically they left a certain version of conservative southern india years past things change new like media is introduced kids have different expectations like even like religious epics like we grew up studying like hindu epics and stuff and so i'm like fairly well versed in some of that religious stuff and i'd go and make a joke about it with like family friends kids and they would have no idea what the hell i was talking

about like what you didn't have to do this yeah because like to my parents they're still frozen and this is what a good kid does of this era this is how you behave these are the standards and the standards change but they didn't know because they were here. So with – I know nothing about Hinduism. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. Is there a weekly service for the – No.

Hinduism is a very – it's very loosely regulated. It's very – like, there is no... Okay, so my understanding is that there are these Vedic texts that were created by priests a long time ago. My brother is pretty convinced they were high on something. And a lot of that, like, a lot of the fundamental ideas in yoga and things like that, like, the self and all that comes from there. Then you have all these, like, traditions of... Just like, you know, how, how like there's pagan elements in Christianity that kind of morphed, you know, along with it, you know, like it's kind of like that.

So you'd have these different local gods of different animals and things like that. So now you're like you have this and you have that and now you have to find a way to combine them together. And so you create stories about like these are the central gods and this is how your local gods fit in and stuff like that was there a time do you remember a time in your life where you believed it fully yes of course yeah growing up yeah absolutely just have so many gods honestly seems more fun i remember a phase of like believing in one god but never did i like just have a multitude yeah hinduism you know marketed well, is really kid-friendly. Really? Your gods are like action figures.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, think about it. The elephants and monkeys, and they're all kind of personified. There are wars. I mean, the Hindu epics, if you watch like the um you know they get cut into miniseries like different generations have different means like it's incredible you're watching like monkey men and you know demons and so much of star wars i mean i think even george lucas talked about he took elements out of hinduism and you can see it like it's very clear

like even like in uh Do you all see the... Not the rise of... The fifth one, where Luke Skywalker dies? No, I'm not a big Star Wars boy, but do you see it? Yeah. You know how he's, like, he's basically, he's meditating and projecting his body elsewhere.

I mean, that's straight up out of, like, Hinduism. Like, a lot of this stuff, some of the names are, like, there's one character called Ashoka or something. That's an Indian name. Like there's tons of influence. Like Hinduism, you know, that's part of why I didn't buy into a lot of this stuff growing up, like Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

I got into it later. But part of me is like Hinduism is already that, plus people will die for it. Like Star Wars and Star trek fans aren't killing each other over who's right sure hindus and muslims are you know like you think this is toxic fandom right right right no idea have you tried religion yeah so you know but yeah i mean it was i mean i don't know if i want my kid to see some of it and i've debated with that a lot just because it's very violent you know all religions to some degree.

But like Hinduism, there's lots of beheading. There's lots of war. Of just the gods or of people too? Both. Because the myths are very, you know, that's a big part of it. Which when you watch some of the videos, the series from the 80s, it's funny because they had minimal technological advancements at that point. So it's like this is clearly a green screen because that person's head's cut off and it's at a very clean angle like it's a very and i can see some of the green screen like but you know it's very um

you know i i as it's funny because i still very much enjoy it as myth. You know, definitely I'm critical of it now and I see a lot of the misogyny in it. I see also how caste is used and, you know, the ideas of caste definitely certainly got kind of cemented because if you're telling these stories where Brahmins are the ones that are in power, like the Kshatriyas and the Brahmins,

like basically the warrior king, you know, royalty class and the class ofans like basically the warrior king you know royalty class and the class of of uh teachers and people who actually control the knowledge yeah you know that that gives you a lot of power right so you know again like it's this weird thing that's mixed with historic local customs these vedic texts um and different classes of people trying to take power. I mean, and all religions have elements of that. I mean, Christianity obviously has that with, you know, was it the King James Version

is the one that we all follow? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all been kind of worked on and changed, and Hinduism very much has that. Where were you born? In Queens. In Queens. Yeah, Flushing Hospital.

And how long had your family been in Queens? Mom got there in 81. I was born in 82. Dad got there in 77 or 78. So they were arranged after they were both here? No. Dad went back to India and married Mom, and then they both came over again together.

Did he come here to, like... Why did he come here before he was arranged? I mean, was it typical? You get arranged there, come here? There's no consistent, you know. But I think for him, his sister was over here, and the idea of more opportunity, just like a lot of immigrants,

and what could this country bring me? And, you know i i would love to hear more of dad's stories about growing not growing up but he was in his mid-20s living in the city when the city was the city you know when it was violent and when there was sex workers walking around this like the move i mean my dad always goes back when i was a kid, he'd be like Giuliani. He hated Giuliani because my dad, he's a little Italian. So he as if the mob meant something to me was like Giuliani busted up the mob. And he knows none of this. But like, I think he liked where Times Square was, sex workers and drugs.

And yeah. Oh, it was not a place to walk down unless you clearly had a mission. Like, it was very, the way it was described was like, this is, tourists were not going to go there if they were smart. That was not the place to go.

But isn't that still where Broadway was? Or was Broadway to the side? I've always been confused. No, it was still there. But I think Hell's Kitchen, like, I think Hell's Kitchen was really like, that was scary, scary. Yeah.

I think Broadway was still there because those theaters are old. Those theaters are like, from the 30s, 40s. But block to block, it's going to really like, that was scary, scary. But I think Broadway was still there because those theaters are old. Those theaters are like 30s, 40s. Block to block, it's going to be different, right? Four blocks in one direction, you avoid that and you stay here. But my dad worked at like Duane Reade Drugstore, I think might've been the original one on Duane and Reade Street.

Wow. I didn't know that it was just on the street called Duane and Reade. You didn't know that? No. At Duane Reade, yeah. Is it the one in Times Square? No, no, Duane Reade. The original one. I didn't know that it was just on the street called Dwayne and Reed you didn't know that? no Dwayne and Reed yeah is it the one in Times Square? no no

Dwayne and Reed the original one at that corner of Dwayne and Reed street downtown okay is the original Dwayne and Reed but he would tell me how like you know

he would because he never went out like he loves disco music and everything he listened to when he came to the country still like Donna Summer Laura Branigan you just go through like bgs like

he loves all that stuff and i asked him like did you ever go out you were like in your mid-20s like do you ever go out and and hang out and go to these places and he's like no but i would see people walk in to the store after they'd be they'd go and you'd see them all decked out and the music would be playing and stuff so his experience of it is so fascinating as like somebody from the outside observing this and you're the same age as these people that are going on and doing stuff, but you can't. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. He was working. He was just struggling. Yeah. Was Disco's just 70s or did it bleed into the 80s? My mom. It bled into the early 80s. And then there was a very like pushback to it.

Anti-Disco. Anti-Disco movement of like fuck disco you know like now when you look at some of that stuff it was like very like homophobic and yes yes yes very yeah and it's like it is definitely coded you watch old content and it was like disco like this weird thing of like discos lame discos gay basically is what they're oh i didn't know that's what i didn't I didn't know. I don't think they ever I thought it was just not liking toot toot. Yeah, that was some of it.

It's like any sort of thing that gets popular, you're like, there's great great disco music that then becomes like the pop, the most pop safe version of it that you feel like you've heard a million times. You know what I mean? But yeah, there was a big pushback and it definitely was a weird And it had like there was a big part of like big big

gay presence in disco like whether you're talking about like you know village people whether you're talking about like uh yeah donna summer uh donna summer or diana ross's i'm coming out like there's there's these grace jones oh grace like grace jones yeah yeah i all of that. It was a pushback against all of that culturally. That's why I think my dad liked it so much because he's not gay, but he's an effeminate man. Yeah, yeah. And I feel like he talks about John Travolta in, what's that movie? Saturday Night Fever. Saturday Night Fever.

Have you seen the movie? I've not seen it. The first half is like Saturday Night Fever, And the second half is one of the darkest fucking shit you've ever seen in your life. Do you know what happens? No. They basically, they,

they, they rape a woman in the backseat of a car and then she jumps off one of the bridges in New York City. John Travolta does? That's the Saturday Night Fever movie? I don't know if he's the one who does it or he's just like on the lookout, but like,

we're talking like, just on the lookout. People know that movie from John travolta's dance break scene and then i watched it and in high school i was like holy shit becomes one of the darkest movies you've ever seen oh my god astounding jesus all right that's my next documentary guys let's destroy another classic american thing but but now that makes sense why my dad would like it. Because I feel like he just, like he does the dances. And I'm like, he has more moves than, you know, just a casual parody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then your mom was a fucking doctor. Yeah, yeah. What kind of doctor? It was general practice, but she worked a lot with like women, like in smaller towns. She had her own practice um there weren't that many what my mom referred to as lady doctors so like their women wouldn't have like a person they could come especially in a conservative country like they could actually

go to to talk about their issues and so she she delivered babies she dealt with general issues did she consider herself like a a progressive a woman or was she super smart? Like how did this happen? She, I mean, she was aware that like this wasn't a thing. She was young. She was a woman. It was like a more conservative part of the country, very educated part of the country, but still like, you know, a woman being able to do all that. And also she was unmarried into her late 20s, which isn't a thing that really happened very often in that era like she was this career woman who like achieved all this stuff and was a hero

to so many people in her hometown because like look at but she was also really tall so she stood out regardless of whether she wanted to how tall is she she's she's by indian standards keep that in mind she's like five eight or five seven but she shrank a little bit but by indian standards a woman that's like five eight five nine is a big bit. But by Indian standards, a woman that's like 5'8, 5'9 is a big woman. No one's that big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's like she's this woman. She like stands out.

She's educated. Like she's a doctor. You know, she also used to do classic South Indian dance. And people knew about her dancing as well. She sounds like a badass. She was, you know, and she is. But like, you know, when she got married, she lost a lot in that trade, you know. did she ever say like why she made that trade i mean it was an

arranged marriage so it's not like she was like right but there was i mean she had choice you always have choice yeah i think it's um expectation you know it it's very much like you're a certain age it looks bad for a girl that age to not be married and it wasn't her pressure as much as like family pressure and um my mom was always has always been someone who's um has valued the idea of duty like this is your responsibility and to a point where i'm like like i'm grateful to exist, but I kind of, yeah. She's a very, yeah, she's a fascinating human being. And her life is, it's very, depending on which phase of it, just totally different stories.

Like I hear the stories about when she first came to America and how she saw the world never seeing snow and the people she met. came to america and how she saw the world never seeing snow and the people she met the way she describes the people she met is so incredible because they were a wide range of humanity many different races many different people all that were kind to her a lot of different immigrant groups that all like gave her information and taught her what to do she said there was an old guy i think he was either irish or italian and she met him at the library so she was probably in her late 20s and he was probably in his 50s or 60s and they'd go to the. And she met him at the library. So she was probably in her late 20s, and he was probably in his 50s or 60s. And they'd go to the library. She'd meet him at the library.

And then they'd go to a bar. She'd have coffee. He'd have whiskey or something. And he'd basically lay out what this country is, go over, like, so there was a civil rights movement. And then this happened, and this happened, and this is something you should know about the country. And just filling her with the information of, like, this is what you missed. And it was like I hear these stories i'm like this is beautiful there's a lot of stories like that about people who like as immigrants even though they weren't indian like

or were three generations removed from immigration who just immediately stepped up and connected and like it's so beautiful man people don't see that part of it but that's it's beautiful that's fascinating yeah queens has a lot of that still i think but that's i mean look man when people are talking about like in other parts of the country what they're afraid of they're just describing new york they're describing everyone growing up together and speaking many different languages and many different religions and you're just surrounded by everything that's what they're talking about and it's it's as i've gotten older i've realized how lucky i was to grow up here because my god like so beautiful what i was able to take in and i hope my kid gets a lot of that too

yeah it's tough i mean new york's there's where I'm like, why do I live in this fucking city? And then there's times I'm like, oh, because. Yeah. You can't ignore and you can't go on autopilot. There's a thing where the broad spectrum of humanity is on full display 24-7. Yeah. Where you'll be like at the same moment having this great day personally, professionally, whatever. Yeah. And then see something that's truly like, wow, that is difficult to see, difficult to blah, blah, blah.

Everyone rides the subway. And you have to deal with it. You have to process it. There's an ability in other communities, other places of the country where you can ignore huge spectrums of this humanity that we are a part of. And that's what people ultimately want they want to be able to ignore it they want to not have to deal with it and i love new york because you can't ignore it you have to even if you're not dealing with it in a way that's helpful of thing you have to emotionally deal with it and come to term in your head and that's something

that that i think is why i love it because i'm like there is parts it's just a terrifying thing to be like no i don't want to have to deal with that i don't have to process that so i will shut it out i will pretend that doesn't exist that's what is that's what a lot of places want you know except what it is you've you're doing in the i think of it maybe not the best metaphor but but like when we don't deal with uh having kill animals to eat animals, it's like out of sight, out of mind. And so we get to live in this world where we don't actually know how the world's working. We don't understand how it's functioning. And it's the same thing with capitalism.

I just feel like when you're here in New York, you're seeing what – if this is the world we're going to live in, this is exactly the results. The stratification. Yes. Yeah. exactly the results. The stratification. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gentrification. Who gets new buildings? Who doesn't?

That's why every politician should be riding the subway. I know it's at least New York. New York. Because I know security wise it wouldn't work. Yeah. That's the other thing about New York. They would get stabbed. That's the other part of it.

Like in theory that makes sense. But the other side of New York is, you know. That's why they should part of it. In theory, that makes sense. But the other side of New York is... That's why they should be writing it. People will let you know how they feel one way or the other here. Yeah. So you tell a story towards the end of your special. I hope it's okay to speak. Go ahead.

Where basically AOC wrote you early on in her political career to collaborate yeah when she was running for office the first time which people we all we all get messages for things all the time i don't do but i also for me honestly sometimes i i'm like in my mind i'm like i i don't want to work with politicians in general because I'm just not sure. I don't feel I'm intelligent enough to know when I'm being bamboozled. For me, I was on board because she was representing Jackson Heights, which is where I grew up for a while. I read her website. It was like her points of view completely aligned.

She was a woman of color running. view completely aligned she was a woman of color running like you know i did i actually like looked up like oh this is incredible and still chose not to because i was trying to make a documentary about a cartoon character and just didn't have the time yeah while working on a netflix special i was shooting later that year and so with that in mind i like it turned down and then ignored the most influential important politician i would I would argue, the last decade. You know, in hindsight, it was a mistake. Even if even if she had lost, it was a mistake. But winning really, really makes it makes you feel it.

But she she I saw on Twitter. She she saw it. She saw it. She's aware. Acknowledged it. Apollo accepted my apology, essentially. She saw it. She saw it. She's aware. Acknowledged it. Accepted my apology, essentially. And she said she's actually collaborating with John Mulaney now.

Oh, God. It's fine. It's okay. I got in touch with Huston right after. And everything is just... I got the bigger fish anyway. But, yeah, I mean, she was very graceful about that. Because, honestly, every time I told that that story even during the taping felt incredible because the audience loved it they'd lose their minds over it because it's such an absurd story yeah and every time i get off stage

i would feel like shit it always felt like i still can't believe i did that so her actually messaging us going back and forth was closure. It was nice. That's good. Yeah. Oh, I had one more thing. Oh, have you still never performed at the Comedy Cellar? Yeah, I still haven't performed at the Comedy Cellar.

What the fuck? That's weird. How did you know? Did I tell you about that? No, no. Yeah, when we met at NYU, we had a real heart-to-heart about it. That's what I was wondering. We had a big conversation. No, I listened to your Marc Maron episode to prep for this.

I'm weird about that. The number of people that said they would vouch, Chris Rock said he'd vouch for me. It's not like I don't have people that would vouch and say he would do it. It's just when I was younger, that was comedy to me. It was the comedy seller. It was seeing Greg Giraldo and Mar and tom papa and uh jim gaffigan and just go down the list of every heavy hitter of the era patrice you know they were all on those

lineups what what era what years we're talking like you were 99 2004 roughly that kind of yeah and it was just just what was the seller back there was it just mcdougall it was just mcdougall okay and it believe it or not like it would we would go on off nights like tuesdays or wednesdays and they couldn't fill it so what they would do is that you get a coupon online and you know if you i think they would let 18 year olds in and you buy two sodas and it's a free show and so that it was like they were that's so cool so i got to see people work out material which was incredible because that's not what tv is you actually see things not work and how they'd fix it the next time you saw them yeah yeah it was incredible so i i put it on such a level you know uh where i've you know i've done a fair number of

things in my career that i'm proud of. I've traveled all over the world. I've definitely performed in bigger venues. But that was the one that always made me anxious, even though it's just a comedy club. And now it's funny because now it's not as big a deal because there's four venues. Sure. Almost everybody I know. I work there.

Everyone I know has been past there. All of a sudden, I don't mean to be insulting, but the prestige of who was playing there before versus like, you're talking about these people I looked up to, and now it's like, oh, everybody. Well, you're fully in that world now too. There's a thing where, yeah, yeah, yeah, where, yes, yeah. I do want to do it at least once to say I did it at least once, you know.

And also, it's a beautiful venue venue it's like the comedy club it's it's perfectly built for stand-up like do those is have you been to the mcdougall yeah yeah not tall ceilings good views everywhere you sit like just great venue like yeah like i remember they used to put us in the front though me and my other it was three brown kids sitting right in the front row and initially i was like oh it's so cool we got the front and then you're like oh now vos needs a target oh yeah yeah this is this is also let's give people some fodder you know what would they what would they say it varied pre and post 9-11 to be perfectly there were different things. So pre-9-11, what was it? Kevin Brennan mooed at me once, I remember.

Because I'm a Hindu and they're like cows there. Moo! I remember them like that. Real A to B thinking. It was, you know, and again, that was a time where like, that was seen as really funny. You remember, this is like when, because there was no, how many South Asians were there? So the minimal you knew you could apply and that was it.

Sure. Sure. And for us, I'm like, that shit's corny and nobody knows it's corny. Uh huh. Uh huh. Um,

you know, and, and, you know, the terrorist jokes and shit like that. I remember I was doing live at Gotham, uh, in 2000 andam in 2007.

Is that right? No, 2008. And I was in London. I was getting my master's in London. I'd flown back, hadn't done stand-up in like six months at that point. Relearned my act.

I'm like, okay, I guess they still like me. I'd been on Kimmel right before I went to grad school. So I'm like, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to do comedy. This seemed like such a far-fetched idea. And before I went to grad school. So I'm like, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to do comedy. Like, this seemed like such a far-fetched idea.

And then when the second TV thing came, I'm like, I guess this is real. And so Rich Voss was hosting. And I went up. And they sat my brother in the front row. In the front row. Dead center in front of me. Hell. And it was, he looked looked terrible he hadn't gotten a

haircut it's just his hair was why he roasted your brother you're like moo Voss was going after him all night not knowing who he was oh yeah but my brother is also like a maniac he'll just play right off so Voss said something about him being a terrorist or something like your standard issue so my brother opened up his jacket as if there was a dynamite underneath and pretended that it exploded so he's like and Voss moved on to somebody possibly that took the wrong. This guy is, my brother's not gonna, my brother's also much funnier than I am.

Like he's just, he's so, yeah. Did that work with the audience? Did they laugh or were they like? I think they were like, what the fuck is going on? This is a TV tape.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for him. But he doesn't give a shit. I mean, that's the thing. He's, if he wanted to do standup, he could have,

because he just, his just so quick, so smart, so funny, more well read. Like a lot of times when I write certain jokes, I think about his voice. Yeah. Just because, you know, I could imagine his delivery. He's what does he do instead? Everything like he had a show on HBO last year called Chillin Island. Damn.

He he was in a rap group called Das Racist that was popular maybe like a decade ago. He dabbles a little in modern art and so he's at exhibits at the Guggenheim and the Whitney. Jesus Christ. Just fucking around making kind of

things. He's got a new show where he does things for the first time to prepare for his son. I'm like busting my ass trying to get that show on air and and this all of a sudden he's like yeah remember those uh tv things we shot for spotify spotify doesn't want them anymore so they sold them to hbo so we're on hbo now i'm like me spending all these years just working, just working. And he stumbled into one. But he kind of does everything and he's good at almost everything. And he just has his hands in everything. He just produced a film, co-produced a film that has Sandy Hon honig and her brother sure that played south mind apparently did really well i think pennies from heaven i think that's what it's called um so he kind of

he kind of does everything like he's is that tough is that tough having a brother that you're that they feels like oh he could do stand up i just wish more people appreciated how brilliant he was you know he's nice you know it's funny sometimes people will try to pin pin us against each other by saying like yeah your brother's funnier than you does that make you feel bad and i'm like i know he's funnier than i am like i tell people he's funnier than i am there's no doubt he's funnier than i am like there's nothing that's gonna make me actually feel bad about my brother being successful and good at something like it. His success is absolutely my success.

And so I just want people to know how incredible he is. If your brother could do better characters than you, would you be like, cool? It's so hard to imagine. It's so hard to imagine my quiet, quiet lawyer brother doing characters. But yeah, actually, right now, it'd be great if right now he did a career pivot and started getting into characters instead of being a lawyer. That would be great. Let's go to our next segment.

This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Hari, do you have a this has got to stop? I have a few options. You tell me which one you want me to do. Just go. Just we'll see. We'll do we'll do one or two.

OK. Just we'll see. We'll do one or two. Okay. Okay. I'm sick of people asking me to make a silly face in photos after shows. I don't like it. I just gave you an hour of thoughtful commentary on the world, a very personal, thoughtful material, and afterwards you take a picture with me and you're like, can you do one with a silly face? I'm like, seriously?

You think that's funny? You think that's, I just did this for you and I could have just been a fucking clown making silly faces? Yeah. How dare you? It's what, do you, do you say no? I said yes in the beginning and then I'm like. What's your go-to? Cause here's mine.

This is embarrassing, but like if they want something, just go like yeah that's mine too yeah yeah an easy one beers yeah similar i'd be like you know like that yeah yeah that's a silly thing what i do sometimes i'll fake that and then i do just let them know like this one bit. So that is definitely, it just feels like, come on. You get your picture, which is basically your social capital for Instagram, and you get to see a show that you liked. Why do you want more? Why are you asking more of me? Why are you trying to make me look foolish?

Debbie Downsiders, our listeners, when they come to a show, I try to get them to do thumbs down looking sad. But then immediately after, they're like, okay, I try to get them to do thumbs down looking sad. Yeah. But then immediately after like, they're like, okay, can we get like a fun one now? Yeah. Yeah. For the people who don't listen to the podcast.

Yeah. They're confused. You're just for the community being like bad. Can I give you another one? Go for it. Uh, I don't like paying adult tickets for my two and a half year old child on airplanes.

I think it's absurd that they're a lap child at two. As soon as they're two years one day, gotta pay a full price ticket. Kid doesn't even fit in the seat. Okay, I agree with this with a caveat. Okay, so they sit on your lap

up to two. That's disallowed. They don't even have a ticket. You just hold them and it's like it's overhead. Yeah. I agree. I don't even have a ticket. You just hold them and go. It's like it's overhead. Yeah. I agree. I don't like seeing kids, babies in first class. Because I go, you would be comfortable in my chair. You'd be roomy in my chair.

But then their parents have to sit. Then they're just alone back there. roomy in my chair. But then their parents have to sit, then they're just alone back there? The airline system is not prepared to deal with the complexities of human nature at all. It is much easier with a nanny. We have gotten upgraded

to first. It is better for the kid because he has more room. It's not as cramped. It's just an easier setup having one recently i just had one recently where i walked by first class and there were eight kids their little legs dangling in this gigantic first class chair and i'm like something is something's wrong here you

could fit in the overhead we're being honest i agree, but also the logistics of what if their parents could sit up there and they're going to sit back there? You're begging for a kid to go missing. Also, the parents are fucking exhausted and just want their kid to go to sleep. And if you have more room, the kid will tire himself out. When there's no space, my kid just wants to run up and down the aisles he has a lot of energy and it drives us nuts but we i want him to chill out play a little bit pass out through the rest of the flight and that's good for everybody so but you want your kid's seat on the plane to cost what's fair for you a discounted fare. My kids, maybe like $2 to $10, they pay a third price. $10 to $14, they pay half price.

And then $14 up, it's full price. Or we can even lower that. I don't think a two-year-old or a three-year-old should pay a full price ticket. It's absurd. They should be given a discount. It's absurd. What do you think, Russell? It's hard.

I think that it's a chair. A chair's a chair. But I don't have kids. I know if I had to pay for any... If I had to imagine paying a ticket for my dog on that plane, no way. I get this as someone

who didn't have a kid three years ago, but it is hard being a parent. You could say, well, it's your choice you chose to become parents i'm like yeah everybody's parents chose to be parents in some way or another there's a kid that's there this is a societal thing you have to do you have to be good to parents because it's fucking hard and yeah they should be should be get given discounts we're creating humanity if the kid goes on killing somebody who gets the fucking blame the parents do but but that we're good with uh the parents the fucking what did they do oh they must have not disciplined him enough uh they let

him they they didn't even pay attention when he snuck out and bought a bunch of guns and hid them and then shot up a school we we get the fucking blame for that? Sure, but if we find out that the kid that shot up the school also got discounted airplane tickets his whole life, that's going to piss us off even more. I think all plane tickets are too much. We had my friend Liam Nelson on and he's seven feet tall

and has bar fans and you know, so his body is in pain and there's amazing. There's really nothing handicap-wise helping him out at all, at all. I cannot imagine what he has to go through to fly on a plane because for me... That's awful, yeah.

So it's... Because, I mean, even the emergency exit seats are not going to be enough room if you're that tall and also in that much pain. It's not that much more leg room. What if there was an airline that was just for parents and kids? Yeah, I mean, it would be painful

for the flight attendants, but if they're trained for that... They get paid extra or whatever? Yeah, I think that'd be great, man. I think that works for everybody. I think a lot of people would pay, oh, 5% more on my ticket to guarantee there's no kids on this flight.

I think that's true. I think we'd pay that amount, and that amount goes to pay that. I'm not against that. Hey, let's do it. You got one more? Yes, let's see. Let me finish down here. What's wrong?

You're nothing. I don't like, You guys make the call. I got the airport security industrial complex and people saying after my shows, that was pretty good. I like the pretty good one. Yeah. I just did an hour of comedy

and you come up to me and you say, hey man, that was pretty good. Pretty good? It's the pretty. it's the pretty adding the pretty in there yeah it's like it's like why were you skeptical you came you bought a ticket what throwing the pretty in there they're like wow i'm surprised pretty good also who the fuck are you yeah who the fuck like are you like like it usually sometimes it sometimes gets preceded by, I didn't know who you were before I came to the show. But that was pretty good.

Are you the president of Hollywood? Who are you to tell me? My least favorite people go, that was actually funny. You're actually really funny. And I go like, so how did you perceive me before all of this? I like that better, though. You like that better? Yeah, because it's saying like, comedy, I just didn't think I would appreciate.

Yeah, it could be interpreted. This is great. You were pretty good. It's like, I sat through it. It wasn't the greatest thing, but it was pretty good. It was pretty good. It was all right. I would pay $5 less, but it was pretty good.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. I don't like that. You just don't say anything. Now you want a picture with me making a silly face? That makes it worth it?

Now I smile and it's all worth it now, isn't it? Yeah. You know what? You're really good. Look at that face you made. Let's go on to our final segment.

You better count your blessing You better count your blessing Something, something we're thankful for I'll start this off I'll start You want one? Go for it, buddy I'll go

So I see it's called the Orchard Barbershop It's where I get my beard trimmed I got it's called the Orchard Barbershop. That's where I get my beer trimmed. I got it trimmed yesterday. A great guy named Boris, very Jewish. So Jewish, he didn't know what a JCC was, which is a Jewish community center. And I'm like, I guess that's like too mainstream, I guess, a JCC.

And he did the thing. He has whiskey there there this is what they do at barbershops they have like do you want whiskey whiskey or beer and he offered it to me and and i was like sure why not and boy was i drunk at 12 30 in the middle of the day with this double shot of whiskey that he poured me and also he took it too he drank it too and i was like maybe after you trim my delicate hairs yeah with that big razor in your hand but great great barber always treats me well he's got another kid on the way apparently so go please support him oh uh because you know i'm not tipping so go that's not true i tip very nicely uh i love a beard trim feels good i think they should offer shots like when you go to get the MRI. Why are we doing? I don't need the shot for the bar.

I'm about to get like a moisturizer and beautiful thing. Give me shots at other places. Wouldn't that be great if the doctor said that? Before we discuss how much calcium is in your fucking artery, let's give you a shot to cool it down. There might be some kind of licensing issue with that, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah.

There's no way these barbershops have a like... I shouldn't get my name wrong. Russell, what's your blessing? My blessing is our dear friend, Douglas Goodheart. I'm excited. His wedding is tonight. Yeah, the ceremony already happened. They spared us vows, blah, blah, blah. And ceremony already happened. They spared us. Celebration is tonight.

And I'm excited. We're all going to while my friends will be there. I'm very excited for him. And also just a small thing he got me out of having to do my show tonight. That's a nice little... He got you out of it? Because I'm going to his thing.

Oh, sure. I thought he called in a bomb threat or something. So I just shout out to dougie boy who i'm uh very grateful for and excited to celebrate tonight shout out to all the debbie downsiders who bought tickets to the show titanic to see your favorite podcast co-host tonight he will not be there i will not be there uh do you have a blessing for us i mean i spent so much time writing things i hated i forgot to think about things i love give me a second. Yeah, go ahead. Here's what we'll do right now. Oh, wait, I got it.

I'll go for it. I'm really grateful for Spindrift sparkling water, particularly the mango orange flavor. The idea that they were able to create such great taste with only 12 calories is spectacular. Also, I feel like mangoes are the greatest things in the world and they're not appreciated enough. So for a mainstream company like Spindrift to offer a mango option, though I would prefer without the orange, is fantastic.

I don't know why people do that. I wonder if that's because they're like, oh, we'll soften it. We'll add an orange. I don't. Maybe people can handle mangoes in this country. Because if they had this in South Asia, it would certainly just be mango. Like, why? You need a chaser? You need an orange

chaser? Is that what's going on? Hey, I love mango. You're preaching to the mango choir here. That's something I absolutely mean. Spindrift orange. Do you get sponsorship? Not yet, but I would love a Spindrift. They just made that free. Oh my god. And then real quick, we do this new thing

now with the patrons. We're going to have you're a member of the Patreon. We're going to have – you're a member of the Patreon. We're going to put your names on the screen right now while I tell a street joke. Unless, do you know a street joke that you really like to tell? Let me think about one, and you go first. Okay, I'll say a short one in case you come up with them. Russell, feel free anytime. I know you hate street jokes.

You don't have an admiration for my craft. I can't promise this is good. Didn't verify it. A little girl's in school taking a true-false test, and she's flipping a coin. At the end of the test, she's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, what are you doing? She says, checking my answers.

One come to mind? Straight from the street. I'm thinking of a Paul Mooney joke that sounds like a street joke. I love a good Paul Mooney joke that sounds like a street joke. I love a good Paul Mooney joke. I'm trying to see if I can get it right because I feel like I'd be doing everybody a disservice.

Okay, I'll do one more. Goldberger says to his wife, I'm going to shoot my jizz in your ear. Oh my God. She says, no, don't. I might go deaf. He says, I doubt it. I'm always unloading in your mouth

and you never shut the fuck up that one's from the street that's okay i think i got i think i got one uh all right this is this is i think a paul mooney joke that sounds like a street joke i'm not sure if it is but it sounds like he's like a little white boy covers his face in chocolate and goes up to his mommy and says, Mommy, I want to be a black person. And she slaps him and says, don't ever say that again. And he goes up to his daddy and says, I want to be I want to be black. And then he slaps him. And then he goes up to his grandfather's like, Granddad, I want to be black. And then he slaps him. And then the parents go up to him like, what did you learn?

It's like I learned that I've been black for 15 minutes. I already hate you white people. I've heard that one before. I've heard that one with the N-word in it. Oh, my God. I imagine Paul. Yeah, I think he probably did. You told me that one.

Shut the fuck up. It's like perfectly structured. It's like set up like a street joke, and it's also Mooney's voice. It's a beautiful joke. Yeah. Russell, where can people find you? At Russell J. Daniels. Come see Titanic at the Daryl Roth Theater.

If you're interested in seeing it, send me a DM, and I will help you out with a little promo code. Yes. I'm going to go see it with my producer page. I can't wait. How are you working? People find you at Harry Kondabolu on all the socials, which means you're going to have to Google H-A-R-I and the word comedy.

And then it'll show you because there's no way you're going to figure out Harry Kondabolu. I have a special vacation baby that is available for free on YouTube and a longer version on Bandcamp. It's an album that has a different edit that's 25 minutes longer. Ooh. And it's called Extended Vacation Baby. Oh.

So that one costs money. So no pressure, though. I do have a small child. But no pressure to anybody. You can find me everywhere at JomarcusRaisy. Join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. Also, real quick, we're going to try a new segment with me and Russell. Yes.

If you've got a family fight, fight with a friend, but mostly with a family, some kind of squabble. Looking for advice. Looking for advice on how to deal with it. Who's in the right? How to deal? Russell comes from a happy, healthy family, as you know me i do not uh email it to either message one of us on instagram or write the downside wgs at gmail.com it will be in the notes as well and um um um yeah i like

to end on something a little bit negative a little bit sad a little bit uh brutal so uh fuck you do this ending is fucking brutal this is the downside negative, a little bit sad, a little bit brutal. So fuck. This ending is fucking brutal. This is The Downside. You're listening to The Downside with Gianmarco Ceresi.