The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #156 Gay Famous with Joel Kim Booster

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

Joel Kim Booster joins us for a special live recording of the podcast at Just For Laughs Montreal to discuss why Gianmarco should be charging more for feet pics, salt and pepper shaker boyfriends, growing up homeschooled in a religious household, and why o*gies aren’t as fun when you’re a gay icon. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Joel on Instagram & Twitter See Joel in a city near you: https://linktr.ee/ihatejoelkim Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on September 11 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi-live-podcast-recording-tickets-676154224487 Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain. From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the buzziest films at Sundance Film Festival, A Real Pain. Written, directed, and starring Oscar nominee Jesse Eisenberg alongside Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin. Witness a hilarious and moving story about two mismatched cousins as they tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Hello, Debbie Downsiders. This is Gianmarco Cerezi. And this episode, a little bit of a treat. I recorded an episode at Just for Laughs in Montreal. Russell Daniels flew all the way out just for the recording. And our guest was fantastic.

Stand-up comedian, actor, writer, Joel Kim Booster. And normally, here's the deal. We record about one live episode a month. Normally, we just put it on the Patreon. We put out a little excerpt on the main feed here. But when you get Joel, you got to put it on the Patreon. We put out a little excerpt on the main feed here. But when you get Joel, you got to put it out there. So this is the full thing, our episode with Joel Kim Booster.

But, you know, if you want to support the podcast, if you want access to all our old live episodes, we had some great ones, the downside of being a veterinarian, the downside of being an independent wrestler. And our future live episodes, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. You also get bonus episodes, little special goodies Russell and I are going to do.

We got merch that we're working on. I know I've been saying that for a while, but we are working on it. We're threading the shirts as we speak, as I speak. And you also can watch my comedy special, The Rats Are In Me. It was a clean comedy special I recorded for that sweet Christian channel on SiriusXM money. But yeah, enjoy. Link to the Patreon in the comments. If you want to see me perform, there's a link to the patreon in the comments if you want to if you want to see me uh perform

i also there's a link to my uh email list you join that and you put in your city or your zip code or whatever and uh you you can get an email when i'm coming to your city but otherwise thank you for listening share with your friends follow follow tell the guests when you like a guest write them oh i loved on the downside when you laughed at Joe Marco's joke. That was a great laugh. It gets them to share it, and then it just spreads the good word so we can finally get some fucking advertisements. Thank you for listening. This is The Downside.

Would you please welcome to the stage Joel Kim Booster, Russell Daniels, and John Marco Cerezi! Coming out, just for laughs. Russell, how you doing? Good. Oh, good. Oh, how are you doing? Good. Good. Oh, great. Good. Great start.

We were going to have Russell's stage left, and it all went to chaos the second we came up. No, it's fine. No, no, this is good. This is good. Okay. Hi, everyone. How are you doing? So I know, listen, Suneyes with Live podcast.

Round of applause if you've listened to The Downside before. Okay, good. Okay, good, good. Thank you. I have stickers. I've listened to The Downside before. Okay, good. Thank you. I have stickers. I'm supposed to get free stickers. It's in the hotel room. I'm here with Russell. Came all the way from New York City. Just for today. And your room's across

from mine. So it's been loud. Tough getting sleep across from Russell. It's true. You're just like, come on my stomach. No, no, no. And we are here with our special guest. Please, big round of applause. Joel Cambusta, everybody. Hello.

Thank you for being here. Is it on? I think they're on. They're just maybe a little low. Thank you. There we go. As long as you can hear me, that's fine. Yes, we can hear you. Well, thank you. Thank you for coming. We're very happy a little low. Yeah. Thank you. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as you can hear me, that's fine. Yes, we can hear you. Okay, amazing.

Well, thank you. Thank you for coming. Of course. We're very happy to have you. Thanks for having me. I did New Faces last year. When did you do New Faces? Oh, God.

Why would you do this? I did New Faces when I was, it's 2016. So very old face now. But yeah, great memories. Yes. So I did New Faces last year. Pete Holmes was hosting it, and I was in the second show,

and so he comes out, he gave everyone a speech. Everyone's nervous, and he was like, you're going to be great. This is great. Everyone's rooting for you, and then he pulled the second group aside.

I was in the second group. He's like, just so you guys know, second show is usually way better, and we were like, okay, thanks, Pete. And he does the first show. It was hot. It sounded like a great show. Then they start the second show.

Pete does his set. He comes back and he goes, they are tired. They are. They are really tired. And thank God. Thank God it went okay. But for those of you who have not listened to The Downside,

this is a place where we're allowed to be negative. We don't have to be grateful for being at JFL. We can complain that the travel stipend was not enough to get here. That's what this show is. Yeah. And we'll get to you in a second. But I wanted to share. and we'll get to you in a second,

but I wanted to share, I, I, I've, I've been, uh, some, so,

so there's a guy who's, who's, who asked me for feet pics a while ago and, uh, for, for money. Yeah. He said he'd give me money. I assumed.

I assumed. Yeah. Uh, and I was like, I said, no, that's okay. But I wasn't sure.

Cause I don't care about my feet. Right. I wear, I put it on, on Instagram, whatever. But I have't sure because I don't care about my feet. Right. I wear it. I put it on Instagram, whatever. But I have a girlfriend now, and it was just like something I wanted to run by. And it went away. But then it came back.

And I was like, you know what? I really would like a pedicure. Is he sending you other messages in between? Like, I like this video. Nice complimentary comedy. Great crowd work clip. I'd love those feet pics again. Yeah, okay, okay. No, it was just feet.

I don't even know if he knows my work. How did he find out about your feet, by the way? Yeah. Because on the podcast, he usually like sit like, you know, like this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is wrong with feet? I really am, I'm feeling the,

I will pay you to put them away, honestly. Whenever I see those pictures of people complaining, like on the airport, someone has their foot like here, I'm always like, on the airport, someone has their foot, like, here. I'm always like, what's so wrong with that? That is you, yeah. So I decided I was like, okay, if I could get enough money. How much?

To pay for, I think it's $60 for feet pics. Hold up, hold up, stop. Stop. What is it worth? They're worth nothing. I don't know. I'm shocked. Because I don't even have, I don't have, like, I don't know what a sexy foot is to someone

who's into feet, but it cannot be my foot. I have nine and a half size. What size are your feet? I'm a nine. Yeah, yeah. You're a nine? You're. I'm 15.

I can get way more than 60 bucks for my feet. But that's what I don't know. I don't know if in the feet world it's like, do big feet matter? Yeah, I don't know. Or is it like, no, for some people, big feet hurt. I don't know the rules. They like little doll feet sometimes.

Sure. So it was like, I think 60. Wait, he said 60 or you suggested 60? I think he offered 50 or 60 and then he's like, if that's not enough, let me know. And so I decided, and here's an ethical thing. I honestly I was almost about to lie, but this

that's not the show. I was like, should I say it costs more so I can pay for my girlfriend to get a pedicure too and then she'll be okay with it? Ooh. Yes? Okay, good. I just wanted to figure out the morality of the room,

and now that we've found it, that's exactly what I did. Okay. So, yeah, it basically paid, not fully. My girlfriend, she says I didn't cover the full. We both got pedicures. And then she helped me take the pictures, and she got into it. I mean, like, I was like, I just took it,

and she was like, no, no, no, separate these toes. Separate the toes? But I didn't even know the angle. I don't know what it's like. You should have asked him. What he wanted. I think he said

one from the top, one from the bottom, and then I think I threw in another one just to be nice. I did a little cross one. And then now he wants to buy me sandals too. He said, can I buy you sandals? And I'm just like, how far? This can't go on forever.

Birkenstocks are not cheap. Birkenstocks are not cheap. You could do way better than whatever this bullshit is on your feet right now. I don't know what. They're not cheap. You could do way better than whatever this bullshit is on your feet right now. But you must have, your feet must be on that celeb feet. Yeah, I'm on wiki feet. And I got to tell you, my score is low.

It is like way lower than you would think it is. I'm getting to the point where now I almost want to like plant pictures on my Instagram feed so that the rating will go up a little higher. Yeah. But there are comments the arch is not great. Yeah, I just, I have flat feet. So that, and

apparently you have great arches, so. I guess so. I want to talk to, you know what, we need to have a guest who is in defeat because I have so many, I just like, is it, do you go to the beach and you're hard the whole time do you there's a sandal like oh you slut

yeah like oh just oh you're so close do you need to see the whole feet is it about the crevices I see my thing is like I am just I'm not even disgusted just by other people's feet like I don't even like it when people are into my feet like I had a situation where I was like this guy, and

he put my foot in his mouth, and I went, no, no, no, no. Not that. I don't like this. You did not get permission. Consent is cute. I almost shut it all down in that moment. It was such a turn off to me.

I was like, well, you can't put your mouth on my mouth now. I know where it's been, and I know where the feet have been. It was such a turn off to me. I was like, well, you can't put your mouth on my mouth now. I know where it's been. And I know where the feet have been. Sure. It was really rough. It's probably the dirtiest part of the body. Yeah, it's got to be, right?

Yeah. Maybe that might be part of it, though. But do you get your toes sucked? No. Not really. No. I'm very averse to any of the foot stuff. No.

Sure. No, I believe you. More questions. Let me be clear here. Let me be clear here. I am someone who uses my literal butt for sex, and I draw the line at feet, okay? Yeah. I literally won't do it. It just can't be easy to give a foot job.

No. It's a lot of abs. I feel like I'd do this in yoga class. I feel like you're just doing this so he'll send you more money right now. I bet this is worth $200 at least. I could cover the flight here next time. Did he respond? Did he say good? He said

wow. I really nailed it. My girlfriend nailed it to be fair. She got the lighting right. And do you think he'll come back probably, right? Then he said, what's the sandal size? Let me send you some sandals. Okay.

And I think he'll send me something nice. You're like doing this. But will it be like a sexy sandal? Like whatever the equivalent of a nice lingerie for a sandal. Like a thong? A see-through sandal? Yeah. An edible sandal?

If people contact you just on DMU now about your feet, are you going to continue this with other people or just him? I think this is a strange. He put in the work. Or maybe not. He's a bands, honestly. Well, cause you don't, cause I don't care about my feed. So it feels fine.

Like, so I'll do it, but it did feel weird. It felt weird to send. Yeah. But that's, that's, that's, that's. Did it feel good though? Does it feel good that, you know, someone's jerking off two photos of you right now? I guess, but I'd rather it be my body than my feet.

You know? I haven't put any work into my feet. I'm not responsible for these at all. Well, that's my foot story. Now, you know Russell. You saw Russell on Titanic. Has anyone in here seen Titanic, the musical?

Yes. Smattering. Star. Star, star, star. Thank you. Literally, I'm sure you've heard this story. Lorne Michaels saw you and said you are the next Chris Farley. I didn't know you would know that. Shut up. We go out for drinks, Lorne and I,

all the time. That's the word on the street. No, no, no. That's the word on the street. That's the legend of your performance in Titanic. Very kind. But yes. Well, we're going to miss you when you die young, buddy. I'll tell you that right now.

He's just wildly unhealthy. That's the main thing. He's just an unhealthy person. That guy has the lifespan. That guy is not going to live to his 40s. No, I was going to say, because I remember when you came, because it was a big day, everyone was leaving the show that had been there for a while.

And we as the cast, and I think probably you as the audience, so that's what I want to ask you about. We knew that they were going to do something at the end, but we didn't know. I felt like maybe the audience and ourselves on stage felt a little like hostages because we finished the show and then there was like 20 minutes of like things

happening and speeches and I felt like the audience felt trapped. Did you feel trapped? I did not feel trapped. No, I enjoyed it. It felt like I felt like it was something special that we like I was like, oh, I should have paid extra for this. Oh, OK. OK, good.

OK, good. I was concerned. And it was like cool to see Marla and Nicole like together it was like yeah it felt very special okay good in my college for the with for the theater kids when they did their last show yeah after the bows the seniors come out and they would kiss the floor they'd kiss the stage that was the ritual your final show at the University of Miami oh kiss Kiss the floor. You just wasted $200,000.

One last humiliation before you go off. Wow, senior year, ensemble of rent? Good for you. You were a theater kid. I was a theater kid. I'm recovering, but I was a theater kid. I also put myself $100,000 in debt to go and get a useless degree.

NYU? No, no, no, no, baby. Millican University. Yeah, it is the world. It's in Decatur, Illinois, which is the largest producer of soybeans in the country. And soybean processing, I don't know if any of you are aware of this, smells like dog food being cooked on a stove. Yeah.

Yeah, it's really lovely. But yeah, the original voice of The Little Mermaid went to my school as well as the woman who played The Little Mermaid on Broadway. So we have that going for us. Well, not to one-up you here, but the guy Ariana Grande is dating now went to my high school theater program. You went to school with SpongeBob?

But he was, I was a senior. He was either a freshman or he was in eighth grade, but we definitely interacted on some capacity. And he graduated. He played SpongeBob SquarePants on Broadway. Then he got in Wicked. He married his high school sweetheart. Had a child. Had a child last November. And after SpongeBob, he got in Wicked. He married his high school sweetheart. Had a child.

Had a child last November. And after SpongeBob, he got in Wicked. They're filming a movie version of it. And then on set, I guess him and Ariana hit it off. And now they're dating. And it's just hard to think

that I was so close to being SpongeBob on Broadway. Babe, you're a Squidward. You are a Squidward down. Here's the thing. You You are Squidward down. I know. You are Squidward down. I had a callback for an original version of SpongeBob, and I got a callback for Squidward.

That's true. That was me. You could be Patrick. Yeah. Well, okay, yeah. I was up with Sandy the squirrel. You're going to be Plankton. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, that's my claim to fame. Did you, when you knew him in high school, did you, was he pulling tail like crazy? No, not at, I think this is what I. Wait, so you were a senior, he was in eighth grade? Yeah, eighth grade or freshman. He was much younger. It was in the ensemble for something.

Got it, okay. And I saw him and I was like, you're going to fuck Ariana Grande. it was in the ensemble for something. Got it. Okay. And I saw him and I was like, you're going to fuck Ariana Grande.

No, he's like, he's like, he's, he's, he's a small Jewish boy. Yeah, it is something.

There's something. And he has red hair. There's something about women who do theater that they are so, they come into it after many years and they are so traumatized by being surrounded by so many gay men that as soon as one eligible straight person shows up in their eyeline, they've lost it. You're talking about my whole life. Yeah, exactly.

I knew a lot of... I did this musical theater camp where it was like a woman and she had fallen in love with a guy and he ended up being gay, but something about him coming out really fucked her up. She wasn't like, oh, I did gay, but something about him coming out really, really fucked her up. She wasn't like, oh, I did this,

but I think deep internally, she really struggled with it. And then they both, we went to the same musical camp, and he was rooming with his new boyfriend, and they were both named Mike, and they looked the same, and it was just, I think for her,

very dramatic to feel like your boyfriend left you for himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That duo is running every single theater camp across the country right now. Like a woman who's been tragically left by a man named Mike for a man named Mike. Do you have any friends where they date a guy and they look exactly the same? And you're like, can we joke about it at all yeah no i mean this is like like boyfriend twins is like a a completely naturally occurring phenomenon that happens in the gay community all the time it is wild like

one time i remember i was in such a k-hole and my friend was showing me a picture of his new boyfriend on his instagram and i zoomed in on the face, and I said, oh my god, he's so cute, and my friend was like, that's me. So I couldn't even tell. In fact, one time, actually, we were at this warehouse party where everyone, it's like shirts off, everyone looks exactly the same. This guy comes up, he's like a big, muscly, white

gay guy with a beard and an earring and a sleeve tattoo, so he's wearing the uniform, basically, and he comes up and he goes, have you guys seen someone who looks exactly like me? And we were like, babe, look around. Look at the material. And then he was like,

no, it's my twin. He's really fucked up. Oh my god. It was an amazing story. It is a thing, though. I know three couples, three gay couples that all look the same. And it's not that they just look the same it's that they also dress the same and like sometimes have the same facial hair and things like that so they really commit to all all of it so they must know on some level right they

have to they have to and i think it's part of it like they're that's what they're attracted to but i i also think like my my the the similar thing but not the same thing is there's also a phenomenon in the gay community of salt and pepper shaker boyfriends where they don't look, bear with me. They don't look, they don't look identical, but they look a part of the same set. And that is what like, you know, like I'm looking around here actually, and I'm trying to find a scenario where actually you two are sort of salt and pepper shaker couple, I would say. Like, you don't look the same, but you look like you would be purchased together, you know?

That's so cute. Yeah, that's cute. The number of terminology. I always am like, I think I got it. Otter, bear, daddy, I got it. And then no. No, there's always new stuff being made. It's like Judaism in a way. There's just so many. I'm like, I think I got it. Otter, bear, daddy, I got it. And then no. No, there's always new stuff being gay. It's like Judaism in a way.

There's just so many. I'm like, what? Yeah, and in fact, it's very similar. Like when you want to convert to being gay, you have to be denied three times. So you were homeschooled? Yes, homeschooled until I was a junior in high school. So it's a wonder I turned out so well-adjusted.

But here I am. Was there anything socially you did that, like, I just can't imagine making friends at 16? I had a tough enough time as it was, and I was in school the whole time. I would say the biggest thing for me was that, like, I had very little filter. I was very honest. And it serves me well in my current profession, obviously. I was an overshare to the max. The thing that I think did not

make sense to me the most was because so much of my understanding of what friendship was came from television and pop culture because I didn't have a lot of friends until I went to school. The thing that shocked me the most was how much shit people talk about their friends. I didn't have a lot of friends until I went to school. And the thing that shocked me the most was how much shit people talk about their friends. And I didn't get that.

And I didn't understand that people would be like, oh, Emily's always late. I can't believe it. What is wrong with this bitch? She's always late. She's always showing up 10 minutes late to everything that we do. And then Emily would come in and I'd be like, Emily, do you know everybody hates you because you're late? You know?

And that would be a situation that would happen a lot. And so it was a real struggle for us for a while to make lasting friendships because I would reveal all of these things. It didn't make sense to me why we wouldn't just tell Emily that we hate her for being late and send her to stop being late. I have a friend who's late all the time

that I would love for you to be around. It's not me. No, it's not. And when you were homeschooled, because I know your parents were religious. Yeah. And did your dad, what religion? Southern Baptist. Southern Baptist.

Yeah. But was your dad leading sermons at home? Yeah. So we didn't even go to church until I was in, like, junior high. My dad would, like would lead church at home, and we wouldn't interact with anyone else in the community. It was, as you're all thinking, a cult. But he would just basically read from the Bible,

and we would talk about it. But a cult that he grew up in that religion, and then he was like, I have a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I'll start a franchise. He's like, I can do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, I'll start a franchise, you know? Uh-huh. He's like,

I can do this. Was there anyone else or just you and your... No, she started an immediate family. You and your two siblings? Two siblings, mom, yeah. And you'd sit down,

went in the living room? Was there a church room? No, it was like living room, sometimes his room, like sometimes my parents' room. We would all just like be on the bed

listening to, you know, Bible verses. You're making this weirder than it needs to be, honestly. I just can't imagine keeping everyone... It's just like if my dad said, kids, I'm going to put on a sketch show after dinner, and you're all going to... It's just like it's so... To do it every week. Yeah.

My parents were just more disorganized. I just can't imagine it being week. Yeah. My parents were just more disorganized. I just can't imagine. Yeah. And quite honestly, I would prefer hearing passages from the Bible to a sketch show put on my dad. I'll say that right now. I love comedy, but, um,

was it, was it always like very, did he ever riff off the Bible? And he's like, and that's why you should clean your room. No, I mean, there were definitely like things where he'd be like do you understand this like

let's talk about what this means and things like that but like he was never editorializing too much about stuff like that like he would be like this is why you need like you know need to be respectful to mom and dad like things like that and I do remember one time they fold they tried to

fold in like a version. Basically, my parents didn't want to talk to me about sex, so they handed me a book when I was 11 or 12 called How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex and just had me read the book, so sort of cutting out the middleman. And then we had a Sunday where we talked about what I read in the book. And I imagine it was a very heteronormative book?

Yes, very heteronormative. It didn't have salt and pepper shaker relationships? No, it didn't. I remember the conversation got shut down pretty early because I remember he was like, what sorts of things did you learn from the book? What surprised you? And I was like, oh, I didn't realize oral sex was not just

mouth on genitals. It could be anything. It could be like anything. It could be mouth on anything. Uh-huh. And then they were like, we're not talking about this anymore. I mean, honestly, though, it's not like I had better sex ed. My sex ed in high school, it was freshman year, and it was the gym teacher who had, like,

they just were like, you do gym now, add this too. Yeah. And she's a lesbian and she she gathered us in the library and she was like hey uh i'm gonna answer whatever questions you have just so everyone knows i'm a gold star lesbian and we were freshman high school and he said what's a gold star lesbian she said oh it means i'd never had sex with a man wow and then all the guys, the only question any of us wanted to know was

like 10 guys asked, does size matter? And what you want, I think it would be like, you know, the lie that we tell. No, not really. But the teacher, she just saw the question because it was in a hat. And each one, she'd be like, does size matter?

Again, I don't know, guys. I have no idea. It could be vitally important, but I am a gold star. I got to tell you, if that teacher were in Florida right now, she'd be in jail. She would be fully incarcerated in this day and age. But I love her candor. There's gold star again.

And then what's the even higher? It's if you had a C-section, so you'd... This is for men. Yeah, it's for men. There's the gold star gay, and then there's one step above. If you had a C-section,

you've never touched a person. I gotta stop you really quick, too. I hate, I hate, hate, hate the term gold star gay. Sure. This was a long time ago. I know, I know, I know. I just don't like that we've given ourselves

this award for not having sex with a woman when 90% of the time it's like, yeah, I doubt women were banging down your door. Like it's some sort of feat that you made it out without fucking a woman as though that were an option to you to begin with. And second of all, it's like, it's like we're giving ourselves a purple heart for making it out.

It's so annoying. It's just like, so you didn't fuck a woman. It does not make you special. In fact, I regret it. Yeah? I'm kidding. I don't. I don't at all.

I have fingered a woman, though. How was that? It was on my 21st birthday. I'd been out for like four at all. I have fingered a woman, though. How was that? It was on my 21st birthday. I'd been out for like four or five years. It was like a birthday thing? Like, hey, it's a birthday boy. Get him a pussy. I was like so, I was so blackout drunk, and she asked, and I'm a feminist, so I did it.

She asked specifically for a fingering? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, wow. Could you spare a fingering, sir? She knew what she wanted. Yeah, and then afterwards, I was Could you spare a fingering, sir? She knew what she wanted. Yeah, and then afterwards, I was so like, what does this mean? I started to cry.

Oh. Wall inside or inside? No, no, no. On the curb outside, I sat and I was like, does this mean I'm not gay? And she was like, I'm pretty sure that this means you are gay. Like the gayest possible reaction to fingering a woman is crying about it afterwards. I just would, like, being gay, like someone fingering you, you're like, are you gay? The way the finger is just like... Well, yeah, because I was fingering her like this, you know?

Just came in from an upwards angle, yeah. There are two sides to McDonald's new Cajun Ranch McCrispy. Oh. is a work of art for all your senses. Yep, like a flavorful fusion. Precisely. When is the gallery opening? It already has. Experience the Cajun Ranch McCrispy today for a limited time only at participating McDonald's in Canada. What do Ontario dairy farmers bring to the table?

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Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it, like, this is, did you have, like, a line? Did you go, like? Yeah, well, there was, like, I was, like, into it, because, like, Judas is the one that gets to kiss Jesus, you know? So. Wow.

Yeah, yeah. They were, like, a little. Less on the kiss. I don't know what that. No need to embrace his backside. I brought you a fourth gift. We had my middle school. It used to be a Christian school, but there were echoes of it still.

And we would do a big Christian play around winter. And the shepherds, they had to kneel the whole show. And one kid would always faint. What? Always? Yeah, because you're just kneeling for an ungodly amount of time. He would not make it in the gay community. I've got to tell you.

Do you ever do a church? No. I never did a church. Do you ever do a church? No, no. I didn't have it grown up at all. It was like, you know, it was, I went with friends a couple times, you know, when like a friend who is religious invites you to go to something.

But only one-offs. And that was it, really. I had no relationship to it. Yeah. It's just the figuring out of the theater kid at church. Like with Jewish, the Passover, you have the big, you still tell the story. And this kid goes like, and you're like, give it to me, give it to me. And then you're like, and then Moses.

Yes. And that's how you know. Yeah. I still felt that we did Passover recently. And there was just a feeling of like, when this book gets to me, you motherfuckers aren't ready. This is what I do for a living. She's a fucking lawyer. Forget about it.

She's a fucking lawyer. Forget about it. And do you remember when you stopped believing in this religion? It was a slow burn. Because basically what happened with me is I came out at school at 16, pretty much a month after they sent me to public school. They sent me to public school. It's like proof right there for these parents. One month in.

They sent me to public school. I drank for the first time. I smoked weed for the first time. I sucked a dick for the first time. I came flying out of the closet. Like I, it was like, that was all in the first hour

of being in public school. This was by, like this was like, three periods first. So like, cause I was under such lock and key for most of my life. And so everything I watched, everything I consumed, everything about my life was so much like my parents controlled it all.

And so when I had like an ounce of freedom, it was over. It was over. I'm more scared. I think like I didn't smoke weed really until college. And so that first time, like when you first drank, were you like excited? Were you like, what am I doing? Did it feel? It felt very natural, I got to say.

Like, it just felt like this is the life I'm supposed to be leading. Everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just felt normal. But so then I didn't come out to my parents until, like, my senior year. And they read my journal, famously. And that's how they discovered I was doing all this shit. and they read my journal famously and that's how they discovered I was doing all this shit.

And then I moved out of the house and sort of hopped around for a while to different friends' houses. And it was this thing where when I came out and I was out at school, I was like, okay, I obviously can't deny that I'm gay. I guess I'm just going to go to hell and that's whatever.

I'll deal with that on a later date, but I'm going to be gay. I'll have eternity to figure that out date but I'm gonna be gay I'll have eternity to figure that out and um but like I'm definitely going to hell and then so what ended up happening is I ended up moving in with this girl that I had one class with um she like everybody knew that I was like sort of struggling and not at home and she was like hey if you ever need a place to stay you can come and stay with my family and she and I were not friends so I was like you're just saying this to be nice but then I got desperate and I showed up at her house and I were not friends, so I was like, you're just saying this to be nice, but then I got desperate, and I showed up at her house, and I was like, hey, can I stay here, and her parents

were like, you can't just invite strange boys to sleep at our house, like, her dad's a paraplegic, they have two, she had two younger brothers, like, it was a lot going on in the house, but they let me stay the night. The next morning, they were like, come back for dinner, and I came back for dinner, and the long story short of it is I ended up staying there for the rest of my senior year. They co-signed on my student loans. They bought me a car for graduation. Wow.

She's still my best friend to this day. Wow. And it was amazing. And the ironic thing was that her dad was the Methodist pastor in our town. And he was very progressive, though, like very into gay rights, very into just sort of into like just like sort of like god has no gender there is no hell and like staying there really saved my life because it was this thing where i they caught wind of the fact that i was like i thought i was going to hell

for for living my life the way i was and they were like oh no no that's not how any of this works and so they really it was like really helpful to have someone in authority in a place of authority in religion. Tell me that that wasn't true. And I would say now I've sort of like transitioned into being fairly agnostic slash, you know, borderline atheist. But it was really helpful for me to live in that period of my life where I was just like, OK, maybe like God doesn't hate me. And now I'm sort of like God is vibes. Yeah. God doesn't hate me.

And now I'm sort of like, God is vibes. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I can't tell whether it's like, oh, make religion even, obviously it should be more accepting, but part of me is like, some of this stuff needs to just go away wholesale. Because if you live in that area,

you can create any rules underneath the concept of God, you can. So it's just like, if you keep it there, someone can put the homophobia right back in. I don't know. This is not the most pro-religious. I always thought of Pete Holmes would always bring up people's religion. I was like, I want to do the opposite. I want to find out when people

stopped believing in God. And for some of them, it's listening to the podcast, and I feel like... I just think it's amazing. I don don't know I think the idea of being homeschooled until you're 16 and being just functional enough to I guess you had to you had no other choice but to figure it out

but when you went to college sorry was it the city you grew up in or how far away? No it was like three hours south where I grew up. And doing theater there too? Doing theater there. Any good roles? Any English?

No. I did a couple of things, like a lot of Shakespeare and things like that. And that's like what I wanted to do for a while. But I mostly switched. I did one summer of summer stock theater, which is like professional theater that happens over the summer. Did you ever do summer stock? I didn't, it wasn't called that. I did like, I did shows in the,

like a show in the summer. It was a really bad, it's a long story, but it's a really bad show called, well, it's not bad. I'm recording this. It's a fine show that is in Texas. It's called Texas Musical Drama and it's all about the history of Texas

and it's like a cast of 75 people. It's built Texas the Musical Drama, and it's all about the history of Texas, and it's like a cast of 75 people. It's built into the wall of the second largest canyon in the United States. There's dancers, there's fire, there's horses. It sounds like Burning Man. It's all very pro-Texas. It's Texas, exclamation point. How do they cover thelamation point. How do they cover the Civil War? How do they get out of that pickle?

No, no, no. It's just about, there's Native Americans that come out on stage and everything's good about it. There's no mention that they drove their buffalo off cliffs and things like that. Oh my God. So I did that for two summers. And what did you play in it?

I was a guy named Tucker Yeldal. He was a gold prospector in a town with no gold. It was the comedic relief of the show. Really? Yeah. But 2,000 people would come every night. Did you have a voice? Did you have a prospector voice?

I mean, you know me. It was yelly. It was like that kind of, you know. Where's the gold? I got one voice. There's no gold here, and I'm a prospector for gold. Yeah, but with a southern accent. Give me my horse.

Hello, Native Americans, my friends. Thank you for your land. My favorite part of the show is in the opening, there was a part where everyone sang, and they go, and the men would all sing uh sorry the women would all sing where the women are happy and the men go and never complain so it was like that kind of like show you know it was like and you know every guy in that at all is just nudging his wife like, you here? Yeah! Did you do anything like that? Yeah, no, I did.

The summer after my freshman year, it was my first paid acting gig. I did a show called Thoroughly Modern Millie for like 70 performances, and I played Asian henchmen in it. The role is Asian henchmen. Yeah, Bun Fu. It wasn't just henchmen, and they were like, well, no, it's an Asian henchman. No, no, no, they is asian henchmen yeah okay yeah bunfu and it was um it wasn't just

henchmen and they were like well no no they were like specifically asian henchmen and it was this thing where like the show was like being intentionally racist as like a comment on being racist that's always but then it circled back around and it just yeah yeah and so that was like fairly demoralizing and i got back to school and i was like i don't want to do musical theater that's not my bag like that's not what I want to do for the rest of my life so I switched my major to dramatic writing and started and basically created because they didn't really have that major but I like finagled my way into like creating this major for myself and so that's when I

started writing and then Chicago then Chicago afterwards and you did copywriting I know I didn't. I worked at Groupon, but I was in the customer care division of Groupon, working... People called you? People called and emailed in. Lots of wacko things happened.

Like, there was definitely a Groupon for anal bleaching, and there was definitely an anal bleaching gone wrong, and they definitely emailed us pictures of it. Oh. Yeah, so I saw a lot of horrific things working for Groupon. Wait, what did... Okay, when you hear an anal bleaching goes wrong,

what do you imagine... Burns, babe. Oh, I thought it was like the bleaching just spread out, so it was like all over. No, no, it's burning. It looked like your anus just like... Tie-dye, a tie-dye.

Oh, God. We're like, yeah, refund. Sure. There's certain things you don't... There's certain things you don't get a discount on. An anal bleaching is one of those. Full price. Have you ever had an anal bleaching?

No, I don't need it. Yeah? But then it would be too, it would be too, like, white. I don't think there's any making it look other than what it is. What do you... I don't have a thought.

I think people can do whatever they want to do. No, I'm not saying don't. I'm not saying you'll go to hell if you get an anal bleaching. I don't have a... So that shitty, shitty job overall? You know, it was fine. It was like the start of like ping pong tables and kegs at startup culture.

So everyone was sitting on a yoga ball. It was like very like loosey-goosey. There was no dress code. I showed up looking like a fucking whore like every day. Yeah. Like I literally came in in like short shorts and rollerblades one day. It was like making a complete mockery of the workplace. And it was, that was,

but they also like let me go for auditions. They let me like, you know, they were very, they kept like the ethos of Groupon was like the more successful you are at the thing you love doing, the more successful we will be as a company. And I was always like, no, the more successful I am at the thing I love doing, the more like closer I'll be to leaving this company yeah but like god bless them for thinking that um and so and i also like transferred to groupon in new york when i moved to

new york too which was like convenient to have that as well i feel like i really like i experienced the we work like right as it's not wasn not cool anymore right as people were like yeah we don't need free beer at 8 a.m. well it was I I ended up working for this startup in New York at a WeWork there were like four of us in this office space and what you don't need to understand about WeWork is that every floor has what is essentially it's they caught they're called community managers and they are our a's they are adult ourAs. And literally every day, every week, this RRA would come and knock on our door

and be like, hey guys, didn't see any of you at the happy hour on Friday. Everything going all right? We just love community. And it would be like, get away from us. We're trying to work. I don't want any of your alcoholic kombucha shoved down my throat.

Well, that's why now they're desperate to get everyone back into the office, and it's tough to imagine what they could do to make it worth people's while. Because we all saw that that kind of collapsed, that whole idea of, like, cool workspace. Yeah. But then you worked at Olive Garden.

I worked at Olive Garden. This is before Groupon. I worked at Olive Garden in college for two years. In Times Square? No, no, no, in college. Oh, in college. Oh, okay. For two years.

And I got to tell you, still eat there to this day. I would eat there any day of the week. I've seen how the sausage gets made. It comes frozen. It's fine. It's all great. I will say the breadsticks are 350 calories per stick. And I used to eat roughly 11 of them

per shift and then eat a shift meal. I have never looked so healthy in my entire life. No, Tova and I, we went to, because she grew up in a religious community, so she never really went to Olive Garden, so we did a Broadway night where we went to the Times Square Olive Garden. It's not bad.

It's not terrible. No, for a Times Square restaurant, it's not bad. I've been there. We had a rough... Okay, I love Montreal. I really do. But the service is definitely slower than other places. And there's just with the service they deserve everything but

the coffee refills it's not unlimited refills if it's 30 minutes between each refill then it's one refill for free as far as I'm concerned so there was this so it was just a long time

I like as you're drinking it they come over I like that Jewish deli. They have two. They're walking around. They're burning people as they go. And so I got like one cup. And also, if you're not going to do refills, that's fine. Bigger cup.

You got to get a bigger cup. These are tiny little cups. And I did one. I said, can I have a refill? And then like 30 minutes later, I think 30 minutes. Yeah. I was like, oh, just refill. It went to chance. And she was like, I didn't forget you. And then.

And then she was so flustered, she spilled. Well, so then she was so flustered, we went to get the, we wanted to get the check. It was time to go. And we, you know, we needed, we had to be here in two hours. So we were like, we better ask now if we want to make it in time. And then before she got to us, the person behind her, she spilled coffee. And this woman was wearing linen white pants. It was a fit.

And I mean, disaster. Go home kind of disaster. And I was like, we are never getting this check. Yeah. And yeah. I can't tell if that's all Montreal or just this one woman. disaster. And I was like, we are never getting this check. And yeah. I can't tell if all Montreal are just this one woman at this one place. When you go to a new place,

it's very easy to be like, wow, this whole fucking place. I love Montreal as well. I will say I have never met a group of people in positions of service that hate you more

for not speaking the language. Outside of America. Yeah. They really don't like you if you don't speak French here. Do you give, so they go bonjour?

When they go bonjour, hi. No, yeah, so they go bonjour, bonjour, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bonjour, hi. Hi. Do you give them a bonjour back? No, I go, no. No, thank you. No, I don't know.

The stupidest thing I do after we do the whole exchange in American at the end, they're like, and here's your key. And I go, merci. I know two words. Can you speak another language?

I can speak a little bit of Spanish. It sort of left me during the pandemic because I didn't speak Spanish for almost two years. And then, you know,

sometimes like, they'll like, like, sometimes like here, they'll be like, you know, and I know this is wrong. I know this is wrong. But, like, they'll be, like, oh, can I get you anything else? And I'll be, like, c'est bon, you know. It's good, right?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Don't ask me. Is that right? It sounds good. Yeah. It sounds good. I use it way too much for it to be correct, though.

C'est bon. C'est bon. C'est bon. You dig in Montreal so far? Yeah, I'm loving it. Not enough ice in the drinks? I can do a little more air conditioning. Okay, good. This is me testing out what's a real thing and what's not. A little more air conditioning.

A little more air conditioning? Basically, they're just trying to take care of the environment and you have a problem with that. I think that's what it is. I think like the iced coffee a lot of the iced coffee comes in paper cups and you're like what's this and

I think there's is there a lot. Anyone from Montreal. It's what. But you know what else sucks. The ice caps melting. Yeah.

You're going to need that single-use plastic as a raft when the water starts rising. The person, who shouted out, what's your name? Are you a Montreal native? Yes, born and raised. Born and raised? Tell me what sucks about Montreal. Honestly, it's because

it's got the highest construction in the middle of a fucking summer, but it's that and the weather. Yeah, that's the thing. It's fun here now in the summer. I don't think I could handle the cold. That's why the malls are so big, right? Because they need all these different things indoors

for when it's cold. I just offended seven Montreal people who they are out. They are done. They were like, we love the construction. all these different things indoors for when it's cold. We just offended seven Montreal people. Do you think that's what it was? They are out. They are done. They are done. They were like, we love the construction in the summer. We liked it until he started.

They were like, that enough. Have you performed a lot in Canada in general? Yeah, a bunch. Here, Toronto, Vancouver, Winnipeg. Yeah, all over. People always Toronto, Vancouver, Winnipeg. Yeah, all over. People always ask, when you do radio interviews, they're like,

what are Canadian audiences like versus American audiences? I never know how to answer that question without sounding just so stupid. No. It's exactly the same. We share most of the same cultural sort of touchstones,

except you guys are a little French. Yeah. Do you think, I feel like the politeness, like as the stereotype, it's over. Fully fake. It's fully fake. You guys are not any nicer than us. Yeah.

In fact, they're meaner. No, I'm just kidding. Just kidding. And how many JFLs have you been to? Oh, gosh. I think every year since my new faces. Really? Yeah.

Maybe not Montreal specifically, but I've done Toronto JFL or Vancouver JFL or something like that every year since I've been here. Round of applause. You're staying in this hotel, the Doubletree Hotel. Okay, then we won't complain about the double... I had like ten things like, isn't the fucking soap the worst? We had an alarm.

We had a 2 a.m. alarm. I've never had this guy... So it was 2 a.m. the second night we were here, my girlfriend and I, and loud alarm, 2 in the morning, and they said French. They were like, I can't even do it. Oh my God, you don't have to. I don't French. They were like, I can't even do it. Oh my god. You don't have to. I don't have that in my brain. I can't even do a thing.

It sounded like fucking Simlish that you just said. Are you checking your fucking phone during the live podcast recording? And so you thought, after that, what do you expect? An English translation. Yes. But instead it was like, and I was like, whoa, we're not going to translate it?

Do I need to run? Can I walk? Should I check the window? Like, what are we doing here? And then after the four beeps, the system is, then they do it in English and they said, you may need to leave the hotel. Please be ready to leave at a moment's notice.

And this went on for 30 minutes. Oh, my God. And a lot of people left. I said, not until the flames are licking the doorknob am I. And then you open the door, and everyone's, like, peeking out in various states of undress. Yeah. I left my shirt off. I don't know if that was like...

But, you know, I peeked open like, oh, anyone know what's going on? And no one fucking does. Of course. Yeah. Who got a secret thing? Or someone said the French version actually says we're going to die in 10 seconds. You should already be outside. Hey, guys.

This is so unprofessional, but can I go pee really quick? Yeah, you can pee. Oh yeah. I just don't want to do it on your podcast. Sure. No, don't do it. That would be the clip for sure. We'll cut this part.

Just vamp. You pee. No, don't cut this. Peep it in. John Margo loves cutting and editing the podcast. All right, I want to tell that uh so sometimes i have a moment at a show that i did not know how to handle uh-huh and we tried to game plan it so i did a show at a jcc we all know what jcc is no jewish community center he learned that this morning. No, okay. But you said it in a way like a

word of the day. You were like, JCC. It's my Jewish term of the day. I used to go to the JCC all the time when I was a manny because the kid would go there. Okay. So I would take him. So it was a JCC event. What that means, they say go a little cleaner.

There's going to be some old people there. It's not necessarily going to be the most poppin' show. But it's, you know, it's communities and I hope to, I want to figure out how to do well at JCC's. And, uh, because I'm making some Yamaka merch. And they're not buying it in

Alabama, I'll tell you that. So we go and it's like, I'd say it's like 150 people and a woman comes up and she says, hi, just so you know, I run an organization. We bring adults with autism who don't go out normally, and it's like a big group of like 20 people, and we're going to be seated over there. Just wanted to let you know in case you notice that part of the audience is not reacting as you would normally expect them to react. I'm like, that's great. That's fine.

Okay? the audience is not reacting as you would normally expect them to react. I'm like, that's great. That's fine. Okay. It's a rare moment. Honestly, I think the most egotistical part is I'm like, I'm a good person tonight. Yeah. I would have performed, you know, for literal Nazis. But so I was doing this JCC event and a woman said, just, you know, a big group of this event. It's a community of adults with autism,

and they don't go out normally, so we bring them out for events. I was like, great. And I'm doing the show, and at some point I mention a friend of mine who's gay or has a boyfriend, and I say he's gay, and one of the adults goes, ew.

And I didn't know, in the context of a comedy show how to handle it in a way that would keep the good times rolling and I didn't because I didn't want to be like hey fuck you I didn't want to chastise I didn't want to roast

you didn't want to be an ally I didn't want to be an ally I said you know what I'm an ally when it's convenient but not when it stands in the way of one joke. But I wasn't sure. What would you have done? Well, I would not be telling stand-up jokes.

That would be the first thing. Sure, sure. But I don't know, because it's a complicated thing, because it's an adult, and you don't know who they are really. I don't know who they are. I don't know like yeah. I would have just

I would have like just off the spitball I would have been like oh I'm sorry did you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror? Or something along those lines because you can't like in my position there's no way I can like get out of that without being mean you know. Sure. Yeah. There's just no way like how get out of that without being mean. Sure.

There's just no way. How am I going to gracefully handle someone saying my lifestyle is ew? It's like, you're... Never mind. I'm not going to say that. I think what I did was, it's the lamest version. I was like, no. It's not ew.

Yeah. It's all ew. If we really think about it. Everything, the whole spectrum. K straight, we're all gross. That was my attempt and it did not work. It was a bad event. Yeah. Sometimes there's nothing to do.

Sometimes there's no good way out of it. You can't roast him. No. I mean, you would. Well, he's on the autism spectrum. Oh, did you miss that part? No, I know that he is. But you can. roast him. No. I mean, you would. Well, he's on the autism spectrum. Oh, did you miss that part? No, I know that he is on the autism spectrum. But you can.

That's the thing. You can because I think that's something that gets missed. There's a condensation to not treat people like you would treat everyone. Yeah. It's weird, too. So he can be on the autism spectrum and be an asshole. I wouldn't zero in on that. Truthfully. I wouldn't make your comeback about him be on the autism spectrum and be an asshole. I wouldn't zero in on him. I wouldn't make your comeback about him being on the autism spectrum.

No. He's not as far on the gay spectrum as you are on the autism spectrum. I think it's a little patronizing to not clap back. Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just, I just, I wasn't.

I failed. No, I definitely did. Yeah. You could have was just... You failed. I failed. No, I definitely did. Yeah. You could have made fun of his clothes. If I were in your position, I would have frozen up, too. I would have, like... Because you want to be... You want to triangulate and be aware of all of the optics

of everything you're about to say, and that's not conducive to being a good, funny stand-up in the moment. Which mental disability do you think you'd be best handled to equip a comeback for? I'm just kidding. You were thinking about it for a second. You really took a moment. I was, yeah.

You were like, schizophrenia. But then one of the other adults came up to me after the show and said, oh, I wanted to come to a comedy show. It was just a guy complaining on stage for an hour. one of the other adults came up to me after the show and, and he said like, Oh, I, I wanted to come to a comedy show.

It's just a guy complaining on stage for an hour. Oh. And again, I was just like, fuck, what the fuck, dude? You can, you can be an autistic and an asshole at the same time.

Yeah. I, uh, yeah. I don't think they'd love to be called an autistic. No, no, that's not how I meant to phrase it.

No. Definitely not. It's a problem with live podcasts. So, alright, let's see. We left in New York. And then you got into stand-up. Well, I got into stand-up in Chicago. In Chicago?

I moved to New York to do stand-up as much as possible, yeah. Did you like living in Chicago? I did. I think Chicago's a really great place. It's a great incubator for any sort of artistic pursuit because you have as much access as you do in New York to stage time and things like that, but it's without the pressure of actual industry eyes being on you

the whole time you're coming up. So I was able to be really experimental things like that but it's not without the pressure of like actual industry eyes being on you the whole time you're like coming up so i was able to be really experimental and like figure out my voice as a stand-up to a certain degree before going to new york and like you know jumping into the deep end and doing it but it was great yeah it's like um you know very cold but it's it was a good time what is it like coming back back to a stand-up comedy-centered festival, and your life has brought on so many things that are not stand-up? Yeah. I mean, you were talking a little backstage,

just not feeling like you're in super fighting shape, like to the way you might have been in the past. Right, right, right. Do you come and you go, I don't give a shit. I'll go back to fighting shape when I want to. Does it feel weird? Do you miss it? Are you like, I'm over the crazy hustle of it?

Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely like, that's the thing is that like that hustle like that I had to have early in my career made me a better standup. And now that I don't have to work as hard to get stage time, I'm a worse stand-up for it. And I do miss feeling really good

at doing this. But I don't miss... I guess I prefer being able to own a house. So it's like you take the good, you take the bad. But I mean, being in environments like this, it really does, it really ignites the love. Yeah.

Because the thing is, I am getting to the point where I've been doing this now for over a decade and I love it. It's my first love. It's the thing that I feel the most self-actualized doing. It's the thing where I'm not getting network notes on it I'm not like it is there's no barrier to entry like it's just me and my brain and the stage and the audience and it's great um but I am getting to the point where it's like at what point because let's be honest like there are people in this

industry who get famous from doing other things and from doing stand-up and release like their fourth or fifth special and it's really bad and it's really bad because they can get away with it because they're famous and I never want to get to that point and yeah it is like I I would rather quit before I release a special that is like clapped er and fun and not funny and just sort of resting on like having fans and that's like we were talking backstage this is the problem is that like when I released all the material in my Netflix special was material I was writing as I was coming up and as I was headlining clubs where they did not know who I was where it was just like people showing up to a club trusting that they they booked a funny

comedian and I would have to work really hard to get people on my side and like perform for people who didn't care if I lived or died and now I'm touring and it's like 80% of the audiences are people who like me from the movie or from the special or from something else that I've done and they these motherfuckers will laugh at whatever jib jab I say um and it is so frustrating because it's like I don't trust myself I don't trust any of my material anymore because I'm like you know I just feel like it is I'm like operating at a

like a lazier level and that's my problem that's not necessarily audience's problem but it is my problem and but being in places like Montreal really does make me like I already like since being here for like 12 hours I feel like I've written like three better jokes or three better versions of jokes that I've had in my set and just being there last night.

But the newest sensation for me is being nervous again. Did you see that? Sure. I would say from years two to eight, I was not nervous doing stand-up at all. It was the one thing I knew I was good at. And now I'm sort of like, I don't know. I know I'm a funny person, but is this the best thing for me to be doing?

I don't know. It is one of those things where I'm like, I want to quit before I hit that level of special that everyone talks about in our community being like, did you see that special? It was dog shit. Yeah, well, let's list the comedians right now. Yeah, exactly. We got... I think... But, like, clearly, like...

Like, clearly, those people probably didn't think... They probably may have said at a younger time in their life, like, I don't want to end up like that either. And then one day, someone says, hey, 10 million,

and then they go, oh, I took a weird shit yesterday. I'll talk about that for 10 minutes. I think that there's, like, a fair amount... I have struggled since the beginning of my career with a fair amount of imposter syndrome about belonging in this industry.

Really? Why? Well, I think there weren't a lot of gay stand-ups coming up when I was coming up. And then when I did reach a certain amount of success, there was a lot of talk about it being like, oh, because it's a gimmick or it's this new wave of like woke comedy or whatever and like that people being like i'm a diversity hire like you know hearing

stuff like that constantly as you're coming up and having every success that you have invalidated by people saying that yeah like it makes you question yourself even more and i feel like a lot of like the really successful comics who are releasing bad specials have never once in their entire career questioned whether or not they belong in this career. And so they don't even think that it's even a possibility that their shit

could be bad. Whereas I've questioned every single joke I've ever written and wondered, is this bad? Is this me resting on my laurels? Is this me utilizing? like me you know resting on my laurels is this like me like you know um utilizing i don't know i've just always questioned myself like no matter how successful i've been in this industry like i've always wondered like do i belong here when you first came up who were the like gay comics that had succeed like i mean like i remember like from

my youth it was like aunt aunt yeah Ant, yeah. Alec Mapa a little bit. But there really wasn't anyone who'd broken through in a big way. Not in certainly the same way that gay women have had a fair amount of success with. Also, a lot of them started straight into the scene and then came out.

Exactly. All those old Ellen specials are very... She's wearing a full suit and she's like like I hate dating men Getting closer But there weren't gay headliners When I was coming up There just weren't And so it was like

It was very lonely I think in my class the only other gay comic that i knew and that we like sort of clung to was mateo um yeah and like that was that was it for a long long time and then it wasn't until like i met bowen and and other people in this sort of new julio torres and like all of these people did i finally realize that like there was a community of gay comedy and there was people that wanted to show up for it but it is it's just different now you know

yeah and I mean Matteo's a killer too yeah Matteo does not rest on his laurels um um well very cool I mean do you think I mean being here you're like well maybe I will like because if you want to get back into stand-up shape you have to block out space you have to block out space yeah you have to

like be like okay no writer's room for a little bit no yeah exactly and that's like the problem because again i own a house um and i have to pay for that house and i can't pay for my house doing 20 spots at the comedy store you know um so it is like tough but like it is just it's also living in la i will say this living in New York and doing stand up in New York you will be the best version of yourself as a comic bar none because the audiences are great

there's so much stage time you can do three shows in a night that was my rhythm when I was living in New York I would go up three times a night and then come back and now living in LA there's a couple things LA is just less stage time. The audiences are unfortunately dumber.

And you really think that's true? I think that's true, yeah, unequivocally. I think they are less comedy literate. Most of the audiences in New York are people that see comedy, love comedy, see a lot of comedy. So you can do experimental stuff and you can do stuff that pushes the form a little bit, because they're ready for it. Whereas in LA, A, they're not seeing as much comedy,

and B, there are so many people in LA that are in that audience that want to be where you are, who are industry people, who are out of work actors, or people who are trying to do something, and just sit there and just sort of be like, how do I do what that person I want the attention you know and so you're fighting against that a little bit and then I'll

say the other big thing too that's changed in my life in the last two years is I am in a relationship for the first time in my life and like I no longer can be that guy that stays out until 2am doing spots and then like come home and like you know jerk off and go to bed.

I have this whole other person in my life that wants to spend time with me and that I want to spend time with. And so it's not only just job stuff that's taking me away from stand-up. It's this horrible man. Yeah. Yeah, it's just sometimes I'm like,

oh, I want to stay good at stand-up, but ultimately it's like to be good is to be a poor time manager. I mean, it truly is a nightmare. Yeah. And I'm sure my girlfriend's listening to this right now like, oh, that's great. But you're lucky. I mean, she at least is in the industry too. People say this all the time, and I got to tell you. People go, oh, your girlfriend's in the industry,

so she must be cool with you being a selfish piece of shit. And I'm like, no, she's in the industry, but she's still like a human being who wants you there for her birthday. Yeah. The worst thing I did, this was the first year that we dated, I got...

She was like, you know, we'll do something that night. And I said, oh great, so that means that if there's a show in the middle of the day, that's okay. And I hosted a show like in a park in New York City on her birthday. Staten Island.

Staten Island. And I thought, oh, I know what I love. When I was on stage I said, I thought, oh, and I thought, oh, I know what I love. When I was on stage, I said, it's my girlfriend's birthday today.

Everyone say happy birthday, my girlfriend. Like that would make up for it in some capacity. 12 strangers wishing her a happy birthday. You made her go to it? I didn't make her go to it. I, you know,

so, so yeah, I hear you. And I've never been a better comic than at that day of my life. It's been downhill since. All right, let's go on to our next segment, This Has Got to Stop. This Has Got to Stop. Wow.

It's funny if you knew how long we talked about the moment that you just witnessed backstage. This Has got to stop. This is where we talk about something that needs to stop. Something big, small, personal, broad. Russell, do you have a specific one? There's a specific ad that plays before a Pornhub video

that has got to stop because it is, I don't like, okay, it's a form of, a form. It is a form of like, it's, you know, she's diddling and then she's like, she's like, don't, don't touch that skip ad. And she like tells it like she can see you, you know? I don't like that. I know that she can't see me,

but I don't like that they're making me feel like she can see me. It just makes me uncomfortable. There's a moment in your brain where you're like, what? It's very slight but I just don't like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So I don't like that. That's got to stop.

I understand the reasoning. It makes me feel more active. I listen more but I don't want to do that. Yeah, there's not a lot of good porn ads. It's always too much. Yeah, no. We've talked about the semen X where it has two cups next to each other

and it's like a little bit of semen. I don't get that one. It's pathetic. And then it's like over the brim. They're like, don't you want this? Don't you want all the semen? No, a cup's worth. It's too much.

Too much semen. I'd have to move out of my house. It's overflowing. You're like much semen. I'd have to move out of my house. It's overflowing. You're like, now you need an ad for paper towels to wipe up all the semen that's on the counter.

It's too much semen. Yeah. All right. Only a couple more porn ad ones. It's always porn ads for you. This has got to stop. Every day it's some new porn ad. Let's see.

I'll stick with the porn vibes so there's a lot of like sponsored people do sponsored posts on Instagram it's fine get your money but there's like a vibrator company that a lot of people will post and it's you know it's like you gotta get this vibrator use this code blah blah blah but the picture it's the

picture they always do is as if they're they look like glamorous and they have the thing and they're kind of blushed and they're like, this vibrator is really good. I'm like, you didn't fucking just do it. You didn't just do it and then take this nice photo with the good lighting. If I want to believe it, there should be typos

in the thing. You're like this. You're like, holy shit. This vibrator fucking rocked my world. I can't even finish this post. I don't even know what the code is. Figure it out. I want to use it again right now.

That's why this has got to stop. If you're going to advertise the product, fucking, you know. And they don't do it for God. I've noticed there's no guys doing Fleshlight ones. I don't know if maybe they're selling better. Oh, they are. They are? Yeah. You've got there's no guys doing fleshlight ones. I don't know if maybe they're selling better. Oh, they are. They are? Yeah.

You've got some offers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? For fleshlights particularly? Wait, what do you, you just mean ads for fleshlights? No, no, no. No, I mean like a sponsored post. Like you've seen so many comedians particularly.

Do they ask you like Joel for? Oh, no, actually, yeah. Not for a fleshly but this other like lube company did recently ask me to do that. And I was like down for it. But, you know, it's now... What would your angle be? Would it be just like...

It would be like, oh, too slippery, you know? The phone, the camera would be like, the shot would be here. This was the best shot I got because this lube is unbeatable. Do you have a, this has got to stop. Yeah, I guess I wasn't super prepared. That's why we went first over here.

I can do one. It's like hyper personal. And it's sort of something that I was thinking about in preparation to talk to you on this. Because you were talking like, the way I was pitching this podcast was that like oh it's like the downside to being famous or what oh is that what they said? oh they said famous I wonder if they just said that like listen

if you want to get Joel you need to lead with listen you're super famous we know this I was going to take umbrage with the premise of the podcast because I don't feel that is my situation like I think I'm... I'm in a gay bar. There are maybe a couple people who know who I am. I'm gay

famous to a certain degree, but most straight people don't care if I live or die. Make some... Hoot and holler in this room if you've never heard of me ever or seen me ever before today. What a weird thing to get applause. I don't know who you are.

Yeah, exactly. So that's the thing. But I will say in gay-concentrated spaces, because I made a very gay movie and I am who I am, there are people who know me. But the thing that for me has to stop, and the thing that has been really ruined by any amount of success that I've had

in this industry, is every time I'm at a sex party now, someone will stop to either say, like, thank you so much for all of your work and representation, or, like, be like, I literally was, like, over pride was at a very modest

orgy, and I... What's a modest orgy? Like 30-some guys. 30? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, what a... Oh, I didn't know it was a little one.

Just three rooms? I was literally on the bed, like, fucking a guy. And this guy came and stood next to us and just waited. And he was like, you're that guy. And I was like, that guy what? That guy who's fucking your friend?

Like, I don't understand, like, what we're supposed to get out of this conversation. But it is, like, the biggest boner killer in the entire world is when you're trying to have anonymous sex and somebody is like, I loved you in that NBC pilot that didn't go, you know? Has it ever happened during sex where they're like, are you going to put this in one of your skits? I bet. Oh, all the time. That happens all the time.

That has got to stop. I will say it is like, also when I hook up with people, like, I hate it when they tell me they know who I am after we've had sex. Like, it is like the police. If you know who I am after we've had sex. It is like the police. If you know who I am, you have to disclose immediately. Because half the time they'll be like, oh, and by the way, I'm a big fan. And I'll be like, I wish you would have told me that

because I wouldn't have been such a fucking freak just now. You'd tamp it down? Yeah. I would have more normal sex. And not so... Boo-boo-boo! Audience, anyone got a this has got to stop, please.

People get shy here. I know some of you got complaints. Come on. You have one? That's fine. Go for it. Mine wasn't niche. The comedy... Ten people in this audience are like,

I hate it when that happens. I've noticed. I know, orgy. What's your This Has Got to Stop? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. Okay, Colleen Ballinger.

Again, one of those... Miranda Sings. She... The number of things she was accused of is pretty wide and vast. But she... Weird with fans. Weird messages. You know what?

I'm going to actually go further than what you just said, and I'm going to say YouTube stars need to stop. I don't know what happened to some of these people on YouTube, but it has rotted their brains from the inside out.

This is a weird almost pro why some gatekeepers are necessary. Because I think when you're a YouTube star, you literally can succeed with no one telling you, like, what's this? Why would you do this? And basically

your only gatekeeper is the algorithm and the algorithm is not looking out for your well being in the history of time like Colleen Ballinger she basically got in trouble with these weird messages weird like grooming like uncomfortable and like suddenly people like looked at her old

videos and she did a Gangnam Style she did a parody of that song Gangnam Style where she's just the way I tried to do with French earlier. You know how that was okay when I did that? It's not okay when it's Korean. She's pulling out the ching chong.

She's pulling out the ching chong. The tamagotchi. She also did single ladies in blackface, I want to say? Okay. Her lawyers claimed that it was the lighting, that she was actually doing wicked face, green face, which is still okay,

and the lighting made it look like blackface. But I don't know. I don't know. It wasn't good. And on top of it, it's all really bad. It's not like, wow, that's a good single ladies. I wish it was yeah not blackface but the dance moves are on point you can't it wasn't that my my thing is like i you know obviously

like bring down colleen ballinger miranda sing sucks ass uh etc but like there's there are people that are skating by who are not getting flack and that is these fucking gay guys that backup danced for her and all of these terrible videos. They are complicit, okay? They are complicit and they need to be sent to jail as well. Because they knew. They knew. They knew the gang of style.

They said, this is not going to go great. And then the part that she did, she basically, her apology, it's truly amazing to top bad apologies, but she did it in a song. Yeah, she did it in a song in the most millennial core way, which is she did it as a ukulele song, like a twee ukulele song,

which is electric chair, you know? Uh-huh. And here's the saddest part of the whole Colleen Ballinger, that if I go on Instagram and I try to go message Colleen Ballinger, if I were to do that, you will see, and this was from a long time ago, hey, Colleen, I would love to have you as a guest on the Downside podcast if you're ever in New York City.

Hey, girl, I'm such a big fan. And then when the thing happened, when the thing happened 10 months later, Rebecca, you know what? Never mind. Never mind. You know what, actually? Invitation revoked. Yeah, 10 months later, Rebecca. You know what? Never mind. Never mind. You know what, actually? Invitation revoked. Yeah, redacted.

Yeah. Our final segment. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessings. We got negative. We got pessimistic. I forgot to think of a blessing, to be honest. Okay, I'll go.

This is where we say something nice, something sweet. We're thankful for Russell. I'm going to be vague and sorry, but I found out this week I'm going to have a new job that I'm very excited about. I can't say what it is yet, but it's very exciting. Thank you, my manager, Tova, John Marco's

girlfriend, who has been so helpful in this process, and I'm very excited. You're going to make a great assistant, and I can't wait to have you on the team thank you tova it was an offer you didn't even have to audition for that shit good good for you yeah i uh i i don't know if i'm being honest being back at jfl the year after is very, very cool. And I got to be here longer. And even though I talk some shit about Montreal, I don't know. I've been feeling a little low on

New York. And I think it's partly because you guys sent all your fucking smoke to our city. I mean, it's really crazy. You weren't there. I was there. I was there for pride. And it was miserable. It was crazy. It felt apocalyptic. It felt like, you know how, I don't know You were? Yeah, I was there for Pride, and it was miserable. I mean, it was... It's crazy. It felt apocalyptic.

It felt like... You know how, I don't know, five years ago, all the global warming scientists were like, guys, if we don't do something in five years, it's going to be bad. And now, it's five years later. And there's moments where... And they go back to the scientists,

and they're like, hey, what do we do now? It's too late. It's just here. And it's just bad now. And now at some point we die. Is this your blessing? We're like... So, Montreal, the food here is phenomenal.

It takes a little longer. But I got a smoothie, and I've never seen this in anywhere in America where they made the smoothie, and then she took it off the blender, did a taste test with a spoon, and was like, three more blueberries, and put them in. And that kind of care, it shows, and it tastes, and I'm thankful to be in Montreal. So thank you for this great festival. Since your government is definitely losing money on this festival, for sure.

There's no way you're profiting. Do you have a blessing? Yeah, I mean, mine's sort of lame and easy, but my blessing is my boyfriend, for sure. I think to have someone who's so supportive, and I had an okay show last night, and I was texting with him, and he sent me a really nice video message to cheer me up. And to have somebody in my corner like that,

as much as I was saying it's difficult to have the cadence of going up as much as I used to, it also sort of balances out because now I have this person in my corner who's supporting me and it's nice that's very sweet I had a rough show last night too and I went to Tova and she said baby it's I'm here for work too

no Tova's the best thank you very much to Joel for being here it was an honor we were so lucky to get him Russell for flying all the way to Montreal thank you to much to Joel Kimbooster for being here. It was an honor. We were so lucky to get him. Russell for flying all the way to Montreal. Thank you to JFL Comedy Pro. This is The Downside. Good day. Bye-bye. You're listening to The Downside

with John Marco Cerezi.