The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #160 Bad Juju with Phoebe Robinson

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Comedian, writer, producer, podcaster extraordinaire Phoebe Robinson (Everything’s Trash, 2 Dope Queens) joins us along with guest co-host Jay Jurden to share the downsides of college roommates, workout classes that are too loud, being a multi-hyphenate where you write and star in your own show, and celebrity authors with ghostwriters. Gianmarco's dad's failed advances lead to his new biggest fan. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Phoebe Robinson on Instagram & Twitter See Phoebe on her Messy AF tour coming to a city near you this Fall/Winter: https://www.phoeberobinson.com/ Follow Jay Jurden on Twitter, Instagram, & TikTok See Jay in a city near you: https://linktr.ee/JayJurden Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC with Nurse Blake on October 2 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/694744879637 Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain. From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the buzziest films at Sundance Film Festival, A Real Pain. Written, directed, and starring Oscar nominee Jesse Eisenberg alongside Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin. Witness a hilarious and moving story about two mismatched cousins as they tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Welcome to The Downside. My name is Joe Marco Cerezi. I am here with guest co-host Jay Jordan. Hello. Russell Daniels, our regular, is currently understudying Josh Gad on Broadway's Gutenberg the Musical. Gutenberg the Musical. Broadway debut.

And we're here with our amazing guest, comedian, writer, podcaster, Phoebe Robinson. Phoebe Robinson. White House liaison. Take an old administration, right? They got you on the phone. We know. We know the info.

This is Michelle. Her and Michelle be texting. We don't, I mean, do we have each other's phone numbers? Yes. Okay. Okay. That's going to be a rough butt dial. Right?

I'm sorry, Michelle. But also, this man, this crackhead with Tucker Carlson that just said that he got a little taste of brown sugar before, while Michelle Michelle, number one, it's fake. We know it's fake. We know it's fake. Of course we know it's fake. Obama would, I think he'd have higher standards. I think it would be so much sexier.

Obama can do better. But, I mean, has Michelle been like, Phoebe, what do we need to do? No. She's not consulting me. I just think it's always sad when like i know everybody wants to have their like 15 minutes of fame but it's like you don't have to do it that way i'm just like get a like get a skill set you don't even have to have skills honestly it sounds like he does have some skills though no but you don't know who he's working him on you know how hard it is to

hold a crack pipe in one hand and suck the president off with the other? I think it has to be believable. You know what I mean? That's just like, it's so cuckoo bananas that it's just like, all right. Okay, so there was a very funny reveal. He was telling the story in one of the clips, and then he smiled and both front teeth were gone. I was like, nope. I just, I can't. Oh, yeah.

Not toothless. Can I do that? If you were, if a man had no teeth and you were going to hook up, it would be interesting. Maybe a new closed mouth, a smile. No, I am very, this is a bit elitist. Pro-teeth? I'm pro-teeth. I'm pro-teeth until I'm not.

That is highly elitist of you. How dare. This is what I have to say. I know we live in an age where we celebrate everyone's unique and different and vibrant personalities and looks and aesthetics. But I'm going to need the two in the front. I'm going to need both of them. Sorry, Stavros. I'm going to need both of them.

This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside Downside You're listening to The Downside The Downside With Gianmarco Cerezi This is The Downside This is a place where people can feel free to complain

And kvetch and moan And they can, you know They don't have to pretend to be grateful or thankful We can be dark Yes We can be honest about the hookups we had in the 90s Yes And the crack that we smoked

yes and the people with no teeth we got blowjobs from keep going Phoebe before we get to you I have something I do have to share

okay I my father I talk about my father on stage a lot and I feel like you know on stage people don't know

how much of the truth you're telling I felt like I was validated yes and I wanted to share a little extra that I got from, I got a message.

My father, he dates a lot. Yeah. He was a good-looking man, still is for 71. Mm-hmm. But I got a message. I've never gotten this kind of message before. It said,

you are so hilarious. That's great. And we'll end it there. That's where we're going to end it right there. No, I got, it said, you are so hilarious. I found you while performing a background check on your dad who asked me out. Suffice it to say, I did not date your dad, but I found one of the funniest comedians ever.

Okay. So I go, oh, thank you so much. That's very nice. Then she said, I would love to tell you the story that he told me that had me in stitches, but kind of worried me. I said, oh, I got to hear more. He's a very good looking man. Again, to reiterate, you have a question?

Yeah. I mean, your dad, he dates, dated a lot. We know about the multiple marriages. Dated my kindergarten teacher. A cheater. Definitely a cheater. Italian old school. Yeah.

Old school cheater. I don't think you get to say old school when you just mean it. Non-ethical, non-monogamy is what they call it back then. He dated your kindergarten teacher while you were in kindergarten or was it like later on? I don't know if it was official until I was in first grade, but definitely.

So my mom... And she still didn't give him good grades. I know. My mom got her fired. My mom always calls me because she actually listens. She corrects me. Yes. Basically, my mom says, allegedly, that the teacher would send love notes back to my father

that she would send via lunchbox. What? She put a message in my lunchbox to bring back to my father. I don't know if they were dirty or just like love you. That's just sloppy. It's sloppy,

but she was so cool. And I remember she slept over at the house once and I was like, what? That's a cool thing. Wait a second. That's not cool.

Wait a second. So you were taking naps in her classroom and she was taking naps at your house? I don't know how much sleeping was not cool. Wait a second. So you were taking naps in her classroom and she was taking naps at your house? I don't know how much sleeping was going on. Oh, my God. We did Halloween together.

No. And she had a daughter who was my age. Oh. And I had a big crush on her daughter. Wow. And it was beautiful. This is messy. Phoebe, can I tell you something?

Every time Gianmarco tells me a new layer of a story about his father or about his childhood, I go, oh, that's why you're like this. There are so many moments when I go, what are you so afraid of? Oh, you're afraid of this. I feel like part of why I talk about my dad so much on stage is because I feel like if people know who he is,

they'll realize how good I did considering the circumstances. You talk about your dad in therapy? That's the more important thing. Like, are you in therapy? Because not to pass judgment, but this is some stuff that should probably be worked through by a professional.

Yeah, and the therapist says, that's great. Kindergarten teacher, just close. I don't think it was as much him hooking up with the kindergarten teacher that was the problem. It was more like I became close to these women. And then when they broke up, they would just vanish from my life. Yes, yes, yes. Vanish.

Yes. And there was one, I've said it before, but when they broke up, they would have to have a secondary breakup with me. And I remember one woman, she sat me down. We played Monopoly a lot and brought me in the car. And I said, are we going to? She said, I'm going to be really busy at work. I don't think I'm going to be around as much anymore. I said, can we still play Monopoly

sometimes? She was like, sure, kid. I did see her again a year later with a new husband and a baby in her arms. Where's your mom in all of this? She married my dad's former lawyer. Gianmarco can't see a thimble

to this day without crying. He has it so rough. I will say this. I think that these women kind of coming in and out of your life and the fact that you had a bunch of insecurities around a number of things when you were a child, things that we've talked about, that definitely has made you such a good performer. So I'm so happy.

Thank you. Thank you. So I'm so happy. Thank you. Thank you. So I asked this story. And again, she gave me permission to share this. My father does not listen, so it's okay. So chapter one. Chapter one? Luckily, it's just one chapter.

Okay. She said, earlier this year, I decided to try online dating for the first time in my life. Good for you. Because I was new at this, I hadn't developed a sense of red flags. The first time I put my profile up, I got 500 replies in one day. Oh, okay. Okay, we get it. We get it.

Mostly blocking, deleting. Then I came across your father's letter to me. I can't remember what he said, but it was charming and sweet. That's how he gets them. Wow. That's how he gets them. So I decided to respond. Big mistake.

His next missive to me complimented that I was successful in business. Wow. Wow, feminist. You hear that, Phoebe? That's what these men do. They go after your brain.

These love bombs. Yeah, imagine if a guy was like, Phoebe, I love your book so much. How are you? I wouldn't believe that he read it. I'm like, you didn't fucking read it. He'd be like, nah, it's something about bell hooks, lowercase d. You know, I know the stuff.

He explained to me that his ex-wife, and he's talking about my mom, they got divorced in fucking 88. He doesn't say which ex-wife. He says his ex-wife. He's just compiling them. He explained to me that his ex-wife never appreciated how hard he worked and that she was a total bitch.

No. No. And a bit of a Jap. Jewish American princess. Oh, Lord. Okay, but he's also saying this as an Italian man. He's not saying this as a Jewish man. Right.

That's where I'm like, yeah, he can't say that. Yeah. He didn't say it. He typed it. My mom, she's Jewish. But she's not like Jap in the traditional Long Island sense of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How can I say it. He typed it. My mom, she's Jewish, but she's not like Jap and the traditional Long Island sense of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How can I say something?

She's something. Can I say something that will definitely get me in trouble? How much David Yerman does she own? What reference is that? That's jewelry. Oh, my God. This is what happens with boys. If Tova was here, Tova would be laughing.

Yes, Tova would get that. So normally I would just delete and block him at that point. Okay, good for you. You should have stopped right there. However, I was so stunned that he would say this to me, I decided to confront him about it. Oh my god. Don't give him an audience. Explain to him that he should not

be talking about his ex pejoratively like that, and that I was Jewish and took offense to that term. Oh my god. I was Jewish and took offense to that term. Ah! Oh my God. I was certain that he would be completely offended, but instead, he wrote me a really lovely and apologetic letter.

Your dad is very good at nagging. If men are good at apologies, it's because they've had a lot of practice. Wait, can I see a picture of him can I say something this old picture of his dad there are two of them that I've seen online

we're very close both of them he's a hot man this is old school but this is like Italian oh yeah he's so cute that's still the profile picture he's using okay do you have a closer to recent yes I will That's still the profile picture he's using. Okay.

Do you have a closer to recent? Yes, I will. Just so we can see what's up. Yeah, let me get it. Let me get it because it is important. That's bananas. There's a photo of Gianmarco's dad with this extremely hot woman that Gianmarco will every now and then like it'll pop up on social media and it's just like hot, very pretty woman with amazing boobs.

Gianmarco's dad is shirtless in the photo and everyone's like, Jesus Christ, Gianmarco, your dad pulls. But then did I tell you that my mom told me one year, she said, you know, you always post that picture, I'm pretty sure that's the woman your dad cheated on me with. And I was like, Mom.

And you were like, Mom, which woman? Come on now. Okay. This is somewhat recent. No, but I can see it. Yeah, he's still, listen, for 70? Yeah. He's still got it.

I can see it. And you're only a little bit taller than him, right? Yes, he's 6'2". Yeah. 6'2". That means back in the day he was 6'4". Yeah. 6'2". That means back in the day he was 6'4". Yeah, he was pulling

for sure. Huge cock. Yeah. Okay, so... No. No, quite normal. Okay. I'm going to leave this.

No, no, no. Phoebe. I've been on HBO. Do we not understand what my cardinal is? Phoebe, also, this is us setting you up with Jean-Marco's dad.

I want you to know. That's where this is going. I was certain that he would be offended. Wrote a nice apology. Something to the fact of I hope I didn't offend you. Da, da, da. He told me that he worked in remediation, something I understood as well because I used to run trade for the Environmental Protection Agency. Seems like a perfect woman for my father.

He proceeds to tell me the story about how he was remediating a site where Dr. Fisher, Field Fisher who's famous, had his first laboratory. He tells me that he found a bottle of arsenic written in Dr. Fisher's own handwriting. At this point, she says, I hope I'm not offending you. I'm sure your

dad is a character and your mom is a wonderful person. Okay, it's fine. He then tells me that he wished he still had that bottle of arsenic. It sounds like it's a collector's item, like a historical fact. But he's pretty sure that he gave it to his ex-wife. He then explains he decided to give it to her in the divorce. Given all the things that he said about her earlier, I was convinced that he had killed her.

So I deleted and blocked him. It did not occur to me that she got it in the divorce as a collector's item. And then, yeah, so basically she sent me the screenshot where he says this, and she was just in the mood where when she saw it, thought he was like, I gave it to my ex-wife. I cannot remember, and this is what he texted her. I cannot remember what I did with it. It's gone missing for a long, long time. I'm thinking maybe I gave it

to my ex-wife, but I'm not sure. Good night. Sleep well. That's also what he said to the ex-wife. And she said, I think it was the good night, sleep well that really got me. Oh, wow. This is a lot. Yeah, it is.

It all came, it just came into my inbox. My dad's dating life. My mom's boyfriends are not writing me. And she's got plenty. Maybe they don't own Instagram accounts. I will say this was bound to happen. Just statistically, as you get more popular, and both of y'all know this, as you get more popular and both of y'all know this as you get more popular the more weird connections not just online but like in new york will happen to you no matter

what like none of the three of us like we all know like if you have a public meltdown anywhere someone's gonna be like girl don't i know you from uh like if you miss a train they're gonna be like oh that's that comic I like. He's running. He seems really mad for some reason. Like, this stuff is going to happen more if y'all mark it. But at least it's to unite your parents. Your parents are together.

Yes. They're still together. So lucky. 40, maybe 43 years, I think. That's beautiful. Yeah, 43 years. Oh, my goodness. I think. That's beautiful. 43 years. My mom and dad, they got divorced and my dad died when I was 15 and he

left me a new baby sister and now when that happens you're always like, okay, alright. We got more people. Do you get on well with her? Yeah, my brother's closer with her but it was definitely an adjustment period because I was like, no, there's no way.

This is impossible. This is what happens on TV. You know, Shonda Rhimes, where are you? Because this isn't, no, no, no. Are there any downsides to having parents that stay together that long? Is there anything or is your life incredible, at least on that front? You seem very successful for having such good parents. That is true.

That's a very good point. Yes, Phoebe. Are you telling me that just misogyny and racism was enough to fuel you to be successful? Not also parental strife?

I mean, my parents are good people. I'm from Ohio. See? Uh-huh. You guys, that's where they're at. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It wasn't Cleveland, but it's near Clevelandveland right no i'm from cleveland you're from cleveland yeah yeah suburbs of cleveland so i grew up in beffer heights only people who are like from cleveland like what what's the other one there's shaker heights shaker heights there's soul and they're and you know i went there recently for a wedding it was beautiful i got lunch at this astounding sandwich place it's amazing yeah it's great. I got lunch at this astounding sandwich place. It's amazing. Yeah, it's great. I don't like it politically anymore because, I mean, it used to be a purple state, but now it's pretty red, which is unfortunate.

But yeah, they got married, my parents, when he was, my dad was 20, my mom was 24. Ooh. I know. I know. Opposite of my dad. I know. In a big way. So they've just been

he couldn't even drink at his wedding that's hilarious they got married at City Hall which is like so cute and like that's actually what I would want to if I ever get married it's like cause I have friends who are you know getting married and it's like oh this costs

$50,000 the dress the flowers the boat I was like just go to City Hall and then's like oh this costs fifty thousand dollars oh this the dress the flowers the boat i was like just go to city hall and then just like i don't know host a lunch or something with yeah but why would they like that i feel like now that's more common but back then i feel like people would have been like what are you doing i mean my parents aren't like big on pomp and circumstance to be honest that's nice like, they don't even wear their wedding rings. Like, they're just very, like, low-key. Yeah, even when I was a kid, I don't remember my parents ever wearing their wedding rings. Like, their wedding rings. They were just always very, like, low-key, like, under the radar, not trying to bring

a lot of attention to themselves. But, yeah, no, they're really sweet. I mean, I think my dad and i tend to butt heads a lot just because we're similar but also very different in a lot of ways so that's like the one thing but um yeah and then my brother got married to his college sweetheart so i'm the sort of like black sheep who's like almost 40 and out here single and no kids but yeah yeah and your brother uh older younger he's older he turns he's not shy he turns 43 in december yeah yeah yeah when did he get married he so he and liz oh my god i feel like they dated for like

six or seven years and they got married it was after i i remember it was after i graduated college um big wedding they got married it was in i believe it was in dc because they met at george washington university um i think it was like a big, I don't want to say it was a big wedding because my brother and sister-in-law aren't like that. Maybe it was like 100 people. I don't know. That's good.

I think it was like two bananas. We had like, we were like, it was like 60. Your wedding was lovely. Your wedding was perfect. 60. I think when it gets too big,

the only reason to have a big wedding, I think the whole concept of a wedding is you feel pressure to not leave because now you've involved even more people in the illusion of your permanent relationship. You have a 500-person wedding. Now you've got to write 500 people like, hey,

just so you know. Also, at that point, it's a logistical nightmare. 60 people was a lot of planning. 500 people, you need a staff. You need a team to plan anything over 200 people.

200 people? That's insane to me. People do it. People do it all the time. With my family, I can't have my dad on the same side as my mom. It's going to be so many different aisles of different sections. The seating arrangement will be so calculated. Honestly, have your dad off in the corner somewhere.

Yes. Dad, your table's in a different state. You're going to be joining via Zoom. We have the dad booth. Yeah, it's true. That's part of why marriage doesn't mean as much to me because I don't have the dad booth. Yeah, it's true. That's part of why marriage doesn't mean as much to me because I don't have the family situation. I went to this wedding in Cleveland,

and it was Jewish, and all the families were there, and that's why you do it. It's for the families. Yeah. Of course, yeah. It's also like if you've been together long enough that you want to at least have some sort of public display of your affection and your

commitment to each other like gary's and i we've been together for 11 years we've been married one year so like people were like whoa why and it was like we finally had the time we finally had the resources we finally had the inspiration and we had the location and we had the ability to plan it out so it was truly just being like okay now can. I think a lot of people get into the, we have to. You needed all the time just to write your vows. Yeah. You needed years to put that together. You were running that at Mike's.

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, and, you know, every now and then people are like, oh, like, do gay guys even care about getting married? I mean, we definitely care about health insurance and stuff. So, like, yeah, we're fighting for that. So tell me the downsides growing up in Cleveland. definitely care about health insurance and stuff so like yeah we're fighting for that so um so tell me the downsides growing up in in cleveland did you did you were you glad you were raised there what was it like yeah it's a pretty lebron cleveland so tell us the downside no i mean here at my age i'm gonna be 39 at the end of the month i think i've been in the city since i was 17 going on 18 because i moved out here to go to

pride institute i very much am glad that i had a suburban upbringing just because city life is just it's not even like oh it's so fast paced in the suburbs or not it's more that it's just a different kind of mentality i feel like i think like city's like go go go hustle hustle hustle blah blah blah and there and i feel like in the suburbs you can like remember to like take a beat and like oh remember your life enjoy your life there's more than just like hustling so like i very much you know i'm glad that it did that now at the time i was itching to get out of there because i was like i just knew I wasn't a suburban person and I was just like,

I always wanted to live in New York, so I was like, I could not wait. I was like a C student. I really just like did not apply myself. But you got into Pratt. Yeah, but I tried to get into NYU

and they were like, your grades are trash now. That's where the letter's at? Yeah, pretty much. It was just like, your GPA's not good enough um did you apply to nyu no i applied i didn't get in so i feel that pain i can't feel that pain you know i i went to state schools in and around my state because i wanted a bunch of money and then

new york wasn't even like on the fact that you were in ohio like i can't wait to go to new york that to me is like so that so, that's so intentional. And so, as a 17-year-old, I wouldn't think about New York. How did you know New York was for you? Well, because I was so obsessed with the TV show Felicity. Okay. Like, freshman year of high school. And I was like, oh, my God, I want that to be me.

Like, Felicity had a job at, like, Dean and DeLuca. Okay, yeah. And, like, two guys fighting over her. All right. And, like, you know, like, it just was like, oh, New York just looked like it was just had this energy. And I was like, oh, my life is going to start. What channel was Felicity on? It was on WB.

WB before CW. Oh, yeah. Remember the big deal with Felicity was the hair? Yeah, when she cut her hair. Yeah. But Keri Russell has that. I mean, honestly, I don't like to say representation matters all the hair. Yeah, when she cut her hair. Yeah. But Keri Russell has that, I mean, honestly, I don't like to say

representation matters all the time, but to see a naturalista, to see someone with, to see a white woman with natural curly hair. That's what it was? It was, no,

people just loved her hair. People truly loved the character Felicity, but her hair was so iconic. Imagine, this is what it was like, imagine if, imagine if

Sarah Jessica Parker like cut her hair. It was like that level of like people being like, what? Yeah, the ratings went down after she cut,

but it's not because she cut her hair. That was a scapegoat. The writing went down. The first season is phenomenal. Still watchable? It still holds up.

Ooh. And then it gets a little bit like, oh, you guys made some not good creative choices. And then the finale was kind of garbage. Who played her? Keri Russell.

She's still around? Yes. Yes. She's on the Netflix show, The Diplomat. She was in one of the Mission Impossible movies. She was in that movie, Waitress. When you see her face, you're going to be like, oh, yes. Oh, my God.

I can't believe you would ask if she's still around. Here's the crazy part. Keri Russell was so good at being Felicity that black people to this day probably just go, Felicity. It's so true. Turn around, Felicity. She was so iconic. She used to send voice letters to her friend Sally, who was played by Janine Garofalo. Okay.

So you would hear her voice. It was so good. It's such a perfect late, late 90s TV show. But I saw that and I was like, I think that could be my life. Like I just was like, I don't know,

like I wasn't cool. Like I was funny in high school, but like I didn't have a boyfriend. You did theater or talent show or just? I did mock trial. I did like background on some theater stuff. That's cool. Mock trial. I wish I had done mock trial. I did like background on some theater stuff. That's cool. Mock trial.

I wish I had done mock trial. It just means I know how to argue. It's not great. I did youth leg. I did youth legislature. Oh, cool. You called it youth leg? Yeah, youth leg.

That was with the cool kids? I love that. You got to go to D.C. on a sleepaway trip. Got my first hand job. It was great. I had two girls on that trip. Got my first hand job. It was great. I had two girls on that trip. What is it like for the adults when they're like, oh, yeah, we're taking these kids on this trip. And really it's just a way they can all finger each other.

I mean, listen, I don't know what those adults thought. But we were, like, pretending to pass bills and, like, pretending to be sinners and having anonymous sexual, you know, dalliances. How old were you? Like sinners. Um, I was 16.

Okay. Good for you. That's, that's like, that's like my first, that was my first growing up. It's still a core memory

to this day. Was it a different country? Was it like Russia? No. You go to DC, you pretend to be a rep. You pretend to be a congressperson.

They're not flying high schoolers internationally. D.C. and you pretend to be a rep. You pretend to be a congressperson. They're not flying high schoolers internationally. No. No. I don't know. I just see it. So what you're thinking is model UN. Model UN.

That's what I was thinking. That's similar. Okay, okay, okay. So you can represent countries sometimes that model UN, but then sometimes it's just white people doing the accent. You're like, no, you don't got to do all that. Oh, no. I'm kidding.

You see, there was something on TikTok. It was an old episode of Tyra Banks. Was it America's Top Model? America's Top Model, yeah. Oh, Phoebe, did you watch all the? Okay. Okay, this clip was they got assigned different races. Yeah.

And they got handed a kid of that actual race. Yeah. And it was a Got Milk ad. Yeah. It was a hat on a hat on a hat. Yeah. And they didn't care about race swapping hard. Oh. Yeah. And it was a got milk ad. Yeah. It was a hat on a hat on a hat. Yeah. And they didn't care about race swapping hard. Oh.

Yeah. And also when they said it, people would be like, ooh, I'll be Hawaiian. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It was horrifying. It was not great. But it was a different time.

Like, I know people say it all the time. Sure. But it really was a different time where it's like, we're just going to put some like banana shit on TV and like people are going to tune in. And like we did. You know what I mean? Of course. Well, especially now that you've been on TV for so long, there will come a time where you'll look back at something you did.

Yeah, of course. And it'll be the equivalent of whatever this is. I mean, maybe not as bad as that, but I'm sure I've said some stuff that's like not, that like won't, uh-oh, something, my headphones went out. Your headphones went out? Okay, it's still recording. Okay, it's back in. But I haven't said anything as wild as that, but I'm sure there are things that are going to like not hold up well. I think that's sort of kind of like comedy in a lot of ways. Like even people who are sort of like they're ahead of their time.

There's always, there's something about the essence of comedy that's rooted in like what's going on around you. You know what I mean? So it's hard to escape that, but I hope I don't say anything. What was the downside of moving to New York at 18? What was not Felicity like about New York City?

Well, it was definitely like, you know, it's like when you're trying to make friends, like it's really where you're like, oh, I have to like learn how to make friends because high school is just,

I don't know, it just feels different, but it's like you're, like my roommate was like never around. She had this Tamagotchi pet thing that she would always like like, leave in the room. And it would, like, go off.

And, like, her parents would call. Did you call CPS? You know you can call them. You can call them folks if they leave their Tamagotchis out. I didn't. But I was like, this bitch is ridiculous. And her parents would, like, call. And I'd have to be like, oh, she's not around.

I don't know where she is. Like, it was just like, why the fuck am I? You ever go to the Tamagotchi and go, like, there's shit everywhere. I found it. I found it. I found it finally. I don't remember what I did with it. But so this was the thing. So it was like me and my roommate,

we had our bedroom and then we shared a shower. And then there was like another room on the other side. So sometimes I can hear like my roommate on like the other side of the shower, her and her boyfriend having sex. That's what's up. In the shower. And it was so annoying because there was one time

I had to like pee so bad and I was like holding it, holding it and they were fucking in the shower. Oh, wait, whoa, whoa. I thought they were fucking in the bedroom. They were fucking in the shower? They were fucking in the shower so I had to pee in my trash can.

No. Yes. No, Phoebe. Yes. No. Because I was going to pee in my bed, and I didn't want to pee in my bed because I got nice bed linens from Room Essentials Target. I wasn't going to pee in the bed. Pee in the sink.

I didn't want to go into the bathroom. No, but the kitchen sink. You got to get high up. We could do that. No, we didn't have a kitchen sink. bathroom. No, but the kitchen sink. You got to get high up. We can do that. No, we didn't have a kitchen sink. Not in the freshman dorm. Whoa. Oh, wait a second.

So was there a bathroom anywhere else on the floor? I mean, so there were different dorms. So there were one dorm where there were communal bathrooms and stuff, but I didn't have that dorm. So it was sort of. Yeah, I had a sweet that i shared you know you shared the bathroom with the other you thought you were getting a good deal yeah i was like oh this is like nice you know i got like my little dell like my pc dell i was like burning like you

know music offline like i thought it was it was like one of these bad boys like a thick ass computer you remember those when laptops used to be like- It wasn't a laptop. I had like the desktop with the giant computer that you sit on. Oh, with the CPU in it? I'm really old. No, no, no, no. In a dorm room, that's big.

Yeah. That was huge. You got in trouble with that. Yes. My parents hooked it up. Yeah, but that was probably the worst part was having to pee in a trash can because my suite mate was fucking in the shower.

Then when they're done, you took the trash can and flung it on them. I would have done that. I would have gone to the shower and done the over the, you know that old prank?

Yeah, but then you guys worry she does that then that guy comes very fast because he loves pee and now that's how you find out

about a family. Yeah, it was not great. There was a trash bag in the trash can so I just tied it up and then like... It is part of growing up. The worst...

This is not... I'm not proud of this. What? I one time hooked up with someone in the hostel going around Europe and it was like

a 16 bed. Okay. So it was like a 16-bed. Okay. So what's going on? You hooked up while those people were in bed? I think it might have been empty, but it was a space that someone could walk in so they could go to bed. Yeah.

But a 16-person hostel for 21-year-olds, there's going to be some fucking. There's going to be not even some fucking. There's going to be a lot of like Hey Don't come down here I'm on the top bunk You're like

Hey just stay up there What were you like in college Were you fucking in the showers I never fucked in the showers The craziest place I had sex In college I was like a dorm

And a bed Oh okay I got Because theater department I got My fair share of blowies in different places yeah lots of cars uh one time on campus like outside that was like a fun little you know a little little treat for me that's cute right i made out and the first guy i ever kissed i made

out with him in the costume shop, in the wardrobe. I was like literally in the closet, in a huge closet, making out with this guy. And we kissed. And I remember being like, what am I doing? I'm doing gay stuff. Let me get back to sewing. Like it was very, I was like, stop it. I'll say his name.

I was like, stop it, Mackenzie. How dare you? But yeah, I was, I mean, I didn't hook up in crazy places until I moved to New York. I swear, when I first started making out with people, I was like, I was ready to make out anywhere. And I was like, fuck anywhere. And then I hit some age. And I remember dating someone who loved to make out all the time.

And I suddenly, like Eve and Adam realizing they were naked, I was like, we can't just do this in front of people. It's making people uncomfortable. But that's what you talk about when you talk about these city kids. Because these city kids, we can't just do this in front of people. It's making people uncomfortable. But that's what you talk about when you talk about these city kids because these city kids, they don't give a fuck.

You're on the 6 train, there are going to be some Latino teenagers making out on top of you. They grew up. They don't have parking lots. Of course they're going to make out on top of you.

Sure, that's the equivalent of the blowjob in the car. It's the blowjob on the 6. Let them kiss. Oh, gosh. To be young and do that. That's so cute. Phoebe says wistfully,

baby back when I was your age. If I had the energy and the time. I have neither. Before I forget this, I have to bring it up. Okay. You've been glamping on Governor's Island, right?

Oh, yeah. It was really nice. So my girlfriend and Iing on Governor's Island, right? Oh, yeah. It was really nice. So my girlfriend and I went to Governor's Island to do shrooms for the first time. My first time, not hers. Okay. Big deal for me. Yes. And I forgot that you can't go that close to the city and not see people.

Yeah. So I was in red sweater, green sweatpants. I was high off my mind. I was eating the food. And then Tovo goes, that's Phoebe Robinson over there. I go, oh my God. We were there at the same time. We were there at the same time.

And I was like, I was wearing the biggest sweatpants, wrong colors, never done shrooms before, eating with my hands and it was, it was, it was, I was glad we hadn't met. That's so funny.

Because we saw you there and I mean, it was, it's the most, this place was amazing, at least by my standards, it was amazing. It's so cute.

Outdoor tent, but wore a heated mattress. Where on Governor, I've only been to the beach part of Governor's Island, like the Gitano Beach restaurant club situation they have there now for gay parties. I've never been to like...

It's called Collective Retreats. Yeah. I can't remember where it is specifically on the island, but if you went for a walk around the island, you would definitely walk like, walk back. Because they have, like, quite a bit. It's like they have, like, a cute little, like, dining area. Like, people can sit out and stuff.

Like, it's a nice vibe. But I, like, booked that, like, I think, like, a couple of months in advance. I was like, I need to just, like, take some time off. Because I was just, like, working, working, working, working so hard. some time off because i was just like working working working working so hard and then that was like the when i went was like i want to say the day or not the day but like maybe like the week that everything's trash got canceled because i remember like all my studio execs like calling me and i was like i don't want to fucking talk to you guys so i didn't pick up anyone's call and i just went yeah yeah yeah is that is that how you deal with bad news

you're like i'm gonna go unplug i think it was honestly the universe knew that weekend was going to be that i just randomly picked that weekend and then like a couple months later like you know everything's trash got canceled and i was like well i still have this thing so i guess i'll let go and so i just went by myself. And it was nice. I went for walks and read books and watched some stuff I downloaded on my iPad. Isn't it crazy that you can get away from the city that quickly? Yeah.

And just kind of be like, listen, this isn't the wilderness. But it is just not the city. Yeah. And it was my first time ever going there. And now I've done a couple 5Ks there, because I started running this past spring, just to have a hobby, and

I've always tried to run, I've just never been able to figure it out, and I figured it out, so now I signed up for a half marathon that I'm doing next spring. Was that 13 miles, is that right? 13.1, yeah. I feel like I've always thought if I ever ran that much, something's given out.

Oh, you think? Something. No, you work up to it. I started really running in earnest in April, and so I have worked my way up. And now I've, last weekend I ran seven miles, and that was the most I ran at one time. But I didn't start out trying to run seven miles.

Music or no? Yes. I love to run seven miles. Music or no? Yes. I love to run with music. People who do it with no, I put them on a watch list. That's crazy. Those people have something going, but there's still something going on in their head. They're not just thinking foot, foot, foot, foot. They're thinking of

something. I'm getting stoned. If I'm ever doing that much of a running, I like to go to a stall cycle. A little bit stoned if i'm ever doing that much of a running like i like to go to soul cycle yeah a little bit stone oh fucking hate i'm not a fan because they i think they keep my shirt on but why don't you like it same reason yes they won't let you take your shirt off that's why i hate soul cycle no it's like i took it in la this year with a co-worker and it's like just stupid stuff where it's like you're out of your seat and they're making you like do push-ups on the handlebar and i'm like that's actually unsafe what you're asking me to do is unsafe to like the so this guy like listen i think all the instructors are like in their element it's their time shine. So like he had a remote and was like turn on disco ball and was like, I was like, I actually don't like to work out like this.

Like I, I am very like, I want to get in there. I want to do the work. I don't need, you don't need to have a jazzy personality for me to fucking get the job done. Like I just like an old school. And so it was too much like bullshit. I was like, fuck off. I just want to like burn some calories for an hour and then bounce that was such a specific trend and such a specific era in kind of fitness training i was when i first moved new york city i was a personal

trainer at david barden aster place and so now it's new york sports club aster and um for a while fitness pop-ups cycling pop-ups specifically were looking for bright effervescent they didn't say it but faggots to to teach people and some people are like oh my gosh i love my cycling instructor and this is what they didn't showcase some people were like okay girl you're doing a lot yes i'm just on a bike because sometimes what people want out of a personal trainer is hey give me a plank now yes okay i'm doing it it's like no no no you're not doing it fix it stay stay let's go let's move again sometimes sometimes it gets a little bit confusing if your brain is like oh this person's telling me what to do but in the same breath they're like all right girl i mean only if you want to it's like no you have to, but in the same breath, they're like, all right, girl. I mean, only if you want to. It's like, no, you have to.

They always struggle with that. They always talk about get in shape, but also feel good. But it's like, we know why we're here at SoulCycle. We're not here for the jam. That's the dichotomy. I feel like I like people who yell at me. I want you, if you were my trainer, I'd say yell at me.

You don't need to be yelled at. This is another dad thing. This is a dad thing. Listen, you're a goddamn adult. Do the sit-up. I'm not going to yell at you. See, but even that, that's what I want. I don't want to yell at you.

No. I'm not going to yell at you, you piece of shit. Oh, God. What kind of trainer, like, are you very just like Cold? No I was just very direct And I was very I had like a very good rapport with any of my clients Like before the session

But when the session started I would always be like Okay so we're gonna do this and this and this We're gonna start here Let's go And there was always like an air of like Oh are we gonna have fun? I was like we're gonna go

Listen it's going to happen So let's do it What classes are you take because it sounds like you walk in and they put on music and you're like oh music i so i am a peloton thought i love which which teachers so i have the bike and i have the treadmill so i love adrian williams is so hot i bumped into him at dumbo house and and I literally was so stressed out. When I met Cody in person, I was like, oh, okay. He's very handsome. I was like, there's a lot of man there. Cody's my guy.

I always go to Cody if I'm on the Peloton. Hey, Cody, I'm going to send this clip to him. Cody, that's amazing. Listen, I have never been more jealous of a bike seat in my entire life. I just want to put a sticker of my face on the bike seat. Cody's a hottie and funny and nice. Do you hook up with Cody?

I've never hooked up with Cody. Don't do that here. Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you asking would I? No. Clearly, you just said you'd be the seed. I'm aware.

Cody. I want Cody to do the podcast. He's my favorite. Can I tell you something, Jean-Marco? The thing that you just said, I did not expect it to end with, I want Cody to do the podcast. You hear him, people? He went, I want Cody to do the podcast.

Listen, that can be a lot of code. My girlfriend, the first thing I posted about her, I said, oh, you ever meet someone you just want to do a podcast with? She was so mad. She was like, you dumb motherfucker. That's the first step for me. I love them all just sims tune day oh you know you know the peloton family tune day callie's good there's a lot of great people but i for me i like my preference is to work out in the morning even though tonight i'm gonna work

out tonight but i like to work out in the morning i actually actually, I don't like a lot of like, like I was taking like rumble boxing classes and I was like, I was like, I don't want, this is too loud. It is too loud. I like for my exercise to be not meditative, but like it's like my me time. So even if I'm doing like a Peloton class

where I'm like lifting weights and there's a playlist, like, and they're talking, you know, they'll I'm like lifting weights and there's a playlist, like, and they're talking, you know, they'll do stories and whatnot, but it is really like, okay, it's about the actual like exercise. Yes.

And so that's what I like. And I like to lift weights and run and do Pilates. And like, I really am passionate about exercising. So I just feel like there's so many times where people just like want to hang out with someone and pretend like they're working out. And I'm like like there's so many times where people just like want to hang out with someone and pretend like they're working out.

And I'm like, that's a waste of money. There's a new one in New York. It's like Rumble-ish, but they have a full service bar. No. So you work out, you bar,

you club. It looks like a crazy. Ridiculous. I refuse to go there. And Rumble was wild too because Rumble had like a bunch of celebrity investors. Bieber. Bieber.

Bieber. What's his name who doesn't have any writers? Oh. What? Oh, yeah. Right? That's the correct answer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was a big, my sister used to work at Rumble in LA. Yeah. Bieber would come in. It's so funny. My husband helped

found Rumble in New York. So like there is like also like. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Right. Yeah. People would come in. It's so funny. My husband helps found rumble in New York. So like there is like also like. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Right. It's just not for me. Hey, guess what,

it wasn't for me either. I did two of them. But also like Scooter Braun. Scooter Braun. Can't wait to see what's going on. Some of that money.

I think for some of us the workout is so awful to do. You're like, I need to be blinded and deaf to just get through this it's black lights and then like rap that that instructor likes and then kind of boxing and then mostly victoria's secret models just taking pictures afterwards and it's like you're you're straining

to hear the instructor over the loud music and it's like this is annoying and i don't actually think i'm like and you know how they get you because boxing training sessions the the real work is one-on-one work so like if you really want to know how to box then they go oh well you actually need to sign up with a so it's kind of an upsell in the sense that like you can't get one-on-one work in that class exactly i have there's one it's it's Core. It's like the Pilates machine one, but some classes they have teachers where they just kind of talk the whole time like this and they never give you a break and you don't understand a single fucking word that they're saying.

Yeah, I hate that. Some teachers, some exercise teachers are like, guys, listen to me. It's like, no, it's not us. It's you. Some teachers are bad. They'll be like, striped shirt, striped shirt, what are you doing? What are you doing? I did not say do that yet. Striped shirt. And you're like, is it me? I'm in striped shirt. What are you doing? What are you doing? I did not say do that yet. Striped shirt. And you're like, is it me?

I'm in a striped shirt. I would love to see you teach SoulCycle. No, I couldn't teach SoulCycle. I just learned how to ride a bike during the pandemic. Nice. I still don't know how to ride a bike. I don't either. Whoa.

Really? What's the downside of not? Because as a recent convert, I like biking. I know. I don't know how to ride a bike or swim. And I feel like I wish I knew how to do sort of like carefree activities like that. Swimming is kind of level-based, though. Because you can swim or you can be very good at swimming.

Riding a bike is kind of baseline. Yeah. So I think for swimming, I would just like to be able to go on vacation. My friend and I, my bestie and I, we went to Nice this summer. And she went in the ocean. And I was like, I'll go in up to my hips. But that's it. I wish I could just go.

Take a lesson. Do you ever want to take a lesson? I would love to. I just wonder. Swimming, because it's just something that I was thrown into a pool one day. And it's hard for me. And it's not in a cruel way but i'm just like just go like this right just go like well your body you you like

kind of intuitively know how to tread water which is the final step of swimming that like most people are scared of because like swimming and like swimming from point a to point b like a front crawl that can be taught pretty quickly. Treading water and having the endurance and knowledge of your buoyancy is hard. Especially as an adult. Because you crash. Your instinct is, I gotta get out.

I gotta get out. I meant to say, Moses was going to do the podcast one day. He did it eventually. I love Moses. There was a hawk on set and something was going wrong with the podcast one day. He did it eventually. I love Moses. There was, I guess, a hawk on set and something was going wrong with the hawk. And so he couldn't make the take.

A hawk? But there was an animal. A hawk? So we had this episode of Everything's Trash where my character was going to be featured in this timeout magazine thing. And I was like, the only way I can really make this badass is like with a hawk

because like there's all these like black like black celebs who were like usher like has a picture with a hawk like all these people like oh gosh i don't think it was a red tail hawk but that is actually fun funnily enough in my old, before I moved into my new place, I had two red-tailed hawks, which is really rare, come onto my balcony and they were eating a pigeon. Like they were taking turns. That's hot. And so. This is the picture of Moses. Oh, yeah, that's an owl.

This is what we got when we said, where are you, Moses? Yeah, it's an owl. Yes, we had an owl. Yeah, it was an owl. Great horned owl. This is what we got when we said, where are you, Moses? It's an owl. Yes, we had an owl. It was an owl. Great horned owl. But a red-tailed hawk, so I got into it with my astrologist.

So it was just like very much a signal of like massive change is going to happen in your life. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what that means. They don't normally get near people. Yeah. So that was like crazy. Are you happy you left that pigeon out now? That was yeah so that was like crazy are you happy you left that pigeon out now that was like it was so crazy because i like slept in it was like while

we were shooting i think i had a day where i wasn't shooting till the afternoon so i could sleep in a little bit and i didn't feel like going to set even though i could have just to do producer stuff so i was like okay i'll just go i'll sleep in and so i heard like a little bit of noise and where i live was like a busy street so i was like oh it's I'll just go. I'll sleep in. And so I heard, like, a little bit of noise. And where I live was, like, a busy street. So I was like, oh, it's probably just someone outside being, like, annoying. And so I, you know, eventually I get out of bed. I was like, oh, I'll just, like, make tea or something. So I walked to the fridge.

And so it's, like, the kitchen and then faces the balcony. And I just turned and I saw this one hawk going to town on this like pigeon and making like you know like when you eat something it tastes good. They're making all these sounds. You're telling me the hawk was like It was. It was making sounds like it was loving it so much and then the other

hawk was like standing watch and then they would switch Save some for me. Yes and they would switch places and the other one would switch places and the other one would go eat and the other one would stand watch and I was like

this is so nuts I have video of it I'll show it to you guys and then like a few weeks later I had or maybe like a couple months later

there was one that came down to they shit all over my balcony alright so one was on the bottom like chilling on the floor. One was on like the railing and then one was like above the railing and they were all just

sort of looking around and I was like, I have to move out of this apartment. The universe is telling me to get out because it's a place I lived in with my ex and I broke up with him. So I think it was just like bad juju. And so like I left. I was like, I can't be here anymore. I have to move out. I love, I love animals. bad juju and so like i left i was like i can't be here anymore i have to move out i i love i love

animals i specifically love animals like a red-tailed hawk because like tobias from animorphs yeah stuck as a red-tailed hawk that could have been tobias that could have been could have been to eden pigeon but it was crazy are you were you scared scared or were you just like this is weird well it was just like you never that's like what you see on like richard attenborough's like narrated you don't expect to see that like six feet from where you are yeah and so it was just the city has it was crazy new york city has the highest density of peregrine falcons because of the pigeons so like we like it's so funny because like you can be like oh the city we control the city but no just nature like the like envelops you and goes in and around you so

like new yorkers like the city we don't care about animals and then like you realize oh no holy shit like raccoons in central park know where people go so they go at dusk right when people are leaving like just eat people's stuff. Like, nature will win. Of course. That was a fun part of COVID, was the things of nature, like, coming back into the wild. Oh, yeah. Because they were like, oh, it's cool now. Yeah, yeah.

Animals come out in the daytime, like, humans are sick. Okay, I'm sorry about your grandma anyway. Are you, like, an animal guy? You see a raccoon, you have to be like, don't pet that raccoon. I will never touch a wild animal, but I do love animals. I'm like one of those. I was a zoo books

kid. You know, like, they're different type of gays. And so, like, I was like an early on, like, animal gay. You're in a zoo book gay. Yes, you have. You can give me a piece of paper. I have to write down all the different kinds of gays I've heard of in my life. Then why do we categorize ourselves with animals, Gianmarco, if we don't like zoology? That's a good point.

Yes, he says to a wolf. Who put the zoo bouquet in charge of the... A zoo bouquet. Yeah, Ranger Rick and zoo books. Did you have favorite animals growing up? In Ohio? Do they got bears in Ohio? No.

Sure. I don't know. I was never a big animal person. in Ohio? No. Sure. I don't know. I was never a big animal person. I'm still not. Okay. They're fine. Yeah. But I'm not like...

You put one in your TV show. That was a... I know, but that was for jokes. But that was like really... I was so scared about the owl. Yeah. Because the thing is like,

I love like writing things and then it's like, oh, I have to like actually do it. Uh-huh. And so like the show writer, I was like, the show writer, and I was like, I need to talk to you. And he like held my hand then it's like oh i have to like actually do it uh-huh and so like the show writer i was like at the show when i was like i need to talk to you and he like held my hand and i was like i'm really nervous this is like stressing me out he was like you don't have to do it he was like we can like you know whatever we can get a puppet yeah he was like you do not

have to do this if you don't want to do it and like just someone being like oh you don't have to do it just like free me to be like okay it's don't have to do it just freed me to be like, okay, it's fine. I was like, well, just rally. So I did it. It feels insane because it was just right here. I'm holding it and it's just like, it's wild. I'd never held an owl before.

You were holding a dinosaur. It was really cool. I was kind of like, when it was over, I was like, oh, yeah, that was worth it. It was worth it. We did that once. There was really cool. I was kind of like, when it was over, I was like, oh yeah, that was worth it. It was worth it. We did that once. There was some summer camp I did where they had animals and the owl shit on me. Second, I got the owl shit on me.

At the age where that was embarrassing, that would be funny, but at that age, it was like, ugh. That's good luck, though. I've been shit on by a pigeon. It's good luck. Now, where? Where did that start? I don't know where it started, but the rumor has it. Someone got shit all over them. They couldn't go home to change. And they were like, you're not going to change?

And they're like, it's good luck. Or someone got shit on them, noticed the shit, stopped for a second, car goes zooming by, runs for red light, and they go, oh my god. Yes. Good luck. Thanks for looking. Thanks for looking. You know what I mean? I feel like a pigeon came up with that at the pigeon marketing meeting they're like first of all first of all

does everyone have bread okay cool the waiter will come around with something secondly how do we convince humans that us shitting on them is a good thing any idea okay frank what Any idea? Okay, Frank, what you got? Good luck. Good luck. Okay. All right. It works. Works every time. Y'all afraid of ghosts? How about ghost peppers? It's the moment you've been waiting for.

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Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats?

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Yes, which is no more. Which is no more. Yeah. Oh, you're candid about that. Some people are weird. Some people are like, which, who knows? Yeah, some people get weird. Well, it's just like, you know, they canceled it last year.

It was really annoying, frustrating, and I did not. It is what it is. Yeah, and they also canceled, you know, they canceled it last year. It was really annoying, frustrating. And I did not. It is what it is. Yeah. And they also canceled on my family, my cousin, Jordan Carlos. You know. You guys are related? No.

But I tell people that because we're both from Mississippi. Oh, my God. People always. It could be. Who knows? People used to tag us in photos as the other person when I wore my glasses a lot more. Really? Yeah. And then I was like, Jordan, they're always saying we look alike.

Isn't it racist for all these white people to think we look alike, that we know each other? He was like, I know, Jay. That's right. Where are you from? I was like, oh, I'm from Mississippi. He's like, what part? I was like, Jackson. He was like, oh, my cousin went to Callaway.

I was like, I went to Murrah. Maybe we are related. You know what? Sometimes white people get it right. That must have happened a lot with tagging. Like back in the Facebook days where people were all manually tagging. You know who tagged?

Mamadou and Jordan Carlos. White people from basically 2016 all the way up until 2020. Oh, God. That's so humiliating. The way they would tag me as one of them or, like, compliment me on a joke about being from Africa or compliment me a joke about my... Or just say they saw me on Girl Code.

Whichever one he was on. I got mistaken for Nicole Byron. I'm like, you're not even trying. I got mistaken for Harrison Greenbaum, too, as well. It happened once. It happened once to me, too. It happened once to me. No, you can't be a part of this, sorry.

You can't be a... Yeah, I'm sorry it happened once to me. No, you can't be a part of this, sorry. You can't be a part of this. Yeah, I'm sorry it happened to you once. I remember when it happened, I was like, guys, look, me too. Yeah. But you literally, you did the show that every comedian is trying to make the show about them. Yeah. And looking back on it, what do you look back and you go,

oh, fuck, I wish I had known this then as I made that show. Because it feels like, as I was pitching my show, there was a feeling of like, you guys saw me do five minutes of stand-up and you think I know how to do this shit this is so it's so many skills at once yeah yeah yeah writing the overall trajectory yeah what like that process what did you walk away going like oh shit yeah no about owls i will say it's the it's the hardest i've ever worked in my life. It was literally seven. So we got greenlit fall of 21.

Is that right? Maybe end of summer. Had to quickly assemble a room. We started the room October 2021. quickly assemble a room we started the room october 2021 we had to re we had to rewrite and um reshoot the pilot because we shot the original pilot on sound stages in in burbank and i really fought to shoot in new york but it was like at the height of covet and it was so expensive to shoot in new york that they were like we have to do soundstage and then like, yeah, we don't like it because it doesn't look like New York. It just feels like, you know, because everything was like interiors.

It was just like, you can always tell when some place is not New York. So they were like, yeah, we need to redo it. uh i think we started we did the writer's room until like middle of march and then we held on to a couple of people just for like tweaks and rewrites and then we shot wrapped july like first the show came out the following week that I did press for like two weeks. And then I went to Hawaii by myself because I was just so burnt out. I broke up with my ex while working on the show. Like it was just so much. So I would just say like.

It is we write, create, star and produce a show like you are. I was never overwhelmed by like having to make choices and doing stuff because like you know i really sort of i was a producer on two dope queens the podcast and the show so it's like i just sort of like every time i was working on a project i always like sort of learned how to collaborate with others so that that wasn't hard, but it was, it literally was just like, you were just, you're not stopping. And it's like,

I would come home. We were like, first we like wrap the room and then the showrunner and I, we get on call, talk about stuff. Then I would go and like punch up someone's script. And then like, it was just,

there was always something to do yeah and so i think it was just sort of that thing like when you're in it you're just in it and then it probably took me like six months to recover from it like literally like i was just so tired and i didn't even realize it because you're just going and then when you stop you're like holy fuck so that was that's the thing i always tell people i'm like prepare for it to like truly take over your life you go like yeah yeah yeah but it's like no yeah you don't have a life you hear that aspiring multi-hyphenates that's the downside you don't have a life you don't have a life you don't have because the press junket that is the craziest part is you do all the work you

rap things are out. And then they go, oh, can we? They basically pull a, Phoebe, can I grab you for another two months? It's like, well, I've been talking about it. No, but now you got to talk about it in front of cameras. Yeah, yeah. And it was fun. I love my cast.

We all still hang out. Me, Takara, and Nneka. Takara plays my best friend on the show. Nneka plays my sister-in-law. We do a monthly FaceTime where we it's like two hours where we just like kiki whatever. Jordan and I hang out. We went to the

US Open together. And we're going to do I think a writers strike protesting next week. No, we went to the US Open together. That wasn't Jordan. I'm going to stop doing that. I'm so sorry. You guys so confused. But I still talk to the writers and stuff.

So I'd say even though like I did not like working with the network that I was on. I love, can I say something? When people are candid about shit like that, it really does free up anyone else in the industry. It's like if people go, oh, they're only paying $20,000 for this. And no one told you that they're only paying $20,000 for this and no one told you that they're only paying $20,000 for this. Like the minute someone says something like, oh, I didn't love working with them. Yeah.

Instead of people being like, oh, girl, let me talk about it later. Yeah. If someone's like, I didn't like working with them. That frees up so many other creatives to be like, oh, okay. Yeah. Thank you. Let's talk about the Tonight Show. Okay.

I'm just joking. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. We all love honesty. So... Child, you about to have me out this door. You're not getting me caught up in that. When you found out the news, was there any relief? Were you devastated?

Was it just surreal, like this thing that was everything was gone like how did you how did you deal with it it was a lot of things like i felt like our network didn't like really believe in us and support us in ways that they should have um i was really sad because i was like i just feel like we should have been given an affair shake and we weren't so i was like upset i was also sort of like you know I didn't think that we were the best fit so it did feel like in some ways the universe was like releasing me to find something better find a better partnership but I still think you know I think about this show from time to time and I was like it was a good show and I think it was like one of those things like it definitely could have had like a happy ending sort of trajectory where we go on to

do like three four seasons and whatever but i think yeah i was i was upset and i was sad and it was three years of my life and so just like it takes so long just to get it going. And then for it to fall apart like that, I definitely felt like a failure for a while. And I was just like, well, Issa's figured it out and Quintus figured it out. Why haven't I figured it out? And I think now I've made peace with it and it brought people in my life

who would have never come into my life. You know, like Nneka does like a lot of theater acting and like I don't do theater acting. So there's probably no way I would have ever met her. And like, so I definitely do feel like it worked out in the end. But was I definitely like angry and upset and sad and crying and all those things? 100%. I felt like it wasn't fair. And I'm very much a person.

I'm a Libra. So I'm very much about justice and fairness. And life is not fair. And it's really, I understand that and I know that. But in moments, and I'm working on this in therapy where it's just like I do this false equivalence sometimes of like, well, I did everything right, I do this false equivalent sometimes of like, well,

I did everything right. So then this should be the outcome. And it's just like, sometimes it's not, you could do everything right. And it still won't work. And so like, I just have to like accept that.

And I just, I have control issues. Like I, I like for, you know, everything to work out. So there's a lot. If anything,

Mulaney's TV show did give a real good like hey i mean look if it can happen to melanie you know it's just like tv is a fucking well and tv and tv is so ever-changing now tv is this amorphous blob of like what does it even mean to be on tv like that what does it mean to create tv and i think you also said something that i hope more people understand you're like oh like isa did it and quinta did it but like part of part of the fear with like black creatives now and black women creatives if it's it's like well girl i don't want you to have everything. Yeah. I want you to be able to write a couple episodes and relax. Maybe you get started on a couple episodes.

But now like Hollywood and it's part of the black excellence, like kind of conundrum where it's like black excellence is like great. But it's also like, why aren't you being excellent, Phoebe? We need black excellence right now. Not black kind of successful excellence. Five seasons. Yeah. I just sort of felt like oh they were able to crack the code and i couldn't yeah but also you did you crack the code having a season having a show where you're kind of an auteur is cracking the code like every time that any one of

us especially me and you and we've talked about this like at length any achievement you're like i did it now i don't have that thing though so like i don't know i feel like there's a lot of maturity in what you're saying thanks i appreciate that you know i think it's taken time for me to like get over it and just also like now it's just like we're dealing with this drug kid there's just always going to be something and so i think like for me i think what i've just been working on is sort of like not having my identity tied up in like my work and like what i create and like you know i take the i take the loss i'm a sensitive soul i'm an empath, I take the loss. I'm a sensitive soul. I'm an empath.

So I take the losses and the failures and the rejections very deeply. And it hurts a lot. So I'm just trying to be like, I don't want it to, like, incapacitate me. What's your personality now? If your whole personality isn't being tied up in a TV show or being tied up in the success of the kind of media comedy production world, what's that part of Phoebe that you're obsessed with now? You know, I think I'm in a place where I am spending more time with friends and traveling and resting and running. I was a person who never had hobbies. I was just like work, work, work, work, work. That's like all I did, all I did, all I did.

And then during COVID, my last book came out and my publicist got me like a thing or it's like something for New York Times where it's like a hidden talent or whatever. And I was like, looked at it and I was like, oh, I think I'll just like pass. And she's like, but it's the New York Times. And I was like, at it and I was like oh I think I'll just like pass and she's like but it's the New York Times and I was like

I don't have a hidden talent I was like all I do is work like literally oh no and I was like there's those moments there's those moments

I got a new manager and they had a question of they were like casually they were just like who are your friends in comedy like who are you really close with in stand up

and I was like Jay and it was just and there's more but it was it was definitely a moment who are your friends in comedy? Who are you really close with in stand-up? And I was like, Jay? And it was just, there's more, but it was definitely a moment of like, I was like, next question. That's none of your fucking business, frankly.

Who are my good friends in stand-up but not just acquaintances who I work with every couple weeks? That happened to me, I want to say two weeks ago. Someone said, oh, I see everything's going great, but what are you doing for fun? And then I listed another work thing and they stopped me and said no but like what are you doing for fun and i was like oh yeah yeah it's very easy to get caught up in the hustle

and the cycle of like achieving achieving advancing advancing trying to get more money so you can get out of like whatever financial state that you're in. And so when I was like, I don't have any hobbies, and I was like, that's kind of sad. Because I was like, what was I? I was 37 maybe? And I was like, that feels a bit ridiculous that my life is just work. So I think who I am now is sort of just like,

I think I'm trying to be, I love to achieve and cross things off. I think I'm trying to be, I love to achieve and cross things off my to-do list, but I think this industry in particular comedy is so approval based. Ooh. And so approval based. It's like the better you do, it is sort of predicated on someone saying yes to you in a way that's like not like it just is like this just feels like fucked up and weird. And so I think I'm in I'm in a transitional space now where I'm like, I only and it's also a place of privilege. I'm lucky enough financially to be in a place where I'm like, I only want to do things that I'm really either A, passionate about,

are going to be a great creative work opportunity, going to be a great philanthropic opportunity, or I have a chance to learn. Yeah, or someone hot is there. We got to talk about that. Let's go to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Phoebe, is there something Let's go to our next segment This has gotta stop

Phoebe is there something that's gotta stop Gosh I And I recognize I'm sensitive about this cause I am Also an author But I am so sick of Celebrities Pretending like they write their fucking books

And they're on Instagram And I'm like I've worked on this. Let me do an unboxing. I've worked on this for, you guys, I've worked on my book for so many months. This is my first time seeing the text. And I can't, I'm looking at it right now. And oh my God, this book looks amazing.

I cannot wait for you guys to read it. I'm like, you didn't write it. You didn't write it. They didn't write it. And them motherfuckers can't even read the title. It's so annoying. And the bottom line is the majority of people think they wrote it. And that's just the bottom line. They believe it.

And we know, and a small sliver knows, and it doesn't matter. They're always like, foreword by, body of the text by, and then thank you. That guy that wrote Trump's book, like he wrote all these things about how he regretted it and whatnot, but no matter what,

people were like, Trump wrote that book. Of course he's a genius. It's like, who, is there, is there one that's far enough away

that you can be like, this one bothered me the most? That's a good one though. I'm not, I'm not gonna drag anyone publicly like that, but I just think in general, like listen, I understand it's a hustle. You get'm not i'm not gonna drag anyone publicly like that but i just think in general like listen i understand it's a hustle you get that book deal someone's offering you a lot of

money you don't have to fucking do anything you can hire a ghost writer they'll do like i understand the hustle as to why you want to do it but there's something about it especially someone who has their own imprint and is like looking at book submissions and knows that like, especially if you write a novel, you have to write the entire thing. Yeah. Then you give it to your agent. Uh-huh. And then your agent shops it around. And you hope that someone buys it.

So you know that people are literally putting years into a thing where they're not making one cent. Yeah. and then have this fucking A-lister celebrity and their palatial house be like, you guys, I'm so excited to share just my work with you guys. And the world is crazy, but I really feel like this book, it just means so much to me.

It's just like you literally didn't even, you probably haven't even read it. You probably have not even read the final fucking, it's so weird. When they do the probably haven't even read it. You probably have not even read the final fucking, like it's so weird. Well, when they do the audio book, they read it. Yes, that's what they read.

And it reinforces. Every now and then, during the audio book, they'll be like, girl, I didn't even know this shit. How did you read it that good? It's pretty good. Personally, I am excited

to read Britney Spears' book. No. And I believe she was, I know, I know. It depends how many emoji. If there's no emojis in it, you know it's that she's not writing that one.

That would work. I appreciate people like Will Smith, who I know people are like, have complicated feelings about him, but he was very honest about him working

with a writer. I'm like, just admit that. Sure. That's totally fine. Sure. He said, keep my wife's name

out of this fucking book and i think he has the person he worked with i think it's like their name is on the cover or something so it's like i think alicia keys did that too so it's like that's shit i appreciate but when you're just like pretending and they fucking win awards for they have a couple instagram pictures of them at an old school typewriter you're like yeah no you didn't type it up on that. It's so ridiculous. My favorite are all those presidential pics. Trump did a lot, but they all do it

where they're pretending to write. Like they're pretending to read. But Trump did one that was blank pages. That was one of the funniest things. Let's go on to our final segment. You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. I'll do one.

This is only because you're here, because our stand-up origins began similarly with the one Linda Smith at Caroline's comedy club. She was the class, I took her class one summer when I was in New York

from college and she was my intro into stand-up. She's great. I love her. And she was so supportive. And then I like, you know,

didn't do stand-up for six years and then when I came back she was like, cool. Oh, you didn't do it for, you took that big of a break?

No, I mean, I was a musical theater kid so I did it and then I was like, I'm an actor slash stand-up. I did it once a year. And then when I came back, like, Linda was like, we'll get you in on that Monday night show. No, don't worry, you'll be comic number 56.

It was a very serious musical theater. Wow, that's cool. That's so cool. I love that. He still sings. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you did that class

2008 do you remember anything from that first your first five yeah I had like a like a cat calling joke that did okay but it was just

really exciting because it was like you know you do the graduation show like Sunday afternoon at Caroline's and I think I invited some co-workers

who knew I was taking like a stand-up class and I think I invited some co-workers who knew I was taking a stand-up class. And I just, I remember feeling very comfortable on stage. And I think that was because I did improv a little bit in college, and I took like, Chris Gethard came to Pratt and taught us a couple

of times, which was really nice. So I think I just was always like, oh, this feels comfortable. And I got a few laughs, but I was like, oh, this feels comfortable and I got like a few laughs but I was like oh this feels like I could be up here and I'm like not panicking I tried

because Caroline's closed I did one of the last shows there and I was like oh this will be fun I said let me do my first bit from class

and it bombed so god damn hard it bombed so god damn hard and in my head I was like sometimes I have these moments where I'm like you know what that old bit was actually pretty good I don't know why I stopped doing it and. In my head, I was like, I had, sometimes I have these moments where I'm like, you know what,

that old bit was actually pretty good. I don't know why I stopped doing it. And then you do it, and you're like, oh, I guess I'm like, oh,

yeah, no, I won't even, I wouldn't even tell you what any of my old bits, no, we don't need to, we don't need to do that.

I was, it was, it was dirty. I was, I was, I was going blue. Early. Early.

Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what happens that you go, oh, is this transgressive? That was the first, it was, I had an ex, and she texted me, she said, do mean that's kind of what happens though you go oh is this transgressive that was the first it was i had an ex and she texted me she said do you remember what kind of k y that we used and it was that it was that moment where something was so insane that i was

like i gotta talk about this on stage i feel so humiliated i need to tell people to absolve myself what kind of k KY was it? I feel like it was like whatever, you know, CVS store brand. I wasn't going nice. No judgment. Essentials. It's the same. It's the same thing as the night quilt. It's the same as the off brand.

I believe you. Listen, I have expensive lube now, but that wasn't always the case. It's the same as the cheap lube. No, it's not the same. Really? No, I'm a gun oil. This is a gun oil house.

How slippery can it get? Gun oil? Yeah. I honestly feel like the kind of the general podcast that Russell and I have would be like the first straight hosted podcast to advertise. Be sponsored by gun Oil or Boy Butter. What is it? Boy Butter is another one.

Boy Butter is a lot. That's a lot for Boy Butter. Yeah. You know what you're getting. Yes. I like the transparency. Sure. If he likes it, she's going to buy some.

Yeah. That's what the next book's about. Boy Butter, it's advertised as like, this is for gay guys. I could use it, right? You can definitely use it. You can use it. It's lube, but on the cover, there's an arm with a muscle with like a churn.

And it comes like in a little package like butter. I like that. This is my pitch for Zine. It's like it's roommates, one gay, one straight. Straight guy gets someone over. He needs lube. He has to borrow it borrow it but it's like it's that or it's just a big yeah well there's it's like it's like a dick and you have to jack the dick off to get the lube out and use it on the girl that you're hooking up with yeah yeah this is actually can i say something marco um let's sell that let's sell that okay we're not officially pitching it right now but in theory we'll pitch this someday.

I'm out. As a Shark Tank person, I'm out. Phoebe's an actual producer. She actually has a production company and she said no on the spot. She just made a TV show and she was like, what if we added an owl in the scene and he takes the lube

and he flies away? I'm back in. What if the person who brings everything together is this incredibly beautiful, funny, talented, glamping, running icon who happens to be, I don't know, my cousin?

You have a blessing. Oh, I have a blessing, yes. New York City, it's fun to be here in the summer people are complaining i'm happy about the heat you get to dress slutty you get to go out at night time i'm enjoying the summer and i know it's after labor day but i'm enjoying summer until we can't everyone can pull this top off jay oh my. Everyone can wear a tank top. Everyone can wear knits and shorts.

This is also low for summer. So cute. I'm still knitting from the kids. This is what the kids are doing now. Yeah. Good luck.

Right? You can pull it off. Yeah. I wish you could see his wrists are so fashion forward, but the rest of him is so scared

to even try a new thing. My what's so fashion forward? Your wrist. My them is so scared to even try a new thing. Your wrist. Oh, I see. Oh, sure. That's the word we're using? Fashion forward? Like, effervescent? He's so bubbly. What scares you fashion-wise? Why can't you just do it?

I think... First, my father had no fashion, so I feel like I don't. Well, he was old-fashioned. That's the thing. I don't know what's cool and what's like, would kitschy be the word? Or just like, ugh, that's weird and gaudy. Yeah, yeah.

The other day, I said this in the last episode, but I found a thrift store. There was a wrestling shirt. I showed it to Tova. I said, I think this shirt. And she said, that feels too gay, baby. No, what was on it? What was on it? Two wrestlers doing a move.

And she was like, it looks like he's eating his ass. I was like, that's a wrestling move that he's doing. Was it Rikishi? Who was on the shirt? It was just like collegiate wrestling. Okay. And so I just don't know. I feel like I want to wear tank tops.

I like short shorts. I like... And then I just don't know. Like I feel like I want to wear tank tops. I like short shorts. I like. And then I just don't know. You should just go shopping with a friend who you think is fashionable. Yeah, you text Jay all the time. He texts me for outfits. I'll take you shopping. And then you guys can like pick out like three outfits together.

And that could just sort of be like, okay, this is like a fun like athletic look. This is like a fun date night look, this is like a fun athletic look. This is like a fun date night look. This is like a standard issue look and then that way that can be like sort of your item. Also, if you go on TikTok, there are so many men who are telling other men what clothes to buy. Yeah.

You can pull off all of those looks. Yeah. I have fashion breakdowns where like if I'm in a bad mood, it somehow goes into the fashion and I put on an outfit, I'm getting ready to go and I go, no, this looks like shit. No. And I like if I'm in a bad mood it somehow goes into the fashion and I put on an outfit I'm getting ready to go and I go no this looks like shit and I like spiral and I'll

change four times and I'm like what's happening what's cool what's happening sometimes you just have to go through that to get the right outfit like I do that too where I'm like oh this isn't working oh that's not working let me try it's okay but look at this growth Phoebe this is a straight man being like I don't even know what to wear yeah that's huge growth.

That is huge. That's a silver lining in that. It used to just be like, I don't know what to wear. She's going to take what she gets. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're in a good space. And cargo pants are coming back.

I know you kept some of those. I've seen them. Yeah, I got one joke for cargo shorts. They're here. They're back, though. Really? They're back. My sister's going to kill you.

No, hey. My sister works at Celine, and she does not like those cargo shirts. They're here. They're back, though. Really? They're back. My sister's gonna kill you. No, I... Hey. My sister works at Celine, and she does not like those cargo shirts. Everything is back. Balenciaga has huge cargo pants now. Everything is back. Things are... Everyone's dressing like a 2000s character. Huge pants, kind of underwear bands showing, smaller shirts. Everything looks like a drawing

from the early 2000s now. Yeah. Good to know. Good to know. Just wear what makes you feel good. That's what I always tell people. We can find stuff that makes you feel good and look good. Yeah, yeah. I always feel like if you... I would just always say err on the side of timeless as opposed to trends. I just feel like I have...

Or if you're going to get something trendy, don't spend a lot of money. I love Kulk Guy and they have this super cute sparkly handbag that's $450. And I just found a version of it on Amazon for $25. Because it's like, how many times am I going to use this fucking bag? That's fine. But a staple? Okay, like a nice jean. Yeah, splurge on that. Because you'll wear those all the time. Sure, sure. staple like okay like a nice like i don't know like a nice like jean like giving you like a nice

that like yeah splurge on that because you'll like wear those all the time sure sure it's so wild we got straight guys to wear jeans that fit and then this year we were like actually make them big again and they're like i just threw them all away i want a jean to fit especially because i like had like a dalliance with an Italian guy this summer. And all his jeans were tight. And I was like, oh, all men should do this. Well, have them fit. Yeah, they look so good.

You basically want a standard straight with a good seat and a normal rise versus going too trendy in either direction. Yes. Because you want to be like, look at that. I'm going to grab that butt later. Yeah. Look at that butt. I'm about to grab it. Exactly. First I got to get the butt later. Yeah. Look at that butt. I'm about to grab it. Exactly.

First I got to get the butt, and then I'll get the jeans. Phoebe, do you have a blessing? Oh, gosh. I know. Because I saw that the director was like, don't say your health or your family. And so I was like, fuck, OK. Drag me. Okay, drag me.

I think a blessing that I have is, I guess I just feel like, I know everyone like, I think we're in such an anti-age kind of vibe where everyone wants to be forever 21. And I think I'm in a place where I'm just very much like, I'm very proud of being 38 because there are things that I only know because I've gotten to this age. And I think they've all made me a better person.

I feel like I'm and I think they've all made me like a better person like I feel like I'm much less insecure much less filled with anxiety I think I stand up for myself more and so I think I'm just really grateful for like

experience I think that's like the biggest thing that I feel like is a blessing. Even when something doesn't work out or something does work out, I'm just like, fuck, now I know that. Oh shit, now I know that. And so it's like I don't want to go back to my 20s. I don't want

to be a non-genie. Especially women are taught to forever be young. I don't know anything. I need a guy to teach me. I am so grateful to be to a guy to teach me like I am so grateful to be to a point where I'm like oh I feel like I have agency now

and that's really cool and so I think that's the thing that I'm really grateful for and I I think things are going to get better in my 40s I don't know who knows but I'm yeah I don't know I think all the failures I should stop saying failures all the lessons I've learned from things that didn't go my way I think I've gotten to a place where I'm, yeah, I don't know. I think all the failures, or I should stop saying failures.

All the lessons I've learned from things that didn't go my way, I think I've gotten to a place where I'm grateful for them as opposed to being like, oh, I suck, or I screwed up, or I could have done this differently. I'm just sort of like my life looks the way that it's supposed to look, and that's a good thing. Because it's still going. Yes. That is one of the cool things that you said. Was that a lame thing? No, that's a beautiful thing. Because it's still going. Yes. That is one of the cool things that you said.

Was that a lame thing? No, that's a beautiful thing. Also, it's wild. I mean, like, you understand how many podcast guests will never say their age? You're blazing a trail. Oh, yeah? Who cares?

Look. John Margo's going to have a section on the next one. He's like, and tell me your real age. And so many people are going to lie. Listen, the alternative is you're dead. So I will gladly shout my age from the rooftop. Wow. 38 or dead.

Pick. Yeah, truly. I'm going to go with 38. I can get some Bengay. Okay. I'm fine. I can take some ibuprofen. But there's just such a false narrative about youth where you're like,

Pedro Pascal didn't become super famous until he was 48. Wow. The city had his 40. So like this, Violet Davis, so this notion that like, if you don't achieve massive success by 30,

it's ridiculous. Those lists get more depressing the older you get. When you're younger, you're like, I remember when I turned Oprah made it by now years old. And that was a tough birthday. That was a tough birthday. It's wild also though, because like, I remember when I turned Oprah made it by now years old. And that was a tough birthday.

That was a tough birthday. It's wild also, though, because when you're in entertainment, you do meet a bunch of 23-year-olds that are like, ooh. You're like, hey, hey. We need to get rid of those 30 under 30 lists. That's the fucking problem. Get rid of those lists. I hate all lists.

I think all lists should go because there is no timeline of when you're I hate all lists. I think all lists should go because there is no timeline of when you're supposed to fucking succeed. And I think so many people are miserable because they feel like they are failing when they're not. They're just fucking living. Lists in general, if it's like, oh, this is a list of women

who we think are going to win an Oscar this year, I approve of all of those short lists for things like that. When it comes to an age-based list, that's crazy. That's crazy to have like, these are the 19 under 19. These are seven under seven. Seven under seven?

Stop that! 30 under 30 is wild because you'll be like, sometimes it'll be a person and you'll be like, but also, I don't want to sound glib, you still ain't done shit. This is like, you didn't do anything. You sold an idea for new hamburgers? Okay.

Every birthday, my sister will send me articles on people who succeeded later in life. You succeeded? I mean, your success. This year,

she sent me Vincent Van Gogh. Oh. And he didn't make it big until after he killed himself. That's true. That's true. And he did the majority because I went to the immersive

year. I went to his immersive exhibit in london and i think he did the majority of his work in like the last 10 years of his life hey but i mean he looked he looked bad for his age based on that portrait and also back then how then, back then, mid-30s, people were like, had a good run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a good run. I'm sorry you ate that thing one time and you just basically pooped your brains out until you died.

I mean, yeah, he killed himself. So this episode is coming out September 26th. What would you like to plug? Oh, my stand-up tour, Messy AF. Go to PhoebeRobinson.com to get tickets. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter. I'm not, it's just Twitter.

Hell yeah. We're dead naming Twitter. At dope queen Phoebs. Uh, it's going to be fun. I'll be in San Francisco, LA, Chicago,

Denver, Austin, Boston, uh, DC. I'm trying to hold a burp. Still made it into the mic. Toronto.

Tons of places. It'll be so fun. They're reasonably priced. Let's sell these shows out. Please, please, please. It'll be so fun. Messy AF. Phoebe Robinson dot com.

Oh, yeah. Jay, what are you plugging? Literally, we're all going to do the same thing. Aren't we all going to plug tour dates because of the double strike right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jay, what are you plugging? Literally, we're all going to do the same thing. Aren't we all going to plug tour dates? Because of the double strike right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't every one of these people in SAG and WGA like, I'm on tour as well. Go to jayjurden.com for tickets.

Instagram. The 26th, I would have just left Toronto. We're going to be at JFL Toronto around the same time. But I mean, I'm going to be in Denver. I'm going to be at JFL Toronto around the same time. I'm going to be in Denver. I'm going to be in Houston. I'm going to be in Dallas. I'm going to be in Huntsville and Nashville. So just

go to the Instagram. Get through the reels. Go buy tickets. That's it. See me live. Me personally, I will be at the Liberty Funny Bone October 1st, which is cincinnati liberty that is cincinnati it is cincinnati if you're in cincinnati you can make it to the funny bone and liberty whatever okay cincinnati cincinnati you talk about ohio cincinnati that is kentucky

cincinnati is not in ohio y'all cincinnati is the south south the airport's in kentucky it's kentucky great then kentucky come on out to the fucking show. I don't care what state you're from. Please. It's my first funny bone. And then after that, I'll be at the comedy bar in Dubuque, Iowa. We are exploring America together. And join the Patreon. Patreon.com

slash downside for our live episodes. Bonus episodes. My comedy special, The Rats, are in May. And I think I want to close. bonus episodes my comedy special the rats are in me and I wanna I think I wanna close there was this thing I don't even understand

what it fully means so Stephen Miller yes you know Stephen Miller you know Stephen Miller Trump sold who was he what was his position

he was first of all he's the scary one who's bald but has a huge forehead very racist he was so racist that at Duke they were like hey man you're being forehead. He was so racist that at Duke

they were like, hey man, you're being a little bit too racist for us. He was like super racist. He'd think he was like, he was definitely an advisor. It's unfortunate that he's bald because he really reinforces that like you're bald. Yeah, yeah. Whenever someone's like, you bald fuck,

that's what they're thinking about is Stephen Miller. But he said something about the ADL on Twitter. And David Simon, writer of The Wire, quote tweeted, he said, speaking as another Jew, you're a fucking Shonda. And if there were only nine of us gathered and it was the morning of my father's Yarzit, and you stumbled in and promised to just sit in the corner and shut up, I'd say, sorry, no, we don't have a minyan. Now, Tova explained this to me. Minyan, you need ten people to pray. So space is saying, if my father was there and we needed one more person to do the

prayer and you came in as a Jew, we'd say, get the fuck out of here. This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside.

With Gianmarco Cerezi.