The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #172 Lack of Function with Josh Sharp & Aaron Jackson

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Josh Sharp & Aaron Jackson, the writers and stars of A24’s "Dicks: The Musical," join to discuss the worst review of their movie, filming a standing 69 while wearing modesty pouches, what exactly are Sewer Boys™, and teach Gianmarco and Russell the difference between intentional and non-intentional camp.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Josh on Instagram Follow Aaron on Instagram Watch Dicks: The Musical on VOD! https://tickets.dicksthemusical.movie/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on January 8 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/743999631927 Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain. From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the buzziest films at Sundance Film Festival, A Real Pain. Written, directed, and starring Oscar nominee Jesse Eisenberg alongside Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin. Witness a hilarious and moving story about two mismatched cousins as they tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history see a real pain only in theaters november 15th okay welcome to the downside my name can i just i'll say right out the gate by all means josh my my my my beautiful girlfriend tova doesn't often um she's not the type to be like, oh, that guy over there, so hot. Right?

She's just not that kind. I think it's a Chabad Jewish. And the moment we put on Dixon Musical, Tova was like, Josh, that's my type. And I texted her right before this. I said, hey, can I bring this up on the podcast?

She said, absolutely not. I said, hey, can I bring this up on the podcast? She said, absolutely not. She said, no chance. Please don't. She was like, I remember seeing identical fucking twins and just being like, oh, my God. Wow. Sofa. Wow. This podcast is a better looking version of you.

I guess so. Yeah. I guess so. But sometimes it's fun to go outside your type. So maybe that's what she. I think you're close. Yeah. You're tall. But sometimes it's fun to go outside your type. Yeah. So maybe that's what she. I think you're close. Yeah.

You're tall, brunette. Tall, lanky. Lanky. We're lanky. We're lanky girls. Yeah. Did you, how tall are you? Six foot and also three inches.

Okay. Me, six, three and a half. Wow. Six, four. Six, four. I'm the short one. Little buddy. Little boy. I'm the short one little buddy little boy

I feel like people like lanky like in high school or middle school I feel like people like lanky as I got older I like the word lanky I don't think it's bad you can own it I'm just saying it doesn't sound great

it's like the word ugly no no no I love it not necessarily It's like the word ugly. No, no, no. I love it. I love it. Not necessarily thin or svelte. Yeah. Svelte. Svelte is class. But if a high schooler said svelte, you'd be like, what's wrong with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even the root of the adjective lank is sort of a yuck. An E. To have lank. Little boy. I don't know. One with lank. One with lank. Lanky.

Yeah. to have Lank. Little boy. I don't know. One with Lank. One with Lank. Lanky. Yeah. No, I think it becomes a type

when people get older and they're more confident and that's just like, I do like a big goofy idiot. Yeah. Yeah. There's an unseriousness to Lank.

Right. Yeah. And I just want to know quickly, then I came on screen a little bit later and then Toto was like, Oh, then she said they look like

they're identical twins. So it just doesn't try to, otherwise it's off to a terrible start. There goes one, there goes the other. I'm going to be pushing screen a little bit later. Then she said they look like they're identical twins. Otherwise it's off to a terrible start. Where goes one, there goes the other. Pushing the whole podcast to prove. For my money, I always wanted your hair when I was younger. When you were a little girl.

When I was a little girl, I wanted Tommy from the Power Rangers. That's what it was for me. The green and then the white ranger. Yes. Okay, let's focus. For once. You know what the word I wanted to take back was?

Not take back. Was foppish. I thought I said, oh, well, I'm foppish. I'm kind of looking a way to say I'm gay but straight. That's the word I'm looking for. Much better than metrosexual. That was a terrible word. That was an awful era.

But foppish, I looked it up, and a big part of it is well-dressed. And I'm not foppish in that way. But there's a whimsy to foppish that isn't just spelt and well-dressed. I feel like there's something playful about foppish in addition to being well-dressed. It can like, you know, I feel like there's something playful about foppish. Yeah. In addition to being well-dressed. It can feel insulting.

What a fop. Yeah. I mean, in Oscar Wilde, it was, in Oscar Wilde, it definitely was, like, the one she was supposed to marry, but he was clearly gay or just so non-masculine she didn't like him. Yeah. And that's the role I would play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you do any Oscar Wilde? I did, I did. What's the big one? Ernest. I did that. Ernest. Ernest gets stupid. Ernest gets stupid. That's the big Oscar Wilde.

Welcome to The Downside. My name's Jim Arcus-Serezi. Good to write that down so you don't forget. Really good. That's the kind of stuff you don't want to forget. I'm here with my co-host, Russell J. Daniels. How are you doing, Russell? I'm okay. How are you doing? What's wrong? I'm fine. I co-host Russell J. Daniels. How are you doing, Russell? I'm okay. How are you doing? What's wrong? I'm fine. I can't talk about it.

Oh, we can't talk about it? No, not really. This is coming out December 4th. No, I'm going to wait a little longer. I think. Okay. You'll wait until the job's done. Well... For a job. Who knows what I'm talking about. For a relationship. For a film you watch.

Anyways. You sent me a job. Who knows what I'm talking about. Or a relationship. Or a film you watch. Anyways. You sent me a video. I would like the full video. So he's on Broadway right now. We were there at opening night. Oh my god. I couldn't get tickets. We had so many extras actually.

Our whole row. We just threw our coats. We got a bunch of seats for our furs. This is so nice. Who was row, we just threw our coats. We got a bunch of seats for our furs. Oh, isn't it so nice? Who was the producer opening night? Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane, our daddy. That was opening night? Yeah.

Oh. And you better believe he had some jokes. He did have some jokes, yeah. I actually, a really funny thing about him is that he's the only producer that did not stay to take pictures afterwards. I heard him leave before the vows were even happening. And someone was like, and you can just go down to the lounge and he goes, I know my way out! And he just

kept walking. And we were texting him, because we went to the party after and we're like, we're going to see you at the party. He's like, I'm in a car on the way to the Hamptons. Of course you are, darling. It's got to be exhausting to live, because every time he performs, people want him to turn it on. Yeah.

He's got to be. And I feel like he did a good job in the rehearsal of giving people what they want, which is kind of being bitchy. Nathan Lee. Yeah. So it was funny. Any cool producers coming up? Okay. All right.

Moving on. Louis C.K. Yeah. He would be good. That one you would be so excited for. He'd be really good. Can you imagine?

They need some more controversial producers on that end. The handjob lady. Whatever her name is. Lauren Boebert. Yeah. Lauren Boebert.

That would be the Anthony Scott connection, too. That would be good for them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's Anthony? Anthony King and Scott Brown? connection, too. That would be good for them. Oh, yeah, yeah. Who's Anthony? Anthony King and Scott Brown? Oh, yes. Anthony slash Scott.

Yeah, exactly. Anthony and Scott who wrote it. Lauren famously got the hands up during their other show. Right. That is the connection. I'm just saying, you know. Wow. It would really make sense. It's an easy ask.

Yes. Yeah, just a lot of politicians I think would be a great addition. So, but your friend sent you and you sent me a video of him doing Tevye in seventh grade. Yes. Tevye Jr. Fiddler on the Roof Jr. Tevye Jr. Tevye Jr.

Does it have a happy ending? Sunrise. Sunrise. No, but I thought it was better. Fiddler on the Roof Jr. it ends with them forming Israel yeah

yeah what's happening there with Israel well this is coming out December 4th so I assume it's all fine by now it's all cleared up

assuming by the way I did I did get I did get my first so we finally opened the gates of expressing ourselves

a little bit more politically on the show and I got a at my first so we finally opened the gates of expressing ourselves a little bit more politically on the show and I got a I got my first person who cancelled

some tickets because of what we said on the podcast this felt like a big day for me that's great they made that clear

that that was the reason for the cancellation they said I bought the priority tickets to see your Friday show in DC in March. They're $35.

I've been so excited. What does that get you? Sorry to interrupt. What does priority get you? Meet and greet? Meet and greet? No, that's free as a bird. I honestly don't know.

I think you get to... Some crowd work about you? Tug and pull? I think they get to sit up closer. That's so nice. You're going to get an Instagram reel, I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you're in the splash zone. I've been so excited. But you really don't understand the issues behind the conflict in Israel. Great. If Hamas is not defeated, Israel will be destroyed. It's literally explained as such in Hamas' charter. Israel and Israel alone is trying desperately to save civilians. Your stance on this is just wrong.

We did a big pro-Hamas stance. We do walk that back. We do walk that back. That was a little harsh. I won't be there Friday night now. I just can't stomach it. Please read more about the history. Maybe your conservative parents are actually worth listening to on this one. You are a Jewish

comedian with a following. Your words matter. You owe it to yourself and your fans to speak truthfully. And then they sent nudes. Yes. So for anyone listening, just to say, I take it all back. Please buy the tickets again. I need these priority sales. It's a door deal, please.

Right to lens. So, your fiddler, I want that video. I can ask her. It's on the VHSs she said yeah there's no way to get it yeah so but i she sent me like 30 seconds of it with her talking over the whole i know but but um you know i was shocked i i sound fine singing is there russell thought he was better i thought i was so thought you thought you thought we'd watch it we'd be like that's really

good for a seventh grader. If I saw that performance now, I'd be like, that kid should not be going into acting. Like, it was bad. Yeah. You know what I mean? Don't you hate that? It was really like going through the motions. There was no.

There was no. Behind it. You know, to life, to life. You know, you're just like. Well, to be fair, you're not a Jew and you shouldn't have been playing that part at all. It was really inappropriate to begin with. But in seventh grade, you still had time to become a Jew, maybe. Maybe you were a Jew in waiting.

I played dead meat three times before the age of 22. Wow. High school as well? High school, middle school, and in college. Wow. All the educations. You went that order. Yeah, yeah.

I know that feeling, though. I did Music Man in 8th grade as Harold Hill And I do have the same thing where I'm like I think I was probably Good for an 8th grader But I'd be horrified if I was like 76, Tromp, I don't know

You thought you were giving I was Winthrop in 6th grade Were you always tall though? Yeah, I was tall But you know I was still a Winthrop taller than Harold Hill. So I was shorter than Harold Hill, but then I did hit a growth spurt, and then I was like almost as getting to be, because he was young too. He was like a ninth grader or maybe a tenth grader, but yeah. It got a little like, oops. Oopsie. What was, were you a theater middle schooler? I had a really illustrious third grade where I was in Oliver as Orphan No. 9 and Best Christmas Pageant Ever

and also Peter Pan in one year. Who were you in Best Christmas Pageant Ever? Also don't remember. Orphan No. 9. That's true though, Lost Boy. Have you watched any of the Peter Pan bloopers? It's one of the Peter Pan bloopers?

It's one of the reasons Oh yes Some of those, it's the hardest I've ever laughed in my life This Peter Pan was one of those where like a married couple comes in and in three days puts up the show, do you know what I mean? Where they come in on day one, you do these faux auditions It's basically like a thing you pay for

and then they build this show where he plays Peter and she plays Wendy. And you all have little roles. And then you do it on a Wednesday night or whatever. Yeah. I was Peter Pan. Wow. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Well, before we get into this theme music and get to business, since we're reading things, I do want to read one of the reviews that one of you posted. Oh, great. About your movie. Yeah. That I think, Russell, you read it. I read the last one. So this was a review About your movie. Yeah. That I think, Russell, you read it.

I read the last one. So this was a review of your movie. Oh, yeah. It's the musical. Okay. It's going to be good. I am a lesbian. And this was literally conversion therapy.

I felt like I was hate-crimed and an unwilling witness to incest porn at the hands of two severely mentally deranged individuals. That was actually so traumatizing, my girlfriend and I cried, and people were screaming in the movie theater. Whoever enjoyed this is actually fucking psychotic and needs to be hospitalized immediately. Aside from that, it was ableist, homophobic, racist, completely unhinged, and disgusting. This movie is everything conservatives imagine when thinking of same-sex immorality.

And for once, I fucking agree. Again, I'm a lesbian. This was sickening. What the fuck is wrong with you people? So it's a rave. It's a rave. It's a rave. It's a rave. Russell, when you wrote that, what exactly?

I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian. This is The Downside. I'm dying to know what part. Sorry. No, it's fine. You can talk over it. I feel like an idiot.

You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. That's Douglas. With Gianmarco Ceresi. That's Douglas. Oh my God. Douglas. Douglas to The Downside. The Downside. That's Douglas. With Gianmarco Cerezi. That's Douglas. Oh, my God. Douglas. Douglas Goodheart.

Douglas. Voice over king. Have you gotten more reviews like that? Oh, many. We've got a lot. Another good one that just like the pull quote is Hitler tried to cleanse the world of this filth 100 years ago. And it's like, oh, so you find out halfway through, this is a pro-Hitler review. This is a real Nazi.

Anti-movie, but pro-Hitler. We should have gotten rid of the gays when we had a chance. I think reviews should have to say that up top. To be clear, I'm pro-Hitler. I am a lesbian. Again, I am pro-Hitler. With a kind of soul. All caps. So two raves. ThatHitler. With a grind of salt. All caps.

So two raves. That's another one we really love. Raves. Well, I loved it. Oh, we loved it. And I will say this, too, because I think I sometimes, I think I'm not as silly. Like, I don't, like, my dad loves Naked Gun. I'm not saying it's Naked Gun.

But, like, silly. Yeah, yeah, I love Naked Gun. We like Naked Gun. I'm not saying it's Naked Gun, but like silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love Naked Gun. We like Naked Gun. And when I saw it, it was so fucking surprising and joke dense. It was so joke dense. That's the Naked Gun at all.

But even Naked Gun, it doesn't have teeth. Like the jokes don't always have teeth where I'm really like- But we do this joke-a-line. I miss joke-a-line or at least attempt

at joke-a-line. You know what I mean? You're allowed to say some of them aren't jokes or unfunny, but it's like at least you gave it a go that's what i would tell people about titanic i would say like it's joke a line and even if you don't like one joke just like wait wait eight seconds one is going to come around that you might enjoy and that's why that's what i say about ours but then it also had it just had the like it had the some jokes were, as your reviewer

perfectly stated, ableist, racist, homophobic, and then some jokes were so, so gross, and I,

because I don't really think in a, like, I cling to, like, very kind of regular jokes, and I'm like,

oh, this functions. Yeah. But I feel like, has there ever been a moment or something that you picked in this where you're like, what if the sewer boys doesn't work, period? Because you dig so, and it worked. The whole time you're like, I cannot believe

they're going deeper into this. It keeps going, and it worked. It's funny you phrased it that way, of like, you latch on to function and jokes. It made me cry. I think we are anti-function and jokes.

Yeah, I think sometimes. There's rarely a function for any of our humor. Yeah. But I look at it, it is functional but it's just like it's,

it's. You like surprise. I do think there's a lot of that of like how can you sort of keep people guessing. I just think of little things like, I don't know, was there like a sparkle through you, and then you saw the dick line in the pants? It was just constant. How many versions of the puppets did you go through before you had like, not many really, I think.

We didn't have, like, we described them very, we don't write a lot of stage directions when we write. But then for the Sewer Boys, we described them very we don't write a lot of stage directions when we write but then for the sewer boys we described them very densely and then the director larry charles did a lot of sketches and he just sent oh and we sent him like a mood board with like et gremlin slender man uh alien um pans lab yeah we said gollum yeah and we're like something like this. And then he did a bunch of sketches, and then he sent them to the puppeteers, and I think they would come back with better sketches. Also, they're heavily chested. They have that thing where you're chest concave.

Skinny little waist. Ooh, skinny little girls. Yeah, grippable waist. Also, I would say we did one billion drafts of this movie skinny little girls. Yeah, grippable waist. And I, well, first. Also, I would say we did one billion drafts of this movie because it had such a weird long life. And at one point it was even at Fox. I know, I remember. Every single draft, Act Three was,

we have to rescue the sewer boys. That was like something that we never let go of. And always you'd get, like, you'd turn it in and then it'd be like, and what are the sewer boys that's what i was talking before i was like i'm so curious on that process of like doing it because you must have had people being like wait yeah which is again why i think in drafts it grew and grew because like we he's right we don't like much stage direction really and yet there's like fully a page and a half of black text when it gets to that and it's like they are from hell they are

beautiful they are covered in slime. Like, we really popped off on that because I think it was clear to us. People would, again, you just don't know how they're reading it, but they would be like, and so there are these little boys. And the stage was like, they are monsters. They are from hell. They are lizards. They are monsters.

And they'd be like, so he has little boys in a cage? You'd be like, no. Think E.T. People would be like Chris Kattan, right? Like Chris Kattan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Mango.

Mango. I think a lot of people read it as mango. And what was his, would he eat the apple? He would eat an apple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was a mango. Mr. Peepers. Oh, no, no.

Mr. Peepers. He had two. Mango was. Wow. Was it like the gay guy? But mango was very physical, too. They were all physical. But Mr. Peepers was more sewer boys. Yeah, Mr. Peepers. He had two. Was it like the gay guy? But Mango was very physical, too. They were all physical, but Mr. Peepers was more sewer boys. Yeah, Mr. Peepers.

Son of a bitch. Poor guy. Chris Kattan. Oh, God, I know. He's alive still. He's alive. He's alive. No, he does stand-up tours.

He does all the clubs. All the time. But then it's... People say that the opener does like 45, and then he comes out, and he's like, I was on SNL. He does Night at the Roxbury. Yeah, yeah. He can't because of his neck anymore.

Oh, that's true. I went on a weird YouTube wormhole about him one night and just was like watching clips of him for like an hour. Yeah. Yeah, and it was like probably pre-accident, but still relatively recent. That's like a big shtick, you know?

He was good, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, fabulous. He had all these characters, you know? I saw Night at the Roxbury at the right age, where for me it was like, it was funny. And honestly, I was so young, it was like, it was sexy too. When Molly, it's Molly Shannon, right? Oh, yeah.

When Molly Shannon puts Will Ferrell's hand on her boob. Oh, yeah. I forgot. Because he's in Superstar as well. I forgot she was in that. Yeah. This is the downside. For those just tuning in.

Play the song again. We'll talk over it. I'll talk over it again. This is the downside. For those just tuning in, I'm amazed. Play the song again. We'll talk over it. I'll talk over it again. This is the place... How did you do that without your notes? This is a place where we can complain and we can be negative

and we can share failures and we don't have to pretend to be thankful or nice. It's a place to feel free to reveal who you really are. If you're a fan, join the Patreon. Patreon.com slash downside. Bonus episodes are live episodes and my special, The Rats Are In Me. I don't want to harp too much on the movie.

Everyone should go see it. We're here with Josh Sharp and Eric Jackson. Hi. The creators of Dix the Musical. You need to see it. It's available VOD right now. Yes. The one scene, spoiler alert.

Well, Russell and I, we've certainly, in our sketch team, we've done things where physically we're entangled. Yeah. Russell, I think the most graphic is you took a shot of vodka out of my belly button. Uh-huh. 69, but with clothes. Yeah.

Oh, sure. Well, Chris and I did. No, Chris and I have done it, too. Yeah. Oh, interesting. But you put us to shame. Yeah. And listen, I always... Spoiler, spoiler.

Spoiler, spoiler. Spoiler, spoiler. Yeah. Skip ahead. spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler yeah get bad uh it there's there's a talk about a surprise where you guys make love vigorously and uh so shooting that let's talk about that day that was the last day last day honestly because we always knew this sex scene would be we wanted it to be very violent it was always like, it should be very gymnastic and violent. So we asked them,

because it wasn't always the last day, and we were like, could it be our last shot? Because I want to not worry, I'm going to hurt myself. Like, I want to like go for it, and be like, if I sprain an ankle, we're good.

Are you nude nude, or wearing something? You have, so, I saw your eyes roll a little bit. Oh, I just was, no, I'm happy. Sure. You sounded, you sound so happy. Oh, I just was, I know I'm, I'm happy. You sound it.

You sound so happy. We had like modesty pouches, but it, uh, uh, it is quite a vigorous sex scene. So we were in our trailers, like putting them on and just like take a step and they fall off. Cause this isn't like you're in bed with Julia Roberts. They're used to like an HBO show. So we were like, these aren't going to work. So then the intimacy coordinator gave us these. They had

draw straight. You put your cock and balls into it and then you cinch it. And then it's like a cup, like an athletic cup. And then they tape it. And she did it for us too. Like over your pubic hair. Did they have a second intimacy coordinator to oversee the taping? No, she

fully came in and taught me how to do it. And I tried. And she was on the other side of the door basically being like, if you have trouble and are comfortable, this is my job. I'll put it on for you. And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, so please come in. And so she was fully there like, all right, baby, getting it in there. So it was not coming off.

No, and it hurt. It hurt. It had like rubbed around my cock and balls pretty rough. So I had like a whole like, you know, abrasion around it

for like a week. Oh my God. Now, what are the SAG rules? You're not allowed to show up? Tova. Tova. Tova. She doesn't run the SAG rules.

No, I mean the abrasion. No, the cock around the balls. Yeah, the abrasion. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Even more her type. I, um, wait, what, the SAG rules? What around the balls. Yeah, the abrasion. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Even more her type. Wait, what? The sag rules? I mean, you're allowed

to show dick in a movie. I think it's just, like, because Fassbender, everyone's always, he's always flopping his cock around. I think you can do whatever you want.

I think they maybe just... It will be for sure rated R, but then I think since we were supposed to be, like, penetrative, obviously you're not allowed to do that. I think it's like...

I remember they did that for that Shia LaBeouf movie, Nymphomaniac. It was penetrative sex? It was filmed in Europe, so it wasn't sag. They were fucking. It didn't do anything. I think it's fine if you want to do that. Listen, art, I think, art is art.

Go for it. I tell this story all the time, but I went to the Museum of Sex and it was kind of lame and cheesy. I was about to say, like, I loved it. But then the special exhibit was cool.

It was like, you know, sex through media and through the ages or whatever. And then they showed this very famous video of Chloe Sevigny like sucking dick.

And then she's getting interviewed about it. And they also had the interview and she's like, oh my God, I knew people were going to freak out about that. It's art. So God bless me. Fully just like sucking on a cock, like looking at lens.

What movie was this? It's a famous movie, The Brown something Yes The Brown Bear or something Yeah I can't remember But it's just a scene from a movie But she's like

Because the director was also the actor I think You gotta write your own roles people Yeah let that be a lesson for you You gotta write for yourself Only you will know your own dick You know You can't expect some writer to know What you're cocked the way you do

You want to get sucked off by Chloe Senn Just expect audition for that I know the perfect angle I think we want to see this It's so funny though Maybe we don't film it at all Shoot I left the lens on Just do this to decide who gets the part

Was there any part of you that said And only because you've talked about this publicly Shoot, I left the lens on. Just do this to decide who gets the part. Was there any part of you that said, and only because you've talked about this publicly, but you've been lovers before? Which gay guys haven't? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Oh, no, my mic's cutting out. Okay, there we go.

Was there any part of you that's like, just let us do it? I think no, because it was so... Oh, not do it. I didn't mean panic. I just meant naked. I, because it was so, like none of, Oh, not do it. I didn't mean panic. I just meant naked. I think because it was so violent, it really felt like it was more to protect yourself.

And you're thinking about ass. His ass isn't at mine, just because of the shots. It's not, but we were like, you can show, we didn't care about our ass. And you are,

and you are, yeah, I guess I didn't feel like I wanted to show cock, but I would have had to see it and see if it was funny enough. But also some of it is the comfort of other people. Do you know what I mean? Where you're just thinking about

doing the work with like, because you forget there's like 100 people around, so it is sort of becomes a thing that just feels. And also because I kind of believe that most things they say

in the movie are true, even though they're absurdist because it's like the sewer boys and there's a vagina that's mentioned a lot. Yes. And then it is revealed that she was not lying and she does have a disembodied vagina.

Was that her vagina? Megan Mullally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that was flying out the end. She very generously lent it to the film. But these guys say they have 17-inch cocks. And while Josh and I are both extremely hung, they're not 17.

So I didn't want to show that. I did want it to be like, I wanted it. They really, in my mind, they really are hung 17. And we're 16. There was a joke at one point that didn't make it where we were going to black bar our cocks, but with long crooked bars. Like fully like crooked bars. Yeah, long, crooked. Like, fully, like, huge bars. Because it says, the lyric is, the cock is seven inches long, curves to the left,

then goes 10 inches more. That's the lyric. And that, to me, is truth. That's canon. That's canon. So, no, I don't think we wanted to either show it, actually, for that reason, or do it, really. Even though it was like i've seen

it but the standing 69 though who was holding both we both we did it both ways you did it both ways you're so you have this big modesty sock on but you don't have like a modesty asshole covering no that is sure that is that is that sort of is. That is Chloe. I wore a thong for that sketch where he eats deli meats off my body. Oh, yeah. It's very twin. And then when I bowed, apparently, my joke bow was the guy who can't remember who bows the wrong way. And then apparently, everyone saw deep inside me. Yeah.

Well, that was what was funny. Because it was one of the first shots. And we had them like, I remember I was holding Aaron upside down first. And so they helped place him in. And then they said, do it. And I'm running across. So I do it. And I'm like, well, well, well.

Because the whole thing's cartoony. And then Larry is like, doesn't look real. You got to really get in there. And I was like, if I really, there's nothing covering that part. So if I really get in there, it will be like ass on mouth yeah and fully and you're in this like closed set so there's only like two people in the room with you and then everybody else is like 50 feet away watching on monitors so i just heard this voice from across the room be like and are you comfortable with that or i was sort of like i'm fine with it i just am saying out loud for the room we didn't

say we were gonna film real snuff. And now we sort of are. So is that okay? Well, Larry Charles, he has two famous naked scenes. And he spoke of the Borat naked fight in this, because this was not actually, again, we did a billion drafts, everyone with the sewer boys. Not everyone had a sex scene,

but Larry was very much like, we have to see it. We have to do it. So that was always something he wanted. And he always said, he was like, it'll feel like the naked fight in Borat. People will be screaming in the theaters.

The naked fight in Borat. Was it censored? Did they have bars over? They had bars. They're pixelated or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was really naked Sasha.

Yeah, and he is like in his balls and I think you see the balls or something because I watched it sort of recently and you do see more than I remembered but yeah, you don't see full. And there's something in Bruno too where someone's getting like something up the ass like a toy or something and larry was like that was also real i i've said it before i miss that element of comedy

i think like ass uh just like just naked nudity yeah I feel wild. Yeah. It is funny. It's funny. It's always funny. It's shocking. Even a hot person is like funny naked. Like it's funny. It's shocking

but I also think the shock of it is so silly that it like graphic violence is shocking and should be whereas nudity

is shocking and sort of shouldn't be and so that is funny to me too that you feel this way about something that's so silly, ultimately. Everybody has a body.

Yeah, and it's not really doing anything to harm anyone, especially when it's non-sexualized, which even sex, who cares? But especially when it's just nudity, it's like, what are we in a tizzy about? Would you rather show dick or hole? And I mean like... Show, like, hole. Spread cheeks, hole. Yeah, like, let's say a full-on, you got to pick up three items,

camera facing towards you, or you have to run across the screen. Oh, you have to pick up three items with your dick too. Yeah. That's part of it. What about you? And Chloe Sevigny is holding the items. Does that help?

It was art. Holding those items. I knew you were going to freak out about this. Dick is, I have to really, I'm fine. I'm fine. But I'm just anxious. What's his name? There's some guy, he showed his dick in a movie, and people said it was small.

And that's all anyone talks about his entire life for the rest of his life. And I think even like let's say average big small whatever camera adds 10 pounds if you show dick if you show dick on camera it will get screen grabbed and then it will be on like male nudes celebs.com no matter what even if it was even if you're not famous and you just like are in the background like that you you could that euphoria scene where you don't even see the people's faces and there's like uh they're in the boys locker room and you see like 50 penises that's all it's so it's like it is forever online which is like who cares but you will yeah it's kind of good for guys it's good for us to experience it a little bit because

for women it's like it's constant yeah you're always sending me sydney sweeney screenshots from euphoria three in the morning. I'm like, Russ, I don't need to see these. Go to bed. We have a show tomorrow. He needs them. So,

you guys have been working together for a long time. Yeah. I mean, God, just to have... Oh, I knew you were going to freak out about that. That's every question you ask. It was art.

It was art. Just to have a collaborator who you really trust, that would be so nice. Yeah. How old is Uncle Function? Eight years. Eight years. Oh, so then...

It's going to be nine in April. Okay. Can I just say, though, if Uncle Function, if we had also mixed, if sex had been an element of our sketch team, we wouldn't survive. No, that's true. Not at all. There's too many, too. I think, you know.

Someone's left out. There'd be a lot of hurt feelings. Oh, sure, yeah. The psychosexual dynamics. Yeah. Who would you sleep with first? Well, here we go. There we go.

Jessica's taken out. What? Who? Me, here we go. Jessica's taken out. Me, Chris, Douglas, or Joseph? You think having sex would have turned you apart? I think this question is more likely to turn you apart than if you actually just do it. I think maybe not you.

Maybe not. Because I have an easy answer. If you were going to be my choice, not anymore. Yeah. No, I think Chris wouldn't like to hear this, but I think we'd fall into it. We'd be fighting. We'd be fighting and yelling. And then before you know it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a wrestling moment. Yes. Yes. Oh, okay. For sure. I kind of see that.

Yeah. Probably Joseph. Yeah. Yeah. You see that. Yeah. Probably Joseph. Yeah. Yeah. You see that. Show you the ropes. I was going to ask, are these all straight men or is Joseph? Joseph's gay.

Joseph's gay. There you go. Yeah, you want to have sex with him. Oh, yeah. Wait, handhold. You don't want to be a first. Just two men in their 30s figuring it out for the first time is rough. Joseph feels like he's lived a lot of lives.

He feels like there's lived a lot of lives He feels like he There's something Sure A lot of gay sex is intuitive Because you have Experience with the parts So I think you could figure it out I feel like it would be like When you try to put on a tie for someone else

I'd have to wrap my legs around To just turn too hard Looking in the mirror. And also your dad's there explaining how to do it. Yeah, yeah. No, my dad's not there so I have to go to the bar mitzvah and find someone else's dad to do it for me. That was one

of the like, oh, my family's sad, where I had to go to the bar mitzvah. And your dad had to jerk you off? And I had to... I thought that was the bris. Someone else was dropping off their kid. Someone else was sharing a traumatic moment of my childhood.

No, we know. We got four or five more interruptions. We can riff on anything. Good luck, brother. And someone else's dad would be dropping off their kid and I'd say, Mr. Mister, could you help me tie my tie? Wait, your parents just sent you undressed there? You were nude. I don't know.

I just think my dad was in a rush. The person's like, honey, the tie's the least you're worried. You need underwear, clothes, the rest of it. Stop jerking off. Yeah. Wow. Are you Jewishking off. Yeah. Wow. Are you Jewish?

Mr. Mr. No, but I, do you feel I look Jewish? Well, Tova certainly must if she's attracted to you. I will say, and I don't know if this is just a, you know, blanket all approach when, you know, when you're in Union Square and they're like, excuse me, are you Jewish? I get asked every single time. Sure. What are you? Honey, Christ is king.

No, no, no. I was raised Christian, I guess, but then I'm just sort of a white person. There's nothing interesting in the last couple generations. Yeah, European mutt. How Christian are we talking? I was raised Presbyterian. That's pretty Christian, but in the South. I would say on the conservative to liberal scale,

it's maybe edging conservative, but not full. A lot of Baptists are maybe more conservative. I'm Southern Baptist, so it's like... Pentecostals and stuff are the most conservative. So do you think coming from that background partially leads to where you are friends? Yeah, definitely. What about it?

What do you think that did to you? I, I don't care about religion, but I have, I have seen it be very good for people and very bad. So I think, I think I, when I was like,

I'm not religious anymore, I was like, fuck this. If you're religious, you're fucking crazy. And now I have seen it be good. Um, but I, I think we just had a very similar track with it,

where we were all in and then we were all out. I liked it a lot at the time. Yeah, same. I mean, I hated going on Sunday morning, but I hated to wake up. I'm not an early bird. So I was like, we only have two days off a week from school. And one of them I got to go fucking wake up again.

Yeah. I hated that. Was it a boring church? Anything fun? Singing? No, yeah. We had an amazing choir. I loved the singing.

I loved the kids' stuff. You know, sermons are boring. But it was good. I was a child. Yeah, church was the boring part. But everything else around it I actually liked a lot. Like all of the youth groupie stuff. And there was a lot of teen leadership church was the boring part, but everything else around it, I actually liked a lot. Like all of the like youth groupie stuff and there's a lot of like teen leadership stuff.

I played in like praise bands, like all that shit I really loved. Again, there's like a butterfly effect, a universe very close to ours where I'm a youth pastor. You know what I mean? Like it's like, I feel like there's two things

that happen differently in that. And now you're a delinquent. Yeah, and instead I'm a delinquent. In that of the universe? Instead I'm eating ass on cam. That is true. Do you think, though, that part of being in that generally repressive environment made you go so far into this kind of, I want to be, like offensive humor?

Probably some. I also think I would. It is also campy. We've talked about it before. A lot of church is very campy because there's such like pomp and pageantry and, and yet also a ton of like, um,

what's the word I'm looking for? Repression. Because you have to sort of like push down certain things while celebrating others. And the stakes are so high because the most mundane thing still that it's like, but does this glorify God or not? You know what I mean?

That, that is like the stakes of every single thing. So it is pretty, but I think I've always had church-aside authority issues. Like, I like to challenge power. Even as a little boy. Who plugs this?

You two are the most powerful men I've ever met. But, you know, I was like a temper tantrum little brat to my parents and then if I liked the teacher, I was good to the teacher but if I didn't like the teacher, I was very a temper tantrum little brat to my parents. And then if I liked the teacher, I was good to the teacher. But if I didn't like the teacher, I was very sarcastic. Explain to me. I feel that, but I also feel the surprise thing we were talking about,

where it just feels like offensiveness feels so still. The fact that it is naughty is what's fun. But I also like silly shit, too. It's like anything that feels like it's not what you're supposed to do. Sure. Lack of function. Did you get in trouble? you like a bad boy no not really i was a pretty good boy i just like talked too much but i was a pretty good boy i was pretty good but i did get suspended for marijuana in high school no i was i was eldest child and didn't didn't misbehave at

all like didn't drink till college like that kind of vibe sure yeah uh marijuana how'd you get caught um well neither me and my friend don't remember but apparently we were dry i had a weird and drink till college like that kind of vibe sure yeah uh marijuana how'd you get caught um well neither me and my friend don't remember but apparently we were dry i had a weird period off that was that was legal but it was like not it was weird to have that period off and we were allowed to leave campus so i was driving so i think they were already like why is this kid leaving and then my friend was skipping class with me and apparently he was like loading a bowl but i feel like we weren't that dumb but i guess we were because then when we drove back in the golf cart came up and was like do you have pot in the car and we were like yeah wow wow it was like we saw you i was like okay

yeah we have it yeah it's colorado yeah yeah chill you probably have weed in your golf i know and it was so because i was like lead of all the plays and he was like head of student government And so when we went to the principal's office They were all so sad They were like not you too Why you too You think they'd have a change of heart They'd go oh wow the people we like

Want to do this Maybe it's us who are wrong Maybe the whole church is wrong My friend who was much braver than I was I remember one of the, whatever they, vice principal, I don't remember, she was just like, whatever. And then he was like, well, may I ask you, have you ever tried it? And she was like, no, I'm scared I'd like it too much.

And he was like, I think you should maybe try it. While we're getting suspended. How long were you suspended for? I only- You're still suspended, right? I'm getting suspended. How long were you suspended for? She's still suspended, right? I'm still suspended. I only got three days, which was psycho. And then they did, because he also, he was so sweet.

David Hashemi, who is now a high school teacher, but he got suspended for 10 days because he was like, it's all mine. He just took the bullet. Oh, my God. Really sweet. What kind of high school teacher do you think he's telling all the kids? Like, well, have you tried it yet? Were you smoking?

I know he was doing Yearbook. I don't know if he's still doing that. It's crazy when you watch content from even like 10 years ago, how we, like, the way that they talk about it, it's so crazy that we were like growing up watching shows where they were, like, it was the worst thing. It worked on me. It worked on me, hook, line, and sinker.

I was in middle school. I remember I was in eighth grade, and someone, it ended in eighth grade, but someone who had gone on to high school came back and he was he went to the kid he was weird he was like he's like i've been smoking weed and i remember being like and i remember feeling like i'm good and i was like no that's not good smoking weed is bad and you should really stop and i and i remember the feeling it's funny when i haven't felt since then of like i am righteous yeah and i am and i am in the right and and and this person is is bad and i haven't felt that since yeah and you look back you look back and i'm like that was the time to be smoking i had nothing to do i had no responsibilities

why would they do it easy yeah oh yeah Finish your homework. It's easy. Yeah. Yeah. I think about, especially because even in America with pot being legalized, it's not like we're going to let, we're a long way away from like, what if 10-year-olds could have a little pot once in a while? A little edible. As a treat. It must be okay. Probably.

Especially really micro-dosed. Sure. Come on. Marijuana Monday at school. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure with babies, because there was an old thing with babies where you give them a little liquor, you know? Yeah, their teeth. And then maybe you give them a little

puff right on their teeth. See, why not? I feel like French kids are always drinking wine. Yeah, exactly. Terrible tooth. A little MDMA on the gums. Then we vibin'. Then we vibin'. Baby be vibin'. I don't know if I'm going to have kids, but these are all things I'd have to figure out.

Like, what would I tell my kids? When do you give them ecstasy? When do I give them what first tablet? What age is right to have ecstasy? Their first shot of heroin. I, uh... Oh, God. Explain to me how church is camp.

I feel like... Yeah. I feel like in all my years, I have never fully grasped what camp means. Oh, it is elusive. Yeah, it's elusive. Which is sort of the point. I feel like people debate over what it means even, and that's sort of, I think, the point of it. Yeah, because there is intentional camp and unintentional camp. Yeah. Would you define camp first?

Why? Well, so you were in Titanic for a year. What is camp? Thatal camp. Yeah. Would you define camp first? Why? Well, so you were in Titanic for a year. What is camp? That's true. You've lived it. I've lived it. You've lived it. I don't feel like I would be, I mean, I can see Titanic and be in it and be like, oh,

this is camp. But again, I don't know. But you know how to act camp. And I think that's a skill. I think it's like style. Like, I think some actors are really good at style. And different pieces are, but no one talks about it.

But like even if you're trying to like mumblecore, like fucking Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, like that's a style. That's not like real. But everyone's like, this is so realistic. It's like, no,

it's not. Nobody, nobody talks like this, but they're very good at that style. It's like they maybe couldn't do camp, but maybe they could. Some actors are very, I think good at,

you can do Oscar Wilde, you can do Shakespeare, and then you can do Neil Simon, and then you can, you know, like. I guess now that you put it like that, I do feel like you're stylistically flexible. Yeah. Yeah. Well, oh, you're joking.

No, no, I said I'm jealous. No, I didn't say I'm joking. I said I'm jealous. I was like, well, thank you. I'm joking, loser. You can only do Titanic. But I feel like church feels camp. I mean, it's very serious, but they're in silly costumes.

That's unintentional camp would be church. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think it manifests itself in different ways, but I think the core of camp sometimes is a version of acknowledging artifice, like sort of like owning the thing you are, whether you know it or not, and like blowing it out and exaggerating it sometimes. So sometimes people are doing that with awareness and sometimes they're like,

Oh my God, this is so bad. It's good. You know, do you think church, this is, do you think church became camp because it's where maybe even closeted men, they went to the church because there was an, a presentational element to

it there was a women are very camped to like yeah in the south these like yeah you know and again it's so much about like not you it's like I'm serving a higher power and yet there's tons of peacocking you know there's like homophobia and yet it's all very flamboyant like there's all of these realities that are like this is so yes especially catholic church and then southern church just has its own sort of version of it where again you're like it's so judgmental and yet so welcoming it's like very much like oh sweetie you're going to hell like that sort of vibe yeah yeah so camp like to do two things at once you know it would be fun. Bless you. Yeah, bless your heart.

Bless your heart. That's the gossip. That's how you gossip in church. Like, bless her heart. Have you heard about, you know, Laura Marie? And it's always like the worst thing you've ever heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bless her heart.

She's cheating on her husband and she's da-da-da-da. Bless her heart. Praying for her. I miss, I feel like there was a different time in the world where, like, your movie, the Catholic Church would have said, you're going to hell if you see this movie. And it would have been the best press you could get. But they don't even care anymore about movies.

They don't. They're like with the media landscape, it's so fractured that we can't possibly condemn any piece of media. How dare we? And they don't want to speak out against SAG. Well, of course not. Union strong, Francis. No. How dare we? And they don't want to speak out against SAG. Well, of course not.

Union strong, Francis. Sure. When's that vote? Is that vote now? I don't know. December. Come on up. I owe a lot of money

to SAG, I realize. Yeah, I know. It's because it's from last year's when we actually made money. It came over when my friend was over who's not in SAG

but he's in equity. He was like, how do you owe like $500 or something? More, I he's in Equity. He was like, how do you owe like $500 or something? More, I think. And I was like, what the hell? I was like, I guess I'm really backed up on dues. It's because they build it on how much you made the year before.

And we did actually do acting last year. Good for us. Those were the days. Blue Bloods is coming to an end. That was my first acting role. Reporter number two. Three episodes. What season were you on? Wait, you were on multiple episodes of Blue Bloods?

Three episodes, yeah. You had an arc. As the same reporter? Yeah, reporter number two. Three in a row? Or you just pop in different seasons? Just pop in. They were constantly tortured.

They would check my avails. Torture. Check my avails, nothing. Check my avails, torture. And you said mr blood mr blood can you comment on blood mr blood mr blood mr blood time you can call me blue no then it's mr bloods get it right bloods what is that show about it's copaganda a hundred percent a thousand million percent and and i would have never accepted it now.

But my reporter is asking the hard-hitting questions. Speak truth to power! And then Tom Selleck says, no, you're wrong. And then music and it's credits. It's like, Tom was right. The police chief is right because he's handsome. He's handsome. No, that was the one where the first time, it was like we just shouted lines as Tom walked away.

And it was me and one of the reporters. So I said the first line. Are you hung? Sir, are you hung? They're like, again, you need to look at the script again. I said, do you? You're like, I got it. I got it.

Why don't you stay with Monica? And I said my line. She messed up her line. Oh. First take. And then they said, all right, let's just mouth it. We'll just mouth it. And I was like, oh, my.

I immediately was about to get dropped from co-star to extra because she fucked up the line once. That was my first experience with like, oh, this is what. This isn't what I did at acting school. It's awful and uncomfortable. You are furniture and the day needs to be made. Yes. And just the other extras were there and it's like, you could do this.

Oh yeah, everybody. I didn't need to audition for that. And a callback? Are you fucking crazy? And a callback. Every under five I've had, it's like audition and a callback and you're like, really? You didn't get me going, excuse me? And now say it again. Okay, you got it, really? You didn't get me going, excuse me?

They're like, and now say it again. Okay, you got it, kid. You really did it. But good. I met some people who did Reporter. They did 12 episodes and they made 10 grand a year

in residuals because they play Blue Bloods everywhere. So it was good to me. It was good to me. Good for you. Now, the cancellation, are we sure it's not

a spinoff for Reporter 2? Do you have that confirmed yet? Because this could be good news. Reporter number two, he finally gets to the bottom. Are the cops not perfect? Would it be yellow bloods because it's like yellow journalism? Oh, yeah. Sure.

I worry yellow would be like you're a coward. Or blue pins. Yeah, but maybe it's going to be pro-cop still, anti-journalist. Yes, I see. I see. You realize the journal's just a sniveling coward. Yeah. And then the moment he's in trouble, he goes, please help. And they go, you see? Yeah, I see. I see. You realize the journal's just a sniveling coward. Yeah. And then the moment he's in trouble, he goes, please help.

And they go, you see? Yeah. Not so bad after all. They shoot you in the head. They shoot me. On network TV. Be fun, more like more fun. Wouldn't you say, kid?

And you give a thumbs up and credits. Has anyone seen those robots that the NBPD has put out? I haven't seen them. I haven't seen them. Oh, you mean in the flesh? Yeah, I've seen pictures online. Pictures online. And apparently they need a person with it.

It's the funniest thing in the world. They had two engineers and two cops protecting the... So it's like... Because in my mind I was like... It's the funniest thing in the world. They just let them out. They're going to get destroyed. People are going to absolutely suck them up.

Of course. Throw them into the tracks. Absolutely is the first thing that would happen. I would do it. Yeah. Are you kidding? And then you screw up the whole day, the track absolutely is the first thing that would happen I would do it are you kidding and then you screw up the whole day the MTA

worth it don't you think what do they do that's my question I don't know they fully feel like Mickey Mouse to me they do feel like

they're just little mascots like Times Square maybe they record but also the Times Square station there's so many stairs is it a stair is it just live down there

there's like three of them on the staircase just like a stair? Does it just live down there? There's three of them on the staircase. Just taking up track space. It must live down there. It's Phantom of the Opera, really. They just live underground. Rowing in their boats. Wally of the Opera. Wally of the Opera.

I'd be too scared to kick one. But I'd love to see it. I certainly know when I see MTA screens that are smashed, that were just playing ads, there's a part of me that goes, good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, where was that money going? It didn't seem to be going to the trains.

No. Good, smash them. Beautiful screen, but to show me Chanel. Yeah. It's a bad impulse. I don't know. I just... I like the chaos.

I want to see 10 police dogs on their side. The robot ones. Not the real ones. Oh my God. You're like, the police dogs are good. No, I mean, but I would... They're victims themselves. Now I'm definitely not having sex with you.

It's Joseph. Now that you've said that, it's Joseph for sure. Joseph loves police dogs. The faster money and data move, the further your business can go to a seamless digital future for Canadians. Let's go faster forward together. In life, interact.

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which one of you went to Boston Conservatory me yeah that's how I met Douglas right he was the class above me I forget went to Boston Conservatory? Me. Yeah. That's how I met Douglas. Right. He was the class above me. I forget he's Boston Conservatory. Oh, yeah. So Douglas is... We were in The Man Who Came to Dinner Together.

What play is that? That sounds like an Edward Albee play. Moses. Make the cut. Kaufman and Hart. Kaufman and Hart. Like an old gem. Yeah.

It was a musical. No, it's a play. But they wrote books for musicals too, coffee? Yeah, they did. Was it good? I liked the play. The director copied the Nathan Lane production that was recorded for PBS.

Exactly. And there was one gal who was very miscast in the Jean Smart role, and Jean Smart was very, very funny. And she would just literally give her Jean Smart. I had watched that DVD a lot. So she would just give her Jean Smart's line readings. She'd be like, try this.

I'd be like, that's literally the exact line reading of Jean Smart. What does that play about again? A man comes to dinner. It's like a bitchy, foppish radio star of the time is in Ohio to do some whatever, and he breaks his leg. So he's trapped with these fucking flyover losers. Oh, God. And then all these fabulous Hollywood people come in and panic ensues. What's the play about where there's a black family?

No one is black in The Man Who Came to Dinner. Well, is that Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? Yes. Yeah, that's Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Well,

they're closely named. It's not that crazy. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. And then what's the one where you have all the faces and you have to guess which face the other person has? It's like,

uh-huh. What's that one? Guess Who. Guess Who. Similar. Oh, yeah, that was the remake with, what's his name Similar. What's that jean brand? Guess. God damn it, Russell.

You dropped the goddamn ball. Clearly that's where I'm going. Guess Who Mattel? Because we'll probably get a movie of it real soon. Oh, yeah. That would be so good. Polly Pocket seems to be the one that's going to be made. And then there's going to be be made. And then they're all

going to go away. Jordan Peele is apparently doing Barney or that was all fake? No, Daniel Kaluuya is I think. Maybe Jordan Peele is too. I just remembered.

I think it's Daniel. He's doing something else. The 8-Ball one? Daniel's doing Barney. That feels like it could be a horror movie. And it's going to be Dark or whatever.

Dark Barney. No one knows what that means but. I predict Polly Pocket will tank and then they'll just drop this whole obscene idea. Right now they're like, on top of the world. It's like, let's...

Did you guys like Barbie? I haven't seen it yet. I'm waiting for it to be on Delta Airlines. I saw so many bits on Twitter that I wasn't excited anymore. It got very mean. We saw the musical number before. It got very mean. We saw the musical number before. Very mean.

Yeah. You get it. You're culturally aware. I feel like it's going to be too clean. There won't be any crazy moment where Barbie decides she's a lesbian at the end. If they murdered

all the Ken dolls, then I'd be like, whoa! Wow! That was a shocking... You're right to not expect that. Yeah, it is. It does have the Mattel blessing. Think of, I mean, it's a Marvel movie. You know what I mean? It's very good for one of those types

of movies. Don't compare it to Francis Ha. Compare it to the Avengers. Right. When you think about, know, the Avengers. Right. When you think about, speaking of the downside, when you think about your comedic sensibilities, because I feel like there's something so, there is a huge swath of the population,

I know this from trying to make incest jokes just in my own act. Sure. Premium tickets canceled left and right. They will not enjoy that humor, no matter what. I think one of the main jokes of our movie is that we're twins, but one of the main jokes is we don't look alike. It's literally like the first joke of the movie

is twins. We're not twins. And then we have twincess, and people are like, that is too far. It's like, we are not. First of all, no one in a movie is related. But we are like, one of the main jokes is that a movie is related. And then, but we are like,

one of the main jokes is that we're not related. And then we have incest and people are like, that was, that was, that's where you lost me. I'm like,

oh my God. And then again, even if it were intended to be realistic, which it's not, the actual sex is so, the geometry makes no sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like none of it's, I do think it'd be less funny if it was like the Hemsworth brothers actually fucking. I agree. You know, like it is funny because you're clearly not brothers's cartoons. I do think it would be less funny if it was, like, the Hemsworth brothers actually fucking up. I agree. You know, like, it is funny because you're clearly not brothers. Right. I agree.

That's, like, what I used to. That would be a wild turn for their careers. That would really, that would, like, Marvel would drop that motherfucker immediately. Imagine if you guys got to a meeting and they were like, actually, we're going to replace you guys with the Hemsworths. Whatever is the best film. You're 69ing, 69ing. That actually would be oh that body's turned very different worse than ours is what i mean their bodies are worse

significantly worse than ours i i remember uh when i was like younger watching or there there was a there was a gum commercial where it was like two beers it was like double mint and it was like yeah two beers two baseball games twins. I forget what it was. The thing was it was like two blonde twins. I remember at an age, like 14 or 15, where I was like, wait, you can't fuck. If you have

a threesome with the twins, they're doing incest. And twins would be like, well, you got to pick one, though, and then leave the twins, hopefully in another room. Right. Hopefully. in another room. Right. But I think that's – Hopefully.

Or another state. Lock her in the Harry Potter stairs. Gosh. Maybe fly her first class to New York. Give her a great weekend. Give her a lovely sister. So she's not getting – In Boston.

She's down so good. Yeah. Give her something to look forward to. But that's what's – because people have that visceral reaction to that. That sounds so good. Yeah. Give her something to look forward to. But that's what's... Because people have that visceral reaction to that. And yet, there's so much porn where people are flirting with... But they can't joke about it. Now we're really going to go there.

Straight incest and gay incest are very different, too, when we're talking about it. If you're actually going to get real about it... It's taboo. What's the issue with incest? It's really about procreation, right? You make a bad baby. Two gay cousins are fooling around. Who's getting hurt here, really?

Oh, I see. That's really the hottest take of all, is that culturally, these are very different, and we've lumped them together. Interesting. Is gay porn as into stepbrothers? I think so, yeah.

Because I know that in- Straight porn really is too, right? Yes, but I know that in straight porn there is a different rate, money-wise, if you're playing a stepmom or a mom. The rate is higher for mom. Higher for mom because it's more of a

taboo. You know this because Reporter 2 was a stepmom. And you got the bump. I would be curious I mean what the difference is with gay porn and straight porn

of like with that I'll tell you it's about the genders of the people is that your question? that's one of the big differences next question

moving on Joseph's coming ask Joseph while he's sucking your cock ask him hey buddy what's the difference he could be sucking Joseph's cock and could ask so true Ask Joseph. While he's sucking your cock. Ask him. Hey, buddy, what's the difference? Or he could be sucking Joseph's cock and could ask. So true.

Senunciate. When you think about your movie output and the things that you want to make. Fast. The things that you want to make. Oh, God, hold on. I'm not done thinking about it. So many movies. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Do you ever ask yourself, like, oh, wow. Do you ever ask yourself, oh, the thing that you love comedically, there are certain elements of it that America will not respond to commercially in a way that is like, that you'll be Adam Sandler or whatever that is. And do you ever think like, oh no, I want to stick to my guns

or do you think, oh, next next movie no family members will have sex i do think next movie no family members will have sex but you're here first i think you're very stick to your guns but i do think this movie for a variety of reasons was very specific very stylized and very raunchy in a way that some of our other things are not and that's not because we're like want to back off it It's just like... It's the virtue of it being based on the stage show. It had to be true to the DNA of something we did in the basement as 24-year-olds.

You know what I mean? That's what's crazy. So I think it always had that, which I still love and stand behind, but I think it's not the only thing we want to do. Right. But I don't think there's any... I think it will be hard R, you know?

Sure, sure. And I do think... Whatever, but I think we're gay, so we're never going to be Adam Sandler. Sure, that's true. Although at the same time, we've talked about how it's like life is long. It's like, I do want to write a Pixar movie one day. Like, there's other things that I think would make me.

I want to be president of the United States of America. Exactly. Wow. Okay, so Hasbro, is that the company, Barbie? Mattel. Mattel. Mattel picks a toy, is that the company, Barbie? Mattel. Mattel. Mattel picks a toy. Write that down before the general.

You're going to get walked out and laughed out of the room when you're pitching on apples to apples. What property, Mattel property, are you like, oh, I'm going to make? Well, guess who I was thinking, because I can't stop thinking of ideas. I love ideas. When I was thinking, guess who, if that was a Mattel, which I have no idea if it is, I was like, well, what is the game? Because you're trying to write and guess who you're trying to guess the last person. Well, you each have a person.

You each have a card. And you say, does your person have glasses? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is your person Jewish? Is your person a stepmom? I would have to make it. In my head, I instantly was like, cause you wouldn't have like two people guessing. It would be like,

it'd be a murder mystery. And whoever it was would just be killing all of them. Cause you know, you flip the tile down. It's like, shoot him right in the fucking face. Or it's a, bye Bill.

Or it's a really dark, it's about a police lineup and it's about like, um, the, you know, eyewitness testimony and how it's invaluable. And you know, it could be really political

and about the justice system. Someone gets someone wrong in a lineup and they're wrongfully incarcerated for years. That could be really good. And the only clue the cops had was he didn't have a mustache. He wasn't bald. Yeah.

I forget what I was going to say. I think we said so much. We'll just sit silently. That's always my fear. I'm just like, what if we hit a silence for five minutes? This is the downside, it says. That's what you were going to say? Shut the fuck up.

What else is on there? It's going to be Boston Conservatory. Did you have people that were okay so i don't know how much you could talk about going from fox to a24 like how did that that was really like fox our production company had a very good deal with fox and basically it's like they'll pay you to write it they'll never make it and then that is what happened oh okay so they were very kind in paying us to write it and also kind and sort of reading it and being like, we'll never make this. Because I do think there's a version where they could have, like,

tried to turn it into a Fox movie, and we could have gotten just like, and they truly sort of were like, we're going to just pay this out and give it back to you. This is never going to get made by us. Yeah. Wow. It was like, that already was a long con. With the Fox version, they'd find out they weren't twins,

and then they'd fuck. I think it would be like, it would like barely be gay. It would be a lot more like the parent trap. It would just be the realistic part of the first part where your business guys would pick chicks and you'd sleep without women. It would probably be like Stepfrogs also too. It would probably be like a big,

like, you know, and not that our movie isn't broad, it's very broad, but it would probably be less specific. How much time between, sorry, how much time between finding out that Fox wasn't going to go that

and then A24? That took a while. Years, really. Because we were on a TV show. And then also, A24 was into it. But it took a long time for the head of a production company and the head of A24 to meet and be like, yes, let's do it. I feel like it was two years between Fox deal being done and then A24 being interested. But then interested to really happening took a while because of,

you know, lawyers and Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah. But you must've thought it was dead at some point. It was always, even now. Yeah.

It was always like, Oh, but our, our producer, Corey Adelson was, she did like, she was in contact with us even when it would be like dead enough that it's like,

she still wants to make it, you know, like I never felt like she gave up on it. And if she had, it would, it would, that's when it would be like dead enough that it's like she still wants to make it you know like i never felt like she gave up on it and if she had it would that's when i would have been if you sent her a message or something she'd respond very quickly you know how it is sometimes it's like when you're dating or something you're like oh they're not really replying like she was she was always replying it's like okay she's still into me yeah so like i it, it hope never fully died, but often we were like, I don't know. But she was like, she was still dogged.

Yeah. She was dogged. And it felt like, and it always was like her baby too. So I feel like with her that she was very invested. And so we always were like, we're going to find a way to get this made. Even if it literally takes forever.

Yeah. Like even if we have to like get famous doing other shit and then return to it, we were like, we're going to get it made. And then getting Megan Molloy and Nathan Lane on board,

how was that? Wildly just asked them and they said, yeah, it's script. It's like, truly. And then there was a video of the stage show, so I think that helped

understand tone. Yeah, very good for tone because otherwise, we famously had a DP who we loved who was a lesbian who read the script and was like,

this is fucking awful and offensive. And it was like, you know it's gay guys playing straight. And then read the script and was like, this is fucking awful and offensive. And it was like, you know it's gay guys playing straight. And then read it again and was like, okay, I get it. I love it. She truly was just like, what the fuck? I got to say, maybe your movie isn't made for lesbians because that's two lesbians now who have had a visceral negative reaction to the content.

Maybe the lesbians didn't know we were gay. Yeah, maybe the lesbians. Sure, sure. Sure. It missed the first ten seconds when we fully said it. Came in a little late. To be more like a lesbian, they announce themselves a lot. I am a lesbian.

In all caps. Yeah, she's coming in late. Sorry to be late again. I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian. Excuse me. Love these pants, by the way. Thank you.

Was working with Megan Thee Stallion, I feel like I'd be intimidated in that moment to be in a musical number. I was really nervous. I was very nervous when we sat down with her and Larry, the director, to like, let's read through your scene. I was like, oh my God, oh my God. But then she really was so nice. And then the first day with her

and the first day of shooting in the whole movie was her big number, which to be fair, we're like hardly in. So it meant our first day of shooting was you were sort of just watching a Megan Thee Stallion music video where occasionally they're like, and then cut to you going like this. Oh my gosh. You know what I mean?

So it's like, it was a nice warmup to just be like, she's fucking amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that did. We did have to do a scene with her that day, but. Yeah, but it was short and easy. Yeah, it was short. Because that rap was so good. I had thought that she had helped write it.

Because it felt just in her voice. And Joshie. And Marius and Carl. We just wrote it in her voice. And she would change little words. But we thought it would be more of a rewrite. We were like, here's our version of a Magnus Downing song. And it speaks to her.

I think that she was just like, I want to do what y'all want to do. And we do like her and get it enough to be like, this is like. Right. It wasn't like the dancers choreographed it. We're like, I know she can drop into a split. So I'm doing it. So I feel like we had the same thing of like,

I know what type of flow she's capable of. So let's write something that she could do. Yeah. You know, a split. I wish I could. Can you do a split? What do you think?

I know. I think, yes. Have you ever been able to do a split? No. No. I used to, in musical theory school,

I would like watch a TV show and like hold, you know, my version of a split? No. I used to, in musical theory school, I would watch a TV show and hold my version of a split desperately. That takes a long time. I'm very flexible, but not hamstrings. That's your splits. I just want to be a dancer. I know. I know. Who's the musical guest on SNL?

Oh, yeah. What's her name? She's one of these people where I'm like, who is this? Oh, they're an established pop star. Oh, there's 17 billion people. McCray. McCray. Oh, shoot. McCray? I can people where I'm like, who is this? Oh, they're an established pop star. I didn't know her. 17 billion people. McCray. Oh, shoot.

I can't believe I'm spacing. Tate is not it. Tate. Tate is the name. I've been saying Tate for hours. Not Andrew. Is this thing on? But I just watched her dance, and I was just like,

oh, I want to be able to do that. It looks so fun. I remember in At the Boss Conservatory, ding, ding, ding, I want to be able to do that. It's so fun. I remember in, at the Boston Conservatory, ding, ding, ding, I was, me and this other guy playing parts in a musical, meaning we didn't dance, were like standing in the back watching all the dancers. And I said to him, I wish I could dance.

He goes, but then we wouldn't get to watch. That's a beautiful philosophy. All right, I'll try to take that. Then we wouldn't get to watch. Then you wouldn't get to watch it. Yeah, you'd just be doing it and everyone would be watching you. Your sister's a dancer. Yeah, that doesn't make it

feel good for her. Watch your sister. Why don't you watch your sister? She's touring with Carol G. Carol G? Do you know Carol G? No. Tate McFay?

Tate McFay, Carol G. Carol G, she sings in Spanish. But she did. So your sister has to dance in Spanish, too? Uh-huh. Wow. It's very offensive. I'm like, wow, my sister's tan is getting a little strong.

I don't know what you're trying to pull here. But she's booked it, and it's going well. Reporter number two is black, right? Originally, originally. They couldn't find it. They want him to be Jewish. Let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop.

Do you have a this has got to stop? Oh, yeah. I think I have one. Okay, you go first. We'll go around. Is there a format to how it is done? You just go, this has got to stop, say a thing, and then we and then we'll talk no no no no this has got to stop i mean the broader thing would be of course be this you know like the blight of the weed bodegas that we have

going on right now that's hacked but i'm going to be specific and say the amount of fluorescent lights in them like they're so harshly lit and i'm like what about weed makes you think this is the vibe i want you know what I mean I mean they're all a blight clearly they're all they all feel like what I would have wanted in high school if weed had been legalized like when I was 16 and I'd be like maybe that's it

this one on the corner is like zaza call the kids in get the youth in maybe that's it and maybe I want a little and I feel like we're in a growing pains era we don't have a little more coffee shop I want a little more of the LA like we're in a growing pains era. We don't have like coffee shop. We don't have a little more of the LA of it all, where there's some that are like, this is for adults coming in.

The vibes are, the vibes are mellow. They, again, it's like, I do want a little bit. Some of them in LA feel a little, I think like,

cause they went too far away from the like hippie dippy. And it's like very like, this is like a laboratory. And I don't like that. Cause I'm like, I hate mad. Mad men is very much. Or like, this is like a laboratory. And I don't like that. Like an Apple store. I hate Mad Men. It's very much Apple store. Or this is like a Warby Parker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all white and very... No, I want wood. Yeah. I want wood. I want cozy. But my point, I was in Amsterdam last weekend, and the thing that we don't have is doing it indoors

and having a nice place where we can have a meal. I think there's something with the law there. Well, you can't smoke nothing indoors in this town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know they're probably working on that because that would be fun to have a little. Someone's probably working on it. I'll call my senator tonight for the first time ever. Yes, yes.

Let's call Senator Schumer and say, I know you got some other things on your plate right now, but let's deal with this. He means ceasefire. He brings it up. I can't wait to tell you something that once we're done recording. Do you have a this gotta stop? I do. Well, I'd be vague, but we've kind of touched on this in the topic

before, but I have to be a little vague, more vague than I'd like to be. Oh, great. That's gotta stop.'s got to stop. This has got to stop. Vague race. There's too many times in the entertainment world where we are having politicians come and be a part of our things. I hate that. And on our TV shows, on our Broadway stages, on our things.

And it's blurring the lines. People then treat them like they're fun, and they're stars, and they're things, and then when you do say something to them in person, and they're like, hey, why aren't you doing this? They're like, you can't talk to me here.

Actually, why not? Why can't I talk to you here? I think no one should... People wear shirts that say right or you. My hot take, I think no one should, people wear shirts that say, right or left. You know, Trump, Biden, Bernie, Hillary. I'm like, they're not a fucking band. No, they're not a band. That's a guy that you want to fucking make sure that, you know, you have a house.

It's confusing to people when we invite them onto our things and we're like, buddy, buddy, and we're like playing with them. It's similar to when we have, when we hire real newscasters in movies, which is weird. I think it's weird. Because then you're like, that's not, we should be getting our news from them. Stealing my job. Furthermore, I have no sympathy for when they're like mad about getting interrupted at dinner. No. I'm like, you weren't conscripted into being a senator.

Then quit. You should not want to do this job for 30 fucking years. It's not a job for 30 years. Because the longer you're in it, the more fucking corrupt you are by all the different people you've made deals with. Exactly. You should not want to have this job. Yeah. You should need to do it.

You're a public servant. Exactly. Public servant. Exactly. And you shouldn't want to be a servant for that long. Order takeout. Order takeout. Order takeout.

And we have them on our shows and things. You're not getting it. You're not running it by everyone, too. So and then it comes in and people are forced to be to be a part of an endorsement that you don't want to be a part of and it's really shitty and it's really gross and um i especially in times right now where there's really horrible things happening in the world yeah and to just kind of nonchalantly throw someone onto something feels well i, I think that's what has shaken what's going on with Israel and Palestine. It's shaken it up to a degree of people. When Trump was there and with Obama, I feel like liberals in the entertainment industry were like, we're all on the same page.

Yeah, exactly. And I remember when Obama did Funny Between Two Ferns. Right, right, right. I had a friend who said, I don't like this. And I remember at the time, I was younger. I was like, well, that's the good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's encouraging people to vote.

But it's in those moments that now I think we all coalesced in a way that now everyone assumes, oh, we're all on the same page. We all want this good guy. We all would want Elizabeth Warren to be on the show. And I don't... It is... I don't know

what to do about it, because it feels so deep, and I feel like this moment with what's going on with Israel and Palestine is the moment where people are going to start butting heads and realizing we disagree on certain things.

Even amongst our side. Yes. Yes. And that just be, that you can be, you can all be pro-choice but still, or you can all be pro-LGBT

and still viscerally agree about foreign policy. Right. Yeah. I think like a politician can be on television interviewed in a news situation but not like on, when they're on SNL or something. Yeah, yeah. I think a politician can be on television interviewed in a news situation, but not when they're on SNL

or something. Yeah, and I feel like SNL hasn't kind of done it in a while. They got kind of in trouble for Trump. But I think there is something... What do you mean SNL hasn't...

They had Elon Musk fucking... No, okay. The richest person in the world shouldn't want to go on the satire show because he will be so fucking humiliated. Humiliated.

I agree. I agree. I agree. And they just had Timmy Chalamet. This is my thing. Timmy Chalamet. Timmy Chalamet. He owns a whole chain of chocolate stores that's enslaving people.

Are you okay? Oh, your headphones. You're adjusting the wrong thing for your headphones. Oh, okay. Well, I hate being this. Being this. Being this. It's like. You, I hate being this. Being this. I hate being this. It's like...

You're in Lotus, though. Very zen. When you did a Jordan Klepper show, because that, again, like, I don't... Sometimes I look at those shows and I don't know how I feel about them anymore

because I'm like, well, this blurs the line so much. It was hard. Those were hard. It's fine for me to do like a like a political like a desk piece it's like i don't care but when you have to like go places yeah and like even be mean to people that i'm like i i don't like what you stand for that that's where i get very southern where i'm like well that's impolite i know yeah no it's hard i know how to do that

was there one that was really like you're like you had to go to a Trump rally. And it was just so dark. And not even in a fun way. It was just like, this is just bleak. And we're not like, we like to do the ones that where you, they're called friendlies. Where like,

sometimes you interview a friendly and sometimes you interview, I don't know what the foes were called. But like, but a friendly is like, Fascist. Like if you're doing one, we did one on global warming

and everyone we interviewed was a friendly. And then we are the idiots. And like, we loved doing those. Like that was, because you're like and then we are the idiots and like we loved doing those like that was because you're like we loved the ones where you went at your own side we would do these ones where we would like make fun of liberal hollywood yeah yeah yeah it was like fun when you got to like either go at your own side or but you're like yeah it's so weird at a trump rally like talking to a nice woman and just trying to make her look like a fool i was like yeah this ooh, this is hard. Yeah, it also just was not our comedic sensibility either.

Although we had a lot of fun on it. That was just a piece where I was like, great job, but I'm not good at this. But it's those kinds of shows where I do think it's hard to know, like, should The Daily Show have on politicians? And I'm like, well, if you are, then you need to be fully newsy in this moment. Or at least aspire to be Jon Stewart and be like,

I'm going to try to really go at you. I'm going to put you on the hook for things. But even then, his version... It's still gray. I would love for the Tonight Show to just have a no-politician policy. It's just unless you're a skilled... But even the news has become that too.

Especially on the national level. Because I also think we just have made them fully figureheads and then also now people are not even invested in local politics which is like the only shit

that actually really matters to you in your life so I'm like I wish you would have some weird you know like state assembly woman

I've never heard of on Colbert I'd be like maybe use it to platform people who could like speak on local issues but that would never happen

I ultimately think it's like a politician a politician should go oh I don't want to be on camera with the comedian because never happen. I ultimately think it's like a politician should go, oh, I don't want to be on camera with the comedian because the comedian should, I think in theory,

my idea of what comedy is is like the comedian should be poking hole at the politician. The politician should go, no, no, no, I would never do that show. If they want to do it,

then what the fuck is wrong with what you're making? So, yes. Yes. You kept it real vague. No one can connect The dots together We recorded this

I can't believe They cast Trump and Titanic I know So messy It's funny We're not We're not that far

We're not That's not that far Trump is Is funny Is funny He crushes Victor Garber The guy is Trump is Victor Garber

That is the thing about him. Come on. Producer Tova. Come on. If Tova signed Trump just out of the blue. She's like, that's my type. That's my style. I was wrong before, actually.

This is my type. Trump's my type. Old. Do you have a this has got to stop? I do. Mine is kind of, okay, well, I'll just say. This has got to stop when someone makes a hobby their personality. I'll give a specific example.

On Instagram, when someone is like plant daddy. And it's like, you just like plants. And that's amazing. But this can't be your whole, this is insane. Or, you know, Jim. A plant stepdaddy if you want more money. A little less money. You know what I mean?

Or if someone is like, Jim is another example. But then even people like, I guess it goes to like a hot topic type of person, like Jack Skellington. And they have like a lot of Nightmare Before Christmas stuff. And it's like, this is who you are. There's definitely people who are like, Halloween is my month. Yeah. Halloween's my thing. They really are prominent on social media that month.

I think people should, they should realize that they contain multitudes. And while they can love plants, that's not all they are. It's a Disney adult thing. It's a Disney adult thing. I was about to say that. But I feel bad because you look at those people and you go, at least it's this and not guns. Yes.

Yeah. At least some of them exist. It's not either Disney or guns. It's either Disney or guns. That's the only two things you can be into as an adult. I did see this one person. They had a tattoo. It was the Blue Lives Matter flag in a Mickey Mouse.

Yeah. Oh, there's a, I love that. I love the specific Disney adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They contain multitudes. There you go. And Israel Palestine has brought this up. Even amongst Disney adults, they don't all agree.

You know? That's what we're finding. And maybe it just comes from, you're like from you're only seeing it on Instagram or something. It's like everyone feels the need to brand themselves. But I'm talking about even in conversation, when someone won't stop talking about the gym or something. It's like, you got more going on in there. Yeah. It's got to stop, don't you think?

I agree. People contain multitudes. Well, as everyone knows, I'm kind of a yoga daddy, and I'm on the road doing yoga a lot. Yoga daddy. So, sometimes I say I don't want to go do

the chains. I don't want to do the core power yoga. It's so hot! It's not Bikram, though. No. Still, it's hot. So I'll go to a local class. And sometimes, yeah. I love limbs.

You gotta embrace the lanky. Bring the lanky back. Make it a compliment. I'm bringing lanky back. That would have been a good parody 15 years ago. Or 15 years from now It's timeless My god, you mentioned Halloween

Jack Skeleton Talk about lanky Original lank This is mean, but he'll never hear it Jack Skeleton won't hear it? Yeah A friend he made He made a lot of money

He fell into some commercials So so he was thinking about, he's going to start filming things. And he filmed a kind of absurdly expensive but low budget, just a recreation of Jack Skeleton singing Christmas Time. What's the song? No, it's the Hollywood. Christmas Town. Yeah.

Christmas Town? Yes. What's this? What's this? That's why it takes up more time. Amazing song. No, but he also did Monster Mash. Oh, Monster Mash.

As Jack Skellington. As Jack Skellington? No. Was he in full? Yes. And that looked good? Okay. Well, here's the thing.

Here's the thing about the Jack Skellington one. Sure. He released it. He got behind in the editing. In end of January. So at the end of January, he said, hey, I didn't get around to this so releasing it now. Gotta wait.

Every year. You gotta wait. When we saw he released it the end of January, I was like wow, he really got behind. And it was very highly produced. There was a lot put into

it. Anyways, don't look it up. Don't look it up. If it gets 20 new views, he'll be like, whoa, what's going on? Put the link in the description page. Okay, so this is going to come off as bitchy, but I pick a local class, and

sometimes, this happened to me yesterday where, like, I got there. And it was like they said it was level three. And I was like, okay. That's your level. Let's get a sweat. That's my level. And the teacher was like, okay, with Thanksgiving coming up, there is a Native American philosopher who wrote this speech for Thanksgiving that people haven't adopted because we're all colonizers. And between each

pose, I'm going to take a break and read a passage from this thing. And again. So you're relaxed. You're getting more and more relaxed. Thinking about colonization every vinyasa. And it was just one of those things where I was like, I want to be like, I

agree with you, but can we just do the fucking yoga? Just us doing yoga in and of itself. That feels level four or five. Yeah. It's a very, you know, it's chakra. Do both at once. And I just, there's every once in a while I get a yoga

teacher where I'm like, go do an open mic. That's what you want to do that's not that's not what this is and and and or they'll talk about astrology so much and i want to be like please this you you i'd rather you talk about jesus christ it feels like the same thing you're just telling me something that i don't believe in yeah and uh just give me the fucking just give me the moves give me the moves give me the moves give me the lizard um josh josh took a yoga class with me and i actually love this teacher but what was she on the fucking... Just give me the moves. Give me the moves. Give me the moves. Josh took a yoga class with me and I actually love this teacher. What was she on? Bipeds? Oh yeah, one time

she kept talking about bipeds. She had just read an article. She was like, well, we're bipeds. As bipeds, you might find that this moves. But she said bipeds 15 times in an hour, so you're like, what's going on? It was like, you're in a pose So you're like, what's going on? It was like you're in a pose.

You're like, I can't. I'm really focusing on the biped. Are you a big yoga daddy? I'm a yoga daddy. Aaron's a big yoga daddy. Yeah. I enjoy yoga, but I wouldn't dare call myself a daddy. I just realized that you're wearing this shirt.

I didn't even see it until now. Titanic. Wow. I'm making a visual joke. Wow. I don't know what the joke really is i've been saying titanic for hours maybe i'm saying the shirt that's you guys quite how many times have you seen titanic we've seen it every iteration you saw the first la like shit concert reading yeah we saw and then a reading here and then we watched the streaming during coven we are heads rank your uh rose's moms oh yeah oh absolutely i only remember the original yeah

i saw even gorino very funny guy he was uh he's so good i we need to go back to see drogi i know he's out soon i think i think he's in it through the end of the year maybe okay okay okay is that the video that I saw? That's what he once told me. It was surreal to see someone else do it. Yeah, Drew's done it. I've got to go see it. I've never seen it.

Did you do the whole New York? Did you start New York? No, I didn't. Someone else did it at Asylum. Who did it? I remember he had curly hair. Ryan. Yeah.

He was very funny, too. They've all been good. I came in when they did two. Well, the part plays itself. Right. Yeah, you weren't even acting. A dog could do it. A police dog.

Final segment. You better count your blessings. What was that? Is there a third cue that Douglas did that we didn't use? That's my friend Douglas Goodhart. I don't know if it's programmed in here. No, but there was one other segment that we never used, right? Yeah, I don't think it's in the board right now.

What was it called, though? It was I've Got Some Bad, Bad News. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I want to say Douglas played the lead in Man Who Came to Dinner and was wonderful. Wow. And he did not need line readings from the director. No, he wouldn't.

We were having drinks with Douglas, and we said that you were coming in and Russell was like, come on the episode. And I was like, I only have four mics. He just invited him and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? I don't have any more wires. Babe, we'll get a lav. We'll throw in a fifth mic. And he was really hesitant. I was like, no, let him come on.

It was crazy. He was blown away. Josh is sort of meeting him. I'm told I don't get a mic. I'm told to just scrabble when I have something to say. I think Doug and I were in a lot of stuff together

because we did like the play. We always did the plays. Just so you know, Douglas. Douglas, sorry. Oh my God. Dead named him. Yeah.

That's so funny. But we did. I love, I love the full, I love that with all boys feel like they have to like Michael instead of Mike, David instead of Dave, Douglas instead of I love, but people don't,

it's, there's something like, um, mask, like people don't like it. It's like, it's like gay to say the long name. I feel like in Texas People don't like it. It's like gay to say the long name. I feel like in Texas. It's a gay?

No, that's what I don't think it is. I'm like, why is it gay to be David? But it's like, why are you gay? Yours is pretty long. So watch out. You might be gay. Don't I know it. Don't I know it.

Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it.

Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Don't I know it. Yeah. People are like, it's very American.

It's like, what are you putting on air? Is it French or something Calling yourself David My dad calls me Gianni And then Tova does but that's it I went by G I was a goth at the beginning of high school And I went by G

A goth A goth daddy Wow I'm trying to see it I want pictures of this I want pictures of you as a goth daddy. A hot topic daddy. I'm trying to see it. I want pictures of this. I want pictures of you as a goth doing Tevye. Sure. What happened is I went to a summer camp.

There was a... Slippery slope. Yeah. I was on a party. I was trying to kiss somebody. And there was these two goths. This goth guy, goth girl. And the goth guy was like, you should kiss him.

And she was like, okay. And I was like, that's how goth works? You were goth without any of the culture two goths, this goth guy, goth girl. And the goth guy was like, you should kiss him. And she was like, okay. And I was like, that's how goth works? You were goth without any of the culture of goth. Like you were not listening to music. I was totally, they were doing ice and salt. Salt and ice, you know what I mean? That's where you give yourself a scar. You put salt and ice and salt and ice.

And I was like, oh, that sounds like it hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to be a theater. It was going to be a theater. But there's a little bit of a crossover. You wanted to be goth to get laid, which is, I think, like such a low priority for most got to be a theater, but there's a little bit of a crossover. You wanted to be goth to get laid, which is, I think, such a low priority for most goths.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I'm realizing now my this has got to stop, too. It's like, that feels very child where you're like, this is my whole personality, but that is part of growing.

You have to be like, I love this. This is me. And then you change, but when adults do it, it's eerie. Yeah. When they do goth?

No, when they just pick a thing to be their whole thing. You know, if a little kid is like I love plants they know like 10,000 facts about you're like this is darling and next year

you won't quit you know like you'll be honest I'm not going to tell you that much but when an adult does it it's like stop

I'm going to keep going back to my adults need to stop having interests just making it their only thing I know do you have a blessing

a blessing I forgot mine thank you Do you have a blessing? A blessing? I forgot mine. Thank you. Oh, I don't have my phone. Do you have a blessing? Yeah, it's not... I had a really good poop today, and it was like the kind where it both feels good, felt good.

Jesus. And it's like a dog where it was like, oh, I barely have to do any work. Clean. Clean. Yeah, love those. I don't want to do graphic, but every so often it happens where you're like, wow, that was really clean, really nice, and I felt relieved and good. And it was a good thing.

This has been his last nine blessings. I've just begged him. No, no, no, no. I wish it was my last nine blessings. Hello. How good I felt from it. But yeah. Do you have a blessing?

Yeah, I got my Christmas tree early. And that's, you know, I feel like you always are like, you got to wait till after Thanksgiving. And I got it this weekend and I was so happy for it. Especially because I always leave for Christmas. So I was like,

I deserve the extra week. Yeah. There's several, they're all over the place now, I would say. Already? Yeah, absolutely. They're like the weed stores. The one I always go to in McCarran Park

Has been open for like a week And I walked by and was like, I got Greg's Trees So I had to go to Greg's Trees I've never gotten a tree as an adult Oh, I love to get a tree Well, I just get a little tree and it's way too expensive Because it's New York, so it was like 50 bucks But it's like 3 feet tall, really full

But like a tall one, because we get tall ones, they're like $60. Really? Not at Greg's Trees. You're in Williamsburg. I was going to say. That's like $100. Yeah, I was going to say. It's at least $100 for a real tree.

Come up to Harlow. Imagine if I put a big Christmas tree just right in the middle here. I'd love it. It would take up the whole goddamn room. I just think particularly because you want to be like, we'll get one holiday out of the way before you get the next one. But Thanksgiving and Christmas should be allowed to blend into each other. I think Tova...

Not as big of a total shift from Halloween where it's like spooks and now thankful. Yeah. These are close. I think Tova told me, I may be misremembering, that she was like, I don't know if I'd like...

That a Christmas tree would be weird for her. Jewish. Because she grew up so... Because I think it's more... It's not just like that's a Christian thing. It's more just like her identity was existing while everyone did Christmas

it's much bigger than a menorah they do take up so every year we're like we have to get a smaller one and it's like they kind of only have little guys or like motherfuckers I just love the smell and I love bringing the outdoors in it was fun you took out the old case of ornaments.

They were all wrapped. Half of them are broken now. It's memories. It's memories. It's lovely. What's your bliss? I remember mine now. Today, I had therapy, and I had it on Zoom.

So I'm in my own home, and my therapist complimented my armchair. And I love that armchair. And that felt really, really good to get that validation from someone who you're paying to send it. But he doesn't usually compliment my space. He usually compliments my growth. Yuck. My blessing, Tova has a CPAP machine and there was this

horrible thing, it's new, and they get the data of how much you're using it. What is this? A CPAP for snoring. I didn't know what that was. It's been tough. She has night terrors.

She snores, all these things. It was this awful thing with the insurance where she had to use it for at least four hours a night for 21 of the first 30 days for the insurance to cover it. Like, you had to prove that you were using it. And they got the data.

Like, it felt very, very, like, big brother-y. Yeah. With you. Hell yeah. And, you know, she just struggled where in the middle of the night she'd have a night term, she'd rip it off. And doing four hours was very tough. But she finally completed that run.

So now it's covered by the insurance I think indefinitely and we can actually try to fucking use it now that we have it. Or she can throw it away. Throw it away.

Yeah, that's the thing. Can you put it like on an animal or something? I asked. I asked. I said, can we leave it on? Yeah.

But honestly, because I have a deviated septum so I would do the nose piece. I couldn't. Me too. Yeah? Deviated septum. Tova has a type.

You're so Jewish. Yeah. Tova likes that upward view where one nostril's gross and totally filled. I'm congested all the time. First thing to go always is the nose. In yoga, they say breathe through your nose. I'm like, fat chance. Yeah, good luck.

You do this one where you do one nostril, two, and I'm like, you do this, I'm going to die. Yeah, truly. Fat chance, honey. Do you ever have a fear that you're going to get kidnapped? They'll duct tape your mouth, and you'll be like, I can't breathe through my nose. It's just specific. And they'll be like, shut up. Yeah, I don't have a fear that you're going to get kidnapped They'll duct tape your mouth And you'll be like I can't breathe through my nose And they'll be like shut up I don't have that fear

I should Maybe if they're nice Put a little hole in it Like what you do when you cut a frog In the jar Or maybe I go tape the nose But that says help help That's why they tape

the mouth. Yeah, but I'll promise to be quiet. But they ain't gonna trust you, babe. I'll promise. They'll trust me. We'll build a rapport. Yeah. This is coming out December 4th. This is why I have the fucking document. I lost the first

page. It's called The Downside. December 4th. What do you want to plug? The movie being out on VOD, I would say. And we have shows at the Bell House. Oh, that's so true. We have something to plug. We have two big shows at the Bell House. Those are unfortunately sold out,

but now we've added a late show that we're returning to our improv roots. And that is not sold out. Improvisational comedy with Jeff Hiller on television and other fame, and he's going to do it with us. Yeah. So that is so amazing.

What are the other shows you host? You host a lineup? Like a big variety show. Yeah, of course. We got a band. We sing some songs. It's Christmas. Sorry, Tovo.

But I know she doesn't want a tree in the house or a Christmas show in the bell house. Maybe you now drop down in her. Yeah, that's true. You have a tree. Sure. I got to milk this before December 4th, because then it's over, baby.

The run is over. But yeah, that's on what? The 21st? 21st, I think, is the improv show. And also, yes, our feature film is on video on demand. Yeah, I'm going to see it in video on demand. And it's still in some theaters nationally. Maybe not by December 4th.

That's true. But then on Australia and New Zealand. Oh, yeah. To all of your Australian and New Zealand listeners, it actually is coming out there. I think December 4th or But then on Australia and New Zealand. Oh yeah, to all of your Australian and New Zealand listeners, it actually is coming out there. I think December 4th or 5th. This I don't know, but you keep saying it. This has not been shared with me.

It was shared with you. Is there one platform you want people to go to more? It doesn't matter. We did Amazon. I think it was $95 to rent. Yeah, now it is the expensive. You have to pay for it. So sort of wherever, I think.

Whichever one you're morally most comfortable with. But watch it. I know my sisters listen to this podcast, and I would think that they might not know. They might go like, oh, this wasn't made for me. You'll fucking love it. Oh, yeah. Victoria, Katie, I fucking promise.

It's so good. I can't recommend it highly enough. Please watch it. We will put a link in the description. Really, it's been a long time since I laughed that hard at something it really is so good it's crazy Russell what do you want to plug?

well follow me on Instagram at Russell J Daniels I'm not on stage in Gutenberg the musical but if you go let me know and I will let you know if I'm ever going to be on stage. Cool. Very vague plug.

I will be in Springville, Utah, December 7th through the 9th. Memphis, December 14th. Not the most impressive run coming up, guys, but next year's exciting. Lots of premium tickets still available. Canceled left and right

at the door road dog you're my road dog come get the Hamas row it is cheap taped off for Hamas

you can be Jewish and Hamas we exist I'm sure you're waiting for government waiting for Hamas you always have that one taped off

waiting for Hamas just in case already forgot just waiting December 15th 16th Janesville Wisconsin

and then guys the big one I'm headlining the Philly Punchline December 28th 29th and 30th and join the

Patreon patreon.com slash downside and you know enjoy the holidays because who knows how many more we're going to have

yeah this is the downside one two three downside You know, enjoy the holidays, because who knows how many more we're going to have. Yeah. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.