The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #185 The Most Brutal X Factor Audition Of All Time with Emily Wilson (Patreon Exclusive Excerpt)

Episode Date: February 3, 2024

In the excerpt of this Patreon exclusive episode, comedian Emily Wilson joins us to share one of the most brutal X Factor auditions of all time (and how the whole thing was planned by the producers). Join the Patreon for only $5 a month to watch the rest of the episode where Emily discusses having a Broadway themed Bat Mitzvah (but not singing any Broadway songs???), and starting a YouTube channel with a boy who rejects all your advances (before he was out of the closet). Plus, get early access to episodes and exclusive bonus content like this. Watch the episode clip HERE! Follow Emily on Instagram, TikTok, & YouTube Get tickets to Emily's show Fixed + all upcoming shows at https://www.therealemilywilson.com/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on March 4 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/744000544657?aff=oddtdtcreator OR come to our first live podcast recording in LA on March 14! https://www.ticketweb.com/event/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi-hollywood-improv-the-lab-tickets/13295123 Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I met my childhood best friend. He actually came up to me in the hallway and he said to me, hey, I heard everybody hates you. Wow. It was so funny. We just immediately became best friends. Does he have a good sense of humor?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. Like, that feels like a cool thing to say as a middle schooler. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was. And I didn't know.

It was so shocked to the system of, like, someone being that blunt and funny and wanting to be my friend. And he was a singer, too. He sang, too. And he also, singer, too. He sang, too. And he also knew that I would do the talent shows alone in middle school. And so we bonded over singing and became quick friends. We made a YouTube channel together. It was like early YouTube.

Early YouTube. Any videos pop? Any big bangers? You know, we had like 2,000 subscribers. Back then? In 2011? Yeah. Pretty 2011. Yeah No videos popped but

Until our audition we doing covers. We're doing covers. Yeah, Bruno Mars Colby Kaye Like you know the works and what was like like were you doing music video style lip-sync by the piano? in front of a laptop reading the karaoke lyrics. Photo booth. That was it. Oh, photo booth. We all went through photo booths. Oh, yeah. My first girlfriend, like, she just would, I'd go to my photo booth, and she had taken,

I don't know, 500 pictures of herself, just like, really? Yeah, that was like an act of love. And I was just like, alright, we're different, our brains are different, and that's fine. There's so many pictures in here. Yeah. That is so middle school way of flirting, of you go over a boy's house,

and you take pictures on his photo booth for him to find later. So hot. What's she doing now? You know, theater, theater stuff. Right, right, right. So you met him? Yes.

And you're both, you're both,, you like to, you make stuff together. I mean, that's great. Yeah, big dreamer kids. I'm still waiting to find someone who's equally as excited to make stuff with me as I am with them. So then you go, what is this, a middle school that goes, same high school, all one thing? And you're both, so where does it go from there? YouTube videos? Yeah, so we had a YouTube channel.

Austin, yes? Yeah, his name's Austin. My name's Emily, so our channel was called Awesome. And as in the word. Did we all get that? Because it didn't feel like everyone. I was expecting a bigger like. Well, even when.

The world had the same reaction I watched the clip today and it took me a minute because I was like saying awesome and then you gotta see it and then you gotta hear your names too with it and I was like oh it took me a while even though I was watching the clip to get

to okay anyways listen it was a problem for us then it's a problem for us now so okay so you get to high school yes and then what you start auditioning in the city well so Austin used to go on these auditions in the city like for Nickelodeon like he was going these like kid acting on this show and I would just tag along for fun and would you actually go in audition to know I would just sit in the waiting room. To go into New York City and even him being near someone auditioning

was so cool. So I would just go for fun. I was also in love with him and he was deep in the closet. So I would do anything. That was actually a huge part of it. New York City, I was so in love with Austin. Because I was going to ask, the moment he said I hear everyone hates you,

in my mind, immediately, knowing just that, I was everyone hates you, in my mind, immediately, knowing just that, I was like, he's gay. And I don't know why, but that's just what came to my mind. I was just like, to be able to approach a girl at that age and be kind of witty or something, like something, there has to be something not interested in them to be that smooth. Yeah. Totally. Do you know what I mean?

If I was into a girl, I'd be like, here, I love you. Oh, shit. No, 100%. But when I heard it, I was like, my husband. I found my husband. It's amazing. From the get-go, were you singing these songs on YouTube just like, kiss me, Austin? I was like this is

such a good story like the kids are like it's amazing that we sang together and and then like the laughter one like this after once so yeah I mean yeah imagine if your parents came to you and they said hey Russell we have 130 videos of me and your father singing hits from the 70s. Don't you love this story? Don't you want to watch it all? That's what they would... I have people come on the podcast sometimes and they're like,

I don't want to say this in case my kid listens to it one day. And I'm like, how do I explain this to you? Your kid will never listen to this episode of this podcast. If my dad had made a whole podcast, I'd listen to one episode. I'd not listen to the whole... I'd not listen to him guesting this podcast. If my dad had made a whole podcast, I'd listen to one episode.

I'd not listen to the whole... I'd listen to him guesting on other people's podcasts. There's no world in which I'd be like, you remember the song Break Even by The Script? You want to see me and daddy stare at a screen while we sing our version of it? No way. You had feelings. It didn't bubble up ever?

There was no move made or you were frustrated. Oh, I confessed my love to him all the time. And he would be like, stop. Um, that's so funny. You just keep making music though.

You'd just be like, it wasn't, he'd be like, stop. And you'd be like, in the name of love. Yeah name yeah no I would write him these like birthday cards every year which at the end of which I'd like and if you ever want to date me one day that would be so cool and he'd read him like Emily can you not like which I

should have known like what straight guy would do would not take me up on any offer well that's the question was he was he like he was like hey can you talk me up to any offer. Well, that's the question. Was he like, he was like, hey, can you talk me up to Victoria? He had a girlfriend all the time. He was also extremely handsome. We should get him on here. Sure. He's amazing. He was very handsome.

He always had a girlfriend and they all hated me because I was spending all this time with him and I was clearly in love with him. Sure. So you're going to these Nickelodeon auditions. Did he book anything exciting and you were like... i can't remember i don't think so was there any part of you that was like what if i went in that room yeah yeah but it's i was like how sure so so so then eventually one day so eventually one day he calls me and he was like x factor is coming to new jersey we should audition and i thought it was like another Nickelodeon show.

And I was like, they'll let me? But then he sent me and it was like, Simon Cowell was bringing the X Factor to America for the first season. And the auditions were the next day in Newark, New Jersey. Oh my God. And he was like, let's go, let's audition. And so we had like skip school and everything.

And my parents were like, sure, like sure yeah okay because it sounded so exciting and it was like this was the heyday of American Idol reality TV so did X Factor it was in England was it after like what was Simon's I'm always confused how Simon was American Idol Simon had just left American Idol

it was like a big deal that he was leaving it and he was going to come back and this was that new show. Got canceled after three seasons. Wasn't that great? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now it's back. It's in the UK.

No, no, it's gone. So America's Got Talent is the one with the big X's. Yes. That's what you thought. That's why I was confused. Okay, yeah. Why were you confused exactly? Well, because I was like,

isn't this the show where they ex people? And you thought they should have pressed it? Okay, so. No, I was waiting for like, because that was the whole thing. And then that's why. So you had one day. And had you ever performed live with him?

No. Oh, talent shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you would do like these ballads? No, we would do like we did like Don't Stop Believin'. We did like the Glee version like with the Glee like like behind us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now in high school, was it cool yet?

No. No. It was never cool. Because our high school like the acapella, I'm not saying everyone loved it, but it was like there were enough pop songs that like when they performed at assemblies. Right. It was cool. No, for us it was like.

We were called oral. It was like oral pleasure or something. Everyone was like, whoa. You know? Right, right, right. We had like the theater kids. It was so uncool at my school that it didn't even rank. Like no one even knew who does what.

Like they were not even on the ladder of who's cool it was just not even there did they have an acapella group there no did you know no because i love public high school yeah there's a lot of dirty names there's just like a lot of dirty named acapella groups yeah yeah i love there's one that was just like cum guzzlers it's like what does that have to do with it's like nothing nothing. It's just... We just have the balls to say. Okay, so you're... So you go to a cattle call for X Factor. Yeah, so we wake up at

3 a.m., we go wait in line at 4 in the morning in Newark, New Jersey, in a long line down the block at the Prudential Center with thousands of people, thousands of people lined up. Are they filming it too? There's cameras? Yeah, and there's news reporters.

This was total reality TV world. We got there first. We were the first people to audition that day at all. We were crazy. We were like, we're going to get famous. You showed up at what time you said? Three in the morning.

We woke up at three and got there before. The audition started at ten or something.? Three in the morning. Well, we woke up at three and got there before. The audition started at like ten or something. Wow. When you're the first one there, you've got to be like, did we fuck up? There's no one else here. No, we saw cars pulling in and we ran. Uh-huh. To make it there first.

And who was that first thing? That wasn't with the judges there. No, so you have like a few rounds of producers and so these were producers. So we made it through all those producer rounds before then doing the judges. You did the same song each time? What song? Same outfit. Jar of Hearts.

Oh, yeah. Okay. But I feel like when American Idol because American Idol first season, that was definitely like I was locked in. And they made it seem like your first audition, I mean it's part of the magic of it, they made it seem like your first audition, I mean it's part of the magic of it, they made it seem like your first audition was for the judges. Like that's part of the trick

of it all. So you went through one round? But the first round, did you what did they say? They loved us. So it seemed, they were like smiling and we were like, well we nailed it. We're going to win. It's over.

They just say, cancel the show. We found the winners. You're famous now. This 15-year-old boy and girl. Simon, get in here right now. Yeah. I mean, look at her denim vest. It's like we need more of that.

So then when was round two? Round two was the following day, I think, or the following week. It was very quickly. Yeah. And are you getting a, like, do you see it in front of you, the dream? Yes, fully. And we would see X's everywhere, and we were, like, praying. You would see it?

You'd be like, oh, my God, that's a sign? Yeah. That bridge has 10 X's on the side of it. That means we're going to get you 10 rounds until the next X. We would make our friends prove that they were telling the truth by like X Factor swear. Like you swear on X Factor. Oh my god. And if they lied on it, which one of our friends would lie on it and I'm convinced,

we were convinced that's why we eventually got voted off. Can I- We lied on X Factor swear. Just a quick note on like just theater kids, performance kids. Someone recently, they talk about Lady Gaga was very difficult in high school. And now her fans are like, well, you fucking loser. You should have liked her then.

And I'm like, I promise you, she was difficult in high school. I promise you that at lunch, you'd be like, shut the piano off now. Stop sitting. I promise. Because I was that person. Yeah, insufferable. I think music is the hardest just because it's loud.

It's just like there's no way to do it without being out there. We would be in mall food courts just like, baby, baby, baby, oh. Just like people trying to eat Panda Express on like, on their one break and we're just standing there.

Awful, awful. And people really resent, people really, they always make fun of the theater kids at the Denny's after the opening night or whatever. I think it's cute. If I was at a Denny's and someone hopped on the table and sang La Vie Boheme. Amazing. Amazing. At the time. Now I would be like,

get off there, um okay so second round next day they still love it uh any paperwork at this point yes so before or no paperwork after the real audition okay so third round is still not not for judges and what are they saying after this they're just going like thank you still like you yeah there's like more people yeah and then we started to get to know the people who were making it through and like they're really cutting it down and then they pick the people who will audition the judges because one thing that they do i've never been on america's got talent but but there are people who are like tried to were interested in me and at least what they do with their system now is like they have all these producers and

They pick their people and basically they get more money if like one of their people goes further in the competition They've created like a competition amongst those producers So like if one America's Got Talent was interested in me and then another one came I'd be like sorry So and so is already advocating for me you so it was almost like a little mini agent so is already advocating for me. So it was almost like a little mini agent situation just for America's Got Talent. And I don't know, I think that's evolved over the years because they just had to figure out how to get more talent constantly.

Back then, this was, I think, a little bit, they had more time to finesse and make a real show. Definitely. Okay, so after the third, they say you're going gonna be on the thing yeah we get a call like a week later that the audition would be in a month and then we had

to like pick our song which was we did pick we stuck with Jar of Hearts and then we like had to prepare and then just show up on the day and do your parents get it like this is a big And do your parents get it? Like, this is a big thing?

Yes, but they get it in the way of, like, this is amazing, you might be on TV. Not, like, my dad even now is like, oh, my God, you were really trying to, like, do something. It was, you weren't just like... Yeah. I thought it was like you guys were messing around. Yeah.

So it was, like, cool to them at the time versus me thinking like my life's about to change. You had a lot of people there. Yeah, we brought. That's why I kept asking, was it cool? Because I'm like, this seems like. You had so many people. Yeah. Well, let me be clear.

Austin was very popular in growing up or like very well liked. Were those all his girlfriends that were there? Yeah, kind of. It was his girlfriend's friends. Yeah, all these girls. They were all in love with him. This month leading up, were you like fucking training? Were you singing every day?

Yeah, we were getting ready. We were doing a lot of... I mean, we were more doing the superstitious stuff than we were training. I was looking for exes every fucking second. We didn't sing a note in that month. Just saving our voices well they seem to love us so much we were like this is it like we're amazing it's all gonna happen so we didn't really feel like we needed to change anything now i think looking back do you do you think there was any part of them that were like this is gonna be fucking this is gonna be uh interesting

of the producers? Yeah. 100, and I found out that that was the case. Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. So let's, let's. Oh my God. So, so I'm trying to think what's more.

So, so you, you go there. Has anyone ever seen this? Okay. So, uh, uh. We just play the full performance. Yeah. We play the full thing. Um, so you go and perform.

Mm-hmm. Nervous? Uh-huh. Yeah, we play the full thing. So you go and perform. Nervous? Uh-huh. 10,000 people. So stressful. 10,000 people. This was height of American Idol. People loved these shows. And so they would just come to watch these auditions.

I can't even watch those shows. Even watching this clip today, I was so stressed before it starts. Because there's all that thing. Everyone's waiting. You come out. And waiting, you come out. And everyone, you feel it. We're either going to start crying, because it's going to be the most amazing thing ever,

or we're going to boo, and it's going to be, or it's going to be so uncomfortable. They really boo. No, no, no. But there's like, you know that there's an uncomfortable element that is so stressful. Of course. Of course.

I think what, I did like a, for CISO, I did a reality stand-up competition for CISO. CISO was NBC's streaming platform that collapsed a long time ago. It was like a disaster. But it was like their comedy platform. And I'm

almost so glad. I did this, it was like I was one year into stand-up comedy. I had no business being in this competition. And like I didn't make it in the next round one year into stand-up comedy, I had no business being in this competition, and like I didn't make it in the next round, and not, and my stand-up wasn't great, but they also I was talking really fast, as I do, but they also edited me to make me look like I was talking even faster

than I already was, like even the two breaths I took, they cut out, and they cut to the judge just, they cut to the owner of Caroline's Comedy Club just going like... And it was a very small way of being like, these shows are not your advocate. They are here for the entertainment.

These are not your friends. And a small, small scale. Even now, I've had comedian friends who do America's Got Talent and if they have a mid set, they can edit it in a way where it looks like they fucking got silence. Like Joe Coy

at the Golden Globes level shit performance. And so, I don't even know if I'd ever do it because it's... It's so stressful. When you do a film set,

you want people on your side. This shit goes up forever. Yeah. No kidding. You go, you're in the, where is this filmed? Newark, New Jersey.

Newark. Yeah. It's a big theater. Prudential Center. Like a hockey stadium. There's this whole fake film of you're all in the waiting room.

Yes. Yeah. That's got to be one of the most most anxiety filled spaces. Yeah Yeah, mostly is it all singing? Yes Okay, and this show was unique because you could do groups So that's why Austin and I could go as a duet other all the other shows You can only be be one person. And X Factor has a groups category. So bands could audition. X Factor is what made One Direction. Exactly. You know that? No. There it is. So

you do your pre-interview stuff. Feeling still okay? And then you go and perform. Feeling so good that my quote I say in the interview is, if we could one day be at the Grammys and beat Lady Gaga, that's how I know we're on top.

I love it because the premise leading to the conclusion is so big. It's like if I said, well, if I won ten Oscars in a row, I'm better than Daniel Day-Lewis. No. I was like, sure.

The prompt was like, how will you know if you're on top? And I was like, well, if I get to the Grammys and beat Gaga, then I'll know I'm on top. That's true. I don't know what I would have. What do you think at that age someone shoves a fucking camera? I see how old 15 15 15. I can't I don't even I don't even know if I could talk about you know I mean like yeah, I would be oh did they did they ask both of you or were you like the spokesperson? I was self a self-appointed folks, okay, they definitely asked both of us and

And you and Austin would you, would you be like, I believe in you. Did you have a check-in before sets? Yeah, we had voodoo dolls. We were so aligned. We had a Lucky Charm voodoo doll. Are you still superstitious at all? Way less so, because it didn't work.

Sure. But, yeah. Superstitious, like, OCD-wise. Not really. Sure. Yeah. So then you perform. Do you remember how you felt as you performed?

Yes. And just so everyone, just to paint the picture of it, like, you had a little bit of choreo. There was, like, a walking towards, a walking away. A shoving. And it's just so funny, because... Sharp hearts is what we say. Like you had a little bit of choreo. There was like a walking towards, a walking away. A shoving. And it's just so funny because you're both so young that whenever you see young people enact that kind of romantic scene, it just feels like, oh, you guys are virgins.

You know what I mean? Can I tell you, when I was young, young in high school, my friend and I did a duet for some kind of competition thing. And it was this old Sondheim song about a middle-aged married couple. And it starts off, it's like, Too many mornings waking and pretending I reach for you. But you're imagining a 14-year-old boy who's never touched a boob being like, too many mornings.

Like this 50 year old married couple song. That's what the kind of... Also, 14, 15, it's not the age where it's charming anymore. A little kid singing it is like, a little girl singing Respect or something.

But then you get to 14 and it's just like, wait three more years. Become a real adult before you start acting like one. And when you're on stage, do you... I mean, you had this... Who were these people that came? These were your... Our whole grade,

kind of. And Austin's whole extended family. He's Italian, so we had all these cousins and everyone and my family and my friends. Everyone. There were and fifty people there and When shirts was it I know They said awesome we had like awesome shirts made by the way, I don't I like the name yeah Yeah, I like a good pun name if it's tight and it makes sense.

Yeah. So was it Paul Abdul? Is that who it is? Mm-hmm. So she raises her hand at one point. She stops it. Like, you were going to keep going. Yeah.

And they're like, OK, thank you. Yeah. Uh-huh. And in that moment, were you like, did you think you had rocked it? I honestly had no idea I remember going like I have no idea what they're about to say like they're either gonna love us or hate us and Would you mind for the people who haven't seen it walking us through right so what happened was after we finished The first judge was la Reid Justin Bieber's producer

And he said Austin I think you're a star, but I'm not really convinced of the duo. But because I believe in you, I'm going to say yes. And I literally, even because I do this whole hour-long show about this whole experience, and whenever that clip plays in the show, to this day, I still remember the, just like, of all possibilities. Watching it, watching the young girl version of you yeah hear that it's so upsetting it's like really like because then you're just on stage and you have to like and you you have to put on like you are you are being a trooper about it like yes i think i

think any anyone who's ever done anything theatrical or performance-wise can get it. Because you can't just cry on stage. No. I could totally see being in that situation and wanting to tear up or cry. And you have to... And you can see your cheeks are red. And you're just like, oh my god.

My dad said he remembers seeing my lip trembling and he was like, Emily, please don't cry don't, don't. Please don't cry. Like praying that I would just like not. Yeah. Yeah. There's one part that cuts to your dad in the back who goes like, what does he say?

He says, what are they doing to my daughter? That's not fair. Yeah. So he was the first judge. L.A. Reid was the first judge. Oh, L.A. Reid. Yeah. Yes.

And then it went to Nicole Scherzinger. And she was like, yeah, I'm sorry, but for awesome, no. But I believe in you, Austin. Yeah. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. And Simon. Simon said yes. Simon was the first judge.

Simon was the first judge. He said, I think the audience you're aiming at will understand you. Yes. It's very interesting that he was, he was really, I, first of all, I,

I liked means like Simon's become very soft, I think in the last decade or whatever, but me and Simon was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We wanted,

yeah. But he was, he was like, I get it. Yes. And so for the first one, you were like, all right,

you feel that rush in the grand scheme of things of your like experience it is cool to be like simon said yes to you totally because who cares about the rest of them yeah like in the grand scheme of like a memory you know yeah yeah agree uh so so then then just be producer says that then who was next was paul and that's Yeah, and so the whole thing was Nicole couldn't decide what to do. Simon was like, so do you want to split them up now? And send Austin through and send me home. And then she was like, oh.

And then it turned into real life 45 minutes of her trying to figure out. You're lying. So serious. 45 minutes? That's why he really seemed so frustrated. I thought he seemed

frustrated enough. It takes place in like 30 seconds on film or whatever. Yeah, like a minute and a half and Simon goes like, make up your mind

and then he walks away but it took 45 minutes? Yeah, in real life it was, well then they had us sing another song. We sang Viva La Vida and I'm like, I hear you.

You had to sing after that? Yeah, they're like, well let's see you do another song. And then they're, and I'm like, I hear you. You had to sing after that? Yeah, they're like, well, let's see you do another song. And then we're like, wow, your vibrato came through all of a sudden. That was good. That is awful. So they didn't show that part on TV.

Oh my god. After that you had to sing again? Yeah, and then all of our fucking 150 people are in the crowd like, Are we going to just delete the M? Are we not going to be happy? Threatening to split us up, it's like, yeah, it was a crazy experience. I say, just as I know, good TV. Amazing TV!

This is good TV. Amazing TV! This is good TV. And let me just say, if it was me watching it at home, I'd love it, but then it's like, oh my god, I'm now that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not that, but now I'm literally that person in the audition. And I was realizing all of that

in real time. So ultimately, they send you both, they advance you both. Yes. So can you and i i hope it doesn't i i don't mean to like exploit the sadness of it it's more that i can just like i can i can understand it so deeply you just experienced it to the highest fucking level we've all had it but when you went back stage yeah like were you just just run in a room, get away, I need to go cry? How did you

handle that? No, I swallowed all of it. They immediately took us into that room where they film your reaction of afterward, like, well, you know, I thought blah, blah, blah. Just pulled us right into that room. Austin, this is all in my show,

but you will all come see after this? Yes, go see it. We will plug in all the things. Austin immediately was like, we feel incredible! And you're like, he's gay! He's gay! And I then said...

Yeah, we do feel incredible. Yeah, I was like yeah, I'm probably a little more nervous than Austin is. You're listening to The Downside with Gianmarco Ceresi.