The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #192 Buck Wild Road Dogs with Pals of the Pod (Patreon Exclusive Excerpt)

Episode Date: March 9, 2024

In the excerpt of this Patreon exclusive episode, comedians Ariel Elias, Jay Jurden & Liam Nelson join to share the downsides of chaos that ensues as touring comics. Join the Patreon for only $5 a month to watch the rest of the episode where the gang shares the downsides of Gianmarco wearing a jockstrap and then discuss memorable stories from their years on the road like meeting Mr. Nipple Nuts, proposing as Chewbacca, fainting, seizures, and much more. Watch the episode clip HERE! Follow Ariel Elias on Twitter, Instagram, & TikTok For Ariel's upcoming shows and all the latest, visit https://www.arieleliascomedy.com/ Follow Jay Jurden on Twitter, Instagram, & TikTok See Jay in a city near you: https://linktr.ee/JayJurden Follow Liam Nelson on Instagram & TikTok Get tickets to Liam's shows at https://linktr.ee/liamnelsoncomedy Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on May 13 https://www.showclix.com/event/the-downside-w-gianmarco-soresi OR come to our live podcast recording in LA at Netflix is a Joke Fest on May 3! https://thecomedystore.com/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi/ Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain. From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the buzziest films at Sundance Film Festival, A Real Pain. Written, directed, and starring Oscar nominee Jesse Eisenberg alongside Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin. Witness a hilarious and moving story about two mismatched cousins as they tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Hello, Debbie Downsiders. This is Gianmarco Cerezi. Don't worry, the audio for this episode is better than what is happening right now. I am eating breakfast at a hotel in Edmonton, Canada. If you don't know where that is, don't

look it up. You'll never need to know. Never, ever. I hope that I can forget. This is an excerpt of a Patreon exclusive episode. As you may know, because I say it every goddamn episode. If you join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside, you get one bonus episode a month. It's just me and Russell. You get one live episode a month and you can watch my clean comedy special, The Rats Are In Me.

This particular month, instead of a live episode, we have this episode. It is me with my go-to opener, Liam Nelson, my previous opener, Ariel Elias, and then comedian Jay Jordan, who's opened for me once, but if I ever called him my opener, he would scoff. He would scoff. So we did an episode where we got to talk about just being road dogs, life on the road. And this excerpt is about all the medical emergencies that we have encountered in our days on the road. So listen, enjoy, and you can watch it on YouTube if you like to. And then if you want the full thing, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside.

Enjoy. We had someone who had a seizure at a show recently. Yeah. And I was at the next week, and someone in the front row went flying backwards, and I thought they had a seizure. It turns out they had too many edibles. But, like, his wife started screaming and started listing, like, all the things they had done that night.

She was like, we had a margarita, and then we had an edible, and then we did blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was fine, but I thought he was having a seizure. Okay, this was like a chunk in town where Gianmarco literally was trying to kill audience members. Were you just so excited because you already had all these lines from the last time? Sure. Well, honestly, what I did, like, from the last time, I was like, oh, I tried to help more at this time. And I got off stage to help.

And then the person there was like, you shouldn't have gone off stage. And I was like, Which person said that? I'm not going to say. Oh, a person who, got it. It wasn't like a doctor who was like,

you shouldn't have gone off stage. No, no, no. It was just like, it was like I was trying to help and I somehow fucked it up again. There's no way to win. But my point is, I started,

like Tova was saying, oh, it seems like more things, weird things keep happening at shows and I'm like, no, I think it's because there's more people. So the average of it happens more often.

And sometimes I see like Taylor Swift, who recently like, there'll be like someone died on the way to her show and she only donated this. Or like someone died on the way back from her show and she didn't help at all.

And I'm like, the average at this point that someone's dying on the way or from a Taylor Swift show, it's going up. She can't be taking care of all of them. It's just the circle of life. I mean, she financially literally can, but

yes, I understand. No, no, in a grander sense, yes. But the point is, she's not killing her fans. She's killing the planet, but she's not killing her fans. Any medical emergency yet? I had one before the show in Albany where a guy passed out.

Y'all were just at the funny. Yeah, we were there last night. Yeah. A guy passed out, and they're like, we're going to hold the show probably 15 minutes and get this situated.

And like, you know, in your head, you're like, man, get that dude out of here. But to the person, you're like, take as much time as you need. Listen, I want to make sure that this is the best show they've seen in this mall yeah i had one this was yeah i mean this was maybe nine years ago so i was not equipped to deal with this at all but my neighbor this was like my first year in new york I lived in a section of Queens where nobody goes because the train doesn't go there.

It's a super German area. And my neighbor hired me to perform at his Freemason Society annual banquet thing. Love it. Bootleg Illuminati. Friends of my places. Classic that everybody there is 80. Yeah. You know, open bar for several hours.

Dinner takes forever to come out. Then I, you know, there's a Billy Joel cover band, which was great, playing for a while. And then they just bring me up. Don't tell anybody what I'm doing, that it's going to be comedy. I get up there. There's also the way that the room was, was the right in front of me was the dance floor. Everybody's off to the sides. And then in front of me are mirrors dance floor. Everybody's off to the sides. And then in front

of me are mirrors. I could watch myself bomb. Uh, I, I was supposed to like read off after my set, like read off the names of the people who like, you know, were like on the chair or whatever. And then they were supposed to stand up and wave or whatever. I do my set. It was really bad. And then I started going through the names and they're all German names. I don't know how to pronounce this because famously Jews don't really live in Germany anymore. And then I read off one guy's name. This old dude stood up, waved and passed out. Wow. And it was like the second name I had read. I tried to make, I was just like, oh, I didn't mean to kill that heart. You know, like I,

I was like four years into standup. Oh my God. Also, what an attention whore. And then somebody came and took the list of names out of my hand and told me to go sit down. Because of that drift, they didn't like that.

He heard a woman say his name for the first time in 20 years. Nobody liked anything that I said and they were right. When this guy at the cellar fell backwards, it was chaos, and this one woman kept going, you really killed

and I was like, shut the fuck up. This man is dead, I think. Please. From weed? What a pussy. What about you? Atlanta? I've had... Oh, I was doing a show with Sam Murill

in Springfield, Missouri and a dude puked on his entire row during my set and I was hosting. Like five minutes into the show this dude pukes on five people. He looks to the side

projectile vomit across all of their laps. You hear their reaction. I just hear the vomit hitting the floor. No! There's a bunch of rustling around me. Like, oh no! Five people go running out of the room.

I did Alabama the Stardome. A brutal set. One of the toughest I've ever had to do in my life wait a second that's Birmingham yeah is it Birmingham

no it's next to Birmingham Hoover it's Hoover yeah yeah I was there yeah can I say something that's listen

that's that's the closest I've come to doing a church because that is a church that's a church black crowd so I don't even know

mine was but funny let me try to phrase this correctly so there was there were white audience members and there were black audience members several sections

yeah Alabama these white audience members I I was closer to the black audience members than I was to the white audience members and I was it was kind of like

you were still far from them but I was just like I was like speaking just to them and I was to the white audience members. And I was, it was kind of like, I was still far from them, but I was just like, I was like speaking just to them. And I was like, these fuck, I don't know what the fuck these, like, it was just,

these white people were not my white. They were not. So it was, it was tough. It was like, I did, I did a gun joke and someone left. And in my head,

I got that thought, they're going to get a gun and they're going to shoot me. And like, that's all I could think about. Someone leaving on your gun joke is ominous. It is ominous, but also I got that thought, they're going to get a gun and they're going to shoot me. And like, that's all I could think about for the rest of my life. Someone leaving on your gun joke is ominous. It is ominous, but also,

I love the self, like the main character energy of like, oh, they're going to ruin their life right now because I hurt their fifis. Sure,

sure. Marco, also, I want to let you know, Alabama, they had their gun inside with them. Yeah, they have it on their hip.

That motherfucker was on the table. Yeah, but someone has- He went back, he left to put it away. He's like, oh, this guy doesn't like gums.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I'll be respectful. But someone passed out there and I didn't realize it because, but what they did is they started like,

their friends started putting chairs around them to like hide it. And I looked at it. Were they embarrassed? I guess. They were like making a fort around the person.

And this is already like brutal set. And I called out the chairs Were they embarrassed? I guess. They were making a fort around the person. Carl passing out again. This is already brutal set. God. And I called out the chairs, and it was bad. They were like, our friend actually passed out, so if you could just keep going, what do you want to do? Were the chairs because people kept stepping on him or something?

No, it was not enough people for people to be stepping on. It was just, I think, a lady embarrassed. They thought they could hide it. But the seizure that Liam and I did in Tampa, it was... It was long. It was a seizure that you planted. It was 15 minutes.

What happened? From my perspective, I walk out to set up merch for literally two minutes. I come back in, everyone is silent and standing up. And I'm like, what the fuck kind of Steve Martin, everyone's about to walk into the street bit is he doing right now? But it's like a dude passed

out in the front row, and then, what was it, like the, like people were panicking, the nurses were like, he'll be, they started like, the nurses at the table right next to him started talking to him. By the way, this would make a great clip, and I can't. There's a part of me that wants to figure out an artistic way to do the before and the after.

Because literally, I talked to these three women in the front row, and they were all three ICU nurses. And I mean less than a minute. 56 seconds later, this guy passed out. Well, Gianmarco. And they immediately took care of him. It's like he heard that he was well taken care of. Gianmarco, whenever I make fun of crowd work, Gianmarco will be like, well, because I asked these women what they do for a living

I saved this man's life Do you think if you hadn't asked They wouldn't have done their job? I think they would have lied They would have been like What are us plumbers going to do about this scenario? And then I'm on stage

I'm holding the mic Do I sit down? Do I just keep standing here? Do I narrate what's happening? I have this mic, and they were looking for the manager. The manager wasn't coming. Oh, and how many people thought over the mic? It was just thought I had them.

I was like, oh, I have an amplification device. So I was just like, so I went to college for musical theater. And eventually, I got the manager over. They're like, oh, we need something to get him out of here. The paramedics arrived, no stretcher or anything. They said they needed an office chair. And I was like, I remember. And I was like, there is an office chair in the green room.

And so I ran into the green room. So he runs back. What if he would have been like, I'm going to take my time. I picked up the office chair. And then one of the bouncers came back with me. And he kind of offered to take the chair off my hands, and there was a moment where I was like, absolutely not.

You have a job. I am the hero. Right in front of the camera. No, no. It was not in front of the camera. It was in front of the camera. No, it happened to be there. I was not in front of the camera.

But it was there. I brought the chair. It was above your head, though. And that was fun. And then the manager kind of whispered to me Once they rolled over he was like do you want to cancel And I was like no And then what was fun is I got to

Just narrate for the audience All the things we felt for that moment And the guy He was fine I mean I called several hospitals after to look for an apology And They said he was fine. Okay, that's good.

That's good, but also people like, every point you told the story was like, was the guy okay? And I'm like, yeah, he was, and then he could have died

the day later. You don't know this guy. We just gotta put something at the beginning of the video, the guy was fine, and then go into the video. There were ten people that died that night, too.

What's sad is that when he does die, you're gonna be like, hey, you guys, this is a sad post today. You remember blah, blah, blah. Remember that guy who survived a seizure? He could not survive a car crash.

The funniest part was once we started going back to the show, everyone was like, all right, we'll resume the show. This woman started crying and another one was like, what's wrong? And she said,

because one of the guys was being escorted away. He kept going, I'm sorry. And the whole audience was like, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry. And as the show was starting, this woman started crying. The other woman said, what's wrong? And she said, because one of the guys was being escorted away. He kept going, I'm sorry. And the whole audience was like, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry. And as the show was starting, this woman started crying. The other woman said, what's wrong? And she said, oh, it's just I get seizures too sometimes.

And I say, I'm sorry. And there's nothing to be sorry for. And I was like, no, absolutely not. We're not, whatever this is, we're not adding this to the shit pile. Jean-Marco, yeah. Jean-Marco, Matt Rife rife would have been like baby i'll give you a seizure right now you're listening to the downside with john marco cerezi i hope you enjoyed this excerpt of the Downside podcast. To listen to the rest and the beginning, just join the Patreon.

Patreon.com slash Downside. Bonus episodes, live episodes, and my clean comedy special, The Rats Are In Me. Join now.