The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #203 Down the Clown Hole with Zach Zucker

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Comedian Zach Zucker (Stamptown) joins us to share the downsides of going to clown school in France instead of playing baseball at Harvard, literally singing out of your ass (but not in front of grandma), and why we should normalize nudity on stage. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Zach on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, & YouTube See Zach in a city near you: https://linktr.ee/stamptown Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on May 13 https://www.showclix.com/event/the-downside-w-gianmarco-soresi OR come to our live podcast recording in LA at Netflix is a Joke Fest on May 3! https://thecomedystore.com/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi/ Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. Welcome to the downside. I'm here. I just looked at the eclipse. Oh, we didn't do the calendar. Fuck. Do you have a marker? No, it's not okay. Do you have a marker over there? Do you have a marker over there? Can I say, I don't understand what this what the calendar is so the calendar because we really keep mentioning it i don't know because we release these episodes in advance hence the fact that there's an eclipse today even though this is coming out in three weeks the calendar is a little easter egg so

you know when we actually recorded it oh okay so so why don't you take that that permanent marker right there yeah this could be your new job this feels like a fun, like, Russell's here. And I'm going to mark the day? Yeah, circle the day that it is. X out the one. Oh, my God. It's my, okay, my sound. What a disaster.

We need to fix headphones. My headphone keeps going in and out. Hello, hello, hello. What's also kind of rad is maybe we just try and convince people there was a second eclipse. Sure. I mean. And they just missed it. Maybe we release this so, so far away from now. It is in time. Okay, it's back for a second eclipse. Sure. I mean, maybe we released this so far away from now,

it isn't time. Okay, it's back for a second. We need new headphones. Welcome. This is a chaotic show. Can I say something else about eclipses? What, they keep saying every time we have one, they're like, this is a once in a lifetime thing,

but we had one in 2017, and I just looked at both of them and unscientifically, they seemed the same to me when I saw the 2017 one and the 2024 one. So, I'm confused. I got glasses and looked. Did you notice a big difference? No.

But can we turn on the lights in here? I can't see. Oh, good. I was like, wait, really? Man, I guess there's some new eclipse technology i didn't really get the memo about here's my mind i don't want to yuck anyone's yum no no no and it's cool but it is not cool at all no it's a little cool to look and see the sun it's a little bit cool i just like wish more people got that enthused about other stuff that was actually important you know it's like everyone's planning to watch this right now. And it's like,

we need like glasses to watch the war crimes in Palestine. Yeah. And then people will be geared up about that. We give them glasses to watch anything at all. You know? Also people are buying those glasses. It's not like they're just giving out for free. I mean,

I was looking on the street. I thought, is everything okay? Oh, oh, nice. Cool. Sorry.

Yeah. Don't worry about it. Hey. I, I was shocked that people weren't selling them. When the earthquake happened, I saw some guy's store was selling Earthquake. I survived the New York earthquake that day. Okay, that's actually an epic shirt. Yeah.

It's incredible. I would love that shirt. Yeah. But would it be fun now? It would be fun that day. No, it'll be fun. I think it'd be fun if like in two years you saw somebody wearing a shirt that said i survived the earthquake and you're like which one you remember

that one in new york that one time you're like oh yo yeah honestly i might i feel a little new side hustle coming on for me sure there was that i remember kobe o'brien kobe bryant kobe o'brien kobe o'brien kobe that's kobe o'brien yeah yeah oh that was the first irish basketball player Kobe O'Brien. Kobe. Kobe O'Brien. Kobe O'Brien. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Kobe. That was the first Irish basketball player. Yeah, he was crazy. He did not score very much at all. He never played. His death was not memorialized by anyone.

No, no. They sold those shirts fast. Yeah. But I had this thought. I said, well, no one does this in New York. The way my mind works, I said, next eclipse, I'm fucking out there. You're going to sell glasses on the street? I don't care where my career is at. I'm going to go back down

to table selling these glasses. I would have paid 50 bucks in this moment. Looking back, I would have paid zero dollars. Yeah, wait, like right now, if you were like, I'm desperate to see this. He was desperate. You got here, like you weren't excited.

I was desperate. You got here early. You've never been here early in the entire history of the podcast. And you came for the eclipse. You guys have been here. I mean, I didn't want to put you guys on blast, but you guys have been sleeping here for a few days. Because you're like, I don't want to miss this eclipse. That calendar bit was all, this was pre-planned.

We shot this three weeks ago. I was in Texas this morning. And everyone's flying there, because if you're in the right line of the eclipse, it goes completely dark. That's awesome. That seems cool. Yeah, that seems cool.

You know where else is completely dark? In your house at night. Oh, yeah. If you close your eyes. Yeah, this is the anti-science podcast. You fucking nerds. You get a life. Take your glasses,

shove them up your ass. This is the downside. Take your glasses, shove them up your ass. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi. Can I say something about the earthquake? Two days after the earthquake, someone

from out of state texted me asking me if I was okay. And I'm like, how? When the news, it would be strange if only one person was affected by the earthquake and hurt in New York City, and it was me. And they didn't report on it. Like, yeah, there was one death. Sorry, we forgot to mention it on the news. I would have fucked with them. You know what I would have done?

I would have done like, hey, it's Nicole. Thanks for checking in. Nicole's his wife. Here's a true story. I don't know if I've shared it before where I went to a summer camp when I was younger. Oh, you've definitely shared it before. It was early. But it was some, I made some friends.

A girl I had a crush on. It was awful. It was like a pubescent summer. Like, people kissing. Go on. Hand over the bra. Exciting. And they, like, it was during AIM.

During AIM. Did you say AIM? I said AIM. I was weirded out by the AIM crowd. I said, let me think about it. You said that in the conversation every time. You said, let me think about it. I thought you said that in the conversation every time. You said, let me think about it and get back to you. I think I said AIM.

I said AIM, but people do AIM for sure. Yeah, it was a regional thing, and I never quite figured out where the splits were. Yeah. There's a perfect part of it where you could see AIM in all its glory, kind of like this eclipse, but everywhere else was AIM country. Yeah.

So this group i i don't know how i don't know if it's coordinated i don't know if if i wasn't liked i mean this is a pivotal moment they all ghosted me like at once so it was like i thought i it was like a friend group that i joined later and then there was a girl i had a crush on i thought we were flirting but there's another guy who liked her so i'm gonna going to pin it on him. But ultimately, all of them vanished on me. And I'm sorry about that. We just didn't really feel like a connection with you.

We thought you were the weird kid from out of town. I was going through a skater boy phase, so there was a lot of weirdness going on. What did you ride? What type of decks? He wasn't skateboarding. I wasn't skateboarding. He was just horny. He was just horny posing as a skateboarder. Did you at least have skateboard shoes?

Some Vans. I was kicking it in some Vans. Some independent hoodies. Some airwalks? I owned a skateboard, and I would take it to the grass and just do a manual in the grass. I could hold it for three seconds. It was really deep in the dirt.

Oh, yeah. If you got that mud grip in there, you could really just sink into the grass like that. Were you a skater boy? I was. We were called the gnarliers at my school. They called us the gnarliers. Who called you that?

It was kind of like self-imposed. Teachers. Teachers. You know, the guy that bought cigarettes for the group. We would look at them. We wouldn't smoke them. We started our own little jackass crew at the time. Because my holy trinity as a kid was South Park Jackass and Ollie G.

And Jackass was like that maybe fourth grade to eighth grade. It really had a chokehold on me. Really? And our group was called SOS, Save Our Souls. And we had videos out there. We branded one of our friends. I dropped a basketball off a bridge onto some kid's nuts. Oh, my God. Did he get hurt? Oh, yeah. He was like off a bridge onto some kid's nuts. Oh my God.

Did he get hurt? Oh yeah. He was like pissing blood for a few days. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. It was rough. And then I was like easily, like I tried to take credit of like being in the group, but I was like by far the biggest pussy in the group.

Like I did not do any tricks. I was like kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You like dropped the ball from standing. Yeah, yeah. That's it. And I'm like, I'll drop the ball. So I'm in on this thing. Yeah.

Or I'll be like hype manning it up. But I like Bam Margera energy with like zero delivery. And it's tough to reconcile with, but it's the truth, you know? Wait, were you filming it? No, no, no, please. I was one step above the camera guy. Oh, no, no, sorry. It was on YouTube.

The group was filming it though and showing people. I have a lot on my family's video recorder. A lot of this footage lives there on my friend jordan felix's hard drive somewhere what what other pranks so there's basketball in the nuts we had um we would we did some like shopping carts we did some like bush jumping like just jumping off like trees or houses into bushes thinking it was funny um god what was we did some like staple to the leg oh i know my friend robbie was like an amazing gymnast. Man, these are all these names and faces I've not thought of in 25 years. But Robbie was really good at backflips.

A lot of the video was him backflipping off stuff, and I was being like, yo! Yeah. And then the skating part of it, I was a decent skater, but nothing to write home about. But I can still kind of kickflip sometimes. I can still get off the ground. I can grind a little bit.

about but i can i can still i can still kind of kickflip sometimes i can still get off the ground i can grind a little bit but i i really was introduced to skateboarding through tony hawk the video game of course and when i found out how inaccurate grinding was in real life compared to the video game i was shocked it's when you like board slide the first time and you shoot the board out and you land on the rail on your tailbone and you're like oh this sucks like yeah but in tony hawk you'd like grind and you'd like grind for 30 seconds like just and just hop and grinding at most is like off yeah yeah oh it seemed like you would have had finger skateboards too that seems like something you'd be into you know it like a miniature guess what i never rode i was too scared i would take the finger skateboard in the grass and do a little shaking.

They were fun for a second, but I never learned the tricks. I remember one kid was really good at it in my school. He didn't do a lot of other things, but I remember thinking, wow, that guy's got him. Actually, I don't remember his name, but I remember I can see him in class. You're winking at me and you're doing kind of Morse code with your eyebrows right now.

If that was a skill that you've been hiding this whole time. Oh, my God. I'm really good at it. Oh, God. You didn't do any weird. Like, I did. Mine was my age. What age was this?

Like, when Jackass was happening? Yeah, or when you were doing the basketball to the nuts. That was, like, sixth, seventh grade. Sixth, seventh grade. Between, like, you know, 10 and 12. Yeah. Classic boy age. Mine was, I don't know.

I never had groups of friends, so I did it all by myself. That's why I never learned how to skateboard. I did it on my own. I did popping and locking, as we talked earlier. I did digits. Yes. Where that's like all the finger stuff. Hack the sack?

I know. I don't have the coordination. No, I know. It just seems like you could. Is that what you did? No, no, no. What did you do? Were you just a cool, normal kid? No weird things? No, no, no. Just jerking off. No, I know. It just seems like you could. Is that what you did? No. What did you do? Were you just a cool, normal kid?

No weird things? No, no. Just jerking off. Just jerking off. Mainly jerking off. Mainly jerking off and trying to have no one see me. Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's like cool and sick.

Yo, are you that jerking off guy who would jerk off by himself? Yo, I know you. Yeah. But you seem like you maybe would have dabbled with hacky For a little bit I could see you having that I think like skateboarding Like And breakdancing

There were so many things I wanted to do Yeah But I lacked All the physical strength Or coordination to do them How did you get into Breakdancing?

I think my My sister is a dancer Katie Kegel is a dancer And so she took Hip hop classes There were like Two guys at my high school Who did pop and lock for real. Got it.

One of them. For real. Like they can really pop and lock. One of them was the infamous. Do you remember we talked about that guy a long time ago? Yeah. He was, he was, he was, we might have to bleep it, but he was a, he was a nurse that went viral during the pandemic because he could.

Wait, was he a nurse or a doctor? He was a doctor. Give him credit. He went to school for a long time for that. Let's give him credit. Let's also credit his accusers that came forward a year later that ultimately led to the end of the... Whoa, I don't know any of this, and I love it.

I love this guy. So you went to high school with the... He's a serial... He was your best friend, you said. He was my best friend. Probably your biggest guy. So you went to high school with the he's Yeah, serial He was your best friend, you said. He was my best friend. Probably your biggest influence Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just with women. Yeah, yeah. Not dance at all. No male friendships. He'd go all the time on his private plane. Yeah. It was both

on his plane. You'd think the island it'd be like Yeah. The condo. Your name's all over his ledger. Yeah, you gotta see.

You're on his you're the only guy in the flight log. So I got into it through that. And I took break dancing with these guys who just were naturally coordinated. And without any of the muscle tone, I would be like, I'm going to learn how to do a bridge where you go on a handstand but arc over and then land in the back. And I'd twist my ankle immediately and it was like, yeah, maybe go to the gym first. Maybe climb one rope before you do high level gymnastics.

Just one. So... Did you have like an influence that got you into dancing that where you're like, I'm gonna try this now? Was it just... Mr. Wiggles was my favorite guy. Mr. Wiggles, who I've tried to get on the pod, not very responsive. Dang. Mr. Wiggles was my favorite guy. Mr. Wiggles, who I've tried to get on the pod, not very responsive. Dang. Mr. Wiggles,

he was like... I like ordered VHSs from Mr. Wiggles off his store that he probably shipped himself. Yeah. Where did you find his work? He was like one of the original B-Boys. Uh-huh. And I

listened to... Oh my god, I even forget the music. But I was just into, it was like four guys who invented the dance form. It's cool to feel like you're part of an evolving thing. Well, you never finished your story about what you did to that group of people, though. Yeah, so

I think part of the reason why they ghosted me is we had all said that we were going to make plans to hang out that winter break or something. You know, ambitious for the age that we were at. And they didn't. They didn't get back. So I think around winter break where it was we were going to do this hangout, supposedly, I wrote them all. And I said, hi, this is Jamarco's mom.

This is like a big group chat. This is Jamarco's mom. This is like a big group chat. This is Jamarco's mom. I'm very sorry to inform you that earlier this morning, my son took his own life. The first thing I did as a mother was go on AIM. And not a single one of them responded. Wow. And then what happened when you went to school?

Sorry, my mom was just being crazy. Different schools. Different schools. So these people think that they killed someone, and they're just walking around, and hopefully they've seen your viral content since. That's why I've been so determined to get famous, is so that they can see me and be relieved that I've made it.

Yeah. Dude. Have you talked to any of them at all since then? I mean, I was... Do you remember their names? famous so that they can see me and be relieved that I've made it. Yeah. Dude. Oh. Have you talked to any of them at all since then? I mean, I was. Do you remember their names? Like, could you look them up? Docs them.

Yeah. Yeah. I would. I'm bringing the, you know, I'm having fun today. It's an eclipse day. I'm feeling wacky. I would have to look. I don't even know where I'd begin to look.

Where would you look? The AIM records. Well, they deleted the records. Yeah. Oh. And they announced it a couple years ago, and I wish wish i'd pulled it because i feel like that's such a snapshot of all our lives oh my god do you remember you'd make like your profile and you're like away messages i'd like really funny i like the funny away messages and it was like you put like your

top five or your best friends in there you're like lol and you like laugh i felt like my my like profile felt like a drake album with like all of the features and it was way too many things. It's like, alright buddy, we get it. You got all these people on your album, but there's no substance here. I was happy. I'm happy that it's been deleted. There were things. I asked out a girl.

She had an AIM. In her profile you could ask a question and they'd get a message. I asked her out and we started dating. Never saw each other. She broke up with me before summer ended and i got a chance wow i had a few random girlfriends like that yeah like middle school where it's like you have you date for two days and you're like but then they broke my heart and it's like they live somewhere else and i mean i pray that they were actually uh the age that they were in the person that they were you know because that's a whole separate thing separate thing I think I didn't think about.

If she wasn't underage, I'm going to be pissed. She wasn't underage when I was underage. I'm fucking furious. If she was an FBI informant, I'm going to be furious. He's got a lot of pictures of me that I would like back right away. You ever do anything on AIM? Not like that. Not like that.

Not like that. You ever commit a crime on AIM? Not still active? No, I was not meeting new people on AIM. I was only talking to friends from school. We were there for the beginning. Yeah, we were. We were there for the beginning of the deterioration of humankind.

Yeah, we were there. That is crazy that we were there. We were first. And we were first because unlike some things in society, it didn't start with the adults and trickle down. It started right with us. It started. That's why they had to deal with,

speaking of all those predators online, because it was like they gave you the AOL CD. Your parents didn't know how to use it. No. They didn't know what AIM was. They thought that when they would ground me from AOL that this was a separate thing. They didn't know that it was a separate thing.

I was like, well, I'm not going to use my AOL. Oh, I can't see the weather for today. Please, mom and dad. Come on. I can't see the news. Oh, God. But I do remember being at birthday parties and people would go on in chat rooms and stuff.

And that always scared me. I didn't. I would be farther back from the computer being like, oh, God, who are you people talking to? You know what I mean? I remember a chat where, I don't know what it was, and some guy kept going,

I can't give it away without saying it, he just kept going KKK, and I thought he was saying okay vigorously, and then there was one point where I was like, oh, Ku Klux Klan. Oh, I gotta get out of this chat. That's crazy because to me, I would have thought you were gonna say, I thought he was saying Ku Klux Klan, but, I got to get out of this chat. That's crazy because to me, I would have thought you were going to say,

I thought he was saying Ku Klux Klan, but he was just saying KKK. But you were actually in a nationalist. You met a nationalist online. Yeah, I was like, oh, I thought this was a Nazi group. I don't know. I'm sure it was a kid. I'm sure it was you in the chat. It was me.

Just like being an edgelord. Early edgelord. Early edgelord. Me and the gnarliers causing problems. I know one phrase. Just like, yeah, KKK. I mean, this was one edgelord. Early edgelord. Early edgelord. Me and the gnarliers causing problems. I know one phrase. She's like, yeah, okay, okay, okay. I mean, this was when edgelord, it was okay.

It was like, okay, that's the worst you could do. Now they fucking swat you. God, lost too many, gone too soon. Yeah. Okay, you know how there's Amish, the Amish,

no electricity. Yeah. What if I propose, I go, okay, listen, we don't want to do no electricity. We go back

to an earlier form of electronic media. So we go back to AIM. What do we lose? And that's like where we stop. We lose,

you know, Twitter, TikTok. We lose TikTok. We go back to LimeWire and BearShare. Yeah. Gaza,

Khazad. Just downloading Saddam Hussein getting hung. Dude, I mean, that was it. It was like, I watched so much horrible shit as a child. Like, just, you know, people getting their arms ripped off and blown off. Oh, yeah. This person was thrown off a bridge. Yeah, yeah.

You're like, okay, I think that person really just got executed in front of me right here. Because that's what that shit became. Like how Twitter has become that. It's just like, you know, horrible. It's either like war porn or like porn porn. Or it's like, my alpha male brain, my brain's functioning on an alpha male level. Are you ready to take the plunge? It's that steroid guy.

It's the, he eats raw meat. Liver king or whatever. Liver king. And he's been exposed for steroids. And every comment under the ad is, you use steroids, you use steroids. There's a community note. He used steroids. But he's still advertising. There's stuff that pops up like that where I'm like, and every time I'm like, I'm not

interested in this, blah blah. And I'm like, how is he breaking through all this and being shown? And then there's this one game. This like couple's playing with rocks and like a magnet. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do know what you're talking about. And I'm like, I'm sick of fucking seeing that! And every time talking about. And I'm like, I'm sick of fucking seeing that. And every time it pops up, I'm like,

I don't want to see this fucking ad anymore. And it's just Liver King and that couple playing that game. And it's all day long. And I hate it. We're having Elon on next week, so let's talk to him about changes. What if you just, I don't know, what if you listen to the adverts? Take it. That's true.

What if I bought everything? You should become the liver king. Liver king too. Oh, man. We were texting recently about hip hop classes. Yes. And then we started talking about shrooms. Yes.

Allegedly, if there's any FBI AIM chat bots on here. And then there was one moment in the text where I feel like I saw the real difference between who you and I are as human beings. Oh, God. Can I read? It's not bad. I swear I didn't write that slur. That was not.

I would never say that word. My little brother stole my phone. All right. Let me see. So we were talking about shrooms, I was saying like, oh, they didn't take as many as me, but it was the first time we still had a good time. I wasn't complaining. I wasn't complaining. Let's read the full text. So we talked about ayahuasca. You said I've never tried ayahuasca. And I said, I think my biggest fear is I won't see something or have a revelation.

And then I'll get sad that there's no new drug that could get me there. It's the fear, the fear of the atheist. And you said, brother, what if I told you the greatest drug was life and you're seeing something every day? And I said, all right, this is going to be an interesting episode. I said, wow, that's the joy.

That's the joy that makes me believe I could never be a clown. Because I was watching a bunch of your stuff today and your comedy partner. Vigo. Vigo, who you got to watch it. I mean, I'm sure he has more transgressive stuff, but this is the Britain's Got Talent. Oh, yeah. And it was fantastic. It's so good, but it's so full of joy

in a way that I'm like, I don't have that in my heart. If I was a clown. I think you do. Not this, in moments, but like it is an overpouring of just joy and happiness. And I don't know if there's cranky clowns. There are.

I don't know if the cranky clowns win Britain's Got Talent. The cranky clown goes, Simon, you're a cunt. No. And well, Viggo Venn, he's my best friend and comedy partner. He's also just a clown of a generation. Like that man is, there's nothing he can do that doesn't make you fall in love with him and then when he is so his baseline is like you already love him and then you throw in the fact that this guy is the funniest silliest stupidest guy in the world it's like you know there's there's a reason he's

now uh rich and famous and successful and everybody loves him you know he's he's in i don't know if you how many of his videos you watched, but if you watched his second, his semifinals piece where he did the My Name Is with the... Yes, I did. And there's a moment at the end where he falls face first down the stairs and then lands in the most... It's the best pratfall that scientifically

I don't understand how he did it. I've seen that man fall so many times, and he fully ate it. And it went like, like down every single step and then landed like this on the final one. And I was like, in that moment, I was like, he's going to win.

You know, he's going to win. There's, there's no way there's in bless them. There's no way that the one legged 10 year old and the 12 year old autistic magician are going to beat him at this point. And it is also deeply funny. In this montage I saw, it just cut to the finals

and them telling the one-legged kid to go away. Yeah, sorry, buddy. What did the one-legged kid do? He was dancing. Dancer? Kind of. Dancing and rapping, like dancing and singing a little bit. Yeah, if you're going to dance a little, you've got to have some rapping.

That undercut of kind of. And i didn't mean and i didn't mean it like that it was more like i think it was just like performance was the genre yeah okay it is deeply funny that there are these you know teenagers going against my friend who's a guy who's you know 33 34 year old clown ripping high of his vests off one after another over and over and just like it wasn't even close he destroyed these kids yeah yeah but it's it's just it's i think clowning is especially just that kind of work i have people that people need to watch it but but it's it's like as a stand-up comedian like i'm like well worst case scenario i got these these jokes these firm punch lines and he is going out there and there, and he's doing this thing where he plays the Hi, My Name Is, and he sticks out the mic and gets each judge to say their name, and then it replays, and then he mouths them doing it.

And some of the judges are like – there's one judge who's like he can't shut up. He keeps talking, and he won't really do the game. They ruined it. And there's so many ways that they ruined it and he's gotta like not even fucking show a moment of you fucking asshole. Every single one of them botched it.

All you had to do was just say your name and all of them would go my name is, my name is cheeky, cheeky, cheeky and it was just so cringe. And if this was any other audience we would have stopped the show

and absolutely lit these people on fire. Yeah. And, you know, chucked them out, had fun with it, and then pray that that didn't happen again. And then hopefully someone does it again because we've now established that as, like, a fun thing. But in this one where it's like this is live and your money and your spot in this competition depends on it, you just have to. It's incredible. But as a performer, you're watching it and you're like, God damn it. You fucking.

Who are they? Who are the judges? Simon Cowell, Bruno European Man, whoever the British Nicole Scherzinger is, and someone else. Well, I'm so...

I got a chance finally. It took me way too long to see Stamptown in Austin. And as I was assured by everyone who had gone, I loved it so much. I loved it so much and it made me,

I think it just revitalized a we do a sketch team, we're on a sketch team together. Yes. And Uncle Function. Yes, dude, I've seen you perform at Asylum before. Thanks, man. Yeah, I've seen you too. It was good. He just said I saw you. He literally just said I saw you. I've seen you perform at Asylum before. Thanks, man. Yeah, I've seen you too. He didn't say it was good. He just said, I saw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He literally just said, I saw it.

I've seen you in a building before. Yeah. Yeah, I think I saw you once in life in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, I appreciate it. You said thank you like he said, and you were really good. Yeah. Yeah, and just wait till I tell you my thoughts on that performance.

I can't wait. But it was, I think the one thing that I was so That I felt was so nice to see Is like there was Sex was part of the comedy Like there was a sexuality to the whole thing And I was like oh yeah this is what can be fun About live comedy in a way that feels As a comedian

It's so hard to ever feel like Whoa I cannot believe they did that Because you get so used to it we grew up on south park yeah you know it's very hard to offend me yeah uh or shock or shock yeah but you know what i don't see that often is a guy whipping out his testicles on stage and if it's in the right setting yeah and not in a backstage green room like i'm with you, then it's like, oh, this is so exciting. Everyone feels like, oh my God. And it was just so cool to have that feeling again.

Man, that's really nice to hear. Also, that was my favorite part of your set was when you guys brought me back to the green room after your show and showed me your testicles one by one. Like one by one by one by one. That rocked. It's a staple of our show. It takes forever. We have to write each audience member individually. Oh, everyone gets the of our show. Oh, yeah. It takes forever.

We have to write each audience member individually. Oh, everyone gets the treatment? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry to break that. Yeah, it's fun. I mean, for me, like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know how, like, nerdy to go down the clown hole. Horrific.

Yeah, that's a terrible way to put it. Down the clown hole. We got the title right there. Sometimes it just emerges. That's a nightmare. Down the clown hole. We got the title right there. Sometimes it just emerges. That's a nightmare. Down the clown hole. No. With Zack Zucker.

No, I hate it. Like, you know, to me there's, but clown can be kind of used as like a mirror for a lot of different things. But for me, the training that I got at this clown school in France, our teacher also taught us, we did a big vaudeville unit, which is you know fun fast-paced farce over sexualized

you know like italian grand opera really kind of uh faulty towers like uh john cleese type style stuff and that to me is what i love the most about the show is like it's not a comedy lineup show it is a variety it's like a vaudevillian variety show run by clowns and we usually have some circus acts in there to kind of like you know add to the spectacle of it that's like my ideal version of it and like the south by shows were really fun you know we're obviously working with whatever they've got there but like that hypersexual absurdity like hey everybody loves each other you, I think of my best friend Natalie, Natalie Palmitas, who's an amazing performer. Like, she and I, we've probably touched or licked or bit each other's private parts

more than most other people I've ever had in my life in a personal, romantic way. And it's never, it's always done in a completely, like, with love, non-sexualized way of doing it where it's like, yo, I got your back. Let's just try and get the funniest laugh out there. You picked her up at one point. It looked like by her nipples. And it was just the kind of thing that you can't help but go, oh, my God.

Oh, no, they're going to pop off. I don't even know what happens. Yeah. But that was a wild moment. Yeah. It was awesome. Let me ask. Now, your nudity level,

have you gotten full nude on stage? Oh yeah. My first solo show, I used to finish singing out of my ass, but it was to an R. Kelly song and I had to retire that bit. Let's not talk about that one. Wait, what song?

When a Woman Loves. Uh-huh. Now this was definitely at least after the tapes had leaked. You just mean then he was convicted And that's your line for morality Is when the legal system finally steps in It was more like 2023

2024 is when I stopped He's not just our Kelly He's our Kelly You would Fully naked Face the audience in like talking style? Like, yeah. Okay, wow.

Like Opa talking style. I would really, yeah. Full asshole. Full ass. I've gotten, you know, look, if the show, I've gotten better over the years. I'd say like 2017 and 2018 was the most unwell I was on stage because we were just touring really badly. And that's when I was naked more because I had less material. But then as I've gotten better at, you know,

better at coming up with material, the nudity is now just like when the show needs it. So like, you know, we have this epic whips and fire guy, among many other talents, our buddy Marshall Arkley, who's a fantastic variety performer. And he does like a routine where he like puts like flowers in his mouth and he whips them out of his mouth. And I'll come out on stage and I'll like hold a mouth and he whips them out of his mouth. And I'll come out on stage and I'll hold a flower

and he'll whip it out of my hand. And then I'll pretend to leave and I've got these tearaway pants on and he'll rip my pants off. And then I'm naked and then he takes a flower. And you turn around and sing an R. Kelly song with your asshole. Well, look, R. Kelly, XXXTentacion. They're all kind of the same.

An incredible pull of a reference. XXXTentacion. I know, they're all kind of the same. An incredible pull of a reference. XXXTentacion. I was fighting for my life there. And then he'll put a flower up my ass and then light it on fire and whip it out, you know, just like normal stuff. Yeah. Before you show your asshole on stage,

are you going in a mirror, making sure everything's looking fine? Please, I'm always stage ready. Covered in shit, running down. Please, I'm always stage ready. Covered in shit, running down. So we had one sketch where I got, where this little thong, compared to this,

it's pathetic, it's cowardly. But I had a thing with them where I said, I should do it naked. And I, no one, no one was into it listen no one was into it and i think there's such a mix of me where there's part of me that is like a stand-up comedian that like i do think it's not a degree of cool of being a stand-up but there is a certain degree of like i don't think a lot of stand-up comedians get nude on stage period no because there's a part of me that wants that goes like that's so funny and that's so what's funnier and what's more

vulnerable and exposing. And then the Borat scene. Then the Borat scene where they're wrestling around. And could we do that scene if we needed to for a movie? I mean, I think when it was happening, I could have been swayed

initially, but then I felt like everyone was so against it. Everyone was so against it. Also made me really sad. It made me, it made me go, Oh, are we not? I felt like that's what made me feel artistic.

And, and like, like your text about life where I was like, but also I also in the context of that sketch would other, would it, would it then just be that, you know what I mean? Instead of like, he's, he he he's him and his wife are going to a place where eating sushi off a naked body it's me not a naked

a thong but instead of sushi it's deli meats and it's basically exposed that they're the parents of my ex-fiance so he's like he's learning information about his ex-fiance how well she's doing and then i cry and he takes a shot of vodka out of my belly button. It's the one sketch. I think seeing your show, I'm like, oh, what do we do that makes sense in the clowning world? And it's like, I just love it.

I really did love it. Next time we do it, you pitch getting naked. They don't like it. You should text everyone the next day, hey, this is John Marco's mom. You have to let him show you his dick you have to let him show you it's funny though because our problems are the opposite where i'm backstage fighting with everyone being like guys we have too much nudity tonight like there's nowhere else to go at this point so we gotta like we gotta kind of wrap this shit up because like also this guy marshall fuck it we're gonna get

we're gonna get there. He does an amazing character called Throb, a routine called Throb the Builder where he comes out and he does blockheads so he nails stuff up his nose and takes a drill up his nose.

And he's also known in the sounding community and he takes a drill and drills down his penis. What is what? It's exactly what I mean. Sounding is the act of putting stuff

down your urethra oh he puts a drill in his urethra? puts a drill in his urethra on stage? oh my god

swirls it around yeah yeah yeah I've got pictures on my phone I've got videos oh my god he's remarkable how do people react to that?

I downloaded that off LimeWire when I was a kid and then he blew up how do audiences react? they scream? yeah

it's one of those things where I am unfortunately now so desensitized to it that if I talk about it enough, I'll get the stomach pain that I think you guys are having right now where you feel the phantom pains of something inside of your penis. But to me, it's never an amazing finale just because the mood is so good and we're ready to take it home and that then splits the crowd so hard but for me it's hilarious to watch that happen like it's so funny knowing we don't have to have them react this way but it is hilarious to watch everyone kind of just walk out like i i don't know what I just saw. That's gotta fuck up his penis.

I mean, when he's peeing, is it like... Dude, he's got a monster cock. Like a... Yeah, we all have monster cocks. You put a drill in it, it expands it. That's artificial monster cock. But I just imagine it's loose. It's like a drainage pipe when he pees.

It just kind of... I honestly don't know. We've kept it pretty professional. Is it... degree of like... In a post-MeToo world, is there anything when it comes to clowning where it's like, how in God's name do you navigate

if someone goes oh I don't I don't I wasn't prepared to see a penis with the drill in it like our content warnings when you walk into the show when you get emailed are pretty intense yeah what do they say it's everything you know it's every warning you could think of possibly nudity nudity graphic on nudity you you know, gunshot sound effects, explosion, sound effects, simulated violence, simulated sex, like, you know, possibility of intercourse, like a pyro fire intercourse, ability of cover your bases just in case something crazy happens.

I want to add that to my standup shows. Not that it'll change it at all, but just to get people like, what's going to happen at this thing. And I think, you know, we kind of ride it. Yeah. We ride a line between like, yeah, vaudeville and cabaret and circus where it's like circus is hot circus is fucking sexy and horny and like i want everyone to leave our shows it's obviously something we think about all the time and especially with our crew and like having you know the safety of people like of all genders and all identities being naked on stage in the shows. It's like, well, one, we don't book any perverts yet. We're going to get D'Elia.

And then like... If you got D'Elia, but to do the show, he had to put the drill in his urethra, I think people would be behind that. Well, the thing, I would have said, I'll have Louis on the show, but he has to jack off in front of everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got to come clean. Wow. And if you're willing to face them, he doesn't need to, but it's like if you want to do the show, you got to masturbate in front come clean. Wow. And if you're willing to face them, he doesn't need to, but it's like if you want to do the show, you got to masturbate in front of everybody. Let me tell you what, that's one way to get Russell to Stamptown. So John Marco's going to be doing his Louis impression.

I want to play this one clip that was so funny as I watched it, and I was shocked. I was like, as I watched it, and I was shocked. I was like, oh, that's, and you'll see. Can you play it? This is Hillary Clinton talking to a master clown in France for some show. Oh, yeah. Philippe, what's the difference for a woman in comedy than a man in comedy? Can they do the same thing?

Comedy is okay, but clown is more difficult. Yes. Because if you are a young boy, you come home, your costume is completely dirty. Your mother still loves you.

Yeah. If you are a girl, it's not sure your father still loves you. If you are a girl, it's not sure your father still love you. So for a woman, it's more dangerous to be idiot like for a man. And we can see when you teach, woman wants to be charming clown. But I knew some woman, the monster, fantastic, but not so many.

I think I'm more of a monster. So I think that should rightfully cut to Hillary Clinton watching the guy you just mentioned with a drill inside his penis. And then we should,

because it was, so the last voice, that's Natalie. yeah yeah uh and i i i'd seen that clip before i knew and i just and i've i've never met now i think we're gonna try to get her on the podcast but she's out here she's coming tomorrow she's staying with me for the next yeah we're talking to her but phenomenal just phenomenal and and the idea of her next day hillary clinton is shocking to me. I was almost in that with them.

Oh, my God. Because that's my clown teacher. That's your clown teacher? That's my clown teacher, Philippe Gaultier. So everything that he's saying, I understand because I speak that language. So does Hillary, apparently. Dude. Yes.

Yes. So basically, how I decipher this is they ask is it harder for me for a woman to do it than a man and his whole thing is at school he would say yeah i do think it's harder because we have to acknowledge the differences in ways that people are raised and it doesn't mean that's impossible or that women aren't funny obviously i don't believe that at all he's saying that as boys when you get in trouble everybody loves a bad boy you forgive the bad boys but it's like well if a girl does this it's like hey be proper like it's not ladylike you have to act this certain way so he would say in in school it's like you have to unlearn that part of it and just depending on how much that you learn that that's like the work you

need to do to then go be free and be a monster like the way that the boy can be messy and like that's to me i thought that was like beautiful honesty i think it's beautiful honesty i don't think uh hillary clinton absorbed a word of it no not at all not at all it was so strange that even happened i was gonna do this because like when now i was out there when nat one did this and then i had to like interview with like the i'd like a background check with like the fbi and like secret service and then they eventually just decided to have have only women because they were going to do this clown class that they do. And the whole thing is bizarre. Does Hillary do the class?

Oh, she sure does. She fucking does. And I would have killed to have done clowning with Hillary Clinton. Imagine she gets a drill and just puts it in her snatch. Oh my god. Excuse me, ma'am. You're stealing my friend's routine. I would have called her out for plagiarizing. This is the worst thing you've ever done, Hillary Clinton.

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out run your way at newbalance.com slash running um so so tell me a little bit about and so let me give the purely cynical view of all arts schools as someone who who had a guru like ish acting teachers when i was like really into acting and and by the way, we would also have exercises where people got naked, because you learn how to change on stage, be private and public. And then ultimately a lot of these people, you see there were some nuggets of beauty and truth, and then other elements that you could map

on top of any Netflix documentary about cults. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is, what's the clown universe like in terms of like, are there like just these master gurus? Why is it in French? Why is it in France? This guy just, so to me, Philippe,

he runs the school, Philippe Golier. I think he's the funniest man in the world. And his wife, Michiko, Michiko Miyazaki Golier, I think she's the funniest woman in the world. And wife, Michiko Miyazaki-Gaulier, I think she's the funniest woman in the world. And to me, there's a lot of talk over the years. He teaches through a via negativa approach, which is like if you go on stage and you're not funny, rather than saying that verbatim, it's all a game.

He'll go, but this guy is funny. I want to get married with this guy. Oh, the Germans come. Chak, chak, chak. I give him to the Nazis to shoot. And it's like a thing where you're like, oh, my acknowledge that this is bad because the nazis are bad and i understand these things are bad so it's more of a fun game for the need to go like no you can't you can't get me away like that and you get to fight back and play if you want it but there's obviously a lot of psychopaths

and especially there's like a lot of sycophants that like find any art form like improv or sketch and specifically clown where i feel they they make that their therapy and art form like improv or sketch and a specifically clown where I feel they they make that their therapy and it's like clowning I think is a beautiful outlook on life for me I apply it and that like it to me it's like the study of teaching how to be good at being bad so if you can make the bad good then it's always good and you know how to deal with the bad and it's more of like it's information versus like it's suppressing you. And I feel like a lot of people go to him like this. And he would consistently say, I'm not a guru. I'm not a master.

I'm a guy who says no when he doesn't like something. If you don't like that, that's cool. But if you're going to be in my school, this is just how I do it. He gives people his money back at any time. You don't have to go on stage ever if you don't want to. And I reject the narrative with this. As someone who sipped that kool-aid hard i did the two years and i love it and i've sent you know hundreds of people to the

school for no benefit at all like i don't get a kickback or anything from this i'm just like hey if i think you can benefit from this training like you should go and do this because he does teach you how to give no fucks at all and to play from your gut and to play from uh to me an unselfish creative art like i guess point of view where it's like you're of service of the clown like to me i see it as like that's like this is the art form it's not like cool it's not like stand-up where you're like you see some people who are like trying to always be like i'm so chill i'm like bothered to be here or like improv guy in the back line who's like, yeah, watch this.

Doesn't even fucking tag you out, just pushes everyone off. And he's like, yeah, grandpa, it's weird you're sucking my dick. And then edits his own scene. Which is an epic move, by the way. And I will do that time and time again. Isn't there also a degree where, I mean, stand-up is a real American-born art form,

where clowning does not feel, I mean, hence the fact that this guy – I mean – He's French. Yeah. So he's French, and he taught in the UK. And funny enough, he was removed from the UK. He was kicked out and not allowed to teach under their education because an American woman 30 years ago, when he asked him the question, do you think it's harder for women than men, he said yes. She called him sexist. And then he was like, all all right i don't give a shit about this i'll just go back to france and he's thank god that's where it went we i mean i felt yeah an american woman i said oh here we go yeah here it goes yeah yeah here we go they're like oh just sexist that's

fine yeah yeah but it was it was like to me it's like everyone who's mad at him because i mean again he says something are people mad at him yeah people not like, it's like everyone who's mad at him, because, I mean, again, he says something. Are people mad at him? Yeah, people. Not like actually. It's more people who are there where they're like, oh, this thing sucked or this was this type of way. And I was like, no, I think you just weren't funny.

Sure. Like, you just weren't funny at school, and you took it personally, but it's not personal because the same jokes he makes about you is the same jokes he makes about everybody else. And this kind of goes into, uh, uh, a rant or a position later that I'll chat about. Cause this,

this directly influenced this where it's like, he taught me that like you can and should make fun of everybody. I think is when you start coddling people or babying people. Sure. You stop making fun of folks. That's when there's actually problems. But like you do it from a place of love. It's like you make fun with,

you make fun of, I'm not like the, the bastards you can mock and you can step on the shitty people in the world but just because someone is from somewhere else does not inherently mean they are shitty yeah i think what's whether because again i don't know much as much about clowning but i think i know about with improv and i know with stand-up recently, is the health of an art form, part of it is either making fun of being mean or you could say it, bullying, where you keep, you gotta be good or you gotta be invested

or you have to be of worth to be witnessed to stay in it. And I think, at least with stand-up, and this is why people get so, I think, bothered by social media and crowd work in particular, is because it allows people who aren't good and shouldn't be taking up the airtime and shouldn't be known as the stand-up comedians to become the face of the platform. Agreed. loving improv, which feels closer to clowning, I think, than stand-up does in certain respects. It feels like it's more, yes and is not just a tactic in the game.

It is a support, you gotta be supportive. And that support led to a bunch of 101 shows that everyone was forced to go to and ultimately going, improv fucking sucks. And I could see clowning being similar in that way. Well, look, not how he teaches it, but a lot of phonies who then teach it around do. This over-supporting thing to me, that's the death of creativity.

You have to, to me, I go into every interaction in my life with what I assume everyone else has, and that's base level, 100% respect and love. I'm happy you're here i support you i accept you for whoever you are that's never a question but when we're talking about the art you have to separate the performer and the person and a bunch of uh kind of maybe it doesn't do anybody any good i think the worst betrayal you could do is encourage someone artistically in the right direction because it's uncomfortable for you to say hey that's actually not working now it's not

my place. Like, let's say I came and watched an Uncle Function show, and I don't like something. I'm not your director. I'm not your guys' producer. You've not asked me my opinion, so I don't need to say that stuff. But if you came to me and you're like,

hey, what do you actually think? If you're actually asking me that, then I feel like we owe it to each other to be honest about this thing. And again, my favorite part was when you guys showed me your nuts one by one by one by one. But I think what's so challenging with clowning is like I could see watching if I'm in a class

and there's no energy in the room. So much of clowning to me feels like a real conducting the energy, riding the wave. I could see seeing Vigo's first America's Got Talent where essentially he's wearing like a cross guard, shiny thing over his vest. And he just continually has more and more underneath. And it seems like there's no more. And then it comes back and it's, it's,

you know, it's just, I could see seeing that in a cold room and at a different time in my life, if the teacher goes class, any notes, I could be like, yeah, I just,

at a certain point, it's like, it's just another one and another one and like clowning feels hard to judge or to know at all yeah it's just it's it's very hard whereas stand-up feels you really have and i think that's why i'm more drawn to stand-up is because i i need more sure i I need more guidance personally as an artist. I tell people sometimes, I don't even know that I love stand-up

the most. It's that the feedback loop of stand-up is what I click into the most. That's a great way to put it because I feel like I put into I click into most of the comedic rhythms of a room through clowning. And I wish I had more jokes that I could deploy.

I was going to say my one note about Stamptown was I wish you had more jokes. Hey, can we talk for a second? No, it's funny because I, like so much of our stuff is, where we run the risk is I think we're extremely charming in a room. I feel most comfortable in front of a crowd of people. And if come into our domain or our zone it's like well we're gonna have an awesome time no matter who's in the crowd but sometimes with uh with that or this freedom in this are you know the thing that we're looking out for is like are we just scattering with no substance and sometimes it's fun and like i will push and ride every moment all the time

but that's hopefully from the years of bombing a bajillion times and you know uh having good collaborators and honest collaborators around me is that you learn to know like okay this is worth exploring this is not worth exploring okay let's actually pull this back we need to chop this shit down like you know that show in particular i think it runs like we're like running an offense or a defense you know it's like we're like a sports team and we got a playbook and it's like we're back being like okay when this thing falls from the ceiling you're gonna pop out when you pop out that's the sound cue for this person over here and then we come around we get this big joke we kill this tension we bring on the next act and it's like that's like the play that's drawn up now does it

get there every time almost never but then you got a bunch of people you can like call audibles with and like be in the moment with and figure it out and improvise and, you know, trust in those moments. Um, but it's fun. It's a fucking hard art form. And I think a lot of people have like, they've made it their identity and I don't, I don't align with, nor do I, uh, it's harsh language, but it's because I fucking love this thing so much. And I feel like, like you said, I've, I've suffered so hard for years making this. And I'm not entitled to anything at all. No one is in this art form.

I think clown is a lot like shrooms when you try and talk about that experience and you get tongue-tied. It's like it's a lot of contradictions that are all right but also not necessarily explicitly correct based on like what form of, you know, the development or the process you are is. on like what form of you know the development or the process you are is um and like even now i'm like you know i want to continue off this thing but i'm like ah maybe i maybe that's just it yeah that's just it in this moment you know have you had any oh go ahead oh i was like would your dream be to like have stamp town be like a residency somewhere like or like where you can change it every so often let it die in vegas you know like just fucking rot like what would your ultimate like dream be for that for your kind of the show that you've with this one in particular i would love to do a longer new york run at some point and bring like a proper variety show to broadway or whatever if it's not broadway but just like yeah or long running show

but some part of it there's some part and i think about this with stand-up too i did my first like show in like a 1200 seat house it wasn't me headlining but there's some part, and I think about this with stand-up too. I did my first show in a 1,200-seat house. It wasn't me headlining. But there's that feeling of like, this isn't ideal for the form. I don't need it to be that big either. I wanted to feel like the modern-day traveling circus, which is where I think we are in a smaller way already.

And I would like to still keep moving around. I would love to go to all the places that we do. I would like to, keep moving around. I would love to go to all the places that we do. I would like to, more than playing bigger numbers, and we're doing well with rooms and room sizes right now, but what I would prefer is to have the venue be equipped with what we want. I want people falling from the ceiling and ejected from the floors and zip lining in and fire and circus. I just need it to have the capabilities that we need.

It doesn't need to be massive. You have any injuries yet? Anyone get hurt? just need it to have the capabilities that we need it doesn't need to be like massive but you have any any injuries yet anyone get hurt um i mean i in my life have had you know i've had two shoulder surgeries i've got torn ligaments in both my arms performing or yeah i've got a fucked up knee dude like you know i've busted my toes and my fingers like but you know i nothing like nothing directly i've you know when marshall's done his you know, I got whipped in the ass and whipped in the dick once. I once dropped a mic stand on my foot. That was about it.

Have you gotten hurt yet on stage? I fell down the stairs at a tech rehearsal for Gutenberg the Musical on Broadway, and I was not even on stage. I hurt my knee, but I'm okay. And I'm glad you're here. Yeah, thank you. Oh, man. Yeah. I wasn't near that. I hurt my knee, but I'm okay. And I'm glad you're here. Yeah, thank you. Oh, man.

Yeah. I wasn't near that. I was in the balcony. Any, because I've heard, you know, I always hear someone's like, oh, my God, this thing happened at, the reason I kept hearing about Stamptown, I was like, oh, my God. That's what we want. And then she sang The Little Mermaid with Her Pussy or something like that. Yeah, yeah. I heard that.

Yes, she did. Were there any either Stamptown or earlier where you did something where you lost the audience so hard or you were like, this was, this didn't work? Because that's a fine line of like what's gross, what's just, what's vulgar. Yeah. And what's art. I push hard on that. I think the American clown scene is vulgar. Really? Yeah.

Where's the American clown scene? Mostly in Lausanne. Mostly there's a clown scene in LA. I don't fully know the clown scene in New York so much. But the LA clown scene, I think there's like three to five actual talented performers. And I think the rest, bless them,

and they could get there are not there yet and there's a lot of different ways yeah well look LA State it's the same thing yeah of course

and I don't even think it's their fault I think it's like dude when you only perform to other comedians or industry it's impossible to know what is actually funny

because you're never performing to a straight up audience and you're not going to take that many risks if the executive from Fox is there and there's always one of them there every fucking show.

You can't take the risk, even though they'll come and take your free tickets to your shows. I love the executives from Fox just imagining them going, I've got to go to a clown show tonight. There's something really funny. I love them trying to build a sitcom around the drill and the urethra.

It's a workplace comedy. Well, you know, it is. He's a handyman. It slips one day. he finds a new talent he goes oh my god he goes up his ass instead who do you think's bitchier stand up comedians or clowns

do you know a lot about stand up like were you ever did you ever yeah you know I've hung you know I did the comedy the booker at the comedy store Emily is fantastic and I love her so much

and I am so thankful and I am every time she asks me to do it, I'm like, are you sure? Like you sure? Cause every time I've gone there, it's not gone well. And the last time that I did Tucker, which was the first time I did Tucker a few months ago, uh, I was escorted out by security before I went on. Cause they thought I was a homeless guy who snuck in and they didn't believe me. And to be fair, I was missing a shoe. My shirt's tucked in my underwear. I'm soaking wet. And I was what I call softening my apples,

where I bashed my apples against the wall to make them softer so that when I hit them and explode them, they go bigger. But I didn't want to do it in the green room because then everyone could hear me just going like. So I was like, well, let me go outside and be respectful. But I'd never been there, so I guess I wandered into an area where I thought performers were allowed. And then I was dragged out by security.

And then, you know, there was this whole thing, and I was about to go on. I'm like, guys, you know, my pockets are full of condoms and rubber chickens. I promise. They thought it was a whole ruse. Thought it was a whole ruse. There's no way to quickly explain it either. You're like, no, no, I'm softening my apples. Yeah.

Like there's no, that is so funny. Which is a crazy thing to say as well. But I'm like, oh, that's just what I'm doing. You know, I do this all the time. And then I went up there and then bombed the hardest I've ever bombed. Which room? Belly room. The belly room.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Belly room. It's horrible. It can be tough. Ugh, dude, it's a brutal room. And like Natalie, same Nat, best friend, she was there to support me that night because I was trying to film a late night set, which obviously we did not get.

Did you do the sounds? Oh, yeah. So you did the sounds? Everything. But we, you know, 20 seconds in, a guy was standing in front of our film. So the tape was immediately ruined. And on top of that, no one was laughing at all.

And then eventually Natalie came on stage. I pretended she was a plant from the crowd. We did our bit where we kind of made out, and I picked her up by her nipples and then she stuck her fingers down my throat and she had touched like something disgusting on the table and I vomited on the stage oh my god that's why that room smells like that and then I picked it up and I put it in my pocket oh and I went scoot it was solid yeah well it was liquid but you know I didn't get all of it, obviously. But I'm like, I don't want to be rude to the venue.

I did just throw up on their stage. Did you do it like a bit? Did it have a sound effect like boing, oing, oing? It was just me going, I'm so sorry, guys. And I left pretending to be like, I walked off in silence and I pretended to pick up a phone. I was like, Ma, I did it. It was amazing.

Everybody was cracking up tonight. And usually that saves me. No one laughed at that either. So I'm then sitting in the green room with a pocket full of throw up having to do it supposed to do another show again in five minutes to do the night the next hour show and i'm like you guys don't want me here like i should not be doing this right now i shouldn't be here and that's maybe my last performance i'll ever do no i i think i first of all the comics must have loved it um if i was on a show unless everyone tell their fucking jokes.

And someone threw up on stage. Someone threw up. Come on now. It'd be the biggest night of the year. I think a lot of them are, I had done also years ago, the Lyric Hyperion back when that was still the place in LA in 2018, 2019. And I did an early version of Jack Tucker out there. And I went and did my weather joke, or my airplane joke.

Just so everyone knows, so Jack Tucker, can you just describe for people who haven't seen it? Jack Tucker's a character I play. My name's Zach Zucker. The character's called Jack Tucker. It's the world's worst stand-up comedian, but it's just me having fun.

It's got hints of someone who was inspired by Dangerfield. It's got an old school... I think the first time I saw was you were doing SNL Showcase did you get it? can we talk offline for a second?

both secretly working for SNL go on air I'm Keenan dude I'm piloting the Keenan bond I'm Keenan dude I screen tested this year. Yeah. I didn't get it again.

Was that real that Brightanic played your screen test at one of your Sandpile shows? Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I asked them to help me with my tape that year, and so I always fuck with those boys. They're two of my best friends. We produce them. I love them.

And every time they come on the show, we cut them off so they never get a chance to really go. And it's great, and bless it. They both really to really go Yeah, and it's great and bless it They both really want to do it But it's so much funnier when they don't get to go and then Nick unbeknownst to me had sense like stems of my Tape that I'd sent him for actual notes on and then cut the ones he took the ones that he had told me to cut So these are the worst ones me doing like Colin Farrell as a drag race can judge like are the worst ones.

It's me doing like Colin Farrell as a drag race judge. Like Boris Johnson coaching the Knicks. Like it was really horrible stuff and he was just playing them throughout the show

and then they became part of the canon for the rest of the night. So like I started my Boris Johnson I think it was like order in the court, order in the court

and so you just kept hearing that throughout the rest of the show. Oh man. So funny. Brutal dude. It was brutal. You know who's

SNL audition tape I got somewhere? Who? Yours. No, you would never. Look, I'll tell you, it's pretty funny. It's pretty funny to do it. When you, because I know that you played baseball,

and you were good. Allegedly. You had a scholarship to Harvard? I got a letter of interest to play at Harvard, and I just never followed up on it. And how'd your family feel? Not very happy. You know, I was like golden grandson, like Jewish immigrants. Everyone was like really excited for me to go to college. And I was like, I got the acting bug. I'm gonna move to LA. Never acted in my life. I quit my senior year as the captain to go move to Los Angeles and do like improv. And I was street

performing on the Santa Monica promenade as guitar man, guitar guy playing music. Like, dude, I, I put them through it to be fair. And then, you know, at 19 was like, I'm actually going to go to French clown school. Wow. Yeah. So, you know, it was, it was a dark high school or you know, he graduated high school. I'm three credits short of finishing my freshman year of college. I dropped out of Santa Monica college three separate times. I think that's so great. I'm three credits short of finishing my freshman year of college. I dropped out of Santa Monica College three separate times. I think that's so great. I wish I had dropped out of college. Dude, it was the best thing that I ever did, you know? It's just incredible

to go at that age to decide to go to France. I just bought into the system way too hard to make that kind of decision. If you're going to go to clown school, 19 is when you should be. I was the youngest one there too that's the right age

you go there that's an interesting group of 19 year olds 150 year olds who said they made a big right turn in their life the demographic the age range at school was when I went I was 20 it was like 20 to I think 65 I was the youngest by like 4 or 5 years and then the next year my comedy partners

ended up being the ones that were younger than me which was bastards they took my shine I went to Circle in the Square for like an acting school thing and it was like young actors and then some people in their 50s or 60s and a lot of the class would be like

you'd share your trauma or whatever and so some of these kids would be like then he moved to college and we tried long distance and then he broke up with me and then a 60 year old would get up there and they'd be like well my dad fucking murdered three people and i lost a kid this morning and it was just the you it was it was good in the sense that you're like yeah you should be shaking up the ages as soon as you can as an artist yeah you know to be like oh wow the world is complex. I hadn't learned anything about the world until I moved out there, you know,

and I was like, it's a school, the school that I went to, it's 75 of the weirdest people from 40 to 45 different countries, and they're all perfect and beautiful, and it allows you to, like, accept and understand and learn, actually, I believe, about all these different cultures in a way that's, like, it's completely, like, it's completely objective, and you just get the best of everybody, you know? Like, it's awesome.

And that, to me, was, like, my first real wake-up call to being in the real world. I loved it. It changed my life. If my life collapsed, I have a fantasy where it's, like, my life, I don't have the fantasy. Your fantasy to go down if i had to collapse i'd be like i'm going to clown school why not i think that's beautiful i think you would love it tough to take two years off right now well it's only one year now he only teaches one year now because he's getting older

unfortunately but i think he's 80 now what's the schedule like does he ever do master classes uh he does he does like he does like two one to two to three week intensions over the summer wow because dude it's just great i mean look it's great for anybody who's a performer and or a creator in any way whether you're a musician whether you're a director whether you know you're an animator it's like a stand-up it's it's all just a lot of it's just like performance dynamics that's like when i teach i teach a lot of like clown fundamentals and performance dynamics like are you looking at the ground because if you literally just look here you're there's you've already upped your chances by 60 of getting a laugh you know don't quote the math on that but you know holy shit yeah

like it's about all my jokes that haven't been working i'm like yeah dude are you looking at the ground because he'll be every joke i'm all the way up here i'm like 100 kill rate right now yeah it's crushing right here. Got a fan right there. But yeah, it's so much is just like looking and being present and just finding ways to like restart that rhythm and get them back on your rhythms. I heard this. It was a podcast. It was just you talking, but it was about a story of a show you did here in New York where an old counselor or something. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Would you mind sharing that story with us? Yeah, the abridged version of it was

this is me and Viggo. This is our first time we ever performed in New York. You met Viggo at the clown school? Met him at clown school. And Viggo, he's Norwegian. Viggo's Norwegian, funniest man in Britain. Here's a Norwegian stand-up comedian. Daniel Simonson.

He's another good friend of ours. Daniel went to Goliad as well. Oh, yeah? He's a deep... Wait, he went to Goliad as well oh yeah he's a wait he went to oh yeah the clown school he sure did

wow no way oh yeah dude no way oh yeah that explains a lot yeah he's never

ever ever mentioned that he doesn't talk about it except when he does Stamptown it's really when I went to clown school years ago really crazy

you know and like he'll give us a little bit of it by the way he won't do podcasts or he won't do this one but I have pushed past the line of requesting and borderline harassed him to do the podcast because I'm like it'd be so

interesting but he he's a shy babe he's a really shy guy that's really good look you spent I spent a lot of time around Norwegian it's very stressful

I mean Daniel gets to walk up stage and he just gets his first laugh hello yeah like I'm like well I killed René

I made a lot of fun to be here oh he crushed killed yeah oh I had no idea that's Vigo's the same thing and we also have another friend Stefan

he plays a vampire in our shows and he's like oh hello I'm just is it time for my number in our shows. And he's like, oh, hello. I'm just, is it time for my number? And I was like, what? He's like, I would just love to come on stage and be a little bit spooky. I'm like, what?

He's like, yeah, I just want to be a little spooky. And then someone laughs and goes, shut up. Is there something about being Norwegian that leads them to clowning about their culture? I think they just have a very silly vocal inflection. They have a beautiful rhythm. So they get laughs early on. They're like, it's a beautiful new way to speak and stuff.

You know, you just, you laugh. If I could do that accent, I'd never speak without it again. I, again, I,

I speak, I speak with it probably 20 to 30% of my days. It's a cheat code, you know? I think we have you back. You be Daniel Simonson the whole time. And I say, Hey,

we got you anyway. Sorry, buddy. Thank you for having me think we have you back. You beat Daniel Simonson the whole time. And I say, hey, we got you anyway. Sorry, buddy. Thank you for having me here. Okay, so you partnered up with this guy. So I met Vigo. And Vigo was the funniest guy at school. He did not want to work with me. When I actually had asked him first to work with me,

he pretended he didn't hear me twice and just kept going. And it was like, oh, Sammy, what would be this thing right here? And then the day the Edinburgh Fringe registration happened, we were the only two. Both all of our people bailed on us. We were the two guys left. So we were like, well, I guess we'll call it Zack and Vigo. We went one, two, three.

I said Thunder. He said Flop. And so Zack and Vigo, Thunder, Flop was born. We did the Edinburgh Fringe in 2015. Him and Johnny, our director, they were the year below me. So they didn't know the year of Goliath. But I'd convinced them to come out early New Year 2016, and we did our first shows in LA and New York

as a way to prep for the first year of UK and European touring. We were doing that next year, or later that summer. And we came to New York. I went to a summer camp out here. Mostly Jewish people in my life were all, I'm going to be a doctor, a lawyer, a businessman, and go to school and like you know they're all from Long Island they're all from like

areas of Chicago where I grew up and like all of them knew me as an athlete so it was my first time like seeing anybody in like three to five years after I had my weird acting thing which was also like me being bi they're like yeah he turned all weird now and it was all this shit like and I was also like yeah I was like bi at camp I was like I'm half weird

I'm half weird and that's the straight part of me And it was all this shit. And I was also like, yo, I was like by at camp. You're like, I'm half weird. I'm half weird. And that's the straight part of me. They were uncomfortable with it. But then like, you know, then so I had this homecoming show at the Pit Loft, funny enough, January 2016. We're going back there soon. Oh, my God. We're going back to the Pit Loft. And he didn't want to do it.

He said we're going way too backwards to go back to the pit loft there's just something psychological but it's fine look i'm right there with you yeah i'm right there with you yeah and and we went on and the show was sold out which is amazing it was all my family and my friends my family seeing it for the first time no one's ever seen me on stage before and the show was sold out and so they added extra chairs to the front and my camp counselor who was a family friend sat in the front, and my camp counselor, who was a family friend, sat in the front row, and she was hammered. Like, so drunk. She must have been on some Benzos and some other shit, too, because it was mixed in a way where I'm like,

this is not... You're just drunk. You're not just drunk right now. And she, in the middle of the show, was heckling us. She at one point went, yeah, that's what you get for scorning all those girls with that dirty dick. In front of my grandmother. Oh, no. In front of my grandmother.

Oh, no. In front of my grandmother, who we don't say the word shut up in front of. You know what I mean? It must have ruined your asshole R. Kelly pit completely. Had to cut the whole thing. I did it with my underwear on. We did it through CGI.

But then she stood up. I love how you're like, my grandma's here. I have a whole little bit where my ass says, hi grandma. She, she came to a show this year,

which I'll tell you about later, but like, then this girl threw a roundhouse kick at Vigo in the middle of the show and went, I don't even know what's going on. And then started making out with her boyfriend

who was this really short Irish guy. And then, I know the whole pit staff's just standing like, yeah, of course, they didn't do a damn thing obviously we didn't do anything not in the room they were like they were like we thought yeah first off not in the room second like oh we thought it was part of the show did you yeah and like at the time we had our first reviewer in which was like

theater.blogspot.newyork.us.com.nyucritic that's still our leading quote on the website and then we had an assistant from WME who was so brand new to somebody, like a junior assistant, a junior agent's assistant of some shit. They haven't given me an email yet. Truly, truly. But I'm in the mail room. And let me tell you, I'm moving stuff. And so for me, that was a huge deal.

And so the show is going poorly. They're not hating it, but they're not liking it. And everyone's like, oh, interesting choice, Zach. He's really doing that gay theater shit is the vibe I got from them yeah that's what I was feeling yeah the crowd and let me tell you didn't feel good and so as soon as the show was over I immediately start crying backstage through all my props and stuff how many

comedians have been crying oh yeah it's hard for me to be back there still. And of course, I'm crying and sad. Johnny, our director, he's Canadian, he's with me and we're like hype. We were inseparable at the time so he's like,

man, fuck this place, fuck these people. Viggo, Norwegian. Fuck your grandma. Fuck your grandma. Fuck your grandma for being here. She wasn't letting you show your asshole.

What the hell? She wiped that ass. She should be able to look at it. And then, so he's with me. Viggo, obviously being Norwegian, does not want any confrontation.

He's cleaning up silently, just packing everything up behind us. This camp counselor comes backstage. Oh, fuck. And she's like, you were amazing. And like falling over. And I was like, Britt, you need to leave right now. You need to go home.

And this, like basically a kind of like a Pistons-Pacers fight and kind of brawl ensues where, like, the boyfriend comes backstage and starts pushing my director and he's like, hey, you have to tell her she didn't ruin your show. She's really sad about that. I'm like, well, he fucking did, so get out of here. Oh, that's incredible.

My grandma is trying to get backstage and my buddy Stefan, the vampire, is like, no, don't, it's not really time yet, it's just getting changed, you know, I don't wanna come back here. So he's holding her from the right side, they're coming in through the left, you guys know this. Yeah, we know this.

My buddy then, Cole Stern, Cole was like American everyman, everyone loved this guy, he could dunk in sixth grade, you know, he like fingered when we were like nine, you know what I mean? He went to prom all four years, that's what I'm saying. Wow, he's getting there. Played football at Penn, Cole comes backstage, You know what I mean? He went to prom all four years. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Wow. He's getting it.

Played football at Penn. Cole comes backstage. And as soon as he comes backstage, the Irish boyfriend and this girl leave. And they eventually, you know, left and, like, then followed us to the place we were staying. And then eventually, like, also in the middle of this, Brandon, my best friend, Brandon Black, who's an amazing actor, he comes back and he's like, Z, this is this is the WME assistant and I'm like thank you so much for coming oh my god they eventually sent us all these messages that we would then later read as a poem that we have as a poem that we read to each other whenever we're feeling upset or whenever we're like upset with each other because she would she had so many typos in there and one of them was honra dit lab which was supposed to be honestly,

and she went, you know me well enough to know my ego has nothing to do with it. And that's a phrase that we use whenever we're talking about salaries or pay cuts or budgets to remind ourselves, hey, it's not me versus you, it's us versus this problem. So it's like, hey, man, look, I want to pay you more than I could because you know me well enough to know my ego has nothing to do with it. It brings us back down to be like

yo we are the same fucking idiots who are all here together and that's what we got from that crazy she went fucking dad

sad that's another good one we have in there so your grandma has seen you since she has she's never I never let them come

see the naked out of my asshole show they were all forbidden to see that but she did see Stamptown this year has seen you since? She has. She's never saw, I never let them come see the Naked Out of My Asshole show. Yeah. They were all forbidden to see that. But she did see Stamptown this year and we worked with

this amazing performer, Gigi Holliday. She's one of the top 10 burlesque performers in the world. And she has massive boobs and she was smacking me in the face with her boobs

after her routine, after I had already announced this to everybody and I didn't, it wasn't planned but I'm like, well I gotta do it. The show calls

what the show calls. And my dad and his brother who are both so fucking lame they'm like well I gotta do the show calls what the show calls and my dad and his brother who are both so fucking lame they were like don't do any nudity in front of grandma she's gonna get so upset all this type of stuff

you'd probably be so happy that you're straight for a second exactly yeah exactly cause they don't they always ask

she always goes what's up with the earrings and I'm like well what you know I just have them I'm like she's on to me girls

I don't think they know what the term bisexual means and honestly I think I'm okay with she's on to me, girls. I don't think they know what the term bisexual means. And honestly, I think I'm okay with that. But I went up to her afterwards and I was like, hey, did you like it? And she's like, I loved it. She really loved the show. And I was like, I'm sorry about the breasts to the face. Notice I code switched and said breasts.

Not honking huge niggas. Grandma. And she went, hey, you got gotta do what the show needs you to do and I looked at my dad and his brother and I'm like really this is what you were worried about you guys are so uncomfortable about this but she understands and she starts talking to me about all these old comedians or talk shows

she used to watch in the 70's and 80's and 60's and it reminds me of this and it was so sweet and complimentary that's the thing with old people some are sensitive but some it's like, listen, they've seen more of life than you can imagine. And there's a lot of stuff we don't agree on. For sure.

And other things they don't like about me. I was hoping you were going to do the full thing in the show. I would, but I didn't know whose this was, so I was just being respectful. That's a lovely end. Just that they can see it now. They see it. I'm doing this run.

This will be over by then, but maybe other dates will be announced by then. I've been doing this show, Jack Tucker Off-Broadway. I've been jacking off-Broadway for the last seven weeks. They, unfortunately, are not able to travel here right now because they're just not well enough to get on a plane. But every time my cousins or my aunts and uncles

have come to the show, they FaceTimed in and watched the show on FaceTime. Now, how much are they getting or hearing? Virtually zero. But they're loving it. And I can hear them through the phone being like, I can't hear him. I can't hear Zachary.

Can you put it in? And I'm like, guys, they can watch, but you've got to mute them. You can't have your volume up and have them commenting from the crowd. But they really appreciate it now. And the journey we've gone on in the last 12 years of them resenting it to really supporting it

has been really cool. Amazing. That's amazing. Yeah. Let's go on to our next segment, This Has Got to Stop. This Has Got to Stop. This Has Got to Stop. It's where we talk about Let's go on to our next segment, This Has Gotta Stop. This Has Gotta Stop. This Has Gotta Stop.

It's where we talk about things that need to come to an end. Big, small, societal, personal. Give it this gotta stop. Well, I guess one, okay. We can go first too. Yeah, go first. You go first.

You go first. I don't have one today. What the fuck? That's not. Okay. We go through this. We go through this. Sometimes we have them. Sometimes we don't have one today. What the fuck? That's not... Okay. We go through this. We go through this. Sometimes we have them.

Sometimes we don't have them. It's not... No, we always have them. No. We always have them. Sometimes I have one prepared and then we don't do it. And so I don't have one today.

Mine's... Yours can be more fun. This is more trivial. When they have the phone machine you're calling for Bank of America or whatever there's a problem and they do the voice detection so it's like if you would like to speak with a

did you say there's a feeling of wanting to murder you just say human over and over again put me with a fucking human human I truly I'm so curious to know say human over and over again. Yeah, I go, put me with a fucking human. I say human, human, human.

Human. I'm so curious to know, because I feel like if you were able to get, and they say they're recorded, so it must exist. If you were able to hear the way that I speak to that computer, it would make me so unlikable to hear me talk in the tone that I do

and the way that I say human so aggressively that if you heard that, you'd go, oh, I don't want to know this guy anymore. Something's wrong. Do you know where I feel I make up with that, though? Yeah. Is I answer every telemarketer, and I very politely say, no, thank you, not today.

Really? Thank you for calling, and then I hang up. Because I used to get angry at that, and it's like, that's not their fault, dude. Their job sucks, and they're getting yelled at constantly by everybody, and they're getting yelled at constantly by everybody and they're just doing their job. But this is a fucking robot. Sure.

So fuck you. Let me take it out on you. And then I'll be nice to the person I'm talking with unless they're being unreasonable. Do you get calls often though for telemarketers? I feel like it's always like when I answer, it's like there's a pause and I hang up immediately. You hear that? I think it's like a Skype sound but you're like boop. Yeah. And you're like, this is not right. I think someone There's like, I think it's like a Skype sound, but you're like, yeah.

And you're like, this is, this is, I think someone must've like, I either must've signed up for the wrong website or someone has signed my phone up for something. Cause I've been getting a lot more of those lately. I've been getting a lot of texts from Democrats. Yeah. I mean, Trump. I mean, uh, yeah. Uh, yeah. I've been getting, there's, there's some kind of scam.

I gotta go. There's some new form of scam where they write you and they're like, to be on a podcast. Oh. Like a business. And you're like, absolutely. Well, the first time you see it, the first time you see it, and they're like, we'll pay you $3,000.

Yeah. And it's always $3,000 is the number. Yeah, and the manager of the guy is a really funny name. It's like something, something management, but there's alliteration in it and we now just we play with them

and we try and engage in it as much as we can are they only sending it to comics like is it a comic scam or is it like one day you'll get there

buddy yeah I know I'm like I'm very offended that I'm not getting this scam well I got usually it's like

some like business inspiration but I got one recently that said for your mama's house which is Tom Segura's podcast, that I could, in theory, be on someday. And I saw that in the subject, and I had

just the briefest half a second of Is it email? Yeah. And then you see that when they go hello, and then your name is huge. And you're like, okay, yeah, it's not real. And then you check their email, and it's like 4587WPR at podcast.

At PayPal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to discuss that? No, I told you no. Okay, then I got a second one for you. Sometimes there's certain containers where they don't have the zip. It's not a, what is it, zip tie where you push it? It's the sticky clothes.

It's like for bags of almonds or like flosses. And when it comes loose and it spills in your bag, I'm convinced they do that on purpose. Really? Why? I'm convinced they do that on purpose. Do you buy more? I have a thing of like floss. You don't want that loose because then it's dirty.

You're putting it in between your teeth. You get an infection. And it's always the push. What do you call it? What do you call it when you close a bag? Like a zip lock. Zip lock. Zip lock.

And it's a shitty zip lock. And I'm convinced. Wait, but you just have loose you close a bag? Like a... Ziploc. Ziploc. And it's a shitty Ziploc. And I'm convinced. Wait, but you just have loose floss in a Ziploc? No, it's the thing that you hold and you floss. Yeah, but aren't those like you use once and throw away? Yeah, but you have the whole bag of them and I keep them in my... Oh, I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see.

I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. bag and i go i got a whole bag yeah they always fall in my bag though they always spills my bag i didn't bring my bag today because it's more loose floss than it is anything else oh my god you know you know they said if we make it if we made a little loose it falls out they go

you throw it all away you buy a new one a new one yeah i'm convinced i'm convinced oh i hate that it's on purpose i love that wow I feel that's something that's so uniquely specific to my life that I was certain no one else ever experienced. Well, we need to rally. And this is why

stand-up's nice because now I feel related to. Yeah, yeah. I feel related to. Instead of like, look at me drill my balls. Floss my urethra

and put this in my asshole. I write society on my cock while I do it. Do you have this This Gotta Stop? Okay, I guess I have more like, I have more like maybe rants, not rants, but more opinions.

One of them was, This Gotta Stop is, everyone thinking they're a political activist and a reporter all the time. I don't, I'm not gonna go to you for this stuff. I'm gonna go to go to you for this stuff. I'm going to go to trusted sources and, and, and listen professionally to, to people delivering information that's very sensitive.

And that is, um, I guess like there's a whole institution for it for a reason instead of somebody who like wakes up one day and then just decides, Oh, it's actually my voice now is the one that needs to be heard in this. And there's a difference between spreading awareness. Again, the same way that I approach all people with immediate love. I understand good intention, and I agree with spreading awareness. And I agree sometimes you need that little Kickstarter to get people aware of something. But it's then the people who have bestowed it upon themselves

to be the voice of a cause or a generation. I agree. And I'm like, dude, shut the fuck up. I get my news from Israel.gov and that's it. If it's not a.gov, I'm not listening. If the president didn't approve

of it, I don't trust it. If Hillary Clinton's not repeating it on The View, what's the point? If Patton Oswalt didn't retweet it, I am not reading that. And if he doesn't go, this, this, though, okay, but this, okay, but this,

okay, but it had me at that. It's like, it's those ones. It's those ones where it's like, do you know? And it's like, yeah. It was like when I was living with my best friend Brandon, he's gay and he's black, and during the George Floyd protest, everyone was texting him being like, I'm so I never knew and it's like if you don't know that there's racism happening and it takes you to post a square to talk about it well I'm sorry I'm sorry you just

found out today that's gotta suck to find out yeah yeah of course it's always good I had a big fight with my Australian friend the other day who I love because they do a bullshit like lip service thing in one of their comedy festivals there where they do a land acknowledgement, which again, I'm like, that's fine. Acknowledge where you're from. That's not, I don't have any issue with that. But to me it's like, but what are you doing beyond that? And their argument was, well, sometimes just alluding to it is just as good as no plan of action. And I go, no, it's self masturbatory. If there's no plan of action, as no plan of action. And I go, no, it's self-masturbatory if there's no plan of action. Give a plan of action, and I'd rather disagree with your plan of action but have you actually do something than just constantly talk around a thing.

Because the lip service makes people feel like they're doing something when they're not. No, at all. It feels like you're like, oh. That's my problem with a lot of political comedy. I think that's what I see like the Colberts of the world where I'm like, you're just letting off steam. Sometimes I'm like, well, maybe letting off steam. Yeah. Like maybe, sometimes I'm like,

well, maybe if we didn't have all this little steam to let off when Roe v. Wade got overturned, we would have stormed the courthouse. But instead, we get a lot of outlets to be like, I bet Trump's had an abortion. Yeah, he's fucking had an abortion. It doesn't matter.

He's a hypocrite. Obviously, duh. If I see one more Democrat go, well, here's the list of things Trump says, duh. Someone said to me, they replied to something. I was see one more Democrat go, well, here's the list of things Trump has done. Someone said to me today, they replied to something, I was making fun of Hillary Clinton, and they wrote back, they just said, well, Trump's going to jail soon. And I was like, no, he's not.

No, he's not. He's not going to jail. Who's going to take him to jail? The guard who voted for him? Yeah, no way. Get out of here. There's no way. Wake up.

Can't wait to see that orange man behind bars. Oh, God. How many times do people say, well, it's finally collapsing. It's all over. It's going to die in the most lovely way a human being can die in the world in the nicest. And that's what you want to tell people. You want to be like,

you're never going to get that moment with this man. You're never going to be like, we're validated in how much we hate him. You're just not going to, you have to release that. You have to give over and be like, I'm not going to get that nice thing. If it happens, great.

If it happens somehow, a thing fell on him publicly and we catch it on video and we all can watch it, that would be a nice bonus surprise. But we're probably not going to get it. My favorites are when people are like, if a piano falls from the sky. He's stealing my fucking material now. Steal the election.

Don't steal my jokes, King. All right? But I feel as well, it's like, my favorites are the ones on Twitter where it's like, Ted Cruz did this, did this,

and it's not even 1130 in the morning yet. It's like, dude, you want to know why we fucking lose all the time? Because this is our brand, dude. Like, their brand has been funny and completely disregarding the truth and it sucks

because it's not based in reality but neither is when you're trying to play in reality but nobody else is and it's like well i don't care if you're gonna do this righteous thing it's like you look like a weenie and you make the righteous thing yeah hillary clinton posted it was a picture because of the eclipse it was trump looking up at the eclipse and like this is the guy who's the republican nominee and i'm like well he did look at the eclipse he seems to be fine yeah and you lost to him so what what are you what are you bragging about over here you lost the battle yeah you gotta come with some heat and i think truly one of the only candidates that could have lost to him as well yeah yeah you know you you were so unlikable like dude do you remember lin

manuel miranda's tim kane in the membrane that is insane it's insane you watch that and that's what's crazy is like there's still people doing that stuff now and you're like you're like guys how how how do you have no memory of like how lame and how how deeply out of touch this is with how America... You know how there's that thing of, oh, if you had a time machine, you'd go back and kill baby Hitler? I think the phrase should be rephrased to, I would stop Lin-Manuel Miranda from doing the Tim Kaine rap. Yeah, truly. Okay, if I had a time machine before I stopped Lin-Manuel Miranda from doing the Tim Kaine rap, I would do... I'd do that.

But if it came later, like in the 2000s, when they probably would have invented it. Tim Kaine in November. Yeah, that one is would have invented it. It's insane in November. Yeah, that one is a crazy one to me that lives on in my heart forever. Roy Wood Jr. had, I think, it's honestly, I think he had like one of the best takes of it where Hillary Clinton went on a book tour and the book was like How I Lost. And he was like, how are you going to go on a tour for a job you didn't get?

He was like, I could talk about a lot of jobs I didn't get. And also, then it also just reeks of arrogance, too. And it's like, you guys blew it. Like, I knew the moment that Hillary lost me. Like, I wrote in Bernie Sanders that year to say, fuck you to the end. I mean, I was also in California, so I had the luxury of doing that. But I took this from Philippe, my clown teacher, who would say, even when the establishment fucks you, you could say, hey, we're still here. And so this was me

and I was upset that year because Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who was a campaign manager, I have no problem, like look, everyone smears everybody. You can smear everyone. But it was when they were directly targeting Bernie Sanders for being Jewish and it's like, let's exploit that he's Jewish and send that to the mass

world. I was like, well dude, fuck you then. You lost my vote. And then that's where and send that to the mass. Totally. Well, dude, fuck you then. Totally. You lost my vote. And then that's where I voted for Trump eight times. Yeah. No, I mean, I obviously I voted for Biden. I'm voting.

I'm going to vote for him again. Like I'm not, you don't have to be jazzed about it. And I think that's when the people are like, Joe Biden's cool. He's actually not that bad of a president. He's done pretty well. I think all things considered,

like it's just not been a reality show that it was four years ago, which honestly I think is better. Sure. I think it's better. That's not like that, was four years ago, which honestly I think is better. Sure. I think it's better. That's not like that, but like, I'm not excited to vote for him. Sure.

And also, you're supposed to criticize. Yeah. You want everyone to like get on board now so we can what all do a dance together. Yeah. I'm also like, I'm also like kind of like,

uh, my new conspiracy theory is like, do they want to lose? Because they're doing so many things where I'm like, are, are you trying to lose? Like, are you actually want to lose because they're doing so many things where i'm like are are you trying to lose like are you actually trying to lose like did you figure out that when trump was in the office you were able to fundraise so much money against trump like like because they're doing so many things badly right now and i'm like eating yeah they give it layman well back

that i'm like that i'm like back are, are you trying to lose to like use it as four years of fundraising? Like, do you know what I mean? But it's also like if you just did a good job, you would also get that fundraising,

no? I don't, but I don't think, I feel like, I feel like their thing though is not that we do good jobs. Their thing, their whole identity

that they've, they've kind of adopted is that there's bad people and we're not, we're not as bad. Which sucks because it's like you guys are also bad, you're all bad people and it's like, when you give us, yeah, I mean look, I don't know, yeah, I mean we're not as bad. Which sucks because it's like you guys are also bad. You're all bad people.

And it's like, when you give us, yeah, I mean, look, I don't think anyone needs... I mean, we're not going to solve it, but it's just like... No one needs to love the... I think there's this weird thing

about needing to love the president. Even if you're on either side. No. Even if you're a Republican, why would you like, why would you want to love the principal? It's the principal.

You should be critiquing. It's the principal. It's the principal. It's the principal. You're not the person who ran for class president. Did you like him? No. But you're like, I guess someone's got to be the job. You should be critiquing the principal. What about the person who ran for class president? Did you like him? No.

But you're like, I guess someone's got to be the job. Yeah. Never, never, dude. Final segment. You better count your blessings.

You better count your blessings. You go first. I got text. It's kind of general, but I'm winding my time down at Titanic. Are you in the show right now? I am, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I watched it at Asylum over the summers, and I loved it. Oh, cool. I wasn't in it yet. No, I'm friends with Frankie, who was in the original. Oh, yeah, Frankie. Frankie.

Frankie G. Yeah, he was with Frankie. So I joined at the tail end of Asylum and then I was doing it at the new theater. Congratulations. And then I left and then I came back recently. I love the show. Think about the listeners who have heard this. I know, I'm just telling him. I don't care

about the listeners. He said that so many times before we even started recording. He was like, dude, these people fucking suck. They're garbage. Said a bunch of slurs as well. And like all of them. What you're thinking? Worse.

Actually, wait. But my thing was going to be Debbie Downsiders, the listeners. Because there's been a nice thing. For a second, I thought we were still doing This Gotta Stop. So I was like, no, no, no, no, no. This Gotta Stop. Our listeners. No.

No, because I only have three weeks left. There's been a nice string of steady stream of podcast listeners who have been coming to Titanic, and it's very nice, and it's very, very sweet, and I feel very supported, and thank you for that. That's very kind. Yes, it does. It certainly does feel like that. I was in Plano, Texas this past weekend and just shocked the number.

The feeling that I have is I go, how do we have so many listeners here? In Plano, Texas. But not that many overall. Are they all in Plano? They're all in Plano. Are they all in Plano? How did that happen?

Yeah. No, real quick, before I say my blessing, let me just, I forgot to do it up top, plug the Patreon, because I'm also very thankful for the patrons. Patreon.com slash downside. If you're on the fence, think about joining, even if you don't want more content. It helps support the show. I think

we were talking to Russ about doing a live East Coast mini tour of like four live shows. We got an LA show. I'll do this in the plugs. I fucked it up. Let me do a blessing. My blessing is we were looking for these glasses for the eclipse,

and this guy, this guy, there's one guy on the street. He lent me the glasses to look at the moon, the sun moon, and then another guy gave it to me. And the cool thing about the eclipse is, like, it's a moment. It makes me think about when biden won where all these people are outside i let a parade in the middle of the pandemic on my on our streets in echo park oh yeah i was i was i was fucking i had a megaphone we went out for i was riddled with covid it was the most depressing thing because you were like i was riddled with it and i went to the roof to be like

let me try and celebrate and i like i like, because people are down in the streets dancing, and I immediately was sweating and had to lay down again. It was so depressing that day in New York to not be able to go out. Everyone was like, love and life. Oh, man. You were dancing. It was nuts. I had the opposite day. It was a

great one. It was just like such a nice moment. I swear I was going to die. Me, I had sex that that morning i made love to somebody as soon as we heard people screaming we were like he won and we had beautiful sex and i went down the street and then you know oh man that day it would have been tough because i still would have been happy no i was like but i was sad about yeah oh my god but it was like early enough where i wasn't sure if death was coming yet. It was only like day two or three.

So I was like, you know, I have 10 more days to figure out if I'm going to live or not. I like all your big events. His Broadway debut was also October 7th

of last year. Yeah. And I just love every, every, every life moment being coupled with some intense global.

This is really like bad for me. Yeah. You got to start knowing when you're having big, big moments because we got to alert knowing when you're having big moments because we've got to alert the FBI or Secret Service or something.

Your next bar debut, I'll send a text to Hamas. Hey, boys, careful. Be careful. So my blessing is just the guy who gave me the glasses. Just a nice reminder of there's moments of New York camaraderie

and it feels good. Oh, love those moments. Yeah. When they're not punching strangers in the back of the head, sometimes they do hand you a pair of eclipse glasses. And ladies, I'm sorry about that. Ladies.

I shouldn't be doing that. Working things out. I'm just practicing my new prank channel. Yeah. Next is basketballs. Look out, ladies. Basketball right to the twat. I shouldn't make myself the puncher.

That's a horrible, horrible way to end this. Do you have a blessing? Yeah, so the blessing is just anything in general? Yeah, but I think more specifically, if you said the art of clowning, I'd go, okay, let's get a little more specific. The idea of the art of clowning.

The idea of the art. Someone once said classically, and it wasn't where Russell wasn't there, so I was all alone, and he said music. And I was like, fuck, dude. That's not fun fun so that's why you had me come back and record again uh-huh um to me I'd say I'd say my blessings right right now I just as I did that I knocked over my hat and my headphones watch the video guys you're missing out if you're just listening on Spotify it's a killer physical comedy routine the crowd's going crazy

you can't hear them but they're not mic'd up, but they're going wild. If you took off your sweater and you're wearing one of those shiny vests that Viggo wears, I would scream. The thing is, is I have them. Or a power drill. I think you'd throw up. I am I had some good ones and then now I think I've let the pressure

get to me a little bit. Sure. But I would love to give a special shout-out specifically to Breanne Jackson and Amelia Gorman, who are the two wonderful women who work on my show right now. They have facilitated everything we could have possibly asked for in this run. They've made me feel like I have a chance of belonging here and making it here and making me feel like I really could and maybe should even move here. And yeah, I love them.

They're deeply supportive and they've let us expense, you know, like 15 remote control rats and in a bunch of sandbags we drop from the ceiling in the middle of the show and they clean up after every night. And yeah, I love them very much and they clean up after every night. And, um, yeah, I love them very much and I'm very appreciative of them. And, uh, I would,

I, I hope God has a special plan for both of them. That's very nice. That's nice. Yeah. Um, and where can people find you? Well,

that's a question, isn't it? I'm currently, when this comes out, I might be back in Los Angeles. I have, uh, three shows for the Netflix is a Joke Festival. I'm doing Jack Tucker on May 9th, Stamptown the 10th and the 11th.

We'll be back then in New York the following days doing Stamptown May 13 and 14. Vigo's gonna be here for the first time. First time legally performing in America. I think his first time back here in about six or seven years. Yeah, I'll be there. I'm doing some shows in London. Wait, when's the shows? May 13th and 14th?

Yeah, May 13th and 14th in New York. You in town? Yeah. You Titanic still or you done? I'm done. 14th, you want to go? Let's do it. Let's go.

And then when you guys watch it and you come see it and you see a proper one, then we'll get you. Are tickets on sale now? They sure are. Okay, we'll get them. Oh my gosh. Yeah, we'll do it. Yeah, we've got a show in here next Tuesday, but I think it's,

we'll be gone by then. But yeah, I've got shows in New York, LA, and London coming up and it would be rad if you guys came and if we have announced

our next Jack Tucker Off-Broadway dates by then, come see me, Jack Off-Broadway. Yeah. Yes, please. Highest endorsement, Stamptown,

and just everything Zach does. Really, check it out. It's so cool. I can't wait. We're going to go. Yeah. Great. I'm excited. I kind of cornered you.

You really had no choice. I feel good about it. I've been wanting to go. You're doing that blinking Morse code thing again. Again, let me just say one more time. We got Netflix. This is a joke. We're doing a live podcast taping. Tickets are going fast. This is May 3rd at the Comedy Store.

You can smell Zach's vomit still from upstairs to downstairs. Check that out. That's at 7pm with Moshe Kasher as our guest. And then Uncle Function, our sketch team's got a show. It will sell out. And then also New Yorkers, Uncle Function is doing a show

before we go out to LA. Monday, April 29th at the legendary Pint Loft. Featured in this episode. You can literally take a tour of some of Zach's worst performance memories

and see us live. Yes. And then join the Patreon. I know some of you guys are on the fence. It really helps us out. We're trying to build a little live tour

and you joining it means the world. Tell your friends. We are really growing. We're feeling the ball moving. So keep it going. Patreon. Tell your friends. We are really growing. We're feeling the ball moving. So keep it going. Patreon.com slash downside. And real quick, can we just get to where Hillary Clinton says that, yeah, and then go right into the music?

Philippe, what's the difference for a woman in comedy than a man in comedy? Can they do the same thing? Comedy is okay, but clown is more difficult. Yes. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside.

With Gianmarco Ceresi.