The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #210 The Hillary Clinton Simulation with Natalie Palamides

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Comedian Natalie Palamides joins to share the downsides of poppin’ a popsicle up your p*$$y in front of a live audience, clowning around with Hilary and Chelsea Clinton, getting detention for being passive aggressive, having to trick your family into watching your show, and literally wrestling with the audience. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Natalie on Instagram & Twitter Watch Natalie's special, Nate, on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81264694 See Natalie's live shows and stay up to date on all the latest at: https://linktr.ee/nataliepalamides https://nataliepalamides.com/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recording in NYC on July 1: https://www.showclix.com/event/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi-live Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at Sephora.com for complete details. I like that purse. Oh, thank you. Here, I'll put it like... That's perfect. Everyone always says, they go, why they say our couch is too

small and then their couch is too big. Yeah. But sometimes we have two guests. Hello. Hi. Hey, what's up? Yeah. Okay, great. We're starting a new thing where we started the moment I sit down. Okay.

Welcome to the downside. We're here. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hi, John Marco. And our guest who just flew a red eye. Hey, what's up? Red eye out of LA. Wow.

Thank you for doing that. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for having me. I did it just for you guys. Was it a... We're seeing Stamptown tomorrow. Are you? Yes. Okay, I'm trying to decide what bit to do, so...

Are you doing it? Is it tonight, too? You guys can help me decide. Yeah, yeah, so... Nice. Should I do something... Do you want to see something whimsical or something demonic?

Demonic. Demonic. Okay, okay, okay. So let me just fawn for a second because I don't want the whole episode to be fawning. But I saw Stamptown in Austin. Okay. And you were in it.

And I just felt, I don't know, I think I've been in my stand-up bubble for so long that it made me go like, oh yeah, you can fuck around or be brave in different ways than just the the things that you say which is so stand up no because i i went to college for theater and we did our our you know our clowning taught by the worst tenured movement teacher of all time but still clowning nonetheless yeah yeah and uh i i felt so i released this promo today Where It was a big

Big fake Flaccid penis Within the fit I was wearing I should have brought mine Well Then I finally watched Nate And I saw

I mean you thought My flaccid penis is big This way I don't even know where She's got it And I was like I'm packing I saw it

I was just like Yes this is I'm on the right track Yeah I felt like Oh I'm finally like Bringing in just other elements And so I was just like, yes, this is, I'm on the right track. Yeah. I felt like, oh, I'm finally like bringing in just other elements. And so I was just so inspired. And it really, the show, I like came back, I saw my girlfriend, I was like, I need to

incorporate more clowning in my work. And she was terrified. She said, there goes the, there goes the career. That's a good girlfriend. That's the first time somebody's ever referred to me Like as a barometer for being on the right track So I think I doubt that You are very respected artistically

Am I? Of course you are Alright, alright, thank you He really has been talking about it for weeks I've been talking about it for weeks Weeks Really? He's being genuine, yeah, yeah

Thank you so much He's not always genuine I'm not I'm not Yeah, some guests I go not. I'm not. Yeah, some guests I go, what was I doing? How many followers did I have? So I'm very happy to have you.

Did you see what she did with the Netflix sign for You Don't Follow Enough Things? We were complaining. We did our show for the Netflix festival at West Side Comedy Club. Not a very big stage. Right. Certainly no one should do Sketch There ever again. I'm pronouncing it now. Yeah.

No. And that block took up a third of the stage? Yeah. It's enormous. It's a big block, yeah. Yeah, it's absolutely. I covered mine. That was two years ago, right? With the big block?

It was this year. This year they had another big block? What was the video you just posted? Was that from this year or last year? The one where I covered it with a black sheet? Yeah. That was from two years ago. Oh.

But it was enormous. And then this year, I said that they hired me to be the sign, and then I did a bunch of naughty things while I was wearing the sign. She was wearing the sign. And it looks, you made it? I made it, but they gave me a sticker. I just asked. I said, do you have any spare signs and they said

we have these stickers i feel like that's one of your one of the skills that you you have is also just a prop creation and costume creation in a way that so few people do so you can really make it happen thank you i mean unfortunately i have to admit i'm a prop comedian i guess i i'm making so many props all this i brought I have four floppy dildos in the other room so I'm on board we tried a sketch with dildos

we had one and I had an idea so then I bought three more and then it bombed and then we cut it and now I just have four floppy dildos I feel so connected

to you right now yeah wow it was like $200 you spent I mean the dildos are expensive where do you get yours?

You just got them for Amazon, right? Amazon. I get a talk shop later. Yeah, yeah. But yours was huge and neat. Yes, but they stopped making my model. Really? Yeah.

Was there a reason why? I don't know, but I got the- They thought you degraded the dildo with your show? Something. They said, this is too dirty. Well, I liked getting the pink um skin tone so i got the extra large and the pink skin tone and they stopped making it in that color and they still make it in like a white skin tone but it just looks like you want a pink dick it just looks too peachy it looks like the fake crayon

you know like the skin color crayon and it just like the pink one looks like some blood's running through it. It's like more accurate. You know what I'm saying? Yours was a little too, I felt like. You thought it was too tan. Yeah. Exactly. But then I got the white one and the white one was like.

I agree. To be honest, I think it would be perfect for your skin tone. But for me, it was a little. A little white. A little white. A little too white. A little too white. Yeah, they need more variation. Yeah.

Any prop? Welcome to The Downside. This is a show where we get negative. We complain. We talk about failures. I don't want you to. You know what I thought the other day? I thought about how when I listen to like Conan O'Brien's show, I feel like bad about.

I'm like, wow, their lives are all so successful and great. Yeah. This is a show where I want you to feel good that you're no one in this room right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's my goal. Yeah. Was there ever a prop that was disastrous failure?

Oh my God. Well, the first thing that pops in my head was I was doing this show at UCB called the Celebrity Barf Machine. It's a gross out show. And this is like my biggest regret of all time in comedy. I don't know if this is a prop fail it is to me i was playing donald trump's ex-wife who said that she still needed to ice her pussy from how he fucked her and i put out like a popsicle up my pussy yeah for the bit and it was the most excruciating pain i've ever been in in my entire

life i had looked it up beforehand and some freaks on the internet were like yeah we do this in the bedroom all the time it's like now was it for foreplay was it the cold that hurt or was it the like yes like okay it was freezer burn i freezer burnt my pussy and then also insane yeast infection i mean oh no i have put it in a condom to try to avoid like the sugar the juice is going in but the condom slipped right off well it's melting it's getting small that's always what the popsicle says immediately melted i mean the pussy's like an oven you know what i'm saying like immediately i immediately, I put, listen. Plus, you're performing.

Yeah. You're hot up there. Yeah, exactly. Adrenaline's going. And I thought, this is so naive, I thought that it was going to be difficult for it to go in. I thought my vagina wouldn't want to receive it. Slipped right in immediately.

And this is like, there's still another act on stage. I have like about five minutes. I thought it was going to be difficult. So I was like, let me give myself some time. Pop it in. Immediately melts. Okay. And my vagina is on fire because it's so cold.

And then I get called out. Oh, you're going out with it in. It's not, you're not even, they don't even. I go out with it in and I reveal like I've been icing my pussy. She starts strong. She's not warming up to it. Yeah. And well, yeah, you can't warm up to a popsicle I learned

And so I had to shove another one in So it's out So it's You go oh and this done You get another popsicle Well I was backstage right and I put it up To prepare to enter with it in But when I put it in it just melted

Immediately and then I get called to go on So I had to just shove another one in. With another condom? You had to put it back on? No, no. There was no time for the condom. No time. Oh, God.

And the other one was still up. The condom was still up there. Oh, my God. Anyway. Wow. It was just the worst thing I've ever done. Worst mistake I've ever made. And I didn't even know what a yeast infection was at the time.

I was 25 years old. So naive. So young. So naive. And I was telling my friend, who's a man. Yeah, the time. I was 25 years old. So naive. So young. So naive. And I was telling my friend, who's a man. Yeah, but you're mid-20s. You should know. I should know, right?

You're so innocent. I know. I'm a prude, I should tell you guys. But people don't think I'm a prude because of all the nasty stuff I do on stage. But honestly, like my personal life, I mean, I'll do anything. Anyway, I'll do anything in the bedroom somebody wants. I would say that's the opposite of a pr you just described yeah but i'm an incel oh oh yes so like i haven't had any sex since well besides with myself since october 2022

wow that's long right yeah i would feel like people people must hit on you after these shows and go wow you know like no i've always wanted to try to you because of this i think people are scared yeah yeah yeah yeah but so sorry to finish the popsicle story yes um well i think i finished it but i just had to i had to put another one oh my friend when i was telling him the bit pre-show he said what are you doing i said i'm gonna put a popsicle up my vagina And he was like Oh that's a yeast infection waiting to happen

And I said what's a yeast infection I wouldn't know I know like I know UTI I know to wash my hands Before I put a popsicle up someone But I wouldn't know the popsicle itself I know like sex in water

Could lead to a UTI Oh that's true but I thought it was because of bacteria like in the water Yeah yeah yeah I wouldn't have known popsicle I would have thought you know Maybe you get a cavity Right I mean the yeast infection is a cavity of the vagina When you think about it

That is true I saw my dentist today and he was saying that to me You have a yeast infection in your tooth What does a yeast infection in your tooth. What does a yeast infection mean? Like what does that, what is it? It's like, well, there's always some candida or like yeast, like roaming around in the natural biome of your ecosystem down there. And so a yeast infection is just when it overgrows.

So when it feeds on sugar, so it just becomes out of balance and it's very just itchy. And if it's really bad, it can be painful, which it was. Most importantly, did the bit work? The bit worked. Oh, that's great. This is the downside. Worth it. Whoa. That's sick. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi.

Well, I can't wait for you to see Stamptown. I'm excited. I'm excited. I hope everyone's on board. I just hope everyone loves it the way that I was rocked by it. I hope so, too. Thanks so much for coming. Did you come to Stamptown in LA?

Or in Austin, you said? In Austin. Moon Tower this year? Moon Tower. No, no, no. SXSW. I was just performing at Cap City Comedy Club. Just terrible timing.

Yeah. And I went to the show. And I had to leave. But you were doing the dual people. Oh, nice. And then you walked out in the audience And you were yelling at Zach to be honest Yeah, yeah, take off his mask

And it was just so good Thank you I'm excited Thanks, I'm doing some new bits Okay, cool, cool, cool Fresh show And you guys just did it in Netflix's Joke, right? Yeah, we did Netflix's Joke Festival

That was fun I'm just a part of the show but i yeah i i've done quite a few of them now so i feel like part of the crew yeah or is it how do you balance doing that show and you know your solo so much of my life is very it's just me and like anything outside of that it's tough to make the time for the space for yeah um butantown seems to do a good job of like keeping you know some real talent along yeah well it's just so much fun to do the show that I kind of prioritizing doing my new sets like on that show so if I want to try

something out Zach always lets me try and I guess pretty much I only have time really to do Stantown and then my solo stuff. I'm developing a new hour right now. So yeah, I only really have time to do that. Well, I told Russell to watch Nate. He watched the trailer. Well, you told me last night at like 1130 p.m. Wrong. At 4 p.m. I told you. And I was doing stuff till 1130

and I was like, I'm gonna watch it. Are you re-watching the Harry Seinfeld Pop-Tarts movie? You don't have to watch. I'm going to watch it. Are you re-watching the Harry Seinfeld Pop-Tarts movie? You don't have to watch. I'm going to. I'm excited. I heard about it when it came out, but you just forget. It was on big buzz when it came out in 2020. Oh, thank you.

Wow. We don't need to recount four years ago. Buzz. No, I'm excited to watch it. Yeah, thank you. Well i didn't want to bring up because uh russell russell uh before we talk i want to talk so much about about popsicles but yeah now if seinfeld had been bold that would have been where it ended he shoved a pop tart yeah up his pussy and i'm frosted yeah it like really, it's like really chill family for the whole, right at the last scene.

Post-credit sequence. If you sit through the credits, it's an outtake. He shows a one, two, and then they pop back out. The key is that they're unfrosted so he won't get the yeast infection. Yeah.

That's how it goes. Why was it called unfrosted? Because, because, it should have been called Pop-Tart. Because I think originally the Pop-Tart did not have the frosting on it. Shut up. And I think it was like, it's unvarnished.

It's the, it's the. Oh, like untold, like the, the, the like uncensored. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he's going for. I haven't told you yet, but when we start, we're doing a live Patreon episode tonight. We're going to open and we won't release it publicly just for the Patreon. We're going to talk about that movie for, for, because I think it's important. I think comedians, I do not, comedians We're not talking enough shit anymore

And we have lost the filter Of what makes comedy good Because we all What is Jerry Seinfeld going to offer me right now He doesn't have a podcast I'm not in the movie he's never making another movie I'll tell you that right now You're the only one not in that movie

Even though it did so well at the box office It did? I'm not in the movie. He's never making another movie again. I'll tell you that right now. You're the only one not in that movie, by the way. Even though it did so well at the box office? It did? Just kidding. Oh, no, no. Let me call out that joke since we're calling out comedians right out the gate. Did you watch it?

I haven't watched it, but there was a lot of good buzz around it. Was there buzz around it? Wasn't there? Were you at the Netflixflix festival and there was exact netflix executives being like oh you know i asked someone from netflix and they said haven't heard anything about it and i think that was the most they could say yeah yeah but we got to start talking shit again because let's talk shit i cannot stand interviews asking a guy who made the worst comedy in the last 100 years. What's the secret to comedy? Yeah.

And then we have to listen. And then we go, then we go, we get to hear him talk about culture. He's talking about what he can't do. And then you watch that movie and you're like, what, what could, what, what was left on the cutting room floor? Like what were you? There's not one joke that you're like, oh, wow. He's, you know, he made some good stuff. I mean, the sitcom guys

i'm a seifeld i'm a seifeld fan yeah yeah yeah but that was a long that was a long time ago it was one thing and isn't that our greatest fear to like age out of being it's money it's money you cannot be that rich it ruins you it ruins everybody you think i was i was thinking about to a certain extent yes i was just thinking just thinking about, again, I've just been, about your comedy. There's so, there's parts of it that are so dirty and so grungy and so just like- It can get nasty. It can get nasty. And you like, you sacrifice your body for it.

That's true. I'm achy. And like, there's no way Seinfeld's ever going to do a bit where someone picks him up by his nipples. He's like, oh, why would I do that to myself? I think he'd be weird about a woman doing it. Oh, of course. He'd be grossed out.

He wants people to be not PC and stuff until a woman takes her nipples out and he's like, what's going on? What's the deal with these nipples out here? I want to do that bit with Russell where he just picks me up by my yeah zach picks me up by my nipples i've heard yeah now you're using your legs to like make it oh yeah it's mostly core sure core work going on yeah legs and core and arms as well i'm like lifting myself with my arms yeah before we move on like like it makes you you you go oh my god you guess you think

they're gonna pop off yeah do you oh yeah wow it's the vision it works it's visceral thank you how do you discover something like that is your idea or like how does that happen you know i did a project last year with zach where we had this bit where we were like fucking with each other's nipples and like twapping each other and like it got to a place where we're you know just riffing on nipple play and he would be yanking my nipples so it just came naturally in a show when we were improvising the first time i did the take off the mask bit it was just i was just fucking with him and improvising in a show and i said maybe i can help you out. And I, I jumped on top of him. We pretended to start fucking. And then I just, I was just riffing and we were just improvising. I just bent backwards

and he had the idea to pull me up by my nipples because of this previous nipple bit that we did the year before. Yeah. Love that. Can I just say, I went up before jerry seinfeld one time i like to say i opened for him but i just had my i did nate at a theater where he was going up after me oh my god he came in after the show it's just always the stage is a total mess and he walked in and you know if you What happened in here? Speaking of, we added a sound cue. I haven't used it yet, but I did want to use it right now. And I want to see. Yes.

One more time. Yes. Do you know what that is? No. One more time. Yes. That's Hillary. That's Hillary.

Wow. That really brought me back to the clowns it was so funny is we had zach and i was like oh i want to play that fucking weird clown clip i saw a long time ago so i found it and then when it cut to you i didn't know you when i saw the clip so when i saw that i was like lost my mind i was like what the fuck is going on here now hill's a fan of the she's a friend of the pod so we don't want to go too hard on her oh is she that's awesome not at all but i don't know maybe she maybe she's your clowning friend i mean i know you came up together in the clown world yeah i wouldn't go that, but she's definitely a clowning associate. What was that show? It was the most insane.

This is why I think we live in a simulation for sure. There was that Scientific American article that came out saying it's a 50-50 chance. And I'm like, it's more like 90-10. Yeah. What did that article say? 50-50? That was a calculus? Yeah.

Some guy said, 50-50 50 let's publish it 50 50 chances of simulation but i'm like i get a call from my manager by the way he prefaces it by saying you don't have to do this if you don't want to and i was like what is this and he's like do you want to go to paris and i was like yeah and take a clowning class and i was like okay with hillary and chelsea clinton i was like, okay. With Hillary and Chelsea Clinton. And I was like, how could you say no to that? Of course, of course I want to fucking go do this. And it was just the most surreal thing I've ever,

I was, yeah, I took a clown class with Hillary and Chelsea Clinton and they got up there and they tried their best. When she put a popsicle in her pussy how did it go you know it's um she she went beast mode and yeah it didn't she didn't flinch she didn't flinch when she put that popsicle up there and um chelsea clinton let me grab her boobs on camera that's part of the uh thing in the they kept it in. Sure. And the gutsy show or whatever. I'm grabbing her tits. And moments before, probably I can't say this because I

signed an NDA, but she kind of like chewed out the sound guy for reaching up her shirt without asking. And here I am sitting across from her, made a show about consent, which she has seen. And she turns to me and says, can you believe he did that? Can you believe he just did that? And I was like, I probably would have just let him do it. And then she kind of like looked at me like, how am I not backing her up in this? And I was like, fuck, Natalie, just agree with her.

Just agree. You're about to do an interview with her. This was pre-interview. But then still in the interview, I was like, fuck, Natalie, just agree with her. Just agree. You're about to do an interview with her. This was pre-interview. But then still in the interview, I was surprised. Because I had reached out to grab the tits of the clown teacher. I thought for sure if anybody was going to say yes, it's him. The clown teacher would. Yeah.

And he was like, no. And then she presented herself to me and perked up. And she was like, I will. Or, you know, you can do me. Oh, my God. And what a good sport. Yeah. Right?

I mean, this girl, she'd been through the ringer. Sure. Yeah, weird life. Weird life. Weird life. Weird life to be Chelsea Clinton. Could you imagine you get chosen for that role in the simulation? Yeah.

They're like, Ghislaine Maxwell is going to be at your wedding. Yeah. Donald Trump's going to be at your wedding. Donald Trump is going to be at your wedding. Whoa. You didn't know that? What? They're all friends. They're doing private clown classes at Mar-a-Lago. Of course. Also, it's so funny to imagine how

when you think of all the world leaders being friends from all the backgrounds and there's a certain evil element to it. Also how boring, do you know what I mean? Like that party is not fun. There's not like weird drugs at that party. Do you know what I mean?

Like it's like a boring part. I bet they talk about this clown class all the time. Cause it's like one of the craziest things they ever did. Yeah. She, she tells, he goes home to and says to bill, like,

Oh my God, the sound guy reached his hand on my shirt and he's like, okay, don't, don't look up my history. Yeah. Um, the clown girl wouldn't help me do you do you we're very cynical about

politicians on this show yeah i love it yeah yeah do you ever look back on it and go do you did you ever go oh should i have done that do you ever see Hillary say something on the news and go oh fuck there's a video of me with Hillary Hillary came to his show his Broadway show shut the fuck up he was understudying for Josh we've shared this on the show

shut the fuck up congratulations dude but thank you that's awesome that she came and I remember you you you grabbed chelsea's tits and it was a big controversy everybody's getting to do that chelsea didn't come um but uh yeah no he didn't take a picture with her there's a picture thing at the end it was he got out of the picture well because well it was during the it was during the emails thing no no no i don't care

it was during the 2016 election no um no it was like it was like the week she had been on the view talking about why we needed to be bombing gaza and stuff like this is an evergreen thing so it was like it was like i was like i don't want right now, I don't want to be associated with this person who's like a mouthpiece for like what's happening. Or politicians. I just think politicians, you cannot predict the trajectory of their careers. Of course not, yeah. Why? You can't predict the trajectory of anybody.

Of course, but politicians have. No, that's true. Think of all the comics you have pictures with. I remember when TJ Miller, he was doing, he was coming around like the Village Lantern, his old comedy club, and he'd be taking pictures of everyone. And this was like right in the mix of you did not want to be in a picture with TJ Miller.

But with politicians, they make big decisions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to like- That affect everybody. It's different. It's different. Yeah. I'm trying to brace myself to not...

For when Hillary comes to see you. When Hillary comes to see me. When Hillary comes to see you. She wants to open for me in a fun little thing. To be like, no, even though it's cool. I sang for George Bush once when I was a kid. Maybe that's why my manager was like, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

I also would have, I don't think I always would have. It just was the, you know, there was a certain switch and a certain thing where I was like, right now it felt very icky to me. I think that's fair. You know what? It was probably ignorance of me, but I didn't think about the political implications

of like supporting somebody. I was just like, I to see this woman also it's much it's much different it's much harder no to be like you're going to paris you're gonna be on a show yeah you're gonna it's a like a much bigger easier thing for me to be like i'm not gonna take a photo you know what i mean like it's a much lesser deal listen i, I would have done it, by the way. By the way, I would have done it with a I'm with her shirt on about like five years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not judging. I just think it's like in the last couple years,

I always think about my step-grandfather, but he had a picture of him with like Bill Clinton and it was like this pride and joy. And I look back and I'm like, yeah, he had a frame. And I look back and I'm just, yeah, he had a frame. And I look back and I'm just like, I'm like, come on. Why do you need this to mean something to you?

What part of your order do you need this guy to be special? It's just an evil person that went to Epstein's Island. Yeah, it's so interesting. Yeah, people love it. Do you think when Bill got back from Epstein's Island, Hillary was like, did you bring me back anything? I mean, she was there, right?

She probably went, they probably all went. She's on the gas list. I don't think it was all, I don't think it was always, I don't think she always was there. It wasn't probably sometimes it was just like a barbecue, a barbecue. Yeah. Like nice weather. Who doesn't like a barbecue? Yeah.

Can you imagine if your manager, you don't have to do this. There's a guy, Jeffrey Epstein, and he wants to do a clowning workshop. But honestly, I'd be like, I am going to that. You know what I mean? Should I have been invited? I have to witness this. I definitely would have been there. Just to be like a private jet to a private island.

Yeah. If you didn't know all the back story of it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But honestly, you can judge you know you were saying I'm not judging listen we are always all judging each other and I think it's okay to admit that we're judging yeah right but I literally can't based on like who I was we taught I used to have i'm with my laptop i was like i was like listen i like bernie but listen hillary she's she's she's a snake and she gets the job done

she's the smart one yeah and now i see it i'm like what the fuck was i was i thinking so it's all good man yeah man everybody makes mistakes but her saying yeah and that clip is so funny because it's just on camera. She does not understand what he says. No. I mean the whole time it's like talking to a robot person. After that I was like if anybody is a lizard person, it's her. She talks like she's – it's like a PR version.

She's always had to talk in a way where she's like representing a certain thing. And so I imagine conversations are just torturous. I mean, she's just like learned to do that. Also, she doesn't look you directly in the eye, which I imagine is some sort of tactic or technique for intimidation technique. But can you see how I'm looking at you right now? Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awful. And I'm not really looking.

It's like this. and she's like how she said pretty in pink today natalie wow you really switched a thing wow that's scary wow she's like looking somewhere else and i'm like hi hello even like in clown class you do a lot of exercises where you walk around the room you have to make eye contact and she would never make eye contact and i just so badly wanted to go yeah like to break the simulation yeah yeah yeah i'd love to see you do a sketch with hillary clinton um so uh you you grew up in pittsburgh is that right yes wow you did a little bit of digging yeah that's that's all yeah pitt Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And you, Maryland. And you? Upstate New York. Very cool. Look at us. East Coast.

East Coast. East Coast. Liberal snobs. East Coast elites. Yeah. Is that true? East. Not where I grew up. I was in upstate New York. Also not where I grew up. I thought you were joking. Oh, no. Me.

He was a snob. Yeah. York it's very like also not where I grew up I thought you were joking oh no me he was yeah he was like that's why I don't like these politicians I grew up where they all lived and stuff I know them I know them I know their lawyers you know what I mean too much yeah I've seen too much yeah um so what were you were you as as like clowny in as kid? Were you a class clown? I was class clown. You got it in senior year? Yeah, I did. The superlative. I think it was like most likely to be on SNL or something.

But yeah. Now, what were you doing in school to get that? I was always goofing around. I mean, like even up through grade school and stuff, I was doing impressions of the teachers or kids were stopping me in the hallway to do different impressions. Yeah. I had this one game that kids would stop me in the hallway to do called the hand game where I would play this. Now, looking back, I'm mentally challenged character who was

playing like this little piggy and went to market with people's hands. And then I would leave their finger up, you know, and then to my surprise, they'd be flicking me off. And I'd be like, are you flicking me off? And that would just kill. And I would do it at like, you know, recess. And you invented that. Yeah, I invented the hand game. would do it at like you know you invented that yeah yeah i invented the hand game meredith was the character's name like kind of i'm meredith you want to play the hand game i just remember there was a time we were tova and i watched uh hubie halloween and I was like, oh, Adam Sandler's just playing a mentally disabled person. Yes. And it's not called that, but that's the whole thing.

Right? Yeah. So I think you've got to lean into, what was her name? Meredith. Meredith. Yeah, that might get me on the silver screen. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That's my next TV show. What age was that you think that was around 12 years old like uh through middle through middle school i was doing that and i remember my my vice my old vice was uh was the generic asian accent oh god senior year of college people were stopping you to do that one Senior year of college It was a joke It was like second, third grade Everyone was doing it

I just did it better That was the only accent I could do That's the bummer I can't do any accents Would you say any offensive You look back and you go I think probably because I couldn't do that I'm not good at that x sure thank god so right i don't think i was i was never just trying

i was uh i uh i i don't think i did accents that wasn't really my thing um one sketch i never made it was the it was a a sketch comedian who builds a time machine just so he can go back to a time where he could impersonate black celebrities. Cause that's all he could do. We have a friend who's just very good, but pretty much. No, no,

no. Um, so you ever get in trouble for it? Um, I did get in, uh, yeah, I got in trouble for some stuff.

I, um, excuse me. I, uh, took my, uh, junior year picture, like, in a weird costume where I, like, had put baby long stockings. Excuse me, wires in my braids. And I was wearing, like, big glasses and a weird sweater. And they had made me do a retake of the photo because they said it wasn't an accurate representation of myself.

So I just, when retakes came, I refused to smile in the photo. And that photo is now on my Twitter or my ex. Uh-huh. Yeah. But, and then I would just do certain things, like I would speak up against certain things that I thought were wrong. But maybe this, my teachers actually, they supported me like goofing around in class. Like my one teacher, I think,

noticed that I liked to goof off in class. So he made me his like assistant, like his Vanna, the chalkboard. So I would like help him in class or we had a, what's it called? A student teacher who everybody hated. And after her term ended, I did like a whole class, like teaching as her, which my English teacher condoned and like allowed me to do. Do you remember that? Yeah. She like always had big pit stains and would always like go like this, pulling out her bra strap.

So I put like big pit stains on. Yes. That's my shirt. And then pull out, pull out my bra straps and just taught like an English class. I think she gave me like 10 minutes or something, but, um,

Oh yeah. When I got in trouble, it was like speaking out against like in the lunchroom, they had forced the kids to like, um, lessen the amount of people that were sitting at the table. So, you know, a lunch table would have like 13 kids and they changed the rules to eight people max. And I was like, that's fucked up. Cause now kids are getting ostracized from their lunch table. And I kind of like yelled at my vice principal in the hallway saying like,

you're ostracizing kids and making the kids get left out or whatever. And he was like, you're being passive aggressive. And I was like, I was like, you're causing unnecessary stress. Did you win? Did you, did you? No, I got called into the principal's office. I think I got detention or something.

You had detention? Yeah. For being passive aggressive. Did you have detention at your school? Yeah. Really? I don't think we had. What do you mean you didn't have detention?

What did they do to you? Yeah. Nothing. Wait, what? I think it was like you got suspended or not, but we didn't have like the concept. We didn't have the concept. There's nothing between like nothing and suspension?

Well, in my high school at least, you could leave campus for like food or whatever, anytime you wanted. So there was, you could get that revoked for a period of time. Still, detention was like. Not that anyone could keep track of you. Because there was detention, then there was in-school suspension. Yeah. And then there was like.

In-school, that's a school. No, you go to a room all day and you're like with all the other troublemakers and you're trapped in that room all day. Yeah, in-school suspension. Like with all the other troublemakers And you're trapped in that room all day Yeah in school suspension It's worse than being I think worse than being suspended Because you gotta go to school Can you doodle? You have homework I didn't get in school suspended

You still do the work You just don't get to have fun You just sit in a box all day I got detention for the school photo thing. And it's just like, that's so stupid. They said it wasn't an, it wasn't an accurate representation of me.

I'm like, that's the most accurate representation is like me wearing a reindeer sweater with wires in my. Sure. Yeah. You know, that is me. Also,

why do they care? It's a photo for you. I know. Like it's not their photo. What is this? You know, that is me. Also, why do they care? It's a photo for you. I know. Like it's not their photo. What is this? You know, it was power. Let me,

let me, let me see if I can, uh, play the other side of the school. So, okay. Devil's advocate. Look,

if we let kids start doing this, suddenly every kid is, is making weird faces. Then guess what happens? All the fucking parents, they start calling. They go, I just wanted a nice picture of my kid for the wall at home for their grandma to look at. And now my kid is a booger hanging out and they got a popsicle up their ass. But they got to talk about that with their kids.

They got to offline with that. Yeah, they got to. But they go, the parents put it on them. They could have contacted her parents and then been like, if they're like, we're fine with it. Yeah. Then it's fine. But then every kid starts doing it and then been like, if they're like, we're fine with it, then it's fine. But then every kid starts doing it and then the parent says, I don't think every kid starts doing it. I think kids are really scared

and that's a bold thing to do that not a lot of kids would do. You know why they're scared? Because we've had order for a long time at this school. And we start here three years from now and suddenly every parent is flipped out. You have to keep order so the year books look nice i just i just imagine i just imagine running a school is a fucking nightmare

and parents are like constantly like blaming you for jobs that they should have done tell me about it no i think about when i have a kid i'm like if i have a kid i'm like where would i send them i don't i hate all these institutions i think about'm like, where would I send them? I don't, I hate all these institutions so deeply. I'd probably send them to some fucking fruity Montessori school where there's no classes. I would send to, what's that one that starts with a W? Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's in California somewhere. I haven't heard of it.

Oh, I don't know. Can you look it up? It's like a Montessori. Starts with a W. And where have you heard about about it my friend's kids went to it yeah it's in altadena there's one altadena i want them to learn like real skill i think of i think of so many classes 70 of them could have cut oh definitely and also they don't teach you anything about taxes nothing nothing oh my god you're thrown to the wolves nothing putting in an ac yeah and these days also we skip right to the baby in like homes and career like remember that like we we made monkey bread and then we had to like raise a baby whoa wait what class are you talking

about it sounds like you went to a montessori school classes i own careers they changed the name of it waldorf school they changed the name of it waldorf School. They changed the name of it. Waldorf School. A Waldorf School. That's the kind you want to go to. Wait. What is this? You had a home ec? Yeah. I did not have home ec. In middle school.

What did you learn? You said monkey bread? Monkey bread. Like you make. Dude, that sounds epic. Like a thing. What is monkey bread? I've never had monkey bread.

You've never had monkey bread? Oh, my God. I've never even heard the concept of monkey bread. You haven't lived. Oh, my God. It's so good. Oh, my God. Good Lord.

Anyways, it's like a dessert. It's like a fried bread. Yeah. the concept of monkey bread. You haven't lived. Oh, my God. It's so good. Oh, my God. Good Lord. Anyways, it's like a dessert. It's like a fried bread. Yeah. Like cinnamon bread. And you made it in an oven? Yeah. A hot plate? No, like in an oven.

It's delicious. We made it. Buttery cinnamon bread. So we did that. But then we had to have babies for like a week. And we had to make the babies out of cloth. And then- You had to take care of it like at

home of it and i got i got points off because my um locker was right next to the home careers um like teachers room and one time i came back from class and loudly when i got to my locker i'd be like damn it i forgot my baby and she was standing right there and she just was like russell like and i like like so she gave me points off because i like announced it to the hall like she didn't she wasn't supposed to be she wasn't supposed to be there that was not for her to see you can't take points off for snooping how do you gonna grade kids like because like you know teachers are so fucked anyways um but clearly upset about it that's a good indication I know I was a good I forgot And I knew I forgot You know But yeah I don't

Like it is weird The things we had to learn Because then I don't remember anything In certain other classes Math classes Oh my god Anything after seventh grade Calculus

We did not need No we didn't need it Especially because we weren't doing taxes And you just forget it I just go like You could give me the first assignment For calculus I wouldn't know how to do it anymore

It's gone Yeah It's gone out of my brain Py i do remember that a squared plus b squared oh i remember that but what do we do with it you do like we're not working at nasa what do we do but that i guess they have to like in case somebody wants to if i'm gonna put a carpet down yeah what do i do you You know what I mean? Does that help me? Knowing that. But what about for the kids that

want to go work at NASA they have to have those classes. I know none of, no one kid from my school works at NASA right now. What are you going to decide when you're in ninth grade if you're going to work at NASA? I think you know a little bit more. I just think the problem is. Do you think you know? I knew I knew I wanted to do i was a performer

i begged my parents sent me to an arts uh a sleepaway school boarding school i went to like a summer camp see there were a couple kids from there who went there i wouldn't know those things even exist where i like looked them up and my parents said oh sure we'll look into this and i knew they were lying wow oh he took care of our friend's kid recently i did yeah how was that and you left it in the locker i know i remembered it was a well it was a new york city apartment so there wasn't a lot of places to go but um yeah i uh she's gonna she's our friend's daughter she's three gonna be four um and like it was it was like very we know where it's going very fun by the way what do you mean three going to be four oh yeah yeah three going

on four um but it was fun it was fun uh you know um it was you forget that they don't know that much when and yet they can be so wise they can isn't that crazy it's true what was a wise thing she said to you that made you go? Yeah. No, it was mainly like things I would say and I'd be like, and she'd be like, she had no concept. She'd be like, I don't like I, she was, she was not falling asleep. And I was like, why don't you try counting sheep? Right.

And she's never heard that phrase. So she was like, why? And then I was like, I was like, oh, that's something people do. And then you're like trying to explain a thing that's crazy. It probably came from when people farmed and had sheep. Yeah. Also, I don't think she can count like beyond 10 really. So it was like, okay.

They used to have that in storybooks though and stuff like, you know, depictions of kids counting sheep in bed and stuff like that. She had never seen it. She'd never seen that. She had no concept of it. So she was like, why do I, why would I count sheep?

And I was like, Oh, okay. Um, it's just something people do. And she's like, Ooh. And I was like,

I don't know. And I was like, I guess I don't do that. I don't know who does it. You know what I mean? I actually did try it like a couple weeks ago. I was having trouble getting to sleep. It didn't really work. Well, a couple weeks ago. Yeah. having trouble getting to sleep. It didn't really work.

Well, a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Me every night for my entire life. Really? Really. Oh my God. You literally tried counting sheep? No, no, no.

Oh. You should have told her what you do. You should have said, oh, just watch a TV show for three hours and then you pass out on the couch and then crawl into bed two hours later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I watched a thing on human trafficking that last night oh it's crazy anyways um that's what you fell asleep to uh no i tried and then i had to turn it off because i was

not it was like too god i joe list is a comedian and he has so much great stuff about sleep but he said he called his wife he was on the road and said i can't go to sleep and she said have you tried jerking off and he was like that's's what I did that before I called you. That was the first step into this line of, I can't fall asleep. Am I in a hotel room? Uh, yeah. Um,

yeah. The, uh, oh, but kids, it's, it's an intense thing though. Cause I don't have them.

And I was like, he doesn't want kids, you know, but I wanted to have kids. Oh, because you think he'll be a good dad. I just want a kid. I just want to,

I just want a close friend with a kid. I don't think my siblings are having kids anytime soon. Right. I just want to know, I think the tough thing about even considering parenthood

is like being a New Yorker. I don't have that. It's not like I see kids and go like, oh, well, there's this challenge and oh, there's this joy. And it's like, it's so theoretical to me.

Right. I know I like kids. Yeah. But I haven't had to, I haven't even had to, you know, help one go to sleep and struggle with it and feel that struggle. Yeah. And since I was, you know, young. Yeah. And I, it's sad.

It is interesting to see from the, like I have a couple cousins with kids and a couple close friends in LA with kids. And it's just, what a thing to watch. How does your family feel when they see your work? Oh my God. They can't watch it. They're disappointed in me. Really? Are they really? Ashamed. Um, yeah, well they've come around now. I mean, my mom just watched my Netflix special this year, which came out three years ago. Does that, do you think that hurts somewhere deep down?

Yeah, I think maybe a little bit, but I think I've gotten over it. My mom used to send me emails. She's so funny. I mean, I think like both my parents might be on the spectrum or something. I know where you're not supposed to, you mentioned that you guys had talked about that in a previous episode. Oh, at some point. Overusing the phrase on the spectrum. I've said like my mom

with her ex-husband will be like, he didn't pay the alimony this month. He's on the spectrum. I'm like, that's not one of the symptoms. My mom has like, she's going to watch this. I love you, mom. Is she really? She didn't watch your Netflix? She's going to watch

the podcast live? She creeps on all my stuff and podcasts and stuff. And, like, she'll tell me, like, you're not wearing enough makeup or, like, you don't look pretty. Or, like, today, she just sent me a text today. Where is this? So I posted this video yesterday that I just thought was a fun family memory. And this is so funny. And I love my mom, and she's a good person.

She's just like has like a bad like barometer for like social interaction and like how you should talk to people and your daughter and stuff. She said, take down that Instagram post. That is disrespectful to Luke. He wouldn't be happy to see that, and that's disgusting that you're trying to bribe him with money. P.S., I'm a P.S. I'm ashamed of both of you. And Jen Baxter, who is my friend that was there that didn't do anything,

would act like that. Grow up. What was the video? What was the video? It's just my – I bet my brother money to eat a big chunk of wasabi. It's like a wasabi challenge. And he like eats it and his mouth like hurts and me and my dad are laughing and my mom is upset. But she used to send-

That's the tamest thing one of you have put in your body. Yeah, yeah. Well, she used to send me emails saying my comedy is like porn and nobody's ever gonna hire me and um then i i just said to her you know i that hurts my feelings yeah and i won't talk to you until you stop sending me those emails and then it finally hit home and she stopped but now i think she's she's come back i was like really? This hasn't happened in so long and to just get one today? I'm like, I don't know what's going on. Is there a religious or conservative element to the thing that's like porn?

Like when you're growing up kind of? I was raised Catholic, but she's like a C&E person. She's not devout, but she'll bring up Catholic morals when it is convenient to do so. Like my, when my special came out, my dad said, I'm glad both your grandparents are dead so they don't have to see this. That should have been the pull quote.

Yeah. That's a great, I mean, I want to see that. Yeah. He's also come around to, they both come around, but I don't think my dad's ever watched it.

It's so like, I always said like i know i would never think that my dad would get my comedy what i do think he would get would be like well look at all these people that showed up and are here for it like you don't understand like oh people seem to like this it's impressive that somehow this happened but i don't even think that really you'd think with the netflix special they they'd see the quality of it they'd see amy poehler introduce it at the beginning and go oh yeah my dad watched the first like i think 10 minutes and then was like i can't do this and walked out of the room from what i heard ever it's fine who's telling you that information um my mom told me okay but my tits are out like i get it's probably hard like as a dad to watch your daughter like with her tits out on tv right like sucking a dick and stuff i get it it's probably hard yeah i guess so yeah but i will

tell you okay this is a little bit redeeming for my dad because my mom sent that text to me in a group text. He said, disregard mom's message. I told her she's out of line. Okay. That's nice. Do you remember like when you did, did they ever see you in a show and go, oh, I like this. Oh, you did the seagull.

That was great. Yeah. They loved like my plays and stuff that I did in college. Sure but um what about your brother yeah my brother loves loves my stuff it i it took a bit of convincing to get him to watch nate because he was like i'm not gonna watch you like with your tits out for an hour you know and uh so i kind of had to rip the band-id off and I tricked him into coming to like see me do a set and he's like, you're not doing Nate, are you? And I was like, no, no, but then I did. Little does he know how much the characters have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my characters have their dits out. Interior Chinatown is an all-new series based on the best-selling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown is an all new series based on the bestselling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown streaming November 19th only on Disney plus take back your free time with PC express online grocery delivery and pickup score in-store promos PC optimum points and more free time

and still get groceries shop now at pcexpress.ca. I, as soon as I, as I, as I think about how much I saw Stamptown, I was like, Oh, this, Oh, this is what, this is what theater can be. And I, I think about like, when did I, when did I shift away? And I feel like part of it is is like i feel like the the more experimental the art form the more to be harsh people without talent can hide within it or or ultimately like uh uh come under the illusion that they're doing something. Zach really talked, I think in a surprising way, about like holding people accountable to what's not good.

Interesting. You know, in a loose way. I know some people like really, really bristle at the thought of, just like that, that if you're talking with an artist friend and you respect them and you want to be like a real friend. You tell them. You tell them. Yeah.

And I just think a lot about, you know, I was talking about whether it's criticizing Jerry Seinfeld, but I think there's the real harder thing is like interpersonally with your close friends. How do you, it's like everyone wants feedback, but no one really wants feedback. And it's so hard. And I remember like being at theater camps

and there were the people that would gravitate towards viewpoints and i feel like did you ever do viewpoints and you know what i mean way no it's like it's like we're all gonna walk around the room and now play like a song on and you're like and you're like supposed to be like tuned into everyone in the room and stuff. And, and, and things can happen out of that. You play with levels and oh yeah, you're reflecting each other. And it's like, it's the kind of thing that an incredible movement piece could, could grow from. And the worst piece of theater you could imagine could grow from.

And it, I just remember at that when i was you know my most like uh creatively inclined i wasn't thinking about business at all yeah and i just remember just being like some of this feels like it's bullshit some of it feels like like no one's no one's uh making sure that it's funny or no one's making sure that there's structure and i guess when when did you kind of find the shift into clowning and like do you ever look at someone doing something on stage and you're going you're just naked you're just you're just showing your genitalia yeah you're not doing something what's the difference between like burlesque or stripping and like doing a piece of art or like a performance. Yeah.

I mean, there's definitely a fine line and probably some people would consider what I do to be just that. Like, oh, you're just shocking people. It's just shock value or something. But you use it for something. I mean, you use it. It's a tool. I think so. Yeah.

Of course. But maybe some people wouldn't think that. And they're not artists. Yeah. I would say. Yeah. That's why you better fucking enjoy this guy. I swear to God.

It's subjective, I guess. But yeah, you better watch him like that. What happened at Austin? The theater was upset at you about something? Oh, oh my God. They were being such dicks to me because they asked me to just send my text sheet of everything I needed. And I have a camping shower in the show, which like has a baby pool underneath it to hold water, which was all described to them. And they told me that they, they weren't happy with that, but they didn't even attempt to like

have a conversation with me about it. He was just like, the theater's not happy about the camping shower. And they would like to see a video of it to prove you know to see like how it works it was just the way it was word it was like so kind of rude or something and i was like i'm not sending you a video sure i'm just gonna do this yeah also all these theaters you're like what what are we being precious about yeah comedy theaters do you know what i mean like it's a black box. That theater we were at in LA for our sketch show. Oh my God. They were like, you can't drag the chairs on the stage. What?

And you're like, okay. It's like original wooden floors or something. You know what I mean? They were being so weird about that kind of thing. We were like, shut up. This is a shitty little stage. It's fine. It's not like it's original hardwoods

and a Victorian or something. That's crazy. It's not like it's original hardwoods and a Victorian or something. That's crazy. It might be original, but it was originally shitty. So who fucking cares? You know what I mean? Yeah. You're on the board of the Elysian? I am.

Oh, cool. I did my show there, and it was so great. Oh, good. What a great space. Okay, I'm glad you had a good experience. Yeah, it was just the right vibe. It'm glad you had a good experience yeah it's just the right vibe it was just the right closeness to the audience and nice yeah i i don't book any shows and i don't really have much power but i do i do just like give my two cents about like what i

would like to see at the theater and stuff like that yeah they told me i wasn't allowed back um i had a camping shower on stage uh in in In Nate, you have so much audience interaction. Yes. How many tapings did you do for that? Two. Two. That's nerve wracking. Two an hour apart.

And it was hell doing the turnaround for that because I only have one costume. We were like blow drying everything. It was psychotic. Yeah. Which did you end up using? First or second? Mostly the second show. A couple of things from the first, but yeah.

But once you establish your ex's name, that's the name. Yeah, yeah. You got to use the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. That's really stressful. The only parts we kind of cut up were like at the beginning when I was like grabbing people's tits because I did like about maybe like four four or

five people in each show so just like cut it down and used I think a couple people from each one but sorry you're saying no no uh do you ever because there's one point where you wrestle with an audience yes yes were there ever any what was the bad version of that? Do you have any bad shows of where just like they wouldn't engage or they were like, okay, you're hurting me? Well, you know, it's hard for me to hurt somebody cause I'm usually smaller than whoever I bring up. But, um, I mean, there's been situations where like somebody's hurt me. Like, so pre-Edinburgh, I took the show to Edinburgh. And before I took it, like I was just doing the show in the States and I had never had like anything for them to read or tell them what they're about to do. But then when I went to the UK, they're very diligent about doing risk assessments for their show.

And they were like, you have to tell the audience member like what they're about about to do, like before they do it. And I was like, Oh really? They're like, yeah, it's like, we can't like pass the show if you don't do that. So I had created, like, there's, there's just a, what, like a clipboard or something that I give them that tells them you're about to wrestle Nate for real. Please let him know if you have any injuries or sensitivities. And please keep in mind that he's just a little lady, so wrestle gently but with passion. But before I had that note that I gave them, people would wrestle me like really hard

because I'm like really egging them on and calling their girlfriend a whore and stuff like that. In the taping, the girl did not seem down to clown, so to speak. So there was a part we cut out where she popped a pill while he was up on stage. So I don't know. And we cut it because it seemed like it was kind of dark. But she establishes like, this is my ex.

And then calls her a whore from the stage. But like she just did, she did not look like someone that would be fun to talk about the show with. Like she just looked like she was like pissed. They raised their hands. Like I'm like, why are you volunteering? Like, you know, also like leading up to that there's a lot of audience interaction so you know like what's happening in this show that I'm going to interact with you especially when I'm asking you to raise your hand but it has gone wrong in that

like like this one guy like slammed me down on like a spot that looked like he the audience thought like he broke my neck or whatever but it was like a scary moment for the audience, but I was fine. But I was like, yeah, this guy's like wrestling me way too hard. Um, there was a point in Edinburgh where like a drunk guy came up,

I guess he had heard about the show because he just came up at a random point in the show and like threw me down on the ground before I had even introduced the bit. No. Oh my God. And then, um, I mean, yeah. And then there's times when somebody just doesn't want to wrestle me and I'll just, that's actually fine because I'll just tell them to like hold my arm and then I like make

it look like they're doing it. And so you kind of get some laughs out of that because the audience can see not doing anything. So yeah. That one guy just heard that he could go beat up a woman yeah yeah and he couldn't even wait he's like you know one day it's all men in the audience every single audience member i gotta do it now yeah what do you got bitch oh my god um but uh were you ever nervous with uh The other jobs that you do You know just

Getting fired Yes yes I thought for sure You do voice over for You still with Powerpuff Girls I mean Powerpuff Girls was cancelled You were the original were you No I was like I swear I watched that When I was like a kid

Yeah me too it's a great show But yeah I did the reboot of it. And yeah, I do a lot of kids cartoons. And you do commercials. And I do commercials for like, yeah, a prominent insurance company. And I thought for sure they were never going to have me back after the special came out,

but they were so supportive and nice. That's great. That's nice. They were like, we really loved your special. Congratulations. That's great. And that was it. How nice, right? Yeah loved your special. Congratulations. That's great. That was a, how nice, right? Yeah.

How progressive. Yeah. I think so. I think so much is just like coming up. Like you've, you've always been this person coming up. I think when people get in trouble or my theory is that it's when like something surprises people, like out of nowhere, a nude, they drop a nude and then it's a like something surprises people like out of nowhere a nude and then it's a big deal yeah and everyone everyone talks but if it's like that's always

been the case she's always been naked yeah on netflix like there's no way they go yeah yeah do you do you feel ever like you've uh you're like well where do i where do i take it next you've pushed so far yeah in terms of like what, I mean, I know I keep bringing up that possible thing, but like, it's like from there, where, where do you go? I'm like, it's like, what's, what's, what's scary after that? I mean, I definitely like to do stuff that feels risky and like gives me a little bit of an adrenaline rush. Like I, even I'm scared to try it. Um, I think the bit, the kind of scary bit that I'm going to do tomorrow night at Stamptown feels like a little bit new. It's a Buffon piece where,

um, you're kind of meant to be like somewhat scary to the audience. So I like kind of, you know, performing that sort of world. But, um, the, the show I'm working on now is probably the most palatable thing I've ever done. The most commercial piece I've ever made. So maybe I'm like pivoting in that I'm being more. Do you think you are? Well, I think it's just the nature of that show. It's a romantic tragedy. It's the two?

It's the back and forth? Yes, it's the back and forth. So it's a love story. So, I mean, there is some, I guess, risque stuff in it, but nothing compared to like what I did with Nate. Sure. That would be, there's nothing that, um, divisive in it. I don't think. I need this makeup. You ever like it's stuck on the next day. Like you're able to get it off. A hundred, a hundred percent. Yeah, I have a lot of makeup remnants. Especially in Edinburgh, it's just like impossible to get. Everyone thought you had a black eye, just totally.

Yeah, I mean, you just rock it the whole time, the whole month. Someone had a show came up to me and they had a black eye. And you have that urge to be like, are you okay? Yeah, yeah. Is that guy next to you right there? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait. That's just a thought in my head.

Somebody in your audience. Someone came up after and they just had like a very prominent black guy. And it's just a thought of like, is everything cool? Yeah. You do feel like if you ever have a black guy, you have to like explain it. I would feel like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But then you say something and then they go, this is a birthmark. Yeah. And then you go, okay. Oh, right. I have one of those birthmarks on the back of my arm it like i have a bruise kind of all the way down the left side of my arm and uh people i would i would lie to people and tell them like oh yeah my parents are hitting me and then i go just kidding and it's like you're just like lying that's not a good joke or like I told people like this was a suicide attempt.

Oh my God. It's just like not a fun. It's just, you're just lying. It's not a joke. You can't joke about that stuff. Douglas, our friend Douglas had that story. He met a guy and the guy was just like, his thing was, he just lied and be like, I'm kidding. And he'd be like, my name's John.

And then he'd be like, he'd be like, he'd be like, and then he's like, oh no, John, nice to meet you. And he's like, I'm kidding. My name is Steve. And he'd be like he'd be like he'd be like and then he's like oh no john nice to meet you and he's like hey i'm kidding my name is steve and you're like what what like anyways he told us a story and we we thought it's the funniest thing ever yeah and so he wrote a sketch where it was just like oh he's a fan he's meeting his girlfriend's family and they all do this constantly like you want a burger sure i'm making hot dogs again fucking idiot and for some reason it was one of these sketches where we were dying we were dying laughing so hard just being this family that all lies for no reason and we did it at the pit and we do that that first turn the first the first turn of like my name's steve not silence silence and we're like okay well we got four more minutes of this baby no i think it's hilarious sometimes it just happens though you know it feels special to

like as as stand-up comedy where it's like where if you bomb you bomb alone to bomb with a group of people feels it's not fun in the moment but we all died at the end because someone lied about having a peanut allergy or something. Yeah, we all died. I was lying on the ground just looking at someone upstate just dying laughing at how badly this sketch was bombing. We had that one recently too. Are you talking about my dildo one? Yeah. I mean, in rehearsal, we were laughing so hard because he's like, you know, this boss is

whipping us around. Sorry to my editor. I'm sorry you have to censor this. Oh, wait. You don't have to pull it out. You can pull it later. It's okay. Wow. Yeah, that's too... You were saying too tan. But the other is too...

Not you. For a lot of reasons, that's not you. Oh my God. But I mean, yours was three times the size. Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's a big one. There's one time you were tugging on it in the thing, and I was like, it's going to pull off,

and you're in trouble. And then later you do. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. It's super stretchy. And have you ever tried like hitting it on the wall oh we stretched the whole sketch was that this was someone's fidget spinner it was a runner it was a runner and it was a runner it came back twice more and it was just

one of those things and then the third was just me at my dad's funeral and i'm anxious so i pull it out and i whip it around just to silence and And it was, that was a sad day. That was a sad day. Let me just check my watch. Okay. Do your parents ever come see your stuff? My mom is like on board 100%. Yeah.

And she, it's been very cool. Yeah. We've, in the last, I don't know, five years, a lot closer. And it's just into it. And we've we've in the last i don't know five years a lot closer and it's just into it and i i can say hell yeah i can say anything my dad just he just doesn't he just is uh ill or off or something but right the only time i did have a bit where i simulated having an orgasm real brilliant searing thoughtful bit about society and uh he was like he was like the orgasm they went on like a little bit long and i that was his note i was filled with a rage and for a while when i did that bit man i made that orgasm so long yeah i mean oh just three times i was so so

fucking it made me livid don't tell me how to come, dad. But that is how I come. That is how I come. Your parents ever say something to you after a show that made you go, okay. No, no. They're just, they're pretty like, you know. I guess they give Josh Gad a note and they

have to study. They haven't come to a sketch show in a while. So they've come to the theater stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so cool. No, but they haven't come to a sketch show in a while. So they've come to the theater stuff, but no. Yeah, they know. They know. They know. You can't give me, I don't know. I want notes from some people and some people only.

Right, yeah. And you got to give notes at the right time. Yeah. There's always a degree. Yeah. There's just, only like creatives would know where it's like, well, it's done. Yeah. Don't give me notes on the video

sketch i just posted yeah that's done yeah yeah yeah you can't yeah you have to have some awareness yeah yeah yeah have people given you notes on a video sketch after you put it out i can't think of a super specific but like i just know with social media stuff i put a lot out there and sometimes it's just like well well, it's done. Yeah. And if this thing was wrong or if like, oh, I should have tried this. It's like, it's, it's just done. It's like, what is wrong anyway? Sure. I mean, you can look and it gets no likes and you go, well, something, something wasn't right. Yeah. But even if something gets no likes, like sometimes I'll see something on my friend's feed that has whatever, like a hundred likes or something. And I'm like, this is genius.

This is gold. Like the algorithm is not working in their favor. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's just an algorithm thing, or sometimes you'll see something with a bajillion likes and you're like, this is shit. Like it's somebody folding like cans of corn into dough. Well,

my, this has got to stop is, is, um, if we can just go into that. Do you want to do your this has got to stop? Give it a real, really set it up. Okay.

Do you think I get too much context? No, no, here's what you do. You go, you go, my this has got to stop. This is really quick. And then you go into it and I'm like, well, okay. Okay, this has got to stop. These videos that are fake

on Twitter that are used to be, they used to be on Facebook exclusively, but now they come over to Twitter and it's like, you never know what someone's going through. And it's like a man, it's like, it's like a person on a bus. And then they're like,

Oh, I'd like to sit down. And it's so fake. And then the guy stands up and he doesn't have a leg. And they're like, Oh, now we feel bad. And we learned like, it's so fake. And then the guy stands up and he doesn't have a leg and they're like, Oh, now we feel bad. And we learned like,

it's these fake staged videos that are pretending they're pretending and people are interacting like they're real. And, and, but, and the, whoever sharing them is, is sharing them.

Like, it's not a joke. It's not a thing. It's a real thing, but it's so staged and fake. And you look and there's 100,000 likes. You're like, who are these robots liking it?

They're there. They're in parts of this country we don't visit. And they're there and they're loving it. Facebook prank videos, what made it so torturous is people were getting paid

for how long the person watched. So there were all these like, someone about to like sneak out and scare somebody. And they like, they stretch it for 10 minutes they're like yeah and they do it forever and and there's some the problem is is there's some part of me that's like i want to see the thing even knowing it's fake i know there's some like horrible brain thing where you're like i just want to see it yeah and then you forward surely you think you forwarded enough nope there's still seven more but when i watch it i'm i'm thinking of every like there's like four or five people involved and you can't put them together it's not a sketch team it's there's an old man involved

and there's a person without a leg and like you're like how did this happen i know it's fake and i'm so mad about it that people are sharing it and they're like oh like and and um i've just been noticing it so much the last two weeks and i feel like i that used to be a more of a facebook thing and now it's it's over there it's just and then pussy and bio like you know what i mean it's just like the kind you will click and you're like who's who's interacting this and it's no one it's everyone sharing their different things and pussy and bio. And anyways, that's what got stopped. You need real prank. I thought your TSA, did you see I shared it again today?

Your TSA with the spoons. Oh, yes. Thank you for sharing. Can you break it? Tell us what it was. I had, I went through TSA with a bunch of spoons in my pocket and got like patted down and they just kept pulling out a bunch of spoons. and got like patted down and they just kept pulling out a bunch of spoons were they were they do you have you had like different pockets so they're like well this

clearly i had them like all throughout my pants but my friend who is taping she was like kind of shy so there's just like little glimpses but um yeah i had like a ton of i think i had like 20 spoons in my pants but she did get those shot of one tsa agent but why do you have so many spoons yeah and i said i just do a lot of baking that is so funny do you do when you look at like like nathan fielder or like like doing your clowning stuff like two unsuspecting people there's like the theatrical element do you have it in you to do that side of it too? I would love to do that. Yeah, I think it'd be so much fun.

I get so, I did a couple hidden camera shows. What Would You Do on ABC? It's very tame, you know, but it felt, I just was seized with like, I'm lying. I'm lying. I'm so, it's a real tough. I remember for For stand up comedy shows

In the beginning You know some shows I would need to bark You know get people To buy tickets By like talking to them I've been there And I truly like

Gun to my head We have a thing When we reach a Patreon goal I think a thousand Where we're both Yeah Because we're both Not that type

We're both gonna bark In Times Square Whoever barks less He'd have to do Five minutes of stand up comedy comedy on a show and i would have to do something else but we've talked about this yeah i know but i like don't have it in me to conf to talk to strangers i feel so uncomfortable right i feel so anxious yes you could you could well if it's first something really fun but like yeah, when I first moved to LA, had this job selling scam acting classes

and I had that same reaction you did where I was like, I can't do this. And I'd walk up to them and be like, your kid's so cute. Have you ever thought about putting them on TV? You know, I had this whole speech. I had to say they had it written out about how, you know, they've gotten kids on Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and I got kicked out of Costco and Walmart and Kmart.

You just went up to? I had to go up to the families and I got $20 for every family that showed up to the orientation. Now, I felt a little bit better that they didn't have to pay anything to go to the orientation, but I was basically like getting the baits into the shark tank. Yeah. You know. Were you, you ever see a. It was excruciating. Was it, was it like you saw a kid, you made the pitch or were there some kids you were

like, well, this isn't making. I know I do. I would do it to every kid. But honestly, the redeeming part about it was like if it was like a kind of a not a good looking kid, like a not so good looking kid, it kind of made their day. Oh, my God. You know, that I was like, have you ever thought about being on TV? You're so cute. Like they would get their faces with light.

You'd say it directly to the kid? Yeah. It's her job. It's her job. Oh her job oh man that that is stressful i i mean if you would say that to me at that age i would have i would have carried that to the end like i would have i've been like someone once yeah maybe you know i don't know i had i had a job in new york um where i it was an interactive like scavenger hunt and I some people some of the actors got to be like

inside my job was either sitting on the Brooklyn Bridge as a mental patient basically I was supposed to be crazy so like when people came across me I'd have to be like crazy and it's like during the summertime so it's so hot and

people it's packed bridge packed bridge sometimes there's not even there's not even a place to sit and i have like a little box that i was supposed to like give to them and it was so stressful and so i was either doing that or i was on crutches um with a band like a like a bandage around my head and my foot um by the strand bookstore and and like having to like do like a 10 minute monologue to people what did you say like what kind of things no it was like it was a scripted the the strand bookstore is more scripted because it was like the start of the scavenger hunt so it was like i was starting the group off um but i would get in trouble sometimes people the strand would be like this man is a faker. He's like, and I was like, I'm an actor.

I'm in a show. And, but they would think I was scamming tourists. And I was like, no, it's part of a thing. But the, the, the group never got permission from the strand to do this there. And so I, but I did it for like two months and I hated it so much. I had so much anxiety around it. I hated being outside and, and, and I hated being outside and acting in the thing. And finally, and I wasn't doing a good job, I think.

I think I was sending people along too fast because I was just like, get done. Anytime there was people, I was like, go on to the next thing. And the director, whoever was running it, was sending an email like, if you're not serious about this, it's time to get out. And so I got that email that day. And then I texted her being like, I just let you know this is my last day. And she's like, why, Russell, why?

And I was like, you said if we weren't serious. And I was like, I am not serious. I am done. What a bitch, dude. Man, oh man man but it was trying to make you like all scared how fucked up is that i think if i it will one of the other guys was being a dick to me too he was so he's like he was i was i was sending people too fast to him he said it was every 10 minutes and i was looking at my clock and i was stretching things out to make

it 10 minutes yeah and so i was trying to do what he wanted and he he would be like man what are you doing you're sending me too fast and i i just got the sense from this guy he was he was taking up too much time you know and and he was like so you just don't care man so you just don't care and it was like i was dealing with him and this woman and i was like i hate this this is not a real job guys no offense like this is not a real yeah like we're outside we're we're i'm getting in trouble with the bookstore and yeah and and the brooklyn bridge people on the bridge scaring people on the bridge it just was awful well what is this character on the bridge give me a little taste i am i don't even remember the name or the context anymore i truly is like did he have an accent no no one had an accent um uh but it was very stressful

um if i'd been inside because some of the actors got to be inside like in like a private room of a bar like that's a different thing yeah but let me tell you this i like that everyone getting accused of stolen valor someone has to play like an afghan war vet someone in a wheelchair yeah you think any of those kids you picked out is now a big star possibly i mean this was about 11 years ago so it's definitely possible okay and i would say hey let's say yes why why not why not let's one of them was timothy jalme do your pitch i. I'll be the parent. Oh, my God. Oh. Hey.

Hi. I'm so sorry to bother you with your kid. I noticed how cute she is. Thank you. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Have you ever thought about getting her into acting or anything like that? I could see her being on Disney or Nickelodeon or any of those kids shows.

She just has such a beautiful smile. She has school. You're my wife. Oh, okay. Well, she has school. I actually know a really great place that has weekend classes and there's a free orientation

that if you go to it, I get paid $20. Will you please go to it? Money's really tight for us right now. See, I like that honesty, though. I would never say that. She would never. Of course not. I should have.

I should have. I did that when I worked at Toys R Us. People would be looking at toys, and I had 75 cents for any toy I sold. Really? They'd be trying to get me to really bend over backwards. Yeah. And I'd say to them, I'd say, you know, you're either going to buy it or over backwards and I'd say to them I'd say you know you're either going to buy it or not and if you buy it I get 75 cents

so I just would be like because they would be involved in a terrible salesperson they probably appreciated the honesty they did they would go let me give you a dollar and save you some trouble yeah right no but that's how I operated

because I was like I was not gonna like kill myself to like sell a toy for you know it's either you know yeah wow but you know what my pitch to you wasn't accurate to how i did it because i was like very anxious and didn't want to do i felt bad like i was scamming them you know so it was more like hey um your daughter is really cute thank you um have you ever thought about that she could be on disney channel or something do you really think she could maybe you know i was so bad nobody like who are you like what do you work for yeah and then i i would have these flyers and say like like, we offer free orientation.

It costs nothing to go. You got to watch the, it's a documentary called the, I think it's called The Hollywood Complex. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've just met. Depressing. It's so depressing. It stung because those are the kids that I tricked into doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I was trying to. You're in the credits. When they get there, what happens? What's the scam? Like, they get there, it's free. But what then happens? You need headshots. And my husband has a big headshot photographer. They get roped into like, they get roped into,

they just get scammed into like buying all these classes and headshots and stuff like that. And they get promised big things. Where are you being sent out to, to find these people? Just like the outskirts of Los Angeles, Pomona, like the mall in pomona do you have like certain places that they'd actually send you or on your own yeah yes they would send it they would send us out so there was a squad of us and they would assign us different

targets and walmart so that we didn't overlap yeah oh man that's that is brutal that's brutal that's brutal i i my first up there with that was my first job in New York Was a door-to-door salesman For knives? No, for charity Oh And it was It was It was

I mean Real charity though Yeah, but it was this thing where Charity hires A marketing company Yeah And so you're But the hours are crazy

You're going out from 11 a.m. To like 8 p.m. Yeah Monday And so you're, but the hours are crazy. You're going out from 11 AM to like 8 PM Monday through Friday. You're getting paid like $75 a day. And then, and then like plus, uh, if you get like, if you sold over six, like subscriptions the week,

you'd get like a $25 for each additional one. So like max, you're making like $400 a week with, you know, it was like, it was insane. And it was so, Oh man,

the people you, I mean, I went to, it was, I only worked there for three months, but I went to every borough and like was just going into buildings. And people would be shocked. People,

you just, because you, you would lie. people how's it going in here you just because you you would lie you would say you're usbs or you'd you would buzz in and go into their buildings can you imagine wow i was like getting yelled at by everyone chased out like it was oh russell oh man oh man we do a whole thing on that that was a you might beat me at this parking for tickets thing then i feel like you have more experience i've had jobs oh whoa sick burn i was a singing waiter for a whole center were you i was thank you for asking about my job uh yes i was it was called i would have loved to see that it was i i don't know how bad i it's hard to know if it was torture Yeah

I mean at the time I thought I was like crushing Give us a tune Oh god How many tunes did you have in the rep? Probably three or four It was like you know On the street where you live And Joey, Joey, Joey

Joey, Joey, Joey Wow Look at that timbre And then you'd finish the song And they'd say where's the food And you'd say you saw me sing You saw me there doing it So no one was interested in the singing

Joey That was great Are you a singer too? I'm going to start saying yes I love singing I love it I'm a singer I'm a singer The other day

There was someone I'm a singer There was someone in LA There was someone in LA They came to a show And they were like Do you do acting And I was like

I don't even know If I like Even like acting anymore And they were like Oh because there's a movie That I thought you'd like Be right And I was like

Immediately I was like I was like But I can't wait To get back in the weeds Of discovery And I was like Oh yeah I have to wait to get back in the weeds of discovery. And then I was like, oh, yeah, I have to pretend. Okay, one quick story from the Netflix thing. I told you this, but I did a show Leslie Jones was hosting,

and they threw me on it. Wow. And she was – that wasn't a brag. But I came up. It was a big outdoor show. And so it was like not ideal circumstances for a show. And I said, hey hey how'd the show go she was off stage

about to bring it on she goes oh it's you know it's okay I mean you know we didn't really it's like we didn't get a good lineup for this one

and oh I mean like like we didn't get Chappelle or like Jon Stewart I'm like but it was so it was so funny oh my god

we didn't get a good lineup We didn't get a good lineup We didn't get a good lineup for this one And I was like No you know But it is you I'm like I'm closing out the show And it is me And

Oh That is brutal Leslie Come on dude Leslie Leslie J At least you know she's honest Mmhmm

Yeah Very honest Yeah Very honest Do Very honest. Do you have a This Gotta Stop? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was writing them earlier and this one is stupid. I thought cars have gotta stop.

Okay. Because if they don't stop, you could hit somebody or, you know, you could hit an animal or, you know, cause an accident. So cars. Page star producer, could you add a couple descriptors next time you send the email for this?

Put in parentheses, not literally. Cars do have to stop though. Okay. That's why we have stop signs. They have to stop. And so planes also have to stop. This is the whole list.

Bikes need to stop. And motorcycles. Boulders. Boulders. Yeah. Even like joggers need to stop. Yeah. You know, if there's a stop sign or like a don't walk sign.

Oh, okay. This corn syrup in Coca-Cola only in the USA. Every other country. Every other country has real sugar in their Coca-Cola. Is that true? Except for the USA and the Food and Drug Administration. Not to get too real with this. I know it's real, but I'm like, why does the FDA not care about us?

Every other food and drug administration in every other country cares about what goes in into their citizens food. And we get all the, we get the short end of the stick every time. So people can save a buck. Is it because of corn syrup? Like, is it big corn syrup?

That's like corn. It's big corn. It's big corn. It's big corn. You know what though? And I'm pretty sure Tova told me this. With Passover, there's a, there's, if a Coke has a yellow cap, I hope I'm getting this right. It is kosher for Passover, which means they're using sugar instead of corn syrup.

Because corn syrup is next to the bread. And God once said no. And so, so it's, it's there. Oh, thank you Passover Every time I go to I mean I went to Europe last year And I The breakfast at the hotels

Yeah It was like It was a different world I was a smorgasbord And I Like I They had honeycombs Fresh from the thing

Yeah Different meats And you think about like What like an okay breakfast Is at a hotel in America Yeah I haven't done with america i'm fucking done oh my god the food i just think talk about having kids i'm like i'm like you you

can't yeah think about like what would i feed them like this fucking shit and garbage in america oh my god i don't know it's too bad i don't know any other languages yeah and why don't i know them because america only taught me two fucking options. Yeah. French. And then what did I take high school? Latin. Oh. I don't need that shit. Cripes.

For what? Is Coke really better with sugar? Oh, my God. I mean, it tastes better. And it's just easier for your body to process. So, apparently. I mean, all my stuff, guys, I don't know if you know this, I'm kind of an alternative health freak, which is a little bit embarrassing. Like I have coffee enemas.

I have shot ozone into my vein. Ozone? Ozone gas. Yeah. What does that do? It oxidizes bad cells in your body. Okay. We're going to take your word for that.

Yeah. What do you mean a coffee enema? What does that mean mean you shoot coffee up your ass it's like a pouch it's meant to cleanse your liver it's meant to detox you it's uh i have one you can get it in different systems but i have a glass bottle with silicone tubing attached to like a basketball pump and i fill the jug. It's like a two quart jug with medium roast organic coffee cooled down to body temperature. You don't want to burn anything up there. And then you pump it up there. You hold it for 15 minutes

and it's a good detox for your system. And you haven't had sex since 2022? Yeah, probably because I'm getting satisfied in other areas do you just you you lie on your your stuff you hold you lie on a towel i mean sometimes it's like not a pretty sight like i've definitely like is it ever a pretty sight well sometimes you can hold it really well yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you hold it and there's no spillage. But like, yeah, I've had times where like the towel is just drenched. Yeah, I believe it.

Yeah. You get caffeinated? You get a nice little buzz? You get a little buzz. But, you know, you're making a watered down coffee. It's like six tablespoons for two quarts or something like that. Six tablespoons of coffee. But I would have never,

I was not obsessed with health stuff at all, but I had a mystery illness starting in 2016 and it was undiagnosed for four years. So I got into all this weird stuff. And so- And it's now, you figured it out later though? I figured it out four years later. Lyme disease.

They said, oh, it's clearly the coffee you keep shooting up here. It was chronic Lyme. It was chronic Lyme. It was chronic Lyme. Lyme disease. Lyme disease. Really? Take-borne illness.

Yeah. And that's another thing we got to stop is doctors need to stop not testing people for Lyme disease when they have mystery illnesses. I've had so many friends in the Lyme community go undiagnosed for years and years and years, And they have all these mystery symptoms and doctors are like, well, maybe I had so many doctors tell me it was allergies or stress. Yeah. I have rashes all over my body. I'm getting the flu like symptoms all the time.

They're like, you're working too hard. You know, he's not working too hard. Those doctors. Yeah. I'm getting, I'm getting increasingly skeptical of all doctors.

It's not good. Cause who are you going to rely on? But like I recently, like I was trying to get like a sleep medication for a long flight. And, and my doctor had the audacity to say, Oh, you struggle with sleep. Have you tried giving yourself permission to go to sleep?

And I wanted to murder this man. I wanted to murder him. What does that mean? Permission? You're like, are you fucking kidding me? It was crazy that he said it to me with a straight face, and I was mad. You should have slapped him.

You should have slapped him. I should have slapped him. Taken off your glove. Oh, my God. Every doctor's talking to you in a way where you can see that they don't want to get sued someday, so they're talking to you in this vague fucking maybe, maybe, maybe, and they won't give you anything straight. Did you try it, though?

Did you say, I give myself permission? I did, and it worked well. It's incredible. The whole time, I guess, Did you say, I give myself permission? I did and it worked. It's incredible. The whole time, I guess in my head, I kept going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not allowed. You're a bad boy. Wait, guys, sorry to bring it back to the simulation thing. Tell me about the simulation. Okay, so this, like what you're talking about, like giving yourself permission.

So I was talking with a cashier about this simulation article and he told me that actually he was reading an article about the simulation and that there are cheat codes that you can say to yourself as a mantra to fix like problems in your life. And there was this Buddhist monk who like mantra'd away pneumonia with this cheat code. And it me think okay if we are in a simulation i bet the programmers of our simulation had us playing sims as like a sick little way to be like you don't even realize you're playing yeah yeah we're playing the game that you're playing but for real you stupid bitch yeah and then that made me think what if the cheat code to getting whatever we want in our lives is rosebud, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point,

exclamation point, exclamation point. What if we just have to say that and we get as much money as we want? Like in Sims. You guys know what I'm talking about? The cheat code in Sims? I didn't know that was the cheat code. I didn't know that was the cheat code in Sims. You guys didn't know that's the cheat code in Sims.

But now it's. Okay. So, okay. With your simulation. So then are we in a, are we in a brain in a vat, as they say? Are we a thing? Are we the simulation? Are we a brain hooked up to electrodes?

Is it the matrix? Did they get it right? I think it's just a bigger human each time. they get it right i think it's just um a bigger human each time so like i think the sims that we're playing there's like little people inside that and then there's even a bigger dude playing us on a computer yeah and then even people in the sims are like and even us talking kind of sucks even us talking about that is them being like a little like yeah you know they're like it's kinky there let's let them get real close how do you play the sims yeah yeah yeah exactly like yeah does this bring you comfort

the simulation idea not at all i don't like it but sometimes something so kismet happens that i'm like there's no way there's no way this would happen unless somebody's pulling the strings somewhere. Like something, you ever have something so serendipitous happen that you're like, I do, but what do you think when something like that happens? I think about all the people who were

eaten by a bear and I go, they didn't get the serendipity and I think I did. But like when the bear was eating them, I don't think they were like, this is crazy. I'm one of the ones. This is,

this is, this is the simulation. I think they were thinking, ah, ah. And I think, I think it's a wishful thinking to in those moments. So I go,

I go cool. And I feel, I feel the thing. I think that's more right. I think that's more right i think that's right oh that's crazy and i stop it right there yes okay yeah yeah but isn't it fun yeah isn't it fun to get kind of like weird yeah like what if it was you know yeah what about you russell what do you think like when something serendipitous happens? I, you know, I don't think I go full. I think I'm in between the two of you. Yeah.

I can be drawn into a fun conspiracy though real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I love this thing and I'm like, sure. I can partially be in it, but then I'll still be like, I don't really believe in anything. So I don't know. I feel, I do feel like sometimes though, it feels like there's weird glitches where I'm like,

it feels like something happened where it was a mistake. Like it was not, this wasn't supposed to be the track that's supposed to be happening right now. Sure. And it feels like that right in the world right now. Sometimes things happen where you're like, like, when you got cast in that Broadway show,

I said, something happened. Something went wrong. But I don't show, I said, something happened. Must be a wrong situation. Something went wrong. There's a glitch. There's a glitch. But I don't believe it, but I'm like, that's fun. It is fun, yeah. I'm like, it's fun to think about, you know?

Also, something that really fucks in my head, I think we've talked about this, is the idea of, I read somewhere once, and now I think about it the time is that anytime a civilization grows uh with enough knowledge to um oh god now I'm forgetting it to discover yeah alien life form um they've already it's too late they're going to destroy themselves like in some sort of way because they just they just know too much you're saying that that uh if we tell me if wrong like one of the theories of why i thought the theory of why we don't see aliens in general is that once a species gets intelligent enough it destroys itself inherently yes and so like you know there's a degree of with like when we talk about ai spreading misinformation or social media and

it's just like there's something inherent in our dna that we that's what destroy ourselves yeah we destroy ourselves and as fascism takes over america it's hard not to feel that tickling you yeah as they holy shit as they show signs at the sports stadiums that if you have a sign saying free palestine they'll arrest you you go oh my god yeah and then all the ai stuff and you're like, wait a minute. The robot dogs. It feels like we're going to destroy ourself before, you know, and yeah. Wow. I mean, that's, that seems right.

I also, so I got into super into alien stuff during COVID, like just watching a bunch of alien documentaries and stuff. Sure. I love it. And this one guy's theory, I forget his name, is that the aliens are waiting for us to be more okay with them. They don't want to come when we're ready to attack. Right now, we've been fed all these movies and stuff that say aliens are dangerous, and they don't feel safe contacting us, but that they watch us from a close distance. What do you guys think about that?

I love that. Based on the way that we treat every animal on earth, I don't think we want anything smarter than us to ever visit us because we have shown that they will consume us. And I'm sure there's parts of us that are mighty tasty to an alien mouth. But I love the idea of if they're out there,

they're just kind of coming in once in a while, zipping around, doing physics things that we can't do. Yeah. Just checking things out. Just pranksters. But they're not amongst us. I don't feel that they're amongst us right now. Oh, really?

Well, that's because you didn't meet Hillary Clinton in person. I don't feel like they're in a suit. A skin suit. I don't feel that. I think that they fly around and maybe they land sometimes and they observe yeah but i don't think that they are are like are like leaders or anything like yeah costume right right except for hillary maybe yeah well she's a robot my cynical podcast has gone off the rails we're living in a simulation aliens are real and this is all serendipity uh my this has got to stop i'll

keep it this is a sometimes people talk they say the word content and and or like a content creator and they go like you just make content or whatever and i go like the world that you before people made their own thing all that was was people making content but the people who were deciding to release it were a bunch of old fucking white guys who ran all the tv networks and there's made their own thing all that was was people making content but the people who were deciding to release it were a bunch of old fucking white guys who ran all the tv networks and there's this belief of like there was this idealism and i'm like of what it used to be and i'm like no it's just other people deciding yeah now some people they press post themselves and yeah maybe there's too much of it but there's like this idealization of like what it used to be.

And it's like, no, there was a time where Lorne Michaels got to decide all the comedy. And now it's just some of the comedy. And so there's just this like frustration or cynicism about the world of creativity and everyone releasing stuff. And there's frustrations to be had and to share, but it's just some version of like, ugh, people making things. And I'm like, people used to make things and then share, but it's just some version of like, ugh, people making things.

And I'm like, people used to make things and then people who you never saw decided what went out there. Yeah, you never got to see it. It's a blessing to get to see all the shit that people make. And there's just some, we lend some kind of authenticity to the people chosen in the TV network thing. And you're like, well, who got that?

Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. So that's my discussion. I was chosen. He's a chosen one. Yeah. He believes it.

He believes in serendipity. Let's go on to our final segment. You Better Count Your Blessings. You better count your blessings. Yes. Better count your blessings Yes I want to give you, before I forget It was, oh my god Your birthday wasn't too long ago And I keep forgetting, it's a little bit late now

You're no longer in the Broadway show But I always criticize Russell He doesn't take voice lessons And he's a Broadway star Wow And he was struggling with his voice He was just losing his voice For one week

So I got Per my Broadway friend All the things That you need for vocal care That is so nice I got you I got you this sinus nailer Oh my god, DeMarco

This is like a real thing And then it's a real thing And then Natalie Our friend who's in Wicked Told me all the things These are what the Broadway people use Wait, I need pictures This is a vocal

A vocal mist DeMarco And the containers for it Very nice I'm gonna need pictures of all this stuff This is so generous And so for your next Broadway show I want you to have all the things

Do you have an announcement? I haven't gotten Tova hasn't contacted me yet No, I have no I have no news But I But I, you know These are the things that

Thank you Oh my God That's so nice Well, that's my blessing I truly This was on my um um amazon like cart oh is it really well i like just you know you keep things that you're like if i do get another show this is something you have a very sad broadway amazon cart it's always filled but

there is a thing like there was a feeling of being left out uh doing the shows everyone would have them and i'd be like. Oh, everybody has these? Yeah, and you'd be like for a while you're like, I don't need that. And then at a certain point you're like, everyone's doing it. I would like to feel what it's like. They call you straight.

Yeah. Wow. This is so nice. Thank you, Jambus. You're such a good friend. You're such a good friend. Listen, I'm happy to give gifts when I am filming it You're like, I waited over a month To get the right moment That's so kind

You're welcome My blessing I've been doing My openers on the road Liam Nelson helped me film that thing Finally, I've been doing shows for so long now And so constantly i'm finally starting to mix it up a little and try to play with them and so we we tried this thing i always joke with them i'm like you know when the this won't be funny for anyone but when the bridge collapsed in baltimore i was

like what if you went out there and your whole set you talked about the bridge for 10 minutes you just riffed yeah i would never force my openers to do that. Yeah. But I was like one day we were in Boston on Friday. I was like, wouldn't it be funny if like you did have to do what we joked. What if you had to do Jim Gaffigan's hot pocket routine in its entirety during your set?

And then we were like, Oh, but what if we all had a challenge to do for our sets? And so for the last show in Boston, we, we got to choose each other's thing and so like for the opener he had to at some point in the set go hot pocket he had to go uh i get no respect no respect at all and then i ain't scared of you motherfuckers for me there was a curtain on stage and they said i had to use it like fully for three bits and then for for liam i picked his i said you have to lie it like fully for three bits. And then for Liam, I picked his.

I said, you have to lie down all the way on your back until a full joke, set up and punchline, fully laying down. And like it's one of those things I was like, oh, we'll do it the next time we're together. And then I was like, no, no, let's do it now. And so we did it for the late show on Saturday. And it didn't ruin the show. That was the thing. I never want to ruin the show for the people who came for stand up. Right. Yeah't ruin the show. That was the thing. I never want to ruin the show for the people who came for standup.

Right, yes. But we did it. Yeah, a little fun thing. And then at the end, I told the audience what we had done like in the closer and they applauded. It was fun.

Yeah. And just to have, especially when the two of them are opening together, they're old friends. Like it makes me feel braver in doing things and they support it. They're like g makes me feel uh braver in doing things and they support

it they're like gung-ho to do it yeah uh and uh i just appreciate kind of having people willing to do that kind of thing i'm sure yeah i'm sure next thing we know we'll you know dicks out for one set or something crazy and we'll go too far and then have to scale back but for now it's fun yeah it made me feel it just it made me feel i was like i wasn't thinking about my set i was just like here's something fun i was backstage i was laughing for the first half years and so it's just like going through all the stuff you need to remember you just get to relax sit into it and that's what i think again the the is too much fawning but but i think like watching it just felt like an unlocked thing of like i was like oh yeah i i literally worked hard to be able to have my own stage for the night yeah

and it's like oh i can decide to do the thing here yeah and i can it's it's up to me what I want to do and where I want to push it. And, yeah, especially once you start getting people there, you start feeling that feeling of like, well, I am the reason that the people are here, so I can fuck around a little bit. Exactly. They want to see you fuck around too. That makes it special.

They want to see you fuck. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt doesn't hurt yeah do you have a blessing i do i had a few blessings i wrote down so many things i'm grateful for and something oh man i guess this is maybe the most fun one like having small conversations with strange people yeah like sometimes you just run into like a real weirdo on the street and you guys ever like get into it with like a do you

had an uber driver when you said she got through to you and you had a great conversation they did but i don't think she was that strange oh sure um but i i know what you mean like a very small like wow what and you're like so curious about their everyday life, but just a glimpse. Yeah. Or just like talking to different characters or having them share something like really personal or special with, I don't know, like having, yeah, it's just fun to interact with people. I feel like so much of our lives are online that I feel like it's a gift to share like

a small interaction with somebody. And you brought up an Uber driver a couple of weeks ago when I was in New York, actually, I got into a conversation with my Uber driver and I was like, what, what's your passion or like, what's your dream? And he was like, Oh, you're going to think it's farfetched. And I was like, no, no, tell me like nothing could surprise me. And he was like, well, I thought of it when I was really young and you're going to laugh. And I was like, I won't. Tell me. And he's like, okay, I want to get a woman pregnant in every single country. I thought of it when I was really young. You're going to think I'm crazy.

Oh, my God. I was like, okay, yeah, I do think that is far-fetched and like why has he started and i actually do so much work yeah every country i felt continent for a second i was like well maybe you could is he doing anything to like get himself there right now no no do you think you bring it up when you try to proposition like do you say hey i just did germany and france oh my god trying to get portugal on here that is so funny i mean like that's beyond like fucking somebody in every country like it takes you know sometimes people really have to try to get pregnant yeah keep having to go back to south korea just like fuck yeah yeah oh a good uber driver though yeah they reveal yeah sometimes people get really

vulnerable yeah like when you just meet them and yeah i think it's a blessing to like yeah hear people's like unique experiences um my dive but didn't my friend marla told me a story one time and i always think of it in terms of like a weird interaction with someone she was at a grocery store and when she was in college and she was getting groceries and one of the things was yogurt and the cashier goes huh so this is yogurt like and like that i think about once a week. What? So this is yogurt. What? Like a cashier at a grocery store. Oh my God. Oh man. Jesus.

They had never seen yogurt come across their conveyor belts before. Yeah. And they got to try it. Yeah, hopefully. I think it's great. Yeah. That's a good That's enough line

You can start a character out of that Yeah Just to justify how that came to be Yeah Wow So where can people find you? People can find me on Do people call it X now?

We keep saying Twitter He yells at me when I say X But yeah I think Twitter we say. People can find me on, that's what I say still. I'm like, it's Twitter. It sounds better. Yeah. You can find me on Twitter at.

When you put X into Russell's browser, it is not going to Twitter. I'll tell you that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got to type it in a few times to get it to go there. You can find me on Twitter at NatDogCatDog With a K Or on Instagram At Natalie Pelamides And

You can see my live shows Sometime If you want Please come Thanks so much for having me Of course Russell where could we find you? Instagram

At Russell J. Daniels Anything coming up? Nope For the listeners Join the Patreon Patreon.com Slash Downside at Russell J. Daniels. Anything coming up? Nope. For the listeners, join the Patreon. Patreon.com slash downside. We're recording one next week, and I got a little treat at the end of it.

What is it? You'll see. And I just wanted to... Someone gave me, after the Boston show, fan mail for the two of us. So I just want to see if it says, it says, love you guys. That is nice. That's a nice card.

Oh my God. Whoa. It's foldy and interactive. it's okay. Let me read it. It says, love you guys. Here you go.

Never thought I'd buy tickets to a comedy show, uh, or wish I was a theater kid. Oh, that's sweet. Uh, uh, oh my God.

Oh, here we go. I did the wrong way. Jamarco and Russell. What the fuck? sweet. Aw. Oh, my God. You did the wrong order. I did the wrong way. Jamarco and Russell. What the fuck? Okay. Okay, this card's fucked. This is incredible.

Okay. Love you guys. Thanks for making me laugh so hard. I choked on popcorn while driving. You're welcome. I never thought I'd buy tickets to a comedy show or wish I was a theater kid, but here we are. Aw. Oh, and before that, and for keeping me good company

while I move six wall hangings. And it's her making a carpet saying, lololololol, I think they're pretty good. Love you guys. Thank you so much. That's so sweet. Thank you, Eliza. We appreciate it.

Thank you, Eliza. And Hillary Clinton, did you enjoy that episode? Yes. Okay, this is The Downside. Yes. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.