The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #215 Floor Ice Cream with Rachel Coster

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

Rachel Coster (host of @boyroomshow) joins to share the downsides of cancel culture, why minimum wage workers deserve to be happy, the anthropological experience of visiting someone’s home, making hot guys mad, the problem with having a doctor with ADHD to treat your ADHD, and why going to sleep early doesn’t make you a better person. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Rachel on Instagram, TikTok, & Twitter Follow Boy Room on Instagram & TikTok Come to Rachel's 9 AM comedy show in NYC on June 30 For everything else, visit https://linktr.ee/rachelcoster & https://rachelcoster.com/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Get tickets to our live podcast recordings! July 1 | NYC: https://www.showclix.com/event/the-downside-with-gianmarco-soresi-live July Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hello, Debbie Downsiders. This is Joe Marco. You know that. I don't need to say it. We're getting to the episode. All I want to say is July 1st in New York City, we are having our final live downside taping before Russell and I do our little East Coast tour. And if you live in

New York, Jersey, anywhere, you can travel. It's at 7 p.m., and it's just our last chance to kind of run through some new segments, make these live shows really good. And we just found out that the special guest for a small 20-minute segment or so is the lovely Tova Silberman, who will be talking to us about kosher things. What is kosher? How isher things. What is kosher? How is kosher? Why is kosher? And the journey of no longer being kosher.

So come on by. Who knows? Maybe I can convince her to eat a piece of bacon. Check it out. If you're near, July 1st, 7 p.m. Tickets will be in the description, in the comments, and everywhere. And if you haven't gotten tickets yet, come to the live tour. We're going to D.C., Philly, Boston, and a big show in New York.

Thank you for listening. There's that show, August of Sage County, where the dad is in the first 15 minutes. Oh, yeah. And then he's on the rest of the show. It's a three-and-a-half-hour play. Jesus. And when I went and saw it, I noticed he didn't take a bow. And I was like, that's an amazing contract. That guy goes, has to be there for half an hour,

does the first 15 minutes, gets a great monologue, and then leaves. And he's done by like, you know, 7.15. You don't think that, does he ever go, I want some applause. I'm sure for like opening night or like if there's going to be a party afterwards I'm sure he stays some nights. Probably can go and come back, you know?

It's incredible when you're younger to be like, oh, this is my dream. And then you get to an age where you're like, I want to experience my dream as little as humanly possible. Yeah, definitely. And just like make as much money off of it. For those of you at home, no, we do not have a horse on the podcast today. That is

Russell eating carrots on the mic. Yeah, we're recording. We're here with our sub-producer David doing a great job. Doing a great job. I'm here

with my co-host, Russell Daniels. And I should have said, Koster, yeah? Yeah, yeah. We're here with a comedian, Rachel Koster. We'll get to you in a second. We just announced the tour two episodes ago now, but they're still on sale.

Get the tickets. I'm really excited. Get those tickets. Goddamn, I'm scared. Some of these rooms are too big. Too big. Too big. I was like, this is the smallest

room. 250 seats? We have 50 listeners. Bring friends. Four friends each, please. Baltimore, Boston, D.C. Oh, fuck. Yeah. And New York. Toronto is selling real well, I gotta

tell you. Wait, when is Toronto? It's not on the books. Oh. I'm saying we should add it to Toronto. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, the horror. I was like, what? Well, this is a place, if you've never been here before,

it's a place to complain. It's a place to be negative. It's a place. You know what's been interesting? I got to say, in past global tragedies countrywide tragedies we with social media we did a thing

of like how are you gonna you're gonna post about your clips right now like I feel like especially during like Black Lives Matter

there was a degree yeah and I think I think we without discussing it have all agreed that we can just intermingle yeah dumb's no there's no

separation with some of the most tragic posts of all time and i now i i don't know if that's good it's all bad totally but we had to it's just social media had to go on i think it was too it was too because then what would happen is you'd be like okay we're measuring the tragedies like this tragedy gets more time than other tragedies and now it's a little like it's just unsustainable like life has to be both i mean it doesn't have to be but like the good sorry for jumping in but the good stuff like you need some good stuff otherwise the bad stuff is like so crushing that you would just never leave bed so it's like you can hold space for the stuff that's so horrible and also be like, it's a really nice day out

and I want to have a good time with my friends. It's just brutal. It's just brutal the contrast where it'll be like, it'll be like, you know, a post of like, Israel kills 130 Palestinians. And then the next slide is speaking of, 130 tickets still left for my show. That's bad, yeah. That's scary. tickets still left for my show that's bad

don't do that but I'm saying like it's so close to each other that it's like sometimes I'm like oh wait a couple hours before I try to push the fourth Toronto show but it's just you can't control it

yeah because then when people are looking at it they're not seeing it always that far out. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're not checking your things right away in real time. I save it for later. You save it for later? Every time you post, save it for later. I got to watch John Marcos at the end of the day.

That's the best stuff. That's my treat before bed. But in a way, it's like, I don't know what it is. It's like it's either tragedies with commercials of my stand-up or stand-up with commercials of the most brutal it's no different than the news they have commercials still you know sure sure so yeah uh i speaking of just brutal tragedy i um so i was in baltimore i did some shows in baltimore and i went to this museum, uh, called, it's called the great blacks in wax museum. And it's, it's, uh, I was just curious. It sounded like a different museum than normal. And it's like a wax museum that really just goes through the black experience from, from being

brought to America as slaves. And then like all the way through, you know, it's just one of these museums. It starts brutal and it's, it's brutal throughout, but at the end there's a little, there was Obama on a stage and you go, okay, good. Yeah. But it was one of the most, there's not going to be a lot of comedy here. I can see everyone's scared. Everyone's just terrified. But it was, it was such a good museum that I can't believe they didn't bring me to having

grown up in Maryland where it was like, ask, please. I think the name is misleading. It's a funny name. Yes, it's too whimsical for the seriousness of the history. Yeah, I think that that is probably misleading people. It's not getting its full due. But you know what I think? Good.

I think it is, honestly. Oh, you want people to be tricked. I think there is a degree of good. And you hear wax. And when I think wax, I think- We, honestly. Oh, you want people to be tricked. Yeah, okay. I think there is a degree of like, good. And you hear wax. And when I think wax, I think- We think of the celebrities, Madame Tussauds. And this is like the first thing that's in wax that you see is like two white people force feeding someone who was their slave. And it's like this right out the gate.

And there is a, there is a, and I promise we'll, we'll lighten it up after this, but I just wanted to. Yeah. Russell's one of these. Slavery wasn't real. I,

I, at one point there is, there's a recreation of a slave ship and I did hit my head on the door going in and I was like, well, I better keep this one to myself. Yeah. As far as suffering in the door going in and I was like, well, I better keep this one to myself. As far as suffering in the slave ship goes.

God, I got to stop doing that. Who built this? Oh, right. My bad. But it was like, it's one of these museums where it makes me think about it in terms of what's going on with Palestine and the degree of and I checked your Twitter before I fully let myself speak freely yeah yeah yeah

listen it's not with all the guests apparently not with all the guests apparently the closest I've ever felt to censorship is conversations with certain guests previous and wanting to scrub them from the roster. It makes me so mad. But it's this degree of like, I feel like it's the same thing where people go, oh, what's happening is awful.

And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. That's not, saying that sentence is not enough. And it's the same thing. I mean, with slavery, there's a degree of like, I know it was awful. And it's like, you, you don't, you should. That caveat is used to then like be like for the period or be like a but like, like it's, it's, it's, it's just meant to be like, yeah, there's always a but afterwards or the feeling of a but we're like okay like yeah it's just the idea of like you can say like you should be forced to confront to at least read about like what it is is being spoken of and and honestly being in this museum it made me go like it made you think about like the depictions

of of slavery in in movies or the lack of depiction in in like hamilton or whatever and you're like that's crazy that it's ever not shown in its full brutality because it's so, even me knowing that it's very, very bad. It's like reading a passage, you truly are shocked and you go, oh, the people who need to go to this museum will never go to this museum. But you're like like there's no one in america particularly no one in america who's white who shouldn't go to this kind of museum or a realistic museum yeah that actually talks about it and then the concept of like like like oh but be nice about the founding father keep the statue up yeah it feels incomprehensible if you actually if you actually take it yeah it's like insane why do we care that much about it i

just don't get the funny father thing to uphold white supremacy yeah like that that's why it's like in every textbook like you learn all that stuff and you're like you're supposed to hold it in reverence because it upholds white supremacy it tells you that this is important and this is the stuff that you need to know about and the other stuff is less important and you don't need to know it's just like a way to be like and um i don't know anything i don't know how religion could survive this museum because you like so there's one floor where you go in um the bottom like you go downstairs and there's like a warning and and this museum really isn't like it doesn't have a lot of pretenses.

It's not like overly shiny or everything. It's just, and there's a piece of paper. It's like no unaccompanied minors down here. And it's about lynching. It's like, that's the whole exhibit down there. And you see these awful pictures of the people taking photos at the lynchings because it was a gathering and uh i was talking to a great great comedian leclerc andre last night because he grew up in baltimore and he was saying

and i can't even explain what the origin of the word picnic is actually brutal and dark and it revolved around really revolved around lynchings and you're like you just you go like how how is this not covered how is this like of course uh uh older people don't appreciate or they go well it was a long time ago and you're like not even close if it was a it was thousands of years ago it would still be relevant it's so really good museum i i i think they should have charged me on the way out because i would have paid whatever yeah whatever i would have paid 40 acres and a mule i'd say here you go that's a historical reference no i know i know you're just like i don't know what to laugh at right now but it's a good museum it was a really good museum and it was like uh

you should go. Do you want to go back? When we go to Baltimore? Based on the conversation we just had, I don't know if riffing on this at the live show in D.C. is going to be great. Maybe second time round, you'll think of some more jokes to pepper it along the way. But this is The Downside.

One, two, three. Downside. Downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. Once again, this is The Downside. This is a place where we can be honest.

We can complain. We can moan. It's not all historically based. It can be fun and fluffy. We're here with Rachel Koster. Let me just say real quick, if you're a fan, join the Patreon. Patreon.com slash downside. We are almost at 500.

And when we do, Russell and I are recording a musical theater duet in a professional studio. So Patreon.com slash downside. Check out the live dates for the tour. We also have one more tryout of our live show on July 1st. So Rachel Koster. What are your thoughts on cancel culture? Well, I think that it's important to hold people responsible for stuff if they do bad stuff. I think the fear of being canceled is making people like eviler somehow because i

think i think it's important to like have some sort of path to like uh redemption otherwise people just kind of double down on what makes them so evil i'm shocked you're answering sincerely oh yeah sorry i like you asked and i guess i wish i had a funnier answer but i do think that like it's important to um i think that people's hearts are becoming extremely calloused. And when you tell them that you hate them because they said something evil, which, like, that's a, like, normal response. But it also, like, sometimes isn't helpful to, like, actually making them change or become

better. And so not everyone has to be, like, kind to evil people. But, like, anyone who is close to people who are like inflicting harm or pain on others it's like hey like i love you legit but you are like saying stuff that's making me so angry yeah or just you're hurting people i don't think it is uh i was thinking about this recently i think it is you i don't know like when you're interacting with someone and they say something that is shocking in a way of like lacking any empathy or sort of thing. And you're like, where do I even, how is there a conversation?

How do I, when you're saying you don't actually care about huge swaths of the population and and have no desire to blah blah blah like i don't happen to me the other day where that guy he was saying he was talking about you know uh israel retrieved four hostages but you know 200 were killed and just randomly this guy he said he's like he's like yeah they people were complaining about they killed 200 uh people are called enemy combatants and i'm like there's something so deep where i'm like if you think those 200 people were complaining about they killed 200 people called enemy combatants and i'm like there's something so deep where i'm like if you think those 200 people were enemy combatants like i don't even know if it's worth me having a conversation with you i don't online and they can as a starting point there's no starting there's nowhere to start yeah where do you go where do you how do you have a productive thing because then what happens is you don't and you don't.

And you, cause you in your head are like, I know I'm not going to get anywhere with this person. But then this really bad thing happens where then you're like, you're I'm clocking in my head, all those kinds of people and all those things. And it, it, it distance. I'm like, I don't really like, there's a list of people now where I'm like,

I don't really have it. You're walking down the street. You're crossing back and forth, back and forth just to avoid people. I know, but like, there's a thing where you're like, I don't, I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what to, like, there's a great sadness of like, oh, you, you don't have empathy for like this, for huge swaths of people in the world. Well, that's how I felt.

I was working, uh, I don't give a shit. I, I, I, I, you know, there was someone working at a comedy club that I work at a lot. And this was before the current conflict was highlighted in the way that it is. And this person just posts a lot of transphobic stuff online. And, you know, they lean into like the daily wire of it all. And I'm not going to fish for his name. But it was one of those things where i was like i'm just gonna not talk to this person and every time i saw them i just avoided them and

if i sometimes once i went off stage and they gave me a fist bump it was dark and i gave him the fist but i was like oh no but part of it is and we're both not confrontational people but it's like you should feel shitty or confronted about your views because that's the only way for you to isolated in them or it's like this hard thing where it's like when people are isolated and feel like they're not part of like community or aren't loved or whatever then they become angry and they're hateful sure it's like how do you avoid that ever starting and it like really well i think it's part of that apollo is forgiveness it's like starts with like- Well, I think it's part of that apology. It's forgiveness. It's like, I feel like we are, and I say we leftist liberals,

of like kind of not into prison. Yeah. Not into prison or jail or certain punishments. But at the same time, we haven't created avenues for apologies sometimes. And sometimes I'm like, we need to bring back just a good old punch to the face. Totally.

Yeah. And I think there's like, there's some people where it's like, I think you're not past the point of redemption and like there's someone good in you and like i really hope we can get there or like help you find that or whatever but then there are other people who it's like you've got to knock them out like that's a really bad guy yeah and like they don't need to be around anyone that you love you know what i mean sure yeah and that's like hard and but it's some people it's just like you are too dangerous and shitty and like shouldn't be um accepted into polite society well this is this is certainly oh yeah we're gonna have some fun no we are i yeah i i just

i've been finding it happening and it's it's like this awful thing where you're like oh well i'm saying this is new with israel palestine because it's just a degree this awful thing where you're like oh well i'm saying this is new with israel palestine because it's just a degree of like trump made it kind of very easy and yeah i was younger and you were like just like well we all want uh reproductive rights yeah totally and now that team is very fractured with the like movement in 2020 where everyone was like in the streets marching like that was easy because it was like, I don't know, we all love black people or I hope so. Or it's a lot easier to say, I don't know. And it's also a lot easier to, in theory, go like,

we got to put an end to this. And then it's like, well, so we need to deal with the police a little bit. And it's like, well, well, well. And then once it comes to action, all these movements, you start seeing the lines. And it's also to sacrifice the problem is like sometimes within you because it's like oh i can like look inward and fix this stuff but when it's like oh it's my neighbors it's my friends it's my family like it is so hard when you're experiencing like hate right next to you and

you're like oh god this sucks and i think with like that was like i don't know it's like a larger problem and it's all systemic and that's so much easier to deal with than like interpersonal yeah conflict it is it is or easier to wrap your mind around it's been eye-opening to see how many people need uh their thing it ultimately is like they need to still be connected to the power. So like, they're like, no, no, no. I still believe in like this, like the institution is so important that I have to be connected to it. And I can't, I will never break away from what, like if I'm in this party and this is what they're saying to do, then I'm going to go wherever it goes.

Like where, like, cause I think, I mean, this point has been made a million times online but i think if if a lot of if what was happening right now was happening under trump like of course people be going crazy i mean people with the college stuff and like the thing and and and we're turning our back on the icc and the un and all sorts of things people would be going nuts i would hope maybe maybe but I do think there's a lot of Zionists who would honestly be having a real struggle because suddenly they'd be pro-Trump.

Yeah, I think maybe some more people who are quiet or not paying attention would maybe be paying more attention. I don't know. But it's wild. So, boy room. Totally! Well, tell me, so you grew up in Long Island. Yeah, I'm from Colesburg Harbor

Right where Billy Joel's from Oh yeah? Yeah Do they have a statue there for him? No but he goes to Starbucks In my town sometimes Really? Yeah I saw him there

When I was a little kid If I was fucking Billy If I was as rich as Billy Joel I know I'd never have a fucking Starbucks again in my life Yeah I think when you're old

It's kind of nice to go to like The shops You know what I mean? Sure And he's so old. I would get a French press into my mouth. Yeah, definitely. Every morning. I want one that like really just starts my, like

it would be nice to have a coffee machine that wakes you up with an alarm and then also already has the coffee prepared for you. I have fantasized about that to, I once There's no reason we shouldn't have that already. Well, speaking of your show, like in a different time of my life, there was a time where it was possible for me to put the coffee machine

right next to my mattress on the floor. And I did it. You're valid for that. That's honestly like thinking ahead and really like mindful and like you're kind of an innovator. You'd have walked in my room and just been like, perfect. There's no show here. Nobody gets messy fast.

And I've said show here. Yeah. Nobody gets messy fast. And this, I've said it before. I twice, I was drinking my cup of coffee. Splash. Cockroach. Oh, you're joking.

That's bad. Cockroach. I worked at a cafe. They climb in to a hot coffee? I think what happened is they were. They love the flavor. Just probably the water in the pot left over. They climbed in.

I didn't look. I made the coffee, poured it in. And like, I mean, just- Chomp. I hate that. The legs were all squished. I worked at a cafe and they love the coffee beans. So you have to like clear them out at the end of the night.

But sometimes I would forget and I would get there and there would be a big old cockroach and i would just have to like scoop it while no one was looking and like throw it outside oh my god i'm like a bad barista i'm not saying because i don't want to get in trouble i was really bad at having a job there i do think that having just worked in the service industry just just a little yeah that you people who are super cleanly like of course there's shit going on. Of course there's cockroaches being seen real quick and thrown away.

There is always stuff like that. Every place I've ever worked, there is something really gross happening in every single meal. Can I tell you, I worked at an ice cream shop in high school and they didn't have, it was like a shack attached to a subway

and they did not have air conditioning that worked properly. So the ice cream was all melting and I was in high school have air conditioning that worked properly so the ice cream was all melting and i was in high school and i was like hey the ice cream is all melting it's not it's like bad like we can't even serve it and they were like they were like they just were not treating it like a real problem so anyways one day i picked up a big huge barrel of ice cream and because it was all melting the bottom gave out all of it splashed onto the floor. Like Stanley with the, the, the B.

Yeah. And so then, uh, the owner was like, pick it up, put it, scoop it off the floor and serve it. And, and so then I got in trouble because I was telling customers when they ordered pistachio that I had scooped it off the floor because I was in the psychopath and they would be like, if they had ordered pistachio, I'd be like, off the floor because I was in the psychopath and they would be like if they had ordered pistachio I'd be like hey just so you know that has been on the floor and I was ordered to scoop it up off the ground and the boss was like she was like you're telling people and I was like yeah I'm telling people wait did anyone go there that's fine you know

other high school students were like obviously it was like a small town thing. But years later, I found out that that woman, the owner, she said she didn't have very good luck with men as workers and cited me and my brother. And I was like, I was like, I was not problematic. The only thing I did was tell on you for trying to serve garbage ice cream. Oh my God. I put my boss under the bus basically every day of my life if I had the opportunity to do so. I'm telling everyone all of the mistakes that they're making, everything they're doing wrong to me. I'm like, yeah, I'm not getting any of the money that you're sending me.

I'm not getting any of it until it reaches a cap. I'm getting, or I'm like, I'm making $14 an hour. You cannot yell at me. Like I'm telling everyone everything. I do not care care and i do not have loyalty to my shitty boss yeah especially the ones paying me 14 an hour in america 2024 yeah suck my legit tush yeah also sometimes at this place they wouldn't let us have a tip jar sometimes and so i would just put it out when they weren't there and when i saw their car coming, I would put it tight. That's so insane.

Like, what are you like? They hate you. Minimum wage. What do you mean? What is it to you? I literally like tried to unionize. I was on shrooms at the Cyclones game the other day. And I could not look at the guy who was serving me M&Ms because he had such a scary face.

And I was tripping so much balls. But I saw that the tips were only like 5%, 10%, 15%. And I was like, you guys all need to tell your boss that this is not fucking okay. It should start at 15, go up to 25. Like that is bare minimum vibes. You guys deserve better, seriously.

And then I like, I had to go throw up in the bathroom. No, I was fine. But I was close. I was dry heaving. And then you told the guy, hey, clean that up real quick. Bitch.

Five, 10, 15, that's crazy. Isn't that mean? And he was like, it's fine. It's more than nothing. I'm like, no. You deserve better. You're out here in the hot summer sun. I'm on drugs.

I could do anything right now. You deserve to be compensated. Yeah. I was just in Europe for a little though. To live in a world where there's not a tipping thing and it's just you go oh it's all taken care it's so much better and when the price is just what it costs

that is awesome because you see $15 and you go it's going to be $15 here you say $15 and it ends up being like uber prices you're doing $25 whatever and then they go the taxes are so high but it's good I'm telling you I saw people.

So there was a news story the other day about like how they upped the thing in California. And like they're like. They upped the thing in California? The minimum wage. So there was like $20 an hour or something for. And it lost all. Like it was saying like there was 10,000 jobs or whatever that were lost. I was like, well, then you can't have a business because you can't afford to pay your people a living wage so you're a bad business the boss at the ice cream place had to scoop up their own ice

cream off the floor also i looked it up it was like one of the chains had already filed bankruptcy like in 2020 and wasn't doing well and that was like that was like 48 stores of the anyway that closed but all those money people, they have the money to blame, to blame that as opposed to some, you know, fund buying all the red lobsters. If you can't have a business, you can't have a business.

Fucking losers. Last summer, I told my boss, I was like, hey, I'm not going to be here for a month because I'm going to Europe. I want to have a nice life. And she was like, how can you afford to do that?

And I was like, certainly not with the money you're paying me. And I had to abscond. You know what, David? I want to pay you for this episode. It's crazy to ask an employee how they're affording to do a normal fun thing. Yeah. That's crazy.

Like, how can you do that? I don't pay you enough to do that. You shouldn't leave. It's like psycho. Where do you think you got this, uh, uh, uh, Karl Marxian spirit? Cause you grew up with money. Yes, definitely. Um, I think that it was so nice to have everything that I needed that everyone should have the opportunity to have that. It's really nice to get an education and like be able to live in housing and have mental health

services and be medicated and love my family and friends and have an awesome community and i think everyone should be able to do that and not be working so many jobs that they can't see their children and um your family collectively on the same page with you yeah my like grandpa is like a like communist he like is off the grid he's awesome still does he know he's allowed to more so these days? Yeah, yeah. Be public about it? Yeah, yeah.

He's doing his own thing. Depending on the state. Was he like part of the party? I don't know about that. I actually think he was doing his, he kind of came to it on his own. Yeah. I think he like was doing

his totally own thing. He was like, I don't really like how this works and I don't want to be like at a job all the time and I don't want to be like, yeah, I think he just like sells weed in California and makes it makes it happen for himself nice do you get weed from

him um I haven't seen him in like 100 years but I should definitely pop out because I think he's like on his last leg but I was too young when I was seeing him to be able to smoke weed but now I would probably yeah um what do your parents do for work um my they're both retired well my dad's retired now he used to be a research analyst and my mom has just been able to like chillax and do yoga and teach um cooking and um they both um are involved in their communities. Yeah. My dad, like, oh, I guess I don't want to dox them.

I think they're so private. And so I would be scared. Our listeners generally don't just dox. Okay, thank you so much. Did they grow up with money or did they earn it? Your dad? Neither of them grew up with money. My dad is a self-made man. He grew up really poor and is just like kind of a genius.

And so he came to America. The land of opportunities made it happen from England. So he's not like a cool immigrant. He's like. He's British, though. Yeah. He's like a traitor. Do you have a British citizenship?

No, because I kind of boofed it. There was a bunch of paperwork when I was 18 and I was too busy trying to get laid. So I didn't do any of the stuff necessary and now it's really hard to become a citizen. Really? Yeah. You submitted it and they were like, the pages are stuck together.

We can't process this at all. I just like never did it. I was like, yeah, I don't think that's going to be important to me. And now I'm like, God, it would be really cool to bust out. I would love to go somewhere else. But I think it would be easy to to get someone to sponsor me or something. Tova, her mom is from Britain originally and she speaks

very confidently that she could just get a passport anytime. For her mom? For her. I had one as a baby. I feel like if I brought that in and I was like, guys, level with me. Can I have this again? They would give it to me. Probably. You know what I lost is my social security card. Dude, I don't know where mine is. I lost it. It's a piece of paper. Why do they do that? It's crazy. I have a phot? They would give it to me probably. You know what I lost is my social security card. Dude, I don't know where mine is.

I lost it. It's a piece of paper. Why do they do that? It's crazy. I have a photocopy of it. I just use that. It's like so crazy that it's just a piece of, like, just trust that my number is the one that, like, why would I have the same thing since I'm a baby? What are you talking about?

What's your social security number? Oh, it's, no, it was a crazy, it's a little blue piece of paper and I lost it. It's tiny. I don't know where mine is. Why do we, we shouldn't even be asked to have it It should be in a lockbox somewhere That we can access At least the passport is like

It's got leather or fake leather bound It's bound to something Put the card in something else Put it attached to a chain Or something so I remember where it is Or have somewhere to put it Even the passport, I haven't lost it yet. I've done a pretty good job with it.

I have it with me right now. Yeah? I don't know why. In case we go to Toronto and I didn't tell you about it. You never know when you're going to have to jet set. Yeah.

But clearly it should be digital. This is one of the things when they start talking about AI making movies, I'm like, how about we figure out digital security in a way where if I lose my passport,

it's okay. Yeah. Also like with the clear stuff that they they're implementing into the clear which kind of scares me like i'm a little afraid of like the um what's it called biometric yeah biometric like i think that's a little scary and i don't want them to like just be doing that to me whenever but i think like it would honestly sometimes be helpful to just like screw and then i get to go to like Paris yeah yeah I think they're close

do you do clear? I don't yeah they just look at my eyes I don't yeah I got scammed into it one time because the line was so long and I was running really late

for my flight you did how much is it? no I don't have any of that stuff get TSA pre listen to me get TSA pre guys don't

go get TSA pre get TSA pre right now it's gonna be a nightmare it's so annoying you're so scary when you tell me what yeah I'll go get TSA pre. Get TSA pre right now. It's going to be a nightmare. It's so annoying. You're so scary when you tell me what. Yeah, I'll go get TSA pre. Well, how much is clear? It's like 80 bucks a year or something.

Yeah, it's that. But if you're traveling a lot, like, you've got the money. Now they have lines that are clear and TSA at the same time. They have three lines. Yeah. I've been noticing the clear. They get to go more. So, yeah, it's the next thing.

Is it boy room or boy's room? I forget. Boy room. Simple. Because your Tova recommended we reach out. Thank you so much, Tova. You're the legit best. You're so cool and awesome and gorgeous.

I used to tell a story on stage where a woman I met after a show, she came back to my place in Harlem and, uh, she walked in my room and said, your bedroom looks like a mental asylum. Oh my God. And. Girls can be such bitches. But it was like, but it is, it is a thing. Didn't you have like one thing hanging on the wall?

Yeah. Like even worse. But it was like, but it is, it is a thing. Didn't you have like one thing hanging on the wall? Yeah. Like even worse. It was, I had an idea for an artistic exhibit with puzzle pieces and it was like my own, like it was, it was not for other people. It was during a time where there were no visitors to the, to the museum. So I said, whatever goes up on the wall, it doesn't seem to matter. If it makes you happy, it makes you laugh, it's worth it.

But sometimes it can be off-putting to girls some terrible metaphor about a piece missing in life just awful she's like i'm right here and then also on one wall i had like etched like everyone i'd ever killed on this side uh but i do feel like that was, I'm pretty sure that was maybe during my mattress on the floor stage. But I think so much of my making my living situation better was driven in some capacity by, oh, if I ever want a woman to come back to here, it's going to have to get better. I think if I was celibate, I'd be sleeping with a mattress on the floor still. Truly. I didn't mind it. It just lands there.

It's so easy to put it there. And it's hard to get it up. It feels good at the end of the day to go, I'm done with the day. Going to the floor. Yeah. Going to where I will one day rest forever. I was on the floor for like a week last week

because I was in between bed frames. And it was like bad for my self esteem I will say also I had like a bunch of shit all around me because the stuff that was usually under my bed was just kind of like encircling the bed and so I felt like I was in some sort of like scary cult circle yeah I don't want to I want to be a little elevated yeah it is

nice to be up yeah but a bad bed frame is not great no no an Ikea bed frame no no I got that one that like it's two pieces and you basically unfold it and then lock them together. It is the best thing ever. If you're like low

maintenance like chiller. Yeah, I think I've moved past that point. Totally. You're an adult and you have to like keep it real with yourself about that. Because an Ikea bed, whatever it is that holds up the mattress part, sometimes it would fall off and so you'd be sleeping.

And it's subtle. You'd fall into the bed like a pit. I don't have a lot of faith in Ikea. I love going there, but mostly for the experience. I don't think I've ever gone to an Ikea. I went once. Oh my god. I'm about to get a car and you've got to come with me.

It is so much fun. And then you can go get Steve's authentic key lime pie afterwards. I've heard of that. It is like the best day ever. I thought the meatballs was the thing. They have meatballs too. Well, totally. But if we're in Red Hook, we're going to get Steve's authentic key lime pie.

It's a little popsicle with a small key lime pie attached, dipped in chocolate. And then you look at the Statue of Liberty. It's like awesome. There's also there's an energy there of couples. We're getting a building, a life, a home. It's awesome. It's such a romantic space, but also good to go with a

friend. The Sephora Savings Event is here. World in my hand, I'll take this and that. And that. Ooh, and this. Oh, it's true. Find everything you want on sale at the Sephora Savings Event. It only happens

twice a year and it's on now through November 11th. Find brands like Rare Beauty, Glow Recipe, Valentino, K18, and more, all for less. Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms atphora.com for complete details uh so your show uh correct me if i'm wrong but it's it's uh on tiktok and that's

post other places but it's you go to a guy's room and you uh judge it yeah i just like to see the sites um and i guess it ends up being judgmental but i don't really think of myself as like above that it's much more no one could say a kind word about some of these some of them are so scary but it's not it's i don't ever think it's like i think it's like a very anthropological experience to bop into someone's home and like i think it's so um crazy how some people live but i don't think it's like bad what's the scariest thing you've ever come across we went to a house in philadelphia that actually scared the legit shit out of me it was um unfinished because the guy built it oh he bought

it and then he's like he shelled it out but and he's rebuilding it he was like coming to the kitchen it was a it looked like a dark alleyway that had walls on all the sides and all of the electric was visible all of the wall inside of the wall was visible in the bathroom they just had like a one of those lights that you use when you're working on a construction site to see stuff when there's no electric and it was in the shower and there were a bunch of wires like taped in the shower and i thought that maybe is like bad for um if you like are trying not to get electrocuted he's like don't worry i haven't showered in years exactly and they had not literally that one was hard to film because they were both doing we did two in there

one i don't know if it will ever come out because he was doing so much whippets that it was like impossible to understand what he was saying oh no and both of them were honestly so high on nitrous nitrous oxide the whole time What is Whippet? Because that wasn't part of my experience Nitrous oxide What do people act like when they're on it? Isn't that like a high school? Like kids were doing in high school?

Yeah it's like really easy to get because it's just canisters And you like pop them open One time I was dating a boy and he did that And I literally just left his house Like it was so unsexy to watch a man drool on himself After ripping nitrous oxide that I had to bust out. So did he go to his fridge and it's in his fridge or it doesn't need to be refrigerated? No, it doesn't need to be refrigerated.

It gets cold when it's activated because like science or something. You just whip it out of a whipped cream can or you can put it in a balloon or something. Does some whipped cream come out too? Not unless you put in some cream. If you want to make some cream happen, then you can pop that in there too. But usually you're just doing it for the gas. Oh. And it just makes you kind of like zone out.

Do you hold on to it like a cigarette? You can. And that makes it really really strong. It's like, have you ever done a popper? No. No. We're going to do one for a Patreon episode. Oh guys, you've got to do a popper. I know, we're going to try it. Okay, are poppers because my understanding for poppers was like you take it like and then you put it in. It's like for anal sex specifically.

I think it's very helpful for loosening up the body because your whole body becomes completely limp. It's like it feels like you're about to shit yourself, throw up. You're not selling it. It feels like you're about to shit yourself, throw up and fall over. like you're about to shit yourself throw up you're not it feels like you're about to shit yourself throw up and fall over but if you're having sex i imagine that would be like amazing because that's kind of close to what coming can feel like if you're doing it right okay but when when people wait i'm sorry when you come you have to you feel like you're about to shit and throw up is that if it's that good wait but when people talk about like they're talking about going to

a concert and like oh you could smell the poppers ever. People are doing it there, though. So like, I think you have to be there or like, oh, it's kind of fun to do, even if you're not having sex, because it's like I just want to go get some right now so that you can experience it. It just is like it's literally three seconds of being like nothing in the world matters. I'm light as a feather. You come back and you're like, I don't feel good. Yeah then you don't feel good i don't know well it's like like a chemical it's like when you snort like nail polish it doesn't feel like awesome nothing that either oh you've got to snort nail polish but so if you're going to a concert are you doing it like

at the best part of the song or like if it's so short like what are you doing it 10 times that night are you just like fuck it let's do it i think if you're on other drugs you can just like elevate the experience let's mix it that's the problem just start mixing it yeah totally i guess you must not do that for the patreon would you just do one popper it will be so awesome please please maybe yeah sure sure i guess i do it too it's not that dangerous you don't hear a lot of- It's not dangerous, is it? Pop or deaths? No.

I mean, if you did it like 300 times a day, every day for like a couple of years, I think you would like maybe lose some of like what makes you you. Brain itself. Some of your swag. But I think that it's like once or twice, you're fine. Unless you have like a rare brain thing

that maybe you're the one who like dies that's but you never know that way i know i thought i had a i was like i recently my friend is a brain scientist and she let me come get an mri for free or i got paid and they like did experiments on me while i was in the machine and it was awesome because i've always been worried that maybe there's like a lump in there or something very scary. But to find out that I'm actually fine and I actually have a really high pain tolerance is awesome. Wow. Scientifically high pain tolerance.

I wondered if I was like super, if like Jeff Bezos, someone who just has all the money to do whatever to stay alive as long as they want. Like do they just get a full, is there a way to do an intensive scan? Yes. I think you can't do it once a week though because of x-ray or whatever. No, no, it would be like radiation or whatever. But it is good to check out all your stuff. I want to find out what's going on in there. But I always think that like – I always think something weird is going to happen even if it's like a rare thing.

On the way here, I was on the escalator scrolling Twitter and I saw a video of an escalator sucking a shoe into it and crushing it and like and like what an escalator could do if a human foot was in there and I saw this video pop up while I was on an escalator and I was like oh my god and I was like in the middle of the escalator like like like like is it a sign is this about to happen because i always think about my my shoelace getting stuck in the thing and somehow getting sucked i want you to think about that version let's say that is a sign what kind of god is this so god says hey he's about to have a terrible accident let me just show him a little tweet just to fuck with him for 10 seconds that would never happen because that guy definitely didn't see a video of it happening. Well, it wasn't.

It was just like an example, a scientific example. There was no person attached to it, but it just was showing like a high heel. And again, I didn't have high heels on, but it showed how a high heel could get latched into one of those things. I like that you called it a scientific example.

Like what science do you study? Well, I put shoes in the escalators and film it. Totally. And someone has to. It crushed it. There's a science for everything. It crushed it so quickly. It sucked it right down. I like watching those videos. It's like metal things curling

and they drop anything in there and gradually it just tears into pieces. And it pops and stuff. Or the one that crushes it until it goes down. Speaking of, this is way off topic, but random videos. Did you see that video of that bull who jumped the thing in Oregon? And it jumped out of the arena.

It jumped out of the arena. It was like a bull fighting thing. The arena I'm imagining is impossible. So I need to lower the walls of my imaginary. The arena I'm imagining is impossible. So I need to lower the walls of my imaginary. The arena I'm imagining this bull flew. Like a gargantuan, like you're like over the like walls. Okay, arena is a generous term for this bow down that was happening with like 400 people in Oregon. But it was like a six foot wall, you know?

Sure. Anyway, so they're doing bull fighting or they're doing bull whatever. They're a horrible thing where they poke sticks at bulls and they make them mad and they chase people. And then they're like, what happened? How did it? Anyways, the bull got jumped over the wall and then was just out and about like with like vendors and like people who are just like at the rodeo, not inside.

Yeah. And so it's running around crazily and, and without notice, like there's no time it runs and there's a group of three people and it's just, and a woman's wearing a red shirt. So you're like, Oh, the red, red, the bull. So he's red. And it just flips her, like hits her. She goes flying in the air into a full flip, lands on it again, flips her again. It lands on, like goes on to her and then keeps going like but it happens like

within a second she flips like twice do you check the replies the the is she okay i looked it up she's okay um but uh it was a crazy thing to think of i've never been to a rodeo but like knowing that's a possibility now the bulls get loose sure you don't want to live near a rodeo so i thought i was psychic because there was like a week where I just kept thinking about my teeth crunching on like cement. And then my teeth got knocked out. And I was like, I call this a mile off. But now I keep thinking about like losing a limb. And I'm so worried that it's going to happen because I'm so psychic.

But I have to imagine that like saying it out loud helps God be like ah she's catching on so we can't do it and so I'm like hoping so how did your teeth get knocked out fake wood no some stuff fell on me oh my god I was in the back of a truck because I was working a production gig and a bunch of

stuff fell on me because a guy took the ratchet strap off of like six folding tables and they all just toppled onto my head. Boom. I was really scared but now my teeth are back. Prostodontists are the greatest doctors in the world. Prostodontists? Yeah.

You don't know what they are until you need them urgently. And then there they are and they did an amazing job on me. Prostodontist sounds like a dinosaur. Yeah. So sounds like a dinosaur. Yeah. So. He was old.

Sorry, it took me a sec. Sorry. I can wait a little. Is there any more? No, no, no. I'm tapped out. Thank you. So this boy room idea is yours?

Yeah. Bit of is yours? Yeah. Bit of a genius. Yeah. What, were there any, was there any particular thing that inspired it or did you just see over the years? I've seen some stuff for sure. And then my friend was like, a girl came over last night and left because my room was so scary. And he's like one of my, the best guys ever. And I was like, well, that's not right because you're awesome. You should be like be like slaying basically and so i was like do you want me to come over and help and he was like i think i'm too embarrassed but i was like there is a world of people who i can help

and so i guess i'm not really helping but i am going to their house uh-huh and i love going what did you see in his place i didn't see it he didn't let me in oh he wouldn't let you in yeah he was too embarrassed because that's the thing i think about the show is some of these guys, they show no shred of shame. Yes. I think when you're living in something, it's hard to understand how different it is from how someone else is living. Yes, sure. Like, I'm sure the way that I eat would, like, terrify Kate Moss, but it doesn't even matter to me. And, like, I kind of like it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And so it's like until someone shines a light on what you're doing it's hard to really think about it as different or wrong or um like misguided even and so i think sometimes like something that's so bizarre to us is just commonplace i go to friends houses sometimes we went to our friend douglas goodhart who co-hosts the podcast sometimes and he he's very aesthetically inclined. And I remember going there and just being like, oh, shit, you're an adult and I'm a child. Yeah, yeah.

Totally. Some people just, like, have it going on. I won't say that I am. I really definitely don't have any, like, taste, but I definitely can see when it's really bad. Sure. Do you not, like, could someone flip the script on you one day

and go to your room and be like... Yeah, I would be, like, completely screwed, especially today. There is so much on my floors that it you not like, could someone flip the script on you one day and go to your room? Yeah, I would be like completely screwed, especially today. There is so much on my floors that it would like, it would start kind of like a revolution probably. If people knew what my truth is. But I don't know. I don't think that will ever happen because I would never let anyone into my house. Yeah. Any of those guys get pissed after the fact?

They feel embarrassed? I think there was one experience someone didn't like the comments but it was because they were like a hot person who'd never been bullied on the internet and i was like well okay like sorry you have to experience what like every like heavy person trans person like yeah everyone i know basically every comic who's like putting themselves out there like every single day is experiencing basically non-stop for one day

and they weren't even that mean not to be a bitch but it was like haha this is nasty it was like yeah dude like if you can't handle this like good luck with other stuff because people are not nice in this town yeah yeah yeah showbiz is like so harsh and you've gotta have thick skin some people just

aren't cut out for it people are so mean to me in the comments it's crazy um whatever mean like in defense or just actually no just like misogynistic and like mean about my body and stuff like i've it's just like get a grip i am so thankful to have such a nice life that mean comments don't really affect me yeah yeah but i understand that that's not like always the case and sometimes it's really exhausting yeah and i have like a pretty um not that not marginalized person yeah and how would you how would you teach it because i i feel like there's a degree where we've also accepted like any platform that's going to have comments. It's just going to be filled.

Especially for any woman. Yeah, my gosh. I was saying because when we post clips and the guest is a woman, I see all the comments. So I go like for a brief second, I feel like I get a window into like what it would be to be a woman. It's crazy. It's insane. It's kind of like funny woman it's so much i mean it's so it's so crazy funny it's so crazy because it's like i'm on this thing the whole time and then like if anyone

like it's just the the the amount of men that will say the craziest things to a woman and you're like about size or stuff it's crazy even like some of the stuff that's like ha ha i didn't know women could be funny like even that stuff i'm just like why'd you that's like haha i didn't know women could be funny like even that stuff i'm just like why'd you come here like you so don't need to post that it's so unnecessary you're like i don't know there's just so much stuff and i just like can't really think about it too much because it just makes me really scared for like the world yeah but there's overall manner things that like especially with the internet i don't think we've learned how to as a society to instill in people like yeah for guys i'll see this for guys that feel the need to go like normally i

don't find women funny but this was really good and you're like or like a guy like commented like this girl would be so hot if she lost 20 pounds it's like just say i'm hot just say i'm hot like i don't need to know about the other stuff like you can deal with you can tell other people what you think about me or like if you were like shoot like if you want to whisper it to your best friend no problem you don't really need to tell me that because like i probably don't really want to do that right now i've got other stuff going on also i'm posting comedy so how hot i am actually doesn't matter yeah ideally but i guess to you it's all i'm good for that's the guy's thing with the guy i'm like does everything have to be sexy all the time? but she's not hot.

Not everything has to be sexy. Go watch porn. Go jerk off. Yeah. Those guys are like, go jerk off and then you can look at something else.

They go, it's okay for a second. I don't need to be horny for the whole goddamn day. Yeah. Chill. It really is nuts. That is like the biggest thing

where it's like, my purpose in life is to be extremely funny and I know that I'm sexy and like hot in other like in the proper circumstances. But like it's not my end goal to be like the hottest person ever or the sexiest person ever. So like when people are like, well, you're this, but you're not hot. It's like, yeah, I never said I wanted to be that. Like that's like not the goal.

You know, like the goal, like if I'm like a marathon runner, they're like, but you're not good at writing. It's like, totally. I never wanted to be that like that's like not the goal you know like the goal like if i'm like a marathon runner they're like but you're not good at writing it's like totally i never wanted to be yeah that wasn't like what i was trying to do and i am not i don't have any fun doing that yeah i don't know it's like kind of a nightmare um so so so for the for for boy room you guys pre-screen stuff i imagine yeah there's a producer who just, like, fields the DMs on the Gymnasium account. They're, like, they produce it. Gymnasium produces the show. And they DM pictures? And people will DM pictures,

and they, like, decide if it's, like, worth going or not, and they, like, see if the person is, like, or just, like, if the person seems, like, fun. And we found, like, it is hard to sometimes know through pictures because sometimes like a room will be like messy but there's nothing like tight there's no through line or like anything that really makes it interesting or exciting or the person's kind of like dull or just kind of a sweetie pie who doesn't talk that much sure and so that can be a little tough but um they do a pretty good job making sure that we go places that are sick and we did

some really fun ones in philadelphia i'm excited for more of them to come out was there anything in philly that was uh different than new york yeah trends of different places i think that it's just like everyone has a lot more space there um generally and i think it's like a more like gritty city and so much more like working class and like the people there are so much more like they have a lot of pride in their city and i think it like shines in their rooms or something or i don't know there's like a lot of like philly like merch on the walls yeah it's just like a lot of gritty rougher like and and especially with the last one that we did there's like he was like yeah it's just how it is in philly you don't throw stuff out like

obviously people in philly throw stuff out but i think like the people who are like rough and tumble like philadelphians are like really proud of the like the the filth or the grit and um i think that's cool because i think in new york there's people who are like i'm punk like i made it like this you know what i mean but it's like no it's just like this yeah i don't know yeah yeah i'm trying to think of like what was the worst time in my life was there ever a time in my life where like it would have been a good enough episode if there was enough going on probably not unless you had like weird stuff i guess the puzzle pieces could have been interesting to see yeah it would have been embarrassing in a different artistic way definitely if the thing that you

really thought was like working for you or something, you're like, I'm like making really creative stuff. And then I was mean about it. I would feel horrible for sure. How did you guys meet each other? We met in a really bad off-Broadway improv show. Totally.

I'm sorry for asking. No, no, it's okay. Let me tell you what the art exhibit was going to be in its totality if i have okay i want to hear yeah so i was like interested in in all the different so pretentious no no all the different like whatever uh mathematical constants were required for the universe to exist there's and i don't I couldn't possibly explain it past what I just said. 27 things that if they were not true, nothing would be.

And I was going to get, I was going to make an exhibit of, of, I would get dice to encourage the randomness of everything. And it was, every number was going to be portrayed like with all the dice. And in this exhibit, it'd be interactive. If you tried to move one all the dice and in this exhibit it'd be interactive if you tried to move one of the dice the lights would go out my god and if that was

there i think if that girl had come home that she would have said she said fucking fuck me wait so you didn't do it you started to do it and then you didn't do it yeah i just did i i basically i built a little plaque that would be next to the art piece before i built the art piece itself i was like joe marcus aresi great artist blah blah blah one day i'll build the art that justifies it i i feel like the worst i ever i i had like at times where i definitely didn't have anything on the walls i didn't have anything like anything i only had clothes and the bed. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Like where, and there was a while where I didn't have a closet. So I had like the rack. You know, the rack. The rack is brutal. That sad rack. Without proper care or mindfulness, the rack can be the scariest place in the world. Well, when I didn't, when when i you do learn like i've

been married now eight years uh you like so you see through different eyes now we're like holy shit it's like you would never go to ikea you're married this is a guy having a regular realization but like he had to be married eight years to figure it out no no but like i'm saying like like for instance when i got my apartment, uh, in Astoria, uh, my second apartment Astoria with my friend, we were moving in and Nicole came and we, it was move in day. And she, it was the first time she was there. And she's like your apartment, you didn't say your apartment doesn't have any closets.

And that was me realizing, oh, we got an apartment without any closets yeah i hadn't didn't even recognize that do you know what i mean like so then it was like she's like what are you gonna do with all your clothes you have no closets and i was like oh well i guess we'll get this rack thing and so there's like stuff like that where you're like now i would notice if i went into apartment and it didn't have a closet or anything i I would notice. But there was a time you just don't. I just don't notice certain things. There was a time someone showed me a potential apartment to move into and I remember I walked in

and it was like disaster. And then I left and when I was leaving I said, wait a second. There was no toilet. And then I called and I was like, there's no toilet in this apartment. And he said, oh, it's going to be built. It's going to be built. And I was like, there's no toilet in this apartment. He said, oh, it's going to be built. It's going to be built.

And I was like, absolutely not. Where? But I remember it was leaving. And I was like, wait a second. Was it in the shower? Sometimes? No, there was a bathtub. A classic bathtub in the kitchen with a wood thing over it.

I think noticing an absence is a really hard thing to do. You have to already really rely on something to notice that it's not there like at my ex's house he didn't have a humidifier and i was like that's crucial because i i didn't have one then i got one changed my life now it's better so it's like then i see he doesn't have it and i'm like okay but like before that i never knew that i didn't have a humidifier until someone else said that you probably need this sometimes like that really does have to come from other people's eyes who have what you have not and they tell you you deserve better. I feel like it's got away a bit as a trope online,

but there was a thing of like, guys don't have a bedroom, guys don't have the top sheet. And I was like, listen, I know a lot of serial killers who got a great top sheet. You know what I mean? It's like good people can have like... I know a lot of serial killers. I know a lot of serial killers. I know a lot of serial killers.

And they're all me. And they're glamorous. But there's just that degree of like, I get it. I get when people are like, that's embarrassing. You don't know this. Yes. But it's not indicative of you being a good human being. No, certainly not.

And that's great. Might be a great guy who just needs a little nudge. And then he'll get that best frame. Of course. Of course. I'm just saying it does. Yeah. You get, you know.

And sometimes it takes, I mean, like that stuff about no one can love you till you love yourself. Like some of that's true. But I also think like sometimes someone else loving you is so helpful because you're like, oh, I do deserve to have like a little bit of a nicer stuff. Like I do deserve to treat my body better. I do deserve to like have a job where I'm not treated like total shit. Like sometimes it really is just so helpful to have someone who really cares about you being like, I'm on your side and I think that this isn't right for you. And you're like, oh, yeah, I'm not happy. It's kind of awesome. I'm doctor friend.

Who does the art for all your posters? Which ones? These? It's so good. No, not that stuff. I'm looking at that, but I don't know what that is. There are a couple of different ones. Sorry for asking. Alan Faustino is a guy I work with a lot. I'm looking at that, but I don't know what that is. There are a couple of different ones. Sorry for asking.

Alan Faustino is a guy I work with a lot. I can give you his email. Every time you post them, I freak out. They're like unbelievable. We got a good poster coming tomorrow. Oh, my God. Wait, guys, this is going to be awesome. So you have ADD.

Sorry. Of course. And I haven't medicated myself in maybe like a year and a half because it's just so boring to do. However, I also have not responded to an email. They're so scary. You were here on time, to be fair. No, no. I'm good at that stuff.

Actually, that's not true. I'm usually late. But today, by some legit miracle, I was here on time. But I do have to set like 13 alarms a day to make sure that I'm like paying attention to it time passing. What do you mean? Well, so like if I need to be somewhere at. So today I had to be here at 3.30. Yeah.

But I had to leave the house at 2.40. And then I had to make sure that I was like dressed and had my makeup on by 2.30. But doing my makeup and getting dressed can take like 20 minutes or half an hour or even like an hour if i really want to like get into it today i definitely didn't sorry you deserve better um i didn't do a full beat i hope that's okay please don't get mad at me i didn't do my eyebrows that well um but yeah you gotta set a lot of she'd be really funny if she had my alarm i like you scroll through my alarms and it's like there's a lot of them really that's like the phone and just for just one event you would have like five or six oh yeah because i need to know when to start

doing my when to get in the shower when to make sure that i've eaten by when to make sure i leave by and then a backup plan in case i need to u. And I am Ubering a lot because I'm generally missing the time that I'm supposed to go because I've got to set a, a first, a former alarm that tells me that I should have been getting ready. It is a nightmare, but I also, um,

appreciate it because I think there's some good stuff to it. Like sometimes amazing things happen in my fridge. Like it gets clean on a random day and i couldn't have even anticipated that that would happen but i just get the movements yeah that's not happening with my adn oh my god oh my god i did the whole fridge wow uh were you when were you diagnosed um they like refused to diagnose me um i like won't listen to it doctors are your parents? No, no, the doctor.

My doctor has ADHD. This woman is so funny. That's why you can't get the medication because your doctor's like, oh, wait, I see this patient. She is the funniest woman I've ever met in my life. She has this amazing like loft in Soho that I go to. Art everywhere that is stunning. Like incredible taste.

Six couches. I've never seen her sit in any of the couches for more than like 30 seconds. She's always hopping from place to place and she never takes she takes her shoes off immediately puts them back on takes them off like 13 times within the session hands me a diet coke the second i get there without asking if i want one she is amazing this is your therapist this is my psychiatrist my therapist is extremely normal i thought this was like your your general practitioner no no i go to their house i'm like trying to tell them like oh my god yeah i've been My therapist is extremely normal. I thought this was like your general practitioner. No, no. I go to their house. You're going to take my shoes off?

I'm like trying to tell them like, yeah, I've been having a hard time. She's like, do you want to hear about, oh, and she always pulls up IMDB Pro. She's obsessed with famous people. She's always telling me, oh my God, I just saw this woman on the street. Like she's obsessed with famous people. And she texted me at 10. I like was written about in the post. And she texted me at 10.30 p.m. and was like, Rachel, I just saw you in the New York Post.

I'm so excited for you. This is awesome. You've got to come see me soon. I need to give you more drugs. She is awesome. And also, she doesn't have a filing system in her phone. So everything is in manila envelopes all over the place. In stacks.

It is crazy. She hasn't charged me in 13 sessions. I owe her like over 20 drafts. I don't know if she's a real doctor. It's like crazy when you go and say hi to. This is one of those moments where. She still uses an Earthlink email address. Oh.

She's amazing. Earthlink.net. I love her. What kind of drugs is she giving you is she the one providing all these poppers poppers I get Prozac

and Vyvanse Vyvanse yeah she wants me to get thinner she was like the Vyvanse will make you thin she's obsessed

with me losing weight she's like well I'll put you on the Prozac but I think that'll make you gain weight so we're gonna get you some Vyvanse

I also and like whatever she is awesome can I say I've been struggling so hard to get appropriate sleep medication for my trip to Australia literally she would give you like methamphetamines if you were like

I just kind of like the rush she is awesome I told my therapist about this woman and she was like hey I actually if you want to see someone I do actually think that and no and i was like no i'm seeing my girl because that girl is awesome i like the uh the devil and angel yeah of the two of them it sounds like they really balance each other out like that sounds like what's winning pretty resolutely. She is amazing.

Yeah. When were you diagnosed? I wasn't. I wasn't. I'm so confident enough that I could get some degree of medication. Tova would like me to get it. Don't worry. It would stifle my creative spirit.

But I also think like doing occasionally and like getting something done. When you have to do um like admin tasks like i think when you're like writing fun stuff and having an amazing time honestly it's good for writing jokes excuse me sorry it's good for like writing jokes and stuff it's not good for performing like when i'm performing on adderall i'm like i wish you guys were all like in a board meeting right now and um we're listening to my pitches like i don't i'm like not really a motive please please that's really distracting thank you so much like it's like it's it's not fun yeah but it is really good for like getting stuff done and like organizing stuff

and doing like emails and i cannot do emails without it i've got like 17 people waiting for me to email them really important stuff i don't know when i'll ever get to it because i don't like taking the vivance it hurts my neck the vivance is is adderall. I don't know when I'll ever get to it because I don't like taking the Vyvanse. It hurts my neck. The Vyvanse is Adderall for? I don't know what it is. It's like an extended release version of Adderall and it's for people with eating disorders, I guess. And so I don't know why it's for eating disorders,

but a lot of people with eating disorders will have it or binge eating disorders. And so I get it because i guess my i don't really know but it is helpful for a lot of stuff and it's like um an amphetamine i think one day she's gonna go to those manila files and be like rachel uh you owe me two million dollars also the last time I was there, she accidentally left me

in the like waiting room with this other patient for way too long. The other patient started talking to me and was like, are you an Aries? I don't fuck with Aries at all.

And we like got into like a weird, like she was like being really like vicious to me right away. And I was like, oh, so you deal with crazy people.

She was being so unkind. Can you imagine she's like, you like that girl girl out there i can give you what she's on a little trailer of what's to come that i never know what to say when someone like either asks about your your sign i know it is a way of being like either way of like like oh i don't I don't really blah, blah, blah. Or, or the, I get along. They're there. Cause they'll usually be like, I get along with Tarsus. I hate it.

I hate it. I, I, it makes me so uncomfortable because to me, it's like going up to someone and saying, do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord? Yeah. You've engaged me.

I don't know yet. Yeah. Yeah. I, I do. And it's, it, no matter what you do,

it comes off like a fucking snobby thing. But I go, I, I don't, I'm not sure. I was born August 20th. Good. And I,

and that's my version of like, I'm not going to support this. Of course I know. It's not. And then they say, oh, you're always no. So then they're going to tell you,

you're just like delaying the process. If it's true that my sign is like what I am and my heart and everything that there is to know about me. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling some stranger on the street. That's my top secret business. And you can use it against me if you're really smart. I don't really know that you are but what if you know how to manipulate an Aries

with a Leo rising and a Gemini moon. What if I'm just right for you to take advantage of my lifestyle. Sure. You must protect yourself. It's become cliche to complain about astrology. Of course. And I think that's why I'm trying to articulate my complaint to be,

it's not, if you want to believe in it, whatever. But like, I feel like have some shame about it like some of the other religions do. Where they don't, I mean, sure, there's some people. Treat it like a Scientologist. But yes, treat it like a Scientologist. This is a thing. You don't have to bring it on everybody.

It makes me, because it makes me uncomfortable. And I think when other people are not taking that you're uncomfortable with, it's a consent thing. It's like if someone doesn't want to talk about something, even though it seems snobby, it's like, oh, I don't believe. It's not even, I don't believe in that. It's like, I don't really feel like it doesn't connect with me. I don't want to talk about it.

And it does make me uncomfortable because it feels like you're trying to know me in a way that like instead of just asking me questions about myself and I'm an open book, like just ask me the stuff that you're wondering. Am I really like avoidant? You can ask me that. We'll find out in two weeks. You know what I mean? Yeah. There are enough people that are into it that you can then do it with them. And you can you can gauge that very quickly.

And they do it. It happens at yoga. And I go like this is this is not part of the class that we all sign up for. can then do it with them and you can you can gauge that very quickly and they do they do it they it happens at yoga and i go like this is this is not part of the class that we all sign up for and it's like if you walked in and said any other hello class uh thou shall not kill anyone this morning let's go on to pose it's just like that's not what i'm here for and it makes just makes me uncomfortable yeah like i could i could be finding out that the moon is gonna do evil stuff to me today it's like that stresses me out yeah i'm really worried today because you just said that the moon is doing something bad we're all like in some weird thing because the moon and saturn saturn's always however every now and then saturn is someone will be like the moon is doing

something weird and i'm like i know because why did I just get a parking ticket and I got broken up with? I'm like, let's not talk about astrology because it's bullshit. And you're like, let's not talk about astrology because it's scary how true it could be. Afraid of the future. Mercury's coming for me right now. Don't speak too loud.

What time is it? Sorry. Why do you keep apologizing? I have no idea. Just covering my bases. Just apologizing for the passage of time? Can I be really fast? Yeah, you can be. We'll talk about something. We'll talk about rooms. Let's see. We have some

stuff to talk about. Will you use first while I look at this? Can I say what really I wish I wish I could monetize on twitter so goddamn bad and i can't because it would require being verified and paying elon musk money oh and imagine how how awful a person has to be for me to literally go like no i won't make money off my 9-11 tweet that 9-11 tweet could have made like how much i don't i don't know the twitter rates it could be all over the place yeah but let's just say 150 bucks yeah oh that's for 9-11 joke could

have paid for twitter for 10 months right yeah yeah i feel like i wish there was some work around but there really isn't you get that blue check mark you're a loser you are a loser you're a loser there's no way around it. You're a loser, yeah. I'm sorry, man. That sucks for you. Yeah. I saw one of those cyber trucks in New York. I want to drive one so bad. I know. Oh, like the big ones?

Yeah, it was in New York. It was like on McDougal Street. They are hilarious. They're like tanks. They're like tanks. When like tanks that's what i when i see them i get i get the idea of like it's a cool thing it's a creepy military it's a military vehicle like yeah on mcdougall street yeah it looks like the future like a sad future yeah a bad version a bad but that's why eric adams that's why they show them that's why they show like the exhibit look three people trying to kick in the window.

Couldn't break it. It's like, yeah, that's the poor people that you ran over their mom and now they can't break it. And that's what you're really advertising. If people want to come for you, it's bad. When people wake up, you'll be okay. When the moon turns on you. When people wake up, you can still be fast asleep. Yeah.

In your cyber truck. I drove a Tesla in L.A. because my friend let me drive hers. I immediately scratched it. Oops. That's my bad, honestly. At the, what is it called? Some mall. I was at the Erewhon at the mall.

But I love driving it. I will say it's kind of smooth. And when you take your foot off the pedal, it starts braking. So it's like really smooth, but also kind of scary because like you're wondering why the car just like stops when you put...

Anyway, it doesn't matter. But it is really stupid because there's no lever for the windshield wipers. And so it was like pouring rain in LA, which I guess never happens for most. But to me, it did occur. And you have to like press 16 buttons on this like insanely bright screen while you're driving at hyperspeed because people in LA drive so fast. And it's so dangerous.

Yeah. We rode in producer Paige's boyfriend's Tesla. It was like. It was a cool Tesla. It was crazy. It was like doors open. And it's cool to have the window. It was like. It was a cool Tesla. It was crazy. It was like doors open. And it's cool to have the window. It was like a.

Yeah. The goal windows. That's crazy. But the door opened like this. Like a side. That is so cool. It raised up. It's so cool.

I cannot stand. I had an Uber pick me up like that. I was like, you didn't need to do all this just for me. I cannot stand the button door handles. I know. I don't like that either. They work great. They're working great for me. I like a regular handle. Yeah. You're handles. I know. I don't like that either. They work great. They're working great.

I like a regular handle. You know. Well, let's go on to our next segment. Uh-oh. Not so quick on the shift, David. This has got to stop. He did it last time. You have no points for that.

No, don't blame him. He forgot to record this one, but he recorded the last one. Yeah. Yeah. No points for that. No, don't blame him. He forgot to record this one, but he recorded the last one. No worries. What is... Do you have this guy stop? We'll start. Wait, what did it say? Oh. Right. You don't look at emails.

I legit don't. No, this has got to stop. This is something big, small, societal. I'll start. It could be personal. It could be big. Mine, this has got to stop. This is something big, small, societal. I'll start. It could be personal. It could be big. Mine, this has got to stop, is when people comment on comedy videos and they go, I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. No, you fucking didn't.

Send me a video, bitch. I've never seen, I laughed so hard I spit out my coffee. Oh, no. Is your laptop okay? Wait, I have to tell you about, I worked with a girl one time in like a theater, in a theater thing, in like a, like in college theater. And she, we were like talking and someone made a joke and she started laughing. She fell to the ground. was like wait what like what's going on you know like are you okay and she was like oh no that like it's my thing like i i laugh and i and i follow the ground and i was like that's your thing and then i saw someone i met this other guy and i told him about this crazy woman that's her thing and he goes he goes oh she's still trying to make that work he knew her from a theater thing before and

he's like yeah it's like she thinks it's cute and i was like but it was crazy it required such a commitment to like anytime you hear a joke that makes you laugh you fall to the ground what if you guys think it's a bit and she's home alone falling all the time oh my god she's like yeah but anyways did you ever have in like middle school there was a kid in my class who just always was falling not laughing like he we would just all be sitting and he would just like, his chair would topple over. It was so weird. His name was Everett and literally like three times- I don't think this is a trope of school.

This is a unique experience. Was he tripping or like- No, I don't know what was happening. He would just go down and he was like always embarrassed about it. Like he wasn't like doing it for attention. Oh yeah. It was a strange thing.

I feel like he had a balance problem or something. Anyway, maybe it was like a universal thing, but I'm learning that it's not. And it was just Everett. I feel like he had a balance problem or something. Anyway, maybe it was like a universal thing, but I'm learning that it's not. And it was just Everett. I hope he's well. I hope so too. I'm not falling too much. Imagine how hard you would have to laugh right now to fall out of this couch. I don't think I've ever fallen to

the ground with laughter. It's been so long since I like truly laughed so hard I like started crying even. Yeah. Actually, that's not true. It happened recently. What episode of ours were you listening to? Ah! I just fell on the ground right now. God, that would be exhausting.

Milk out of the nose. I've had like, where you feel like a little bit of residue. When we did mushrooms in Joshua Tree, I had like a couple times the like, where you can't breathe laughter. I love that. It's so nice to just become

completely like the muse runs through you. You can't control your body. It's like Rush. It's like a popper. Of all the bits I wrote down from that week, I don't think a single one has made it. You were writing a lot. You're one of the most prolific writers in the legit universe.

I do not understand how you make so many jokes so good all the time. It blows me away. You're like one of the best living comedians. I meant to say it earlier. But I had to wait a little while. You're so good. It's crazy. That's very sweet. But I'm sure the bits are fine. Nothing from the shrooms. They were either like

two. They were like so. You know where it's with friends and you're like, Oh, if you understood these first 10 pieces of information, it's the greatest joke of all time. Yeah. Yeah. And John Markle was writing so much stuff down that I felt like I should

write something or I should come up with an idea. And I've told this on the pod before, but the only idea that I had when we were doing this was I was like, well, okay, think of a funny idea. Think of a funny idea. Think of a funny idea. Think of a funny idea.

And all that was making me laugh was imagining my three friends I was with, imagining them at my funeral and how sad they would be. Like just seeing their sad faces because they were so happy in that moment. And it was tickling me so much. And that was the only thing that was making me that I found funny. I love it that you make a sketch of that you make a sketch for our sketch team and it's just us coming out and crying over your dead body

yeah you're not discovering my dead body it's at a funeral anyways my this guy stop is okay when people they pride themselves like I don't even I can't even stay up past 9 p.m anymore and they're like and they want to like lord it over you like because then they're

like i get up so early and then you're sometimes with them and it's like 10 or 11 and they're like bumps on a lot like you're like it's just like this thing of like it doesn't make it better that you wake up at 6 a.m because guess what No one's ever hanging out from six to 8am. You're just alone. So you're just alone. You can go get coffee if you like that. And like, you're not better than me because you go to bed at nine and you get up at

six. Cause I'm like, I'm like, I'm still getting up between eight and nine in the morning, which is a respectable time to do that. That's amazing. And, and I can stay up till one or two and be a normal person who functions

in an adult society. And so I just hate this thing because it always feels like there's a shame around me. My life, I have responsibilities. Oh, I have responsibilities. I have checkbooks and I have, you know, a daycare. You're about to reveal how it looks.

I have a 401. I have a 401. Yeah, but like it's just always meant to shame other people. And I just feel a 401. Yeah. But like, it's just always meant to shame other people. And I just feel like, cause then I'm like, I'm more than an adult. Cause I can stay up past a kid's bedtime. You fucking idiot.

Anyways. Um, uh, that's my thing. Yeah. One of the, one of those where one specific person, you should say that too.

No, no, no, no. I feel like it happens a lot like it's like also it's a i what i don't actually like about it too is it happens sometimes when people are in their 30s and already talking that way and i was like you're gonna live the rest of your life being an old person like you're in your 30s and you've already been like i'm old now i'm over the hill

like cool so you're just gonna do that the next 60 years what the fuck man here's a sister to that one of uh where people go are you ever you gotta watch this tv show oh i don't have time for a tv show and i'm like and i'm closer to like like making that mistake of saying that thing but it's like it's like yeah you could you do you do you can you do you can yeah you got time because then then they know everything about pop culture too. I feel like, did you hear about this thing? And it's like some dumb thing. Who cares about it? They have time.

Everyone has time to watch TV. Do you have this kind of stuff? She's like TV. People who say that you have time to watch a TV show. Because some of us are living different. F-Y. Legit I. And I am busy. I actually haven't watched

like TV in like maybe two years but I know I have time. It's just like in my phone. Do you know what I mean? If I didn't go on there then

but I also like haven't been home really for more than like two hours other than to sleep in like almost a year now because things are

picking back up. She can't stay up past 8pm. Yeah. Just like as an Aries. Something that I'm, what's it called? This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Oh, I don't, okay so

something that I don't like is that I wish there was a way to leave. They need to stop notifying everyone when you leave a group chat because i really have a lot of group chats i don't want to be in but i don't want to like cause the drama of being like rachel costar has left the group chat and i also don't want to like announce it and be like hey guys like i love you i just don't want to hear like every single thought that you have all day because it's exhausting and my phone keeps buzzing and i'm trying to like

um set an alarm you want an an Irish exit group chat? You can like mute it. It's not enough. Like I don't even want to know it exists. It's like so stressful. And then I see I have 100 messages. I get completely terrified. It's a nightmare. And then I'm like are any of these important? Can you just text me individually if I need to know about

anything in there? Because otherwise it's like I don't want to read that at all. And so I think it's just like when your technology tells on you or when oh my god when you un if you're like collabed on a post on instagram and you uncollab because you're just like i just don't want this on my grid anymore because like you can archive stuff that you post sorry this is like me being such a boring loser but like you can archive the stuff that you post but if someone else puts you in something then like you cannot archive that and it's just sitting there. And if you like want to curate a lifestyle or type of brand or whatever, you cannot. Sorry for saying that.

I know. No, true. All the air. No, let me push back. Not push back fully. I can handle it. I think there is like a degree. It's not a full slight when someone that does an episode doesn't accept a collab.

When someone won't even do a story share of a full episode. And again, this is no pressure on you. This is not me. Guys, I will legit share anything. I won't collab post sometimes unless I'm really funny in it. But I will always share. I understand the collab post. Unless I look really ugly.

Do I look really ugly? No. Good. I just think there's all sorts of little manners things that everyone's figuring out. Totally, totally. I truly try to not be too hurt. But I think once in a while when someone won't even share it on their story just once of one thing. And I think.

Who is it? I think I caption these clips and I edited these clips. I know, you guys work really hard. And I paint for the cameras. I don't. And just one story share. If there's nothing, my honest thing is I do go, okay, I will never speak to you again. Completely.

Or no, it's not that. But I'm like, well, you're not coming back on the podcast. Yeah. Certainly not. No story share. No story share. And I get it because the truth is when I don't story share, even story share a podcast episode, I don't respect that person.

Yeah. Totally. I didn't want to do that podcast. I wasn't happy with the product. The only reason I wouldn't share something is if I look completely horrible in a way person yeah totally i didn't want to do that podcast i wasn't happy with the product the only reason i wouldn't share something is if i look completely horrible in a way that is like no one will ever fuck me again or if i say something that is like something that i'm like more secretive about but i haven't said anything so secretive on this podcast so i'll share legit anything

unless i of course look hideous which we recovered that i don't etc and so i'll share legit anything that you said my way and i think that's just like kind of manners and like when people don't it is really hurtful or like if they just like it can say like hey i'm not going to share this but it's like because of this or like i'm only trying to promote this one thing i don't want to get cluttered which doesn't really make sense but if you said that i'd be like sure no problem but there's so much stuff on the internet where it's like um yeah it's hard to figure out the the rules and what's cool. Like someone was someone thumbs up a message I sent and I was like, are you mad at me?

And they're like, oh, I just thought that's like how you say like I read this. That's great. But I was like, no, I was like, that's passive aggressive to me. And so it's like and I think that's like a generational thing. Not to like put us in different zones. But I think that you are probably like a little older than me, if a lot older than me i don't really know i'm hard it's like not easy to tell um but yeah that's like a cult like i think millennials are like thumbs up but like gen z are like that's so awesome yes slay mama i will be there honey i love you girl yes awesome yeah and like uh like yeah

like what i think it is annoying like i feel a need especially with with tova where like of a hearting of the last thing said yes like that's the final punctuation yes because otherwise it's like so scary it's like should i say something else yeah and it just gets to a point where i'm like the heart means nothing yeah buddy the heart is nothing i've given the heart to everyone it is funny when the generational things because i i agree i'm big liker of like like hey so i'm texting my boss is it can you do this blah blah and i'm like yes someone's here yeah Is someone there? Oh, okay. Keep going.

Keep going with the podcast. Okay. This is live. I was saying, but like if I'm texting my boss and he, oh, sorry. We don't usually have guests. Okay. So, and they're asking basically

me to do something i will do the thumbs up like yes got it we'll do that and then sometimes i'm asking them to do something and they'll respond with like a sure with no punctuation and i feel like that's to me is like okay yeah it's like you know you hate me what do you what's wrong why are you mad about it but it's just uh yeah it's interesting i never would have thought that that's a weird thing to and i don't think it is like i think like it's just everyone has like different ideas and usually you have to like use like context clues to be like i don't think they would be mad about me saying like i'll be there at seven you know what i mean like i don't think that's something that anyone could possibly get mad about it's just the like immediate thing that you get worried about or something but um can you

imagine if we never saw john marco again i legit wonder what happened i was like what if it's a really bad guy who's like in a storm in here and like beat the shit out of all of us because that would be so easy to do except they would be obviously outnumbered and we would put it unless it was a gang or like a huge group of people one time with the the door knocked while we were having a podcast and the it was the guy and he was a landlord i think if he was saying he said um it's important and john marco said well we're what we're doing in here is important so okay i didn't say that callously you did we have a video of it it's like it's it was a shocking moment for him to be like i think you're a landlord being it's important let me in and you

being like oh we'll deal with it later it's like what if the building is on fire what okay there's a gas leak no but the problem is that they're there i feel like there's sometimes with some uh apartment stuff where the landlord or whatever they schedule things they do not give a flying fucking shit if you have anything to do. And they'll show up with a crew and they're like, hey, we have this crew there. They got to check it out right now. And I'm like, having a place here doesn't mean you can

just come in whenever you... You got to give me some heads up. I don't like that at all. It's your zone. This is your area. Well, so this is my neurotic brain. So some guy says he couldn't get into the back building, so I let him in the two. So some guy says he couldn't get into the back building. So I let him in the two things. And there's a part of me that goes, hey, he's here to murder someone.

And I just let him through the only line of defense to pretend. Why did he stop at our door? Just he heard us? I am a fan of the pod. And he just wanted to meet us and interrupt. Let's go on to our final segment. You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing.

This is where we say something that we're grateful for. We had a nice negative episode, something specific that we're thankful for. Big, small, grand, minute. What's your blessing? Did you want to go? No. I was just going to say thank God for my psychiatrist who lets me basically do whatever I want. But I want something real. I'll say the truth.

I'm thankful to be healthy. I'm thankful to be getting a car. I'm thankful that the beach is hot now and we can go to it. I'm thankful that it's summer. It's the best season in the entire world. And I am thankful to that they have Ubers and Lyfts in the city. Because otherwise, how would I get to stuff sometimes, especially late at night?

Yes, when I get into it. I love Curb. Curb is a little harder for calling people. But when you get into an existing cab that's right in front of you and link up, it is awesome because it can be so cumbersome to have to plug in all your information as you're trying to exit a car. And you also are stressed for the driver because you don't want them getting beeped at while you figure out how much to tip them, etc. So it is awesome to just sync some numbers up. That's why I have ADD, though. So many times I'm like, get in.

I'm like, I'm going to put in the number before I get home. And then you get home and you're like. Completely forget. Yeah. Yeah. And you're on a really fast moving street. Is it hard to get Ubers here? No.

No. It's no problem. Do you have a blessing? Yeah. I'm blessing. I'm blessing. I'm going to bless someone. No.

My blessing is. So I've been really loving my balcony lately and i think because usually i haven't had a roof our roof access because of they're redoing it so i've been like on the balcony more and it's been like really nice in the mornings and then in the evenings to like spend an hour out there in quiet and it's like nice to have your coffee and it's like oh why don't i do this i mean like i use it but like it's been nice to really use it and like it feels so relaxing to like work out there too and do some like parisian yeah it's been and it faces the park and it's such a quiet street and i was like oh man like what am what have i been doing why haven't i been using this as much

as i could be so happy yeah it's nice. And the weather's been perfect. Actually, you don't have to dox yourself. That's okay. I feel like I... Actually, if I said it, it would be... But I think I've said it before. I live in Inwood. Find him, guys. Find him. Find me. You find me.

If you're a Patreon member and you can find where Russell lives, you have access to his roof. Patreon.com slash downside. Will you do me a favor? Because I know you're going to throw a party there or whatever. Can you play on one like... One where you're around?

I just want to go soap. I want to have one night there. I'll bring oysters. I'll bring something to make my... I'll have to do probably a Monday through Wednesday for you. But I'll make it to make my I'll have to do probably like a Monday through Wednesday for you probably yeah but I'll make it worth no of course of course I can't wait to reset it up I've been just waiting for them to fucking finish it

awful lifestyle I've chosen mine is we I went thrift shopping but it was on the street it was like a guy he had like clothing racks on the street those are the best and I tried to go I've tried to get more shirts because with all the clips, I'm like, well, this shirt's done.

Yeah, you have to. And I got, there's, Tova's really pushing me. That one is awesome. Tova's really pushing me to do a bigger, to like go with the style, to looser shirts or whatever. And he had, he literally had 10 ballet shirts. And like, thank God Tova was there, I would have bought 10 ballet shirts. And Tova was like, one, one one one and that's that's cool and i got so many great shirts and uh the worst thing about avenging store is when you find a shirt that's perfect but there's a stain and

you're like that's too big it's too big i can't yeah but god it was just like i found i found eight shirts and uh it's rb selling stuff find it on instagram rb selling stuff rb selling stuff recently oh my god there was a shirt that i was looking at in november it was orange and it fit me amazing just a regular vintage t-shirt but it cost 75 and i was like well i'm not going to do that but then i went a week ago and the guy was like hey i'm like leaving the shop if you want to like buy any of my stuff it's whatever. We can cut a deal. And his shirt was still there. It was the orange shirt that I wanted so bad.

And he gave it to me for $25. And sometimes you wait for something, you wish for something for so long that God grants you a miracle. I was in Europe. I was in Dublin. And I went to a thrift store. And they had a shirt hanging that was cool. And I said, can I have that shirt? And they said, that shirt's not

for sale and I was like hey buddy what would make it for sale and he's like I gotta talk to the boss goes up comes down and goes 40 euros and I'm like fucking done dude fucking done

you could have gotten so much I'll buy the whole store man I really think like Sundays with Vintage i'm like go because i've gotten stuff overseas where i'm like it's way cheaper i'm like you should do all your vintage shopping overseas yeah because that sentence sounds so much you should do everyone should just do all their vintage shopping overseas. Yeah. Listen, I'm telling you right now,

book a private jet to Paris. And then, but I remember my sister who works at Celine in LA, she brought me to a thrift store and I'm walking around the thrift store and they say, would you like a free glass of champagne? And I'm like, we got to get out of this thrift store immediately.

And there are shirts, regular shirts, $50. No, $500. Like insane. Well, you're there to like mingle with other rich people. It's insane.

Of course. I was having like a Jamiroquai like summer, last summer. And I really wanted a Jamiroquai shirt and they're $500 minimum for the originals. Kill yourself. I'm spilling too much stuff on my clothes to be fucking with that. Oh my God. So this is coming out June 25th. What would you like to plug?

Guys, may you please come to 9 a.m. show June 30th at 9 a.m. in Herbert Von King Park at the amphitheater. It's going to be so much fun. I don't have any coffee or breakfast, but we'll go get stuff afterwards and maybe we'll go to the beach. What is this, a comedy show? I do a comedy show at 9 a.m and it used to be at 8 a.m but i did listen to my fans and they said push it back an hour and so now it's at 9 a.m still insanely

early for a sunday morning and it is awesome uh this one's like pride edition so everyone's gay or lesbian transgender bisexual etc and it's going to be off the charts fun and also i think i'll have like a show in july that you should come to i don't know the dates yet but check it out because i really need people to come and listen to and watch boy room and um follow me on instagram because i'm really trying to get the followers up it would be so awesome to be world famous, I guess. Sure. But it's not really why I do it. I do it for the love of the game.

And shoot me a text if you have my number because it would be nice to hear from you. Oh. But if you don't have my number, I can't really give it to you. No, no, you can't. It's too late. I'm masked out.

Patreon.com. Patreon.com. Thank you guys so much. Of course, what do you want to plug? I'll plug, follow me at Russell J. Daniels on Instagram. And then our tour coming up. Our tour. July 23rd, 24th, 25th, 26th. 23rd

is, I don't know the order. I was so confident. You were good. You were amazing. I was so happy. I was like about to buy a ticket. I don't know the order. I will learn the order. I was so confident. You were good. I was so happy. I was like about to buy a ticket. Oh, I don't know the order at all. Don't sweat. I would imagine it goes in order of how the states work. July 23rd

is D.C. I saw a lot of people in Baltimore. It's Tuesday night. Tuesday night. You got nothing else going on. I know you guys. The 24th is Medford. Tuesday night. You got nothing else going on. I know you guys. The 24th is Medford. Basically Boston on the

24th. 25th. All the way. Note to my manager, it says Medford, Pennsylvania. Okay. Well, it's Massachusetts. 25th is, that's got to be Philly then. Because then on the 26th, it is here in New York City, City Winery. We need you at all of these shows.

All four. All four. If everyone from every state could come to all four of the shows. If we just had 250 of the same people, that's all we really would need for them to come to four shows in a row. That'd be great. And it's going to be everything. There's going to be a cool thing at the end.

Yep. I'll do some stand-up. Russell's going to do a cool thing at the end. I'll do some stand-up. Russell's going to do a character. We're going to have some special guests. Check it out. And yeah. I'm going to get your psychiatrist name after this. Fuck Elon Musk always.

And I always wish, I always think I'm going to have something really clever to say at the end of this. And listen, guys. There's no shame if your room looks like a piece of shit. I used to be like you. I used to be like you. And trust me, one day, you

will fall in love with a nice woman and she'll fix it all for you. This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside. woman and she'll fix it all for you this is the downside you're listening to the downside which on marco cerezi