The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #217 The Museum of Pizza with Kareem Rahma (Patreon Exclusive Excerpt)

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

In this excerpt of our Patreon exclusive episode, comedian Kareem Rahma details the rise and fall of his illegitimate-turned-semi-legit Pizza museum (and why you shouldn’t promise 100K people free pizza), and why adult men shouldn’t wear shorts. Watch the rest of the episode exclusively on our Patreon! Join free for 7 days: https://www.patreon.com/downside Follow Kareem on Instagram, TikTok, & YouTube Follow Kareem's shows: Subway Takes on Instagram & TikTok Keep the Meter Running on Instagram & TikTok Get tickets to our first East Coast tour! We're coming to DC, Boston, Philly, and NYC from July 23-26! You can get tickets for all dates here: https://linktr.ee/downsidepod. Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. And so my biggest financial failure was something called the Museum of Pizza. Okay. Which was in New York City in 2000 and... When was that? It was like in 2018.

Yeah. It was recent. Wow. And I lost a lot of money. Tell me, did it ever open? Yeah. It opened for... You went?

It was after the ice cream. I saw the Museum of Ice Cream and it was so successful and everyone was buying tickets and I was like, that person's getting rich, I will also get rich. So I said, what's the second most popular food? Actually, arguably more popular than ice cream, pizza. Sure. And this is how it went.

I went like this, squarespace.com, museumofpizza.org, what do you have there? Cheese cave, cheese beach, pizza, blah, blah, blah. Listed a bunch of things off. Took some pictures. Sent it out to the press. It went bonkers. I sold $300,000 tickets.

$300,000 worth of tickets in 24 hours. And it was written about everywhere. Well, you hadn't made it yet. No. You just described a concept? I didn't even describe a concept. I just put the word cheese before other words.

And pizza before other words. It was like, okay, cheese. There should be a fire festival documentary about you. No, that's where it gets crazy is it almost was a fire festival. And it was bad. So tell me what happened.

So you sold these tickets for what day? Like what was opening? I think I launched it in May and it was going to open in October. Oh my God. I needed time to build it. Yeah. Yeah.

Or decide what the fuck it is aside from cheese. Cheese, cave, pizza beach, pizza gallery, museum, blah, blah. It's just words put together. It was like I ran it through ChatGPT, but I was the ChatGPT. And then there's

$300,000 worth of tickets and then $600,000 and then $800,000. And I'm like, but I'm crazy. And all of a sudden I'm like, I'm Willy Wonka. I'm Walt Disney. And the more money came in, the bigger the thing got. So then all of a sudden it was like, everyone

gets a free slice of pizza. Okay. Okay. Sure. That's not that crazy though. Oh my god. Brother man, I don't know anything. All I know is how to build a Squarespace website. Yeah. And now I

have 100,000 people coming to get a free slice of pizza. Yeah. Okay. But so surely you're like, oh, I'll partner with Domino's to get a free slice of pizza. Yeah. Okay. But so surely you're like, oh, I'll partner with Domino's and they'll provide it for free. You can't use Domino's if you use your pizza. Yeah, until Domino's was like, where's the space? I'm like, we're working on it. So tell me more.

This is very stressful. You got all this cash. I kept doing, well, and also I've now found out that this is definitely illegal. Like you can't use the money from the tickets to fund the event. Really? You have to have opposite money. Okay. Like, or insurance money, which I had neither.

I like you said the term opposite money. Like, you go to an accountant, like, where's the opposite money? And he's like, whoa, buddy, you need to learn the numbers. The money's coming in. You can't use that money. You can't use that. Because you might have to refund everyone, which was not an option for me because I was spending the money. Can we just say, whoever four months in advance buys tickets to the pizza museum, you deserve to lose your money.

Like, relax. Go order a pizza. Go when it opens. See a review. It was so. Did you start hiring people? Oh, I had architects. I had the city working for me for permits,

which apparently you need. I had freaking food handlers. I had a whole staff of people that wore these outfits that welcomed people to the museum. This was crazy. And I thought I had it all set. It was going to open at 660 Broadway in Manhattan. And then the landlord

just goes after I give him a $20,000 security deposit. And he gives me the keys. And then the landlord just ghosts. After I give him a $20,000 security deposit. Oh, my God. And he gives me the keys. And then he disappears. And then I go, what's going on? What's going on? Hey, it's opening in two months.

Hey, it's opening in seven weeks. Hey, it's opening in six weeks. All these artists want to come in and make their stuff. And then I get an article sent to me from my PR person, who I had hired with the money that I wasn't supposed to spend. And she's like, hey, it looks like the Velvet Underground experience is actually coming to the building that you're having your event in on the same date. What's up with that? And I go, uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Uh-huh. This is not good. So I DM him. He goes, all right. I text him. He goes, oh, yeah, you can't have your event there anymore. I'm going to let these other guys have it.

And I go, it's already printed on the tickets. There is a million dollars worth of tickets sold as well as sponsors like DiGiorno's and Seatless. They were going to provide the pizza. No, they were just going to provide money. Everything was money. Sure. There's still no pizza.

There's still no pizza. There's still no pizza. No, you guys, this is the i actually don't tell talk about this because it makes me feel like i'm gonna have a heart attack it was the most stressful period of my life and i go and this is during fire fest and i'm looking at that i'm looking at all the news and everyone's like this guy's a fucking fraudster he's a scammer like that you're like, that's me. And I'm kind of like, he's not. He's okay. He's just in over his head. He's just in over his head. You see the video of the guy who would suck dick for water,

and you're like, oh, maybe that's how I can get the pizza. There's an idea. And I'm laying in Domino Park, and I'm like, I'm done. I'm imagining the headlines like, pizza thief takes New York. And I'm like, I've had this good reputation. I would hope the New York Post would come up with something a little more clever than pizza thief takes. Whatever, man. Hamburglar.

Hamburglar pizza burglar. And I'm laying there and I go, I can't let this happen. And I get up and I walk around and I just see this huge available building at the William Vale Hotel. And I walk in there. I go, who runs this place? And this guy is just like, Jonah. And so I go into this office, and I kid you not, Jonah looks exactly like Jonah Hill.

Uh-huh. And I thought I was being punked. I was like, you're Jonah? He's like, yeah, what's up, man? He's like this kind of like weird, skeezy guy. And I'm like, I go, I remember this. I go, I will give you a hundred thousand dollars if I can rent this place, but I need it in two weeks. Like in two weeks, I need it for six weeks.

I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars. At that point, I didn't care if I lost money. I didn't care if I made money. I just needed to make this event happen. He goes, oh, I need the weekend to think about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I go, I'll come to your house tonight with $10,000 cash if you sign the papers. And he goes, okay. New York, New York, New York. I go to Astoria with a bag of $10,000. Or no, it was Long Island City. And he was like, you know, I had to run this up with the superiors and it's Friday and we're doing Shabbat so we can't sign deals and blah, blah, blah.

I was like, this $10,000 will only go in your hands if you sign this lease. And he goes, okay. Boom. Lease. He signs the lease. He gives me the keys. And then he's like, go ahead. Go crazy.

So I call. I was in their building. I don't even know how to put a shelf up. I built a fucking entire museum. And then the pizza problem. Let's not forget about the pizza problem. Good God. So this is just getting the museum.

But you put down the shelves. Just the art's not there? No, the artists, I call them. I'm like, get over here. Pizza Beach, time to go. My friend Adam Green, an amazing artist from the Moldy Peaches. I go, you're building a pizza beach. And you're giving him some good money.

How much money do you need? He goes, $25,000. I go, perfect. You're in. Give him the money. This person, how much money do you need to build a cheese cave? 70 grand. Perfect.

You're in. Oh, my God. I need a museum. And then the pizza problem. How am I going to give every person a slice? Yeah. Craigslist. Looking for driver, drivers to go to Williamsburg Pizza and pick up pizzas

and bring them to the Museum of Pizza where they will be reheated in an oven and passed out to people. Somehow it worked. I had four... Oh, we don't have cars. Hurts. I need four cars for two...

No, for six weeks. The expenses were just piling up and I was blowing them up. I didn't care. And you're not even looking. You're just like. Sign, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign. The Today Show came. And you're not thinking about like how do I keep this going for two more weeks.

No, I'm like this needs to open. Make the opening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it stayed open for six weeks. One of the best stories is that the Today Show came with Carson Daly and Jenna Bush the day before the opening. Yeah. And I said, it's not ready. Let's cancel the segment. It's not ready.

They were like, we were so excited, blah, blah, blah. My PR person calls me. She goes, it's a fucking Today Show. You don't say no to the Today Show. And I'm like, I'm already sold out. No, fuck you. I've been worried about it. She starts yelling at me. And I'm like, I'm already sold out. No! Fuck you! I've been worried about it. She starts yelling at me. I go, okay, fine. They can come. My contractors are so mad

because they need all the time. They walk off site. And they're like, we're done working. Fuck you. And I'm like, now these guys are mad at me. They're sleeping in their cars trying to get this thing done. They come, the Today Show, and they bring their children to my construction zone, which they thought it was going to be done. It was not done. While the Today Show and they bring their children to my construction zone which they thought

it was going to be done. It was not done. While the Today Show is there I see smoke. I'm like sitting with Carson Daly like this interviewing and I look up and there's fire and smoke. And my friend Max is like there's a fire. There's a fire.

And I'm like I see the fucking fire. It's the pizza oven exhibit. Apparently a wasp's nest had started on fire and it was going to burn the whole place down. Oh my God. It was going to kill Carson Daly's children. And yeah, it was... But for the segment, were they like cool

or were they like... Yeah, they did a great segment. There's nothing here. Were you able to hide it? Were you able to turn it on and be like, welcome? There's a clip of me on the Today Show. I'm so cracked out on Adderall and alcohol and pizza. Why'd you mix the alcohol in there too? Because I was needed to numb myself. You didn't have to eat the pizza just because you were setting up the pizza museum.

Have a salad. Have a smoothie. No salad. Because there was. No salad because there was free pizza. He's pizza on the brain. He just eats it every orifice. This was my day. Wake up. Sleeping on pizza boxes. My day was wake up, eat Adderall, then

don't eat until about 6 p.m. Take two or three shots of vodka. Eat one slice of pizza. Stay up until 3 a.m. Go nap, and then do it all over again. And I did that for like two weeks until the launch. So you made the launch.

And I lost $200,000. Oh my God. Okay. I went negative. How did people, did they enjoy what they saw? Yeah. It was a successful in the sense of like you made a thing that was fun. There was a movie theater in there that apparently at one point I said,

let's build a movie theater. Where were they airing? Apparently I commissioned six films about pizza. I was on sicko mode. I was Drake. I was Drake. I was sicko mode. Somebody would be like, I have an idea for the pizza museum.

I'd go, cool. How much do you need? They'd go, $30,000. Perfect. Are you dealing with an accountant during any part of this who's like, hey, hey. No. So what happened? It sounds like it was a good, like the reviews said, hey, go to the pizza museum.

Five stars. We weren't getting five stars. Sure. But it wasn't like the Willy. What happened to Willy? You followed the Willy Wonka thing recently in Edinburgh. That was awesome. That reminded me of the pizza museum.

That's you. He just wasn't willing to. Wasn't as good at it. He didn't eat enough jelly beans, I guess, that night to really get in the mode. But that's you. That was me. I would love for you.

You don't be a good, and that doesn't pitch your show. You should bring on those people that failed miserably. Oh, just like they did. Because the fire festival, it's like there is a universe where he just made it. And somehow Blink-182 showed up and killed the show and the water shipped and everything worked. The problem was the natural disaster. I've thought about it for him.

Uh-huh. It would have just squeaked by. You had a fire. You dealt with it. But then problem was the natural disaster. I've thought about it for him. Uh-huh. It would have just squeaked by. You had a fire. You dealt with it. But then there was a freaking hurricane. A fire is different than a hurricane. Sure. He had a hurricane.

It would be like if, as you were opening up the pizza museum, 9-11. Yeah. That's what it would be like. No, but that would have saved me because, again, we can't have that event, guys.

We can't do this. You know, that would have destroyed me because then I would have had to give refunds and the money was gone. That's what I'm saying. The 9-11 would have been bad for my people. Sure, but that headline would be buried. It wouldn't be like, pizza thief steals money to terrorist hijack planes. Wait, but you lost $200,000 I What happens

How do you Do you need some money right now I can't even imagine If you just lost $200,000 What would I do That's how you know I'm the one paying for all these podcast things I can't imagine So this was all being run through A fairly successful business that I had for all these podcast things because I can imagine. But like what, yeah, what?

Well, so this was all being run through a fairly successful business that I had that had nothing to do with pizzas or museums. So the money that I lost came out of the other business's bank account, which is also something that you shouldn't do.

But I was like, well, I'm not going to lose my money. It was just a regular business? It was like a production company. It was a production. I had a production company that managed to have some good deals and we were like, we did well for a while. Did you make a production company. I had a production company that managed to have some good deals, and we did well for a while.

Did you make that production company fill all the pizza movies, and that's how you kind of double dealt? The production company was the creator of the pizza museum. So I lost all the money that I made plus $200,000 from my successful business, which also no longer exists. from my successful business, which also no longer exists. So that is what made me decide that maybe I'm not a good businessman. And maybe I should try something new like comedy or just hosting shows.

Or you're exactly what a business person is. I think about Kevin. I always thought my parents, I grew up and they had enough money. I was fine. And I would look at Kevin Smith when he made Clerks. I thought you were going to say Kevin Spacey. No. Kevin Spacey was innocent. Sorry to veer over here.

Every show I like to do a little segment called kevin spacey didn't do nothing wrong uh but but like i always remember uh admiring you hear the stories of like he maxed out every credit card and it's it's not even about like having coming from money or not it's like it takes a real either bravery or stupidity your call to say to say what it is. And when it works, you go, wow, what a genius. And then when it doesn't, you never hear about them again. Well, I'm convinced that all of the good ideas come from that. It comes from, like Airbnb sounds stupid.

But then there's things like WeWork. Which also sounds stupid. Yeah, but it's like it made it so big and then ultimately there's so many victims at the end of the day. Right. But that guy gets rewarded. I didn't get rewarded. I got banished to taxi cabs and subways.

That guy got another $2 billion. Yeah. Can you just tell me the last part of like, so the museum, you keep selling tickets? Like why didn't it just keep going and you could recoup eventually? Because I think it was like we sold the amount of tickets that needed to be sold. It would have taken more money then to market. Sure. Because it wasn't good enough to be a word of mouth thing.

It wasn't like you have to go. It was like we went. It was fine. Do it. It was a lot of like, it was fine. You know 30 on 30, the ESPN thing? Yeah. Do that for all your fine you know a 30 you know 30 on 30 the espn yeah do that for for all your projects all your 10 failures 30 on 30 it's a good idea oh my god that's the biggest failure i would have gone to the pizza museum with my girlfriend we got stoned we we went to the the

goop museum where we played with like oh yeah and it was like it was like for kids and we're there high and parents are looking at us like and i say parents as if we're not the exact same age. Yeah. Yeah. You may have gotten a kick out of the pizza museum. You would have probably been like this. There was some interesting stuff. We had the world's largest collection of pizza boxes from this guy, Scott Wiener.

Can I ask real quick, how much competition did you have? You got to ask Scott Wiener. Scott Wiener? Scott Wiener is the guy who lent his collection to my museum. Yeah. The Scott Wiener collection. He's the Guinness Book World Record holder. Wow.

He keeps them in his house. There are thousands of them and storage units. All from the same place or different places? It's a museum, brother. No, like... Like he has all Joe's, like thousands of boxes of Joe's. Just one guy who ate a lot of pizza? I don't know.

Just the most... Yeah, I don't know. No, they're from like Japan and like Turkey and Croatia. I was just picturing some guy gets pizza every day and like... No, okay. I have a lot of collections. I don't know why people are collecting pizza boxes. Here's my question here's my question how many of the

same pizza box would need to be gathered for you to go i'll buy tickets to that like i mean like it would have to be it had to be a billion like something like oh we went to the grand canyon but it's filled with pizza boxes i gotta tell you it's not that it's not that much more enticing that it's different labels. What are you talking about?