The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #223 Updating Musicals with Amber Ruffin

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Comedian Amber Ruffin joins to discuss the downsides of strippery first names, why Instagram ads are the best way to know a person, rewriting The Wiz, and why poop is not a good Father’s Day gift.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Amber on Instagram, X, & TikTok Listen to Amber's podcast, The Amber & Lacey, Lacey & Amber Show Read Amber's books, The World Record Book of Racist Stories, and You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/contributor/amber-ruffin/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora today limitations apply must be a beauty insider see terms at sephora.com for complete details hello welcome to the downside my name is demarcus heresi i'm here with uh uh guest co-host douglas goodhart hi hi welcome where's russell uh russell he's at in the bahamas get out of here yeah i hate that i know i want to be there sure i was hoping he'd be gone yeah right yeah well because i'm nice yes someone's great that's right yeah no no no this podcast is about complaining and i never like that guy yeah i agree i agree oh no i feel bad i'm sorry i take it back i was just kidding no

it's okay he can take it he can take it how you. No, it's okay. He can take it. He can take it. How are you doing? I'm good. I haven't been home. Usually I'm on touring every weekend. It's the longest I've ever been back. I feel like I'm catching up on life stuff. What does that mean?

What does that mean? Like returning, like buying. I've been eating. I go to the grocery store all the time, and eating well, and returning packages, and just catching up on emails. And I'm about to hit that point where I go, I don't have any stressors, and I realize there's nothing to live for.

And you know that moment where you realize, oh, those stressors that I seem to quote-unquote hate and stress me out, that's actually the rocks I cling on to in the chaotic storm of a meaningless life so that's where I'm at do you really feel that way? he thrives on drama

and see that's where I think is true I think he's talking a bunch of trash but it's really just the drama sir you're dramatic. Oh, yes. You are. I am.

He's the kind of person that, like, when you're like, hey, how are you? He goes, fine. Yes. Just like... Yes, that. John Markle, you're that. Because, I'm just saying this as a friend,

it's like, it comes from, like, a deep, like, like, notice me. Notice me when I'm... Notice me when I'm... That's, this as a friend. It's like, it comes from like a deep, like, like notice me, notice me when I'm, notice me when I'm. No. As a friend. No. As a friend,

it comes from a deep. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. No, I think, listen, first of all, I've worked on it. I've worked on it.

But I think it's because I don't like, it's that fear that if someone goes, how are you? And you go, good. And then, you know, later that day you jump into traffic. They go, that liar. What a liar.

Things aren't so good. And it's like, I want to be, I want to be honest. Because you might jump into traffic. Listen to you. Your explanation itself is the thing we're accusing you of. Okay, not to be

too dark, but I was saying like, you know where people go, oh my god, I had no idea. They were so upset. It will never happen. It will never happen with you. If you jump into traffic, I'll be like, well, you know, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This podcast was called The Downside.

We are here with phenomenal comedian, writer, performer, Amber Ruffin. How are you doing? Hi, I feel nice. How do you feel? You know, I'm good. I was at your beautiful home for July 4th, but I'm so bad with names. When I told some people casually, when I was bragging to everyone, I just said, Amber Heard is the name that comes to my head. And for

a couple of people, I said, I'm going to Amber Heard's house for July 4th. Oh my God, it's a very different July 4th. And they said, they were like, oh my God. And your house is exciting. So I thought, oh, that's great. They're so excited for me to go. But then after they were like, tell me everything. And I was like, there was food. It was lovely. Everyone was nice.

Someone brought a dog at the end. Well, I mean, we're basically the same thing. You've met her? Surely? Absolutely not. No? I figure she was depressed at some point Also like

This is a secret Okay sure But like if I ever met Amber Heard I wouldn't be able to like Remember such a thing Wait you block it out? She's like eight people in my brain right now I get that

Yeah Can I be honest honest are we talking about a porn star that's what the trial did amber you're a victim of the trial no i i bet you there's there's about 50 000 amber i'm sorry am i what who is this person okay i i used to... Okay, let's not focus on the bad part. One of the co-stars of Aquaman. Girl, she's the guy who divorced Johnny Depp and he went crazy and took her to trial. Oh, okay, yes, yes. She shat on the bed.

She shit in the bed. Oh, wow. She shit the bed. Yeah. She shit the bed. I'm sure that whatever Amber Pornstar you're thinking of also shit the bed in a different way. It bed. I feel like Amber. I'm sure that whatever Amber porn star you're thinking of also shit the bed in a different way.

It's such a porn star name. I have a bad name. All my siblings have bad names. Oh yeah? Yeah. Well you know the way

names go is. Oh. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got gotta be careful I got similar things

My mother has Two sisters And they're named Candy And Kissy Kisten As in K-I-S-T-E-N Kisten

That's Kristen and you forgot a letter Kisten Candy Yeah, that's Kristen. That's Kristen and you forgot a letter. Kisten. So Candy and Kissy. Like, what? That's some shit I would do. My sisters are Angie, Crystal, Lacey, and Amber. That's, uh, we're all... Those are great names.

They're a little bit strippery And even the brother's name is Jimmy And that means wiener So we're all in trouble For me Since we're putting our whole families out on display I'm blessed I'm Ariana

That's my Italian father who kept this illusion Going that we're Italian And then my mom's side, it's Victoria, Katie, Joseph. Okay. Oh, those are good. Pretty basic. Those are very good. My stepdad was from Ohio.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. I think those were great names. I think those were good names, too. They're a little stripper-y. You know it. A little bit.

Douglas is resisting all the porn stars that come to mind as you list your sister's names. Now, the thing about Douglas, and when I first got here, you guys, he did say this to me before we started taping. Before the tape went out? I know everything about porn. I do. I really do. And I said, I'm trying to introduce myself. And he was like, not interested. I didn't even say hello.

You just pulled up that video right out the gate. I was like, I've got to show you something. Her name is it's this duo between crystal and amber this is the downside one two three downside you're listening to the downside with john marco cerezi um by way, if you're a fan of the show, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside bonus episodes, live episodes, and my clean comedy special, The Rats Are In Me.

This is coming out August 6th. I should have told you earlier. God, guys, how about that heat? Yeah. Glad it finally broke. But that's the problem because I'm going to Australia soon, so we have to record a little early

and we have to make predictions. And join the Patreon. What are you doing? Join the Patreon. Join it. Just do it. So we'd like to make predictions. I would like to think at this point

they lowered the age range, so Mr. Beast is now the Democratic nominee. Okay. And it turns out he shares all the views with Trump, so they're going to do a co-ticket together. And they've just called the election early, save everyone the trouble. That's where I think things are going personally.

Why would you say such a good idea out loud where they can hear you? Buddy, that would get that shit done. It would get it done. It would get it done. What a nightmare. Celebrities want to do it because they're like, to be the president is miserable. You have to have wanted it from the time you were like a little kid.

It has like a weird, a weird thing inside you. Like, like, like for the comedians who are like, I have to be on SNL. It's that kind of thing. Yeah. I had a friend who never smoked pot because she wanted to be the president. Really? Yeah. That was her thing.

She was like, no, I won't smoke pot. Um, cause she wanted to be the president. Our very good friend, Randy, we, he was like, I'm going to be the mayor of Omaha one day. And we were like, great. And then as we grew up and went crazy, we made sure he never took a picture holding a beer. He was never crazy out in public. Whenever he got too wild, we would take his ass home. And now never crazy out in public. Whenever he got too wild, we would take his ass home.

And now he's a madman. So what was that for? I think at some point, our generation, there's going to be so many podcasts and pictures and Snapchats. I have to imagine the bar will be lowered in terms

of like, yeah, what are you going to do? Well, it couldn't be any lower than that. I mean, my God. My God. Yeah, what are you going to do? It's pretty bad. You're right. There's pictures with Epstein.

With the 15-year-old in the picture and you go, okay. Well, that's the thing. Imagine being good your entire life and then you get to now and you're like, I could have done anything. I could have been whatever. I could have smoked pot and drank and taking pictures island and yeah oh no why are you making me out it doesn't have to be that terrible island but who's epstein imagine i just don't know anybody i don't know who anybody is wait the dress what color was what dress i don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anything. The thing I wanted to complain about before we talk about you

is I got a new super. And I want to couch this with the understanding supers are probably not paid sufficiently at all. And I stand with the worker. But this son of a bitch

is really pushing me. He's Russian, which I think I'm allowed to make jokes. He's big. Is he really? He's big. He's got a thick accent. And he came over. The light switch on my bedroom door just fell off to turn on the lights in the bedroom.

So he came over. Did not come the time that we agreed on. Never. And he gaslights in a way. Oh, he gaslights in a way. I've never been gaslit before. We're just like, I'll come at three.

I call, hey, three. We'll be here at three. Three ten, he says. Yeah, I'll be there at four. And I go, oh, he said three. He said, I can't do three. And I go, well, okay, but we said that. And he, why didn't you call me?

He says, I can't do three. So he comes. does his wiring things. Yeah. Shows me with the light. Light's turning on. Great. Leaves. Then I realized he somehow rewired it.

No. And I don't know how. I didn't know it was possible. Where the bedroom light has to be on to turn on any lights at all in the rest of the apartment. He made a master switch. He made a master switch. Oh, good job. Yeah.

He knows these things. Me, I don't. Me, I'm scared to touch. I'm going to electrocute myself if I touch this. Sure. That's scary. And so my girlfriend goes to bed before I go to sleep. So it was a disaster.

She goes to sleep. We had to negotiate. Do it was a disaster. She goes to sleep. We had to negotiate. Do we turn off the lights for you or do we leave the lights on for me? Oh, my God. And my super, you see, then July 4th happened, then ba-ba-ba.

And finally he came back and we got it done. But it was just astounding. My super is Croatian and he's been living in the country for The introduction of every super has to begin with Yeah, yeah, yeah Always

But he's I don't know his name We call him I2Fix Because he comes in and goes I2Fix, I2Fix, I2Fix, I2Fix, I2Fix, I2Fix And this is how we get cancelled Yeah It's this episode

Sure Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah The Croatian i don't think they'll do too bad that's all it takes that's all it takes oh my god oh boy but he's um he's yeah he really mr tomorrow just everything's tomorrow everything's tomorrow and one time the like when i first met him this was 12 years ago um when I first met him, the internet guy came and he came up and started screaming at him because of his service. And he was blaming this guy, the technician, for all of his internet and television problems. Not even at your apartment?

Yeah, not even in my apartment. He was talking about television problems. And the guy was... Not even at your apartment. Yeah, not even in my apartment. He was talking about his problems. Meanwhile, this is just a regular technician who's here to plug in my internet. And they got into a physical altercation while I'm just waiting to... Why are you saying physical altercation? Get specific.

Like they were touching each other. Do it to John Markle! And the guy who was the technician was like, do not touch me, sir. Do not judge me, sir. And he was like, I do Vix. I do Vix. You do Vix.

Wait, he kept saying, I do Vix. No, that's just the only thing I think he says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't good. You view your super as the Pokemon. How about your super? Good super? Bad super?

What ethnicity is this person? It's of an ethnicity for sure. If I had to guess and I don't, I won't. You don't have to. You don't have to. Eastern European, that's what I'll say.

There you go. Ken is sometimes You don't have to. You don't have to. Eastern European. That's what I'll say. There you go. Eastern European. There you go. Ken. And Ken is sometimes the sweetest guy. Yeah. And then sometimes he's just a poop. Sure. Like, he will be like, you can't have your hairpin so close to the sink they'll fall in the sink get

stuck in the sink and then what i'll be like bitch i've had hairpins since before i've had hair it's fine i'm not gonna be throwing hairpins in the sink also there's a drain catch fuck off uh-huh but also like i am really nice, but I will match your energy exactly. I'm an energy matcher. Really? So then sometimes when people are checking you out at the grocery store and they're like,

do you have a card? I'm like, no, I got no card. I mean, exactly where they are. It doesn't matter what my day has been. I just want you,

I want to hold up a mirror to her. So whatever. I'm yelling at this guy. That's always been your way. When someone gets mad at you, if someone yells, do you yell back immediately? It depends. Do I care about them? No.

No. No. Strangers. Oh, strangers. Yeah. Eat shit. Also, I want you to feel the way you're trying to make me feel. Really?

Because you can't. Oh, I love that. I don't know. Maybe you to make me feel. Really? Because you can't. Oh, I love that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe you can make me mad. Probably someone could, but not a stroke of a shit about you. What are you trying to do? Yeah, yeah.

But then it can only be fun. I love screaming at cars in the city. Like when they do stupid shit, like they try to turn while you're crossing the thing. It's New York. Sure. And it's like your one chance to be like a New Yorker. Like, I'm fucking walking here.

You know, like you can really go for it. You do the line. Absolutely. Oh, fuck you. Oh, yeah. Really. It's so wonderful. So many people, they hold in their anger.

But in New York, you can just give it to a stranger. Just hand it to them. So one time, I was minding my own business walking down the street and okay i have two stories and i'm sorry no that's great i was walking down the street i know you don't like talking on this podcast but i was walking the street this guy like almost hit this lady at a crosswalk he like was gonna run the light he wasn't thinking and he was like oh my god i'm so sorry the lady fucking cussed him out ran back to his car and hawked a loogie in his goddamn window oh my god amazing and since then i am willing to yell at people like 60 percent less. Like I cannot, I can't,

I can't. What if, what, she spit in his face and she was fine. At the glass or in his face? He didn't like kill her,

he didn't hit her. The window was open. Oh, it was open. Oh man. So she spit in his face. Oh man. God damn.

That was murder. Before that, one time, a guy, I was, I don't think I have a lot of anger in me but i guess i was having an angry day because this man was like beep beep beep beep beep as i'm walking through a what do we call it crosswalk yeah beep beep beep beep and as he's driving he's driving by i I go, get out the car. Come here.

And I was like, I said it so calmly because I so thoroughly wanted to slap him in the mouth. I was like, oh, my God. I got to go. I got to go lay down. Get out the car. That's badass. That's badass. Because I go to loud like you.

I go, fuck, get the fuck out of my dad. But to really be like, get out of the car That's badass That's badass That's really badass Because I go to loud Like you I go Fuck in the fuck Get out of my dad Yeah yeah yeah But to really be like Get out of the car Come here Yeah like serious Come here

And now every once in a while I'll say it as a joke I don't think I would ever Say that to another person again Without like really being Come here I just believe In my head I go

Someone's gonna punch me And it's not worth it Well you You've been punched She's a fighter girlfriend She's a fighter She's a fighter I've said it before But she

Someone stole her phone once And she chased after him And tackled him to the ground Fuck yeah Good for her But no But if I had been with her I would have grabbed her

And said baby it's okay It's okay We'll get a new phone Because I'm like It's not worth In my mind I'm like Stabbing Gun Punch sure headshots

that's the whole trajectory it's always fuck new headshots it's always new headshots that's why I don't play basketball yeah yeah because I don't want to get slapped in the face I love playing basketball but I don't want to get hit in the face and and have to get new headshots you have a really pretty face how often in basketball are people getting face altering? I just feel like people are jumping up and down and they and their nose comes loose. And it's like

dangling. You think it's going to be just like a fun game of basketball but you start getting competitive and then things happen and someone like elbows you in the face. Do you think like people like LeBron as he becomes more famous and he starts doing movies, do you think he becomes the worst basketball player because he's just like

face is most important? No. Protect the face. Like he's a real competitor. I mean, I don't do movies. That's the headline here. LeBron James is going to star in movies? Space Jam? He's the star. Oh my God.

He was really good in Trainwreck. Oh my God. Trainwreck. Guys, it's been a while since I saw him. You're mixing him up with a porn star. That's right. That's right. You're right. LeBron James, the porn star.

Right. I got hit with a basketball in middle school. Long Bron James. And it was like, too late. That was good. Long Bron James.

We'll re-edit. We'll cut it. Edit it so I say it right as he says LeBron. Wait, give it a clear one. Okay. More like Long Bron James. edit it so I say it right as he says wait give it a clear one more like long broad you thought of that just now

yes so quick thank you I cheated some clips sometime pretty badly oh yeah it's like a crowd work clip so they'll be like he never misses and I'm like I don't post the misses I sure I completely edit it to make me look great. Absolutely. And you do.

And I do. You do look great. You do. Everyone's talking about it. So. Can we talk about you? Should we talk about you? Yeah.

In what way? So many. Behind your back. Until I did all my research, I really had no idea how involved in musical theater you were We're big musical theater boys I know I did a show last night I sang like truly for the first time on stage

Oh my god It was beautiful Terrified Yes it is I did a It's a show I tried out called Theater Adult Okay And I had Natalie Walker

Oh yeah how'd that go? Who She came on and we talked about like her theater kid days in middle school and high school and she went to stage door and i read the stage door book and we played clips and she sang some songs from things that she had done and then uh we ended doing suddenly seymour oh my god i started it is so fucking good you were there no i just posted it it just now. I posted it. Oh, you just posted it?

On every single platform in the world. Sorry. No, no, it's fine. I didn't see it. I know I'm muted on a lot of my friends' things. I know I post a lot. It's just what it is. It's the way it is.

It's the way of the world. It's the way of the world. But the first, we surprised them. So my friend Heath Saunders, who I went to college with them, and they did a song from Les Mis as a duet. And then it was Natalie's idea. I pretended like I was just watching, but then I grabbed the mic and went,

Valjean at Latin. And it was very exciting. But it was terrible. I stopped singing for a reason. You know what I mean? Why? You sounded good. You're stupid. Reasons are stupid.

Because I either like, and I practice practice singing a lot but practicing the wrong way or like or like you know getting in my head and not somehow not breathing in a good way and i was just cracking i had enough bad cracks i had enough losing my voice yeah and i thought i was trying everything and now i feel 10 years later i'm coming out with a fresh perspective there you go but the moment i got a sage i mean i forgot how like with everything all the technique you get about five percent of that great technique you were working on because you're on stage you're just like valjar you just start yelling i start yelling yeah yeah because you get so into it yeah yelling is the bad part yeah did you go to school for musical theater? I didn't go to school for anything. Oh.

I've never been to school. Oh, okay. Never been to school. It's the first time I have ever been inside of a building. I never went to college. Not for one minute. Not for anything. All right.

And I never will. Oh, what a nice, safe thing to say. I'll never do. There you go. That's a fucking guarantee. That's a guarantee. If I had a kid, unless they want safe thing to say I'll never do. There you go. That's a fucking guarantee. That's a guarantee. If I had a kid, unless they wanted to go to college for something that was like, you needed that degree, I'd say, don't go. Don't go.

I'll help you figure out, like, fuck college. Because I knew it was going to be theater. Yeah. And then I knew I was going to be, I knew I was going to deliver the mail so that I could do theater at night. Why mail delivery specifically? Because you can't deliver the mail at night. Yeah, so you're just time management.

Yeah. You were like daytime job, mail carrier, that's it. Nighttime job job the best friend in a play totally wait did you end up being a mail carrier no but is this something you actually when you were a kid you were like that makes sense that seems chill the second i got a little bit old i was like i gotta get out of school the second it ends i was like you know what i'm gonna do theater because i talked to a lot of theater people and they were like, you can go to school for it or you could just do it.

Once you do it, you know it. And once you pay for it, you know how other people want you to do it. And I was like, ooh, shit. That's why I'm a little bit wild. Sure. That's impressive. Of your siblings, how many went to college? Crystal, Angie, and Lacey.

And me and Jimmy didn't. You're the middle child. Lacey's the middle child. I'm the baby. You're the baby. I'm the baby. Yes. Were your parents, did they go, please go to college?

Absolutely not. Really? I never got any go please go to college absolutely not really i never got any pressure to go to college wow i never got any well they did think i was gonna go to college because i was um a smart little pumpkin but i was not willing to sit still i didn't get any pressure to go to college i didn't get any pressure to have a baby and that was the real lifesaver that's nice because i wasn't looking any pressure to have a baby. And that was the real lifesaver. That's nice. Because I wasn't looking around trying to settle down. I was just free and wild. So your siblings have kids? Everybody got kids.

That's nice. That's nice. It takes the pressure off. I have 13 nieces and nephews. Oh, wow. I'm so jealous. I want to be an uncle so bad. Your tone really changed. I want to be an uncle so bad. Your tone really changed. I want to be an uncle so bad.

You do? You're the oldest, though. I'm the oldest. Yeah. I'm the oldest. I don't know how to encourage them lightly. Like I could send them... Sexy music.

Sexy music. You know those Twitter... They sometimes advertise chocolate that's like, it'll make you horny. It'll make you... Just send blue chew to my little brother. Blue chew to your brother. Are you saying blue chew? Blue chew.

That's like the popular. I'm dying for them to sponsor the podcast. Guys, look. What I want to know. Like when people say, what do you do for a living? That should be replaced with what are your Instagram ads yes that's how you know a person blue chew from yeah it's a lot of blue chew for you blue chew hymns a lot of

that a lot of hymns which is hymns is a company where they do the hairspray hairspray for balding which I I do that. And also vitamins, because you're a boy and you need dick vitamins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then there's a third thing too. But they just like, they're like, what are men worried about

stressing out the most? For premature ejaculation. So it's not only for erectile dysfunction, but for premature ejaculation. And that's the one where the Instagram really points at me. Instagram fucking points at me for that one. And that's the one where the Instagram really points at me. Instagram fucking points at me for that one. Better that than the other.

Like, how do they know that's it? But then there's hims and then there's hers. There's also like a couple. And I don't know what they're covering. Yeah, what would they? Boobs. Boobs. Boobs.

Wait, what are your ads? My ads are all African print dresses. They got me. Really? You know what I want? I do want African print dresses. I want each one of them, Mugs. African print dresses.

Nail art. Love nail art. Nail art. And then just today, it's big boob stuff. Like clothes for women with big boobs. And I'm like, what? You get a lot of big boob stuff in your Instagram too. I get a lot of big boob stuff on my Instagram.

That's my explore page. Sometimes I'm thinking it really wrong and I think that's so fun. Yeah, yeah. Every once in a while. Now, what do you think led to that? Because like I, for example, here's something that I go, and we played it on the last podcast, but my normal co-host Russell gets it too.

It's Daniel Craig something who is a Christian philosopher, and it's him talking to Ben Shapiro of all people about the proof that Jesus Christ came back from the dead. And it's like a 30-second clip where he goes, the proof is everyone says they saw it. And that's like a 30-second clip where he goes, the proof is everyone says they saw it. And that's the clip. And I'm like, clearly we've been slotted into sad men looking for a community in our 30s. 100%. I know that's what that is. And I know that's why they're like, that's why it's Ben Shapiro. That's why it's like, and also it's so weird because it's like Ben Shapiro,

he's got his YamaCon. It's just a strange ad, but I get it all the time. Is that an ad? What is that an ad for? Your time. They want your time. I'm sure it's an app. It's an app, and I'm sure when you unlock this,

it tells you what's in there. It's okay if you break them. You gotta pay $5.99. So what do you think? So like clothing for big boobs or like big boob bras? Big boob shirts. These shirts are scandalous,

but they hold up my big boobs. Scandalous tops aren't just for small booby people anymore. Yeah. And I was like, none of this applies to me i don't want them things out they are not big how did this find me but every once in a while they'll have a misfire and i really enjoy it like sometimes it'll be like bronzer and i'm like what i think for the medicaid because blue chew like first of all they get a lot

of like young people doing like blue chew ads like matt rife did a blue chew ad first of all if you're going to advertise medication the ad i want to see it going into your mouth and swallowing you got to prove to me that you're using this yeah i remember way back in the day and then a time lapse of the boner boner boner boner time this is partly this is because the the patent on uh viagra ended like many many years ago so suddenly all you'll never see a viagra ad again because uh everyone could make this pill that's why these pills kind of exploded is they could all just basically make viagra and it was all about the branding yeah but i remember snoop dogg at some point was and it wasn't hym and it was all about the branding. But I remember Snoop Dogg at some point was

and it wasn't hims, it was called something else maybe Roman I think was one. And Snoop Dogg, his ad was like I don't need this but if you got problems with your dick try this. And I'm like that is crazy! That you could become the spokesman

and as the spokesman be like damn, you got problems with your penis I don't at all But still buy this And I'm sure they negotiated And I'm sure they said we'll pay you 5 million If you just say that you use it And he was like no way

I'll do 2 million with one step to the side So funny That is really funny What would you advertise if you could? Like, what's something that you would love to just advertise?

Have you been a spokesman for something? I've never been a spokesperson for anything. Are you anti? You go, no. I'd take your money and say whatever.

I'll say whatever. Big boobs? What would you do for big boob clothing? Like, what's something you could really stand behind? I don't need this big boob clothing.

But you might. But you might. That's so funny. I was This is too far. Everything I say is too far and I'm sorry. 400 years ago, I auditioned

for SNL. The person who got it was Sashir Zamed zameda oh wow a fucking real life doll baby excellent to work with a dreamboat time goes by i have a full happy life i cannot stop buying wild fang clothing it's like jump it's like androgynous ish kind of clothes from women yeah sorry it's androgynous clothes for androgynous people sure and then as i i was talking to someone about it and they were i was talking to them about how i didn't get snl's sheer got it then i was talking to them about how oh man i fucking love wild things so much i wish i was their spokesperson they were like you know who is sashir zameda oh wow she has it on it was like that's fantastic that's so funny but yeah so i guess i don't i want to be wild thing but Also, Zara. I shop at Zara like it's my

goddamn job. This shit had to do with Zara. Yes! I love Zara. Those shoes too. Because they're nice. I'm not sure. Did you check the stitching of your clothes? If there are any of those notes from the factory workers that said... Stop it.

That was Zara. That was Zara. Here at Zara, we make a few missteps. But mostly, we're interested in you, the client. I think Forever 21

is the most genius name for a clothing thing. Because when you're 16, you desperately want to be 21. And when you get anywhere past 21, you're like, you just want to be back to 21. It's so smart. Do you shop there? No.

Could there be a version for us that's like forever early 30s? Wait, is that the age men want to be? I mean, I go back to being, I just want to start it all over. Would you? I would never want to start? When I, I mean, I go back to being, I just want to start it all over. Would you? I would never want to start it all over. I want to start it all over starting with, with,

at least college. I think college is where I, where I really fucked, where you really fucked it up. I fucked up my life. Why? Because I went to college for musical theater

at a college I shouldn't have. Wait, so which ones of those, what would you change? I wouldn't go to college for musical theater At a college I shouldn't have Wait so which ones of those What would you change I wouldn't go to college I wouldn't go to college No It worked out for you

Killing it Got no debt I just paid off all my student loans I'm debt free Except for my car Good job. Did you celebrate? Yeah.

You celebrated by opening a line of credit. What was your, because I'm like, I don't know a lot about debt. What was your, how much did it increase every month? Or what was your interest? Interest? The interest rate, I don't remember. I don't remember. But it was okay. It wasn't disastrous. Yeah, Michael, how come you don't know what was your interest? The interest rate? I don't remember. I don't remember. But it was okay.

It wasn't disastrous. How come you don't know what a loan is? My parents had a little bit of money. Sorry. I should have known by the holes in your shirt.

Only a rich person would wear holes on purpose. Rich. That was funny. That was looking good. You got something special. Edit that together

so that it's that, but back to back. And then the LeBron James callbacks. The LeBron James callbacks. The faster money and data move, the further your business can go to a seamless digital future for Canadians. Let's go faster forward together.

In life, interact. Well, when this comes out, there's still a couple more performances of The Wiz to see. Yay! So tell me exactly what you did with The Wiz. Thank you for asking. I'm so excited to hear this. It's so cute!

In 2018, 19, 18 or 19, 18, 19, I got a call from a theater called The Muny in St. Louis

and they are a, they send a lot of shows to Broadway, especially a lot of remounts but that's not true I feel like they were also fun home yeah great theater hi Muni Douglas Goodheart six two actors equity yeah so they were like do you want to rewrite the whiz for us and I was like abso-fucking-lutely and then I did I was like I don't know anybody in St. Louis. I'm going to take a swing and a half. And then I just wrote the craziest Wiz script.

And it was so fun. It was so great. Because you obviously knew The Wiz. What did you see as your goal with rewriting? What was a successful musical? Right. musical right now the whiz is a it did not age in a great way because it's you know it's it had a it a lot of the creative team was white it was and now everyone can tell even white people can tell when a white person wrote a black thing.

And then. Can you give some examples? Like what was, what year did it come out? Was it the 70s? Yes. Okay. Like in many of the, I feel like in the Broadway show, the, I want to say Glinda. One of the, one of the witches comes out on a slice of watermelon.

No. No, get the fuck out of here. Yes, but it was like to be subversive. But that doesn't qualify as that anymore. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Also, Evelyn gets like flushed down a toilet. Yeah, that happens in the movie.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah also like flying monkeys i'm not interested in sure sure sure yeah so that was a lot of stuff yeah it's like okay was there anyone on the original creative team who who was black yeah all the music all the music yeah but like yeah wow yeah sure the movie was a big I loved the movie when I was a little kid which I

what year did that come out was it soon after it was soon after yeah I wasn't alive it was also the 70s and who were the leads in that Michael Jackson Diana Ross

Nipsey Russell Nipsey Russell I started tap dancing because of because of that thing you did really yeah I was

I took lessons but I also put out this board in front of the television and I would do that tap dance as best I could because of that thing. You did? Yeah. I took lessons, but I also put out this board in front of the television and I would do that tap dance as best I could. Oh, that's excellent. Because he was incredible in that movie. Really cool.

You added, Doug has helped me put together a playlist for pre-stand-up comedy shows and I wanted a lot of musical theater in it. Yeah. But you added No Bad News. No Bad News. Oh, that's right.

So good. Buddy, our No Bad News. I know.. So good. Buddy, our No Bad News. I know. I'm excited. I'm going to come see it. It's so good. It's so good. I was like, I'm only alive for three and a half minutes a day,

and that's when I get to watch Mel saying no bad news it was so freaking good every fucking time so i loved it so when you when you went to rewrite so you did it just on on you have you ever done this before rewritten a classical no at this point though by the time i got to seth i'd written you know a few musicals at that point. Something like In Hot. But, you know, the musicals. Oh, that's true. I forgot about. Yes. Uh-huh.

But, I mean, before I even got to Seth, I had written musicals. Sure. Because that was a thing I liked to do. Oh, wow. You've done a full show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the book or book and. Book and music.

Book and music. Wow. Yay. That's so cool. So, then I wasn't. I was like, oh, well, this is a much smaller task. And also the story is there. You can't add their wacky neighbor.

You can't do a thing with The Wizard of Oz where you talk about the beginning of it. A prequel. The origins. You can't do a prequel because that wouldn't be fun or funny. Well, if someone made a Wicked based off The Wiz, that would be fun. I would check that out.

I was making fun of Wicked, but he didn't hear it. Oh, sure. That's not a crazy idea. He's not a big Wicked fan. I don't like Wicked. He's not a big Wicked fan. He's not a big Wicked fan.

You know what? I think Wicked is cute and fun. I see why people love it. But man, during the Super Bowl when they had that ad, and she went, instead of going, she went, I was like,

that was the fucking coolest shit I'd ever seen. Sure, sure. Oh my God, I'm so excited to see that movie. I'm so excited. That's awesome. Musical movies are tough. I'm skeptical. Me too. I'm so excited to see that movie. I'm so excited. That's awesome. Musical movies are tough. I'm skeptical. Me too.

I'm skeptical. Guys, guys. Don't be skeptical. It's going to be a mess. Who gives a shit? Yeah, yeah, totally. But we get one. Totally.

We get one. Two parts. No one needs a musical in two parts, though. What are you saying? All musicals are in two parts. I need you to go back in time and unsay that. The first movie will end with Defying Gravity. And then a year later, a year later.

That's crazy. They will direct to streaming services release part two. Look how sad she is. Oh, yeah. They're splitting it up. They're giving us a year long intermission. No. A year long intermission No A year long intermission

Uh huh Are you sure it's gonna be a year Are they gonna do it in like Oh my god A year That's crazy Yeah Dune

That's so mean It's Dune That's terrible It's a huge Huge mistake It's a gigantic mistake Anything Cynthia Erivo does I'm down for

Sure Hey You made a great decision No but Douglas Douglas We saw Wicked together We saw Wicked together Every Every time I'm down for it. Sure. Hey, you made a great decision. No, but Douglas, we saw Wicked together. We saw Wicked together. Every time they referenced Wizard of Oz,

like, oh, what's in this drink? Lemons and oranges, pears. Oh, my. And Douglas would go, ugh. I did not. I did not. I did not.

But when the comedy is all based on something like, remember that? References, yeah. That makes me, it gets me tired. It makes me tired. Like, this road might as well be made out of yellow bricks. And then the audience is like, oh!

I'm sorry, you hit me. You get me. I was like, I like the reference you just made. It felt really good in my ears. The audience is like, oh my god, because of the movie. The audience became Bill Cosby. I didn't mean to do that.

Oh my god. Now that's someone you can make fun of as much as you want. Were there any Cosby references in the book that you had to cut out? No no but i work at late night with seth meyers and that tapes at 30 rockefeller center and at 30 rockefeller center there's this like big collage of like stars of nbc of the past and today so then one of them a million years ago when i got there was matt lauer and so then the matt lauer stuff happened oh fuck i

fucked it up so one of them was bill cosby and then they all the bill cosby shit broke they took bill cosby out and replaced him with matt lauer and then a minute later they had to replace matt lauer oh man that reminds me my sketch remember my. Remember my pizza place sketch? Oh, yes. You had a pizza place. Yeah. I wrote a sketch about these two pizza place owners trying to figure out which pictures they have to take down. Yeah.

Of their, you know, like, oh, can we leave the Louis C.K. up? Well, we'll take it down. We'll put it back up in a year. You know, like that kind of thing. Woody Allen, that'll fall down on its own. Woody Allen, that'll fall down on its own. We can read it at the end. Yeah.

But. We'll do a dramatic reading. I insist that you do. Read the sketch. Because we talked, I think, in the last episode about sometimes they update old musicals. And sometimes in a way, sometimes I think in a way where I go,

the reasoning behind updating this makes a lot of sense. Sometimes I think when they take an older musical like South Pacific or Carousel, the one we were talking about in Carousel, where the daughter says to the mom, Mommy, can a man ever hit you and it feel like a kiss? And she goes, yes. And I go, well, that's like the historical. It's like, well, that's what history was.

We should look at history sometimes. But other times where I go, well, clearly the watermelon entrance has to go. I only ever look at it like, do I want a 15-year-old girl in high school saying this? That's it. That's all I care about. I only care about 15-year-old children in high school doing it. Because when they do it, it'll mean so much. My God. Because I was, who was I?

I was Princess Winifred in Once Upon a Mattress. I remember all that stuff. Yeah. And it was like, I like to burp and fart. It was fine. Yeah. And I freaking loved it. Is that, I've always been shy?

Is that, was that your song? That's your song? That's right. Did you kill it you kill it were you amazing no it was really really bad yeah okay cool i the day of the show that we taped i feel like we did two or three shows whatever but the day that we taped it i had a fantastic head cold and i was just a full half step lower than everything. Sure. I'm sorry. Oh, God. Oh, man. Oh, it was bad. But also, like, it was a little funny. It was so clean. I think it's

important to know that you were not good in high school. Yes! I think the people that I've met who are like, oh, I was fantastic in high school. I'm like, oh, well, you're living in... just say it to my face you said that no no no but i see myself a little shop and i'm like that's a nice voice you do have a nice but no no i mean there's always acting is brutal yeah the acting is

brutal there's always something there's always something i'm not great at any any part of it but i love it and i'll do it. Yeah. I haven't felt embarrassed yet. I do this moment in Slightly Seymour where I take off my glasses. Like I become the man. And I just like, I'm like. And suddenly I'm like this guy. And it's very, it's very schmackty as we used to say back in the day. But you made a choice.

You made a choice. I did, I made a choice. That's right. You made a choice and that's important. That's important. Take that big swing, bud. So you made this rewrite. Right. And you made this rewrite. Right.

And you feel good about it? My whole goal with the rewrite was like, because that shit is firmly in 1973. Yeah. Like you cannot, this cannot take place in any other year. Meanwhile, Wizard of Oz can be any time. It doesn't, it's not tied to anything sure it's like

the whiz should be tied to nothing because there is no point where anyone should ever say jive turkey also that's always my example i can't remember ever saying jive turkey what what does that what is that what does that mean exactly that's a 1970s term for a sucker. Yeah. Oh. I feel like the crows maybe said it. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, I also changed the crows. Good. Well, that's the one thing that I was thinking about from the movie. I don't like this. What are the crows? The crows are the ones they sing. Man, the crows think you need to be shutting up, man. Dumb as you are.

Yeah. Dumb as. are. Dumb ass. I was like, no. I don't. None of this. Isn't the crows from, aren't there crows in Dumbo that are very problematic? It's the same. It's the same. Yep.

They got a second job. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, they're not great. So what did the crows become in this? It's kind of a spoiler but then but the um it's not it's absolutely nothing's a spoiler you know the fucking show shut up abram

the crows when the scarecrow is like yeah man and these crows are always you know keeping me down whatever he says uh i wouldn't know uh the crows are like he's like oh he's like i can't even scare these crows watch this hey girls rah and the crows are like yes sweetheart did you need us what do you need sweet baby like that and then they like love him too much okay so my dumb shit but like that's fun and then you know it's like you don't need to be able to intimidate people to be worth something, which is double me. Sure. The only thing I love more than a message is saying that shit twice. Yeah.

But like, I just wanted I wanted every I did not want some 15 year old girl to be like yeah I had to put on a crow's costume and whip my neck around and shit sure I want everybody to be like I'm you know this person in my family who really exists or this magical thing that doesn't exist I didn't want anyone to be able to point to a stereotype and be like, that's me. Sure. Does it, this is a big picture question, I guess,

but like, is it ever, I'm sure it's, it's complicated to look back on, because The Wiz is obviously a great piece of art in certain respects. Are you,

it just must be so much great art tainted by the fact,ainted quote unquote that it was a portrayal of a stereotype but we're talented artists portraying it right well the thing is what it was timed out you know because it was subversive for her to come in on a watermelon. It was subversive for them to be like, um, uh, man,

the folk you talk like that was subversive to, because the whiz really like rode headfirst into all the stereotypes and really laid it out and was like, this is what you think. And then black people were like, ha ha ha. That is what they think. It's fun.

And it's funny. Yeah. You know, and it didn't feel, because it was very, now The Wiz is its own thing, but back then it was a black version of The Wizard of Oz. Sure.

So then it had to be very over the top with it. But then, you know, Time March is on and we're like, why are we doing this? To prove a point to who, for what? Yeah, what yeah yeah yeah were there any other shows like that like musicals that were like the black version of x i know right i feel like there was there's one more that i cannot

remember it what no is there also there's an improv show called The Black Version in LA. Oh, yeah? No, what is it like? At the Groundlings, they get a movie title, and then a bunch of black actors reenact it as if it was the black version of Floor Loose or Blah Blah Blue. I think Chris Rock just did that in Netflix as a joke. They did When Harry Met Sally. They did The Black Version? I think so. I don't know. Either that or Sleepy in Seattle. No, it was When Harry Met Sally. It was When Harry Met Sally They did the black version? I think so

Either that or Sleepy in Seattle No it was When Harry Met Sally I think he rewrote it Or someone rewrote it That's cool Fun So All the way back to Nebraska

Nebraska I truly I said when I met a friend of yours who was from Nebraska there, and I said the only thing I know about Nebraska is there's a Funny Bone comedy club in Omaha. That's right. And that's about it. That's right. Nebraska, I.

And tornadoes. Tornadoes? Yeah, tornado hour. You've seen a tornado? Yeah. Tornado hour. No. Is that why you're into The Wiz?

I mean, it must feel even closer to you because of that. Because also at one point, she's from Omaha. Someone's from Omaha. Oh, really? At some point, yes. In one of the versions, in one of the many versions. When they moved to Kansas. We're not in Kansas City.

Yeah, we moved to Omaha, sweetheart. So yeah, she's fine. Omaha is famous for one thing. The Henry Dorley Zoo. Hey everyone, I'm Amber Ruffin, sponsored by the Henry Dorley Zoo. The Henry Dorley Zoo is the best zoo

in the entire world. The entire world? Yes! The best. Now, technically if you look at lists, i think it's like number three or something oh okay really yes it because omaha has i feel like this is true more millionaires per capita than any other american city and then motherfuckers would much rather give their money to animals. Ain't that the truth? That is the truth.

So that zoo is unbelievable. Wow. I just thought that's what zoos were. And then I can remember going to a zoo, maybe in Chicago, to that Lincoln Park Zoo. And I was like, this is trash. This is a guy who just so happened to be a little faster than a cow, a little faster than a duck,

a little faster than a goat. And that's it. And he put them shits in the back of his truck. But it's nothing. If you ever go to Omaha, gotta go to the zoo. Gotta go to the zoo. What do they have there?

Any specific animal? I guess sometimes I measure zoos. Sounds like they have them all. They have everything. And you know how you go to zoos and it go to the zoo. What do they have there? Any specific animal? I guess sometimes I measure zoos. Sounds like they have them all. They have everything. And you know how you go to zoos and it's sad? Uh-uh.

Oh, they're happy. You're like, get me in that gorilla enclosure. It's beautiful. Oh, yeah? Now, should animals be in zoos? I don't think so. I think the whole practice

is gross. Sure. But there's levels of gross. There's levels of gross. This is the nicest. When I was in Singapore, I went to the night zoo. They have a night zoo there. Working on some night zoos.

That's fun. And it was, sorry, working on the night zoo just really knocked me off course. That's not a song, is it? Working on some night moves. The night moves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For what? It's a song.

Trying to get the sweet apple dew. Yeah. you're too young um thank you so the night zoo the night zoo is like well a lot of these animals they sleep all the all day and at night is when they're doing their shit so why don't we but it really is a little too dark to see i was about to say how do you see them oh my god they're fucking over there you can't see it it's a lot too dark to see. I was about to say, how do you see it? They're fucking over there. You can't see it. A lot of it was like, I can't see anything. But then they put on a show with this lion. And you were like, oh, yeah, this thing really comes alive at night.

What do you mean put on a show? They had like an audience. And they were waving meat at this lion. and it jumped like higher than I've ever seen anything jump to grab it. It was amazing. This was a long time ago. I'm trying to think. I mean, I grew up near DC, so zoos were just, did they have the panda? Did they have the panda? And I was excited to see the panda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think zoo videos are the funniest. There's some video that's traumatizing where it's like some school trip,

and there's a monkey or a gorilla who picks up a frog and just fucks the frog's back. What? And the parents go, oh, my God, oh, my God. I just love. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's just a feeling like, yeah, you took the kids to the zoo. This is the animals. Animals masturbating. The parents have to decide kids to the zoo. This is the animals. And the parents have to

decide how to handle that. So that's why I like zoos. I don't like that you said that. And I wish you could reach into my brain and take a stand. Just to see the parents go, oh my god, oh my god. But that's their advanced species.

That's tools. That's tools. That's tools. That's nature's fleshlight. That's nature's fleshlight. Oh no, guys. We used to get, it was like the Father's Day gift. This was

a frog. They sold Zoodoo for your garden. And it was a bucket of all the different animal shit. And you put it on. And I'm sure it was just like the easiest animal shit to collect. But as a kid, you're like, this is every animal's poop. And that's for fertilizer.

No. Why? She says no. You don't need zebra poop. You don't need it. Regular cow poop will do. Sure. Yeah.

Zoodoo. It was the Father's Day gift. I got it for my dad and my stepdad. How often can you get a gift for two completely different men? I got news for you. They hated it. There's no way they liked that gift. We grew tomatoes.

You got them shit. And you basically were like, you are shit i didn't say here here stepdad you are shit this is what i think of you can you imagine going to sleep at night talking to your son got me shit yeah i had a friend um who was dating this woman who uh had a child and he was like i was like so do you get along with the kid? And he was like, yeah, we're good friends. The other day he pissed on me. The kid stood up on the couch and he realized that the kid pissed on him. And he tried to explain to me how they were good friends, him and this kid. I was like, this child pissed on you.

When you say child, what age do you mean? I don't know. But if you mean a baby. It wasn't like a baby. Old enough to stand up on a thing. like a baby old enough to stand up on a thing yeah sure like to stand up like you're old enough to stand on the couch you're old enough to not piss i hate this man i'm going to piss on his head i listen like that you said that listen we talk about the zoo, it gets wild. This is the downside. This is the downside. Oh, this is truly the downside.

Omaha. Well, yes, Omaha. Yeah. You like it there? I mean, you know. I'm a snob. I just even caught my own snobbery right there, where I go anywhere that's not on the coasts.

I wrote a book about how racist it is, so I don't know. Oh, yeah? That's the downside right there. Yeah, the downside's racism. That's usually the downside. Is there a particular – okay, Omaha counts as what part of America? Is this Midwest? Yeah.

Midwest. That's right. And is there a flavor to that racism as opposed to other parts of America? Yeah. Is flavor the right word? That seems too nice. I mean, yeah, there is. Our racism is, I mean, you can read all about it in New York Times bestseller,

You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey, Crazy Stories About Racism. about it in new york times bestseller you'll never believe what happened to lacy crazy stories about racism but our racism is it's like outright but like it's okay so here's the scale right cool the skills you in words f you in words freakingords. And then this is like, oh, those shoes are interesting. Like that. If that's the scale. That's the spectrum. That's the spectrum. Then Omaha. I like even at the best of the scale.

It's not. It's still not great. It's not great. It's still. That's it. Even at the best. But I feel like Omaha is maybe a teeny bit lower than the middle. Uh-huh.

Because it'll be like, your hair is gross. Like that. You know? Sure. Yeah, they're crazy, man. They're crazy. You got to get the book, dude. You got to get the book.

But my sister used to always be the only black person at her job. And then when that happens to you, you have to keep a journal because by the time racist guy says like the fourth racist thing and you've had to correct him four times, then he's mad at you. So then he goes to HR and it's like, he's a problem. So then you have to be like,

okay, here's why he feels this way. Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga. But that's just something. Every black person, ask them for their little note. They got it. And what's the language that they go to HR with? They go, she's fussy.

Right. Because when you say a thing about a black person, it means five things like if i'm late then i'm late and i have a bad attitude and i'm a little sleepy like there's so many things you can't just be a thing because once one stereotype is true many are true man it's a mess yeah it's a mess on this side of the room were you glad to leave i was glad to leave but then i moved to chicago and that was like a little it's the same thing but like so many cops my god them cops tried to kill me like a billion times so it was so funny because remember when they were like stop and frisk is a crazy thing and we have to i was like whoa whoa whoa that's illegal i've been stopped and frisked a million times and i'll be stopped and frisked a million times more

sure i but in chicago they really my goodness i couldn't get nowhere I couldn't do shit I lived down the street From the police station And I was like This will be great Ultimately And it was not It was not great It was not good

And was that in a way That was like different Like they weren't in In Nebraska Were they doing Stop and frisk type things Or were there just less cops around You're not walking down the street.

Sure. You're in your car. It takes a lot of work to stop you in your car, which they did. But in Chicago, I was just walking down the street. And they would always see me walking down the street. And that place was in a white neighborhood. So then I was double walking down the street. Sure, sure.

It was bad. So, yes. Shouldn't have been wearing that bad guy costume. I know. The stripes. You had the thing on. I was dressed as a Hamburg yes. Shouldn't have been wearing that, like, bad guy costume. I know. The stripes. You had the thing on. I was dressed as a Hamburglar. The bag of money.

I had a big bag with the dollars on it. Other than that. Other than that. I was minding my own biz. But, yeah, I would love to have a night wear. It is semi. This is a pitch. it is semi this is a pitch it's semi well it's it's filmed and then there's a person who's kind of in charge and we all like argue what the most racist cities are in america and then we just list them and then that becomes like the list. And yes, number one is Boston.

But the fun part is getting there. I lived in Boston and I really did not enjoy it. Because it was the first time I had seen it on display. White people really, yeah. They don't like, I mean, I don't know any not white Boston people. But it's the white people who are like, don't, don't do it. It's really terrifying. It was the first time I was in college

and I was like, don't do that. It was the first time I'd ever. What did you see? I just saw them hassling a guy, a black guy for seemingly no reason. And it going on way too long than to like, here's your ticket or like whatever. You know what I mean?

Which is how I always experienced cops. Like they were annoying, but then they gave you their ticket and left, you know, and left you alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that was the first time I was like, wow, ever felt compelled to be like, what are you doing? Why is this going on for so long? Yeah. And Boston fucking sucks anyway. Not my.

Not your city. Not your city. Not your city. Not your city. Not my city. Yes, yes. Before we go to our... This next thing better be about racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I... Hard to talk about any other downsides. Yeah, it sounds like it. Hard to talk about any other downsides. Now that we've finished covering racism completely.

Anyway, cassette tapes. So... Now that we've finished Anyway Cassette tapes So So I Recently Kind of Publicly You came out

Oh yeah And I guess I'm so curious Yes Well this is This is where Where I'm curious Because

I I hope I'm not speaking out of turn But at your party I met your Your partner Who you've been with for some time now. Am I right? Is this all right?

I mean, yeah. Yeah. I try to keep them out. Sure. We don't have to talk. So what prompted – you said in your post, you said people who know me. Essentially, you said people who know me, this will not be a surprise to. Right.

people who know me, essentially you said people who know me, this will not be a surprise too. Right. What prompted going, I need to do this in a public forum and why and when and where. And I mean, that's all I know is like, I know the machinations of press.

Yeah. And it's like a decision of a date. You know, you got like suddenly something that might be for someone, something to their friends or family. You have to set it with your publicist. You to set it with yeah your team oh my god how mad do you think my publicist is that i did not do that also like when i came out i thought oh i'll just come out and put it on instagram and who cares man that motherfucker got picked up more than yeah roughing show i was like god damn but i also like didn't the picture had no makeup on fucking look like a raggedy piece of shit but okay i guess

that's the thing we all want to talk about but um i was like you know because sometimes if i'll be like dating someone uh-huh i cannot i it can't all be a secret you know what i mean like because i can't i can't be queer and then like secretly dating you but i don't like to be like i'm dating so-and-so because on i like to go on national television and go trump can't eat my shit you know and then that puts everybody in danger yeah yeah you're like batman you gotta have you gotta have an alter ego gotta at least do the courtesy yeah yeah of being like i am also a part of this community because otherwise then you seem like a like a very ashamed sad person sure yeah yeah um was it was it like i mean was it a was it a big

what made you go like now's the time well i didn't i honestly like i spent so much time coming out as divorced oh sure i don't want a second one of these tours i don't want to do that anymore but then also i just thought i had had the whole pride month doing gay shit and then i'd met so many people who were like oh yeah and then i was you know sad to come out or i was scared and this and that. And these are children. Because, like, people my age, yeah, sure, then they get it. But these children shouldn't be feeling that way.

That's stupid. And I met one too many one of them children. I was like, absolutely not. So then that also made me do it, too. Yeah. But also, like, I don't want you to think I'm straight

sure that's also like a big part of it yeah yeah yeah people are gonna be like where does she get off wearing all those rings well actually uh huh there's only a certain amount of rings you're allowed to wear

as a straight person. I got on four. You have on four. And that's straight, straight, queer, gay. There you go. And that's the order

of the rings. For a man, it's just the wedding ring. Yeah, I'm married, so I'm allowed two. Oh, that's great. I wear one here and then one here,

but then I was told no more, no more. Yeah? Yeah, by my friend Anthony I've been playing a little more jewelry I got a forever bracelet now

I saw that you got a forever bracelet with who? with my girlfriend that's so sweet and honestly when it first happened it happened very fast

it happened very fast you've been together for so long how long have you been together? almost four years in October you got it two weeks ago

it happened so fast no I was at a casino gig and we went to a tattoo convention we've been together. Almost four years. Yeah. In October. You got it two weeks ago. It happened so fast. No, I was at a casino gig and we went to a tattoo convention and then suddenly it was this. But I really dig it. I really enjoy having it because it feels, my father had like,

you know, gold, like an Italian thing but with like the cross and the shield. Sure, sure. I did anklets when I was younger so I'm exploring.

Anklets. Guys, there are no more rules No You can wear whatever jewelry you want For me the only thing is I still go to the comedy cellar And it's like

I don't want to I don't want to have to answer for my anklet Every time I've always wanted to do I like one or two nails and I'm like, but then on stage at certain places,

it feels like I don't want to be talking about it. Can I ask you a question? You're going to have to talk. Can I ask you a question about the comedy store? The comedy cellar? Oh, the comedy cellar.

Yeah, the comedy cellar. Are there any, like, do you catch any of the comedians workshopping their roasts of you like do you like are there certain comedians that always say the same thing about you oh i see you know what i mean like they're making fun of you and so they're they're like workshopping it like trying to make they think it's funny and so they say it every time yeah yeah you know yeah but when you're getting made fun of by somebody who's

just like an idiot like a high school or whatever and they always say the same thing yeah yeah exactly Douglas good fart oh here comes Douglas good fart sure yeah I got so crazy so gaz Somehow it's great in its badness. That's pretty funny. In its clunkiness, it feels clever. Cerezi so gazey. The thing with me, though, is when I used to do roast battles, it was always just people calling me gay.

Sure. And I never could figure out. I did kind of. The comeback I once tried was I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I am gay. I fucked your dad last night. And everyone was like, whoa yeah i am gay i your dad last night and everyone was like whoa that's aggressive and weird yeah and then i the only thing that worked was i was like yeah we're both gay and we're gonna like me jp mcdade he's he's taller than me and i said we're like

the twin towers because at the end of this we're gonna go down on each other and like for whatever reason that's what worked but that. But that was the flip. It was like, yeah, I'm gay and we're both gay. And you want to fuck me and I want to fuck you. And that's the only way that worked. Because denying it, of course, doesn't work. I'm not gay. And then embracing it with the father.

No, no, no. Let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop. Oh, boy. What? We got the singer right here Here we go Is he doing it? This Has Gotta Stop

Whoa, double This Has Gotta Stop I gotta I gotta This Has Gotta Stop Okay Yeah This one's kind of like

Biting the hand that feeds you A little bit Okay So I had a joke online I'll say it just to prove you That it wasn't a little bit. Okay. So I had a joke online. I'll say it just to prove here that it wasn't a hateful joke. And we'll act like a good audience. It was part of like a 15-minute set thing that I released.

And it was, I'm a trans ally. I ran into my old college roommate. I found out they'd recently transitioned. And I was thrilled because I had forgotten their name. And what happens is whenever like a cis guy does a trans joke that isn't the most hateful, spiteful thing in the world, everyone shares it with a, now this is how you do a trans joke. Now this is how you do a joke without punching down. Oh, you got love. Oh, it was love.

Oh, yes. And I knew that. I knew it was going to be received well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nice, tight, clean joke. But there is a thing that rather than just going, great joke, and enjoying a joke sometimes, there's a feeling of like, you see Ricky Gervais? This is how it's done.

it's done and i go like i think sometimes in in progressive spaces you gotta just celebrate something you love especially when it's just a a good clean joke because if you always add the wagging finger on top of it you're not gonna you're not gonna uh uh win any new, win anyone over. And sometimes when something exists where it's just good, I think there just can be this desire to want to add that finger wag. And I think it takes away from the gradual, frustratingly slow, progressive movement of history where people just enjoy things and don't have to see it as, because at the end of the day, it's a name joke that happens to be about a, it's really about a forgetful, or it's like people with the R. Kelly joke.

It's like, it's really a vocabulary joke. It's not an, but the point is, I have an R. Kelly joke. Oh, it's a longer one about pedophiles and hebophiles and ephibophiles. And it's the only joke I've known for people go, you're the pedophile guy. And I go, pedophiles and hebophiles and ephibophiles. And it's the only joke I've known for people go, you're the pedophile guy. And I go, pedophiles, enough, please.

But that's all. And again, it's a lot of people who like the joke and are sharing it. So I'm not trying to spit in their faces. But sometimes you can just go look at this. You can like something without hating that. Or just not to be like, this is how it's done. It just can be a good joke.

That's my thought. Right. Your thought is wrong. Okay. Okay. They need to. Can you imagine how fucking tired people got to be? Being like, my pronouns are kiss my ass

like god damn that shit is old it's old as butt I saw that clip and I was like that's how you do it I didn't repost it because I do feel like that is too far

sure but I do feel like that is too far. Sure. But I do feel that way. But people need to know. You need to know your shit is tired and played. But I think the only way to uproot bad humor is to replace it with good humor. It's never going to be. And we've seen the failure of it. I think we've seen the failure in certain areas of finger wagging to getting people all that's happened

is a divide and you got full shows that cater to to very hateful things sometimes and you go this is not good yeah you can't you can't take the show down and i think like the only way one of the ways to get people out of of it because i ultimately think like hateful humor usually is lazy. It's usually bad. It usually is just more or less an original joke and more just like a callback to old racism. Like it's more like a call. I think a lot of like bad racist or bad. It's just like a callback to an older thing.

Yeah. And for some people, like, hence your point about Wicked that you hate, they go that's so so i appreciate it but i think sometimes it's just like always tying it to saying it makes the people that are already like you know they're going to take some time to get them there they go oh you smug you smug. You smug. Stop being so smug. So that's my thought. But you can disagree. You're always welcome to disagree.

Strong disagree. I think saying this is how you do it is great. I think saying see Ricky Gervais, this is how you do it, now that's shitty. Why? But I do think because it has nothing to do with him sure what it has to do with is comedy sure so i think saying see comedy you have to be shitty it's fine sure nice i like that yeah and then you got it when you see it you might be thinking oh what a nice corner of this topic but you're you might not be thinking oh wow there was a better

way into this i didn't have to settle for that shitty sure thing i don't know cool wait sorry i do know i'm 100 right you're 100 wrong there i win you lose there it is diva this gotta stop i sure do um so i went to rockaway beach the other day. I've been going to Rockaway Beach a bunch. It's been wonderful. And I was in the water, and I hear this, like, bzzz sound. And I look up, and there's a police drone that's just, like, floating above, just in the air. And, like, bzzz, coming down, bzzz, and then going away down the beach. And then, like, why do the police have a drone at the beach you're looking at boobies i know you what you're doing sure you're

looking at boobies even if you bought it for some like can we think of a reason for sharks maybe to look for sharks like uh the drone can't save me. Sure. There are already a million lifeguards. Why is there a drone over the water in the beach? You're looking at boobies. Uh-huh. And then I saw the guy.

He's got his things. I don't like this, like, I want a toy. And so I'm going to ask, like, i'm going to ask like i'm going to say well i'm going to manufacture a need for this stupid thing so that i can be at work and be like like i can't i can't with drones i can't i just i and every time i see like drone footage and movies i'm like you cheated you cheated yeah You used to have to get a helicopter. You used to have to make those shots count. And now you're just like, buzzer.

It just makes me mad. You used to have to buy the footage. You used to have to buy the footage. You actually had to do something. I thought this was more about being against the surveillance state and it was more like a personal grudge with drones. It is about the surveillance state, but also behind the surveillance state and it was more like a personal grudge with drones. Okay, it is about the surveillance state,

but also behind the surveillance state are these like, I'm assuming they're all men. I can't picture a woman being like, I want to be a drone driver.

Women can be evil cops too. They can be evil cops too. They can be scoping out, they can be scoping, why do you see it? They're scoping out your junk. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Lots of people

do. Everybody's doing it. Everybody's doing it. But I picture just like boo. You think they're buzzing at home too just to imitate it. Yeah. It's fun. Amber, do you have this gotta stop? This has gotta stop. The extreme

language of weathermen. Okay. We are in a heat dome oh yeah there are three million people affected by the fact that it's 99 degrees this tornado watch affects eight million people why are we wet just say the thing that it is also don't say oppressive heat don't say oppressive heat. Don't say oppressive heat. I don't like that. I don't think heat can do that. That's not what heat does. I do like Zazz, though.

I like making a big deal out of nothing, but I don't think weathermen should be allowed to do that. I think they've got to fill the time. That's the problem. They could go up and be like, it's hot today, hot tomorrow. Bye. That's right. That's not going to get them a six figure salary and health benefits.

It won't. I mean, the person who decided to be like, instead of saying this is a band of storms, you got to say this front affects and then say the millions of people that shit really makes me mad because it's a good fucking idea it's really good it's a good idea it makes it really sassy I think it's quite oppressive and they just start using all the

language of oppression to describe the heat really build out a full narrative this heat will shackle over three million people what happens when a beach day is deferred This heat will shackle over 3 million people. What happens when a beach day is deferred? Yeah, yeah. I like to picture the sun being like,

I'm not trying to do that at all. Just kind of offended by that. I would never oppress anybody. I'd oppress everyone equally. I'm just smiling at everyone. My best friend is a human being. Yeah. And let's go on to our final segment. You better count your blessing.

You better count your blessing. I'll go first. My blessing is Natalie Walker, who was my guest for Theater Adult. Just a perfect guest for this thing. I needed someone, because sometimes with straight-up Broadway people, you know, they can be very... Watch it. They're not all comedians.

Watch it. They're not all comedians. Some of them just put on a happy face, and they won't talk. They won't talk, and they won't talk about the shitty things. And Natalie is also just so funny.

I love her voice. The part of me that when I see a woman belt, there's that feeling of just like, oh. And to be on the stage like this, with the person belting like that, it makes me feel as close as I could be to being that person wailing.

And that's the fantasy in my head. Like when I listen to women belt, in my mind, there's this weird like a first person, third person imagination thing where I'm doing it and everyone shocked that I'm able to to belt like that yeah that's part of the Hill narcissistic fantasy I have listening to music you have to sing with her right I got to sing with her I mean but that's that's like all I want for musical theater is like just that way and it was just so cool and well harmonizing to with someone. You did it! It's a really good feeling.

That's why people fall in love with their co-stars. Because you're singing at that wavelength and it's like, wah, wah, wah, I love you. Wah, wah, wah, wah. It's a real thing. Well, what is singing? It's just like a mating call evolved into sustaining it longer.

Very nice. Look at you. That's the title of his album. A mating call sustained. Jimarco sings song name hits. Everybody says don't. Everybody says don't. I would love to see you sing that song.

Oh, God. I say I'm so nervous because I took these voice lessons. It's been over a decade. And there's just that moment where someone goes like, try breathing here. And suddenly you can sing again. And you're like, and the thing is, I don't want to be the bad singer like overstaying his welcome. You know, I don't want to think I'm better than I am.

Okay. But God, do I have sometimes I I sang the G I sang the G In Suddenly Seymour Great And oh man It didn't crack it I felt so fucking cool Good for you

It was really good So Yes I gotta watch it If I didn't hit that G That clip would not have gone out I'll tell you that much There you go

If I went to Boop boop boop What's your blessing? My blessing is You know My gym The Blink in Astoria, Queens, the vibe in there has been really great. Like lots of like lots of like people dapping each other and like and like like being nice to each other.

I have that now a very like very superficial relationship with like a bunch of dudes there where it's like hey why won't you do it with me oh i couldn't i couldn't tell like like hey like walking into the gym being like hey man hey man you know like and like people being nice and like it's very overcrowded and so everyone's kind of like sharing and and caring and it's been nice and like you I I've always kind of felt in that gym culture at least for me has been like if you ask a question these these people are willing to like help you sure you know I came in what's can you help me with this or you know I'm having an elbow pain like oh yeah like these big beefcake dudes being like oh yeah you gotta work out this and stuff like that yeah really

nice the reason I didn't tap you I had a college I had a voice teacher who saw a like these big beefcake dudes being like, oh, yeah, you got to work out this and stuff like that. It's been really nice. The reason I didn't dap you, in college I had a voice teacher who saw a show, and after the show came up to me, and he was like an older in an opera, and he came up to me and he said, good work, and he went like this, and I dapped him, and he said, support.

Remember to have support. Oh. So he was giving me a note with his fist to be like, have support. Well, he put it out there, and I thought it was a dap, and I did it, and he looked like, it was as if you were talking

to me, I was like, that's how he reacted. And it was so, and someone was there who understood everything that had happened in a humiliating way. Jamarco refuses to dap anybody.

Never. Do you have a blessing to see us off? Yes. My blessing today is the same as my blessing every day, literally twice a week

since time began. It's the Cheesecake Factory and I. It's the Cheesecake Factory. And I am sponsored by the Cheesecake Factory. Yes. They're the single best place to eat on planet Earth. You can go there when you're sad. And they'll make you feel better. You can go there when you're happy.

And they'll make you feel better than you felt. Fucking nothing, nothing is tastier than the Cheese factory i stand by that i've yet to be proven wrong it's the most delicious place on planet earth all their food is perfect including the cheesecake all of the drinks it makes me so happy every time i go there i dance in my seat this is not a bit these are my real feelings This is because it was part of your childhood too? Like did you have major events there? Birthdays? No, we didn't go to no Cheesecake Factory.

Really? Later in life? I was like a rich person. Later in life Cheesecake Factory. Cheesecake Factory came because. Later in life a lot of things. Cheesecake Factory came along because we had a second city in Denver. And we were doing second city Denver.

And where our apartments were, there was a Cheesecake Factory around the fucking corner. And then for the first time in my life, I had like a real good paying job. No debt. And just money to fucking burn. And I ate that money at the Cheesecake Factory. I will say as a person, as a bigger person, I have like portion anxiety at restaurants sometimes. Like,

like, like I'll be like, I wonder if this is enough food. But at Cheesecake Factory, you don't have to worry about that it's all enough food it's always like a big

the plate comes and it's huge and you're never like you're just like I'm always just like oh wow there's always food to take home

there's always food to take home and that's really nice you know sometimes have you ever been in a like you're with a group and they order something and you're like, damn, I should have gotten that.

There's plenty. Everybody can have a bite. Everybody gets a bite at the Cheesecake Factory. How does this podcast not have a sponsor yet? I swear to fucking God. Why won't they sponsor me? You'd be fun to go to the Cheesecake Factory with. That sounds like fun.

I'm there all the time. They'd be fools to sponsor me. They can have every dollar I have. Why would they pay me when I'm going to pay them? So again, this is coming out August 6th. What do you want to plug? Where can people find you? Hey, everybody.

Welcome to fun. Watch. That sounded like a threat. Welcome to fun. Late Night with Seth Meyers. watch that sound like a threat welcome to fun late night with seth myers you watch that on nbc fucking um watch um listen to uh you'll um wait wait okay so buy a book it's called you'll never believe what happened to lacy crazy stories about racism and then the second book which is called the world record book of waste the stories but then also our podcast is called the amber and lacy lacy and amber show which i did if you want to hear my episode and then there is a nothing nope and stuff so great google it

uh we'll put links to all that below, including social media. Douglas, anything you want to plug? You can follow me at TheDouglasG. TikTok and Instagram, funny songs and crazy characters. Amazing. Guys, the three of us have to sing a song together. You said you wouldn't sing in the beginning.

I mean, it sounds bad. I said I shouldn't. I didn't say I wouldn't. We're going to have a karaoke night. Sure. Oh, my God. Sure. Listen, there's more and more comedians with musical theater backgrounds these days. We're out there.

Yeah. We're out there in these streets. How about you? You usually don't plug anything. Why don't you plug something for us? I am currently, when this is coming out, I will hopefully, should no disasters have occurred to me, be in Australia. And August 7th, I'll be in Melbourne.

August 10th, Sydney. August 11th, Auckland. And then I'll be back in the States at Dr. Grin's Comedy Club, Grand Rapids, August, I think, 22nd through the 24th.

So, Australia, check it out. And then I'll be back in the States. And, again, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside.

And in the meantime, just ease on down. Yay. Ease on down the road. The road. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.