The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #224 Serial Sperm Donors with Laura High (Patreon Exclusive Excerpt)

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

In this excerpt from a Patreon exclusive episode, comedian Laura High shares the downsides of being a donor baby, unregulated sperm banks, and serial donors pushing natural insemination.  Watch the rest of the episode exclusively on our Patreon! Join free for 7 days: https://www.patreon.com/downside Follow Laura on TikTok, Instagram, X, & YouTube Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora today limitations apply must be a beauty insider see terms at sephora.com for complete details i'm sort of colloquially known as colloquially known as your donor conceived person of tiktok i'm a sperm donor baby and so what i do is essentially expose how the fertility industry actually works because it is unbelievably unethical it is founded in eugenics it's famously racist and it's just it's it's really bad and so trying to get regulations passed so can I ask these regulations the concept of a sperm bank is is there is there a viable version of it there is okay I massively

behind there are so many other countries that have basic safeguards and i mean we're asking for the equivalent of a seat belt for example there isn't a cap on how many babies can be made from one donor like i don't feel like that's rocket science to add it that's not gonna like end a sperm bank so other countries have like this sperm you can only make 10 babies uh like the uk has what's called a 10 family limit. So one donor is only allowed to donate for 10 families. Wow. Wow. Now,

has anyone here, has anyone here given sperm? Are one of you my father? I, we, I think we talked about it, but I, I don't think I,

I'm not in a place to do it yet. What does that mean? To give sperm. Have either of you taken a DNA test? No. No? You might be donor... Well, I mean, okay, John Marco...

Wait, we might be donors? You might be donor conceived. But John Marco... You mean our parents didn't tell us? Is that what you're saying? Oh, very easily. I talk to donor conceived people all the time who found out when they were 50 years old.

That'd be the greatest day of my entire life. Okay. Well, John Marco, I know how you talk about your father and how he is a little loosey-goosey. It sounds like your father- What a word to capture the unethicalness of my father. I feel like your father easily could have been a sperm donor. Oh my God. You're saying I have siblings out there?

Very easily. I could totally see that. You're right. That's not insane. No. You needed some money in college to get to Woodstock. Did you ever think about donating sperm? No.

If I don't have kids, I think a part of me that would be nice to be like, Oh, there's me out there somewhere you wouldn't think it wouldn't be cool at all you're 70 no what you're walking around this is so disturbing as a democracy person to listen to because it's all just mine it's just so disturbing that it's like you're looking at it's like oh my narcissism will live on yeah yeah that's i mean you sound like literally this is what the doctors who switch out the sperm say okay that's literally what they say but if it's done ethically is it okay to be like oh it's it's cool i like the idea of me uh uh continuing on is is that even that thought that's inherent i would i would. I would say pick a different hobby.

Sure. Maybe a different stream of income. Aim elsewhere. If your first thought isn't, I'd like to help out other families, then I would keep it for yourself. That was going to be my secondary thought, to be fair. And you found out at what age did you know?

14. 14. 14, wow. I forgot it was that late. So, and you found out at what age did you know? 14. 14. 14, wow. 14. I forgot it was that late. Yeah, late. That was for my age. That's incredibly progressive.

But that, it's incredibly progressive. Most people my age never, because I'm 20. Sure, let's keep going with it. Because I literally yesterday just turned 36. And so, thank you. You're not the oldest one on this panel here. Russell's 45. Oh, I'm not.

You always age me so much higher. So you have to reveal the real one. So basically for my age group, that's incredibly progressive because most of the doctors at the time when I was made, not conceived, made, felt like a Toyota. So don't get it wrong. But we, all of the doctors were telling our parents, don't tell your child they're donor conceived. That was literally medical standard practice up until about 2010. Were there any, when you were growing up, like, were you like, oh, no one ever said I look like, like, did people say to you, you look like your dad or, you know, your dad's wasn't

there. No, my dad was there. My dad was there. Oh yeah. My dad, my dad, I texted him yesterday. Yeah. No, he's, he's, he's there. He's my father. But were there, looking back pre 14, were there any like, Oh yeah, we, I didn't have that in common or, Oh, um, everybody assumed that i was jewish uh-huh that was that was sort of the the like ding something because i was like i'm not jewish i'm catholic what are you what are you talking about oh wow yeah so that was the big thing because like even when i was like i talk about this my stand-up but when i was 12 years old some like jerk kid ran up to me and was like how'd you escape from the camps? Oh, my God. I didn't know what that meant.

I was 12. So all I said was I faked a fever and my mom picked me up. I mean, it's one thing to learn that you're a donor baby, but then at the same time to also learn you're a Jew. That is a tough slate. Okay. I will say my donor is not just Jewish. This is completely true. He is. I have found him.

He is an OBGYN Orthodox Rabbi Moyle. Wow. I've written to him a few times. He has not gotten back. Wait, so an OBGYN, that's, forgive me. You answer so I don't look like an idiot. What do they cover? No, no, no.

What is it, John Marco? Vaginas. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yes, vaginas. But it's kind of funny to be like, yeah i specialize in vaginas also baby penises i'll also cut a little bit off a baby penis it feels just like he's very genital focused how old is he um i don't know i mean i believe he's probably late 60s early 70s i've never fully talked to him no i've never talked to him he has both me and one of my donor

conceived siblings have reached out to him and he has not gotten back to us. I'm sure he's just like, I will not verify that he did this. He's also a real shit dude. So, like, I stalked him on Facebook. He's a shit guy. Yeah, politically. Politically, yes.

Voting for Biden? We're joking. RFK. We're an RFK podcast. Okay. So as we do this live, we kind of wanted our guests to bring something specific. And one thing that you've been talking about or exploring recently, are they called super donors?

Is that what they're called? Ew, no, don't give them too much of a platform. They're called serial donors. Serial donors. I'm sorry, I can't help it. I know it's childish, but the word serial, I think a serial isn't enough to fill up the serial.

They're gonna listen to that and literally put that on a fucking t-shirt now. They're gonna quote you. Super donors, John Marcos, are crazy. They're gonna to listen to that and literally put that on a fucking t-shirt now. They're going to quote you. They're going to put you now on their website and be like, John Marco approved super donors. Yeah, that's what they're going to do. So serial donors. Yes. Now,

so this is someone who donates just a shitload. Just a shitload. Most of these guys are freelance. They donate through Facebook. Many of them go on what's called sperm tours and literally travel the world impregnating people. Oh, don't worry. This is going to get worse. Impregnating at a sperm bank?

No, God, no. No, no, no, no. They impregnate completely freelance. Most of these guys push what's called natural insemination. We can all guess what that means. They make the woman, like woman get a hotel room. And because what they insist is that natural insemination heightens the chance of pregnancy versus artificial insemination,

which is not true. That's never been proven. And all doctors who've done research on this have been like, that's bullshit. Wait, so this is done through Facebook? Yes. There's huge Facebook groups. One of them has 30,000 members. Wait, so this is done through Facebook? Yes, there's huge Facebook groups. One of them like has 30,000 members.

Oh my God. There's women young enough to have kids on Facebook. It just seems like such an old person thing now. What's the pitch exactly? To be fair, the pitch is actually, I will say I understand why this exists. And this is a problem that the fertility industry has caused. The fertility industry is insanely expensive.

One vial of sperm can run easily $2,000. And you have to remember. No, no, no, no, no. It gets worse. It gets worse. It gets worse. Millions slip through my fingers. Oh, my God.

Oh, the money. All the money down the drain. You don't get the $2,000. Oh. Yeah, you don't get the two thousand dollars oh yeah you don't get that okay wow we were like we just received our bank account i mean i i think the fact that they're charging two thousand dollars is insane too like no one should charge more for sperm than we do for saffron i mean yes saffron takes hours of manual labor, plucking flower petals. Like, to get sperm, all you need is Wi-Fi. Like, this is not hard.

But, okay, so usually sperm donors in the United States get paid about $100 to $150 per donation. Then what the sperm banks do is they don't take that one lump donation and sell it. They break it up into multiple sellable vials, depending on how much mass the donor is able to donate and how fertile he is So we've heard and wait you can't just ask if if one do they do they weigh it and you get it per you know? Gram like is do they do they pay you for one load? It's just like a lot or a little Pay you for one load So you would get for your load no matter how much you donate. If I was bringing a load over, I'd be like, oh, God, I need some help holding this load up.

Maybe an extra 20? Unfortunately, they do test it out, but they can split a vial of sperm, again, depending on the mass and how fertile you are, between three vials. But the highest we've heard is 19. and how fertile you are between three vials, but the highest we've heard is 19. So you might get $100 to $150 per that donation, but they easily, for every single one of those vials, can sell it for $2,000 each. So because of that, some guys have said,

here's a market. And we won't charge. And on top of it as well, there's a lot of racism in the industry. So right now, even into this day, And on top of it as well, there's a lot of racism in the industry. A lot of racism in the industry. So right now, even into this day, only 2% to 5% of active donors in the United States are black. And if you go into donor catalogs, even right now, which you totally can with any major cryobank, you can see how little the diversity is.

It's a huge problem. We've had recipient parents of color trying to find donors that match their family's ethnicity. They are unable to find it, so they end up having to choose a white donor. What does that sound like? And so they use these online private Facebook groups to find a donor that matches their ethnicity, and that isn't going to end up costing, because you can drop $10,000 on donor conception like that most of the times, and that doesn't even include IVF, if you have to do IUI, any of those things.

Okay, so these guys make a group and they say, now are they charging for this? Usually, a lot of them, I would say don't. So they're just going around? Usually they say, you just have to pay for my travel, my hotel room.

Some of them do, but most of them do it completely for free. The love of the game. Usually they do it because for them, they get it for them. This is just part of their breeding kink. Like this is, they're getting paid.

Yeah, I can, I can listen. I can see why. I mean, but it's just clear. So for them, when they talk about it,

are these just guys who are just 1.5, 6? Or are these guys that have a breeding kink, as you said? They really love the idea? I would say it depends. I think some of them just think, oh, cool. But I think there are some that have, you know, there are serial donors that have 80 children globally, 130 over 500.

So, yeah, I feel safe in saying that maybe we might be looking at a breeding kink. And I also feel also safe in saying some of them, like, kind of hate women. Sure. Kind of do. So, and this isn't me. I'm not trying to be devil's advocate here sure, but my question is like in any in any respect would there be an a you know, let's let's say a Insulin costs a lot of money and someone they can make insulin on their own like like basically they're able to do they're able to offer something that this person is looking for so is there any what makes it unethical I can understand the

concept of you'd making 500 there's something fucked up about it you know accidental incest definitely on the table okay which has happened in our community really oh. If you actually look it up, if you type in, I'm actually even quoted in the article as well. I got this story to CNN, but if you type in Google CNN, Victoria Hill, it'll pop up. It was the very first donor conceived person to come forward as a victim of accidental incest. She found out literally last year that her high school sweetheart of two years was her half-brother. And there's more cases of it,

but she was the very first one to come forward. She was incredibly brave. But yeah, no, that was a rough one. Okay, so that's a point against it for sure. One strike. One strike. One strike. I would say to make it ethical is it has to be legally done.

You can do donor conception outside of the industry, but there is a legal protocol that you have to take. And the reasons for the legal, I imagine there's health history is important to have. Well, the health history, yes, 100% that is, but that isn't part of, I would say, saying that that's part of the legal, that doesn't make it a legal donor conception. But that's why you want it to be legal. It's like, so why should this industry be something that functions within the law? want to regulate the fertility industry so that recipient parents and donor can see people have access to an updated medical history so that there's an actual family limit so that doctors

aren't able to sexually assault their patients and get away with it. Absolutely. But in terms of making it a legal donor conception outside of the industry, it's more about the actual correct procedure to terminate parental rights for the donor. And to ensure that recipient parents can't come back and try and get child support. So is that what's happening with some of these guys? Yes. So what is happening is if you don't do a legal donor conception, that donor is technically the real parent.

Sorry, the legal parent. So what also then you have another layer on top of it. During this like fun political time we are in where like, you know, a little bit of queer phobic here, you could be in a state that doesn't really recognize queer rights. And if that donor doesn't have actual like their parental rights haven't been severed enough, you have now opened up yourself for a donor to come in and take custody. Or hypothetically, what if that donor dies and there was and his parents in their mourning are like we want that kid and has says this this has happened these kinds of things have happened where yes and like i would imagine in a healthy legal system you'd be like well your honor he's part of the facebook group i'm just fucking so you can have the baby and but but

this doesn't work that way it does yeah it just it basically completely opens you up for a legal nightmare and that's the thing like we just it's like no no no no the parental rights need to be severed um with the donor and it's and it's like we love open communication with the donor and the recipient parents that's great give updated information, but for God's sakes, like make it legal. Like, and that means you can't have sex with your fucking donor. That completely terminates everything.

If you have sex with the donor in the United States, then that throws any legal agreement out the window. Wow. Could there, and there's obviously, they're, they're, they're pitching it. They're like, it's obviously... They're pitching it. They're like, it's better for the baby if it's straight from the source. That you have a higher chance of pregnancy.

That's what they say. That's what they say. They love to say that. They love to sound like experts. Now, last question I'll ask. Okay. Is there any theoretical world where a sperm bank could facilitate and they say, oh, you want to do it? Sex?

Okay. Just curious. I'm just saying inherently if we're being completely non-puritanical and we're saying you want to do it like you feel like it's done in the wild. If we could have the legal infrastructure to support natural insemination to become a legal donor conception, sure. Rock on. I guess, yeah, we got to figure out the sex work aspect of all of America first. I mean, sure. If it could be like legally still. I mean, I don't know what needs to happen if there needs to be like a witness to go like, yes, this was still a donor conception. Like, I don't know what needs to happen if like a there needs to be like a witness to go like yes this was still a donor conception like i don't know what needs to happen but yeah i like if legally we could make it sound

then sure rock it out but we just we're not in that world so your devil's advocate was just your italian dad hey uh so this is what i say you know can i be with this group?