The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #226 Florida Man Adopts Baby with Mike Lawrence

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Writer and comedian Mike Lawrence joins to share the downsides of writing on a never-aired Louis CK cartoon, why Florida is the sh*t stuck at the bottom of the melting pot, experiencing two failed adoptions, being so autistic you didn’t know you were autistic, and why roast battles are all about being true to yourself. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Mike on Instagram See Mike opening for Pete Davidson on the road Watch The Roast of Tom Brady on Netflix Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older ontario only please gamble responsibly gambling problem for free assistance call the connex ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600 that mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario welcome to the downside my name is jim Oresi. I'm here with my sweaty co-host. Oh, yeah. Russell Daniels. A little moist around the lips. Yeah, a little moist. Watch the YouTube guys. Well, I tried a new face cream. So it feels like it's like, you know, when you put like a sunscreen on or something. Actually, it makes you more moist. Sure. That's why I don't do anything. I know. Well, I don't.

And then I was like starting to, I've been trying to like do more. Just like normal, like if you're going out, like that kind of thing. You saw the YouTube comments. No, I didn't. Is there, was there one? Do you have a skin routine? No, I look like this. Sure. I know it's a podcast, but it's also filled.

Yeah, no, I do not. Beard helps. Not taking care of of it that's my skin routine beard help but are you doing beard oil no nothing me neither no I do whatever my wife asked me to do and that's it sure sure she ever say like hey let's cut the nails no but she'll say

let's cut the beard you know really or the sun will grab on the beard and it hurts too much I'm like alright I gotta cut it now oh the sun oh kid okay yeah yeah son will grab on the beard and it hurts too much. I'm like, all right, I got to cut it now. Oh, the son. Oh, kid. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, you know, the the raisin brand son

with its two scoops drops the scoops and then grabs my face. Yeah, I have a child. Well, we'll get to your child in a second. I did want to share a message I got from sometimes people write asking if they could do the show. Oh, and did want to share a message i got from sometimes people write asking if they could do the show oh and they they try to make a strong pitch um and uh i want to i want to read

this pitch exactly as it was here we go i just you know from my search box all i put in was gay and you'll see why okay um subject survived gay serial killer but i'm now the bad guy good hook gotta say it's a good pretty good hook um uh and listen i don't know if i should say if if he says he's a big fan so if he hears this write me okay write me let's see if how big a fan you are i was a savvy model actor stand-up comic always always a savvy model actor stand-up comic. Always a warning sign when stand-up comic is third in that list. Just throwing it out there. Always a warning sign when savvy is first.

I was a savvy model actor stand-up comic attacked during my role in Tim Burton's Planet O the Apes, 2002. Is that the Irish version? Planet O the Apes. Planet O the Apes. I had the Irish version? Planet of the Apes. Planet of the Apes. Ah, the Paul Giamatti has an orangutan.

Da-da-da-da-da-da. It's just Irish guys, but they refer to them as gorillas. The killer swindled the cops, destroyed my careers twice, again in 2018. You were in Planet of the Apes. Wait, I'm so confused. You can't destroy a career. We need so much more information. This happened on the set of Planet of the Apes. Wait, I'm so confused. You can't destroy a career. We need so much more information. This happened on the set of Planet of the Apes?

I mean, maybe we'll have to get him on to answer these questions. Actually, I have a lot of questions. Pause off me, you damn dirty gay serial killer. And then it happened 16 years later. Yeah, I thought you were damn dirty Italians. What? Then it happened 16 years later. 16 years later, the killer destroyed his career again

the killer is not killing him and he's just like do you remember the end of that movie when i don't think i've ever seen it oh it's amazing the remake is terrible yeah yeah 2002 there's been like multiple planet he was remakes since but this was the tim burton one at the end mark walberg like sees the Lincoln Memorial but it's a monkey yeah it's like a monkey in a top hat statue they tried to do it's so bad

it's so bad the original thing was so cool in the 1968 version they sees the Statue of Liberty you realize oh it was Earth all along but like it's so bad it's like a reality show TV host chimpanzee is now president of the United States of bananas.

Just a full on... That's the one with James Franco, isn't that one? No, that's Mark Wahlberg. That's the remake, remake. And then the 2011 after is like the reboot, which are kind of like prequels. He taught at James Franco's acting school.

Yeah. Cops call me a liar and also hire me to set up what catches him. Oh, my God. I want to be a guest. I'm a hardcore fan of yours. Let me just say, how do you agree?

I'm intrigued. If you are a hardcore fan, you will listen to this, I assume. I'm also nervous oh i'm nervous the cops are after him i'm nervous there's i mean i think the twist is he is the serial killer and he ruined his own career twice i'm nervous to give him our coordinates we'll rent a studio okay yeah we'll rent a studio if you hear this hear this, what's the secret phrase? To prove that he's heard it.

Yeah. Email me. Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius. He's got to say it twice, though. And we will have you on the show. We'll do a Patreon with him. That's my... I love that. We are willing to tell your story, but only if we financially benefit from it.

Who's the real monsters here? Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi. This is The Downside. This is a place where you can complain. You don't even get your name in the thing, huh?

No, I don't. That's kind of. We're going to maybe season, maybe when it comes around to season, we'd read negotiations. We'll talk about it. This is The Downside with Joe Marco Cerezi. I guess Andy Richter never got his either. No.

Yeah, that's a great point. That's kind of the deal. You're like Andy Thichter. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great point. You're like Andy Thichter. Yeah. We are here with Rose Battle Champion and also writer of the could have been a hit show,

Cops, created by Louis C.K. Mike Lawrence, welcome to the show. Yeah, I'm supposed to say that I'm the down, that show not airing is the downside of all of that. My career was killed. Yeah, that's true. Let me just say, place where we complain, negative,

join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. Bring up a guest's worst credit up top. I think that's a cool credit. That's mysterious. If you were the lighting designer for Cosby's 77, the Netflix special that never got released, that's a cool credit. That's mysterious. If you were the lighting designer for Cosby's 77, the Netflix special that never got released, that's a cool credit. Yeah.

You could be like, you have no idea. The lighting is my best word. What they needed was a black lighting designer. Do you think that, we've talked about this before, Cosby had a full film special called 77. It was cancelled two weeks before the release. It was supposed to release Thanksgiving weekend so everyone could watch it with their family. Do you think, knowing what you know

of the industry and the world, that file exists somewhere? You think Ted Sarandos has it in his house in like a lockbox? Because it can't be loose. People leak this shit. No one's ever leaked

it. No, and what will happen is someone disgruntled like they need to know everyone that worked on that thing and pay them. I love the producer shaking his head on this. They need to pay them properly because that's how that stuff happens. It's always you know or something like did you did you watch like the

Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee? Russell, have you seen that one? The Hulu show? Yeah, with Sebastian Stan and stuff. Oh, I thought you meant the original. I've seen the original, not the Hulu. No, but the Hulu one, it was interesting. Like, I didn't realize like what the guy that released it was a dude who was a contractor who Tommy Lee didn't pay.

He did all this work, and he didn't pay him. And he went back, and he stole the tape. And that's how it released. It's like, take care of people. But how did he get the tape? How many VHSes? You think he had it marked, like Tommy had a sex cabinet or something? I'm sure.

Yeah, that guy would. You're like, every V there's no label on you think the drummer from motley crew would be smarter i uh well i i had one thing on on i'll tell you i had one thing on tape that a guest said a little spicy and i i deleted it oh yeah i i had one i had watched it one time for myself wait i said wow is, wow. Is this a pre-interview thing? Yeah, it was. It was a it was a pre-interview. And it wasn't like shady.

Like we said, like, you know, we're recording, but we hadn't started. Oh, yeah. And they said something crazy. And I remember I remember I had it on my computer and I said, I should delete this. You should delete it. Yeah, I should delete this. And I watched it one more time and I said, wow. And I deleted it.

I should delete this. And I watched it one more time and I said, wow. And I deleted it. And then I watched the Bill Cosby 77 album. So cops, just fill people in. You wrote on, this was in Louie's Prime. Yeah. And he had an animation coming out on TBS. We wrapped a month before that article came out.

Yeah. So it was a 10-episode animation series. Yeah. And I was going to have my name on two of the episodes. Yeah. Wow. Was it good? I think so.

Yeah. I mean, you know, but I get what happened and why it happened. And I'm not one of those. Oh, yeah. We're not in Austin. So, you know, there's a horse during that. No. No. I mean, it is what it is, you know, and.

They could have got a new voice actor, filled it in. No, I mean, he, like, created and, like, co-wrote. It was him and Albert Brooks, and the working with Albert Brooks. Oh, wow. That's crazy. Holy shit. The most amazing, yeah. But, you know, look, man, like, you know.

It's crazy to think it exists somewhere. I mean, was it wrapped like it was edited? It was voice recorded? No, it's animation. So, you know, that stuff takes forever. It was like animatics. Got it. It's crazy to just think it exists, though.

That it exists. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's, I mean, you know, the scripts are there and all of that. And one of the characters I named after my sister. It was cool because, like, the way that it worked was, like, you would just, you know, the way that his mind, you know, creatively, like, with the show Louie and all that, like, you would, it was, like, open season.

It was, like, in Best Idea, or not even Best Idea, or one that most appealed to him. I think one and like, like there was a character and it just didn't have a name and I gave it a name and they're like, yeah, we'll just use that name for all the episodes.

Sure. Sure. Yeah. It was like, that's cool. You know? But I mean, yeah,

it's, it's one of those, like, I just think about like, like for people who don't know, uh, with pilot season and it's kind of streaming kind of fractured it, but, but these TV networks would pay absurd amounts of money to film a pilot. And so many

didn't go forward. And sometimes you'll be in acting classes and they'll give you scripts for pilots that never got made. And you're like, Oh my God, the script is amazing. And it's like, yeah, it was a, it was a TV show and it's, it was Nathan Lane opposite another great actor. And it exists. It's been filmed. It's been edited. It's been color corrected. There's so many. And we'll never see it.

And it exists somewhere. YouTube has been doing a great job of, like, there's this channel, Rare Gems, that I watch a lot. And they put a lot of black sitcoms. A lot of from, like, the 80s and 90s that were either a pilot or one season there's like um tommy davidson starred in a coming to america pilot oh wow and that that was a big thing like in the 80s and 90s if a movie was huge they would try to make there's like a ferris bueller one kevin meananey was in Uncle Buck. Holy shit. Yeah.

Because they rarely ever got the guy from the movie. Yeah. I watched one leaked animation. It was a Rodney Dangerfield cartoon. It was like a kid struggling in high school. And instead of like a ghost helping him along, it was Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah. Like, kid, you don't get no respect.

That was just like me. Let me tell you about Dr. Vinny Boombatz. By the way, I've noticed a lot of my newer stand-up ideas, more and more about doctors. More and more about doctors, doctors visits, medication. Sure, I'm finally seeing them.

You're losing yourself from the connection of your regular audience. This guy's got health insurance. I walk in, no one can relate to anything but the doctor. connection of your regular audience oh this guy's got health insurance fucking elitist i walk and no one can relate to anything doctor he's got the confidence to show off his legs i i am i uh well mike uh it's great to have you on thank you um i was certainly very familiar with your work with with roasts yeah um and uh rus Russell's never done a roast. No, I'm not a stand-up.

But now you're the second comic to roast him. Yeah. Can I say one I saw? I bet I'm also like the second one to acknowledge him. No, people talk. I mean, your co-host certainly does it in the title. Yeah, that's so true. Oh my God. We're really harping on this.

Unless, what if you don't realize it, but the whole time you've been the downside? I mean, maybe. You're the titular character of the podcast. The downside? Wait, it's Jean-Marco. Yeah. And he's the sidekick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can make the flyer look like that next time. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is our... We're recording a bunch of episodes in advance. It's coming out August 27th. Oh, my God. Wow. And we apologize.

The last three episodes, we just talked about Biden being the candidate for about an hour. No, we talked about... No, no. We made predictions. Yeah. My prediction, my crazy prediction right now,

people are going to listen to August 27th, Trump drops J.D. Vance as vice president and replaces him with a different nominee. It's a woman. A woman who shot her dog. What was that woman's name? I don't know, but she had a short-lived...

Just get the dog. That was her book that she wrote it in. She wrote it in her book that she shot the dog. That is crazy. Self-inflicted wound. You know what? She wrote it in her book that she shot the dog. That is crazy. Self-inflicted wound. You know what? She was mean to her editor and the editor could have deleted it. Be nice to the

people that work for you. That's the lesson of the day. You're doing great today, buddy. I'm sorry. Was that okay that I touched your knee? Wow. We're both doing short shorts today. I know. So much leg cleavage. So, Mike, we saw each other.

Where were we again? Somewhere in... Denver. Yeah. Denver? Yeah, I reached out to you. It was very nice. Yeah.

We ordered... I did that thing. So I was opening for Pete Davidson. And I looked at who was at the comedy club and I don't do that a lot and I saw that you were there on a Sunday and I was like

I'm there Sunday and I reached out that's nice we had dinner together I didn't really know what I ordered I just kind of did it. So we each got like two kind of appetizer things, I think. Or it was just appetizers, but they brought out two. So I just started eating one.

I was like, this doesn't even look like what I ordered. Turns out they had just brought both of his, and I was eating his entire plate. And it was utterly humiliating because my explanation was like that. I'm a restrained fat guy. I'm also overweight. And I was just like, I will allow this because i know what i will look like if i hey i think that's my food but then i had to really admit that i care so little about what happens in my life that i'm like well this wasn't what i ordered and i'm just gonna eat it and i must

must have been a mistake and now i'm gonna. And that's time passed before they brought yours out. I think when they brought the second thing out, I was like halfway through and I said, Hey, wait a second. Yeah. Cause you, I think,

I think kind of slowly started eating one of my dishes. It looks alike. Um, I can't tell my guillyozas from my sticky rice. Oh, before, one thing I want to say real quick. Russell, your wife told me you lied to me about something. What? You told me you had stopped watching reality TV.

I dabbled in... And yet your wife sent me a video of you watching a cheerleader competition. Well, she was watching the Netflix thing and I got drawn in. It's an entertaining show. Do you know this show? What is it called the dallas yeah yeah i mean uh it's an interesting world anytime there's a world where you're like that's happening i've never even heard of that never even thought about it i like showbiz adjacent yeah i like well they're very competitive and it's like a whole they have like and they can just be like you're too fat and it's acceptable like do you

know i mean like it's like the one thing that they can you can be like you're too fat and it's acceptable like do you know what i mean like it's like the one thing that they can you can be like you're too fat and like they're not she's walking to a girl with big boobs it was just like yeah it's a lot up here and that was it and i was like well then what yeah honey you need a better surgeon yeah yeah i don't know though i watched it though and it was like they it was like an older woman who's like mean yeah and like you know i mean i don't know it's it's sometimes the thing she's saying seems random. And I'm ultimately like the bottom line is this one's the hottest and you're like, she's like

you did great. And she has notes for everyone who wasn't the hottest. But it reminds me of like an acting school thing. For sure. When you watch From Far, you're like are you helpful or are you just abusive? Yeah. It's definitely a cult. It's definitely like people.

They don't get paid much of anything. My friend was a Dallas cheerleader. I can probably get him on the show and ex-Dallas cheerleader. They get paid like $20,000 a year, I think. Oh, my God. And then they have to work full-time jobs. Some of them are like dentists and doing that. Do you know what I mean?

It's crazy. Depends if you're a dentist. My dentist is not a Dallas cheerleader. You need some Novocaine. Give me an N. Give me an O. It's also like it's crazy because they don't actually do

anything, you know? It's not like the team whose cheers are led better wins. It's the team with the better athletes usually. It's funny because it's not like the team whose cheers are led better wins. Sure. It's the team with the better athletes usually. Well, it's funny because it's like Dallas, and you're like the heyday of when that became a thing

is not really what it is anymore. But it's like, why don't they get the money? Oh, because they're spending it on the people that win. Yeah. It's also just a weird thing of like, when I think cheerleading, I think like bring it on. There's a weird thing of like when i think cheerleading i think like bring it on there's like competition yeah but the thing itself is just the sideline thing and i'd rather see him i'd rather see a competition of that over a football game any day absolutely yeah yeah it's

also like they did that i remember they did a show cheer and then one like the most likable guy who became a star from it was like a pedophile. They're like, yeah, let's just focus on the female cheerleaders. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that fake blood's about to fall off. Just so you know, it's it's okay. It's next to the Undertaker's crotch. So I think it's a pretty good place for fake blood to be.

Yeah, I so you like so upset that he didn't get to speak at the RNC Undertaker. Let me tell you, I saw a video. He's like, I beat Hogan at Survivor Series 91. What's crazy is I have a bit that references The Undertaker, and I introduce it for people who don't know. It's shocking how many people know who The Undertaker is,

how deep it is in the zeitgeist, beyond wrestling. But the fact that he's like this Christian guy, there's some video of him in the ring. Now? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But the fact that he's like this Christian guy, there's some video of him in the ring. Oh, yeah. Always. But at some point in the ring, like in character, his wife, maybe they got married. I don't know.

But he says something about like, it's all because of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And I'm like, you're the undertaker. You're the living dead. You can't be talking about Jesus. That is the biggest betrayal to the, what's the word? Well, he had long hair and rose, and so does the Undertaker. Sure, the Undertaker comes back to life way more than Jesus ever did.

Yeah. And it's a real, it's a real bummer. I want to teach Jesus how to kick out at two and a half. Jesus got pinned. Watching all those wrestlers, his brother kane yeah what's his name uh well his real name is glenn jacobs and he's the mayor of like knox county he's like a huge republican and it's so funny because the undertaker and him kane his brother started with a mask on i don't know if he had a character before that ever oh he had multiple characters

he originally well i'll just go to his wwf history and not lose the audience completely but he was um in 1995 uh going back to the cheerleader thing he was a dentist that jerry lawler had named dr isaac yankum uh-huh yeah i yank him yep and uh and then and then now this was the dumbest thing. So in 1996, Diesel and Razor Ramon, the characters, you know, they the guys who played them left to WCW and they started the NWO, you know, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. But WWF still owned the characters of Diesel and Razor Ramon. So they got guys to play them. Do you know that? It's crazy.

So, so, but none of the fans accepted that, right? Did they go like, stop it? No, it was very insulting.

And it was a very bad time in the business, but they, but they brought out. It's like, if I got a new host, a new co-host and I said, it's Russell Daniels. And I said,

I own Russell. It's just Tim Dillon in your shorts. host, a new co-host, and I said it's Russell Daniels. And I said I own Russell Daniels. It's just Tim Dillon in your shorts. Yeah, I'm sure. Hey, Tim, you want to be the co-host? You're not on the time card. I will happily accept those toys. I'll fly out once a week. We said it,

but Russell once came to see me at Mohegan Sun, and they thought he was Tim Dillon. They thought I was Tim Dillon. And I said, man, if he had bumped me, if he had bumped me for my headlining show, it would have been brilliant. Well, yeah, so he played fake Diesel. And then, you know, but he was always reliable.

You know, there's only so many, like, seven-foot guys who are, like, decent at wrestling. Most of them are very tall guys are usually really bad and he was decent and it was like but there is a lesson there of take the shitty gigs right because you don't know what it'll lead to sure so then when they are coming up with kane and the mythology behind that and all that the first guy they think of is oh this fake diesel guy was pretty good. Like, but the gimmick sucked, but he wore like a huge face mask. Yeah. And there's always a thing where like, ugh, and

he's every day you got a speaker box. Yeah. Yeah. That was like, there was a, it, a king of the ring 98. It was the thing with him and stone. It was the dumbest. They had a first blood match, which whoever bleeds first loses, but Kane's entire body is covered and he's got a mask. So he wins, but the whole thing was, if I lose, I will set myself on fire. And then imagine every day you go to work, you got to put this mask on.

No one knows your face. How are you going to build up your uptake? And then one day, and I would love to know these negotiations where it's like, one day, it's kind of a smaller mask. And then one day, he's like, what if I kind of a smaller mask yeah and then one day he's like what if i revealed my face and i just and same with the undertaker he used to wear like real costumes big gloves yeah and then gradually they get lazier and lazier yeah and one day they go i just gonna keep the jeans on from my motorcycle and the character just kind of

vanishes oh he went through like a whole wild hogs, like came out to Limp Bizkit, Undertaker. Yeah. Because the real guy's name is Mark Calloway. He's like, you know, I think the fans just want to see Mark be Mark. I'm like, no, we like the Undertaker. Then they brought the Undertaker back. Like, yeah, this is what we want. Yeah.

But it's the evolution of these characters and why and like what didn't stick and what stuck. We don't need the real guy. It was for convenience. Where did they have their knee hurt? So they added the brace. Then they kept the brace after the fact. The Undertaker says, rest in peace.

And Mark Calloway says, blue lives matter. Wait, if you had to make a prediction on the next like pop culture or celebrity who's going to make the transition to a Republican politician? Who would it be? Because a lot of wrestlers transition into politics kind of weirdly. Sure. They know what it is

to like get the rock. To get a dumbass crown. To believe a bunch of bullshit. I mean, essentially. Which has nothing to do with why they're into Christianity. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know either.

I could see some weird reality, like someone from Jersey Shore, like Mike the Situation getting into What we need to do is reassess the situation yeah yeah that's a good slogan well that's got the drug pass he can blame it on illegal immigrants like jd vance you know christianity but it's always it's always a person snooki no it's always someone deeper in than that because they're like reality stars are like on the

on the fringe kind of it's always someone who like i played by the rules and i and there was things there you know like almost like every like celebrity that becomes a republican it's always like you know i just couldn't stand all the child murder and kidnapping anymore you know It's always like they saw something. There's always an origin story of what made them snap. You know, like Rob Schneider, like, you know, it was during Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, that I realized I couldn't stands no more.

I think what's so weird, though, for me, when like, so I was seeing, not J.D. Vance, who's the one that Venmoed the teens? Matt Gaetz. Matt Gaetz. Matt Gaetz. Oh, yeah, with that face that he had. They were making fun of his appearance and the highlights and the lowlights

and the Botox and the whatever. And you always, whenever I see those guys- He does look like an N64 character. For sure. He does look like, if you created Donny Osmond in No Mercy. But I'm like, those guys, there's no way. It's the same with wrestling.

Wrestling is theater adjacent, right? I mean, it's costumes. And it's also like, you're wearing nothing. And it is very gay. Gay. I mean, it's very gay. And I'm like, how do you go to these things? The goal is to make someone pin them down or they submit.

Yeah. It is gay. Yeah. Or it's homoerotic, certainly. And I'm just like, how do you have more in common with the typical Republican voter that you're advertising yourself to than the theatrical? advertising yourself to, then the theatrical... If you're a TV person, if you're Rob Schneider, you've been surrounded

by the queer community, and then you're going to go to this Republican side which is devoid. I just don't understand. If you're a guy who likes makeup, fucking go to the DNC. But John Marker, you've seen the makeup they wear. Yeah. Sure, it's bad.

People of the party. Didn't during the RNC, it go to the TNC. John Marker, you've seen the makeup they wear. Yeah. Sure. It's great people. But how do those guys didn't during the RNC, it like crashed grinder. Like it was like, you know what I mean? Like this is going to be like, this has got to stop. Every time there's an RNC or something,

they go like grinder crashed. And it's such, at what point do we blame the servers at grinder, by the way? Yeah. At what point do we say you guys need better firewalls? It can't always be just the wanton sex. Sometimes

it has to be your browser. But they always say it as a victory, and I'm like, it's not a victory because there doesn't seem to be any action that's taken with it. The RNC doesn't go, well, maybe we need to pass some more pro LGBT. No, they just bury it more.

And it's very frustrating to hear that at this point. I'm like, okay. So they're all closeted gays passing anti-LGBT legislation. Are we going to do anything? LGBT. It's just strange. There's a sequel? Like some of those guys, some of those guys, guys,

have got to see Matt Gaetz in person. And it looks bad on camera. I believe you mean in person. It's got to look crazy. It's got to look like if I was in full drag right now. Like if you walked into a room, you'd be like, holy shit. And Kid Rock doesn't see that and go like, I don't know, man. I don't know if this makes sense.

I don't know if Kid Rock, how he looks like in person. I'm sure he looks a little made up too. I don't think he gets to judge. I saw a video on his origin story. He came from money and... Kid Rock? Yeah, and then got into white boy Detroit rap. He calls himself Bob, but he's got Robert money.

Yeah. I didn't know that. And I'm like, you know how I introduced Kid Rock? It was like third grade, because I was at my dad's, he wasn't looking. I had Kid Rock CD, Eminem CD. And Kid Rock CD, you know how I introduced Kid Rock? It was like third grade, like because I was at my dad's, he wasn't looking. I had like Kid Rock CD, Eminem CD. And Kid Rock CD, I remember distinctly because it was filled with him at concerts and big fake titty women. They had stars over the nipples.

But it was like him and Eminem just like this. And I'm like, my Republican stepfather wouldn't even allow me to have Eminem CDs in the house. I mean, if he knew what the Kid Rock CD had, he'd be even more. And I'm like, and now that guy is on this party that my stepfather is a fan of. And it's just crazy, the movement. Yeah, but like Kid Rock owned a person. He had like a little guy, Joe C, that he would like take.

He owned him, yeah. He basically owned him until he died, yeah. Yeah, what was his name? He bought a human being, Joe C. What do you mean he bought? You're saying metaphorically. He had a little guy that basically felt like, you know, in the same way that Marlon Brando

with that little guy in Dr. Moreau, you know? Did he live in his house? Yeah, I think so. Wait. I don't think he owned him outright. I don't think, I think there's a lot. No, but I mean, you know. For all respect, Do you remember him?

Joe C? There's one song that he came out on a rap that I remember and he raps. Do you think back in the day he and Verne Troyer were friends? No, they're probably enemies. This town ain't big enough for the both of us. Actually it is. This town is too big.

This town is too tall for the both of us. That's so funny. This town is too big. This town is too tall for the both of us. That's so funny. This town is too big for the... They're both dead. He died. He died. Anything, excess is bad.

Anything, you're too little, too short. It's not good. Too tall. Yeah. You got to get that Goldilocks just right. Just right. The Sephora Savings Event is here. World in my hand, I'll take this and that.

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Complete offer eligibility criteria by March 31st, 2025. Choose one of five eligible charities, up to $500,000 in total contributions. So you grew up in Florida. Yeah. Speaking of Matt Gaetz, we are from the same town. Really? Davie, Florida.

Really? That's correct, yeah. And do you feel any kinship with him because of that? Tell me, okay, I don't really get, I know florida's hot and i know when things are hot people go crazy a little yeah is florida's crazy reputation uh deserved yeah but i think that it's it's it's uh there's a misconception like it's it's not the heat as much as the constant heat the fact that there's no off switch uh-huh you know what i mean seasons are a way to change and grow and self-reflect and to mark a passage of time and when you have no seasons you're just the same all the time you know and i and i think that's florida florida also

really struggles with a cultural identity like in the same way that like it was one of the first places in america to have settlers of any kind you know in saint augustine with the conquistadors and all of that uh that's before jamestown that's before roanoke even all of that stuff yeah florida first but it's still people didn't start living living there consistently until like the 1970s and when they started you know moving there everyone came at the same time and they all stuck their flag in at the same time and they're all like this is mine and and so everyone like kind of overcompensates. And when you say everyone, which segments, because our history skills are not great.

That's okay. When you say everyone, like what sex, what groups, when you say they all came at once. The New York Jews. The New York Jews. The Cubans. The hillbillies. You know, because like Florida, like the.

There's a panhandle there that's very like. But there's like rebel flag. Like that's what was interesting about it was, where I grew up in, you know, South Florida, um you know like around the fort lauderdale area you saw every type of person all types of diversity you know and they're trying to coexist and they don't know how like the gays and the homophobes are together. The racist and all of the races are together. You know, in a lot of places, it's just a town of racist. Sure. But then why does it feel like it is so racist?

Because they have practice. Why isn't the melting pot melted? Because that's the problem. It's a melting pot of everything that you can't scrape out because it's stuck to the bottom. I see. It's like the pot of everything that you can't scrape out because it's stuck to the bottom. It's like the worst of everything. Because they all feel like they have to overcompensate. Like I said, it was

fascinating. My dad, when he remarried, he married this Cuban woman. And you know, like her family, they left in like 1959 during the revolution and all of that. And they were those like die hard, like the second Castro dies, we're going to come back.

And I remember I was already, you know, I was living in New York. I think at the time, maybe I was in L.A., but when I went to visit was the weekend that Castro died. Oh, my God. And it was like this crazy thing. And I saw all of her family and I was like this crazy thing and i saw all of her family and i was like so they're like yeah we've been here too long and we're not going anywhere yeah wow but it was but yeah it's it's always struggled like like being on the inside of it like i could tell you why the 2000 election happened the way that it happened and and and

things like that because you know it was like a lot of the ilian gonzalez stuff that happened oh yeah where a lot of cubans who can you remind because i remember it i was younger but he was a child that and look if i get some of this wrong i i apologize but he was a child who had emigrated um his father i believe was still in cuba he came with his mom and i think the mom passed away yeah and the whole thing was whether or not he should be sent back. They were divorced. They were separated? Yeah, they were separated.

Okay. And they ended up sending him back, and it was like Janet Reno was the one behind it, and there was footage of cops with of like you know cops with like a gun in his face and everything and like and and this this caused like massive protests and everything you know he must had someone the highways were shot down yeah did he have he had family he must had someone here that i believe so like a grandma or aunt i think so they made a TV movie of it. And in the TV movie, when he's emigrating, he's on the raft. Two dolphins jump over him and form a rainbow. Oh, my God. But the whole thing, they saw him as like the baby Jesus, that he was like this very important, significant person that needed to be here.

And by the way, while this was all happening, hundreds of Haitians were being deported and sent back. Yeah, sure. Well, this was like a big national story. You know, that's its own thing. But where were the political parties on this issue? Were they Janorino was a Democrat. Yeah. So like

she was working with Clinton. Yeah. Bad. Sometimes. So, but basically there was a good amount of the Cuban population So she was working with Clinton. Democrats are bad. Sometimes. Sometimes. But basically, there was a good amount of the Cuban population that had been voting blue that was like, we never will again. Oh, interesting. But were the Republicans going like, let's keep this kid? Did they see it as an opportunity to be? I think, yeah.

Or just the Democrats were so behaving so evilly. They were the ones in power, and they were the ones who had made the decision and that influenced yeah because now it's hard to even imagine like I I don't remember what the Republican stance was this is where I'm a little ignorant on all this sure and it's also hard to imagine that they'd be pro keep a kid in America yeah but it is it is like those things that happen a form i remember there's someone uh uh in my family that they immigrated to uh america and they the reason that they were until they passed away of staunchly conservative is because that when they moved here they tried to get like help in in immigration and things like that and getting someone else over

here with their their wife over here and uh the democrat offered to help and took some money being like if you give me this i took the money never helped them and then a republican ended up helping them and then they were like this day no matter where the party goes i am fully support you know it makes sense no matter where the party goes, though, is the part where I go like, guys, things shift and they change. It is the thing that happens sometimes. Of course. But that's one of the biggest that was the whole hypocrisy where

Trump with the kids in cages and then the person said, Mommy, no more kids in cages. And it was like, no, that's not that's not Democrats main thing. No, no, that's not there. No, they just changed the name. Yeah. But so anyway, that was like the massive like shift and they lost a vote that they ever got back.

And so you were you had already left at this point. Oh, no, no, no. I was I know I lived there until 2006. I moved to New York in 2007. OK, do you remember when the 2000 election happened? Were you plugged in enough to be like, oh, I know where this is going? It's amazing.

I was at the Broward Center of the Performing Arts. I'm opening for Pete there in September. That means a lot to me to be able to perform there because I went there all the time as a kid. That was like the big hoity-toity, big field trips. What is it? It's just a theater? Yeah, it's like a 2,000 seat.

It's in Fort Lauderdale. I remember I went there. I saw Stomp there with my dad, and during the intermission, he just goes, you know, I think they're just going to hit more pots and pans. I don't know if you want to go back in. Oh, wow. He's like, I think we saw it all um he wasn't wrong he's right yeah yeah yeah you don't need it that that show should not

be funny if there was like it was a straight up play and you give people a chance to leave and they go they're gonna go yeah wait it's just racket no um but I remember that night, the 2000 election, when it was happening, Otello, the opera, was playing. And I went with my class. I was a senior in high school, and there were two intermissions. And during the first intermission, I think Gore was winning. And then during the second intermission brutal bush was winning and we were like freaking out and then when we got home uh you know my dad who who voted for nadir god bless him uh i was sitting in his underwear and he's like i don't know who the

hell's gonna win this thing but he's like he's like but it's our fault he's like they're blaming us and i remember my mom was like you know this wouldn't have happened if your father didn't vote for Nader just one vote Nader took a lot of heat but then ultimately again this is only what I've listened

past that point of like the Supreme Court kind of fucked it it wasn't necessarily Catherine Harris got involved remember her Secretary of State at the time fucked it up. It wasn't necessarily. Yeah. Catherine Harris got involved. Remember her? Yeah. Who was Secretary of State at the time? Or what was she? Something. She was a big Florida person. I just remember

hanging chads. I can't imagine what comics were saying and how many hanging chads. I saw the other day a comic I swear posted a captioned vertical clip. I swear posted a captioned vertical clip I swear within an hour

of Biden or of Kamala getting the endorsement something to the point where I said I'm out I can't compete with this they are doing a bit already oh yeah like a bit on stage but like on stage with an audience caption

and I was like bro these comedy clubs they take three days sometimes to give you the tape and you're like i can't we don't have that time anymore yeah i need this live streamed i'm not trying to be good i'm trying to be first yeah like we we you know it's honestly like the comedy club sometimes like no we we should delete this. We're thinking on your best behalf. Like what you did. And they're just like, no, but I need the likes. Yeah.

Yeah. I, so I'm just fascinated. So, but I mean, cause Florida has this Florida man thing. Yes. But that's partially because there's some law where whenever someone gets arrested, they have to make it public. There's something that, that makes it seem even worse than it is. Yeah, but it's also, it's like, it's so funny, and I'm sure this is true of anyone,

anywhere where you live, where it's like when you make fun of yourself and you get together with other people from where you are and you make fun of yourselves, there's so much more dignity to it than what other people do true and you know like with all these like florida stereotypes and stuff where it's like they don't know the history behind the chaos and everything and like yeah it's like you almost have to have like some level of empathy like it's kind of amazing you know like when i think about you know um like

my son's adopted from florida and he was he you know we we had two adoptions that fell through and that that was the third one and you know it worked and it's a success but i also was like this is kind of like i'm kind of excited about this like you know like adopting someone from my own state that i have like these conflicting views on and everything but it was like i i look at myself and i think like you know who knows but like i think a part of why i was so obsessed with pop culture and everything is I didn't like my current surroundings. Yeah. You know, and I was sure, you know, and, and, and like, and in my mind, I'm like, you know, do you feel like you saved him from that? Well, there was a, I don't know, I want to say the word saved yet. Um, but, but there was this thought of like, you know,

the main goal as a parent is to make sure that your kids have a better life than you and i'm like i took him out of florida 14 days into him being born i did it sure sure the adoption i've i've don't know much about it how how so you said two did not go through yeah from different states or different places or why didn't they go through the moms decided to to parent the kids, yeah. Wow. How deep were you into the process? We heard both of those situations after the children were born. Yeah. So you were... Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

By the second one, did you feel... Like, for the second one, did you go like, hey, we sure? Before you, like, got deeper in? Yeah, and then by the third one, like, we didn't even have a name. You had names for the first two? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, we had a nurse. And that was a process of a year and a half. And I remember I would try to do bits about it, and they were just so depressing. What were they? What would you say? I was like, man, you know, an empty nursery isn't as fun as you think it's going to be. The audience just starts crying. Yeah.

But it's stuff like that. And, uh, you know, it was this thing. There's no, that really feels like the setup to more. No, that's my time. That's my time. Yeah. And there's, um, no, but I mean, it's, it's one of those, like, you know, giving, giving a child up for adoption is such a heavy thing and was, was crazy about it. I, I became

so familiar with the grieving process in that time. And, and I realized like one of the most uncomfortable things is when people are mad for you you know like really i would i would have people in my life that and i know they were doing this to be supportive but they were like you know i remember like talking to someone extremely close to me and they're like you want you want me to call that mom like the first time it was like it's like no like i mean you know she broke a promise to you you know she said she was gonna i'm I'm like, no, it's. And the circumstances of everything were like very complicated. And, you know, and just in a way, I don't want to like publicly.

You hadn't met the baby, had you? No, but we met both the birth moms. Yeah, sure. How did you want people like when you're in that kind of moment what do you want people to to just give you a hug i wanted to listen yeah you know as opposed like you know like when my dad died last year it was like similar of like i i think it just happens you know our nature in the grieving process is just to like feel like we're doing our jobs as friends and like i want you to know i'm here for you i'm i'm there for you i'm supporting you you know it's like we're saying things but

not doing them yeah yeah you know like being there for someone isn't saying you're being there for someone it's actually just sometimes physically being there sure or my my government always tells me where there's like i'm like tell me'm like, tell me what I can do. Yeah. And she's like, just do something. Yeah. You're like, just send the meal or send the thing that, instead of being like, can I cook you something? Yeah.

Now they lost someone and they're burdened with work. Yeah. Now they're having to delegate. To come up or think about, what do I need? I don't know you know and i say i'm sorry for wanting to know how i can help uh so okay so you you two don't work out was there any part of you that said man does this ever work is there's a part of me you know but then it was also was like i have been in the business of rejection for years sure

you know and it's like now you wait things out and i mean you know what's harder getting an audition at the comedy cellar or adopting a kid in america well i got passed over twice in both so you need rex for both i'm sure you need referrals or something how do you is this is this an agency yeah and they they find people who who are it's yeah the way that we did it's like so we only did domestic international is like its own thing and and we started in 2020 so we didn't even like at that time international wasn't even a possibility you know of like going to another country getting someone from another country that just wasn't gonna even it was just too hard because of international travel and everything oh oh right right yeah yeah sure

yeah so so we we did the domestic thing and um you make a profile and it's like it's like a dating profile almost but we made this four-page profile and it's called like a dear expectant mother letter where the whole thing is like you're writing to a mom of like why you would be a good family for their child and you put you put up pictures interests i was there any part of you that worried they'd look up your roast battles and go, this guy's a fucking jerk? No. No?

What are your, how long of a letter? Here's the reality is that a lot of the people that are even in the adoption process are so deep in crisis. I don't know. Sure. My life's in shambles and I can't support this child I'm pregnant with.

I'm going to go Google some roast battles. Sure. Hey, that Matt Broussard looks great. Maybe he could raise my child. That fat guy in the glasses shouldn't have beaten him. They see Matt Broussard, they're like, that's going to be the guy who gives me my next child.

That's for sure. So you write a letter. I love Matt Broussard. He was our first guest. First guest. He was the first name that popped in my head because I battled him. The first guy that pops into my head sometimes.

What are you doing there, Matt? And he knows this because I've said to him, I wanted to not like him. And when I battled him i was like so angry and like well you know when you battle like you you talk to the other persons you know you get to know them and i was like i really like this guy yeah and you know and i remember him telling me like he's like i have like sculptures of pokemon that i make out of like he does clay and i was like oh man you're just hot enough that no one thinks you're as autistic as i am but you are and i am now i love the guy yeah when you meet other autistic people

do you do you go oh you're more or less or equal then like do you put it in your head like that sometimes yeah yeah or you know the the one of the most uncomfortable things is this would definitely be this has got to stop for me is people will ask me to like sniff for them. You know, like the whole like gaydar thing. Like you're gay. You know, you get your gay friend to see if. Sure. And they're like, oh, they ask you to. Yeah.

Like you think it's like I i said like it feels like being like a legal immigrant like well you got your papers can you go see if they do you know yeah like i'll be told like hey i think this person's faking it can you find out for me oh man i hate that you said that because i got a question for you right now bubbling in my brain not on the pod uh okay do you think that that you have a better radar or no because i didn't know i was i had terrible autist i should argue that you wouldn't have a good radar because you're autistic yeah i mean isn't that true isn't part of yeah but i'm so autistic i didn't know i was autistic for years like i'd say that on stage now, I was like, I took the autism test. That's what you have to do when everyone knows but you.

And it's true because when I took the test, and this was during the adoption process, I wanted to know who I was better to understand myself, to be the best father I could be. Because a lot of times you could tell you're autistic if you're like, well, that's just me. Sure. Sure. What you're saying is that's just,

um, you know, that's my tears, you know? And, and, and so I was, I was doing that a lot more.

And then I remember I took the test and, you know, I, I did really well and, um, a hundred percent. And, and, you know, I did really well and 100 percent. And and I remember it was the funniest. Like, I had the results. And, you know, my wife had said for years, yeah, you probably do. And, you know, and if you do, I love you no matter what.

But I was genuinely nervous to tell her when I had the official information. Really? She was at work and she was coming home and I had to tell her. And I was like, yeah, so it's official. I am on the autism spectrum and all that. She's like, yeah, I know. It was like, no, you know. What did you think would change?

Because obviously. Is there anything that happens after? Like, do you, like, once you get diagnosed, do you. Yeah. What changes is you are given a limit by that person of how many times you could use it as an excuse for your behavior. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sometimes she'll say this is the best.

She's like, it's just because you're. She's like, I got stuff, too. Sure. Sure. And you got to, you know, she's like, I'm allowed I'm allowed to, just because I don't have a name for it. So we learned to understand each other better. Did it change anything for how you understand yourself? Other than new stand-up bits, of course.

How did it change the way that you think about yourself in the world? It made me realize that certain things like you know it there was like the negative connotation of it was oh this is just a cycle and a pattern you're stuck in and you can't get out of and then but then i thought was like yeah but you can enjoy it you know like like one of my things like i get really obsessed with things we heard the wrestling stuff earlier. Yeah. Yeah.

But like, you know, but like on a micro level and, you know, and it can be very alienating. And I have to realize that, oh, sometimes that's just me really into a thing and I can't bother other people with it. I can't, you know, interrupt their people with it i can't you know interrupt their conversations but with it i have to just nurse it until it's gone and deal with it on my own like i'll just like i was genuinely you know we're i know we're you said this is airing the 27th we're taping this a few days after the hulk hogan rnc speech sure we can talk about it for sure i mean i was obsessed after the Hulk Hogan RNC speech. Sure, we can talk about it for sure.

I mean, I was obsessed. And I am a massive wrestling fan who was very anti-Hogan as a child. I was very pro-Ultimate Warrior, who also right-wing psycho. I read the Vince McMahon book, and he seemed like everyone hated this guy. And he was also, it's very interesting because he was a bad wrestler yeah but was very famous and it's it's the version of like

comedians like again it's every art form yeah it's like he was at the top he looked great he was hot one might call him the matt rife of the wwf and uh but he was also like extremely difficult it seems yeah well you heard a lot of people like that's when you know people from the outside when they hear like a term like bad wrestler like what does that mean it's all fake but it's like yeah but there are guys who can make it look like they're slamming you hard and they're not you know they can make it look like they're punching you in the face they're not even touching you by the way it's my dream my in terms of like famous dreams my fantasy is to like get some finishing move done to me in a wrestling ring like i want to get that would be that would be truly uh i would cry i remember uh in 2009 um when i was like

at the height of my poverty maybe my brother got me two tickets to monday night raw at msg and i never been to the garden and you know to see wrestling there i was like this is the coolest and you know i went with uh my buddy dan saint germain you know we're big wrestling fans and we saw uh judah friedlander come out. Oh, my God. And now, you know, in our minds, you know, it's like he's like this big, you know, massive comic and like, you know, really respected in the clubs and all of that. And he comes out. I think he's like a special guest, like ring announcer or something for like some women's battle royale and the real Judah

is like as far as I know like is a big wrestling fan so I know like this was an exciting moment for him but it was so funny you know and because this is when 30 Rock was on yeah sure and they play the 30 Rock theme as his entrance and we both at first were like

oh my god this is so cool. Like, what a dream to, you know, be in the wrestling ring. And the crowd boos him so hard because they don't want a lot of Tina Fey fans. No, no, no, no. Maybe if two for came out now. No, but yeah, maybe lots, you know, but but like they boo him so hard. And my thought is like, oh, yeah, because wrestling fans don't like anything that isn't wrestling. Yeah. That's so.

Can you imagine? Do you? Would that be cool for you to one day experience walking out and have an arena boo you? Not for something where you failed at, but just like this was not the place for you to be. I mean, it's a fun, it'd be fun story. I don't know, though, in the moment, if it'd ever be a fun in the moment. Do you know what I mean? Like, you could definitely appreciate it with a little time and space.

I got booed at MSG. Did he handle it well? Did he go, fuck you? No, no, he just, I mean, he just did, you know, here are your ladies in the match or whatever it was. He just did the job he was asked to do. That's so funny. It's also also it's like a live tv show it's like where you get a break character yeah so i i only went to a couple of live wrestling matches did you ever go you i forget no i never went did you ever enjoy there was ever a wrestler that you really know i was never into

it i went i think it was a non-aired uh wrestling. A house show. A house show. And my dad, we got up really close. And it was Mankind, Kane, Stone Cold Steve Austin, I think The Undertaker, maybe. But definitely Stone Cold Steve Austin beat up Mankind. Yeah. And he had this thing, his bit, he'd put on a sock. It was Mr. Socko. And he'd just stick it down your throat until you tapped out.

That was his finishing move. And Stone Cold Steve Austin, like, beat him, ripped off the sock, poured beer all over it, and then my dad was like, over here, over here, and Stone Cold threw me the Mr. Socko sock. And I had this thing at home, and it stank like, you know, Bud Light or whatever, and it was so fucking cool. Do you still have it?

I do. Someone washed it. Someone washed it, and it and i was like i will never wash this sock no it's just a sock with permanent marker face yeah that's awesome um so you're you're when when you were when you were diagnosed yeah i mean it doesn't change other than knowing maybe your thought patterns like was there any other significant change in your life? Yeah. Because I,

you know, I was like, Oh, this is why I feel this way. This is why this thing, like I was able to take some control. Do you go to therapy? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, did your therapist go like, yeah, finally you got this fucking test done. We've been talking about this for a while.

It's a big thing to know about a person yeah no no she was just like yeah i guess you weren't listening to me all those years i mean i was like yeah i did but i was like i needed like the official i mean this was this this is what was like so so perfect for for me specifically was so the the way that the test works uh the way that the way that i did it it was this um psychological group and and a lot of times you know they mainly specialize in children because that's when you're supposed to get diagnosed sure and it's a funny scene you there with like 20 little kids oh yeah yeah and i'm somehow blinking more than all of them yeah but no it's it's so uh it but the test was in three parts you know the second part was like this yeah long

survey and you have to talk to your family the third part was it you go in to the office but the first part yeah and this was during COVID, was a consultation. It was like a two-hour Zoom with the main doctor. And then when you get your diagnosis, you get the very specific notes about you from her. Oh, God. Yeah. so she's interviewing me and um I have in uh but behind me is a poster of amazing Spider-Man I think it's I think it's 136 and it's Spider-Man versus the Green Goblin um it's the first time that Harry Osborn the son of the Green Goblin, the Green Goblin. And, you know, very significant moment that needs to be in a poster.

And she's interviewing me. And she says, she's like, yeah, you might be surprised who my ex-husband is, you know, but I think you know who he is. And her name is Dr. Conway i was like conway i was like you mean gary conway the guy who killed gwen stacy the guy who wrote the issue of that comic she's like that's wild and then she writes do you imagine that he was autistic too and that's why she became a doctor yeah but i just all i do i want to do is just ask questions about gary conway after that i'm like so the way he treated the diagnosis right now the way he treated gwen stacy was that how he treated you when he created the punisher was that because he liked exacting pain on you know you know but

no i was like but she writes in there she has this like thing of just like subject found out husband you know ex-husband was a comic creator then continually wanted to ask questions about his creations and not focus on the test i like imagining though like they're like okay we have all this paperwork all this stuff and then they sit down for a two-hour zoom and in the first minute they're like autistic we gotta we have all this paperwork, all this stuff, and then they sit down for a two-hour Zoom, and in the first minute, they're like, autistic. We got to do this two-hour interview? Just the Zoom background. They're like, well, clearly. They log on.

You could have just sent us a picture. Can I, why in fandom, whether it be Marvel, wrestling, Star Wars, is this also a gathering of more autistic people than other communities per se? Is the fandom of it and the detail orientation because it's like part of it is your memory

of these things so exceeds my ability to even remember and I imagine that would make this more exciting in general. well i think you know no because the high i mean and based on even what you're saying that's sports right like the high levels of all this stuff sports fandom it's nothing but statistics and yeah you know when people like remember you know in the same way i can remember you know stuff that happened in comic

books from the 60s before i was born when people can remember babe ruth stats from the 30s and it's like you didn't even see any of these games you know it's insane and and so i think it's just like uh fanaticism and you know because a lot of times, right, people will even say, like, well, everyone's nerdy now because nerd, you know, nerdy stuff is the culture. And I'm like, yeah, but the levels of it are still very defined. Of course. You know, it's like, yeah, just because everyone knows who Thanos is and sees an Avengers movie doesn't mean. They don't know the ex-wife of his creator. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know if Jim Starlin's divorced, but... First appearance, Iron Man 55. Oh my God. You see? That's wild. That's crazy. What is the thing with... I just... I know trains, like trains

is the punchline. Yes. Like that's the... It's so common that a comic can just go trains and the whole audience. I do it and it works and I'm not into trains. But why trains? Also because I'm Jewish. You know, we have a different connotation with those.

We don't like when they show up on time. Why trains? Just because it's, it's, I think it's all about schedules. I think it's all about schedules. Yeah. And yeah. And the efficiency of it. um because i'm very like yeah time obsessed schedule obsessed

i i think that there's um there's also like the possibility of endless possibilities that you could just keep building a track you know like a track can be small like if you're doing model trains but it could also be bigger and bigger sure you could have stuff around it and you know it's all about world building yeah yeah you know and then that there's movement you know there's like a comfort in that. There's a comfort in things going forward. You know, the progression of things. And there's, you know, there's a truthfulness in it. Like, and the simplicity.

A train's just there to take you somewhere else. Yeah. We're going on one tomorrow. You know. We're going on a train tomorrow. But you look at it, right? You look at all these cars and stuff and they're wasteful because they go places they don't need to. Train's just taking you from one station to another it's got a purpose yeah autistic people like at least i feel this you

know i i never want to speak for anyone else's experiences um although i just but you know uh it is that thing like having purpose is like important like if the world is a machine, I want to be an effective cognitive. Yeah. Can I ask, I'll keep this vague. Let's say I have someone very close to me. Yeah. Whose father,

uh, my, they, they suspect they're autistic. Yeah. Well, you know, never diagnosed.

Yeah. And I think they, there's elements of the relationship where they haven't been able to connect necessarily on all the levels that they might see their friends connecting with their dad, et cetera. Yeah. When you think about being a father and now this diagnosis, like, is there any, does it inform things that you think about in terms of how you're going to raise your kid? Yeah, I think I'm going to communicate and be more honest. You know, I don't even think it was like I was lied to. But I think that my parents didn't have all the information that they should have had or could have had.

You know, because like I said, in the second phase of the test you talk to your parents that's a big part of testing for autism um you know talk to people that were there for the early development of your life really because they could see you know early signs and you ask them if they remember certain things they they went on the zoom with you or they no no i was these were calls i was told to have on my own after. And I was asked to then report them to the assessor. Did your parents tell you any stories? You were like, oh, yeah, I did do that as a kid.

Well, it was just the initial reactions were perfect because, you know, I talked to my mom and she's like, she like just felt guilt. She was like, I didn't know you weren't supposed to smoke when you were pregnant back then and you know and she's like yeah i mean you know maybe you are but like you're fine you seem happy you got a woman that loves you i'm like yeah no it's okay if i am it's okay and then i you know and i i and i'm i'm very thankful that i got to have this conversation with my dad before he passed but you know then i asked him and he was like yeah he's like yeah whatever you had i probably had too you know

yeah yeah you know and and now i could see so much of my dad you know in me and and and realize like certain things i didn't things that i thought were disconnects where we really were connecting and that there was even more to our relationship than i thought and that's kind of sweet because they had my mind like you know it's a big thing that we say now where you know everyone is over diagnosed and over medicated and all that it's like no we're just making up for your mistakes sure you know it was that people were under medicated and under diagnosed it didn't go to there like the fact that you even asked you know okay so you have this you know um label are you treating it like that's a very modern you know way of accepting these things

but right years for years and we say this like in specific communities right therapy is a you know ignored or you know people don't take therapy it's like you know you realize like every community is like this because older generations are so alike of we don't believe in therapy and we don't you know you handle your own stuff right like remember you know like it used to be my least favorite type of comedy sure when you know you know back in my day well not just back in my day but you know we were fine it's like i always i always call it i call it the i turned out me yeah comedy sure yeah i had all these things and i turned out me and it's always like there's always like a certain type of guy, you know. I think to get psychological about that feeling, because I had to,

like I recently, I finally went to a psychologist and I think I'm going to get, oh, go ahead. I think I'm going to get an Adderall prescription. And I was doing the test to like fill out, you know, do I have ADHD? And I was trying to be honest. I wasn't just going to lie to get the adderall yeah but i'm filling it out and i'm like there's like what if you go a certain level the box is gray to indicate like oh you are kind of in the area of adhd and i'm like oh yeah i have a lot and i think sometimes there's a feeling of like i went

through all of schooling with with mild adhd or maybe something I could have taken a little bit of Adderall. My life could have been very different. I could have gotten through some of these classes with a lot more like pain and a lot more like going crazy internally. And there's almost a feeling of, oh, my God, all this time, all this wasted years. oh my God, all this time, all this wasted years. And I think sometimes the feeling of not wanting to get changed or get fixed is a feel or try medication is a feeling of like, if you acknowledge that it could have been better, there's a pain over the life you could have had

or the things you should have done sooner. And I think, you know, I don't think they're thinking that deep, but I think sometimes the reaction to any kind of feelings of vulnerability, it's just like, eh, it's fine. it's shut up yeah well it's tough it's like i look at like regrets and mistakes that i've had and you know and i know that some of that can be chalked up to not knowing certain things about myself but i still have to take responsibility for all of it and i have to try to make sure that those things don't happen again but that it's also it's that thought of all right well now that i

have this knowledge how do i make things better and like even you know because i didn't do stand up for like a few years like during the pandemic and stuff and so when I started doing it again and with the diagnosis and talking about being autistic and talking about the adoption process it was like as all like I had all these things happen in my life that hadn't happened in the first like 16 years of my stand-up career but then but what was actually really exciting was the approach to everything of like but what was actually really exciting was the approach to everything of like you know i was always one of those people and you know there's so many of us where my entire mood my existence was determined by the reactions i get and you know and now i don't care as much sure you know and i and i feel like some of that is like like i instinctively you know i don't do video clips and things like that and i have nothing against anyone who does but for me

a part of it is knowing like the specific type of exhaustion that that would cause me and maybe how that is related to my own autism it's okay that i don't do that sure sure you know i mean you know it's doing that as a form of work and then i have to look at it and be like well that's not work that i want to do but then that means i have to do work in other ways sure yeah um before we go on to, this has got to stop, I do want to touch on one thing about Roast. Roast. You know, I was listening to,

I've never listened to a full episode of Kill Tony, but I listened to some of it and I think I kind of understand how it's the evolution of Roast. I mean, it's wrestling-like

in certain elements. Especially seeing Shane Gillis as Trump. Yeah. It's like, oh, now there's characters that are intermingling with this and and it's roasts and um i guess i worry this will come off like oh i hate to use the word woke as as a as a adjective but sometimes i'm like

but sometimes i'm like that's what i'm trying to say is like what seems so hard sometimes with roasts because i love it i love it as an art form yeah i i i always tell people the only thing i tell people when they say how do i get into comedy how to become a better comic i go roasts are what taught me that i wasn't really writing jokes and it informed it just it changed everything for me. Like bombing at a couple of roasts really set me on the path that I am now, whatever that might be. And, and then there's this mix.

I think Osama Siddiqui once had a, some tweet just saying like roast battles are just a way for white people to be racist again. And, and you do look at roasts and it is very, extremely male heavy to a degree. um and it it it is one of those things that it is edgelordy and it attracts some of the worst kind of guys and it also is a mix of like brilliant joke writing but it plays off you know it leans into stereotypes it leans into kind of hate speed stuff

and sometimes i just i'm like man is that how does it become a a i want it to be a diverse playing field where everyone's being vicious and brilliant joke writers but at the same time i'm like the way that it's structured it sometimes doesn't feel like it gives room for a lot of people to enter. I mean, Kill Tony, well, I just saw one recently

where there was, I know I'm rambling, where someone came on and they were disabled. They had arms that kind of were shorter and kind of, and,

you know, they were vicious. Or one guy said, that's just some horrible shit. But instead of like, you know, getting whiny about Or one guy said just some horrible shit. But instead of like, you know, getting whiny about it or being upset, this guy just made a video on Instagram that fucking roasted the shit out of this guy. I'm being vague, not just to be vague because I don't remember anyone's names. Yeah, yeah.

But it was like, I don't know. I guess you're so familiar with the art form. And like, is there any way that it could evolve to a place that allows it to be more like if you're gay and you're gonna do roasts that's all anyone's gonna fucking talk you have to figure out how to navigate that yeah i mean it's just hard because because the moment you start talking about this stuff well then you're the fucking scold at the roast and go fuck yourself that's not what this is about i mean i think that it's fascinating because you know my the first roast battle that i had uh was you know 10 years ago you know and i i wasn't at the ground floor of roast battle, but I was within a year, you know,

and I remember, um, going there the first couple of times and, you know, hearing like even the legend of it, you know, I was still living in New York and, you know,

I went to the comedy store and, and, and I judged it. I was like, Oh, this is amazing. You know? And,

and it was fascinating seeing like and i and i do think that it has gotten better in time i think it has gotten more diverse in many ways maybe not um as reflective of the world as it should be uh-huh but i i think i think the problem sometimes is um with it's within the the community itself and the comics that that do it they're so obsessed with winning you know and and and just uh wanting to get a reaction and i find, you know, and I say this of gay comics, black comics, female comics, comics of all different types that I have seen do roast battles very well

where they're the ones who just don't care as much about winning, don't care as much about the reaction and and i and i say this everyone should do this you know when you if you're a stand-up comedian who roast battles which is most of the people that roast battle your roast battle should be a reflection of your act should it shouldn't just be how do you bring yourself to the show it should be how you get the show to come to you and how you get it to fit your voice and and i see people that do that very successfully you know and i've seen like very funny um transgender battlers of of you know above of both sides uh non-binary i've seen a lot of this

more recently as you know as the world opens up more and it is yeah it is at a a slower pace but i think the change does come from within and a lot of times it's those those comics that are in their stand-up saying i don't give a fuck if i kill or bomb it is important to be myself now and and now when i see people doing that a year in two years in as someone i that i think it took me so much longer to do that you know um i have so much respect for it sure and and i think that there's a way to do it and i've seen it done successfully um but yeah at the end of the day there's always going to be this fight to just go back to what works and in terms of like what is familiar yeah i do think you know it was like it was like interesting like you know like let's let's talk about like you know sam jay's roast set at the tom brady roast sure where she's a very different type of you know performer than

what you're used to yeah there's a a black lesbian black lesbian that you don't see a lot of black lesbians, you know, booked in the roast world in general, right? And she goes up and the reason, and I said this to her that night and it's what I said, it was like, you brought the show to you. You did a Sam Jay performance. you were yourself and that's why it was great you didn't compromise who you were you didn't give up any parts of yourself you

embraced everything the fact that her first few minutes were about burt kreischer yeah yeah and because that's clearly what she personally feels yeah yeah yeah she's like whether or not i have the crowd on my side this is what i want to do i think i think honestly that's how every art form improves and evolves is the artist within take it they don't care how they're gonna do and they just make it their own thing yeah so and i've seen that happen in bros battles you know there's a woman who won the la roast battle um tournament she's from austin heather keith and she has this completely different style and i i believe she's uh you know a latina i i have and i don't know if i'm wrong about that i'm wrong but i know she's a Latina. I don't know if I'm wrong about that.

I'm wrong. But I know she's a woman of color. But really funny. But there's a positivity. And you watch her roast battle, and you want to see her stand up. Because she's so infectious, and her personality is so fascinating. I hope that was an actual answer. No, that was an actual.

Is there any favorite roast joke you can remember someone else saying that you can remember off the top of your head? About me? Sure. Or any roast joke in general. Like I always think of, do you know, do you remember Robin Tran's 9-11 joke? Yeah. Do you know how it went?

Do you remember the wording of it? Oh, is this about Keith Carey? I think. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember something about he was supposed to be on a plane one of the planes that crashed in the world trade center so he saved two lives that day yeah yeah it was about the two seats yeah yeah yeah yeah that yeah that

one i remember what's the best someone said about you zac amico uh-huh which by the way, just the fact that seeing a guy like that who is his own thing and being embraced by that community, and he's such a weirdo, but he's so himself. And I love Zach. You guys know Zach? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You haven't met him, but he's a good joke writer.

He's a fantastic joke writer. He said, and this was before my diagnosis, so that makes it even better. He had two. He goes, Mike Lawrence. He's like, Mike Lawrence rocks back and forth as he judges comic book movies in silence. Amazing.

And then the other one, this was his last joke. He's like, there's nothing I'd like to do at the end of this battle more than look you in the eyes and shake your hand but i know you're incapable of those two things and and and i remember when he said that the cackle that my wife adina gave of like being seen, like, you know, he has what I know he has. And that was like four or five years before my diagnosis. I wasn't with Tova, my girlfriend,

when I did roast battles. If I heard her fucking cackle at like the other comedians roasting about me, that would, that would really get me. Adina would always be like, why don't they ask me? She's like, I know what to say.

She's like, they do all these hacky homeless jokes about your beard and shit. Like they don't they ask me? She's like, I know what to say. She's like, they do all these hacky homeless jokes about your beard and shit. They don't say anything about how bad of a person you can be. Would you ever do a live show roast battle, you versus me? No, no, no, no, no.

You know I hate them. They stress me out. It'd be the only time you're on the marquee. Exactly. But his name... his name is longer, so he takes up more of it still. By the way, for the live tour, the live tour, it is titled Joe Martese and Russell Daniels.

It is for the live tour. We're working it in. I think you'd be a great roaster. I think you'd say something really... I think you'd do the thing where I'd be like, what the fuck, dude? Russell Daniels, he may not help sell the tickets, but he's not the reason you're not buying them.

Yeah, I think I could have like three bad jokes in a row and then maybe one that works and is really hurtful. Do you know what I mean? Like that's the potential, I think. Let's go to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Do you have this got to stop?

Yeah, but I wanted to change it because I realized we're coming out for so long. Okay. It feels, you go first. Okay. This is a very personal one. Oh, my God. What are relationships but a negotiation of chores? Okay.

And sometimes, you know. That sounds like the second you said that, like, you turned into Billy Crystal now. What are relationships but a negotiation? That sounds like the second you said that, you turned into Billy Crystal now. Not in relationships, but in a good way. I feel like you're narrating something I'm about to see directed by Rob Reiner. So Tove and I go back and forth. Why did the dishes? Could you do this?

I did this. Do you do this? Sometimes it's just equitable. It just happens. Sometimes you got to clarify, have a little conversations. Yeah. this. Sometimes it's just equitable just happens. Sometimes you got to clarify, have a little conversations. Doing the laundry as a task, it doesn't conclude

with all the clean clothes smushed in the laundry basket. At the most, at the minimum, it's got to come out of the basket and at least be on another surface uh-huh maybe folded so you're sending it out though too right sometimes but now we also have the in unit it's not our unit but it's in unit on the floor which you think would be easy but it's complicated you

have to leave other people are using it and you go fuck it just send it out yeah i'm just saying if you say well i did the laundry but it's still sosh mushed in the bag you didn't do the laundry you could say i did a portion of the laundry you could say i did 60 of the laundry 70 yeah you agree with me on this well i i think though i think we're falling on opposite different sides of the thing i think um i have an understanding of, like, usually Nicole does it, but I sometimes, I have to put it away, that thing. But Nicole would never say to you, well, I did the laundry.

But what do you, you can see if it's in the back still, right? Like, you're not, what are you going to drawers and then nothing's there and then you're just like, your day's ruined? No, it's not about that. It's about what you get to claim. What you get to claim on the report. I think that is i think that is 70 i feel like i'm watching an episode of curb your enthusiasm but only if they use the first take you're the tova we're all in agreement

do you have yours now i no i don't um uh yeah you know okay uh Because I'm sure it'll happen again in our lifetime. This, okay. Joe Biden stepped out, right? He's quitting. These posts. Hey, August 27th, the late Joe Biden. I know, but listen. The late Joe Biden. Could be.

People will do it again with any politician that's- He does the wrong bump of Hunter's Coke and he's gone. Ended their run. And they write these things. These things. Greatest president of the generation. I don't know why people are writing these things that they're acting

like it's a card that he's going to read himself. That he's their grandfather. I don't know why they feel so sad. And if they know he's not reading it, who is it for? Who is it for? Themselves. Who is most social media for? But why? It's the weird thing of

like being like why does it have to be so he did a noble thing he did a noble thing no because the donors said they're not gonna give money anymore yeah and then he was not gonna be able to run a campaign he fought a tooth and nail yeah what are you talking about he fought a tooth and nail i'd say false tooth and nail yeah but like it's but but it is that thing there's this constant like they're good i'm like this is their job they're getting they're getting paid for this like as a reminder yeah they're getting housing and insurance and paid and it's only no one no other person would you give this deference to for doing the job that you gave and it's only because you know trump is so bad that the bar is so low that you

forget that like like he was fighting this the whole way through people could see that he couldn't talk or walk or do anything and he was still fighting it for a month what are you talking about at the most i think you could praise okay at least we have a system where someone can get enough pressure to step down yes they have to. Yeah. But that's all I think you get to praise. You'll get to praise the guy for, for ultimately having to do what he was left no choice to do. Here's a, here's a deeper issue,

you know, praising or denouncing these people one way or the other. So deeply is why we're in the problems we're in, in the first place. Like you said, the word job is what we forget. Like, like when you then take that energy and you immediately transfer it to the next candidate as a form of worship like we don't need to worship these people we just need we have to like them we don't i mean we don't have to like this weird thing of like they're plumbers

yes yes just fix my pipes yeah i don't need to know you i don't want to like this weird thing of like they're plumbers. Yes. Yes. Just fix my pipes. Yeah. I don't need to know you. I don't want to talk about you so much. Like the thing is like they're, they're in our lives too much. They're, they're, they're occupying too much of our, of our thing. Do your job.

Shut, get off my thing. Are there some countries where you're only allowed to campaign for like a certain amount of time before the election? I think what's kind of cool about the, the Kam thing becoming like trump goes like well we spent all these ads we focused all this stuff and part of me is like yeah you know what make it a little make it a little later that we figure out who the person is yeah so we don't have to fucking do this whole and they don't have to campaign for years and not do it i think trump can improv hating a black woman i don't think that's is Is that too tough for you? Is that too hard of a prompt?

Yeah. I mean, it's been weird. They're focusing on the idea that they're like trying to be like, well, she gave blowjobs to someone. When they're going after like rumors of, oh, she blew her way to the top. And I'm like, Trump literally was on... Someone, you know, I tweeted something and someone said like trump literally was on someone's you know i tweeted something and someone said like uh no clinton was the guy in epstein's i'm like they both were buddy

yeah they both he left voicemails for epstein what was the voicemail what do you think the voicemail was to jeffrey epstein hey i know you're into physics could you tell me your latest uh thoughts yeah no it was hey i need a masseuse now 14 to 15 uh how much is that waitress in the window wolf wolf the one with the waggly tail uh do you have this got to stop i know you kind of said one yeah yeah all right i wrote a few sure but i'll just do one um this is you know look uh this is a parenting one but um i'm watching you know my my uh son logan he's uh 20 months so he's starting to like watch tv a little bit he hadn't been before you know and uh it's a nice welcome any any type of pacifier will do um i hate that all the shows now have real kid voices i miss i miss my frank welkers my tress mcneil's my charlie adlers yeah you know my rob paulson's like when we grew up

like we had all these like voice actors you know nancy cartwright and you know they would do the voices and and look sometimes they overdid it and they were hired too much. But the kids, a lot of times, they don't make me feel anything. I remember the first time that a show really advertised, these are all real kids doing the voices with, hey, Arnold. And it was like a big deal. Oh, really? Yeah. But now they all sound the same.

Yeah. A lot of the stuff that he watches is like kind of mediocre CGI. It, you know, Canadian non-union child voice. Yeah. That's what's sad too. Like the,

you know, like when you knew, know too much working in show business or like, man, these kids, like I can't even be happy that they're getting residuals because they're not.

But so many of these shows now, and I knew I would connect with no one on this, but I had to say it. Yeah, they're just like an emptiness to them. I always thought if I had kids, I'd be much more invested in the quality of these kids' shows and be like, can you make this okay for me to watch? When watch with my like my nephews I'm also shocked

they're just so mean like everyone is talks so mean to each other do you know what I mean like well that's like the Disney Channel stuff yeah they're a little older they're like nine but like it's just like these kids being me and you're like yeah like why is this well it's they took like all the sitcom scripts from the 70s. And now it's like the kids are the hippies and any adult in the room is the Archie Bunker they all hate. Yes, they hate those adults. And they really are dumb, too.

If you see a kid show and you're like, oh, my God, this is The Office. Yeah, you will. This one kid promises a bunch of inner city toddlers that he's going to pay for their middle school education. You will, because that'll happen. Humor will evolve and change, and then the thing that we thought was sophisticated, there will be Disney Channel Seinfeld.

What's the deal with school lunch? Why is it called a sloppy joe? Sloppy joe should be clean. Can you imagine someone doing like, what's the deal with Pop-Tarts, and they made a whole movie out of it? Sloppy Joe should be clean. Can you imagine someone doing like, what's the deal with pop tarts? And they made a whole movie out of it. That'd be fucking stupid as shit. Let's go to our last segment.

You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. I'll never forgive that movie. I'll never forgive that movie. The pop tart movie? I'll never forgive that I watched that whole movie. Yeah, it stayed in the toaster a bit too long. It's fun, but you know.

No, it's not fun. Don't lie to me. Let me say this. That money could have been used to feed people. Sure. Even if they airdropped Pop-Tarts. Yeah. Oh, my God.

My blessing. Oh, my God. Oh, I, my blessing, uh, uh, oh my God. Oh, I wanted to say, so, so we were going on our tour, uh,

tomorrow we're recording this in advance, blah, blah, blah. Again, you can see bits and pieces from the tour, uh, patreon.com slash downside.

We're going to put it all there. Uh, very excited. We got Zarnikar as our guest for New York. Yes. Um, uh, Paige Asachika is our,

uh, our is our producer and she lives in Orange County now, but she is flying to our second stop and staying with us for three days. Yes. And I want to be perfectly clear, she's not doing it for the money. No.

This particular, we're hoping, we're all hoping we get there someday, but she is going she's going on this journey and uh she has helped us book some activities yeah she's helped us book uh uh everything and she's like real real taking the reins and i uh i'm extremely grateful to have a producer um working on it yeah with me and russell i'm excited to my blessing i'm excited to have some uh to do this with you you know i never gotten on the road Russell. I'm excited to, my best thing, I'm excited to have some, to do this with you. You know, I've never gotten on the road with you.

I'm excited to have a little extra time. I think it'll be fun. I cannot believe we got a 6.30 a.m. train. I know. We're in by 9.30. I know. We have the whole day. We have the whole day and we're getting dinner. I'll have to do some work. Is this Boston? Yes. First we go to D.C., then Boston, then Philly.

What time is dinner with your dad? 4.30. Okay, great. Because we want to D.C., then Boston, then Philly. What time is dinner with your dad? 4.30. Okay, great. Because we want to get the sound, his first show. But my dad called today sure enough to be like, can we move it? Is Tova coming? Tova will be there, yeah. Is she coming tomorrow morning at 6.30? Or no? Yeah. Oh, wow. Let's do this off the pod.

Do you have a blessing? Yeah. I just went on my uh first family vacation that wasn't that wasn't work-based and it wasn't seeing either of our families it's just me my wife and my kid in the dominican republic hell yeah and uh yeah my son uh like yeah a little over a year and a half got a passport hell yeah that's like and i didn't get one till i was almost 30 yeah yeah so like that feeling of like you know like i said the your kid having a better life than you and that he's already because sometimes yeah when i go on the road um i'll take him and you know adina with me

and that's a blessing like that he gets to see the country he gets to be all these cool places even you know we live in la but i'm in you know new york now but we've been to maine and we were in boston and you know we've been to i've already taken my kid to vegas like i don't know that's like very exciting to me yeah yeah baby passport yeah it's a very cute they only last five years instead of 10 that's great i guess because they look a lot different it was so funny because like his photo he just it's always that thing of like you always i always want to be like, I look like what a QAnon person thinks a kidnapper looks like. So if you could smile at all times, it would really help both of us.

You already don't look like me. You can at least look happy to be there. And he's got this begrudging passport photo. And I'm like, no. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's so funny what I, yeah, what I, uh, I, I've been, uh we did a house swap, but I've been in Brooklyn with him. And, you know, he's mixed.

I'm very white. And, you know, he's that black. And we go out, and people will, like, look at him and then look at me. And they almost want to, like, ask it, like, wink and say you're fine. You consented to this didn't you uh-huh um he's like no i didn't but my mom did that'd be his first words no i didn't um first word was ellie which is our dog before mama and dada oh wow yeah he's like i know who i love where can people find you find me um i'm on instagram uh mike lawrence comedy um

yeah i'm doing some dates with pete davidson in the future which some of those might be the past um uh yeah i'm i'm around uh i i uh wrote on the tom Brady roast. So if you want to watch that, it might help with the residuals. It might not. But, you know, people seem to like it. And I had to learn what football was wild. Where can people find you? Instagram at Russell J. Daniels. I'm everywhere at Joe Marco.

So raisey. And August 27th. I'm back on tour, baby. I'm going to Toronto toronto by now hopefully we've added our eighth show um i got vancouver coming up i got uh vermont coming up so just go to everything at your marco cerezi and again join that patreon i know some of you guys are listening and you're so close just fucking join it patreon.com slash downside lots of cool stuff when you got a long road trip and uh uh to see us off

mike do you remember uh one of the best jokes you wrote for the brady roast yeah um i'm gonna say uh one of my favorites was um aired or not aired it doesn't matter you could you could do uh whichever's spicier a joke that made me laugh uh a lot that that did air was i i gave it and i think burt gave me credit for this so i could say it but um the difference between um burt kreischer i'm sorry no the difference between um tom brady nadoff hitler is hitler was with his wife till the end. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And then what was one that did the one that did an air?

Oh, man. It was I wrote this for who's the who's the coach guy? Bill Belichick. Yes. That was beautiful right there. From us is crazy. Yeah. Yes. That was beautiful right there. From us is crazy.

No, it was. You know, there's nothing I like. Yeah, it was like a version of the Amico joke that he gave me. But it's like, you know, there's nothing I like to do more than say that I am proud of you at the end of this roast if I thought you could feel something, Tom. Hell yeah. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside.

You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.