The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #227 Spread Eagle with Russell Daniels

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

In this mega episode, Gianmarco and Russell catch up after Gianmarco’s Australia/New Zealand tour, and share the downsides of white coat syndrome, doing weird gigs for the story, AI deepfakes, what female pop star we’d be, and staged social media clips. Join the Patreon to hear 1.5 hours of more content that we’re too scared to say in front of a paywall!  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older ontario only please gamble responsibly gambling problem for free assistance call the connex ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600 that mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario welcome to the downside my name is jim marcus heresi and i'm here with my co-host Russell Daniels. We haven't seen each other in a while. So if the music's a little bit off, don't worry, we'll get back to it. Oh, how long has it been? Oh my God. It's been at least two weeks. Yeah.

At least it looks like you didn't shave a single time since I've seen you. I feel it touching the microphone. The whole episode is going to be like. Yeah. Yeah. We got a lot to talk about today. And we don't have a guest because we had too much to catch up on. Too much. And I think I wanted to share right at the gate. I had to go and get it. I just got back from Australia. I was in Australia.

I was in New Zealand. I did a fish festival. We're going to get into all of it. But normally with international trips a comedian on my level you don't do merch or maybe bring posters yeah it's what i should have done yeah 100 but i was like let's do merch let's figure it out did you figure it out because there was drama there was drama but so we did we got we got stuff there okay i i've yet to find out if i made any money we'll see yeah it's very

hard because the australian dollar is like 64 cents on the dollar oh so is that good for them or bad for us uh it's it's bad for me yeah but for sure are they doing so much is australia doing better than america or we what it's what does it mean i'm too dumb to be able to tell okay but it definitely in new zealand they said things are bad they said just you know not a lot of people are going to buy merch because okay two things they're struggling financially and it wasn't a great show yeah uh that was a joke it was a great show i love you new zealand but we had to work with a new merch company we were moving fast it was a little bit chaotic and as

you know as listeners know if you're a new listener maybe from australia you already know this one of the things that i sell and i'm not proud of it whenever i have to bring it up at a dinner party i feel great shame is a cum towel yeah that says uh moisture crunchy on it if you see the bit, it makes sense. You go, you know what? Dirty can be funny. Oh, I've seen the bit. Yeah. And I tried. They sell like, come tell us. What's the phrase?

They sell like pancakes? Yeah. That's the phrase? Hot cakes. Hot cakes. Where are we getting this data on this? What is a hot cake? It's like a pancake, I think.

Okay. They sell like hot cakes. So I had to make it. Or What is a hot cake? It's like a pancake, I think. Okay. They sell like hot cakes. So I had to make it. Or is it just hot cake? Like a fresh baked cake? Doesn't matter. I don't know. Describe to the listeners what my cum towel is. Like, you've seen it. Yeah. What is it? It's a little towel. Just a towel. Yeah. That says

Moist or Crunchy and has your face on it. Show to the camera like the dimensions of it i mean it's like oh no just show me the dimensions of it it's like this big okay a little bit bigger than that but sure yeah so it's like a it's like a gym towel i guess they thought i meant a cum tea towel oh no oh no it's like for a picnic oh my god so i i go out to australia i get a box of 500 of these 500 500 moisture crunchy tea towels also you know what you wipe your come off with is this usually the fabric no it's not that's right that's for a tea party yeah and uh at first i was filled with man filled with rage i mean i've never come that much in my life no you would not need that you'd just be able

to use a corner and be like a week of coming wait um did you sell any so luckily i i said you know what i'll make i'll make a bit out of this i went on stage come tells tea towels ha ha this is exclusive and i fucking sold the shit out of this good okay and i sold it so much i go fuck i'm gonna have to keep selling this next time i go to australia yeah so oh yeah because it's only created for australia but here's the thing i accidentally i thought i'd do it in the UK too. You could do it in Britain. Oh, sure. Good. Just tell them.

Just make up the story. If you're listening, don't. If you're listening in the audience, you can give me a wink like, I know you're lying. Because in the audience, I'll go, so I worked with a new merch company.

Anywhere they sell tea, really, you could like, you know, any country. Any country. Any country. More known for tea. Yeah. So do you want...

I don't want it. I think we can hang it on the wall somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a. Yeah. So do you want this? I don't want it. I think we can hang it on the wall somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. What do you use? We've been through this.

I don't use. I use like. Just the sheets you roll over? Yeah. I use. What do you call it? Toiletpaper or tissue or something I can throw away. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't like. I don't like having to wash it. Do you know what I mean? I don't like having to then throw that in my laundry. Sure, sure.

Well, the thing for me is I end up throwing my... I basically all the ones that have like a typo, I have like a collection of... You come into them. Come merge that it says like, you know, moisture kunky. And I'm like, okay, I can come in this one. Oh, okay. So that's how I do it. Yeah. them that it says like you know moisture kunky and i'm like okay i can come in this oh okay so that's how i that's how i do it yeah although for my bit for the audience they say do you ever use

this come time i go no as they say never get dry in your own supply oh my god this is the downside you're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. I think I grabbed one of the used ones. Oh. How are you doing, buddy? Good.

So let me break down what this is. So we don't do this normally, but we have a lot to catch up on. So we wanted to just go over it all. It's going to be fun. It's not going to be like, and then this day I all it's gonna be fun it's not gonna be you know like and then this day i did this yeah yeah um so this is how this episode's if you are a member of the patreon you've already heard this this came out uh so now i'm addressing the non-patrons okay so patreon um we released this on the patreon last wednesday we wanted to do this one close to

yes and uh uh basically you are about to hear like a regular length episode but if you want the full thing you can join the patreon and we talk you want full unedited we'll probably say some things i have certain things on my list of don't talk about this until the patreon switch and not because it's it's it's it's usually something where you're like oh okay less people are gonna hear this so well i can tell that my girlfriend doesn't respect the Patreon numbers because she goes, you can talk about it if

it's on the Patreon. And I go, you know what my goal is? I know, there's like a thought of like, well, no one's hearing that. But now it's like 500 people are hearing it. But like, you know, hopefully one day, hopefully one day we can't say everything on the Patreon. But right now we have the higher tier. The Tova said it's okay tier.

And also we're making some changes, some cool shifts. So where you left? I'm just laughing. I thought like in front of you now it's like you're firing me. We're making some changes. Russell won't be here all the time. We're going to try out some

different co-hosts. So we did this tour. It was a great tour. This is our first time taping since the tour. You say tour weird. Tour, you're saying. I do it so often. Tour.

Tour. Yeah. Yeah. Say it how you said. Our first downside. You can say tour. Yeah. Tour. It sounds tour like manure. You got to do the say tour. Yeah. Tour. It sounds... Tour, like manure? You got to do the liquid U? Tour. Tour.

Tour. Tour. It's a global tour. Okay. Okay. You're wrong. So this is our first time recording since that. Yeah.

Can you believe that? Yeah. So we did our first East Coast tour. It was good. Very good. Good. Very good. So I feel like we really evolved what our live show looks like.

was good very good good every show i feel like we really evolved what our live show looks like yes and what we're gonna do is uh october 2nd there's a lot to i know i know we are now going to be releasing two patreon episodes a month yes in studio we did the live ones where we recorded with someone else but it just it wasn't i like having it in studio with a guest. We wanted to make the live like a more kind of performance, songs, trivia, crowd work. So we'll be saving the live shows for when we tour. For when we tour. And we got an announcement coming out soon. Yes. Let's lock in those dates soon.

Maybe a little West Coast tour. Tour. Tour. Tour. And we are now going to be recording two in-studio Patreons every month that will go on the Patreon. So now you get two in-studio, usually me and Russell,

but I think sometimes we'll have like a friend, friend of the pod. Yeah. Friend of the pod, basically someone with not enough Instagram followers, but I love still dearly. No, it'll be fun. So again, join the Patreon,

patreon.com slash downside. And on October 2nd, one of those two patrons, it's going to be like a highlights episode from the tour we just did. So we have like clips, me, Russell, and Douglas is going to be there. And we're going to have some highlights and excerpts from our live tour. We got some singy stuff. We got some crowd work stuff with Downside fans. And we got guests, Scott Cease, Zarnak Arg, and two others.

So just trying to make this worth it for you guys. So thank you for subscribing, those who are. And for those who are not, get on board. So let's talk about you for a second. Then we'll go back to me. You got a clean bill of health? Clean bill of health. Yeah.

Clean bill of health. So I, as you might know from watching the show, I have extreme phobia around doctors and things like that. I thought you were going to say for a second. Extreme obesity? I thought you were going to say, as you know from watching the show, I am. second. I thought you were going to say, as you know from watching the show, I am.

If you know from watching the show, I am worried about my heart. Nope. I mean, I am in the way that, uh, in the way that, you know, so I have high blood pressure. Um, it runs in my family and it's a struggle with doctors cause he goes to the doctor and they measure it and it goes through the roof it goes through the roof and they'll keep measuring it and it'll go down but I'm on like medication for it and I haven't for 10 years what kind of medication? it's blood pressure medication

but it's a really low dosage it's basically like a glorified water pill kind of side effects? no I've never noticed any it's been soft the whole time it's always a soft wiener um no uh no i've never noticed any um so uh but so i went i hadn't gone in two years which is bad you're supposed to go like because they the medication at like some point they're like hello you need to check in with us if you're going to keep getting this medication.

You go to the pharmacy and they're like, hey, Russell. Yeah, they make you contact the doctor. Luckily, my doctor, not luckily, he's not great. So basically, and I got his number two years ago so I can text him. And I texted him and be like, hey, I'm out of town. Can you renew this? And he's like, whatever. And he does it.

But then I was like getting freaked out. Obviously, some of my family die kind of young. And I was like, God, it's been two years. I need to do this. I just hadn't been checked out. So I go. It's very dramatic. It's like the whole week leading up to it, I'm struggling sleeping. I'm like freaking myself out.

Do you check it? Do you go like go like no because i know like anytime i think about it i can feel everything gets higher you know um even like right now talking about it kind of it like starts i can feel things so i tell nicole i was like you have to come with me i i'm gonna like i'm like i'm so freaked out you have to come with me i'm sorry she's never come with me before to that kind of thing i'm like i don so freaked out you have to come with me i'm sorry she's never come with me before to that kind of thing i'm like i don't even know what to ask them i don't know what to like say in that room she came with you in the room yeah i was like so so but anyway so and it's also i don't even live in the neighborhood it is and it's so far for me to go it's in astoria so it's like an hour and a half to get there now. It's not a pleasant thing, but you know,

on the way there, I was like, well, I'm going to have to take a cab because if I'm taking the subway and I'm getting all blah, blah, blah. So we take a cab there and, um, we go in it's first thing in the morning. No one else is in the waiting room. Perfectly quiet, calm. I'm like trying to like stay calm and steady. The, I check in, do the paperwork they're like okay we'll call your name uh i'm waiting for like five ten minutes the loudest fire alarm starts going off and no one's doing anything no one's moving it's going off for like three minutes and we're like it's so loud and jarring and then we start seeing people from other doctor's offices like leaving the building like and and i look out the window i see people are outside i can hear fire like things and i see

we say to the receptionist should we leave and they're like i we're they're like i don't know and then we said well do you have a drill today and they're like no i'm like so we should go what are you like what what's happening so anyways we all have to evacuate the building we're outside for like half an hour i'm like feeling my body's like oh my god there's a fire now and i was a part of me is like you gotta go we just gotta go we gotta go it's not today it's not gonna be a good day you're not gonna get good results today russell so um but i'm like no if you leave you'll never come back and so um we i'll get to go back in the building it's a false alarm.

We're sitting there for another 10 minutes. The fire alarm goes off again. And then at this point, they're like, sorry, that's just going to keep happening. We're like, it's going to keep happening. In a doctor's heart office, this loud fire alarm is going to keep firing off randomly throughout your whole entire appointment. And they can't make it quieter. So it just happened the rest of the two hours i'm there every so often it would just go off and you'd be like getting your blood pressure taken and it would go off anyways so we get in there

they're mean and not nice they not the main doctor just the nurses well you don't really deal with the main doctor until the end there's what they mean what are they mean to you just like they ask you questions and and they don't like the answer like okay so one thing i thought was nicole nicole backed me up she's like you got to get a new one because it okay the way that they talked to you and the way that it was was not he's so cute that she went in the room with you she so they were like okay so they ask questions too and you know you're i'm giving them honest answers are you because we talked about this once you remember yeah you told the doctor you said that you never drank no no but they ask like do like they're they didn't even ask that this time because they they just that

didn't pertain they asked if i smoke and i said no because i haven't been and i don't um and but um one time i was honest about it because i i would be like, when I, if I have a few drinks with friends, sometimes I'll have a cigarette or two. And I told them that, and then they put on my file smoker. And then I went back the next time. I was like, I'm not a real smoker. I was like, I can't five cigarettes a year does not make a smoker. Yeah. Anyways. So I tried to get them to remove that. Um, but so anyways, they asked me, they asked me, um, like they were like, ask me about workout and stuff like that. Cause the whole thing is like, you're too fat. Um, you know, and is that the general tenor of the general tenor is like, you're too fat. Um, and, uh, and also like, this is pre they haven't

done the blood work yet. They haven't done blood blood pressure they're just like looking at me and like you're too fat so um so uh we're talking about that and they were like now when you do work out do you sometimes get out of breath and i was like uh yeah doesn't everyone and they were like they were like they were like oh you do i was like what do you mean why are you phrasing it that way? People work out. Don't they get a little out of breath? I was like, I'm not fainting. I'm not passing out. I'm like, and just everything was like that. They'd be like, oh, you do?

And I'm like, they're like, when you walk up the subway stairs, they got specific like that? When you walk up the subway stairs, are you sometimes a little winded? I was like, aren't we all a little winded? I was like, I said, depending on what stop it is and how many stairs. Because sometimes there's lots of stairs and it's a harder stop.

Sometimes it's an easier one. Yeah. And they're like, they just, and they didn't have any sort of thing. And they were being weird. And anyways, so they do the blood pressure. It's a little high. The problem is that it's like a dumb metric. It's a little high. The problem is that it's like a dumb metric. It's so vague.

It's like when I did the ADHD and they said a suicidal 1 to 10. It's like, what are you talking about? How do you actually gather something from this? Better to do a treadmill and be like, okay. I know. So they do the blood pressure. It's a little high. So then they do EKG, which is like they – did they shave a little of your chest no i mean no

i don't have that much hair so it's like oh sure like so so they put on the stuff i do the ekg they take my blood they do the blood pressure again still a little high a little lower though but why they do it again just in case well because usually my mo is there is if they do it enough times, it'll go down to a normal amount. Yeah. It still was a little elevated, but it wasn't elevated enough where it's like crazy. And it was also like they were like, I'm going to go back in October because they're like, it has just been 10 years where they've not adjusted the medication. So they're like, we can't tell if you have white coat syndrome where you freak out so much that your blood pressure is just going to be elevated in here always. Is that the scientific term for being a pussy?

Yeah. Yeah. White coat syndrome. They have it on my chart that I'm awake. I'm like, I'm a heavy smoker and they've never recommended any sort of deal. They've never been like, maybe you should see a therapist. Maybe you should see, maybe you should get some medication. They're just always like, you're crazy um uh and they'll put on your chart that you that to know that when we deal with you oh god uh so they recommended i get one a machine

to like test it on my own to see if it's like a little bit higher all the time or if it's just when i'm go there um but also it's been 10 years and it is not out of the realm of thing. I'm on such a low dosage already that like, Oh, maybe they just do it. But anyways, did the blood work? Did they key G E K G E K G was great. Normal. Everything's great. Blood work. Great. Normal. No, anything, no cholesterol stuff, nothing. And then, uh, and then they were like, well, you're going to do one more just because of the family thing, like just to be really sure, which involved me going to get like a CAT scan of my heart with a calcium score to like see if there's any buildup. And that was a horrible experience. in my neighborhood so it wasn't too far but it was like this thing it was very quick but was horrible about it is that you're just in a they were basically like called you in when your was your turn they're like here's a gown there go go find a gown in that closet and it was like a broom

closet with just random gowns uh-huh all the same size then you then once you have your gown which doesn't fit they're like just sit in this hallway with all these other naked people and so you're just sitting in a hallway with all these old people in in inwood and just like like waiting our turn and then and then anyways you go in and it's very quick they do it and and i was like in there and there. Where's the slit on the gown? Well, no, no. I have shorts on. But it's just your topless. Okay. But it's still like. You're with like old people?

Old people. That's the thing about hospitals. Part of the thing about hospitals, you're like, and that's me someday. I know. And then I'm like, I'm actually envious. None of them seem worried. I'm in there like, oh, my God. They all seem like they got to do a million things today

yeah but anyways um i so um do that and of course you're trying to get like does it say anything you know you're trying to and they're like and they won't give you anything they're like i'm like when does this get back and you know why you know it's because if they told you something and you killed yourself that night then they'd get sued. Yes, yes, yes. But you're like. But the one time I got my balls scanned, I remember she said, like, I can't say anything, but don't worry about it. And I was like, thank you.

Thank you. That's great. Well, then I was like, so I was like, I get this tomorrow, right? She said, no, five to seven business days. And I was like, this was a Thursday. And I was like, oh, my God. Did you ask, will I make five to seven business days. And I was like, this was a Thursday. And I was like, oh my God. Did you ask, will I make it to then? No, but in my mind, I was like, well, I did it, blah, blah, blah.

So I then really did a pretty good job of forgetting about it for those five to seven business days. I was like, I'm not going to even think about it because I got the blood. I called the doctor the next day after the blood work because I knew the EKG was good. And they gave me the blood work was great. So then I was like, okay, great. Feeling good, feeling good. Two out of the three things are great.

Then I go do the five to seven business days happen. And then John Marco, it was such a nightmare to get this place, this cardiologist to respond to me. It was like, I sent three emails. I called three days in a row, not responding, not responding. And on my head, I'm like,

well, if there was something bad, I would hope that they would call back. Sure. Or, but then I spiral to being like, I guess they're just like prepping their team and how to tell me like, you know,

when it is, I mean, I know you haven't booked anything in a while, but you know, like when like your manager will call and say, uh, we have your agents on the line too. It's like,

it was amazing. Can you, like your manager will call and say, we have your agents on the line too. It's like they do that with the doctor. It was amazing. Can you imagine with the doctor? They're like, hey, we have your whole medical team on the line, including the nurse that told you, are you out of breath when you walk upstairs? Yeah. So finally they call, they finally call,

or I call them again and they patch me through to the assistant. And she was like, yeah, it was a zero calcium score. No buildup. No blockages. By the way, better than me. Oh, good. That's why I had to start taking the statin because there was, there was a like 13 calcium score. Score.

Yeah. Mine was zero. Oh. So, um, so anyways. anyways i'm gonna die first i guess um that sucks for you because you're very healthy um they said it's the cholesterol that like is not affected by that's genetic yeah and so i started taking that pill and that's amazing zero started taking it already oh i started taking it right after that and i was so i mean i was i was more upset after that i was just like yeah my life's over and i thought the side effects they said you might be a little more sore than normal and i didn't have

any side effects it actually was a little offensive to me they're they're kind of like when they would give me the blood work results to being like yeah actually uh everything was really there must be some kind of mistake. And I was like, shut up. The only thing you're basing on top of is I'm fat and I have high blood pressure. But blood pressure alone does not. It's like an indicator for other things. But if you're not finding the other things, shut up. You're just freaking me out.

They're like this. I can tell she so badly wanted to tell me I had high cholesterol too. Do you know what I mean? She was like, oh, okay. I was really rude to him in that room there. That's so sweet.

When you went into that machine, there was something on Twitter where someone got very severely injured because they had a butt plug with metal inside of the butt plug. Oh my God. And they went into the machine and it went and someone said

it must have felt really good for like half a second. Wait, did they get hurt? They died? I think they lived, but their guts. I always hate that phrase. Their friends and family. Rearrange my guts. Because I think about my guts.

But I think whenever I go, I have that thought of like, you know, when you go to a police officer stops and you think like, do I have drugs on me right now? Do I have a metal thing in my ass right now? Did they know or did they just forget? I think they just forgot. Can you imagine living a life like that? That's a messy life, dude. I can't imagine forgetting I have something in my butt like that. There was something I read once where it was like...

I'm not trying to judge anyone. I'm trying to judge. If you forget there's something in your ass you forget there was a thing it was like I don't even forget enough where you're like in a doctor's office where it's like that's one of the places that like you gotta really remember I forget things

in my backpack all the time but I don't feel it if you're like if it's something it's like a it's like a thing for you you're like you like it you know it's like a kink or something and you're like if it's something that you're it's like a it's like a thing for you you're like you like it you know uh it's like a kink or something and you're going clubbing or you're going out to dinner and you like knowing i can see like ways where there's a family dinner well no no i'm just saying well whatever um but like you're into i'm very open-minded but um but i do feel like businesses business things and like you're open okay if we went out to dinner and i said hey you know what i'm sitting on not just the chair i got a butt plug in me right now

i would actually be like okay well now we have something to talk about i would be like okay we're this is gonna be a more interesting night maybe i don't know i though this story it was like this woman she she had i don't know where i read this reddit thing it sounds like a reddit thing her pussy was smelling bad and she like kept smelling kept smelling and turned out that she had forgotten she put in a tampon and then put in like a second tampon so basically she found that she had an old tampon that was all the way up there and she had been in like a sauna or like a hot tub type thing and then then she went into the MRI machine and I guess she also had a metal dildo up there.

So it just packed it as deeply. Well, glad you're healthy, buddy. Yeah, me too. I, uh,

I'm glad you got checked. It took two years. It took a, yeah. I like to think, I remember once I, I told, uh,

uh, uh, our friend Douglas, he needed to like, just go to the doctor for a checkup. And I said, I said, do you I said, do you feel like you want like a friend who like pushes you to do this? And he said, yes, but I don't want it to be you. But that's the thing.

I like to think, listen, I'm not I'm in some ways I'm a good friend. Some ways I'm a shitty friend. But I like to think I am the friend who will say, Hey, go to the doctors. Yeah. But no one likes that friend. No,

no one likes that friend, but it's good to have. It is good to have. It also is like a good reminder of like, uh, yeah. You're like, Oh,

like these bodies, like you're like good. Like let's take care of them. You know, like let's, uh, um, I was like, thankful. I was like, wow's take care of them. I was thankful. I was like, wow, good job.

I didn't know we were going to do it, everyone. How did you tell Nicole? Did you go, Nicole? And she's like, you booked a role for me? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a complete bitch every time I go on the podcast. Listen. bitch every time we go to the podcast. Listen, I did this fish festival.

PH. Do you know fish? I don't know their music. By the way, you sent me your music. I haven't listened to it yet. I apologize. Don't listen to it. I'm going to, but I feel we're just putting on the patreon but uh i was allowed to say that you sent it to me yeah you know the problem is i want to listen to it

but i can't listen with tova there yeah well i told you listen to headphones i know you don't own headphones no i own headphones but then tova says something and i go i'm sorry what and she goes i hate it when you say i'm sorry what and i go okay okay i'll never listen to music again I hate it when you say, I'm sorry, what? And I go, okay, okay. I'll never listen to music again. Tove and I don't like music. Your music will love. But I'm saying like, I was having a coffee

and there was like music outside. I was in New Zealand. No, I was at, I don't know. I was in LA and I felt anger. I felt like, hey, shut up. We didn't ask for music. It's like when someone smokes and there's smoke billowing

and you go like, you can smoke, but like I didn't give you permission. Who was playing it? It's like a random outdoor band and there was a whole outdoor concert. Oh, I was filled with rage. I realized, I think it's because I have a little bit of ADHD and I have so much trouble focusing. I'll try to listen to music when I write and then I get stuck slightly on a thing and immediately

the music has to go off. But you like musicals, which are like famously like the most annoying kind of music can be you know what i mean see but i like i like i like the structure of it i like the beginning middle end songs you go the chorus again and it's the same but they build not fish no i know famously like a jam band they just like long things a jam band which to me like that's like a crowd work comedian. It's like that phrase. I guess, tell me if this is right, because you know what a jam band is probably more than I do.

Did Fish ask for you specifically? No, there's no possible way Fish asked me. In fact, they opened one of the shows in the tent where I guess the bass player, I don't even know his name. Do you know Fish? Yeah. You do. So do you know the bass player's name? No.

Okay. So he started the show.. You do. So do you know the bass player's name? No. Okay. So he like, he started the show. Uh-huh. As like playing bass. No, no. He was like going to start the comedy show off. Oh. And it was just weird.

I was like, oh, the first time you do standup. And he was like, I didn't know. I didn't realize he was, he was the member of the band. Uh-huh. You could tell, like you can tell when someone has money, like the shoes are just really nice and clean yeah and like just the beard is is someone trimmed it that morning yeah uh but he was like he went out and did like a minute of just not i don't know what it was yeah but it's like there's jam it just keeps going and they do have songs but then they just kind of riff in and out of it.

And there's just no arcs or ups and downs. And it's not like a full on like guitar solo. It's just kind of a loose. Yeah. It's all very chill. You got to be fucking on drugs. Yeah. You got to be on drugs.

And, and Phish fans are, they've been fans since this, this Trey, the lead singer was like 18 yeah and uh they they listen they listen to a lot of like bootlegs or they make everything available so they're like oh you gotta listen to the 91 set yeah and they have weird things like rocky horror picture show we're like at this song when he says this you all go oh or you go waka waka or at this part you throw that's the same as like everyone knew for beyonce

when she's yeah like i feel like that they do that yeah but this is just like even more yeah well they have a longer probably thing right but you gotta do it because there's nothing else to to punctuate the song right i couldn't tell you when one song started one song ended they took an intermission i didn't know if it was it was still in the middle of a song. It was, I'm not a musical festival guy. Yeah. And this was like, this was their first festival since 2018, I'm pretty sure. There's other bands.

No. Oh, no. Fish has a rule where there's no other bands. They just play for hours? They play, yeah, they do like two shows and then they have a secret concert, which is like not a secret. Yeah. They just go, hey, here's a secret concert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In 10 minutes on the same main stage. Okay. And everyone goes, we had the secret concert last night. But these people, they go there for days. Yeah. And what's nice is at least they're okay with being made fun of. Yeah. Like I was nervous when I went there.

I didn't want to be the guy at the football game going did they catch the ball into the thing and make the points yeah i wanted to but at the same time i couldn't pretend that i was a fan of this garbage music that i was listening to oh my god i don't know fish at all so i've i have no opinion but i i i think um i like when there's a, like, I do like that. Like if those fans for them, you're like to go for a whole weekend. And if that's their favorite thing that they get to like have a place where there's just enough people that are that obsessed with it, that they can do this festival and they can watch their band multiple times over the weekend. That's great for them. It's not too big where like Taylor Swift couldn't do that.

It would be too many people. Oh, sure, sure. It would be too crazy. So it's like you've got to find the right amount of fandom and thing. You couldn't have Taylor Swift open the comedy show in the tent next door. No, no, no. It would be – Yeah.

And so I believe they said there were – it sounds way too much, but they said 35,000 people were there. I'm sure. And when we get there, they bring me around the gate, you know, the encampment. And they go to the gate because everyone's camping there and they're campers and they're all pissing outside the gate. So my introduction to this festival, we're going around and it's just fish dick after fish dick just pissing like in my general direction as we make our way to the tent oh my god and i think it was just like i guess lollapalooza used to have comedy and then they got rid of comedy and and it makes sense why they don't don't do it because it's just it's not what

people are there for there's so there's so they should have had like, like a clown or like a movement thing. They had like weird art exhibits. Yeah. But comedy is... Something visual that's like... Yeah, comedy is based on like words and, you know, no one's going to fish for the lyrics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we basically did like two shows first on Saturday and they had like a DJ playing outside. Like there was multiple events at the same time. So there's like a DJ playing loudly. Everyone's stoned. And they were like in good, they were like a nice enough audience.

Yeah. But it was just the circumstances were rough. Yeah. And then like the second show. All the cleanings are in one show? It was just me and Jordan Jensen. Oh. So Rory Scoville and the other guy,

they were the two nights before. I was excited to meet Rory, get him on the pod nope um and so jordan and i alternated but then on like the second show i i think when jordan finished they thought the show was done and and i think the the concert was starting shortly after so i walk up on stage and listen i flew from australia to new zealand to la to fucking philly to take an hour-long uber to delaware i did this gig for the story and sometimes i have to remind myself when you do a gig for the story get ready for it not to be a great gig the story is rarely like the gig was great and sure enough i walk up on stage for my 20-minute set with all the fish jokes I worked on stupidly that day and half the audience

is leaving is leaving and like as a comedian you have to address the thing that's happening but at the same time you look like a loser if you're saying for 20 minutes oh more people going no one no one here yeah and

oh man man but then later that night we did we did like a late night show and jordan said i guess rory scoville and i believe his name was drew hill maybe did like they just went on together they decided to just do it together so jordan and i did like a 50 minute set together just loosely like talking to the crowd you do a bit i do a bit of talking it was very cool great that's fun well at some point we got into drugs it's a cool experience because you you just get someone where you get to look at and be like we're uh-oh we're we're losing them we're we're losing them yeah and at

some point we were talking to drugs and we were like i'd take it a shroom so i know this guy named kevin quigley thank you brought me a shroom uhroom. I've never eaten a raw mushroom and I chewed it and I was feeling it for the set. I said, when are you going to do it? If not, the fish. Yeah. So, we're talking about drugs and at some point we talked about heroin and the audience got a little weird. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. You're like, we were talking about shrooms and nitrous gas and, oh, heroin.

You're like, wait a talking about shrooms and nitrous gas and Oh, heroin. You're like, wait a second. Drugs are bad. Then we get off stage. One of the fish fans messaged me on Instagram. Just, just so you know, a trade elite singer,

the band broke up for six years. Cause he was addicted to heroin. And that's why there's a lot of tension around this particular drug, but also trade the lead guitarist guy. He wrote a Broadway musical hands on a hard body. Oh, I've heard of that. So here's what I wanted to do. And you're not the right person

to do this with, unfortunately. But I want to say these fish jokes right here and now. And I need you to laugh at them. How about you give me top three? Okay. I'll give you... Okay, but let me warm you up with seven first.

So, oh, God. Okay, I'll give you Okay, but let me warm you up with seven first No Okay, so Oh, God Wait, is that a bit? Oh my God Oh my God I'm still telling you the jokes But that was a bit That was a bit, okay

No, I'm not looking at still images of Sydney Sweeney. Okay. Fish jokes. Did you for a second, were you like, did you grab my laptop? Yeah. Okay. So I need you to like

get in the head of like, don't look. Okay. God, Jesus Christ. First time listening to jokes. Okay, I can relate to fish heads because I'm a fan of music. I posted this one. I'm a fan of musical theater. So I know what it's like to love something none of my friends want to listen to. Okay.

You think it's hard getting your loved ones into fish? Try putting on cats. Oh, that's good. Fish cats. Fish cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said I was so excited. Did you use this accent when you did it?

Hey, yo. I know what the fish fans are going to like if I do a little Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah. Okay. I did that thing about the pissing outside the gate. I said I had no idea there were so many Jews here. Circumcised. First show I did,

my joke was just, I said, there's no Jews here. And it didn't get a laugh. And then I got, my joke was just, I said, there's no Jews here. And it didn't get a laugh. And then I got another message. People just messaged me throughout telling me all the mistakes they made on my set. They said there's a lot of Jews. Apparently this is like a Jew. This is like when the religious Jews, it's kind of like, this is their naughty thing.

They like, oh my God, I went to the fish show. And they have like, you know, they wear like outfits. Like they have like, there's some donut dress he wore when he was 19 and that's it was like a religion yeah it was like a religion because if someone gets into it later in life that means something really fucked up happened to them oh you hear frank went to the fish concert oh no i had no idea he got divorced oh okay good joke you know nato yeah i like that what do you i just imagine I have a show it's all you's and every time I do a joke

oh okay great okay okay something fucked up you wrote a lot of fish material I wrote a lot well apparently so I'm going to Vermont I'm headlining in Vermont well that's where they started and someone wrote

they said you can tell your fish joke's there so I'm hoping I get one more. Because I tried to film this. I said, I'll release a fish set. And then the AC and the. So you can't hear the three people laughing. So how are you going to gauge that in Vermont? You're going to say, you're going to come right out and be like, any fish fans here?

Or what are you like? You're just going to go for it. I'm going to go right into it as if it were a fish festival. And all the theater kids there. Okay. I think this is, I think this is one of the better ones. I said, it's amazing. I posted I was performing at the fish festival. All these people came out of the woodwork

to write me that they're fans of fish. I mean, different, you know, older people, younger people, potheads, business guys, all with just one thing in common. They were all white. This is probably the only all white gathering the KKK would disapprove of. That's good. Again, someone wrote me, though.

They said, just so you know. Every single joke someone wrote me, they said, just so you know, they might be crunchy granola, but they're not all Bernie Sanders crunchy granola. Some of them are like Alex Jones crunchy granola. And I was like, oh. You leave the bubble and you learn more about the

nuances of the world. But it was impressive. There was nothing, no politics. I didn't see a single political thing there. I got to imagine most of these people not voting. You think? Or writing in Trey, the lead singer. No, I think they're probably voting for someone.

RFK? Maybe. I think if the election were for someone. RFK? Maybe. I think if the election were held there, RFK had a good shot at being president. Okay, okay. Oh, I think I can use this for festivals. They have cops here. There they are.

There's all the drug people. They're right there. You got them all in one. Just raise the fences. Turn this into a prison. I think there's... Because you go there and everyone's doing drugs and there's moments where you

go, these are illegal. Yeah. This is illegal but we've decided here it's legal. That would be a fun character. The one cop that's like, oh my God, I saw a guy doing drugs. We got to...

Okay. Did you have any jokes that you thought of along the way? Oh, no. I will talk as I keep looking for this. Oh, here's so. Okay. So they were donuts. That's like their thing. That's the guy wore a donut dress.

He wore a donut dress. Okay. And they got to cling on to whatever they can. Yeah. I said, it must be so nice to run into a fish head. That's what they call each other out in the wild. I mean, not always. You know, you'd be scared if you're about to get a quintuple bypass

and your doctor put on donut gloves. You'd be like, can we get the Beethoven fan to do the... Yeah, I like that. So I felt very much I shouldn't have spent so much work. How much work? How much time did you spend in writing those jokes? You spent the whole day writing fish jokes? I watched fish documentaries.

I listened to fish music. I do it out of respect for the people watching me. And the least they could do is not leave at the beginning of my set. Give me five minutes. I do think a music festival is a terrible place for comedy. I don't know why.

Is there no way? Why not have a comedy festival like like like like that's outside comedy festivals will have a little music added but that you can add music to a thing i just think that if i'm going to a music festival which again i'm not a music festival guy either but i definitely would not take my breaks from the music to go watch stand-up i think about what you've said a lot where it's like if you're in the audience for uh being in the audience for stand-up is work yes and so like if you've been like out all day like to laugh you have to be engaged you have to i and i respect the performers so i'm like i i would feel bad like not give like being an audience member that's

listening and that's like you know like responding let's play back the last five minutes of this podcast there we go that's what i was hoping for with the the cats joke um but man oh man it was uh was, uh, was there, uh, what was the age rate? Like, was there, there were kids there, there were kids, there weren't that many like old, old, but it was people in their fifties and sixties and, uh, you know, parents and not a lot of, not a lot of teens. I don't think they're getting a lot of new, new fans. I was in New Hampshire and I went to there was uh uh like a David Bowie tribute concert on Saturday night and uh I was visiting Nicole and Nicole's dad and Nicole was there and he got his tickets and we were like part of the thing was like a you take a bus from the town

takes you to dinner then takes you to this concert and they were like there's a little lower turnout than for the i guess it's like a series that they have all summer long for different things and so there's only 10 people on the bus everyone's old except us and well pretty old too but uh but everyone's like in their 70s plus you know yeah um and so we get there and that's kind of the vibe of the concert. I mean, it is David Bowie, you know. But there's young, right? There was.

And then there were like, then there were some young people, but it's a tribute too. And it's the kind of tribute where it's like, it's like basically like he is dressing like him and he's doing an impression. No, he didn't have impression. No, uh, he didn't have the lightning, but he had wigs for different eras and the costumes for different eras. Was it a good impression? It was a pretty decent, um,

speaking impression. Is he British? I forget. Uh, yeah. So he, yeah. He would talk like him.

Yeah. But it kind of, what was amazing about it is I was like, Oh, this is a pretty older venue, but then the group sounded good. And it was thing. People started getting up and I was like, this is a pretty older venue but then the the group sounded good and it was the thing people started getting up and i was like oh people are getting up people are getting on the chairs and then kind of it kind of went like people got into it like

older and then it was like the funny thing about that age great the boomers like then they were just like halfway through the thing they were just screaming screaming out David Bowie songs, demanding. Do you know what I mean? This guy has a set list he's going to do. He's going to do the hits. They were just screaming out random David Bowie songs. And the guy was genuinely like, we didn't know if you'd like this song.

But it was like people were so aggressive about it. They'd be like, sing and you're like, calm down. Like he's going to do the set. Let's see prepared. Like anyways.

Um, but I was surprised at how into people were, people were getting up. People were having fun. I did have fun. It was fun. Um, and it was nice.

It was like clean bath. It was an outside thing, but it was like a nice clean, uh, and it wasn't a festival it was just like one concert at night sure I'm trying to think like who would want to see a tribute because it's weird was there any part of it weird where you're like he's dead absolutely weird

I mean and you're like I just love the music so much but I honestly think I would like it more if you weren't dressed like him do you know what I mean like if you were just doing the songs and like thing, I think there is a weird element of like, well, he's dead and you're like dressed like him.

Do you know what I mean? I would love like standup comedy is one of those things where no one really, there's like Rodney Dangerfield party. Bill Cosby impression. Yeah. Can you imagine someone being like, listen, we all like Bill Cosby.

We all liked his comedy. Let's separate it to make it even different. We'll have a white comedian do it. Oh my God. Let's see what people get more upset about. That they're redoing Cosby or that it's a white guy doing all

the Cosby jokes. It's not like Cosby said it. Cosby never... Can you imagine a TV reboot of Cosby right now with the whole original cast except Cosby's played by a white man? He's still alive, man. I'm trying to work on... Felicia Rashad.

She defended him. Recently? I think. Who's going to bat recently? Who's Felicia Rashad? Who's Felicia Rashad? Who's Felicia Rashad? Sorry. She's a very famous actress who played his wife on the show. By the way, this has got to stop.

Just tell me who the fuck it is. What, are you mad? You mad at me? Who did you think I was talking about? It's like when Toad. Here's what Toad would do. Who's Felicia Rashad? Felicia Rashad.

Don't repeat the name. Well, I heard you. I thought you're such a musical theater boy. You would know that she is a big Broadway person and she played his wife on the TV show. Anyone who defends Cosby, I remove them from my brain. Your brain? You're gone.

I don't know. Maybe she's not done that recently, but she did do it. Just say allegedly and you can say whatever you want. Allegedly. Okay, yeah. You're right. You you're right cosby allegedly did the things by the way i had a clip where we like no he's in jail he did it no he got out of jail but he threw the case out no did they really i believe that's why he got out of jail i don't even listen just so we

all know because i made a joke about i made a joke about this our new segment kevin spacey is innocent and someone commented on the video that they said, ugh, you're defending Kevin. And I'm like, listen. We love Kevin. We love Kevin. He's going to be on next week's episode. Would you have Kevin Spacey on right now if he asked?

No. No. I think there's... Chris and I just shared looks. You shared looks? I think you would. I think you would. You think I would?

I think you should. What? Really? To grill him? I would be so much trouble. Nah. We could grill him. You take it in a direction.

I'm going to bring it up right out the gate. I'm going to say... Yeah. I'm going to say, so if you if you were to grab someone's balls at a bar me or russell no i think we would a of all we would i would mainly be curious about uh the videos that he makes on christmas and like what sure even if he didn't do it why is he making those videos it seems weird i mean he didn't make one this year

because he's working now yes he is he's he's he's i feel like this was the year i felt certainly of like all it's just here we get kevin back this is the year we get him back house of cards baby bring him back this was the year i felt if you agree we're like uh a lot of those guys uh-huh uh from the era of of of Me Too started to be like, oh, you're working again. Yeah. Some spaces have gone. I think the public's waited long enough. There's a couple others.

Certainly in Europe, they were. Sure. I mean, Woody Allen's like, he's making his movies. I just know Kevin Spacey was like, there's a couple other actors. I have to think about it, but it just felt like there was a little bit of like, oh, I mean,

I think James Franco is in a movie coming up somewhere. Okay, here we go. We got to have one on the pod. Numbers are hurting. James or Kevin? Let's just rank me two allegations. James Franco or Kevin?

Yeah. Oh, I think, um, I think that's a good question. James, I'd want to be like, can we talk about the other acting classes you taught? Because we love talking about acting theory. I don't think either one of them would be a good interview. You know what I mean? Like even outside of what they did, I don't think we'd have fun. Do you know what I mean?

So you're like, I don't care about the crimes. I'm just basically who would have the greatest conversation. I don't think it would be a fun, worthwhile thing. Yeah, it'd be stressful. It'd be very stressful. Okay, here we go. I got a good challenge for you. Okay.

Who would you rather have as a podcast? Okay. Bill Cosby. Oh, my God. Or Hillary Clinton. Okay. Well, I say why don't we have both of them at the same time? Can you imagine?

Can you imagine? I think if we're going to get someone who sexually assaults people, we might as well get her husband. I think it would be. Allegedly. I think it would be a big episode. We'd do some serious numbers. I mean, everyone would be so confused. I don't even big episode we do some serious numbers i mean everyone

would be so confused i don't even know everyone would tune in out of hatred no i'd rather have her on in the way of like if we if okay i'd rather have her on and the rule is we'd have to be real do you know what i mean there's there is going to be during this theoretical podcast a security service a secret service agent right there yeah there's going to be, during this theoretical podcast, a security service, a secret service agent right there. There's going to be a red light right here. And you're going to be like, all right, Hillary, time to ask you the real questions. I think it would be hard as people pleasers.

It would be a hard challenge for us to be authentic with her. Don't you think? Yeah, I think we'd have to have some like stats. And I think that would be more interesting than like having to navigate Cosby, you know? Sure. That's stressful. That's like stressful in a very different way.

Because again, at least if we're people pleasers with someone that people like a lot, then rather than people pleasers with someone that is universally hated, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well. Thinking about us in this. Our next episode, I think, is going to be Taylor Ortega. So we're in the clear for that one. Oh, God. What was I going to say?

About someone being canceled? Who's problematic? Recently? I guess since this is topical, we can talk about politics. There's not much to talk about with what's going on right now. Everyone's excited about Kamala.

And we agreed to tone down our criticism just to help her. You know, we'd rather have her over Trump. Just to help her. New York is a swing state. And we are controlling it. She needs DeMarco and Russell. Okay, the DNC. Gutenberg says we're performing at the DNC. Gutenberg says

we're performing at the DNC. Gutenberg's calling me. They're calling you. They're saying Josh is sick. Can you please fill... Andrew calls you. Andrew Edel says, please, can you come into the DNC? We need you. Yeah, definitely. And Bill Clinton's gonna come and that's very...

It is incredible that Bill Clinton is at this thing. It is incredible. It is incredible that Bill Clinton is at this thing. It is incredible. No, because like J.D. Vance mentioned, you know, he said like Kamala in charge of the economy is like Jeffrey Epstein in charge of imports, exports. And it's like, it's so crazy that for both parties, they talk about Epstein. Everyone talks about epstein online yeah the fact that he's bringing up epstein like proves just how he's like he's like an online guy yeah and from you know we're both online guys to a degree yeah we bring out weird references and

people go what are you talking about yeah and it's like both these guys were friends yeah they were all friends yeah i wish i do wish they could there could be a rule or something because nothing is going to happen with Epstein stuff the rest of our lives we just have to talk about Epstein all the time and how random people were connected to him and there were no consequences they always say leak the list and it's like they did

and we didn't do anything about it we don't know we leaked the pictures did you not see the pictures? You need a list? You know, so I'm like, this is now the rest of our lives. We're just talking about Epstein. Can I say, like, Trump shared some, like, it was like an AI image of Taylor Swift going, I choose Trump for president.

And people go, like, I understand that at some point AI is going to be indistinguishable from reality. But when they share these pictures, I'm like, well, that's clearly a fake image right who gives a shit people made fake it looks photoshopped yeah it doesn't look like oh my god is that taylor yeah is that taylor in the uncle sam outfit with the sign that says i vote for trump yeah and i just don't it was the same thing there it's i can't i think i'm tired of like people acting like all this ai generative stuff is not going to be used almost exclusively for pornography. Yeah. Like there's all this conversation around it. And I'm like, we can have it.

But just so we're all aware, don't be surprised that most of the AI is going to be used for you use it. They put us in it and you can make a video of us. Oh, my God. They're going to put us in there fucking each other, aren't they? Of course. They're going to be used for you use it they put us in it and you can make a video of us oh my god they're gonna put us in there fucking each other aren't they of course they're gonna do it of course the government if i if i open my laptop again it's gonna be a video of us fucking but like would you watch that video would i watch a ai generated video of us fucking i mean absolutely i'm gonna watch that just for a little bit the whole thing not the whole I'm not are you going to watch like are you going to watch are you going to watch the

story part of it at the beginning about like how did we get into this that's the main thing I'm interested in is like how are they going to put us in a thing it's probably going to be this we're in an episode with Chris here Chris no keep the camera on Chris at the end being like

What the fuck's going on here Yes Perfect No, I'm assuming we'd get in some sort of heated thing Like a discussion And then that would turn passionate If I was pitching the AI point Is that how you get into sex? It's a fight

Well, I mean, I just think that makes sense between you and I. When I'm mad at someone, I don't want to give them the pleasure of my body. But Gianmarco, I mean, you've seen like Brokeback Mountain, you know? And they're like this. It's kind of like, we can't do this. I think it would be like that. I could see you spin on my asshole hide isn't that what he does in Broke My Mouth

I don't remember it that well I don't know if he does it on his hand and puts it on the asshole or he just goes right on the asshole I'll have to watch it again can you imagine if he kept missing and he just spit like 10 different just like go hold on hold on oh my god yuck

not that that's yuck. I'm saying you doing that. What is yuck about that to you? Well, okay. It's the equivalent of I don't want to have sex with you. Okay. I was just getting a very visceral image of it. And it's not because you're a man.

It's because you're my friend. You know? Okay. Don't you think we're too close? I you know, to have sex? Yeah. I think we'd be too, we're too close to have like amazing sex. I think

we would have like sweet sex. I don't think it would be sweet. I think it would be, I don't know think it would be i don't know what it would be i'm thinking about it too much right now we're not airing any of this this isn't even for the patreon for the patreon this is just an upsetting conversation um that we've entered well let's uh that we enter a lot um um yeah yeah. We got to keep the rumors going. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.,.,.,.,.,.,., world in my hand i'll take this and that and that oh and this oh it's true find everything you want on sale at the sephora savings event it only happens twice a year and it's on now through november 11th find brands like rare beauty glow recipe valentino k18 and more all for less shop at sephora today limitations apply must be a insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. Wait, also, I think I texted you. Nicole asked me the other day if I could be in anyone's body for 24 hours.

And I want to get your answer on this one. Who would it be? If I give my answer, are you going to give your answer? I gave my answer to Nicole very honestly. But I'm saying you're going to give it publicly. You told me told me well can i read it no i can i can say it um i said honestly if i had to be in anyone's body for 24 hours and i think she was thinking she the way she asked it because then she had her answer i could tell was different she was thinking of like her answer was like young julia roberts and i was like and i was it to do the

same thing that you were gonna do with your answer no i think it was like to go out and like be in the world and like get people's like heads and my answer was the honest answer which was sydney uh-huh and i'm just not leaving the house i'm just like very much in that house look doing what i don't know. Just dishes and things. You know. But I was like, I'm going to give the real answer because it was funny because I could just tell that her answer was very different

in her head and was like, oh, I hadn't even thought we could take it that angle. You know, I said Sydney Sweeney and I wouldn't leave the house. Just fully spread eagle the whole day filming everything. I think she respected the honesty. You didn't say that. No,

I didn't say that. You didn't say that part to your wife. I didn't type that to you. Oh, okay. Uh, yeah, I,

that's not my, that's not my answer. What would your answer be? I, if you're, if you're picking anyone, you know what, you know what angle my answer is going to be around.

It's going to be like I would be like a dancer, a singer, like I'd be like Lady Gaga in a big concert and it'd be like I would move. And then I'd go home and I just spread eagle for the two hours. Your answer involves fame. Oh, I'm sorry. Your answer. I'm sorry. Sidney Sweeney is pretty famous, man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying that's that sorry your answer i'm sorry sydney sweeney is pretty famous man yeah yeah i'm saying that's that was your answer too but yours had to involve a performance yeah

yours is strictly like i'm just gonna look at myself naked and feel what it's like to be a woman only 24 hours i'm not saying like let's do it for you know i'm saying if i'm lady gaga i'm going to i'm gonna i want to be able to like dance and sing like that or i'd be like a bra i'd be like bernadette peters and i do like i guess i can dance and sing so i like as sydney sweeney no one's gonna want to see that no i'm saying like as russell i already get that experience performing like okay you know man i think you want to be Lady Gaga. I didn't have a lot of terrible body pains.

Like she has like a thing. You'd be in pain the whole time. And I'd be a younger pop star. I'd be a Camilla Cabello, but she doesn't dance. I would be, I would be a pop. I'd also be, I could be a guy pop star. I could be a, oh, you know, again, people are going to say, oh, you're just saying a gay thing. I would be a Troye Sivan or Lil Nas X.

Why? Just to dance. Just to do like a big show and everyone's dancing. And I'm like, I'm like sexy. And I'm like, I don't think my answer is less respectable than your answer. I do think it is. I think it's not honest. You think I'm being honest right now? No, I think you are, but I don't

know why you need to be a dancer for 24 hours. You can dance now. I would be Joe Biden and call for a ceasefire. But your answer was great. Sidney Sweeney's spread eagle. That's great. That's not what I said. I did say it would involve

Sidney Sweeney and I probably wouldn't be wearing clothes the whole time but I would be respectful. It's a beautiful relationship you have with your wife that you could just say that. I would have to say I'd be you sweetheart at Spread Eagle.

Oh my God. Spread Eagle is such a, is such a, it's a harsh graphic term, which is, that's how I know that that's what you're putting in the search bar. You know what I mean? I'm not putting that.

That's from Chicago. This we're calling this episode spread. I was going to call this white coat syndrome. Now I'm going to spread Eagle with Russell and Joe Marco. Where does that phrase come from? I think it's Chicago the Musical. There's no way that Chicago the Musical meant that. Make a bet.

50 bucks right now. No, never mind. It's Cell Block Tango. Chris is Googling Spread Eagle. He puts an S. It's just immediate. Spread Eagle. Russell out City Sweet.

Spread Eagle. Russell S. City Sweet. Spread Eagle. Stop saying that. I don't. She walks in on cell block tango. I saw him there. It's from the 1560s, you idiot. I should have taken you up on 1560s. I feel like it probably had like,

it used to be like about sandwiches or something. No, Chicago the Musical. Do Chicago the Musical. She walks in and there he was with the other dancer. Spread Eagle. It's right there. 1560s. But put in Chicago.

John Markle. Chicago the Musical. I'm saying they used it in Chicago the Musical. Yeah, it's been used probably everywhere since the 1560s. It's surprising that it was in a musical. Ah, there we go. Velma Kelly, Catherine Zeta-Jones, is double trouble, having killed both her husband and her sister

after catching them in a bed together, or she puts it, doing number 17, the spread eagle. Okay, it didn't come from that show, though. So if I could be anyone, it would be that dancer in that number. Oh, my God. Wouldn't you love to be able to, like... Why don't you pick Bob Fosse or something? I don't know, like... Because I want to be able to like well why do you pick up like a bet like why don't you pick Bob Fosse or something I don't know like because I want to like do be able to do what a woman does and dance I don't think of Lady Gaga that's what it is that's what it is

it's Lady Gaga so get rid of Lady Gaga I want to dance I want that new singer there's one new singer her songs aren't that great but she's like a fucking dancer okay okay i just want to be a woman for a day a dancer and and no and just because of they can dance in the way that women can dance yeah that's the only thing and belt i want to i want to wail i want to oh i want to when i listen to like broadway numbers and a woman singing in my head. Yeah. And this is how I listen to music. This is not like a choice.

In my head, I am simultaneously first person and third person singing and watching myself sing. And just like, just, just crushing. When you listen to music, you don't imagine you're like the one going like one of your LCD, like, I'm sad. Not really. I miss high school. Not really. Sadness creeps up on you. Time moves fast.

No, but I, you know, I can, I, no, I don't, I don't think so. I don't think I put myself in the thing, but maybe, maybe sometimes for sure. I can think of things in my life, but I don't, I don't put myself in the thing but maybe maybe sometimes for sure uh i can think of things in my life but i don't i don't put myself in the thing and i certainly don't put myself in the thing and put myself in the audience watching myself in the thing because that is a level of um it's really it's like you know some people you know some people they want to have sex and they have a mirror so they see themselves yeah it's like that's performing for me yeah i mean really zoom shows were my favorite thing to do because i can perform while watching myself perform holy shit okay we're really getting into it now um oh god

well good for you on your well who did your wife say i told you julie roberts julie roberts young julie roberts yeah i guess that's a good answer why you run out of things to talk about you had to i don't she well we do the thing sometimes where you're just like you know throw out a question and find out the answer you know tova sent me this really it was it was a cute tiktok it was like a couple i guess it was caught on like the ring cam or something but she said to him she's like i guess they had been fighting and she's like you feel it we're falling back in love you know we're not fully there but like we're about to kiss soon and he was so like he was he couldn't like keep a straight face but

it would like capture this moment of like a relationship where like you have a fight and like gradually you like are recovering from the fight and you're entering the phase of like you're fun again it was very cute it was real it was real i mean yeah i think it was real yeah i think i i think i have a good eye for being like this is acting me too uh there's so many fake videos now on on twitter that it drives me it's so not fun as soon as i click on it i can you can feel it and you're like no i'm not watching this there's like a funny there's some guy and i don't know if any of them are real, frankly, but they used to be better where he's like a super bodybuilder, but he's not huge. And he wears like a janitor outfit and he's like cleaning up at a gym.

Yeah. And he'll be like, oh, do you mind if I move this barbell? And it's some big muscly guy. And he's like, okay. And he like picks it up with one hand. And you see the guy go. Yeah. And when it's fake, I just go just go well who gives a shit then that's

not fun yeah it's not fun at all um we were talking about the boom guys i bring the boom uh there's this there's this family they look like italian italian yeah like new jersey i imagine if i'm gonna guess new jersey staten island. And they go to Costco and I don't know I don't know if there's anyone not watching this ironically. I don't know either. I don't really, I don't, you know, I...

And you want to talk about a family that's going to be scared of heart issues someday. I mean, this dad is like huge but doesn't look like, he's like gigantic but his sons, they're big sons and they go around I mean, this dad is like huge, but doesn't look like he's like gigantic. But his sons, they're big sons and they go around Costco and they rate things in Costco on the boom meter and they give everything five booms. Everything is five booms. And I've seen a couple now where they try some other things and they, but they basically every video they go around and and they eat the shitty foods at Costco.

And their favorite food is the double chunk chocolate cookie. I give it five booms. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then it goes to someone else like, I had the hot dog. Whoa. I give it five. And it's a video. It's 38 minutes.

Yeah. And they give everything five booms. Yeah. And it's a video. It's 38 minutes. Yeah. And they give everything five booms. Yeah. And it's the whole family. And then it's the extended family. And it's some new weird Italian. And oh, it's the pizza owner Italian. And this Italian. And something about it feels evil.

Like it just, you imagine at some point, this little kid will write a book that's called Growing up with my dad zero booms and and it's it's just like the father they're all most of them have terrible most of them don't have charisma per se yeah so the father he's just like dead eyes and every time the kid goes i give it five booms he goes yeah the fakest laugh it makes me um so angry and i don't know um and you keep sending it to me and i something about it fascinates me but what is it so popular why because i think like social media has trained us to accept a version of entertainment that's so low like a low hum i think society when it gets worse this is all i'm pulling this out my ass but i feel like when society gets worse you seek security you seek consistency and as i'm watching

re-watching entourage because like there's something about it that's comforting it doesn't challenge me like this it's an even lower version of that where it's like i'm just gonna go on tiktok everything's gonna get five booms global warming's not coming to kill us all but do you think like do you ever find yourself trying to think of like what could who is ringing what No one lives here. What could... Do you ever find yourself thinking of, what could I make that could get this many eyes on it and be that kind of quality of something?

Like, not good, but like, what's a dumb thing I could create? I've been trying my whole life. Like, can you just like, what would it be? You know? You go to a store, can you just like, what would it be? You know? Well, that's. You go to a store. Your thing is like you go to a store and every time they tell you how much you owe, you say, hell no.

And you just get that interaction filmed. I think I would have to do like a very Jewy one. Yeah. Where it'd be like, come on. That much? That much? Oh my God. I give this five. It cost a little bit much.

And then I say it. It cost a little bit much. It cost a little bit much. No, I guess you can't do boom. What was this? I don't know. You're like you're like you wanted money, you know, like. Oh, wait.

So you were too scared to do the full gesture. So you thought it'd be less offensive to do a fake version. You were going to say, come on, come on. Oh, is that a bad gesture? No, I think if you're saying as a, I said Jew. You said it costs too much. I was trying to add a gesture that meant money. I think it would be like, is this a good sale?

And it would be like, I give it five. I got a good deal. I got a good deal. I got a good deal. They're stealing good deal. I got a good deal. They're stealing their thing, though. It's like we need to create a whole new thing. For like eight for Hanukkah? No.

I give it eight. Crazy sales. Oy, oy, oy, oy. It really makes me mad, though. What would yours be? No, I don't have anything. It makes me mad thinking about it. I want you to make a sketch where you're like some new character and in some way you do, you know, you do something that doesn't fit the regular structure.

Doesn't fit the real structure. What would it be? Instead of the five booms, it's, you know, I don't know what would it be. I mean, you'd have to have the other family doing the five booms. What feels abusive about it is like, and look, I'm not here to body shame. But if your whole business is based on your kids just eating shitty food, and that's what pays the bills, it just doesn't feel like- Does it pay the bills? I feel at some point the father, they're going to go to the doctor, and they're going to have to go, oh, we went to Costco and today instead of the double chunk chocolate cookie, we got string beans.

That's like man versus food. Remember? He used to go and do those challenges. And then at some point they're like, you're going to die. So he would host the show still, but didn't eat the thing. Like he would like, he did something. He changed it. This is a good time to bring up

because this was way back in our downside history yeah but there was someone talking to russell and me about doing a food tv shows before we had the podcast yeah and he is like his idea was her i think it's her she was like okay here's the pitch for um what the show could be i want to make it clean for the clip i hate how my brain is in i know so russell and i someone wanted to make it clean for the clip. I hate how my brain is in there. I know. So Russell and I, someone wanted to make a food TV show for us. And their pitch was we would go somewhere and order everything off the menu and eat all of it. Yeah. We're in the meeting and we said. And she pitched this in the meeting to us and was like, and the way she set it up, the pitch is like, she's like, all right, so here's the pitch.

And then she told us that and we said so we had like we'd have like a bite of everything and she said no you'd eat everything and then she goes she goes what do you think about that and then she goes what do you think some like things that might come up for you like she was like and we i was like i was like we throw up every episode like what like we're just come up for us a funeral arrangements what and then we thought i don't know if we pitched this or they pitched this but it was the idea no we didn't pitch this to them we we joked after this meeting went nowhere that's the idea so the first season russell doesn't eat any of it and I eat all of it and our

body mass index has changed completely by the end. And I'm skinny and then the second season we switch and I eat everything and he gets skinny and I get fat again. I mean, I think people would watch the hell out of that.

I think we would have to do a TV show. We would get to play like. How come we didn't get that TV show? We would get to play like a role in a movie that like required that transformation. Yeah. Because I remember Christian Bale. Christian Bale, who's like, he was the craziest of body transformations. He did The Machinist, I think it was called. Yeah.

Where he like got so like, I mean, it's crazy. Wait, did you ever hear the story of um ron gosling he was hired for the movie lovely bones lovely by peter jackson and he gained a bunch of weight for it and he he went to meet up with peter jackson before they filmed and peter jackson's like no one asked you to do that and he got fired right didn't he yeah and he got fired. Right? Didn't he? Yeah. He got fired and replaced with someone skinnier. Someone skinnier because he's like no one asked you

to do that man. That's very funny. I want you to do this boom character. Oh. I want you to do it on my show. My show

The Silver Lining my new material show which I do mostly in New York. I wanted to expand it to have more characters and I have two character actors coming on soon.

Do you think it's like, okay, so they're always adding family members, you know? So if you have it, like, maybe it's a family member who's racist. Or I was going to say recently out of prison. Like, that's the reason why he's in this problematic history. Yeah. You know, I mean, probably like, you know. Yeah. Okay. So, all let's let's rip it out i there could be one there could be one who's who's doctor as whose doctor has one

of the doctors has their doctor has said you you can't eat any more chocolate chump cookies but they got to keep doing the show so he keeps trying to take like a little bite, like a little bite of the cookie. And the dad's like, no, cut. You got to take a big bite. It's like, please, I'm going to die. There could be, what would the prison one? Or they, I mean, I think what's funny is that

they're clearly sponsored. And every time they're sponsored, they have to give it five booms. Yes. And so there's something about. Things that are bad that they're clearly sponsored and every time they're sponsored, they have to give it five booms. Yes. And they can have different things that are bad that they sponsor. Yeah. But I, but I,

yeah. Or, or like someone is like, no, no, I believe in the integrity of the boom meter. Boom meter. This is no more than a two booms.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of different ways. I think, I wonder though, okay. It's one of those things where I'm like, is everyone seeing all this? Do you know what I with the yeah that's the i mean this is a

problem with the internet but sometimes you'll say it to someone in the book what the fuck are you talking about i think you do it i think the version of the sketch and i once wanted to write a sketch about the jimmy kimmel halloween prank yeah which is the videos are listen some prank videos are funny and you just got to admit it and they're wrong, but they're funny. Yeah. And the Jimmy Kimmel one is where they say we ate all the Halloween candy. And mine was like a support group of people who had like lost trust in authority figures because their parents, you know, pranked them like this. So I think the funny version is like 30 years later, like my book idea.

Yeah. Of it's just like you being interviewed. You are the son grown up. Yeah. And it's you confronting your father or I guess all my sketches are confronting your father. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I had a thing that never went to, we had canceled it the day of the show. I don't think you were in the show. Um, uh, Jimmy Kimmel, the Halloween sketch.

Oh, what was, what was it? Uh, the joke was just like that it went wrong like that like the something you never see like like the family was excited because they wanted to get on kimmel and then the kid was like goes fucking crazy and like reveals all this like dark shit about their family and it's like you know like like and they still submit the video to kill no they're horrified like i can remember. It was one of those days though, where it was like,

no one memorized the lines. And I was so mad and I was like, okay, well we're canceling it. We're not. And then people were like, no, no.

I was like, no, you don't know. Like, it's not going to be good. So we're, you know, it's one of those things where the sketch didn't work that well.

Sure. And then also people didn't know the lines. And I was like, okay, fuck this. We're not doing it. You know? And I'm so quick.

I'm like, if I don't think, if I don't think it's going to be a thing, it's getting cut. Well, let's play. We got 10 minutes until we cut to the Patreon. We're going to play. So this is an excerpt from one of our live shows. We're going to announce some new live shows soon,

a little bit of a West Coast tour. Yeah. And as I said, for the Patriot, October 2nd, we're going to release an episode of all the highlights from the tour in D.C., Boston, Philly, just audio because the videographer

lost all the footage. And then New York. So this is got to stop with Scott Cease in D.C. Let's play that video. This has got to stop with Scott Cease in D.C. Let's play that video. This has got to stop. Your friend's toxic boyfriend. When I read that, I was like, Russell?

And then I agree. You ever have a friend who has a bad boyfriend or bad girlfriend? You don't know how to say it? Or a bad wife? Yes, yes. That's happening currently, and I feel like they'll listen to this, so I don't want to say. Oh, okay. All right, all right.

Oh, my God. You read this next one, Russell. I'm not reading that one. I mean, I'm just reading. I'm allowed to read it, right? You're allowed to read it. I'm allowed to read. Careful, careful.

Tenacious D. Tenacious D. Listen, Russell might leave this over me, but it says failed assassinations. So next up is... Moving along. Moving along. Moving along. Our faces are neutral.

We're just sitting here. We're just sitting here. I can't wait. Russell has an Instagram post like, I had no idea that was coming today. I'm leaving the downside. Someone shows the video of him laughing at it right here. Jack Black, you son

of a bitch. Oh, two item minimums. I don't know. It's too soon. It's too soon. Guys, if there was not a two item minimum

that would mean I would have to somehow sell you tickets to this show for like $75 so I have to defend them

just for that dying your dog poodles like okay we should have combined the dog ones dying when you see like

when they like make them look like a panda or a tiger. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's just animal abuse, isn't it? Well, if I got a beard trim, was I abusing myself or was I making myself look sexier?

I mean, I guess, but the dog is not choosing it. The dog's not going to CVS like this shade, please. The dog's not making a lot of choices. We're doing forced vaccinations of the dog, too. I guess you're right. That's true. That's true.

That's true. I think of all the things we put animals through, dying their hair. How about you say to the dog, hey, you're lucky we don't eat you, okay? Oh, my God. So guess what? You're green today.

Oh, my God. You can either be green or in between two pieces of bread. It's up to you. Wow. I don't have dogs, so it's okay. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Okay, here we go.

Here we go. Oh, people should come out to protest. Oh, for we go. Here we go. People should come out to protest. Oh, for a second. It said people should come out to protest NetYahoo 11 a.m. at Lafayette Square. Great. Was that today? Wow. Tomorrow.

We have an early plane or else we would be there. No, that's good. 11 a.m. guys. There you go. Lafayette Square. Watergate tonight, 8 p.m. What time is it now? Is it at 8 p.m.? Yeah, you guys made a choice

where your morals stand tonight. We can't go now. Cybertrucks, 100%. Oh, I hate Cybertrucks. I hate Cybertrucks. Whatbertrucks need to stop. I hate Cybertrucks. What the fuck? A car with a corner. A car with a corner, yes.

A car with a corner. Yeah, it looks like it would be like when Tetris gets really hard, that would be one of the pieces that came out all of a sudden. What I hate about Cybertrucks, first, it's really hard for me to separate this from my hate

for Elon Musk, to be honest. True. I hate him. As it's really hard for me to separate this from my hate for Elon Musk to be honest true I hate him as anyone should anyone who has that much money you should hate by the way look at the top 100

including who Russell hates Oprah I don't hate Oprah I just she did introduce us to Dr. Phil watch the episode

and tell me if Russell doesn't hate Oprah you said I hate Oprah into the camera. I thought you were saying Russell was rich for a second. I know, I did too. I know, I was like, oh my God. I'm not the top 100 billionaire. Can you imagine if I look at the top 100 and I'm like,

Russell J. Taylor? Russell? Why am I paying for his Amtrak? Oh my. And he still wants a two item minimum. God damn him. So when people watch this episode, that footage will just play or we'll just have us staring up at the screen.

I don't know. What do you think sounds better? Let's go with whatever you think. Yeah, no, I think it'll be there. Because we didn didn't interject or anything so let's just add that clip in so it's not just us looking like yeah you know what just like every episode before this i'll take care of it yeah so we got we got some good stuff we have uh and we got douglas to to watch it that's gonna come out october 2nd yeah that'll be on the. And we got some good... We had some good moments in Philly, but they are audio.

I could not fucking believe it. Videographers, man. Well, we're getting close to switching over to the Patreon part. I do think... Tell me if you think we should do this.

I wanted to play that I'm trying to entice people to join the Patreon so they can see I'm going to talk about the Delta the Delta incident I'm going to I think we should watch that Matt Rife promo clip

did you ever watch it that I sent it to you? you watched the whole thing? I didn't watch the special no not the special but it was that promo clip no I watched the clip it was so I like when we watch like a really bad comedy thing I do have hesitation

I don't know listen on the Patreon no one's going to listen to it unless you want to join I'll give you my full opinion. It's a complicated opinion. It's a complicated opinion.

No, but I have suddenly I have a thing going off in me like, we can talk about it on the Patreon. No, listen, I feel like it's easy to, listen, Matt Reif, whatever, there's something in me that's like, I don't know, easy to listen. It's Matt Rife, whatever.

There's something in me that's like, I don't know. Should we make fun of comedians? I hear what you're saying. I know you mean. I know. I hear what you're saying. I just think like, I just think there's some degree, not even calling out because we're not going to watch it and go. You shouldn't.

You shouldn't call a character fat Rife and like make the laziest fat joke while wearing a bad fat suit. Yeah. Yeah. And like, it's not that it's more just like, I think there's, there's,

there's sometimes my thing is like comedy. That is that people get annoyed with sometimes even offensive where they say it's offensive. I go, it's also bad. And we can like, we can, I think there's been a conflation of like oh there's been a claim for some of these comedians of oh are you offended oh you must be offended and that's why i don't

know if you want to talk about this on this but i had something to say it uh well i uh this uh recently i was around some older people and they did the yield thing when they found out that I do comedy and I've done Broadway and stuff. They, they started talking about comedy and they're like, oh, you know, well, it must be so hard nowadays to do comedy, uh, because people are so sensitive and they, they actually, they asked in a genuine way. They weren't like confrontational. They asked like, is it hard? And I said, honestly, no, I've not like, you can say what you want to

say. I was like, it just depends on who the base of support that you've built up. And I feel like sometimes like if you built up a base, that's going to get mad about a lot of things. There's, that's one thing. If you built out a base that is demanding that you say the most crazy thing, then that's something else. Or if you've built out people who like, like a good joke and it can, I was like, it really depends on the base of people that you've built up for yourself. And I was like, honestly, too, from my own experience, I've looked back at things that I wrote sketches.

I wrote 10 years ago and I'm like, eh, too, from my own experience, I've looked back at things that I wrote, sketches I wrote 10 years ago. And I'm like, I don't find that funny anymore. That's when I'm like, I can see what I was going for there. But it's not that I'm offended. It's more that this feels hacky now. And it feels like it doesn't resonate as interesting or funny anymore. Well, I'll tell you a joke that I regretted. funny anymore well i'll tell you a joke that i that i regretted i posted uh in australia and i took it down where i was i was in australia and the whole break dancing thing happened and i was

i was in sydney and i was like well how incredible is this i'm in australia this thing happened it's so big it's like a rare cultural moment that everyone knows about in the room and it happened that day yeah and so like first the joke was just the tweet where it was like uh i just found out i'm the best break dancer in australia and and then you know i wanted a little more meat on the bone and so i again and this is all and this is also the other thing that i think is like with offensive comment or like comedy where you go like, ah, that was shitty. Sometimes it's just like it's lazy or it's quick or you didn't like think it through or you're just going for like – you're like trying to like – It's quick. It's quick if you're not thinking.

Yeah. And normally there's plenty of jokes that I would like go like I stand by that joke. And this was like – so then the next beat was, my girlfriend said, hey, at least she was true. She gave it her best. She gave it her best, which my girlfriend did not say. And I go, give it her, give it her best. It's the Olympics.

It's not about giving it your best. And then the punch, I needed one last punch and that's the special Olympics. And it was like, you know, it worked. Here's the thing also. It's like and it was like you know it worked here's the thing also it's like when you do live entertainment is you it worked it worked in the room i got a big pop everyone laughed and you know obviously the joke that i was trying to go for is just like uh that's not what the olympics are about and i needed it's that's blah blah blah and in the 10 seconds before stage i said oh this this works yeah and then it felt exciting and then i go oh let me put this online like everyone else you do it right in the moment

and then of course you know an hour later people said oh that's kind of shitty yeah are you kind of using this thing yeah russell wrote i love that joke that's the best joke you've ever written in the entire life no i i tried to see i you had already taken it down by the time you were some people who wrote someone wrote like where'd that joke oh i like that joke and it's just like but that was the one where it wasn't that i said uh-oh i'm getting in trouble frankly i feel like those times have passed to a degree or i've said or i've built up as you said like a fan base that goes like i like darker whatever things but the criticisms to me felt like, yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah.

You're right. There's no need. There's no need to drag this to like shit on this thing. Yeah. And also logically you could go like, well, even the special Olympics, it's not,

it's not, uh, anyone given their best shot. It's like the best in that, in whatever category it is. If it's people running without that, don't have their full legs, it's the best.

It's not about giving the best shot. So it also doesn't make sense fully logically. It just hinges on the fact that saying Special Olympics as a punchline. Yeah, it's something we've been trained to do. As opposed to Shane Gillis has like a Special Olympics bit that is, I think is really smart where he basically is like,

can you imagine the first person who pitched that idea how far how hard that was at the meeting as i'm butchering it but basically like what if we race them yeah and it's just like the turn of that is logical within the construct of what yes what is real and so to me it's like that's edgy and i'm sure some people said don't even talk about it but it's logically it makes it it's like that's edgy and i'm sure some people said don't even talk about it but it's logically it makes it it's like it makes sense the framing of it could sound so amusing yeah well the other thing too is that and then with this age group of people a lot of times they'll always bring up um uh blazing saddles you could never could never, you could never, you could never, you could never, never, never, never make that movie now.

And I'm like, what? Genuinely? Genuinely? What the fuck are you talking about? Is it just that you can't say the N-word? Is that all in that movie that they're talking about? Do you know what I mean? Yes. Is that it?

That's the one thing. It feels like it's the one thing that they want to be able to decide. Definitely. But I also think that's attached to it. Here's what I think. Because people got all upset about Tim Waltz. I mean, it's fake upset. But Tim Waltz made the joke to Kamala of, oh, I like white guy tacos.

Yeah. And everyone said, like, white people like spicy foods. And there's a degree where you want to grab all the white people and say, hey, you have no idea

the kind of constant harassment, just casually, socially, let alone systematically with the police that other groups

have suffered, especially in America, deal with the spicy joke that's part of it and then there i think the the part is like i think we've grown up in in a world where we had so much to correct for here's the thing that i think is like the the when the white guys like whine about it i go like i go like you have no idea white women too white women too you have no idea or you you don't seem to want to accept how much of a correction needs to be made exactly and i and but i think what they they would go is they go like i think it's like when you went on Twitter for a long time and there'd be like, men are trash, men are trash. And some guys would be like, hey, that feels like a broad thing.

That's annoying. We can't say. And it's like, sure, sure. You're right. In an ideal world, saying this big, broad statement would be kind of like, okay. But men were doing it for thousands of years. So you got to deal with for a little and we can recalibrate. But also I think when,

when someone's like a blazing saddles or, or, or Don Rickles, like, you know, you can never do that now. Blah, blah,

blah. I want to be like, I could guarantee you, I could find 10 women comedians saying something that you would deem as that. That's, that's crossing a line. Only because it's like you have rules about who can say the things and who can't. And I know that that certain age group would be offended by certain things that I could find funny now

just because they don't like the messenger or who's saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I do think that there's a thing of like, no, we, I, it's just one of those things where I think there's tons of edgy, funny things that are like,

whoa, that have, I can think of in my lifetime that are past blazing saddles. And, and, and, and, and I, you know,

and by the way, not to take it away from, I don't, I've only seen blazing saddles once. I'm not a huge Mel Brooks guy. No, not a huge Mel Brooks. brooks um but i just it's just like this thing of like first of all i promise you and if you look at it in the evolution of comedy first of all saying white guys like like joking about white people don't like any spice in their food it has it has diminished in terms of its comedic heft this is what happens with with comedy tropes like in terms of its comedic heft. This is what happens with comedy tropes.

Like in terms of there was a time where comedians, so many comedians would talk about like, you know, about spice and white people, their food is bland. There will come a day, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, where it'll be like, okay. It won't even be that funny or original. It'll be kind of hacky. It is kind of hacky. Yeah.

When the presidential running person makes the joke, usually that means it's kind of on the way out. It's now in the general thing. Yeah. And there's just this thing where you just have to accept it. The other thing, there's a comedian who I'm not a big fan of who, he's short. He's short. And listen, I understand when a short guy being upset

that some women will go on Twitter and go like, oh, if you're below this, I never want to touch your dick. Fuck you. Kill yourself. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Even as a tall guy, I can put myself in your little itty bitty shoes. never want to touch your dick fuck you kill yourself yeah yeah i get it i get it yeah as even as a tall guy i can put myself in those in your little itty bitty shoes

but this guy like all his jokes are about like you know i think there was like originally and again this is the twist it's like you're gonna make fun of someone's hype you can't ask them about their weight on dating apps you can ask about the height you can't ask about the weight you say no short guys i can't say no big women. And it's like, okay, point observed. Point observed. But then like this guy, not the guy who made that joke, but this other guy, this little guy. He goes, like every joke is like, she's fat, she's fat.

Lizzo this, Lizzo that. And I go like, you're not pulling in the ladies? Do you know what I mean? You can tell when someone's so angry about something. Yeah, man, that's the issue. You're so angry about this. First of all, I saw a thing of like, first of all, yes, you can.

Yes, you can find partners in this world. You're mad because the women you want don't want you, but you chose. People are out there. And second of all, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. You think women don't get insulted about their weight anymore? Yeah. It's fucking constant.

Yeah. The whole world is constructed around women being judged for their bodies. And you had to deal with a fraction of that about your height and you're so mad about it instead of banding together and going hey we should be nicer about people's bodies in general you decided to make it all about your struggle because a couple women didn't want to fuck you on a dating app try to sit in a room with a family member uh extended family member over the age of 50 male yeah and having to see a fat woman appear in a commercial it's insane how they react how they've been trained to be like oh why are we putting that like like it's fucking crazy and you're looking at them

being like what the fuck are you talking about like what are you talking about what do you like it's it's insane and it just it comes from i feel like with guys and this is the same thing with like incels where it's like there's so much rage of like the person that you wanted to fuck didn't want to fuck you and like listen putty welcome to the universe what do you want me to tell you that's the story of the world yeah not everyone wants to fuck you yeah that's that's we all have dealt with this we've all dealt with this yeah i was hoping russell in my conversation earlier would lead to him fucking me right now it didn't happen that doesn't mean i can lash out about it ai will fix that in the future is gonna fix all of it switch

that listen zendaya's with a shorter guy. If he could do it, Tom Holland. He's shorter than her. Yeah, yeah. And listen, after seeing Challenger, as I said, I'd like to be a short guy now. Why? So I can fuck Zendaya. So...

Should be Tom Holland for your 24 hours. Yeah, yeah. Tom Holland sitting there spread eagle just fingering my asshole. So we're going to switch to the Patreon now. Oh my God.

So I know, but this is, listen, this is a big episode. We don't have to do this. We'll do the, this got to stop and all things on the Patreon.

So again, if you want the rest of this episode, join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. If you remember the Patreon, this episode is going to keep going. And it's just a weird thing in the middle

for you to contend with. But again, we're doing that highlights of the tour. There's so much fun stuff there. And that's what we're going to do with these live tours because I was going to like, do I release them all individually? And then I said, no, we'll make this highlights because there's a lot of good stuff.

But, you know, and we got more tours. It's a lot of good stuff. But, you know, and we got more tours. It's a lot of cool stuff. This podcast is fantastic. So join the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. I'll just do my little plugs real quick. I'm going to be in Toronto. Everything sold out except for September 8th. That's a Sunday.

Where are you going? I'm just getting up. I'm still here. You're holding the mic as if you're about to bring it into the bathroom with you. I'm making a little drink. Is it okay? That's fantastic. Appleton, Wisconsin.

I'll be there September 12th through the 14th. And then Burlington, Vermont. If you're a Phish fan, come on out to Burlington, Vermont. Phish, baby. And that's going to be September 19th through the 21st. Oh, charcoal. Vancouver after that. What's wrong?

You don't have ice. Still make a drink. I know I'm going to, but it's just like there's no ice. Okay. Oh, my God. You put the wire in the freezer. God damn it. Okay.

Make me a drink, too. Okay. Okay. So we're going to switch to the Patreon. Russell, anything you want to plug? No. Okay. And we'll be back next week

i believe with taylor ortega this is the downside one two three you're listening to the downside the downside with john marcos