The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #228 I’m Not Gay, You’re Gay with Taylor Ortega

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Taylor Ortega joins to share the downsides of screen testing for SNL three times, regrettable haircuts, your mom trying to get you to come out, and getting fired from Elite Daily.  Note: we ended up releasing this episode a little later than planned at the time of recording in case some dates mentioned have passed! You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Taylor on Instagram Watch Taylor in Jackpot on Amazon Prime Video Watch Taylor's original series, Long Lost Check out Tovah Silbermann's IMDb Pro page Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. And you have that, that, uh, the Jesus clip? That was from last time? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, uh, the Jesus clip that was from last time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.

Oh. Hello. Hi. I'm in such a bad mood. Oh, hi. What's happening? Good, good. Are we...

Save it. You're in, you're in a bad mood. Yeah. What's going on? Um, uh, I had... I don't think the haircut's that bad. No. It's pretty bad.

Um. No, it's a cute haircut no it'll be fine it'll be fine I'm gonna figure it out the you know going on vacation tomorrow so I'm a little sick

which is a little annoying but this I had to take my dogs to the kennel today and checked the zip car

in the morning make sure they move location so it's further away to go get the car. Fine. I woke up early. I get there and suddenly

zip car, it doesn't exist anymore. We have this. We actually had this. We ruined an entire vacation. We ruined an entire upstate vacation emailing Avis. They were just like, well, we're closed. Well, there's no

cars. And we were like, well, you did take our money and make an appointment. So that was weird to do. You could have saved yourself time on that. Well, they had all the cars. They called you. The app went away because there's no physical keys anymore. All the reservations disappeared. And they're like, sorry, our app's not working

and you're like, but we see all the cars here and so then it's like, I can't do it tomorrow because the place is closed tomorrow, the animal place. So it's like,

I have to get rid of these dogs somehow. You think you're going to put them down? Put them down. I mean, so. And I'm in a bad mood

about it. So I killed my dogs. My bare hands. No, but so I walk home and I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Then the app is working. And it's like, your reservation started.

And I was like, so I just got back home. Walk a mile back to the place and extend the trip to make it have time. And then I was like, okay, sir, that works there. It's here, but it's saying I'm not in range. And he goes, oh, is it out there? Like, just on the street. I was like, but we, they can do that? And he goes, yeah, yeah, just hit the honk button

until you find it. No. So walking blocks to hitting a honk button, and I can hear it in the distance. No. In the distance, I get to it. It's double parked. It's double parked with random

cars it's just trapped inside a thing and and okay but there was like a little room where i was like maybe if i go up and back and up and back and up and like slowly get it out i can get it out so i tried doing that and i couldn't and then i was stuck. And then, so I left it. I just left it. I just left it. And I went to the guy again. And I was like, that's double parked, sir. Listen, I see that there are cars in this lot. Like, I need, like, he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's one right there. It's the, and he said a car name. And I was like, and there's hundreds of cars. And I go, you have to take me to it. I don't know what cars are. You have to take me to it? I don't know what cars are. You have to take me to it and make sure it's there. Anyways, it was a three

extra three hours of thing and then I meet one and it just was a fucking horrible day. Anyways, I got rid of the dogs though. Good. Good. Sorry. Welcome to the downside. My name is DeMarcus Reyes. I'm here with my co-host, Tova Silberman. Special guest, Russell Daniels, here today, too.

And our special, special guest from Party Down and Flatch. That's the credit you're leading with. Flatch? I didn't pick it. Party Down? No, no, I know. Party Down is the randomest credit to lead with. You're like helpsters on Apple.

Well, this is what happens when you have two clients of a manager all on the same podcast. You get the press release in advance. What credit do you leave with? I don't remember any of them. I would say Flatch or Kim Possible. No. That's so long ago. Well, I don't mind it.

It's not the biggest. Right. I liked Party Down. I had a lot of fun. Yeah. I had a line on Succession. UCB is maud. You did have a line on Succession. UCB is maud for of fun yeah i had a line on succession ucb is mod you did have a line for four months what was your line on succession oh sir i'm sorry your brother he really needs oh wow and it was the first season and it's what i other than being on improv teams

in new york it's like what i get recognized for is because people like that show must have like crazy rewatch potential because sure it's one oh my god if there's a rewatch pod and they it's like the office pod they get down to nick cafero they finally get to you they've been through like jerry they've been through everyone they're let's get gym girl one i'll be i'll be there um nick cafero friend of chris cafero friend of the pod i'll be the uh the narrator um i i didn't even say her name. Taylor Ortega. Welcome to the show.

I saw your sister last night. No way. I haven't seen my sister. And I've been here for days. Yeah. I was with Chris. Sure. So here's what happens as the director of a podcast.

What happens when you have too many people who know each other intimately is that things are set outside. So here's how I've instructed people. Chris is the listener. Our producer Chris is the listener. So anything you say that he would have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, that's when you need to elaborate. Okay. That's a little trick that I've learned. Well, this is really, there's so many overlaps.

Yeah. I'll just go really quickly. Okay. Taylor was on a mod team with Chris. Chris is an uncle function Why would you start with me and Chris? Why would you start with me and Chris? But pause right here

No one knows what a mod team is I know, but I think what's funny is that there's so many overlaps You think that the core relationship to start the web is me and Chris Cafaro? Yeah, start there And I was friends with Chris before I knew you, but you're in a sketch with Chris. Chris is my friend who recently did the podcast.

Yes. Yes. Tova, we've all been in the comedy scene for some capacity. Tova and Taylor were in the comedy scene before Russell and I were in the comedy scene. Right. And we're friends when Tova transitioned from being a Chabad to comedy.

Well, I think I was there after you were Chabad. You were there after. But it was sort of, well, it was very freshly after. But you performed together. No. Ever? No, what would happen was Tova would be running this show in the basement of the pit. And then another friend and I would be hosting like a web show or like shooting a web show in a back room.

In the green room. So we would have to kind of. They would be bleeding into each other. The sounds would be bleeding. So if you watch the web series, you can hear like laughter and applause from the comedy. And if you're on stage, you just hear Taylor being, this week on the internet,

the hot dog went missing. Yeah. And so it was really obnoxious. It was a million years ago. Yeah. So I was like producing. Did you know Tova when she was doing standup? Like,

did you ever see her do a set? No, it was, yeah, I've seen her do a set as a joke, but this was like right after, like she had started producing shows. This was like your Empire Biscuit comedy era. Yeah. Like you were, you were kind of on the producing side. Were you in that festival? No.

So this was around this time when she, she was producing stuff. Uh, we had a mutual friend who was trying to get us to be friends and we thought it was a thing where he was like, these us to be friends and we thought it was a thing where he was like these are just two women i know sure you know and it's like relax like let it happen if it's gonna happen like stop just making like the only two women you're friends with be friends um and that might have been like really toxic of us yeah i think if we were at an age where like no i'm a guy's girl oh see, see, I was like desperate to not. I was actually desperate for a female friend. I don't know

how I found myself there. I just get along with guys better. So I don't know this pretty lady. I don't know. Oh, see, I always had women friends and it was like a weird time in my life where all my friends were guys and I was sort of like. Now I've heard Tova describe you two. I'm glad we cleared up how we all knew each other.

That's what I want to do quick, and then we can expound. Because we could spend the whole podcast talking about the layers of Uncle Function and Ortega's. I don't think our listeners want the levels of Uncle Function. I don't know. Taylor's sister, who's in Wicked, is dating Chris Caffaro, who's in a sketch group with Russell and John Marco. But was in a sketch group with me. But was in a sketch group with me. But was in a sketch group with Taylor. And I knew Chris through that.

And before I knew Jamarco. And Chris knew Taylor before he knew his girlfriend, Natalie, who is Taylor's sister. Yes. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. Welcome to what now feels like a Chekhov play. Also, didn't Douglas go to college? Joanne went to college with you? Joanne went to college. Okay. No one cares.

No one cares. Joanne went to college with my best friend. No, no. And I saw her in many plays. What a talent. Wow. Yes. Well, we've had quite a run of people on SNL.

We had Chloe Trost, we had Casey Shornima, and we had Brightanic. So we wanted to mix it up. So thank you for being here. Thank you. Taylor, you flew in for the pod. To surprise Tova

for the birthday. I think the surprise went well. It was very stressful. I wasn't stressed at all. You thought you fucked it up the morning of though. Yeah, I thought I texted too early in the morning cause I'm in LA yeah but sometimes I am up actually mostly everyday I get up off the couch at 4am where I fell asleep

and I like wash my face brush my teeth go to bed for 4 more hours so it's really bad I really have to work on it you're a couch sleeper so yeah but it's because i live alone now i like to co-regulate with a person that i'm living with you know where i don't it's hard for me to like end the day close down shop like i feel like i shouldn't be in charge of the

apartment sort of but i live there alone so i do fall asleep on the couch and then i would kind of wake up and there's like candles burning and the windows are open i'm like oh you know you're a couch sleeper i am yeah it's horrible yeah i are open. I'm like, you're a couch sleeper. I am. Yeah. It's horrible. Yeah. I, cause I love,

I have, I struggle if you're just like no TV, no, no like sound. I love a TV on. Yeah. I love it. Yeah.

Yeah. But I will, I'll fall asleep. I'll doze off. I usually won't be the whole night. It'll like, I'll doze off and then find my way around one or two. One or two is I'm working on being more like that.

Yeah. Four is hard. That's long. That's working on being more like that. Four is hard. That's too long. That's too long on the couch. Well, with all these SNL people, we got to the SNL. We got it out of the way. What does that stand for? Saturday Night Live. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you were in contention. Yeah, a couple times. A couple times. So for those who don't know, when you get the audition slot for the SNL showcase, there's two of them every year. And then you can get the screen test. And this is the big deal.

You'll hear every performer talk about it. It's notoriously, there's not a lot of people watching. Usually the big dogs. You're told you might not get any laughter. But then you always hear from the people who get it. They're like, they were laughing. So that's just what they tell people. How many screen tests did you have?

I did three. And this is not usual. Within a year. Within a year. So normally it's once a year. But they did a mid-season screen test really randomly one year. And so it was like a smaller group of us did that middle one. So I did three in a year, but they did a mid-season screen test really randomly one year. And so it was like a smaller group of us did that middle one. So I did three in a year. Middle, they just, they said they needed somebody?

They normally do them in like September or something. And they did one in like March. So yeah, I guess so. Maybe like someone didn't make it through the season. I don't remember. But they, yeah, they did two that year. And if you watch them, you can watch a bunch online. You can see the one where they said no to Jim Car online. You can see the one where, uh, uh,

they said no to Jim Carrey. You can see the one where they said no to Steve Carell. Yeah. Uh, uh, they're not easy to put a little theater piece. It's, it's strange.

Like you do something totally new every single time. Like you can't come back with the same set. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like every six months you have a whole new, you know, character set or, or standup set.

Um, and it was like the first thing I'd ever whole new character set or stand-up set. And it was like the first thing I'd ever done. I hadn't had auditions for things. Yeah, I got signed and then that was the first thing I did that summer. So you did two. When you didn't get it, were you hurt or did you go, that was crazy? I think it was. No, I said, sure.

Did you feel good about when you did the screen test? Yeah. The first one I did, I just thought it was so cool. Like, I obviously love SNL. You do it on the stage. You do it on the stage. So I thought it was really cool. Like, you're in the dressing room all day. You literally, it's really, really stressful.

You're, like, scared. Everyone's kind of stressed out. You're also, like, separated from everyone, sort of. So you're just in the chamber of your own mind yeah and then you go out and that it is really intimidating but like the director and the stage manager like they're so nice to you and they're like being really supportive so I went thinking like I did the you do the showcase the live show I did the showcase I said that what an amazing opportunity it's over yeah but then they called me like two days later and they're like no you're gonna do the screen test and I was the showcase. I said, that was an amazing opportunity. It's over. But then they called me like two days later and they're like, no, you're going to do the screen test.

And I was like, that's even crazier. So then I went back to the screen test. And once again, it was just like, oh, happy to be here. Did you get any laughs? The first time? No, it's like pretty quiet. Like they actually, I think, want it to be because you are being filmed. Sure.

Right. So like they I think they also just want a clean like audition on camera um the second the mid-season one i think it was like a little looser because it was like a smaller group of people it was people we'd you know a group of people that had been there already and the rumor at the time was that bill hater was there laughing it up so there was that's the rumor i don't here's the thing. I can't confirm because I didn't ever look at the table.

Yeah. Okay. The camera's right in front of you, like swooping down in front of you. You're on the stage and the table's like

off to the left where they all are and like, I'm like, I can't, I'm very sensitive. I can't see, if I see anyone

making any face, I'm going to be like, hates me. Yeah. Isn't the one who rooted for me to be here. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Can we see this one, hates me. Yeah. Isn't the one who rooted for me to be here. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Can we see this one already? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then. Too hot. All of the. Too hot.

Too hot. All the things people are always saying. So. So then the third one. Third one rolls around. You go, man, I just got to. Man, they. They like me.

Clearly. Yeah. Clearly they like you. Sure. Something. Well. Is that like next. They don't Something. Well. Is that next summer? You do summer, March.

It was fall, spring, fall. Fall, spring, fall. And I was doing other jobs. And I also will say, I know where we're going with this. And what I will say is, what we're about to endeavor, it's going to make me seem really entitled. But what I will say is. I don't think so, by the way. I think that's in

your head that's how i felt with the reaction to it but the process in my head was like and i okay the process in my head was like i went from not doing characters that's not doing anything to kind of cobbling together a character an impression set for my first time around that boom i automatically went screen tested so the next time i went i wanted to do different characters and stuff but i also wanted to be like do i have any other went i wanted to do different characters and stuff but i also wanted to be like do i have any other talents i want to show so i did some like musical impressions of like pop stars and stuff yeah and then i have been writing comedy songs and performing them with a friend so when i came back the third time i didn't want to just do new sets

every time i wanted every set to like up the other set of course so i wanted to write something like like an original piece of music you know for the third time let's play it in its entirety a rehearsal What more do you need to see from me? I've shown you almost every skill I have Impressions of famous women and young boys Regional accents, physical guides, and a perfect singing voice What more do you need to see from me? Just give me the job, I'll do anything Through the past year you've strong me along All I could think to do was write this song

I don't know what you think you'll see this time you didn't see before. But I'm still trying to prove myself. So I guess I'll show you more. And then she did a character piece. Did a full set. In between. So this started the set? And then she did characters that came to this birth.

That's probably not true. But not too high for sketch comedy Everyone keeps asking me For advice on their audition reels I'm not sure what they think I know Cause I'm still trying to close this deal Character set? Or Early off-ceiling I'll learn to make more It's goddamn popcorn Don't blow Keaton's horns Or...

Another one. I do something wrong I shadow all movies since the last time you saw me I've been thinking a lot about you from start to end Please don't make me screen test again What more do you need to see from me? Wow. Okay, so as you were finishing it, in your mind, did you go, oops? Or like, what did you feel right in the moment? Did you go, because you didn't even look at them.

So I'll be honest. I thought I nailed it. Sure. Sure. Like, did you, were you here? Were they laughing at that? Like, um, no, but I, I didn't think they were angry. No.

Okay. I, I, um, I thought that it was for me, I, uh, like, I guess I didn't perceive myself as being in a position of power at all. So I thought, obviously, it's a joke. And I was so focused on, let's sing it right. Let's not go flat. And this was when SNL was still a comedy show. Yeah. It's important to remember.

This was four plus years ago. remember this was four plus years ago you know and i so i was like i was just focused on like singing the song properly and like uh remembering what the characters were like character comedy is so stressful like when you're doing a character set i've never done a gymnastics routine but it's just like if you miss one thing the whole fucking thing is fucked up you know and so it's so so stressful that i was so focused on like wouldn't it be cool if I did this? Yeah. I wasn't at all thinking that they were like, what a little bitch. Yeah.

What a stinky little bitch. You know, it didn't even cross my mind. And that's, you know. I get it, though. I could see it going both either way. Like I could see people then being very charmed by that. You know, I get why. Russell's like crossing out a character set.

He's like, I need to change my reel. I learned nothing. Russell's like crossing out a character set. He's like, Tov, I need to change my reel. I learned nothing. I'm like, Russell, why don't you write a song? Russell's like, it's my first and last screen test. But I think it's like one of those jobs

where it's like, well, they don't want a super, it's a very like independent spirited thing and you're auditioning to be like in the ensemble to begin with totally especially back then i feel like there's been more like featured like big swings that they take but i i can see i thought it was cool i think it's cool obviously because you're giving voice to what everyone's felt who not just as an l the world of auditions right yeah also i. Also, like, it's so crazy

because I do think that that spirit definitely, like, there are definitely comedians who are like that, right? Who, like,

literally feel that way where they're like, where's my show? Like, where's my whatever? Like, there is obviously entitlement that exists,

but I would have literally taken anything. It's a really catchy song, too. It is. Like, it's a very good song. I wrote it with Max Ash.

You can hear Max Ash on the tape a little bit. You said day of. Ultimately never gotten a rejection quicker from that. Yeah, they were like. Oh, really? Usually they're like, we'll keep you posted. Or you just kind of hear that people are meeting Lorne.

And then they don't tell you anything until it's done. It's an S. That night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That night they're like, no. You know what the bottom line is? If you were going to get it that year, I think they would have been fine with it.

They would have. Also, I'm like such a, this is like my whole life. I'm a very people-pleasing person, okay? I don't think this is the worst mistake I've ever made. No. You know what I mean? I think coming off like a big entitled bitch is like, it's not usually one of my problems.

So I think this was a scenario where I do think I was misread or maybe I took a risk I shouldn't have taken, or maybe I thought that they were perceiving me the same way I was perceiving myself sort of. And that's not, and that happens a lot to me. It really does. I think that like sometimes I'm not seeing the picture other people are

seeing and that's okay. Um, it really worked out. I can understand going like, eh, I don't like a meta thing. That's the most I could see someone responding. You did not come off like an entitled bitch.

No. Thank you. You didn't start the audition going like, guys, what do you want from me? You made a song. I worked really hard on it. Yeah,

you worked hard on a song. I defended 100%. I think it was a great choice. I also was gone all summer shooting a Disney Channel movie, so then I came back, had to run stuff on all these shows. Like I really worked really hard.

It was like, if anything, I thought the effort I put in was out of great respect for the process. Sure. Yeah. Which obviously I did have. Also, if I was a comedian who I think was like blowing up at the time and like had a bunch of stuff going for me, like I thought I thought it was pretty obvious that it's like this is my only thing. Sure. Sure. This is all I got.

But that's not what that institution is and I learned that lesson. Who did they hire that year? Chloe. And honestly, that was the right choice. That was the right choice. They probably were going to do that anyway. And at the end of the day, you both got to do the pod. Yeah.

Different Chloe. Oh, never mind. It was a while back. Yeah, sorry, no. I was like, yeah, that's pretty recent. No, it was a while back, but no.

You did, it was Kim Possible. It's a movie. It's a Disney Channel original movie. A DCOM. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm going to get to it.

Oh, okay. No, I want to see it. I want to see it. It's really... Because you went from... You were doing UCB. You were on Mod Night, which is a UCB sketch show that used to mean something. I was like an improv person, really.

And then I started doing these characters for SNL. Like, I created a set for an SNL audition. And that's when I started doing, like, sketch and stuff. Yeah. And then I only did Mod Night for four months. And then I got Kim Possible. I remember. So it appears I'm never coming back.

I saw one of, I think I saw your, maybe your first show. First one, we were both there. Yeah. And Tove was there too. I didn't even know Tove.

See, that's like the invisible thread of these groups that I was trying to explain earlier. Yeah. Is that we were all there. There was a sketch where you couldn't say the word cucumber, I remember. Oh,

that actually wasn't our first show. That was maybe like our fourth. That was my favorite one. Wow. It was, it's only the one I remember of that time. Yes our first show that was maybe like our fourth that was my favorite one wow it was it's only they want to remember of that time yes yeah that was my favorite one that really was the one that would have gotten us and l for sure well and actually that's the one where i said i think i'm gonna quit the team because i had fun doing it but i was like the only sketch where there was wiggle room for me to improvise and i said i don't think i like

doing sketch i think i want to be an improvis improviser. I think I want to either go back to doing that or do stand-up or something else. I want you to do, I want Tova to do improv. I want some world where she's allowed to do improv in a way where no one knows about it. Because I understand people, no one wants to go

to see improv shows. No one wants their manager to do improv. If my manager called and said, hey, what are you doing this Friday? I'm like, I'm free. What's the gig? Well, actually, you just sit back and enjoy this one. Would you want to do...

There's no improv bringer shows. Do you... Would you... There could be, by the way. Improv was the thing I was still doing when I became an agent, where I went to my indie team. Actually, Dash Turner, who's also a client client was in my indie group no way yeah I did improv with Dash

at UCB and I was like one day came up to like practice and I was like I think I have to quit I'm gonna be an agent on Monday yeah they were like what and I'll never forget this um because then I was like oh I'm an agent isn't that? And one of my other improv people was now in the next level graduation class. And I was like, an agent will be at the show. And then she goes, do you think Shannon O'Neill will be there? And I was like, no, just like ignoring the fact that an agent's going to be there. It's like, do you think Shannon O'Neill will be at the 401 graduation? I need to get on the house team tonight. Shannon O'Neill will be at the 401 graduation. I need to get on a house team tonight. The idea of someone

being an agent while actively taking improv classes would be a nightmare. Every person would be like, I quit the day. To be fair, like a 24-year-old agent.

That doesn't happen a lot. Was it hard when you quit? It wasn't hard. I think improv is a thing I like, it was so silly fun and it wasn't for any career gain or any like,

we're doing, like it was fun and I think it's like an express the way you would be better at improv and I can say this confidently than both me or Russell yeah I know that for a fact yeah you you move quicker you're you're sillier you'll go to a character faster you'll do anything I'll do anything you'll do anything how would you like I get two in my head me too is that how you describe same thing yeah Russell we tried an improv once

for an uncle function thing remember that video no with that she was doing like a red carpet thing and she was like what are you wearing

and you're like and we were like Russell please say something please dear god it was shocking I had food poisoning that morning, by the way. And I was like, I was so, it was one of those things where you get to somewhere and you're

like, what the fuck am I here? Like, and it's like, and it's like, I was just throwing up. It was Anna Fabrega. Anna Fabrega. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think part of the reason I didn't want to do improv was also coming out of the Orthodox world. I didn't know any references.

And I'm like, I'm too stupid to do improv. I'm not cultured enough to do improv. Because Taylor would like, people pull shit out that I'm like, oh, you're going to do improv and it's a Jurassic Park segment? I don't know. And so I just felt so out of the loop culturally.

There was a story of someone where all her improvs, and she was an immigrant from somewhere and all her improvs started with, my husband said, we can go to the park today. And every setup involved my husband gave me permission to do this. My husband gave me permission to do something today.

Improv, what's incredible about improv, it really reveals, like they had to tell our class at one point, they said, guys, this woman in class said, I'm tired of being everyone's mom in scenes and it's because

every guy in every scene would turn to her and make her the mom and yeah it happens with improv people you don't have time it can be very nerve wracking you don't have time

if you're going to be a funny improviser and you want to be like self-conscious it just doesn't fit sometimes and it's also good to be a funny improviser and you want to be like self-conscious, it just doesn't fit sometimes. And it's also good to ask for that if you don't want

to be the mom. But it's also like, get over it. Be the mom. You know what I mean? That's what I said. Yeah, I've been on teams where one person

has to be the logical person in every single show. You think he wants to be? No. But we're not, we're trying to think of a whole thing. We don't have time

to be like, let her do something different this time. Well, I think that's why good improv teams like Hot Sauce, like adam paul and ben schwartz and joe mandy i think they've been together for so long you can just see the ease so as an audience member you're like okay it's like they're so comfortable with each other that it makes the improv so good not just because they know the rules and they're funny but because they are so

trusting of each other that's actually a part of why i like also had to like stop doing character sets was like other than having to like drag a bag around um it was yeah so many bags the bags are crazy oh my god and it's so limiting about the arm and i will talk about the arm and i'm actually not going to talk about the arm i would like you well i will but uh it was like it when you would get up to do a character set on a show and you just have to run it on a show and maybe you're on a stand up show where they think everyone's just talking out their ass and just like absolutely rolling off the cuff. And then you get up there with a wig on there like she prepared. I hope it goes well. I know.

People are like, you know. The short version is. The short version is I was doing a JFL callback and I had a suitcase of props and one of them was a mannequin arm. OK. And a mannequin arm okay and a mannequin arm with bracelets on it kind of didn't fit all the way in the suitcase so the mannequin arm is sticking up out of the suitcase this is years ago okay I have my callback I go on a date with my boyfriend he breaks up with me and she has to roll the suitcase and I'm like well and I'm also it's

the middle of winter so I'm in a one of those puffy, I lived in New York, so I was in one of those puffy sleeping bag looking coats. Not a great silhouette to walk away in. And I'm wheeling the suitcase and the hand is sort of waving goodbye. It's so funny. That's what he's remembering as I'm walking away. I'm like, I regret this. It's just so humiliating to have to wheel that bag home. And I've just done a character set in a showcase audition,

which is like not as fun as a regular show. Oh, no. Just the sweaty desperation. I hope improv, I feel like we, pre-COVID, we lived through improv becoming too many classes, too many shows. Everyone, improv became the punchline

as the shitty thing. Oh, you had to go to your, your friend's improv show. And I, I, I feel like a lot of those schools broke down, shattered. Yeah. And I'm hoping I want a space for improv to be good.

Cause when you see good improv, you go, Oh, no one wouldn't not enjoy this. It's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I agree,

but I also don't, I won't go. Cause it's so stressful to me that even I'm not worth, it doesn't, it's not yeah yeah i agree but i also don't i won't go because it's so stressful to me that even i'm not worth it doesn't it's not worth taking the risk well it doesn't really make money so it's hard unless it's a big because like when we moved here was like the improv boom and so it was so huge at the time that like there were just a lot of spaces for it and people did want to go see it now it's like it's really hard to get it going you did like the real del close marathons right i don't think well i wasn't like a big ucb i was eventually like

kind of snuck onto a ucb team eventually but it was kind of after i took a big break from improv when i started doing like showcases and stuff because i just didn't have the time and i wasn't writing stuff down which was a bad habit. And, um, and so I kind of came back to it afterward and that's when I ended up on a UCB team. And it was just sort of, cause I got really got along with the group of people and we liked hanging

out every Saturday. You did. You introduced me to Michael. Go on a date. And I said, you guys are going to be friends. Yeah. What are,

and then they had run an improv team together. What are your strengths as, cause I, I just, what are your strengths as an improviser? What are your weaknesses then they were on an improv team together. Yeah. What are your strengths as. Because I just. What are your strengths as an improviser? What are your weaknesses? Hot. Hot girl.

Actually, when I was big in improv, and you've said this before, I was ugly. Yeah. I say that a lot. Yeah. I was really ugly in my biggest improv days. Oh, yeah? Yeah. In what way?

Bad haircut. Bad. Didn't know how to dress myself. What haircut? What are we talking here? Big glasses. You saw it the other day. I did see it the other day. You saw it the other day. But describe it to those who didn't know how to dress myself what haircut were we talking big glasses uh you saw it the other day i did see it but describe it to those who didn't it was supposed to be a pixie

cut uh it wasn't for me i'm also six feet tall more or less i'm 5 11 and my face is for long hair okay and you have to learn that by cutting your i was watching america's x-hop model where they do the makeovers and i said why why are these girls crying? I would look beautiful with that haircut. And I didn't. I have very thick hair. It was just like, I looked like a mom at the supermarket. It was bad. When you first saw it, did you go, oh, this is badass? No.

You know what happened is when I first saw it, I think my body went into shock and I said, kind of, what have I done? But normally where I would have like a big meltdown panic attack over like some bad bangs. Yeah. It was almost like,

so I realized I had made such a mistake that I had to, I had to double down on it. I had to take pics and be like, I love what I did. And I'm not a lesbian. And I'm not a lesbian. She and my boyfriend have the same haircut and I'm not a lesbian. And I'm not a lesbian. She and my boyfriend have the same haircut, and I'm not a lesbian, first of all. It really was the gayest haircut for the straightest period of your life.

Of my life, yeah. Do you think the desire to get that haircut for you could have been an early clue of, oh, maybe I'm a lesbian? What's weird is now that I'm a lesbian, I have the longest hair I've ever had. I think, who knows i you don't have the longest hair i've ever had i think who knows i think yeah yeah i don't know i had i will say i had a boyfriend at the time where people would always tell us we looked like two beautiful lesbians so who knows who knows and then a friend did tell me recently literally this weekend we were talking about the haircut and a friend told me that um they were in the theater because uh he was an improviser my boyfriend at the time and that they were in the theater and i did say my boyfriend i was i was scared to cut my hair off because i was like he's not gonna want to

be with me whatever like all that toxic stuff and he was so nice about it he was so supportive and then a friend just told me that when i did it that boyfriend was like drunk at the theater like talking to my friend going, well, my girlfriend got the same haircut as me. But he kept that to himself because he knew that that was not to put on me. And I still appreciate that, you know.

And I ultimately dumped him with my ugliest haircut of my life. I go, you're not good enough for me. Wait, wasn't the same boyfriend as the hand? No, different. I've had a lot of boyfriends. A lot of boyfriends. I've had a lot of boyfriends, yeah.

What took so long? That is such a good question. I was having a really long conversation with the same friend yesterday about it. Because people are always like, oh my God, did you always know? Because I came out when I was 28. 28, wow. 28, which to me feels really old. And now I'm like, it's nothing, you know?

But yeah, people are like, did you kind of know whatever? And I'm like, I had no idea at all. I was so shocked. I thought I was straight. I thought any gay stuff that I did was like, everybody does that, you know? Which isn't my fault. You're a lolly pussy, right?

I think it's not my fault at all. The pot calling the kettle. That's the thing. What do you mean? What do you mean the pot calling the kettle? You, I'm saying. Joe Murko just went, oh, you know how we all do gay stuff.

Your first blowjob was from a man. So? Sure. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't a full blow. Exactly, but it's kind of what she said. How do I know? Maybe the other girl is gay. No, but in my example, I wasn't gay,, it wasn't a full blow. It was. Exactly. But it's kind of what she said. How do I know? Maybe the other girl is gay.

No, but in my example, I wasn't gay. So it wasn't a rich. But neither was I, buddy. I wasn't gay. Okay.

And then I don't remember this, but my friend told me this story after I came out. And this is like my friend from like growing up. Like we've been best friends since middle school. And, um, she told me that probably a year or two years two years maybe before i came out that she we were out i remember the time we

hung out i don't just don't remember this happening that we sat down and we were like having like a meal and and she brought up like hey do you think that like you might be gay and i don't remember this at all i've been like ally like my whole life apparently who knows if this is what i said but i was like i'm not gay you're gay everyone thinks you're gay um and and then she the way she says it is that i showed up she says like a month later with the gayest boyfriend she's ever seen. And that I didn't say this, but that tonally I was very much like, who's gay now? You know, and my boyfriend's like, hey, you know. You dated John Marco.

Well, I think we all know it was pretty close. But you, how old were you when you two met? When we met, you were probably 25, 26. 24, 25. 24, 25. Because it was right around the time I became an agent. So 25. Were you surprised when Taylor came out?

Or were you like, oh, yeah. No. Really? I wasn't surprised. But I think on my separate journey, I was still coming out of orthodoxy. When Taylor was like going on a date with a girl, even that, I was like, what? Oh, that is. Oh, my God.

That is so true. Because that boyfriend so around the time my friend had this conversation with me I that that boyfriend was a friend that I had hooked up with for like a year before we dated because I wasn't in a rush to have a boyfriend for some separate reason yeah and I remember that everyone was hanging out at my apartment floor that's where we would hang out. We do floor hangs. And I wasn't there until later. And he was kind of like, where is she? And I was like, oh, she's on a date. And I was on a date with a girl that I had met online

because I was like, everybody puts their preference to both sometimes. This is before you're gay. Yeah, this was when I was straight. And then I had a whole other boyfriend after that. Like, I went on the date. I go, see, it's not for me. But I think in my, my perspective of it is like, I was so sheltered that I, I didn't

have any like lesbian friends. So I was like, whoa. Well, neither did I really. Or like that bisexual, it was kind of the time of your life where you're like, bisexual means straight. Like, I thought bisexual meant lesbian. It's like bisexual means straight. Yeah. I'm like, if you like men, then why would you lesbian, it's like bisexual means straight. Yeah.

I'm like, if you like men, then why would you like women? I just didn't know, like, I also didn't have, like,

we didn't have lesbians around. That's what I'm saying. I knew more gay men even in college. Like, the only out people at my Orthodox college

were gay men. No lesbians. Now there's a bunch where you're like, yeah, that tracks. Yeah. I'm just not,

I'm a very late bloomer. I'm not going to, like, pioneer anything. You know Yeah. I'm just not, I'm a very late bloomer. I'm not going to like pioneer anything, you know? That's just not my, I have a lot of enthusiasm once I'm there, but I'm not, I need to like, I move slow. But my mom used to like, when I was in high school, like multiple, multiple times, my mom would try to like have sit down conversations with me where I, to have help me come out. My mom did that. Really?

Yeah. What were these, What were these talks? Like, she would corner me like in the car in the shower somewhere where I couldn't get out and she would be like, in the shower?

Yeah, she would like come into the bathroom and she'd be like, well, if you know, if you ever wanted to be gay, that would be okay with us. That's so sweet.

Yeah. Yeah. My mom would say, you can tell me. Yeah, you can let me know. It's safe to come out, whatever. But she did it so many times that it was kind of like, let it go. Were your parents like, you better not be fucking gay?

They didn't talk about anything. You go back to football practice right now, Russell Davis. Don't you wear a blouse and do a gay parody of Titanic one day? Did they talk to your siblings that way ever? I think my siblings were, I think my little brother is like straight. Right.

He's a dude. Right. And then I have two sisters who I think are probably, whatever, they probably have a good time. Right. But do you think

your parents ever said, your parents said, that's the one I need to have the gay conversation with. That's the gay one. Yeah, I don't think my dad would like pay attention enough to really realize

he would need to have the conversation. But yeah, I think my mom just saw me and I was not popular at school. I didn't think My dad would like Pay attention enough To really realize He would need to have The conversation But yeah I think My mom just saw me And I was I was not popular At school

I didn't have A lot of friends And if only That had been Because I was gay Yeah And not my general Demeanor and personality

Say hey I feel you Yeah What did your mom Say to you It was a text Obviously A text But same

Same thing How old In college Because I was also Like ally You know It was also tough With Chabad obviously. A text? But same, same thing. How old? In college. Because I was also like, ally, you know? It was also tough with Chabad or Orthodox.

The outfits are so sexless to begin with. You couldn't be like, hey, this little, little gay, you're wearing your skirt all the way

below your feet. for girls. When I see a, like, when I see a girl in like an ugly skirt, I'm like, that's a lesbian. You know? She's signaling.

You know? Sure. Yeah, for sure. Someone in a weird little outfit. Girl in a bolo tie. Or like, what's the singer that everyone doesn't really like, but she's trying? No one likes her. Oh, JoJo Siwa?

JoJo Siwa. Oh, that's different that weirdly no well because jojo siwa dresses like a gay man ice skater yeah wait is jojo siwa a lesbian yeah yes have you not heard this is the whole brand very to me gay guy it's very like we ho gay guy you know it is very ice skating it's very like the dance costumes yeah i feel bad because jojo siwa gets a lot of hate yeah because she's she's a theater kid she's got just a real like i mean she's a she's trying full everyone's saying yes she goes rainbow here there's a rainbow there i know and it's it's but i think some of the artistic choices isolated are kind of cool i like she has has like a mic with like a stand on it.

I don't get that. I really don't. I think about that a lot. It's interesting, though. It's something. I would impale myself. JoJo. Yeah.

Titanic. Oh, my God. JoJo Siwa. Listen, I didn't know there was JoJo. No, it was JoJo. Oh, that's way better. But listen. But I kept looking around.

But I didn't know there was a difference. I didn't know that there's three different Jojos. There's Jojo, Jojo Siwa, and Casey and Jojo. Casey and Jojo, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, so my niece is a huge or was a huge Jojo Siwa fan. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, great. I'll get a picture with Jojo Siwa.

And then I was like, they're over there. Because I don't know who they are. I didn't know. I would know who Jojo Siwa was now. But at the time, it was a little before. You're like, who's this hot 30-year-old woman? It's really nice. Yeah, yeah.

Jojo, she had a big fashion choice. She wore these little, do you remember Jojo wore these little, little jackets? Yeah. She did wear little jackets. Yeah. Super little jackets. Yes. little jacket yes she was great I think I read somewhere like she's very something that got derailed she was on her way her record label this happens like that happened like Fiona Apple happens like a lot of people like where you

kind of like have a record like her record label kind of like kept her on the shelf I think purposefully sort of um so yeah she she got screwed I think by the industry. It's hard to tell. Music is all like I see something where it's like here's how Katy Perry got fucked over by the industry and then someone replied like well maybe she made another good song. It would have kept going. Totally. And it's hard to tell from afar. Sexy confident.

That's her new song, right? Oh my god, it's crazy. I always think of her song I can't even say it now because the's such a way it's phrased. It's so weird that Alex Fast from original member of Uncle Function would always sing it. Uncle Dishonely. Because it's the song. It's unconditionally.

But the way she sings it, it sounds like Uncle Dishonely. It sounds like what a year. Uncle Dishonely. I don like one of your like, Uncle Dishonely. I don't think I've heard that one. And Taylor, your favorite Katy Perry song. What is my favorite Katy Perry? I kissed a girl. Yeah, Katy Perry, not that she asked,

not my type, but I think she's a beautiful woman. You know, I'm glad she has her husband, but I wouldn't. Wait, who's she married to? Orlando Bloom. Oh. Yeah.

Yes. But whenever I see that video of Russell Brand breaking up with her right before she goes on stage. Oh, yeah. I mean, it always feels like it must be staged because it's so incredible. Yeah. Have you seen that? Yeah. It's unreal.

You've seen it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But then you have to remember, she was dating Russell Brand. Married to. Married to Russell Brand. You gotta hold people accountable for the people that they dated. I understand.

No, not me. It was Russell Brand like 2009. No, no. No, no. I don't want that for me. no haha no I don't want that for me um last thing I ask cause I

I just remember I had a friend in high school that we fell out of touch but he was he was gay I know and it was one of those where like and no one was when I went to high school and it was a liberal DC school no one was out of the closet

we're kind of old like I think sometimes people forget like times have changed and I think sometimes we meld into like we have a lot of like Gen Z friends and stuff

but things were scary and dark I know kids are identifying as desks and shut up why aren't you friends with this guy anymore? he didn't feel safe with you why?

but it was one of those things like as a friend and again, way back where it was like he was someone, he felt like he was struggling through life and it was like,

I wonder if I, if I went back now with my, like whether he wanted someone to be, hey buddy, it's cool or to guide him

but never happened and I have no idea. Or he'd go off on you because that's what I did. You know? Sure. You're gay. You're gay. And that might have,. Or he'd go off on you because that's what I did. Sure. I'm not gay. You're gay.

And that might have done something for me too. We've just gone back and forth the whole time. I'm not gay. You're gay. 100%. You never know. So we're sucking each other off. I didn't even know I was homophobic until I had to come out as gay. Like that's pretty crazy.

You know what I mean? I had been number one like gay defender my whole life. And then someone tried to call me gay. I said, what? The Sephora Savings Event is here. World in my hand. I'll take this and that. And that. Ooh, and this.

Oh, it's true. Find everything you want on sale at the Sephora Savings Event. It only happens twice a year and it's on now through November 11th. Find brands like Rare Beauty, Glow Recipe, Valentino, K18 and more all for less. Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain.

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I felt like I had friends in college. I think when I moved to New York, the first three years of being in New York, like kind of pre-Uncle Function, I was like, because I didn't do improv, I was like, I don't know anyone here. Truly, I don't know like a lot of bad jobs so many bad jobs when you would leave your job like what kind of job were you waiting tables what were you doing um i mean i demonstrated magic at toys r us times square okay i i worked at fao schwartz the toy store there

a lot of toy stores um Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I demonstrated magic there. I was a door-to-door salesman for three months. Yeah, that's your toys. I worked in a call center. I mean, I did them all. And when you would leave work, because those aren't really jobs where you would have co-workers that you vibe with.

I was just kind of like in an apartment. Wow, that's wild. Like no friends. Just kind of like looking around. That's my proposal. It's a fraternity for like early 20s, just moved to New York. Yeah. Yeah. I think that is comedy now, you know, I think.

Sure. A little. Sure. Sort of. Yeah. And now that that's gone, things are bad. Yeah. That's why we need those schools back.

I mean, the whole system of it all. Oh, yeah. It's broken. Yeah, yeah. It's broken. Yeah, yeah. It used to be. Do you think that just maybe is generationally us? I think it was a boom. I just think it was a boom.

I think it's coming back maybe. I don't know. I think it was predicated on the belief that this was an entryway to fame and fortune. And for a second, it felt like that might be true. Oh, I thought it was just like what you were saying where you were like, is Shannon going to be there? I literally just was like, I want to get on a house team.

My plan was just to get on a house team. But even that house team, I think more what UCB was, for those, there's a New York, the Upright Citizens Brigade, where it was just the belief that if someone could put you on a stage, then audience would be there. The concept of an audience will be there for the thing that you want to create, that people

just thought that was granted. People thought at a certain point, it's like, well, we're part of this thing and you go to mod night and it'll be sold out. It'll be sold out. No, my first experience was like I did indie improv teams. My first indie show I ever did, there was three people in the audience, and one of them was Sara Bareilles, and it was the worst. It was two people and Sara Bareilles.

The flyer should have said she's going to be there in the audience. Sara's going to be there, and it was horrible. Why was she there? Her sister's a comedian. Oh. And it wasn't on my stinky little team, although really funny people on the team. We just hadn't done it. We were brand new. And we were struggling up there.

But that was really, I didn't think anyone was going to come to the shows. Sure. Not Sarah. I didn't think Sarah was going to be there. Sure. But then more and more, if I did a house team show, I didn't think, if nobody to be there. Sure. You know, but then more and more, you know, I've, I've,

I did a house team show. I didn't think if nobody showed up and it was just my improv team and this is part of the problem, I'd be so, I'm just there to do the show with my improv team. I actually, I actually had to learn to be like, there needs to actually be an audience,

you know, like you need to work on that part of yourself that is marketing yourself a little bit because you're doing it a little too much for the love of it. You know? I would get mad at UCBb because i would i mean i would get mad that like we'd have these sold out shows at ucb and i'd be like and it was fine and like being like it works so hard on an indie sketch team to get people to come and like feel proud of something and then you'd be like you'd go and there'd be a million people there and it was all I mean it was all students looking back on it you know that were just had to be there but

I would get so mad that I'd be like because everyone would laugh at everything and I was and it was so fine do you know I mean yeah okay a blast. Okay. Russell's just miserable. You don't appreciate what you have. You're only there for once. My expectations. You left immediately. Improv I did for years and my expectations were so low. Like I was so thrilled to be there doing something I loved. And we had this coach at one point who, and a friend and I were just talking about this yesterday because we were on the same team

and he would say, we had a coach named Pat Swearengin and he said, you know, think about when you do the show and you do the improv show swearingen and he said you know think about when you do the show when you do the improv show tonight for no money you have to think about yourself when you were like 15 and you wanted to do comedy and now you're here and there's like a place for you in like the biggest comedy city in the world and like you have a show every week and you you have an audience every week and like you're here and you already did it and i thought

that was like i was like that's really true i wanted nothing more when like we started working together and stuff i was literally like what do you my first job money to be had yeah my first job was like a hosting like a random hosting job like definitely not the dream of what i wanted to do and toba's like it's fifteen thousand dollars and i was like it's fifteen thousand,000. And I was like, it's $15,000. How many drink tickets? Oh my God. Endless. It was a branded deal.

We were going across the country. Endless drink tickets. I mean, truly in retrospect, you should have been paid so much more money. But to me, I said so much more. Right. But she took a tour bus across the country with a bunch of,

uh, like branded media. Like, yeah. We worked at a, like a brand company for, and then in the sweltering heat of uh like branded media like yeah who worked at like a brand a company for and then in the sweltering heat of the summer yeah i was in like the desert of roswell being like hey candy crush fam we're here outside of roswell new mexico we're out here outside the

spacewalk at roswell new mexico getting our crush on sweating sweating dressing myself like buying all my own clothes for it doing my own hair hair. I'm like hungover as shit. I slept in a coffin on a bus. I'm like, this has been the best 10 days of my life. You worked during the real upswing of online, kind of clickbaity, small time sketch. You worked at Elite Daily. I worked at Elite Daily, yeah.

And you were there during the crash of the dot-com. Yeah. Is there a name for it? You know, there was the dot-com crash. It was like the early 2000s. It was like the BuzzFeed bubble, kind of. It was like that 23rd Street. They had like all those business.

Like BuzzFeed was there. And then Elite Daily was there. But then they had like the HuffPo. They were doing videos. I wasn't doing videos. I was like writing like in entertainment. I was being like Kim Kardashian ate a churro today or whatever you know but so such a such I had waited tables for years before that so I literally would go there every day high as a kite at 9 a.m free snacks I'm I brain turned all the way off an

incredible job okay and where would you go? Are they giving you stories? Yeah. They're saying, yeah, we're not breaking news. Taylor did water game. So they're telling you that Kim Kardashian ate a churro.

No, like Buzzfeed is writing about it first. Okay. Or like some, yeah. Are you full on copy pasting? Yeah. No,

but you have to like write it. What they really liked is like. A churro was eaten by Kim Kardashian. They liked it if like they would jump on the headline and then you would like put your own little funny little spin on it. Like me and another friend worked there and we would be like, whatever. We would like, you just have to like make sure you had 500 words or something and you'd write a bunch a day and it was just being like,

we'll make it like a funny version of this BuzzFeed story of just the facts were you keeping track of like oh did my article did well today or did you ever have one that like blew up and you were like this is insane yeah sometimes it would blow up or like whatever was the rock one oh yeah the rock put me on his instagram because i was yeah i mean looking back i was sexually objectifying the rock you know what i mean but he loved it what did you say he was like a best dressed list. And I said, he looked like absolutely scrumptious, buttery delicious, you know what I mean? And he loved it and he shared it. So that was always fun.

But I'm not gay. The rock is hot. I'm like literally hottest guy I've ever seen. That's a man. Yeah. No, I didn't care at all. I remember getting the job and being like, this is the easiest job I've ever had.

I was salaried. The money I was making for the work I was doing was just like insane. And yeah, looking back, were they running the business well? Obviously not. But I think I got the job. I was there for two years, which is crazy. And I just thought, enjoy this while it lasts, because it's not going to last. Could you feel the walls crumbling?

I was working there with a really paranoid friend who got me the job. And he was always like, make sure you're keeping all your emails right now and your contacts. Oh, my God. And I'm like, I don't care about this. I don't care about this. When I leave this job, when they fire me, I'm going to float away to something else that will materialize in front of me. And that's how I live my life. And for the most part, it helps me avoid anxiety and entitlement.

I'm literally like, something will happen. Were you fired? Yeah. It was crazy. It was really, it was, I'm really sorry. I didn't watch Succession, but I heard that there is a scene like this in Succession where they like mass fire.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're in it. I know. I don't like to watch. I genuinely don't. You're not in that much of it. I can't watch Succession. I can't watch anything I'm in.

I can't watch myself. In case they talk about my character again. If I popped up for even a line, can't watch anything I made. I can't watch myself. If I popped up for even a line, I would be like, ah! I would pick myself apart. I don't want to see that. Also, when I shot the show,

I was like, what is the tone of this? Yeah. Sure. Because the four came out. Sure, sure. So I'm mostly scared of having to watch the-

So you're doing like real goofy. You're like- Oh, I was giving so much. I was like swinging. Excuse me. You got 12 seconds. I'm swinging my ponytail around.

I'm like staying in the shot kind of. But there is a scene where he comes in and like man fires everyone. And it's literally what happened. They probably kept a third of the company on. And then they had a third of the company go like be freelance basically. Make like less money. You're not salaried. You don't have insurance.

And then those of us who I had been brought in a little earlier, and I have a feeling I was getting paid more than other people. And so me and my friend were in this third group where they bring us into this room. And a lot of the people, I was probably like 27 or 28 when I got fired. And we're standing in this room. And everyone else was probably like a couple years younger, like anywhere from like 22 to 24.

And so they hadn't had a, they like thought that work is family and stuff like no offense but like they did think that and they would hang out together and spend time together no judgment because literally me and my friend were going to do our improv show every night like absolute losers okay and so they bring us into this room and i think everyone else was having this feeling of like you're just letting letting us go. This is my family. This is my job. And that's on you, you know, like you should have made a plan. Like no one owes you anything. And that's a big lesson. And if you had worked at a bunch of stinky restaurants for a bunch of coke heads, you would know that, but you didn't. This is your, if that was my first job, I can't, I can't imagine. And so, um, my friend and I are

sitting in the back and everyone's in the meeting crying. They're crying. They're holding hands. They're crying. And me and my friend are like. We got three months severance. Three months severance. Oh, my God.

Because they gave us no notice. Three months severance, three months health insurance. We were like. Yeah. They were like, we're all going to a bar after this. I'm like, I'm not. I'm never seeing people again. Legitimately, it was like the Friday before Taylor was like,

should I quit? Oh, yeah. I had an audition for the Jim Gaffigan show and they didn't want to let me go to it. And I said, I got to get out of here. We got his, we got his,

this is making a lot more money off this. I'm so sorry. I didn't give you the opportunity to hire me for your show. Um, um, I one time was at a job where they called us all in at weird times. And I said to everyone, I said, I think we're getting fired. And everyone else was fired except me.

Cause everyone, everyone else was like, I don't think so. Maybe we're getting like raises. Like, and I was like, no, it's weird. I think we're all getting fired. And, and the other three people all got fired. And then I got to keep my job. Um, and they all, uh? That was not a toy store. I think that is a different job.

Wow. But yeah. Yeah. I just rode the wave until it was done. I think it's one of those jobs. You know what I mean? It was like amazing

that I had it and I got to do comedy at night and I made money. I got a terrible haircut while I was there. It was just... Yeah. And then I was gay

and that's the whole... Let's go to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has has got to stop this has got to stop something that needs to stop and go away can be big, small broad, personal

I have one do you have one? yeah you want to go? go ahead do you have that okay so I keep getting this one Twitter ad

don't play it quite but it's it's I believe the philosopher's name is Daniel Craig Robinson, Lane Craig Robinson. I think he's a philosopher, Christian philosopher. And somehow this

ad pops up every time. It's him talking to, of all people, Ben Shapiro. And this is like to somehow convince me to become Christian. And this is the ad. Is this on Instagram or TikTok? Twitter. Oh, Twitter.

Because there's like a lot of Christianity on Instagram right now. It's crazy. What is the proof that Jesus was who he says he is in the gospels? I think the answer to that is his resurrection from the dead. Jesus' resurrection from the dead is Yahweh's public and unequivocal vindication of the man whom the chief priests had rejected as a blasphemer. Therefore, I follow Jesus in his conception of what it means to be the Messiah. The inference to the resurrection of Jesus are three great independently established facts. The Jesus tomb was discovered empty on the first

day of the week by a group of his female followers. Secondly would be that various individuals and groups of people witnessed appearances of Jesus alive. And finally, number three would be the original disciples suddenly and sincerely came to believe that God had raised Jesus from the dead, despite having every predisposition to the contrary. That's a really good point. Witnesses, witnesses. Witnesses, witnesses, witnesses. Now, listen, especially because we're both getting this.

So clearly they put in 30s to 40s, white, sad. And we're getting them a lot. And here's my argument. It's like, look, if you want to convert me to Christianity, you're not going to do it with your three points

that a lot of people said. Yeah. A lot of people said a long time ago. You're going to have to relate to me on like a, hey,

it's bad. It's bad and it doesn't matter. Yeah. And wouldn't it be nice? Right. Someone's going to take your piece of the pie pie someone's coming for what you have yeah or just like like hey look at you is what you're doing good yeah no maybe try this but like the idea of like and i get this ad 10 times a day

on my twitter feed yeah and i'm like you thought you thought that the reason I wasn't there is because I needed a couple more testimonies that they saw the guy. Yeah. You need proof. And first of all, and Ben Shapiro, that's the gateway. Like, well, I like this guy. Isn't he an Orthodox Jew? He's an Orthodox Jew, and he's got the yarmulke, and he says Yahweh as heavy as he can. So it's just the wrong way to appeal.

I don't know who that's to appeal to. Yeah. It just the wrong way to appeal. I don't know who that's to appeal to. It's the wrong way. You could get me to join a cult in the right way. Yeah. You think?

Yeah, but you can't go through it up here with the facts. You got to go through it down here with the sad. Yeah. You got to go down here with the like,

come on, buddy. Don't you want to have some people to hang out with sometimes? Yeah. So that's why this has got to stop. stop if you're gonna try to manipulate me at least do it in a way that appeals to marketing yeah they should do because on instagram they have all those like trad wife um instagrams where it's like women are like they should send them to them that they

should show them like look at all these young hot women homemakers who are like, literally also the tone is like, I'm so happy ever since I relinquished my power. I'm so satisfied. There's that one that was really popular where it was like, my kid says for a PB&J.

Five hours later, I made the jelly with all these ingredients. And yeah, I guess so. That is definitely more. Yeah, who is it? I'll send it to you because I mean,

the PB&J looks amazing. Well, that's Nara Smith and I do believe her husband is actually Mormon which is a little different but sure you know

it is it's still trad wife culture for sure and what does trad stand for traditional life oh John Mark is converting before our eyes

look at the gleam in his eyes tradition the other day I mentioned that I used to make my ex-boyfriend Like lunch every day

Like in a crock pot before he would go to work And John Marco goes How interesting Who made you lunch today? And it was delicious And honey when I'm eating the food you make me I go I get it She's a good cook

Very good cook And it cannot be women voting again make me i go i get it she's a good cook i get it very good cook yeah um what is your this is cannot be women voting again yeah um my uh there's gotta stop you sometimes i'll see people like not like friends so don't if you're a friend of mine i'm not talking about you i'll see people who i see from time to time and they'll be like they'll like apologize about not listening to the podcast. And it's like, if anything, all you tell me you don't listen. It's just now a person in my head that I can talk about on the podcast because it's like, I don't I'm not assuming anyone's listening. So it's like one of those things where you're like, it's just this weird moment where they're where it's like they're like apologizing. Like, like, I've been waiting for them to comment on it do you know what i mean like they like they're like

i gotta be honest with you and i'm like i don't give a shit like what are you talking about like so anyways it happens a lot though and i don't care if you're not listening they're not gonna know to stop is the problem no you're shouting into the void. But it's a lot. Because of course not. Basically, you'd be saying like, hey, do you listen to the four hours of content every week? No, of course. Yeah. Is there ever, when you did Titanic though, is that a moment where you have friends who never saw it? Never saw it.

And you go you go i don't think i don't think i had a good good friend that didn't see it really well maybe that's not true but i don't mind if you don't bring it up yeah i don't really i don't mind if you don't but i do get annoyed when it's like oh i really wanted to see that and i was like you truly if you've got like 15 sure because then they want the point they want the point of like i wanted to i wanted to make that and I was like you truly if you've got like 15 months that you could have seen it because then they want the point they want the point of like I wanted to I wanted to

I didn't make any effort at all and it was like that's the only time I get annoyed is like you could have done that you know we had a lot of times

that's why I've stopped if I like can't go to something or whatever I used to want to like be like I have to if it was like close to the thing and I'm not going I'd be like

I have to let them know and it's like no you don't like no one wants a text right before they go on stage or have a party or something saying, Oh, I know you're really hoping I would be there, but I'm not going to be there. It's like, it's going to be fine. I wouldn't probably notice. And it's really good.

Yeah. It's really fine. Do you ever just got to stop? I don't, I always have them like on the street and then I completely blink. I have a lot in my life. You have a lot in your life. If what comes to you, I've been blink. I have a lot in my life, but I can't think. You have a lot in your life. If one comes to you, let's talk about it. I've been thinking. I've been thinking.

Do you have a this got to stop? Yeah. I mean, I flew here. I'm flying back. I've been flying a lot this year and for the past five or six years. And my one that I think I think about even when I'm not on a plane, which is crazy, is if you and I know there's people who don't travel for work. I really get it. But this is what the people I'm who don't travel for work. I really get it. But this,

what the people I'm talking about do travel for work. Okay. And it's, uh, when the plane lands and if you're in seat like 400 D okay. And it's always a guy in a button down or something. So maybe you're on a business trip. You do not need to run into the aisle and run off the plane. It's clogging it up. It's making it take longer. The concept of like, but I want to get off the plane is like, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And if your job didn't pay for you to sit in business class, don't run to the business trip.

Why are you running off the plane to get to the business trip faster? Yeah. It's insane. It's always like these older dudes like clogging the aisles and there's like an old woman trying to get out of her seat. And I'm like, can we, this is crazy. No, they shout and they say, I'm so sorry. I have a connection. I'm about to miss it.

That's okay. And I also actually kind of, if I see someone kind of jumping out, I will be like, does, do they have a, you know, when someone has a connection, you know, they've told everyone around them. And they're sort of doing the, they're sort of doing the loud checking where they're like, Oh, where is it? Where is it connected? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I would do that if I had a connection. I would make it so obvious that I had a connection. Yeah, I'd really put on a performance. Because I don't confront people off of them. But when people go ahead in the plane and they don't let the, it's row by row by row. Takes forever. Oh, I say something. And listen, if you're in an ILC, you want to stand up, get your bags.

It is a little frustrating. But I get it. We all want to stand up, stretch our legs. It's the privilege of an aisle seat. I don't hate that as much. Walking through, it's like you guys were in a tube. If we weren't in a tube, do whatever you want. Yeah.

I forget if I said this on the show. So I went on recently, and I had the aisle seat, which I picked in advance. I always do. I actually do window because I can sleep against the thing. That's the only way I can sleep. So now I'm always window. Me too. But because I can sleep against the thing. Yeah. That's the only way I can sleep. So now I'm always window. Me too. But occasionally I had to go aisle and this guy,

I go up to my seat and this guy is sitting in the aisle and he goes, he goes, what are you? D is D. He said, I'm D is D is D aisle or middle. I'm like, motherfucker.

We all know what he is you know sir are you seriously you thought I and the thing is like is the aisle and I think what made me most mad is like

I knew it wouldn't work on me but I'm thinking about the person that he would have been able to manipulate into giving him that seat and I was like fuck you dude

you don't have to move for anybody you don't have to trade with anybody ABC it was just insane yeah and yeah that's insane absolutely don't force me to with anybody. Which one's the ABC? This is insane. Yeah.

Yeah. That's insane. Absolutely not. Don't force me to confront you. That happened to me on my flight to England. Well, Hasidic men won't sit next to women on the plane, so they'll make a whole issue and be like, I need to move seats. And when you fly to Israel, it's like mayhem because they're so many Hasidic.

Do they do it politely? Do they go like... Sometimes and sometimes they're like real dicks about it. But this guy was sitting in the middle of an international flight and he was like asked if I would switch with him. And it's like, are you insane? In the middle?

Not only the middle, but the middle of the middle. No, like, you know, there's three rows. The middle of the middle section. No, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, that's actually the last place

I would ever want to be. And I'm like... And I also am like... I obviously wasn't presenting orthodox, but I'm like, I know what you're doing, and no. You know? Oh, you thought it was that he could have prepared. Remember that for your vacation tomorrow? No, they always do it. They always do it.

He was gone, and then he was, he did figure it out. What do you mean he was gone? He sat somewhere else. He did figure it out, ultimately. Oh, he traded with someone else. He did trade with someone else, ultimately, because I didn't see him the rest of the flight. But, you know. Remember there's that stand-up comedian.

He was Hasidic. I saw him on a mic once. He was so funny. He just talked about bumping into a girl in the subway. He's like, I felt like a slut. And it was, and I couldn't tell if it was a character or he really was. I don't fucking know.

Let's go on to our final segment. Okay. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. Something that we're thankful for. Russell, do you have a blessing? Yeah. Okay.

So my, I don't love the haircut, but my barber shop. What don't you like about it? It's fine. I got to figure out. Like they tried to blame me after it was done. They were like. Wait, the moment they finished, they said. They were like after it was done they were like wait the moment they finished they said they were like i was like well i have a colic in front and it feels like and

they were like they're like oh yeah it was it was like you must have had a headband or a hat on i was like yeah and they're like oh well i was mad and i was like well we couldn't have like you know anyways but i like though that i go there regularly and um they're like super chatty um but they don't talk to me that much and i appreciate that they know that i don't love it and they're like but there are guys that come every like they go every five days so they can talk to another person but um then they they're very chatty with i feel like they know though that i'm like i don't want to really talk that much isn't this a perfect metaphor though your your lack of wanting to communicate resulted in you not getting what you want i showed showed them a picture of what I wanted.

No, of an old picture of me. Was it like a young Josh Gad or a more recent Josh Gad? It was 2011, Josh Gad. Tova, you go. I mean, I'm thankful for both of you, all of you, but Taylor and... You're mine, too. I think, well, I'm so for both of you, all of you, but Taylor. You're mine too. I think, well, I'm so thankful you came for my birthday. It means so much.

I'm so thankful that Gianmarco orchestrated it. I just felt very blessed in like a real way. I feel like talking about community and being in New York in your 20s and just figuring it out. I feel like it took a long time to cultivate real friendship and real community. And both of you being a part of that in a real way of, yeah, it was really, really meaningful. And it made me really emotional. And also Russell for buying a round of drinks for my birthday. I wasn't there, but I didn't get my drink.

It was just a personal. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. John Mark was like, this drink was $400. Yeah. That's what it costs. No, I'm so thankful.

And it was it was like one of those like, you know, when you're young, you're like, I hate birthdays. And it's because your birthdays are bad because you don't have friends. Right. I still don't really like them. Yeah. Well, maybe. Yeah.

But I like this is the first year i'm like i like birthdays and i think i'm a birthday girl you are such a birthday girl i don't birthday month tova i only post for people whose birthdays who like like i feel like that's part of their love language and like you're one of those people you're a person who cares about their birthday yeah for sure and and i think many years i'm like whatever i'd like be ready for a letdown to be disappointed and this was like not only it superseded, which I think is really hard to do. Yeah.

So I'm very, that's what I'm saying. I'm not going to say too much because I have a big portion of my Oscars acceptance speech that I've planned that is about for Tova and about Tova. So I don't want to say all the specifics on the pod or saving it for when I'm, you know, on the broadcast. But for sure, I'm obviously really grateful for Tova, not only as a friend, but as like my creative collaborator as well. You know, I think, oh God, I can't even make this comparison because it would be too much explaining about people again.

I want to hear it. people again. I want to hear it. But me as, me in the way, like, the truth is before we met, I was existing as someone who was really just like doing comedy like only for the love of it and I would have been satisfied for the rest of my life. And I was like, there's money here, girl. Well, kind of, but like I would have like waited tables, I like wouldn't have pushed myself really.

I would have like, I would have been happy like literally waiting tables doing improv for the rest of my life and I think that when when people see what i make i think it seems like i'm the one making it but i wouldn't have like even explored those things if i we hadn't met each other like there's no like version of me having like a career or even having certain creative experiences if we weren't doing it together god that's part of my oscar, literally. They're going to play the music off. I'm saving it. So long. Oh, I have a good blessing for your birthday.

I won't say her name. I do know it, but because I don't know if it would be. So there happened to be someone who is an anesthesiologist. It's amazing that you can say that word. And I think they're going to help me figure out all the things they need to know about how to sleep on a plane.

It was so nice. It's so crazy that I can't go to my own doctor and ask the questions I want to ask. Wait, this is one of Tova's friends? Yeah. And I feel like and they're very cool. I'm sure people asked them

all the goddamn time, but they're going to help me figure out the things I wish I could ask my doctor, who, when I asked him for sleep medication, said, have you tried giving your brain permission

to fall asleep? Oh, my God. So I'm very grateful for that. I don't think you're going to like Adderall, but I'll give you some, but I don't think you're going to like it.

I'm so excited. You're just going around going to be asking everyone for drugs. I'm trying them all now. I think I'm going to ask if you remember drugs. I'm trying them all now. I think I'm going to do it on the pod. I'm not going to give

John Marco unprescribed Adderall for the record. Wait, on a recent episode he took one Zin and almost died. He almost died.

He had to throw up. He had to eat almonds. He had to eat. It was awful. And what is it? Nicotine. I've seen it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like nicotine salt or something. So we're going to do one. I'm going to try one episode on Adderall. I'm not doing Adderall. Okay, that's fine. But then you have to. We've already talked about this for the Patreon. Patreon.com slash downside.

We're going to do an episode. We always release a little of the Patreon publicly. But at the end of one of the Patreons, and it's coming up soon, Russell and I are both going to do poppers right here on this couch. Oh, that'll be fun. Have you done it? No. God. No, but it's coming up soon. Russell and I are both going to do poppers right here on this couch. Oh, that'll be fun. Have you done it? No. God.

No, but it's poppers. It's not like, you know what I mean? I heard so quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you're into it. We'll see.

We'll see. I kind of want you to do it and then just see and then maybe I'll do it right after. Maybe that's how the Patreon, I do it in the beginning and then if I'm live by the end, you do it at the end of the Patreon. Don't be like begging to do poppers on camera,

like being like, I'm not gay. This is, oh, no, no, let's plug stuff. Oh, yeah. Okay, this is coming out, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. This is coming out July 30th.

Tova, what do you want to plug? All of my clients work. Yeah. Yeah. You manage to have websites, like check out my clients. Yeah, check out all my clients. Check out my IM work. Yeah. Yeah. You manage to have websites like check out my clients. Check out all my clients. Check out my IMDB pro page.

I'm always going to agents websites to look at what. Go client by client and look up their Instagrams and follow all of them. Subscribe to an IMDB pro account. Pay the money.

Yes. If you want to pay enough money to get some of them headshots on their pages because some of them don't have. I mean, Russell needs some new ones now. It's such a scam.

But yeah, check out all my clients work including something taylor's cooking up i'm cooking something up it'll come up later and you're in a trailer right now i'm in a trailer right now watch jackpot on amazon prime what you saw in the trailer and actually that'll be coming out in august which is really exciting so it's like probably two weeks after this you can watch jackpot um and you can see if you want to see something after this you can watch jackpot um and you can see if you want to see something i made you can watch long lost um on my socials uh what's your handle taylor ortega taylor ortega it'll be in the comments as well russell what do you want to plug what was this coming out again after our tour oh well sorry uh you missed it um follow me on instagram at russell day daniels you want to plug the company you work for to vote?

No, no, no. Okay. And me, I'm going to Australia. Australia with Tova. Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Sydney, and Auckland. And then when I'm back in the States later in July, later in August, I'll be at Grand Rapids, Michigan, at Dr. Grin's comedy club

this is The Downside 1, 2, 3 Downside Downside You're listening to The Downside The Downside with Gianmarco Cerezi