The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #233 Laura Ramoso Went Into Debt For Snickers

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Comedian Laura Ramoso joins to share the downsides of poorly run character shows, growing up living around the world, impersonating your German mom and Italian dad, getting senior pranks banned from your school, and going into debt from buying Snickers. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Laura on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & Facebook See Laura in a city near you! https://www.lauraramoso.com/tour Follow Ty Colgate on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, & TikTok Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. Welcome to The Downside. My name is Drew Marco Cerezi. I am here in Toronto at Toronto Podcast Studios. Yeah, great. I'm here. Russell, listen, Russell's home in New York. We'll get him to Toronto someday. But I'm here Russell's home in New York We'll get him to Toronto someday But I'm here with my opener Former Downside guest Ty Colgate

I'm off the bench Thank you for coming Of course I'm joined We're joined by an incredible Comedian Performer, entertainer Laura Romoso.

Oh, hello. How are you? Ciao, I'm very good. Oh, Laura, we'll get to you in a second. So I don't know how much you use your very impressive following to get free shit, but I'm trying. And I wanted to go to a CrossFit gym. I have a little workout for my trainer. Some CrossFit gyms, you have to take a class, and I just to go to a CrossFit gym. I have a little workout for my trainer.

Some CrossFit gyms, you have to take a class and I just want the space. I just want the facilities. And so I wrote them and this guy was like, yeah, come in. And I say in the thing, I say, I'm happy to make a story post just to share. He goes, fine, take a picture of me working out,

picture of the gym, thanks. I'll find, just to share. He goes, fine, take a picture of me working out, picture of the gym, thanks. I'll find something funny to do. And he writes back, oh, oh, we'll make a video, and we can do a collab on a reel. And I'm like, I know it's a bad idea. I know it's a bad idea, and I'm looking for other studios this entire time. I cannot find one that's open

or will give me a confirmation. And I get stuck. I just go, I'll do it. Whatever. He'll do an interview. And I said many times, I said, he kept saying like, we'll collab. And I said, story, share. One story, share.

A note. You immediately realize why we do need agents or managers at the end of the day. So I go there and the guy's not there so for a second i think maybe i don't have to maybe i don't do any of this no 30 minutes into my workout he comes and i i don't he's very sweet he's very nice he wants to do a full, like, basically a podcast of sorts while I am doing my workout from the trainer. And it is like I don't have in me. I got to develop it because I'm 36 now and it is insane. I don't have the thing that goes, hey, I think this is a little bit much.

And we had said this. I just go with it. And he is in the middle of hard, hard things. He's asking me questions. And not just, first of all, questions that I cannot be funny in the answer to. Because it's not a funny, it's nothing. And my mind's in other places but the question the one I remember as I'm doing the hardest lunges I have ever done in my life with weights on my back he goes so if you could replace one piece of workout

equipment with a joke what would that joke be and why and i'm like not even emo phillips would understand what to do with this premise that you have offered to me so layered and this is wow i'm doing individual squats and he's taking his camera and like in my face going swoop swoop swoop swoop, swoop. This is for, I don't know, 45 minutes of my workout. I didn't say, please stop at any point. I didn't say a thing. I go, it hasn't been made yet. I'm sure he's editing it with a full team now.

I'm on it, actually. I'm wearing a sound. He gave me a sound thing. He gave me a sound thing. I was like, what happened here? He mic'd you? He mic'd me. During the workout?

He mic'd me. You're flipping tires with a lava? Yes. Oh my. And it really, it's humiliating that I can't advocate for myself in that moment or the uncomfortability that I have. Are you good at that kind of stuff? I'm trying to get better I'm really

trying um but no I'm typically very like okay yeah sure like that's my vibe typically yeah like one time um I was just starting out in um not really like my my my social media had been like doing pretty well for a little bit. And then, uh, one day and I'd been, I did some brand deals and one day, um, a random knock, uh, someone knocks on my apartment door and, um, I wasn't expecting anybody. And so I opened it and it's this woman with like a, um, uh, I don't know what it is yet but it's like a package um and i think i'm not expecting anything i didn't order anything this is unexpected and i'm immediately obviously scared but i'm like sure i'll take the package it has my name on it like thank you kind lady um and she And she says, this is from a student at the art school here.

And I'm like, okay. This is really nice. I open it and it is a fine art painted, a painting of my character, German mom. Like a serious, like, you know, those old timey portraits holding a bag of a branded potato chip that I'd done an ad for. And it only came out later that this brand had commissioned the student to send me this painting, but nobody had told me what it is. I had opened it and I was like, I getting i'm getting murdered like for real i've expected accepted this gift and who would want to murder you would it be an italian or a german an italian

and and just because like don't make don't make fun of us like this um yeah like you are half german so you don't really get to oh no i mean yeah who's more sensitive germans or italians italians for sure yeah yeah yeah in a in a like in a fight way the physical the confrontational yeah yelly yeah yeah very very outwardly um germans just seethe quietly quietly yeah now can you imagine if you if you were to let's say you got a free yoga class out of your following and you got there and they said, Oh, could you do the yoga class as your German mom? Well, that's inappropriate because yoga is about you and being peaceful. But CrossFit, I think is more appropriate because you're supposed to be doing multiple things at once.

If you, okay, if you're going to make a video German mom doing what, what exercise? Is it Pilates? Yoga? It's fully aqua gym. Aqua gym? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Bouncing up and down in just a shallow water.

I went to one of those once. It was like, it was like a spin class and it was like on class pass. And I was like, oh, this would be cool. Spin class in water? In water, yeah. And it was like on class pass. And I was like, oh, this will be cool. Spin class in water? In water, yeah.

But when I got there, it was very clear. Like this is for people who lost the ability to walk for 10 years and are starting back out again. This was not, which is great. We need, this is a great class to have. It's great. But I thought I was going to a spin class and I was going to learn how to walk again. This is rehabilitation. This is The Downside.

You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi. I want, oh welcome, this is The Downside. Guys, this is a place where we complain, we get negative, we don't need to pretend that the traffic in Toronto isn't some of the worst shit I've ever dealt with in my entire life. That I'm looking at the Uber and it says, you're going to be there in 20 minutes.

No, five minutes. No, 38 minutes. This city has great food. Yeah. And listen, I don't purport to know a lot about the city. We were. We were going to come here a day earlyport to know a lot about the city. We were. We were going to come here a day early, but we ended up adding shows, which is nice. I shouldn't complain, but I didn't do a goddamn thing in this city.

Yeah, I think I've eaten like at two places. What are they? It was, I think, Caroline's kitchen or just breakfast places. Like I've like tried nothing here. Right. Cause it's just shows. Just shows. Three shows yesterday.

I've been door dashing sashimi every goddamn day. I don't know if the mercury poisoning thing is still a, uh, do you remember when there was like a thing? Yeah. That stopped. Right. I think so. Cause I'm eating.

I'm eating a lot. Too much sashimi. Too much sashimi So if you're a fan of the show Join the Patreon Patreon.com slash downside Now Laura I met you At JFL New Faces Is that where we met? Or did we even meet?

I just wrote you I said good job And you said thank you I needed that It's been a tough... No, you were on the JFL with my friend Chris Caffaro. Yes. Where there was, speaking of not speaking up, there were some tech issues on that show. Oh, baby.

Oh, baby. Tell, so again, for people who don't know, this is before JFL disappeared, and they might be coming back So I'm going to be nicer than I would be There were So the characters, New Faces characters Big deal

It can be an opportunity Occasionally, where did that SNL cast member come from? New Faces It's a pipeline And it's really brutal what they have to do They have to make this five minute mini character set it's very challenging to make a character set period a five minute character set that's going to be part of 10 it's it's and there's tech there's tech and what happened the

day of do you mind i don't mind i would be honored. Well, they tell you to send in a text sheet and everything beforehand. They ask you all in a specific format. It's so specific the way they want you to write the cues. And you're like, okay, this means that there's somebody up there who knows. Someone cares. Who cares, knows how to read the cue sheet, will press a button. And was that because was that partly because the union stuff is very i i had heard that like they had to use like a union

person as opposed to their person i'm sure that's part of it because i i'm sure that theater is union and therefore they would have had to have a union tech on the board who is famously union techs famously not comedy techs famously theater techs yes like very straight serious people who um like if a comedy tech is a very specific kind of job and i what's the difference how would you describe the difference i would describe the difference as like um having comedic timing to um uh cut out, cut out like blackout on, on right on the right moment or like, or like writing a laugh. Um, and, but, but theater techs and bless them. And I, and I respect them fully, uh, follow pretty much a script. And, um, if you don't say, if you say, I love wine instead of I like wine, they're like, that's not the cue and I will not be pressing the button right now.

cue and I will not be pressing the button right now um but no I I think we uh we I don't know what exactly happened but we got into the space and we had all day for tech and essentially I think each person took I want to say between like 45 minutes to an hour to like run and program maybe two to three cues in each person's thing. And so by the time, the show started like an hour and a half late. And I have to emphasize that you can't start late at this because the whole deal is that the industry,

this is a very rare moment where all the industry is coming to the show and they have another show, if not three more, that night to get to that either their clients are in or it's, you know, it's just a rare moment so to start late means that i only saw you and two other people because you luckily were in the beginning yeah it was very lucky especially because by the time we started an hour and a half late but two people two people didn't even run their textss before the show. And that was my friend. And that was your friend. That was your friend.

I remember, and they had some of the most tech heavy, relatively needs than the rest of the people. And I felt it was just, it was just so unfortunate because you work so hard and you get there and you think, you know, it's going to be like somewhat smooth, tight, you know, something that's been going on for many years. It's only the biggest brand in comedy. So you'd assume.

And it's characters. It's not stand-up. You know. You know you've got people doing, like, things. Tech things. That's the whole point. And I think I don't think I'm speaking out of turn

but they went to my friend and they said hey we can't and he's been there since 10 yes oh since 10 in the morning yes and the show was supposed to be at 7

it's about it's going to be at 8.30 now and so they said to my friend they said hey we're not going to be able to run tech and I mean that's I mean

and I think I think they they tried to make it right but like it's it's hard to emphasize it's in showbiz sometimes it's it's just that moment and you can't just go we'll send him a tape later but yours were there any tech issues and by the way it's not like the people who got in the tech it was smooth sailing it was it was fucking insane and i was i was i knew from the back of the room how big how bad this had gone clearly yeah i mean there were um there was this thing kept happening where you people will do like multiple characters and they'll do a blackout and transition music

in between characters to palate cleanse and then to get ready for the next one. But what happened a lot was they would blackout and play transition music and then bring the lights up immediately, like maybe two seconds later. And the person is still putting on a jacket and a wig. And it's like to put on a wig in front of a crowd is probably the most embarrassing thing that you could possibly do yeah i think like to be putting on half a shoe and your butt's in the air and everyone's like this i'm not supposed to be seeing this but you are and all you can do is just power through it i i have a question though so because like i'm coming from like a stand-up background what do you do so you have tech problems as a character are you doing like german mom riffs

to like make up for the tech problems are you um i think you have to do something i think you have to make people feel comfortable and like you're not uncomfortable you know you can't just sit in that moment without and just power through it i think you have to say something make a joke or as a character as yourself trying to get into the character either either truly whatever whatever comes but no luckily i had um i only had um two cues and yes one of them got messed up but it was not like that it wasn't a big deal the sound was bad too though right yeah yeah the mics were like i mean that's what went right i mean truly oh but you did great well thank you no i i i had i i ended up having a pretty okay time and i'm all the people i met

were fantastic all the comedians on the show all the comedians specifically um so uh for those of you who don't know Laura, I don't know how, but you're an Italian father, German mom, born in Italy. Yeah. Where in Italy? Lignago, which is a town near Verona. Verona. Now, I'm a fake Italian. I know.

I know. And I think there's so much about my dad that I'm like, I've never done the DNA test because I, if I'm under 5%, I don't want to know. Scary. If I was, what percentage would I have to be that you go, oh no, you're Italian? Um, like 60. 60? 60, yeah. What the fuck?

What? Aren't you 50? Me? Well, yeah, but like I don't purport to be fully Italian. I always say I'm half Italian. Not fully Italian? When you would say I'm Italian? Half Italian.

Half Italian. Yeah. You're worried about being 5%. You committed your whole name to it. Yeah. You have a more Italian name than me, than most people in Italy. I know. I met a John Marco last night at the show. I might be more Italian than you. You're worried people in Italy. I know. I met a Gianmarco last night at the show. I might be more Italian than you.

Very well. Very well. But my dad, so there's things about my father that I'm always just like, well, is it just mental illness or is it Italian? Like, you know, he talks with his hands, certainly. But a lot of people talk with their hands. Jews talk with their hands.

Is there, is there there You know how the Matzah pizza Italian Jewish Is there an Italian German Is there a word is there a thing I would think you would know If there's a word Like if some people go matzah pizza Pizza potato

I don't know what they do for Italian Irish But people like have like a thing You've never heard of this? No Maybe Americans we just like a little nickname You just make it easier for yourself What's the German food? Bratwurst?

Schnitzel? Blutwurst? Schnitzel linguine There we did it We got a catchy one right there linguine sounds good too it's just a dish muesli what cut it cut the pod do you feel uh how how long were you in italy because i know you traveled a lot as a kid yeah yeah i was um i was born and then six months later, because of my mother's work, we started, we moved. We moved to Cameroon in West Africa for six years.

Oh my God. And then we kept traveling, Azerbaijan, China, Vietnam. And then I graduated from high school. But we kept, we did, we went home to Italy during the summers and Christmas. But the rest of the year year we were living abroad. So growing up, are you speaking Italian and German? And French. They just mix that in?

Yes, because my parents didn't know each other's languages when they met and they both knew French. And so they first communicated in French and then in Cameroon we spoke in French. And my mom ended up learning Italian because she works hard. So they first communicated in French and then in Cameroon we spoke in French. Yeah. And my mom ended up learning Italian because she works hard. And my father never learned German. Well, German's a nightmare. Yes, I know.

It is. It actually is harder. It's, it's, German's harder? Yes. Yes. Italian has a lot of rules that are like also very hard to learn. Right. I gave like two years to German. I

quit. You quit? I quit. Give me something. God. I know the basics, which now it's like a Vigates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just a ish leave a dish. Oh, danke.

What was that? Please don't leave me out. I did not take two years of German. How are you? And then that was I love you Yeah he told me he loved me Why do you need to learn that one That was in the basics class But that was before I was hoping to get some digits in Berlin

My flight's leaving Berlin's a different place Do you know if your parents Did your mom ever say to your dad Come on learn some German, please? Yeah, of course. How far did he get? Scheiße.

Well, I mean, that's great. He didn't even get to the I love you? What the hell? Yeah. Were they married by the time he was learning German? He never started to learn German. Okay. Yeah.

I was about to say, if he was already married, it made sense why the Scheiße was before the Schliebe do. I see. Yes, of course. Yes. Yes. I only speak the language we're talking right now. English. Yes.

And I'll never learn another language. I never will. I don't have the brain for it. I've tried. Have you? I have. Which one? I mean, first of all, in American schools, it basically was like Spanish or French. That's kind of the options are given at most schools. I did French. And I think my vocabulary retention was really bad. I think that's just like a weakness I have in my brain. And looking back on it, I'm pretty sure that I came back from every summer feeling like I was behind all of a sudden.

And I think it's because I just lost, I forgot a lot of vocabulary. It's been classes got harder and harder to the point of where I was a good student in general, but I almost failed out of French because that's when they started teaching in French. And I was just lost, completely lost. Have you, when did you learn English? When I started elementary school in grade one. That's tough.

I just feel like if they had done it when I was a baby, it would have just happened. So much easier. I don't even remember learning anything. It just happened to me. It's immersion. But how did German happen if your mom wasn't speaking it to your dad? You just heard her on the phone and picked it up?

No, she was speaking it to me. And then my dad was speaking in Italian to me. And then together we all spoke in French. When you guys go out to dinner, I'm sure for multilingual people, you're like, these are the dumbest fucking questions in the world. When you go out to dinner, where do you start? What language do you start? We typically start in

Italian for my dad. He's really kind of lagging on this side of things. Will you ever say something to your mom in German behind your dad's back? 100%. And does your dad go, I don't even know. He can't even

hear. That's fun. That would be fun. You guys can have little secrets amongst yourselves. We do. We do. Does French ever come up? Yeah, French comes up. Would you be talking about something?

Would the conversation take a turn and it got a little romantic? And you go, let's chat to French. With my parents. You're probably not like, hey, the three of us, we get along. Hey, mom and dad, I really like your vibe. you probably have not like hey the three of us we get along like i mean like oh this guy's be beautiful and you're let's switch when would you switch to french with your parents did you just say this guy's beautiful but said it in english with a french accent i couldn't say it i couldn't say it in french with an english accent. That's all I got. Yeah, you'd be like, you'll be like, I'll say like, Please pass me an Italian and then the pepper we say in French or something. Whatever, somehow like whatever comes out.

Yeah. Do they speak English? My parents? Yeah. Yeah. My mom speaks like fluent English. I know your mom speaks it all. I know. She speaks Polish.

Crazy. I know. She went to medical school in Poland. She speaks English. My dad also speaks English. It's less fluent, less good, but we'll never speak English altogether. But me and my mom will speak English. Yeah.

Yeah. So let's dive into your your parents or talk to me about because i don't i know a little bit about italian a fake version but but german the way that like the things that like you as you portray your mom because i don't think i know that many people from german i know i know like one actor friend I have. And, uh, uh, it seems like she's extremely studious or focused, uh, and,

and, and ambitious. Not a lot of, not a lot of room for, uh, uh, complaining or being lazy. Is that German wide or is that your mom?

I mean, it's definitely my mom. I do sense it, it, it is. I think there's something in the culture of that, um, uh, where it's kind of no, um, bullshit, just straightforwardness. Like we don't really, why would you spend time kind of tiptoeing or lying when you can just say the truth and it's not criticism, it's a fact um and but my mom i think also

especially so um just because of who she is as a person and what her life has been how in germany are they doing therapy or is it is it like a little bit like therapy what what is this yeah why stress stress is not real is that how they is it is it Is it less emotionally fragile than, I mean, America or Canada? Publicly? Definitely. Yeah. Yes, 100%. Like here I feel, especially in Canada, I feel we are all very publicly like, oh, I'm sorry, like that sort of energy, definitely.

And there it's more like, like okay you stepped on my toe so apologize um but privately no i mean privately obviously everybody is like a mess of course a three-dimensional person um was there some article recently you know i always read these articles about international things like oh god i don't even want to know anymore and it just said it just said something it said far-right party rises in germany uh-oh the amt right was it that i mean i don't know i read about in italy too italy places oh italy it's like you're like a female prime minister and then you're like oh oh okay but you know the. I did a show. I did a show in Italy and, uh, in, uh, it's one of the only, honestly, they said, they said, this is the only place worth going right now.

Um, audience wise, it was, oh my God. Milan. Yeah. Milan. Yeah. As I like to say. And it was, uh, that was, uh, I, I did my first little Europe tour and that was, that was, I did my first little Europe tour. And that was the one that felt the most foreign in terms of like, you know, references. And just also just audience behavior.

Anything that was like the best punchline would get an applause. Big claps. And it would, sometimes it would, for stand-up, it would fuck up the rhythm of the joke. Oh, yeah. And then they bring up the, for the applause, they do this thing where they bring up the lights a little. Like, again, this is one of those things I'm like, what, is it just this tech? Maybe it's the same tech JFL used. But, like, they would, like, bring up the light a little as if to be like, we're all here together.

And then they bring it back down. It's nice to be in, like, the middle of a chunk. And you'd be like, okay, back to the bit. We've lost the momentum. Yeah, I don't know about this light thing. That might be very specific to your situation. I've never heard of this light. I don't know.

That's really funny. But the clapping is very real. Yeah, it's like big, big punchline, big joke. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. And then, yeah, for sketch too, like rhythm is all is all you have to catch up i found people said the german shows they're gonna be tough and i certainly made jokes about it but but they were good and where does that is that stereotype true at all that's what i was heard is like listen you're gonna feel like you're bombing in germany but that's actually what

killing in germany sounds like that it's polite or that it's whatever and again like i don't know i don't i'm trying to learn what's true in my travels in my in my two days i spend everywhere i go do germans have less of a sense of humor a more quiet more reserved i think it's definitely more sarcastic. Yes. And no, I don't think they have less of a sense of humor. I think it's just different. I also found that the shows I did in Germany were very hot and really, really warm. They were ready to receive. What about your mom? Because the character is obviously very funny.

Does your mom have that biting sense of humor? Is she undercutting you with a line that is kind of funny the way she's doing it 100 yeah oh yeah yeah some of those lines are verbatim i don't some of them i don't even write how does she feel about the portrayal does she does she get what makes it funny or does she go what are you you just documented life Why is everyone so excited? No, she gets it. And she really likes the videos and she'll be like, sometimes she'll, we'll be in around or doing life in,

huh? We'll be living, living. Sure. And she'll say, too many languages. Yeah. Yeah, living. Sure. And, um, too many languages. Sometimes it's really can't even say. Um,

and she'll be like, she'll say something and then she'll be like, Oh, don't put that in a video. And then the, but the thing is, it's never the stuff that she thinks I'm going to write down. That is the stuff that I'm going to write down.

It's always the stuff that, that is like just who she is as a person. she doesn't even realize um yeah um that that i write down so um so i find that really funny and no she loves them and she shares them and uh she understands too that like now german mom has departed the character into like its own two-dimensional person. Sure. Obviously she's, I don't show every single side of who my mom is, obviously. How, do you have to go shopping for German mom? Like how many outfits do you have?

I have one. You just have one? I just have one. The turtleneck, the glasses. We did the walking video recently. Was that, was that your jacket? Oh yeah. No, that was my mother's actual jacket. Wow. the vet i had to research um okay so obviously there's

the character of it was there any time growing up where where those those either german attributes or your mom's attributes were like oh jesus christ could i get a fucking break here um you know i think now we we go into like parents versus german do you know what i mean sure like um i i i do feel like my parents were very um they were i had a strict upbringing and they expected a lot of me. But I think that was because they were, they really, the way that they showed love was wanting to see me do well and pushing me in things, which I'm so grateful for. But I do feel like that is like who they are as people. Because there are also parents who are German or Italian who are not that way sure sure yeah yeah uh were they were they cool that you

wanted to be a performer um they let me go to theater school uh-huh which I think was big. But they wanted me to have a backup. So then I also, I got, I did a master's in business. At their, they said you have to, you just have to keep going. Where'd you get that undergrad degree? University of Victoria in British Columbia. It's when I moved to Canada. Okay. Yes.

And then I came to Toronto because comedy was in Toronto. And I said, I'm going to move to Toronto to do comedy. And then they said, great, but we want you to get a master's degree. So then. Wow. How many people go from theater school to getting a master's degree in business? I don't, I, I, I, I, there, it was this, like I did this special, there was one year of normal MBA and then the second year was specialized in this school. York University had an entertainment management specialization. So I did that. I mean, it wasn't theater. It was like broadcast management or, you know, like legacy media stuff. But no, I will say it was very tough and I was kind of like student by day, then improv club by night. And I was not social at school at all because all I wanted to do was comedy. So when you graduated, how many years is the program in Victoria, BC?

Four. Four, okay. It's too long. For theatre? Musical theatre degree. I feel strongly about it i feel like uh looking back no one could have talked me out of it that's for damn sure i think either you i think you either break down the whole goddamn fucking system and like move to an art city and like just like use the time and all that money you would have spent to just like get into the weeds and learn and figure it out and have a crazy acting teacher and have a crazy comedy class or at the most a two-year program that sets you up but instead

they give you a four-year program that doesn't set you up and i went to a small one so there was not a lot of community after the fact you go to n NYU, you go to Northwestern, something with it. How big was your conservatory? Like 30 people. Sure. Yeah. It's still small. I mean, but four years.

Not all those teachers have four years of juice to give. Yeah. They hit year three and you go, I think I learned tremoring for voice and speech classes. I don't think, I don't think. Did you ever do that, tremoring? I didn't do tremoring. All the rage and voice and speech classes. I don't think, I don't think, I, did you ever do that, tremoring? That was- I didn't do tremoring.

All the rage and voice and speech. And again, it's just some teacher said it was you would, and you're paying thousands of dollars. Tens of thousands. And you're lying on the floor and you're just taking like various positions, like kind of like this, and you're all doing it.

And you get to the point where like you're shaking right and if it looks familiar if that looks like uh at a church when people start speaking in tongues you're correct it's the same thing it's just it's it's just like you get yourself to a weird physical state it's sexual absolutely and then you go wow my voice feels freer today and you get absolutely no skills to take with you into the real world and you spend all your money on that and it's it's it's garbage it's pseudoscientific garbage and i i for some reason stayed at the school that taught me that while believing it was bullshit. And that's no good. That's a semester?

No. That's a course every goddamn year until, at least for me, we had voice 101, voice 201, voice 301. We needed voice two days and then do you feel like because when i watch your comedy and i i i something that makes you so unique and special is your theatricality and um aside from just the the like theater kid material that you have like just the way that you perform i mean do you feel like you would be in this position had you not gone to theater school? It's hard to know. There's part of me that goes, well, comedy, I would have found my way into comedy one way or another.

And I think I go, I think I just followed the system so much. I think that's why I have such resentment towards it. Where it was just like, well, you either did theater or sports. And theater was very specific to like musical theater, theater. And I do think I ultimately would have come out on this. I look at the things that I don't like because of my temperament. Like I thought I liked musical theater and then I would do the same play for an entire month. And I was like, I'm going fucking nuts. I'm so bored. And I think I would have done plays and gone, I have thoughts I want to share. So I don't know, and I'm sure those skills helped, but there was just so much struggling to fit into something that didn't fully fit me for so long. fully fit me for so long um you you i dreamed when i was an actor i was going to be daniel day lewis like that level of seriousness which is crazy because i don't want to be serious that often when you studied theater did you did you dream of being a Shakespearean actor?

Yes. I thought I was going to be a classical actor for sure. Uh-huh. So much so that after theater school, I was like, what is the next thing I can do? And I went and auditioned for Juilliard two times. Completely, the word is bombed, that audition. Tell me, I've heard you say bombed bombed but okay but why were you expecting to get big laughs and italian applause break with the lights going up yeah

truly um no it was one of those audits the second one the first one was all right the second one um first one in san francisco the second one in chicago and it's kind of like um a full circle moment and i'll get to that in a second but But you get into the room and, you know, you prepare, you have your classical, your contemporary, whatever, your monologues. And then you start. And then I'm like starting. And then I hear from the judge's table just this sound. Oh, God, that has to hurt so much. Oh god that has to hurt so much Looking back with

With being able to be more honest with yourself Do you think You weren't as good as you Thought you were Do you think that Or do you think that you were great and fuck Juilliard Because I also didn't get into Juilliard So I can relate with you there

That's so funny There's actually so many comedians I know who have auditioned for Juilliard Sure I can relate with you there that's so funny there's actually so many comedians I know who have auditioned for Juilliard sure yes I did the one in in New York and I think the worst part of it was the fire alarm went off in the middle of my audition I didn't know how to handle it cool and then they did a thing in the beginning where they had all the people auditioning in New York uh they were going to do like a warm-up exercise where we're all like walking in a circle becoming different animals and what's the nauseating part of it was like if you do this as an exercise fine god god be with you but if you're doing it before an audition everyone's

trying to do an impressive job with their animal and so it was just so intense everyone's so trying hard to be a lizard and like slithering across the ground thinking they're gonna go that's the guy do you remember what you were actor i i got i was that guy slithering i was like i'll i'll get i'll get on the floor yeah i'll fucking bend over for you motherfucking and you're trying to like dodge the other people. Uh-huh. Oh, God. What were your monologues? Do you remember?

Yeah. I did Helena from A Midsummer Night's Dream. Okay. And then I did Lady Macbeth. And to answer your question, no, it was bad because I was 19 doing Lady Macbeth. Sure. And then everyone else is also doing Lady Macbeth. Sure. And then everyone else is also doing Lady Macbeth. If you went back now with all that you've learned

and all that you know, do you think you could crush that audition? No. Really? I mean, I could do what I do, but I don't think it's what they would want.

I don't know. Chairman Mom as lady macbeth what is the what is the line do you remember the line uh uh out out damn spot no no no that's um is that that's ophelia oh my god um that's ophelia is it not no it is lady macbeth thank you sorry thank you sorry no but i did um the one with the raven himself his horse yeah the raven himself his horse i think i don't think they would have gone they would have gone huh oh yeah oh no no no they would have been like oh um the full circle moment because the chicago audition um i had i bombed it so hard that i really wanted to pick me up and i got tickets to go see the second city in chicago and i had never seen that them were you funny in in college when you

were getting that theater degree did they did you do the comedy roles did you know you had that in you yes i always enjoyed the comedic plays and then at my school we did this thing where we had like main stage shows but then the crew after a run would do a spoof. So it was essentially like just for the students, a late night parody of the production. Yeah. And I would love those. And just so it was like my favorite thing to do. Sure.

And then we did like, you know, student events where people like put on performances. I always brought comedic characters, like, just for myself. And it was so enjoyable. But I never really clicked until I saw someone else do it professionally in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. You were international. Were you kind of like a class clown in all these, like, different schools?

Like, was that... Yeah, when you were growing up. The thing you never, like, utilized on? Well, I... The thing is that, like, at school, in, like, high school or middle school, I was very good at two shoes. And I was more class president. Like, I was just fully. Were you class president?

What year? Grade 12. Grade 12. What country? Seniors. Vietnam. Oh, my God. Was there any rebellion?

They said, she's not from here. She's Italian. Yeah. Did they try to run a coup on you or something yeah like a model united nations so you're 12 that's the same as our our seniors yeah yes and do you remember like why did you want to do it did you enjoy did you like to be bossy you like to give orders yes of Yes. I was very bossy and I was very like, come on, come on, like, come on guys. The teacher, come on.

It's like the, come on guys. She's talking. Were you the kid that reminded the teacher that there was homework? I mean, yeah. Cause I, I always did my homework. And they voted for you? Vietnam is different. I know.

Vietnam International School is different. Did you get any major legislation passed as your time in office? Yeah. My year, this is bad, but my year, the senior year that I was, was the last year of my high school. They allowed seniors to do a senior prank because they went so far over the line. Oh. They had to ban it. What was it?

Just a bunch of stuff. Like, it was a bunch of things. Some things were really funny that we had planned and I had made a spreadsheet for. And then some people went really rogue and, like, trashed. Wait, so the president planned the prank? Yeah, we, like, organized it. If, like, the president of the United States started a coup,

what were the ones that went over the line? Well, the principal's office got absolutely trashed. Like, they just trashed it. What? How bad are we talking here? We're breaking things? Just like throwing things around and like throwing like... That's not a prank.

That's an insurrection. I know. I started an insurrection. Listen to this. Here's the one that I thought was really funny. The one that was really funny was we switched all the element because it was like K to 12 my school, we switched all the elementary

school chairs with the we like switched people's chairs. Like high school big chairs, elementary school little chairs. How far were they? Just buildings next to each other? Yes. And we switched them all. That's a great prank. Thank you. And then they're like, now we've got to tear the system down. And now we've got to destroy

the Korean teacher's board. And yeah, so. And that wasn't on the spreadsheet, we got to tear the system down. And now we got to destroy the Korean teachers board. And yeah, so. So that wasn't on the spreadsheet. That was not on the spreadsheet. And so then a Facebook post was made by yours truly in the Facebook group being like, guys, we have to go and apologize. Like it was a big whole thing. Because the chair one, that's what I was thinking. I forget the ones that they did I was thinking. I forget.

The ones that they did at my school, like they did, they brought all the chairs out to the field. And it's like, well, it's funny. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. There was something with like bouncy balls and they threw them everywhere. But you can't just trash a place. I know. And do you remember how did the teacher come to you and go what the fuck what the fuck what were the repercussions laura you've been so good you reminded me of the three pop quizzes

yesterday what the fuck happened to my office uh no it was more it was not directed to me because it was the whole class it was more an email was sent scathing email was sent to the whole class and how did you make it up? Did you? We went, we all went and apologized. Some people didn't go, but most of us did. Yeah.

The real Patriots didn't apologize. Yeah, that's right. We're making a stand. You're right. And then senior prank was banned. So that's what, that was your presidency?

That's the legacy you left? That is my legacy that I left. Yes. Yes. Unfortunate. Red One. We're coming at you. So that's what, that was your presidency? That is my legacy that I left. Yes, yes. Unfortunate. Red One. We're coming at you. Is the movie event of the holiday season.

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Only in theaters November 15th. The faster money and data move, the further your business can go to a seamless digital future for Canadians. Let's go faster forward together. In life, interact. Was there any particular transition of where you had to move

that was more devastating than the rest in terms of leaving behind some friends? Or were you just always alone and ready to go did your did your mom sit you're down and say hey sweetheart uh we're moving again did you cry oh yeah yeah especially as i got a little older through late middle school and high school leaving the last place got harder and harder because you just get closer to your friends or whatever but yeah it was always really hard to move and it always took like three months at least to settle in also because i would move like not always but in the middle of a school year so then oh that's like a january and so then everyone is into a different country so there's no way like

the curriculum's like lining up. Well, the international school is a little different in that way. Because we went to international school, the curriculums are built for people to move in and out of. Oh, is it like a school? Like what is the governing body keeping them all on the same page i believe it's called the international baccalaureate okay um oh is that what ib is that's ib okay so we had ib classes would that be like for that specific purpose like international students

so i think international schools are ib and then schools that aren't international schools can have IB as like an added program. Right. Um, but it's for international schools. It's, it's, if I'm wrong, cancel me. Sure. Are made so that because people are literally move, leaving and coming every year. And so you kind of want the curriculum to be somewhat similar. So were there other kids in your grades who were living a similar life to you? Yes. So that's nice. It is. People understood.

Were you ever able to stay in touch with an old friend or did it start and it was like, oh, we're going to stay friends and then peter out? Most, but my closest friends from high school, one is Danish and one is Swedish, and they live in Denmark and Sweden, and I'm still in touch. We're very close. Did you ever say to your mom, please, you go leave me?

Yes. I said, I will stay with my friend. Okay, what country was that? That was before leaving China to vietnam i had finally china middle school was the worst everyone has a bad time i mean did you both have bad times in middle school oh yeah i thought you're gonna say you're middle school in china i was like oh i did mine in maryland i middle school was fine yeah i was weird but they they they let me do a musical in seventh grade and eighth grade and i've i found i have a friend it wasn't great what made it bad for you um you know when you um i think

girls at maybe in the seventh grade can get really i don't know what happens but i got kicked out of my friend group i like got every one day it was specifically told to me that i was not able to be there anymore wait okay so how many how many friends are in this group it's like four and and did they all take you aside or did one say hey yeah how did they put it no they just said because i think it's one of those things where you're like what are we doing today or like what you know the status quo and then i think um it was one of them who said yeah we're not gonna do that anymore um why what did you what did you do I think I was probably weird and annoying I think I was a very annoying person and also borrowed money to go buy snacks because my parents didn't let me have junk food and I

only had an allowance that I always used up in a day and so I borrowed money from my friends to go buy junk food after school and then lie to my parents about having eaten Snickers bars and so probably borrowed money and never gave it back oh no which is a good reason to kick me out of a friend group sure sure okay so your parents didn't like you to have sweets no because i always wonder because i i was given sweets as a kid but like i i have my own eating things and i always wonder if i had a kid i think because i was fed my especially at my single dad's house like i was fed fucking garbage right and i go like part of me is like caring right Right. Caring for a child is like, no, Snickers. Snickers?

This is poison. This fucking country, America, they, I don't know if Snickers comes from America, but it's garbage. But is that what your parents, that's what was their thinking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No junk food, sugar, bad. So that it'd be like the one box of cookies that would get bought then would get hidden because if i found it i would eat the whole thing sure so it didn't work ultimately didn't work and i got an eating disorder but i'm like all good now yeah all good that's the past

is the past um wow that's so funny that you went into debt from Snickers so bad that your friends had to drop you from their group. Yeah, that is, I don't think I've ever heard that. I just like how it started with like, you know how girls can be in middle school where you owe them thousands of dollars and they get upset about it? Hold on, you borrowed money you couldn't pay back? Girls, what are you going to do? You borrowed money you couldn't pay back. You started an insurrection. You're like the Donald Trump of international students, of class presidents. Don't say that. This is dodgy, dodgy resume.

Was there something exciting then about like when I went to high school, it was a different thing. My original school ended in eighth grade. So I feel like getting to move internationally, sometimes you could like okay start a new i'm no longer uh uh moochers take all your money eating snickers girl you get to reinvent yourself yeah did you ever when you went to a new school did you have that first moment of like i'm gonna be popular at this school oh i i 100 you start wearing, I started wearing blue eyeliner, like under my eyes. And that's it. That's it. No, but like, yeah, entering high school, especially a new school and it started, people were starting to drink and stuff. And I was like, starting to wrap my head around that.

And where was this? I know we keep having to place it, but especially with drinking. drinking i'm always i feel like drinking culture is so different around the world in high school so this was in vietnam and there were no nobody got id'd or anything so we would legitimately we would be like 16 and we would go out to the bar and club like for real um no one's carting no one's getting in trouble not at all not at all. Not at all. And we would then mingle. That would go real fast. Yeah. And then we would mingle with all the like Australian backpackers who were all like 26. Oh, no.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can imagine some problems emerging. Big issues. What is the drinking age in Vietnam? I don't know. I would guess 18. But they just didn't id yeah so no one got in trouble at school for like drinking you will know yeah no one would drink at school we would just go out on the weekends there'd be no need i mean we drank at school because it was like

where else are you going to do it with your friends at school or home we couldn't go to a bar you drank at school well so my, not as a matter of course, certainly kids were getting stoned, but we were allowed to leave campus. And it was in DC. And we were like, in the 80s, my high school was known as the drug school, where like teachers would smoke a joint with their students.

But like that faded, that faded, that faded. But then we did, we would do our strike of the theater shows and we would stay overnight and usually just not go to sleep and it was just uh what's the word uh uh bacallian bach bach oh bacchus oh bacchus but but bacallian bacallian i get what you mean yeah it was uh it was uh dionysian... Dionysian. Dionysian. It was people were getting drunk and getting high and people were making out. And it was thrilling.

And then I was part of this one year where like someone pulled the fire alarm and someone started an investigation. And suddenly all these theater kids who generally were pretty well behaved got in serious trouble. kids who generally were pretty well behaved got in serious trouble and looking back i honestly for me i think my kind of uh the first kind of betrayal from the system was getting like like getting in trouble somehow at a school where people there were weed dealers and i was like generally like i drank once or twice in my life and somehow like getting in huge trouble and somehow getting fucked when like the drug dealer was fine. That was like – it was just like – It was a wake-up call. In a privileged white American boy's life, that was an early time where I was like this system is broken. And, you know, good.

Yeah, we all got to learn it at some age. I have friends who still haven't learned it. I have friends who still haven't learned it. I have friends who still haven't learned it. If you had kids, would you go, this is not a good way to raise a kid, moving around? Or do you feel like I am, because I look at you and I go, you are a person of the world.

I go to Timbuktu and Laura says, you got to go to this breakfast place. It's amazing. What do you think? I do send you a lot of food. I'm very thankful. I think that although it was in the moment sometimes, you know, for a child, hard. And I always wanted to be from one place. I was like, why can I not just be from this like one small town where all, you know, just please. But I am

so grateful for my upbringing. Um, it taught me, you know, adaptability. It made me who I am. I'm, I appreciate it. And plus I have though made my own roots now, um, uh that's funny though because yeah i wouldn't not raise a kid like that um but now that i saying like obviously i have roots here maybe i would be in one place sure maybe yeah so your mom your mom what kind of work was it again she was a medical officer for the world health organization okay and your dad what did he do he was a freelance medical equipment consultant and that's how they met like through work through work yeah but your father also was in a comedy troupe yeah he went to theater school too now in italy is theater school in italy is it more clowning yes it was very classic clown yeah like what what is classic because i forgive i don't know what classic italian clown is like

yeah you know like the masks like arlecchino the happy mask like the old man mask no like the stock characters like have you ever heard of like capitano pul, Pulcinella, Arlecchino? I did once, one summer camp, someone was a mask guy. Right. And so, okay, they probably. There's always a mask guy. There's always a mask guy. He did one line, and this was in high school I heard this line, and I still say it to my

girlfriend, and she hates it when I do it, where he goes, he goes, let me count the ways that I love you. One, two, three. me count the ways that i love you one two three and so like like every every i remember it so well though and he did it in a mask and so whenever my girlfriend says say something nice to me i say let me i'll tell you all the things i love about you i didn't steal it but they all steal it's It's a tradition. It's different. Right. Was he the kind of person who said you cannot put on your mask in front of the audience? You have to.

Sounds like something he would say. Yeah, definitely. No. So sort of masks and like neutral mask and physical. Are they in the house? Are they hanging anywhere? Has he got a box? He gave me his neutral mask when I went to school.

He passed it down to you? Yes. So the neutral mask is just a box? He gave me his neutral mask when I went to school. He passed it down to you? Yes. So the neutral mask is just a guy? It's just a very kind of creepy looking just white mask with a normal nose. Okay. Can I tell you one thing about this mask guy? I've always wanted to. So this mask guy, he was cool.

I was in high school and he liked, he was interesting. So he, we had a class and at some point he did a headstand in the class whatever this was at a time where like acting and yoga seemed to really intersect i got into yoga extremely early because at the time it was like to be an actor we're going to start every day with sun salutations and and i had never i mean i was out of shape i never i wasn't athletic and every morning we'd do sun salutations and then we'd go faster and faster and then we'd do one slow and by the end, again, it's just, it's all out of breath sexual.

It's church of a different name. And we did this class and he did a headstand for some reason and he had a hole in his pants, like right at the ass. Like right at the ass like right at the ass okay and all of us saw it and we didn't no one said anything and then we went about our day and the next day he comes in and you know he had authority but this is back when a teacher could really shame you and he said so the class after you notified me that I had a hole by my ass. And I'm just curious why none of you would think to say anything to me.

And it was, I clearly remember because I felt shame about, I didn't have the strength to say to a person, hey, you're doing a headstand. Your ass is out. And none of of us none of us said a word wait can i just clarify is this person your age no it's a teacher oh that was your teacher oh well shame on him yeah why because how revealing himself to shame you yes yes in indecent exposure and also to shame you children for not speaking up about his sloppy ass. Also, check your fucking pants. Yeah, check your pants.

Nobody see the back. But check them before you put them on. Bro, if you're a headstand guy. Yeah, if you're a headstand guy. If you want to be Mr. Headstand Guy, check your fucking pants. Also, question. No underwear? Or underwear but very brief?

Brief, brief. It was a discussion that we had because we felt like, was it over the underwear? Did we see inside of him? We didn't know. It was right. It was right there. Are you saying like, did you see like actual skin of ass? We debated it.

We said, was that his skin? Was that underwear? We're all talking about it. That's why the second he's mentioned it, the next day we're all like, oh my God. I want to take this shame off your plate. This is not on you. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, this is not on you.

You can't reveal yourself to children and then make them feel bad. Correct. What an ass. My drama teacher one time, though, had a zipper down and did not have underwear. And then sat down and talked to us. Like, no one knew what to say. You saw cock and balls? Yeah. I did not have underwear and then sat down and talked to us. And like no one knew what to say. You saw cock and balls? Yeah.

I did not specifically. That's when tell me about it was like, did you see, I'm not going to say his name, but did you see like Mr. Jackson's blah, blah, blah? And I was like, what are you talking about? And it's like, yeah, his zipper was down. And it was just kind of.

Let me count the ways that that's inappropriate. One, two. It's a good. Did your dad, but he wasn't doing that when you were born. Let me count the ways that that's inappropriate. One, two. It's a good... Did your dad... But he wasn't doing that when you were born. It was all before. It was in his early 30s. Did he ever, like, when you were a baby or a little kid,

did he put on a mask? Yeah, I mean, he showed me my first ever sketch troupe. Aldo Giovanni Giacomo, like a famous Italian sketch trio. And we would just watch it and just absolutely laugh. He showed me Mr. Bean. He showed me Charlie Chaplin. And they were very, they influenced me a lot. Yeah.

Can you, do you think your dad is talented? Can you tell? Yes. I think my dad is a talented storyteller and very good at physicality. Yeah. Oh, that's so cool. Why did he stop? No money in it?

Well, yeah. yeah oh that's so cool why did he stop no money in it well yeah and also at the time i mean he grew up very um poor and he needed to work i mean there was no other choice um so your your father born in italy uh to a farmer and and was he a farmer too in his life um i mean he helped with the farm they were had a family farm and um he had to work on the farm but i know that he was sent to um like preschool they wanted him to become a priest but he got expelled for what well being just uh expelled in preschool priest oh preschool oh sorry i, preschool. Sorry, I was like, whoa. You thought it spelled from preschool? I was like, you're going to have to say badass. They're really stretched over there.

Whoa. Okay, yeah, yeah. That is so funny. Lines up better now. Priest. School. I speak one language and I'm barely holding on. Barely.

In Italy, I guess, is like becoming a priest. Do they want people to become priests for like, because, oh, we'll have a religious member of the family or is it like, it's a good living, they'll give you boarding and like it's career. It's career, yeah. Every town has a priest and you get to, well, you live at the church grounds

and it's a respected career. But do you get an income? Yes, you get an income from the state. Does the Catholic Church go, hey, don't covet? Give us that money. The state pays the priest or the Catholic Church? Is this Catholic Church associated? Catholic Church associated.

But the municipality also is involved. Can I just say that I don't want to lie or say anything wrong? Sure. So I'm just going to say, I think. Listen, if you think this is the worst thing that's been said on this podcast about the Catholic Church. I bet it isn't. No. So what did he get expelled for?

Being a bad kid. Just, they were so strict. Like they weren't allowed to like look around while eating. They had to like eat and focus. They would get allowed to look around while eating. They had to eat and focus. They would get physically abused. By the nuns? Yes, the nuns. With rulers?

Rulers, yes. My dad said he was hit with rulers by a nun. I believe it. Italian. Italian. Can I say that? I think, again, sometimes I'm like, is he Italian? Or are there just similar things?

His dad cheated a lot italian uh is that true that italians are are like we talk about georgia maloney georgia maloney the current prime minister right yes of italy she had a boyfriend not they weren't married but but they broke up because he wanted to open the relationship up and he cheated, but they broke up. Is that true about Italy? Is it more loosey-goosey? it's becoming generally more modern, but no, Italy is, I would say, as a whole, incredibly reserved and conservative, and especially family values. How did Giorgio Maloney get away with it? I mean, I guess it's the same with America,

where it's like the party of family values. It really is a wacky world. It's kind of crazy out there. Your dad, one thing, I don't know if it was in your character set, but is it about your dad with the airport? What was the thing where it was a competition about Italian dads? Oh, yes.

I do the Italian Dad Olympics, and the sketch is that today's event is getting ready for the airport. So he's, again, is your dad neurotic or is this an italian thing both i think are true italians are neurotic people and especially in my family yes about traveling the airport it is just like a huge thing my my aunt will put in separate plastic bags her different outfits for every single day and like plastic bags like not like plastic bags but like what do you say like like ziploc yes yes that's it yes sealed yes yes where does this come from because i i when i hear neuroses i i you know i think about my jewish side sure what is what is it italian neuroses how would you describe the way that your father's just he's just stressed all the time he's just angsty all the time and like just never he'll he has a

siesta he goes to he has a nap every single day after lunch but he's like running to the nap he's like i gotta finish eating i gotta go nap and i gotta go nap and then he gets up and he's like i gotta go do my next thing so So nothing is relaxed. Nothing is, like with him especially, just like on a schedule onto the next thing continuously. I've never heard about stressed out napping before. I know, I know. I would do that, but I can't sleep. Okay, so real quick before we go on to our next segment,

I just want to try to compare our fathers to see. So tell me some italian what are things about an italian dad and i want to i want to see if my dad has these things i want to i want to give my dad a rating okay um okay my dad italian dad specifically loves soup and will make himself a pot of soup however he will put down two bowls and dole out two portions of soup so that the one bowl cools down while he's eating the first one so that he can immediately switch to immediately eat the second one all right my dad no that's it he just he's just but the first bowl is hot so so clearly he's

able to eat the hot soup it's fighting through the first bowl that hot. So clearly he's able to eat the hot soup. It's fighting through the first bowl. That's crazy. It's a fight. Do it. Okay. My dad, he doesn't fly. So we lost the airport.

Oh, damn. What wears my dad all the time? He likes to wear suits. Slacks, yes. Never underdressed. My dad does a weird thing where it's suits on top of like... Now, do Italians wear... You know what we call these?

We're used to. What are they now? Now they're called ribbed tanks. But everyone... You get someone, a couple drinks of them, they go wife beaters, what they call it. Wife beaters. I would never.

Do they wear them in Italy though? Yes, they do wear them. But also they wear, my dad wears that version but like with sleeves under everything. With like a t-shirt. It's ribbed the whole way? Yeah, like over here.

Oh. Yeah. Does he have a gold necklace? No. He doesn't have a gold necklace. Is that Italian? It's more southern Italian. I mean the north is also very different from the south.

So he's north. He's north. Because my dad, he says we're Sicilian. But I truly don't know if that's a lie. And I don't think I ever will. I mean, your last name is Southern. It is? Yeah.

Okay. We were reached out by some person who says we're related. There was a pasta called Sarese Pasta. Oh. But I literally went to Italy after college and my dad said, we have family there. I said, okay.

I believe you because why would you lie about such a thing to your son who's about to go there? And I swear to God, I think he googled Sarese Sicily and there was some place called house of serezi and he was like that must be where they live oh no and so i get to sicily and i i call my dad i'm like so do we ever find out where they are and he's like

no i'm not sure where they are and i'm like like, well, I'm here in Sicily. But later on Instagram, someone reached out and they sent me a picture. My great grandfather, Luigi, who apparently was like a crooked boxing manager, was even portrayed in a movie. Whoa. Runs in the family. There's a couple pictures of him with none other than house of serice musolini and i said uh-oh how much more do i want to go and there's like 20 pictures of him and it looks very much like not like him and musolini uh playing. It's like whatever must have been the you're rich enough to take a picture,

whatever the fundraiser dinner was for Mussolini. It's tougher, I think. I don't know enough about history to be like everyone liked Mussolini at some point. I don't know enough about Mussolini. We all mess up.

We all. Is that the equivalent of if your great grandma had a picture with uh with the dolf i think there's some level of like you have to respect who this person so i don't i wouldn't necessarily say that they were on they were necessarily on the same side or agreed like this is as a german how do you how do you was do you go did you go back into your family history were you curious yeah how did it feel did Did you feel like, oh, were they there? I don't even know if this is, honestly, is it rude to ask a German, were your great-grandparents part of the Nazi party? I would say generally it's not something that people like to talk about.

Sure. I don't blame you. Of course. Sure. But I also just told you I have pictures of my great-grandfather You did We absolutely are For my family specifically My grandfather

Avoided the draft by moving to India That's nice I know You gotta look at that Good job Otherwise he absolutely would have had to.

Do you know, did he, did you know, did he leave because he said, this guy is no good or was he, really?

Yeah. God, that must have been a fucking relief. Yes. I feel like for Germans, like if you're doing like DNA tests,

that's just the only thing you're curious about. You get, you get an envelope back and one of them is red and you go, uh-oh. Oh, no. I was going to put this in the trash. That's a relief. Yeah.

Do Germans of your generation, of our generation, is that something they like look into or they go, I don't want to fucking know. I don't want to fucking know. Or they go, I don't want to fucking know. I don't want to fucking know. I will say, I mean, I never went to school in Germany. But what I do know is that the atrocities of that war are very much taught in school. People grow up understanding and being taught what happened. like an incredibly sensitive subject, but in a way that I think there is a great... I think people are being taught well about the history of the country.

Is it from the beginning? Is it like America, we start with this really nice version. And I'm like, what age did they go, okay, we're going to do, like what age do you tell Germans, hey, just so you know, the metaphor for evil is often ascribed to this one particular moment, and it's our history. Is it out the gate?

Is it from as in the the childhood i don't know really um but i assume yeah i mean i assume they start in school yeah yeah yeah yeah well that's as crazy as i was saying it i was like i was like is this like a thing you're not supposed to but if someone said to me like were your great-grandparents did they own slaves? I'd be like, no, they went to India before slaves got there. Let's go on to our next segment, This Has Gotta Stop. This Has Gotta Stop.

Hey, there we go. Hey, look at that. We're back. This Has Gotta Stop. Do you have something that needs to stop? I made a list. Fantastic. What do I start with? Let me see. I opened my calculator. Sorry. What do I start with? Let me see. I opened my calculator.

Sorry. Let me count the ways. One, two, three. Okay. I'm going to talk. I'm going to, this has got to stop. People who insist they don't have to hold the handrail or bar like on public transport. Sure.

You're just falling over. You're just correcting yourself every second step and then grabbing me and then i'm then also gonna fall over do you have a friend like this i'm sometimes that guy you're sometimes that guy you're like you think your core strength is so strong that you can withhold the lurching of a subway car. I always go like, okay, wide, keep it low. He does CrossFit. Come on. And sometimes I got it, but you're right. When it doesn't go wrong, you're affecting everyone around you.

You could really hurt somebody. This could be really bad. And you always think that you're going to grab the bar but you one day you won't and call me and let me know how many times that happened who's fallen over they're grabbing you you've been grabbed recently you go well just like my friends you know they're like the like they'll won't they won't hold a thing and then all of a sudden we're like doing this and then they're they're doing my my girlfriend will sometimes Get up From the chair

And she's not She's Love my girlfriend Not Not the most graceful person In the world And sometimes she will start Getting up like

Right as the train's Doing that thing And I go I go Why did you Why right then The worst time For you to be halfway

Between up and down Yeah So I get that Another You got another one Me too Tell us Why right then? The worst time for you to be halfway between up and down. Yeah. So I get that. Another, you got another one? I do. Tell us. Okay.

This has got to stop. Using mason jars is Tupperware. What? This one's okay. Whoa. This one's a real cultural. Jesus. Because I love a good mason jar. Okay.

But are you putting like a full seven ingredient salad in a mason jar and absolutely stuffing it and then pretending like you're gonna put dressing in there and it's gonna touch every single leaf how are you getting the fork in the little thing and then getting the leaves out you're yes 100 if you're gonna do it you gotta pre-mix it before okay because we have those there's there's like you know the food in amer is so shitty, but there's one company that gives you like a mason jar of a salad. And the chicken's at the bottom. And in order to get the chicken, you're going deep. You're spilling lettuce everywhere.

I agree with that. Come on. The chicken's a treat at the bottom. But it's so true. Well, you start with all lettuce and then you get the whole chicken at the end. And also, God forbid, You have two mason jars In your canvas tote And they're like

Click click click click Like I It makes me Irate Uh huh I'm holding the bag of mason jars While I'm not holding on to the bar

Oh my god I hate you I hate you Do you have any more on your list? I do but you go Do you have one? Yeah I any more on your list? I do, but you go. Do you have one? Yeah, I do. What's your best kind of style?

You know, I don't like golden doodles. What kind of doodles? I'm done with golden doodles. Golden doodles. Is that a dog? You don't know what a golden doodle is? New York hasn't been affected by this? Every YouTuber family has a golden doodle.

People can't just have the dog it like becomes this like cult following of the like my pants which if you have eyes so of course my parents have a golden doodle you can see that and like this dog has gentrified my dad like my dad like sold cars and like drugs in the 80s and he gets this dog and now this is what will happen he gets like drunk and he'll be like lecturing me on like how men are like getting soft in america but he's doing all of this while wearing a shirt that says golden doodle dad oh my god has ruined him and they've committed both of them they're terrible they've committed so hard to this dog they They have all the merch.

They have the shirts. The merch. They have mugs that say, world's greatest golden doodle. They got a fucking painting done of her. Do you know how much you have to love something to commission a portrait? I mean, that's a cute dog. I get it. No, it's not.

I have one picture in a corner somewhere of a basketball game I lost. This dog has a portrait, a painted... You have a picture in some corner of a basketball game you lost? Yes. Yeah, what is that? What do you mean? It was like the least that they lost

by the whole season. We need to commemorate this. So you're saying that that's all you have from your parents? No, there's other photos. I'm definitely exaggerating for some comedic effect. Right, that's what we do.

I'll tell you what I don't have is a fucking portrait. Right. Which I wouldn't want one. Of course. Also, the dogs shouldn't have one either. No, you're right. You're right.

And every golden noodle person acts. And they're like, this dog is hypoallergenic. And it's not. Apparently, that's fake. Apparently, dogs cannot be hypoallergenic. And it's not. Apparently, that's fake. Apparently, dogs cannot be hypoallergenic. Say it in French. Yeah.

Sure. That sounds right to me. Okay. Might this got to stop? It's going to be a little past when this comes out. But it's still part of what's going on right now. I don't know if you saw Joker 2. I guess it's a musical.

You know the movie joker oh yeah sorry a joke or two i thought you said oh joker 2 yeah i got a joker 2 about but joker 2 there was like this weird thing where uh they were insisting it wasn't a musical even though it sounds like they're singing it yeah and the songs come out of the scenes not being enough to capture their emotions a musical and apparently this has been a thing there's some other movie coming out I think a Marvel movie about the witch purple

witch I don't give a shit but they said like it's not a musical there's just songs that kind of and I go guys we can only do this for so long. We either need a new word for musicals, but as a musical lover, my hope is that we are getting back to it being okay to like musicals.

There is a corny, there's a corniness that's obviously associated with musical theater that needs to be shed somehow. And we need to reintroduce this into the public consciousness in a way that, for example, as it was back in the day, a musical theater song could be a hit radio song. Barbra Streisand used to be on the radio singing Funny Girl,

singing Don't Rain on My Parade from Funny Girl. They used to make disco versions of a Stephen Sondheim song that Liza Minnelli sang, and they played it in the clubs. We got to get back there. Did they do that with Hamilton? They tried. It did not. It definitely, with all the things that blew up from Hamilton,

believe me, I was the first to listen to the Sia remix with Ludacris on it. Whoa. It was, yeah. It's tough, but that's the problem. Hamilton wasn't, Hamilton. It's tough. But that's the problem. Hamilton wasn't, Hamilton was too corny. With Lin-Manuel, and listen, I think he's very talented.

But he's just not the one. He's not going to make that leap. Right. He's not making that leap. I think where the leap has to be made is on the other end. Joker 2. The Marvel fucking movie. And you got to call it a musical. And I think we need to to tell people oh did you see the musical oh you saw joker don't call joker 2

call joker the musical with an exclamation point joker the musical like hello dolly really force people to confront what it is they're enjoying so we So we can open this back up again. They didn't do that with Mean Girls that came out too. They hid the musical part of that. Which is crazy. That was a bold choice. You know what's not going to get people in a musical theater? Tricking them in a musical theater.

And listen, I know it's tough. I know it's tough. I'm still trying to get my girlfriend in a musical theater and it's not easy. But you find it. You find the thing that clicks. I don't know if it's going to make'm still trying to get my girlfriend in musical theater, and it's not easy. But you find it. You find the thing that clicks. I don't know if it's going to make it to radio, though. That's just tough. I feel like that era.

What do you want? Like the Skrillex remix of I Dream a Dream? How do we connect these dots? You start with Lady Gaga. And Lady Gaga, she sings some songs that are kind of new songs of hers, but then one's just a little bit more of a story. And then before you know it, people are on the radio, and you go, hey, do you notice that the singer of that song

has an objective, and that they want something, and that they grow at the end of the song? That's a musical. That's a musical. Let's go on to our final segment. Your blessing. Your blessing. That was the end of You Better Count Your Blessings.

Beautiful. Promise me you'll keep it in there. Keep all the tech in there. I love it. Honestly, I have a job for you at JFL. This has been a great studio. An extra shout out to Toronto Podcast Studios. Please, please keep all our beautiful tech in.

It's my favorite part of the show. Check this out if you're a comedian visiting Toronto. Toronto. Toronto Podcast Studios. What's it? What's the website? Toronto podcast.ca. Check it out.

Beautiful SEO. Um, enjoy the Patreon, patreon.com slash downside. Now we go, we say something we're thankful for. Uh, what's, what's something specific that you're,

uh, you're feeling good about? I'm feeling so thankful for, um, I did my, I'm on tour right now and I did my show last night here in Toronto had my big Toronto show and I came up in comedy here I started here and last night was like probably one of the most special nights of my life because it was a full circle moment of doing my show in this like at the Danforth Music Hall which is like this iconic

it's like I can only dream of having done that and it feels like a really big moment for me and I'm so grateful for all the people who support me and who came last night very cool very cool did you do you ever see a show there before in your past? I actually had never seen a show there before. But it is, they do all sorts of music stuff there. Yeah. Stand up. What a flex. First time there, you are the show.

Good for you. Yeah, there you go. But comedians have the thing where they're like, I dreamed of performing Madison Square Garden. And I go, that's too big. It's too big for it to be like good for stand up. What's your, like, I'll tell you the only dream that I have right now, and it's kind of stupid because I've just seen the outside,

but I go Sydney Opera House. Right. That'd be cool. I mean, it's beautiful. But that's about it. Yeah. Any other dream venues? Massey Hall.

Where's that? Here in Toronto as well. Okay. Yeah. It's like really old, right? It's like a century old. It's old. I don't know how old it is, but it's like really beautiful inside.

And so like a really magical space. Ty, what is your blessing? I think my blessing, coming to Canada and Toronto for the first time has revealed to me how it's very progressive. I don't know much about Canada in general and I'm learning about this

and it makes me feel bad to go back because of how far behind we're still trying to figure out. Which part's about progressive? Did you get an abortion yesterday? Which aspects? The fact that you guys are already on euthanasia. I can't get over this. Listen, America has euthanasia.

They don't give you health care. It's just a more delayed form of euthanasia. That is true. Or you give a 15-year-old an AR-15. That's all your options in America. That's it. America really does have it covered. It's crazy. Canada

is so put together. There's problems. I've been to Europe and it was the same kind of epiphany. It's just crazy that you're like, you guys are right there. Like Buffalo. Does America have anything better? Because I travel and I feel the same way i go america's a fucking piece of shit is there anything about america that you go well well well guys america has this

i mean everyone works in america like in entertainment anyway but that's it um yeah i mean also can Canada's so big and so vast that you could go through the whole thing and not see anybody for miles. But I feel like America's more concentrated. I don't know if that's a positive. Yeah, that's the compliment. It's really crowded there, though.

A lot of the barrel compliments on America here. Let me just say this about Canada, though. I remember when I first was here in Toronto, I'm pretty sure my first time ever here, and I remember it was post-COVID, and there was a truck with their version of what a Confederate flag would be,

but it was like a bunch of flags that said, fuck Trudeau, fuck the vaccine, and I just remember thinking, oh, thank God, it's all so fucked up here, too. It's different. Maybe they were just anti-vaccine but they were uh maybe they weren't racist and that's nice as opposed to us it all seems to go together but that's the weird that's the weird thing about politics in other countries

like sometimes like i don't know if euthanasia is liberal per se or that's pretty liberal that is a very open-minded idea to go like you should have control and ownership of your body to the point of deciding like i like i'm just not i don't want to really contribute to this anymore that was your blessing for this show is the ability to to end your own life it wasn't okay but no first of all it wasn't euthanasia but it was just canada in general sure i'm so happy you feel that way. It is really nice here. My blessing, because I want to come back

and I want to get a free class. Sweat and Tonic. Have you been there? I have not, but I know. Is this part of the CrossFit thing? No, it's a different studio. I'm not giving that studio anything more. They got a free shootout of me. When he did that, here's what else. he did that i'm i'm frazzled i'm i'm like going crazy inside my head i'm like what

what happened and if i if i try to put on headphones for music then he asked me a question i have to go put the bar back what was that i asked you if if a weight got turned into a setup to a punch line what color would it be and i go and i look and i look at the weight that he was doing that swooping thing one of the weights was almost falling off to the side so i was doing it wobbly he's a fucking trainer he should have said hey hey buddy this video that i'm taking i noticed you're about to fucking injure yourself. God damn it. I was so mad. But sweat and tonic was glorious. Yoga with assigned mats. Blocks that were numbered so it was right by your mat.

Free towels, free mats. A beautiful smoothie. You could get, I think you could get oysters. It was crazy. You don't understand America. You go to a place in America, it's garbage. They charge you. They charge you every step you take. They go to a place in America it's garbage. They charge you every step you take. They say you took

five steps, that's $20 more. It's beautiful and I really and blessing of course Toronto 11 shows incredible. Yeah. I think I'm going to come back here. The flight is so nothing. Did you do Toronto City?

I don't even know. What is that? Like, did you fly to the big international airport or did you fly to the city airport? I think international. Okay, next time, I don't know if you'll like this, but you'll have to fly out of Newark. Newark? Newark. Yes, with Porter Airlines.

And you fly from Newark to Toronto City and you're downtown. Okay. And it's an hour and a Toronto City in your downtown. Okay. Fuck, I wish we did that. And it's an hour and a half. All right. All right. Newark isn't. I know.

It's the last choice. I know. But I'll check it out. Please. Please. So where can people find you? People can find me on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube under lau underscore remoso or laurarimoso.com

and I'm on tour right now North America, east to west and if you're in Fort Lauderdale or Nashville tell somebody that I'm coming. I have family there. Please do. Otherwise I'm so excited.

Ty, where can people find you uh same thing just uh ty colgate on everything ty colgate just like the toothpaste excellent and and uh you know where to find me guys but join the patreon patreon.com slash downside russell and i are now doing two bonus patreon episodes every month and we're we're we just released, we did release footage from our live tour and Toronto. Be on the lookout because I think I wrote all the reps this morning. I said

I would really love to do a live downside here soon and maybe some more one-nighters in places of Canada I've never been before. And, you know, let's just make this our home. But, you know, sadly we do have to wrap it up because our the venue is a couple blocks away

and with Toronto traffic it is going to take three and a half motherfucking hours this is The Downside Downside Downside

You're listening to The Downside The Downside with Gianmarco Cerezi