The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #235 Two Ball Seats (Patreon Excerpt)

Episode Date: October 5, 2024

In the excerpt of this Patreon exclusive episode, Gianmarco and Russell share the downsides of how Rent the musical has aged, and recall their first loves in childhood. Join the Patreon to hear the full episode including more downsides on getting dragged on Twitter, calling your parents, and putting down your dog. You can watch a video clip of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's Earth, Wind and Fire, but I'm saying, um, you know how sometimes people will post it being on that day on September 21st. Yeah. But there's a guy who makes videos where like, he's like every year he releases him doing that song, but it's like very elaborate. It's like, it's incredible feet. Oh, I don't know. But it's like very elaborate. It's like this incredible feat. Oh, I don't know. I don't know that guy.

I would go for it. There's such little to enjoy in this world right now. It makes me think that a way to get a hit song would maybe just talk about a date, you know, like do a whole music catalog of dates. So be like, it is 9-11 September 11th I didn't forget

9-11 Don't forget. I won't. I won't. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that date needs one. It's more about like innocuous dates. You know, like September 21st. Do you remember the 21st? Like it's like it's like it's a you know or like oh wait

is that the end of summer though is that why that that song is created like that is september 21st the end of summer is that what it is i don't know that's what i'm asking it definitely feels like it feels like we we clicked into the end of summer what i think what's smart is phone numbers, like 867-5309. You know that number? Yeah. That's all. I do shows where I do a punchline with that, and there's some times where the audience does not get it, and I go, oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Because they're too young? Mm-hmm. Oof. But then that phone number will sell online. Whoever gets that number randomly then gets to sell it for $60,000. Wow. Because it would be nice unless it leaked,

but it would be nice if you were saying to someone, hey, give me a call. Oh, let me get a pen. No, no, no need. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9. Yeah. What other, okay, can you, all the dates. What are the dates ones?

There's, I'm trying to think of other songs that have dates. There's a green day song take me back when september ends oh i don't know that one i got the lyrics wrong yeah but it's something like that july 4th christmas is there another just random day uh i'm december 24th 9 p.m eastern all right let's can we go can we have a competition okay i want to have a competition with that song let's keep going okay see who doesn't remember first okay ready december 24th 9 p.m eastern standard time from here on in i shoot without a script see if anything comes of it instead of that old shit.

First shot, Roger. Okay, yeah. Tuning the Fender guitar he hasn't played in a year. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. You're the rent head. Let's do that with every rent song.

Okay. Will I lose my dignity? That's too slow. Let's do... Jesus. Oh, I know the song. The one with Angel.

Which one? Oh my God. All right. I want to find the first line. Today for you, tomorrow for me. Today for you, tomorrow for me. But then the fast part. I don't know any of that. This Nikita Evita just wouldn't shut up.

I said, I never liked angel. You never liked angel. It's kind of annoying. I don't know if you can say that. I mean, everyone in rent is kind of annoying, you know?

I don't know. I felt like there at a certain point, I didn't like the songs of angels that much and I never was moved when they died. I wasn't. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I wasn't. You thought they had it coming?

No, but I, I just didn't feel anything. I didn't feel anything when Mimi died either. Even when he goes, Mimi, well, she goes back to life.

I don't know. I mean, that's, that's even, even like, I remember when I was more of like a believer and nice things, but when Mimi came back to life and was like, and I saw you and you were moving, I, like, I remember when I was more of like a believer in nice things. But when Mimi came back to life and was like, and I saw you and you were mooing. I'm like, now you've lost.

The musical's dead. Oh, yeah. Just die. See, I feel like I was most moved at when they all sang Will I Lose My Dignity. That's a beautiful song. Yeah. Okay. How about this one?

The fight. The fight. Oh, after the funeral, after Angel's funeral, there's a big fight. Between who? All of them. It's like the big fight. Oh, after the funeral, after Angel's funeral, there's a big fight. Between who? All of them. It's like the big fight. Okay, I'm just going to pull it up. So you need to talk while I look it up.

When did you first see Rent? I saw it. Oh, God. I saw it in high school. In Broadway? On Broadway. My mom took me. And I was always like, I really struggle when people are singing at the same time

and i like i lose track i just lose track i don't know what's happening yeah and i said to my mom i didn't i somehow got through the first act of rent and didn't hear that aids was part of it oh my god and my mom was like no no he has aids that. That's why. And I was like, oh. And I just wasn't good enough at hearing it. Maybe eighth grade. I saw that. I saw Spring Awakening. But Rent, it was cool. It was fun.

I saw it when I was like 12 or 13 when it was like the 90s still. You know? I saw it. Yeah. And I had a cousin who also has my name who took me and he was a little older he is older than me um but he works that works in the city he had like a nice suite we stayed in a nice like suite in in in midtown and um and he took me and it was just funny to be with an adult I think he's more conservative. Really?

But he was so sweet to take me to this and be like, I just remember him being like kind of shocked, being like, oh, whoa. You know, there's an orgy and there's things. Oh, we could do that song. Hot, hot, sweat, sweat, sweet. I don't remember that one. Wet, wet, wet. Wait, okay.

Let me look up. Wait, that is, that is, uh, what? I don't remember that one. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wait. Okay. Let me look up. Wait. No, that is, that is, uh, what that, that's the one that like, I think we did it in college, but that's, it starts with that. And then it goes into AIDS. It really goes, I'm pretty sure it goes like from that song. They're all under a condom too, right? They were all kind of like under a condom.

Yeah. I think the idea being like, they, they, they need to put the condom around, not be under it. I think so. Wait, I want to find this goddamn song. I should tell you. I should tell you. I would do.

No. Okay, here's my reality show. Another time. Another place. That one. Okay. Yeah. Ooh.

Okay. That's what we'll do. You be Roger. I'll be. I only know what I just did. I don't think I know anything else. Okay. Okay. Fuck, damn it.

I know it's... I think we need to give up on this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Just keep... Okay, Halloween, I found the song. This is the confrontation song. I don't know Halloween.

I would have skipped these ones when I was listening, I think. Okay. You know? What's another song I mean realm was so special and it's one of those things sometimes the most special thing it's going to become dated so quick

and that's just that's just art baby yeah what are you going to do I mean yeah you're right at the time what they were saying and talking about and the fact that they were swearing and talking about sex that's kind of crazy for musical theater at the time. You know, I wonder if there were people in that scene at the time where we're like,

there's a million good shows that didn't make it, you know, that were, that were, but can you imagine? I'm not, you know that he died. He had Mar fans.

Did he? This is the thing that Liam knows my opener. Cause he has Mar fans. I didn't know that. He had some degree of Mar fans. I don't know if degree is the correct term, but something happened with his heart and there's a

very specific way you're supposed to handle it that they didn't because they didn't know he had Marf fans or like the doctor doing it. And if they had known, it might have lived. Yeah. But I cannot imagine what, first of all, when you're growing up, part of you're like, oh, he must have died of AIDS.

Clearly. That's what I thought growing up um but the idea that dying before it opened dying before you also like how much of an impact did that have on like the whole story of it you know sure but not to not to take away no no not to take away from the thing but I do think there's like that is like a wild kind of you know I've talked about where so adina menzel that was her first breakout role and then renee i forget her name now renee sherry renee sherry renee scott replaced her and she has this thing in her monologue where she goes moo with me moo and adina was so popular and this is back where people like went viral like in an organic way it wasn't just on instagram and uh sherry renee sc Scott was so hated, I guess, by some people

that when she said, moo with me, people go, boo. Oh, no. Boo. Why? Yeah. You only booed when Angel sang and said, I have AIDS. You said, boo. No, wait.

What's up? Idina Menzel played what? What part? Isn't that Maureen? Maureen, yeah. The Tango Maureen. No, wait, what's up? Idina Menzel played what? What part? Maureen. Yeah. The Tango Maureen. That's the worst song in it, but go.

Remember the butt? What's the butt? She shows her butt. She shows her butt. I remember that. I remember. She moons. She moons. I remember Lea Michele showing her boob.

I'll tell you that. In what? Spring Awakening. Oh, I don't remember that. I didn't see it. Yeah. She showed a boob in the original one remember that. I didn't see it. Yeah. She showed a boob in the original one. One?

I'm pretty sure it was one. We. Maybe the seats weren't good enough. Can you imagine if that's how they build the seats? They're like, this is obstructed view. What's there? Is there a pillar? Negative.

You want two tips. You got to pay. You got a two tip view. You got to pay premium prices. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. You want to see Daniel Radcliffe's dick in Equus or whatever that horse play was.

I saw Equus in London and I saw his dick. Wow. Just one ball. We couldn't afford it. Yeah. Two ball seats. Two ball seats. Two ball seats.

Two ball seats. Straight on. He was one of those where like he was super jacked. Yeah. And it was like, when did the crazy horse guy go to the gym that's the same as curious incident when i saw that i was so mad oh my god i think i know what you're talking about running around with this six-pack abs and the actor was so good is what really made me mad is i was like oh you had you're a great actor but you had to go to the gym six times a week

you know what i mean it was they already look like that well then keep their shirt on we don't need to see a like teenage boy take his shirt off you know what i mean like when i when i had the callback for the general electric commercial which i know that's why most people listen to this podcast to begin with yeah uh the whole premise was you can't pick up the hammer can you oh right Oh, right. And I was like, I made sure for that callback to wear a long sleeve shirt because I was like, surely they'll see these arms. No one's going to buy that. He can't pick up the hammer. Holy shit.

That guy. That guy. Pick up my dad. Hold on here. Can't pick up a hammer. Oh, man. What a crazy. What a lucky fucking thing that I had that man. When's the first time you fell in love?

Well, what do you consider when you're a kid? Like, is that love? That's love, yeah. I mean, I think right now what I'm doing is I'm invalidating. I'm going like, well, that's second grade. That doesn't count. It does count. It doesn't count, though. I was in. I think right now what I'm doing is I'm invalidating. I'm going like, well, that's second grade. That doesn't count. It does count. It doesn't count, though.

I was in. I think it counts. Don't you look back on Sunday's Love and you go, I was in lust? I don't know. I feel like, was I in lust in pre-K? I didn't have the things, the juices flowing. But I wasn't in love. I was in love.

Okay. Her name was Caroline. Okay. Tell me about her. I want to tell about like in a real, I want to be like long flowing, absolutely no hips at all. Not, not, has that not become an adult in any way, shape or form. Any way she performed. No, she had long red hair.

Very, again, it wasn't a conservative private school, but she definitely came from like, she was dressing in a way that a Catholic school would have been okay with. And I don't know why. I don't know why very pale skinned tall maybe it was like someone I make eye contact with or something but ultimately I think just like

I really don't know there hasn't been like yeah there hasn't been like a pattern like I'm only into kindergartners got it yeah Oh, I'm only into kindergarteners. Got it. Yeah. It's a pattern that's emerging here. I don't know what it is.

And this is the girl that I brought to the Spice Girls concert. Wow. So it lasted. I mean, when you said that, you're like, Spice, so it must have lasted. Spice, wow. I mean, that means nothing about how long it lasted all i know is that like i this was when my dad my dad was dating um my sister's mom and so they were like dating and it was fun it was like a period of nice that i remember yeah um and he was going to take me to the spice fields concert he said i could bring a friend i asked her and i think like her parents were were like what we have to what why does this boy want to hang out with you and we were so young it wasn't even first of all it's not kindergarten

it was it was second grade wow okay it was second grade and so like i think her parents second grade. And so like, I think her parents, it wasn't even like, what are you going to do with my daughter? It was one of the things where I was like, well, you're so young. It probably doesn't matter, but it's a concert.

It's a concert. And there's still like the gender rules of it all, like made it seem inappropriate. Yeah. In some capacity. And it was like a date or whatever. But again, there's part of it that's like,

who cares? Yeah. Now I cannot imagine these parents meeting my father yeah who was who was more normal then but like but still he's the single dad wearing the t-shirt with a leather jacket and like good looking in a way that's like what do you you're single and yeah and then like his girlfriend who was probably like younger made up up, tits out. And so it was all stressful. But they said, yes, I don't know how.

I don't know how we got this done. But so we went and the rule was she had to be home by 10. Oh, right. She had to be home by 10. And so we go there. We're there right on time, 8 p.m. for the concert start. No Spice Girls. And then it's just like it's getting later. It's getting later. Suddenly it's time 8 p.m for the concert start no no spice girls and then it's just like it's getting later yeah it's getting later suddenly it's like 9 p.m and i start i start

getting nervous i'm like well we're gonna have to leave yeah before the show's done and like trying to negotiate like with my dad like could we could we call them and i don't even know i guess we had cell phones maybe i would have been like have your have your girlfriend take this one home and we're staying dad sure sure i'm sure looking back i'm sure my dad wasn't like we got to figure out a way to stay at the spice girls concert everyone he's like well i did my best everyone there was doing me a favor yeah my dad was just like yeah you had to just like You gotta be nice when they're gay You had to know that the Spice Girls

Were gonna start a little late I was in second grade I had no idea I didn't know these facts And so we're sitting We're like It's not even in seats We're like in the lawn area

And sure enough it got to like It got late And they came on and i mean they probably did two and a half songs and we had to go yeah and i started crying i started crying and um did not get laid that night i'll tell you that no one wants to cry baby i like the spice girls too when i was young but like i can't imagine for everyone there, what a nightmare. For this girl, we were

dating, we had a crush or whatever, and then I'm crying. I'm looking at a perspective of your dad's girlfriend. It's just like, Jesus Christ. Also probably wanted to see the Spice Girls maybe too and was like, what the fuck are we doing here? What are we doing here? What are we doing here?

What are we doing with these kids ruining our night? You know? Um, so that was, and then she, she, I always think this is funny because like, when you cried,

no, well, again, we weren't like dating, but at some point she started flirting. This other guy started flirting with her name, Steven, who is now a gay opera singer.

And I think what's funny, what's funny about it all. And like, I have no idea who she's married to now. I'm sure married, sure. Kids just based on like, just based on her, who she wasn't. But we knew each other at least all the way through eighth grade, I think. And we certainly weren't friends. Maybe she left after fifth grade to go to like a Catholic school. Oh.

But I think what's so funny is like the guy that she left me for was also like, he was like, at the time I thought of him as like nerdy, but like looking back, you're like, no, you're gay. And I'm flamboyant. And like, whatever she was, I would love to meet her because part of me is like, is he flamboyant?

Did you have this taste all the way back in second grade? Like something about a fruity guy? Yeah. And it's just the idea that she left me. And there was another woman in a musical theater camp who she was with a guy and left him for me at the camp. And his name is Darren Bluestone. He does comedy and he's gay. He's a stunning gay guy.

He's very just fun. And there's just women in my life who, if you look at their trajectory, it's a mix of me's and guys who ended up being gay. There's three that come to mind. There's three. And thank God bless those women. God bless those women

for taking the risk that I could have been gay. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from the Patreon. We do two every month. And if you want to see the rest, there's more. There's probably a full episode. And it gets juicy

later on. It gets juicy. Someone might show a hole. And that's when we say the things we really think. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah we go well no one's gonna hear this on the patreon but you know what you could you could hear it good yeah patreon.com slash downside you get two bonus patreon episodes every month you get access to my uh my comedy special the rats are in me who gives a shit about that though it's about the new patreons where we record and release really back to back so So we get into the weeds. We get topical.

Yeah. Whatever Trump said that day, we're repeating it again and again. Yeah. And patreon.com slash downside. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you. Or watching. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi.