The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #236 Weird Dads Are Maybe My Kink with Busy Philipps

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Actress Busy Philipps graces us with her presence to share the downsides of never forgetting 9/11, an audience member singing 'Happy Birthday' in the middle of Gianmarco's set, how capitalism flipped the script on abortion rights, and why NYC is a better place to raise your kids than LA. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Busy on Instagram Watch Girls5eva on Netflix Watch Busy This Week on QVC+ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram Sources on the history of abortion rights discussed in this episode: https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2022/05/10/abortion-history-right-white-evangelical-1970s-00031480 https://www.npr.org/2022/06/22/1106863232/evangelicals-didnt-always-play-such-a-big-role-in-the-fight-to-limit-abortion-ac https://digitalcollections-baylor.quartexcollections.com/Documents/Detail/resolution-on-abortion-from-the-american-baptist-convention/809704 https://www.sbc.net/resource-library/resolutions/resolution-on-abortion-2/ https://www.christianitytoday.com/1968/11/protestant-affirmation-on-control-of-human-reproduction/ E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Red One... We're coming at you. ...is the movie event of the holiday season. Santa Claus has been kidnapped? You're gonna help us find him. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. Is that Naughty Lister? Naughty Lister?

Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen! Chris Evans. I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas. I'm not gonna say that. Say it. Alright.

Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. Your dad's a vibe, right? You have like a dad that's a vibe. I just met him. Yeah, Russell just met my dad. It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but it was too. He does have a vibe.

For sure. You know, when your friends meet your parents, they're never, you want to hey just so you know this isn't the full thing you're you're not you're you don't understand you're not seeing what i saw yeah uh and that's what it felt like because russell was like you're being a little bit chilly and i was like okay yeah you haven't lived with yeah yeah yeah that's fair but it felt felt felt like he was trying and you would shut him down. But, you know, that was, he was half an hour late for. He was, okay, he was half an hour late. That's wild.

Uh-huh. My mom was also half an hour late to pick me up for surgery once. Oh my God. You know, but she had to go to Costco, so. So my dad, he texted me And he's, to be clear This has never happened before He texted, he said Can you and your sister make some time today?

I'd like to have a moment of silence For the victims of 9-11 With him? With him on the phone I'm sorry We've never Commemorated? You've never come out as a family? She said 23rd anniversary.

We better get on it. We better do 23 minutes of silence to make up for all the ones that we missed. Oh my God. And then he said. Does he have any deep ties? His step-grandfather lived here. No, that's. You can't just know someone who lives in New York.

No, I think it's like, it's like, you know know, sometimes it's like you feel sadness, you're depressed, and here's an event where everyone, we can all feel sad together. Let's use it as a vehicle for our own feelings. Sure. It's a tradition. Well, it will be now. Yeah. Did you guys make some time?

Are you going to make some time? So then he's in a second text and it's to 10 numbers three of which are family the other seven i don't know oh no yeah and he made a conference line with the dial-in number so we can all dial in to have a moment for 9-11 at 12 30 wait can we do it can we join we could join right we could join right at the tail end right at the tail end of this thing. I think we're joining. I'm setting up.

Will you add me? Add me to the link? Add me to the call. Hey, guys. Busy Phyllis will be joining us for this moment of silence. Wow. That's really something. That's really something.

I got to say, I, this, yes, I know this is October, but this is actually technically September 11th right now. Yeah, we have the calendar here to let people know the truth. Okay. I need them to know the truth. But I thought it was interesting that all weekend, I didn't realize that they have the lights up all weekend for September 11th. And then yesterday or the day before, there were lots of fireworks on the like down near in. And I was just like, first of all, that seems very. I don't know what's going.

I don't understand the I don't understand what's happening. Well, Russell has a friend. It took him a long time before he'd be willing to share it on the podcast. They so, you know, people online that it's a weird day. And I don't go on Facebook a lot anymore, but I generally I go on once at least once a year from this day. Because it's mainly just people in Facebook being like telling where they were, but then no real connection to what happened. It's just them saying like, this is where I was when I found out. And you're like, OK. And it's been over 20 years now of people doing that.

But anyways, there's this one person I know from growing up. And every year she posts this same story. She posts this story about finding out she was in her government class. Her government teacher got a phone call. And while this is all happening, they put together that his daughter works in the trade, in the world trade center. And so she remembers that she shares it every year and every year I'm like, we don't get follow-up of what happened to this guy's daughter. Like, wait, what?

That's not a part of the story. No, she just says that she remembers the guy getting the phone call and, and running out of the room, being really scared. And she's seeing an adult go through that, you know. But she never gives the follow-up of like, and his daughter was okay or tragically blah, blah, blah. So every year it's like, what is this story that we want to know the answer?

And I don't know this person well enough to be like, hey. So finally, last year someone was like, hey, whatever happened to that government teacher's daughter? And she wrote um because i was watching all day i was like refreshing like is she gonna respond to this and then um she she wrote actually i don't know what what every year every year i gotta tell you something doesn't ring true doesn't ring she knows that girl's the woman survived because you would know you would know if your government teacher lost a daughter.

Did you ever see the government teacher again? Was he there the next day? I don't know. But like, also, I just think the whole thing is maybe misremembered. True. I mean, yes. Do you know what I mean? Like, maybe it wasn't.

I don't know because I just feel like that doesn't, if that happened, I'm very far removed from high school at this point in my life. I would remember every detail of that and the followup. You would certainly remember if your teacher lost their daughter in 9-11. It would be all you talk about with people when things get dark. I remember like, you would say it. No, I'm not even kidding.

I remember hearing one of my favorite teachers, sons passed away after I graduated from high school. And I still remember that. And think about... Was he in one of the towers too? No, no, it had nothing to do with 9-11. This is the joke, John Marko. One, two, three.

Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With John Marko Cerezi. Welcome to The Downside. My name to The Downside The Downside With Gianmarco Cerezi Welcome to The Downside, my name is Gianmarco Cerezi I'm here with my co-host Russell Daniels And with a very special guest, Busy Phillips Thank you for being here

We'll get to you in a sec Something so degrading happened to me last night I think one of the lowest stand-up points in my life Really? And I've had a lot of them Wow Worse than the bachelor party in the roast. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Which one was that? You had to do like a steakhouse. This is top five. Middle of my set, city winery. Nice venue. Sure. Nice venue.

I was upstairs, small space. I see out of the corner of my eye, someone's bringing over a cake with candles no middle of my set no the whole table sings the happy birthday song in full and

it was one of those moments where there's a part of me that said walk, leave leave, walk off the stage just go there's you have, you're in the right and i've seen comics do it just a couple times and i always go oh i don't know if i would have done that but i

go you know they were in the right yeah you can't sing happy birthday in the middle of the set yeah and people started joining in i started screaming i said no no no no no this is not your birthday nobody joined this is crazy crazy and then the venue said they said well our staff wasn't singing and it's like well you can't bring a cake with candles on top to the thing also like how long is your set it sits to 15 minutes

I'm just how could it not have waited until the end of your set that's crazy that's unhinged and in your head in your head you just go like you put the mic down leave yeah you go well no one everyone's gonna think i'm difficult everyone's gonna ruin the show there's other comedians on the lineup so it was

really it's so it did something to me though inside yeah there's something about it felt like fuck this shit yeah how big was the lineup it was like five comics and it's like a good city widers are like a little bit elevated shows it's it's and it was a good crowd yeah and they were with you and then happy birthday happened and then how'd you recover i you know i did the joke so i know what i'm wishing for my birthday for you to be dead okay i uh how old are you how old are you he said 45 said how's your cholesterol then i said let's get this guy a steak i just said i want you to die fun stuff i mean to be fair though like is it on him or is it on the waiter it is crazy to them i just feel like it's the venue like you can't if yeah or the

manager of the restaurant whatever like you're serving food quietly, like you're bringing in meat and cheese, playing some wine. All right. Yeah. They brought a cake with candles. That's insane. That's insane. And even if the patrons

or like the guy's wife or the boyfriend, whatever, even if someone was like, hey, can we get that cake? The waiter should have talked to the, whatever. There should have been a thing

that's like, you know what? We'll do it in between comics. Yes, yes, yes. You don't have a comedy show. It's crazy to go to a comedy show for your birthday too. But I agree, you're right.

If you're expecting a birthday celebration. If you're expecting, but if you're not, if you know, that's a fun thing. Maybe the cake was a surprise, whatever. All I'm saying is that is a, that is a wild thing. And I'm not mad at the guy. I feel like you have misplaced anger.

It's on the staff. It's on the, whoever decided to bring out the lit candles. People can't help themselves. They see lit candles on a birthday cake. We have to.

You gotta sing it. I probably would have. I can't, I actually am surprised you didn't start. It's rude to, it's very rude to not sing. Now if I was,

if I was less of a diva, I think I would have been, I would have been like, ah, I'm joining in. That was planned. Take an opportunity to really show off your pipes, you know?

Also though, aren't you kind of like known for like crowd work stuff? So I post, I post a decent enough amount. Right, because people, that's what you got to do as a comedian now is post crowd work, right? Like if you have a podcast, you got to post like clips of this shit. If you're a comedian, you got to post crowd work. Yes. Right? That's how it all works.

Okay, fine. So, but I'm just saying like, is there any world in which someone, and whether it's like the manager, the waiter, the person at the show, the girl, whatever, whoever's deciding this thing is like, oh my God, you know what we're going to do? John Markup, we're going to send the cake out during this. And there's going to be such good crowd work with you for your birthday. Conspiracy. There's going to be such good crowd work with you for your birthday. You know what I mean? When I make a clip of me telling this guy to kill himself three times, I hope that conversation changes immediately. Sure, maybe. But you know what I'm saying? That would be my curse if every show suddenly people do this to me. I've created my own prism.

I am looking up where you are next. It's available. Have you ever walked off mid anything? No, I've never even left a workout class early. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I left a movie once. Really?

Bad? Can you say what movie or no? It was terrible. And I don't remember what it was. I'm not even kidding. I'm not kidding. It was a bad movie and i was like life is too short i gotta get i gotta get out of here i was at the arc light and in los angeles

rip and those tickets are not cheap and i just like left and was like can i get my money back the movie sucks yeah did you get your money back yeah there is that's the worst feeling though when you're like you commit to going to see a movie and it's so bad that it's painful. Yeah. I think my friend and I thought we would be stoned and it would be like bad and funny. And it was just like bad and bad. And I was like, we got to get out of here. You know, what's interesting, though, I just remembered, like a friend of mine had a weird situation where a guy like jacked off next to her in a movie.

And the arc light also just gave her her money back like didn't do anything else you know what I mean I feel like I would have demanded more I would have demanded at least three tickets so the next time you can have the two seats I need more I need more it should be a different outcome than I hated

the movie yeah that's what I'm saying I'm saying like I just didn't like a movie and I got my money back. Like she literally was exposed to like a guy's dick jacking off next to her. And like, they just were like, here's your money back. They see someone walking up and they're just, yeah,

I know. It feels like she should, she should have gotten more. Well, it's too late now. Police report. Jesus. I know.

I've never been to the arc light. Is that, is that kind of behavior? It's gone now, but it was like the best movie theater report. Jesus. I know. I've never been to the Arclight. Is that, is that kind of behavior? It's gone now, but it was like the best movie theater in the world. I loved it. It was the best. Now Peewee Herman,

when he got caught, he was at an adult. He was at a place. He was at a place. Justice. Justice. Yes. Yeah.

We, we, those were, I mean, I don't even know if that would make a story now. Do you know what I mean? Sure. Like,

like, yeah. Make a story. Peewee Herman showed up and he just watched the movie from beginning to end without jerking off. Um, yeah. You walk out of anything?

I, I think so once, but I, it was, it was, I don't know if I did or if I'm remembering, I, I hated the experience that much,

but I don't, I probably wouldn't have. I walked out of a yoga class once. Cause the yoga teacher was, it was, it was the teacher teacher must have learned yoga that morning. And I'm there to do a workout. And I said to the yoga. I said to the yoga teacher, is there another studio available?

I'd like to do my own workout so I could get a little bit of a workout in. And I went to that studio and I just did one by myself. So that's me. That's what I'd walk out of. That's a bold move. Yeah. Yeah. You ever walk out of theater?

Theater is tough. Only a reading once. And that's truly because I was having an existential crisis of if I die, what have I done with my life? Did you wait for intermission? I waited for intermission. Oh yeah. But I've been,

but I've been in shows where people walk out in intermission and you come back and that feeling of looking at that smaller audience is brutal. Yeah. I would never, I could never do that. When I was doing, um, Titanic because of the way that thing. No. And I'm such a jerk for not seeing it. But I just remembered last night, we actually met very briefly cause I was Josh's understudy at Gutenberg and you were a guest producer. And I was like, so many people went through but yes it was very brief but um brief but fun um but because of the way the layout at Titanic is sometimes you'd be you'd be by the the like lobby so you would see people like asking for refund you know like if it was a more conservative person or something sure you know um but my favorite guy one time he stormed out and I was waiting in there and he stormed out and he's wearing a Celine Dion shirt. So clearly like big fan, but he was

offended that, uh, it was, this was like anti-Christianity. He was telling the box office, but he had a Celine Dion shirt. It was a fascinating character that I was like, Whoa, is this guy big Celine Celine Dion fan but very conservative and very godly. And he was asking for his money back. Were there any lines that were super anti-Christian? I don't think so. I think just the gay stuff. I think he just was like, you know. Wait, how are you going to be a

Celine Dion fan? That's what I'm saying. You're going to every concert and being like, it's a little gay here at the Celine Dion concert. There's a lot of things happening at the same time, yeah. You know what? People contain multitudes. They do. Good for that guy.

Yeah, good for that guy. I guess. It cannot be easy being a homophobic Celine Dion fan. And you're doing it, buddy. He's probably going to be closeted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Sure.

That's a whole thing. Bless. So, Izzy. I'm sorry about your experience are you okay now you know the degradations they just they they just add up in like kind of it's it's more like i think it's a slower poison and so it wasn't like acute it wasn't like i was like so upset or i cried or anything but i just think think you get disrespected so long. Yeah.

But you also put yourself in that position by being a standup. Yes. Sure, but I think... Like inherently, like you've made that choice for yourself. And then should we do, do we dig into that? Sure.

Some people call that victim blaming, but that's... No, I think Richard Pryor, prior there's a classic i don't know if it's apocryphal or not but he was doing like a show and he said you know what fuck you motherfuckers and left and then became the greatest comic of all time so fingers crossed yes that were just a couple more of these away from that yeah big moment yeah it's great yeah i feel that for you you're gonna run into that though no matter how successful you are as a stand-up you're still gonna be popping in sometimes to do weird things

and have shit happen you know what i mean but i think there's always you you must know this above the the trying to figure out when am i being a diva or when am I being, I want too much. And when am I just having regular respect that a human being should deserve? And it's really hard to know the difference sometimes. Yeah. Because I'm like, I'm a roll with the punches kind of person. Yeah.

But then I regret it immensely later. I did. I mentioned this on another tape we did, but I did this. Someone was going to, I was going to use their gym and they said, we'll take a pass. I said, I'll share all my story. I did I mentioned this on another table we did but I did this someone was gonna I was gonna use their gym and they said we'll take a pass it I'll share all my story let me use your gym they said fine

then this guy he wants to make a video with me and as I'm working out he's asking me interview questions as one of these things I didn't have the chutzpah to go this is more than I asked for yeah and I don't have that and I need to develop it badly. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I was just at the U S open and Jason Sudeikis was, which by the way, here's an issue. I don't, I don't know if you guys have this with anyone. You probably do.

Do you have people in your life from this industry that you've known for a really long time before they became monumentally famous? I'm starting to have a lot more of them right now. Yes. It is. There is such a cognitive disconnect for me because I like have like a very consistent level of recognizability and fame and like I'm thrilled with it. It's like my people, the people that love me are chill.

Generally women are gay men who are just like occasionally a dude who's like white chicks. And like, and other than that, like I just get, it's just very pleasant. The level of recognition that I get in public. I was at the DNC with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and I was just like, oh my God, I forgot. I've known Jesse for like, whatever, like 17, 18 years, something like that. I forgot, like Modern Family is literally the biggest show of all time.

Like the man cannot go anywhere. And then similarly being with Sudeikis who I've known for many, many years and was on SNL, which is like very, you know, like makes you very popular in like our age group. Do you know like contemporaries really know who you are? But the amount of people coming up to like try to, hey, hey, call my mom, call my mom. My mom's going to be, my mom's on the phone.

And like, she's a man. She's like obsessed with you. Call my mom, call my mom. And then at one, and like he handled it. He was like, it was really interesting to watch and like he handled it he was like it was really interesting to watch like he handled it really well jesse handled it great as well but mostly with jesse we were like walking through crowds really quickly yeah jason was more of like a sitting duck and um and this guy came up and he was so nice and he is a chef and he's got a

restaurant in the city that like is great and he has has, I guess, like a booth, like a catering booth or something at the U.S. Open making these lobster rolls. And he like came up and he's like, I got to make you guys lobster rolls. I'm going to bring lobster rolls. He brings us these lobster rolls. They were fucking amazing. Like this guy, I don't even like a lobster roll. Yeah, sure. amazing like this guy i don't even like a lobster roll sure this was like the guy you very clearly went and like made them specific for jason sudeikis and his friends in this booth you know what i mean

and and and like they were so delicious and fresh and whatever and he was just like being like a fuse of a great and he's like jason like can i get a picture like jason obliged took a picture with the guy and he's like all right just say best lobster roll and da da da da da and jason's like, Jason, can I get a picture? Like Jason obliged, took a picture with the guy and he's like, oh, I just say best lobster roll and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And Jason's like, man, man, come on. The lobster rolls are great. I'm not doing that. But that's absolutely insane. That's outside of, no, I can't, I can't do that, man.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, and like just the way that he did it was so nice and also so correct that the guy like immediately was like oh yeah yeah of course of course of course you know what i mean sure yeah yeah yeah it's that tone that's like hard it's a fine line though you know i can't do that you'll be in too much i'm doing this i'm doing 10 sandwiches along the way this is insane yeah buddy i thought it was like for me i thought it was really interesting because i'm more like you and I have a tendency to do

a little bit more of like do you need to get it? No I don't it's my daddy wants to do a second moment of my life. Is it time? No it's not. That would be amazing. We will do it. I definitely like have that tendency like I will

I do weird I will do weird things and I'm just glad that I had that moment watching Sudeikis do that because I'm going to now try to implement that tone. Yes. When I say no to someone. So I was in New Zealand and there was another comedian there named Atsuko. Do you know Atsuko? Of course. Yeah, of course.

And listen, I do not hide. Atsuko. Atsuko. Atsuko do you know Atsuko of course yeah of course and listen I I do not hide Atsuko Atsuko yes yes Atsuko yep Atsuko thank you we are friends Atsuko never have to say her name yes exactly I just say bud she's been on the pod Atsuko she's been on the pod work for pals we flew back from New Zealand together so I don't hide that if I have any sin in this world, it's envy. That's my sin. Yeah. And it was really surreal to, as a comic, occasionally once in a while people come up, they say they know me.

And then to be someone where I'm like, whoa, everyone at this museum knows you. Yeah. They're going to take us downstairs to touch the artifacts. There's no way we should be touching. We're touching, I mean, picking them up. We could have stolen them. I thought about it. Yeah.

And do you ever feel, do you think you've been in the business long enough that you don't have that kind of envy? Do you ever go through a phase where, wow, no one recognizes me the right now and then it's a lot and then it's a little are you so even keeled it doesn't it doesn't but you're saying you want that i'm not saying i want it i'm just saying it was a weird i felt like oh i felt you only wanted it because someone else right next to you was getting it no no i just i was like oh i'm not doing well oh i thought i was doing well i'm not doing well yeah and listen i'm not here to this is not a pat on the back i'm saying that's the feeling that i get and and you're you're around people sometimes where it's just like they're fucking do you look at go thank god i

don't have to deal with the lobster roll guy right now yeah yeah i for me it's more that because i do get to go into the basements of museums you know so i'm just saying like there's a level but there's a level yeah you know what i mean i totally yeah i totally know what you're saying i played with so many mummies on my own i actually do get like a table at a restaurant or whatever you know what i mean but uh and so i love i actually think that's my that's my barometer like i love that i can get tables at restaurants like by just kind of walking in yeah most of the time like that makes me just walking in that's fun wow that's nice i guys, I'm not trying to, you know, I've worked for a long fucking time. I know you have.

It's a long fucking time in this business that I've been paying these dues. But I will say that, like, the restaurant perk is, like, to me, the best of all of it. Yeah, yeah. Like, just a table at a restaurant, yeah. That does sound nice. And even, like, more, like, if, if I can call ahead when I, I don't have an assistant, but when I had one that I would, there were more calls ahead because I don't want to call for myself.

That's weird. Yeah. I, do you give the name real name full? Yeah. You have to, you have to. Yeah. Well, I think that the assistants, I don't know. That's why it's less weird with an assistant.

Yeah. Assistants do like a whole thing. Although sometimes I have called him like, yeah, yeah. Well, I think that assistants, I don't know. That's why it's less weird with an assistant. Yeah, assistants do like a whole thing. Although sometimes I have called and I'm like, hey, it's Busy Phillips. I was just wondering if there was any way we could get in tonight. I know it's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, yeah, why don't you guys come in at 7.15? Okay.

What age did you start performing in any capacity? When I was a child. Doing like school? Yes. Yeah. School plays in Arizona. I grew up in Arizona. And your mom wanted

to be a Broadway performer. Yes. She did. You did a little bit of research. I did a little bit of research. How far did she get? She did theater in high school and she auditioned for and got into the Circle in the Square Theater in New York. To your

conservatory? Yes. to the conservatory. And she grew up outside of Chicago. And her parents said, no, you're not going to New York City. You're not studying to be an actor. They let her audition or she snuck away to audition? Unclear, unclear. I should get clarity on that one. But she was denied by her parents.

And she would need her parents that and they you know she would like need her parents support i guess and it was not a time in the world i mean you know my mom my mom's a little bit older she's like uh than a lot of people's moms i guess yeah that makes sense she's 82 so now so um so she like, it was very much of a time like a woman couldn't have a credit card. You know what I mean? Oh,

really? Well, women couldn't have their own credit cards until like 1975. Right? Is that true? Is that real?

Yeah, without a cosigner. Do you not know this? No. I thought that was the, I thought that was an episode of The Handmaid's Tale.

No, you guys, you guys. We can look it up here too. It's been, it's been rough times. It's been rough times. It's been rough times to be a woman. 1974.

1974. What did I say? What did I fucking say? Wow. Protected women's right to access to credit? What did I say? That before the law, women needed their husbands, fathers, or brothers to co-sign for a loan or credit card. A hundred fucking percent.

No fucking way. That's crazy. Yes. When we talk about equality, when we talk about equality when we talk about parity wow motherfuckers my mom couldn't get a credit card until the year my sister was born i did not that's crazy i did not know that that's and after Roe. I thought 1929 we said, ah, we're all equal now. And this is two years after Roe, which is like important to note because the fact that women were able to finally have agency and bodily autonomy led to more equality, including financial equality. Wait, this was two years after Roe.

Roe was 1972. So, okay. So then the guys were like, we got to give him a credit card. You don't need to look that up. I'm right. That's what the guy said. The guy said,

you pay for the abortion. We'll give you a credit card. Oh my God. I mean, listen, money is tied to it all. Yeah. That is crazy. I did not know all. Yeah. That is crazy. I did not know that.

Yeah. Wow. So when my mother's family is like, her parents are like, no, that's not viable. You're not going. No, my mom's not going. So she stayed and went to college at a small school outside of Chicago. Do you know if that was a devastating thing for her?

I think it was really hard for her, yeah. I think she had a lot of really, I think my mom came up against a lot of, um, you know, glass and a lot of ceilings. I like a lot of glass ceilings. She was like the first crack. She wanted to, she wanted to work in, and then she wanted to work in advertising and her father had set her up, uh, with a job interview, like her senior year of college and she told me the story that like the man that was interviewing her like came around the desk at a certain point

and like put his hand on her knee and was just like you're too pretty to waste your time doing this and like she was just devastated like okay well i guess that's not happening um do you know do you know if your mom did you ever get to see her perform? I'm just thinking what it's like to have that dream and then to have a daughter so live the most full form of a performance career. Yeah. Like, did you ever see her sing a song? Did you ever see her do it? Yeah, no, I've heard my mom sing.

And when I was, I think I was like in college, my mom took like an acting class for fun. Wow, did she have it? Did she have the goods? I mean, she's like, you know, yeah. I mean, she's like, I don't, well, I didn't see anything that she did. Yeah.

But I, but. Did she have a sense of humor? Like, does she have a, yeah. Yeah, but it's like a lot, I come't see anything that she did. Yeah. But I, but. Does she have a sense of humor? Like, does she have a. Yeah. But it's like a lot. I come from like her side of the family. They were all performers and orators and writers. And my great grandfather was a like socialist Episcopal priest who gave the,

who was like known for these like, you know, very verbose like sermons and, you know, would wax philosophically on a number of things. Were they, is it liberal-ish in that sphere or were they more conservative? Oh no, liberal but Catholic. Liberal but Catholic, yeah, yeah, yeah. Liberal but Catholic, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah. Yeah, the whole family, I mean the whole family, liberal but Catholic. I guess I don't really understand liberal but Catholic as a concept. Catholic to me seems to be about rigidity. I know. I feel that. But I don't know.

I don't know what that is. Was your dad Catholic as well? Yes. Okay. Yes. Oh, Catholic. My father was raised with it, but he spared me all of it. My family's not. They were never. They were just like sort of always lax Catholics.

I feel like, I don't know. So when you were doing, uh, when you were doing theater in, in lower school, like was your mom, was she, uh, overexcited about it? Was she into it? Did she support it? No, she was into it. She definitely loved it. I don't know.

I think it's like a type of thing where, like, I bring up like the rest of her family because I think that these things get like sort of passed down. You know, like it's like just sort of in us to perform. And so, yeah, she was always really supportive. She wasn't necessarily like a stage mom. really supportive. She wasn't necessarily like a stage mom. I was begging from a very early age because weirdly in Arizona, where I grew up in Scottsdale, I had a couple friends who had as in elementary school, had agents in Los Angeles and their parents would like fly them to LA to audition for things. And I wanted to do that as a little kid. Yeah. I had a friend who like screen tested to be Wednesday Adams in the Adams family against Christina Ricci. It was a

big deal. Huge. Yeah. Didn't get the part, but it was huge. So yeah, I was always sort of like asking for that. And my mom had like, my parents both were like, no, you can do this as long as your grades are good. You can do extra curricular, you know, activities as long as your grades are good. And then you need to go to college at least two years of college and you can do whatever you want. I don't know why two years of college, but whatever. That was what they, that was like what they came up with. Liberal Catholic. It's like college, but two. Listen, if you get through two years, we're good. And exactly like sophomore year, my, my second semester of sophomore year, I got the pilot of freaks and geeks. Wow. Cause you were in college where? Loyola Marymount university in Los Angeles. Okay. Cool.

Jesuit. Jesuit. That's, that's like the looser Catholic, right? Looser Catholics, guys That's what people called me growing up My step-grandfather who was in New York during 9-11 He was a I'm sorry to laugh, I'm sorry No, no, no He was just in the city He was just in the city

Somewhere Downtown Greenwich Village Okay, okay It's pretty close Not far But he was a Jesuit dean of students at Georgetown University, I believe. Met my grandmother, was his secretary, fell in love.

Cute. Wrote, he wrote the Pope saying, hey, could you make an exception? Pope, notoriously not an exceptions guy. And he basically, they sent him to a psych ward they said you're clearly losing your mind you want to leave this high status position for your secretary he said no i'm staying with her and ultimately he was excommunicated excommunicated from the catholic church and uh he was like in my crazy family he's the only one not blood related. He was like the, you know, the caretaker of, of the family.

Yeah. And, uh, uh, but Jesuit. And I think that's why. So he was loose. He was really into,

he kind of ran the, the circuit of colleges. He was really into talking about bullying. Um, uh, he was for it. He said it strengthens character. No,

he, he really, he really, when I was a kid, it all felt so removed. It felt like an 80-year-old guy talking about bullying. You're like, I don't think you know what bullying really is anymore. Right. It's online.

Right. You know? But that was his cause. That's how he stayed. But he still loved Catholic Church. He still loved, he read all the articles of all the people who had left the catholic church but still wanted to know what was going on with the pope yeah i feel like it's gossipy in a way it's a little gossipy it's a little gossipy like do more like a do more for for the catholic church i mean that's what like the vatican times is it's

like this these people aren't i mean that's all i did not even know there was such a thing as the vatican times what are you talking about and they say who's excommunicated in it? No, I'm just saying like there's gossip about. There's God. That's why. That would be crazy. That's why the Pope said, you know, he said the Italian F slur 10 times. Oh, yeah. Because they're all gossipy.

They're gossipy. They're all just like. And the one Pope like left so he could be with his boyfriend like in the countryside. Oh, my God. Right. Benedict. Is that true? Isn't it?

I probably. I mean, that's gossip. I don't know. I remember walking around Pompeii and it was like, we don't need to fact check. It's just gossip.

We just be, it just exists. Pope, gay lover. I'm almost positive though I am right. There was some, I haven't been wrong yet.

I'm just going to say I haven't been wrong yet. That's true. That's true. When you're, when you were raised, did your mom raise you with feminist values? Like given that she was-

It's so complicated. That's so complicated. Yeah? Yeah, because I think my mom, yes, I think my mom said that, but then what I like saw in practice felt a little bit different because I think a lot of women, my mother's generation, and then I think it kind of carried over even into like a little bit more like, you know, Gen X and elder millennials, which is like girls, women, young women and girls being told like, you can have it all. You can have

it all. You can have it all. You got to have it all. You're going to have it all. You have to, we fought so you could have it all. But then like what you see in practice is like, yeah, your mom is literally doing it all. Like she's doing everything. There was no division of domestic labor. It didn't feel. So my mom went back to work when I was in elementary school at some point and was a real estate agent. But then also, you know, did all the cooking and like cleaning and the housekeeping and the laundry and like this and that and kept the late 70s and the 80s um you know the disconnect of not seeing fathers being like participatory in the domestic life sure totally led to a lot it's a lot of confusion and the and the idea of like you can have it all is like well actually uh no you fucking cannot um because you need to have a partner who can help support you and like divide the domestic labor as well. Did you clock it as a kid at all or did you only realize later in life?

No, I think I I think I only realized later in life that I was like that I personally had like deeply ingrained sort of patriarchal beliefs based on like the family system that I was, that I was a part of, you know what I mean? But like, ultimately like deferring to my dad for, I don't know, we have to ask your father, like those kinds of things. Like that kind of thing was sort of just in me or, or even just that I needed to get married. Like, you know what I mean? Like I just had these, these things. So I had a lot of big beliefs, right? That like women can do anything and we can have it all. And all these, and we can like, I'm not going to marry a rich man. I'm going to be a rich man, but also I do need to get married and have children. And also like, you know, I am going to be responsible for like all of the child rearing,

taking care of, you know what I mean? Like those kinds of things that like have taken me a lot of time to sort of divorce myself from, and then I got actually divorced, but. Sure. Sure. Yeah. No shade to my ex-husband who's like a wonderful partner now. That's good. Yeah. So a good, a good divorce. I mean, I come from a bad divorce.

Oh, we have the best divorce. That's great. People are jealous of our divorce. Really? Yeah. Dude, that's good. Do I think it's good? No, no, no. I said that's. Dude, that's good. Do I think it's good? No, no.

I know. I said that's, I said that's good. I have, sometimes I have a fantasy just it's like a, where I'm like, my friends will get divorced

and I have a kid and I'll be, I, I feel like I have so much, I have so much knowledge of like how to, how to be a bad divorce. Like what parents do

that fucks up their kid? Because I witnessed it, not just from, my parents were divorced when I was a little kid. So I just grew up with it separate. So I saw that very clearly. But then my mom and stepdad got divorced. So I think I got like a second vantage point

of like watching as an adult, like these two people make decisions that I'm like, you are, this is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And so I always like, you are, you are, this is the bad, bad, bad, bad,

bad. Yeah. And so I always like, I don't know. Like what kind of stuff? Uh, sure. I'll,

I'll, I'll be, I'll, I will probably be biased in my mom's favor. Cause she does listen to the pod, but ultimately there's, there's this belief. If you hate each other,

if you have a lack of communication, it cannot, it cannot work. It cannot function. There absolutely is no way to do that. There's this belief, if you hate each other, if you have a lack of communication, it cannot work, it cannot function. There absolutely is no way to do that without directly damaging your child. 100%. And I think like, it was so complicated with my own divorce, my parents, because my dad, I think,

just was a nightmare in certain respects. And when I was a kid, I was very mad. My stepdad was overly strict. My mom could be distant sometimes. But I think my dad was doing so much shit that was hard to understand. He fucked my kindergarten teacher. And I was in first grade, I think, when it happened.

But I understand looking back, that's not good. think when it happened but like i understand looking back that's not good and uh but you know but at the time uh my kindergarten teacher slept over at the house and we did halloween together and she was awesome and we had a great time yeah and and then she got fired and my dad says that my mom got her fired and it's like i don't i don't i don't know i don't know what you do at this point yeah what do you do but also like it's not like he just fucked her. He was, it sounds like he was dating her. Yeah, but he's not, but, but he's, he's gonna, the trajectory of my dad's relationships are going to be, he's going to cheat at some point. And then I got a teacher at the school that my dad has cheated on. Right, right, right. A hundred percent. That makes a lot of

sense. That's yeah, that is, that's not consider makes a lot of sense. That's, yeah, that is... That's not considerate of you. That's not taking your child, your children's... Sure. I honestly don't know how you... Dating with kids... Uh-huh. It's really hard. Oh, my God. But, like, my dad... I don't know

if he waited a little bit, but ultimately he would do this thing. He would buy a bunch of toys or candy for the woman to give to me. Right. And I'd be like, this woman fucking rocks. She's my new mom. Yeah. This is the best.

And then they'd leave and they'd have to have a second breakup speech with me. Oh, yeesh. Which, God, I mean. How many were you talking in your childhood? I mean, the two moments, the one that really sticks out to me, there was a woman and we always play Monopoly together. And I remember she brought me to the car one day and she said, hey, I got a promotion at work. I'm going to be really busy and I just I'm not going to be able to come around as much anymore. And I remember saying, but we'll still play Monopoly.

And she said, she said, yeah, I'm sure we'll figure it out. And then like years later, I saw her at the Rite Aid with another guy and like a baby and it all clicked. It all clicked. So I don't know. How old were you? God, I mean that woman, probably like six, seven. You were little. I was little. There's a lot of women that I see pictures that I'm with

and I don't have any memory of them, but I'm sure I was close with them. And I think it fucked me up. Yeah. I mean, is your dad a sex addict? No, I think he's- Sex and love addiction? You know what's weird?

It's like I never, I don't think he's a sex addict. I do think he loves women. Yeah. But I don't think he's- Sex and love addiction. You know what's weird? It's like I never- I don't think he's a sex addict. I do think he loves women. Yeah. But I don't think he's fucking all the time. It was not that sense of like there was sex all the time. I think he likes to flirt. I think he likes the power. I think he likes women.

He was also- The attention. Beautiful man. So he likes the attention of it all. And then I just think he's a cheater at heart. I don't think he's a monogamous guy at, at heart.

And I don't know what you do with that. Are any men? I just, you know what I mean? No, no men, all men have, everyone has drives.

Yeah. But, but some men you go, you look at the full history of their life and you go, I don't think the system as society's built around today was,

was made for made for you. Right. And I think, who knows, maybe now he'd be in an ethical, non-monogamous relationship. Maybe. Sure. Maybe. Or he'd find someone who loves to swing. I don't know.

Or maybe he gets off on the cheating itself. Right. Maybe. I mean, that's like a whole thing, too. Yeah. But there's a degree of like, I don't think he was made for the traditional model of the world. Fucked up.

I'm talking about a fucked up childhood. And so what do you do? And now he's alone and he dates now and then. But I don't know. I don't know. When you look at a guy like that, you start feeling sympathetic when they get older and you go, he can't help himself.

He goes, especially with the internet, he goes online and he's on these probably he's on 15 probably dating apps my sister told me the other day found out my sister who's not on his side my half-saturday side he was part of the ashley madison league oh here's what's so funny about that busy here's what's so funny about that busy ashley madison is for people cheating on their wives my dad's not married he's not married so that means that he was interacting with likely bots on a website to cheat on your wife that he doesn't have. So maybe it is that more of the cheating is the thrill of it. The thrill of the game.

It's the thrill. That's a lot to unpack. Wow. Have you done good therapy? You? I've done. I did. I did.

Yeah. Enough. I mean, I probably need something else. Yeah. What are you going to do? I don't know. When you're a dude, I think it's like, it's hard to escape a bad dad.

Like, and the effect that it has on you. I see like more guys fucked up by bad dads than like, I don't know, than anything. Sure. I don't know what the cheat, the cheating was weird because I didn't find out about any, than anything. Sure. I don't know what the cheat, the cheating was weird. Cause I didn't find out about till later. Like it's so weird. Cause I look back on all these, uh, things, you women that were part of my life, family members who then just disappeared.

And in retrospect, I'm like, Oh, they didn't, as he would have said, like, she just, you know, she went crazy or, uh, she, when she, when she had that baby, uh, uh, my sister, when she had the baby, it just, you know, she had a fucked she when she when she had that baby uh uh my sister when she had the baby it just you know she had a fucked up child had to reconjure that and i'm like in retrospect like you cheated and she found out and that's why she started sleeping in the basement right but like even still you have this pattern of women leaving so like for you i'm just saying for you your pattern that gets put into you is like, women don't stay, women go. Yeah, sure. Like, I don't trust this.

Sure. So that's like, that's all I'm. And then you find out the cheating piece. Yeah. You see that David Grohl thing the other day? Yes, I did. I don't know if you're friends, but it's, yeah. Yeah.

Okay. It's just, it's just, it's just the men, the world is the world. It doesn't change. It just doesn't change. We're never going to get to a place. I'm like not surprised by anything ever. I'm just literally never surprised by anything ever.

Yeah, that's a good point. Like ever. There was no moment in your life where you said, oh my God, this is all bullshit. When was that moment for you? I mean, I think I was like, I don't know, 14. I don't know. 12, 11, 13, 14. Was it connected to religion?

Like, did you feel like, did you, were you, do you remember believing in? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I write about this in my book. I was like very into it for a bit when I was little. I really like loved it. Can a bit when I was little. I really like loved it. Can you still connect it? Can you see a thing of Jesus and you feel something?

No, no, no. No, because I like never was like Jesus was never my vibe. Yeah. It was more like the rest of the trappings of it. What did you like? I mean, I think I liked community and I liked people and the pageantry. And specifically, I remember when I was little, I wanted to be an altar boy and that was not allowed. Girls couldn't be altar boys.

And that was the moment where I was like, fuck this shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. So what did the altar boy do? He comes out in a row? Yeah, he got to bring up the thing, the communion or the wine. And you're like, you wanted to hold it and have everyone. I wanted everyone to look at me. I wanted the wine. And you're like, you wanted to hold her to have everyone. I wanted to hold her. I wanted everyone to look at me.

I wanted the attention. Are there jobs that girls could do or no? I mean, now I think you can be. There are altar girls now, but like. There's altar girls now. I think so. Yeah, I believe that's true. But like, yeah, I was like rejected and I remember feeling like, well, this is bullshit. This is

fucking bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever want to be i don't know how often did you go to church almost never my parents uh said we could decide if we wanted to go and as children my brother and i were like we're good so we went once in a while we went a little bit when my mom's parents were dying it felt like she got uh she was seeking something you know yeah understandably. And so we went a couple of times here and there, but not ever regularly.

Catholicism. I went to my, my stepfather's grant, a mother's funeral was a Catholic funeral. And it was like, it was the most emotionally dead, like, like the,

the priest just was, you know, going by the book, nothing personal, and kept saying, our Lord, the one true God. And I'm like, stop enough talking about the fucking woman in the ground. And we all got a card

with another old white priest with a thing. And you're like, what does this have to do with anything? I don't know. It's ritual. There's ritual to cathartic ritual. And then I think there's ritual to stabilize. And it's the same thing. And so that calms you down.

Maybe. Maybe that's what people are getting out of it. Because I'm more like, I'm like, I want the ritual of let's cry or let's laugh or let's do fucking something. Yeah. Let's feel something. Let's do an orgy. I don't give a shit. Yeah.

I don't think it works. I mean, like the Catholic. I don't think, I don't know. I an orgy. I don't give a shit. Yeah. I don't think it works. I mean, like the Catholic. I don't think, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think it's, I mean, like, statistically speaking, they say that, like, even though a lot of Americans claim that they're, like, religious, that, like, religion's having a real downslide and people actually going Yeah. And actually participating in that way. Well, it's hard to, with kind of the rise of the far right, the way that they talk about Christianity, it's so weird because it seems like it's no longer has the religious aspect, the spiritual aspect.

It really is just about like the christians you can't do like i don't know it feels so not even uh it doesn't even have like the pretend pretense of being about god or jesus well okay yeah i mean first of all it's all just about like those guys tax breaks of course totally like a hundred percent and then they're just like manipulating parishioners through social issues in order to vote the way they want them to vote so that they can continue to get their tax breaks. And that's the whole fucking thing with Catholicism and abortion anyway. And when Jerry Falwell decided to take abortion on as an issue, like the evangelical Christians didn't fucking care about abortion at all. care about abortion at all in fact they made a statement when roe was passed in 1972 saying they thought it was a good thing that it was a good decision and then they really that is i

believe you i believe you i'm just shocked yeah they yeah they thought why did they think it was good they just thought because they are a little bit we're like they don't give a fuck like they were like we're going to we're doing our thing we're going to heaven abortion was not a thing that they cared about and it wasn't it just wasn't it wasn't an issue but their tax breaks were and Jerry Falwell wanted to keep his Liberty University uh tax exempt yeah but he also wanted to keep it segregated. But segregation was real unpopular because there had been a reckoning. But they looked at the success that Catholics specifically had had with anti-abortion, with getting anti-abortion Catholic politicians elected. There was one case in Illinois that they specifically looked at and they were like, that's it. That's how we're going

to do it. And so they started targeting politicians that were going to give them the tax breaks they wanted. And they're like, abortion is going to be the thing that we're going to talk about, not the segregation, because I want to keep the segregation and I need my tax break. So that's how they started like weaving, uh, all of the anti-abortion rhetoric and like the idea that like God's against abortion and it's killing babies. And by the way, Catholics are only against birth control and abortion because of tithings, which is money, which is that the more babies you fucking have, the more you give to the church every week. So for them, it's financially advantageous for people to have more fucking babies.

It's all about control and money. This whole fucking thing is about money to these motherfuckers. They don't give a shit. Are they, the people that are moved, okay, so you have the master manipulators, yeah? Sure. And then you have the people ultimately that the the the money that are feeding it yeah and those people i i this is condescending to say but those people are manipulated in the sense that they go baby emotional is an emotional manipulation of course how is it couldn't there be some how is it that

that emotional manipulation you would think all the people who are talking about babies all day long would also be talking about Palestine 24-7 or would also be talking about we need to make sure that people who come into the country, they're taking care of are fed and clothed. And so part of me is like, is there a way but if we're playing people's heartstrings to manipulate them in a way that they become i think i think there's a i think there's a thing that there is an emotional manipulation for sure but i also think once something goes on for so long and it's this versus this it's a thing about winning like it's like it's i do think that there's a thing of a sect of people who feel the way that they feel they do really feel a certain way about things but i do think that now it's more important to beat something else and to be like i know that this is one of my things and i want to you know and i feel strongly about it and to go to the extremes i don't know it feels like there's a winning thing yes and yes and yes

totally and it's it's also ingrained and so deeply tied to capitalism at this point that like, and, and this idea that like, we're all just, you know, American exceptionalism and that like, we are all, you know, especially like white people believe that they are owed something. They are fucking owed it and that they deserve it. And so it's very easy to manipulate someone into being like, you know, that thing you don't have, look at all these motherfuckers that have that thing that you don't have. You should have that thing. Why don't you have that? And so like people have gotten into this headspace of like, it's just actual true insanity. And if you

go back to it, I started researching my great-grandfather, who I didn't know a lot about, the socialist Episcopal priest, that at the turn of the century, there were a lot of priests that were sort of, you know, more socialist leaning. And they were kind of just like driven out

by politicians and capitalists who were like, and capitalist priests who were like, and, and, and capitalist priests who like wanted money. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's like,

why it's wild to like, but that it's like, so we can be, it can be so reductive. Yeah. No, but I think it's money. What I,

what I don't understand is Elon Musk is just like, I, I hate him so deeply, of course, but it's like, I don't understand is elon musk is just like i i hate him so deeply of course but it's like i don't understand how someone like elon musk like he'll say and some of these politicians will be like you guys need to be having more kids you guys got to be having more kids as they hoard the wealth you're like what are you as they hoard the wealth and the the i just wish i don't understand how people without money look at people with that much money and don't go, hey, fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy. Because the idea is that any of us can be that guy. And that's the thing that they keep perpetrating, even though they know that's not fucking true. What's the wake up call? They're on their deathbed? I mean, it's like the people- 100%.

But maybe not even that, it's like the people on their deathbed who from covid who didn't think covid was real and they were dying of it actively like i don't i just don't understand i'm like i want to give them a little bit of that envy that i have i go look at this this guy's has it and you don't yeah this fucking and he's having all these kids and there's this belief we're gonna go to mars i'm like his kids are going to mars not your fucking kids are going to mars your kids are going to be scooping up the coal into the fucking rocket ship and i don't i know what is that what is that the disconnect between like voting against your own best interest is is wild i mean in part because it's like white supremacy for a lot of people it's just it's just deeply ingrained white,

white supremacy. Yeah. That's it. Like, yeah. I mean, you watch, you watch,

you watch the debate last night and you're like, the only thing that he keeps going back to is the immigration thing and scaring people. Yes. And you're like, it's just totally a thing of being like, there's Brown people and you need to be scared of them. And that's all you need to vote for me for. And that's also is that he

went too far he went too far into the and they're eating your cats and it was like eating your cats eating your pets eating your fucking cats it was only glorious in the sense that like he went he just went too far he just went too far for the average for the

average racist for the night the kind of like congenial racist said maybe maybe maybe maybe but that story wasn't real let's see it wasn't real does that matter because like the maybe a little bit this time i'm hopeful maybe i will say i think that they did a good job finally of sort of like real-time fact-checking when they could i mean there were so many wild swings, but there were some very- Yeah, and by the way, the bar is so low

because we're literally like, it was really nice how when he claimed someone ate a pet cat that they said, just so you know, that didn't happen. And we're like, thank God. And then he said, I saw it on TV. I saw it on TV. I saw it on TV.

And there's gonna be, and there are a large swath of Americans right now who are like, he saw it on TV. I saw it on TV. I saw it on TV. And there's going to be, and there are a large swath of Americans right now who are like, he saw it on TV. I saw it on TV too. That happened. People locking up their bets. That happened. I saw it on TV.

It happened. Yeah. When did you see it on TV? When Trump said he saw it on TV. That's when I saw it on TV. Yeah. How are you feeling? You feeling optimistic?

I am. I'm going to Charlotte, North Carolina tomorrow for the Harris campaign. Oh, nice. Yeah, for the day, for nine hours or something. Yeah. Yeah. But I am optimistic. I think it's – I'm hopeful.

I'm hopeful that people turn out. Abortion is on the ballot in nine states currently, ten states maybe now. Or because it got rejected from two because they don't actually want it to go to a vote because they know that if it does they will lose they will lose what they want so we've had a few setbacks

but how many how many yeah because Missouri just took it off right yeah fuck them that's the problem I mean and you think if Kamala wins she's gonna codify roe v wade i think that if she gets the senate sure but nothing can be done unless we get like the house and senate if she did you think she will 10 states 100 it's in 10 states what did i say nine nine uh i'm doing well i'm doing well um i think I think everybody wants to see. I don't I don't even think it's like codifying the right to abortion at this point. all people should be able to make medical decisions with their doctors that are best for them.

And that politicians who have no fucking idea what they're even talking about have no right to. And also like people deserve to have IVF. They deserve to be able to have families when they want to have families and how they want to have families. And the fact that... The IVF thing really felt like the people who are anti-abortion were short-sighted in the way that they were going to piss off a new swath of people by saying... Like now people are scared to do the IVF because if they fuck up an embryo, they'll be sued for murder. It's like it just... I hope they get what's coming to them yeah uh with your i always think should i should i ever be in a place where i would be of use politically or rally or or showing up to things in the way in the way that you participate in a rally or, or, or showing up to things in the way, in the way that you participate in.

I'm very, um, skeptical of, of both, uh, of, of not, not both, but the Democratic party, there are so many things that I have so many issues with, whether, whether, you know, and, and, and I think what was so easy, at least when I was coming up, the, the way that I identified the two parties, uh, kind of as a youth in high school was around gay marriage and it was such a no-brainer whether because i was a theater person or because i saw what marriage was and i said are you kidding me you think this holds any kind of sacred value in your mind you know i have like my whole theory is that like we were fighting for the wrong thing we should have been fighting for marriage to be not government mandated at all. Oh, yeah?

I mean, I don't know. You shouldn't get any fucking tax break just for being married. Sure, yeah. Like, there are other rights, obviously, that you need to be able to, like, establish. But it shouldn't affect your tax breaks. Like, my single friends who are 40 and single, like, they're not getting the same tax breaks as someone who's married. That's fucked up. I couldn't agree more.

You know what I mean? Like, why are we fighting for, why, why is marriage? Oh, I know why. Because it upholds the fucking patriarchy. That's why. Yeah. Well, did you know that in, in Maryland at the time that my mom got divorced and I believe this rule changed, but this is real. And I believe this rule changed, but this is real.

You can look this up because I'm not as sure. Is that when you got a divorce, before you could file for a divorce, you had to live under separate roofs for an entire year and not have sexual relations for that year. And my theory, and I've never looked it up, partly because I go like, no, this is why. Is because it was developed at a time where the man would be the breadwinner. And that gave him two ways to always be in the power to deny a divorce. It is the no-fault divorce of a different name. Right. Because this is what happened to my mom to a degree. I think, honestly, I saw, you know where you have a meal, it's called deconstructed, right?

Where you have all the ingredients. I saw marriage deconstructed. And I saw the consequences still. My mom stopped working because my dad asked her to stop working to marry me. Of course. Then when they got divorced and she married my stepfather, she, you know, she worked a little bit, but she was a lawyer. And you can't stop being a lawyer for five years and then continue back where you left off. And so suddenly she wants a divorce. you can't stop being a lawyer for five and then, and then continue back where you left off. And, uh,

so suddenly she wants a divorce. How is she going to pay for the, for the house? Right. Uh, and then with the sex one, it just sounds like if you don't want a divorce, you just go in there and you say, you're on,

or, uh, we had sex last night. Yeah. Like it's just, it just gives an excuse to delay. Yeah. And I think that was changed,

but that's, that's all the rules. There's a lot of wild things that still exist. Lots of places. But I remember my stepfather, he dropped me off at middle school and he said, I just, I just believe marriage is between a man and a woman.

And I was like, I know I can see your marriage crumbling in front of my eyes and that you say this. And he's so, he's so smart. Why was he telling you that? Cause gay marriage was like a topic. That was the topic. And I think like,

I was like, you know, I was like, I was like, who cares? Yeah. Who gives a shit? Sometimes I'm like,

am I liberal? Am I just like, who gives a shit? That is kind of what I'm like. I'm like very much like, I don't know, man, live your fucking life.

Makes you happy. Do it. What do you want? What do you need? How can, how can I be of assistance or not? I don't get, I don't care. Yeah. I would like, I don't understand why people get so upset or invested in other people's

lives and bodies. Yeah. It's weird to me. Would you ever become a politician? No. Do you ever, do you ever go by, by being part of these events and obviously certain causes a hundred percent in agreement that you, when they do something and maybe some other realm that you disagree with, or you think is shitty that you feel like tied or you feel like i think that nothing is perfect including like this system

and no politician is perfect and you know the fucking lie that we've all been fed is first of all that like change happens immediate and overnight like what happened with roe was 30 years in the making what happened with that Supreme Court was like very specifically laid out by the Republican Party and they got a guy that was able to fucking do it. You know, Mitch McConnell, the fact that like Merrick Garland didn't, you know, that Obama's pick on the Supreme Court

got like punted was insane. Like in that moment, the Democrats fucked themselves because they should have fought that Republicans would have never done them, never allowed that to have happened ever. And, you know, the truth is, I think that like, there was a sort of pervasive idea on the, on the Democrat side that like, in order to continue to uphold democracy like everything needs to be done like by the book and like in this maybe sort of old older school way of operating and the republicans have had this playbook that they've been you know whether it's like carl rove

or steve bannon or whoever the fuck is the, I don't know who's writing this shit. Like, but they are systematic. And they're also people that chip away. They chip away. They have gerrymandered districts. They have put in justices in different states. Like they have made sure that they have these like strongholds so that that have made this possible. What's happening in Missouri, not allowing abortion on the ballot is a direct result of years and years of Republican planning. They get really fucking disappointed when it all doesn't change overnight or when they are or when they are one issue that they fucking care about isn't the one that's taking.

Sure. But their pressure. I also think that their pressure, though, is part of is part of the keeping things in check. A hundred percent. Because I you know, it's it's like especially with with Palestine, I feel like there's a degree of that pressure. If everyone said, okay, we're all going to chill because we want to make sure there's certain things. We got to beat Trump. We still need that pressure of like, hey, there's other things we need to talk about right until the final day. And then, yes, I hope, I don't want Trump to win. No. And then, yes, I hope, I don't want Trump to win.

No. I hope at the last second that a lot of people go, we got to take care of this unless we want America to dissolve. Yeah. I know, but I'm just like my, the burn it all to the ground is not, like that is, that comes from such a place of fucking extreme privilege. Sure. Fuck you.

Sure. You know what I mean? If you're like, well, fuck this because I, because of, you know, the US's involvement with Israel and Palestine, like you can't see that like people in this country, people that like, we just owe it to, if you're going to live here, you owe it to everyone to participate in a real meaningful way. And yes, it's like demonstrations.

And yes, it's making your voice heard. And yes, it's putting pressure on the politicians that are in office, but it's also showing the fuck up and voting for the person who's not perfect. Sure. But let's just say if you are a person who goes let's say you're from palestine or you have palestinian friends or you just look at the huge fucking mistake at the dnc not letting um sure the palestinian i don't know why i don't and i know why i know why they do it i mean i have no idea nor do i even particularly don't know why they didn't be because because there is a there is a segment of the jewish population a large segment

of jewish population that is votes democrat in general as a matter of course there's also a large part of the jewish population that votes republican sure but it's going to be a lot bigger if if there's a lot that are are very sensitive to the moment there is a even a hair of a criticism of Israel. And I mean like, like that though. And, and they will, they will drop, they will forget it. They will drop, uh, abortion rights. If, if someone, it feels like it's critical of Israel. Now I was not raised in that. I don't understand it. I can't fucking fathom it. I cannot fucking fathom dropping, uh, all the other values because, because someone criticizes a fucking country. That's bombing.

We see videos and horror. But that's true. Rabbi Sharon Brous in Los Angeles is like who is the head rabbi at IKAR in L.A. is a friend of mine and I love her. is a friend of mine and I love her and she is very able to speak to like being able to hold these truths of like this is an atrocity and we the response is unacceptable and we need to continue to put pressure on our politicians and also you know as Jewish people, we need to feel protected and we need to like, you know, rally around the families who have lost people. And it is, I do think it's hard to, to lose sight of the, of, of, of humanity. Like people get like wound up in identity and they lose sight of humanity is all I'm saying.

Of course. And so that's my point about the voting thing is like don't get wrapped up in like, you cannot lose sight of humanity because what's happening, especially in the literal 41 states that now have like some sort of abortion ban. Is that people are dying, being denied care.

Women who can't afford it are having children who've been raped are having babies. Like children younger than my daughter. Like we can't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And, like, to the Jewish people who would, like, not vote because, like, that's fucked up. And also it's against Jewish values. Just FYI. Of course.

I'm like, just FYI. They'll accuse Biden of being, like, too hard on Israel. And I'm like, you guys are, you guys have lost the thread. If you think Biden's being hard, I 100% agree. Yeah. But, like, also, i i i don't know no no it's it's uh it's also so frustrating children can be so frustrating when it comes to the the the discussion about abortion is that you i it's obvious people should have the right to abortion

period but then you have to like go to the rape or incest to be like as the like kind of argument like come on come on guys and it's like you it's sometimes it's one of those things qualifying of abortion especially like even at the dnc i was also disappointed like i testified before congress about the abortion i had when i was 15 i just got knocked up when i was 15 because i was an idiot and um and i had an abortion and i don't regret it. And I have friends who have had abortions in their twenties and thirties and forties just because they accidentally got pregnant and for one reason or another, and they didn't want, couldn't have whatever. Um, I've also had lots of friends who've had fetal abnormalities that were like devastating and for very wanted

babies and had to have abortions. Um, yes. the qualifying of this like rape or incest or whatever. I mean, whatever. Yeah, it reminds me of like when there was the thing of like, being gay is not a choice and it's okay to be gay. It's like you have to like show both things. And for some people you had to be like, listen, this is not a choice.

They, and other people, but deep down, I want to be like, even if it was like, this is, this is crazy that you, who gives a shit.

But like, you have to like do this dual thing. Yeah. It's a lot guys. There's a lot. It's a lot. You know what I like to say? We got to hold all the things. Yeah. It's a lot. Guys, there's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. You know what I like to say? We got to hold all the things.

Yeah. We got to hold all the things. I think watching the debate last night, it's been a while since I've watched Trump for that long, you know? And it was this reminder of, God, this is exhausting. Like as a country, like it just having that kind of energy and that kind of person running things and in front of you at this like it was like i was reminded oh it's been nicer to not even though he's still present at always but like it's been so much nicer to the last four years that it's not every day that you have to watch it and you have to be in your until like

watching last night i was like oh my god this is so exhausting this person's energy is so exhausting i don't know how anyone works with him but the culture you've talked about it where it's like an inability to feel joy and so to replace that you feel angry or aggravated all like there's some there's some it's almost just a cultural where a whole group of people have lost the... Can't laugh. Can't laugh. Dance it out.

Can't like... It's so... It's always just got to be like... Because I'll look at the Sean Hannity's or the Tucker Carlson's and I'm like, it's so smarmy. Doesn't that just make you kind of like, ugh? Yeah. I wouldn't like it from anyone, even with my views.

Yeah. I do feel like it all comes down to, I don't know, whatever. Whatever love they didn't get in their childhood. We all missed out on some love. We all missed out on some love. We all missed out on some love. We're all just looking for some love. We're just trying to do it with making people love us and comedy.

Sure. They're trying to do it by hating other people. And that's how they're finding community because they're banding together to hate others but let me let me maybe this is tied to this is why you need the arts and partly why you need the arts you need people to have some level of expression so they can like get this stuff and that's why and empathy i remember uh candace owens uh uh she she said something about she was like stop going to therapy man you don't need

to go to therapy and it's like that telling men not to masturbate telling people not to do the arts all of it is about I think just I think you

people in power fascists are able to control a body of people more if they have less outlets for their feelings so they cut off arts they cut off sex they cut off hearts. They cut off sex.

They cut off therapy. And it's just like, then they're easy to manipulate because they're so mad and they're ready to attack. They're just mad all the time. Yeah, and they have no worldview. They can't see outside of their own sad little balls of anger inside of their chests. The Sephora Savings Event is here. balls of anger inside of their chests. Now through November 11th, find brands like Rare Beauty, Glow Recipe, Valentino, K18, and more, all for less.

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This is the choice that has been made for me and we're here. Just from work and stuff. But what do you, my girlfriend and I were going to LA for like two months at the beginning next year. She's, she's a manager and I have a pretty good girlfriend. I have a great girlfriend. Yeah.

Yeah. Everybody loves her. They do. Yeah. They do. She's great. I just wanted, this is,

I'm like, honestly, that's why I asked you the question. So there's like, I'm looking out for her earlier where I'm like, have you done the work? Are you like, are you going the work? Are you like, do you go through therapy?

Sure. No, I... Is that fair? You know what I mean? I'm always like a little bit like, are you okay? No, it's very kind. Because she's a great girl.

Sure, I've been through therapy. I sometimes worry though, the only disdain for me and my dad is I know I'm mentally ill. But you know what Self-awareness Is fucking everything It's fucking everything

And it can be crippling And it can make you Neurotic in a way That can be unbearable Yes yes But That's something my father Just doesn't

Doesn't even Possess That's like a narcissistic Tendency Not to have self-awareness Right To a degree Yeah I don't know But I'll also tell you It's why I'm hesitant To get tendency not to have self-awareness, right? To a degree, but I'll also tell you it's why I'm hesitant to get married, married because I have self-awareness that I like, what is this? What is this thing?

I think it could be so crippling. It could prevent me from having kids. Yeah. Because I think there, I think I have a self-awareness of like, I, I know I have, I have narcissism in me and i'm like could i really put this kid ahead of my own narcissism i saw my father fail so deeply and ultimately like i think he tried when i was younger when i was cuter it was probably easier but then like as you get older and you're just like a shitty opinionated son who disagrees with you on everything. I think it probably becomes a lot harder to prioritize that ahead of your own, you know,

going on dates. Yeah. I, do you, do you, do you, do you consider yourself have any strain of narcissism or you're like, I'm not a narcissist.

Me? Yeah. Um, I don't think I'm a narcissist. Um, you, I don't think so. Yeah.

Yeah. I've thought a lot about it. I've done a lot of therapy though. I've thought a lot about it I've done a lot of therapy though I've thought a lot about you and I don't think that you are fully I think when you say there are moments and you have a self-awareness about it I think

that it's I don't you're not someone that I'm like he's a narcissist you know what I mean like I think I know you've self-awareness around moments I'm at war with it I think I'm you have self-awareness around moments. I'm at war with it. I think I'm at war with it on a regular, or maybe it's just a regular thing, but in conversation I'm like,

you're just talking about yourself, Jamarco. You need to ask a question. Who doesn't have a podcast that doesn't have a little bit of that? We have to believe that. She disagrees. You disagree? We believe to some extent

that our thoughts that everyone's having. Everyone has thoughts. Yeah, sure. We go hit record on ours. Right. But like also that's not unique at this point. You know what I mean? Literally everyone has a podcast. Literally everyone. Everyone has a podcast.

Everyone has access to social media everyone's like hey guys how's it going three followers you know what I mean like whatever like we all everybody's doing it everybody's doing it I don't think a narcissist it makes I think it's like you know for us also it's like career stuff and like you guys

I actually would end my podcast if I could. I actually would not do this right now if I could. Busy. No offense. You did not need to do this. I felt a lot. But I also, I feel like when somebody asks me to do something, I want to show up for them.

You were nice to me at that show. I cried in front of you. And then backstage I cried. Oh, wow. I know. I know. I felt like I owed it to you because you had to see my weird outburst of emotion in Los Angeles. John Mark is going to be searching for any celebrity to cry in front of

him now. I had like a weird day. I just had a weird day. I don't remember what happened. I got like a text. I was mad about something. Did I handle it well? You were very kind. Yeah, you were very kind. I got like a text. I was mad about something. I was upset about something. Did I handle it well? You were very kind. Yeah, you were very kind. I learned some of that.

I learned some basics from couples counseling. Great. Like I learned the skill. I learned the skill. Not every man has the skill. I certainly didn't. To go get the tissues. Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think you just handed me the tissues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was nice. That was nice. And I said, so I have a podcast that's called The Bad Side. It's literally like, no, that's not what happened. That's's literally like no that's not what happened but i but i did but like i do i do these things yeah i like do them because i yeah if people ask and i know and you know we're all out here trying

to i want everybody to succeed that's my i like want everyone to do well and i want everyone to succeed and like if that if that if you ask me because you're like i would love for you to come on this thing i'm gonna try i try. I'm going to try. I'm going to do my best to try. Well, that's nice. My girlfriend who is, who is great. We're going to be spending some time in LA. And I, I, I have a feeling that we, we were, I was in Toronto doing shows and she had some clients in the Toronto Film Festival.

And she, she, Tiff. Yeah. Oh, I am familiar. Sure. She, she, no, no, I, I knew you were familiar. She, it's like, there's some nice moments where she's really around the LA scene, all the movers and the shakers, so to speak. Sure, sure. And it's, it gives her a thrill and she's, I think,

feels sometimes when she goes to LA, it's like, it's all happening here. And I have a feeling, I have a pretty good feeling that we're going to go there to try it out. And she's going to be like, we need to move here. But she loves New York too. And I guess I'm wondering for you, do you love, at least with a family, do you like? My job is different, obviously.

And for me, being away from all that has been so nice. Yes. I don't know when awards shows are. I am not inundated with so many goddamn billboards of shows that I didn't even know existed that I'm not on that I did, you know, wasn't asked to audition for whatever. Like I am not running into people at soul cycle who are talking constantly about whatever this person is doing this thing. And this person sold that and this and that. Like, I never realized until moving here that I was always on. I always had some low grade level of anxiety about my own career

and and my ex-husband's career and like what we should be doing more of and where we should be going and what we should be support. Like, you know, that kind of thing that is just like, it is inescapable in Los Angeles. And then also I was back there over the summer and it was so nice to go to this party where I could talk about this fucking business the entire time from start to finish with people that I've known for 25 years. And like, he like, and it was just so easy and wonderful and fantastic to like, and like doing bits with people who are really funny and like, yeah, can really do bits and hang. I don't get that so much here in the circles.

You know what I mean? Who's the funniest friend that we would know? Like a comedian. Like in real life, they're like the funniest. Oh, well, I think friend jen tulloch is like one of the funniest oh i did a reading with her oh you did recently yeah yeah oh yeah sure sure that's so funny the a different one a different one a different one if it was for a movie but that's cool yeah yeah yeah she's great she's so great she makes me laugh she's so hard i her so much. But she like is on serious dramas.

Like she's on Severance. Yeah, she's on Severance. Yeah. She plays a sister. She's like Adam Scott's pregnant sister. Oh, yes. Uh-huh. No, she's amazing.

But she's so funny. She cracks me up. But like Ike Barinholtz is like one of my friends for one million years. I've known Ike and, um, like Seth Meyers and his brother, Josh Meyers. He's a good friend of mine in LA. Um,

those guys used to live together. Ike and Josh and Hayes MacArthur, like they all like lived in some house. This is like, I don't know, 20 years ago, 15 years ago. Anyway.

Um, yeah, I don't know. And here it's like at my kid's school i don't i might be the only actor yeah yeah sure i think i might be yeah you're definitely encountering people from different like it is that thing where i always say like when you go to la you're like in the hotel lobby you're like oh there's so much industry happening everywhere you go everywhere you go you go to a coffee shop you go to every bar everything you can feel it yes it can be both like exciting and also uh oh like that kind of

like thing you feel like you're on I lived there my entire career until four years ago, four years ago. Is that four years? Yeah. Wait. Yes. Yes. Four years ago. Um, and I do think that like also with the kids too, there was, there was something weird, like anywhere your kids go to school in Los Angeles, every, everyone they're in school with their parents work in the industry, everyone in some their their parent runs the studio their dad is a is the first ac on uh you know whatever like gray's anatomy i don't you know what i mean like there's like it's everyone works in some they're a public their mom's a publicist their dad is an entertainment lawyer like it's just you cannot escape it and kids like speak this language like really young and it's a weird language for children to hear children speaking I remember once being in a restaurant and these kids were like clearly like

in middle or high school were like having lunch behind me which you know you see sometimes like it's cute like they're like playing grown-up or whatever and the kid was like i don't know if yanush is gonna shoot it but like if he does i'm just gonna tell you and i was like i mean guys calm down yeah yeah yeah i'm like what the fuck and we had and we had a we had a an experience with one of our daughters well that's my older daughter when she was like first grade second grade where like she's we still had like a baby monitor in her bedroom you know like just you do like this is like a parent thing you just kind of and and we would let her and her friends like hang out in her room but like we kind of like i would keep the volume on a little bit just like make sure things aren't getting weird or out of control

and and actually it was my ex-husband that was listening and they were going over the instagram followers of their parents and all their kids in their class like how many instagram followers did people's parents have and mark up like right i just heard like this running through the house and then he like opened the door and i just i started like guys you know not real and i was like wait what happened like what what was that what happened and he's like you're not gonna fucking believe this and he was like i just explained to him it's not real. They need to talk about something else. That's so funny. And I was like, yeah, that's

fucking weird. Yeah. That's not a conversation that kids, like I've heard kids here having about their parents. Agreed. Okay. So that's what I'm, that's my point. Good. I'm going to use it. Yeah. I'll come back here. Let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Sign needs to stop this has got to stop sign these to end go away uh russell you got one

i don't think i've done this one before but i don't okay i don't know if it has to stop or has to change but when you see someone a friend and they say to hey say hi to to tova for me i need you to give a specific message or really mean it really say to me, I want you to grab me by the shoulders and say, say hi to Tova. Like, because it's just such a toss away line and I never do it. Sure. And I always feel like I'm not going to do this. And because I also, usually it's someone who could text Nicole and tell her, you know what I? Like, there's a thing where I'm like, you tell her. You're friends with her. Like, just text her right now.

You know? I don't know. It's just a toss-away thing. It doesn't mean anything. It's not malicious. So, it's your wife specifically? If I say to you, I said it before, send Nicole my love. I never, no.

I don't do that. For you? We've been doing all the love. I do if a specific thing has happened. Like, if a loss or something. You know, if there's like a... If she's in the room, do you do, she been doing all the love. I do. If a specific thing has happened, like if, if a loss or something, you know, if there's like a, if she's in the room,

do you do, she says, hi. No. Oh my God. All these years. No. Do you?

Yeah. I feel bad. Cause I'd actually don't think of it. Yeah. Um, I mean, I'll say they say hi. And she said,

what did they say about me? And I go, that was the full extent. It was high. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways yeah anyways okay I think it's fine if you have a real specific message or you really cut through and tell me I need to do it I'll do it you know tell Nicole I'm sorry okay I'll do that see I'll do that DeMarco said he's sorry he's sorry you know what my this has got to stop uh I'm doing it's sorry. Do you know what? My this has got to stop. I'm doing it for Tova.

This is a Tova's this has got to stop since you brought up SoulCycle. We're SoulCyclers. Tova really does not like turn to your neighbor and say good job. Turn to your neighbor and say

hi. Now, I don't like it. And as an antisocial person, I go, I need it. I need it. I need to make sure that I need to work on this. Yeah. I need to work.

Okay, good. I'm sweaty. I feel weird. But like, just do it. Just do it. Just say hi. Yeah. Outside of your comfort zone.

Yeah. And then sometimes they don't give it back and I go, whoa say hi. Outside of your comfort zone. Yeah. And then sometimes they don't give it back and I go, whoa, whoa. I thought we were all... This is part of the class. I thought this is... This is the soul. This is the soul in the soul cycle. We have done the cycle. This is the soul.

And we had a teacher recently. I think they were a little bit new and they were leaning on it a little too hard. So there was about 15 check-in with your neighbor. And Toba at the end was like, what? We're having a conversation in this class? So, so her, this has got to stop is, I don't know. We need community.

We're lonely in this world. Yeah. Loneliness epidemic. But that's probably not, that's probably not fixing it. Yeah. I've never said, Hey, do you want to get lunch? Yeah. So. have you ever made friends with someone that you work out that you like just knew through a workout no i don't think so and i

take a i'm a class i'm a class boy you got a class pass but when at barry's i'm gonna make a friend soul cycle i'm gonna make a friend you've made a friend at a workout class? Yeah. Where? Where was the access point? The music is blaring. In the locker room? Yeah. After, before, waiting. And you've gone somewhere else with them? Yeah.

Well, I made like a really good friend at Tracy Anderson Method like a million years ago. I haven't tried the Tracy Anderson Method. What is that one? Oh, it's like not a lot of guys, not a lot of men. That's the same for all the classes. That's true. That's true. That's true.

Um, it's like a lot of jumping around and then like sort of like leg lifts and things like that. Yeah. And then when I lived in LA, I do, and like pretty people know this about me. I do this workout called L E K fit, or I call it LEC fit, but it's really L E K fit. And she has a studio, but I made like a bunch of friends. Like I was friends with all these girls there and including a girl who would come on the weekends and she was in high school and she was so sweet. And then I ran into her on the

street here right when we moved to New York and she had just graduated from college and she ended up like being our babysitter for two years. Wow. I tell you in LA, this is where I was like, oh, I'm in LA. I took a workout class, I think at camp. It's like hot yoga, hot things. And I just always bring my phone in with my keys and whatever, and I just put it to the side. They were not happy.

No, so I just put it to the side. And then afterwards, a woman came up to me and she said, hey, if you were filming that class, I really don't want any of my things on the internet. And it was so interesting as I of course was not filming at all. I just had my phone kind of like this leaning or whatever. I don't think it was directly, but it felt like I was like, Oh, that's never happened. And I feel like it must be because this is a place where people are filming more and filming is like a thing. Right. And I, I felt so I was just like, I was like, Oh, look, look at my

phone. I swear to God, I wasn't filming, but it was a, i was like look look at my phone i swear to god i wasn't filming but it was uh it felt like oh this is this is this is a different culture thing i've never had anyone say that ever and this person thought i was filming myself working out yeah yeah or and i don't even think a pervy thing like they thought i was filming myself and they were like in the background it was very interesting that is interesting but also why didn't you want to be on the internet? I know. I was like,

well, you should have done better for him. You should have been trying a little harder. Yeah. Uh, do you have this? Got to stop. Yeah.

You might not like it. That's okay. You got to stop asking people who are coming on your podcast for free to do homework. Okay. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. Sure.

Yeah. I got, I don't have one. Sure. Hey, this is what I say to him every week. Hey, Hey, that's fair. I can't, I don't, I'm coming from to do it. Sure. Yeah. I don't have one. Sure. Hey, this is what I say to him every week. Hey, that's fair. I can't.

I'm coming from a charity thing. Yeah. Well, that's great. I'm going to another thing. This has got to stop. Sure. We're lucky I'm here. Yeah, we are.

Listen. Listen. Believe you me. Believe you me. Russell texted me. We've never, first of all, we've never had a guest early, period. Oh. Com comedians who have who are not coming from anything

comedians the first thing of their week and I expected I'd get here and it'd be like 15 minutes you show up and you'd be like I gotta go in 20 minutes we'd be like we're just so happy to have you and then Russell texted me I mean all caps all caps, get here. She's here.

And I ran as fast as I could. Well, I was like, because we were, we recorded yesterday and you were a little late. And I was like, you can't be late. Like today, you know, I was not going to be late today. I listen, I, I am, you know, I defy, I'm not a usual, I'm not a usual horrible actress. Yeah, no, no. Yeah. I think the earliest we've ever had anyone, which is saying it was only like three minutes

early. That's what I'm saying. That's what we're saying. That's what we're saying. That's our bar to clear out the day. I would say, I hope, I hope we were the same episode. Yeah. Literally because I hung up the phone with my, like I hung up the phone with my boyfriend and I literally was like, I think it was like yeah literally because I hung up the phone

with my like I hung up the phone with my boyfriend and I literally was like I think it's yeah 1057 it's just our bar is so low you know yeah I get it people are very lax yeah with other people's time but we knew you'd bring you bring it to the things that you do

you're not the kind of person that shows up to a table and goes hey you do it you're not the kind of person that shows up to a table and goes, hey, you do it. You give it your all for things. And I knew that from Love It or Leave It. I knew. Partially, I knew that. Well, you know, we literally shared the stage together.

We did. We shared the stage. We had a good time. You know what? By the way, we didn't even fucking talk about that. That, like, thing went so viral of me. And using the word going viral is so embarrassing i'm so embarrassed right now that i just said that however it resonated so deeply with a lot of

people people went well oprah that's oprah oprah fucking reached out what did she say yes this is viral you can say whatever the fuck you want yes this is how oprah reached out to me for the first time ever who is like oprah is like you know i I'm like a child who grew up like Oprah took care of me after school from three to four. And like, you know, while I ate my like microwave nachos and watched her and I love her so intensely. And yeah, she reached out and then asked me to be a part of this like special about like weight loss and the changing views on these, you know, with the drugs and all this stuff, because she like had seen the thing that I, she had seen it. Wow. Love it or leave it's going to use that when they reach out to guests for the next five years. We've had guests. We've had guests contacted by Oprah. Oprah saw it and reached out.

So if, when you're talking to Oprah, if she's opened a podcast, let's go into our final segment. You better count your blessings. No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. Oh, what? You know what time it is. Oh, it's 1230.

It's time for the call. Yeah. You do your blessings. You got to do your blessings. Let me see what You gotta see what's happening You gotta see what's happening I'll do my

Mute yourself though Mute yourself Please Wait You have to Okay Real quick my blessing Is today

On the way down here I saw a guy On the train That we had done Like some bad Theater production Like probably 14 years ago

But we weren't friends then we barely knew each other, but we did this thing. And I saw both of us be like, it's been too long. We don't have to say hi. Like, and I was like, Oh, amazing. Thank you. Like, it makes me wish we had been friends maybe because I was like, we both were like, it's been so long. We didn't really know each other that well. We weren't really friends. It would just be like a weird train subway thing. We don't have to. We don't have to do this.

And I was so thankful. I saw in his eyes that he did it too. And we were both like, okay, great. Oh, it was nice. That is nice. Because sometimes those things are like, what are you going to ask? I have no idea what he's been up to. So thanks, guy.

That's a great one. Wait, what happened with the call? What's happening? I think you sent the wrong number. No, that's not great one wait what happened with the call what's happening i think you sent the wrong number no that's not true i can't your dad is killing me i people's weird dads are maybe my kink it's maybe my thing i'm not even kidding i'm so fucking right now i'm so into people's weird dads he his dad has like he talks really quiet and i I was like, oh, I can see why people were like drawn in. That's a power move, man. He would talk real quick. Going right to voicemail.

Just be like, I'm here for the moment of silence. Yes, weird dads are fun to talk about. Other people's weird dads. I know. Yeah. Sometimes people go, your dad is fun to talk about. Other people's weird dads. I know. Sometimes people go, your dad's quite a character. And I'm like, I feel like I've mispainted him. We've said this a million times on the podcast,

but just see one quick example of John Marker's dad. The first minute of meeting him, he pulled a photo off of the restaurant wall of George W. Bush eating at the restaurant and brought it over to show us. Big Italian restaurant full of clutter, different statues, different things. He just picks up two different things and brings them over. Like, look at this.

You see this over here? Look at this. George W. Bush ate it up there. That's how you know it's a bad Italian restaurant. If Clinton ate there, probably because of pasta. George W. Bush is your endorsement for the Italian restaurant? I don't think so. Absolutely not. Maybe it was like a

barbecue. Before we had said hi, we were like, oh, yeah. It was very funny. What's so funny is there's 20 people on this chain who he said for the moment of silence, no one's texted, which can only be I was the only one. You're the only one doing it while you're on a podcast. But you haven't

texted. You haven't said, hey, this number's not working. I want you to do that right now. I'm counting my blessings. Okay, well, I count my blessings. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just, I'm grateful to, I just, I don't know. I'm like always sort of grateful.

I like live in this state of eternally being like surprised that this is all just still able to happen yeah like life yeah you know what i mean i don't know i've had like a lot of weird it was a weird year i've had some weird i've had some weird year we've had some weird years all of us collectively sure i've had a weird i had a weird year and i'm like great i'm grateful that i like still can like work and i'm that i can still work and make money and do this. It's a great show, too. Thank you. It is a great show.

It's so funny. It's good jokes. It's great. It's a good group. I was watching Sis Peacock from the beginning. Oh, yeah. So nice. So nice.

Well, hopefully Netflix gives us a fourth season. We don't know yet, but we'll see. Even if it ended, it was such an amazing experience. We had the best time and yeah, I don't know. Um, that's wonderful. My blessing.

And we're going to talk about one of these episodes, but my, my good friend, comedian, Jay Jordan, uh, uh, let me and Tova go to fire Island for the first time. And we went on a Saturday and,

uh, uh, does he have a house? He rented a house. Most people are just like kind of renting for the weekend. I was like, I didn't know Jay had a fire island house. And it was so lovely.

It was a magical place. There's just bamboo and boardwalks and you're just going from pool party to pool party to pool party. That's what people say. I've never been. And oh, it's, I mean, I have a couple of friends that have. You say. I've never been. Oh, it's, I mean, you'd be celebrated. You'd be carried through the streets. Oh my God.

You know, with like sprinkling a special K in front of you as you like went along the way. It's, I mean, it's surreal. You go off that ferry and there's a gym. There's an outdoor gym right when you land, just if you want to get some like last minute pump in there.

I love it. There was, I knew I was, I have my own food things, but there was like, there was the breakfast place, but then they had something called the Pine Boys Omelet, which was like egg whites, chicken and spinach. And I was like, I'm getting the, and I was like, this is partly where I relate to this culture. Yeah.

And then we went to house and there was a leather sex swing and we got drinks. And then we just went for a party. I got to meet Cody from Peloton. And he's the guy I always pick when I pick my Peloton. I do a lot of Peloton at hotels. And Cody was there. And all I said was- Big year of fitness influencers

I'm used to shaking people's hand because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but there we're hugging and then he hugged me and then I just said very softly I said a big fan and it just felt like I said the wrong thing it just was like oh fan and I said oh okay

I'm still going to watch you Cody Honestly Cody you should take it He should have some grace You should have been like And I said, oh, okay. I'm still going to watch you, Cody. Honestly, Cody, you should take it. He should have some grace. You know what I mean? You should have some grace, Cody. You should have been like, Cody, have some grace. Also, would you like to come on my podcast?

I'd love to have him on the podcast. I love when a Peloton works, it's rare, but when a Peloton works, it's a good time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, whatever it is, what are you going to read? Lift it up a thing you're gonna read stuff

we read the Pledge of Allegiance at the end of every episode we give a minute for 9-11 it's a flawed country but it's a good one this is coming out October 8th

so I hope you enjoyed our debate coverage and 9-11 stories busy so timely where can people find you what do you want to plug I mean dude

watch Girls 5 ever on Netflix. Tell them to give us another season. I'm on Instagram. That's the only social media I do at this point. And you know, Oh, and I QVC, I I'm doing a talk show on QVC plus,

which is QVC is the home shopping network, but they have like an app that's free. Yeah. And I did this talk show for them and it's really fun and weird. And like, I don't even have to really sell anything. And it's just fun. It's just, you can watch the episodes on QVC plus it's free. Do they give it?

Because there's still a lot of jewelry on QVC. Like, do they have a lot of cool, like, here, wear this? Well, so, yeah. So, like, my show is just like a talk show like a tradition it's not it's not in pennsylvania at the qvc we did like filmed it all here oh cool and so you can like watch all the episodes on their service or whatever on their app um if you have a smart tv you can like get the qvc app and like download it uh but one thing that, this was not contractual, but I was like, I want to wear, everything I wear should be QVC. Of course.

A hundred percent. So the guy, Matthew Hemesath, who's the wardrobe designer for Girls5eva, I asked him to come on to the QVC talk show and like, let's just do it. And so we like put together all these outfits. And a couple times some of the executives at QVC are like, that's not from us, is it? And I'm like, it is a hundred percent. Everything on my body is from QVC. Yeah. And they just was like, we would just style it.

We would like, we would like do a little like, you know, shoulder, like take in the waist a little bit, like roll a cuff. We were doing downside versions for Amazon. And I think it'd be funny if we had to wear their like generic fitting Amazon base and nothing fits. One size fits all. And one size fits all. I think that's a great idea. Amazon stretchy.

That would be amazing. Don't give them ideas. Yeah. And they'll be like, that's Amazon. That's Amazon, right? You didn't stylize that at all. Very clearly Amazon. That's Amazon.

Yeah. Very clearly. That's Amazon. Amazon anyway so people can check that out because I think it's really funny and great we had really good guests Tina Fey was on lots of good Sherri Shepherd, Kenan Thompson Russell what would you like to plug

October we have an Uncle Function show coming up in New York in November but I don't have the details of it yet and then we'll have announced our thing by then or no our tour no we're doing a West Coast tour

it's not announced it'll be happening the links will be sporadic I will be in Atlanta this weekend I'm headlining four nights in Atlanta too many nights and then I'll be in Springfield, Missouri not because I will be in Atlanta this weekend. I'm headlining four nights in Atlanta. Too many nights. And then I'll be in Springfield, Missouri. Not because I don't love Atlanta.

It's just that's a lot of seats. And then I'll be in Springfield, Missouri, October 17th through the 19th. And then next weekend's my anniversary. So no shows. No shows. What are you going to do? Is it a surprise? I think first there's going to be a Shabbat dinner.

Nice. That's going to be like a bigger thing because I'm just never in town for Friday. And then Saturday, I think we decided a staycation, either Queens or Deep Brooklyn spa, just chill. Have you ever done that spa that's on Governor's Island? The outdoor tents? Yeah. We did it twice. You're talking to the expert. I was supposed to go with you, remember? You were tents? Yeah. We did it twice. You're talking to the expert.

I was supposed to go with you, remember? You were supposed to go. And then Gutenberg. You got Gutenberg. Big mistake in retrospect. No, it was really nice the first time.

And then we went back the second time and like the quality had dipped, dipped, dipped. And it was one of those where I was like, I was talking to the manager. She's like,

I just, I have to be right back and she was running the restaurant as the server and you were like the budget cuts they've ruined it so all you know if it comes back but that first night sleeping in a tent outdoors that feeling of like I'm an outdoorsy person and you're sleeping in an air

conditioned tent and New York's there I love Governor's Island Busy thank you so much thank you let's have a moment of silence just for ourselves there. I love Governor's Island. That's cool. Busy, thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Let's have a moment of silence just for ourselves. This is The Downside.

One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.